#language is how i connect with others so it's a big deal to me that i want to connect with my past family in a... spiritual way almost

[shalom-iamcominghome]

It seems, sometimes, like people sometimes almost expect converts/converting people to hate where we come from, and if I'm honest... I think connecting with judaism has made me want to connect with my roots even more.

I'm thinking about starting to learn the languages (some of) my family would have spoken before emigrating to where I live now (german and italian), and, hell, I've learned a lot about xtianity since officially embracing judaism and diving head-long into it.

In my experience, judaism doesn't inherently demand that you forsake everything you were or are. What is asked of you is to embrace judaism. To recognize g-d, to worship g-d, to willingly join the jewish people. That is not the same as demanding you to spit on what led you where you are now. Nothing will change my past, my heritage, and judaism has actually helped me appreciate where I come from. I want to connect with myself, my family, because I embrace judaism.

I don't want to speak to other people's experiences, so just a reminder that this is only my story as a student, as someone who adores judaism and appreciates the experiences that were a one-way ticket right to where I am now.

[elllisaaa]

KINKTOBER 2024

welcome to eli's kinktober masterlist !

-> author's note : i'm so so happy to be able to present you this ! i originally wanted to participate last year, but i've got caught up with the no nut november serie and i didn't have the time to do both. it was hard to choose which members from which groups to write, and i tried to keep it even in terms of how many times i write each group. i'm very proud of myself for getting through this and i hope you'll like it as much as i enjoyed writting this <3 take care !

-> reblogs and feebacks are appreciated !

-> english is not my first language, sorry for any mistake

-> 18+ content below, minors DNI

______________________________________________________________

_ DAY 01 | BIG DICK + SMOKING W. ROCKSTAR!GUNIL

you were a groupie, and you weren't afraid of admitting it. and you didn't mind that you probably were just one of the girls, that gunil had surely fucked hundreds of fans at this same exact spot. because it felt good, and you didn't want him to stop.

-> ONE OF THE GIRLS

______________________________________________________________

_ DAY 02 | VOICE KINK W. IDOL!YEOSANG x MANAGER!READER

going through your ovulation week when you were a manager for ateez was hard enough to not have to deal with yeosang deep voice too. it did things to you, and you weren't sure if you were going to be able to keep all of this professional.

-> MAKE IT BOUNCY

_ DAY 03 | VOYEURISM W. BEST FRIEND'S BROTHER!HUENING KAI

yeonjun had always made it clear to you that his friends were off limits for you, it was his only rule. and it never bothered you until kai started to come over. he was exactaly your type, but you didn't want to break the promise you made to your brother. however, is it really your fault if your door is left ajar as you're touching yourself at night ? and is it really your fault if kai walks by your room at the same time ?

-> EYES ON ME

_ DAY 04 | PRAISE KINK + MARKING W. TEACHER!JAY

after you did a successful presentation for jay's class, he feels the need to reward his favourite student in a very inapropriate way.

-> EARNED IT

_ DAY 05 | BREEDING W. SUGAR DADDY!CHAN

you've been nothing but a good girl to him lately, even watching over his niece when his sister visited him by surprise. and it awakened an urge in him. maybe your relationship is more than what chan pretends it is.

-> CONNECTED

_ DAY 06 | BUKKAKE W. XDH x STYLIST!READER

the dirty secret you've been hiding for a few months now is suddenly harder to keep for yourself when the other members catch you sucking off seungmin backstage. and after having discussed it, they decide that they have to get back at you for fucking each one of them sneakily.

-> HER

_ DAY 07 | ORAL FIXATION W. FRIEND!JIHOON

one of the first thing jihoon noticed about you was that you always needed to have something in your mouth - be that candies, cigarettes or joints, lollipops... he just didn't think that your obsession extended to him and his fingers too.

-> SUGARCOAT

_ DAY 08 | EDGING + HANDCUFFS W. JEALOUS FUCK BUDDY!SEUNGMIN

when seungmin catches you flirting with another guy at a bar, he gets possessive even if he has no right to be. you deserve to be punished for making him feel like that.

-> OBSESSION

_ DAY 09 | PREMATURE EJACULATION + FEET W. ASSISTANT!JAKE x CEO!READER

jake is the best assistant you've ever had, and to top it all, he's really cute. you know he has a crush on you, everyone knows it, and that makes him even more adorable. so when you have to leave for an important conference with him and that the hotel room only has one bed, you take it upon yourself to give him what he wants.

-> DANGEROUS WOMAN

_ DAY 10 | LINGERIE + HAIR PULLING W. BARISTA!SAN

you kinda like the barista who's always serving you, but you wish he would notice that you're flirting with him sometimes. so maybe that flashing him your pretty lingerie would help ?

-> FREAK

_ DAY 11 | HATE SEX W. ACADEMIC RIVAL!BEOMGYU

surely, everyone on campus knows how much you and beomgyu hate each other. but being locked in the library one evening because you both stayed too late studying forces you to communicate, for the better or for the worse.

-> ARE YOU DUMB, DUMB, DUMB ?

_ DAY 12 | BONDAGE + MIRRORS W. PHOTOGRAPHER!WONWOO

you wanted to be more confident about your body and having a boudoir photoshoot seemed to be a good option. you just didn't plan that having the photographer tying you up would excite you that much.

-> FOCUS ON ME

_ DAY 13 | CREAMPIE W. BF!JISEOK

jiseok thinks you're really cute when you're desperate for his attention, so he lets you sit on his cock even if all his friends are right there. he simply forgot that you were never the first one to back down.

-> IN FOR A RIDE

_ DAY 14 | AGE DIFFERENCE W. POLICE OFFICER!SEUNGCHEOL

"everybody knows that i'm a good girl, officer" is what you said to him when you got arrested for selling drugs. and despite seungcheol having a wife and kids, he can't help stumbling over his words when you ask to suck his cock in exchange for letting you go.

-> MR. POLICEMAN

_ DAY 15 | MULTIPLE ORGASMS + FEMDOM W. LOSER!HAN JISUNG

you always liked your men weak and pathetic, so no one was shocked to hear that you had a crush on han jisung - the nerdy boy of your physics class. being paired up with him for a project was the perfect opportunity to have him all for you. except that finding a collection of dairies filled with all the fantasises he has about you wasn't part of your plan.

-> SECRET SECRET

_ DAY 16 | PAIN PLAY W. BRATTY!WOOYOUNG x PRODUCER!READER

you need to work on the new track you're helping hongjoong produce for ateez, but wooyoung can't seem to be able to concentrate. though, you slowly notice that he loves it a little too much when you're mean to him.

-> USE ME

_ DAY 17 | ROUGH + LOUD SEX W. SOOBIN

it has not been long since you started dating soobin, and every intimate moment you had until then has been cut short. frustration starts to grow on the two of you and when he finally has the opportunity to have you all to himself, soobin doesn't hold back.

-> BE YOUR LOVE

_ DAY 18 | DACRYPHILIA + SPANKING W. RICH!SUNGHOON x BOOKWORM!READER

sunghoon is gentle enough to indulge in your book addiction. what he cannot bear is when you're ignoring him to read and fawn over some guy who doesn't even exist. he spoils you so it's only fair he takes what he wants from your body as a reward for being such a good boyfriend.

-> CRY FOR ME

_ DAY 19 | OMORASHI + SPIT W. LEE CHAN

after having taken you out a on a bunch of dates, you got comfortable enough to invite chan to come have a last drink at your apartment after a night out. chan really needs to go to the bathroom, but he doesn't want to cut off the conversation flowding fludily between the two of you, especially not when he had been meaning to ask you out for ages. so he stays here and tries to not think about his growing need to pee, even if it might lead to an accident.

-> NOT EASY FOR YOU

_ DAY 20 | COLLAR/LEASH + JEALOUSY W. BF!OH SEUNGMIN

despite you wearing the collar seungmin bought you, some guy still had the nerves to try and hit on you. your boyfriend had to do something, and to remind you that no one could ever treat you as good as he could.

-> HANDS ON YOUR KNEES [TBD]

_ DAY 21 | QUIROPHILIA W. SURGEON!YUNHO x SURGEON!READER

working with yunho was both a blessing and a curse. a blessing because he was incredibly talented and smart. a curse because you had to look at his pretty hands all day long and it was very, very distracting. so when you spend the night trying to come up with a diagnostic for a patient, doing exams in the labo all night with him, you cannot hide your attraction anymore.

-> UNDER THE INFLUENCE [TBD]

_ DAY 22 | APHRODISIACS + GROUP SEX W. ENHA HYUNG LINE

to celebrate the release of the new album of your friends, you decided to make them some cocktails. exept that they don't taste like they usually do, and when the fifth of you start to feel hot and bothered, you definitely understand that someone put something in your drinks.

-> FEELING GOOD [TBD]

_ DAY 23 | SEXTING W. BFF!YEONJUN

when your best friend receives a nude from you on a random tuesday, he feels the need to seek some clarification, and maybe that it is his chance to finally fuck you like he's been wanting to for years.

-> OOPS [TBD]

_ DAY 24 | MUTUAL MASTURBATION W. BEST FRIEND'S BROTHER!JEONGIN

you always had a soft spot for your best friend's little brother, maybe a little crush if you were honest. however, learning that he was still a virgin despite being this hot, you take it into your own hands to show him how it should be done.

-> SHAMELESS [TBD]

_ DAY 25 | OVERSTIMULATION + SEX WORK W. RICH!HEESEUNG x STRIPPER!READER

when a client offers a generous amount of bills to get a private show from you, you have no other choice but to say yes. after all, you need that money and the guy is handsome, you couldn't ask for more.

-> BROUGHT THE HEAT BACK [TBD]

_ DAY 26 | THREESOME + BATHING W. BFF!SEOKMIN & HOSHI

your parents are away all summer, and you take it upon yourself to invite your two best friends to spend it with you in their big villa. however, seeing you walking around in skimpy bikinis is starting to feel frustrating for soonyoung, and when he shares his misery to seokmin, they decide to act on it. the jacuzzi seems like a perfect excuse to finally get you all for themselves.

-> SOAKED [TBD]

_ DAY 27 | BITING W. IDOL!SEONGHWA

you never knew about your boyfriend biting kink until wooyoung revealed it in one of their videos. quickly, an idea emerges in your mind and you decide to make his fantasy come true.

-> SUPER FREAKY BOY [TBD]

_ DAY 28 | FREE USE W. MINHO FT. HYUNJIN

you really liked it when hyunjin came over to spend some time with your boyfriend, but today wasn't the good time because minho was needy. but luckily for him, you only want to satisfy him, no matter if hyunjin is still here.

-> SUCH A WHORE [TBD]

_ DAY 29 | CHOKING + HUMILIATION W. GYM TRAINER!TAEHYUN

today, you don't seem to be able to focus and your trainer is not having it, at all. but the effect his harsh words have on you are not what he imagined. but is it really a crime when you look this good in your gym clothes.

-> MASK OFF [TBD]

_ DAY 30 | SCENT KINK W. PERVY ROOMMATE!JUNHAN

you only see junhan as your roommate, and he knows it. you made it very clear by fucking with some guy when he's next door. but still, junhan cannot help his attraction to you, he cannot help sniffing your dirty panties and too bad that he didn't hid very well the last pair he stole, still covered in his cum. maybe that he picked your interest in the end.

-> I'LL MAKE YOU LOVE ME [TBD]

_ DAY 31 | SIZE KINK W. PIRATE!YUNHO & MINGI

being the captain of a boat with only men on board is sometimes tiring, but luckily, your two wingman are always willing to help, in more ways than one.

-> BIG BOY [TBD]

[jflemings]

— loose lips sink ships pt2

pairing: jessie fleming x reader part 1, part 3

synopsis: jessie goes out with her team and reconnects with her ex from college

warnings: language

a/n: with the way i’m writing this i honestly have no idea how long the series is gonna be but my hopes is more than 3 parts. (this is also shorter than i intended whoops)

୧ ‧₊˚ 🍁 ⋅ ˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚

music pumps through the bar as jessie’s teammates down drinks. they’re occupying a corner and a bit of a long booth against the back wall furthest from the bar, tucked away in the darkness as they all happily talk and laugh.

she’s squashed in between janine and the wall, nursing a half drunk beer as she listens to her canadian teammate’s conversation. jordyn and janine talk animatedly about something, leading the conversation whilst quinn and sinc add their two cents every so often.

she takes a swig and tries to decipher whatever jordyn is trying to say in her half-drunken state when someone comes to stand just in front of her. she drains her neck to see olivia dressed in a simple black t-shit and jeans, her hair pulled back loosely. she smiles.

“how’s the ankle?”

“it’s okay” olivia says with a wave of her hand “it’s heaps better now but i still have to stay off it as best i can”

jessie immediately stands “do you wanna sit? i you can take my spot”

“no, no, that’s okay. i’m good standing”

the canadian still moves out of the way “are you sure? because it’s really no big deal”

olivia tuts “you haven’t changed much from college, have you?”

for some reason jessie’s face blazes at the small comment. she rubs the back of her neck hesitantly “i guess not, no”

the seattle player slides in front of jessie and between the table, the two of them chest to chest, as she sits in the spot that was previously occupied. jessie leans on the wall and nervously taps her pointer finger against the cool glass of her bottle as olivia looks her up and down innocently.

“that’s a good thing, y’know. you were always such a sweetheart, it’s nice to know that part of you hasn’t changed as you’ve gotten older” olivia says as she takes a sip of whatever she’s drinking “though, i didn’t think it would”

jessie tilts her head “you haven’t changed much either”

“good”

a beat of silence overcomes the two of them and suddenly jessie was really missing you. she’d settled into portland fine, but outside of sinc and janine she didn’t really have any solid connections with anybody on the team. you were always the more social of the two of you and often acted as a buffer for jessie in these situations.

“how have you been?” olivia asks “moving from london to portland is pretty big”

“i’ve been good, getting settled and such” jessie nods “it was just time for a change i suppose. i wasn’t getting the game time at chelsea and i wanted to make a bigger impact, among other things” she shrugs and takes another sip of her beer, her nerves slowly fading out of her “how about you? been up to much?”

“honestly, not really. same old same old.” olivia says as she finishes off her drink, leaving the ice at the bottom of her glass to clink against the sides “i saw that you’re now the captain of canada, congrat—”

“the wife stayed home then” sam interrupts louldy as she flings an arm around jessie

jessie grimaces at her intrusion “yeah—”

“wife?” olivia asks, directing her gaze from coffey to jessie’s unoccupied ring finger “you’re married?”

“they may as well be” sam half boasts for jessie “it’s sickening how cute they are, makes me wanna throw up”

jessie gives olivia a small smile “she’s just my girlfriend, we’re not even engaged”

“oh” olivia says “why didn’t she come out?”

“she, uh, she was the one you elbowed in the nose. she’s just really swollen and didn’t really want to” jessie says as she rubs the back of her neck “it’s not broken or anything though”

a look of surprise washes over olivia’s face as she wracks her brain trying to remember what you look like. she tilts her head in thought “send her my best then, i didn’t get to talk to her after the game”

jessie shifts from one foot to the other “i will”

“…so how long have you two been together?”

“it’ll be four years in november” she says shortly. this wasn’t a conversation she was expecting to have to be honest. the two of you weren’t a secret amongst the footballing world, to the players at least, so she had just assumed that olivia knew about the two of you.

olivia’s eyebrows raise in surprise “you moved on quick then” she laughs “we only broke up, like, a month and a half before you moved to london”

sam’s eyes rapidly go from jessie to olivia to back to jessie, a look of confusion on her face. she cocks a brow and takes a long sip of her vodka and coke, grasping the short straw between her thumb and forefinger as she sticks out her pinkie.

jessie’s lips fall into a flat line “i guess” she says awkwardly, taking another sip of her beer and eyeing janine. her best friend looks the two of them up and down with a blank expression before turning back to jordyn, sinc and quinn. jessie tears her eyes away.

“what about you. seeing anyone?”

olivia swirls the ice in her glass “uh, no” she says looking up at jessie “you’re not a very easy person to get over”

her words make jessie feel a bit off-kilter. she quickly looks to sam who concludes that she isn’t apart of this conversation and pats jessie on the back before leaving, going off to talk to the others. jessie breathes a short sigh of relief. her and olivia had talked shortly a few times over the years, like when canada won gold at the olympics and olivia congratulated her, but jessie never got any indication that maybe she wasn’t over the relationship.

she must be wearing her thoughts all over her face because olivia is quick to put her hands up “i meant you weren’t! there’s no ah— i don’t feel that way anymore” she rushes, looking down at her glass before smiling back at jessie “and i’m really happy that you’ve found someone”

jessie nods “thanks, she’s pretty great”

olivia nods “she’d have to be to keep up with you”

time passes as the two of them continue to talk and laugh, reminiscing their time together at school. the two of them fall into conversation like they’d stayed close over the past four years, words flowing easily and laughs bubbling.

suddenly, jordyn jumps up from her spot “photo! everyone get in for the photo!”

jessie rolls her eyes but turns around to face her canadian teammate. olivia shuffles over as people move to fill the gap that jordyn left “sit” she says as she taps jessie on the lower back.

she smiles and nods a thanks, squeezing in next to the wall like she had been before.

