#let me do my work or send me home then
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getting called out by my boss for not being āmy usual cheery selfā at work when she knows full on why iām upset
#tw vent#tw death#tw grief#i lost a family member on tuesday#not to mention in 10 days will be the first anniversary of my closest guy friend passing#and my baby is at the vet#like yeah iām sorry i canāt fake a smile#let me do my work or send me home then#i do not have it in me to pretend itās okay rn#and itās not really a joke so idk why sheās poking fun at it#āĖā¹ į° xoxo aims#tbd sorry
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my sweet little baby man is no longer with us
#he had his bloodwork done yesterday and the vet said it was fine but he doesnt have much time left#and my bestie is a vet tech who wanted to see the lab results bc she always does and she looked at them#and asked me if she can shiw them to her boss today and i was like sure and immediately knew something was up#today keekki was being himself#then i went to run some errands and when i came back he was laying in front of the front door with his tiny baby head against it#and i was like ''oh ok one of his seizures?''#and theyre like. keekki will drool and not move and they usually last for like 20 minutes (several vets have no idea whats up with those#but it was probably either a kidney or a blood pressure thing)#anyways. it did not pass in 20 minutes so i Knew#i laid on the floor next to him#then my bff sent me a message asking me if i have the time to talk about keekki and its not good news#at this point i was about to call the vet anyways#and she was like ''ok i showed these to my boss (a vet) and she got super angry that ur vet even let you leave the clinic''#bc apparently keekkis bloodwork was so bad he should have been put down then and there but my vet was like a fresh half graduate#so i dont hold it against her. anyways i got an euthanasia appointment for this evening and spent the time before it laying on the couch#crying with keekki in my arms#i had to carry him bc he couldnt really walk without stumbling and falling down#when i had to get up to get his carrier and stuff ready he was taking a nap on the couch where i left him and i took this pic#anyways worst vet visit of my life i could hardly even do anything but nod half the time bc speaking results in me sobbing#anyways. this fucking sucks#i dont know how ill be able to sleep tonight#its been years since i last slept at home without having a little guy plop into my arms#i spent a long time with him in the vet room when he was gone#it feels surreal ive given him his last ever forehead kisses#as i left the room i told him bye the exact same way ive been saying bye to him for the last very many years ive had him#its always moikka keekki before i go to work or the store or literally anything#and that was my last moikka keekki#i hope he felt how loved he was#my dad is sending me older pics of me and keekki and he looks so happy in them. hes always right next to me#idk man im going to stop rambling now
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i am so so close to being able to enjoy the holiday we're SO CLOSE
#[ i work for a church so you can imagine things have been STRESSFUL the last few days#and it sucks bc things have ALREADY BEEN STRESSFUL#i'm literally avoiding sending work e-mails rn LMAO#i feel like i'm so barely keeping my head above water and i'm trying so hard to be EVERYWHERE and do everything and i just cannot do it#i have been pushing myself SO hard and i'm trying to tell myself i'm doing well but it's also really hard when everybody is so#critical of every single move i make#even taking a little time for myself has been criticized to high hell.#it finally boiled over today and i cried. and that's okay.#it's gonna be okay. i'm gonna make it out of this. i'm going to take the deepest breath on Wednesday night.#away from home and surrounded by people who love me.#and tonight and tomorrow i am taking MORE time for myself idc.#we win these. ]#[ this is all i'm gonna let myself say about this bc on GOD i'm writing more tonight and tomorrow i'm gonna have MORE FUN ]#[ ā ] āā ` ooc ( saying funny things to the stars )
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#vent post#ok to rb without screenshotting the tags but idk why you'd do that anyways#I'm once again wishing every fellow adult living with their parents a very 'I'm sorry o7'#mom's getting on my case about 'not wanting to be part of the family'#but if dinners are always silent and uncomfortable with all of us not talking then I think it's normal for me to leave the table#when I'm done eating. it's not 'not wanting to be part of the family' it's just not wanting to be somewhere awkward as hell lmfao#like oh okay sorry let me sit here for another fifteen minutes silently bc y'all ignore every conversation I try to start. jesus christ.#goddddddddddddddddddd fuck the housing market lmao#I love my family but I'd like them a hell of a lot more if I didn't live here#a little distance does wonders#anywaysssss sending love to everyone else who is perpetually stuck at home. esp oldest siblings and ill folk š¤#we'll get out eventually#no more silent dinners and people who find your optimism and attempts to lighten the mood to be juvenile#stay miserable and pragmatic and 'realist'. no joy or whimsy. fucking whatever. I'm not sinking down to cynicism.#what's the opposite of being the moody black sheep of the family lmao. I'm the only one who seems to enjoy being unserious#ok. vent over but fr anyone else stuck at home when they don't want to be: i love you and we'll figure it out in time. things WILL work out#delete later???
