#lenny crumb

[thedailybullshit]

RDR2 Incorrect Quotes pt. 34

Arthur: You’re acting like a child, John.

John: I AIN’T ACTING.

1886:

Dutch: I mean, small animals are way more vicious. It’s because their anger has less space to be contained.

Susan: That’s ridiculous. Give me one example of this.

Dutch: Wasps.

Bessie: Spiders.

Hosea: Terriers.

Arthur: John.

John:

After The Kiss:

Arthur: If you do that again, I will not hesitate to throw you out that windo- what are you doing?

Charles Chatenay: Checking how high the drop is to see if it’s worth it.

Sean: If tomatoes are fruits, isn’t ketchup just a tomato smoothie?

Lenny: It’s jam, I love you but I���m too tired for this shit, please go back to sleep.

Annabelle: All the haters being like, “Aren’t you wanted by the state?” It’s like, I’m wanted by a lot of people, okay? That’s the price of being pretty.

Annabelle: Anyways, I did commit a smidge of treason.

Abigail: *handing Arthur a coffee* Remember: more espresso, less depresso.

Arthur: *drinks it*

Arthur: I’m still depressed, but now I’m FAST.

Abigail: Are you ready to commit?

John: Like a crime or to a relationship?

Sean: I’m a hundred and forty-seven pounds of pale skin and fragile bone, okay? Sarcasm is my only defense!

Hosea: I’m Hosea Motherfucking Matthews, I fear nothing.

Dutch: I have a plan!

Hosea: I have one fear.

Bounty Hunter: I’ll put so many bullets in your head, God won’t even recognize you.

Arthur: I’m an atheist; fire at will.

[sushisocks]

cmon you cant just say how queercoded sean is and then not expand on itผ(•̀_•́ผ)

/lh

My need to constantly talk about Sean MacGuire is really being indulged lately jnhbvbjnbh Thank u dear anon <3

oKAY so like, anon, I will be the FIRST to admit that me calling Sean queercoded might've been a strong choice of words all things considered (especially compared to ACTUALLY explicitly gay Bill Williamson which could go for queercoding considering it's only really explicit if you look for it or catch it). I read Sean as queer in a lot of ways, and that is probably in no small part because I'm queer myself. BUT in my defense, what am I supposed to take away from the developers cuffing Sean's jeans like that?? His queer little swagger???? The outfit with that haircut?????? That is a BISEXUAL MAN if I've ever seen one!!!

^me rn fr (always, about Sean and Lenny in particular. My gay Lenny headcanon is a lot more solid though, I'll be frank, and I'm honestly waiting to go the fuck off about it properly here some day lmao)

On a more serious note though, I definitely think Sean's admiration for Arthur can be read as a little bit of a crush in certain instances. Not that I particularly ship that pairing, but certain ways Sean responds to Arthur has always had me 🤔🤔 For example (and I'm really gonna out myself and how often i rewatch his missions here) in pouring forth oil, when Arthur gets mad forreal for a sec and threatens Sean (after Sean has a tantrum abt not being invited along which.... come on), and Sean laughs, there is DEFINITELY a crush-related way of reading that interaction & Sean's response. Not to mention the lil lookover Sean gives him I mean COME ON he's not even that subtle!

Not to speak of the fact that the first thing he does after being rescued from bounty hunters is ask Arthur for a hug - how many of yall Arthur Morgan horny ppl wouldn't die to do the same? Sean was ahead of the game. He's one of you, I swear.

I think Sean being queer makes sense with his personality too, as the sort of laid-back and easy-going one. Though I also think, given the time and the fact that I think he's bi, it's probably not smth he's ever thought very hard about? You know, heteronormativity etc etc, him and Karen having their messy thing going on etc etc, but Sean WOULD kiss a homie and not really have a problem with it. He'd just -- not think about it much harder, you know?

It's that same attitude he has, which leads me to believing if given the chance he'd be very gnc. I know I've said it before but I do headcanon that modern au Sean would def fuck around with skirts and makeup and nailpolish, and have a very loose relationship with his gender as a man at best. It makes sense to me, for someone who is both that easygoing, and has that sense of interest in societal issues, to at some point have the realization of 'oh gender roles are made up' and act accordingly, you know?

And then I'm also taken with, and sort of speaking from, this sort of perspective of the gang at large as very queer. Speaking of it in that academic way, as a sort of rejection of normative society - heteronormative society in particular - there's absolutely an inherent queerness to this entire gang of outlaws doing as they will. When being queer has always meant being ostracized from society, it is easy to read characters ostracized from society as queer; in this way, and in my opinion, the queercoding is inherent to this game, and these characters. It's there at the very foundation of their situation and way of living, and it's why I personally am never going to argue against any type of queer headcanon (and why I'm a proponent of many of them myself lol). Me seeing queerness in Sean and Lenny, is no different from me seeing it in Arthur and Charles, or Sadie and Karen, or Hosea and Dutch, or literally ANY other gangmember.

I feel like I went on a tangent here, again, as I am prone to do, BUT my main point is: Sean MacGuire is so so queer bcz I said so, and becuase why the fuck else would he be like that?

[slaymitchabernathy]

The Nanny

“Looks like you survived the first day.”

Soarynn can only nod and blink while she follows Eudora through more hallways of the Mansion. She had gone straight to bed last night after she got home, too tired to do anything else.

But this morning she made sure to wake up with enough time to shower, style her hair and prepare for another long day of running after the children. She had thought of maybe taking them to the zoo, but she supposed it was up to their father at the end of the day.

As Eudora had mentioned, the children didn’t do as much as they used to after their mother died. He probably didn’t want to risk losing them in some freak accident and Soarynn certainly didn’t want to be the cause of something like that.

“Now breakfast is very important,” Eudora tells her, “this is the only time that the children get to see their father so it’s imperative that you and I say nothing unless spoken to. We’ll go over our schedules for the day, but other than that, zip it.” She turns to Soarynn and mimics throwing away an imaginary key and Soarynn presses her lips into a thin line, earning her a smile from Eudora, “Good! Coriolanus usually arrives a few minutes after the children so they can get started on breakfast early.”

Soarynn follows her down a few more hallways until she can hear the familiar giggles of the children. “I could’ve woken them up,” she mumbles, feeling bad that someone—most likely Eudora—had to do it.

Eudora waves her off, “You can wake them up for the rest of your employment dear, don’t you worry.”

They walk into a beautifully decorated dining room, with floor to ceiling windows and mahogany finishings. It’s one of the most beautiful and expensive rooms Soarynn has ever been in so it makes sense for this to be the room the Snows only eat breakfast in.

Why have every meal in the same room when you have twenty more?

All three children are seated at the table but they’re running the second they see her and Eudora.

“Soarynn! Soarynn you came back!” Ceraphina shrieks, throwing her arms around Soarynn’s legs.

Soarynn chuckles and runs a loving hand through Ceraphina’s hair, looking down into her blue-gray eyes, “I promised I’d stick around didn’t I?”

Celeste comes up behind her sister, simply taking Soarynn’s hand instead, “Well people lie,” she tells her matter of factly.

She’s got a point.

“Daddy says to never lie,” Ceraphina continues, “lying is bad and it breaks trust because Daddy says so.” Celeste nods in agreement, “Mhm. No lying allowed.”

These girls seem to cling to every word their father says, so she’ll have to watch what she says as well. “Lying can be very hurtful,” Soarynn agrees, trying to steer the conversation in any other direction, “now why don’t we eat this delicious breakfast?”

She’s met with zero complaints and they all make their way over to the table where Caspian is watching them with sleepy eyes, Lenny nearly falling from his grasp. Soarynn chuckles, readjusting Lenny so that he doesn’t take a tumble onto the floor, “Good morning Caspian. Did you sleep well?”

Caspian mumbles something she can’t quite understand but he reaches out for her and Soarynn gladly pulls him into her lap.

Breakfast today is an assortment of pastries, eggs cooked in every possible way, fruits, and juices. The girls seem to only be eating the pastries, the croissants, and doughnuts whereas Eudora and Soarynn help themselves to some eggs and fruits.

“Is Daddy going to be home tonight for dinner?” Ceraphina asks, a few crumbs falling from her mouth as she finishes her croissant. Eudora shakes her head, reaching out to dab the corners of Ceraphina’s mouth with a napkin, “Don’t talk with food in your mouth dear. And no, your father has a very important meeting tonight. Soarynn will eat dinner with you.”

