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readingandwritingandreading · 9 months ago

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Long Time Coming ~ Part 9

My Blurb: This is a longer one. I could have done two chapters but you guys have been so patient and waited long enough!

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the story. You own nothing, I don’t give anyone permission to post this anywhere.

Summary: Bucky had waited a long time to find an Omega. When Pepper introduces the team to her new assistant he knows shes the one.

Pairing: Alpha Bucky Barnes X OFC Omega Carina Rivera

Warnings: A/B/O Dynamics

Status: In Progress

Tagging: @ashes-writing | @pioched | @littlemissthistle | @pizgloria | @casa-boiardi

Read First: Long Time Coming Masterlist

Also Check Out: Main Masterlist

“Make sure the door is locked, keep your cell phone on you, not in your purse, on your person. If you need something off the compound, have it delivered to security, don’t leave…”

“Don’t leave the compound. Bucky, I will be fine. There’s nowhere safer than this compound right?” Carina kissed him after cutting him off. “And you’re only going to be gone a few days right?”

Bucky sighed, but nodded his head. They had spent the past two weeks holed up in Bucky’s, well now both of theirs apartment. The others had nauseatingly called it their honeymoon phase. The morning after he had claimed her, Carina woke up alone in bed to a bang and whispered cursing. Pulling on one of Bucky’s shirts and some sweats she had left their bedroom to find Sam rubbing his thigh while Bucky and Steve moved boxes around the living room. Upon closer inspection the boxes had been haphazardly packed with the contents of her apartment.

When she had mentioned that she could have helped if he had woken her, he had simply shrugged and mumbled something about “Tony needed the other place” before heading off to get the rest of her stuff. That night she had marked him and he had worn it openly and proudly at every opportunity.

They had heard the news the day before that Brock had somehow escaped and been spotted near a suspected Hydra facility in Venezuela. Bucky hadn’t been on a mission since he had claimed her but Brock’s escaping and joining Hydra had been an “all hands” call that he couldn’t ignore. He didn’t like the idea of leaving her but she should be safe here. He waved his hand at Fury who was yelling at him to get on the Quinjet, before kissing her and jogging over to the entrance. She stood with Pepper on the helipad and he watched her until she was out of sight.

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Waving to one of the tech's walking the opposite way, Carina stretched her arms and followed the trail. Waking up without Bucky by her side, combined with feeling the physical distance through their bond made her anxious so she had opted to try out the walking trail that wound around the compound. It had recently been extended and she had been itching to try it out.

Breathing deeply she enjoyed the fresh air as she continued on. Despite it being a nice day, she had only seen the tech on the path. Checking her phone, she smiled at the background picture of her and Bucky before sliding it back into the pocket on her leggings and continuing onward. As she approached an area where she could just make out the tall concrete and barbed wire fence that surrounded the compound, she heard a yowling sound accompanied by a low whine. It was coming from the edge of the treeline just off the trail. Looking around, Carina couldn’t see anyone nearby.

Her phone felt heavy in her pocket, Bucky would want her to let someone else take care of it, not go charging into the forest on her own. Biting her lip she looked up the trail again, still no one. Pulling her phone, she frowned when she saw the no service signal flash. Tony must not be aware of a dead spot on his compound. The poor animal made another pitiful moan and Carina’s omega instincts kicked in. She scented the air carefully, she couldn’t let whatever it was suffer the time it would take to run back and find someone. Not smelling anyone but herself and a mix of animals and nature she slowly headed towards the sound. Eyes focused on locating the injured animal she didn’t see or hear the shadow until it grabbed her, one arm covering her mouth while the other plunged a syringe straight into Bucky’s mark on her neck.

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“Lower level clear. Ow, fuck.” Bucky yelled, one hand leaving his gun to clutch Carina’s bite.

There was a mutter of sounds on the coms before Steve’s voice rang out. “Buck! You good? On way to your location.”

A few minutes later Steve rounded the corner to find Bucky leaning against the wall, hand still pressed to his neck, a look of pain and worry etched into his features. “Bucky, what’s wrong?” He yelled, looking for injuries.

“It’s our mating bond, something’s wrong.” Bucky grunted, pushing himself off the wall. “It feels like lava is being injected into the mark. I have to call Carina.” He accepted Steve’s help as they headed towards the jet.

Once outside, Natasha met them looking uncharacteristically worried. “There’s nothing here, we’ve run all the scans. The perimeter is fortified but that’s it. It’s a dud.”

Tony appeared from the jet, pausing before meeting Bucky’s eyes, “It was a distraction. Carina’s missing. Pepper said she went for a walk on the trail but her phone is going straight to voicemail and the location isn’t pinging anywhere. I launched a search of the compound but no one has found any sign of her yet.”

“We’re leaving now.” Bucky whispered but the coldness in his tone made everyone glance at each other nervously as he stalked towards the jet.

