#let me be mentally ill

[ladycatashtrophe]

"Wow, you're so self-aware! It takes most people years of therapy and dedication to get to that point." Thanks, I constantly feel completely disconnected from my physical being and the material sensation of my body, brain, and spirit/soul is so overwhelming that I often have to see myself as an objective third-party instead of an integrated entity. Father son holy spirit and all that.

[irarann]

i was searching up shadow milks sprites on the wiki (for reference) and i found something interesting

when the eye is closed, its the eye of truth. when opened, its deceit meaning that you are opening your eyes to deceit, which is opposite to the more usually referenced "open your eyes to the truth" idiom but it can also imply that the truth is only your truth until you open your eyes to all the lies that surrounds you. the truth is a lie, a sweet and white lie, but still a lie. and also, who usually keeps their eyes closed?

yeah. now, who recently was awoken to the lies that surrounded him? ill let you figure that out.

[actually-mentally-ill]

sorry, did you say,

“toxic, dangerous, sexy af and could probably kill me at any given moment if they wanted”?

…

[inkskinned]

they want to talk about mental illness and acceptance and how everyone is a little ocd it's cute and quirky and their "intrusive thoughts" are about cutting their hair off and you say yours are about taking a razorblade to your eye and they say ew can you not and everyone is a little adhd sometimes! except if you're late it's a personality flaw and it's because you are careless and cruel (and someone else with adhd mentions they can be on time, so why can't you?) and it's not an eating disorder if it's girl dinner! it's not mania if it's girl math! what do you mean you blew all of your savings on nonrefundable plane tickets for a plane you didn't even end up taking. what do you mean that you are afraid of eating. get over it. they roll their little lips up into a sneer. can you not, like, trauma dump?

they love it on them they like to wear pieces of your suffering like jewels so that it hangs off their tongue in rapiers. they are allowed to arm-chair diagnose and cherrypick their poisons but you can't ever miss too many showers because that's, like, "fuckken gross?" so anyone mean is a narcissist. so anyone with visual tics is clearly faking it and is so cringe. but they get to scream and hit customer service employees because well, i got overwhelmed.

you keep seeing these posts about how people pleasers are "inherently manipulative" and how it's totally unfair behavior. but you are a people pleaser, you have an ingrained fawn response. in the comments, you have typed and deleted the words just because it is technically true does not make it an empathetic or kind reading of the reaction about one million times. it is technically accurate, after all. you think of catholic guilt, how sometimes you feel bad when doing a good deed because the sense of pride you get from acting kind - that pride is a sin. the word "manipulation" is not without bias or stigma attached to it. many people with the fawn response are direct victims of someone who was malignantly manipulative. calling the victims manipulative too is an unfair and unkind reading of the situation. it would be better and more empathetic to say it is safety-seeking or connection-seeking behavior. yes, it can be toxic. no, in general it is not intended to be toxic. there is no reason to make mentally ill people feel worse for what we undergo.

you type why is everyone so quick to turn on someone showing clear signs of trauma but you already know the fucking answer, so what's the point of bothering. you kind of hate those this is what anxiety looks like! infographics because at this point you're so good at white-knuckling through a severe panic attack that people just think you're stoic. even people who know the situation sometimes comment you just don't seem depressed. and you're not a 9 year old white kid so there's no way you're on the spectrum, you're not obsessed with trains and you were never a good mathematician. okay then.

mental illness is trending. in 2012 tumblr said don't romanticize our symptoms but to be fair tiktok didn't exist yet. there's these series of videos where someone pretends to be "the most boring person on earth" and is just being a normal fucking person, which makes your skin crawl, because that probably means you are boring. your friend reads aloud a profile from tinder - no depressed bitches i fucking hate that mental illness crap. your father says that medication never actually works.

you still haven't told your grandmother that you're in therapy. despite everything (and the fact it's helping): you just don't want her to see you differently.

[endlessmidnights]

I walk into a room and immediately think of all the potential ways to kill myself that exist there

[ningadudexx]

post this cat..... everywhere!!!!!!!!!!!

[alicornze7]

Silly guys goin' on silly adventures:]

@rorydrawsandwrites's puppeteer au but the only difference is that jax gives consent

My contribution to this wonderful au has been long overdue:')

Rambling in tags ehe (cw: ribbun:p)

Well maybe it's not the only difference

[soldrawss]

I am not immune to the Barbie meme

[iaminjail]

michael mell gets bullied by an evil supercomputer.png this is not a michael gets squipped au btw lol i just wanted to draw smth silly. anyways i love this guy forreel <3

cropped ver.

[vivid-vise]

tw: underäge, noncon, incest

oh to be suguru's daughter who he just raped and is now giving a bath to. such a kind dad, making sure his baby girl is all clean and comfortable after going through something so awful. you're still sniffling and crying, sure, but he's letting you play with your toys while he washes you and he uses your favorite bubble bath to soothe your tiny aching body. his heart aches when he has to bury his fingers into your poor abused cunt to scoop out the cum he pumped into you not even thirty minutes ago, making you cry harder. he doesn't like hurting his baby, really, but you're going to have to get used to this eventually because, feeling your little pussy tighten around his fingers again, he knows he won't be able to resist you the next time either.

