#let me be mentally ill

[ladycatashtrophe]

"Wow, you're so self-aware! It takes most people years of therapy and dedication to get to that point." Thanks, I constantly feel completely disconnected from my physical being and the material sensation of my body, brain, and spirit/soul is so overwhelming that I often have to see myself as an objective third-party instead of an integrated entity. Father son holy spirit and all that.

[actually-mentally-ill]

sorry, did you say,

“toxic, dangerous, sexy af and could probably kill me at any given moment if they wanted”?

…

[inkskinned]

they want to talk about mental illness and acceptance and how everyone is a little ocd it's cute and quirky and their "intrusive thoughts" are about cutting their hair off and you say yours are about taking a razorblade to your eye and they say ew can you not and everyone is a little adhd sometimes! except if you're late it's a personality flaw and it's because you are careless and cruel (and someone else with adhd mentions they can be on time, so why can't you?) and it's not an eating disorder if it's girl dinner! it's not mania if it's girl math! what do you mean you blew all of your savings on nonrefundable plane tickets for a plane you didn't even end up taking. what do you mean that you are afraid of eating. get over it. they roll their little lips up into a sneer. can you not, like, trauma dump?

they love it on them they like to wear pieces of your suffering like jewels so that it hangs off their tongue in rapiers. they are allowed to arm-chair diagnose and cherrypick their poisons but you can't ever miss too many showers because that's, like, "fuckken gross?" so anyone mean is a narcissist. so anyone with visual tics is clearly faking it and is so cringe. but they get to scream and hit customer service employees because well, i got overwhelmed.

you keep seeing these posts about how people pleasers are "inherently manipulative" and how it's totally unfair behavior. but you are a people pleaser, you have an ingrained fawn response. in the comments, you have typed and deleted the words just because it is technically true does not make it an empathetic or kind reading of the reaction about one million times. it is technically accurate, after all. you think of catholic guilt, how sometimes you feel bad when doing a good deed because the sense of pride you get from acting kind - that pride is a sin. the word "manipulation" is not without bias or stigma attached to it. many people with the fawn response are direct victims of someone who was malignantly manipulative. calling the victims manipulative too is an unfair and unkind reading of the situation. it would be better and more empathetic to say it is safety-seeking or connection-seeking behavior. yes, it can be toxic. no, in general it is not intended to be toxic. there is no reason to make mentally ill people feel worse for what we undergo.

you type why is everyone so quick to turn on someone showing clear signs of trauma but you already know the fucking answer, so what's the point of bothering. you kind of hate those this is what anxiety looks like! infographics because at this point you're so good at white-knuckling through a severe panic attack that people just think you're stoic. even people who know the situation sometimes comment you just don't seem depressed. and you're not a 9 year old white kid so there's no way you're on the spectrum, you're not obsessed with trains and you were never a good mathematician. okay then.

mental illness is trending. in 2012 tumblr said don't romanticize our symptoms but to be fair tiktok didn't exist yet. there's these series of videos where someone pretends to be "the most boring person on earth" and is just being a normal fucking person, which makes your skin crawl, because that probably means you are boring. your friend reads aloud a profile from tinder - no depressed bitches i fucking hate that mental illness crap. your father says that medication never actually works.

you still haven't told your grandmother that you're in therapy. despite everything (and the fact it's helping): you just don't want her to see you differently.

[endlessmidnights]

I walk into a room and immediately think of all the potential ways to kill myself that exist there

[alicornze7]

Silly guys goin' on silly adventures:]

@rorydrawsandwrites's puppeteer au but the only difference is that jax gives consent

My contribution to this wonderful au has been long overdue:')

Rambling in tags ehe (cw: ribbun:p)

Well maybe it's not the only difference

[irarann]

i was searching up shadow milks sprites on the wiki (for reference) and i found something interesting

when the eye is closed, its the eye of truth. when opened, its deceit meaning that you are opening your eyes to deceit, which is opposite to the more usually referenced "open your eyes to the truth" idiom but it can also imply that the truth is only your truth until you open your eyes to all the lies that surrounds you. the truth is a lie, a sweet and white lie, but still a lie. and also, who usually keeps their eyes closed?

yeah. now, who recently was awoken to the lies that surrounded him? ill let you figure that out.

[soldrawss]

I am not immune to the Barbie meme

[iaminjail]

michael mell gets bullied by an evil supercomputer.png this is not a michael gets squipped au btw lol i just wanted to draw smth silly. anyways i love this guy forreel <3

cropped ver.

[mikeyrrevenge]

[icaruspendragon]

my husband and i started dating almost six years ago and our anniversary is coming up so i was looking through texts from when we first started seeing each other and jfk i'm just now realizing he was flirting with me and i simply did not realize that’s what was happening.

he'd say something like "aren’t you just the sweetest thing" and i'd respond with some shit like "that's nice of you to say. i have a deeply ingrained borderline pathological need to be liked and also to make other people happy so it's good to know i'm succeeding in that."

[pigswithwings]

but genuinely if you default to saying that random people and things have psychosis as an insult. you gotta change that. you have to think about why you say that. "this is psychotic" stop that shit. "these people are psychopaths" stop it. stop it what the hell. come on. real people have psychosis you think they aren't already associated with negative things? you think that helps anyone?

[actually-mentally-ill]

“I can fix him!”