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Do you have someone you talk to everyday? Except family
anon why are you trying to give me an existential crisis in the middle of the day:') also. bold of you to assume i talk to my family every day jsfhdkjghjk
#EVERY day every day? idts. i do not talk to my college friends at ALL when im home over the weekends#except rarely when they text me about assignments#but i guess i talk to them every day during the working week cause i meet them every day#i guess i talk to certain mutuals pretty much every day. i think ive talked to phobicule almost every day this week#shoutout to hana and rafaela i think the past couple months ive been talking to them pretty much every day#i USED to have someone id talk to every single day even when we hadnt lived in the same city since elementary school but#that's a different story. she sucks#and i dont think we've been friends let alone best friends in like eight months now#and there were a couple of other people id talk to every day and we still do talk and i still love them as much obviously#but im just constantly drained and overworked so not EVERY day#and there are some people i wish i could talk to more but somehow have even less time and energy than i do#but i dont think we're any less close than we used to be because of that. life's just hectic we're still a call away#anon (derogatory)#<- sorry:')#im assuming you saw my college post and i dont really get why youd send this lol
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~ ~ ~
#for the last couple days whenever I try to talk to partner about something more serious Iām feeling/thinking they just acknowledge that#they read it and then just blow it off. like putting a sad face emoji to show they read my message and then sending š which is our#indicator for ādonāt want to/canāt talk right nowā. and if they were at work Iād understand but then they donāt try to let me talk later#when weāre together either. and this has even been happening at times where theyāre home on a day off. I get maybe not having the energy or#capacity to let someone vent or complain or whatever but at the same timeā¦ weāve been together a year and a half and we live together now#and theyāre supposed to be the person I can count on to let me talk and help me feel better if Iām depressed or sad or anxious or whatever#I would do it for them and I do actually do it for them whenever they need me to because I believe thatās what a good partner should do#and yeah my problems are not very serious but theyāre still a big deal to me and making me sad/upset and I want to be able to talk about#them outside of just going to therapy once a week. therapy is great and all but emotions arenāt programmed to just line up with a session#Iām still going to think and feel things during the rest of my time outside of therapy and need support and Iām just not getting it now#but what am I supposed to do? try to force them to listen to me? that wouldnāt be fair to either of us#guess Iāll just be stuck alone with my thoughts as usual#personal
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MY LIFE IS NOT REAL WHAT IS GOING ON
#GUYS#so for context before i get into the storytime i currently live at home with my mom and brother#and my mom came into my room at like 10:30 and said āi need you to go downstairs and be the adult right now because i canāt deal with thisā#(āmy mom is 54 and iām 20 but sure iāll be the adult???)#so basically. my brother (13) gave our fucking address to some random person on discord who claims to be 11 but who the fuck knows#keep in mind my brother was born in 2011 so heās grown up with the internet his whole life#and heās been told countless times by my entire family not to give out personal information online but he has done it multiple times#anyway he says he and his friends from school have been talking to this ļæ½ļæ½kidā on discord for like a year#and none of them know him irl bc he lives in rhode island or something but theyāve apparently been on video calls with him and seen his face#so thereās a good chance he actually is a kid but i personally donāt trust anything online anymore so iām not totally convinced#but anyway he apparently sent my brother what looked like a youtube link but when he clicked on it it gave this kid his ip address#i have no idea how that shit works or if thatās possible but thatās what heās saying#and then my brother was arguing with this kid bc i guess heās racist?? and the kid was like ājust remember i have your addressā#and my brother is being super vague about everything but i guess the kid implied he was going to send a swat team to our house or some shit#so my brother freaked out and called the cops and since my mom wanted me to be the adult i had to go sit downstairs and wait for them#and let me tell you it was so fucking embarrassing standing there while my brother told the cop this insane story#and while my brother was inside getting his phone the cop asked me āso whatās the deal do you think this is legit or just kids talking shitā#like bro donāt ask me i have no idea what the fuck is going on and iām so sorry you had to come to our house to deal with this š#anyway heās going to file a report so if the cops get a call anytime soon about a murder or something happening at our houseā#ātheyāll call me or my mom to ask whatās going on and make sure itās not this fucking kid from rhode island swatting us#so that was my night! what the fuck#iāve never regretted moving back home more than i do right now#lj.txt
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I can't sleep again