“Bucky, we need to figure out a plan.” Steve tried but Bucky whirled around cutting him off.

“Brock has my mate Steve, my omega, he set all this up to get me away from her.” He took a deep breath before continuing. “Where I wouldn’t be there to protect her.” His voice cracked at the end and Steve nodded, gesturing everyone to the jett.

The jett was a flurry of activity as Clint pushed it as fast as it could go and calls were made to the compound and surrounding area to track down any footage in the area.

“We don’t know for sure it was Brock, do we? Bucky should be able to use their bond and find her anyway, right?” Pepper’s face was worried on one of the screens.

“Who else could it be? We were called away because we thought he was out here, who else would know the best way to get her from the compound?” Bucky snapped, ignoring the warning look Tony shot him.

“Normally yes, Bucky would be able to use their bond” Dr. Strange interrupted, “But what he described sounds like they injected her with something to start dissolving the bond. It will immediately start weakening their conn….” he was cut off by Bucky’s roar of anger as he stalked towards the weapons.

“I made Brock a promise.” His voice was lethal as he loaded a gun.

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Carina groaned as she slowly came to. There was a bright light shining in her eyes but when she went to shield it, she realized her hands were bound. Turning her head to the side she whimpered as pain erupted from her mark.

“Ah good, you're awake.” Carina blinked again, squinting to see a figure step into the light, shielding her eyes but making him hard to see. He reached to a table off to the side and grabbed another syringe. “Just in time for another round.”

This woke her up and she tried to move away but found her feet bound as well. Thrashing to try and loosen them only caused him to laugh. Stepping fully into her line of vision she gasped when she saw Brock standing over her. “This isn’t possible, you were in Venezuela. They saw you there.”

“They saw my very convincing body double there. But he’s long gone. In fact you’re little friends are probably encountering our surprise right about now.” Brock laughed, leaning over her and catching her neck as she tried to thrash away from him. He was too strong though and she stifled a scream as he jabbed the needle into the mark, injecting her quickly with what felt like molten lava.

“What…what is that?” She gasped, gritting her teeth against the pain.

Brock smiled, tossing the now empty syringe on the table before taking a seat. “Well, with Bucky out of the way thanks to the little surprise we left them at the empty compound, I thought it would be easier for us if I started dissolving your bond to him.”

“What little surprise?” The way he said “us” made her skin crawl but her mind caught on to his earlier statement.

“A completely unidentifiable bomb, none of their scans will pick it up but it should be enough to take out a super soldier…or two. He tacked on with an evil grin.

A sob broke from Carina before she could stop it as she desperately searched their bond for Bucky. She had been able to feel him the last couple weeks, almost like his heartbeat was right next to her own but now she felt nothing as a wave of sadness overwhelmed her.

“There there now, just a few more injections and all this pain will be replaced with our bond. None of this would have happened if Bucky hadn’t stolen you away in the first place. But I will fix all of it. We can grow old together happily carrying out Hydra’s wishes.” Carina was horrified at the conviction in his voice, as if her relationship with Bucky was a minor inconvenience that he could sweep away.

“Where are we?” Carina stifled her emotions and sniffed the air, trying to get an idea of where he had taken her. She had no idea how long she had been out and there were no windows in the room.

“Far away from New York, where those pesky Avengers won’t be able to find you.” Brock smiled before standing and heading out a door. The click of the lock bolting filled her with dread. Bound in a locked room, far away from home, Carina hung her head as tears escaped down her face.

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It had taken three days for them to find any hint of where Carina could be. It was like she had vanished into thin air. Three days of feeling the agonizing burn through their weakening bond. Strange had informed him, from a distance, that every time he felt it meant she was likely receiving another dose. That thought had pushed Bucky harder than anything to figure out where she was. He has scoured the trail, finding the spot her location had last pinged from had uncovered a small speaker along with her crushed phone. Guessing she had been drawn off the trail by sounds from the speaker they searched the nearby area and discovered a tunnel made under the fence.

Much to Tony’s chagrin the area had managed to be cloaked from their radar, creating a dead spot that went undetected. Tracing the equipment had led them to the only break in the case. The company that made it was suspected Hydra so they pulled all the surveillance they had from the company. Combing through it they found a video of a man who, while heavily disguised, they were pretty sure had been Brock.

Tracking a trail of information on the vehicle had led them to a cabin nestled in a secluded forest in Idaho. Despite his desire to go in guns and fists blazing, Bucky had let Steve and the team do a sweep of the area. With their knowledge of the cloaking device Brock had left behind they were able to get through it and realize the cabin was just for show. It led to an underground bunker, where they assumed Carina was being held.

Knowing they had surprise on their side gave Bucky enough patience to wait as well. When they had left Venezuela, another team was sent in to destroy the base so it couldn’t be used in the future. They had found a bomb that would have taken out the whole team. Hoping it would cause Brock to lessen his security, Pepper had made a public statement that the former Winter Soldier, James Barnes had perished in the blast.

