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On February 25th 1411 Bishop Henry Wardlaw established St Andrews as a university
This is not the official date for St Andrews inauguration there are a few dates I have found. Teaching began in the community of St Andrews in 1410, but the University wasn’t formally constituted by the issue of a papal bull in 1413, even the University’s own webpage says it was founded between 1410 and 1414, I’m simply putting today date down as a marker and definite significant date init’s history. Whatever the date, it is generally accepted that it is the third oldest University in the English speaking world and 19th in the whole of the world.
Bishop Henry Wardlaw was educated in Oxford and Paris and spent a lot of time on the continent of Europe, notably at Avignon during the time of division in the Catholic church. On Wardlaw’s return to Scotland he was made Bishop of St Andrews, he was a very important figure in Scotland at the time and was tutor to King James I, who he went on to crown in 1424.
He issued the University’s charter of foundation in February 1411, and the privileges of the new seat of learning were confirmed by a bull of the Avignon Pope Benedict XIII, dated 28 August 1413. The university was to be “an impregnable rampart of doctors and masters to resist heresy.”
With the declaration of St Andrews Priory on 4 February 1414, the University of St Andrews may be said to have come fully and formally into existence. There were six bulls included the bull of foundation and a bull confirming Wardlaw’s charter, although the text of all six is known, only the confirmation of Wardlaw’s grant survives in the original and still bears its bulla or lead seal, so again this is why February 25th is given as a date of it’s foundation.
Regardless of what date you believe the University of St Andrews is the oldest of the four ancient universities of Scotland and the third oldest university in the English-speaking world. Recently St Andrews was ranked 3rd in the British Isles and the only Scottish university in the top 20 of the 119 universities ranked. It was also ranked 92nd in the world. When size is taken into account, St Andrews ranks second in the world out of all small to medium-sized fully comprehensive universities.
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I like to think combat training for these two became more complicated as they got older, if you know what I mean
I colored the last one first and then lowered my standards. give it up for 10yo ambrosius and his glaringly yellow shirt
#also I realized while drawing this that I’ve been making his hair longer than it is in the movie#oh well#nimona#nimona 2023#nimona movie#ballister boldheart#ambrosius goldenloin#ballister x ambrosius#goldenheart#finley cannot draw#I learned that I do not draw children very often#it’s FINEEEEE#anyway. I live for content of the boys in their institute era. mutual pining. sappiness. never being able to tell anyone.#increasingly charged sparring practice#YOU GET IT
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labor psa: a scab is somebody who does struck work. a scab may be a union member or not—usually not, in many industries. if you are doing work that would ordinarily be done by a person on strike, you are a scab, even if you yourself are not part of a union whose members are striking
for example, an influencer who starts doing promo work for struck companies that would ordinarily be done by actors: that is a scab
regular person going to see a movie: not a scab
annoyed addition: customer going to coffee shop whose baristas are on strike to get a coffee made by a scab: not scabbing, but crossing the picket line
#i saw a post today that said only people who should be on strike are scabs#and that is incorrect#managers are often scabs frex#(this happened at john deere iirc and was disastrous)#sometimes scabs get bused in from other towns#or just other departments or whatever#(happens a lot with grad student strikes where the institution tries to hire undergrads to grade)#anyway#crossing a picket line is a different thing also#like if starbucks baristas are on strike and you go get a coffee made by a scab you're crossing the picket line but not scabbing#we should all learn labor history in schools but of course#that would defeat the purpose of schools#we should bring back harsher consequences for scabs btw in my opinion#not to say all scabs should get the casey jones the union scab treatment but#well i do think it would benefit everyone if that song was back in the popular consciousness#with apologies to the actual casey jones who was apparently not a scab at all
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😟 Who's Really the Sorriest Doctor?
When we think of an apologetic Doctor, the 10th Doctor immediately leaps to mind. But is he really the most apologetic incarnation? Here's a number crunch of all the times the Doctor has apologised ...
These are from televised episodes/telemovie only, using keywords like 'sorry,' 'apologise,' and 'apology.' Retracted apologies or those used for clarification haven't been included. Episodes counted in serials for classic era. And of course, there's not guarantee how many of these were genuine apologies ...