Soarynn offers Ceraphina a smile but she’s met with a pout, “Daddy never has dinner with us anymore,” she grumbles.

Before Soarynn or Eudora can say anything to prove that statement to be incorrect, a stern, authoritative voice fills the room. “What’s this about me not eating dinner with my girls?”

Both Ceraphina and Celeste gasp, turning to look over their chairs at their father making his way into the room. He looks very handsome today, wearing a charcoal gray suit with his curls slicked back. He looks like he just happened to stop by for breakfast. Soarynn wonders if this is a part of his schedule.

6:00 A.M. - Wake Up

8:00 A.M. - Breakfast with the children

8:45 A.M. - Start running the country

Soarynn wouldn’t be surprised if he had to schedule every little interaction just to stay on top of things.

Both girls are out of their seats again, running over to their father who bends down on one knee to be at eye level with them. Soarynn looks down at Caspian to see if he also wants to go greet his father, but he seems quite content in her lap, mindlessly chewing on a croissant.

"Daddy, can we please have dinner with you tonight? Please, please, please, we'll be so well-behaved," Ceraphina promises, getting Celeste to nod along with her, "Yes, we'll be so quiet," Celeste adds.

President Snow gives his girls a small smile, reaching out to brush some of Ceraphina's hair out from her face, "I'm afraid not my darlings, this dinner is strictly business. You know the rules."

The girls must not be big fans of these rules because they both slouch, and Soarynn can see Celeste is on the verge of tears which he's quick to interfere with, "No need for tears Celeste," he tells her, his thumb wiping away at her eyes, "we still get to have breakfast together, don't we?"

Celeste shoves his hand away, stomping her little foot for good measure, "But you always had dinner with us! When Mommy was alive, you always had din-"

"Mommy isn't here anymore," he cuts her off, his voice more stern than it was before as he takes her small hands into his big ones, "but if she were here, what would she say? What would she want you to do for her?"

Ceraphina perks up, raising her hand as if she's in class, "Oh I know! I know Daddy!" President Snow nods, his focus still on his youngest daughter, "I know you do sweetheart, and so does your sister, right?" He uses one hand to give her a gentle squeeze, making Celeste crack a small smile, "She'd want me to be on my best behavior," she says slowly, rocking back and forth on her heels, "...and to listen to you."

"Mhm. And I know you can do that for me, darling."

It's a sweet sight to watch the President of Panem get down on one knee to talk to his daughters, to watch him wipe their tears and give them a hug. Soarynn had wondered how involved he really was with his children's lives, but it seems that he knows them well enough to know what to say when things went south.

With no more tears threatening breakfast, the girls make their way back to the table, hand in hand with their father. Eudora doesn't even look up from the binder she brought, flipping through several pages of what Soarynn can only guess is his schedule.

Soarynn expects President Snow to take his seat but he walks around to her side which would make her nervous if it weren't for his youngest child sitting in her lap. She hopes that's alright, that Caspian won't get in trouble for sitting in her lap instead of his own chair. He's just so small and sweet, it's hard to say no to him.

President Snow doesn't even acknowledge her when he comes to a stop next to her, the scent of roses overwhelming her while he places a loving hand on Caspian's head, "Good morning Caspian."

Soarynn swallows at how deep President Snow's voice sounds in the morning. Caspian looks up at his father, piercing blue eyes meeting piercing blue eyes, "Lenny."

"Yes, I see you brought Lenny to breakfast...again. Imagine my surprise."

Caspian looks back down at his food, "Lenny," he mumbles, pulling at his croissant some more.

Soarynn keeps her head down, watching from her peripheral vision to see when President Snow finally sits down. He's seated between the girls which is probably for the best, both girls can get equal amounts of attention this way.

"Girls, you need to eat some eggs," he tells them, reaching for some fruits for himself. Ceraphina groans, slumping in her chair, "Eggs are gross." This earns her a sharp look from her father, "I'm sure people in the Districts would love eggs," he counters, grabbing the dish of scrambled eggs, "and eggs will help you grow to be proper ladies."

Ceraphina looks across the table at Soarynn, her eyes narrowing, "Do you eat eggs Soarynn?"

All eyes are on her now and Soarynn nervously brushes some of her hair out from her face, "I do," she answers, "a balanced meal is necessary to stay healthy." That wasn't the answer Ceraphina was looking for.

President Snow grunts and places some scrambled eggs on both girl's plates, "See? Now eat your eggs please."

There are worse things to eat but the girls don't push back any further, slowly but surely eating their eggs, even if they make very dramatic faces while doing so. President Snow shakes his head and looks over at Eudora, "What's my day looking like Eudora?"

Soarynn wonders how Eudora got this job, was she some event coordinator prior to landing this job? Or do all the Trinkets plan out the President's day?

"You have a meeting right after breakfast, then you have an interview with the Gazette, and after that, you have a phone call with the Mayors from Two, Four, and Six. Then after that..."

Soarynn tunes out the rest of the schedule, focusing on keeping most of Caspian's breakfast on his plate and not on the floor, "Soarynn, what're we doing today?" Celeste's question makes her a bit nervous, she had thought about the zoo, but another day in the house doesn't sound too bad now that her boss is sitting across from her.

Soarynn swallows, "I thought...I thought we might go to the zoo," she says softly, "but it might be too busy today."

The girls don't even listen to the last part, they're already gasping and squealing and grabbing their father by the arm, "Daddy! Daddy, can we go to the zoo with Soarynn? Please can we go?"

President Snow's piercing gaze finally lands on Soarynn and he looks nothing like the man she encountered last night. No, he looks like the man who asked about her dead father and then warned her to not act like the children's mother.

Soarynn feels so very small in her chair.

"I want to see the tigers," Celeste says, tugging on his sleeve, "and the birds, and the monkeys."

President Snow sighs, rubbing his temples, "It'll be hot today," he says, more to Soarynn than to his children, "but I suppose a trip to the zoo would be nice."

Soarynn lets out a small sigh of relief while the girls celebrate, cheering and promising to eat all of their eggs. President Snow says a few things to Eudora about extra security measures and clearing out the entire zoo before he starts asking the girls about what they did yesterday.

Soarynn heeds Eudora's words, staying out of the conversation and simply helping when needed. Caspian gets fussy after a while, wanting to be held by his father which is an adorable sight. He really is a miniature version of his father.

"Momma," Caspian says, looking up at his father expectantly.

President Snow shakes his head, a small smile on his lips while he fixes Caspian's bedhead, "She's not here anymore Cas. No more Momma."

Soarynn feels her heart breaking a little bit more for these children who so desperately miss their mother.

"Mommy's in the ground, remember Cas?" Ceraphina reminds him, poking at what remains of her breakfast, "Daddy says we can go put flowers on her grave soon."

Soarynn looks over at Eudora who's wearing a sad expression, perhaps she was close to Livia before she passed.

"Yes," their father finally says, "we can go put flowers on Mommy's grave soon."

꧁ ꧂

Soarynn never knew that a single child could possess so many clothes.

She spins around in Ceraphina's closet, in absolute awe at how many dresses she has. A normal four-year-old would have a normal amount of clothes, but Ceraphina Snow is not a normal child.

"Ceraphina darling, what do you want to wear today?" Soarynn calls, wondering if Ceraphina can ever hear her from all the way inside her closet. After breakfast Soarynn and the children made their way upstairs to get them properly dressed for their outing to the zoo.

She had left all three children in Ceraphina's bedroom, figuring it would be easier to dress them individually but they might want to pick out their own clothes. But she hears small footsteps a second later and looks down to find Ceraphina staring up at her, a smile on her cute face, "You called?"

Soarynn nods, "I did. What do you want to wear today? It will be hot like your father said." Ceraphina hums, spinning around her massive closet, her fingertips grazing several dresses until she stops on a pink dress, "This one! Except, you have to tie the bow in the back," she explains.

Soarynn pulls it off the rack to find that there is a small box that ties in the back, making it a very cute dress. "It's perfect," she tells the child, "and we can put a bow in your hair too."

Ceraphina gasps, not even thinking about her hair until now, "Will you braid my hair again? And Celeste's too?" Soarynn smiles and nods, it's so sweet how the girls always make sure to include one another.

