#left without his mother
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Alright, who did it?
Who told Wanderer he was allowed to be this cute in the Simulanka event?
((Spoilers in tags))
#genshin impact#genshin wanderer#simulanka event#no but him deciding to console fake durin instead of fighting because he understands durinās pain#this was why he was given the role of the hero#because he was the only one who could truly save durin#none of the others could truly resonate with durinās struggle like wanderer could#theyāve never been hated or feared like he has#they donāt know what itās like to be treated like a monster#but wanderer does#he saw himself in durin#he saw the lost lonely puppet he once was#left without his mother#and he wanted durin to have his own tatarasuna#heās learning to solve his problems with compassion rather than violence#also wanderer being a big softie for small cute things is my reason for living right now#the definition of a tsundere
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[jttw swk oc children] tried out giving them some new clothes but I dunno bout this oneā¦ š¤
Prev:
#drawing them again because I love them#you Will Look š«#/threat#digital art#my art#journey to the west#jttw oc#jttw sun wukong#jttw au#original character#for those not aware these are my swk children ocs#theyāre powerful but obviously not as much as their dad#I imagine they just have high ranking roles in his monkey army and defend huaguoshan while heās off journeying#shooting comet and frozen river#my son tomato and his brother turnip#tomato was born first#Iām torn between making them twins or half brothers born at the exact same time#tomatoās actually very nice but other monkeys find it a bit hard to read him cuz heās always making the monkey#face equivalent of killing intent face#turnip was born without eyes so he has no problem just letting em bangs hang#I imagine they were like toddlers when swk left and when he comes back he gets like two full grown adult demon monkeys thrown at him like#welcome back father!!! and heās just befuddled standing there like who are you people šæ#they have so many other half siblings I think#donāt ask me who their mothers are#I hc swk as on the aroace spec now but back when I first started getting into jttw I imagined he would have a lot of concubines#or willing partners at least - of both genders of course Iām not stupid#his advisors looking for him like where is dasheng??! šØ#meanwhile thereās a pile of babies with a suspicious tail peaking out from under them
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Not having the gods be responsible for the Aeor bubbles (Aeubbles) actually felt like a very nice choice to me; I was kind of dreading them turning out to be Erathisā work or something. Because if the gods did pick and choose who to save, plucking their special followers out above all others, I donāt know if it would feel like a kindness to me! Why does this six year old in a city of horrors get to live while his neighbor dies? For the circumstance of faith? It would be cruel in a way that they havenāt been cruelāat least natural disasters donāt pick favorites. Mount Vesuvius didnāt pretend to be judging the content of anyoneās hearts.
It also gives one last bit of autonomy (and one last final brutal parallel with the gods they hate) to Aeorās mages. They made something so beautiful and terrible, an awe that brought the god of magic to tears, and even as the gods pulled it down in their ears they had one last paranoid failsafe! One last screw you measure preserving a terrible truth. But just as Asmodeus accuses, Aeor clearly drew distinctions between the people who matter and the people who donāt. That blue bubble weāve seen in the amphitheaterāitās not any of the panicked masses who were saved in perfect glacial magic, it was the archmage.
At the end of the day, it was Aeor that built a hierarchy to save some people and leave others. They might not have sunk the Titanic but they made sure only the first-class passengers would have access to their last, most desperate life boat. Iām glad the narrative allowed them to have that triumph. In trying to be a godkiller how close must you mold yourself to the shape of a killing kind of god?
