#mel stuff

[fazedlight]

Sometimes it really is baffling to understand how Lena was tricked.

Granted, the fandom is biased. We get to see Kara both in her normal clothes and the supersuit, acting as herself. But as others have pointed out, Lena didn't get that experience. Supergirl was often formal, later becoming haughty and judgmental, whereas Kara was all smiles and always supportive of her best friend.

Still, though, it does bother me. Lena saw her face close up, heard her voice over and over again, knew that Kara Danvers had remarkable sway over Supergirl. And Lex - who can read Lena well - thinks it wasn't just about the supersuit, but also a layer of denial that was specific to Lena.

Who the hell experiences that level of denial?

Okay, maybe I did.

Secret identities in superhero shows tend to lend themselves to queer-coded storylines (intentionally or not). It occurs to me that Lena's denial reads the same way, or at least resonates with my experience as a self-closeted queer kid.

Because how the hell do you not realize the two faces you keep staring at are the exact same thing? I dunno, maybe it's a similar level of denial that I had while watching Xena from ages 6-11, thoroughly convinced that Xena was just as straight as I was (... technically true, I guess).

After all, the kiss on the left happened in another realm, and Gabrielle wakes up to find herself heterosexually kissing Autolycus!! And the other scene was just about saving Xena from drowning. And the reason I would get distracted by boobs was just, you know, Normal. I was just comparing my body to theirs, that's all!

People asked me if Xena was gay, and there was never a doubt in my mind that she wasn't. There was a panic - I didn't want them to think I was gay, but they just Didn't Understand The Show. I was drawn to the show for normal feminist reasons and certainly no other reasons, right? A young kid in Catholic school, that was the world I saw.

I too would rather throw myself off a building than think about my sexuality

It wasn't until freshman year of college that I realized I wasn't straight. And it wasn't until months later that I started rewatching Xena, and realized... oh. This is gay. This is very gay. Maybe my mental framework of female friendship should not have been based on this.

And you know what? I still don't get it. I don't know how I could've seen that scene from The Quest and not thought this was a love story. I don't know how I could've felt the jealousy of a close friend getting her first boyfriend, and not realized that I wanted more than a friendship. I don't know how I could've [redacted sapphic experiences with other friends] and thought it was straight behavior.

No, I don't understand how Lena's denial left her so blind. But I don't understand my own blindness when looking back, either. I can't even access that mindset anymore - once I saw, I couldn't unsee, and it's like I can't tap into that again. I didn't know the bell was there for so long, but then it rang and there's no undoing that.

Lena's denial was bizarre... but maybe not entirely unrealistic.

[starwolfie]

So…. Tell me if I’m the weird one, please…

My mom just told me her neighbor no longer wanted their cat. Because said cat had given birth, they want to keep the kittens and give away the cat to a shelter.

I started to cry because this broke my little heart. It’s an animal that loves you, you heartless monster, not a sock that you throw away when you get a new one! 🥺🥺

Sorry if I made anyone cry, but am I weird because this makes me very very sad? 😢

[crysys-kidd]

PRIDE MONTH - based on my Sims game where I had a pride mod installed and Mel wished every other week to come out to her dad like it was a surprise every time.

Bonus:

[fazedlight]

We all know Kara Zor-El is worthy 😌

Thank you @heeeygracie for taking my comm!! Please also check out her other works! (twitter/ko-fi/patreon)

[starwolfie]

Don’t know if it was in the news for any of you, but today was a sad day for southern Germany.

Don’t worry, my family and I are okay, but I apologize for going silent on here 🥺

[fazedlight]

[fazedlight]

If my blog ever convinced you to watch Xena, you're welcome.

If my blog ever convinced you to watch Supergirl... I'm sorry.

if my blog ever convinced you to watch a tv series

you’re welcome

sorry

[starwolfie]

Today I visited Nemo and his friends.

Found a fellow animal nerd in a guide and enjoyed getting infodumping for an hour about fishies. I enjoyed this so much! /gen

[fazedlight]

Sapphics are always telling their girlfriends to jump

[starwolfie]

So…. I‘ve hurt my shoulder. While driving in my car.

No, I didn’t have an accident, I just had to swerve out of the way of a car on my lane.

🙈

[fazedlight]

While creating a recent fanvid, I couldn't help but notice the resonance of these two shots.

The cold blue and the warm yellow. The first steps in anger, the second steps in trepidation.

The light cascades, first with Lena walking away from it, and second with her stepping into it.

[starwolfie]

I was in the Amazon rainforest today 😉

No, actually I was visiting a 360° panorama of it that is 15m high and absolutely gorgeous.

Drawn by the artist Yadegar Asisi.

Last picture featuring a wet possum Hyrule ^^

@hero-of-the-wolf @readingismyhobby24 had that glorious idea for his dark world form! 🥰🥰

[fazedlight]

It's so funny how I got into anthropology in college, frequently talking about the importance of storytelling in culture and how it shapes who we are... and yet it took until my mid-30s to realize that I was allowed to tell stories.

We live in a culture that devalues and commodifies folk culture. So please: tell stories badly, sing off-key, paint something awful.

We need to bring creativity back to being focused on people, connection, community.

Not just something to consume and demand.

[fazedlight]

I think they're more alike than Lena would like to admit.

recognising your parent's mannerisms in yourself and physically feeling psychic damage occur

[starwolfie]

I present to you the scariest Halloween decorations of all times!

And the very scary Halloween plushies that I got today

Have a spooky Halloween everyone! 👻👻👻👻

[fazedlight]

I started again with Station 19, which led to some Thoughts, which led to me commissioning this fun supercorp piece from @heeeygracie (twitter/ko-fi).

Thank you so much for your amazing talent, Gracie! 🏥🚒❤️‍🔥 (Tweet version.)