Soarynn helps Ceraphina get dressed, making sure to tie the perfect bow, which earns her an excited squeal from Ceraphina, "Oh, it's so pretty!"

Soarynn wonders what the children's routine was with their last nanny. Did she let them pick out their clothes? Did she take them to the zoo?

But she doesn't think about it any longer, not when she's got to get Caspian and Celeste ready as well, "You look very fancy," Soarynn tells her, "like a true proper Capitol lady."

Her words must mean more than she thought to Ceraphina who's practically beaming, "Thank you!"

Soarynn hums, leading them back into the bathroom which is as massive as the closet. Soarynn sits Ceraphina up on the counter, and grabs a hairbrush, "You want me to braid it again?"

"Yes please."

Easy enough. Soarynn grew up braiding everyone's hair, it was the thing for girls to do. She and her friends would practice different styles on one another, all thinking about a future where they could have the chance to style their daughter's hair.

Ceraphina isn't her daughter though.

And she'd do well to remember that.

꧁ ꧂

Soarynn feels a little bit nervous stepping out with all three Snow children.

Getting them out of the house hadn't been too difficult, she thought their father might come say goodbye but he was nowhere to be seen after breakfast. The car ride was short which she was grateful for since both girls wanted to do everything but sit down and sit still.

At least Caspian sat still.

The August heat beats down on the small group as they make their way towards the zoo's entrance. Soarynn can't remember the last time she went to the zoo, she was probably around Ceraphina's age. As she got older, animals were replaced by catalogs and lipsticks.

Taking care of children means reliving the best parts of her childhood, the parts she got to spend with her father.

They're escorted by a group of Peacekeepers, clearing out the entire area for them. Soarynn barely sees anyone else at the zoo now that she thinks about it. Did President Snow close it down for them? She wouldn't put it past him.

"Look at the flamingos!" Soarynn watches the girls run over to the first enclosure, a small lake with beautiful pink birds wading in the water. Caspian is taking small, slow steps alongside her, looking around the zoo, "Lenny," he says, a small pout on his face.

Soarynn sighs, "I'm sorry darling, but Lenny might get lost if we bring him here. He's safe and sound back in your room."

Caspian shakes his head, "Lenny."

Soarynn had decided against bringing his precious stuffed animal to the zoo for the main purpose of keeping him safe. She didn't need him to fall into the wrong enclosure and go missing.

They finally reach the flamingos and she picks him up so that he can see better, "Look at the flamingos Cas," Ceraphina says, standing on her tiptoes, "they're so pink!"

Celeste tilts her head while watching the birds, "Why are they pink Soarynn? Did someone dye their feathers?"

Soarynn chuckles and shakes her head, what a sweet way to think of the flamingos, "No darling. I think it's what they eat that makes them pink." Celeste's eyes widen and she watches one of the birds flap its wings, "If I eat pink food will I turn pink?"

"You might feel sick, but you won't turn pink," Soarynn tells her, "why don't we go look at the monkeys?"

꧁ ꧂

They spend a good chunk of their afternoon running around the zoo.

Besides the workers, Soarynn doesn't see a single patron which further confirms that President Snow has seen to it that no one will disturb his children today.

The children loved watching the monkeys, especially since they're so similar to humans. Caspian was elated to see an actual lion, even if this one was sleeping the entire time they watched him. Caspian kept roaring at the lion, hoping to get a response. It did get the girls to giggle, Soarynn didn't know he could be so loud but anyone nearby could hear him.

Then they moved onto the aviary where they were all given sticks with birdseed stuck to them. If they stood still enough, a bird might land on the stick. The girls moved around far too much for a bird to even consider landing on their sticks, but Caspian actually managed to get one bird's attention.

Everyone gasped when the small wren landed on his stick, pecking at the birdseed. "That's a bird Caspian," Soarynn had whispered, watching Caspian's face of delight while the bird continued to peck at the seeds. "Bird," Caspian had repeated, eyes wide with amazement.

As the day dwindled down, they found themselves in the zoo's gift shop, which must be new because Soarynn knew for certain that it wasn't around when she was a little girl.

"Can we please get a stuffed animal?" Ceraphina asks, tugging on the dress Soarynn chose to wear today, giving her pleading eyes, "Just one stuffed animal, please?"

Soarynn wants to remind her that they've got an entire collection waiting at home, but she can see Celeste eyeing a stuffed bear already like she owns it. Whoever designed the gift shop to be right next to the exit must hate parents because this is a recipe for disaster.

Soarynn cards her fingers through her hair, "I don't think so darling. We'd have to pay for the stuffed ani-"

"It's free of charge," a worker interjects, flashing them a Capitol smile, "President Snow insists. Pick whatever you like."

Well, that's the greenlight Soarynn didn't need because the children go nuts, grabbing everything in sight. They won't be able to fit into the car at this rate. "Girls," Soarynn says sternly, "you each can pick out one stuffed animal, alright?"

Cerapina huffs, putting her hands on her hips, "Well Daddy said th-"

"Well, I am saying that you can only choose one," Soarynn cuts her off, "it's not fair to the other children who visit the zoo if you take everything. We have to think of others and share."

They're at a standstill, Caspian and Celeste watching as Ceraphina and Soarynn battle it out. But Soarynn is a grown-up, and she's not backing down.

"Or you don't have to pick anything," she says sweetly, "we can just go home if you'd like."

Celeste gasps and grabs her sister's hand, "If you want to leave with nothing you can. But I am leaving with a stuffed animal." Her little sister's words seem to knock some sense into Ceraphina who slowly nods, "Okay, one stuffed animal," she agrees, running off with Celeste to grab something.

Soarynn lets out a sigh of relief. She doesn't want to come off as strict or mean, but she has to earn the children's respect and that means not backing down on certain things such as how many stuffed animals are too many.

"What do you want to get Caspian?" She asks, bouncing him on her hip. She tried to let him down several times today but he's clung onto her every time, wanting to be carried. Who is she to deny him?

Caspian points at a display of different bird stuffed animals, "Bird."

Soarynn smiles, "Excellent choice."

꧁ ꧂

"Hold my hand while we walk to the car please," Soarynn says, reaching out for Celeste's hand. Coming into the zoo, the streets were empty, but a crowd has grown since they went in and it's making Soarynn nervous. She knows they're safe, protected by Peacekeepers but she's still nervous.

Celeste gives her a curious look but obliges to her request, taking her large hand into her smaller one, offering her other hand to Ceraphina, "We've got to stick together," she tells her sister. Ceraphina nods, her blue-gray eyes scanning the crowd, "Snows stick together."

Soarynn guides them towards the car, doing her best to ignore all the shouts that are thrown her way. None of them are mean, everyone seems to be excited to see the President's children out and about after so long. Many people call out the girl's names, a few even waving. Soarynn spots a familiar face, Lucky Flickerman with his camera crew, commentating on the entire spectacle this has become.

Soarynn swallows and tugs the girls along quicker, desperate to get inside the car, "Come on, time to go home," she urges, helping them climb into the back of the car. Soaynn slides in last with Caspian still in her hold, slamming the door shut and letting out a breath of relief when the car immediately starts moving.

"Were you scared?"

Soarynn looks over at Celeste who's playing with her new stuffed bear, the same one she was eyeing earlier, "I was," she admits, "I'm not used to that many people watching me."

Celeste gives her a smile, kicking her feet as they dangle off the car seat, "Don't be scared, Daddy always protects us."

Ceraphina hums in agreement, playing with the stuffed horse she picked out, "People always take pictures of us. Daddy says it's because we're very important."

"You are very important," Soarynn agrees, knowing that sentiment doesn't apply to her as well. She's just a nanny.

Just a nanny.

꧁ ꧂

The Mansion is quiet when they return although Soarynn doubts that it's ever truly busy. The girls run ahead to the dining room where lunch is waiting for them, giggling and playing with their new stuffed animals along the way.

"Lenny," Caspian mumbles, burying his face in the crook of Soarynn's neck. He should probably be put down for a nap. "Alright," she decides, "we'll go upstairs so you can take a nap with Lenny, how does that sound?" He must be so tired after such a busy day.

