#lena needs more people to defend her

[lena-in-a-red-dress]

Aithusa Returns Thoughts Pt 2

- Aithusa won't cuddle with Kara the way he does with Lena, but he does allow her to fly with him. Sometimes he even in invites her, hovering in place expectantly until Kara lifts up up and away at his side.

- Archer doesn't know that Aithusa is a dragon. He only ever sees Aithusa as a cat. An oddly colored cat, to be sure, with an uncanny intelligence in its eyes that's only sometimes a bit unnerving.

- One day Lena and Archer are walking to lunch downtown when a stranger steps into their path to start berating Lena for how her brother almost ended the world. Used to such animosity, Lena is ready to wait him out, but Archer is having none of it. He steps between her and the stranger, and gets in the stranger's face about they should ashamed to take their rage out on the woman who helped *save* the world, a woman they don't even know, how DARE THEY, until the stranger shrinks back and scurries away with their tail between their legs.

- Lena watches almost bemusedly, and when Archer turns back, shoots him a wry smile. "Feel better?" she asks. Archer adjusts the sit of his sport coat, standing proud and tall. "Quite," he says.

[fazedlight]

Supergirl the show poses a question: Who is the real Kara?

Kara Zor-El, Kara Danvers, Supergirl. Who's the mask?

In the beginning, Kara doesn't even know. In the aftermath of Krypton's and Kenny's deaths, she did everything she could to appear as normal as possible - there was little room for her own innate traits to shine through when she was being as nondescript and people-pleasing as possible.

But that's not who Kara is.

We get the first glimpse of who Kara really is during Flight 237.

This is not about her being Supergirl or her powers (though both are relevant). Kara has suppressed herself for over a decade. She's not going to make waves - until she has to. Our first real insight into who Kara is now is as a devoted sister. It wasn't until Alex's life was at risk that Kara started breaking out of her shell (and then there was no holding back).

Our protagonist is a mid-20s adult - this isn't a coming-of-age story in the traditional sense. But it is a story of finding oneself and what it takes to get there.

And it starts with defending found family after a lifetime of loss.

So Kara creates the Supergirl persona. I think the cape is a crutch.

People say "a crutch" like it's a bad thing. But crutches are actually pretty fucking useful. They support you when you need it, whether it be short-term or long-term. They help you get around when you otherwise may not be able to.

Kara was deeply traumatized by losing everyone and everything she ever knew, being thrown into a world that overwhelmed her senses and made even her most casual movements into dangerous ones, and was told she needed to suppress everything - who she used to be, what she was going through now - to survive.

To find herself again, maybe she'd need a tool to get past what she had been through! The cape became that tool. She was able to unbury the heritage she had been hiding, she was able to embrace the powers that had burdened her, she was able to find her own bravery (and reactivity, she's got flaws in there too).

Keep in mind, in the scene above, Kara isn't "human for a day". Kara is powerless... just like she spent the first 13 years of her life. Her bravery isn't about her powers or Supergirl; they just help her get started.

That's not where her growth ends.

Kara's instincts for helping people start getting unburied in season 1, and she is excited to tag along someone else's quest to figure out where future threats may lie, or figure out how she can use her powers in service to the DEO.

But it's not until this moment that she realizes that Kara Danvers can be more, too. Lena unintentionally launches Kara's career - a second pathway for Kara's desire to help people, growing into a passion she is going to pursue (even if she gets fired). Her worth is no longer just about her sun-granted powers or being Superman's "younger" cousin.

In season 4, we even see her realization that Kara Danvers can be more powerful than Supergirl, because some fights can't be won by fists. That's a real discovery for herself.

Which I think, looking back, might becoming especially baffling for her... because Kara Danvers was originally an identity imposed on her when she needed to hide.

It's important to note that, while Kara Danvers was originally a facade that Kara gets at thirteen, she doesn't stay a facade - even in the suppression era.

We don't see enough of who Kara is when she's on Earth, left to her own devices. But we see glimpses - we know she likes baking (and we know we shouldn't try what she makes), we know she paints, we know she listens to NSync and Britney Spears. She's a goofball (even when she puts on the cape). Kara Danvers starts as a facade, but becomes a vehicle for Kara to continue developing her personality, now in her new context.

Would she have the same interests on Krypton? Maybe some and not others, maybe some new ones that don't exist on Earth. We're all products of our environments, after all. Her interests as Kara Danvers aren't necessarily fake just because they're different than what she expected.

Though she'll never know who she would've become on Krypton.

Which brings us to Kara Zor-El - the identity that is frozen.

Most people aren't the same person as an adult that they were as a child. Interests, tastes, personality, world outlook, philosophy - all of these shift over time, sometimes dramatically.

Parts of her are going to be deeply rooted in Krypton, and she's going to have ties to a culture that no one else on Earth has. It's not an aspect of herself that she can erase. But it's also not an aspect of herself that was able to develop for the remainder of her childhood and early adulthood.

She, like all of us, was destined to lose pieces of herself. But some of her loss was very sudden, and the pieces she lost probably weren't going to be the same on Krypton. Of course, she has no way to know.

And I think that frustrates her.

I guess my answer to "Who is Kara?" is that the three personalities clash with and harmonize with each other. None of them are truly her. All of them inform who she is.

There's a young Kara Zor-El as her root that was torn from the ground before she could ever grow.

There's a Kara Danvers who formed the bulk of her life - a mask that was given to her, the only vehicle for her personality, who ultimately became someone she could embrace as worthwhile in her own right.

There's a Supergirl who distinctly separates from those around her, but lets her move past her numbness and reclaim her heritage.

And it's that clash that makes her a particularly compelling character.

Maybe that's a cheating answer to the original question.

But there's still a missing piece to the puzzle - because it's not just about Who is Kara? but also about Who does Kara want to be?

I think Supergirl is something that could fade if needed. If Kara lost her powers, she would find a new normal, so long as she was able to pursue her desire to help the world in some capacity.

But the truth of her is somewhere between Kara Danvers and Kara Zor-El. The truth of her is in what Supergirl allowed her to unbury, even if not directly tied to Supergirl herself. But Danvers and Zor-El are burdens, in a way. Lena is one of the few people who sees the person in between, who understands Kara on her own terms. Which is why Kara is terrified of Lena's rejection.

I think it's one of the most telling lines in the show - to be just Kara is to be free of her own baggage, to be able to embrace herself despite the pain in her history. Something I think we all want, that is never entirely possible.

But the pursuit is still a worthwhile one.

[wosoluver]

Jealousy

Part 2 - previous

Lena Oberdorf x reader

Lena Oberdorf Masterlist

──✩₊⁺⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧──

Lena's pov

"Morning" I said coming into the locker room the next day. I look around, but I don't see Y/N. Not seeing Ana either, drives me to conclude they are together and already outside.

"You look a bit shitty, no offense." says Giulia.

"Saying 'no offense' after saying the rudest thing ever does not make it less offensive."

"See you didn't get much sleep last night." Lea says, she knows me too well.

"Yeah, I was doing a lot of thinking... and feeling, I guess."

"Want to talk about it?"

"After training?"

She only nodded, walking next to me towards the field.

──✩₊⁺⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧──

We stayed back after training, with the excuse of training penalty shots.

"So?"

"hm, it's not that simple to get out."

"Is it about Y/N?"

"How'd you know?" I ask, lips parted a bit shocked.

She simply laughs, which feels a bit like a mock. Making me twist my brows questionably.

"You're really are oblivious about it! Klara was right!"

"You guys were talking about us?"

"Yeah, at Syd's the other day! Y/N had just defended you, and you basically shut her down. You do that all the time. Every time she tries to hit on you actually."

"She doesn't hit on me! I'm pretty sure she only sees me as a friend. That's exactly what I wanted to talk about."

"As a friend?" she said in an outrageous tone. "Your joking right? She religiously does your hair every game. You want to drive her everywhere and won't take a no for an answer, which is fine because she never puts up a fight anyway. She literally said she will marry you. She looks at you, like you hung up the moon and the stars?!

You go out everyday after training as 'friends' but have never actually bothered to invite your other friends. I think you really only got bothered once she invited someone else to come a long, because you knew this isn't a 'just friends' things.

You are bothered because she invited Ana to do something you consider to be extra friendly. Wondering 'what if she is doing romantic things with someone else?'.

Am I right or am I right?"

I felt tears come to my eyes. She described what I felt, but couldn't understand what it was. And I was angry in a way, with myself, for taking so long to notice.

"No need to cry babes." she said coming to hug me. "We cry when we have feelings that aren't reciprocated. You're so lucky, that girl is in love with you. And I really think she would like to hear how you feel."

I nodded quietly. After a couple minutes, in silence we go back inside.

Walking in, Y/N was sitting peacefully on her phone.

"Hey, what are you still doing here?" she looked up at me.

"Just waiting for you, so we can go for a snack." with the same kind smile she always had, on.

"I'll be quick in the shower."

Walking into the showers I was met with a grinning Lea.

"I told you."

──✩₊⁺⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧──

Sitting in the usual spot we always did, I noticed for the first time the way she look at me. And maybe, just maybe the twinkle in her eyes, that I noticed very so often, was a sign of her adoration, that I've read wrong all along.

"You were crying..." it wasn't even a question, more of an statement.

"Not too much. I realized, I might have nothing to cry about."

"How's Ana settling in?" I cowardly change the subject.

"Good, I think she's really getting along with the new girl that arrived this week. Tainara, I think that's her name. It's nice to see, I know we didn't have much in common either.

Just didn't want her to go through what I did many times. Of arriving somewhere and feeling lonely and having a hard time making friends."

"I think it's lovely that you think so much about others. Wish I was more like that."

"You are one of the most considerate people I know."

"I'm so sorry."

"What? Why are you saying this?"

"Because I haven't been considerate with your feelings. I have made many mistakes, turning you down. I was unfair, but I swear it was never intentional." she reached across the table to place one of her hands on my cheek, holding it affectionately, as I lean on it.

"I know. That's the only reason I'm still here. You may have denied with words but your actions never lied." She caressed me softly.

"Do you really think I will be a cute granny?" she looked at me questionably.

"I will always think you're cute." and like it did many times before, her words made my stomach turn in excitement.

"Good. Because I want to grow old with you. I love you Y/N."

"I love you, Lena."

