#know that most stuff is to some extent pre planned

[zerotwoooo]

Gooey, wrap your tongue around her legs and lift her up and slam her to the ground a couple times. Don't worry, human children are very durable

THUD!

"...Why did that work."

"Maybe that ice dragon was all she had?"

"....."

"Is something wrong-!"

"Shi-"

"YOU DIDN'T THINK IT'D BE THAT EASY. DID YOU?"

[shadowbannedthehedgehog]

no srsly tho is like the concept of like letters to my younger self and knowing how your younger self would feel about your present self figurative or do ppl actually like have a connection with their younger self and remember things their younger self wanted and stuff like that???

[slowlysoluminary]

after that wack-tastic piece of media i figured we could all!! use a break!!!!!!! so!!!!!!

(more) doodles below the cut. and some commentary! Hurray!

^^ Post game is interesting. Most of the timeloop is about figuring the deal with the memories, some of it is about sif comng to terms with the king, and the very very end of it is about everyone regaining their memories.

so i say it again post game is REALLY interesting!!! because everyone, collectively, is trying to balance their old memories and their new memories. everyone except siffrin. who is not 1:1 old siffrin but is the closest to it, considering how much loop's been through.

loop??? becomes corporeal at some point in the end.

it's very bittersweet! i think! the whole of the party does an "i want to remember!!!" sequence, fighting with their own minds to fill the gaping holes they'd always ignored.

-- loop, after realizing the extent to which they're familiar with the party, had tried desperately to get the party to remember them throughout the loops. in hopes that something would change. they never remembered.

at the same time, siffrin is talking to the king - they're fighting with eachother physically and verbally, desperately trying to get the other understand. resetfrin is not the siffrin the king hated so earnestly, not the siffrin he tried to snuff out.

over the course of many conversations with the king, siffrin caught on. the king is the major lore dump here and is who causes most of the narrative development because i say so !!!!!!!!!!!!

actually. about post game. do you know why their designs are like that

resetfrin hated the lack of autonomy he had over their own body so they decided to. cut their hair. it's a bit curlier now that there's not a lot weighing it down

they decided not to keep the star stuff the king gave them. yada yada character development or whatever.

they gave their cloak to loop!! who is. siffrin again. physically at least. both siffrins are siffrin but with clear differences! like hair length and hair texture! and ohhhhhhhh no what do you mean the universe gave them the wrong body?? what?????? how cruel!!! how blasphemous!!!!!!!

loop hated the idea of keeping her hair darkless (mirror pronouns for loop btw!!! remember that!!!). it reminded them of what it was like to be ghostloop. which they hated!!! but they couldn't have their hair be lightless because that was resetfrin's new thing, so... they just. kept dying the bottom parts of it lightless. it's a compromise

how does the party distinguish the two siffrins, name-wise? uhhhhhh. ask me that question later. idk.

if.... if i have pre-game planned out. and post-game planned out.

then the inly thing I don't have planned out is the ACTUAL time loop bit

it's quite daunting because? that's like the entire point of the original game? it feels like i hve to live up to so much and like fhe loops have to have such a packed, coherent story

though, to be fair, most of what I'm writing will just be. the time loop bit. so i guess I'm figuring it out as i go

anyway, actually talking about the two sketches above, ghostloop is for SIFFRIN'S EYES ONLY!!! she can hit things but things can't hit her and all that.

after figuring out, through past loops, that the King can't see them, they realized siffrin was their only connection to the physical world. The Last Piece Left of them, physically and metaphorically. the whole time they longed for something else to acknowledge their existence. acknowledge theyre real

they also realize they can do Fuckery

the king has a Sixth Sense for loop's Fuckery,,, flipping him The Bird resulted in a rather quick death for Siffrin. whoops!!!!!

this au is. more closely revolved around gloop than i thought. don't worry!! i have a lot of gloop content planned! but. but you need to understand the pain of resetfrin and the king. the misery snd desperation fhe king felt about his country. siffrin pleading with the king, countlessly, hoping to see some SEMBLANCE of the man he once knew. you need to know the missing pieces the party finds, a hollow feeling settling itself around their hearts. you need to know so bad.

so you'll get gloop content! i am a big fan of the little guy myself, really. but !!! this au is not ONLY about them, believe it or not! hehe. haha. giggles. ok ill stop

[kawaiiocelot]

Hi! It is I, currently in possession of a query

How do you interpret Durgetash with Wren and Gortash? I'd love to see more about their dinamic!

HI HELLO THANK YOU FOR THE ASK EVEN THOUGH I AM A MILLION YEARS LATE TO ANSWERING IT!! I wanted to do more art for this but alas, I have been so busy and in my free time I’ve been working on writing and cosplay stuff instead!!

BUT!! WITHOUT FURTHER ADO!! Allow me to give some info on my personal version of Durgetash aka Wrentash or Wrenver.

Some of this is kinddddaaa subject to change since I haven’t finished Wren’s playthrough yet and haven’t decided 100% what his fate is gonna be hehehe.

To me they’re both such emotionally stunted idiots who fall deeply and grossly in love. Both finally finding someone else worthy of admiration and who matches their ambition. Someone to perhaps be an equal at last.

Ughhhhh I just love the Blasphemy of Durgetash, it's delicious.

Wren definitely feels A LOT of weakness and guilt as well as confusion when he starts to catch feelings for Gortash.

He’s definitely never felt this way about another person before. Just never saw the need to tbh. Never desired to. But with Gortash something clicked intellectually and physically.

I see them having some interesting build up, both trying to make sorts of things in their heads and if this is a bad idea. But they’re both so drawn to each other. They’re fated. (Sometimes I like to say fated to die together in every universe to make myself extra sad)

Pre-tadpole Wren is a little less deadpan and a little more freaky and fiendish tbh, BUT he definitely does not handle having romantic feelings normally.

Anyways he doesn’t kill him and lets his feelings torment him.

I think Wren never realized how touch starved he was until Gortash?? Like I never imagined physical touch to be one of his love languages but uhhhh it might actually be lol.

I always imagined Gortash being casually touchy with him at a random moment. Like a hand on his shoulder?? Or hands accidentally brushing together?? And this just HITS Wren. He feels a little feral. And I think they keep having moments like this. Gortash of course catches on. They keep pushing each other's boundaries and what not. Very back and forth, very playful, but still dramatic like a dance.

Constantly finding excuses to spend more and more time in each other's company. 

But I can definitely see them squabbling a lot and play fighting. 💕

And one day it just escalates into something more intimate,,,,,,

Lots of pent up feelings and ferality.

And I think something just SHIFTS and they really become something to each other. Not necessarily labeled but it’s SOMETHING and it's strong.

As I mentioned, Gortash makes Wren realize how touch starved he is so in time I think he becomes REALLY CLINGY with him. Wren is more of a physical being who prefers actions to words so I think he’d be all over him when they get to that point lol.

They both have their respective plans prioritized of course but they just can’t resist each other?? They fill some void for each other that neither knew they had and I think that’s why they become so attached at the hip.

Wren will?? Listen?? And somewhat behave for pretty much only Gortash??

Wren really likes to bite and claw and mark and I think most Durgetash shippers agree that Gortash would be into that. 🖤

Gortash chew toy confirmed.

 ANYWAYS I know this is getting long but I do have a few other quick tidbits about them.

I know they’re “serious baddies” and what not but I think they have many moments of just being silly and cringe and playful with each other?? To an extent?? Healing inner child vibes.

Gortash gifted Wren the dagger earrings that he wears.

Even tho they are very close, Wren still fantasizes about killing Gortash lol. Just Durge things. <3

TADPOLE WREN IS A BIT DIFFERENT. I’m still playing Act 3 so I haven’t decided how everything is handled. Wren obviously doesn’t remember him. :’) BUT he has this weird connected feeling to him still ever since Gortash’s name was first mentioned. He collects every note, letter, and book that contains Gortash’s name because reading the name makes him feel weirdly closer to remembering something. No joke, he steals every poster of him in the city as well (I can’t believe those things weigh more than a pound each!! My little twink does NOT have the strength stat to carry around much more LOL).

Upon meeting him again, Wren still does feel an inexplicable connection to him but also wants to hear him out because Gortash is the only one who allegedly remembers him but is genuinely not meeting him with immediate animosity?? And like, is actually giving him some slight answers about his past?? While everyone else just seems to want to confuse him or kill him. And he’s a bit of a control freak so he’s desperate to learn about his past and clings to anyone who can help him with this.

ANYWAYS THAT'S ENOUGH OUT OF ME FOR NOW!! Only time will tell what else I decide to write for these two but these are the basics~ They’re grossly and chaotically in complicated love.🖤

[princess-of-the-corner]

CC: So, like, after the Togas are arrested, what happens exactly? Like, U.A. has enough evidence to yoink Himiko into protective custody, but wouldn’t they have to at some point prove in court that Himiko's parents suck? Or did someone go at them with "either you sign her over quietly, or no one finds your body". Like, for Amnesia!Dabi, we said they were a reporter & a lawyer with HC connections, if that’s still true, wouldn’t they have influence to fight the charges?

Some of that needs to be hammered out BUT-

Yeah the UA staff start putting together proper evidence and it's. It's kinda easy given the stuff her parents directly said. Like not knowing where their daughter has been for months is a clear slam dunk for a judge.

