#meet a combination of the reader being forced into the fatui trope

[ofoceansandtombsanew]

Nature’s First Green is Gold

a/n: fluff, fatuus!reader, pre!relationship, pre!3.0

tags: i never really considered myself a scaramouche simp, but lately this asshole is never not on my mind (oh my OH MY). 4town references aside, i decided the best way to get the scaramouche brainrot off my mind is by writing something with him and decided to look at the husk of opulent dreams set for inspo. title is a nod to a robert frost poem. i had fun with this, this might actually make a part two. talk with me in the ask box about this guy and tell me how many primos you got saved

“Is the planting going well?”

“It’s going fine, Mrs. Wang!” You smiled kindly at the lady. You hadn’t known her long since being stationed in Liyue, but you were more than happy to help her with planting rice paddies. 

The old woman gave you a wizened grin. “Once we’ve wrapped things up here, why don’t we have a break? The jade parcels should be done soon.”

As if waiting for food to be brought up, your stomach growled. You laughed, mildly embarrassed. “Sounds like a plan to me.” You pat your stomach accordingly, not minding the mud smeared against the clothes you were given. “Just leave everything to me. I’m no stranger to this stuff, my family taught me everything I know!”

Mrs. Wang beamed once more before walking to her kitchen and your smile faltered. If she knew I’m a Fatuus, I don’t even think she’d want to talk to me. You sighed before resuming your task of planting rice in the watery fields of Qingce Village. 

You’d been one for the better part of a year. 

It all started when your family back in Sumeru took a loan from a Snezhnayan banker to keep the family farm. Unable to pay back that loan, you were given up to the Fatui instead. Part of you was still bitter about it after you’d argued so passionately with your parents that any deal with a bank affiliated with the Fatui was a mistake. Part of you understood that it was either work for the Fatui or see your family harmed.

Gone were your hopes of studying at the Academia. Now here you were miles away in Liyue and whenever you had a rare piece of respite, you spent your freetime pretending you were still a normal person. You were sure that was the only way people would even be nice to you, let alone cordially speak with you. At least without looking at you like you were the scum of the earth as people often would when you donned your mask and uniform.

And I can’t blame them when that was me not too long ago. Full of contempt and very little empathy. Now that empathy rolled off you in waves at the thought of how many others in the Fatui were like you, unwilling participants in whatever grand scheme the Tsaritsa was after.

Does their Archon even know the extent of the things the Fatui does? 

Of course she does, she has to know.

How the hell does any of the stuff I do make Teyvat better? Poisoning lands and causing strife?

You decided to stop thinking about it a few months into your ‘enlistment’; it was the only way you’d stay sane. 

It wasn’t all bad, at least. You made some friends, more or less, in your division.

The sarcastic Inessa, dorky Lev. Even Oksana, the most devout follower of the Cryo Archon, had her likable traits with her stories of her childhood in Snezhnaya and her cooking. The three of them kept you sane when you first joined your division because regardless of your differences, you all had the same fear.

Archons, Lord Scaramouche is terrifying. You shuddered just at the thought of him, planting another few stems of rice plant. He was beautiful. Almost like a doll at times with his too perfect looks and sense of style, but that beauty had a scathing tongue to match. Who knows what he would do if he saw me like this? Covered in mud and sweat.

You could already picture him looking down at you with sharp eyes. “This is where you disappear to all day?” He would ask though you knew you’d be stupid to reply. “What on earth are you doing rolling around in the mud for? If you want plants so badly use that Vision of yours.” He would sneer before he’d glance in disgust at the vibrant green Dendro Vision strapped to your arm. (Vision, not a Delusion, you feel a small twinge of pride. You were one of only two in your division with one. Not that that was anything to be proud of when most of Fatui preferred to have a Delusion, a gift from the Tsaritsa herself.)

It was bad enough being a Fatuus but you should have known something was wrong when you saw the amount of grimaces, winces, and looks of downright pity you received when you were told ‘You’ll be placed under the division of the Balladeer’.

“Well,” someone else whispered. “They could have been assigned to Lord Dottore.” That garnered a few ‘that’s true’s and nods.

You almost thought those older members were exaggerating when you first met The Balladeer. He’s beautiful. You remembered thinking, noting his long eyelashes and indigo eyes. Then he opened his mouth and said “just try not to be useless. They send me enough weaklings as it is.” and that beautiful, prince-like image you had of him shattered into dust.