──✩₊⁺⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧──

Like, share and request! 🩷

[obliviouskara]

wouldn’t it be beautiful if there was a fic where kara would lose her memory and instead of being the number 1 lena luthor defender who has devoted her existence in making sure everyone knows lena is a good person kara would become the very same people she used to defend lena over. kara's judgment on lena would be base on her last name and nothing else. because she would forget seeing lena testify against her own brother during the trial all she would know of lena is that shares the same last name with the man that repeatedly tried to kill her cousin. the whole time this is happening, lena is still very much mad at supergirl or kara about the whole lying thing so mad that she might have been one of the reason why kara lost her memory however now with kara having no memory of her she feels like its pointless to be mad at someone who doesn’t even remember lying to you, who doesn’t even know who she is. so she puts her anger on a shelf and offers to help alex out. she doesn’t understand why she feels the need to help supergirl, her lying manipulative two faced ex-bestfriend but she does anyway. of course she does because she's lena luthor and she doesn't have to explain herself to anyone. she convinces herself that its because alex is asking for help. because its the right thing to do (not that she'd really cared about what's right or wrong every since their fallout with supergirl) but still. alex of all people is asking her for help which means its bad bad. alex who feels helpless and hopeless because kara is back to her old insecure self. she doesn’t even remember being supergirl and because she doesn’t remember saving alex from the plane kara doesn’t feel the need to become supergirl. she has no memory of being a superhero and she's very much content of being cat grant's assistant and nothing more. everything is overwhelming for her. alex just wants her sister to be okay. lena just wants to back at being mad again. sam is just in here for the ride and is very amused about the whole situation. its a mess and now alex is asking for lena's help because she has wasted countless deo resources but nothing is helping. Not that Kara is being any much of help because Kara feels overwhelmed and Kara just wants things to go back to how she remembers it. She doesn't want to accept the changes alex keeps on telling her and alex knows if there is one person that could bring kara's memory back — bring her sister back that would be lena.

but the thing is, kara doesn't like the idea of being close to a luthor. she doesn't even understand why out of all people alex would trust with their situation, it had to be lena luthor. now every time alex would bring lena up, she feels like she has to defend lena nonestop from kara's relentless accusations. talk about major irony. Kara has been nothing but:

"Why are you trusting her?! She's a Luthor?! What makes her so special??"

"They're evil, right? What if this is all some plot she has to kill me?!"

This feels like a huge slap in the face for alex but she carries on, exhausted she explains:

"Yes, majority of the luthors are still bad but she isn't"

"I dont know why she's different, okay? She just is"

this was so much easier when alex was doing all the accusing but she pushes forward

"We trust her. Yes, I trust her. You trusted her too, yknow?"

"Yes, I dont always trust your judgement but she's a good person. How do I know that? I don't know!! Will you just let her prick you with a kryptonite needle so we can go on with our lives!?!"

"why does she have kryptonite? she made it— its not that bad, i promise! she’s just super smart! stop floating away and come back here!”

what a mess would that be kara doesn’t even want to touch lena with a 10 foot pole. its very to hard catch an alien when she super speeds every chance she gets whenever she feels lena is close by. its frustrating and its taking longer than it should have. everyone feels like they're wasting time and should just accept this as how it is. the entire national city is looking for supergirl. she's been missing for months now. all while lena, lena takes it all in like a champ but deep down lena luthor is still mad. scorching hot mad. how dare kara forget every pain she has caused lena and is now actively avoiding her?! how dare this superhero just ups and leaves and stop being a superhero?! how dare her give up when lena hasn't even decided on her revenge for the years of deceit. its so unfair. its not suppose to hurt. she should be happy that kara doesn't remember her at all. this was what she wanted with myriad. a clean slate but why does it make her heart ache everytime kara tells her she's a luthor with so much distain. this was what she wanted, right? this would have made it easier for her to forget having feelings for her bestfriend but why does lena find herself trying to recreate every lunch date she has with kara danvers? so much so she brings her her favorite food whenever they stay in the same room. offers her snacks she knows she cant resist. kara doesn't understand why lena is being so nice. she still doesn't trust her but it makes her curious why lena's heart always beats differently whenever she's around. why lena looks at her the way she does. as if kara has stolen a piece of her heart. and kara doesnt understand whenever she eats her favorite food, all she thinks of is lena's shy smile whenever she accepts her takeout. whenever kara lets her touch her to examine her and its just a mess can someone please just...

[kj-yikes]

15. Scotch

(on ao3 here)

Alex’s apology (or as much of an apology as Lena would ever get from Alex Danvers) is the hardest.

Lena had poured everything she could into creating a device to track Kara so they could find her in the Phantom Zone. And she had succeeded, just for Alex to take the device from her to use it to find the Prime Phantom’s lair. In the moment that the device went flying towards Alex, all the hope she had for rescuing her best friend had drained from her heart. 

Lena’s standing on the balcony of the Tower, brows furrowed. She wipes a hand over her face in frustration with herself. She had been wrong to fight Alex about the tracker. She knew that Kara wouldn’t have wanted to be rescued like that, but didn’t Kara deserve it? After everything she had done for National City? For the world? For Lena?

Lena leans with her forearms against the railing, looking over the city that Supergirl had protected for years, and wonders if anyone else in the city has noticed the Girl of Steel’s absence yet. 

She is lost in thought when she hears a voice from behind her.

“I brought you a drink.” Lena turns over her shoulder and sees Alex, a glass of what looks like scotch in each hand. With a small smile that probably looks more like a grimace, Lena takes one.

“Thanks.”

Alex shifts to stand beside her as they both survey the scene before them, sipping their drinks.

“You were right about the crysalis,” Lena finally breaks the silence, swirling the liquid in her glass. “I'm sorry I fought you on it.”

Alex lets out a heavy sigh. “I understand why you did. That's a decision I didn't wanna have to make.”

“But you still made it,” Lena presses on, the few sips of alcohol loosening her up to sharing her feelings. “Listen, I am so grateful to be part of the team here in the Tower, but I don't think I belong.” Alex’s brow furrows.

“Why would you say that?”

Lena sighs. “Well, it's like you said. I need to stop atoning for the sins of the past.” She takes another sip of her scotch and continues. “And I am determined to do good in the world, but... you and J'onn, Brainy, and Nia, I'm not like you. You're true heroes. I know how much your sister means to you, Alex, and yet today, you made the most painful sacrifice because it was the right thing to do, and... I don't think I could do that.”

Alex's face contorts, as if she's just realizing something for the first time. She seems to consider this for a long moment. Finally, when Lena begins to think that perhaps Alex is trying to find a way to let her down easy, her voice cuts through the silence.

“How long?”

Lena looks up, confused. Alex appraises her with her dark brown eyes, somehow probing past the facade and walls that Lena tries so hard to keep standing. “How long have you been in love with her?”

Lena’s sharp inhale seems to echo on the balcony as she shuts her eyes in shock. Surely, Lena thought, this conversation was long overdue. But Lena can’t bring herself to say the words out loud.

Alex nods and turns her gaze over the city. “You know, years ago, on a different Earth, Kara and I stood on the balcony of the DEO overlooking the city, and she told me that she would always choose the world over the people she loves. She chose to send Mon-El away to save National City from the Daxamites. And I stood there thinking that I couldn’t have made the choice she did.” Alex lets out a small laugh, her arms leaning on the railing of the Tower’s balcony. “If it had been me, I wouldn’t have sent Maggie away to save the city. No way in hell I’d sacrifice Kelly, now.”

Lena glances over to see Alex looking intently back at her, as if she’s finally putting the pieces together.

“I fought Kara every time she swooped in to your rescue, defended you when all the evidence pointed against you. And I never understood why she was so willing to sacrifice everything for you, with all the baggage of your family and…well, your questionable methods of dealing with problems on your own. No offense.” Lena lets out a small, wet chuckle and shakes her head a little.

Alex’s eyes narrow, and Lena feels like she’s piercing into Lena’s soul. After a moment, Alex continues. “I had never seen Kara so upset, after she found out you knew that she’s Supergirl. And all I could think was, over a friend?" Alex shakes her head, red hair falling over her jawline. 

There’s a long pause. “But…I think I missed it. From both of you.” Lena stares at Alex as the silence ticks on.

”I know you must’ve been hurt that she didn’t tell you. That none of us did. But you have to know, it never came from a place of malice,” Alex’s voice is soft in the cool night air. The softness pierces through Lena’s skin and makes its way to her heart.

This group of people, this family, Kara – everything she’s always wanted for herself, but felt like she didn’t deserve. That she had always held at arms length, waiting for the moment that they would break her heart. That she had smashed through when, inevitably, her heart did break, in moments of self-sabotaging that she thought she could never recover from. Somehow, it all ended up back with them. Each of them, in their own way, telling Lena that she had belonged all along, even through mutual mistakes and heartbreaks. Them, together, all because of Kara.

Maybe, just maybe, if she allowed herself a moment of vulnerability, things could work out differently.

Alex seems unsure of what to say next, so she repeats,“How long have you been in love with my sister?”

Lena takes in a shuddering breath. “Since the moment she stepped into my office,” Lena confesses, a lone tear streaming down her face.

“Does she know?”

Lena’s voice is barely a whisper. “Not to my knowledge.”

There’s a long pause, as Alex considers her next words. “We’re going to find her. And you should tell her.” Lena’s head snaps up. 

“Are you serious?” Lena asks incredulously, wiping her eyes from the tears that have somehow made their way down her cheeks. 

“Yes, I’m serious!” Alex wraps her in a quick one-armed hug. “Luthor, I just laid out the evidence for both of us. If you think for a second that Kara doesn’t love you back, then, well, I don’t think I can help you.” 

Lena shakes her head, her dark ponytail blowing softly in the wind. “I don't think it's like that for her.”

”I don’t think Kara has ever loved anyone like she loves you,” Alex says simply. There’s a heavy pause as Lena lets the words sink in. "Maybe she doesn't realize it yet, but she will."

“We have to find her first,” Lena whispers. Alex grabs her hand and holds it fiercely.

”And we will. And we will keep National City safe while she’s gone, or Kara will have both of our asses,” Alex reprimands lightly. “You belong on this team, Lena. I don’t think we could do this without you.” Alex’s brown eyes sparkle in the moonlight. “And besides, you are the only one with a decent taste in scotch.” 

Lena lets out a loud laugh, relieved that Alex has lightened the mood a little. She holds her drink up in silent cheers to Alex. Gazing out over the city, they both take a long sip.

Lena sighs, feeling a small swell of hope for the first time in weeks. That’s about the closest thing she’ll ever get to acceptance from Alex Danvers, and tonight, she’ll take it.

[doudouneverte]

heyy, loved ur lena fic!

can u write felicitas rauch x reader where they are long distance girlfriends and feli is really insecure because she thinks that r would be better with another woman (maybe a teammate, that people think she's dating), and r says something like "i don't want easier, i want you"?

with a happy ending, please.

a/n: Thank you, I hope you will like this a/n2: I love Feli and Wolfsburg players but I need to tell you that I support Bayern Munich (but the VfL is a very good team to see play. p.s I love Ewa Pajor)

------

Only you

*not my GIF*

Pairing: Felicitas Rauch x Fem!Reader; Erin Cuthberth x Fem!Reader (best friend)

Summary: Based on the request above

Type: hurt/comfort

Warning: insecure Feli, and maybe me who love a little too much write arguments

word count: 3237

--------

Feli would never call herself a jealous person, and honestly, it was true, but let's just say that she had her doubts and insecurities like anyone.

You met the German defender one day when your parents moved to Berlin for work. There you joined the Turbine Potsdam, where she was starting her professional career, and you also met one of your best friends, Lia Walti. Being only two years younger than the defender helped you quickly bond with her, and after a few seasons with her, you asked her out, and you were on cloud nine when she said yes. After more dates, she became your girlfriend, and nothing has been the same since. Well, not really; you decided to keep your relationships private except for your two families and close friends; nobody knew, and that was like that even after you moved back to England.

In 2018, you signed a contract with Chelsea, a new adventure for you, and of course, your girlfriend was supportive of your decision. Until now, everything was perfect for you two. Even if you faced Wolfsburg in the Champions League in 2020 after Feli joined the Wolves, nothing could make you happier than being with your favorite German player.