But there's also.

So I haven't gone into this because I planned for it to be chapters of Blood is Thicker rather than the main CC fic, but I haven't followed up on that in a WHILE and most of this is said in passing in CC anyway:

There's going to be an incident sometime pre-Sports Festival, possibly pre-USJ? Haven't hammered out that time.

But Himiko is only getting very minimal amounts of blood. Mostly just asking her classmates during training exercises. But it's not enough for her. So while it's better, it's also teasing.

Which leads to a sparring match where she kinda. Does the same thing that happened with Saito. Ofc this time she has a bunch of people who can restrain her so things don't get as bad.

The UA staff know that clearly something is Up. And they debate on who to have talk to her and they land on like. Clearly this is something with her Quirk given the blood drinking, so they have Vlad King talk to her because hey blood Quirk he gets it to an extent on how that Quirk may rub people the wrong way and it might make her more open.

Himiko.... is not having a good time. Because she lost control again and thinks this is proof that she's incapable of being a good person and that the teachers are just going to arrest her now.

So she doesn't have any problem voicing those thoughts about how 'her parents were right about her', and even the whole Saito incident to Vlad King and he's like 'oh that is a whole barrel of red flags about your childhood'.

Vlad King helps her with the whole thing of like. Hey, Quirks with dietary requirements exist. You clearly need blood to be healthy. Denying you of that is a bad thing, and you were quite literally starving when you lashed out so no one can really blame you.

Which. Is probably the first time Himiko has heard someone tell her that her blood consumption is totally normal? So she's just. So confused and caught off guard by that.

They talk more and he tells her that she needs blood, and there's ways to help her with that. They're going to start testing out how much she needs and what all she can handle. Like, does it have to be Human, or will animal blood work? And that if she starts feeling bad then she can come to him and he can handle giving her some of his blood because part of his Quirk involves being able to loose a large volume of blood and be fine.

Himiko asks to leave her parents alone in this because like. They're her parents. They love her, right? But while they agree, the UA staff is now documenting all of the things Himiko says. Especially because while Himiko doesn't want her parents in trouble, she does agree that she wants to get Saito out of trouble. Because in this AU her parents had that incident covered up by claiming that he attacked her and she acted out of self-defense. So they have to do something about that.

Himiko does have a bit of a breakdown when they realize that yeah animal blood does work for her she could've just had that all these years and not been tempted to chomp down on her classmates.

Then yeah Himiko's parents see her in the Sports Festival and using her Quirk and they show up to UA to complain and yell at her about what she's doing and mention not knowing where she's been for the past few months and....

Yeah it's A Lot and the last bit is what gives the Staff proper clearance to arrest them because while the emotional abuse is hard to qualify without Himiko herself opening it up as a case, and the 'she needs blood and they've been starving her' stuff could be claimed as ignorance, something more clear-cut like the neglect is enough.

There's going to be the actual legal stuff on charging them for things, but there's already a lot of evidence stacked against them that it's a lot easier here than it would be in Amnesia!Dabi.

[lucienarcheron]

I just needed a place to vent about this - but as someone who enjoys Taylor Swift and ACOTAR, the fandom has just been insane lately. I think it’s really shown me that for me personally, I’m more than happy to just be at the level of enjoying the content. It’s been exhausting to scroll thru social media and see people getting waaay too into the next album/book release, private dating lives, finding Easter eggs that are just eggs lol like sometimes a sweater is just a sweater guys pls 😂

Oh babes, I feel you! The fandom has been insane for much longer than a while. I honestly felt like it started going off the rails pre-acosf and just kept going nuts after. I've said it before and I'll say it again, with SJM, it's just never that deep. Never. Your headcanon is just that, your headcanon. If it doesn't come true in canon, that's on you not SJM lol. We know Sarah only really plans to a certain extent so there aren't going to be as many easter eggs as people think.

And don't get me wrong, it's fun to speculate and be silly about it. But there's a difference between being silly and knowing you're being silly versus believing it and going out of pocket with it. Most of the time with this fandom, it's been the second option and it's taken any fun and enjoyment out of this series because of how dumb some people are with it.

It's the same thing with being a Swiftie. It's fun to clown about albums and stuff but the way people go so deep into her personal life is actually sick. She's a person, not a machine.

People need to go back to just enjoying things at face value and not thinking too deeply about them lol. We'd all be have a great time.

[draculasstrawhat]

I’m not going to reply directly to the post because I suspect it’s derailing, but I don’t think a lot of North Americans understand how fully (and casually) Europeans inhabit their own history. Not just as landscape, but in terms of buildings, institutions, etc. This is not to say that America doesn’t *have* ancient places, or old buildings that are still inhabited, or anything like that - because obviously it does - but the extent to which they are the background of our lives, the very fabric of our towns. They are not just *there* - our lives are still broadly defined by them. This is partly because Europe is so much smaller, and partly because Europeans were - in the main - the colonisers, and when European countries were invaded, the invaders generally adopted the existing fortifications and town structures.

So that post about proximity to a castle? My mother has moved a lot in her life, but she has never lived in a place (town, city, or village) that didn’t have a castle. My town doesn’t have a castle - it has a 15th? century fortified Manor House, and as such the town is broadly considered “architecturally unremarkable” and having “no old buildings of note.” I live in the ‘new town’ of this place, where most of the buildings are coming up on 200 years old.

But it’s not just that. My partner’s old school - not a particularly special or posh school - had been school since the 16th century. It was no longer in the same building, ofc, but the original building was still there. I had university lectures in a big old Haunted Mansion style stately home that had been sold off in the ‘60s - some of the rooms still had the Jacobean panelling. I don’t actually know the history of it, which is unlike me. A town near where I used to live had its parish church in what was essentially 1/3 of the old monastery with the ruins in the churchyard, and new burials among the old ones. Then there are places like Avebury, where the whole village is built inside (and partly of) a Neolithic stone circle. These things are not so much artefacts of history, but living buildings, towns, institutions. It’s not just, “Oh, they’re here, they exist,” but that we interact with them on the daily. I drive down a Roman road to visit my parents, and literally cross Hadrian’s wall. We eat in pubs on old turnpike roads that were once coaching inns and that are named after the families who used to (and in some cases still do) own the land.

And… I don’t live anywhere especially interesting or ‘Historical’. The majority of my life has been lived in houses that were built after 1950, (and those that weren’t were built after 1850) but it is just *everywhere*, all the time.

The States are a wonderful, diverse country with huge amounts of history - both pre colonial, and post - but one of the effects of it being colonised land (and also, just so massive) is that in a lot of places, there is a disconnect from the bones and continuity of history that is very unsettling to people from European countries (and I suspect a lot of the rest of the globe). And while I know there are places there that history layers itself in fascinating and everyday ways… the influence of the era of a lot of American expansion (The alleged ‘Age of Reason’) lingers in planned cities and communities, in a way that has never really taken off over here - mostly because there was a lot of stuff already in the way that the planners could not bulldoze without repercussions the way they could over the Pond.

[lets-talk-spirituality]

Let’s talk about: So you’re new to spirituality

I’ve watched for awhile as people have gotten scammed by gurus, looked to some reader for godlike information, and seen readers who over-identify with their gifts and let it go to their head, especially with what they say they can do. Readers are people too and they have ego issues like we all do. So today I want to welcome you to read more about how to engage with spirituality if you’re newer to it or just maybe you feel like you’ve been falling into these traps.

Okay so like are spiritual readings like palm readings and stuff real?

Yes. To an extent. Readers only pick up on the current path you’re on and the potential future that aligns with that path, if they are a gifted reader that is. They may even be able to help you see upcoming forks in your path and other potentialities based on decisions. Some are gifted to help you learn more about your soul path. What they say is not be all end all. It is meant to guide and help you. It is not necessarily predicative. I have found few people who can actually predict things and those I’ve found who can, it’s usually very sporadic what they can predict. Spirit shares messages that need to be shared through people who know how to channel (I’ll do a post on channeling) but if you have learned anything here, I hope it’s that spirit is vague and uses metaphors because the point of life is not to follow some pre-determined plan you know and get right, it’s to discover the plan as it unfolds and hold faith in the unknown, letting control go so life can flow.

Red flags to watch out for

- anyone who claims they can tell who your exact soulmate or person is, they may pick up traits but they can’t say for a fact who your person is. They may confirm to you and a partner that you are twin flames or soul mates or whatever but only through the presence of both your combined energies in the same space. Like you and your partner go to a reader together. Anyone who claims otherwise, I’d say be very careful with them. Those type of claims are designed to lure desperate people for a reason.

- someone who teaches about changing your physical appearance through manifestation. Babies, I know this isn’t fun to hear, but spirit doesn’t give a fuck about beauty standards and norms and you were born how you are, even looks wise, for the purpose of growth. If you are born in a time period where you aren’t conventionally attractive, you may be meant to work through a lesson around self worth. You can use spirituality to help you make choices to take better care of yourself, for example, which may lead to changes in your physical appearance or changes to your energy may allow others or yourself to perceive you differently, but that’s the extent of it. You can’t magically manifest a different nose shape.

