#lava cash

[utdr-stimming]

If this hasn't been done yet, maybe a b.shot era/1997 era Spamton stimboard? (he's my fave little guy)

Big Shot Spamton stim board!!!

That was the only canon photo I could find of him oops

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[jouska-the-deer]

Looking at how Sonic Prime has everyone (except Sonic and main Knuckles with Devon Mack and Adam Nurada) voiced by MLP Friendship is Magic veterans so far, ever get the feeling that if Cream the Rabbit ever shows up in the show or at least a show by the same team as Prime, she'd likely be voiced by Andrea Libman (Fluttershy/Pinkie Pie). Andrea sure would fit her like a glove.

I would honestly love for that to happen. Fluttershy was my favorite of the G4 ponies and Andrea Libman would really be able to do Cream justice.

Though, I have to admit, I don't have high hopes for Cream appearing in anything these days. What was even the last game she was in? Generations? She wasn't even in Team Sonic Racing, a cart racer. Yeah the characters/cars were grouped into Speed, Technique, and Power instead of Speed, Flight, and Power like in Heroes, but honestly, whatever. I'd've had an easier time accepting Cream as a technique racer than I had accepting Zavok... being in the game at all. But no, instead Cream's spot on Team Rose was taken by 4 random chao, one of whom being a robot who's currently a wanted criminal.

I guess to be fair to Sonic Team, TSR already had a billion characters to juggle and it looked hard enough to justify the appearance of a large chunk of them, so even if Cream was there, her role wouldn't have been any greater than the 4 chao in a trench coat anyway. And to be fair to Omochao, they served as a hint guide for plenty of games and also managed to become a medical professional before eventually going on the run for committing medical malpractice.

[mcyt-builds-contest]

Pandora"s Vault:

Contained : Dream, Tommyinnit, Ranboo, Technoblade, Connoreatpants

Series : DSMP

Propaganda : its so big. Its so so big. Look at a map of the dsmp. Its just a black void bigger than l'manburg was. You look at it and you just know it's something terrible. the obsidian walls, lava, the iron. It's just there. In the middle of the ocean. It does not fit in and its scary. the AMOUNT of redstone and functions it go is AMAZING. the only way to enter is through a portal that then leads u to the nether and has to be manually activated again by the warden. So to enter you literally NEED the wardens permission. All the bridges and all the door. It's so fucking cool man what can I say. The amount of security. the lore that happened inside pandora as well. Pandoras arc was the best arc of the whole of dream smp and I stand by that. There is so so much to unpack. Sam and Dream could have just built some shitty obsidian box and called it a prison, but no they made PANDORAS VAULT

The Ghost's Vault:

Contained : VikingPilot's Prized possesions

Series : Dominion SMP

Propaganda : Perhaps the only self-titled Vault to actually be one, the Ghost's Vault, built by VikingPilot, is two things -- a consolidation of wealth, and a display of power. Built at a time on Dominion where every single diamond had to be handed over to the Queen every two weeks, the Vault is made in total opposition to that policy as an extremely intimidating secret stash. All 10 sets of Netherite armor are enchanted and labeled. It's built with soulfire lanterns under the center carpet runner for the sole purpose of unnerving the local piglin. He's taken people here twice onscreen, and both times it was to cash in a no-conditions-set IOU with that other person in order to make sure things work out exactly the way they need to. It also contains two very important books! Viking's "To Do" list is very simple -- Run Dominion. However, the other one -- the Book -- is quite possibly the single most dangerous thing in Viking's possession. He's not sure what's in it, other than that it contains rituals of unimaginable power and that if he opens it again, he will crack in half. Oh, and the Ghost's Vault is also the location for the world's most unhinged 12-minute 100% improv monologue to ever exist.

[rafey-baby]

hidden 2

cw: hostage/stockholm syndrome situation, outlaw!rafe getting injured and reluctantly letting pogue!reader clean him up, suggestive & him being sleazy

wc: 2k

hope u enjoy xx

part 1 & part 3 part 4 part 5

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

It’s past midnight and Rafe is driving over the speed-limit. He had said something about handling business and then more or less shoving her into the passenger seat of his truck before she even had the chance to open her mouth in objection.  

The island sky is as dusky as the bottom of the ocean as he races through the soundless highway that reminds her of the yellow brick road; never-ending and with no certainty of what’s looming at the finish line. 

She sits silently on the passenger seat because even if she was curious as to where exactly they were headed to, she’s well aware that he wouldn’t tell her if she asked.    

Her heavy lids fall closed to the calming noise of the wind picking up outside the vehicle and she’s so exhausted she falls asleep within minutes. Therefore, she’s not sure how much time has passed before she’s jostled awake to him turning off the engine in an empty parking lot. 

“Don’t even think about opening the door, alright?” A heavy warning lingers in his tone as he’s tucking his gun in the waistband of his pants and grabbing a thick wad of cash from the glove compartment.  

She hums her acknowledgment and watches his actions; wandering eyes filled with questions. However, he merely offers her a brief glance and then he’s throwing open the door and disappearing into the eerily serene night; leaving her alone in the dimly lit space with her nervous inhales and exhales the only thing keeping her company.  

She tries to peer through the window, squinting in order to see where he’s run off to but the faint glow of the street lamps provides little to no help, making her impatiently tap her nails against the center console as she waits for him to return. She presses her ear to the window but unfortunately no sounds other than the rustling of the leaves in the trees surrounding the area reach her eardrums.  

She sighs.  

What if something happens? 

She knows that he doesn’t need for her to worry over him but she can’t help it. No matter how terrible of a person he is, she doesn’t wish for anything bad to happen to him. After all, she’s not a carefully programmed robot entirely void of human emotions, is she?

The mellow memory of him reluctantly trying to soothe her after her outburst the other day still lingers at the forefront of her mind and turns her initial thoughts regarding him into something softer. After all, she was certain he was going to kill her because she had threatened him with his gun. However, he merely seemed entertained by her stupid bravery, opting to mock her instead of showing a single ounce of actual fear.

And she doesn’t know why, but there’s this peculiar flutter in her tummy whenever her brain decides to mull over the moment of him wrapping his big arms around her shaky body in an almost gentle manner.  