Soarynn opts to take the back staircase since it's closer, carefully climbing all the steps. She's almost at the top when she hears the familiar voice of President Snow, looking up to find him and another man climbing down the same steps.

For a moment, she's frozen. Not knowing what to do or how to act.

Caspian thinks for her, perking up when his father comes into view and he holds out his new stuffed animal, "Bird."

Soarynn steps to the side so the men can pass, keeping her head down when they pass. "Bird," Caspian repeats when his father passes by, earning him a small nod before he continues down the stairs. Soarynn smooths Caspian's hair down, both of them watching his father disappear down the stairway, "Let's get you in bed mister," she whispers, climbing the last few steps.

She can't shake that feeling while she tucks Caspian into his crib after changing him into some pajamas. President Snow hadn't even really looked at her and yet she felt frozen, in trouble, nervous.

Will she always feel this way around her employer?

꧁ ꧂

The zoo mixed with the August heat took a toll on the Snow children today. Both girls are slumped over on a sofa while Soarynn and Caspian sit on an armchair, the television playing softly in front of them.

They're in that strange period between lunch and dinner where taking a nap sounds like the best idea ever. Ceraphina perks up when a cat appears in a commercial for cat food, its brown fur looks so soft. "Do you have any pets?" She asks Soarynn, playing with the hem of her dress. A few stray curls have come loose from her braid throughout the day but Soarynn can always slick them back down if need be.

"I do," Soarynn nods, "a white cat named Petunia."

This is big, exciting news apparently.

Both girls are all over her in seconds, asking all sorts of questions.

"How old is she?"

"Is she nice?"

"Does she smell bad?"

"Does she meow a lot?"

"Can she do tricks?"

Soarynn is blown away by all their questions and motions for them to sit down on the floor so they don't crowd Caspian who nearly got smothered, "Petunia is five years old, she's very sweet, and no, she doesn't smell bad since I give her lots of baths. She has a bit of a loud personality, so she meows on occasion, but she's also a bit of a diva so she doesn't know any tricks."

Soarynn was gifted Petunia by her father for her birthday and she became her most prized possession. She knows Petunia is at home right now, passed out on top of her pillow without a care in the world.

Heaven forbid that cat ever have to fend for herself.

"Daddy won't let us get a cat," Celeste pouts, "or any pet. He says they're too messy." Petunia is a rather clean cat but Soarynn is sure that there are messier animals out there. "I'm sure he has his reasons," Soarynn tells her, doing her best to defend the President when he's not here to do it himself, "and pets are a lot of responsibility."

Lucky Flickerman's television show finally comes back on the screen and Soarynn can't believe her eyes. It's her. Her and the children at the zoo.

"Today we had a rare sighting at the zoo today folks and no, it wasn't an animal that we saw!" Lucky draws some chuckles from the crowd before continuing, "We caught a rare glimpse of the Presidential family out and about, enjoying the zoo on this bright sunny day, accompanied by who must be their new nanny. Looks like she could be their mother!"

Soarynn is mortified.

This is exactly what she gets for trying to do something different. She should've just stayed within the safety of the Mansion's walls but now she's being compared to Livia Snow.

"We're on television! Soarynn look!"

Ceraphina's words wash right over Soarynn, a million thoughts running through her mind, the main one being that she's getting fired tonight, she has no doubt in her mind that President Snow will fire her. She didn't even last a week.

"Let's go to the playroom," Soarynn says, clicking the television off, "I think that's enough television for tonight."

꧁ ꧂

Dinner is quiet.

Well, Soarynn is quiet.

The girls are talking a mile a minute, telling Eudora every single thing they did and saw at the zoo today. Soarynn pushes her food around on the plate, no longer hungry.

"...and then we got new stuffed animals!" Celeste finishes, throwing her hands in the air for dramatic effect. Eudora gives her an impressed nod, "Sounds like you were very busy today. That's good, a busy schedule is a good schedule."

"Is Daddy busy?"

"Yes dear, he's always busy."

"I wish he'd play with us," Ceraphina mumbles, pushing her half-eaten plate away.

Eudora frowns, glancing at Ceraphina and then at Soarynn, "You have Soarynn to keep you company dear. Your father hired her himself so you could always be taken care of."

Soarynn straightens up in her chair. This is no time to glower in her own self-pity. Her main priority is the children so until she goes home tonight, she's got to keep up her cheery persona. "Eudora is right, I'm always here to play."

"But you don't live here," Ceraphina points out, "Macy lived here. Remember Macy?" Celeste nods, taking a bite out of her bread roll, "Mhm. Macy had pretty red hair like Mommy."

Sorynn quirks a brow at Eudora and is met with a look she understands too well, 'I'll explain later'.

"I might not live here, but I'm going to be here from the moment you wake up to the moment you go to sleep," Soarynn assures her. Unless she gets fired tonight.

Celeste perks up, roll long forgotten, "Can you bring your cat?"

Eudora pulls a disturbed face which leads Soarynn to quickly shake her head, "I'm afraid Petunia is quite comfortable at home. She doesn't do well in cars."

Or around other people. Petunia is a one-woman cat.

"Finish up with your dinner if you want dessert," Eudora reminds the children, "then you all can go play before Soarynn helps you with your baths. I have to go over a few things with Soarynn."

The promise of dessert motivates the girls to finish the last few bites of their dinner while Soarynn helps cut Caspian's chicken into smaller bites, "Lenny," he says, placing his small hand on top of her large one. She gives him a small smile, "You can play with Lenny after dinner."

Dessert is a crowd favorite apparently, chocolate-covered strawberries. Soarynn used to beg for these as dessert when she was little so she's happy to see the children also get so excited to eat them.

"Let me wipe your mouth darling," Soarynn says, reaching out for Ceraphina's face. She's got chocolate all around her mouth and that just won't do. Celeste slides out of her chair and runs over to Soarynn, tilting her head up, "Clean my face too!" Soarynn chuckles softly and makes a big show of cleaning her face as well, even though Celeste doesn't have anything around her mouth.

"All clean," she announces.

Caspian is more interested in licking the chocolate off the strawberries rather than eating them whole but he seems content so she doesn't bother him.

Soarynn watches the girls try to sit in the same chair, determined to sit with one another with a smile on her face. These children are so sweet. She hopes tonight isn't her last night with them.

꧁ ꧂

"Who's Macy?"

Soarynn watches Eudora's face carefully after asking a question she doesn't even really know about, but the girls do if they mention this mystery woman.

Eudora sighs, shaking her head, "Macy was the first nanny we hired after Livia died. She looked nearly identical to Livia because Coriolanus thought it would help the children. All it did was confuse them. And it didn't help that Macy was the complete opposite of Livia, always so kind and cheerful, just like you."

Soarynn frowns, glancing over at the children contentedly playing with dolls and blocks, "Livia wasn't nice?"

"Livia wasn't kind," Eudora corrects her, "anyone can be nice, it takes a special type of person to be genuinely kind and Livia didn't seem to ever possess that quality. She loved her children though, it's a shame she got sick."

"Was she...did they ever love each other?"

Eudora furrows her perfectly groomed eyebrows, "Coriolanus and Livia? No. Not truly that is. I think they loved the idea of each other which seems to be the case for this generation, running before they learn to walk, let alone crawl. They both loved their children though, it brought them together as a united front, and now he's all alone without a clue as to how to raise them."

Soarynn doesn't know much about love. She's never been in love herself. But she can imagine what it feels like, what it looks like. the Snow couple never looked to be truly in love. Maybe Eudora was right, they just loved the idea of each other and then Livia died, leaving him alone.

"Today people saw us at the zoo," Soarynn says slowly, playing with the fabric of her dress, "Lucky Flickerman was there and he said I looked like I could be their mother. And now I'm worried he's going to fire me," the last words tumble out of her mouth like a confession but she's glad to get it off her chest.

She had to tell someone before President Snow got back home tonight.

Eudora looks over at the children who've built some sort of zoo enclosure from the looks of it for their stuffed animals, not a care in the world. "I must admit, you certainly could be Ceraphina's twin, your eyes are identical. But Coriolanus isn't going to fire you over what Lucky Flickerman said, that man just found out you existed today and now he's got all sorts of opinions about you. Let people talk, all you need to do is focus on your job."

Soarynn sighs, nodding along to her words that do a great deal in comforting her, "I just need to keep them happy," she finishes, "nothing else matters."