“Heat signatures look like a handful of mercenaries, they aren’t expecting us.” Natasha lowered the binoculars, turning to look at Steve and Bucky. Bucky had wanted to go alone but had finally relented and allowed Steve and Natasha to join him.

Cocking his gun Bucky nodded, “Take out whoever you want. Brock is mine. If anything happens, get Carina out.” He locked eyes with both of them before proceeding towards the cabin.

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A series of thumps above her head drew Carina out of her head. She had become aware at some point that she must be in a basement and that Brock wasn’t the only one in residence. She wasn’t sure how long she had been in this room but it felt like days. Brock came regularly. He refused to untie her after she had lashed out when he let her use the restroom. Since then he fed her by hand, it made her skin crawl but she had to keep up her strength somehow. He had offered to let her shower if he could join her but she had adamantly refused even though she was filthy.

The room was sparse including only a bed, table and chair. Most of her time was spent in the bed since her feet were still bound and the pain from the injections usually made her exhausted. She was glad for the sleep though, the agony of being awake knowing that Bucky was gone was overwhelming. Brock had barged in triumphantly slamming a newspaper down in front of her. A picture of Bucky on the front along with a release from Pepper’s office. She had sobbed, not even fighting Brock when he had injected her again.

Carina shuddered as she heard footsteps outside the door, jumping when Brock burst in looking pissed and waving a gun. He pulled her to her feet, practically dragging her out the door, a string of curses tumbling out of his mouth when he realized she couldn’t climb the stairs with her feet bound. Pulling a knife from his pocket he cut the ropes and pushed her up the stairs.

She stumbled up them as his gun dug into her back, she couldn’t use her hands and her legs were sore from being bound for days. Reaching the top, he shoved her into a small room and she gasped seeing Steve and Natasha taking out two guys, there were several other bodies on the floor. They must have heard her because they both turned and stepped towards her but stopped when Brock pressed the gun to her temple and pulled her back against his chest.

“Let her go Brock, we aren’t letting you take her.” Steve’s voice was full of authority.

“She belongs to me, I was going to make this nice for her. But you two have forced my hand.” Carina tried to resist as he pushed her head to the side with the gun and lowered his mouth to her neck. She felt his hot breath and saw the shock on Steve & Natasha’s face but then a loud shot rang out. Brock went down, pulling her with him. Natasha and Steve were there in a flash, Steve was pulling Brock off her while Natasha pulled her away from him, quickly slicing the ropes on her wrists. Her eyes were locked on the door as a figure stepped through and headed straight towards Brock.

“You don’t have to do this, we can take him in.” Steve said it softly, as if he felt he needed to but didn’t agree with the sentiment.

Brock growled through clenched teeth and fury flashed in his eyes as Bucky pulled a pistol from his hip holster, “I made him a promise once, touch my omega again.” Bucky aimed and pulled the trigger, everyone but him flinching as the shot echoed and Brock dropped with a thud.

“Bucky?” Carina sobbed as she tried to get to her feet, her legs giving out immediately. He dropped his gaze from Brock and hurried over to her and pulled her into his arms.

“I’m here,” he kissed her forehead as her face crumpled and she fell into his neck, breathing his scent in deeply. “Let’s go home.” Carina nodded in his arms and wrapped herself around him.

#micole writes things now #bucky barnes #alpha!bucky barnes #long time coming #alpha!bucky #bucky barnes x ofc #bucky barnes x original female character #james buchanan barnes

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hopefulromances · 1 year ago

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Long Time Coming I Chapter 13 I The Man

Summary: Being hired as the first female assistant coach in the league was a challenge of it itself. Being a football prodigy and University Football Legend was easy enough. Coaching Jamie Tartt was a challenge all on its own.

Chapter Summary: Reader is given an award. Jamie is supportive

Word Count: 5.2K

Warning: Some sexism hehehe

A/N: Plot plot plot! But there's some of my favorite jamie x reader moments in this one. Next is Amsterdam!!!!

Prologue One Two Three Four Five Six Seven Eight Nine Ten Eleven Twelve

I woke up alone. Now this was something I was used to at this point. Ever since Jamie had started doing his early morning runs with Roy, we hadn’t been spending as many nights together. Not that I liked it, but it was something I was getting used to.

My alarm went off at 6:00, as per usual. I did some yoga, showered, then was brushing my teeth when I got an unexpected text from Rebecca. It read:

Please come to my office when you get in today.

Hm. That was an unusual text to get from your boss at 7:30 in the morning. I racked my brain trying to think of something I’d done to get a talking to. Yeah, it hadn’t been a great month for us, but it wasn’t anything I’d particularly done.

I finished up with my skin care and decided to head into work early to get whatever this was over with. I arrived at the club not much later, waving at the caretaker as I walked in. The walk up the stairs to Rebecca’s office felt excruciating.