Well, that was until lately. It was not a big deal since your first step in the club became a habit for the fan to see you and Erin Cutberth together. You were the same age, and you played rather near each other on the pitch, so it was logical that you would bond with her. And honestly, Feli thought the same thing at first too. And it wasn't like your relationship changed since you didn't play together anymore; you still spent your holidays with her and her family in Germany, and sometimes it was her who came to England to see you. The few people aware of your relationship with the defender agreed with the same idea: you were clearly one of these cute, powerful couples, and sometimes Lia teased you about how much you missed her and how you seemed desperate when you were both busy and couldn't see each other often. But honestly, it was not easy for you to not miss her; she has always been the reason you felt so peaceful in her home country since your first meeting.

You loved anything about her, from her biggest quality to her little flaws (even if you still tell her that she's perfect); you loved how she laughed every time you made a silly joke; how cute she was when you told her a random fact you learned on the internet; or when you told her about the book you read on the plane to Germany. You also loved how she touched you, the little thing she made only for you when you slept at hers, or how she looked like you hung the moon almost every time you two were in the same room. Sometimes you wonder how the fans didn't put the pieces together. Of course you were never reckless in public; she was the one who proposed to have a private relationship, and obviously you accepted even if you felt the need to scream to the world that this perfect woman was yours and you were hers.

This night, you were lying on your couch watching TV when your phone rang on the coffee table. When you saw who called, you immediately accepted the call with a big smile on your face. "Hi darling, how are you?" you asked.

"Hi leibing (darling), I'm good, and you? I know that's late and you had a game, but I just wanted to hear your voice. I hope I don't bother you." Your girlfriend replied.

"Of course not; I was just about to go to bed, but I wanted to hear your voice before," you said, standing up and turning off the TV before heading into your bedroom. "How was your day?" You knew that she had a day off today because she played the day before, and she told you she would spend the day with some teammates.

"It was very good..." And then she started to tell you about her day, and you listened until she noticed you were ready to pass out. "Hey, it's okay, baby; you can sleep; we will talk tomorrow."

"I'm not tired." You mumbled, trying to stay awake.

"Yeah, sure." She said sarcastically.

"Ich liebe dich (I love you)" You said finally accepting to let your body rest.

"I love you too, meine Liebe (my love)" She blowed you a kiss that you reciprocated before hanging up.

The next day, like promised, you had a morning call with your girlfriend; she continued her story, and you were very attentive to any details until you saw a text from one of your teammates. Noticing a little change in your expression, Feli couldn't stop her curiosity.

"What's funny?" She asked.

"Oh nothing, Erin just tag me on Instagram. I think it's photos from yesterday's game." You replied.

"Oh, I see." The defender spoke casually, and you didn't notice the little change in her voice. The phone call ended only a half hour later, letting the German defender alone with her thoughts, and that resulted in her opening Instagram and rushing to see Erin's new post.

Like you said, it was photos from the previous game, which meant some pics with teammates, and it was okay until she found the one where you were tagged on. It was just a picture of her and you a little close (maybe too close for her) and laughing at something. Yeah, nothing special, but things went wrong when she opened the comments. A wave of comments like 'best team' or 'look at their smiles' for your girlfriend it was okay; you didn't really have control over what fans could say, but when she saw Zecira commenting 'best work wives' something snapped in her.

And the worst part was when she saw some teammates agreeing and you teased them instead of disagreeing. We're not going to lie, at this moment the defender was less than happy about that, but she knew you; you loved to tease people, and it was not like fans would misinterpret something like this...'best couple in my book'. Okay, now she had a good reason to freak out; even if it was a lonely comment, it was liked by too many people. Fortunately, she didn't have too much time to think about it because she needed to get ready for training.

At the training, everyone noticed that she didn't perform like she should; she seemed worried about something, but no one understood why. Despite her teammates worries, Feli didn't tell them anything; it's not that she didn't trust them; she just thought that it was childish of her to be jealous of your best friend. But some questions were stuck in her mind even if she wanted to focus on football, and that was evident the next weekend. Unfortunately for her, it was a game against Bayern Munich, and she knew she wasn't at 100%. And it showed on the pitch; Wolfsburg lost 1-0.

Later this evening, you called her a little preoccupied by her state and how she seemed absent during the game. "Hi honey, how are you?" You greeted her with a big smile, but she didn't reciprocate it. "Feli, are you okay?"

"Uh, yeah, don't worry. I'm just overwhelmed by some thoughts recently." She replied shyly.

"Okay, do you want me to let you sleep, or do you want to talk about it?" You asked.

"No, it's okay; I want to talk, but not about it, at least not tonight, please."

"Yeah, okay. But you know that you can talk to me whenever you want; I'll always be here for you."

"I know; thank you, Y/n, but not tonight, please." You frowned when you heard her call you by your name; it was not really a good thing when she called you like that.

"Sorry. Uh, I bought you something today; don't move." You got up from your bed and ran to get a bag. "Here, look at this; aren't they cute?" You asked her showing off a few shirts and a sweat. "I know you told me to stop buying you stuff, but I also know that you loved when I let my sweat at your home, so I brought this."

"You know that I love your clothes just because they smell like you, so I like this, but..." She stopped when you left the bed again and quickly came back.

"I know that, so," you said, taking your perfume and starting to spray the clothes, making her laugh. "Yes, I did it." You announced proudly.

"what?"

"I make you smile. I knew that you would be sad after the game, but when you took so long to respond to my text and didn't smile when I called you, I started to worry." You confessed, making Feli feel a little ashamed to let her thoughts make you worry.

"I'm sorry, meine Liebe. I promise I'll work on what's bothering me." She reassured you.

"I hope so because Svenja called me two days ago and said that you were not really yourself at training." Your girlfriend rolled her eyes; of course her captain would tell you that. "Hey, I know that you don't like when I'm worried about you, but I'm your girlfriend, Feli. I want to know when you don't feel good; I shouldn't have to wait until someone else tells me."

"It's nothing, Y/n." She said a little irritated by the conversation.

"And you continue."

"What do you mean?"

"It's the second time you've called me Y/n tonight. I don't know what's happening, but if I did something that didn't please you, I'm sorry."

"Not everything is about you." She said more angrily than she wanted. "Can't you just stop?"

"Sorry to be a careful girlfriend who tries to support you." You replied with an angry tone now.

"Oh, now you remember that you're my girlfriend? It's a little late for that."

"What--what do you mean?"

"Nevermind. I'm tired. Good night." She didn't let you reply before she hung up.

In your bedroom, you were confused, sad, angry, and hurt at the same time. You didn't like what you felt at this moment, but despite the need to call her back, you decided to give her some space. Since you two started to date, it was very unusual that you'd raise your voice against each other, and it was even more exceptional when you two argued. Tonight you tried to sleep with a bad feeling in your heart and some tears running down your face.

In Germany, Felica was also feeling bad. She knew that with that argument, she just broke two important rules for the both of you. First, never argue before one of you has to play, and you still had a game against Manchester City the next day. Second, never sleep angry at each other. She messed up; she knew that, but she promised herself that she would try to make up for it as soon as possible.

The next day, you were one of the first ones on the bus to Manchester. You sat against the window, tired because of your lack of sleep the previous night. You spiraled almost all the night before your body gave up around 4 a.m.When you woke up, you checked your phone, but Feli didn't text you, making you start the day at your lowest.

The other players gradually filled the seats, and like usual, Erin sat next to you, but when you kept spacing out and didn't notice her presence, she started to worry a little. "Hey, Y/n/n, are you okay?" She asked, placing her hand on your shoulder.

You snapped back to reality, making a little noise of surprise. "Yeah, sorry, I just didn't sleep well last night." And it was in this state that you played against Manchester City; of course, you were subbed off at the start of the second half when Emma realized that you were not in your best form to play the whole ninety minutes.

Back in London, you first thought of taking a shower and sleeping, but you needed to change your plans when, after your shower, you saw a text from Erin asking you if you were okay. You replied yes, but she continued to worry, and you finished by calling her and talking about last night.

The next day in Germany, Feli was training, but again, she wasn't herself, and that was because she spent the entire Sunday thinking about you. She watched your game; she saw that you seemed tired even before the game started, and deep in her, she knew it was because of her. At the end of the training, she pulled Alex and Svenja away from the rest of the group and the two girls.

"You fucked up, right?" Svenja asked, and your girlfriend nodded.

"But how do you know?" She asked.

"Because last night AKB called me, and even if Y/n didn't tell her anything, it was obvious that you two argued before her game. And according to how she played and how she seemed rather sad on the pitch, I concluded that you fucked up." Now the defender felt a little embarrassed; was it so obvious?

"Listen, we don't want to act like everything is your fault because we know it's not. It's just that we know sometimes you can be insecure, and it's okay; it's totally normal, but you shouldn't let your insecurities take over. You know that Y/n loves you more than anyone, and we know that too. Everybody who once saw you together knows how much you mean for each other." Alex said this time. "We don't know what she did, and we don't want to interfere in your relationship, but I think that you should let her explain whatever she did." The striker added, leaving the defender speechless and processing everything.

"Hey, it's okay. I'm sure she would forgive you; she can't live without you." The short captain said.

For you, the day was more calm. You texted your girlfriend, hoping that she would reply before the end of the day. After you spent the rest of your day with some teammates, you talked about your next game, which would be the second leg of the Champions League quarterfinal against Lyon. Even if you won the first game, you knew that you couldn't underestimate them.

Because of the preparation for the Champions League, you and Feli haven't talked since the last call. You were both busy, of course, but you also didn't want to argue again before a big game like this.

It should be okay after that. Feli wanted to apologize, but again her insecurities won when, after your game, she saw some posts about it and, more importantly, yours, particularly a picture with the Scottish midfielder. You were close; someone could misinterpret anything with how you looked at your teammates. Your girlfriend told herself that you were just overwhelmed by your emotions after knocking out the best team in Europe, but the fan's comments and the little red heart left in the comment section of your post by Erin broke something in her.

The night you waited for her to text you, but nothing came; you called, but she never picked up; you tried to text her, but nothing. The next day, it was her match against PSG; you watched it and couldn't help but feel bad about your situation with your girlfriend. So after the game, an idea popped into your head. The weekend you played against Aston Villa After coming back home, you took a quick shower and ordered a cab to the Eurostar. More than 10 hours later, you finally reached your destination. You were lucky that Wolfsburg played their last game at home.

It was early in the morning when Feli heard someone ring the doorbell. She groaned and was ready to send back whoever was there, but she froze when she opened the door. "Hey," you said when you noticed that she was too confused to talk. "Can I come in?" you asked, and without saying anything, she just nodded and stepped aside. "I miss this place," you said when you entered the house. A few seconds later, you were greeted by your girlfriend's dog. "Oh, little angel, I missed you," you cooed.

The German seemed to come back to her senses after a moment; she cleared her throat, gaining your attention. "Uh, what are you doing here?" she asked.

"I'm doing what should have been done earlier," you said, walking to the living room, followed by the defender.

"Wich is?" 

"Feli, do you love me?" You asked ignoring her question on purpose.

"Wait what? Of course I love you." She said while sitting beside you. "What makes you think that I don't love you?"

"Because of the last few weeks. You and I acted like we didn't know each other. I texted you, and you didn't even read them." You cupped her face and forced her to look at you. "Tell me honestly. What did I do to make you act like that?" You asked, and she saw the tears in your eyes.

She sighed and took your hand. "You didn't do anything. Well, not you." 

"Then who?" You asked, but she didn't reply; she just looked at her feet, a little ashamed.

"Nevermind, it's silly." She declared before standing up.