“jessie smile!” jordyn scolds “sinc move your head i can’t see quinny”

sinc rolls her eyes at jordyn’s demands but complies. once she’s happy with how everyone looks, jordyn takes the photos. she spam clicks her phone and quickly goes through them whilst smiling, clearly satisfied with how they all turned out.

this time olivia stands. she tugs on the shoulders of her shirt and turns around to face jessie “i’m gonna go” she says jerking her thumb “but i had a really good time catching up with you. i’d love to do it again whenever we can”

jessie can’t help but smile “i’d like that too” she says.

olivia places a hand on jessie’s shoulder before going and saying goodbye to her own teammates, leaving jessie once again tucked away in the corner.

she finishes off her beer just as janine slides into her, pushing her further into the wall. the two of them are now shoulder to shoulder “so, olivia”

jessie narrows her eyes “what about her?”

“i just didn’t know she was coming”

“yeah, she said she didn’t know if she was going to when i spoke to her this afternoon. guess she changed her mind” jessie shrugs “it was good seeing her”

janine hums “how’s y/n?”

“good. sore, but fine” she answers as she places the empty glass bottle down. “she’s probably asleep, she was in a frosty mood before i left”

janine’s eyes go wide and she necks the remainder of her drink, slamming it down on the table “i’m gonna get another, do you want one?” she rushes as she points to the empty beer bottle.

jessie cocks her brow “changing the subject, much” she points out “but no, i’m fine. not really in the mood to drink”

janine shrugs “i’m not changing the subject, i was just asking if you wanted another drink” she says surely, standing.

jessie rolls her eyes as janine whips around to go to the bar, stumbling slightly as she smacks her thigh into the table. soph and sam also stand and follow her, the three of them talking eachother’s ears off as they go.

the midfielder slumps in her seat as fatigue catches up with her. she closes her eyes momentarily before her phone buzzes in her pocket.

getting it out, she sees that she’s been tagged in jordyn’s instagram story. upon opening the app, she comes face to face with one of the group photos that was taken, a mix of portland and seattle players all squished into frame. her eyes fall to the end where her and olivia are basically on top of one another. she’s donning a proper smile, as per jordyn’s request, and olivia’s leg is almost thrown over her right knee.

she doesn’t think anything of it and locks her phone after liking the story, smiling and raising her eyebrows as janine comes back.

she’s careful not to hit her leg again as she slots back in between jessie and soph — who is now sitting where sinc was — and begins talking as she sits.

“ethan’s gonna come get me, we can take you home if you want? save you calling an uber or something” she says as she sips her drink.

jessie nods “yeah, that would be great”

“he says he’ll be here in five!” she informs jessie cheerily “which is good because you looked like you’ve wanted to leave since olivia left”

“i have not” jessie protests as she furrows her brows “i’m just tired”

“mmm okay” the forward purses her lips “it was good catching up with her then?”

“yeah, yeah it was. i haven’t seen her in a while” jessie says, a hint of nostalgia tainting her voice.

“i thought the two of you stayed friends after college?”

“we did” jessie picks her fingernails “we just obviously haven’t seen eachother”

almost awkward silence overtakes the pair of friends and jessie suddenly feels uneasy. she still felt awkward talking about olivia despite the fact that they ended on good terms, and four years ago. the feeling of nostalgia wasn’t one that was welcomed when she thought about her first love.

jessie had tried to date people in highschool once or twice but she was still figuring out her sexuality and juggling school and football, ultimately it just came down to the fact that she didn’t have time to maintain a relationship. it was pretty much the same for her first two years of college. she had spoken to a few girls, went on some dates and even let teagan try to set her up at frat parties. none of it stuck until olivia.

they were close friends in school and the feelings had just developed naturally. the pair of them agreed that if it didn’t go anywhere, then it didn’t matter, it just meant that they were better as friends.

only, it did go somewhere. olivia had become jessie’s first for pretty much everything when it came to a relationship. she was the first girl jessie had said i love you to, her first time, and her first heartbreak.

when chelsea ended up on jessie’s doorstep she knew she couldn’t refuse. they were a powerhouse of a club and with women’s football growing, she knew that it was where she wanted to be. olivia and jessie agreed that long distance wasn’t going to work and broke up before her move to london. the breakup was amicable and sad. there were a few tears after olivia left her dorm room and jessie in the silence, but she quickly picked herself up and moved on, promising that she’d focus on football.

then she moved, and covid was hitting hard, and she was still settling, and then she met you.

you, who had captured her attention immediately. you, who had left her obsessed after just one conversation. you, who she was sure was the love of her life.

but you weren’t here right now and she hated that because of your absence, feelings of longing and nostalgia had managed to bleed their way into her heart. she was sure she didn’t love olivia anymore — she knew she didn’t — but that didn’t stop the reminiscing.

janine coughs “well, it’s good that you got to catch up then!” she says as she, once again, necks her drink, making jessie’s brows furrow in confusion.

“you usually pace yourself better” jessie points out.

“do i? i didn’t know that” janine shrugs “ethan says i’m a sloppy drunk”

“yeah, maybe when you were under the age of twenty five” jessie says cautiously “what’s with you tonight?”

“what do you mean?” janine tilts her head and fakes confusion.

jessie rolls her eyes but waves her off, not being in the mood to entertain whatever game janine is playing when she’s so ready to go to bed. “don’t worry about it”

janine’s phone buzzes and she claps her hands and stands “perfect, let’s go then, ethan’s here”

jessie follows janine’s lead and stands to say goodbye to the people she knows and the people she doesn’t, waving on her way out to the car so she can go home to you.

[miriellesandthegiantpeach]

Some more of Buck and Tommy's relationship language:

“Got it,” Buck says smugly, turning his cocky smile to Tommy.

“How?” Tommy looks back scandalized. “Today's is literally impossible. I haven't even got the yellow set yet!” He scowls at his phone that has the NYT app opened to today's Connections. “Help me.”

“It'll cost ya.”

“Name your price, I don't want to lose my streak.”

“Hmmm,” Buck draws out. “Third base?”

“Third base? Damn. Prices have gone up.” Buck just laughs. Tommy pulls on Bucks chin for a dizzying kiss, leaving him breathless when he pulls back. “How's that?”

“Yeah. That works,” Buck says back, not taking his eyes off Tommy's lips.

--

Buck and Tommy having non verbal communication. A quick frown mixed with a minute shake of his head as one of Tommy's coworkers says something homophobic adjacent. Buck's eyes shoot directly to Tommy's and susses out if it's worth it to speak up or not.

Tommy tapping twice on Buck's knee or tugging twice on a belt loop when he catches the anxious crease in between his boyfriend's eyebrows. Buck will either offer an explanation or just shake his head, smile, and kiss Tommy's cheek in thanks.

When they're separated at a party or work function they always seem to find each other's eyes across the room. Once eye contact is made, Tommy throws him a wink or Buck smiles his special Tommy smile.

Buck talks very animatedly to someone and when he feels two strong familiar hands on his waist he moves easily. Either Tommy just wants to be close or actually has to move him out of the way, but Buck will always follow his lead.

Buck unknowingly stretches his bad leg while in bed or on the couch and Tommy just says “come on, give it here,” and lays his left leg across Tommy's leg to massage.

Tommy will get this look of longing in his eyes at a 118 get together when he's just standing on the outside of their circle of conversations. Buck takes him by the hand and pulls him in, everyone easily including Tommy like it's no big deal. But to Tommy it never fails to make it heart flutter.

A kiss to the forehead and a scratch to his scalp when he falls asleep on the couch tells Tommy it's time to get up before he starts complaining to Buck about his back aching from being in that position.

They walk through Target in June and Tommy picks up anything that says 'Ally' on it and shows it to Buck only to get flipped off.

–

“Drink this. Stop itching,” Tommy lightly scolds as he takes Buck's right hand and places the water glass in his hand.

“Okay, mom,” Buck pouts but complys. “how did I manage to break my wrist and catch a cold in one call?”

“Just your luck, babe. Also it's a hairline fracture, I'd barely call it a break,” Tommy reasons. Buck unconsciously goes to scratch the wrapping around his wrist. “Stop scratching.”

Buck just huffs and rolls his eyes. He looks up to see Tommy unwrapping the cold medicine he picked up on his way here. He stretches out his injured wrist to Tommy and wiggles his fingers. The pain has dulled to an ache.

“Thanks. For everything. For being here.”

Tommy takes Buck's fingers and bows his head to kiss Buck's exposed knuckles so he doesn't jostle his wrist. “Of course.”

Buck gives him a dopey smile. “Better already.”

For maybe the 1000th time in their seven month long relationship Tommy looks at Buck like he's never been more in love.

[buckysdollbarnes]

you are in love series - part one

one look, dark room

PAIRING: tfawts!bucky x grad student!reader

Summary: Moving to NYC to go to grad school, your friend's dad has a connection with the owner of a rental building in Brooklyn where you can live on your own, for cheaper than you could get anywhere else. On a student's budget, you strive to still make your place your own by thrifting as much decor as possible. Meeting your quiet and somewhat secretive neighbor, James, you gain some free labor to help you move the random stuff you buy, and with that he may be growing to love parts of the modern world he has been missing. With you in a big, new city feeling alone for the first time and Bucky wanting to make a connection with someone other than Sam and his therapist, maybe online marketplaces and a turntable will bring you both what you need most.

warnings: mild language

word count: 4.7k

a/n: this is my first time EVER writing fiction, usually I only ever write academic papers so this is fun. :) I read over and revised this chapter so many times, so I hope you enjoy it! Feedback is always welcomed and I'm excited to start on the next chapter.

a/n: also!! sorry for it being so long genuinely just so much had to happen in this chapter for it to be set up the way I wanted, which I think I did well enough. lmk what you think <3

Why did I think carrying this by myself was a good idea? It might be cute and a great deal, but I don’t think I'll be able to feel my arms tomorrow. I might need to hit the gym again before I find more bargains like this. Hell, maybe I'll even invest in a neck towel, because this heat is unbearable. I’ve been searching for some larger pieces to fill my apartment, and this vintage bar cart should fit perfectly. Just five more blocks to go.

Moving here alone has certainly come with its challenges: being on my own in such a big city, dealing with a lot of stress, and managing on a tight budget. But I’m determined to make it work though and prove everyone wrong. Growing up, you see so many romcoms where the heroine leaves everything behind to chase her dreams in NYC, landing a job at a magazine or fashion house, living in a gorgeous high-rise, and meeting the perfect guy. It’s a beautiful fantasy really, but the reality is much tougher. New York isn’t a movie set; it’s a real city with real people, and you have to work just as hard, if not harder, to be here. I know that, but it feels like a majority of my people back home DON’T know that I know that.

I came here for school. In about two months, I’ll be starting my Master’s program at NYU. I don’t think I’ve ever been as proud as when I received my acceptance email. I worked my ass off in undergrad to earn strong recommendations and good academic standing, and seeing it all come together was a huge relief—until the reality of the cost hit me.

Luckily, a friend's dad has a connection with a landlord in Brooklyn and got me a good deal on a place of my own. It’s incredible not to have a roommate in this market, especially in a place where your bed doesn’t touch your stove, though it can be a bit lonely.

Finally, reaching the stoop, out of breath, you set the cart down on the pavement. Wiping your brow, you notice the street is unusually quiet for this time of day. The city never truly sleeps, but the residential streets seem to take occasional naps. A little breath of air somewhere where it feels like oxygen is running out sometimes. Light filters through the trees, momentarily blinding you, and you turn back toward the building.

“How on earth am I going to get this up to my floor?”

Carrying it down the street was one thing, but hauling it up the stairs is a whole different challenge. Plus, who knows when the building's maintenance has last been here, the steps might not hold up under the cart’s weight. They usually feel like they could give away holding one person.

Deciding that falling to your death and being crushed isn’t really how you want to go, you open the double doors and drag the cart into the lobby, using the wheels on one side. Passing the main desk where the worker, who looks completely uninterested, engrossed in a crossword puzzle, you make your way to the end of the hall and start pulling the cart backwards up the incline of the stairwell.

“Nah, I can’t,” you say aloud, after struggling up two floors, letting the cart rest on the landing. There’s still three more floors to go, but your body is clearly telling you the cart belongs right here. Maybe the universe wants it to stay here—who knows, maybe the entire second floor needs a communal bar more than you do.

“Excuse me,” a quiet but rough male voice comes from behind me. You turn around to see him—a guy you’ve seen around your floor a few times, though you’ve never talked. One of the neighbors. You quickly realize you’re blocking the entire staircase.

“Sorry! Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry. I’ll move this um — just give me a second.”

You shove the cart closer to the wall to make some space for him to pass, but he stays put, his gloved hands in his pockets. He’s definitely handsome—tall and solid, but not intimidating. His furrowed brow and tight-lipped expression don’t exactly scream “welcome,” but he’s still got a certain charm.

He shifts a bit, clearly wanting to say something but hesitating. Feeling a bit awkward under his gaze, you decide to try talking to him again.

“You can just squeeze by if you want. It’s just really heavy, so I’m taking a quick break before I try lifting it up again.”

After a moment, he seems to make up his mind and asks, “Do you need help?”

Looking back at him, you consider saying no. You pride yourself on being independent and capable, and part of you wants to insist you can handle it. But then you think about the struggle of getting the cart up the last two flights of stairs—only this time, it's three—and decide against it.

“You wouldn’t mind? You’re headed down, I’m sure you’ve got somewhere else to be.”

He gives a little smirk that makes you feel a bit dizzy.

“Well, I’m already here so.”

You nod slowly, a small smile appearing on your face.

“Sure, you can take this end, and I’ll get this o—” you start to say, but before you can finish, he’s already in front of you, lifting the cart with ease and starting up the stairs without breaking a sweat.

“Hey! Be careful, uh—,” you pause, realizing you don’t know his name.

He picks up on your hesitation and hesitates himself, considering whether to give his name. He’s wary of how others might perceive him, potentially recognizing his name from past news broadcasts or papers, still dealing with the shadows of his past despite his efforts to make amends. Not wanting to be dishonest, he chooses the safe option.

“James.”

“Be careful, James. I don’t want you tripping and falling on my account.”

“Won’t happen, doll.”

“What-,” you start, caught off guard by the pet name, “what if it does?”

“It won’t, see?” With the last few steps, you and James arrive at your floor. “Already here.”

He must have seen you around before too, to know where you live.

He gives you a quick look and then carries the cart to your door.

“This is yours, right?” He turns and looks at you expectantly. You rush over, fumbling for your keys to unlock the door. If he’s willing to move it all the way, who are you to turn him down?

You lead James into your apartment, wondering if it looks anything like his. The layout can’t be that different; it’s not exactly a luxury building.

He strolls further into the room.

“You can set it right here,” you say quickly. “Thank you for bringing it up for me. I was honestly thinking about giving up when you showed up.”

Setting the cart where you indicated, he straightens up, rolls his shoulders back, and gives you a look that feels intense.

“It’s no problem.”

His gaze wanders around your apartment, taking in the mix of vintage furniture and eclectic decor. On a student’s budget, you’ve filled your space with secondhand finds. It’s more affordable and personal that way. The place might not be filled with new things, but it’s entirely curated by you. Finding beauty in the mix of old and new is something you do well, and now, thanks to James, you have one more piece to add.

James’s eyes land on your turntable setup. He seems intrigued by your collection of records but doesn’t say anything, turning his attention back to you.

“I have to go.”

Your eyebrows lift at his abruptness. Sensing your surprise, he quickly adds, “I’ve got an appointment.”

You nod vigorously, urging him to go and thanking him again for his kindness. Feeling a bit sad that this chance encounter with your new neighbor is ending so quickly, you call out as he heads for the door.

“I’ll see you around then? Since you live here too.”

He turns on his heel, giving you one last smirk.

“Yeah, you’ll see me.”

As he heads down the stairs, you shut your door and lock it behind you. Wandering over to where James’s gaze lingered, you pull an album from the shelf, lift the acrylic cover on your turntable, and set the record down. You close the cover, push play, and let the needle softly drop onto the vinyl. As the music starts, your mind drifts back to James.

Embarrassingly, you find yourself hoping this isn’t a one-time encounter. You don’t know much about him beyond his name, but there’s something about him that makes you want to see him again.

“Two hundred bucks for this is crazy,” you mutter to yourself, staring in disbelief at the sofa you’re eyeing on Facebook Marketplace.

“People are practically giving this stuff away.”

Not wanting to miss out on such a good deal, you message the seller to check if it’s still available.

Since you got the bar cart about a week and a half ago, you haven’t picked up anything else. With the July heat blasting, just thinking about moving a sofa in this weather makes you want to rip off your skin to cool down.

You can’t help but think of James, who you’ve seen briefly in the hallway since your last encounter. He just nodded as he passed by, and that was it.

Your phone dings, snapping you out of your thoughts. The seller confirms the sofa is still available and offers to deliver it since they have a truck.

Excited, you reply with a yes, and they let you know they’ll head your way soon.

You get up to rearrange your furniture, making space for the new sofa. You don’t have much to move since you’ve been slowly collecting things. As you shift the pieces around, your turntable stops, signaling it’s time to flip the record. After you do, you take a moment to picture how the sofa will fit in the space.

Then it hits you—moving a sofa is way heavier than the bar cart. If you struggled with that, how on earth will you manage this?