Him:

[actual-changeling]

the undercover mission in arcadia only lasting a few days is a criminal waste of potential. lock them in those suburbs together for a month MINIMUM. slowly infiltrating the community and gathering information while trying to not go insane with the way they're Not Talking to each other.

they sleep in the same bed, share meals, spend most of their time together doing research and working on other cases—but do they talk? really talk? about the tension and the awkwardness and the way she still flinches whenever he touches her even with warning? or about the fact that no matter how hard he tries, mulder can't help but linger in her space?

it's torture, it's being locked in the basement office with him, it's watching through a glass door as diana takes his hand and smiles. it's mulder's voice saying words she cannot erase from her memory, fibreglass stuck in her capillaries.

long days of silence followed by even longer sleepless nights. scully refuses to give in and move to the guest room so whenever the dreams get to her, she's stuck in the bathroom relearning how to breathe.

despite everything, though, he's still mulder. she watches him—sunflower seeds, shitty movies, shittier jokes, a spark of warmth in his eyes—and sees him again, not a mask of apathy, and the part that misses him begins urging her back into his orbit.

neither of them ever consciously makes the decision to slowly tear down their walls and yet it happens day by day, week by week. old habits seeping through the cracks.

the first time she wears one of his sweatshirts it takes her two hours to notice and then she cannot bring herself to take it off—she's cold, that's all, she tells herself (he never asks, she never tells). mulder's hand lands on her lower back more and more frequently, and she stops flinching, allowing him to touch, to lead, to shield her from prying eyes like he's always done. he's her partner, unwavering and determined and soft.

he never forgot how she likes her coffee, that she reads the newspaper out of order, that she needs a glass of wine and a long, hot bath at least twice a week. patient and attentive and the friend she's been aching for.

it scares her shitless whenever he manages to make her laugh, the sound having become oddly foreign to her own ears. scully's afraid of the air vibrating in her lungs and the lightness in her head, the way she can forget about everything for a moment. the anger doesn't disappear but it makes space for familiar fondness and the warmth radiating off of him whenever she stands too close to him which is more often than not.

eventually, they talk. awkwardly, slowly, with her voice raised and his eyes trained on her as he listens to every word. there are apologies spoken for things she's already forgiven him for but she needs to hear them anyway. the first time she seeks out his embrace they both cry; something breaks open and finally gets a chance to heal.

they pretend to be in love day after day until it starts feeling like the truth again. until they can finally stop pretending, one way or another.

[suhnshinehaos]

my heart dropped when i read the statement that sm put out re: taeil, genuinely the last thing i expected to read today. i’m shocked, disappointed, but most of all- i’m angry.

angry at what he’s done, angry at seeing some fans defend him, angry at those turning this into a gotcha moment to promote or lift their faves up. please, this isn’t just some discussion on the internet- there is a very real victim, a very real woman at the heart of all this. i hope she gets the justice and healing she deserves.

[daily-linkclick]

saw this in the comments of kdj's wiki and i haven't stopped laughing. its so true

[ID: Comments on a wiki page which read:

Coconuthamster: Who is this and why do people thirst over him so much

Hachnk: It is not even thirst he is just jesus for the mentally ill

Coconuthamster: Oh?? End ID]

[painted-kneecaps]

In an alternate universe, Powder gets caught and left behind when Jayce’s lab explodes. Realizing that she will likely be shipped off to some dismal prison or orphanage, Jayce argues that keeping her around will lure back the real culprits of the attack- she’s just a child, after all, and nobody was really harmed- besides, somebody has to keep an eye on her, and they were his crystals. What’s the harm in letting her tag along?

In an alternate universe, Viktor notices her genius and takes her under his wing, consults her on his experiments and encourages her to undertake her own. She becomes an expected presence in their lab, tinkering away at her own projects and offering a fresh perspective when Jayce and Viktor get stuck.

In an alternate universe, they notice her despair and betrayal when her sister doesn’t come back for her. They notice when she breaks down, her grief and rage, the internal violence her mind wreaks on her, and they search for a cure. They get her help and medicine, and if need be, they talk her through her delusions with cool, scientific detachment, explaining what is going on in her brain until it doesn’t scare her anymore. If, in the process of helping her, they both begin to reconcile with their own self destructive tendencies- well, that’s just a convenient side effect.

In an alternate universe, she is understood and listened to and valued, and she is not a weapon or a tool or a jinx. She is respected for her brilliance, and her illness is acknowledged and not feared, and her genius is put toward progress and not violence. She never quite fits outside the lab- she is a Zaunite, after all, and she clings to that identity with teeth and claws- and though Jayce never quite understands, Viktor always defends her to him.

In an alternate universe, she builds Viktor braces and prosthetics and mobility aids as his condition declines, new and improved with every model. They tweak the designs together, and their witty banter as they work staves off the threat of impending mortality, just for a while. Hextech products begin to sport animal motifs, a phenomenon that neither Jayce nor Viktor feel the need to explain. Their lab is covered in graffiti, which they both complain about, but never actually discourage.

In an alternate universe, Vi finds her sister, and she is eccentric, but not broken. She is supported and cared for and hailed as the protege of the two most brilliant scientists alive. She is angry and confused and betrayed, yes- but she is not alone, and she is not afraid.

And they can work with that.