"No, it's not, Feli. If something bothers you, then it's bothering me too."

"Dann sagen Sie ihnen (Then tell them)." She told you, making you confused.

"Who?"

"Everyone. The fan, your teammates...Erin." The name of your best friend confused you more.

"What do you mean, meine Liebe?" But you didn't wait for her response until you reached her and were engulfed in her tight hug.

"I saw the comments," she admitted, sobbing on your shoulder.

"I'm sorry, my love." You placed your hand on her chin, making her look at you. "Hey, look, I know what people think, but they're wrong, you hear me? I love you, Felicitas, and nothing can change this. I don't care what other people think; I don't want the easy way; I want you, and only you."

She looked at you with glossy eyes and a light smile.

"I'm sorry that you ever felt like I would let you. I love you too much for that." You added. She wipped her tears before colliding her lips with yours. "God, I missed those lips," you said after she pulled away. "Now can we go cuddle because I'm a little tired of the trip?" She nodded, and you followed her.

In the bedroom, you were on her bed, cuddling as if it were the last time. "I'm sorry." she said quietly, trying not to break the atmosphere.

"For what?" 

"I should tell you about that instead of giving you the silent treatment."

"Don't worry, it's okay. Just the next time, I want you to talk to me about that and anything else that could bother you." 

"I promise I will." She said this before kissing your head. "Sleep, my love; I'll be there when you wake up."

"Feli?"

"Hmmm?"

"Ich liebe dich"

"I love you too, meine Liebe."

[cardcaptorsakura96]

Taxes, Taxes, Taxes-Chapter 1

Summary: What if superheroes had to pay a property damage tax every time they had a fight in the city?

Kara is seated at a cubicle in her Supergirl costume staring at a typical pencil pusher hurriedly typing in the numbers. She looked around and saw Clark sitting in another cubicle behind her. He turned around and wave. 

“Let me know if you need any help!” 

Kara winced, hurriedly turned back around, and slouched in her chair. She looked back at the desk and saw the paper that brought her here. She was being charged $10,000 in property damage to the city while as Supergirl. Clark got the same paper, but he only has to pay $5. Her eyes started glowing red in rage while she gripped the chair. She closed her eyes and took several deep breaths.

 “I hate being jealous, but it isn’t fair! I was supposed to be his defender, not the other way around. I even had military training before coming to Earth, but Clark makes everything here seem so effortless. It just makes me feel….irrelevant.”

It was a sobering thought that had been haunting Kara each day. If she couldn’t serve her purpose, what was she going to do? She was nearly drowning in her sorrows and self-hatred when she felt the office lady’s hand on her arm. She looked up at the lady and saw she had a cheerful disposition. Kara forced the smile back into her eyes and lips. 

“I am sorry that I drifted off there….um Connie. Isn’t that your name?”

“Oh, you remember my name!”

Connie’s smile looked so genuine. Kara would have found it cute if this pencil pusher wasn’t about to clear her out of cash. She forced her smile even brighter hoping to charm the pants off this lady to lower the cost down.

“Yes. I try to be good with names as I can. Were you able to find anything that can bring the cost of the bill down?”

Connie’s smile grew dimmer. 

“Shit!”

“Well, we can’t lower the cost…”

“Even though this is my first time?” said Kara with a pout on her face. 

She wasn’t above groveling. She didn’t have this type of money, and she will be damned if she had to beg Clark for help.

“I know this seems very steep, but when villains and superheroes fight in the city, it causes a lot of property damage. The tax was created to help discourage these types of situations.”

“Even when we are saving the city?”

“If there was no way to get the villain out of the city, there would be little to no charge.”

“Which is what happened in my case.”

Connie’s face fell a little and started twisting her hands.

“Well, not exactly. While fighting Livewire, you took out several buildings before taking her down.”

“Yes, I remember.”

“Property could have been saved if you had utilized the fire hydrant and open pool in the area to stop Livewire due to her water vulnerability instead of using brute force.”

Kara slid further in her seat and sighed.

“I could have been more careful, but I was just in a hurry to prove I could do things faster than Clark.”

Kara looked back and saw that Clark had finished his payment and left. She looked back to Connie solemnly and asked, “What can I do now? Is there some type of payment plan I can do since I don’t have that type of money on me?”

Connie smiled a bit and said, “There are tons of options. We have a variety of payment plans, or we have different volunteer opportunities that you can choose to work off the payment.”

Connie passed her the book of all their volunteer opportunities and perused it for a minute. She was bored until one entry caught her attention and brought a smirk to her face. 

“I choose this one.”

Kara watched Connie’s face changed at her choice from a smile to a frown instantly. 

“Umm, are you sure you want to do this type of work.”

Kara smiled, and said, “Why wouldn’t I want to bring smiles to sick kids in a Children’s Hospital?”

“But…um… it is run by Lena…”

“Luthor. Oh, I am aware. I believe in judging people for their merit and not by association.”

“Okay, if you’re sure.”

“Oh, I am sure.”

“Me working for the sister of Clark’s greatest enemy. This will so get under his skin.”

Kara laughed wickedly as Connie eyes her warily while signing her up for the volunteer gig. 

[spaceman-earthgirl]

Supercorptober Day 24: Enchanted

ao3 fic link. series link.

The Room of Requirement is Lena’s favourite place at Hogwarts. She’d found it in second year when she’d needed a place to hide from Morgan Edge and his little gang of bullies.

She’s in sixth year now and she still uses the room regularly. Sometimes it appears as a study room, sometimes it’s just a place to hang out that isn’t the common room. Other times it appears in various forms to help her study. Just yesterday, there were dueling dummies lining the wall to help her with her jinxes.

Today, it’s very similar to their potions classroom down in the dungeons, except this room is way brighter. There are ingredients lining the wall and a cauldron set up in the middle. She may be top of the class and not necessarily need the extra work, but this is how she stays at the top.

The door opens just as she finishes the potion she’s working on and Lena looks up to see Kara walking towards her. It’s always Kara, the room never lets anyone else in except for her. It’s like the room knows, just as much as she needs this space, this place away from people where she doesn’t have to worry about anyone harassing her for her last name, she needs Kara too.

“It’s a beautiful day outside and it’s a Saturday, what are you doing in here?”

“What does it look like I’m doing?” Lena retorts. What she doesn’t say was that she was just waiting for Kara to finish Quidditch practice, knew that Kara would coming looking for her when she was done.

Kara rolls her eyes, and Lena realises her mistake immediately as Kara steps forward and peers over the edge of the cauldron. She should have just told Kara what she was doing, lied about what type of potion she was making. All she’d wanted to do was try out an advanced potion, and she’d made it perfectly, but it also means that Kara is going to know exactly what potion she’s made because it’s very distinctive.

Lena may be top of the class, but Kara is a close second.

Kara smirks as soon as she realises what the potion is. She glances at Lena. “Amortentia? Are you making a love potion? And just who were you planning on giving this to?”

Lena goes red immediately. If Lena was going to give it to anyone, it would be Kara. Not that she ever would, she would never take that choice away from anyone, but Lena has been head over heels in love with Kara since second year and she’d hexed Edge and got sent to the Headmasters office while defending her.

“I..uhh…”

Kara steps closer, bumps her shoulder with Lena’s. Lena breathes in, Kara’s shampoo filling her nostrils, the same smell that’s wafting from the potion in front of her.

It’s supposed to smell like whatever you’re attracted to. It’s no surprise that it smells like Kara to her.

“So, there is someone?” Kara grins, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.

Lena rolls her eyes. “No, I’m just practicing. I wanted to try a more advanced potion.”

“And it looks perfect,” Kara observes, leaning over the cauldron again. She takes a deep breath, closes her eyes as she takes in whatever she’s smelling. “That smells so good.”

Lena smiles. “It’s supposed to.” 

“What does it smell like to you?” Kara asks, curious eyes finding hers.

Lena leans forward, breathes in again, the smell making her feel warm and happy. “It smells like parchment,” Lena starts, earning a quiet “nerd” from Kara. With anyone else, it would feel like an insult, but Kara says it with so much affection it just makes her feel warm again. “It also smells like something sweet, something flowery that I can’t quite identify.” A lie, it’s definitely Kara’s cherry shampoo. “And it smells like chocolate.” Which Kara inexplicably always smells like too, whether she’s eaten any recently or not.

“Lena Luthor, are you secretly a sweet tooth?”

Lena laughs, knew Kara would latch on to that part. “I’m just telling you what it smells like. What about you?”

“Like freshly cut grass and that smell of the air when it’s about to rain. And…” Kara pauses, eyes flickering to Lena’s again but this time holding her gaze. “And it smells like lavender.”

For a long drawn-out moment, Lena is confused. Kara loves being outside, her favourite place is the Quidditch pitch, so her answer make sense. But Kara is looking at her like she’s trying to tell her something.

Kara chews on her bottom lip, still watching her but Lena’s just not getting it.

“What-“

“You smell like lavender.”

Lena’s breath catches. “Oh.”

Kara’s eyes are anxious now as they flit across Lena’s face. “Is that okay? It doesn’t have to mean anything, I just wanted you to know.”

And now Lena is struggling to breath, her heart beating rapidly in her chest. She takes a deep breath, inhaling both the potion and Kara’s shampoo, the smell mixing and making her feel dizzy.

“I lied.”

Kara frowns. “You lied?”

“I know what the amortentia smells like.”

“What-“

“It smells like your shampoo. And did you know you always smell like chocolate? I don’t understand it and I don’t even like chocolate that much but it smells so good on you.”

“That’s ridiculous, who doesn’t like chocolate? It’s delicious.”

“Just like I think pumpkin pasties are delicious,” Lena points out.

Kara pulls a face. “You’re definitely wrong about that, but I think we’re getting side tracked. If I’m following this conversation correctly, how would you feel about going to Hogsmeade with me next weekend?”

Lena’s breath catches again. “Are you asking me out on a date?”

Kara nods her head, the movements almost frantic. Clearly, they’re both nervous.

Lena smiles. “Then yes, I’d love to.”

Kara’s face breaks into a wide smile too. “Really?”

Lena takes a leap, even though Kara has already taken a much bigger one, and she reaches out and takes Kara’s hand. “I’d love nothing more.”