Key Observations
Most Apologetic Doctor (By Average): The 15th Doctor takes the crown with a whopping 4.67 apologies per episode. Though, given his short stint so far, there's still plenty of time for that to change.
The Usual Suspects: The 10th Doctor, unsurprisingly, ranks high with 2.79 apologies per episode. But the 11th and 13th Doctors nudge him aside with averages of 3.09 and 3.16, respectively.
Not So Sorry?: The 1st Doctor had a measly 0.70 apologies per episode. Grumpy and not in the least bit sorry about it.
The Rise of Remorse: There's a clear trend of increasing apologies as we move through the modern era. Recent incarnations (10th, 11th, 12th, 13th, 14th, and 15th) seem to be getting more in touch with their feelings.
The Sorriest of Them All: The Tenth Doctor might not be the sorriest on average, but with 145 total apologies, he's got the highest raw number of sorries.
Companion-Driven Apologies: Some Doctors apologise more depending on their companions. For instance, the 12th Doctor's high apology rate coincided with Clara and less so for Bill.
If you like data, you'll like this.
Whoniverse Facts for Friday by GIL
Any purple text is educated guesswork or theoretical. More content ... →📫Got a question? | 📚Complete list of Q+A and factoids →😆Jokes |🩻Biology |🗨️Language |🕰️Throwbacks |🤓Facts →🫀Gallifreyan Anatomy and Physiology Guide (pending) →⚕️Gallifreyan Emergency Medicine Guides →📝Source list (WIP) →📜Masterpost If you're finding your happy place in this part of the internet, feel free to buy a coffee to help keep our exhausted human conscious. She works full-time in medicine and is so very tired 😴
#doctor who#dr who#dw eu#gallifrey#GIL#gallifrey institute for learning#GIL facts#whoniverse#TOTW: I'm sorry so sorry
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You're not uniquely talented or hard working you just went to the right schools.
Yes, yes! This is exactly why I started Philosophy Tube! Why shouldn't someone else, anyone else, have access to the education I got??? The intellectual and cultural heritage of our species is for everyone, not just privileged people like me! :)
#something else I'm learning from friends with ADHD is that I'm privileged to have the kind of brain that works in a way our society rewards#AND the institutions that I was able to attend and use to grow were often themselves the product of a society that not only excluded#but actively exploited other people!#And still do!#So not only should we widen access#We should give people the power to critique those institutions too#Education should give you power over your own life
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this may be an unpopular opinion, but i personally think that jeff and britta should've gotten married back in season 3 and just dealt with the consequences of that action for the rest of the show
#is that tropey? yes. would they very likely just get divorced? yes. do i care? NO#give me jeffbritta arguing about cohabitation. britta has cats jeff has to learn to live with bc it's cheaper to live together.#give me domestic moments the two of them share ABSOLUTELY IGNORING that this is a Thing married couples do#give me them slowly realizing they LIKE being married to each other#britta still talks about the institution of marriage being a scam and misogynistic and annie's like "you're married?!?!'#and britta's like 'yes and...?'#basically it's slowburn jeffbritta but they're already married and refuse to get divorced because they like the tax benefits#community#community nbc#jeff winger#britta perry#jeffbritta#redstreet
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God, I hate when my body does that thing where I wake up way too early but I’m bored of sleeping now so I have trouble getting back to sleep even though I really need to to avoid crashing and being sleep deprived later on
Anyway stop calling Crimson Peak dark academia; there’s literally no academia in the movie and you just sound like you don’t know the word “Gothic“ or like you’re spam tagging for some stupid TikTok or Instagram reasons 
#personal#I hate that so much#it is NOT it is NOT it is NOT#where is the academia. Fucking. point to the institution of scholarship or higher learning in that movie#something cannot be dark academia without FUCKING ACADEMIA in it!