“Independent woman, my ass.”

With the delivery imminent, you decide on the only solution you can think of. Without hesitation, you head to the apartment across the hall and knock softly on the door. You wait, hoping James will answer. After a moment of shuffling and then silence, you start to wonder if you should just try something else.

Just then, the door cracks open, revealing half of James’s face. He looks curious but not annoyed—no one usually visits him.

“Hey! James! Great to see you again! I hope I’m not interrupting anything, but I was wondering if you could help me out a bit? I just bought a sofa from this marketplace deal, and the seller’s coming to drop it off right now. He said he’d deliver it, but didn’t offer to help get it up to my apartment. I realized a sofa is way heavier than a bar cart, and you saw me struggle with that, so I was kinda sorta hoping you could help me bring it up here?”

After your rambling, you offer him a hopeful smile, waiting for his response.

A few moments of silence later, that smirk you’ve been missing appears on his face. Opening the door wider, he comments with a grin.

“You bought another thing you knew you couldn’t get up the stairs?”

“I honestly didn’t think it through. The deal was too good to pass up. I’m really sorry for bothering you. I can try to find someone else if you’re busy.”

“I didn’t say I wouldn’t help, doll.”

The smile that blooms on your face is unavoidable.

As the delivery guy drives away, James shows you where to grab the sofa and effortlessly lifts the other end. He encourages you to take the lead, making sure the weight is on him as you both navigate the stairs. With minimal effort, you get the sofa up to your place.

After some awkward maneuvering, you finally get the sofa into your apartment through the thin door and set it down. You put your hands on your hips and exhale deeply, only to find James already looking at you with that same intense gaze from before. It makes you a little nervous.

You can’t help but feel grateful—there’s no way you would have managed this on your own.

“I could have handled the bar cart,” you say, nodding toward the cart now adorned with bottles in the corner, “but this? No chance. Thanks so much for your help.”

“Don’t worry about it,” he replies. “I wasn’t busy.”

As you look at him, you start to feel like you know him from somewhere beyond being just a neighbor. Maybe you’ve seen him around the city before you moved?

Brushing off the thought, you offer, “You’ve helped me out twice now, and it doesn’t feel right not to return the favor. If your whole evening consists of not being busy, why not stay for dinner? I promise I’ll cook something totally good and not poisonous.”

James looks surprised by your offer but quickly hides it.

“You don’t need to do that. You don’t owe me anything,” he says, not wanting you to feel obligated or uncomfortable. He worries that his presence might not be enjoyable.

He wishes he could be as charming as he was back in the 40s. Being friendly used to come easily, and if he were still the same person he was at 26, he wouldn’t have left so quickly after helping you on the stairs the first time. He wouldn’t have had a therapists appointment to go to and he wouldn’t have a hidden arm made of metal. He’d have asked you to dinner or for you to let him take you dancing instead in return for his brawn. Now, he struggles to make new connections beyond a few familiar faces, like Sam, and asking someone for a dance feels out of reach.

“No, no! Stay, I insist! It gets kind of lonely around here, doesn’t it? Why not have a friend dinner?” you press, hoping he’ll take you up on the offer.

Seeing your sincerity, though still feeling a bit miffed, he finally agrees.

“Yeah, sure. I can stay.”

James settles onto the sofa while you work in the kitchen. You’ve decided on making some stuffed ravioli and garlic bread—easy, delicious, hard to mess up.

Before getting into cooking, you switch out the record, letting new music drift softly through the space. Unbeknownst to you, James watches closely, paying attention to how you handle the records and the turntable. The care you take when putting a record back in its slip, taking a new one out of its dust cover, and gently putting it on.

Seeing you focused on cooking, James gets up and strolls over to your setup. He runs his fingers lightly across the spines of the record sleeves, feeling a surprising sense of comfort. He hadn’t realized people still used record players so often.

The setup looks quite familiar to him, with many aspects reminiscent of the record players he used back in his earlier days. In his life before this one.

As you finish preparing the pasta and pull the bread from the oven, you call out, “Hey, food’s ready!”

You glance back to see James hovering by the turntable. He quickly moves to the table and sits down.

Over dinner, the conversation flows comfortably. James seems to be relaxing a bit, his initial reserve fading. He’s still somewhat guarded, but what he does share is genuinely interesting. You sense that opening up is challenging for him, so you respect his pace and take whatever he is willing to give. Laughing with each other a few times and getting through some odd topics, he mentions that he hasn’t had a home-cooked meal in quite a while and thanks you with a smile.

After a pleasant dinner, you decide to bring up something you’d been curious about.

“You like records?”

Caught off guard by the question, James tries to answer without revealing too much about himself. It feels strange to be here, knowing you don’t really know who he is, but he worries that being too open might scare you away. He decides to keep his secrets for now, selfishly hoping to get to know you better before revealing more.

“Yeah, I used to have quite a few records as a kid. My ma would play them too, especially when she was cooking, just like you. I didn’t realize they were still so popular.”

Excited by this glimpse into his past, you push further.

“Oh, there’s definitely a huge market for vinyl. Lots of people who think it makes them superior, but also a lot who just love the physical aspect of it.”

“So which one are you?” he asks.

You laugh and reply, “Maybe a bit of both.”

You glance up at him from beneath your lashes, catching his rare smile.

“But really, I just like having it. There’s something different about the listening experience. It requires more effort than just hitting play on a playlist. It’s about choosing a full album and actually sitting down to listen. That feels more intentional to me, and that’s why I do it.”

James seems to ponder your answer, his expression softer than before. He then turns his gaze back to the turntable.

“So, since you mentioned you had records as a kid, do you not have any now?” you ask.

He shakes his head.

“Haven’t had any for a long time. Talking about it makes me miss them. Everything these days feels so complicated. I like simple things like that.”

Watching him as he looks away, you hesitate but notice the nostalgic shine in his eyes. You sense he might appreciate physical music even more than you do.

“If you ever get any and don’t have a place to play them, you’re welcome to use mine.”

He turns to face you, his expression unreadable.

“I mean, I know it’s not the most convenient offer, but it’s there. One record lover to another,” you add with a smile.

He returns your smile, saying, “Okay… thank you. I’ll keep that in mind, Doll.”

That night, Bucky lies on his makeshift bed on the floor, staring up at the ceiling and replaying the events of the day. You knocking on his door for help with the couch, inviting him over for dinner, and all the easygoing conversation you shared. It was such a stark contrast to his usual rigidity. He'd let his guard down just a little—letting himself smile or flirt ever so slightly.

He wishes he were better at this. It used to come so naturally. Hell, before he left for war, he’d gone dancing with both his own date and Steve’s at the same time. Now, he finds himself listening to you talk while struggling to share anything of his own.

He doesn’t want to pass up your invitation, especially since you’re inviting him into your space again. Clearly, his reserve hasn’t put you off too much.

“What would I even bring?” he wonders aloud.

All he’s ever listened to is 40’s music and big band. He doubts that’s readily available these days.

Rolling onto his side, he grabs the cell phone Steve had insisted he get before he went back in time to live his real life, without Bucky.

“You can do anything on here, Buck!”

Scrolling through the three contacts he has, he taps on the name of the guy who’s been trying to reach him for weeks.

“So, is there a valid reason why you haven’t picked up my damn calls?” Sam’s voice comes through.

“Sam, hi.”

“Did you finally learn how to click the screen? Is that why I’m hearing from you now, old man?”

“Look, I’m sorry. I just don’t like the thing. Too confusing,” Bucky says, grimacing as he fiddles with the phone.

“Okay, okay, what’s going on, man? You doing alright?”

“I’m fine. I just have a question and I’d appreciate it if you didn’t harass me about it.”

“Is it about wizards?”

“What?”

“Wizards. Is the question about wizards?”

“No, what the hell. Look, I had dinner with one of my neighbors tonight—”

“Was it a girl?”

“Does it matter?”

“Hell yes, it matters. And from that response, I KNOW it was a girl, so—”

“It doesn’t matter. She has a record player, which I didn’t know people still used, and she offered to let me use it, but I don’t have anything to play on it.”

“I’m not getting the problem.”

“I only like the stuff from the 40’s and—”

“Did you listen to that Marvin Gaye playlist I sent you?”

“Not interested.”

“C’mon, man, it’s good stuff. Give it a listen.”

“Not feeling it.”

“Alright, your loss, I guess. Still not seeing the problem though.”

“What do I bring? I can’t just bring around the stuff I know because where would I even get it?”

“Whoa, man, what do you mean, where would you get it? Just go to a record store and hit up the vintage section or something.”

Bucky pauses, mulling over Sam’s words.

“They have that?”

“Duh. You know, you could answer these questions a lot easier if you just looked them up on your phone—”

“Thanks, Sam. Talk to you later.”

Lying back down, Bucky decides that the next time he’s out to see his therapist, he’ll first stop by a record store to find something to bring over to your place.

Your easygoing presence was so comforting, and he found himself longing for it as he drifted off to sleep. He’d see you again soon enough.

Later in the week, as you wind down from a busy day, you focus on making your space as calming as possible.

You light some candles and turn on an orange floor lamp, the soft glow wrapping around you and setting the perfect mood to sink into your sofa with the book you’ve been neglecting.

You’ve just started settling into your reading when you’re jolted out of your half-nap by the sound of someone knocking on your door.

You get up and peer through the peephole, and there’s your dinner guest from earlier in the week.

Opening the door with a smile, you greet him.

“Hey James, unexpected visit! What’s up?”

His eyes linger on you for a moment before he speaks. You glance down and realize your outfit—shorts that really lived up to their name and a tank top—might not be the most guest-appropriate.

Brushing off your embarrassment, you look back up at him.

“I’ve got something I’d like to play, if that’s alright?”

Bucky’s mind races. Standing at your door, he worries maybe you only offered your place to be nice, and now he’s making a fool of himself. Of course, you didn’t want him there—he could barely talk.

Just as he’s about to get lost in his own head, your bright smile pulls him out of it.

“Oh my gosh, please, come in. What do you have?”

His doubt fades away as he sees your genuine excitement.

“Brought some Sinatra. Not sure if you’re into that, but I used to like his stuff when I was younger.”

You spin around abruptly, staring at him in disbelief.

“There’s no way you think I don’t know who Frank Sinatra is…”

Bucky stumbles over his words.

“Well, I mean, it’s not exactly new stuff so—”

“You think I wouldn’t know ‘Fly Me to the Moon’? ‘Singin’ in the Rain’? ‘New York, New York’? I mean, I even moved to New York—I had to get the romanticism from somewhere.”

“What are those?”

You pause, confused.

“Like, the most iconic Frank Sinatra songs. You are talking about Frank Sinatra, right? Not some other Sinatra I’ve never heard of?”

“No, you’re right, it’s Frank.”

“Then what do you mean?”

“I guess I don’t know those ones.” He admits.

“So, what era are we talking about?” You ask, reaching for the record.

As you grasp the sleeve, you notice a glint of light catching James’s bare hand. Realizing he’s not wearing gloves, confusion sets in before it clicks. You HAD seen James before.

Looking up at him, he seems frozen, obviously panicking. He planned to tell you eventually, but not like this. Not when you weren’t close enough yet.

He thought there is no way you are going to want anything to do with him now.

You thought there is no way was there's an actual Avenger in your apartment right now.

You’re frozen, just like him, but more in shock rather than fear.

“Do you… usually go by James?” you ask cautiously.

Hesitating, he shakes his head.

“What do you usually go by then?”

Bucky feels anxiety creeping up his back. You’re both still holding the record, and he can’t tell if you’re scared or just surprised.

“Bucky.”

You stay silent for a moment while Bucky’s nerves are on edge.

“So… metal hand…”

Clenching his jaw, he replies, “Arm.”

“You’re that Bucky.”

“Yes.”

After a long pause, you start again.

“You’re an Avenger and you didn’t tell me?”

Bucky hesitates, his discomfort visible. “I’m— I’m not an Avenger.”

“What do you mean? You’re totally an Avenger! Why wouldn’t you tell me? How did I not recognize you before?” you ask, laughing in disbelief.

Bucky’s taken aback. You really thought he was an Avenger? You’re not scared of him at all, which surprises him. You must not know much about his past if you’re still standing this close.

“No wonder you don’t know ‘New York, New York,’” you say, almost to yourself. “It’s from after your time! This is crazy, I—”

You’re interrupted by his response.

“Are you not scared?”

“Of course not.”

Bucky closes in on himself, panic evident. “If you really knew me, you’d want nothing to do with me. I’ve—”

“I might not know the version of you you’re talking about, but I’ve met James, who helped me not once, but twice  carry stuff he definitely didn’t have to up the stairs, stayed for dinner, has been very polite to me, and has given me zero reasons to be scared of him.”

He looks at you, his piercing blue eyes revealing an internal struggle. That one look holds more weight than his words. You can see the battle within him, torn between his past and the present moment.

“Listen,” you say, finally letting go of the record, “if you don’t want to stay, you don’t have to. But I’m not scared of you, and I actually like your company. So, regardless of whether you’re James, Bucky, or whoever, you’re still welcome here.”

You pause, adding, “And we can still play this if you’d like.”

Bucky struggles with his inner turmoil. The idea that you know who he is but still want him around is foreign to him. He doesn’t feel worthy of the kindness you’re offering, but it’s been so long since he’s received such warmth that it’s almost impossible to turn it down.

He’s not comfortable with his identity or his past, but in this moment, he wants to push it aside. If you don’t care, maybe he can allow himself not to care, even if just for a bit. Maybe he can prove something to himself, or even his therapist.

Handing you the record, he relaxes his face slightly. You’ve always thought him handsome, but in the dim light of the dark room, he looks almost ethereal.

You’re hoping he believes you because your excitement for his company tonight feels more significant than it probably should, but you’re okay with that.

“I’m Bucky.”

You smile warmly at this change. “Alright, Bucky. What do you want to do?”

He gazes at you deeply, his look sending a shiver down your spine and warming your chest. “Play it.”

a/n: well, hope this was alright. as I mentioned before, ive never wrote fiction before, but ive definitely read enough to get the gist.

[ivesambrose]

August 2024 Mini Messages 💛

1. 2. 3.

Like that Taylor Swift song right?

I intend that everyone has a good month regardless of the astrological weather.

To book a personal reading with me DM or email me at ivesambrose@gmail.com

Services Offered

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Picture 1

You'll be diving in deep into your subconscious this month even if it means wanting to isolate from people and places for a while. Suddenly everything seems So over the top', right? And nothing and no one is phasing you anymore. This month is the first page of a big journey you're about to take so if you don't have a journal already I'd highly recommend you start logging down certain things for the purpose of accountability, gratitude, planning, manifestion, learning as well as progress. I'm letting you know, whatever you're about to do for yourself will make you stand out and you might feel a certain responsibility upon yourself as you end up inspiring others as well. You may be a person with more independent way of thinking and doing things so it'll feel strange when you end up becoming someone who leads by example. You might find yourself breaking out from a restricted environment, mindset or lifestyle. It is likely your financial situation improves as well. You might feel a bit eccentric this month with your ideas and thrist for knowledge and experiences that shape you as a person.

You might just block out the things that don't serve you and fixate on what you want deliberately. You're too engrossed in your own world and your own untouched potential to consider anything else that is eating up too much of your valuable focus. You have decided to become a version of yourself that you have chained up for long and you will become it.

Picture 2

Your entire focus and drive has shifted to your career and public image. You've decided that even if you have to go at it alone, you will gO at it alone. But this month you'l likely learn that you aren't as by yourself as you thought you have been. Be mindful of doing anything impulsive or taking on more than you can chew or over exerting your body. Some of you may also find a healthy outlet for the emotions you have been putting a lid on. You might make new friends or deepen your relationship with existing ones. There will be moments of joy and celebration too when you least expect it. Deep down you have this inner knowing that things will go smoothly or will work out if you simply have just a teeny tiny bit more faith in yourself. You might be making travel plans too that will likely take off in September. You will also be building up your confidence this month and might also be learning a new skill, taking up a hobby or language. Thing is, you will be forced to take a pause in between or simply slow down and when that happens you might wonder okay how long is this going to take? Or you might assume your progress has halted which is far from the truth, you're in for a sweet victory consider it a reward for your persistence and your mindset.

Picture 3

There's a need to go off the radar and keep certain things private to the public eye. You might feel uncomfortable and untrusting towards a lot of people maybe you're right too, some of them aren't as reliable and don't really have your best wishes at hand. You might also consider investing in something privately for yourself for future use or you might get a return on an investment you had made. A lot of you may have been dealing with resentment, grief or some kind of fear, maybe past actions of someone towards you or how you had been with them. However. you'll find clarity and make peace in regards to what you're going through. You'll overcome something that has been hovering over you like a dark cloud for months. Some of you might also be manifesting love or end up manifesting a connection that earlier felt impossible to have in your life. You may also consider making business plans this month that you will likely launch by the end of the year. You may also consider cutting chords and might feel a sense of guilt doing so, but you'll feel much lighter and you'll find love and wealth and overall mental peace flowing into your life much easier. All the weight you've been carrying is itself begging you to let go of it, it no longer has anything to serve in your life.