From scolding those speaking out of turn to even outright slapping someone randomly once just to see how they’d react. Lord Scaramouche had to be the worst Harbinger. Second worst. You corrected yourself. The worst has to be Dottore. You might have only heard rumors, but rumors always had truth somewhere buried in them.

If you had to choose the lesser of two evils, you’d pick The Balladeer any day.

He was volatile but he wouldn’t make you a living experiment at the drop of his extravagant hat.

You would have thought he was evil incarnate, however, if not for one thing. A few things, actually. The man appeared to have a soft spot for children. It wasn’t often you caught him in the presence of one, but when you did (and he wasn’t aware of your watchful eyes on him), he never behaved how you expected.

Once a boy ran past him, brushing into him before falling. Rather than zap the child for even touching him, Scaramouche picked the boy up before brushing his shoulders off like a parent tending to his own child. “Stop crying, you’re fine aren’t you? You’re a strong tough guy, right?”

Then there was the girl whose kite drifted far beyond the reaches of obtainability. A normal scene in any nation, what wasn’t normal was the fact Scaramouche had bought her another one. “Try not to lose this one to the wind too, okay?”

Oh the way you wanted to divulge to your comrades what you’d seen. But there’s no way they’d believe me. Not even Oksana who often told sighed about how anything was possible as long as you believed in the Tsaritsa’s vision for Teyvat.

“Not even the Tsaritsa could make that man be nice.” You were sure she would say.

Lev would quirk a gray eyebrow, blue eyes twinkling, “you sure you didn’t bump your head or something?”

But you know what you saw. In that small dark chunk of coal he called a heart, children were excused from the cruelty Scaramouche was capable of.

What we do in the dark. You thought about the trope of novels you read in the past. It described the actions one took when no one else was around to be who they truly were at their core. You shook your head for a brief moment. Being nice to children was the bare minimum anyone could do, that wasn’t worthy of the amount of praise you considered giving him. But it’s Lord Scaramouche, I honestly thought he was going to zap that one kid into ash. He can’t be that bad, at least... he’s nice with kids anyway.

A cool breeze brushed your side and you stood up fully with a satisfied sigh, eyes closed as you relish the wind.

“So this is where you disappear to all day?” Your heart nearly fell into your ass at the sound of voice. No, no, Kusanali no. Yet there the Electro-wielding Harbinger stood, arms crossed and eyes filled with that familiar dismay. “What on earth are you doing rolling around in the mud for? If you want plants so badly use that Vision of yours.” He sneered, just like you predicted, glancing at your Vision.

“L-lord Scaramouche.” You stammered, unsure what to say. It wasn’t like you were even doing anything wrong, but you certainly felt like it with how the man stared at you. How did he even know I was here? “I-”

The voice of Mrs. Wang couldn’t have come at a better time. “Oh and who’s this?”

“Er- this is... someone I know.” You answered dumbly, not wanting to offend your superior by speaking too casually but not wanting to alert the woman you were a Fatuus. “We’re traveling together!”

Mrs. Wang hummed in response, looking at Scaramouche carefully. “Well, come on in and get some clothes.”

You blinked in surprise as Scaramouche raised a perfect eyebrow. “Excuse me?”

“Those ones are too fancy.” Mrs. Wang elaborated but at the continued confusion, she went on. “You aren’t expecting them to plant those paddies by themselves do you?” She grabbed your superior’s wrist, dragging him after her like he was just some child and not one of the strongest people in Teyvat. Your anxiety was never greater as you watched her unknowingly tug a Harbinger into her home. “Come on now! Those who don’t work, don’t eat! Together you’ll be done just in time for lunch.”

And that was how you and Scaramouche, no. 6 of the Fatui Harbingers, both were stuck in plain farm clothes, knee high in water meant for rice paddy planting.

A Harbinger. Farming.

He is going to kill me. 

It was a miracle he hadn’t zapped you through the water, putting an end to your existence. Lunch couldn’t come soon enough, Mrs. Wang happily calling you over as the last of the rice bundles you were handling were planted.

“Thank you, Mrs. Wang.” You took a gracious bite of the jade parcels on your plate. Liyue cuisine was spectacular. A welcome distraction to Scaramouche being by your side and your hunger. 