#critical role#exu downfall#aeor#cr spoilers#critical role spoilers#similarly I have so many thoughts about the raven Queenās choice to save hallis#one child among so many#a child who will wake up from a long nap somewhere in exandria#without his mother out of the city heās lived in his whole life#he had family in the opus ward but thatās gone now too#heās just one little boy plucked out of the wreckage and left#and she normally wouldnāt but in this case I think she thought it was Owed#and she was still human and grieving her own death and she wanted to be selfishly kind#but there is selfishness in there amid all the threads of fate the duty the grief the rules#a lot going on in that tiny tiny choice
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and if i said suguruās relationship with weakness (āthe preciousness of the weak, the ugliness of the weakā) was born out of his feelings towards his mother ā¦
#.#feeling abnormal feeling extremely abnormal#i think suguru fucking haaaaaates his father but his connection to his mother is just . so much more loaded#in that sense his mommy issues are far worse but his daddy issues are definitely more . apparent#he hates his dad heād do anything anything anythingggg never to end up like him#but he resembles his mother in many ways (the hair. the eyes. the frail heart)#and because of that his hatred/love for Her in particular is just ā¦ one big can of worms#āyou shouldnāt have given birth to me. you should have saved yourself. itās your own fault that youāre stuck with himā#etcetc#he feels pity and guilt and hatred and biological love heād be better off without#i think his mother was very very awful to him too#but even baby sugu knew the root cause was his father#hhhhh ā¦.#iām a little on the fence between . āhis home life was violently abusiveā#and āhis parents were obsessed with appearing normal and perfect no matter the costā#maybe both ?#like ā¦ idk if ever got physical. but i think just the psychological torture of living in that kind of household#left scars in his soul that heāll never get rid of#in my mind suguās backstory is akin to nobaraās but make it straight up horror#anyway thatās all š sugu your parental issues have bewitched me#ari noises ā©#meta ā©
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so with echoes of wisdom .. i havent watched any of the trailers beyond the very first one and the thumbnails/screenshots and what others have said about it-
but with the world inside the rift being called "Welt des Nichts" aka "world of nothing/void" in german ('still' in english, for some reason) and demises title in french being "avatar of nothing" ... yeah my anxiety is shooting through the roof again
(hopefully you can be a little more forgiving for me being anxious/weird about it bc demise is my blorbo)
i had similar worries with totk, that werent proven true thankfully, but the darn book is making it all worse again with all those weird lore things the game doesnt even so much as hint at AND potential retcons- im in for a really rough time huh, not just stress in real life (more in tags.. its alot) but now about my specific hyperfixation from two things even (AND artblock still..)
weird as it may sound, i dont want demise to get more lore, partly bc i dont believe theyd do anything with him that i would like (given their track record) but much more importantly- the fact that he has this little lore about him is precisely one of the reasons why i fell in love with him, i tend to like characters that are neglected by the narrative, and his story being both so flat and already done meant i can be very creative with what i come up with for him without necessarily contradicting anything in canon (which is ... or was a big point of how i wrote destiny's story and lore, working with canon in a way that reframes it all without straight up ignoring it ... but i suppose i urgently need to let go of that and accept i spend alot of time working things that will go to waste :( ) AND not having to worry that there will be more stuff with him that would massively change not only what im writing but also potentially how i feel about him since the game he was briefly in was the oldest chronologically and ended with his death- i didnt expect them to mess with anything that far back and thought theyd just go forward and leave the timeline behind and wouldnt mess with it again, given how botw seemed to be a sort of 'fresh start' that seemingly regarded the past as the past that needs to rest and that the timeline was finally no longer a discussion if everythings unified through botw and one thing going forward
but i suppose i was very wrong with that .__.
right now the only thing that motivates me still is the left over determination and spite to work on my zelda comic, since i have never gotten this far and really want to get something done for once, but i cant lie that im feeling like i should pause all work on it too to wait and see waht the book and the new game will do .. either to determine if i still have the will to keep working on it after those things are out (my love for tloz has been taking alot of hits lately ..) or if i have to change stuff (mostly bc of my lore problem trying to not ignore it ..)