And nothing does.

꧁ ꧂

Soarynn can not believe how much energy these girls have right before bed.

She put Caspian to sleep first since he was still tuckered out after his nap. He didn't even put up a fight which she was grateful for.

"It's time for bed," she says for the sixth time, picking up toys from the floor, "your father will be very upset if he comes home to find you two still awake."

The girls continue jumping on their bed, not paying her words any mind, "Daddy never gets upset with us," Ceraphina says, bumping into her sister, "and we're not tired." Soarynn places her hands on her hips, giving them a look, "Well I'm tired."

Celeste flops onto the bed, giving Soarynn a curious look, "How old are you?"

Soarynn puts the last of the toys away, closing the trunk, "I'm twenty years old." Sometimes she feels forty with back pain and aching knees. Other times she feels like she's ten years old again, not a clue to what she's doing with her life.

"You're young," Ceraphina says, hopping on one foot, "young enough to marry someone."

Celeste gasps, sitting up so fast that she knocks her sister down in the process, "You could marry Daddy!"

Ceraphina's face morphs from one of annoyance to one of agreement, nodding along to her little sister's plans, "Yes! Yes, you can have a big wedding and live happily ever after!"

Soarynn laughs, gathering her hair into her hands and twisting it into a braid, "Your father is far too busy to get married right now, especially to the nanny of his children," she says, poking at both of them to make them giggle. She succeeds and scoops them both up, swinging them around, "Now what story should I read tonight hmm?"

The girls shriek with excitement as they all spin around, "The jungle one!" Ceraphina cries, "The one with the lion!" Soarynn tosses all three of them back onto the mattress, letting them catch their breath, "Alright, I'll read that one but then it's bedtime alright?"

"Will you do the voices?"

"I'll do the voices."

Once Soarynn finally gets the girls settled and under the covers, she starts reading the story, doing her best animal impressions and there are a lot of animals in this book. But the girls must think she's doing a good job because she receives zero complaints throughout the whole story, not even a whine when she turns off the light.

"Have sweet dreams and I'll see you tomorrow," Soarynn whispers, cupping both of their faces with her hands. Ceraphina leans into her touch, her eyes growing heavy now that it's dark, "Thank you for taking us to the zoo today Soarynn."

Celeste yawns before cuddling up to her big sister, "Yeah, thanks for taking us."

Soarynn smiles fondly down at the girls, watching them fall asleep, "You're very welcome sweet girls," she whispers, quietly padding over to the doors.

She makes it out just in time to see President Snow coming out of Caspian's room. Her heart starts to beat a little faster when he walks towards her, his tie loosened and his curls unruly. He looks very handsome right now.

"They're asleep?" He nods at their bedroom doors. Soarynn nods then shakes her head, "Yes, well, no. I just put them down."

President Snow hums and pushes the doors open, slipping into the darkened room. Soarynn hears excited gasps and then the sound of him quieting them down. She peers in and sees him kissing them both goodnight, nodding when they show him their new stuffed animals. He gives their foreheads one last kiss each before rising back up to his full height.

Soarynn backs into the hallway, her hands clasped behind her back and her head lowered when he comes back out, closing the doors behind him. "How was the zoo?"

She glances up at him, he looks so intimidating from the outside, like he could break her into a million pieces and yet, he's so endlessly gentle and patient with his girls.

"It was good," she says, "Caspian kept roaring at the lions."

His lips twitch into what might be a smile but she's not too sure, "Ceraphina said you only let them get one stuffed animal."

Well, shit.

Soarynn is sure that his children are more than used to telling him about every interaction where they're denied something, and she can probably guess what happened to the people who were the cause of those upsets.

But she has to stand her ground the same way she did with Ceraphina. They're very alike, Ceraphina and her father.

"I did," she confirms.

He raises his eyebrows and he looks almost...impressed? No, that can't be possible. "You're the first nanny to ever tell her no to something. She's very used to getting her way."

I can tell, Soarynn thinks, "Is that a good thing?" She asks, tilting her head slightly. He lets out a breathy laugh, "Yes, it's a good thing. I can't have my children running around spoiled and demanding."

"They're not demanding," she quickly says, defending the children, "or spoiled. They're very sweet. It just seemed unreasonable to give them everything in the gift shop. Life doesn't always work that way, even if you want to protect them."

Her words seem to strike a nerve with the President because he frowns, "I have to protect them. They're all I have now that their mother is gone."

Soarynn knows how men like him think, how their children are more than flesh and blood. They're his legacy. Without them, his name, his work, his family will die alongside him. He'll do anything to keep them safe.

"I understand sir," she says softly, "and we were very safe today at the zoo. The children enjoyed it very much."

He nods, scratching the back of his neck, "Good. I'll have to let you take them more places then, they need the interactions with other people."

Soarynn stares down at her shoes, wondering how high of heels she'd need to wear to be at eye level with President Snow. He's so tall, so...overwhelming. She feels the same way she did in the stairwell earlier today, unsure of what to do.

"I'm sure they'd appreciate that," she finally says, giving him a polite smile. He stares her down for a second, his cold gaze analyzing her face which only makes her feel more self-conscious than before.

"You look just like your mother."

That just about knocks the wind out of her.

He's older than her, and old enough to remember her mother before she died in childbirth. Soarynn's heard it countless times, how she's the spitting image of her mother but she didn't expect him of all people to comment on it. Not here, not now.

She finally regains her composure and nods, "I've been told that before sir."

His eyes travel up and down her body, "I always thought your mother was beautiful, she was always kind to me. Do you think of yourself as kind Ms. Nightingale?"

"...it takes a special type of person to be genuinely kind..."

Eudora's words echo over and over in her head while she thinks of a suitable answer. She doesn't think it's possible to always be kind but she sure tries. She doesn't really have a reason not to be kind.

"I try to be sir."

"I think you might make my children kind."

"All children are kind, it's the adults around them who make them cruel."

Soarynn has seen it before, how sweet, kind children have been turned into monsters due to their upbringings and the influences around them. She won't let that happen to these children so long as she works as their nanny.

"Goodnight Ms. Nightingale."

"Goodnight sir."

Soarynn walks past him, her hands shaking and her breaths uneven. She's never been around a man as unnerving as President Snow but he probably prefers it that way.

The only time he lets a sliver of kindness show is when he's around his children for a mere hour a day.

What a terrible way to live.

| Part 2. |

| tumblr oneshot/drabble |

{ Part 3. }

[verdemoun]

I. I need to know. Hosea's first few weeks or even months in modern times. How was he found? How was he with Bessie? How'd he adjust? Anything he loved/hated in particular? AND BESSIE???? HOSEA AND BESSIE STUFF IS JUST *CHEFS KISS*

spare some crumbs for a hosea fan im begging

HOSEA BELOVED

Waking up was more peaceful than it had any right to be for Hosea. It was more like the slow confused raise of his head like he'd just fainted for a second. Bessie was the first thing he saw and he just melted into a smile so relieved and in love and happy to see her again before he started to realize she had aged, her hair was cut in a fashion he'd never seen before and wearing a skirt that fell just below her knees? Scandalous? Hot??

Admittedly any happy reunion was cut short by the revelation Lenny also died/timewarped just a few minutes after him and was having a much more violent awakening still wheezing and gasping for breath as if he was still trying to breathe through a collapsed lung. Comforting the young man he calls son was more important than simping. (Sean was fashionably late but soon took over because Lenny very much needed and wanted Sean more)

Did not give a single fuck about how or why or where he was. He held Bessie's face gently and kissed her like he expected the Devil to appear and drag him to the Hell he rightfully deserved after his lifetime.

Absolutely lovesick. Being able to stare at his wife who was still so beautiful with age so happy so healthy the way she looks at him with the same affection in her eyes takes away even the slightest fear or nausea on the drive home. Fortunately Lakay to Blackwater is a significant drive so they got to be introduced to a lot of modern era through passing through cities and towns on the trip.

People forget Hosea absolutely believed in all Dutch's anti-government freedom rhetoric so much - they were shared ideals they originally bonded over. They were the start of the VDLs. He would hate so much of modern era. Laughed the first time he saw taxes on Bessie's payslip and then got angry. First slang term he learns to use correctly is ACAB. Learning that the government recognized retirement age is 65-67? The government would expect him, at 55, to get a job? Bessie can't just retire and spend every waking moment in his arms?? Livid.