[luigifan1998]

luigi x wife!reader headcanons. can be set before or after he went mia

right right right. married lu. throws myself on the floor

for the sake of length ill keep this to before he dropped off the face of the earth but ive written a memo to write about the after in a separate post soon

my personal biases might get in the way of this because i am unwell and genuinely think he is in desperate need of someone whos up at 3 am fighting a manifestation of their own hubris in their bed. he needs someone that experiences romantic delirium and is convinced her dreams tell her stories of the two of them from thousands of years ago. a girl thats considered showing up to a convent and who has a favorite saint. a rotten girl who wants to eat a piece of his birth certificate. this is so crucial to me unfortunately

that being said. its my belief that lu is saccharine, something he didnt know until you came along and peeled the wallpaper off his psyche. the way his customary sweetness unravels itself is sickly and all enveloping. hes the neediest boy in the world, forever coming to you with quiet infirmity. he drapes himself over you whenever he can, always saying how you were made to hold him. his incessant appetite for affection didnt ease with marriage. he plays with your ringed finger absentmindedly. presses his lips against it, not registering the habit

he would think of marriage early on in the relationship, unreachable to the anxious expressions of others when he'd say hes going to marry you weeks into dating. when he decided this, he paced back and forth in his bedroom, hardly able to focus long enough to tell the time before seeking his mom out to tell her. it all came out in one big prosaic wave. she thought he sounded like a child but his cheeks were flushed and his heart is so painfully stitched onto his sleeve in regards to you. he doesnt press the idea of the union but he likes to tell you how hes going to make you his wife during random moments. when youre eating. when you make him laugh. when hes fucking you

i can see lu trying and failing to preserve going all the way when you mess around once youve accepted his proposal. the engagement would be long. he is so busy and so wanted by everyone around him, but the novelty of you being his fiancé would wear off after the first couple of months. he wants to fuck his wife, not his girlfriend. he wants the sanctimony of marriage to wrap around the two of you when hes inside. the vow acts as a spectator in the bedroom, and he needs it. needs you to be his and only his under a holy decree. he calls you his bride and his little wife

in my heart of hearts....... i know lu would want to propose in the most cheesy way ever. his sister behind foliage, filming the whole thing. balloons. one knee. the rest of your family nearby. the video would be uploaded onto instagram, people you havent ever met commenting with what a beautiful couple the two of you make. but i think the right girl could pavlov him into asking in a whisper under the soft cotton of a bedsheet. face kisses and crying and pleading for the rest of your life to belong to him in some capacity. he cant live without this

the ring would be beautiful and heavy with weight and the diamond would be absurdly large. he'll never let onto the price, just like hes been doing with the checks at each restaurant youve been to together since your first date. bastard. whats next? steak tartare at the reception? he starts biting you each time you deny being able to accept such an insane piece of jewelry

[mikeyrrevenge]

[actually-mentally-ill]

“I can fix him!”

Him:

[icaruspendragon]

my husband and i started dating almost six years ago and our anniversary is coming up so i was looking through texts from when we first started seeing each other and jfk i'm just now realizing he was flirting with me and i simply did not realize that’s what was happening.

he'd say something like "aren’t you just the sweetest thing" and i'd respond with some shit like "that's nice of you to say. i have a deeply ingrained borderline pathological need to be liked and also to make other people happy so it's good to know i'm succeeding in that."

[pigswithwings]

but genuinely if you default to saying that random people and things have psychosis as an insult. you gotta change that. you have to think about why you say that. "this is psychotic" stop that shit. "these people are psychopaths" stop it. stop it what the hell. come on. real people have psychosis you think they aren't already associated with negative things? you think that helps anyone?

[painted-kneecaps]

In an alternate universe, Powder gets caught and left behind when Jayce’s lab explodes. Realizing that she will likely be shipped off to some dismal prison or orphanage, Jayce argues that keeping her around will lure back the real culprits of the attack- she’s just a child, after all, and nobody was really harmed- besides, somebody has to keep an eye on her, and they were his crystals. What’s the harm in letting her tag along?

In an alternate universe, Viktor notices her genius and takes her under his wing, consults her on his experiments and encourages her to undertake her own. She becomes an expected presence in their lab, tinkering away at her own projects and offering a fresh perspective when Jayce and Viktor get stuck.

In an alternate universe, they notice her despair and betrayal when her sister doesn’t come back for her. They notice when she breaks down, her grief and rage, the internal violence her mind wreaks on her, and they search for a cure. They get her help and medicine, and if need be, they talk her through her delusions with cool, scientific detachment, explaining what is going on in her brain until it doesn’t scare her anymore. If, in the process of helping her, they both begin to reconcile with their own self destructive tendencies- well, that’s just a convenient side effect.

In an alternate universe, she is understood and listened to and valued, and she is not a weapon or a tool or a jinx. She is respected for her brilliance, and her illness is acknowledged and not feared, and her genius is put toward progress and not violence. She never quite fits outside the lab- she is a Zaunite, after all, and she clings to that identity with teeth and claws- and though Jayce never quite understands, Viktor always defends her to him.

In an alternate universe, she builds Viktor braces and prosthetics and mobility aids as his condition declines, new and improved with every model. They tweak the designs together, and their witty banter as they work staves off the threat of impending mortality, just for a while. Hextech products begin to sport animal motifs, a phenomenon that neither Jayce nor Viktor feel the need to explain. Their lab is covered in graffiti, which they both complain about, but never actually discourage.

In an alternate universe, Vi finds her sister, and she is eccentric, but not broken. She is supported and cared for and hailed as the protege of the two most brilliant scientists alive. She is angry and confused and betrayed, yes- but she is not alone, and she is not afraid.

And they can work with that.