[susellesie]

my opinion on s2 Alicent is that house of the dragon needs to be different from game and thrones, and that most of the criticism of house of the dragon is a reactionary instinct to relive certain beloved characters and tropes from game of thrones.

let me be clear; house of the dragon as a show is already going into characterization with a lot of options for characters and tropes off the board because they've already been done in game of thrones. they're already going to have to work with the instinctual assumption from the audience to relate back to what they know. rhaenyra = daenerys, otto = tywin, and alicent = cersei.

now, obviously these aren't exact matches. i'm talking about sweeping personality and the tropes they march. cersei, specifically, is the trope of the feral mother. she kills for her kids (in the books at least - technically in the show too, but that was revenge and i'm talking about premeditated murder) she lives and dies by her kids. her ethical code, goals, all of it rests on her children.

and cersei is an amazing character. she's fascinating to read and watch, and lena headey's performance will live in my brain forever. but cersei is one of the main characters throughout game of thrones. and say what you want about season 8- god knows i won't defend it - but her arc ends there, for better or for worse, after all her children have died before her.

now, years after watching game of thrones slowly decline and eventually bomb in the final two seasons, the show writers are tasked to explore these new characters in a prequel. to be the first "new" asoiaf content to air on television since. the reality of house of the dragon is that it has to be different from game of thrones. it just does. hotd has to be its own show with its own characters.

so, here's what i'm getting at; alicent is the deconstruction of the trope of motherly devotion.

alicent in season one has the exact same ethical code as cersei; do whatever to protect my children. even if that means taking the throne from my childhood best friend, even if that means forcibly removing her from power. and in driftmark, this escalates, if only temporarily - alicent shows a willingness to harm a child to avenge the harm that has been done to hers.

asoiaf have always asked tough questions of the reader. what do you do if someone hurts someone you love? how do you act with honor if honor gets you killed? cersei's character asks an audience a question: what would you do to protect your children? and to the audience, that question is simple, it's easy. anything. it's the thing that redeems cersei when her actions are irredeemable; she does it out of love.

alicent's character asks a different question is season two, one that i think will be explored more in season three. what would it take for you to stop supporting your children?

no matter what joffrey does, cersei is a bystander to it, and often an accomplice. that is the devotion that makes up her character, and the trope she represents in the story. alicent is the deconstructed answer cersei's dilemma, and i think ultimately what cooke, condal & co. are trying to say is that there is a reality where "a mother's love" is a trope.

think about media today. think about the characters we think of when we think about mothers. cersei, cat, rhaenyra? all mothers so devoted they die for it. the concept of a mother's love is so idolized by the media that we don't think about the woman behind the mother. the woman becomes more mother than person, a shield for children both good and evil. (not talking about George's wrting - i'm talking about the way people view these characters commonly.)

and it's unrealistic. it just is. for every mother who is completely and utterly devoted to their good, well behaved child there is another who has raised a child who ended up committing sexual violence, or domestic abuse, or hurting others in general. and that's not to say children/people who grow up to do these things do not deserve to be loved by their mothers - that's to say the expectation that mothers should always be not only forgiving, but silently accepting and an accomplice to the actions of their children is not the feminist trope people might think it is.

cersei is already the example of the dedicated mother. we saw that arc play out on screen. Alicent is the deconstruction of the devoted mother who is tested beyond belief. who is challenged in the worldviews she has held her entire life. and the decision at the end of season 2 - the decision to choose rhaenyra over her son, half dead, who never took ruling seriously, who sought revenge by killing innocents, is something many dedicated mothers have had to do in their lives too.

it's not an easy thing to stomach, because we have been told through media our entire lives that a mother who does not choose or defend her children is the evilest of evil. but that is an antiquated trope for a reason.

we have to be able to move past the reactionary instinct to desire the things that make us comfortable, and one of the things that makes us comfortable are the tropes we rely on. alicent's s2 characterization is the deconstruction of that trope.

[chaotic-super]

The Vampire Woman - Chapter 23

Read it on AO3 here!

If Kara had the strength to do so, she would be pacing the length of the apartment right now but her legs just can’t sustain the energy levels required for anxious activities right now so instead she’s sat on a chair in the living room, her head tilted back, and she’s staring at the ceiling.

Lena is watching her from across the room but she’s got her laptop on her lap and she’s using it as a shield to hide herself so it’s not as obvious that she’s spending more time staring at her than she is working. To be fair, she’s gotten a few emails done and by a few, that means three in the last hour. Better than nothing.

Her mind isn’t focused at all. She wants to focus on her work but she’s struggling. She always struggles when she tries to work from home but this is immensely harder. Having Kara here is the perfect distraction to keep her from doing all of the things she needs to do and the position Kara’s sitting in definitely doesn’t help.

The way her neck is stretched back and oh-so-beautiful is a distraction in its greatest form. Part of her wonders if the beauty of this woman’s neck is what drew her towards her and created such a need to have her when she first encountered her but that thought is pushed away pretty quickly because the first time they met, she didn’t look at her neck, she just saw an easy target and went from there.

Classifying Kara as an easy target was her biggest mistake. She charmed her way out of being bitten the first time and then fought her way out with impressive garlic-throwing skills the next. She survived a fight with a bunch of savage vampires outside of L-Corp and then killed Lillian to defend herself inside. She’s a force to be reckoned with and you wouldn’t even know it just by looking at her now, her pouty face all soft lines and her nervous hands twitching in an unfamiliar rhythm against her thighs.

“She’s going to be here soon.” Kara looks down at her watch and tells Lena. “I don’t know how to explain it all to her without lying but I think I might have to.”

“You don’t have to outwardly lie, Kara, you just have to omit certain truths. You can say people broke into your apartment, you can say that someone from that group hurt you and you’re recovering. Hell, you can even say that you killed one in self-defence and it would be fine, but I’m not sure telling your boss you killed someone is a great idea.”

Kara sinks even further back. “I don’t know how to feel about that.”

“About lying to your boss by telling very specific truths?”

“No, about the fact that I killed Lillian. I’ve been trying to be ok with it, if I hadn’t, I would definitely be dead right now, even more dead than I was before you saved me, but I killed someone and I’m not sure how I’m meant to deal with that.”

Lena pushes the lid to her laptop closed. She’s not going to get any work done now. “It’s normal to have guilt over someone dying, Kara. She might have already been dead but as far as vampires go, we do feel pretty alive. I just…I think the world is safer without Lillian in it but I wish the burden of that happening wasn’t put on you.”

“I deserve it.”

“Why would you even say that?” Lena frowns, the laptop now being moved to a side table so she can lean forward, her elbows coming to rest on her knees.

“I felt bad after I hurt her the first time. It was me that made you bring her inside and so it’s my fault she was able to kill people inside the building. I didn’t know Ted Carlson very well but he didn’t deserve to get bitten and die. Vasquez didn’t deserve to die either. She was nice to me and I could tell she was a good person but now she’s dead and I’m left here wondering why I’m still alive when three people are dead because of me.”

“They aren’t dead because of you, Kara. They’re dead because of Lillian. You felt bad for hurting someone, which certainly doesn’t make you a bad person. The bad person in this situation is Lillian and she’s responsible for the deaths of Carlson and Vasquez. You’re not to blame but I know you don’t believe me. I’ll keep reminding you though, maybe one day you will believe that I’m telling the truth.

Kara shrugs. “I hope so too because it hurts.”

Lena looks down at her feet. The pain within Kara is palpable and while it’s taken a while for it all to sink in for Kara, which is understandable given everything else she’s been dealing with on top of it all, and it makes Lena feel like the worst person on the planet.

She’s hurt far more people than Kara has. She’s killed far more people than Kara has and yet she’s here completely composed while Kara is shattering on the inside. Perhaps it’s because it’s been so long or perhaps it’s just because she’s so numb to the concept of death now that it doesn’t hold as much weight to her anymore, but either way, she’s sure she doesn’t feel even half the pain Kara’s feeling right now.

Kara sniffs and looks down at her watch again. “She’s probably on her way up now. She’s not one to be late for things like this. The only time she’s ever late is when she’s going to galas because she likes to make a point that nobody is worth her time.”

“That’s very Cat Grant of her.”

“It really is.”

Three knocks are all they get when Cat finally does arrive. Kara makes to stand up but Lena sees the shake of her arms and the struggle to do so. It’s not as bad as it was and she is slowly getting better but she hasn’t been out in the sun yet today so she’s not as strong as she can be. Lena pushes her back down onto the chair with a steady hand on her shoulder and goes to get the door herself.

If Cat is surprised to see her answering the door instead of Kara, she does a good job of hiding it because there’s not so much as a raised eyebrow or a twitch of her lips.

“Come in,” Lena mutters as Cat starts making her way inside before she’s even had time to start opening the door wider so she can get by without having to turn on her side to squeeze through the gap.

She doesn’t wait for Lena to show her where to go either, she just wanders through the apartment with her eyes searching for the woman she came to see, a woman who isn’t Lena.

“Kara,” Cat says, taking a seat on the couch that is at a ninety-degree angle from the chair Kara is sitting on. She angles her body towards her and places her bag and the laptop bag she’s brought with her on the floor at her feet. “How are you?”

“I’m getting better and I’ll be even better now I can get some work done, I’m going stir crazy not having anything to do.” Kara smiles but Cat can see how unsteady it is and the fake undertones to everything she’s saying.

Cat shakes her head. “You’re lying to me, Kiera.”

“Ms Grant—”

“Tell me how you really are.” Cat cuts her off.

Kara takes a deep breath and her head drops down so she can stare at the floor. She can’t look her in the eyes while she says this. “I’m struggling.”

Cat’s voice responds in a tone much softer than usual. “Thank you for telling me that.”

Kara nods and Lena walks in. “Hey, Kara. Do you want me to stay or shall I go and be busy somewhere else?”

Lena receives a tight-lipped smile. “I’ll be fine, thanks, Lena.”

She grabs her laptop from where she left it on the side table and pats Kara’s shoulder on the way past her as she heads for her bedroom. She’ll go and hang out in there while Cat is here and give them some space.

Neither Kara nor Cat speaks until they hear the clicking of the door behind Lena, at which point Cat asks the obvious question. “So, you are now in a relationship with Lena Luthor?”

Kara flails for a moment. “I—I…No. We’re not together like that. We’re just friends.”

“But you want more. Don’t lie to me, you forget the way I saw you pine for James for a while before you finally clued into his mediocrity.”

Kara’s head rolls to one side in defeat. She’s never had the ability to hide her feelings from Cat, always either way too transparent or too easy for someone with impeccable reporting skills like Cat to read. “It’s complicated.”

“I doubt that,” Cat responds. “I think it’s actually very simple.”

“You do?”

Cat nods once. “Yes. You like her, that much is obvious and by the way I’ve seen her act around you, even for the few moments it was, it’s very clear she has feelings for you too.”

Kara’s eyebrows furrow, replaying her brief interaction with Lena in her mind. “I don’t understand.”

“She’s protective of you. She was protective of you on the phone when she tried to ban me from seeing you and she was protective of you when she came in here to ask you if you wanted her to stay. She likes you, Kara, don’t be blind.”

“Oh.” Kara’s eyes widen.

Cat rolls her eyes at Kara. “I thought we had gotten past the point where I have to hold your hand through life so you don’t miss it.”

Kara ducks her head for a second time. “Thank you, Ms Grant. You’ve given me a lot to think about.”

“Oh no, you’re not thinking about anything. When you think, you back out of whatever it is that scares you. As soon as I leave you’re going to grab that woman and kiss her because the tension in this apartment is so thick it’s suffocating. Got it?”

“I…” Kara hesitates.

“If you don’t kiss her, I will.”

“Ok, I’ll talk to her after.” Kara gives in.

Cat shakes her head. “I said kiss, not talk.”

“I can’t just walk up to her and kiss her.”

“Sure you can. Your lips work because you’re using them to argue with me and you’re wasting your breath. I’m helping you sort out your love life here, or your severe lack of a love life.”

Kara buries her face in her hands. “I’ll handle it, Ms Grant, can we please just move on?”

“I suppose it’s best we do because you look seconds away from having a stroke just at the prospect of having a life like an ordinary human being.” Cat shifts her weight, uncrossing her legs and then recrossing them the other way. “So, tell me about your apartment.”

Kara relaxes again, not fully but she’s back to the level she was before Cat brought up her feelings for Lena. She’s prepared for the questions about what happened to her, she was not prepared for the questions about her relationship with Lena. “What do you want to know first?”

“Just start at the beginning.”