#it's all just too much#i need to be sending out emails and arranging stuff for a whole load of different things#but doing that fills me with such anxiety because i dont know how the fuck it works#but every moment I'm not doing those things it fills me with anxiety because i realise I'm standing still#and the only way forward it seems is through this#only it's not because the previous thing i was going was actually working and helping me forward but then my local gov said no actually#you're not allowed to do the thing anymore because we think so even tho we dont know what were talking about#so now you got the offer to look into this other thing that really just feels like the thing you already had but worse#so you have to contact the new thing and see what exactly they're about but already deep inside you know it probably wont work out#so it feels like you'll be doing that only so you can see it doesnt work in the hope that maybe if it doesnt work you can go back#to the gov people and show them the old thing was actually right. but that might not work and then you'll have to sue them#and all the while you spend your days just sitting at home doing nothing and slowly wasting away#getting a little bit worse every day. as you feel all the progress you made in the last year slowly slip through your fingers#and you start to think that maybe this is it. maybe it just doesn't get better. maybe this really is the best you can do and any more just#isn't in the cards for you. maybe you're just not cut out for this whole adult life business. you'll forever be...a failure#and that's just one thing. one thing of many you constantly need to worry about. it's not even adressing that your adhd treatment is still#kind of unclear who exactly is responsible. you've been running out of meds for a week and still haven't called because it's too much stress#or the way its been almost five years since you got on the waiting list at the gender clinic#three years of which were spent on the waiting list#but even now you've been āin treatmentā for the past year and a half you still feel like you're no further. still no official ādiagnosisā.#still no approval to change your birth certificate. your passport will run out by the end of the year and you'll have to get yet another#new one with your dead name on it. still no idea when you might finally get their approval to start on HRT. no idea when you might finally#get to stop feeling like every single day your body becomes a little less yours. where you look in the mirror and see someone stare back who#just simply looks wrong. feels wrong. you look at the hair on your head that really needs a haircut but you dont dare touch it because its#the one little thing that keeps the dysphoria at bay. and then you think of your dad and his bald head. and you look at your hairline and#cant help but wonder āis it receding a bit more right there?ā always wondering if you'll lose this little bit of safety too#its all just too much. i dont know how much longer I can keep pushing myself forward at this rate. when all the good things get taken away#and I'm left having to deal with all of it on my own. i dont want to be alone but i dont know how to reach out to those around me. not even#to my friends sometimes. i know they're out there and i know they care but at the same time i dont know how to#let them. so I'm left alone and it's all my fault? isn't it. i know not all of this is my fault but also all of it is and i just
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god sometimes i wish the whole "you wouldn't say/do that to a physically disabled person" lie that certain mentally ill people say was true bc i fucking WISH i could use "I'm in a wheelchair" as a gotcha for people being ableist against me. unfortunately,
#so my psych that I'm dropping the SECOND i get a new (better) one#like that whole facility. they DO have telehealth/video appointments#but they fucking?????? make the PATIENT DRIVE TO THE BUILDING FOR THE APPOINTMENT#WHILE THE DOCTOR IS AT FUCKING HOME. WHY THE HELL DO I HAVE TO GO INTO HER OFFICE WHEN SHE'S NOT EVEN THERE?????#like it's actually fucking ridiculous AND they NEVER get interpreters when requested AND they ONLY allow to schedule by PHONE#like- my Deaf mother literally physically cannot communicate with them because they refuse to speak to a video phone interpreter#or let her talk to them in person or via email. it actually pisses me off so fucking much#and like. most doctors offices. if you're late they give you 15 minutes before they declare you a no show and cancel#that place gives FIVE MINUTES. i walked in SIX MINUTES LATE one day and BEGGED them to just let me do the appointment#and they still refused#so i was out of meds for like. two weeks. anyway#the last straw was the last TWO times i went i was in my wheelchair#and the doors. open inwards to the rooms#so they closed me in the room for the appointment#and i PHYSICALLY COULDN'T GET OUT because i COULDN'T OPEN THE DOOR because there wasn't enough wheelchair space#and i had to frantically text my mom to let me out and SHE GOT IN TROUBLE FOR IT when i was SOBBING#bc i had tried genuinely screaming at the top of my lungs for someone to let me out of the room but nobody fucking heard me#and the second time i told the nurse 'HEY I CAN'T GET OUT OF HERE WITH MY CHAIR' and she was like 'don't worry I'll come get you'#she never did. i had to get my mom again#not fucking going back there ever again they've only ever pissed me off more with every single interaction#oh also they only let you schedule new appointments after they SEND YOU A LETTER SAYING YOU CAN CALL TO SCHEDULE NOW#if you call before then they DON'T LET YOU#and they give literally fucking 3-5 day later appointments when I've requested SEVERAL times I NEED A TWO WEEK NOTICE FOR WORK#also they don't give a shit about cutting you off your medicine cold turkey and not refilling it until several requests later#fuck that place. i hope every good doctor there finds a better job and the building gets abandoned and crumbles to the ground.