- people who overly identify with their power and talk about being more powerful than others, or who seem to react strongly to people disagreeing with them. To me that indicates their ego is in the way. Be careful around readers who act like what they say is fact or go out of their way to continually prove their correctness. Truth-intentioned readers don’t prove their correctness, spirit does. Usually people who genuinely channel, pick up what they pick up, and spirit will confirm through those insights being proven right.

- anyone who reaches out to you directly or asks for money. Most readers don’t find you, you find them, or are led to them.

Tips:

- please develop discernment, listen to your own insight and voice first. We are all allowed to have different perspectives and truths because the universe is expansive. If something in a reading or if information feels off to you, you don’t have to believe it. I’d encourage you not to and to use that as an opportunity to look deeper into the subject yourself.

- spirituality is a tool for the self, if you continually go outside of yourself, using divination tools or listening to others insight, you can drown out your own voice. It’s important to distinguish between listening to others for growth and for understanding, vs looking outside yourself for answers. It’s okay every now and again but if you find your emotions are heavily invested or you’re spending countless hours listening to others, I’d encourage you to check in with yourself about why.

[bouquet-of-clumsy-words]

Odd numbers

JESUS JUST A FEW HUH hang on. 1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged? YES 3. Have you taken someones virginity? oH GOD, Attempted. TMI it just.. was not going in, pre-heated the oven n all that jazz but I think she was just super super nervous so we just cuddled. 5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently? Oui. 7. What happened tonight? It is 15:03 so I'll have to let u know later 9. Is confidence cute? Yeah, Like im p shy mostly so having someone who is confident I can lean on in social stuffs etc is always nice 11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? A lot, ngl most of my friends consider me their like "gay bestfriend". I even get invited to the girls night lmao. 13. What are you gonna do Saturday night? Sleep. 15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed? Yes 17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? couple of my pals, all of tumblr and my sister. 19. Have you had sex today? NO IM FUMING. 21. Are you in a good mood? yEAH IT'S SUNNY, BEEN OUT, EATING PIZZA 23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s? I actually do not know. 25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy? Say it should've been me. 27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? Nah like, i have a v sarcastic sense of humour so I'd need it to be able to bounce back. 29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now? Nugget/Jasper 31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to? Nah, they make work bearable. 33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda?9/10 times im drinking it, it has alcohol in it. 35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore? Not really? 37. Do you believe in love at first sight? Uhm, I think you can be instantly attracted to someone and their "vibe" but LOVE idk man thats a tricky one. 39. Who was the last person you danced with? Honestly no idea. 41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake? uhmmmm. last week? 43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush? Have u met me ofc. 45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss? Nah 47. Who was the last person to call you? Uhhh Emma I think 49. Do you dance in the car? How tf u meant to dance in a car 51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? Don't think i ever had tbh 53. Is Christmas stressful? Yes. I work in retail 55. Favorite type of fruit pie? Oooo, cherry perhaps. 57. Do you believe in ghosts? Yeah I've seen some weird ass shit ngl 59. Take a vitamin daily? no 61. Wear a bath robe? Always naked. 63. First concert? blink-182 (ofc) Brixton 2014! 65. Nike or Adidas? Vans 67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? Uhhh nuts. 69. Ever take dance lessons? Nah 71. Can you curl your tongue? Oui 73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy? Ooof. probably? been a long time. 75. Do you study better with or without music? With 77. Ever been in love? Oui 79. What was the last concert you saw? Simple Plan in London 81. Tea or coffee? Neither because I'm weird. 83. Can you swim well? Uhhh if my life depends on it, probably not. 85. Are you patient? to an extent. 87. Ever won a contest? Don't think so no. 89. Which are better black or green olives? Both belong in the bin, I said what I said. 91. Best room for a fireplace? Living room/cosy room.

[brittapcrrys]

this post just making me think abt something for, like, the 10th time today....

this got so fucking long ahhh i am just. justifying all this to myself as im unpacking where the feeings are coming from jsdfkhs glad i have a psych session next week, guess i know what we're gonna talk abt!!

i was rly generally frustrated this afternoon and got a message to pop around for last minute planning for the help/work im doing for mum's friend for the next few weeks. and like yeah i know that it is generally within my range of abilities, i know that most times i help 'em out like this it's Fine and occasionally even Fun, i know that if im Not Well or anything else i can text and say look can't do it today sorry and that'll be accepted!!!

but. whenever i am asked to Do these things (dog sit / dog walk / plant-sit&garden, etc) for "neighbours" and friends there's like......... they KNOW im unemployed and they KNOW i've done it before so there's this feeling of an unspoken expectation that i WILL say yes, i will agree to do it when and as asked.

and ig to some extent it's reasonable for any of them to think 'she's been happy to do it before so there's good odds she'll probably, hopefully, do it again!' and they're never DEMANDING abt it or anything so maybe it is, at least coming from the 'employer' in each case, mostly just ~in my head~ n something i'm seeing/feeling/projecting that's not Actually in there

but idk when i HAVE had jobs in the past (waitress, cleaner, babysitter, tutor, library assistant) if i got ~called in~ the day before i uhhhh could say no. and would say no. and i didn't feel bad abt it i didn't care like i had a (casual, but pre-planned) roster and i've been fortunate enough that saying 'no, i can't' didn't lose me those scheduled shifts or the job as a whole, i know that. but bc this isn't an ~official~ job there's no structure it's just a 'get a text 1wk-to-12hrs before, help a neighbour, get twenty bucks' kinda deal each time it feels like i HAVE TO say yes. if i don't have some other thing already planned, i have to say Yeah Sure or im evil and horrible and the worst and should be ashamed

excepttttttttt i think. a lot of that. comes from my mum lmao always a fun connection to make. bc i made some exasperated comment mostly to myself during that frustrated moment this afternoon and she was like "well what do you mean? why can't you do it? why would you say no? did you WANT to say no? it's not like you have much else going on... it's not even hard why wuold---" etc etc and dad isn't quite so expressive, ever, but less and less so as the PD continues to wear away at him & his speech in more obvious ways, but has similar sentiments. and like.... just bc THEY can't/won't say no to stuff doesn't mean i shouldn't????? mum will say she needs a week to herself and then 10minutes later has agreed to be a TRT (substitute teacher) for 3.5days that week. dad just thinks 'you do a job until it's done. you get asked to do a job, you do that til it's done' and like let's not even THINK abt the way that has worn each of them down physically and emotionally at different times, including now. like they just view Work and the related Expectations/Obligations differently, i guess? whether that's a generational thing, a ND (me) vs NT thing, a 'farmer and air force electrician' and 'lifelong teacher' and 'we both moved out at 16/17 and supported ourselves from that point on / u can't get something from nothing' thing. i have forgotten where this was going jfc

anyway. the dog will be a lil moody if i don't visit her for a couple hours & go for a walk, but she'll be fine. the plants can be watered by someone else, or - esp in the current weather - just miss a day, they'll bounce back later. me doing these things when asked is not, like, the key to holding the fabric of the universe together. nobody's life is gonna come apart at the seams bc i said 'oh, sorry, i won't be able to d that today/this week'.

and i shouldn't actually have to explain why! maybe i have a migraine and can't stand up straight. maybe i'm having a gastrointestinal Hell Episode. maybe i threw up overnight and am still very distressed abt it. maybe i haven't slept in 48hrs. maybe it's windy and im teetering on the verge of a panic attack and rly cannot be outside in it. maybe it's PMDD time and i know i don't have the patience to interact with another being especially not in a way where im solely responsible for it. maybe im bleeding heavily and cramping to the extreme on and off without warning. maybe i haven't been able to get out of bed all week because i just dont want to exist. MAYBE i just! don't! wanna!

and idt it's fair that anyone says or acts in a way that suggests im doing something Very Wrong or Shameful or Disappointing (there's a difference between, 'oh, that's disappointing, but thanks for letting me know' disappointment & 'why would you do that? what are you thinking?' disappointment, which is the kind i mean). is it gonna be fine most times if i agree to it even when i don't rly want to? yes. it's always mostly fine-ish. it's nto abt avoiding it out of anxiety or whatever like im not nervous abt walking this mini daschund that adores me. im not nervous abt watering plants that are essentially the same as my own at home. it's just, like, weighing up 'would doing this likely improve my mood/day? will it probably just be a non-impact kinda deal? what are the odds it makes me / my day worse?' each time (knowing when my psych appts are, when my period is and general mood shifts during my cycle, how my sleep and mood have been in the day/s before the 'shift', weather, etc etc etc) and determining which is likely to be the most effective and useful (or neutral, sometimes) option for me in that case!

and if that reason is just 'ehhh i really just Dont Want It today/tomorrow' that is also fine, actually

[casspurrjoybell-23]

The Raven - Chapter 9

*Warning Adult Content*

In anticipation of his mother's return, the raven slides back under the door in his shadow form before he can be caught lurking about the corridor against his mother's explicit instruction.

Quickly, he returns to his natural state and busies himself with practicing minor magic.

He ensures to use magic that cannot be seen from the slight gap under the door, he would not want to cause a ruckus.

However, if his mother finds him not practicing at all, she would likely be incredibly infuriated with him.

His choice to remain unnoticed in the tower is obviously the safest course of action and should make his mother happy.