His saving grace is his wife. He loves her so, so much. She is practically a beast tamer, how quickly she can touch his arm and kiss his cheek and suddenly he's too happy and content in love to even think about setting the mayor's perfectly manicured garden on fire.

He never learns technology. He is still happy with newspapers and books thank you very much he genuinely does not understand wikipedia and thinks everyone is so intelligent when they look at their phone and suddenly know the answer to a question he asked. Bessie is secretly grateful she is almost certain if there was written record of the things he said about local council he would get arrested.

Hosea was the one to have the obligatory 'no i'm old and hideous now there's no way you could love me' moment because he thinks Bessie's wrinkles and grey hair and signs of age are as perfect as she is. Yet, he finds the exact same things in himself deformities. Bessie assures him he is as handsome as the day she fell in love with him.

Since Bessie is very happy with her job as a professor and Hosea detests much of modern era he is very happy being the house husband. He learns to use appliances and takes over cooking. He makes recipes from magazines and proper cook books. He is the ideal domestic man he is chasing the boys out the door to go to work/get a job with the same energy as his famous 'do something!!' lecture so he can mop and make sure the house is perfect for his beautiful hard working woman's return.

Bessie might dress modestly to most people's standards but coming from 1899 Hosea absolutely loses his mind. His wife wearing pants? Hot. A cardigan with just a shirt underneath? Practically in a state of undress? Genuinely concerned they could get arrested. Watching her do her hair nice and wear cheap jewelry that looks aesthetically nicer than fine jewels in 1899? Acts like he's dating a countess would crawl behind her if she told him to. 50s housedress that hug her waist? Old man is feral.

Honestly their modern era life is just everything Hosea craved and missed and mourned for when settling down with Bessie didn't work because of his stubbornness in 1883. He has absolutely no desire to return to crime (because getting away with crime is significantly harder in modern era (he still crimes. man is a kleptomaniac who plays confused old man with dementia whenever he gets caught)) after a proper second chance to do things right with Bessie. They read together, they listen to music, slow dance in the living room, go on walks through parks holding hands making everyone who sees them wish they had what Bessie and Hosea have.

Side note: Hosea very much has a type. Bessie is as strong-willed and sharp-tongued as Dutch and it is very obvious to anyone who sees how tightly she has him wrapped around his finger. She holds so much power over him just because of how much he loves her. Full Gomez Adaams 'look at her. i would die for her. i would kill for her. either way what bliss'. Fortunately, she is a genuinely very kind, patient, loving person who adores Hosea for the person and way he is and does not abuse the complete control she could have over husband.

[kylobith]

Whiskey is the Only Spirit I Believe In (Bones x Fem!OC)

Summary: After a long day of work, Bones just wants to sit down and relax with a glass of fine whiskey. But being accused of having stolen it was not in his plans.

Trope: Plotless, banter, Grumpy Bones™

Word count: 860

Read on AO3 here.

‘Just admit that you stole it.’

Bones gasps in offence, his contestation nothing more than an incomprehensible gargle stuck in his throat. The eternal crease on his brow deepens as his disgruntled demeanor shifts into sheer annoyance. He gives a curt shake of his head, waving his free hand next to the whiskey bottle in his grasp.

‘For the hundredth time, I did not,’ he responds with flared nostrils, exaggerating each syllable.

Liz narrows her eyes at his assurance, cranes her neck to stare into his soul as though she possessed the power to peruse it at will. He raises an eyebrow at her insistence, pushing the cork back into the damp neck.

All he wanted was a quiet night in with a comforting glass of spirit, basking in healing silence with his partner. Was that too much to ask? After hours patching up an engineer, not even sure that he would make it, draining his energy to think of any alternatives should his attempts fail, he is beyond exhausted. Much to his relief, his patient survived, albeit in a poor state, but his life is no longer in danger. Soon enough, when he will be able to regain some autonomy, Bones will need to arrange the process of sending the engineer home. Life in space is no longer an option; perhaps San Francisco would have use of him still. He hopes so.

But none of the hardships of the day matters, it seems. Liz is in a mood. An accusatory one, it seems.

‘Liz, listen, it’s been a long day, why don’t you cut it to the chase and tell me why you’re so absolutely sure that I stole the bottle?’

‘Well,’ she says, wiping the crumbs of her biscuits off the table, then her hand on her dress, ‘I know that you’ve had a light hand in the past when it comes to Chekov’s stash.’

‘So? We went back to SF not even a month ago, I bought my own stash then. I’m not an alcoholic; I didn’t drink all the bottles since then.’

Liz shrugs, visibly unimpressed. Her hand seeks her recently repaired communicator and examines the material for scratches or traces of the break. Bones shoves his glass away from him with two fingers, astonished by her nonchalance. Why is she like this? He loves her, he does. But being the target of baseless accusations—no matter how insignificant—toys with his nerves in a most irritating fashion. Especially after a day like this.

‘Liz, please. I don’t have the patience for that today.’

‘I didn’t see you bring any bottles from Earth last time we went. Chekov is a sweetheart, but he will eventually be pissed at you if you keep stealing his alcohol.’

‘I didn’t—’

‘Why do you even need this alcohol?’

That is too much to bear. He pushes his chair back, pinching his lips painfully tight, and rises. If he cannot have peace with his partner, then he will seek it somewhere else.

‘That’s it. I don’t know what you’re playing at, but I’m tired and I don’t need to be accused of something I didn’t do. You can think I’m an alcoholic all you want, I don’t care.’

Before he can leave, Liz catches his hand, stopping him in his tracks.

‘And for the record,’ he continues after taking a steadying breath, ‘I only stole from Chekov twice. Twice. And I always paid him back for the bottles, I’m not an asshole.’

‘I’m sorry, Lennie,’ she murmurs. ‘I know it’s been a hard day.’

Bones squints his eyes at her and leans his hip against his chair.

‘You’re doing it on purpose, aren’t ya? Accusing me, for shits and giggles. Does that amuse you?’

A smile breaks through her stern composure, allowing Bones to breathe and relax some of the tension in his body.

‘I just love your little dimples when you’re pissed,’ she confesses. ‘I need my fill of them.’

He sweeps his discarded glass off the table and dips his lips into the amber-colored liquid within at long last.

‘You’re impossible.’

‘Yes, but you love me for it. We’re Len & Lez after all.’

The absurdity of her remark contorts his traits into one of partial disgust.

‘Oh god, what a dork. I didn’t sign up for that ridiculous name. I should kick you off the ship for your own good.’

‘You wouldn’t.’

‘Yeah, well, I didn’t get through a divorce to be treated like that.’

‘Like me finding you handsome no matter what?’

Bones gazes at her from above his glass, and his severe eyes soften at once. How could he remain angry at her? She has always been one to tease him, but never to hurt him or diminish his feelings or temper, however short it may be. While he does believe that she went a tad too far tonight, she largely compensates for it with her apology and her bright, doe eyes. How beautiful she looks, he thinks. Perhaps he should tell her more often; he has never been much of a compliment giver.

So, he simply smirks and sips his whiskey.

‘Something like that.’

Taglist: @emmanuellececchi

[wonderlandleighleigh]

1, 2

(This took an unexpected turn)

1973

It turns out Lenny doesn’t want to do standup so much anymore, so much as he wants to write.

And Susie gets it. The guy’s been in and out of state-run treatment places where they scrambled up his brains with electro shock therapy and more, weirder drugs, and then the workhouse where rumor has it he got the shit kicked out of him for being too mouthy. his lung collapsed apparently at one point before he OD’d that one time.

His shit is fucked, and it makes total sense he wouldn’t have much of a burning desire to get up in front of a room full of people anymore.

Fucking sad as it is. The guy is a fucking genius.

But he’s written a play, and Susie sits down to read it one night. She figures it’ll probably be a little overwrought. A little angry. A little over the top.

She’s wrong.

She’s so fucking wrong, because it’s so fucking beautiful there’s fuckin’ water leaking out of her eyes.

It’s 1973 and she’s crying over Lenny fuckin’ Bruce’s melancholy, understated screenplay about addiction and life and fatherhood and justice and what the fuck.

She finishes at two in the morning, and immediately picks up the phone.