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everythingās falling APARTTTT
#personal#the engineering chronicles#didnāt finish probability hw + have lab in that class no clue how to do it + couldnāt get into lab to finish lab for other class bc my lab#access card is missing and the guy the website says to contact for replacements isnāt replying to my emails + was going to work on it w lab#partner but she decided to fuck off and do it on her own so now there is literally no way for me to finish it since no one is ever in there#to let me in when i look + weāre not allowed to be in there alone anyway + ON TOP OF THAT will have to leave the next lab for that class#halfway thru so probably wonāt finish that lab either + diffeq group project due tmrw that ive done most of and no one else has touched#since i did what i did + physics exam tmrw.#also weāre going over circuits exams today so i will need to see my probably solid 20% on that YAYYYY#i just want to go home and paint and glaze my cats good fucking god#the physics chronicles#the calc chronicles#<- itās not but i donāt want to make a new tag for diffeq#edit why did my grandma send me a text saying āone more day!ā immediately after i posted this WRDHFN š
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i started writing a whole thing about mir and her mom and then i realized i accidentally gave the briadis family the perfect set up for a tragic family empire tv show
#her mom is a powerful merchant who wants to pass the business on to her kids#her oldest brother is being groomed for the job but heās better at and prefers life as a ship captain#no matter how hard they try to bring him home!#her oldest sister wants the job TOO MUCH and tries to hard but itās not good at it#and their mom kind of disdains her for it. lol#elaine is smart enough and good enough with people to do it but sheās too soft#and wants to burn the whole thing down bc they sold mir to the order and stopped her sending letters to her#mirās younger siblings are enjoying traveling as part of a ships crew while they work their way up but i donāt think their mom#has high hopes for them.#ironically given mirās personality she might have been good at it if sheād been trained!!#and their mom knows this and knew it before she sold mir to the order but she was never going to let a magianis have control of it#which brings me back to the thing that started this: mirās mom genuinely thought it was best to sell her to the order bc she couldnāt#protect mir from the consequences of being magianis and thought being trained by the order was the best way to keep her safe#and that if they paid for her they would think of her as an investment (merchant brain logic that was also just her pacifiying herself into#thinking it was right. did she actually believe this?? would it have mattered?? well. who can say!)#they do all have names i just canāt off the top of my head remember ahdhdjsk#oc: mirren sero#i need a text post tag#when was the last time i wrote a wall of tags about herā¦i miss her#i should add. her mom thought it would keep mir safe but also it was a convenient way to get her out of the way. so
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day two done (ish) of straight 9 hrs of sculpting \o/ its a bit jarring going from grunt work with sporadic creative moments to nonstop creative shit. my brain hasn't done this in a while LOL. (it feels really REALLY good though). i will probably continue after dinner today too because im ahead of my portfolio schedule and if i can get this one thing done today, i can have all day tomorrow to maybe add some extra pieces in :)
#Journal shit#The carrot on a stick im using is geno#If i finish this in time to render it on saturday and get it out there sunday#I will let myself sculpt evgeni's face for my next project LOL#Whatever its working \o/#My friends keep sending me links to jobs#I mean who keeps their portfolio recent while they are working?????? :/ i dont know but whoever they are they are probably too perfect#I am not that#I guess i should i just...usually the last thing i want to do when i get home after work is do MORE 3D shit#All i want to do is draw
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working from home sucks. like how DARE you stress me out in my own home
#I only wfh once or twice a week and they might as well just give me the day off#50% of my job pertains to people coming up to me in the moment and asking questions#or my manager leaning over and askingn me to do something#soā¦.donāt really have that at home#just let me send out my silly little reports and move my silly little work orders and be done for the day#I only do like 3 straight hours of work at home and STILL get everything done#full time jobs are such a scam#ashley speaks now
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Im saying, mind you they have been amazing to me in person at cons and sweet to me online.