Kara’s head moves in a nodding motion as she filters through what happened so she can try and pick out the parts she can talk about. “Well, my apartment got broken into and it was done by a group of people from Lena’s past. I think they were targeting her company because she’s got some really impressive stuff coming up, the articles I was going to write were going to talk all about them.

“Somehow, I think they must have found out I was going to write the articles and they targeted me. My apartment got trashed when I wasn’t there and I got attacked by one of them. I don’t know exactly who they are and neither does Lena but she recognises them.”

Cat gasps when Kara reveals that she was attacked by someone. She was expecting it but that’s nothing quite like having someone straight up admit to being assaulted. “You were hurt badly?”

Kara takes a sharp breath in. “Yeah. It was a bad fight.”

Leaning forward, Cat does something that takes Kara by surprise, she covers Kara’s hand with her own. “What happened to the person that attacked you? Were they stopped or caught or did they get away?”

“None of the above,” Kara replies, her voice tight. “I killed her.”

A heavy sigh is the only response she gets. The hand on her own doesn’t get pulled back, it doesn’t tighten, she doesn’t go tense, she just takes the information for what it is.

“It was a one-on-one fight. She tried to kill me and it was close but I won. I’m not so sure as though that’s something I should be happy about though.” Kara’s eyes fill with tears she doesn’t want to cry. She’s not sure she deserves to be able to cry.

Kara’s head shoots up when Cat stands up, pulling her hand back finally. She watches as Cat picks up the bags and is expecting her to leave her, probably out of disgust or something akin to it, but she doesn’t leave, she moves the bags and puts them on the other chair on the other side of the couch and moves over from where she was sitting before on the couch. “Come here.” Cat gestures to the space where she was just sitting.

Kara reacts quickly, so quickly in fact that she trips part way through getting up. In her rush to get to Ms Grant, she forgot that her legs are still shaky and she has to take it slow to her left leg buckles beneath her and she has to catch herself on the arm of the couch.

Cat’s arms dart out to steady her. “Here, let me help you.”

With the help of Cat, Kara manages to sit down carefully beside her without becoming out of breath. “Thanks.”

“Kara, I want you to look at me now,” Cat announces, her voice as commanding as she can make it. Once Kara meets her eyes, she holds her gaze, unblinking. “You are not to blame for that woman’s death. Killing someone in self-defence isn’t murder and she’s the only person to blame. You deserve to be happy and live the rest of your life knowing that you deserve it.”

Kara tears her eyes away from Cat’s. “I don’t know how to do that, Ms Grant.”

She’s pulled into Cat’s embrace in a flurry of movement and the physical comfort is everything she needs for the dam to finally break and the tears to spring free.

“Oh, Kiera. You’re much too innocent for this world. What you do is you keep going. You hold your head up high and you live your life in a way that makes you happy. You can be sad and you can mourn and you can get stuck in the past but what does that achieve other than to destroy one more life? You can add so much good into this world if you live up to your potential and you will have people with you every step of the way, of that I’m certain.”

Tears pour freely down Kara’s face and heaving sobs force their way free from Kara’s throat. She’s just so emotionally drained by this point that she doesn’t even know how to being to process everything that’s happened since she met Lena. She’s been attacked a whole bunch of times; a bunch of really terrible and traumatizing things have happened and the person that has brought all of this to her feet is super hot and she has a crush on her. It’s not ideal.

“God, I’m a mess.” Kara cries, her hands clinging to the back of Cat’s shirt.

“That’s ok. We’re all a little messy at times.” A hand rests on the back of Kara’s head, stroking gently.

They remain in that position until Kara’s tears stop and then she pulls back and uses her sleeves to wipe her face. “I’ll be ok.”

“You will. We’ll all make sure of it.” Cat holds onto Kara’s shoulders, the pressure an attempt to ground her. “You’re not dealing with anything alone. Now, this is very important, Kara. How is everything going with the police? Is there a threat that you could be charged with anything?”

Kara’s eyes widen. She didn’t think about that. “Um, I don’t…I’m not sure. Lena has dealt with everything, I’ve just sort of been recovering.”

Cat looks at her strangely, probably because it’s remarkably obvious there is truth being omitted but her focus is drawn away from it anyway. “Recovering from what exactly? What injuries did you get?” Her eyes travel down Kara’s body and it means she’s got to come up with something quickly.

“I…well…”

“She got a bad head injury,” Lena answers, strolling casually into the room. “Sorry to interrupt. I just forgot to grab something.”

“I see.” Cat watches Lena closely while she moves through the room over to the chair where she was sitting earlier and then eases up when she pulls a notebook from beside it since she didn’t fully trust that she was telling the truth before.

“Her memory was shot for a few days and it’s left her weak. She’s seen a physiotherapist and has some exercises she does a couple of times a day. Other than that, it was mainly cuts and bruises which have pretty much healed at this point. The head injury was the worst one.”

“Hmm.” Cat sees her prey and locks on. “Kara couldn’t tell me anything about a police report, can you shed some light on that for me.”

Lena nods, her shoulders back to make herself appear as open as possible. “Yeah, I’m not surprised Kara can’t tell you much, I’ve tried to keep her out of it, it’s something she doesn’t need to stress about on top of everything else. There won’t be any repercussions against Kara since there was CCTV footage of the altercation, proving that she acted solely in self-defence. There are no worries there. I have my lawyers dealing with the investigation into the group and they are handling everything to do with the…altercation between Kara and the woman that attacked her.”

“And she wasn’t approached by the authorities for a statement?”

“She was approached in the hospital but for the first couple of days she was really out of it and her memory was all over the place. They didn’t try again for a statement after the footage was turned over, her injuries and the tape were enough to prove that it was self-defence.”

Cat leans into the back of her couch with her shoulder since she’s sitting at an angle. “That’s good. Let me know if you need more legal resources, I can have my team get in touch with yours if necessary.”

Lena smiles warmly. “I appreciate that. I think they have it covered but I’ll keep the offer in mind in case that changes.”

“Please do.” Cat moves her attention back to Kara. “So, are you still having memory issues?”

“No,” Kara answers quickly but then sees the hard stare Lena is giving her. “Well, not really.”

Cat’s eyes narrow. “Well, which is it?”

Lena jumps back in. “She’s mostly better, a few hiccups but most of the memory loss is from a couple of days before the attack and then for a couple of days after so other than that, she’s been pretty good. Honestly, I kind of think some of the post-attack memory loss is due to the confusion and meds she was on.”

“Makes sense.” Cat murmurs. “Well, is there anything I can do for you, Kara?”

In response, Kara shakes her head. “I really don’t think so. Just let me work to get my head away from what happened, even just the hour a day you’ve allowed me is going to help me out a lot.”

Reminded of why she’s here, Cat gestures to the laptop bag she put on the chair. “I brought you the laptop and some notes to give you a hand on getting the hang of editing a little more since you’ve only done it passively up until now. Don’t push yourself too hard and if it’s too much, just call me and I can either dial it down or we can postpone working for a while. Your job is safe, Kara, there’s no need to rush anything. That being said, I don’t want to be receiving subpar work, if you aren’t going to be able to do it well, don’t do it at all.”

“I hear you. Thank you, Ms Grant. I will keep that in mind and I’ll keep you in the loop. I promise.” Kara’s hands press together in thanks, looking like she’s about to start praying but she’s just so glad she can get some kind of normalcy back that she doesn’t care how pathetic it makes her look.

There’s a softness to Cat’s eyes that Kara doesn’t see very often and usually, she would dismiss it as Cat just being in a good mood but she can see now that it’s because she genuinely does care for her in the same way she cares for Cat. They have truly become friends over the years and that’s something Kara has questioned many a time because she couldn’t believe it but seeing the way Cat’s colder demeanour returns whenever her attention is drawn to Lena and then disappears when she’s talking to her is quite striking.

“One more thing before I go and let you rest, Kara.”

“Sure, anything.”

“I’m going to send some of the more useless people from around the building to do some work for once and handle your apartment for you. You’re in no state to do so yourself.”

Kara sighs and opens her mouth, her head already shaking to try and turn down Cat’s offer except it’s not really an offer.

“It’s happening. You focus on getting better. I told you, Kara, you have people around you who can support you, you just have to let them. I will get your things moved out of your apartment. Where should I have them sent? Here?”

Lena jumps in. “Here is fine. There’s no point in putting it in storage until you’ve got everything you need to last you a while. Just have them toss any broken furniture though, we can get you new stuff when you get yourself a place when you’re better.”

“Between the pair of you, I’m not going to have a choice in any of this, am I?”

Lena answers for both herself and Cat. “Nope, we’re here to make sure you don’t kill yourself just because you’re too independent to accept help.”

“Fine. I’ll let you help and I will be very grateful for it. I am very grateful for it.” Kara responds, not bothering to suppress her smile.

Cat looks between the pair and then leans in towards Kara, pulling her into another hug. Kara gasps, the movement taking her by surprise for a second but then she slumps into the embrace. She’s released quickly but the message is clear. Cat is here for her if she needs her.

As soon as she releases Kara from her grasp, she stands up and grabs her purse from the chair and slings it over her shoulder. Then she takes the laptop bag and puts it on the couch where she was just sitting. “Take a look, if it’s too much, don’t do it.”

“Ok. Thank you for coming and for everything else.”

“Of course. Take care of yourself and remember that promise you made about what you’d do when I left.”

Kara’s eyes go wide, looking between Cat and Lena, who is looking pretty darn confused. “I never promised anything.”

“Yes, you did, follow through, Danvers, follow through,” Cat says and then looks at Lena one last time. “You keep an eye on her. You hear me?”

“Loud and clear, Ms Grant and I will have my people in touch with your people over those articles.”

“You better. Have a good day, ladies, I will see myself out.” Cat says and makes her way to the door before Lena can argue about etiquette.

Lena and Kara exchange a look of amusement and Lena is the first to break into a laugh. “She’s really something.” She moves the laptop bag to the floor and sits down next to Kara who muses about how much the bag has been moved around in the last few seconds.

“I know. She’s got a soft, gooey centre though, as you just saw. It doesn’t come out very often though.”

Lena smiles. “I saw. Now, I think you’re meant to kiss me.”

Kara’s eyes bulge and her jaw drops. “What? You heard?”

Lena shrugs. “I couldn’t help it, I had to listen so I could help you out if you got stuck on any questions, I was quite shocked to hear her call you out for liking me although I will say that I am very happy to hear it because she was right about me liking you back.” She’s taking her chance now while she has it, she’d be a fool to pass it up and well, Sam was right when she told her she was a fool. She might have to watch everyone she cares about die but losing the people she loves isn’t as bad as never loving anyone at all.

For the most part, Kara is just speechless. She agreed to speak to Lena to get Cat off her back, she was never going to actually follow through with it. With everything on their plates at the minute, it feels a lot like bad timing. Now though, now it’s being offered up to her on a platter, how could she say no?

“I just messed up, didn’t I?” Lena asks, shrinking back into herself at the lack of reaction from Kara.

Kara’s hand shoots out to rest on Lena’s cold wrist. “No.” It comes out high-pitched and weird so she clears her throat and tries again. “No. I’m just…shocked, I guess. I wasn’t expecting you to say that.”

“Oh, ok,” Lena says, her gaze flitting between Kara’s face and Kara’s hand, which is where Kara’s focus is drawn to as she thinks.

