#knock knock joke

[spacejawa]

Sometimes you delve into the comments the comments actually reward you.

[obby98]

What kind of music does a cradle like?

Rock music.

[writerofweird]

PSA to all cows

You can say "who" instead of "moo" if you want to. Be yourself and do what makes you happy.

Interrupting people is pretty annoying.

[xlntwtch2]

[codeunderscore404dashcom]

The assassin and the lumberjack

Assassin next to a half-cut tree: Knock, knock. Lumberjack looking away from the tree: Who's there? Assassin putting his hands on the tree: Tim

Lumberjack: Tim who? Assassin pushing the tree: TIMBERRRRRRR Splat

[foldingfittedsheets]

I was a pretty sickly kid. I'm a pretty sickly adult too I guess. But one of the issues I had was constant ear infections. I almost went deaf because I just had near continuous swelling and inflammation going on. I had tubes in my ears twice because they fell out the first time.

If you're unfamiliar that's where they put a tiny gauge in your inner ear to help force it open. It's meant to stop water getting trapped back there. I had to put wax in my ears before contact with pools, baths, showers, anything, for years, to prevent water from slinking through that narrow channel and festering long enough to spawn bacteria.

It was miserable. To this day my inner ear is blighted with so much scar tissue that every single ear exam the doctor goes, "Woah." You never want to hear a doctor say woah. It's never good.

Eventually my constant rounds of antibiotics and misery was pinned on my tonsils. A doctor declared there was just too much ick hiding out in there and they had to go. I was about five or six at the time. Having surgery as a little kid is already pretty scary but I was determined to be brave. I'd already had vacuum suction tools used on my inner ear weekly a practice so painful it's banned now. I was also promised a coveted troll dinosaur for good behavior.

So I walked tremulously into the hospital to have an organ removed. By all accounts I comported myself admirably. Afterward I was coming out of anesthesia quite slowly. The nurse was carrying me back to my parents when I rasped a whispery, "Knock knock," at her.

She paused and looked down at me, "What?"

A little stronger I repeated, "Knock knock."

She was shocked her tiny patient was trying to tell a joke while higher than a kite but dutifully said, "Who's there?"

"Adam," I said in a wavery little voice.

She leaned closer to hear me, "Adam who?"

I bellowed through my raw throat, still freshly bleeding from surgery, "Adam my way, I'm gettin' outta here!"

The nurse had to stop she was laughing so hard and she was in hysterics when she delivered me back to me parents, repeating the whole episode to them, turning their anxiety into delight that their doped up child was a comedy genius.

No one knew where I'd learned the joke, but it was a staple story throughout my childhood.

[egophiliac]

The cut they did with the latest chapter...Malleus was straight up a HORROR VILLAIN IN THE BEST AND MOST TERRIFYING WAY EVER.

"You're 'awake', aren't you, Shroud?" CHILLS LITERAL CHILLS

now, let's be fair to Malleus, he started out very politely! a dainty little knock on Idia's door. graciously allow a couple of minutes to give him a chance to realize that his rebellion is futile and all shall succumb in the end. then, when that doesn't work, a firmer but still unquestionably mannerly knock. then just straight-up haunting his shit

honestly, there was a surprising amount of Twst trying out just a little bit of horror movie in this one! like. you're having a nice cup of tea one minute and then it turns into Alice in Wonderland Does The Cube. everything's red for some reason. your friend's mom is actually a mass of giant shrieking arms rising from the depths to drown you in an ocean of chamomile. this is all a precursor to being hunted as the most dangerous game throughout a labyrinth by dopplegangers of your best friends. what's going on, Twst. are you okay.

[cursio-neptune]

Replaced.

<< First < Previous ~*~ Next >

You can see the the silly amount of effort I put into designing the knock-off characters here, lol.

[starry-bi-sky]

incorrect blood blossom au quotes

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Danny, as nightingale: *making horrific noise bombs* Nightingale: if i use this audio of the sun, reverse it, reverse it again, then layer it on top of these reconstructed dinosaur growls, and then drop the pitch, i can almost replicate the noise of a leviathan in the deep end of the zone :) Nightingale: some circles call this "psychological" warfare Nightingale: i call it a highly effective brown note

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Once Bruce's gimmick villains start popping up: Danny, gripping Bruce by the shoulders: Buzz. Buzz. listen to me. listen. Bruce: Danny: monologues? fuckin' wORK. you gotta let 'em monologue.

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Bruce: you incited a prison riot? Danny: you assaulted a police officer? Bruce: Danny: Bruce, trying not to smile: Bruce: actually, i assaulted three Danny, failing at trying not to smile: and i incited several

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Danny talking about cujo: —he’s a good dog! Bruce: im sensing a ‘but’ here Danny: ....you’re right there is a ‘but’ Bruce: hm. Danny: but, you know how ghosts have powers? Bruce: im assuming the dog has ghost powers. Danny: m. Mhm. he can become the size of a bus Bruce: … a h

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Bruce: wait. pause Danny, was about to drop Dad Lore on Bruce: Bruce: is this another horrifying thing from your childhood that im about to hear? Danny: Danny:…yeee..es? Bruce: *wearing the face of a man mentally preparing himself for whatever fucked up shit danny’s about to spit out of his mouth* hn Bruce: carry on

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Nightingale: be the karma you wanna see in the world. Nightingale: with a few tranquilizers, a slingshot, and some red paintballs, you too can trick the mob into thinking that they've been shot by Batman's sniper from hell! Nightingale, winking: they're not totally wrong about it either!

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Nightingale: I cant kick people in the face anymore thanks to the bone-eating poison Superman: the what- Nightingale: so i do the next best thing, and enact psychological warfare on Bat's enemies instead.

[furiouskettle]

this idea's been rattling around in my brain for FAR too long and i can't make it pay rent so im finally evicting it onto the page

I'll add the links to the rest of the pages under the readmore as I complete them!

[START] - You Are Here

[more WIP]

[obby98]

What does a transsexual morning person drive?

A trans AM.

[cozymochi]

do u think Nyoka would let me squeeze his boobas if i asked (nicely) 🥺🥺🥺

[seirindono]

The Missing Scarf (Interlude) - part 4

*Soul Soda (purple): The taste of fresh perseverence, made liquid and now sugar free.

(She borrowed clothes while her own are being mended)

First part | Prev | Next

Ko-fi | Patreon | Comic | Commissions  | To support the comic

[theshadowrealmitself]

Vulcan: I have found that when Humans are anxious and they are not comforted by statistics showing they are not actually in danger, the best way to calm them down is to tell them a joke, even if they are aware of how the joke goes, observe

Vulcan: *walks over to a nervous looking Human they know*

Vulcan: Knock knock

Human, already starting to smile: Who’s there?

Vulcan: Interrupting cow

Human, grinning: Interrupting co-

Vulcan, in the flattest tone in existence: Moooo

Human: *losing it*

[somegrumpynerd]

Cross has trouble getting to sleep alone in his room and goes looking for a distraction, but ends up finding a solution for both of them

[hometoursandotherstuff]

You know, it really is.