[shkudss]

Weakened by Eywa Pt. 1

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

Masterlist

Summary: Ao’nung finally realizes that his actions have consequences

Warnings: curse words, bullying, mental breakdown, English isn’t my first language

Author’s note: it my first Avatar writing, so I hope you like it! This idea was spontaneous and I’m not really good at writing, but I hope you’ll enjoy it! I’m still learning how to use Tumblr properly since I don’t really use it 🥲

Yawntutsyip - darling, little loved one

Yaymak - foolish, ignorant

You thought that all these days when you flew to the water clans were the hardest in you life. Little did you know that life with Metkayina would be harder. You expected to finally live a normal life, doing your chores without being sacred to be shot by sky people. Now you’re safe, but things didn’t get better.

Since your arrival, these boys were bullying all your siblings, including you. You have no idea why it is important for Ao’nung to see totally similar to him Na’vis. You all are same avatars with slight differences that were unavoidable due to the environment you’re supposed to live in. Oh, yeah… supposed to live.

“What are you even doing here?”

“You’re so useless to our tribe”

“Go back to your monkey house”

All these words almost engraved in you mind without leaving space for other thoughts and hope. It’s been two weeks since you arrived and you still haven’t ridden an Ilu successfully, you can’t hold your breath as Metkayinas do. This makes you feel horrible and believe all these mean words.

“C’mon, Y/N, you can do it!”

Neteyam is trying to teach you how to deal with ilu and his voice is so calming, he really believes in you as an older brother. You wish you could just believe him, but insecurity lays too deep and securely in your mind.

“I don’t know… I can’t…”

Your voice was really soft and quiet as you’re the calmest child in your family. You don’t like loud sounds and fast actions. That’s just the way you are. Neytiri says that Sylwanin was just like you.

Despite being slower and more sensitive that other Sullys they loved and protected you with all their heart. Jake knew that Kiri and Tuk are different, they can deal with their problems a lot easier, while you cannot. When something bad to your family or yourself happens, you worry a lot and you won’t tell anyone about your worries unless they make you to. That was the hardest part of you character.

“Hey, are you okay? Do you need to take a break? We can continue tomorrow, don’t worry yawntutsyip.”

Neteyam was worried about your mental state, you were too quiet these days and it never meant anything good. Trying to make you speak about your feelings was completely impossible. You always think that your family has too much to worry about to burden them with your own issues. You want to be like Kiri and Tuk. That’s hilarious, Tuk is way younger than you but she’s able to deal with her emotions way easier than you.

“I’m good. Can we just take a break for like half an hour? I think my brain melts.”

You awkwardly smiled at the end trying to lighten the mood. Neteyam smiled back, feeling relief as you seemed to be just tired. He didn’t want you to hide anything from him and your family.

“Okay, yawntutsyip. I’ll go find Lo’ak and make sure his ass hadn’t get in trouble again. Kiri is on that side of the beach by the way. You can join her, she’s probably flirting with plants again. Let’s meet here in an hour.”

You laughed at his little joke about Kiri. But that’s a fact. Since you arrived here all she’s been doing is examining all local flora and fauna. You missed your time together in the forest, maybe now you’ll have a chance to talk and just be together.

“Okay!”

“Tell me if something goes wrong.”

You knew this look. The big brother look. Sometimes you think how hard it would be for you to live without your family, the way you’re connected to them something really fascinating. And one of your love signs is time. Spending time with your family and each member is the way you show love, the way you feel protected and loved.

You see Kiri laying down in water and looking for something. She didn’t see anyone around, attracted by… water? You didn’t try to understand what’s going on in her mind.

“Hey, pandora geek.”

You stood in front of Kiri and the shadow from your body covered her. Only after that she raised her head and squinted at you.

“I thought you’re with Neteyam. What’s wrong?” She sat on the sand, water was covering her legs a little. You did the same thing, hugging your knees and placing your head on them.

“We took a break, my brain doesn’t work properly. I still can’t ride ilu.”

Hopeless sigh made your sister chuckle, but then she saw your eyes. They were full of sadness, you were not happy. Kiri felt guilt, as your sister she had to be with you, she forgot that Sullys stick together.

“What bothers you?” You were not sure if it’ll be okay to tell her everything. But you family always encourage you to speak what lays in your heart, so you decided to do it.

“There’s a lot… I miss home, I miss flying with you, Neteyam and Lo’ak around Hallelujah mountains.” You were vulnerable now and this is one of those rare moments when you opened your feelings easily. Kiri was the only one you did it with. You could feel tears coming to your eyes, you needed this. “I just miss our way of life. I don’t know why it’s so hard for me to get used to it. Especially, when you always hear…”

“Hey monkeys! Still can’t ride ilu? How can you be so yaymak? You’re both freaks!” you could recognize this voice in millions. “One sister has demon blood, another is too dumb to do things that even infants can do!”

Ao’nung and his friends were coming towards you. Kiri’s body immediately tensed, you could feel it.

“What do you want? Is there nothing to do?”

Ao’nung and his friends came closer and you both stood up. Kiri was looking at him angrily, ready to fight. You were supposed to have such a good conversation, opening each other your soul, but this bully spoiled everything.

“My goal for now is to get rid of such fake Na’vis like you two and your stupid little brother.”

You were furious, how dare he talk like this about your family. Yes, he did say mean things to you, but he still picked his words. Now it’s too much. Nobody can talk about your family this way.

“Shut up and don’t get close to me and my siblings!” You tried to get into protective sister mode. Kiri was shocked by the way you raised your voice. She’s never heard such tone from you before.

“Look at this! Little girl knows how to talk?” Ao’nung was teasing you and laughing with Roxto and the rest of his friends. “Maybe you’ll learn how to swim properly soon by the time my future brother or sister will turn 10. Hopefully.”

You clenched your fists, trying to hold all your emotions. Anger, offense, sadness. It felt like a hurricane of extremely high spectrum of emotions, which was hard for you to bear.

“Don’t you dare…”

You didn’t control yourself that you were coming closer and pushing him. The reason why you felt this way was in him.

He did this to you.

You didn’t care that he was taller than you and all you faced was his shoulders. You didn’t care that he barely moved as you tried to hurt him as much as he hurt you. All he did was laughing. It seemed like Ao’nung didn’t understand anything you said, like he didn’t see you breaking into pieces right in front of you.

“Calm down, you little skxawng!” It was a joke for him. For you it was your last piece of composure.

“You’re dumb! So dumb that you can’t even understand how much pain you give me! Every day I wish I don’t meet you so you won’t shower me with all your shit! Every night I cry myself to sleep because all your mean words you’ve said hurt me! And you don’t understand me, how can you be so mean?”

You were screaming at him and trying to hit, mental breakdown took over your senses. You could physically feel how your heart hurts and legs weaken. All sounds were heard as if from under the water, you didn’t see what’s going on around you. Someone’s holding your shoulders and pushing you to their chest to not let you fall on your knees.

“Don’t touch her!”

Furious voice sounded from afar. Neteyam. Your brother who always protects you, surrounds you with love you need. That’s why he calls you yawntutsyip. Little loved one.

You could feel your brother as he came closer to you. His steps were as heavy as his mood. When he saw you breaking down in front of this asshole and because of this asshole, he almost lost his temper. The way chief’s son was holding and looking at you, finally realizing that his actions have consequences. He had to drive you crazy to understand it.

“Back off! Now!”

He pushed Ao’nung as he got closer to him, taking off his hands off you. You didn’t realize it was him, who held you all this time. Was it long? Actually, everything happened in less than 2 minutes, but for you it was like an infinity.

“What happened?”

Lo’ak was here, he saw you crying in Kiri’s hands and Neteyam fighting with Ao’nung and his friends. He didn’t need to check on all details to punch Roxto and other guys.

“It’s fine, we’re here. Don’t worry.” Kiri was sitting with you and slowly swaying, while tapping your head to calm you down.

“I’m sorry, I…” that’s all you could say.

Neither you nor Kiri noticed how the fight stopped until Neteyam came closer and examined you. His eyebrow was cut so as his lower lip, but he didn’t care. Now he could feel only your pain.

“Yawntutsyip… my sister.”

“I’m sorry, Neteyam. I didn’t…” You were gasping for breath from crying, not being able to collect your thoughts.

“Shhh, that’s fine, you’re fine. We’re here, nobody will hurt you again.” Kiri gave you to Neteyam, he was calming you down repeating the same moves as Kiri did. You were crying, letting all pain, that was suppressed inside of your soul, to flow through you.

Your siblings knew that you need to feel it to let it go. That is the only way for relief.

“Let’s go home, yawntutsyip?” Neteyam’s voice was calming as always, he hated seeing you crying.

You just nodded in agreement, hiding your face in brother’s neck and holding him as if someone can take you from him in any moment.

Yes, most Na’vis are brave, ready to fight and protect their beloved ones. But you just can’t do it. You are the one who needs to be protected. Eywa created you that way and you can do nothing about it.

“Don’t ever come to our sisters, you little bitch! Are you so insecure that you’re afraid to battle with me and choose those who are weaker than you?” Lo’ak didn’t miss to say the last goodbye before following after all of you. He didn’t wait for the answer, he didn’t need it.

Ao’nung was standing up there and looking as your figures disappear. No words are in his mind, except for one.

“Fuck”

————————————————————————

I hope you liked it! I’m not sure if I’ll write the second part🫣 I have an idea but idk if it’s worth it, we’ll see!

[rosemariiaa]

~Lines we Drew~

part: 6 last part

pairing: Paige x Azzi

a/n: well..i really liked this series yall, but let me not get sappy 😞. I hope you enjoy this last part as much as I loved writing it, Im also thinking of doing an epilogue do y’all want that? other than that i love youuu 💌

themes: angst, language, fluff

Enjoy!!!

The air between them was still heavy from the argument. Paige’s body felt like it was burning from the inside out, anger boiling under her skin as she replayed the words exchanged with Azzi. She could feel the tears building, but she refused to let them fall in front of Azzi. Not again.

Paige clenched her fists and turned away, storming off down the hall. Her vision blurred as the tears finally slipped out, and before she even realized it, her feet had taken her back to her dorm.

She didn’t stop until she reached Nika’s room, barging in without knocking, plopping onto Nika’s bed in a crumpled mess of tears and frustration.

“What the hell happened?” Nika asked, clearly taken aback, but there was concern in her voice.

Paige buried her face into Nika’s pillow, her voice muffled, “Everything. It’s all just… fucked.”

Nika sat beside her, rubbing her back gently. “You wanna talk about it?”

For a few moments, Paige was silent, the weight of everything pressing down on her chest. “It’s Azzi… we argued again. I—I told her how I feel… how I’ve always felt… and I just… broke.” Nika’s eyebrows shot up. “Wait, you mean—”

“I mean everything,” Paige interrupted. “She left me, Nika. She fucking left me when I needed her the most. And she just acts like it wasn’t that big of a deal. Like… like I didn’t matter.”

Nika’s hand stilled on Paige’s back, her expression softening. “Paige…”

“It was my birthday, Nika,” Paige whispered. “The day she left. She didn’t even say goodbye. Just disappeared… left me with all this shit. My parents had just divorced, and I had no one to talk to… except her. And she just vanished.”

The floodgates opened, and Paige sobbed into the pillow, all the anger, pain, and heartbreak from years ago pouring out at once. Nika stayed quiet, letting Paige release everything she had held inside for so long.

———-

As Paige stormed off, Azzi stood frozen, watching her walk away with tears streaming down her face. Her heart ached seeing Paige like that, and for a moment, she wanted to chase after her, to stop her and fix everything… but she couldn’t. Suddenly, she was pulled back to that summer years ago, to the day before she left.

Flashback to USA Basketball Camp

She was just 15, playing on the USA Basketball team with Paige, and even back then, their connection was undeniable. But there was also something else. Something that confused her, scared her. Azzi was starting to realize her feelings for Paige weren’t just about basketball, weren’t just friendship. And that terrified her.

She remembered sitting at the kitchen table with her mom, Katie, the night before she left for good.

“Mom, I don’t know what to do,” Azzi admitted, her voice trembling. “I… I think I have feelings for Paige. But I don’t know if I’m ready to deal with that, I’ve never felt this way..towards anyone. I don’t know if I’m… ready for any of this.”

Katie looked at her with a soft, understanding smile, placing her hand on Azzi’s. “You don’t have to figure it all out right now, Az. It’s okay to be confused.”

“But what if I hurt her?” Azzi asked, tears brimming in her eyes. “What if I can’t… what if I’m not what she needs?”

Katie sighed gently. “Paige loves you, Azzi. That’s obvious. But you can’t make decisions out of fear. Whatever you choose, I’ll support you. Just be sure of one thing… Paige will understand, but you also can’t be surprised if there’s another reaction.”

Azzi had nodded, but deep down, she didn’t believe it. So the next morning, she left. She left Paige without a word, without an explanation. She couldn’t face her, couldn’t confront her own feelings. She didn’t even tell Paige goodbye. The guilt haunted her every day.

She thought she could run away from it, that distance would make it easier, but instead, it only made it worse.

———-

Present Day

Hours later, Paige, Azzi, and the team found themselves at a bar downtown. Nika had insisted that a night out would help everyone cool down and lighten the mood, but as soon as Azzi walked in and saw Paige across the room, all the tension came flooding back.

Paige was already at the bar, nursing a drink, her eyes flicking up to meet Azzi’s briefly before looking away. Azzi tried to ignore the sinking feeling in her chest, but after a few drinks, she couldn’t take it anymore. She walked over to Paige, standing beside her.

“We need to talk,” Azzi said, her voice low.

Paige snorted, downing the rest of her drink before turning to face her. “Talk? Now you wanna talk?”

Azzi hesitated, seeing the fire in Paige’s eyes, but pressed on. “I’m sorry. I should’ve—”

“Sorry? You think sorry is enough?” Paige interrupted, her voice rising. “You fucking left me, Azzi. You didn’t say goodbye. You didn’t give me a chance to… to understand. You just left.”

“I didn’t know what to do!” Azzi said, her voice desperate. “I was scared, Paige. I was confused. I thought leaving was the only way.”

The bar had gone quiet, people turning to watch their argument unfold, but neither of them cared.

Azzi’s eyes filled with tears. “I never wanted to hurt you, Paige. I didn’t know how to handle… us. I was scared.” “Scared of what?” Paige asked, her voice breaking. “Of me? You know what I can’t..I’m not doing this Az.”

Paige stormed out of the bar, her heart pounding in her chest, tears blurring her vision. She felt the heat of anger and betrayal boiling inside her, twisting her gut. She couldn’t believe how everything had spiraled out of control. The chaos of emotions threatened to drown her, and she just needed to get away.

She hurried down the street, not knowing where she was going but desperate to escape the suffocating weight of it all. All she knew was that she couldn’t face anyone right now.

“Paige! Wait!” Azzi’s voice cut through the night, pulling her back from her spiraling thoughts.

Paige paused but didn’t turn around. “What do you want, Azzi? Another half-assed apology?” Her voice dripped with sarcasm, masking the pain beneath.

Azzi caught up, grabbing her wrist gently but firmly. “No, I—I need to explain.”

Paige yanked her hand away, her heart racing. “Explain what? How you ghosted me when I was falling apart? Or how you dipped without a word and shattered my heart on my damn birthday?”

Azzi’s expression fell, guilt washing over her. “I know I hurt you, but—”

“But what, Azzi?” Paige interrupted, her voice shaking with frustration. “You left when I needed you the most! I was drowning, and you just ran away. You weren’t there for me when my parents divorced, when everything was crumbling. You were my rock, and you just disappeared!”

Azzi swallowed hard, feeling the weight of every accusation. “I’m sorry..I didn’t know that, I didn’t know how to handle it, Paige. I was lost, too.”

“Lost? You just left me!” Paige’s chest heaved with every word, anger mixing with hurt. “You were supposed to be my best friend. I thought I could count on you!”

Azzi’s heart ached, guilt crashing over her like waves. “I was scared,” she confessed, her voice breaking. “I was so confused about everything—about you, about me.., about us, and the pressure from the media, the coaches… I couldn’t deal with it. So I ran. I thought it would be easier.” Paige’s chest tightened, her emotions spilling over. “You didn’t give me the chance! You could have at least tried!”

Azzi took a shaky breath, the rawness of their argument hanging heavily in the air. “And I regret that every day. But I didn’t want to drag you down with my mess, Paige. I thought leaving would be better for both of us.”

Paige’s anger flickered, a new understanding dawning on her. “I get that you were scared, Azzi,” she said softly, her voice trembling. “But I was scared too. I felt so alone when you weren’t there. I thought we could face it together. I thought you understood what I was going through.”

“I should have been there,” Azzi said, her voice barely above a whisper. “I should have known you needed me, and instead, I just ran away.”

“Yeah, you did.” Paige paused, her tears glistening in the dim light. “And it hurt like hell. But I can see now that you were hurting too. I just… I needed you to be strong when I couldn’t be.”

Azzi looked down, guilt washing over her. “I wanted to be strong. But it was all too much for me, Paige. I was terrified of what my feelings meant, terrified of messing things up even more. I couldn’t handle the pressure and my feelings for you.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Paige asked, her heart softening as she reached for Azzi’s hand, intertwining their fingers. “We could have figured it out together.”