But when I arrived there, it wasn’t just her. I opened the door and there was Higgins, Keeley, and Ted sitting in front of her desk.

“Good morning, guys,” I entered approaching the group. “I didn’t know it was a party.”

“(Y/N)!” They all greeted in unison.

“Ah, that wasn’t creepy at all!” I laughed, trying not to show my nerves.

Rebecca motioned to a third seat. “Please, take a seat.”

I took off my backpack as I sat, holding it in front of me. “I’m not getting fired, am I? Oh my god, you’re firing me?”

“What? Oh heavens, no!” Rebecca dismissed, shaking her hands. “Why on earth would you think that.”

“Well, its all of you here, and I just walked in and thought it, I don’t know!” I shook my head. “If you’re not firing me, what are you doing?”

They all exchanged looks excitement filling their eyes.

“Oooo go on! Tell her!” Keeley insisted, clapping her hands.

“Tell me what?”

“The anticipation is killing me!” Higgins chimed in.

“What anticipation?”

“She doesn’t even know what’s about to hit her!” Ted added.

“Please just tell me what’s going on before I kill someone!” I was practically shaking at his point.

“Oh, alright,” Rebecca addressed me finally. “(Y/N), the league is honoring you with Coach of the Month!”

The group all cheered as I took in the information.

“We have a press conference this afternoon,” Keeley told me. “We’ll brief you on everything you’ll need to do but we are just so excited for you!”

“Couldn’t be happier for you,” Ted smiled. “You’re part of what makes this team great!”

“Of course, she is! I hired her!” Rebecca hummed proudly. “I always knew you’d be great.”

I frowned. This wasn’t right. None of this was right. They kept talking at me about what was going to happen. An interview, a photoshoot, a magazine cover but all it sounded like I was underwater. I had to get out of this room.

I stood up, grabbing my bag and leaving without so much as a word. I hurried down the stairs and outside into the car park. Why was I so upset? Why couldn’t part of me just be happy about this? I heard the door open behind me and I knew one of them had followed me.

“Look, now I know emotions are a subjective thing, but I don’t know usually there’s at least a smile when you get a cool award.” Ah Ted. Just the person I didn’t want to see right now.

I shook my head. “Please, Ted. I don’t want to do this right now.”

“Now, I’m confused. What exactly aren’t we doing?” Ted asked, shoving his hands in his pockets.

“This!” I shouted, pointing between him and me. “You giving me some anecdote about how I’m good enough and how I earned this because you and I both know that isn’t true.”

Ted furrowed his eyebrows. “What are you talking about?”

“I know why Rebecca hired you.” The statement hung in the air. The truth behind the whole operation at Richmond. The secret I’d overheard in the coach’s office at the end of Ted’s first season with us. “And it’s the same reason she hired me.” Ted paused, nodding his head. I couldn’t help but let out an ironic laugh at the situation. “We both know that I was hired because she thought it would make us lose.”

Rebecca, so overcome with her hatred of Rupert, hired Ted and Beard and I because she thought it would make the worst coaching team. We would drive the team into the ground ruining Rupert’s favorite team. This was something I tried to ignore but since finding out it seem to legitimize some of people shouted at me on the internet and what Max had said to me before I left. I wasn’t meant to be here. I wasn’t saving the league. I was just a girl pretending to know what I was doing.

“Now, (Y/N), I don’t know what you think you heard but-“

“Please cut the bullshit, Ted,” I snapped, cutting him off. “I’ve worked really hard to get past it, but I don’t deserve an award when I’ve done nothing to earn it.”

Ted’s mustache twitched. “You’re right. Rebecca hired both of us to make some point to Rupert. That is true. But something else that’s true is that you’ve consistently proved her wrong at every turn.” I opened my mouth to say something, but Ted held up his hand. “Now, you might not see it, but Beard and I and even Roy, we all depend on you to keep this whole thing afloat.”

I let out a breath and wipe at my lips as I stare at him. I certainly hadn’t been feeling like that recently. Since the West Ham match, we’d been on a losing streak, and I’d been so in my head about all of it that I couldn’t do my job.

“I just…” I swallowed hard. “I don’t know what I’m doing here anymore Ted. And this Coach of the Month is just another bullshit excuse for me to know that I’m not meant to be here.”

All I could hear in my head was the sound of my failed dreams and Max’s taunts and the paper missing the bin over and over and over again.

“Hey (Y/N),” Ted’s voice appeared much closer than I thought he would be. “Do you remember that puzzle metaphor I told you about?” I scrunched my face up, nodding my head. “Well, that metaphor has a lot of different meanings. Maybe you should try to put it together again.”

I let out a frustrated sigh. “Can’t you just tell me what you mean for once, Ted?”

“I mean,” He chuckled at my frustration. “You’re stuck in a rut, yeah? So, instead of trying to put the puzzle back together the same way over and over again… maybe you were putting it together the wrong way. Maybe you need to… try something new. And maybe…” He nudged me, forcing me to look over at him. “Maybe you should let someone help you put that puzzle together.”