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#ganondoodles rants#sorta#suicide attempt mention in the IRL stuff im talking about in the following tags btw#theres some construction stuff on our house going on#and my father is extremely stressed about it#he used to be very explosive- being silent and then exploding out of nowhere .. probably left me with lasting damage yippie-#but now he much more lets it eat at himself bc hes old and feels bad for the past stuff so now it makes him irritated and depressed#my older brother is the most normal cis straight guy you can imagine and incredibly impatient and bossy (you CANNOT talk with him)#(brother doesnt live in our house)#and while hes helping out hes doing it exactly how my father doesnt like and since you cant talk to the guy (explosive +200) it stresses hi#to the point of my father yesterday saying that āit would have been better if i had just died back in the dayā#likely referring to the time when he was drafted for the military against his will and tried to kill himself#which i learned only like .. a year ago- theres so little my parents tell me ....#its like my mother telling me- while my father was in hospital for heart surgery- that she not only almost died back when i was a young tee#and only survived bc of some incredibly unebelievable lucky coincidences (medics on a travel being there that knew what she had-#-while our local doctors said welp- nothing we can do lady AND them beign there with a helicopter and emergency transferring her#to antoher bigger hospital while giving her immediate treatment our local one didnt do- AND at the big one just so happened to have-#-an expert on that illness in the facility when she arrived who was able to narrrowly save her life#BUT ALSO while she was recovering and weak and frail as a dust bunny witnessing someone stealing hospital surplies-#not noticing she was in the room at first (which .. the nurses left her in the nurse room while going on break ... which uhm .. yeah cool)#and if my mother hadnt acted in time like she was fully asleep and the lady stealing stuff beign in hurry- she might have killed her#without my mother being able to fight back bc she could barely even talk (the nurses didnt want to believe her when they got back either)#ANYWAY that comment from my father brough me to tears#and my mom is trying out more ... other medication shes not prescribed in hopes of it helping agaisnt her many pains#but i worry it will interact with the other stuff shes on ...#and i worry so much about both of their mental and physical well being#always trying to be the one to calm them down or help with communication bc that is a big problem in this houesehold#but i myself am also a very much not normal and not medicated shut in who has trouble dealing even with my own feelings
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This is how it happened. I wanted to paint something... I was bored so... I did. And this happened.
I blame the amazing Thumbnail artists for this. His thumbnail is just too pretty.
#When my mother asked who is this#So I said āThat one insane guy who's killing himself and hurting his family who disowned him yet some of us still love.ā#She just left me without a next word :c /silly#Tsams Nexus#Design to the thumbnail artists#Nexus#Tsams
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Armand's simpering little "and I never have" has taken on new dimensions for me. Technicality king and also I think very in keeping with his whole malign fairy creature deal. You can tell him not to hurt the bae, but you should really specify what "hurt" entails. Is chopping someone's hands off really hurting them? If they have annoyed you very much I mean.
-questions Armand might pose to Lestat that inspire him to leave the country
#I do think the root of what makes Lesmad so funny is that it is literally the one of two times Lestat has displayed good sense in love#both times his mother was standing right there telling him what to do so take from that what you will#but lestat does enjoy negative attention and fucking around to find out and needling powerful entities who are enamored with him#it takes so much for him to say yes you're hot. but still no#you are too good at fucking will my head and too willing to take liberties with my body i don't like this#though iirc part of it was having experienced Armand's mind whammy he didn't want to leave him in proximity to Gabrielle#once again mommy issues carry the day#anyway#press says iwtv#I have a post percolating in my heart about the reversal of Gabby telling Lestat she just wants to die knowing he's safe in Paris with his#boyfriend#explicitly severing their codependent you're my other half my twin me but a man thing#and Gabby telling him to leave Nicki with Armand and run#but it's actually half a post that amounts to a) this too is a perversion brought on by living past your own death and#b) actually though it's her being a good mom in both instances#like probably the two times she most clearly manages that are#leave this place and me and live your own best life without guilt or shame#and leave your boyfriend who has had a psychotic break and hates you now. do not involve yourself with the sewer creature who is violently#obsessed with you.#she packed up her kid and she left! also did some other things but we don't need to talk about that#cw: incest#interview with the vampire
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sometimes i think about when jordan called declan dauntless in the dreamer trilogy and then i think about both aurora and mor calling declan dauntless and i need to lie face down on the floor for five hours until i feel normal again
#oh declan the boy without fear the boy who would risk everything the boy who is not just dauntless but reckless#declan who shoulders all of nialls legacy by himself because he can't let it endanger his brothers#his brothers who dont even know of the legacy at all and declan#dauntless declan who fears nothing he cant let them find out because if they do his efforts of shielding them from it will have been in vain#and then they do find out and what does it do it gets them killed and isnt that the exact thing declan gave up everything to prevent#so declan who fears nothing and has nothing left to protect because his brothers are gone#his brothers are gone and so he truly does not fear anything anymore because what does he have to be afraid of when everything that matters#has been taken already#dauntless declan reckless boy walking into a building full of people intent on getting him as well but his mother was right he is daring and#brave and dauntless and so he goes in and he does what he knows best he has no fear#declan lynch#trc#td3#i think about him such a normal amount#jordeclan#jordan hennessy