“I was scared of losing you,” Azzi admitted, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. “I thought leaving was the only way to protect both of us.”

Paige’s heart ached at Azzi’s confession. “I didn’t realize you were dealing with so much too. It felt like I was the only one hurting, but now I see how we both were. I just… I wish you hadn’t left me, especially on my birthday.”

Azzi’s eyes shimmered with remorse as she reached into her pocket, pulling out a small, delicate infinity necklace. “I left this for you. Under your pillow before I left. I thought maybe one day you’d find it and understand… But when it got sent back, I thought you didn’t want anything to do with me.”

Paige stared at the necklace, confusion mixing with the flood of emotions. “I’ve never seen that before,” she murmured, wiping her eyes. “How did it get sent back to you?”

Before Azzi could respond, the bar door swung open, and Jose, stepped outside, overhearing their conversation. “Wait, are you talking about that necklace?” he called out, pointing.

Azzi nodded, her heart racing. “Yeah, why?”

Jose shrugged, looking sheepish. “One of the coaches found it in your room at camp and sent it back to the house. I thought you knew.” Azzi blinked, disbelief flashing across her face. “Well, obviously not!”

Jose gave them an awkward smile before retreating back inside. They stood there for a moment, stunned, then burst into soft, teary laughter—laughter that felt like a release.

Azzi stepped closer, taking a deep breath. “I’m so sorry, Paige. For everything. For leaving, for being a coward, for hurting you when you needed me the most.”

Paige felt her heart clench, tears still falling. She reached out, taking the necklace from Azzi’s trembling hands. “I didn’t think I’d ever see this,” she whispered, looking up into Azzi’s eyes. “You’ve always meant so much to me.” Azzi nodded, her eyes glistening. “I never stopped caring about you, Paige. I was just too scared to face it all.”

Without thinking, Paige stepped forward, closing the distance between them, and kissed Azzi softly. It was hesitant at first, but as Azzi kissed her back, the world around them faded. It was just them—two hearts finding their way back to each other, the weight of the past still there, but lighter somehow.

When they finally pulled away, both breathless, they lingered close, foreheads touching. “I want to be with you, Azzi,” Paige murmured, her voice thick with emotion. “I’ve always wanted that. I’m sorry I didn’t see your pain before.”

“I want that too. I want to try,” Azzi replied, her voice trembling with sincerity. “Whatever it takes, I promise to never leave you again.”

“Good, because I’ll be damned if I let you go again,” Paige whispered, a small smile breaking through the tears.

“Deal,” Azzi replied, grinning through her tears.

———-

Game day: UConn vs. Villanova

The next day, the gym buzzed with excitement as the team prepared for their game against Villanova. The atmosphere was electric, a mix of nerves and adrenaline. Paige and Azzi exchanged glances during warmup, a silent understanding passing between them.

As the game started, they fell into a rhythm, communicating effortlessly on the court. Azzi set a perfect screen for Paige, who cut to the basket, receiving a crisp pass that she finished with a layup. The crowd erupted, and for the first time in a long while, everything felt right.

The tension in the gym grew as Villanova pressed hard, trying to claw back into the game. Just when it seemed they might gain an edge, a player drove to the hoop, determined to score. But Azzi was ready.

“YEAH!” Paige yelled as she watched Azzi leap into the air, her timing impeccable. With a powerful swat, Azzi blocked the shot, sending the ball flying across the court. The crowd erupted into cheers, and Paige was right there, pumping her fists in the air. “That’s what I’m talking about!” she shouted, her voice filled with excitement.

Geno smiled from the sidelines, nodding in approval as the team rallied around Azzi. “That’s the energy we need!” he called out, clapping his hands together.

As the game progressed, the chemistry between Paige and Azzi shone through. With Nika assisting from the wing, they executed a flawless fast break, leading to another basket.

In the final moments of the game, with the score tied, Paige found herself with the ball. She dribbled, her heart racing as she spotted Azzi cutting toward the hoop. Without hesitation, she tossed the ball to Azzi, who caught it mid-air, spinning around her defender and sinking the shot just as the buzzer sounded.

The crowd erupted in cheers as their team celebrated the victory. Paige grabbed Azzi in a whirlwind of excitement, lifting her off the ground and spinning her around. “We did it!”

Azzi laughed, a sound of pure joy. “You’re crazy!” she yelled, her heart soaring.

As the team celebrated, they all gathered in a huddle, chanting and cheering.

———-

After the game, Instead of heading out with the team to celebrate, they quietly made their way to Azzi’s dorm, wanting to be alone together. Once inside, the door closed behind them, sealing off the noise of the world. The room felt cozy and intimate, filled with the lingering energy from the game. Azzi turned to Paige, her heart racing.

“Can you believe we won, I mean they were going really hard tonight?” Azzi said, her eyes sparkling.

“Of course I can, with the way we played I had no doubt, you were amazing Az,” Paige replied, her voice filled with enthusiasm. “But right now, I just want to be here with you. Just us.”

Azzi nodded, her heart warming at the thought. They settled onto the bed, surrounded by pillows and blankets. The weight of the past started to lift, and as they shared stories and laughter, everything felt right.

As the night deepened, Azzi began to drift off, her head resting comfortably on Paige’s chest. Paige gently stroked Azzi’s hair, feeling a wave of contentment wash over her. She thought Azzi was fast asleep when a sudden wave of love hit her like a tidal wave.

“I love you,” Paige whispered softly, her heart vulnerable and exposed. She thought the words would hang in the air, but in the stillness of the room, they felt like a promise.

“I love you too,” Azzi whispered back, her voice barely audible but filled with warmth.

Paige’s heart leaped at the sound, her eyes widening in disbelief. A smile broke out on her face, one so bright it could light up the room

Their smiles grew wider, the unbreakable bond between them solidifying in that moment. As they settled into each other, everything felt right, the past behind them and the future ahead filled with possibility.

———-

a/n: okay i’m sad now bye. oops forgot to tag my lovelies @thaatdigitaldiary @patscorner @imaginespazzi

[vinsmokesangio]

"are we on a date?"

pairing: tom blyth x bestfriend!reader x actress!reader

summary: you and tom met not long ago, but the connection you have and affection for each other turns into something more. tom is three years older than reader, she’s initiating in acting.

genre: only fluffy - at least for now

warnings: english is not my first language | no proofread.

N/A.: Hi! I really want to turn this into a series, but I need reader engagement to know if it’s worth it! Don't forget to comment, reblog, and tell me what you think <3 read my social media au here!

word count: 954

It was a cloudy and cold Friday, and you’re feeling completely tired. After several classes and auditions throughout the day, all you wanted was to be at home watching your favorite movies and rest with your comfy pajamas. Picking all of your stuff at the restroom to finally go home, your cellphone rings with a message from Tom, your best friend. Suddenly, there are some butterflies in your stomach… looks like the universe heard you.

It was a wonderful idea, right? Tom’s busy as hell since he got important roles and projects, and despite feeling really happy and proud of him, you miss him a lot and all of your quality times.

Something about the nickname gave you so much comfort and warmth in your heart. Tom was picking you up by car at your drama school in a couple minutes and you couldn't help but feel anxious in a good way.

"Hi pretty boy!" - you grinned while hugging him and putting on your seatbelt. 

Tom was wearing a gray sweater matching wonderfully with his pretty blue eyes. Smiling at you, he responded:

"I’ve missed you a lot, honey. How’s your day going by far?" - He said and headed on his way to the nearest coffee shop. 

"I’m just exhausted. We're in the final stretch of the Christmas play and I've never felt so tired. It’s like, I don't know, but my mind needs a break." - You sighed, staring in front of you, looking at the light traffic on the busy avenue.

"And I’m here to make your wish come true" - he chuckled. - "We can grab some coffee and watch silly memes on the internet like we used to do, whatcha think?" - Tom is always so gentle and lovely. 

Your friendship was really a very healthy, comfortable thing... and every time you saw each other, it was as if you never had any problems in the world. It was just you and him, inside jokes and comfort. You wished you could say how important he is to you, but instead, you simply nodded while you both entered on the drive thru and took your order. 

Tom parked the car at the coffee shop and you spent hours updating each other on your busy routines, laughing over tiktoks, singing... There were also moments of comfortable silence between the two of you, the calm you loved and needed so much. 

He looked different this time. You didn't know if it was because you hadn't seen each other for a while, but you could feel that something inside you and the way you looked at him was different. A few sparks every time he smiled at you, and you swore you could feel the same coming from him too.

Her cell phone rings, breaking her out of her reverie, showing a call from your mother. You realize that you forgot to tell her that you would be coming home later today, but all you had to do was tell her that you were with Tom and her worry would disappear. She loved him. Sometimes it seemed like she loved him even more than you, her own daughter.

“Enjoy your date tho”, your mother said cheerfully on the other side of the line. You couldn't help but chuckle and feel your cheeks burn, as you looked at your friend who had a confused expression on his face. Before you could answer, she hangs up the phone.

"What does she said? Why were you laughing?" - Tom asked with a funny expression while taking a sip of your already watery iced coffee.

"It’s nothing! Curious boy." - you poke him.

"I don’t believe you. But I know you enough to know that one day, when you least expect it, you'll tell me like it's no big deal." - He teased as he pointed at you between each word.

"I want to show you a video that I forgot to send you." - you tried to change the direction of the conversation, wanting to avoid confessions that might come out too soon. Your mother was always right, and it made you wonder if you were actually on a date with Tom. 

After a burst of laughter, you find yourself in a awkward silence trying to catch your breath. “It’s time”, you thought.

“Enjoy your date”, my mom said at the phone. - you finally confess, avoiding his gaze.

Tom looks at you with a surprised, but fun and provocative expression:

"So… are we on a date? Kinda looks like one to me." 

You can't hide your smile mixed with an expression of surprise and doubt. It's really impressive how Tom always found it easy to confess things, to be direct, but his goofy personality - which you loved - always confused you about whether he was being serious or not.

"I wouldn't mind if we actually were in one." - You said in almost a whisper, but he clearly listened.

Finally you find the courage to look into his eyes, and notice his calm smile looking into yours with admiration and affection.

"I thought you would never say that. You're a bit slow to even ask me on a date, frankly, buttercup!" - He scowled at you, making you laugh nervously. You're so lost in his "confession" that you can't even notice his hands on your thighs.

The comfortable silence that existed between the two of you suddenly became a little awkward. You take a deep breath, and slowly lean over him to join your lips in a calm kiss, with all the accumulated affection. He reciprocates by taking one of his hands to your face and stroking your hair with the other.

If there was any doubt about his feelings towards you before, it disappeared at that moment.

[amiableness]

Threads ; part one

Pairing: Sirius Black x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 2.4k

Warnings: Language, angst, anxiety? Let me know if there's more!

A/N 💌 Part one is finally here, thank you for all being so patient with me and I promise the future parts will be better!

Interaction keeps me motivated to write, so I would love to hear your thoughts!

Series Masterlist!

The Great Hall is thrumming with activity as the anticipation of the new school year sets in. 

Sunlight pours through the windows, casting a warm, golden hue onto the tables and cold walls. The clinking of cutlery melds with the lively chatter and bursts of laughter that permeate the hall. Students eagerly catch up with their friends after the summer break, their faces illuminated with excitement and anticipation for the year ahead.

"I don’t know if I’m quite ready for this year." You admit softly. Lily, seated to your left, casts a surprised glance in your direction. Your tone carries a hint of nervousness, a stark difference from your usual excitement for the new school year.

As seventh year begins, the reality of it all felt surreal, almost as if time had slipped through your fingers without warning. Contemplating life beyond Hogwarts seemed daunting, a foggy landscape you weren't quite prepared to navigate. The thought of a future without the familiar halls and comforting routines left you feeling unsettled. Questions about your path post-Hogwarts lingered causing anxiety to tighten in your stomach. The uncertainty of what lay ahead, and where your friendships would stand in the grand scheme of things, clouded your mind.

"Because this is the year you find your soulmate?" Marlene's question hung in the air, causing your stomach to sink even further.

Soulmates were tethered by a thread, an intangible connection that tightens with proximity, drawing them closer by an irresistible pull. As their 18th birthday approached, the magnetic pull between soulmates intensified, drawing them closer together in an undeniable bond. 

Even in their younger years, soulmates could sense the faint tug of their connection, though it often was difficult to discern between fleeting infatuation and the unbreakable bond between soulmates. However, as the milestone birthday drew nearer, the pull became unmistakable, a magnetic force guiding them to their soulmate. 

At least, that's what you've heard from those who have experienced it firsthand.

“I don’t know if I’m ready for that.” You confirm, and Lily sends you an understanding look. Neither of you had found your soulmates, while Marlene had found her soulmate in Dorcas.

The timing of finding one's soulmate varied greatly from person to person. Some discovered theirs early on in life, while others didn't find theirs until mere days before their 18th birthday. It all depended on the person and how open they were to the connection.

"We'll be going through it together." Lily says, her smile soft as she bumped her shoulder against yours. It did offer some comfort. Lily Evans had been your best friend since first year, and the thought of her being by your side made the upcoming year feel a bit more bearable.

"What if James is your soulmate?" You ask, your tone laced with playful teasing. However, Lily's hopeful expression catches you off guard, prompting you to shift your gaze towards Marlene in shock. Across the table, Marlene and Dorcas appear just as taken aback by Lily's unexpected reaction. It's a stark contrast from the adamant denials she would have offered last year.

"Maybe he is." Lily says quietly, her tone nonchalant as she offers a simple shrug, as if what she just said isn't a big deal.

“Are you..When did this happen?” Dorcas asks, and you and Marlene eye Lily curiously.

Since the moment you met him, Lily had been skillfully evading James's advances, urging him to seek out his true soulmate rather than pursuing her. Despite Lily's dismissals, James remained steadfast in his belief that she was the one destined for him. Deep down, you sensed a potential soulmate connection between them, but you never brought up the subject with Lily, knowing she would vehemently deny the idea.

Lily looks up with feigned innocence, “What?”

Marlene sighs, “Lily Evans, don’t you dare play dumb. When did your feelings towards James change?” 

"I don’t know. Over the summer, I guess, I realized I’ve been a bit unfair to him," She sighs. "He’s been nothing but kind, and I’ve just blown him off. And honestly, he was on my mind most of the summer."

"Merlin, we've barely been here for two hours, and the soulmate bonds are already starting." Marlene grins, amused.

"I didn't say I thought he was mine!" Lily cries out.

"You said maybe. That heavily implies that you do." You chuckle at the panicked look on Lily’s face, fully aware that she's going to be teased about this relentlessly.

"Have you felt a pull with him?" Dorcas asks, and Lily's cheeks flush with a delicate shade of pink.

“I mean, yes. But couldn’t that just be the annoyance I feel towards him half the time?” Lily asks.

"With that logic, you and Sirius are soulmates." Marlene interjects, her grin mischievous as she takes a sip of her tea, her gaze fixed on you over the brim of her mug. Your expression sours at the mere mention of his name, a subtle shift in mood palpable in the air.

“There is no way that Sirius Black is my soulmate.” You snark, the mere thought of Sirius causing your stomach to knot with intense emotion. Hatred, you conclude.

It's the mere mention of Sirius Black that tends to stir up the worst in you. His name alone triggers a cascade of emotions within you, igniting a visceral reaction that you struggle to contain. Just the thought of him is enough to set your nerves on edge, reminding you of past conflicts and tensions that still linger beneath the surface.

It's not as though you hadn't attempted to be friendly with Sirius. Shortly after your arrival at Hogwarts, James Potter had introduced himself to you and Lily in the Gryffindor common room. He was accompanied by Remus, and while James eagerly engaged Lily in conversation, you found yourself drawn to Remus, the two of you hitting it off. You chatted for what felt like hours, so engrossed in your conversation that you barely noticed Sirius and Peter entering the common room.

However, the moment your eyes landed on Sirius, it felt as though the air had been knocked out of your lungs. For a brief second you had wondered if he was your soulmate. Everything blurred into a hazy backdrop, your eyes unable to part from his figure.

Remus didn’t miss the way you seemed to drift away from the conversation, your gaze fixed on Sirius as he made his way over to where you all were seated. You and Remus occupied the couch, while Lily and James were comfortable in their own armchairs. Sirius and Peter hovered nearby, a curious expression etched across their features, clearly unsure who the two unfamiliar girls engaged in conversation with their friends were.

Remus had introduced you while James and Lily remained preoccupied, not yet noticing the two boys, "Mates, this is Y/n," Remus had said, his warm smile welcoming.

Peter had been friendly and eager, extending his hand with enthusiasm as he shared a bit about himself. But Sirius remained silent, his expression etched with a subtle frown. When you attempted to engage him in conversation, he responded with curt one-word answers, leaving you feeling increasingly self-conscious, questioning what you might have done wrong.

Remus had assured you that Sirius wasn't usually like that, and he promised that the next time you saw him, he would likely be more talkative and outgoing. You clung to hope, eagerly anticipating a change in Sirius' demeanor, only to be met with disappointment when his behavior remained unchanged. In the company of others, he exuded friendliness, cracking jokes and radiating outgoing energy. 

Yet, when his attention turned to you, he completely shifted, hardly communicating and barely sparing you a glance.