The kind elder shook her head, “thank you again for volunteering to help. Young people like you are a rare find. Most of our youth leave to Liyue Harbor the moment they’re of age.”

Scaramouche snorted beside you, “what a surprise that is.” If you could pelt your elbow into his side to make him mind his manners, you would.

“I think your village is lovely.” It reminded you of home in some ways. You longed for the day you could return to the deserts and rainforests of your homeland. Qingce village with its rice paddies and vibrant golds and sedonas was almost reminiscent of it.

“I’m glad you appreciate it, dear.” Mrs. Wang smiled appreciatively. “What was it that you said you did again?”

Indigo eyes were on your form as you took a nervous sip of iced tea. “Oh um,” you thought back to the story you’d given her before when you met. “I’m a farmer back home but I left in order to study the crops of other nations. Sumeru’s mostly known for mushrooms but we have lots of other things to offer, so I wanted to check out the competition.” You lied through your teeth, Scaramouche did nothing but snort again.

At least he wasn’t going to expose you even if you were sure he thought you were pathetic for lying.

“Well that’s very commendable, it shows your passion.” Mrs. Wang’s eyes trailed over to the dark-haired man beside you. “And you?”

“What about me?” Scaramouche glared at the woman.

“He’s an actor!” You chirped, praying that he’d just go with it. He might as well be with how well he tricked that golden-haired Traveler and eyepatch-wearing girl into believing he was a random kind soul.

Scaramouche eyed you, equal parts annoyed you talked over him equal parts amused at how hard you were trying to cover up your Fatui-aligned identity. “Right, an actor.” He added seamlessly to your lie. “One from Inazuma. This one was so taken by my skills, they’ve been following me around ever since.” Gods he is the worst.

“An actor.” Mrs. Wang repeated with an odd lilt to her voice. You nodded enthusiastically, your neck hurting. “No wonder your skin’s so soft. You haven’t worked with plants a day in your life.” She gave you a worried look. “Are you sure that’s fine?”

She doesn’t think he’d work at my family’s farm does he? “Oh no, he’s never even seen my family’s farm.”

Mrs. Wang looked even less enthralled by the information.

“What?” The Balladeer all but hissed, clearly displeased to be looked down upon.

Mrs. Wang looked unimpressed as she gave Scaramouche the up-down. “Your boyfriend doesn’t seem like he provides much, honey. Being an actor’s spouse won’t do at all if you’re planning to take over your family’s business. He’d be no help at all.” Your superior choked on his breath while you nearly spat out your tea. The old woman’s sour expression turned warm as she looked at you once more with fondness. “My grandson, on the other hand, he’d be perfect for you.”

Morax, Barbatos, all the gods in the Celestia please help! I’m pretty sure Lord Scaramouche is gonna kill this woman! The skin on the back of your neck rose at the tingles gathering.

“Of course, I’d be sad if he moved all the way to Sumeru but we can talk with your parents about you settling down in Liyue as well.” The elderly woman continued adding fuel to the fire, “Honestly, you could get anyone you wanted! Someone much sweeter.”

“Lo- Scaramouche is sweet!” You blurted out in a very blank-minded attempt to smooth things over. Eyes of disbelief from both parties stared at you as you clumsily continued on. “Honestly! He’s handsome and-”

Mrs. Wang cut you off, “looks aren’t everything, dear.”

Trust me, I know. That’s the understatement of the year with him. Still, you shook your head. “It isn’t, I know that. But he’s not just a handsome face, he’s got a handsome heart. He’s strong.” You never doubted the strength of Electro. Of all the elements, lightning and storm was the most unstable. You’d seen it time and time again back on the farm. What could start as a light drizzle, nurturing the saplings, could just as easily turn into a storm that tore up the roots of even the most stubborn trees. “But he’s gentle. He’s great with kids.”

“Kids?” Mrs. Wang snorted. “This one?”

You recalled the boy that fell or the girl who he bought a new kite for.

Both were instances you wouldn’t have believed if you hadn’t seen it with your own eyes. “I know that he can be... coarse on the outside but- but he really is a good person.” At least, that was what you hoped. Maybe it was wishful thinking, but nobody was that heartless even in the Fatui. There was good in Lord Scaramouche The Balladeer and even if it was only reserved for children who didn’t know any better, that was still something. “He’s always gentle with them. If they do something wrong or silly, his tells them lightly before making them smile. Or he’ll even by random kid’s new kites if they lose one. It’s... sweet.”