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the thing about being a disabled grad student is that if you want even half a chance you constantly have to not only reveal but interrogate and explain your softest most vulnerable parts. while people around you act like this is just completely normal and actually that is not the softest most vulnerable part of you and actually you are exactly the same as all of them. so you feel like you are in disguise as exactlythesame while also completely exposed. and you just have to live like that. absolutely insane
#mod felix#general disclaimer that this is my experience and this is how i feel and not necessarily how everyone feels obviously#but . i feel this way . currently#well and i think part of it is that like... people act like the institution isn't actively hostile to like. any marginalized person really#i mean this post is about disability but i'm sure it applies to other people too#and if you read this and say 'this is also how it feels to be x' i see and support you#anyway. posting this here because like... i feel like as a blog with a relatively large (for tumblr) audience like.#i feel the need to be honest and transparent about my experiences in academia#because i know there are people following us who like. want to be in academia or who already are#and like . i really like the program i'm in and i'm learning a lot but it's also a very hard thing to do even if you're totally abled#which like. i'll be honest i think the sort of person who says 'i want to learn ancient greek for the rest of my life'#is unlikely to be totally abled#like i'm not the only disabled person in my program either. and most people i interact with like.#have a base level of understanding about disability#but it's still like... surreal to operate in like. an institution that puts pressure on everyone to act like disability doesn't exist#i feel like there's just like. constant dissonance
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you never learn about yourself like what you learn about yourself while watching tma
#The amount of hidden phobias that show has shown me#Or in my case rn im watching hermit archives but still the point still stands#Watching The Red Kings Tradgedy episode rn and shaking#Spookily#tma podcast#jon tma#martin tma#tma#tma jon#tma martin#tma shitpost#jon sims#jonathan sims#magnus archives#The flesh#Scares me so much#the magnus pod#the magnus archives#the magnus institute#the magnus universe#Or just horror in general#You learn about yourself#malevolent showed me that platonic relationships are more meaningful to romantic (or atleast in my case)#It also taught me to be afraid of hot blind men who talk to themselves#the hermit archives
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RealAgeAU Drabble - Session Zero
Hello! I am back! @spotaus get in here friend! Next drabble just dropped!
First Drabble Prev Drabble Next Drabble
Okay. Before anyhting else. This is in the first spring the guys are in farmtale. Nightmare has been six for almost a year now, like 11 months ish. So the gang has been in Farmtale for like 8 months ish (they have had night with them for 10 months)
Look. You all agreed to this timeline hopping when you started reading my drabbles. I have warned you all at the beginning of this ride. ANYWAY! We going in!
*-------------------------*
Ngihtmare stares up at the building as he keeps a very tight hold on Dust's shirt. Dust still has him in his arms as he calmly waits by the enterance.
Killer had dropped them off for now and was going to park the car while they waited under the little covering by the front door.
Dust nuzzles his skull softly "Hey... it is just for a little while. And I shouldn't be long."
Nightmare just pushes closer to Dust "Why need to even go here? It is stupid. You teach me stuff."
Dust nods "Oh trust me. I agree. I am perfectly able to teach things." Dust looks unhappy as well.
Fauna, the nice deer monster from their town, laughs softly "But unless you actually get registered you aren't allowed to do that."
Dust huffs and Nightmare looks at her "So? Why do i need to go here?" Nightmare could just take a break while Dust gets the stupid license to home school and then they can pick it up again. Dust already said they aren't ina hurry.
Fauna smiles softly "This is also to see how you are doing mentally Nightmare. A lot has happened and your health is important."
Ngihtmare just pushes clsoer ot Dust "I am fine." he is fine. He has his... his four! He has a home and peolpe who care about him. What else could he want? Sure his body aches and if he moves a lot it still hurts... and when he is alone at night the nightmares return. But that is beside the point!
He is happier and safer than he has been for a long time. How can they just not see that?
Fauna smiles softly "Well you have been healing a lot. but this is a good thing! you will get to learn so many things, and they will figure out where you are with your schooling to help you better focus and see where you can learn things. Not to forget other children to play with."
Nightmare freezes at the implication of other children and looks up at Dust begging. Please. Please don't leave him.
Dust nuzzles his skull and mutters softly "I will stay right by your side."