You couldn't figure out what you might have done wrong. From the moment you met Sirius, you had been nothing but friendly, offering a warm smile and introducing yourself with genuine enthusiasm. Lily, who shared many similarities with you, greeted Sirius in much the same manner, yet he responded to her without hesitation. It left you wondering: what had been so different about your interaction with him?

Over time, frustration crept in, and you found yourself growing increasingly sarcastic or curt in your interactions with him. Before long, your relationship devolved into incessant bickering and exchanging snide comments.

Any inkling that Sirius might be your soulmate was swiftly forgotten.

"Oi! Princess! You talking about me over there?" Sirius' voice cuts through the chatter, drawing your attention to the Marauders down the table. His cocky smirk meets your gaze, and for a fleeting moment, you wonder if he overheard your conversation. But he's too far away to have eavesdropped, yet close enough to call out to you, and his voice effortlessly grabs the attention of quite a few other students at the Gryffindor table. 

The students in your year hardly flinch, accustomed to the heated banter that often erupted between you and Sirius. Observing the familiar fighting between you and Sirius was almost expected; it wouldn't have felt like the first day of school without it for some of the students.

“Not everything revolves around you, Black.” You retort, rolling your eyes at his arrogance. Anger begins to simmer within you, heat radiating through your body as frustration builds.

You assume he must have just noticed you, considering you've been had a peaceful morning so far. But little did you know, Sirius had fixed his gaze on you the moment he entered the hall, and he's been eager to get under your skin. Anything to capture your attention.

Sirius, undeterred, flashes a grin that seems to stretch from ear to ear. “So mean already. Didn’t you miss me? The months without you were unbearable.” He calls, his tone dripping with amusement, clearly deriving great enjoyment from riling you up.

“Do you really think I spend my free time thinking about you?” You're sending him an irritated frown, but your eyes are lit up with a fire that's reserved only for him. It's the same look you get every time the two of you fight, and he loves it.

"I think you do, princess. I think I drive you crazy.” He declares with that smug grin plastered on his face, igniting a burning sensation in your stomach.

You remain silent, too consumed by anger to muster a response. His words strike a chord because, deep down, you know he's right. He has a way of driving you to the brink of frustration. You have wracked your brain, relentlessly trying to decipher why he harbors such animosity towards you and where you might have gone wrong with him.

You're momentarily caught off guard, your mind racing to come up with a response that doesn't betray your irritation, much less let Sirius think he's gotten to you. Fortunately, Remus swiftly engages him in conversation, likely sensing the tension brewing on your face.

"I'm telling you, there's a connection there." Marlene insists, and you shoot her a glare, prompting a laugh to escape her lips.

.·。.·゜✭·.·✫·゜·。.

The initial night back at Hogwarts always proved the most challenging for you. It took a few nights before you could finally settle into the unfamiliar bed and drift off to sleep without difficulty. The weight of it being your final year lingered heavily in your mind, along with the daunting task of uncovering your soulmate.

Seated before the crackling fire, you enveloped yourself in the warmth of your blanket, captivated by the dancing of the flames. Your silent wish lingered in the air - that, perhaps, if you remained in this cozy atmosphere long enough, fatigue would gradually claim you.

"Up late thinking of me, princess?" Sirius's voice breaks the silence, causing your body to tense reflexively. You shoot him a glare over your shoulder as he settles into the floor beside you, his gaze fixed on the flickering flames instead of meeting yours.

"What are you doing?" You quip, your tone laced with irritation. Sirius glances in your direction, leaning back on his palms with a subtle smirk playing on his lips. Amusement dances in his eyes as he takes in your furrowed brows and the unmistakable look of irritation etched across your features.

“Warming up. It’s rather cold in the dorm,” He says, before glancing down at the blanket that’s wrapped around your figure. “Care to share? ”

“Get fucked,” You huff, pulling the blanket tighter around your figure, your gaze fixed on the fireplace as you ignore Sirius's laughter, “Why are you sitting here? Go somewhere else.”

“Where’s the fun in that?”

“I’m not in the mood to deal with you.” You snark, your hopes of relaxing by the fire dashed by the unexpected disruption.

“And when are you?” Sirius's tone carries a teasing edge, and a mischievous grin tugs at his lips as he observes your bristling reaction. 

He longs for you to turn and meet his gaze, to shoot him the scathing glare he's so accustomed to receiving.

You turn sharply, your eyes narrowing into thin slits as you fix them on Sirius, a silent warning brewing in your gaze. There she is, he thinks.

“Go somewhere else.” You repeat, staring Sirius down.

“No.” He declares, shifting his position to squarely face you, leaving no doubt that he has no intention of backing down or leaving anytime soon.

“What’s your problem?” You grit out your words, and Sirius narrows his eyes at you as though you've struck a nerve. His reaction is swift, catching you off guard. While you and Sirius have always engaged in banter, he had never looked at you with such palpable hatred before.

“You.” He snaps, his voice dripping with disdain, devoid of its usual teasing lilt that never fails to irk you. Instead, his expression morphs into one of genuine animosity, a stark departure from the usual banter that fuels your frustration.

“Why? What have I ever done to you?” You're worked up now, your heart thumping with frustration as you pivot to fully face him. In your angered state, you miscalculate the proximity between you, and you're startled to find yourselves mere inches apart. Neither of you budges, both refusing to back away, as doing so would feel like conceding defeat.

Neither of you speaks, the air heavy with tension as you stare at each other through narrowed eyes, chests heaving with unresolved emotions. And in a heart-stopping moment, you feel it—the undeniable tug, the unspoken connection between you.

Your mouth parts in surprise, caught off guard by the intensity of the moment. Before you can truly react, Sirius rises abruptly and strides back to his room, leaving you sitting in stunned silence by the fireplace.

TAGS: @daisiesformylove @idkbbyx3 @dreamingofmarauders @siriuslyjanhvi @urmomw4ntsme @arwensloanebarnes @harahettania @kitchenbread @ghostheartbeat @dovahqueen22 @y0urm0m12 @thebiggestnaturaldisaster @opalesquegirl @galaxystern08 @scvtdy @123iloveyou456

[water-to-drink]

So this is Life on the Outside

(Pairing): yan!Zhongli x sheltered!gn!reader

(Summary): After spending many years sheltered from the outside world you take your first steps into unfamiliar territory and meet someone who seems to be trustworthy

(Warnings): NSFW, death (not reader’s or Zhongli), reader is very naive (and Zhongli takes advantage of that), dub-con, praise kink, rough sex (at the end though), overstimulation (at the end too)

(A/n): I’m fucking sick with a cold and it fucking sucks, so I wrote this to try to focus on something other than my cold, btw this is my second smut fic, (and let me know if there’s any gendered language here)

꒷꒦˚︶︶꒦꒷︶꒷꒦˚꒷꒦˚︶꒦꒷ ♡ ꒷꒦︶˚꒦꒷˚꒦꒷︶꒷꒦︶︶˚ ꒦꒷

The world was a big scary place, that notion was thrilled into your head for as long as you can remember

You only knew someone personally and it was your Nana. She was the only person you had in this world and it appears it was the same for her

She would tell you that people were not to trusted and that you’ll only get hurt in the end, because of this you rarely went outside and didn’t question it. Being the only person you truly had a connection it was absolutely devastating when she died, leaving you alone

When you had to fend for yourself which meant going outside and you were dumbfounded when it wasn’t the hellscape she described. You walked to the marketplace taking in the sights you’ve been denied from seeing. After reaching your destination you realized how much you didn’t know. You didn’t know how money works nor where it came from

Dejected you decided to cut your loses until a strong hand rested on your shoulder

“Excuse me, but would you like for me to help you?”

You turned your head and saw a much older man with brown hair and golden eyes. He looked friendly enough so you accepted. You learned that his name is Zhongli and works at a funeral parlor, whatever that is

He offered you a meal at a restaurant, which you gladly accepted. The restaurant had food you never heard of before and they had so many options, it all overwhelmed you.

“Mr. Zhongli what should I get?

“I usually get the bamboo shoot soup, is that what you’re going to order?”

“Yep, you look very smart so I can trust you!” You said, your naivety showing through

As the day went on you told Zhongli about your life and there was something that showed up in his eyes that your innocent nature couldn’t decipher

After the meal was over he walked you home on the excuse of there being “dangerous people out at night and he’s someone you can trust.” You missed the hungry stares he would throw at you, especially towards your thighs and waist

“Thank you for walking me home, goodnight Mr. Zhongli.”

“You almost forgot something.”

“What is it?”

“A kiss, it’s customary to give one to people you’re close to. You don’t want to come off as rude, do you?”

You quickly gave him a kiss on the cheek, the same one you would give to Nana, it was meant to be friendly. And you didn’t want to disappoint Mr. Zhongli, and he seemed to be satisfied with your kiss

“Have a goodnight.” He smiled

꒷꒦˚︶︶꒦꒷︶꒷꒦˚꒷꒦˚︶꒦꒷ ♡ ꒷꒦︶˚꒦꒷˚꒦꒷︶꒷꒦︶︶˚ ꒦꒷

The two of you were close after that. Zhongli would accompany you on strolls around Liyue harbor and tell you the history of it.

Nana told you to stay far away from older people, men especially. She always said they can’t be trusted but never told you why, but Mr. Zhongli is different

He always makes sure you get the best deals on items, he helps you carry your groceries to your house, you trust him completely

You trust him so much that you didn’t bat an eye when he offers for you to stay with him and sleep in his bed with him, there’s nothing wrong with sharing a bed with him, right?

He’s so sweet and smart too, he tells you everything he knows about Liyue’s history. He even shows you priceless artifacts he has, you love how smart he is and how he teaches you things other than history

“Like this?” You held your legs open just as you were instructed

“Yes, like that.” He said as he pressed his cock against your hole

The feeling of him entering your walls felt foreign. Halfway in and it almost felt it was to much for you, but he told you it will eventually start to feel good. He finally fully sheathed his cock all the way in your gummy walls. After a while the stretch soon started to feel good, just like he said

“Your doing so well.” He praised as he wiped tears you didn’t know were there. “I’m going to start moving, is that okay?”

You nodded and he slowly began thrusting, the small mewls and whimpers grew into moans as his pace quickened

Zhongli took your left leg from your grip and threw in over his shoulder, getting deeper than before. You looked up at his concentrated face, like he was looking for somethi-

“Nnhhggg!”

A grin appears on the man’s face, he grabs your waist with both hands and starts to abuse that sweet spot

Archons, it felt so good~! Your eyes rolls to the back of your head and your tongue was out of your mouth

“You look you adorable all fucked out like this.” Zhongli’s words of praise went straight to your core, tightening around his cock. “You love it when I praise you, huh angel?”

You weakly nodded, your functions too muddled to form proper words. Too focused on the feeling of his cock dragging through your wall, you didn’t notice how his thrust became more sloppier

Zhongli reached down and captured your mouth in a heated kiss all the while thrusting into you with such fervor, you feel yourself on the verge of passing out

“That’s it, angel. Take my cock just how I taught you!” He said into your ear

With a few more thrust you came with a loud moan. As you fell limp Zhongli thrusted wildly completely disregarding any semblance of control how you lay limp. After a couple of harsh thrusts the man finishes deep inside you

A sigh let out of his lungs as he stood straight to admire you

Legs twitching from oversimulation, your entrance stuffed full with both his cock and cum, and you fucked out expression

He can feel his cock getting hard again, you seem to be coherent enough to go another round

[plutonianeris]

a message from 13 year old you ‧₊˚✩彡 [letter] 💓🍬

this is a general reading. take what resonates and leave what doesn't. scroll through the images & choose based on your inner guidance and gut feeling. ⛓️ *･῾ ᵎ⌇ ⁺◦ if you feel guided to: tip jar💘 ✧.*

Pile one ‧₊˚✩彡

"what did I tell you? I always knew it would work out in the end. I was always knew the pain wasn't going to last forever. It hurt to be treated that way by the people closest to me, especially the women in my life. there was always so much confusion growing up. people would say pretty things but there body language would show something else. I felt caged in my connections. But I always had some faith. I always had a feeling that the universe was watching out for me... for us. that it was sending us signs. that eventually I would be able to enjoy life to the fullest without feeling guilty for it. without feeling like I had to compare myself to the versions of me that they wanted me to be. I hope you know now that those versions don't exist. that we weren't born to be dolls for other people to dress up and control and shove words and opinions in their mouth and to gargle and spit back up. I doubted my intellgience so much.. underestimated my creativity. but looking at you now.. looking at us... I feel so proud. dont forget about me please! I always believed in you. even on those days where you couldnt stand to look in the mirror. I was on your side this whole time, its just that sometimes you werent listening. But now looking at you, you are everything I ever wanted to be. Im so glad I didnt give up. You deserve it all. the world. your dreams. im rooting for you. heres to more blessings and abundance."

Pile two ‧₊˚✩彡

"remember the way everyone would make fun of us for the weird things we did? Our odd expressions and the questions we asked and how we laughed out loud and our desire to see the world. how it always labeled as silly. I know it had made us dull our self expression for a little while. How we forced ourselves to shrink down, to fake laugh to the mean comments, or "oh this? not a big deal" or "its not that good.." so many of those... just to blend in better with our friends and family at the time. to make them like us. to see if that would make them stop criticizing so damn much. I hope we no longer are letting comments like that slide. I hope we dress like the way we always wanted to in our head but were to afraid to wear out. I hope we didn't let the world extinguish our playful nature. life felt like heartbreak after another. what do you know about love? youre just a kid. they deformed the way we saw it for a long time. but not anymore. It makes me emotional.. the way you never let go my hand. and how you always carried me along with you in your heart. Of course, now you call me your inner child. Or I guess inner teen. Ha, inner tween. Thank you for always being my friend. I see now that you are always what I was meant to be. Out of all the stars in the sky, we shine the brightest, you and me."

Pile three ‧₊˚✩彡

"you are so beautiful... wow we really are so different now. But I still see hints of me in you. in your smirk and your mischievous laugh and in your questioning glances and sharp stare when someone gets a little bit too close to our personal space. I admire the way your presence can make someone nervously glance away. I use to feel so powerless.. so many things I did to try to gain some control, even if it meant hurting myself and pushing away the people I love. I love how vulnerable you are. I really did see it as a weakness but looking at you now, it makes me realize how brave you are. of putting yourself out there despite the uncertainty. of taking that chance even if could end up badly. even if you could end up with a broken heart it seems like you no longer find sastification in staying in the darkness. I understand, its.. well, lonely... being alone. Do you think you could take me with you? That part of you... that is still afraid. do you think you could tell me? tell me that I am not broken or incomplete that there is nothing wrong with me. that I am not the worst thing that has ever happened to me or will happen to me. Reassure me? Tell me that some things we have to do even when we are afraid. that its terrifying and nerve wracking and makes our palms sweat. but then once we do it, it's glorious, it's liberating, it's everything we have ever dreamed of and more. I see it now. Take me with you. Do you see me? I see you. The way you look at the world and want to devour it. I see you now, with a crown atop your head. how you wear it so gracefully..."

Pile four ‧₊˚✩彡

"So many times.... I was so close to giving up. to listening to that little voice in my head that kept telling me over and over again that there was no point. that the feeling and the ache in my chest would last forever. that it was always going to be me versus the world. me versus me. that everything around me would always be dull and gray and that I would always be blue. I doubted my self-worth so much. It was practically non-existent. I still do in some ways now when I pop up and invalidate the way you feel, shrugging my shoulders wondering if maybe we are actually deserving of this happiness... of this success. it feels foreign. like its not really mine.. well, ours. We're not in a really good situation right now and my parents are trying to hide things from me that im just too big now to pretend not to notice. they don't make me feel that protected anymore. and that hurts me a lot. whose gonna take care of me now? Im so glad youre here now. Im so glad we got to grow up and that we survived. and im so glad that now that we survive we can actually live. Thank you for reminding that we can let go now. that theres no room for a pity party anymore. thank you for letting me know that your'e not going to leave me behind. thank you for keeping my memory alive. thank you for looking back at me with kind and loving eyes. but most of all, thank you for fighting for me. I know I can easily lie and say "everything is fine" but thank you for showing me that it eventually it is. thank you proving to me that eventually I will say its fine. its okay. its great even. and that I, that we, actually mean it."

© plutonianeris

[astropookie]

astro FACTS ‼️

(it was “astro thoughts” but I wanted to change)

it turned into a persona chart observations💋

Loika

Moon in your IC persona chart tells your childhood summary.

pls this is too accurate 😭. my moon is square mercury, this aspects tells me directly I have problems with my memory, that I don’t remember my childhood or I don’t have clarity about it. also that I could often lie to get on my way, too accurate. moon 9H tells me I was really imaginative, divagating about topics and questioning or being curious about how things worked. I was always in my world questioning why this and that and bringing in my head “what if?” scenarios. moon in cancer tells me I was more comfortable and secure in my house, specially with my mom. female roles could have been significant, this evidence also this person felt incredibly connected with their mom, it could turned into an unhealthy habit. I felt what my mom felt, I had the need of taking care of her instead and I did. sadly, people with moon in cancer in IC pc possibly had to be the mom to their mom and now they have a savior complex :( I’m so sorry if that happened to you. it’s reflected in every relationship, you need to heal your inner child in order to break that pattern. in my case, I’m trying and that’s recognizable.