She wants to forget about it, ignore it and simply despise him for forcing her to help him, but she can’t. Can’t help the fact that even if she’s utterly terrified of him, there’s also something about him that almost fascinates her; lures her in and makes her want to figure him out and she’s not entirely sure what she’s supposed to think of that.  

There’s something enticing about the way he’s such a polar opposite to her; not only is he a Kook but he’s also violent and hostile whereas she doesn’t even have the heart to kill a bug. His demeanor is aggressive and she thought that was all there was but then he goes on and practically hugs her when she’s a trembling mess with salty tears streaking her cheeks. 

All of it confuses her to no end; disarranging her cerebrum and making foreign emotions bubble in her chest like molten lava. Or maybe she’s just touch-deprived; starving for whatever attention Rafe is suddenly offering her so generously.  

She doesn’t necessarily want to think about any of it right now though; opting to stare out into the gloom of the night and forcing her mind somewhere else entirely when all at once, the driver’s side door slams open and her head snaps towards it; eyes startled and heart jumping in her chest at the instantaneous intrusion.  

“Calm down, ‘s just me,” Rafe mutters, sounding out of breath; exhales harsh and chest rising and falling like a madman as he slumps down on the leather seat, eyes flitting over her tense form.

“You seriously didn’t move?” He huffs out. “Such a good little puppy, huh?”   

At that, she comes to the conclusion that she’s definitely craving a very specific type of attention when her thighs involuntarily press together at his twisted notion of praise.   

“You— uh…you okay?” She cautiously asks, ignoring the warmth scattering along the apples of her cheeks.   

“I’m fine,” he mumbles before starting the engine and speeding back out onto the road that’s still sound asleep; the pitch-black sky beginning to fade into a darkened navy blue with the dim glimmer of the street lamps illuminating their journey.   

She then gets a better look at him and notices a few cuts and bruises adorning his tired face. There’s a particularly deep scrape on his cheekbone; crimson transferring to the back of his hand when he mindlessly swipes over it.   

“Rafe…you’re bleeding. What happened?” She exclaims, uneasiness coating her tone.

“Don’t worry, okay? Just had some, uh…disagreements. Should honestly see the other guy,” a lazy smirk paints over his face as he lets out a dry chuckle.  

“Rafe, those could get infected or something. Do you want me to clean them up for you?”  

“It’s just a few scratches, you’re acting as if I’m bleeding out,” he rolls his eyes, turning exasperated.  

“I’m being serious, you can’t exactly go to the doctor if those actually end up getting infected, can you?” She argues with a pout.    

”Shit, are all Pogues this fucking stubborn or just you? Told you, it’s fine,” he snaps in disdain, knuckles turning white from their grip on the steering wheel.  

“It’s not fine, though. Can you just…can you just let me help you? It’ll take like ten minutes and then you don’t have to worry about it anymore,” she rakes a hand through her hair in frustration because in her opinion Rafe is the one being stubborn right now.   

“I’m not worrying about it!” His gravelly voice thunders from his chest, making her flinch.  

“Well, I am,” her tone is quiet now; slightly regretting bringing the topic up in the first place.    

At that, he lets out an irritated sigh and then he’s abruptly pulling over to a parking lot next to some gas station.  

She turns to look at him with a surprised expression.   

“Don’t have all day. Get the fucking first aid kit from the glove box,” he grumbles out a harsh demand.   

“O— okay,” her face begins to light up in victory as she scurries to open the compartment in front of her, rummaging through it and trying to not pay attention to the plastic baggies filled with white powder or the wads of cash her hand comes in contact with.   

At last, her tentative fingertips find the small red bag she was looking for. However, when she turns to face him again, he’s not initiating any sort of movement, simply spreading his legs out in front of him in his slouched position and peering down at her expectantly.  

She hesitates.   

“You’re not gonna…move?”  

“If you wanna play nurse so fucking bad then you have no problem sitting on my lap, right? Not gonna reach all the way from there, are ya?” His tone is mocking and she can practically feel the cherry blush crawling up her face.  

“Oh, right. Um— yeah. I’ll just…” She blinks and then she’s clumsily climbing over the console and awkwardly lowering down to stumble into his lap. He merely looks at her with a bored expression; annoyance swimming in the lagoons of his eyes as he glares at her, clearly bothered by the fact that he has to waste his precious time on something as trivial as this.   

She huffs before timidly opening the first aid kit and trying to settle down on his lap. However, with his long legs sprawled out in the legroom he’s not exactly making it easy for her; being petty and difficult on purpose as she takes out a clean cotton pad and dampens it with some antiseptic spray.   

“Can you just…” she trails off before gingerly taking ahold of his jaw and lifting his face in order to examine the injuries better.  

He lets her freely maneuver his head as she pleases and despite the sting, not even flinching when she gently dabs over a smaller cut on his jaw. Merely letting his gaze flicker over her features; making her grow nervous under his curious eyes as she tries to concentrate on the vermilion spots on his face and not the way he’s soundlessly observing her.  

Or the fact that she’s currently closer to him than she’s ever been before. Can feel the even breaths from his nose tickling the skin of her lower face when she leans down to get a better angle.  

“So…you’re a drug dealer or?” She decides to try her luck, not being able to sweep the cocaine in the glove compartment under the rug so carelessly.   

“What did I say about questions, Puppy?” He scolds her instead of answering.   

“Right, sorry,” her eyes drop down. At least she tried.  

She doesn’t say anything more, instead focuses all her attention on cleansing the scrapes and tries not to pay any mind to the fact that as an afterthought, this position is incredibly improper and she’s not entirely sure why she agreed to it so easily.  

Upon careful consideration, she thinks she’s entirely too aware of his sturdy muscles underneath her and it’s turning her respiration more labored by each wipe over his face.  

“Thinkin’ about going to Guadeloupe next week,” he utters out after several minutes of silence.  

“You are?”   

“Mhm. My family owns a house there,” his low-pitched tone is calm; almost relaxed.  

“But, how are you—” her brows crease in a question.   