Perhaps 'happy' is not the correct term, Raven is unsure that he has ever seen the woman genuinely happy before.

Not even a sliver of delight has ever graced her expression while in his presence.

He is not sure how long he practices the menial tasks he mastered long ago, the urge to do something more exciting bubbling in his stomach.

However, he stuffs it back down, focusing on his pre-planned course instead.

There are some things he would rather keep to himself and the true extent of his magic happens to be one of the most significant.

Besides, if there is even the slightest possibility he could be found out by someone other than his mother, the punishment would likely be dire.

The door to his room opens suddenly, revealing his mother.

After a moment, when the raven is sure his mother has noticed his actions, he calmly ceases his magic to ask...

"Is everything alright, Mother?"

"Yes, yes," she answers hurriedly, waving a hand in dismissal at the question in an apparent attempt to keep the truth from him.

Raven briefly wonders whether or not she knows how easy to read she can be at times.

"There was just a small pest problem that the guards eventually took care of."

Pest?

Is she really calling the prince himself a pest?

The raven wonders how kindly the king and queen would take such a remark against their only son and the country's future ruler, at that.

Something within him encourages him to speak up, some inexplicable and unknown force urging the raven to defend the prince.

It is confusing to him but relatively prominent, leaving a strange twist in his stomach.

However, he bites his tongue, fearful of his own mother's wrath should he do anything to spark the hatred within her, especially after an unexpected visit to the tower by the prince himself.

The raven is not sure why no one is allowed to know of his existence,but he will not audibly question it.

"Now, I will be gone the rest of the day. I expect you to continue practicing your magic while I am away," she informs him, looking at him as if she already knows he will not.

It is like she knows he will spend the whole time dreaming but what she does not know is that it will be the so-called 'pest' that he will be dreaming of.

It will be the probably charming and definitely handsome prince that he thinks of while absolutely not practicing magic.

"It appears the coast is clear now, so you may practice something more useful than... whatever it is you are currently doing."

"Yes, Mother," he responds mechanically, the words leaving his lips in reflex instead of will, the response is pre-programmed into his brain, one that simply slips out without any thought.

Accepting his noncommittal answer, his mother gives a short nod before exiting the room.

When he is alone again, Raven finds himself sitting on the windowsill, looking out over the garden.

Is he hoping the prince will find his way there?

Possibly.

But even if not, Raven still enjoys admiring the view of the tall trees and lovely flowers.

If he was not so afraid of the possibility that his mother would find out and what the repercussions would be, Raven could easily slip under the locked door in his shadow form and explore the castle and find his prince.

He does not like to make his mother angry, though and one would not blame him, as she is far from kind when that flame burns within her.

In fact, she is downright scary and oftentimes violent, as well, the raven has the scars to prove it.

Raven swallows thickly, the lump in his throat catching as he tries to shake away the fear-inducing thoughts.

It is probably not worth all the trouble it will cause just to have a few moments of freedom.

Taking the chance to leave his prison in his tower room or possibly talking to someone other than his mother is not worth the relentless and ruthless consequences that will surely follow.

A sigh escapes him as he tries to convince himself that sneaking away simply to let his eyes roam over the handsome prince just once more is not worth the whipping he would receive in return.

As much as he would love to risk it, to spend even a single moment more in the prince's presence, Raven has not yet learned how to use healing magic and his mother can be brutal.

Instead of attempting even a temporary escape, the raven decides to simply continue with his favorite pastime, gazing out at the flowers and imagining himself flying through the garden in his feathered form.

Of his many forms, his raven is his favorite, it is the one that offers him the greatest reprieve from his monotonous and painstakingly lonely everyday life.

Somehow, being a bird soothes him, comforting him with a promise of eventual freedom.

The raven imagines himself to be free, similarly to the many birds he observes from his place in the window.

They flutter carelessly, sometimes aimlessly, through the flowers and the trees, their wings kissing the sky and their talons touching the grass.

If only he could be that kind of bird.

With a shake of his head, Raven instead focuses on something less depressing, his train of thought immediately switching tracks and leading him back to the positive part of his daydreams.

He closes his eyes and allows his mind to wander, imagining himself soaking in the sunshine, his feet firmly planted in the grass and the scent of freshly cut flowers adorning his long, black hair practically fills his nose.

And the best part of this particular dream?

The handsome prince is by his side, smiling lovingly at him.

If only his life could be different.

[originalpackersandmoversblog]

Enjoy a Stress-Free Move In 5 Simple Steps!

Most of the time we don't realize what a well-etched plan and a sensible budget plan can do to us until we get one for our forthcoming move. Are you too, planning a move from Raipur to Varanasi? Then you'd skills important it's to stay up with a delegated decide to manage the whole project effortlessly! There might be issues and discrepancies along the way, so we advise you to rent additional help to accomplish your next moving project. Because, the more hands are involved, the quicker and smooth your relocation would be. There are proficient packers and movers in Raipur, who you'll appoint for your move. they're going to conduct a pre-move survey to examine your goods before providing you with a customized quotation as per your moving budget.

All of this information might appear to be general and repetitive to you! We agree, but to guide you effectively throughout your move, we've gathered some amazing hacks which will assist you enjoy your transit journey within the absolute best way. you'll not only find answers to all or any your doubts and queries during this blog post but cater to the much-needed information to survive those challenging days.

Let’s get started…

• Pack up that box of happiness and luxury

Before you jump into the packing process, you ought to get a bag/box ready with all the comforting items that your relations might need during the moving journey. So, confirm you stuff your bag with all the needful goods, ranging from your favorite novel, thereto comforting blanket, your favoured coffee blending cup, kids’ toys, and games. Drop a couple of packets of snacks and biscuits or juice bottles – whatever you and your family would want to munch on in your spare time.

• Put together an essentials bag

Next in line is your essentials kit that might include all the required items that you simply simply cannot survive without. as an example – your sachets of medicines, cleaning and toilet supplies, toiletries including toothbrush, toothpaste, shampoo, conditioner, body oil, body wash, hand sanitizer, soap, and cosmetics that you simply would want to require along. Also, keep a couple of pairs of spare clothes that you simply might need during the move or within the initial days post your move.

Alongside, make it some extent to stay your documents within quick access. confirm you've got all the identity proofs, license and insurance papers, birth certificates, marriage documents, legal documents, office papers on the brink of you because you'd be needing them at several steps during your moving journey. Drop your keys, files, wallet, notepad, pen, and anything that you simply frequently use within this bag.

• Stay calm and arranged

Quite often we lose track of the pre-move activities and tasks that decision for our immediate attention. To avoid something like that, we should always give the entire job of packing and preparations a big amount of your time and also keep an eye fixed on ourselves so we don't miss out on anything crucial before the shifting day. Give yourself an honest amount of your time so you'll mapped out your belongings and possessions and run a de-cluttering job before you prepare your valuables for the move.

Make sure you discard all the useless and unwanted items from your moving pile so you'll move happier, lighter, and economical. Be kind to yourself because it's obvious to feel tired and anxious during the move. So take breaks to unwind and luxuriate in yourself together with your family. ask friends and hear music occasionally, and upon reaching the destination, confirm you choose long walks and spend ample time exploring the town and therefore the neighbourhood.

• Prepare a checklist

You know how handy and useful the to-do list on our mobile seems to be once we are during a hurry or just once we got to undergo the main tasks at hand. Similarly, once you are gearing up for your next move, keeping a moving checklist accessible remains an excellent thanks to tackle unwanted stress. Having a well-designed checklist closer helps to coordinate the move and you'll keep an eye fixed on the priority things. Because there's tons to concentrate to, for example:

• Requesting quotations from top moving companies

• Comparing and shortlisting the relevant ones

• Clarifying the value and payment terms

• Inquiring about the moving insurance and value-added services

• Finalizing the moving date and therefore the moving budget

• Informing the prominent agencies and corporations about the event

• Formulating the address change process

• Gathering essential packing materials beforehand

• De-cluttering and organizing the in-house stuff

• Redirecting the essential utilities to the new address

• Communicating things clearly with the new landlord

• Preparing all the main appliances and equipment

• Packing the high priority and sensitive items on your own

• Informing house-help and society security personnel about the choice

• Notifying banks, financers, and mastercard associations

• Manage your extra, unnecessary stuff

Once you've got found out the things that you simply would take along, you'd be left with the damaged, old and out-of-order goods in your household. Moving day doesn't spare you a flash where you'll leave and sell or donate your stuff. So, we advise you to affect the thing smartly. confirm you inform the removals team in your locality to manage your worn-out items and garments and get in touch with the social organizations to urge obviate the opposite unwanted articles in your spot.

EndNote

No matter how stressful a move seems to be, there are better ways to affect it. The foremost thing required at now is research. The more you're conscious of things, the more equipped and ready you're to affect them. From the moving day checklist to a moving day budget, from deriving realistic quotations from the leading companies to hiring an appropriate one as per your requirements, you've got to concentrate to innumerable aspects that would affect your moving experience in additional than one ways. So, approach the expert movers and packers in Raipur stupidly twice and make your relocation a memorable and happy experience.