Sag on 3H on Lilith pc be saying the most traumatic shit they have experienced and then laughing like’s not a big deal.

Moon opposition Venus on natal chart fcking needs or searchs for love in a profound manner.

they’re emos that write melancholic poetry and don’t like partying and stuff -not saying they have never been-, they prefer to be selective with their partners and don’t give second chances and if they do it’s because of “vibes” 🕺 they need love but it’s really hard to find someone like them that will sacrifice for others as they’ll do with them.

People with 6 house stellium/virgo placements feel more comfortable with animals than to be with people.

they spended more time with animals than with people on their childhood. they love animals, they’re not complex and irritating as people 🙄 later they could have regrets about their relationship with animals before realizing how important they’re. like megumi from jjk -appeared in my mind-.

Saturn 1H moon persona chart feels restricted to be theirselves.

it’s so frustrating, since childhood these people have had a fear of rejection. they have had even controlled the way they breath to not bother others. they hated themselves for being themselves and they’ve suffered so much bc of the critics. they’ve tried so hard to be someone they’re not, they’ve tried to controlled it and they couldn’t. they’ve suffered in silence about their identity and how insufficient they’ve felt. Saturn in moon pc evidences what difficulties exists in their emotional life and where they need to grow and mature. later, they’ll be proud about themselves and how far they’ve become.

Jupiter on scorpio 12 house on Venus pc run away from themselves.

—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•

❀ Based on my personal experience and what I’ve analyzed in my surroundings.

❀ English is not my first language.

❀ I’m not a profesional astrologer.

Thank youu. baibaiii🫣🫶🏼💋

Do not copy. Please give me credits.

[mysticinsightstarot]

🫠PAC : RELATIONSHIP DYANMIC WITH CELEBRITY CRUSH 🫠

✨ Celebrity Crush Pick-a-Card Reading ✨

Hey, beautiful souls! 💫 Are you ready to find out what would happen if you and your celebrity crush got together romantically? 😍💕 Take a moment, center yourself, and let your intuition guide you. Below are 4 magical piles, each containing a unique message about your potential relationship! 💌✨

💫 How to Choose:

Focus on your celebrity crush.

Look at the four piles below.

Pick the one you're most drawn to—trust your gut! 💖

🛑 Quick Disclaimer: This reading is just for fun! 😉 While it might reflect your feelings and dreams, take it lightly and remember you control your destiny! 🌈🌟

Happy choosing! Scroll down once you’ve made your selection. 🎉

Pile 1 > Pile 2

Pile 3 > Pile 4

◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇

✨Pile 1: What would your relationship with your celebrity crush be like if it turned romantic?✨

Heyyyyy, lovelies! 💕 You picked Pile 1, huh? Ooooh, buckle up because we’ve got some JUICY insights for you! This spread is giving ALL the vibes! Let’s dive in headfirst and see what this dream relationship would be like if you and your celeb crush started dating! 👀💫

How They See You: 2 of Swords & Ace of Swords OKAY, first things first! Your celeb crush sees you as someone mysterious, like… hello?! 😍 You're not someone they can read easily (the mystique is REAL), but the Ace of Swords tells me they absolutely love this about you!! 🗡️💡 It’s like you’re this puzzle they can’t wait to figure out, and let’s just say—they're dying to get to the truth of who you are. They think you’re sharp, witty, and someone who can really cut through all the fluff with those big-brain thoughts! 💭✨ Basically, you’re out here giving main character energy!

Your Emotional Connection: 7 of Cups Whewww, dreamy much?! 🌙💭 With the 7 of Cups, your emotional connection is like a fairy tale on steroids! It’s giving fantasy vibes. This relationship is the one where both of you are just constantly daydreaming about each other, like head-in-the-clouds kind of connection. The emotional bond might sometimes feel a bit overwhelming, though, because you’re BOTH thinking: “Is this too good to be true?” 🙃 (Spoiler: NO, IT'S NOT!!)

Physical Chemistry: Knight of Cups, Queen of Cups, King of Cups (OMG triple cups! 🏆) HELLO, is this a romance novel?! 🌹 Because THIS is straight-up poetic, cinematic, swoon-worthy love!! 😭💕 The Knight of Cups is your crush rolling in with ALL the flirty energy, sending you cute texts, planning candlelight dinners, and generally making your heart melt. Meanwhile, the Queen and King of Cups? You two are so emotionally in sync that it’s basically like you have a secret language. 🫶 It’s intense, passionate, and makes you feel like you’ve met your perfect match—soulmate vibes for real! 🔥👑

Challenges: 4 of Wands & 5 of Wands Uh-oh… time for some drama! 😅 The 4 of Wands means you’re BOTH dying to have a stable, happy relationship (I mean, HELLO, wedding bells much? 💍🎉), but with the 5 of Wands here, some outside conflicts might come into play. 👀 Maybe it’s the paparazzi, maybe it’s the pressure of being in the public eye (celebrity probs), or even some internal clashing. Expect a few heated debates but don't worry—this isn't a deal-breaker. You’ve got this!

How You’ll Overcome Challenges: 7 of Pentacles Patience is the name of the game here, darling! 🕰️💪 You both know good things take time, and you’re willing to invest in each other. Slow and steady wins the race, am I right? It’s all about nurturing the relationship and letting it grow at its own pace. 🌱✨ The foundation you're building is strong—so, even if things get rocky, you'll both be in it for the long haul. 🔥

Long-Term Potential: Justice & Wheel of Fortune WOW, just WOW. Major Arcana energy alert!! 🚨 This relationship is all about karma and divine timing, baby! ⚖️🌀 Justice says that you two are balancing each other out perfectly—you’re equals, and you bring fairness and harmony into each other’s lives. Wheel of Fortune is like “The Universe has definitely got your back.” You two coming together is a fated, destined event, and this connection is going to take you on the ride of your life! 🎢💫

Advice from the Universe: Fool, 9 of Wands, Magician Okay, babe, Universe is like: “Take that leap of faith!” 🐾✨ The Fool is all about starting this journey with an open heart, no matter what people say. Just go for it! The 9 of Wands warns you to stay resilient, though. Yes, you might feel tired or drained at times, but with the Magician here, YOU HAVE ALL THE TOOLS to manifest this relationship and make it magical! 🧙‍♀️💖 So, no matter what, keep pushing forward because you’re gonna create something incredible together!

Bottom of the Deck Energy: Hanged Man Ooooh, underlying energy vibes! 🌀 The Hanged Man is telling me that this connection is gonna make you see things from a whole new perspective. 🌍✨ You’ll feel like your whole world’s been flipped upside down in the best way possible. There’s a lesson in surrendering to the flow of this relationship—let it unfold naturally, and trust that the universe is working its magic. 💫

Summary: Your relationship with your celeb crush? It’s dreamy, passionate, and full of those heart-fluttering moments! 💕 Yes, there are challenges (uh, life isn’t a K-drama… or is it? 👀), but with patience, trust, and FAITH in the universe, you’re gonna build something truly beautiful. 🎇 It’s all about balance, growth, and letting things unfold as they should. ✨

Now, go ahead and start daydreaming about those celebrity kisses! 💋🥰

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✨ Pile 2: What would your relationship with your celebrity crush be like if it turned romantic? ✨

OMG, Pile 2 crew! Buckle up, because this spread is coming in HOT 🔥 with a mix of spicy and deep vibes. We’ve got everything from soul connections to some serious lessons in love. Let’s get into it! 💕👑

How They See You: Queen of Pentacles & 7 of Cups HELLOOO QUEEN!! 👑✨ Your celeb crush sees you as that ultimate wifey material, baby. You’ve got that nurturing, grounded, “I can take care of myself and everyone else” energy, and they’re in awe of your independence and strength. 💪 But with the 7 of Cups, they’re also a bit overwhelmed, like you’ve got so much going on they don't even know where to start. 😍 You’re like a fantasy come to life, but also a bit of a mystery—they’re daydreaming about you ALL THE TIME, imagining what life with you could be like. 🌟✨

Your Emotional Connection: Knight of Wands, 2 of Cups, 10 of Pentacles OKAY, Pile 2, this emotional connection is fire AND stability all rolled into one! 🔥 The Knight of Wands means this relationship would have a lot of excitement and passion (think whirlwind romance vibes 🌪️). But wait—2 of Cups says it’s soulmate central, baby! 🥰 You’re connecting on a deep emotional level, sharing your hearts, and forming a bond that feels like it was meant to be. The 10 of Pentacles? Helloooo, this is giving long-term, “build a life together,” “grow old with me” energy! 🏡💍 Your emotional connection is like riding a wild wave straight into a future of stability and abundance. YASSS!

Physical Chemistry: 7 of Pentacles This relationship isn’t going to be instant fireworks in the physical department, but OMG it’s going to grow into something amazing over time. 🌱✨ The 7 of Pentacles is all about taking things slow, nurturing the connection, and watching it blossom. You’re in this for the long haul, so think slow-burn chemistry that just keeps getting hotter and hotter. 🔥🔥 Trust the process, and watch the magic happen!

Challenges: Knight of Cups, 4 of Swords, 8 of Cups, 6 of Pentacles, 6 of Cups Whew, we’ve got a lot to unpack here! 😅 The Knight of Cups and 4 of Swords tell me that one of you might be a bit of a dreamer, always chasing that next romantic high, while the other is looking for some downtime or needing emotional rest. 💤💔 The 8 of Cups suggests there could be moments where one of you feels like walking away, especially when things get overwhelming. 😕 BUT WAIT—the 6 of Pentacles and 6 of Cups say that deep down, this connection is about giving and receiving love equally and has strong roots in a past-life connection. 🌌 So the challenge is all about balancing the emotional highs and lows and remembering the depth of the bond you share. 💖

How You’ll Overcome Challenges: 3 of Pentacles & Wheel of Fortune Teamwork makes the dream work, baby!! 💪✨ The 3 of Pentacles says that you’re going to work together to build this relationship, brick by brick. You’re putting in the effort, and so are they. 🧱 With the Wheel of Fortune here, it’s all about timing. 🕰️ The universe is spinning in your favor, but you’ve got to trust the ups and downs. Things may get tricky, but trust me, you’re both in it for the long haul! 🎢💞

Long-Term Potential: 3 of Swords Uh-oh! 😬 Okay, let’s not panic… but the 3 of Swords suggests there could be some heartbreak involved in this connection. 😢 It’s not all sunshine and rainbows (sorry, babes), but sometimes relationships come with pain and important lessons. This card doesn’t mean the relationship will end, but it does hint at some emotional trials. 😔 Will it be worth it? That’s where the deeper work comes in…

Advice from the Universe: 10 of Swords, Judgment, Hermit Ooooof, the advice here is pretty intense! 😳 The 10 of Swords says there might be a moment where you feel like everything is over (ouch!), but fear not! Judgment is here to tell you that this relationship will bring MASSIVE growth and awakenings. 🌟✨ You’ll have to face your past wounds, but on the other side of that? Freedom! And the Hermit says it’s OK to take some alone time to reflect and figure out what you really want from this relationship. 🧘‍♀️💭 Don’t rush it—let yourself grow and learn.

Bottom of the Deck Energy: The World AWWWW! 🌍✨ Despite all the challenges, this relationship is here to bring you closure and a sense of completion. You’re going to experience a FULL CIRCLE moment, baby! This relationship will teach you so much, and you’ll come out of it feeling whole and ready for whatever’s next. 💖 Whether it lasts forever or not, it’s an important chapter in your life that will leave you stronger and wiser. 🙌

Summary: Pile 2, your relationship with your celeb crush would be a whirlwind of emotions, growth, and life lessons! 🌪️💖 You’d be building something real and long-lasting, but not without a few bumps along the way. The chemistry is a slow burn that’ll heat up over time, and while challenges may arise, you’ll both be working hard to make it work. 🧱✨ In the end, this relationship will be transformative, bringing both joy and important life lessons.

Ready for that rollercoaster of love?! 🎢💕

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✨ Pile 3: Your Romantic Journey with Your Celebrity Crush ✨

OMG Pile 3 babes, WOW. This spread is absolutely glowing with potential and power moves! Get ready to dive into a relationship that’s got it all—love, growth, commitment, and a sprinkle of destiny! ✨💖 Let’s get into this juicy reading because it’s ALL the vibes!! 💅💫

How They See You: 8 of Pentacles HELLOOOO, hardworking queen/king!! 👑✨ Your celeb crush sees you as someone who’s a total boss when it comes to your craft. Whether you’re focused on your career, studies, or personal growth, they admire your dedication and all the effort you put into building your life. 🛠️ You’re not here for shortcuts, baby—you’re putting in the work and they are SO into it! 😍 They’re like, "Wow, this person knows how to hustle AND look fab while doing it!" You’ve got that ambitious glow and they’re eating it up. 🌟

Your Emotional Connection: King of Wands Whew, talk about SPICE! 🔥 The King of Wands energy is giving “leader of the pack,” and emotionally, your celeb crush is going to be so drawn to your confidence and passion. 💥 They see you as a force to be reckoned with, someone who knows what they want and isn’t afraid to go after it! 🚀🔥 Together, you’ll inspire each other to be bold and take risks. Your emotional connection is all about adventure, excitement, and sharing BIG dreams. 😎💥

Physical Chemistry: The Empress UMMM, excuse me, but WOW. 😳🥵 The Empress in this position is the ultimate goddess/god energy! This physical chemistry is off the charts, babes! 🌸💫 You both will be absolutely mesmerized by each other’s presence—your beauty, your vibe, your essence. Everything about you screams luxury and abundance in the physical department. 💋✨ It’s sensual, creative, and full of that fertile energy, whether you’re birthing new ideas together or just vibing on that intense chemistry. 🔥🔥🔥 SO steamy!!

Challenges: 2 of Swords, 2 of Pentacles, Ace of Pentacles Ooof, Pile 3, here comes the balance struggle! 🏗️ The 2 of Swords says that there might be moments of indecision or doubts about where this relationship is going. And with the 2 of Pentacles, juggling responsibilities might feel like a tightrope walk. 🧑‍🎨⚖️ You’re both busy bees, and trying to balance your lives while growing this connection might feel a bit overwhelming at times. BUT, the Ace of Pentacles shows up to remind you that there’s huge potential for something solid here if you both put in the effort. 🌱✨ It’s about finding a rhythm and making sure you’re grounded in reality, not just fantasy.

How You’ll Overcome Challenges: Ace of Cups & The Chariot OMG, Pile 3! 🥰💖 The Ace of Cups is here to tell you that love conquers all! Your emotional connection is SO strong, and there’s an overflowing abundance of feelings between you two. This card is all about that fresh start in love—full of joy, connection, and emotional healing. The Chariot? It says you’re both going to push through the challenges with pure determination and drive. 🚗💨 You’ve got your eyes on the prize, and you’re moving forward, no matter what obstacles show up! YASSS, VICTORY!

Long-Term Potential: Queen of Swords & 10 of Cups Okay, I’m screaming because this combo is just chef’s kiss! 👩‍🍳💋 The Queen of Swords is all about clarity and truth, and in the long run, you’ll both be honest and direct with each other. No games, no drama—just straight-up real talk. 💬✨ And then, HELLO, 10 of Cups! This is the ultimate happily ever after, baby! 🌈💖 You’re building an emotionally fulfilling, dreamy life together. Picture it: cozy family vibes, mutual support, and deep love. Everything just clicks, and it’s like living in a fairytale! 🏡💞

Advice from the Universe: The Hierophant, The Sun, The Moon, The Star, King of Swords Okay, WOW Pile 3, can we talk about how DIVINE this advice is?? 😱🌟 The Hierophant is screaming commitment vibes—you two are on the road to something serious here, maybe even long-term commitment or marriage. 💍✨ The Sun says, “YESSS, this is pure joy, baby!” 🥳 But then The Moon shows up to remind you that not everything is clear—there will be moments of confusion or emotional depth to explore. 🌙 Just remember that the Star is guiding you through it all, bringing hope, healing, and destiny to this connection. And the King of Swords? He’s like, “Keep it logical, stay clear-minded, and you’ll soar!” 🦅✨

Bottom of the Deck Energy: Knight of Pentacles OMG yessss! 🙌 The Knight of Pentacles is the slow and steady energy here, telling you that this relationship will develop over time. Patience is key, my love! 💛✨ Even though things might feel like they’re moving slowly, they’re building a strong, stable foundation that’s going to last. Slow and steady wins the race, and trust me, this is worth the wait. 🐢💪

Summary: Pile 3, this relationship with your celebrity crush is GIVING power couple vibes! 🔥 You’ve got physical chemistry for days, emotional depth, and a shared drive to make things work. There will be challenges with balancing your busy lives, but with love and determination, you’re both moving forward to build something that’s long-lasting and full of joy. 💖✨ The universe is practically screaming commitment and happiness your way, so buckle up for this epic love story!