"We need more unapologetically weird folks!" you guys can't even handle furries
#mind you I've always been insecure with Mfers online#so many folks online think niggas from the hood dont have online hobbies#ion gotta code switch no furry I can be my unapologetic self and they be like AND YOU HAVE A SONA TOO SO COOL HI#ntm this gonna some fucking wild but had it not been for furries or the furry fandom would of 100% ended up dead like many of my friends#sounds dramatic dont it? not really while I did run on the street andparty it up...there were times I stayed my ass home Iming friends or#talking to a client back and forth sending wips... lets not forget that one time I stayed home to work one on one with a client online#sending wips instead of going to this house party I told my friends I was going to low an behold the party got shot up.... and folks got#hurt and guess who dodged a literal bullet!! I DID I will never forget that shit#Love me my furries thanks for keeping my ass busy and out of harms way yuh know and pushing me to do better in my work
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I love that my dad and I both have habits of naming stuff in Latin
A lot of my playlists are named in Latin just because I think it's a very pretty and direct language for emotions / feelings
My dad's actual album he did a few years back is also named in Latin. We got into a long conversation about the meaning behind the language itself not long ago
It's weird now that I'm older I can actually have these kinds of conversations with him, I was never really into any of this stuff when I was younger and now I'm hounding him with music questions and wish I got more involved as a kid
#I miss him a lot I'm hoping he comes to visit soon#I can't leave Flordia because of work#and he lives in Louisiana š#I'm honestly hoping that at some point when I get hard into music I can take a trip down to get things recorded in his studio#music is such a big part of our lives and I'm honestly kinda upset I wasnt still living at home when I had my like musical awakening#because now I want to learn and make music and he's always offered to let me use his mass amount of vintage equipment#I plan to work with him a lot when I start writing and recording#I have a long way yet but I have so many ideas and I want to be a part of his music again#I used to do some backing vocals for him on his stuff when I was younger I wish i never stopped#I miss going to his live shows and helping set up equipment even if they were smaller#I would convince him to get his band back together but one of the guitarists died right after the album finished#man was like a brother to me miss him a lot#im around his age now and it's scary to think about#i listen to my dads album a lot and plan to learn it#he also sends me songs he works on now even though he doesnt record much anymore#my roommate / one of my best friends is also a music nerd#so were absolutely doing a music duo#he actively brought all his equipment down from his parents so we could work on things together#im so hyped
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18+ Minors dni. Buckys innocent neighbor who bakes him cookies and muffins just cause. The girl next door who has the coziest apartment he's ever been in. Shelves filled with books along with plenty of comfy blankets decorating the couches. Bucky has his own place right across but home is with her (even if she doesn't know it yet).
She's the type of girl he's going to take his time with, asking her out on a date, just coffee and a walk in the park. Nothing more than a kiss on her cheek at the end of the night. Another date. Dinner. Another kiss to her other cheek. He wouldn't dare rush anything, especially not someone as soft and sweet as her.
He feels like such a dirty little pervert when he thinks about her afterwards when he's alone in bed, all the blood in his body rushing south, and fuck he's so hard. He tries to ignore it, he didn't want to do something so debauched by thinking of her like that, he even tries to think about his grocery list, laundry, he'd probably wash his arm later, it would probably be fine in the dishwasher-
Nothing worked.
He groans, shuffling and kicking his sweats off, hissing when his hand goes down to tug at his aching cock, relief flooding his veins at the sensation. He lets his mind wander to how adorable she'd be, the way he'd take her apart in the most gentle way. Lay her against the pillows while he holds those soft thighs apart, giving her the most feather light suckles on that perfect clit, basking in all the sounds she'd make. He strokes himself faster thinking about the way he'd get her ready to take all of him. How he'd make it so good for her-shit he was going to blow-maybe if he was lucky, one day she'd let him put his cock in her mou-
"Fuck!!" Bucky threw his head back, spurts of cum shooting from his sensitive head, his post orgasm haze leaving him feeling like a filthy old man. She were here making him baked treats and he was jerking his dick off like a sick fuck.
Then the night finally comes. Bucky is ready to cuddle and nothing else but he's thrown off because never in his wildest fantasies did he expect this.
She is the girl who sends him reeling the first time he takes her clothes off one by one revealing dark ink on her back and hips. He has to suppress a growl, his eyes growing wide at the scantily clad lace that covers her body.