“Oh my god who’s in jail?” Midge’s voice tumbles down the line.

“Get here now,” Susie snaps. “Get here right fuckin’ now, Midge.”

“Susie? What is it, what’s wrong, what happened?”

“Lenny wrote a play and it’s fuckin’ gorgeous and I can’t sit here and process it alone.”

“He wrote a play?” Midge asks, and she sounds proud.

“Get here.”

She hangs up and waits, and it takes Midge about a half hour and then another little while to read the thing, and Susie watches her, sipping whiskey as she waits.

And when she’s done, Midge bursts into fucking tears. Not the leaky quiet ones Susie had.

Real fuckin’ tears.

“Right? It’s so good!”

“It is,” Midge squeaks out. “It’s so good. But- But I- Susie, he- I was so worried that he wasn’t really in there anymore, you know? Like after everything that happened to him, he was just...I mean he’s still Lenny. But he’s so quiet now, and he doesn’t laugh as much anymore, and I just- I was so sad that I thought my friend was gone, but he’s still in there.” She hugs the script to her chest. “We have to get this made.”

Susie nods in agreement as she tries to trade Midge the glass of booze for the screenplay, but the younger woman doesn’t let it go.

And she knows whatever happens between her dearest friend and the mess of a man who wrote a fucking masterpiece, she’s not going to be able to stop it.

“We will,” Susie says. “We’ll get it made.”

*****

Lenny wanders into her office the next day and smiles at Dinah. They’ve developed a strange little friendship where if Dinah knows Lenny is coming she gets him a cherry turnover and if Lenny is coming into the office he grabs her a knish from the street vendor down the road.

They trade, and Lenny takes a bite of the flaky pastry as he takes a seat on the couch, waiting patiently for his turn.

Things are good. He has a quiet apartment in the Village, and his kid is doing good in school, and he cooks dinner for her and he mostly writes opinion pieces and plays script doctor or ghost writer and makes pretty good money doing it.

No one in the industry really wants to touch him. He can’t believe Susie offered to rep him, considering everything. “Degenerate junkie” gets thrown around a lot, even though he’s three years clean, but what can you do?

“Get in here, you tall fuck!” Susie calls.

Lenny shrugs at Dinah and stands again, stepping into the office, finding not just Susie, but Midge. He grins around a mouthful of turnover and offers her a bite, but Midge just reaches up and brushes a crumb from the corner of his mouth.

“We read it,” Susie tells him.

He swallows. “We?” he asks, looking from one woman to the other. “Is it bad? Have you called me in to tell me it smells like unwashed dick cheese in person?”

“No,” Midge assures him. “but unwashed dick cheese is so fucking vivid and I’m stealing it,” she teases.

“It’s not like I’m using it,” Lenny chuckles. “Be my guest.”

“It’s fuckin’ good, Lenny,” Susie tells him. “And we’re gonna get it fuckin’ made. No matter fuckin’ what.”

“Yeah?” he asks, his eyebrows raising, his eyes lighting up a little.

“Yes,” Susie says. “Sit. Let’s talk it out.”

And he does.

[lycorogue]

MIRACULOUS | 🐞 LOU & LENNI-KIM - THE WALL BETWEEN US 🐞 | Official Music Video

Guys. It’s been like 6 months since I saw the Miraculous movie on Netflix. And I’m STILL salty that this song was cut. Back in 2019 this was our only crumb for the plot of the movie. We knew it was coming out after season 5. The song had hints of reverse-love-square or even a collapsed love square. I was HYPED.

Even after discovering that the movie was simply Jeremy Zag’s rewrite of the first 5 seasons and an AU telling of the Agreste Saga, I was still hyped to hear this song.

“Stronger Together” is a great song. I did love it as the romance duet of the movie, but I was still so hyped to hear “The Wall Between Us”. I had been listening to it countlessly for 3 years. The movie concludes, and.... it’s nowhere! OK, maybe it’s the closing theme music? Nope. “Stronger Together” again. “The Wall Between Us” is just.... gone. And I don’t even remember hearing news of it being cut. The song that was the FIRST promo for the movie... and... *poof*!

What’s worse is that “The Wall Between Us” is not only still listed under the movie’s soundtrack on IMDb, but it’s also the ONLY song listed under the movie’s soundtrack!

I think I’ll forever be saddened that we never actually got Marinette and Adrien officially singing this song to each other....

[bismuthsgirl]

randomly in the mood to overshare lenny has this multicolored hoodie they bought at target and i told them they looked like a bad soundcloud rapper called lil cookie crumb and now every single time they put on that hoodie we have to say that they’re donning the mask of lil cookie crumb

[haunt0ravensong]

The House Guest

Summary: After a falling out with the entire gang, Kieran went off on his own and found a cabin for sale just outside of Emerald Ranch. Rumors had circulated the small ranch he works in about the cabin and how the previous owner said little people lived in their walls. He didn't think it was true until he met the tiny man himself.

Author's Note: This is an AU, obviously. Everyone is alive and had gone their own way. Arthur, Sean Lenny, and Kieran deserved better than what they got. I'm still new to writing on here so I hope you guys enjoy this :3

@pirate-pizza-party I got one done finally 👀

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Eyes watched a critter skitter about in the rundown house's kitchen. For now it's only Kieran in the new place he found himself in. It isn't much, just a lonesome cabin that was for sale just outside of Emerald Ranch. He bought it for himself when Dutch's gang had their falling out.

The previous owner died of old age, but apparently was senile as well and was mocked by their wild stories of a tiny sized man living in the walls.

Well, it seems that the elder wasn't senile after all.

 Kieran had heard stories of these tiny people- Borrowers, if he recalls, from a former calvary man in the army. Borrowers aren't entirely human looking, sometimes having some animal features to better suit their needs. But most of all, Borrowers are usually terrified of people and will move to a different place if seen. 

To be honest, Kieran never believed it, but… now he's proven wrong. If the calvary man was still alive, he'd apologize for not believing, however he decides to watch the tiny being.

From what Kieran could guess, he'd say the little one is around three, maybe four inches tall. He's assuming it's the tiny man that the elder spoke of so he's going to say "he" until told otherwise. Aside from his height, Kieran spotted what looks like a long and fuzzy tail picking up a crumb and putting it inside a very small rusack hanging off his side.

One thing that amazes him is that the little one hasn't even felt his gaze yet. At the same time though, he doesn't want him to notice he's there. If he can find a way just to talk to him, maybe he won't leave.

Kieran stayed lost in his thoughts until a tiny yelp and scattering of the silverware left on the counter got his attention. He had been finally spotted.

By the time he looked to where the tiny man was, he was already inside the mouse hole by the sink. Kieran felt terrible for scaring him off although that would've happened anyways just because of him being a scary giant.

"I'm sorry for scarin' ya," he softly whispered once close enough to the mouse hole. "I didn't mean to. Here-" he fished out a small piece of chocolate he had, "- you don't gotta accept it. It's just a peace offerin'. I'm movin' into this cabin soon so if ya stay, ya might be seein' more of me. Just know that… I'm not gonna hurt ya. Ever."

He stepped away and went upstairs to see the rest of the place so he could see what needed to be done. It was in rough shape, but nothing he couldn't fix, he remembered having to fix many posts or tents with the gang.

After finally moving in and fixing up the stable and house, Kieran began to notice that the tiny man seemed to be slightly more comfortable with being seen by him. The tiny man hasn't introduced himself yet, but he'd been either giving waves or leaving small items like pieces of silver or jewelry out for him to see. He believes that they're gifts so he accepts them and leaves out bits of food and water for him in return.

This cycle had gone on for a few weeks, and while Kieran was thankful that the man hadn't left, he still felt a little… sad that he won't get near him. He understands though and refuses to try and rush knowing him. He himself was more reserved as well.

Kieran is getting ready to head back into Emerald Ranch for his job when he spotted the tiny man watching him from atop his dresser. He smiled and waved to him, and he got a wave back along with a long tail wagging like crazy. He chuckled thinking of it being more akin to a whip than a dog tail.

He carefully stepped to the dresser and bent down to get a closer look, "Hey there."

 "Hi!" The man responded back, shocking Kieran a moment before smiling even more.

 "Seems like yer excited." He softly chuckled, "Got plans today?"