“Can I kiss you?” Kara asks, finally looking up into the green eyes that have held control of every breath she’s taken and every beat of her heart since she’s seen them, even before she knew what that meant.

Lena responds by pressing her free hand against Kara’s cheek and drawing her closer, her lips latching onto Kara’s as soon as she’s within reach. Kara leans into it and her hands move up to clutch the back of Lena’s neck, holding her close and not letting her go.

Their hands press onto each other insistently, both trying to get the other as close as possible but alas, the kiss has to break at some point, that point being when Kara runs out of breath. At first, when she tries to pull back, Lena doesn’t let her but when she pushes back on her shoulders, she’s released.

“You might not have to breathe but I do.” She grins, breathing deeply for a few moments before diving back in.

Lena shows her annoyance at having to stop by bringing her teeth out and dragging them along her lip softly, biting down with just enough force that it makes her lip tender but not enough to break the skin. It draws a groan from the back of Kara’s throat and she presses even closer, nipping back at Lena when she gets the chance, sans the sharp teeth.

They do eventually part, both of them looking a mess from the way they resorted to running their fingers through each other’s hair. “That was…wow. I wasn’t expecting that.” Kara pants.

“Me neither. I have no complaints.” Lena answers, a smile crossing her lips.

“I wouldn’t mind a repeat performance.” Kara throws out there.

Lena’s grin widens. “I wouldn’t either but it’s high time you got out in the sun for a while so go and get your ass out there. Take the laptop with you and do some work if you must but neither of us would have a good time if you faint in the middle of…it just wouldn’t be a good time.”

Kara tips her head to the side briefly in acceptance. “I’ll give you that. Let me just grab a drink first then I’ll go outside but first, one more for the road.”

Lena isn’t about to deprive Kara of what she so clearly needs, “besides, I did promise the mighty Cat Grant that I would keep an eye on you. I think keeping my lips on you will be a good substitute.”

“Oh god, you’re so corny.” Kara gasps but goes for another kiss.

Her quip is ignored and Lean focuses on making the most out of this kiss before she has to usher Kara away to go and sit outside for a while, somewhere Lena won’t be able to get to her, something that feels a whole lot like torture right about now.

Another minute goes by with Kara having no self-control and Lena barely clinging to the one rational brain cell she has left that is telling her she needs to part from Kara’s delicious lips so her health doesn’t suffer.

Lena pulls away from Kara, a hand at the base of her neck keeping her from following. As she does part form her though, she tugs on her bottom lip with her teeth, taking it with her for a moment before she lets it pop back into place.

“Ok, go, before you never make it outside.”

“I’m not complaining.”

Lena stands up, her head shaking at Kara, a mirth settling in her eyes. “Normally, I wouldn’t either but you have to get your vitamin D.”

“Oh yeah, I gotta get that D,” Kara snickers to herself.

“Oh, dear lord.” Lena facepalms. “You stay here and control yourself; I’ll go grab you a drink while you do that.”

Kara mock salutes her, a cheeky grin on her face, her mood lifted in light of the recent developments. She was not expecting that to happen just now but she’s certainly not complaining about it. It’s probably going to bring up a couple of problems here and there for them at certain points and there’s a lot they will need to discuss but she’d like to give it a go between them.

One of the things that she’s not looking forward to is the potential awkwardness surrounding them being roommates whilst potentially dating, which could get messy fast it if doesn’t work out. That’s saying that Lena actually wants to be in a relationship. Sure, she said that she has feelings for her but that could just mean that she wants to have a sexual relationship and Kara wants more than that.

“Here you go.” Lena wanders in and hands her the glass she just filled with water for her.

Kara takes it distractedly. “Thank you.”

Lena frowns. “Ok, what’s going on?”

“What did you mean when you said you liked me?” Kara looks up at her, her eyes imploring her to tell the truth.

Lena sits back down beside her and laces their fingers together. “I don’t know how I can be much more obvious than that. I like you; I want to take you out on a date sometime, preferably after dark.”

“Oh…good.”

“Why? What were you expecting?”

Kara presses her lips together tightly, rolling them once before pushing her embarrassment aside. “I thought you were about to ask to be friends with benefits or something and that wouldn’t work for me, I want to be more than that.”

“Me too,” Lena replies, a little horrified that Kara thought that. “I wouldn’t want to just be friends with benefits either. Want to talk about it in more detail later, maybe tonight after dark and you’re back inside?”

“I’d like that but I don’t like the subtle push to get me outside.”

Lena shrugs. “I think it was a good push.”

“Not very subtle though.”

Lena rolls her eyes and starts guiding Kara up by the hand she still has entwined with her own. “I wasn’t trying to be now go, take the laptop and your drink. I’ll be right in here, go try out the balcony.”

“Ok, ok. I’ll see you later.”

“Yes, you will.” Lena carries the drink and bag to the balcony door for her and only when Kara pauses to grab her phone does she have an amazing idea. “Want to talk on the phone through the glass like you’re a prisoner and I’m visiting you?”

“What makes you think I’m the prisoner and not you?”

“The key is on this side of the door.”

“Mean. Let’s do it though.”

Read the next chapter early on Patreon here!

[an-shu]

Eclipse Disclaimer

I feel I need to put this out because of an AO3 comment from who I suspect is the same person past chapters that thought the Eclipse fic was going to align with their cookie cutter shape of Kara and Lena. It’s an exploration on the complexities of Kara being a human vs. Kryptonian as a last child of what she believed an extinct race and culture, with memories of a society on a highly advanced Krypton that strove for perfection in every way—a society, if you were paying attention, was heavily implied (like almost explicitly) throughout in my fic to be respected or feared, to colonize and look down upon others they deemed primitive or not as equal to their intellect and technology. By extension, it’s also Rao-imbued Supergirl struggling to figure out humanity as a newborn deity, one that is supposed to be perfect and godly and so exacting it’s inhuman and unsettling. It’s also an exploration of Lena's struggles against her dark side and the unhealthy relationships she experienced in her childhood that pushed attention on and kept attention from a child, where she was also expected to be perfect and achieve a greatness that required her to channel the Luthor family xenophobia and cutthroat cruelty, to use money and education as a means of disseminating anti-alien rhetoric to displace and genocide an entire demographic off the face of the Earth.

It’s a Kara and Lena who don't perfectly communicate and resolve what they're feeling in a single paragraph. This is them with the hard feelings that come and go as they're processed—emotions are fickle, people are conflicted, and in the heat of heightened moments they say, think, and do things they regret, like self-pity, holding grudges, rationalizing an action or behavior they know is wrong, and continuing to do so some time or long after being slapped in the face with their decisions. These are behaviors Kara and Lena exhibited even after the same problems resurfaced in different ways where they stumbled, faltered, recovered, made the same mistake however more, and eventually grew past them that's exhibited throughout the show.

They're heroes, but they're not incapable of being narrow-minded and bigoted in the comics and show, and they like many are shown quick to defend themselves when their characters and what they stand for are critiqued—what makes them different and good is that they're able to compartmentalize and tamp down those snappy judgements they made in the moment or as time passes, a maturity that's faster for Kara than Lena.

This fic shows trauma and difficult recovery, perfection and imperfection, humanity and humanness, religion and being god-like, assimilation and integration as an immigrant that's a stark dichotomy between two very different survivors, the "palatibility" of heroes, and a great deal more the show couldn't and/or wouldn't address when it was trying to flesh out like six different characters. Of course, many of these topics parallel racism. Perhaps this isn’t immediately discernible to a fandom that, I presume, is mostly yt women who stan a wlw couple who are also yt women, but there will be moments you might not be comfortable with the very real issues the show failed to portray dealing with xenophobia/racism. And to that I say make yourself uncomfortable. Because how American BIPOC perceive and portray media is actually vastly different than how yt consumers see things.

[lena-in-a-red-dress]

I think I might have a 'Lena in Camelot' prompt somewhere in my inbox so I'll probably get around to actually doing something with this idea, but imagine Lena gets dropped in the Camelot world at a time when Morgana is missing. Lena is "found" and assumed to be Morgana, and is thereby brought back home to Morgause (in this reality Morgana and Morgause are ruling Camelot while Arthur & Co are in hiding).

At first Lena is like-- wow Morgana has a sister, I've always wanted a sister, but soon realizes that Morgause is basically a female version of Lex ("jesus I can't get a breakin any reality, can I?") and discovers all the bad things the sisters have planned.

Like executing a bunch of Arthur's knights. Lena halts the execution in the nick of time, adlibbing something about actually serving penance for their crimes against the crown, "death is to kind a punishment" type of thing. It's the first clue for Morgause that something is hinky.

After that, Morgause keeps a close eye on Lena, and finds her trying to subvert many of Morgause's more sinister plans. Lena also rules with her characteristic kindness, slowly winning the people over-- even the knights, since Lena has ordered them to be treated well as prisoners, and has even managed to sneak in a couple of secret conversations with them, telling them 'hey I'm working on something but I promise I'll get you out of here, just give me some time.' And then actually following through on it.

Morgause continues to train "Morgana", and thereby gives Lena the knowledge and practice she needs to master her magic. Unwittingly, she gives Lena the ability to defend herself and strike back when Morgause has finally had enough and confronts her, attacking her in the main hall.

Meanwhile, Arthur & Co have found the real Morgana, and start mending fences. Things are still tense when they arrive at the castle mid-Morgause confrontation, but when Morgana sees how easily Morgause attacks her doppelganger (maybe even still assuming Lena is still Morgana but that Morgana is losing loyalty), Morgana realizes that she was never more than a pawn to her sister. In an instant, her allegience switches back to Arthur and Gwen.

She joins the magical fight against Morgause, and Arthur battles Morgause's henchmen alongside his reclaimed knights, who all hold a flame of loyalty for the doppelganger who helped them escape the dungeons and flee Camelot.

After Morgause is defeated, Arthur reclaims his throne and his sister. They plan to rule together and build a brighter future for Camelot. But first they have to figure out who Lena is and what she's doing here-- which she gladly tells them, using terms and ideas they'd understand. With Morgana's help, Lena manages to open rift between worlds for her to get home.

Before she leaves, Lena takes a moment to speak with her counterpart-- "you may have lost a sister, but you still have a family. Be certain you don't lose them again-- it's not worth it to be alone, trust me."

Morgana nods, taking her words to heart. When Lena steps through the portal to go home, Morgana rejoins her family.

Together, they make their first steps towards a better world.

[morganacorp]

Consider:

Lena running for president. Sadie gets assigned to follow her campaign and despite how much other news outlets rave that Lena and the Luthor name are all tainted, Sadie's determined to report objectively. But she is going to do her due diligence and dig into tge numerous shell companies and philanthropic organizations Lena has a hand in. Which of course is the catalyst for a visit from Supergirl telling Sadie to back off, Lena's a force for good and isn't at all like her brother or the rest of the Luthors etc etc...

Which only makes Sadie EVEN MORE convinced that there's a BUG story here.

What happens next?

Ohhh that's such an interesting thought!!!! (And kinda fun considering my current WIP) 😂

I think Sadie would be enamoured by Lena's potential, her honesty and the way she uses her family's history to prop herself apart and show that even from the dark you can get something good. Lena's campaign would be based in transparency and hard work, with her being interviewed daily, and under attack from trolls and detractors.