“I have a private jet,” he states as if it should be obvious; he is a proud Kook, after all.   

“Right. Of course you do,” she shakes her head when the corners of his mouth tug up.   

“How long are you gonna stay there?” She asks as she lifts her hand to swipe the saturated cotton over the deeper wound on his cheekbone.   

“Don’t know, ’til I figure something else out,” he shrugs.   

She hums and then shuffles around in his lap some more, trying to wriggle upwards in order to not fall off. However, as she’s shifting into a more comfortable position, he suddenly lets out a low grunt from the back of his throat.  

“Shit, Puppy. You really gotta move around so much?” He murmurs, promptly resting warm palms on her hips, halting her movements altogether.   

“S— sorry,” her eyes round out when she can suddenly feel a slight bulge in his pants. 

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re tryna get me hard on purpose, hm?” A breathy chuckle escapes his lips along with amusement glittering in blue gemstones as he inspects her flushed face with intrigue.   

“Oh, no— I’m not…was just— trying not to fall,” her words are rushed; thoroughly embarrassed as she blinks repeatedly.  

“Just, uh…stay still, yeah? Need me to steady you?” He rasps before strong arms are holding her upright by a firm grip on her waist.   

“Thanks,” her voice is a muted whisper and she tries not to seem so affected as she gets a new cotton pad and begins to scrub off some of the dried scarlet from under his bottom lip; not daring to shift an inch after that.  

[mysteryshoptls]

SSR Ruggie Bucchi - Platinum Jacket Vignette

"Happy 100th Anniversary"

[Land of Dawning – National Museum of Art]

Ruggie: Can't believe I'm here bein' a supporter for some museum like this. Guess ya never know what life's got in store for ya.

Ruggie: I mean, I totally wouldn't've ever paid to see paintings that I can't even fill my belly with…

Ruggie: But I guess it's okay if I don't gotta pay. I wonder if they got paintings I've seen in my textbooks.

???: This painting… These are the hyenas from the King of Beast's legends. When the three of them are lined up like this it's kind of intimidating…

Ruggie: Well, yeah, they were out there patrollin' lava quarries 'n goin' out on scoutin' missions, so.

Trey: You sure know your stuff, Ruggie. I guess that would make sense for a hyena beastman to know.

Trey: But still… Both patrolling and scouting seems like painstaking work.

Ruggie: Oh, yeah. From the stories I've heard, they had some pretty tight scrapes…

Ruggie: Like there's one where while they were out chasin' some stubborn foe, they ended up runnin' off a cliff tryin' to catch 'em…

Ruggie: Which had 'em endin' up flyin' into some real prickly thickets.

Trey: If it were me, I'd probably hesitate, worried about getting hurt. Guess the hyenas who worked under the King of Beasts were just that brave.

Ruggie: Brave? Then I guess I'll take that compliment, too. 'Cause I've jumped into thorny thickets like that a buncha times!

Trey: You've jumped into the thorny thickets…? A bunch of times!? Why would you do that…?

Ruggie: Actually, did you know? In the Sunset Savanna, there's this real steep cliff that's become a bit of a tourist attraction.

Ruggie: It's the perfect place to catch the settin' sun, so a ton of tourists go up there to snap a pic, leanin' over the fences 'n everything.

Ruggie: And like, sometimes there's folk that'll get so focused on settin' up the shot, or that'll bump into others that they'll drop and lose stuff.

Trey: I'd expect they'd have to let their stuff go if they dropped it off the cliff… But how does this all tie into you talking about the thorny thickets??

Ruggie: Sheeheehee. So actually, at the bottom of that cliff, there's a huge bramble of thorny thickets.

Ruggie: It's off-limits, and it's pretty dangerous, so no one really heads down there.

Ruggie: So, that's why I'd sneak down in the dead of night, and pick up all the lost items!

Ruggie: Sometimes I'd find little wrapped pieces of candy, watches 'n accessories, and even wallets!

Ruggie: Well, it kinda depended week to week what dropped, but… That was a great way to make some quick cash.

Trey: B-But if you had gotten injured, would all that have been worth it?

Ruggie: Yeah, true. Back when I was just a kid, I could slip in 'n out pretty easily, but I had to stop when I started getting' bigger.

Ruggie: Not only was I makin' big bucks, but the cliff's environment was getting' kept clean. Felt like a win-win deal to me.

[Land of Dawning – National Museum of Art]

Ruggie: Oh, this one… It's a painting of the thunder god and his son.

Trey: Yeah, according to the legends, he came to the human world just after being born, and was raised by adoptive parents.

Ruggie: Basically, that means he was raised apart from his actual dad, right? Amazin' they actually look like they get along good.

Trey: Haha… I wonder. Do you get along with your dad, Ruggie?

Ruggie: Nah, I don't got one.

Ruggie: He left back when I was a kid, so I don't remember anythin' about him, 'n I don't know what he's up to now.

Trey: Oh… Is that so? Sorry, I didn't mean to overstep my bounds.

Ruggie: Huh, that reaction's pretty different than what I'm used to.

Ruggie: Back home, there's a ton of kids just like me, so usually they'd just shrug and go, "Oh, okay" and move on.

Trey: And I guess it doesn't sound like they're saying that just to be considerate.

Ruggie: Obviously. Because the bigger problem is not havin' the money to buy food!

Ruggie: Granny'd take care of me, but there wasn't much we could do 'bout our empty bellies…

Ruggie: When I was big enough, I'd start working together with all the kids in my little neighborhood to scrounge up some food.

Trey: Kids running around trying to gather food on their own… That's hard for me to imagine.

Ruggie: There's a buncha ways to gather up food. We'd go into town and ask for alms, or drop a line in the river.

Ruggie: We were always pretty hungry, so we'd pretty much do anything… Oh, like we had a great time once digging for potatoes.

Trey: Is digging up potatoes that exciting?

Ruggie: WELL, YEAH!

Ruggie: There's actually a type of potato that grows in my country that can get as large as 20 kilos…

Ruggie: Around the time the potato harvestin' was finishin' up, we all snuck into the fields at night…

Ruggie: And we'd pick up some stunted potatoes that were left behind, as well as dug up some other forgotten potatoes.