I still didn’t get it. Well not fully. But I think I understood the gist of it. The funny thing was as we were staring at each other, Roy and Jamie came running up. Jamie smiled at Ted and I coming to run in circles around us.

“Mornin’ Coaches,” He smiled, starting to run in place.

“Tartt! You’re not done yet! Get to the training room and start lifting.” Roy followed up; a bit slower.

Jamie groaned loudly. “I ain’t even stopped or nuthin’. I were just sayin’ hi.”

“Go!” Roy barked, pointing towards the door.

Jamie rolled his eyes dramatically before shooting Ted and I a wink. Roy shook his head as Jamie made his way inside, seemingly off to the training room.

“Mornin’ Roy, good training with Jamie?” Ted asked Roy.

“As good as it can be,” Roy grunted. “What are you two doin’ out here?”

Ted looked over at me, motioning for me to tell him. I shook my head at him, grunting that I wouldn’t. Ted hummed back that I absolutely would and that we wouldn’t leave until I said it. I let out a huff.

“The leagues giving me some bullshit title of Coach of the Month that doesn’t actually mean anything but they’re making a big deal out of it,” I informed Roy finally.

He grunted is a way that sounded vaguely positive. “Good for you.”

“Fuck off.”

“Alright.”

The day was filled with Keeley throwing me through the PR wringer. What to expect, what to say, what not to say. I wasn’t super excited about it, but Ted’s words were rolling around in my head. I hated puzzles. I’d never liked them. I thought I’d figured out Jamie’s puzzle but now there was another puzzle. When would it end.

“Okay, the most important bit is the press brief we have this afternoon. They’ll bring in you and some of the lads to talk about you as a coach,” Keeley told me, writing down some notes.

“What will they be asking?” I questioned, trying to look over her shoulder.

“Oi don’t be looking over my shoulder,” she reprimanded, shouldering me away. I pouted, crossing my arms over my chest. “They’ll ask you probably your normal annoying questions about being a woman, but also about the team and such.”

I grumbled. “I didn’t hear them asking Pep what it was like being bald why do I have to talk about being a woman.”

“That’s because no one cares what it’s like being bald,” Keeley pointed out, giggling. “Being a woman is actually interesting.”

“Is it really?” I rolled my eyes. “So, uh… what guys will be coming to talk about me?”

Keeley hummed as she flipped her notebook shut. “I dunno, I was gonna ask to see who wanted to later. Do you have anyone in mind?”

Yeah. Yeah, I did. “No, I don’t want to force anyone to do it.”

“Sure. And Ted is gonna introduce you, of course.”

“And this is all happening tomorrow?” I pushed out of my chair. I’d already waisted the whole day, I at least wanted to get to the end of training.

“Yup!” Keeley smiled at me. “Don’t stress, you’re gonna be great.”

I shot her a sarcastic smile. “Oh yeah, I’m gonna love it. It’s gonna be amazing.”

…

Later that night, I was resting in Jamie’s lap. I felt goosebumps spreading over my body as Jamie’s hand stroked my stomach lazily. On the TV, an episode of New Girl that I’d seen hundreds of times played but I wasn’t really paying attention.

“Jamie…” He hummed, letting me know he was listening. “Did they tell you about this… Coach of the Month thing?”

His face broke out into a smile as he looked down at me. “Yeah, it’s great, innit? So, fucking proud of you.” He tightened his grip around my waist, shaking me proudly.

I found myself blushing at his praise. Even though I thought it was kind of stupid, Jamie being proud of me was affecting my happiness a little too much.

“Yeah… I guess… I don’t know what I think about it,” I admitted, rolling so I was looking up at him. He cocked his head, motioning me to continue. “I guess, I just don’t know if it’s because I’m a good coach or if it’s because I’m a woman or whatever.”

Jamie scrunched up his face pursing his lips in confusion. “What… why would they do that?

“I don’t know to make themselves look better?” I sighed, lifting myself off his lap and leaning forward. I ran a hand through my hair. “I just… I’m not sure I’m ready to go out in front of all those people and talk about myself.”

Jamie leaned forward so his shoulder was touching mine, stretching his neck so he could try and rest it on my shoulder.

“What are you doing?” I asked, looking over at him.

“’m trying to comfort you, you daft idiot,” he explained, rubbing his cheek on your shoulder.

“You’re acting like a cat,” I crowed, trying to push him off of me. But he wrapped his arm around mine arm pulling me into him, rubbing his cheek all over my shoulder and neck. “Stop!”

He grabbed my legs and pulled them up into his lap, pulling me so I was sitting on him.

“Look, whatever happens tomorrow, just know that me,” he pressed his cheek into mine. “And the rest of the lads know how amazing you are. Not just as a coach but as a person. But especially as a coach.”

I giggled, pressing back into him. “What about you Jamie? How are you feeling about playing Man City this week?’