[ofoceansandtombsanew]

Nature’s First Green is Gold

a/n: fluff, fatuus!reader, pre!relationship, pre!3.0

tags: i never really considered myself a scaramouche simp, but lately this asshole is never not on my mind (oh my OH MY). 4town references aside, i decided the best way to get the scaramouche brainrot off my mind is by writing something with him and decided to look at the husk of opulent dreams set for inspo. title is a nod to a robert frost poem. i had fun with this, this might actually make a part two. talk with me in the ask box about this guy and tell me how many primos you got saved

“Is the planting going well?”

“It’s going fine, Mrs. Wang!” You smiled kindly at the lady. You hadn’t known her long since being stationed in Liyue, but you were more than happy to help her with planting rice paddies. 

The old woman gave you a wizened grin. “Once we’ve wrapped things up here, why don’t we have a break? The jade parcels should be done soon.”

As if waiting for food to be brought up, your stomach growled. You laughed, mildly embarrassed. “Sounds like a plan to me.” You pat your stomach accordingly, not minding the mud smeared against the clothes you were given. “Just leave everything to me. I’m no stranger to this stuff, my family taught me everything I know!”

Mrs. Wang beamed once more before walking to her kitchen and your smile faltered. If she knew I’m a Fatuus, I don’t even think she’d want to talk to me. You sighed before resuming your task of planting rice in the watery fields of Qingce Village. 

You’d been one for the better part of a year. 

It all started when your family back in Sumeru took a loan from a Snezhnayan banker to keep the family farm. Unable to pay back that loan, you were given up to the Fatui instead. Part of you was still bitter about it after you’d argued so passionately with your parents that any deal with a bank affiliated with the Fatui was a mistake. Part of you understood that it was either work for the Fatui or see your family harmed.

Gone were your hopes of studying at the Academia. Now here you were miles away in Liyue and whenever you had a rare piece of respite, you spent your freetime pretending you were still a normal person. You were sure that was the only way people would even be nice to you, let alone cordially speak with you. At least without looking at you like you were the scum of the earth as people often would when you donned your mask and uniform.

And I can’t blame them when that was me not too long ago. Full of contempt and very little empathy. Now that empathy rolled off you in waves at the thought of how many others in the Fatui were like you, unwilling participants in whatever grand scheme the Tsaritsa was after.

Does their Archon even know the extent of the things the Fatui does? 

Of course she does, she has to know.

How the hell does any of the stuff I do make Teyvat better? Poisoning lands and causing strife?

You decided to stop thinking about it a few months into your ‘enlistment’; it was the only way you’d stay sane. 

It wasn’t all bad, at least. You made some friends, more or less, in your division.

The sarcastic Inessa, dorky Lev. Even Oksana, the most devout follower of the Cryo Archon, had her likable traits with her stories of her childhood in Snezhnaya and her cooking. The three of them kept you sane when you first joined your division because regardless of your differences, you all had the same fear.

Archons, Lord Scaramouche is terrifying. You shuddered just at the thought of him, planting another few stems of rice plant. He was beautiful. Almost like a doll at times with his too perfect looks and sense of style, but that beauty had a scathing tongue to match. Who knows what he would do if he saw me like this? Covered in mud and sweat.

You could already picture him looking down at you with sharp eyes. “This is where you disappear to all day?” He would ask though you knew you’d be stupid to reply. “What on earth are you doing rolling around in the mud for? If you want plants so badly use that Vision of yours.” He would sneer before he’d glance in disgust at the vibrant green Dendro Vision strapped to your arm. (Vision, not a Delusion, you feel a small twinge of pride. You were one of only two in your division with one. Not that that was anything to be proud of when most of Fatui preferred to have a Delusion, a gift from the Tsaritsa herself.)

It was bad enough being a Fatuus but you should have known something was wrong when you saw the amount of grimaces, winces, and looks of downright pity you received when you were told ‘You’ll be placed under the division of the Balladeer’.

“Well,” someone else whispered. “They could have been assigned to Lord Dottore.” That garnered a few ‘that’s true’s and nods.

You almost thought those older members were exaggerating when you first met The Balladeer. He’s beautiful. You remembered thinking, noting his long eyelashes and indigo eyes. Then he opened his mouth and said “just try not to be useless. They send me enough weaklings as it is.” and that beautiful, prince-like image you had of him shattered into dust.

From scolding those speaking out of turn to even outright slapping someone randomly once just to see how they’d react. Lord Scaramouche had to be the worst Harbinger. Second worst. You corrected yourself. The worst has to be Dottore. You might have only heard rumors, but rumors always had truth somewhere buried in them.

If you had to choose the lesser of two evils, you’d pick The Balladeer any day.

He was volatile but he wouldn’t make you a living experiment at the drop of his extravagant hat.

You would have thought he was evil incarnate, however, if not for one thing. A few things, actually. The man appeared to have a soft spot for children. It wasn’t often you caught him in the presence of one, but when you did (and he wasn’t aware of your watchful eyes on him), he never behaved how you expected.

Once a boy ran past him, brushing into him before falling. Rather than zap the child for even touching him, Scaramouche picked the boy up before brushing his shoulders off like a parent tending to his own child. “Stop crying, you’re fine aren’t you? You’re a strong tough guy, right?”

Then there was the girl whose kite drifted far beyond the reaches of obtainability. A normal scene in any nation, what wasn’t normal was the fact Scaramouche had bought her another one. “Try not to lose this one to the wind too, okay?”

Oh the way you wanted to divulge to your comrades what you’d seen. But there’s no way they’d believe me. Not even Oksana who often told sighed about how anything was possible as long as you believed in the Tsaritsa’s vision for Teyvat.

“Not even the Tsaritsa could make that man be nice.” You were sure she would say.

Lev would quirk a gray eyebrow, blue eyes twinkling, “you sure you didn’t bump your head or something?”

But you know what you saw. In that small dark chunk of coal he called a heart, children were excused from the cruelty Scaramouche was capable of.

What we do in the dark. You thought about the trope of novels you read in the past. It described the actions one took when no one else was around to be who they truly were at their core. You shook your head for a brief moment. Being nice to children was the bare minimum anyone could do, that wasn’t worthy of the amount of praise you considered giving him. But it’s Lord Scaramouche, I honestly thought he was going to zap that one kid into ash. He can’t be that bad, at least... he’s nice with kids anyway.

A cool breeze brushed your side and you stood up fully with a satisfied sigh, eyes closed as you relish the wind.

“So this is where you disappear to all day?” Your heart nearly fell into your ass at the sound of voice. No, no, Kusanali no. Yet there the Electro-wielding Harbinger stood, arms crossed and eyes filled with that familiar dismay. “What on earth are you doing rolling around in the mud for? If you want plants so badly use that Vision of yours.” He sneered, just like you predicted, glancing at your Vision.

“L-lord Scaramouche.” You stammered, unsure what to say. It wasn’t like you were even doing anything wrong, but you certainly felt like it with how the man stared at you. How did he even know I was here? “I-”

The voice of Mrs. Wang couldn’t have come at a better time. “Oh and who’s this?”

“Er- this is... someone I know.” You answered dumbly, not wanting to offend your superior by speaking too casually but not wanting to alert the woman you were a Fatuus. “We’re traveling together!”

Mrs. Wang hummed in response, looking at Scaramouche carefully. “Well, come on in and get some clothes.”

You blinked in surprise as Scaramouche raised a perfect eyebrow. “Excuse me?”

“Those ones are too fancy.” Mrs. Wang elaborated but at the continued confusion, she went on. “You aren’t expecting them to plant those paddies by themselves do you?” She grabbed your superior’s wrist, dragging him after her like he was just some child and not one of the strongest people in Teyvat. Your anxiety was never greater as you watched her unknowingly tug a Harbinger into her home. “Come on now! Those who don’t work, don’t eat! Together you’ll be done just in time for lunch.”

And that was how you and Scaramouche, no. 6 of the Fatui Harbingers, both were stuck in plain farm clothes, knee high in water meant for rice paddy planting.

A Harbinger. Farming.

He is going to kill me. 

It was a miracle he hadn’t zapped you through the water, putting an end to your existence. Lunch couldn’t come soon enough, Mrs. Wang happily calling you over as the last of the rice bundles you were handling were planted.

“Thank you, Mrs. Wang.” You took a gracious bite of the jade parcels on your plate. Liyue cuisine was spectacular. A welcome distraction to Scaramouche being by your side and your hunger. 

The kind elder shook her head, “thank you again for volunteering to help. Young people like you are a rare find. Most of our youth leave to Liyue Harbor the moment they’re of age.”

Scaramouche snorted beside you, “what a surprise that is.” If you could pelt your elbow into his side to make him mind his manners, you would.

“I think your village is lovely.” It reminded you of home in some ways. You longed for the day you could return to the deserts and rainforests of your homeland. Qingce village with its rice paddies and vibrant golds and sedonas was almost reminiscent of it.

“I’m glad you appreciate it, dear.” Mrs. Wang smiled appreciatively. “What was it that you said you did again?”

Indigo eyes were on your form as you took a nervous sip of iced tea. “Oh um,” you thought back to the story you’d given her before when you met. “I’m a farmer back home but I left in order to study the crops of other nations. Sumeru’s mostly known for mushrooms but we have lots of other things to offer, so I wanted to check out the competition.” You lied through your teeth, Scaramouche did nothing but snort again.

At least he wasn’t going to expose you even if you were sure he thought you were pathetic for lying.