Ruggie: We were all up in arms to pick every single one before the sun rose!

Trey: Why'd you go at mid… Never mind, I'm not going to ask.

Ruggie: And then, this one year when I was diggin', I hit the jackpot!

Ruggie: It was a potato so huge I wouldn't've even been able to carry it with both arms! It had't've been heavier than 20 kilos～

Ruggie: Didn't think there'd be any potatoes left that huge… Maan, I really lucked out then.

Trey: 20 kilograms, huh… With something that big, I don't think there'd be much to worry about eating for a while.

Ruggie: Don'tcha think?

Ruggie: I was thinkin', like, we could dry whatever was leftover and turn it to powder to make it last a bit longer…

Ruggie: But then Granny ended up boilin' 'em, fryin' 'em, and basically makin' a ton of dishes. It was a potato party extravaganza!

Ruggie: Me and the other street kiddos were just packin' 'em away, and little by little it started to disappear…

Ruggie: In the end, I couldn't make anything to save it for later.

Trey: Ah… That's rough.

Ruggie: And I never saw a potato that huge ever again. Guess good luck like that only ever hits once in a while.

[Land of Dawning – National Museum of Art]

Trey: Woah… This painting has a real powerful presence.

Ruggie: So, this is a painting of when the Thorn Fairy transformed into a dragon to fight, huh.

Trey: She looks way stronger than what her stories say. I bet I would be no match for her.

Ruggie: Eh!? Trey-san, you lookin' to pick a fight with the Thorn Fairy? It'd be waaay better to try 'n flatter her instead

Trey: Oho, but that might be the scarier route, don't you think? You might end up in deep trouble if you were to offend the Thorn Fairy instead.

Ruggie: Sheeheehee. Oh, but I'm pretty good with that kinda stuff.

Trey: Haha, well, I guess I have to admire that pluck.

Ruggie: But man, she's really something. She's the one that caused all that lightning too, right?

Ruggie: They say it was always thunderin' and lightnin' outside her castle as a way to keep intruders out… That's a huge undertakin', huh.

Ruggie: But with all those lightning strikes, I bet the bread prices were super cheap near the Thorn Fairy's castle.

Trey: Bread? …Ohh, right! Because when lightning strikes, certain particles are released in the air that helps plants grow.

Ruggie: Huh? Wait, are ya sayin' there's actually a whole science behind the whole "bread gets cheaper whenever it thunders"!?

Trey: Oh, isn't that what you meant?

Ruggie: I was just sayin' what Granny would always say…

Ruggie: Wait, so does that sayin' mean that 'cause more wheat gets harvested, more bread can get made, and that's why it's cheaper?

Trey: Yeah. Although, with how much we've developed our fertilizers nowadays, I don't know how much lightning strikes actually play a part anymore.

Ruggie: Cooool, I had no idea. Guess you Science Club folk know your stuff.

Ruggie: I bet Granny didn't really know the meanin' behind it like you did…

Ruggie: But I bet she saw with her own eyes the change in bread prices whenever there were tons of thunder and lightning.

Ruggie: But still… Kinda weird, huh. Sheeheehee.

Trey: Weird? What is?

Ruggie: Back when I was a kid, I only ever cared 'bout food, so there's no way I woulda been interested in learnin' why the bread was cheaper.

Ruggie: But now, I heard your whole spiel, and my reaction was to think it was pretty cool. Guess I'm maturin'.

Trey: Well… Maybe it's just that you can actually afford to take the time to listen now?

Ruggie: Maybe, maybe not. 'Cause my wallet's still pretty empty…

Ruggie: Oh hey, maybe this is just me bein' able to relax my stresses away, huh!? …Maybe not, heh.

Trey: Could be, if you're enjoying your time here, at least. Oops… Look at the time.

Trey: I think I'll head out to go check on how my dormmates are doing. See you, Ruggie.

Ruggie: 'Kaay, see ya. I'm gonna keep lookin' around this area a bit longer.

Ruggie: Hm? This painting… A lion cub's just lollygaggin' with a warthog 'n a meerkat.

Ruggie: I'm wonderin' if they even know all the scary things that can happen to animals that step outta their territory, hm?

Requested by Anonymous.

[fuck-customers]

How does one go about not being annoyed af by customers saying the same thing all day every day? The worst part is I GET IT. If I were a customer here I'd probably say the same thing. They aren't being rude, it's just that I hear the same thing over and over and over and over again.

This building wasn't made to have the cash registers where they are, so it's an inconvenient spot. There are two registers, and one (mine) is kinda around a corner. So when my coworker is out, like they've been for a week now, customers have to walk past the obvious but empty register and go round the corner to find me. And so twenty times a day, I hear them mumbling while they're looking for me.

They see the first register: "Oh, no one's there." They take a few steps, not realizing yet they need to go around the corner: "Oh gosh, maybe there's no one here to take my money* today." They finally make it around the corner: "Oh! There you are! I thought maybe no one was here! Hahahaha!"

SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP

There are SIGNS pointing to me. There's an extra sign on the empty register, pointing where to go. They can see the signs when they first walk up, but that's not good enough. They simply MUST wonder aloud about where the cashier is and then make a big deal about finding me.

And if you're thinking, "Just tell them where you are, after all if you can hear them, they should be able to hear you give them gentle instructions," I've done that and it doesn't help. One time I called helpfully, "I'm just over here," thinking they could follow my voice, and the customer gave a panicked, "WHERE?" and spun in circles until I specified around the corner. Other times when I've tried to help, it didn't actually get them to me any faster, it just meant that I was talking to them sooner- and they still do the whole "There you are!!" when they see me.

(Also I can't just move to the other register while my coworker is out. I know that sounds like the obvious solution, but it isn't actually an option.)

And I feel bad for being annoyed, because I know they're just confused and then trying to be friendly BUT I HATE IT OH MY GOD I HATE IT. It's a struggle not to roll my eyes every. single. time.