Fauna is clearly about to say something but then Killer rushes unver the cover and pants as he drips water "This rain!! It gets everywhere!"
Dust shoots him a disapproving look "really?"
Killer grins "Had to walk quite the end to get here. No parking places. Well! Lets get this whole mental evaluation over with!" and he marches in. Dust shrugs and follows him.
They check in with the receptionist as Nightmare keeps his skull against Dust's collarbone. He watches as he stays quiet to try and listen. file away eveyrhting he hears and keep an eye on where the exit is. Just in case.
They get to the right room and meet some people inside. The director Augustus and the head teacher Miss March.
They talk for a while and Nightmare just keeps trying to stay plastered against Dust. He knows it is dumb and needy and clingy and he shouldn't be this weak after all he experienced but he is terrified and Dust is safe.
They do the stupid tests and talk and they just keep asking him questions he doens't want or know how to answer.
Then they have lunch and all Nightmae wants to do is go home and sleep in their bed.lay together with his dad- four! His four! and relax. let today pass and never think about it again.
They have a few more talks before they meet up with Augustus again and he smiles at them "I must say i am relieved."
Killer looksup and shoots Dust a look as well.
Dust frowns and Ngihtmare feels hismelf be pulled closer "about what?"
Augustus blinks and chuckles "I am sorry. I didn't mean it in any negative way. It is just. I read the file you put together with miss Fauna and I had been worried. but. It seems like your son is a very strong and brave young man."
Nightmare is unsure how to react and just pushes closer to Dust. He knows it is part of the story that Dust is his biological dad but they joy at hearing that bond being refered between them? It is a lot.
Augustus sighs "There is trauma. that is obvious. However. He speaks for himself. and while scared he just needs some gentle encouragement from either of you to feel reassured. The ability for him to still form these meaningfull and supportive bonds with others really showcases that he is on the right track to heal."
He pulls over another report "The physical health is also healing. Very slowly but with the slow recovery of his own magic it is to be expected and all well within the realm of normal healing."
he sighs as he looks at them "Now... about his schooling. He is a smart kid. Very far with reading and languages. But the other aspects of his schooling are very lacking at the moment. but nothing that can't be caught up with." Augustus waits a moment before continuing "Normally. I would recommend full days here."
Killer hisses and glares "No." Nightmare shrinks closer to Dust as Dust just pulls him closer again.
Augustus nods "I had already assumed that would be your answer." he smiles "I will still have to try. I assure you he will be safe here. We have a top staff that all work together to ensure the safety of the children. We are specialised in offering help for children of bad situations. TO help them heal and experience the things any child should get the chance to experience."
Dust glares "He doesn't want to."
Augustus nods "of coruse he doesn't. It is new and scary. It is away from those who keep him safe. But it would help him grow. help him heal. see that not eveyrone in this world is out to hurt him. that those who hurt him were the outliners and should never have gotten the chance to see him."
Dust frowns as Killer jsut glares "We are not leaving him here for days on end."
Augustus nods "While we recommend the full program we can always do a shorter one. One that focusses on trying to help him catch up wiht his learnign and to just keep an eye in case his mental health degrades." he pulls over another piece of paper and hands it to Killer.
Killer snatches it and reads it.
Augustus speaks calmly "It is half a day a week. Normally for children who spend a long time in a hospital. It will mean that he two hours of private tutoring and after that he would spend an hour with the class before and another hour after lunch." he smiles "a much more gentle introduction to school and being near others."
Killer and dust share a look.
Killer leans closer "And how long would this all take? Seeing as we are planning on home schooling him again as soon as Dust got his license."
Augustus looks thoguhtful "Catching up with the school work will take a long time. mentally healing fuly even longer. But as you are not planning on using the full program we can at least give him a stable start to continue healing from."
Fauna frowns at them "What if it turns out that he likes classes? that he likes being in a group?"
Nightmare shakes his skull as he pushes closer to Dust.
Dust rubs his spine softly and Ngihtmare feels hismefl relax. Killer speaks with a grin "If. and only IF Nightmare says he prefers group classes and stuff. Then we will look into options."