 This question seemed to change the mood slightly. Not in a bad way though. The tiny man looked down to his feet and curled his tail enough around him to begin fidgeting with it. Was he… nervous? Kieran doesn't blame him one bit. Here he is a giant looking down-

 "I…I wanted to ask if I could come along?"

  His train of thought went blank, thinking he didn't hear that right. He subtly licked his lips to ease the dryness but made sure the tiny man didn't see so he wouldn't think anything of it. He didn't want to scare him.

 "You…you want to ride with me?" He wanted to double check if he heard correctly. When he received a nervous nod in response he smiled, "Sure, I don't mind. I gotta warn ya though, I'm headin' to my job so it might be a while before we get back."

The tiny seemed prepared for this and used his tail to point behind him, "I packed! The elder used to bring me out and well… I'm a little bored staying here."

Knowing that his mind is made up, Kieran gently placed his hand upright beside the man, and he climbed on after throwing his pack on his back. Kieran was slow and steady getting him up to his shirt pocket on the front and let him slide in. With how warm it is outside, he decided to not wear his new coat.

 As he walked downstairs with his riding buddy, he introduced himself, "My name's Kieran Duffy. What's yours?"

"I'm Gray. No last name though, I don't have one."

 He felt that there was a story behind that, however he decided to leave it be. There was no need to press for personal information this early on in their budding friendship. Kieran will ask questions in time, but mostly, he'll wait until Gray chooses to be more open with him.

[alterego-nos2022]

I'm Japanese fan-fiction maker.

This is AU

Little John fly to London and meets Young Billy

Translation of my fan-fic:

🔼

How did John-kun abandon the lab?

Laboratory Age Mystery Cube Complete Nutritional Food (Taste is secondary)

     ↓

First time in London meets first meeting bad Older boy

We can use this guy. the look on his face

for Lenny Emergency food for always for children Snack food Beef consommé flavor

    ↓

I,John love snacks and Billy and Lenny!

Enjoy! London Underworld

🔽 12 years later United States of America New Young Hero & Assistant Agent

Oi! John... no no no, Homelander. Your next mission order just came in.

    ↓

Candy crumbs!

Oh, William! Next assignment? Where am I going? William and Leonard. You're both with me, aren't you?

It's delicious. I love it!

    ↓

Oh, shit! He's still eating those cheap snack food I had for Lenny when we were kids! Now he's got enough money to eat all the foie gras, truffles, and thick beefsteaks if he wants...!

Billy have a complicated relationship with his little boy and a desire to spend a lot of money and have a good time

[starguardiansam]

It's really taking a mental, physical, and personal toll on me trying raise a baby with mom, make sure mom and her Lenny are properly dieting medicating and not drinking, then to have to train a grown ass adult to have respect in my familys residence u shouldn't even have to do.

Honestly that's simple common sense, showing respect for me and my family and any property you are on when it's not yours. When we went to Gail's you cried about your back the whole time and I've been the one with a tooth infection and abscess for 3 years, embassing me in front of my closest . I haven't gone back to Gail's since and she's my go to sister for like everything i'll walk ride bike or transit to her or she would do that for me.

I have nothing to say about how disgusting the crumbs and food items dropped in your car and jeep and I continually just pick them up before they stink. But I can say something about my computers and my bedroom and especially my bed that's the biggest pet peeve of mine and it absolutely needs to stop cuz that is not something I can just look away from. Not only is it unsanitary, but who wants to feel shit stuck t your skin and forehead all night while trying to sleep?

[makaylahoffmann]

Mack gave him a soft smile and a nod, "I totally get that, trust me," and she did at least nowadays. Shifting a bit in her set, and taking a crumbs from the wrapper, she nodded vigorously, "I sure hope so. I'm hoping it's mild this year but who knows?" She shrugged her shoulders, each year hoping it's not too crazy as firefighting was hard enough, add in bad weather and it was the perfect storm. She hoped it wouldn't be too crazy this year as things were a bit different on a personal level. Nodding, "that's good. And oh fun, how'd they like it? Do anything fun for their rooms?" She asked, a bit curious, as she knew his kids a bit, before smiling again, "congratulations. Nine is a big one, so you better pull something amazing off." Chuckling a bit, she was only playing as she had known Ray and Lenny for years. "I'm good, and he's good. Thankfully everyone in the Hoffmann household are good." @rayxclairmont

He chuckled a little and nodded. "Yeah. It is time consuming so it's good when we can get away from it." He nodded. "It definitely was. Hopefully it'll stick like this all winter compared to the storms we got last year." Though, he had set out preparations just in case so he hoped that it'd go smoother this year if anything was to happen. "Life is good. We redid the girls rooms at the house and Lenny is great. We're about to come up on our ninth wedding anniversary so planning something special. How about you? How's Ethan?" @makaylahoffmann

[spryhaunch]

This is all phone pics of doodles from the first week we got the worms :)

So before Augusta was incinerated & Ephraim AND Cantus too (right??) Were put in the shadows lmao.

1) augusta being comforted by lenny and laughed at by kaz

2) augusta and ephraim

3) patchwork southwick protecting lenny from the birds

4) ephraim making people Walk to 1st

5) ephraim and lenny :) (I like to imagine lenny is team captain)

6) I thought Hojo looked like a face so I designed cantus to always say "Hojo" no matter which way they face

[bluntforcefem]

   being possessed is different every time.    len’s like fire, maybe—fire because ne burns under nyr skin, form superimposed onto nym, warm and too hot and too cold all at once. usually lenny checks out of the whole experience halfway through, lets len pick up the bat and play without any outside input.    lenny’s body is here, though. len swings, and nyr arm aches.

   (or; the relationship between your local paranormal enthusiast and ghost can be something so personal, really.)

[wonderlandleighleigh]

A random Sunday morning, somewhere down the line.

She wakes to the smell of perfectly toasted rye bread and coffee, and takes a deep breath as she stretches out, taking in the room around her.

The bed is big, and currently, Midge is the only one inhabiting it, tangled up in the soft sheets and pleasantly heavy comforter, and the walls are a light blue grey, perfect for getting some much-needed rest.  

They don’t keep a television in here, and her husband is only allowed a few books in here at a time, relegating the rest of his reading material to his office, while Midge herself is allowed her comedy notebook, but only if she thinks p something very, very good. Otherwise, they use this room as a quiet oasis away from the world.

The door opens and Lenny steps in, carrying a tray of plates filled with buttered toast and mugs of steaming coffee, humming absently to himself as he sets it down on the bed.

“Hi,” she tells him, her voice a little hoarse.

“Morning,” he mutters, kissing the top of her head. “What’s going on, I didn’t make you scream that loudly last night,” he jokes.

She laughs and rubs her eyes. “Just still waking up,” she assures him, tugging him down by his undershirt for a good morning kiss. “I didn’t expect to get breakfast in bed, though.”

“Well, my first night back in town from California, after leaving you to chase after three kids,” he shrugs. “I figured you’ve earned it.”

Midge smiles and settles back against the pillows as he joins her, picking up a mug of coffee to sip from.

“How was Sally?” she asks as she reaches for her own.

“Sally,” Lenny shrugs. “She still wants us to move to LA. She thinks we’d be very big there.”

Midge wrinkles her nose. “Okay.”

He leans over and kisses her cheek. “Don’t worry about Ma. Eat your toast.”

“Are the kids up?” she asks as she picks up a piece of toast to take a bite. She sighs in satisfaction. “How do you always toast it just right?”

Lenny shrugs and grins. “Talent,” he tells her. “The kids are up. They’re parked in front of the television with cereal and bananas.”

Midge giggles. “You can’t help trying to make them eat healthier.”

“They need to!” he defends. “They’re little kids, you can’t just feed them carbs and expect them to have energy for an entire day.”

“You’re so cute,” she coos, resting her head on his shoulder as she takes another bite of toast.

“You are going to get crumbs in my lap,” Lenny complains with a chuckle.

She smirks up at him. “Suffer.”

[harrietmjones]

Because of playing Midge and Lenny so well and with such great chemistry, I just love seeing Rachel and Luke together…any little crumb!

I feel very conscious to never ever have the slightest thought of shipping them as themselves, as actors (especially since they’re both married actors also) but as their characters, they’re just lovely! 🥰💖💙

Rachel + Luke At NYSE