*I also deeply hate the phrase "take my money." "I need to pay for services today" < totally acceptable. "You need to take my money" < I NEED TO POUR LAVA ON YOU, ACTUALLY

the bane of my existence is "If it doesn't scan it must be free!" Ive just started keeping a box top and every time I hear it I add a tick.

-Rodney

[freddie-77-ao3]

garden games camp half blood has banned, a non extensive list:

tag. any version of tag. a lot of kids can teleport/shadow travel or have super speed, and the ones that don't DO NOT appreciate playing tag with them. It wasn't officially banned until cecil, connor, and chris teamed up in what became known as the "battle of the c's" and demolished everyone (all 263 kids playing) within three minutes and fifty-eight seconds. travis still has nightmares.

Freeze tag in particular was banned when someone with winter/ice powers misunderstood and actually ended up freezing a couple of demigods. Poor Chris never looked the same.

ring around the rosie. fun fact, this is how michael yew got claimed! yeah... not actually fun considering he started going on about how the song was about the bubonic plague and then GAVE clarisse the bubonic plague because... it sounded like a good idea at the time?

Red Light Green Light. Again, teleportation/superspeed. It had fallen out of favour, but was officially banned when five year olds Will and Connor both ended up in the infirmary because Connor kept cheating, Will got mad and started yelling, and a tree nymph got mad and tripped both of them.

Sharks and Minnows: surprisingly, not a superspeed/teleportation related ban. No, it got banned when nine year old Clarisse tripped Michael so she could make her way to freedom, but Michael fell into Annabeth and she fell too... Annabeth beat both of them up for causing her to lose. Miranda still talks about how she won. Annabeth still glares every time Miranda talks about it.

Simon Says. Sherman won all of Ares Cabin's cash by saying Simon Says give your money to Sherman, and Ares cabin refuses to back down from a challenge. This then turned into a riot when Sherman didn't give the money back.

duck duck goose. there's already an incorrect quote about "fuck, fuck, shit", need I say more? yes, actually, because that's not why it was banned. It was banned because travis gave beckendorf a concussion by hitting his head too hard.

musical chairs. they broke the chairs. the steel, extra reinforced chairs. because instead of playing, they were fighting over who's music to turn on.

dodgeball: certain someones (ellis and cecil) swapped out the dodgeballs for firework grenades. aka fireworks that are motion activated. that only activate when they hit their target. Auto banned... after it happened for the third time.

The floor is lava: michael climbed lee like a tree to win, and so did clarisse. Lee fell over. carrying several jars of nectar. yeah...

jump ropes with rhymes: apollo cabin is very creative when it comes to coming up with rhymes. a little too creative. banned.

hide and seek: so many incidents. so many. also malcolm kept winning and drew kept getting mad, and they started fighting, which meant they both lost...

[elkkiel]

Regarding ST's merch, I think it's really obvious quality wise what merch the boys had a direct hand in and what merch is just RCA slapping ST's name and logo on something because they know it'll sell. The figurine and the constant HT/Spencer's drops scream RCA just trying to make a buck.

I think the big thing we can do as fans, or in this case consumers, is just be really picky about what merch we actually buy. Let sales numbers and the market talk for us ig (ew capitalism, but unfortunately that's how this works)

Things like the graphic novel? Hell yeah, support the shit out of that! We're out here Obtaining new, original stories made in collaboration with the band themselves, AND supporting art that aligns with the band's previously-curated brand image. Throw your money at that or hype it up online, since that's what we REALLY want to see from them. (even if it's too $$$ for many people. But, I get the sense that they wouldn't mind the pdf being shared with other fans lol. You can't tell me those nerds haven't read pirated manga/comics/books online before)

The low quality, soulless Licensed Products keep on coming because there's apparently a market for them. People will buy it just because it's ST, not because it's actually worth the money. As if it'll bring any value to their experience with the band. How many fans actually want a fuckin lava lamp, or any assortment of the hot topic merch that's just Vessel's face cheaply screenprinted on the front?

I think there's a lot of hype and market potential for their brand and likeness right now, and—for a corporate entity—it makes sense to flood the market like fucking Atlantic with whatever merch will sell. Voting with your wallet really does help. Not buying into the obvious cash-grab merch produces data that tells marketers that we're tired of it. It produces trend reports which indicate their current merch practices are becoming unprofitable to continue (oh, the horrors!)

Idk like I said last night, there seems to be a big disconnect between the band's history of being very selective with aesthetics/design, and whatever is going on right now. Personally, I'd much rather wallow in despair over sleeping through a relatively rare merch drop during European daylight hours. Because then at least the drop feels worth it, and fans who were able to buy merch will have a better, higher quality experience that actually aligns with their brand. Literally anything other than what we're seeing from them right now.

Sorry I just woke up not too long ago, so this might not read very clearly. I want to see my boys succeed and make a living off their art as much as anyone else, but surely there's a better way to support them.

[themadauthorshatter]

Lucky through out Finding Frankie:

"Yeah, I'll play this game, I earned it."

"HOLY SHIT! ... Okay, BYE, BITCHES, I'M OUT!"

"The other contestants mysteriously died! Not sure how that happened! Oh well, at least you're still here!"

"Yaaaay, I love being surrounded by CORPSES."

"How many circuit breakers does one trampoline and water park NEED? If it's this many, can't I just WORK HERE? You guys get any new employees or are they also rabbit food?"

"(Hiding) please don't see through mesh. Please don't see through mesh. (Frankie leaves) Okay, so the floor is lava. Or just a no-go unless I want to die slowly and painfully."

"Made it! And no- WHAT THE SHIT!?(As Frankie crawls by) ... I'm getting that 5 mil. I'm buying this place, and setting it on fire with that abracadabra looking asshole inside."

"GET AWAY FROM ME! GET AWAY FROM ME! GET AWAY FROM ME! GET AWAY FROM ME! WHO PUTS LOGS ON THIS STEEP OF A SLOPE AND HAS A MAN EATING RABBIT CHASE YOU!? I THOUGHT THIS PLACE WAS ALSO DESIGNED FOR KIDS!?"

"Aw, ducky. (Gets pecked) FUCK YOU TOO. Gonna play nice or do I need to throw you again?"