Dust nods as he keeps holding him "It will be a long process. We will need to make sure the people he is near know not to touch him. THe children will have to know to be gentle. Nightmare will have to rest a lot and if anything happens with his magic we would have to be called." Dust looks pointedly at Augustus and Nightmare sees the other shiver under the intimidating glare.
Dust just keeps staring "Which is just the start of the list."
Killer grins and the tension disappears "Which is why one of us will remain nearby just in case!"
Augustus frowns "That would go against the aim of the project to help him build up his ability to trust people. We would be at large of a risk that he could fall back into habits of only going to you."
Killer nods "I dn't see anything wrong wiht that." he glares "We are not leaving him. and you can't make us leave."
Augustus frowns and thinks deeply before nodding "What if. You don't stay in the room with him. but you can remain near? We have our waiting rooms for people between appointments or waiting for pick up. YOu could remain there. That is nearby in case of emergencies and knowing you would be in the building could be helpful to make everything feel safer?"
Nightmare is kinda shocked at how considering this guy is. He had seen others before. Who just demanded everyone do what they say because they know better. And this guy probably knows better. He has seen many people before and helped many people. It is why miss Fauna encouraged them to go to this place in the nearby city over the small town psychologist.
Something about having build this whole thing to help others and everything being specialized to be able to help those who have been hurt in this way.
But here he is... letting them decide stuff.
Killer looks considered and him and Dust share a look. DUst shoots Augustus a look "Why are you being so okay with us wanting things different and special?"
Augustus looks shocked before laughing a bit. Then he smiles "Because we are all different people. Two can have the exact same thing happen to them and have a completely different response to the trauma. Two can have the exact same response to the trauma yet need different healing plans." he sighs "We are all individuals who deal and work through things in our own ways. I can advice the most successful routine and what i have seen works before. But you three will always know you three best. You know what you can and can't handle."
Augustus smiles "Maybe after a very sessions and classes I will have a better personalised idea on what could help Nightmare. But before I can do that I need to get to know him a bit more. The mind is a complex thing. It takes time to understand. And you can't understand it if you aren't willing to listen."
Fauna smiles and nods "THe body is rather easy to heal. It will heal if giving the right things it needs. But the mind won't heal unless it is ready to heal. Until it wants to heal."
Augustus nods "exactly. It takes a lot of effort to work through trauma. But the first step is wanting it. Which is why i won't force a program or routine unto anyone, even if i truly believe it will help them."
Killer and Dust consider it and end up agreeing to talk with everyone at home about it.
They do a few more tests and scans. mostly on his spine and ribs to note down the progress. After that they say goodbye to Fauna and leave the building.
The rain had calmed downa lot and turned into a light drizzle as they walk back towards the truck.
Dust hums and nuzzles his skull "you okay?"
Nightmare shrugs "I don't want to do school there."
Dust blinsk adn laughs "I don't think any of us want you to do that either." then he sighs "But it is slightly required to at least get some help."
Killer groans "For real. If we don't at least try this people will keep being problematic." then he frowns "It is also nice to have more medical experts check your wounds nad magic tiny boss."
Nightmare frowns as he pushes close to Dust and thinks.
Eventually they get to their ride and Nightmare mutters "Only for a little while. Just to calm people down." then he wants homeschool again.
Dust nuzzles his skull "We wouldn't ask anything else of you. an we will be wiht you the whole time."
Yeah... that makes the idea bearable. As long as it doesn't take too long of course.