Even the smallest acorn can grow into the largest oak, your grandmother would say.

Maybe, instead of coal, Scaramouche’s heart was an acorn. Small for now, but it would grow into an oak one day. 

You took a large gulp of your tea, pointedly avoiding looking anywhere in the direction of Scaramouche’s face. You didn’t want to even imagine the expression he was making. Please just leave it there, Mrs. Wang, I have to go back home with him.

Mrs. Wang only sighed, “well if you insist.” She murmured, resigned. The woman spared a glance in the direction of the Harbinger. “You remind me of my sister and her spouse. They didn’t seem compatible in the slightest but no one was as in love as they w-”

“That’s it, we’re leaving.” Scaramouche stood abruptly leaving his half-finished drink and jade parcels at the table. “Grab our things.”

You looked at your plate then at your superior, wondering if you should just shove the rest in your mouth and hope you didn’t choke. “But we haven’t even finished the rest of the paddies!”

“Oh it’s fine, dear.” Mrs. Wang reassured you, waving you off. “Plenty got done today. I’ll ask my grandson to help with the rest. Of course, you’re free to come back any time!” Her brown eyes twinkled with mischief. “I’d love for you to meet him!”

“They won’t be back here!” Scaramouche snapped quickly, an accusing finger pointed at you. The red on his face had to be anger at the amount of assumptions Mrs. Wang was making. “Swear on this woman’s life that you won’t come back to this hovel and meet any kin of hers!”

Mrs. Wang laughed before you could answer, not that you knew how too. “Best hold onto them tightly then before someone else ups and sweep them off their feet.”

Okay, time to go. You pursed your lips, wanting to fling yourself into the sun. Grabbing the bag with both of your clothes, you trailed after your Harbinger hoping that he wouldn’t smite you before you made it back.

“That old crone.” Scaramouche seethed as you finally departed from the quiet village. “Who does she think she is?! Making me tend to those pitiful weeds.” You quietly pursed your lips finding the wild jueyun chilis more interesting to look at as the Harbinger ranted on. You nearly crashed right into his chest with how suddenly he turned to glare at you. “And you only made things worse! Lying to her about all these qualities you see in me! You should have just said we weren’t a couple!”

“Wha- I wasn’t lying!” You cried indignantly before you could help yourself, much to the surprise to the both of you. And you could have cleared things up with her too! “I meant what I told Mrs. Wang, I like all of those things about you!” Begrudgingly. “Handsome, strong, good with children. You’re all of those things! You just... cover it up in all the mean.” Not that you understood why. “You’re like a cactus, trying to protect itself. But a cactus still isn’t covered entirely in thorns. It’s got soft spots and those soft spots are nice. You’re soft spots are nice.”

Then you froze, realizing you talked back to your superior. I compared this man to a cactus! I said he was S O F T! “I-I’m so sorry!” You sputter immediately bowing so quickly you were sure your back cracked. “I forget myself, I shouldn’t have spoken to you out of turn! You’re not soft or a cactus!”

Your heart was beating faster than you could count as you waited for his response. As you waited for him to do anything. 

Berate you.

Zap you.

Waiting was quite honestly the scary part.

“J-just stop talking.” He finally grumbled and you blinked in surprise, looking up. The look on Scaramouche’s face was certainly disgruntled, just not in the way you were expecting. You were used to sharp eyes and lips furled into a frown. Instead, a dusty hand covered a pink flush spreading across his face and his eyes, while sharp, lacked the usual disdain he seemed to have for everyone. Is he...? “And stop looking at me! You’re worse than that hag.”

With that, he turned around and continued stomping off to your divisions’ living quarters as you stood there stupefied.

Wow.

Lord Scaramouche, embarrassed.

You half-expected it to start raining sunsettias and apples at this point. You hurried after him, careful to stay a few feet behind.

With a more than a hint of finality, Scaramouche barked, “If anyone asks, you were a clumsy fool and you dragged me down with you.”

“Yes, sir.” You weren’t sure if they would find that or the truth more believable. You covered your mouth, trying to fight back the laughter. You didn’t want to test the mercy he was giving you with his newfound flusteredness. 

Yeah, you think with a smile. Maybe Lord Scaramouche isn’t so bad after all.