(Encounters Henry)

"... Do I still want that 5 million? We'll, I can't have if I'm dead. ... Alright, away we go."

"WHY IS THERE NO LIGHT IN YOUR AREA!? WHY ARE YOU FRIENDS WITH A CARNIVOROUS RABBIT!? ... (Inhale) Okay. I can handle the giant man eating rabbit. I can handle Talking Telephone man that keeps trying to strangle me. I can handle the fucking duck. I can handle this stupid costume and the fact that I'm surrounding by decaying bodies in this hellhole. But I DRAW THE LINE AT FUCKING BUZZSAWS! WHO'S IDEA WAS THIS!?"

"... Really? You guys have an incinerator? So what's paying this place? All the circuit breakers or this incinerator?"

(Encounters Real Frankie)

"... what... What the fuck?"

(Sees Henry die)

"WHAT THE FUCK!?"

(Gets help from Real Frankie)

"Thanks. Please don't tell me this will come back to bite me later."

"Again with the buzzsaws! In a WATER PARK! ... At least the circuit breaker won't get wet."

"Aw, noob noobs. (Explosions) Sorry, got a game to win and money to collect."

"Oh, hey, a chat board. ...'Boring?' I resent that. Raise the 10k to 30. I'm living and I'm going to buy this place and turn it into a hotel. Frankie's broke ass won't be able to stop me. ... Wait, did someone bring up lava?"

"Frankie's Frosted peak. Just get to the top. Easy. (Slime gets released). SCRATCH THAT! CHANGED MY MIND! I'M BURNING THIS PLACE!"

"I'm never using a buzzsaw again in my life."

"Hey, uh, Frankie, can you help me out? I'm... I'm stuck. (Gets shut it) ... Thanks a lot. Dick."

"STOP MESSING UP MY F*CKING GAME SHOW!"

"SO TRYING TO KILL ME WHEN I'VE ALREADY WON, BITCH!"

"NOOB NOOBS! Wait. OH, SHIT! NO!"

"Surprise, mother fucker. Give me my five million in cash."

"... (Sigh) Fine. *One more season.* But no buzzsaws, no slime, and no fucking corpses scattered all over the place like the Black Plague hit this place. We have an incinerator to play with."

[coolguyincsworld]

Jeff winger is a very different man in season 6 than he was in season 1

And one of my fav comparisons is modern warfare and geothermal escapism

In modern warfare Jeff finds the whole idea of a paintball war idiotic. even though, compared to hot lava, it is a mature game. He only joins once he recruited by Troy and abed and told there is a cash prize.

And in geothermal escapism he’s excited for hot lava. He is one of the first people to hop up on this chair and he yells “hot lava”. And during the game he’s in character and going along with the made up names and gods.

I just love that this school and group of people have changed him so much that a game of paint ball is to idiotic but a game of hot lava is something to yell abt

[melusina]

while i'm on the subject of making bad takes about geology in pop culture, im. so tired of the first response everyone has when they hear i study geology being:

"haha so do you eat rocks? which rocks do geologists eat?"

... it's salt, man. you already know the answer to this. theres one answer and its salt. and you eat it every day and its normal.

its the most boring question to answer. geologists eat rocks because everyone eats rocks. because salt is a rock. it's the "so it's free, right?" when the barcode doesn't scan at the cash register of geology questions.

sure, if you want to get a little frisky with it, you can throw in how kaolin is used as a texture enhancer in ice cream and how the titanium dioxide that makes oreo cream so white derives from rutile, but the answer they're actually looking for is salt. and at that point whoever has asked you that has already stopped giving a shit, because the mental image they had of geologists shoving glittering green crystals into their mouths has already vaporized and they've realized just how boring the question they just asked really is.

you could have asked me about volcanoes or the bottom of the ocean and instead you asked me a question with the boringest answer imaginable. you learned one fact about me, which is that i study the processes that make lava explode and crystals grow, and you looked me, a human being, dead in the eyes, and asked me if i eat salt. and were disappointed when the answer was just yeah. you know what? how about next time, instead, lets both sit down in an empty room and stare at the wall together in silence until we wither away into skeletons. would that be more interesting to you?

[angeart]

it’s time for me to tell you about boatem circus mumbo. where does he come from? how did he get into the circus? what’s the trauma he carries? 

boatem circus mumbo is an enderman hybrid. they’re kind of rare, and some people are very interested in their teleporting ability. this leads to mumbo getting captured and taken to a specialised lab to be studied entirely against his will. 

this lab is a floating manmade island. entirely surrounded by water. 

water hurts endermen. which means mumbo can’t use his abilities to get away, because there’s nowhere safe for him to teleport to, outside of this island that’s now become his prison. he’s put in a small room, the walls of which are infused by running water, serving as a constant barrier. a perfect cell to contain an enderman hybrid.

but it’s more than a cell. it’s also the research lab. it’s not made with a sliver of comfort in mind; quite the opposite, it’s imbued with countless traps and mechanisms, from spikes and pits to fire and lava. it doesn’t contain a bed, even though it’s meant for long-term containment.

the research is set up to focus on studying the limits of teleporting. all the hows: how far, how often, how many times in a row, etc. the way they’re doing this is, essentially, by putting mumbo in harmful situations. hence the traps littering the room! lava from the ceiling? floor dropping from underneath him? water from somewhere? spikes? lots of ways to hurt him!

he doesn’t have a choice here. mere survival and fear of pain takes over. he’s forced to teleport to avoid harm.

he’s kept in almost constant motion. his mind is in overdrive. there’s a constant sense of danger and impending doom of not knowing where it’ll come from this time. all he knows is to jump away from pain. (personally, i like to think this is where mumbo’s antsy restlessness comes from.)

it goes on for days. weeks. with barely any breaks. 

it exhausts him. he can’t keep up. at some point it’s simply too much.

he’s so scared. everything hurts. he can’t.

he can’t do it anymore. even if he’d want to, he can’t.

they wear him down to nothing, so much so that his teleportation abilities fail and he can no longer get out of the way of danger at all besides belated stumbles which do very little, and aren’t what the researchers are after. they grant him longer rest, but it barely seems to fix anything. he’s burned out, overworked, done. stripped of everything that used to make him seem special in their eyes.