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1.10 / 1.09
#something to be said not just about how Ibrahim aims to replace his past family with his present bond with SĆ¼leiman (and Musti and Mahi#branch off of that bond) but also how Hatice fits in all of this - the one Ibrahim leans on everytime he's likely to lose SS is *her*#she isn't just the future he wants to secure in the castle but also the past he yearns for outside of it especially in that initial period#of their relationship; and not just any past but a very particular fragment of it - the next most valuable person of his past other than#his brother: his *mother*. it's no wonder him playing *his mother's* melodies with the violin marks the beginning of their story and stays#an important motif throughout. just like Ibrahim's mother Hatice is so familiar yet so out of reach (and this unreachability accumulates in#E13 - Ibrahim leaves for Parga thus returning to his past but leaving Hatice behind but *then* finding out his mother is gone too.#*both* people he wants to be close to soo much are *gone* in that moment. there's a link between them because of this. also Hatice tieing#lbrahim's mother to āheavenā as well and her ālooking at their happiness from aboveā Ibro responds with in E14.) Hatice will distance#more and more from that role later on until lbrahim starts to outright abandon this whole 'return to the past' idea with Hatice and#search for it through Nigar instead. but yeah anyway I feel these two scenes are the perfect encapsulation of how complicated#the past is for lbrahim; he avoids remembering it because it *hurts* to remember both because why would he remember it when he already has#an established future and because deep down he resents what he's become and established as that isn't ever permanent and he's lost all else#*himself* most of all as who is a person without his roots? he wants to forget them but can't ever do it so what's left is replacing them#*all of them*; when he finds Hatice too he wants to have *both* her and SĆ¼leiman and SS marrying Hatice off directly challanges that want#up to that point he believed in the possibility of their love more than Hatice did; now? he seems as lost as she is not knowing what to do#the only way not to lose either of them is accepting SĆ¼leiman's order convincing himself that this is how it should be no matter how much#that hurts and would bury him even deeper; he can't bear it so he searches for a solution - and when he sees Rhodes sea? it hits him#it hits him how low he's actually sunk through the losses and if he can't āfully* replace the past he'll *fully* return to the past letting#*everything else* once hidden out as well. not to mention how right before he left to Parga he was brought to fear for his literal death#and then he is given more power that also brings some uncertainty with it and that likely scared him cementing his departure for Parga#directly following Piri Pasha's advice to let power go as it won't let *you* go#(btw a big contrast between S01 and S03 Ibrahim can be drawn in his relationship with Piri Pasha and his relationship with Ebusuud)#magnificent century#muhteÅem yĆ¼zyıl#muhtesem yuzyil#ibrahim pasha#(sorry for the disorganized tags but if I kept it like it was I would've exceeded the limit before I even finished š
)#(just Ibrahim and Hatice in general are people who latch onto each other to get over their losses and ache for peace amidst their turbulent#lives and positions and that's what keeps them close and will later too)
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i only want love triangles if it's whatever fucked up polygon junmo kicheol and euijeong have going on
#the worst of evil#ranting#idk how to articulate how juicy it is#junmo's fierce protectiveness of his wife - he trusts her but can't help his jealousy fear or frustration while trapped in the situation#euijeong hurting but putting her own life on the line worried for her husband while unpacking the memories of her first love#she can't help but sympathize with kicheol and what he's endured; haven't seen much of how she feels rn but it must be c o n f l i c t e d#(not necessarily even in a romantic way but wanting to root for a person chasing their goals who was once so important to you)#(all while grieving her mother without the support of her literal goddamn spouse by her side)#and kicheol. also grieving and trying to establish a place for himself and his crew yet drawn to junmo despite the red flags#his panic and desperation when jungmo bled out on him which must have triggered his own memories of losing taeho#junmo who has every reason to despise kicheol barely concealing his general rage but protects him like it's second nature at every turn#all while conflicted as a bystander to atrocities (and now willfully leaving another cop to die to protect himself his wife and the mission#getting mentally and physically pummeled left and right just bc his superiors demand it from him#all to please euijeong's family by using the promotions to prove himself and get rid of the stigma weighing him down#like !!!#and haven't even touched on kicheol wooing euijeong against his buddy's wishes and in such a pure heart fluttering way#accepting the risk for a second chance to bathe in the bright light she used to shine on his life#OMG AND BIBI'S ENTRANCE!! junmo realizing her interest gives him leverage and agency but struggling to use it to his advantage#it's soooo messy and i'm obsessed#that funeral arc is gonna haunt me for years#as is the tension during the pat down which def was supposed to be like a gang pride/dignity/lack of power against the jp folks thing#also testing their relationship and responsibilites as leader subordinate#but felt charged around whether kicheol would protest or junmo would accept the manhandling in totally different š ways#goddamn i wrote an essay and this doesn't even scratch the surface of the meat of the show#tldr; i have many many feelings and for once the 'love triangle' isn't making me gauge out my own eyeballs#it's about power it's about raising the stakes and revealing things about the characters w/o dominating the plot
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If you donāt mind me asking, how was your mother like?