He shrugged. “My stats level up against Man City. They’ve played well this year but we’ve got the ability to win.”

“No, Jamie… I mean,” I turned around, so I was facing him, my legs now straddling his waist. “How do you feel, like you.”

He frowned, his nose scrunching up in a way that was far too cute for one man. “I feel… uh… I feel fine.”

I reached up and rubbed the space between his eyes. “I don’t think you do babes, you’re gonna give yourself wrinkles.”

He rolled his eyes, leaning his neck back. His neck was so exposed, it was so tempting to just… lean forward and kiss his Adam’s apple. I looked up and decided to play a little bit. I leaned forward and kissed him, right on the bottom of his neck where the skin sunk in a little bit. He hummed, the vibrations tickling my mouth.

“Jamie, baby,” I murmured, kissing up his neck, finally finding his Adam’s apple. He groaned in response. “C’mon, I want you to talk to me.”

“Can’t talk when you’re kissing me like that,” he croaked, his voice deep and gravely. So, I stopped, pulling away from him completely. “Hey! Wait!”

I started to slide off of him, but he wrapped his hands around my waist and yanked me closer to him. He buried his head in my neck kissing me furiously. I shrieked grabbing onto his hair to tug him back.

“Jamie, if you talk to me I’ll give you the best blow job of your life,” you waggled your eyebrows at him.

He whined, cracking his neck back and forth before slouching back. “I feel… fine. I guess. Haven’t heard from me dad in a while. It’s not like… I’m afraid he’s gonna be there but not knowing is worse.” I nodded at him, rubbing his collarbones. “But fuckin’ Zava’s probably gonna take the attention anyways.”

I gave him a sympathetic smile. “Well, it’s okay to be worried about your dad but… we’re at home. We’re on your turf. He doesn’t even need to be allowed in if you don’t want.”

“I’m not gonna ban me dad,” Jamie grumbled. “I just… want to know.”

I nodded again. I gave him a satisfied smile before pulling him down into me to make good on my promise.

He wanted to stay over that night, but I insisted that I wanted to maintain my regular routine for the next day. But laying in my bed that night, staring up at the fan, I wished he was there with me.

I arrived at the club early. Like 6:30am early. The groundskeeper had barely arrived by the time I got there. But I was nervous. I’d been able to avoid press conferences, manage photo events and stay in my lane for the most part but today it was all on me. And why was I wasting a day doing this when we had out Man City game this weekend, I’ll never know.

“Oh, my god, how long have you been here?” Keeley asked, handing me a coffee as she walked into the press room.

“Since 6:30, I couldn’t sleep,” I told her accepting the drink gratefully.

Keeley clicked her tongue at me soothingly. “It’s gonna be alright, you’ve got this. I just want you to be yourself up there, yeah? We’re starting with the photo shoot first today, the press conference will be this afternoon, when the boys are free.”

And that came faster than I expected. After a long day of cameras and poking and prodding I was left staring at the door of the press room. I could practically hear it, the flashing of the cameras, I could feel it, the stares of the journalists waiting for me to slip up, waiting for their next scoop. Ted was in there right now, talking me up. I picked at my thumbs, trying to steady my breath but I was struggling to find it. I felt like my head was buzzing, and that my heart was moving at a thousand beats per second. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to drown out the now blinding florescent lights.

Suddenly arms were wrapping around me, holding me so tight. “Hey, it’s okay, I got you.”

Jamie. I immediately latched onto him. I didn’t care if we were in public, I didn’t care if someone from the press room got a peak at this, all I cared about was Jamie’s steady heartbeat helping me regain my control.

“There you go,” He murmured, lips brushing against my temple. “Just breath, love.” I did as he instructed, finally finding the control of my breathing. I let myself blink my eyes open and look up at Jamie. He smiled at me, brushing some of the hair out of my face. “There she is.”

“Hi, Jamie,” I squeaked at him, resting my chin on his chest.

“You know it’s kinda nice seeing you be the needy one for once,” he said to you.

I gaped at him, scoffing. “Don’t say that, I’m having a panic attack and you’re gloating?”

“I gotta take it where I can find it,” He chuckled. Then he leaned down and kissed my temple, his lips lingering there. “You’re gonna be amazing in there.”

“What if I’m not… what they want?” I croaked. “What if I mess up or do something stupid.”

“It would be right funny if you did that!” You gasped and hit his chest. “Hey! That hurt. I’m just sayin that you could become a meme.”

“Jamie!”

“Alright, alright, jus’ there’s no way they won’t want you cause… I mean you’re everything there is to want,” Jamie noted, as if it was easy, as if it was simple.

I felt that breathless feeling again but this time it wasn’t because of panic, it was because of Jamie. I smiled with my lips tucked, looking between his eyes before reaching up and kissing him. He kissed me tenderly, softly. In a way that made me hum in contentment. I probably would have stayed like that if it weren’t for the next intrusion.