"Like what you see, Sergeant?" she practically purrs in his ear while he lets his han ghost over her bare skin, his chest heaving when his eyes fall to her perfect breasts, hints of silver peeking from under her lingerie, there was no way-
"Can I?" He asks breathlessly, his hand reaching behind to unclasp the bra, those pretty pierced nipples begging to be sucked.
Bucky who turns into a fucking menace, his entire world flipping upside down when she grinds down on his crotch not hiding exactly what she needs from him. He doesn't even have the ability to hide how feral he is, letting all his inhibitions slip.
-
"My little bunny's a slut, fuck, c'mere" He grabs you and tosses you over his shoulder, hauling you over to his bedroom like an untamed beast, tossing you onto his bed with no remorse. You're in nothing but your panties which he rips right off, your thighs squeezing together at the way he stalks over to you, his hungry eyes raking up and down your body without an ounce of shame. He tugs his sweats down to reveal his leaky cock, stroking it at the edge of his bed after tossing his shirt off.
"See this baby? Been fuckin' stroking and touching myself like a fuckin' teenager because of you-" He throws off his pants before climbing onto the bed and kneeling between your thighs, spreading them apart with his knees, "-and you've been here lookin' like God damn sin under those cute little sweaters"
He flicks his cockhead against your clit, humming at the clear beads of his arousal that drip onto your cunt.
"Fuck James, need more, pl-"
"Nuh uh, what was that you called me earlier, sweets?" He lets out a dark chuckle, the veins in his cock throbbing as he tightly holds the base, waiting to hear it again.
"Sergeant" you whine with mischief in your eyes and Bucky is a goner. He'll taste you later and most definitely feed you his cock another day but right now he wants to be nowhere else other than your pussy. He wants to watch you take every bit of him, rolling over to lay on his back while you straddle him, his length slotted against your cunt. He holds it up for you with a cocky look on his face, moaning when his tip breeches your tight pussy, your walls gripping his swollen, pink head.
"That's just the tip baby, c'mon, sit on it, wanna put all of my dick in you, that's it, good girl-shittt"
"Oh fuccckk,s'big" You moan feeling the stretch as you sink all the way down, panting and staying still while you adjust to his size.
"That's it bunny, that's it, ride me, ride your Sergeant" He grabs you by the hips, guiding you to grind down on him, making you feel his entire cock in your stomach. "You're a slut for big dick aren't you baby, acting all cute and shy when all you really wanted was the winter soldier's cock"
Bucky wasn't even sure where all the filth spewing from his mouth was even coming from but he couldn't stop.
"S'that it bunny? Say it baby, tell me how much you wanted my fat cock in you"
"Wanted it! F-cuk Sergeant, wanted your cock s-o-so bad!!"
"Fuck yes!!" His feet plant to meet your bounces, his hips thrusting up, slamming his entire length into you. "M'close, fuck bunny, gonna cum already, I can't hold it-
He doesn't have time to be embarrassed. You feel to good. He rubs your clit needing you to cum all over him so he can let go.
"Please, cum all over Sergeants cock baby, give it to me, be a good girl n'cum, c'mon, cum on my dick, yes, oh fuck yes I can feel it-milk it, shit touch my balls-"
You nearly collapse as your orgasm starts to wash over you, his sponge head hitting the most sensitive parts against your walls while he toys with your clit. His voice is muffled as you start to feel waves of pleasure consume you but you head just enough to reach behind, rubbing his heavy, so full of cum ba-
"FUUUCCCCKKK" He grabs you and wraps his arms around your body while he relentlessly thrusts up, biting down on your shoulder while he lets out the sluttiest, loudest moan with 0 remorse. It feels too good and he's sure the neighbors can hear but honestly, everyone should know how amazing it feels.
-
"I got you pretty baby" Bucky coos as you nuzzle into the crook of his neck, a shiver running through you while you float in bliss. Bucky pulls the covers up, deciding to cuddle up with you for a bit before running a shower, his previous demeanor replaced with the far less debauched version of him.
Anyway, just an idea. Also, it's past my bedtime.
#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes fluff#bucky x reader#bucky barnes x f!reader#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes fan fiction#bucky barnes fanfic#bucky fan fiction#bucky fan fic#bucky fanfic#james buchanan barnes#james bucky buchanan barnes#james bucky barnes#bucky barnes smut au#bucky barnes smut#bucky smut#marvel smut#marvel fic#marvel fanfic#marvel fanfiction#avengers fluff#avengers smut#bucky barnes x freader#bucky barnes x fluff#bucky barnes x f reafer#bucky x f reader
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