If I'm being entirely honest, I don't think I remember enough to share a large-scale story like you were probably hoping for, Anon, and for that I .. apologize.
My mother, though... From what little I can remember, she was strong, resilient. It was just us two and yet she made it work. I can recall watching her cook in our little at-home kitchen, and she'd share the steps to each recipe since I was curious. No one in Utaya deserved what happened to them, but I find myself wondering about her far more often than the others. Mostly on the why's. Why did that have to happen to her in particular? She was kind, that much I can say for certain. She, before Milsiril, comforted me about ... well, assumptions made about me. She never once let me think it was true.
My memories of her are scarce. And I wish they weren't.
... Thank you for asking me about her.
#dungeon meshi rp#kabru of utaya#ask blog#ask#anon#mod: main tagging this one because god. Kabru's mom.#mod: āassumptions madeā referring to the comic in the adventurer's bible about folks thinking kabru was a monster's child#mod: anyway taste of kabru without his masks up on the blog finally because how do you speak about such a horrifying thing without slipping#mod: how do you speak about the mother you wish never left without showing your true self at least a little#mod: anyway i got teary writing this out
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Kaveh's relationship with his mother is fascinating. She's alive but she's gone. A massive desert plus an ocean away. His father sank to his death in that very desert. He has a copy of the architecture textbook she wrote; in his journal, he nitpicks the cover design. He mentions his absent mother's name, Faranak, but not his dead father's. He calls her mother, not maman or even mom. It's implied he learned his trade from her. His journal reveals that he feels agonizing guilt about his father. He has never spoken of visiting his mom in Fontaine, nor her returning to visit Sumeru.
like what the fuck is going on. There's intimacy here, but it's strained. There is the person she was, of whom Kaveh speaks fondly, and the person she is, who he neither knows nor seeks. HUH?????????
#iirc one of Kaveh's hangout event endings involved unlocking an old box of his mother's. so again. mementos of a woman who yet breathes#WHAT DOES HE FEEL TOWARDS HER? DID SHE LEAVE WITHOUT TELLING HIM? DID HE WANT HER TO STAY BUT UNDERSTOOD HER REASON FOR LEAVING?#DOES HE AVOID CONTACTING HER FOR HER SAKE? TO AVOID DISTRACTING HER? OR BECAUSE HE DOESN'T WANT TO?#WE'RE ABOUT TO MOVE ON TO NATLAN BUT WE HAVEN'T FIGURED OUT WTF IS GOING ON W KAVEH'S MOM YET#LET ME IN HOYO!! LET ME IN!!!!!#kaveh#snowgames#grief#Genshin Impact#when did this stange rift form? as far back as his dad's death? was their family never the same after that? what does his mom think of her#lost partner? were they on the rocks? was he the only reason she left her home nation? is that why she returned to Fontaine? or did she love#Sumeru but couldn't bear to stay in her partner's home without him?