Are you ready to take the lead in this romantic adventure? 😎💥

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✨ Pile 4: A Soul-Stirring Journey with Your Celebrity Crush ✨

Okay, Pile 4… THIS is some next level, deep, transformative energy coming through for you and your celeb crush! 💫💖 Buckle up, because this relationship is going to be a total soul evolution. If you’re ready to face your shadows and rise like a phoenix, then let’s get into it! 🔥🔥

How They See You: 8 of Cups, 6 of Pentacles, 6 of Cups OMG, the first thing I’m getting is that your celeb crush sees you as someone who is walking away from what no longer serves them. 😌✨ With the 8 of Cups, you’ve been on a journey of self-discovery, and they’re watching you leave behind anything that’s been holding you back. Talk about glow-up vibes! 🌟 But it’s also so sweet with the 6 of Pentacles and 6 of Cups—they see you as generous, balanced, and so kind-hearted. 🥺💖 You have this childlike innocence about you, but also this sense of maturity that makes them feel so safe. They low-key want to spoil you with all the love and affection! 💝💫

Your Emotional Connection: The Star, The Moon, 9 of Wands Whew, emotional rollercoaster much?? 🎢💕 The Star is telling me that your connection is so healing, like you both have the ability to bring hope and inspiration to each other. 💫 It’s like you’re their wish come true, and vice versa. But with The Moon and 9 of Wands here, it’s clear that there’s also a lot of deep, hidden feelings that might create some confusion or emotional walls. 🌙 You both might struggle with vulnerability at first because you’ve been through it (looking at you, 9 of Wands 🧱). But underneath that, there’s a magical, mystical bond that draws you both together like the pull of the moon on the tides. 🌊💖

Physical Chemistry: High Priestess, 7 of Cups OMG, the mystery and fantasy in this chemistry is REAL! 😳🔥 With the High Priestess, there’s this unspoken attraction that’s so intense, you don’t even need words—you just feel each other on a deep, spiritual level. 😍✨ It’s like you’ve known each other in other lifetimes and the energy between you is just magnetic. And with the 7 of Cups, this is giving me serious dreamy vibes! 🌀💫 There’s a lot of fantasizing about each other, a lot of “what if” scenarios, and maybe even some wild imagination running through your minds about how things would be together. So spicy! 🌶️🔥

Challenges: Ace of Pentacles, The Empress The challenge here is all about grounding this connection into reality. 👀✨ The Ace of Pentacles and The Empress are like, “Hellooo, let’s make this real,” but there might be delays or struggles with turning your dreams into a solid, physical relationship. 🌱 It’s like you’re both vibing in the ethereal, spiritual plane, but bringing it down to Earth may take some serious effort. You both need to nurture this relationship like a garden, and remember that the seeds you plant now will grow into something beautiful—but it won’t happen overnight! 🌿🌸

How You’ll Overcome Challenges: 8 of Pentacles, Justice, Death, Hanged Man, Tower, Devil OKAY, Pile 4, this is where it gets intense. 😳⚡ You’ve got a whole lineup of major transformation coming through to break down the barriers in this connection. First of all, with the 8 of Pentacles, it’s clear that you’ll have to work hard to make this relationship flourish. But the Justice card says that as long as you’re fair and honest with each other, things will balance out. 🧑‍⚖️✨

But HOLD UP—Death, Hanged Man, Tower, AND The Devil?! 😱🔥 This is some major transformation energy, and honestly, it’s giving “total rebirth”! You and your crush are going to face some serious shifts—whether it’s letting go of old patterns, enduring shocking realizations, or confronting the parts of yourselves you’ve kept hidden. 😶‍🌫️ But guess what? After all the drama, you’re going to come out stronger and more aligned with each other. 🦋💖 It’s like you’ll shed the old, toxic layers and come into this relationship with a fresh perspective. Absolute 🔥🔥🔥!

Long-Term Potential: The Chariot, Temperance OKAY YESSS!!! 🚀💨 With The Chariot, you and your celeb crush are going to move forward with unstoppable momentum! Once you’ve gone through all the trials, you’ll be more aligned and ready to charge ahead together, full force. 🐎💫 And Temperance? This is the card of balance and healing, which means you’ll find a perfect harmony between your differences. There’s this beautiful yin-yang energy between you—both of you balancing each other out, creating peace and stability in the long run. It’s giving power couple but make it zen! ☯️✨

Advice from the Universe: Ace of Cups YESSS, new love is here for you!!! 💖 The Ace of Cups is overflowing with love, joy, and emotional fulfillment! You’re being told to open your heart and let the love flow, because this connection is going to be SO healing and nourishing for both of you. 🌊💞 Don’t be afraid to dive deep into your feelings, because this is a love that’s worth exploring! It’s pure, it’s transformative, and it’s exactly what your soul’s been craving! 🥰

Bottom of the Deck Energy: King of Swords This is the undercurrent of your relationship—clear communication and sharp intellect! 🧠✨ You and your crush will be able to navigate any challenges by keeping things honest and logical. No emotional games here, just straight-up clarity and understanding! The King of Swords reminds you to use your head and stay true to your values. 🙌👑

Summary: Pile 4, you are on a wild ride with your celeb crush! 🌪️ This relationship is all about transformation, growth, and deep emotional healing. There’s a magical, unspoken bond between you two, but you’ll need to overcome some major challenges to make it real. 🌀✨ It’s going to be intense, but OMG, it will be SO worth it in the end. You’ll come out stronger, more aligned, and ready to build a love that’s full of balance, harmony, and joy! 💖 Get ready to evolve, babes, because this is no ordinary love story—it’s a soul-changing journey!! 💫🔥

Are you ready for the adventure of a lifetime, Pile 4? 👀💥

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🌟 Blessings and Love! 🌟

Thank you so much for reading! I hope this pick-a-card resonated with you and gave you some fun insights into your romantic daydreams with your celebrity crush! 💕 If it resonated, don't forget to like and leave a 🌟 in the comments! Your support means the world! 💖✨

Also, if you loved this reading, please follow and reblog to spread the good vibes! 🌈 Check out my pinned post for more info about my urgent needs of funds—you can help by booking a paid reading, which would be super appreciated! 🙏💖

PS: I’m now offering 20-minute life coaching sessions for just $1!! 🎉 It’s an amazing deal! Head over to my pinned post for details on how to book! 🌿✨

Sending love and light your way! ✨💌

[iovebarca]

One Tap - Pau Cubarsi

Authors note: sorry for dissapearing lol ive had a whole ass situationship and like other things

WC: 1500+

warnings: incorrect grammar (probably), my first language isn't english so if you notice any mistakes please tell me, fluff!

It all started with a random tap.

You can’t even remember where you saw his username. Maybe it popped up on your “Quick Add” list, or perhaps you had seen him tagged in one of your friend’s stories. Either way, it was a quiet night, and out of sheer boredom, you tapped “Add.” It wasn’t a big deal—you added people on Snapchat all the time. But this time was different.

This time, the guy you added was Pau.

At first, you didn’t really expect anything to come from it. He was just another random addition to your Snapchat feed—a footballer from Barcelona you vaguely recognized from TV or headlines. You sent a snap of something silly, probably your dog or whatever show you were watching, and forgot about it. But then, he snapped back.

A picture of him after training, his messy hair sticking to his forehead, with a lazy grin and a “How’s it going?” scrawled across the screen in simple white text.

That’s how it all began.

You didn’t think much of it at first—just harmless snaps exchanged throughout the day, keeping things casual. But over time, it turned into something more. The randomness of it faded, and you found yourself looking forward to his snaps. His smile, the goofy faces he’d send when he was tired after training, and the way he’d always ask about your day even if he was exhausted from practice in Barcelona, far away from your home in Córdoba.

There was an easy connection between you two, the kind that felt so natural you didn’t even realize how close you were getting. It wasn’t just about streaks anymore or sending photos of sunsets or what you were eating for dinner. It became long conversations over Snapchat, then texts, and eventually video calls late into the night.

You’d talk about anything and everything. He told you what it was like to balance life as a footballer, the highs of being on the field and the lows of dealing with pressure. You’d share stories about school, your life in Córdoba, and how you’d sneak in time to watch him play whenever you could catch the games on TV.

He’d laugh at your stories, always making you feel like you were the most interesting person in the world. And his laugh—it was addictive. It came out in bursts, sometimes making his whole face light up through the screen, and every time you heard it, you’d feel a little warmer inside.

You didn’t know exactly when your feelings shifted, but suddenly, he wasn’t just a footballer in Barcelona anymore. He was Pau, the guy who made you laugh, who would send you a picture of his breakfast with a silly caption just to brighten your day, who always seemed to know exactly what to say when you were feeling low.

It was innocent, sweet, and yet a little bittersweet too. He was there, on the other side of the screen, but also miles away.

You were in Córdoba. He was in Barcelona.

Still, you fell into a comfortable rhythm. Every morning, you’d wake up to a sleepy selfie from Pau—his hair a mess, his eyes half-closed, but always with a “Buenos días” just for you. And at night, you’d talk until one of you couldn’t keep your eyes open anymore, ending the conversation with a quiet “Goodnight.”

One night, after months of this back-and-forth, Pau brought it up.

“I really want to see you,” he said softly over the phone. It was late, and you were both lying in bed, the only sound being his quiet voice and the occasional rustle of sheets as he shifted.

You felt your heart skip a beat, that warm, nervous feeling bubbling up in your stomach. You’d been thinking about it too—about what it would be like to see him in person. But it felt impossible. “I want to see you too,” you whispered, a smile pulling at your lips. “But I mean... how? You’re there, I’m here…”

“I’ll come to Córdoba,” he said, like it was the simplest thing in the world. “I don’t care. I want to see you.”

You laughed softly, not entirely sure if he was serious. “Yeah? You’re just going to show up at my door?”

“Maybe I will,” he teased. “You never know.”

You brushed it off, not thinking much of it. But in the following days, Pau became a little quieter, not snapping as much, not calling as often. He mentioned being busy with training and travel, and you tried not to worry. Still, you missed him, and the distance felt heavier without your daily chats.

A few days later, you were home alone, lounging on the couch and flipping through your phone. The day had been long, and you felt restless, wishing Pau would call or at least send one of his usual goofy snaps to cheer you up.

Suddenly, your phone buzzed. Not a snap—your doorbell.

Confused, you got up and made your way to the door. You weren’t expecting anyone, and when you peeked out of the window, your heart stopped.

Pau was standing on your doorstep.

It didn’t seem real at first. Your brain struggled to catch up with what your eyes were seeing. He was just standing there, hands shoved awkwardly into the pockets of his jacket, looking a little nervous but with that familiar, lopsided grin on his face. He gave a small wave, as if he wasn’t sure what else to do.

“Hey,” he said, voice soft but filled with that quiet confidence you knew so well.

You stood there, speechless, for what felt like forever. How was he here? He was supposed to be in Barcelona. Was this a dream? It had to be a dream.

But it wasn’t. This was real. He was real.

“Pau…” you finally whispered, your voice shaky. “What… how…”

He laughed, scratching the back of his neck sheepishly. “I told you I’d show up at your door.”

Before you could say anything else, you threw your arms around him. The second you felt his solid, warm presence against you, everything else melted away. He hugged you back immediately, his arms wrapping tightly around your waist like he’d been waiting for this moment as long as you had.

It was the first time you’d ever felt him, really felt him, and it was overwhelming. His heartbeat against your chest, the way he smelled like fresh air and the faint hint of cologne, the warmth of his embrace—it all felt like everything had fallen into place. He held you like he didn’t want to let go, and for the longest time, neither of you moved, just standing there in each other’s arms.

You finally pulled back, just enough to look up at him. His face was inches from yours, his eyes soft and searching as he studied you. He looked nervous, almost shy, like he couldn’t quite believe he was really standing in front of you.

“You’re actually here,” you breathed, still trying to wrap your head around it.

“I’m here,” he murmured, his thumb brushing softly over your cheek. “I told you I couldn’t wait anymore.”

And then, before either of you could second-guess it, he leaned in and kissed you.

It was soft at first, tentative, like neither of you were sure how to handle the moment. But when your lips met his, everything just clicked. His hands cradled your face as he kissed you, his touch gentle but firm, pulling you closer as if he needed to feel you, to know you were real.

The kiss was everything you had imagined and more—sweet, slow, a little awkward in the best way possible. You could feel the butterflies in your stomach flutter wildly as his lips moved softly against yours, your heart pounding in your chest. It was a kiss that felt like the culmination of months of waiting, of longing, of wanting something more than just a screen between you.

When you finally pulled away, both of you were breathless, his forehead resting against yours as you both tried to catch your breath. His eyes were soft, his lips still curled into that small, shy smile you adored.

“That was… better than I thought it’d be,” he whispered, his voice low and a little shaky, like he was just as overwhelmed as you were.

You laughed softly, your fingers still tangled in the fabric of his jacket. “Same.”

He laughed too, the sound light and warm, and suddenly, the nervousness that had been hanging between you disappeared. You felt at ease with him, like you had always known you would.

“So,” you asked, smiling up at him, “how long are you staying?”

“As long as you’ll have me,” he said with a grin, his arms tightening around your waist. “I’m not going anywhere unless you tell me to.”

“Good,” you whispered, leaning up to kiss him again, “because I’m not letting you go anywhere.”

And as you stood there, wrapped up in each other, everything felt right. The distance didn’t matter anymore. It was just you and Pau, together at last, and you knew this was only the beginning of something incredible.

[quinn-pop]

let’s do some autistic meta knight headcanons!! over explaining my interpretation of meta knight yet again wooooo

this orb has NO idea how to talk to people!!! outside of work anyway. a lot of this is partially due to upbringing (suppressing his emotions all the time) but he does not know how to express emotions, like…at all.

this goes into a few things

1. yeah talking is hard. even after figuring out what he wants to communicate he will struggle. conversation can be so overwhelming, especially under pressure. he will need time lol

2. because of that, forming connections is hard. i really don’t think meta is much for shallow relationships, and certainly not early in the timeline. which also means he has very little experience with friendship. so a lot of the relationships he did have went kinda neglected, and issues that probably could’ve been worked on by talking became…*cough romk* escalated.

3. honestly i wouldn’t be surprised if meta convinced himself he couldn’t feel emotion (anymore) until like. katam-ish. he tried very hard lol

vulnerability is terrifying. (though this gesture here is also just comforting, like his little cape cocoon thing he does.)

unmasking—yeah im taking the mask thing very literally here—is a big deal and a very slow process for mk. i’m sure he has a lot of feelings on that lol. it served as a way to ensure no one could ever, y’know, see him.

i can’t say i think he’d ever fully ditch it—there’s always gonna be some days that are more stressful than others and if having it could help him get through it, it just makes sense. mainly when working.

it really is about vulnerability. granted, i don’t think he has the most expressive face (in my head every astral just tends to stare at things) but i doubt he has much control over it. can’t fake a smile but also can’t hide it. probably blushes easy because yeah, astrals; just look at kirby’s face.

just the idea that someone might be able to read his expression and know what he’s feeling before he’s ready for them to (or even understands it himself…) yeah he doesn’t want that

but emotional turmoil aside, i think his mask also hides a lot of his stims

remember that whole “suppressing your feelings” thing? yeah turns out that ignoring half your instincts isn’t a good idea. so in true meta knight style, he tries to stim as subtly as possible

1. he has the least control over his wings, so they will flick and twitch on their own. they’re usually a good indicator of how he’s feeling, not unlike the body language usually seen in cat ears and tails lol. flapping is also an extension of this of course, though he probably suppresses it more.

2. this also effects when he takes his wings out. pretty much every time he’s excited or nervous it just happens. kinda makes me wonder if his wing cape ordeal might also go into the suppression thing… (i’d say yes, but using a cape is also very comforting so it’s not necessarily a bad thing)

3. going back to the mask thing; he stims a lot underneath it. think like biting or pursing your lips. he bites his tongue and clicks his mouth. that sort of thing. his mask also makes it harder to notice that he is constantly sighing, humming, grumbling…all that

one nice thing about the mask though is that it helps a little bit with lights!!! woo

(look at him and his magically floating glasses)

sensory stuff—i think he’s mostly bothered by light and sound. maybe a bit of texture. he’s pretty sensory avoidant and perfectly happy standing off to the side not touching anything.

the one exception to this is physical affection, which is, despite all of this, most of how he shows affection. it’s a lot easier to hug someone than to try to explain your feelings for them, after all.

i think he would like pressure though. so that’s probably part of it. and i’m pretty sure there’s some connection in here to fighting (dang, is that the only way he knows how to get his energy out?)

anyway, pretty much all of this is in contrast to kirby, who i would gladly nominate as the champion of Doing Whatever He Wants. he might pick up a few bad habits, but he will never mask the way meta knight does. he might not understand how he feels, but he’s in tune enough to express it…usually.

this is a very good thing for meta because it helps him to do the same thing. kirby’s so energetic, it’s hard to not want to stim with him. it reminds meta to be kinder to himself and explore his own emotions. he can also help kirby understand themselves, so this connection is very important.

yeah, at the end of the day, everything kinda just boils down to kirby and mk as parallels

this is the conclusion i promise

to me, meta’s arc is about growing stronger by growing kinder, and this is mostly by learning to be kind to himself. letting himself be a person again, loving and understanding other people, and eventually, letting go of all the expectations placed on him and doing the things he’s always wanted to do…

autism headcanons are fun for me because it’s cathartic to write, but at the same time, it just makes sense in this sort of narrative. meta is, to me, inseparable from these things. and so is kirby! that’s a dynamic that’s a lot of fun to play with, and it’s at the heart of my kirby interpretation.

if you actually read all this WOW thank you