“Well that’s very commendable, it shows your passion.” Mrs. Wang’s eyes trailed over to the dark-haired man beside you. “And you?”

“What about me?” Scaramouche glared at the woman.

“He’s an actor!” You chirped, praying that he’d just go with it. He might as well be with how well he tricked that golden-haired Traveler and eyepatch-wearing girl into believing he was a random kind soul.

Scaramouche eyed you, equal parts annoyed you talked over him equal parts amused at how hard you were trying to cover up your Fatui-aligned identity. “Right, an actor.” He added seamlessly to your lie. “One from Inazuma. This one was so taken by my skills, they’ve been following me around ever since.” Gods he is the worst.

“An actor.” Mrs. Wang repeated with an odd lilt to her voice. You nodded enthusiastically, your neck hurting. “No wonder your skin’s so soft. You haven’t worked with plants a day in your life.” She gave you a worried look. “Are you sure that’s fine?”

She doesn’t think he’d work at my family’s farm does he? “Oh no, he’s never even seen my family’s farm.”

Mrs. Wang looked even less enthralled by the information.

“What?” The Balladeer all but hissed, clearly displeased to be looked down upon.

Mrs. Wang looked unimpressed as she gave Scaramouche the up-down. “Your boyfriend doesn’t seem like he provides much, honey. Being an actor’s spouse won’t do at all if you’re planning to take over your family’s business. He’d be no help at all.” Your superior choked on his breath while you nearly spat out your tea. The old woman’s sour expression turned warm as she looked at you once more with fondness. “My grandson, on the other hand, he’d be perfect for you.”

Morax, Barbatos, all the gods in the Celestia please help! I’m pretty sure Lord Scaramouche is gonna kill this woman! The skin on the back of your neck rose at the tingles gathering.

“Of course, I’d be sad if he moved all the way to Sumeru but we can talk with your parents about you settling down in Liyue as well.” The elderly woman continued adding fuel to the fire, “Honestly, you could get anyone you wanted! Someone much sweeter.”

“Lo- Scaramouche is sweet!” You blurted out in a very blank-minded attempt to smooth things over. Eyes of disbelief from both parties stared at you as you clumsily continued on. “Honestly! He’s handsome and-”

Mrs. Wang cut you off, “looks aren’t everything, dear.”

Trust me, I know. That’s the understatement of the year with him. Still, you shook your head. “It isn’t, I know that. But he’s not just a handsome face, he’s got a handsome heart. He’s strong.” You never doubted the strength of Electro. Of all the elements, lightning and storm was the most unstable. You’d seen it time and time again back on the farm. What could start as a light drizzle, nurturing the saplings, could just as easily turn into a storm that tore up the roots of even the most stubborn trees. “But he’s gentle. He’s great with kids.”

“Kids?” Mrs. Wang snorted. “This one?”

You recalled the boy that fell or the girl who he bought a new kite for.

Both were instances you wouldn’t have believed if you hadn’t seen it with your own eyes. “I know that he can be... coarse on the outside but- but he really is a good person.” At least, that was what you hoped. Maybe it was wishful thinking, but nobody was that heartless even in the Fatui. There was good in Lord Scaramouche The Balladeer and even if it was only reserved for children who didn’t know any better, that was still something. “He’s always gentle with them. If they do something wrong or silly, his tells them lightly before making them smile. Or he’ll even by random kid’s new kites if they lose one. It’s... sweet.”

Even the smallest acorn can grow into the largest oak, your grandmother would say.

Maybe, instead of coal, Scaramouche’s heart was an acorn. Small for now, but it would grow into an oak one day. 

You took a large gulp of your tea, pointedly avoiding looking anywhere in the direction of Scaramouche’s face. You didn’t want to even imagine the expression he was making. Please just leave it there, Mrs. Wang, I have to go back home with him.

Mrs. Wang only sighed, “well if you insist.” She murmured, resigned. The woman spared a glance in the direction of the Harbinger. “You remind me of my sister and her spouse. They didn’t seem compatible in the slightest but no one was as in love as they w-”

“That’s it, we’re leaving.” Scaramouche stood abruptly leaving his half-finished drink and jade parcels at the table. “Grab our things.”

You looked at your plate then at your superior, wondering if you should just shove the rest in your mouth and hope you didn’t choke. “But we haven’t even finished the rest of the paddies!”

“Oh it’s fine, dear.” Mrs. Wang reassured you, waving you off. “Plenty got done today. I’ll ask my grandson to help with the rest. Of course, you’re free to come back any time!” Her brown eyes twinkled with mischief. “I’d love for you to meet him!”

“They won’t be back here!” Scaramouche snapped quickly, an accusing finger pointed at you. The red on his face had to be anger at the amount of assumptions Mrs. Wang was making. “Swear on this woman’s life that you won’t come back to this hovel and meet any kin of hers!”

Mrs. Wang laughed before you could answer, not that you knew how too. “Best hold onto them tightly then before someone else ups and sweep them off their feet.”

Okay, time to go. You pursed your lips, wanting to fling yourself into the sun. Grabbing the bag with both of your clothes, you trailed after your Harbinger hoping that he wouldn’t smite you before you made it back.

“That old crone.” Scaramouche seethed as you finally departed from the quiet village. “Who does she think she is?! Making me tend to those pitiful weeds.” You quietly pursed your lips finding the wild jueyun chilis more interesting to look at as the Harbinger ranted on. You nearly crashed right into his chest with how suddenly he turned to glare at you. “And you only made things worse! Lying to her about all these qualities you see in me! You should have just said we weren’t a couple!”

“Wha- I wasn’t lying!” You cried indignantly before you could help yourself, much to the surprise to the both of you. And you could have cleared things up with her too! “I meant what I told Mrs. Wang, I like all of those things about you!” Begrudgingly. “Handsome, strong, good with children. You’re all of those things! You just... cover it up in all the mean.” Not that you understood why. “You’re like a cactus, trying to protect itself. But a cactus still isn’t covered entirely in thorns. It’s got soft spots and those soft spots are nice. You’re soft spots are nice.”

Then you froze, realizing you talked back to your superior. I compared this man to a cactus! I said he was S O F T! “I-I’m so sorry!” You sputter immediately bowing so quickly you were sure your back cracked. “I forget myself, I shouldn’t have spoken to you out of turn! You’re not soft or a cactus!”

Your heart was beating faster than you could count as you waited for his response. As you waited for him to do anything. 

Berate you.

Zap you.

Waiting was quite honestly the scary part.

“J-just stop talking.” He finally grumbled and you blinked in surprise, looking up. The look on Scaramouche’s face was certainly disgruntled, just not in the way you were expecting. You were used to sharp eyes and lips furled into a frown. Instead, a dusty hand covered a pink flush spreading across his face and his eyes, while sharp, lacked the usual disdain he seemed to have for everyone. Is he...? “And stop looking at me! You’re worse than that hag.”

With that, he turned around and continued stomping off to your divisions’ living quarters as you stood there stupefied.

Wow.

Lord Scaramouche, embarrassed.

You half-expected it to start raining sunsettias and apples at this point. You hurried after him, careful to stay a few feet behind.

With a more than a hint of finality, Scaramouche barked, “If anyone asks, you were a clumsy fool and you dragged me down with you.”

“Yes, sir.” You weren’t sure if they would find that or the truth more believable. You covered your mouth, trying to fight back the laughter. You didn’t want to test the mercy he was giving you with his newfound flusteredness. 

Yeah, you think with a smile. Maybe Lord Scaramouche isn’t so bad after all.

[grabyourpillow]

Just wanted to share a few words from my friend @doruwuwei to all my writers out there who're writing in English when it's not their first language, and who might be struggling. Who get frustrated at themselves, wondering why the sentences just do not seem to flow as beautifully on paper as they do in their head. Who think they are just, not, a good enough writer.

You are writing with your hands tied behind your back.

You are writing with half of your words, wielding linguistical tools that are not your own, using them to carefully unveil your heart, knowing some of the readers will be able to see nooks and crannies that your gaze simply glosses over.

That is not to say you are not proficient in English! Honestly, most people on this platform are. It's just that, you don't have the psychological connections and the literature behind it. You don't have the the idiomacy behind it. And that's normal! Most of us picked up a pen one day and decided to write in the language of the material that we love, and the one where the most people would be able to interact with our work.

You speak, your native language. That is your language and the way you think. That is where you get the flowing natural imagery, that is where you write more beautifully and more profoundly.

And yet you chose to use English so more people could have access to it. If I saw anyone doing that in my native language, the only thing I'd be is bloody impressed.

Tbh I hadn't realized!!!! I had always been like, English is perfectly fine for me.

Until I tried writing in my native language for the first time in years and after an initial period of "what the fuck did I forget my own language's grammar" and "is that an actual expression or is it just English translated" I was like.

HOLY FUCK.

The imagery comes so fast. I can make long sentences without worrying if I'm over explaining or if it sounds natural or not. I know how to make things sound the way I want it to. I notice consciously "I'm making a simile/metaphor/personnification." Or "This sentence works better like this."

So.

The point to all this you ask?

Y'all are bloody amazing.

English as a language is lucky to have you. We are lucky to read your writing in a language we can understand, even when you feel you are struggling.