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First Drabble Prev Drabble Next Drabble
#utmv#realageau#nightmare sans#deaged nightmare#killer sans#dust sans#And then Nightmare wiht to school to do some catch up with his school work and!#Well... we all know how that ended... *looks at Hard Learned Lesson*#Sad part is that the place they went to really is helpful!#it is like an institute to help young children heal from trauma. Actually a really good place!#It is just ashame that ONE person in there was a bad egg and didn't take the safety as serious and well... We all know how that ended.#but that is how Nightmare's school career started!#For as long as it lasted!#Because it is actually a really good idea to get a traumatised child checked by professionals and see how he is doing mentally.#Which. all things considered? the baby is doing surprisingly well!#so yeah. school and therapy. Which ended after a month is.#Dust by then had his license to homeschool Nightmare :D#also the drama of Hard learned lesson happened around that time but shhhhhhhh
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Institute of France (Learned Society)
College of the Four Nations -&- French Academy
#Institut de France#Institute of France#Learned Society#Academie Francaise#French Academy#Art#College des Quatre Nations#College of the Four Nations#Architecture#Street Scene#Cloudy Sky#French Moments#Paris#France
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The met doesn’t call these 供石/scholars rocks, they only say that they are supposed to look like mountains, which they are. But they don’t mention that they are not carved but found in nature, and are intended to stimulate contemplation through observing the natural contours of the stone! Sitting in front of this giant horse also gave me a great sense of peace!
#+ me lately :)#one of the only non Buddha facts I learned in East Asian art history#but really I think the lack of information inhibits your ability to view and enjoy art like this so much :(#not surprising from a colonial institution like the met but disappointing nonetheless#they have a whole video installation about degas’ ballerina sculpture skirt but not even a proper label on these
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I was trying to learn more about Japan's parapsychology craze in the 80s and 90s and was having a surprisingly difficult time finding good sources on Google. So I kept trying different search terms and finally this comes up
cia??? freedom of information act???
Anyway!! I clicked on it and the page is "down for maintenance" and I have never been more consumed with curiosity lmao.
I had no idea that Google would search through FOIA documents...
#I genuinely don't even know how to tag this lmao#I KNOW I HAVE NICHE INTERESTS BUT THEY'RE NOT LIKE... 'OF INTEREST TO THE GOVERNMENT' NICHE..#I remember reading an article about the institutes that did research on 'gifted' children in Japan...#I think Sony did one?#I showed dad late night with the devil the other night so I've been thinking about all that#I know more about the American parapsychology craze but I'd like to learn more about the Japanese one#I remember being really fascinated by the very different attitudes Americans vs Japanese have about NRMs and such#while I was taking a class on NRMs in college#and there's some overlap with the whole esper thing#don't mind me I'm just rambling about topics that like five other people on earth care about
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Mortifying "new workplace" experience unfolding rn.....joined a Zoom call for a virtual department seminar for a department that is not my own, but overlaps with my interest area. Everyone but myself and the guest speaker (from another institution) has their camera off. This poor speaker is lecturing to a blank wall of Zoom prof pics + me, desperately trying to nod along and provide some semblance of audience feedback.....to the point I can barely follow the content of the talk 😬 and nobody else in this call knows who the rando who 'forgot' to turn their camera off is 😭
Grin and bearing it through the embarrassment....I know how excruciating it is to lecture to a blank screen....
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Converting Gallifreyan Age to Human Years
GIL's noticed some confusion about how old Gallifreyans are in human years. Have no fear; GIL's here to help.
✨ Quick Answer
If you're not interested in the breakdown, here's the formula:
For Gallifreyan ages under 100: (see below).
For Gallifreyan ages over 100: Human age = 18 + ((Gallifreyan age - 100) * 0.0133)
Here's a straight conversion table:
Continue reading for the maths...
🌌 Gallifreyan Ageing: Some Key Facts
Gallifreyans physically mature at 100 years old (roughly like humans at 18).
They're considered socially mature at 200 years old.
They typically live between 4000 and 7000 years, with 13 different bodies over their lifetime, each lasting around 450-500 years (though both can be more).
The 10th and later incarnations tend to have shorter lifespans, around 350-400 years per body.
For comparison, the average human lifespan is around 73 years.
🔢 How Does Gallifreyan Age Compare to Human Age?
To make the conversion work, we use a two-step approach that adjusts for the different life stages of Gallifreyans:
1. For the First 100 Gallifreyan Years:
Gallifreyans mature rapidly during their first 100 years, and we map these years to 18 human years. This period includes:
0-8 Gallifreyan years = Infancy
8-16 Gallifreyan years = Childhood
16-100 Gallifreyan years = Teenage years (ages 11-18)
2. After 100 Gallifreyan Years:
Once Gallifreyans reach physical maturity at 100, their ageing slows significantly. We scale their entire lifespan to fit within a typical human lifespan of 73 years, using the formula 1 Gallifreyan year = 0.0133 human years for ages beyond 100.