it reaches a point when they consider him useless. that’s how exhausted he is.

and this is when he overhears them talking about dropping him overboard. just dumping him in the water. into the ocean. (that’d surely kill him.) getting rid of him as if he was nothing.

he can’t do anything about it.

but someone proposes to sell him instead! that way they can at least get some cash for him.

so they take him to a black market. put water-magic imbued shackles around his wrists (they hurt, they burn), shove him in a cage, and start figuring out how this whole selling hybrids works.

scar, coincidentally, crosses their path.

he sees this hybrid, worn down and caged and terrified, and… he has to act, right? he has to.

what happens is that he cons them. (<3) he uses his wonderful silver tongue, gives them some money, and says he’ll sell mumbo for them, he has contacts, etcetc. and then he’ll give them the rest of the money once the deed is done, based on how much mumbo sells for! a great deal! don’t worry about a thing!

he smooth talks his way until he has mumbo in his possession.

they’re still in the black market. mumbo’s still shackled and caged. he’s terrified. he doesn’t know scar, or his intentions. he fully expects to be sold to someone horrible, or to another hell of a lab.

scar takes him somewhere private, and instead of anything mumbo expects, he… opens the cage.

mumbo presses into the far corner, so so so scared, and he flinches at scar’s approach, and—

scar apologises?

so softly.

and he undoes mumbo’s shakles.

the very moment they’re off and the water magic relents, running on pure instinct and fear, mumbo teleports. 

just once. not even very far. just outside of the cage.

it’s as much as he can manage, honestly. teleporting carries so much for him now. memories of danger and pain and fear tangled with the ever-present fatigue that pins him in place.

he didn’t even really mean to do it; it’s just become instinctual when he feels a smidge of a possible threat. he did it without thinking, and… he can’t do it again. he feels weak and dizzy and nauseous, half-ready to collapse just from that. even though his freedom is at stake, he simply can't do it.

(but he doesn’t have to. he doesn’t. scar’s there. mumbo’s going to be okay.)

gently, quietly, scar tells him it’s okay. he won’t hurt him. he tells him that he’s free to go, but if he has nowhere to go, he can come with scar. 

it sounds like a trap. like just another scam.

but mumbo has nowhere to go. and scar is so gentle with him?

he ends up giving in and going with scar. and scar never gave him a reason to regret it.

he becomes part of the boatem circus. and even then, he doesn’t teleport for months afterwards. and he doesn’t participate in the circus shows for the longest time. (not until grian comes along.) 

[mcyt-builds-contest]

The Ghost's Vault:

Contained : VikingPilot's Prized possesions

Series : Dominion SMP

Propaganda : Perhaps the only self-titled Vault to actually be one, the Ghost's Vault, built by VikingPilot, is two things -- a consolidation of wealth, and a display of power. Built at a time on Dominion where every single diamond had to be handed over to the Queen every two weeks, the Vault is made in total opposition to that policy as an extremely intimidating secret stash. All 10 sets of Netherite armor are enchanted and labeled. It's built with soulfire lanterns under the center carpet runner for the sole purpose of unnerving the local piglin. He's taken people here twice onscreen, and both times it was to cash in a no-conditions-set IOU with that other person in order to make sure things work out exactly the way they need to. It also contains two very important books! Viking's "To Do" list is very simple -- Run Dominion. However, the other one -- the Book -- is quite possibly the single most dangerous thing in Viking's possession. He's not sure what's in it, other than that it contains rituals of unimaginable power and that if he opens it again, he will crack in half. Oh, and the Ghost's Vault is also the location for the world's most unhinged 12-minute 100% improv monologue to ever exist.

Mumbo's Decoy Vault:

Contained : Nothing at all

Series : Hermitcraft 9

Propaganda : Was built to bait Grian into giving up, but was boobie-trapped in case the G man somehow managed to get in. And get in he did, twice actualy, losing is stuff to lava and dynamite

[rat-rosemary]

A guide to beating Dream in poker and getting some info while doing so, by the biggest man ever Tommy Innit

(Co-written by Tubbo)

Take in the vibe of the place Dream build for the week. If it has a little too much lava and/or obsidian then maybe this is not the best week for this

Bring food. This green freak will not drink and it's against the rules to smoke in the poker table, so food is the only way to make him relax

(Note to self: try to blackmail some recipes out of Badboyhalo, I need my diamonds back)

He likes taunting and banter and if you're too weird and polite he'll think you're up to something

DO NOT POKE FUN AN THE PRISON

Try to convince Techno to bring his pets, you can get the most out of Dream when he has a lap full of fluffy critter

The moment Dream cashes out he'll dissappear. Like he steps away from the table and walks into the environment and vanishes into air. If you wanna get any info you need to keep him on the table

Dream is fully aware that you're trying to keep him in and will use that to gamble. Be ready to lose some diamonds.

Wip (green bitch is a mystery but we have the best detectives on the case)

[hideawayfairy]

Okay S2.5 Speculation, let's go! (In no particular order)

Possible flashback on how Millie and Blitzo met considering one of the scenes has them fighting and Millie is shown with long hair.

Ghosteffers will focus heavily on Millie and Blitzo's relationship and dynamic.

I've heard some people speculate that innkeeper as being Leviathan. I personally think it's too early to say, but I do believe this could be a demon from the Envy Ring based on the aquatic design. (Maybe a possessor?)

We may or may not now have confirmation that Cash Buckzo was responsible for keeping Blitzo and Fizz apart for years considering we see him in front of Fizz's hospital room.

Verosika and Blitzo will have a chance to talk their relationship out.

Verosika seems to help Stolas out for some reason (perhaps after Full Moon it'll be a turning point for Stolas and Blitzo's relationship?) (possible new friendship forming between Verosika and Stolas?).

I've seen people speculate that one of the demons we see could be Satan (the one with the bulky lava arm) and I think that speculation is a lot stronger. Since we see Mammon in the trailer as well, we may end up getting an episode where the Sins convene (hopefully this means Ozzie will show up as well).