Embrace your native language! It is beautiful, in its own way. And it is yours.

For context, the thing I'm writing in my native language is a translation of an existing work of mine, that I wrote in English. And so, my friend also said:

"You could write your stuff in your native language and then translate it in English**, instead of the other way around. That way you'll develop your own style, in English. Because you're writing (in English) with borrowed styles, trying to fit your thoughts into pre-learned structures instead of creating. Which you feel freer to do in your own language."

Like, you feel freer to break the rules when you know the rules right? And just. Yeah. Food for thought.

** Just to be clear I don't mean copy-pasting the text into a translator and serve it like "here's my translation!" (i was planning to do that in the beginning, guilty as charged. Thankfully my translator friend smacked some sense into me). I mean doing the actual translation work, which is, thinking, understanding on a visceral level what the author/you wanted to say and rewrite it from scratch in a way that flows and is beautiful and conveys the same meaning and feeling to the extent it's possible. Because I'm starting to understand THAT'S what translation is.

[lavendrl-writes]

I am so glad you asked!! Because honestly, murder cases and class trials are some of the hardest bits for me to write, so I totally understand how difficult it is to approach at first. I'll do my best to explain my process, but basically a lot of it boils down to fully understanding every angle of the situation

Summary and Timeline

To start with, I always make a bullet point summary to refer to. For example, this is the one for the first case of TIAoLaD:

The information in the red square is my basic premise, the stuff I establish before brainstorming for the actual murder. Pretty standard stuff. I do think it is key to know your culprit's motive from the beginning, because it can help shape how the murder is carried out, and it doesn't always have to be related to Monokuma's (or your equivalent's) motives! Also, something I personally like to do is make sure to vary the cause of death between cases, mostly to keep it exciting. If everyone is getting stabbed, it feels more repetitive.

Following that, I have a summary of events. I start with where the victim was just before the murder and who they were with. This is helpful for having final witnesses and easy red herring suspects.

Then you want to get the victim vulnerable. Most often, this will be getting them alone, but it could include leaving food or drink alone to be tampered with or making them blind or disoriented by turning off the lights. You can have a combination, like the notes above - Chabashira leaves her alone, which is vulnerable already, and Yumeno leaves her tea unattended to allow for the poison attempt. The point is giving your culprit an opening.

Then, obviously, the murder itself - that's straightforward since the cause of death is already decided - and the aftermath. This will typically be some level of clean up, to hide their tracks, but you could easily have your culprit run immediately and leave behind a mess. If you want to do that, though, I'd say it's best as a first case thing, because that makes it the least complicated to figure out.

There will be some outliers, of course, like suicides and multiple murders (kind of) but generally, that format (pre-murder → opening → murder → aftermath) works well because it's easy to follow and add complexity to, and it breaks down the brainstorming process into four parts. It makes it seem less intimidating.

Now, if your culprit planned the murder, I'd really recommend making a note of their original plan, especially if it deviates from what actually happened. Partly because it could leave additional clues, partly because it will probably come up in the trial as a result, and mostly to have your bases covered. I find it's a lot more comfortable to write a trial when you know every little detail of what happened, even if the characters won't deduce it to that extent. See; a snippet of my notes for the third case of TIAoLaD:

Clues

Clues - or truth bullets - are a bitch to try and think up sometimes, I'll be honest. You want them to lead to the right culprit, and you want it to do that in an understandable way. But where to start?

Looking through my cases, I think they tend to fall into a few sections.

Murder Weapon (this is obvious but it's always essential, especially if it's a strange one. using the murder weapon as a clue can take multiple forms. you could find the weapon itself with blood or whatever else, you could find it missing from its usual spot and deduce it from there, OR use it to identify the culprit because it's a personal item)

The Body (injuries and wounds: lacerations, broken bones, bruises. the position it was found in, if it seems natural or staged post-mortem)

The Surroundings (blood stains or prints on the floor, any signs of the body having been moved. signs of a struggle: knocked over furniture or items, messy surroundings. things that are broken, ajar doors, missing things)

Alibis and Accounts (what it says on the tin. this is a good way of highlighting red herring suspects, and bringing up additional information that cannot be shown through physical clues, like planned meetings or behavioural differences. it is also a good way to ward immediate suspicion off your actual culprit by giving them an, albeit weak, alibi or an innocent sounding account)

Motive-Related (in relation to both the culprit's motive and monokuma's given motive, depending on if they are the same or not. this may include things left at the scene as a statement, or in an an attempt to frame someone else.)

2 + 3 are typically used to establish the timeline of events and what actually happened in regards to the murder itself, 4 can be used for narrowing the suspect list and establishing the pre-murder and aftermath, and 1 + 5 help pinpoint the culprit, depending on what the weapon was.

Of course, these are all just general, sweeping statements. Some clues don't fit into these categories, and there can be nuance to how they lead to a culprit, but you'll usually have a couple clues in each one.

A good thing to remember is that not all the clues have to be big, they just have to be there. Mention the bloodstains, mention the wrinkled clothes, mention anything you can think the culprit might have left behind. Every little thing that could act as evidence works.

It may sometimes be easier to work backwards too, by figuring out what you need to show first. You need to show someone was in a certain place? An ajar door, or footprints, or disturbed dust, if you think your protag would be sharp enough to pick that up. You need to show the culprit was someone the victim trusted? Show less of a struggle, make the killing wound a strike from behind because the victim was willing to turn their back on the culprit. Sometimes the absence of evidence is a clue in itself, and can be used as such.

Trials

Okay, so, the beast itself. The class trials.

The biggest thing about writing trials is that they are, as you can imagine, very dialogue-heavy and rely heavily on exchange of information. Because of that, the most important thing is to make sure they have relatively good flow; keeping the switch between subjects of discussion as smooth as possible, making sure the train of thought is understandable to follow, stuff like that.

I know, that's way easier said than done.

Freewriting works very well because it helps you follow the logical assumptions your characters might have of certain questions until they reach a dead end, or the correct answer. One of the biggest obstacles with the trials I've faced, personally, is by knowing what actually happened, I struggle with finding assumptions to follow to dead ends. You don't want a trial to be too straightforward, because that makes it boring. For me, freewriting puts me more in the headspace of my characters, and helps me pad the trial with those dead ends, and it flows more smoothly because it follows my own train of thought.

The way I've found this works best is by focusing on the conversation and its topics as a stand-alone thing before actually writing the trials. I'm sure you can do this in a variety of ways, but personally, I like to freewrite it in a bunch of gibberish. See; my rambles for the beginning of the fourth trial:

The downside to freewriting is that it can get derailed easily, so you might want to make a list of conversation beats to hit first. Typically, it's easiest to make these possible suspects (like the one in bold above) but it can be certain pieces of evidence being brought up. It offers a framework for your freewriting to follow - sort of like filling the gaps between one suspect and the other.

After that, you can write the trial using your freewrite exercise as a basis to get the ball rolling!

I hope that makes sense?? This was a lot longer than I initially anticipated, and I feel like I got a bit incomprehensible at the end, but if you have any questions or need clarification, feel free to send another ask or a dm!

[junhuiste]

twice twice baby (preview)

pairing: jake x gn reader x sunghoon

word count: 2200

tags/warnings: fluff, slight angst, college!au, hockey player!jake, ice skater!sunghoon, sports med assistant!reader, slowburn, mutual pining, cursing, slightly suggestive scenes

a/n: this is just a preview of the bigger piece i plan to publish much later, so it pretty much only has jake, sorry hoonists! also gonna address it here while we’re at it, but i wanna apologize to everyone who sent requests in! i have them all plotted, most drafted and written, but i didn’t realize when i moved back home how busy i would be with work, summer classes, and looking for an apartment! i will have them published before the end of summer though! this piece is coming out before only because i wrote it well before finals week lol

taglist: please let me know if you wanna be part of the taglist!

Being in a parallelogram (or was it a dodecagon? A triangle? whatever) with the two notorious ‘Ice Hotties’ at your college, Jake Sim, the captain of the hockey team, and Park Sunghoon, the world class figure skater, is easy. Geometry isn’t that complicated...right?

As you entered into the arena, a cold blast of air struck, prompting you to jump slightly in your tracks, cursing that it was men’s hockey season and not basketball anymore. Albeit arms shivering, knees wobbling, and barely being able to make any strides at all, you weren’t distraught and to some extent trembling because of the ice rink or the ice packs inside the pouch seemingly glued to your waist, or hell, even the unnecessary air conditioner giving its all. Really, did they need to keep that fucking thing on when it was already polar-arctic-adjacent inside the arena? Probably to keep the rink from oozing into water and having Atlantis actually come to fruition...whatever, fuck the cold!

“Y/N, let’s get on it. We’re a bit late.” The head athletic trainer indicated, speed-walking a little too quickly for your liking, but what were you to do when your chest was heaving upon arrival at the ice center? Suck it up? Collapse and crawl into a ball?

Nodding, even though she was practically scurrying and leaving your curtailing ass in the dust, you heightened your pace despite the fact that your legs were about to give out at any second. Weren’t cold spaces supposed to make a solid more rigid, not turn your legs to jelly?

The both of you finally reached the area where the players were situated to greet the head and assistant hockey coaches.