📐 Why These Numbers?
The reasoning behind these numbers is based on two main factors:
Different ageing rates at different life stages: Gallifreyans physically mature by 100 years, just like humans reach maturity around 18 years old. But after that, their ageing slows down significantly. We needed two different formulas to account for these different ageing phases.
Mapping a long lifespan to a human one: Gallifreyans live for 4000-7000 years, far longer than humans. To make sense of this, we compress their later years to fit into a human context, ensuring that even the oldest Gallifreyan reaches a human-equivalent age of about 70-80 years.
So there you have it! So next time you meet a 900-year-old Time Lord, don't call them old. They're only 28.
More content ... →📫Got a question? | 📚Complete list of Q+A and factoids →😆Jokes |🩻Biology |🗨️Language |🕰️Throwbacks |🤓Facts →🫀Gallifreyan Anatomy and Physiology Guide (pending) →⚕️Gallifreyan Emergency Medicine Guides →📝Source list (WIP) →📜Masterpost If you're finding your happy place in this part of the internet, feel free to buy a coffee to help keep our exhausted human conscious. She works full-time in medicine and is so very tired 😴
#doctor who#dr who#gallifrey#GIL#gallifrey institute for learning#whoniverse#dw eu#gallifreyans#GIL trending#gallifreyan biology#Time Lord biology#gallifreyan culture
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It's missing my father hours rn so imma just dump a bunch of pictures here and cry
( sorry i don't know the source of anything I just had them on my phone)
(also dont read the tags i just need to let it out lol)
#I just realized I can call him dad easier than my real dad and now I understand why am I so damn attached to him#I always knew he was a parental figure for me#but now I connected the dots#How when u have an absent dad and a d34d mom a guy shows up in ur life#that tells u life advice that both of ur parents failed to do so#and makes u feel safe the first time in ur life#ofc ud become attached#i know for sure its unhealthy how much i love and miss him#he occupies most of my thoughts honestly#But how could i not cling to him so much when he was the only one who gave me hope in life#i try to keep going and even tho he is not here i keep telling myself whatever he taught me. i keep reminding myself he wants us to live an#bloom and be free#and that's what ill try to do#but you know somedays i wish i could just disappear and be wrapped in eternal happiness#its so fucking hard to pull yourself out of the slump man im so fucking tired im so so tired#somedays i wish id have the courage to off myself but i know that deep down i want to live and ive always wanted to live but i have no idea#how to live. i feel like i finally found a purpose and someone i love. but at the same time im always doubting myself and im scared of losi#g this little hope again and i know i should cherish and use it instead but each day i have this anxiety because rn i have nothing else if#lose this i seriously will lose everything atp. but ill still try bc rn its this or death so i should try im just damn tired yes anyways#sorry for being depressing some days just dont work out but thats okay#yes at the same time i want to get out of my head and try to find some friends but i cant deny that im highkey fucked up and i just cant le#go of my past and i still feel like that helpless unloved kid and idk how to form relationships this way. i dont trust myself at all so idk#how to trust others. and i feel like in order to find ppl that would love me i have to overshare abt my whole lifestory bc it still dictate#my life heavily. and since i met this band its better cuz im learning to deal w it and i want to heal from everything but yes at the same t#me who would wqnt to be friends w. someone that has like a year of life experience and 18 years of depression lol#so yes its complicated. bc i have friends but im like the funny friend. the one that is as shallow as puddle and has no problems but honest#y im genuinely sufferint qnd have been sufferinz all my life so i want to come out of my funny friend role. but that wojld mean i have to t#ll the shit i went through to all my friends but tbh it would be so random so ye. i do have a plan though. how it could work. But yes im ti#ed have been tired for 7 years now. But this time around i hope i can successfully get out of this torture cycle lol.#ok sorry this is what happens after puberty guys i could beva research case for a damn mental institute atp xdd
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