“Oi!” Roy’s voice made us jump apart. “If the two of you want to keep this a secret, then you better stop kissing in the fucking hallway.” He growled as he marched towards us. “Tartt, go get changed you’re gotta be in there in 5 minutes.”

I looked over at Jamie surprised. “You’re coming to talk about me?”

“Obviously?” He stated, rolling his eyes. “Even if we weren’t dating, you’d still be my best friend.” I just about melted at that one.

“Uuuuuugggggghhhhhhhhh,” Roy groaned loudly, grabbing Jamie by the arm and starting to drag him down the hallway. “Good luck, (Y/N).”

I laughed, covering my face as I watched them go. Then the door to the press room opened and Keeley poke her head out.

“You ready, babes?”

I watched Jamie disappear into the locker room and I felt that tell-tale flutter in my chest. I felt okay. I was going to be okay.

“Yeah, let’s do it.”

She pulled me into the room as Ted was finishing up his speech.

“(Y/N) (L/N) has overcome incredible odds. And she has done it with a smile. So, without further ado, it is my honor to present you with (Y/N) (L/N)!”

I walked up on the stage to scattered applause. I waved hesitantly sitting down in front of the microphone. As I did, they all flooded the stage putting up their own recording devices. My eyes darted around the room at the different reporters until they landed on the back of the room where Rebecca, Higgins, Trent, and Keeley stood. I nodded at them, glad to have some friendly faces in the room.

“Uh… hi! I’m (Y/N) (L/N)…” I started, looking around to focus on someone. How did Ted do this? “I’m happy to be chosen as the Premier League’s Coach of the Month. Uh… does anyone have any questions?’ Immediately the room exploded as all their hands raised up. “Um okay you, in the front row.”

“Hi Ms. (Y/N)-“

“It’s Coach (L/N).”

“As a woman, what do you think the league can do to work on intersectionality across the teams?”

I furrowed my eyes brows. “That question doesn’t even make sense.”

Again, the hands raised, everyone calling out my name. I pointed to someone in the back.

“Coach, do you think being a woman has enhanced your ability to coach men or made it more difficult to understand the difficulties of being men in sports?”

“That’s like two questions shoved into one and the answer is no.”

“Coach (L/N), when you applied for the job here at Richmond did you do it to prove a point?”

“What? That’s not-“

“Where do you think the feature of the league is in terms of gender equality?”

This was going about as well as I thought it was going to be. I let out a frustrated sigh as they continued to shout questions at me. In the back of the room a door opened and in walked Colin, Sam, and Jamie. Colin waved at me, crossing his arms at his space in the back. I looked across the back of the room, at Ted and Keeley, Colin and Sam, and Jamie. The people in my life that made this possible. That made me possible.

“Okay, okay, everyone listen up,” I announced, hitting my hand on the table. The room went quiet. I shot Keeley an apologetic glance before taking a deep breath. “Listen, I didn’t take this job because I wanted to make some big statement about feminism or gender inequality or intersectionality. I took the job because I wanted to play football for money, just like any of the lads on the team.”

“And if you really cared about gender equality, you’d be talking to the many female coaches that coach the women’s league. Or the many female players? Why don’t we talk about the wage inequality when the women win more games? That’s what you should be asking me about!”

I leaned back in my chair and looked around the room. The reporters were all silent until one, Marcus Adebayo, raised his hand.

“Yeah, Marcus,” I called on him.

“Coach (L/N), how do you feel about Richmond’s chances against Man City on this weekend?” He asked, pen at the ready.

I paused for a second, let out a huff. “Thank you, you know Man City has kept us down for a long time, but I think our chances look good.”

…

Our chances were not good. The game was bad play after bad play, the boys were just not at their best. You wanted to blame it on Zava, the bastard decided to retire without telling anyone and didn’t even show up to the game. It was depressing and everyone felt it.

“Yeah… it was tough out there today,” I said to the reporter after the game.

“You are Premiere League’s Coach of the Month; do you feel like there was something more you could have done to secure this win?” The reporter asked bluntly.

“That’s somewhat of a redundant question. I’m an assistant coach. I do the best I can, but the boys are the ones who need to win, and they just didn’t have it today.” I replied, shrugging. “That’s all I have time for, sorry.”

I left the reporters with a small smile and started towards the locker room running a hand through my hair. This had been tough, and Keeley hadn’t been able to show up. Something about Shandy and a baby lamb and a lot of poop. I’m sure I’d hear about it more later. But for now, I walked into the depressing atmosphere that was the locker room.

I looked around the room, the boys sat silently in their despair. Jamie sat on the floor in front of his cubby like he did when he was upset. I glanced over at Bead and Roy who gave me a pair of sad smiles back. I looked over at Zava’s empty cubbies and frowned. I hated Zava. To come here and bring these boys hope then abandon them without a word I’d never be able to forgive him for that.