“This is Y/N,” your trainer (whom insisted you just skip the formalities and call her Mina) motioned to you, slightly yet noticeably panting, “a first year, but they’ve done men’s basketball, women’s soccer and some gymnastics last semester. They know their stuff!”

“Wouldn’t doubt it.” The head coach reaches out to grip your hand firmly.

“Pleasure to meet y—“ once more today you jump, this time not shaken by the frozen tundra or by the vehemently boisterous buzzer, though it was much more thundering than the buzzer at the basketball court for some reason, but by the announcers cheering, “first year, number three, co-Captain, Jake Sim!”

And the crowd? They didn’t just go wild, no, they were literally cacophonous, the ground beneath and the arena stands rumbling, practically rivaling the San Andreas fault. Craning your neck to look around the oval shaped space and just how many students from your school, clad in university regalia, were present to see guys battle it out with plastic sticks on frozen water, even that, the entire scene wasn’t what had your heart nearly palpitating out of your chest.

First year, number three, co-Captain, Jake Sim. Now that was enough to warrant a blood pressure monitor...and possibly a defibrillator.

Almost giving yourself whiplash from turning around too quickly, it was hard not to gape at the boy coasting across the ice, waving at the all too excited crowd. And even through his helmet and from across the rink, you could make out his dark, glimmering irises, like how the sun’s edges would peak through from behind during an eclipse. It was kind of charmingly sickening actually, that someone could be as radiant as he was, under all the bulky gear, even despite the temperature. It wasn’t convenient actually that it had to be men’s hockey this time, that you, as the athletic trainer’s sports medicine intern had to attend the games for. Yeah, it was for credits. Sure, it was for intern experience...but what was the point if you only expected to make a fool out of yourself trying to tend to Jake and his teammates’ possible injuries?

It wasn’t fair, actually, that you were hopelessly in like with Jake Sim and that he didn’t even know your name when you were in the same physics class. To be fair though, it was a class of about 400, an infamous weeder course that crushed the poor souls of innocent underclassmen, so to have him direct any sort of attention your way, even a mere glimpse, would be laughable. That was what happened when you sat in the back, though.

Of course it just had to be Jake Sim that completely bewitched you, and he didn’t have to twirl any fingers or fixate any potions to have you just so damn spellbound. All he had to do was show up to freshman orientation with that stupid inviting grin of his, and that dumb glint in his eye that no one else seemed to possess. No, of course he just had to show up and be almost too cordial to everyone in your orientation group, even though all the other students, including you, could not give a single damn about the campus tour. And yes, of course, he just had to have the masses absolutely enamored with him, both upper and underclassmen alike.

Consider all of that, with Jake’s insane schedule, not that you knew anything specific, just that he had games on Tuesdays and Thursdays, coupled with daily practices, but you were only privy to that information because Mina always gave you the athletic teams’ agendas for the month. So yes, trying to garner any attention from Jake was like floating right smack in the middle of the Pacific, sending some sort of signal through a marine radio, and getting no response back. Not a hint that anyone was coming. No helicopters whirring above, no boats sent out ashore. What would he want to do with the first-aid kid, the person that sat in the back, the person that was paying attention to something else at the moment, and not the fact that they had to observe players carefully for potential injuries?

Well, sorry to Jake’s teammates and Mina, but you just couldn’t pry your eyes off of number three. How he skated in such an agile manner while simultaneously defending assertively was certainly an image now seared into your mind. The way he commanded the court was just so—“You paying attention? Are you okay today?” Mina snapped you out of your nonsensical trance.

“Yeah, yeah of course! Always on my toes like you said...” your eyes told a different story, and deceived you at that.

“And there’s number three, Sim, with the first goal!”

Jake skated backwards to high five his teammates and to prepare to defend, and it was definitely a sight to see him so animated, feeling right where he should be in his domain.

“Ah, I see. Number three is it? I heard he’s a beast on the ice,” Mina nudged and winked slyly at you, “anyway, pay attention ‘cause if your little ice boy gets hurt you know we gotta move quickly.”

It was already enough to have your friends taunt you about your silly adolescent infatuation with Jake, now to have your mentor in on it too? Mina was right though, you were here to wrap ankles and tend to bruised hips, not ogle at the team captain.

“Gotcha. On my toes!” you winked back at her, semi-ready to do your job. If you could predict injuries before they even happened during the basketball and soccer games you should be more than capable of caring for the hockey players. Whipping your head around to finally and legitimately focus on the members, you really wished you hadn’t.

There he was, number three, adept and dodging the defensive players, with the puck sliding in tandem with his stick. Then, it happened all too quickly, in a tenth of a second, too much for everyone spectating to comprehend.

BAM.

Suddenly, Jake was on his back after he and the opposing player too combatively collided into each other. You blinked once and now he was supine on ice, clutching a leg to his chest. His teammates and the referees hastily surrounded him, but you could not watch anymore, you had to do what you were here for.

Running past both the coaches, lamenting what the hells and go go go! at Mina, you dashed to the edge of the rink, about to enter and slip on the ice, but stopped yourself, because you didn’t have skates on. Fuck. Mina and you always ran to the scene of the injury, and you’d only dealt with hardwood floors and grass fields, but never ice. There was no reason for you to just stand around though, as Jake was being lifted by the referees. As much as you wanted to glue your eyes to the catastrophe, you sprinted to the locker room to fetch the cooler.

“Everyone, move!” You shouted at the towering players standing in your way. Setting the cooler on the floor, you directed some of them to assemble a few of the chairs they were sitting on for a makeshift cot for Jake to rest his leg on. Nervously yet rapidly, you dug into your backpack for a splint, pre-wrap, and medical tape.

When you stood back up, Jake and the referees were at the rink’s entrance, with Mina extending her arms to steady him once he transitioned from ice to linoleum. And through all this he maintained the same tender-hearted curve on his face, beaming at Mina and thanking the referees.

One of Jake’s coaches and Mina propped Jake around their shoulders as he hopped on one foot to your nearby station. Assisting them in getting Jake to sit down, you were shaking slightly out of feverishness and hormones, even though it was the perfect temperature for snowfall, but forming a resistance to doing that was almost impossible.

Christ, you weren’t like this when Taehyun tore his ligament last semester at the basketball semi-finals, or when Yuna sprained her toe out on the field, yet it was due to that certain someone that you just could not find it within you to operate as you usually did. It was imperative that you got out of your own head; Jake was merely another athlete you had to tend to and someone you, quite frankly, had to get over, like now.

Once Jake was seated with his right leg propped up on the opposite chair, he took his helmet off and handed it to his coach standing guard next to him.

“Mina, you guys got this?” The coach hesitantly asked your trainer.

“Absolutely nothing to worry about, Coach Kim! We’ve seen worse than this; we’re good, right Y/N?”

You gave Coach Kim a measly thumbs up and he rushed to get back to the rest of the team to continue with the game, deliberating who would substitute in now that their best player was on the sidelines.

While Mina undid Jake’s skates and kneepads, you assessed him before you could get started, asking him what kind of pain he had in his leg, how much it hurt on a scale of 1-10, and if he could wiggle his toes.

Sharp and kind of aching, I think. 8.5-ish, actually maybe just 8. Toes wiggling.

“Um, okay. Good that your toes are still intact, which means you’re gonna be okay, but is there any other part of your body that hurts?” You tried not to sound like a complete buffoon, trying to enunciate your words properly like you did with several other injured athletes; Jake shouldn’t have been any different. He was, though.

“Yeah, I feel like there’s a bruise on the right side of my body somewhere,” he said, motioning to his abdomen.

“Okay...I’m gonna take your shoulder pads off and you have to take your jersey off so we can ice it, is that cool with you?” Your brain was bouncing off the walls at the mention of “take” and “off”. Come on, this wasn’t fucking NASA, although it might as well have been, as he was a universe and a half to you (in a melodramatic way of sorts).

“Yeah, yeah—for sure. Thanks.” Jake flashed an acknowledging smile, to which your cheeks heated up at. There was an injured boy in front of you—no time for shits and giggles and teenage elation.

As you aided Jake in removing his shoulder pads and jersey, he winced a bit, while trying to hide it at the same time. 

“Are you good? I’ll get some ice on that soon, I promise.” You gradually eased into your ‘medic’ mode, trying to expel as much of your nerves as humanly possible.

“Yeah I’m okay, just hurts a bit. Thanks again,” he could not stop giving you that demure yet brazen demeanor, and to be around a smiling Jake meant a tense you, regardless if your subconscious plan to initiate Nerves Exodus was kind of working.

When Mina stood up, all finished with undoing his skates and knee pads, she asked Jake to repeat what he stated about his pain earlier to you back to her. Before walking to where the coaches and other players were, she chaffed at you, with a mischievous lilt to her words, “you can handle it from here right? The star player’s in your hands.”

Audibly, you ‘mhmmed’ her, and when you were out of Jake’s sight, rolled your eyes, making sure she noticed that. You were glad though, that Mina was your trainer and not some old, stern fart like she had when she interned in your same position; it made for much more “effective” mentoring and communication, especially because she left you alone with the athletes, so you were able to think of what to do next for yourself, and if there were ever any mistakes—which there were none of to date—she would help you work through them.

Holy shit, Mina left. It was just you and Jake.