Sadie would start her coverage getting a nice one-on-one with Lena thanks to her press secretary, a tough Alex Danvers, and she'd ask the tough questions, starting by why she wants to run for office. Lena would be honest, almost vulnerable but very guarded, that ability of hers that has been learned since she walked into Luthor Manor.

She'd start investigating after a rumor started about one of LCorp's subsidiaries being involved in fishy transactions. Sadie's instincts would be conflicted because she knows there's a story, she can almost feel it, but she also wants to believe that Lena's innocent.

When she's walking down the street after meeting a source and she's intercepted by Supergirl, she'd be nervous and genuinely surprised. She didn't think the Paragon of Hope, hero of Earth and defender of what's right would try to do something as mundane as defendingba candidate to the presidency.

'I need to tell you, off the record, that Lena Luthor isn't who you think she is. She is good and honest, and this country would be lucky to have her in office. The world needs someone like her.' A tough looking Supergirl told her, hands on her hips in her typical power stance. 'Don't get on her way. Listen to what she has to say, and give her an honest chance.' She insisted. 'I wouldn't be here if I didn't believe in her'

'you shouldn't be talking to me about this.' Sadie said, still processing the interaction. The cynic in her still doubted the whole superhero thing, but having Supergirl in front of her made her feel like an excited little girl. 'people could take this interaction as you interfering with the elections; you know there's part of the population who fears you and your power-'

'I'm off the record here, and I'm not going to intervene. I'd never do that.' Supergirl said. 'I'm simply asking you to give Lena a chance, a fair shot. We've had so many different types of shady people in power, it's time for someone like her to take over. She's brilliant and honest, she's not afraid of ruffling a few feathers and making white men angry'

'I believe you, but if she's got her hands on dirty businesses... I'm sorry but it would be my obligation as an American to denounce it'

'andbI know you'd do it. Just... Don't mistake Lena for Lex. She's different' Supergirl said and took off, leaving Sadie with more questions in her head.

'what the fuck are they hiding?'

[autisticlenaluthor]

#3 For Kara and Alex

3. Least favorite canon thing about this character?

for kara, this is more writing inconsistency’s then her actual character. but in season 2-4, she defends lena endlessly and always sees the good in her. she stands up for her time and time again, even when the evidence is pointing against lena being in the right.

but in s5 it’s like suddenly she’s forgotten all of that. she stops caring about the fact that she spent 3 years lying to her face, betraying her trust, and at times being incredibly manipulative to her. all she cares about is that lena’s trauma response is a toxic one.

i really hate that kara takes no responsibility for her role in lena’s downfall in season 5. especially considering lena’s entire objective was wanting to make people good.

she didn’t go about it the right way but her entire thought process was “people keep hurting me, i need to find a way to make people stop hurting each other”. there weren’t *that* many dots for kara to have had to connect to have realized, her breaking lena’s trust pushed her over the edge.

as for alex, my least favorite canon thing was that out of nowhere, she decided she wanted to be a mom. that’s also a writing thing but to me, alex doesn’t seem like the kind of character whose yearning for motherhood. especially considering her career and how much danger she puts herself in on the daily

[andiessoccerblog]

Group H

Expected to move on: Germany, Colombia

Expected to exit in group stage: Morocco, Korea Republic

Germany

FIFA Ranking: 2

Reputation:

Much like the men’s side, the German women’s team is a MACHINE. Unless the unthinkable happens again (see: the men’s side 2018) Germany should get out of the group with ease, and I would definitely rank them as a favorite to win the World Cup. Their style of play is crisp, clean, and a little bit curt...if that makes sense. They will lay their bodies on the line, and they will lay your body on the line too if you’re playing against them. They shockingly failed to qualify for the 2020 Olympics, but were runners-up in the Women’s European Championship in 2022, which is a much more accurate indicator of their strength.

Player Pool: 

Germany is another team with extraordinary depth, with all their players on top domestic teams or premier teams in England or France. Alexandra Popp, new captain of the team, also leads in goals scored for German, but is really known for the use of her large stature to win duels. Every position is filled with veterans, and Germany has been skillful in ensuring that even its younger players have gotten experience in big games.  Every player is a team player and can be a standout in their own right, so it’s hard to pick specific players to highlight. That being said, of course there are players that rise to the top–Lena Oberdorf, Sara Däbritz, and Melanie Leupolz all deserve a shout out. 

2019 WWC performance:

Germany looked okay during the women's World Cup, but less confident than many people had anticipated. They made it through the group stage with narrow 1-0 wins against Spain and China, and an easy win against debutante South Africa. They plowed over Nigeria in the round of sixteen, but were stymied by Sweden in the quarterfinals.  On many past occasions, they had beaten Sweden, so many were surprised when the game went the other way. Dabritz, Magull, and Popp led the scoring, while young newcomer Gwinn and veteran Hegering held down the midfield and defense, playing all 450 minutes of their tournament run.

Colombia

FIFA Ranking: 26

Reputation: 

Colombia’s women’s team has historically done well in South American competition, feuding with Brazil for top honors, even as their own federation doesn’t support them as much financially as they do their men’s side.  Earlier in 2023 the Colombian Federation began an agreement with FIFA to begin increasing funding for women's soccer at all levels.  That won’t help the team in this World Cup, and they will be fighting tooth and nail against Korea Republic for the second spot in the group.

Player Pool:

Colombia has one of the older teams of the World Cup, with more veterans than newbies. After missing the 2019 World Cup, they will need to rely on players that were around for the 2015 World Cup, like Catalina Usme,  Daniela Montoya, and keeper Sandra Sepúlveda. 

2019 WWC performance:

Did Not Qualify

Korea Republic

FIFA Ranking: 17

Reputation:

South Korea is recognized as “Korea Republic” by FIFA. Asia’s women’s football culture has been improving on a regional stage, but has struggled to keep up internationally, and Korea Republic  is no exception. The best players on this team are the ones that leave Korea to play in a European or American league. They have never qualified for the Olympics. Their best result in a Women’s World Cup came in 2015, when they made it out of the group stage, but they couldn’t repeat the result in 2019, and likely won’t do it again in 2023. 

Player Pool: 

Ji So-yun (midfielder) made a name for herself and for Korea with a long career for Chelsea in England, but moved back to South Korea in 2022. Cho So-hyun is another team veteran playing in England, and the pair form a strong midfield. Captain is Kim Hye-ri, a veteran defender. She plays with about half the roster for South Korea’s Incheon Hyundai Steel Red Angels team, the top side in Korea’s domestic league.

2019 WWC performance:

Not great. They had a rough group, pulling Norway and France, so their only chance to advance was a third place spot, which neither they nor Nigeria achieved. They scored one goal in the tournament.

Morocco

FIFA Ranking: 73

Reputation: 

Morocco reached their first World Cup under the distinguished coach Reynald Pedros, who previously had coached Olympique Lyonnais Féminin to the french championship. Under Pedros, the team has grown to be one of the best teams in Africa. However, they have a record of falling short against teams outside of Africa, and will need this tournament and more international exposure to become a contender. 

Player Pool:

Captain Ghizlane Chebbak has played for Morocco for the last 10 years and is their top goalscorer. They have an up and coming forward in Rosella Ayane, who played for the English national youth teams, but switched to Morocco for her senior caps.

2019 WWC performance:

Did Not Qualify

[thornedrose44]

Prompt: “I can’t stop thinking about you.”

“Hey.” Lena sighed in a warm greeting, making Kara believe for a fraction of a second that she could feel Lena’s breath on her cheek through the phone’s tiny speaker.

“Hey.” Kara echoed back, cheeks blushing at how eager her own voice sounded in response.

“Good night?” Lena drawled knowingly.

“Great night.” Kara corrected.

“Oh?” Lena perked up, “Up to anything interesting?”

Kara could barely contain the joyous grin that took over her face as she settled more comfortably against her bed's pillows.

“Just a date.” Kara replied, playing coy and indifferent (rather poorly).

“Just?” Lena repeated. “Implies it wasn’t that great if it was prefaced with a just.”

“Well, it was only a first date, still feeling things out, you know?”

“Hmm… that can take time. Definitely don’t want to rush your judgement.” Lena hummed in agreement. “So… are you going to share any details? I’m hoping you didn’t phone your best friend after midnight to tell me about just any old date.”

“I never said any old date.” Kara defended.

“But you did say just…” Lena teased, sotto voce.

“I.. I- I-…” Kara spluttered in defeat, earning her an affectionate chuckle, bolstering her spirit and soothing decades-old hurts. “It was just a date in the same way that you're just my best friend. It was just a date in the same way people say just another love story, just another war, just another a day. It was a ‘just’ used when the task of trying to appropriately define it is so insurmountable that cowards like me sprint in the other direction rather than even make an attempt.”

The silence that followed was made all the more agonising since Lena’s heartbeat was so far away, across the city, not suitably amplified by the phone’s speaker.

“Sounds like one hell of a date.” Lena finally exhaled, voice noticeably cracking with emotion.

“More like heaven than hell.” Kara breathed, her bared soul settling calmly back into its shell after being exposed.

“I should hope so, it was a long time in the making.” Lena acknowledged.

“I would have waited longer. I would have waited forever.” Kara promised.

“I know.” Lena whispered.

“She took me to the art gallery to see the exhibit on Impressionism.” Kara revealed, easing them back into their game.

“The one you’ve been talking about for weeks?”

“Mmhmm.”

“Clearly a very lucky guess on her part.” Lena remarked drolly.

“Clearly.” Kara laughed.

“Let me guess,” Lena said, slow and thoughtful, “considering she defaulted to an intellectual date at an art gallery… for dinner, she took you to an upmarket restaurant where all the waiters are required to have sticks up their asses?”

“Leeeennnnaaa…” Kara whined, burying her face against her cool pillow in exasperation.

“Am I wrong?” Lena inquired curiously.

“Very!” Kara huffed.

“Oh?”

“She took me to a food festival, we had sushi, tacos, burritos, overloaded hot dogs, calzone, then crepes, profiteroles, fancy donuts and…” Kara let out a deep, appreciative moan. “It was so good, Lena.”

There was an audible gulp on the other end of the line. “Yeah… sounds it.”

“And then after…” Kara continued softly, “after we walked around the city, hand in hand, talking the night away, she walked me to my door and…”

“And?” Lena prompted.

Kara’s eyes slipped closed, reliving the moment where pale fingers brushed her cheek and green eyes disappeared behind closed lids prior to the softest press of lips against her own.

“A Kryptonian doesn’t kiss and tell.” Kara hummed.

“Tease.” Lena clucked her tongue.

“I’m the tease?! Need I remind you of a certain skirt and turtleneck sweater?”

There was a long pause, “I concede your point.”

“Hey, Lena?” Kara said after Lena let out a yawn.

“Kara?” Lena replied, voice starting to slur with sleepiness

“I don’t think I can sleep.”

“Why not?” Lena asked immediately, alertness coming back - triggered with concern about nightmares that had gone silent in the last couple of months.

“Because I can‘t stop thinking about you.” Kara answered breathlessly. “I’m scared that if I close my eyes and fall asleep, I’ll wake up and find out tonight was all a dream. A perfect dream.”

“Kara,” Lena began, tone firm and determined as she ordered (knowing it would be followed instantly), “fly to me. Fly to me and sleep safely in my arms.”

Kara was up and out the window in less than a heartbeat, and landing softly beside Lena two heartbeats later. Lena reached out for her, pulling her close and kissing her cheek, forehead and lips - grounding Kara with touch and love like only she could.