“Gentlemen, Hey,” Ted Emerged from the office. “That was a tought on tonight. Okay? Man City has still got our number. That… that’s all right.” The boys murmured a sad response. “We’re gonna get another crack at them later in the season. Uh-huh. Coach,” He addressed Beard. “No practice tomorrow yeah?”

“That’s right”

“Okay, well, I’ll see y’all on Monday,” Ted finished starting to turn around.

“Hey, hey. Hey Coach!” Sam spoke up. “What about Zava? He quit the team.”

I looked back over at Ted, wondering the same question myself. Ted sputtered a moment before answering. “Technically he retired from the whole sport, which does make it feel a little less personal, yeah? You know, like if, uh, your girlfriend runs off with some dude and it turns out they were soul mates.”

Again the boys grumbled a response, something about Gina Gershon was in the mix but it was mostly positive. I thought Ted might end it there, but he didn’t.

“Look. I hear you, okay? Zava is gone. And You what? I think it’s a good thing.” I perked up, interested to see where he was going with this. “Well, I do! Okay, look. Do I wanna win? Heck yeah? But I also wanna do it with folks that wanna be here.” I nodded, agreeing with his sentiment. “It’s not like we could handcuff him to his locker and make him love us.”

“We could have tried,” Dani cried from his spot. I could help but let out a chuckle, knowing that he really meant it.

“Hey, guys, look,” Ted regained their attention. “We got a good thing going here. Alright? We didn’t need Zava. Yeah?” Ted looked over at Jamie who nodded. I felt my heart warm knowing Ted was using Jamie’s words to encourage the team. “All we need to win are the fellas in this room right now. And all you fellas need to do is believe it.”

Just as he spoke the believe sign behind him fell, the torn pieces revealing themselves. The boys all starting clamoring shouting in fear.

“It’s a sign!” Bumbercatch shouted.

“That’s it. We’re doomed,” Colin agreed.

In the moment it was hard to disagree with them. Things hadn’t been great recently. And this just felt like the final nail in the coffin.

“Hey, knock it off, okay? We’re not doomed. No one is doomed,” Ted putting his hands up to calm everyone. “But, Bumbercatch, yes, you’re right. It is a sign. I agree.” He took down the two pieces and ripped them in half. I felt myself reaching out to stop him, not even knowing I was doing it, but surprisingly, Jamie’s hand on my leg stopped me. I looked down at him and he nodded towards Ted. “Belief doesn’t just happen cause you hang something up on a wall. Alright? It comes from in here.” He pointed at his chest. “And up here,” at his head, “ and down here.” At his stomach.

“Only problem is, we all got so much junk floating through us, a lot of time we end up getting in our own way. You crap like envy, or fear, or shame.” I swallowed hard, biting my lip. I knew he was right, I’d been letting my fear and shame of who I was get in the way of my happiness. Of my abilities as a coach. “I don’t wanna mess around with that shit anymore. Do you?”

We all shook our heads, some of the lads responding with a ‘no’, or a ‘no, coach’

“No, me neither. Hell no. Well, you know what I wanna mess around with? The belief that I matter, you know? Regardless of what I do or don’t achieve. Or the belief that we all deserbe to be loved. Whether we’ve been hurt or maybe we’ve hurt somebody else.”

“Or what about the belief of hope? Yeah? That’s what I wanna mess with. Believing that things can get better. That I can get better. That we will get better. Oh, man. To believe in yourself. To believe in one another. Man, that’s… that’s fundamental to being alive. And look. If you can do that, if each of you can truly do that…” He ripped the sign in half again. “Can’t nobody rip that apart.”

With that he walked over to the middle divider and slapped the ripped-up sign down on top of it.

“See y’all, Monday?”

The whole team responded with a ‘Yes, Coach’ before turning back to their cubbies to get ready to leave. But I stayed there. Staring at the broken sign. I wanted to believe. I needed to believe. And this team, these people, they helped me believe. Come what may, this whole room had my back.

…

I was still thinking about it as I arrived home that night. I didn’t expect Jamie to come over, it’d been a long day and he was waking up early still to do extra training. So, when he knocked on my door, I was surprised.

“Jamie? What are you doing here.” I asked him, pulling him inside.

“I wanna tell people about us,” He answered quickly. My eyes widened. “I know why you’ve been wanting to keep it a secret and I get that; I do. But… what Ted said today I just… I believe in us. I believe in you making me a better person and I don’t… I don’t want to hide that anymore.”

I stared at him, unsure of how to respond. I didn’t know if I was ready yet for the whole world to know. For ours to become theirs. I loved Jamie, I really did but what if it changed too much. Or worse, what if people tore us apart. Luckily Jamie continued speaking before I could answer.

“You don’t have to decide right now. I just wanted to put it out there.” He nodded at me before leaning down and kissing my cheek. “Alright, I’m gonna go now.”

And he was out the door.

Fuck.

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