#legal name change

[deadeyedfae]

Ever been denied your identity on a governmental level even after jumping through all thier hoops?

[obelisart]

The Recloseted Lesbian. Teacher's Name

[lemony-ink]

[thefoolwithin]

My name change hearing is on the 24th of this month! What the fuck!!! Yippeee! Yippeee! I was expecting it to be next month. I'm so elated. What the fuck! What the fuck! Your boy is going to be dapper as hell. :33333

[profmeowmers]

for anyone in portland who is trying to change their name before next year

[supercoolsuperqueer]

I'm applying for my legal name change in january and it's STRESSING me outtttte!!!!! Like... what if i fuck up and miss a document........

[kaiaden]

My Legal Name

so I actually plan on legally changing my first and last name because I don’t want to be associated with my parents all that much when I’m older, (they are heavily racist, slightly misogynistic, and my dad is homophobic) so just like my first name, I’m planning on changing my last name.

first name: Kaiaden (you know the reason why if you’ve seen my blog)

Last name: Smith

many people have the last name, and it’s totally not for outside reasons that I will not share

totally

Did anyone else just have Kai as their favorite character when they were younger (or if you still do) because you love his name? No? Just me?

totally has nothing to do with my post. It’s just a silly question

hehe

[yourtransfemboy]

Okay guys, girls, and other monsters in the dark.

I need help choosing a name

[transgenderteensurvivalguide]

Hi! So I’m trans and I’ve been going by my preferred name for a long time, and everyone calls me that name (except for family who are transphobic). But basically, I want to legally change my name. I still get called my deadname a lot when it shows up on legal stuff and I hate it. So I need to convince my mom So my question is, how can I bring this up and convince her to let me change it? I already know the legal process.

Lee says:

You know the legal process already which is a great first step! But knowing what the process will entail both legally doesn't mean that you've fully considered the logistics.

Start by making a list of all the places where you will have to update your name (school, doctor's office, bank, social security, health insurance, etc) and then look into what each of them requires to update your name.

There's a lot of paperwork that needs to be done when someone changes their name, and you want to show that you're aware of that, you've read all of the applicable policies/guidelines already and you're prepared to handle it yourself.

Convincing your mom that you're ready for the decision will also be easier if you can show her how committed you are to it. In total, a legal name change can cost $500 or more (in some cases; some people pay less depending on the fees where they live and if they are eligible for fee waivers for court fees) and you'll need to calculate that exact cost for your situation.

You'll probably need to pay court fees (often $250 or more), a few certified copy of the original name change decree (often around $10 per copy), the cost of a new ID if you have a learner's permit, driver's license, or non-driver's state ID (often $13 or more), plus the cost of a new passport and passport card (around $160), an updated birth certificate (around $55), etc. And of course you'll also need to think about the fees for mailing things through the post office.

Depending on your state's laws, you may also need to pay to publish notice of the petition in the newspaper for some amount of time like three consecutive weeks if your local newspaper charges for notices to be published, and you may have to pay to have documents notarized.

Now that you've calculated what the cost of changing your name will be, you need to find a way to get that money. Once you've saved up all the money that you'll need to change your name, move on to the next step.

Finally, collect all the information that you'll need (save all the links to a document or print the website pages) and print out all of the forms that you'll need (court forms, social security forms, passport forms, school policies and forms, etc). Don't think of this as something you're doing to convince your mom-- you're doing this for yourself, because it's what you need to do!

In this situation, I'm assuming that your mom supports calling you by your chosen name and isn't included in the 'family who are transphobic' category. I'm also assuming that in your state you either need only one legal guardian to consent to a name change, or you only have one legal guardian (your mom), or you only need to convince your mom and then she will convince your other parent.

Getting your mom on board will be easier when you can show her that you've fully considered the process of legally changing your name, but you also have to convince her that 1) it's something that you NEED to do, and 2) it's something that you need to do NOW and not when you're 18 or older.

Having that type of conversation isn't easy, but it's a good opportunity to show off your maturity. That means listening to her concerns and actually addressing them, not yelling at her (I know you wouldn't but I have to say it!! Some people do!!), trying to stay calm and taking deep breaths, etc.

If she says that she's worried that you'll change your mind because you're young, tell her that you've been using this name for years and are unlikely to change your mind.

If she doesn't understand why you can't just wait until you're older to change your name legally, show some vulnerability, get emotional, and talk about how being deadnamed affects your levels of gender dysphoria, how often you come across your deadname, how your mental health will be improved when you can change it, etc.

Recognize that you'll likely need to have multiple conversations with her on the topic and it won't be a single one-and-done in a day-- it may take several months before you win her over. Try to keep the big picture in mind. If you have a therapist, they may be able to help you prepare for talking with her.

Finally, remember that you know your mom the best! The things that might have convinced my mom aren't necessarily the same things that will convince your mom. The things that my parents were worried about may not be the same things that your parents were worried about. You are the only one who can figure out what the right path is for you to achieve your goal.

The last thing I'll note is that sometimes you can't win every battle. I was able to convince my parents to let me change my name legally as a minor, but I wasn't able to medically transition until I turned 18.

If you aren't able to convince your mom to let you change your name, remember that it isn't the end of the line. Eventually, you will be 18. And all of this work that you've done will make it much easier for you to change your name at that point-- you'll have all the paperwork at the ready!

It can be difficult to be unable to transition in a way that you need to, but know that you'll survive and you'll get there eventually, and you need to take care of yourself (physically and mentally!) in the meantime to be at your best when it is time for you to achieve that goal.

Followers, any advice for anon on convincing a parent to let you legally change your name as a minor?

[benegesseritofficial]

If you're changing your name in the United States this is everything you need to do in priority order. List courtesy of my local city hall. The legal documents will cost money, everything else should not

[orthopunkfox]

A year ago today, on the Feast of Saints Peter and Paul, two saints known for changing their names to fit new identities, I gained the legal right to define myself with a name ane gender marker that I had been using for over a year. With the stroke of the judge's pen, the little boy who kept me alive through years of abuse and trauma could finally rest in peace.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, she is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold all things have become new. -Excerpt from Saint Paul's 2nd letter to the Church in Corinth

[rauchendesgnu]

does anyone here have that list of offices and companies to call after your legal name change? mine's in two weeks, and if I don't have a list, I will definitely forget to make half of the calls...

[sensible-tips]

Transition Tuesday

Everything you'll need to updated after a legal name change. Ordered in from major to minor.

[thefoolwithin]

I got my name changed! I feel so amazing and I am so happy. After I got my social security card changed, the first thing that happened to me was an old man at the bus stop calling me "sir" and asking for help with something pertaining to his email! I felt GREAT!

[beans-tour-diary]

Day 560

I have my official name change appointment this week. Changing both name and gender entry will cost me 60€. I also have a new testo prescription I have to get, that will also cost me 10€.

I know 70€ isn't much compared to how difficult and expensive things are in other countries, but it's interesting to see how even here, where we have healthcare and new laws, I'll have to spend 70€ to be myself. It's also a one time thing. I only need a new prescription every 6 months, so that's pretty chill. It just happened to fall on the same month as the legal change stuff. But I'll also have to get a new ID, drivers license and other stuff that's not going to be cheap.

I'll probably write an email to all my university lecturers, telling them about the legal name change and also again about my pronouns, since some people still don't get it.

[tastefulmoss]

Random poll time cause I’m having trouble deciding (dw tumblr will NOT be the final say, I just want outside perspectives)