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(Going insane boinkinh one AU in my head)
Hey hey hey
May I interest you in
(Slowly slides my FaaF AU towards you but void just Disappears without a trace one day before the accolade)
Teehee
#thylacines can talk#faaf au#i love this au very yummy. a very fun twist on how Flower's dynamic with their parents would progress afterwards#the vessels live but the void exits their bodies in quite a violent manner (extreme pain and literally throwing up an entire person worth of#void). Flower was on guard duty and theyre found barely conscious in a pool of rapidly evaporating void. passes out seconds later#PK also had the displeasure of experiencing extene pain and burning as void forced its way out through his skin <3 And his moulds all melted#and evaporated. after the initial shock wears off theyre hit with āOh No#the vesselā and rush to find them. Well somebody else was already looking for the royal pair about this#Flower wakes up dazed and in pain in their father's workshop. their stomach hurts their throat burns and they feel lightheaded. the entire#place is considerably brighter than they remember and in they can hear two faint voices in the background but theyre too preoccupied with#examining their now pure white hand in shock to focus on anything else. until they hear their mother say āMy wyrm they're awakeā and#suddenly their parents are by their side. Now the two have no idea what void leaving their body might have done to them. Are they still#hollow? are they still dead? do they understand anything are they sentient? or was what was done pernament even without the void? do they#have the mind of a child if their sentience was restored? or do they remember anything? So WL stays by their side and helps them sit up#while their father goes to grab his tools. She's trying to keep them calm and comfort them but theyre still too disoriented to pay her much#attention. Until their father checks their breathing and they yelp audibly from the cool metal contacting their skin and suddenly they seem#much more alert. theyve never experienced true coldness before. PK quickly apologises and tries to be gentler with them. Theyre breathing#properly and they have a heartbeat. And he just pauses for a long while just. listening to their heart beating. Many emotions to be had#after the exam's over he asks them point blank how theyre feeling. And Flower looks up at him still seeming a little disoriented. and then#they lower their hand to their stomach and mutter 'My tummy hurts...a-and my throat burns'. It's to be expected after the way the void#left their body. so he goes to grab them some water and meds and they also ask for food and a mirror. And after he returns they just stare#at themself in the mirror and pull on their bangs for a while then blurt out 'I have your eyes' when PK asks if everything's okay. And he#and he almost chokes up as he replies 'Yeah...Yeah you do'. Flower eventually spins a lie that they remember everything but its all distant#and blurry. Like they were not aware until now. They figured it'd be better to not break their hearts#And now the three have to figure out how to be a family while PK is also scrambling to find a new solution to the infection#oops i meant to only give a brief rundown in the tags which is why it was in the tags. but i got too invested KDHDKFB
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I think I may just have to accept that my mum had absolutely buckwild manic pixie dream girl game back in the day
#my posts#I feel so unhinged right now#apparently there is a man who has been holding a flame for my mother for like 40something years#this man has added me (who he has NEVER MET) to his WILL#for more inheritance than his actual flesh and blood son will get#babe what is u doing#my mum will not fuck u just bc my dad died#baby girl this move just seems very desperate#who am I to discourage my mums rich ex from having a midlife guilt complex and leaving us money I guess#but what the FUCK do his kids and real family think about this#like my guy you literally had ur chance and blew it#u left and married another woman without breaking up with her !! she is never gonna take u back!!#absolute best kind of family drama bc I have 0 stakes and no involvement#look if my guy wants to soothe his guilty conscience by throwing his money at us thatās fine I guess ???#my mum thinks itās a big man move to throw money at ur problems tho lol
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the way i've been struck down by the thought of lilia stealing silver from his cradle in retaliation for what his supposed family may have done to malleus' parents in a wild moment of grief
#twst spoilers#left their baby prince and only heir without his beloved mother and father#lilia's treasured friends?#oops#gonna snatch your only child#guess you can't have that anymore!!#live with the horror of not knowing what'll happen to him in fae clutches!!!
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Maturing is just me realizing that I don't actually hate children. I just like to keep a distance.
Because after being an art teacher and seeing all kinds of parents, I realise that one of my greatest fear is becoming one of those parents that nitpick their children's artworks and criticise instead of encouraging.
#mango rants#i left that job long ago because terrible boss and shitty fucking parents#taught a 10 year old boy who was an anxious mess because his mother was a perfectionist and she would scold and embarrass him in public#if his artwork did not look like a master painting#i saw so much shit thatās like free birth control for me because i dont wanna end up like those parents#like dont get me wrong ik some parents are doing their best for their children but bffr#let them grow and learn on their own without you nitpicking and criticizing them
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