Fizz seems to be helping Blitzo out now that they're friends again. It's possible that Blitzo might be going to Fizz for either advice or because he might actually want to get Stolas some type of gift.

Octavia may end up playing a big role since we hear her calling Stolas out on his behavior. Might be related to the Goetia get together we see sprinkled throughout.

DHORKS and CHERUB working together might spell bad news for IMP. The two working together could be what causes IMP to be on the run in the first place (and could also lead to that fight going on in the Lust Ring).

All in all, I'm extremely excited for what the rest of the season has to offer and I'm very happy we have general release dates this time around.

[existslikepristin]

Little later than expected because I feel like shiiit. And, I know. "What's new?" But at the moment I mean physically. Regardless, here's ya dang story:

Tags: NSFW, S.M.U.T., genie, poor game design

(Story Index)

Figure the app out

“Well,” you say with a sigh, “I can’t read any ancient languages, so can you just help me out here?”

“Oh duh. Sorry about that, master. Old habits die hard, even if said habits are a few millennia old. We’re currently speaking… ah, yes! English! Easy peezy squeezy my buttcheeks. There you go.”

You look at your phone again. The mass of text bubbles all over the screen are now written in English. It’s still… a lot of nonsense.

“Just point me to the important parts?”

“Of course! Let’s just make you a little more comfortable.”

By the time she finishes the sentence, you’re in your room, sitting on the edge of your bed with Joy pressing her chest into your back. She reaches over your shoulders and speaks softly into your ear as she taps your phone.

“So here we have your Harem Hub, which is where you’ll be spending a decent amount of time swapping back and forth between screens. Where you’ll be spending most of your time…”

Joy touches an image of a tower with gold coins spilling out of it.

“… is here, in your Inventory—it’s called that because you own the people in your harem like they’re inanimate possessions—, where you can organize, sort, search, and summon the members of your harem as desired. As you can see, it’s currently empty, so let’s go back to the Harem Hub.”

While Joy pokes around with one hand, the other is softly rubbing your shoulder. It’s quite relaxing. Come to think of it, you are a little tired.

“Right in the center of the Harem Hub is the Summoning Portal, which summons anime girls to your Inventory, not into the real world, which is a different kind of summoning. Let’s give it a try now and see who you get!”

Before you can do anything yourself, Joy taps the portal and the app begins a series of over the top animations of overlapping summoning circles and colorful overlays. About fifteen seconds later, a naked anime girl with a pitch black hime haircut, nearly black eyes, and rather small breasts flashes on screen. She looks like pretty much every other anime character being drawn these days.

Joy gasps very dramatically, “Oh my gosh, master! You got Anecha on your first try! But she… she’s a Super Rare! You only had a zero point three percent chance of that happening! She’s from the mythical land of Sorgania, and she’s a hybrid of all three class archetypes, able to spec into any skill tree you want! She’s one of—if not the—most versatile girls you can get!”

“That’s cool,” you mutter, “Can we summon her and get fucking?”

“Oh master, you’re so funny. You can’t summon a character naked.”

“But, the whole point is to have sex with her…”

“Well yeah, but when you’re not having sex with her, she’s going to be questing! We’ll get to that in a minute. First, check it out. She was just the rarest of your summons for this pull,” Joy wraps her legs around you, fully bear hugging you from behind while she yammers on, “You also got Heyri, Emi, Bonnie, and Magz. That will make for a pretty balanced party, though you can expect Anecha to handle basically everything on her own until you get to World 4, at least. Obviously though, we need to go back to tow—I mean the Harem Hub to purchase some basic equipment. No, not that shop. That’s the cash shop where you can get more summoning shards. Right here, at the Blacksmith. You’ll want to equip Anecha first to make the first few quests as easy as possible, and you’ve got all these coins ready to go, so… Oh, fantastic! Tim has lava katanas in stock, so we absolutely have to take advantage of that in the next two minutes. We better make sure some of your other girls can benefit from those stats though, so if we check the party status screen you can see their preferred stats are highlighted in gold. It looks like Emi prefers Gumption, so a lava katana is—”

Joy’s words fade into the ether and your eyes drift shut. She’s so warm, holding you like this…

“… and that’s why you always save up your electrum ingots. You don’t want to be willy-nilly turning those into…”

“… obviously, but don’t forget that any skill cooldown can be refreshed by…”

“… back from the arena! We should go congratulate her for defeating the sand kraken, because that will bump up the congratulatory meter. Sometimes you want to hold back though, since doing it too often will give diminishing returns…”

You’re woken up by the sound of squawking birds outside and sunlight blasting your eyes through the window. You’re on your back, legs hanging off the bed. Looking to the side, you see Joy, still naked and hunched over, tapping your phone. “I know it’s labeled as a PVP mode, but since the magic is actually built into you and not the app, that’s not actually a thing. The other players’ names and teams are just randomly generated but slightly optimized versions of your own builds so that you get an idea for what’s actually possible when you spend your gems properly.”

With a yawn, you sit up, make note of your own nudity, and flinch back as you nearly headbutt a new stranger standing at the foot of your bed. “What the fu—who are you?!”

It’s a woman, wearing a skimpy purple bikini with silver trim and blue ribbons hanging off of it. Her hair and fairly large eyes are dark, midnight black. Despite the fact that she’s holding what definitely appears to be a katana made out of lava, she looks a little bit nervous. “S-sorry, master. She,” she points at Joy, who is paying you no mind, ”um, she told me to stand here and wait after summoning me…”

You look her up and down. She’s… taller than you thought she’d be, and her face is a little rounder than it had looked in the image. That picture didn’t do her pouty lower lip or her flared out hip any amount of justice. “Anecha?”

“Sorry, master. It’s pronounced ‘AH-neck-ah,’ but… No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t correct you. Sorry.”

Options:

Um, it’s the morning now. You need to go to work already. You’re probably late.

Responsibilities can wait because they’re for losers. Get a blowjob from Anecha.

Take that sword from her and mess around (safely). It’s so awesome!

Joy called Anecha "the most versatile." Fuck her while you jerk off her futa cock all over Joy’s face.