#kisame scenario

[historicfailure]

Work Under Water

6. Chapter: Washed onto the Next Best Shore

Kisame finally explains why he continues to flirt - and shows it, too.

~ X ~

Hey there, sorry for the long wait. I had lots of stuff going on in my life, and I don't know, possibly had writer's block without even realizing it. Now though, I feel like I can do something about these left and abandoned stories again. If that "something" is good or not, that's not for me to judge. I hope you guys like this new addition. Thanks for reading and have fun :D

~ X ~

The first date was a resounding success. After swimming with Kisame, the two of you laid on the grass and dried under the sun, and even though you hid away beneath your towel, that talk had felt like Kisame truly tried to get to know you on a deeper level. The conversation with him grew deeper as well, continuing all throughout the afternoon and the better part of dinner. The sun nearly vanished in the darkening sky as Kisame dropped you off at the lake again, where your parked car still waited.

As you opened the door of the truck in the nearly empty parking lot and wanted to climb out, Kisame was faster. One hand landed on your arm, holding you back before you could slip away.

“Have a good night, (Y/N).”

The casual touch made your breath hitch. Fuck. How could something so simple as the touch of a hand on your arm could be this fantastic to you? Was it the fact that only a few people ever did this? Touch you just for the sake of touching you?

Fuck, am I really that touch-starved?

He has me in the palm of his hand, for sure.

Does he know? I hope not. 

A smile formed on your face, easy and light. “I hope you have a good night, too.”

His smile turned up a few notches. “Oh, now it definitely is. And think about a second date with me, alright?”

Without a question in your mind, there would be a second date. God, you needed a second date. Like the damned crave for sweets at 2am hit you with a vengeance, you needed that second date. And a third, a fourth, and so on. After just one date with Kisame, you wanted more. More of his voice, more of his touch, more of him in all varieties. Being so addicted to him in a matter of a few hours should scare you, but on the contrary: you felt like you were floating as you walked over the hard parking lot towards your car, got in and waved one last time before you drove off. 

Kisame waited until you left the lot safely, only then he left as well. Making sure you were on your way home, before he went to his own home. A kind gesture, and one you appreciated greatly. On the few dates that you had, the men tended to try to shoot their shot, and when you made clear that nothing sexual would happen on the first date, their play-pretend interest in you evaporated like morning dew under the hot summer sun. 

Barely at home, you fought with yourself a little bit before texting Kisame. Was it too soon? Too rash? Too much? The questions swirled around in your head, but that couldn’t stop your fingers from typing out a message to him and sending it off. 

>It was a wonderful first date. Thank you so much for this day. :)

The answer came in an instant. Like Kisame had waited for your message with his phone in his hands.

>It was my pleasure. Sooo… About that second date…?

A little smile flashed over your face.

> I would love to. If you’re up for it.

> Now that you agreed, you’re not getting off the hook that easily.

It should feel like a threat. Something dangerous and threatening, something anxiety-inducing. Instead, there was a warm tingle spreading from the pit of your stomach all throughout your body. Still in your clothes and with your skin feeling suspiciously like you had a sunburn, you fell into your bed, all the while pressing your phone to your chest. 

You could try. You would, that much was clear. But you didn’t expect that tingle and the warmth, the little fluttering of your heart when Kisame gave again confirmation that he wanted to see you again. 

For the second date, you picked the location. Even though it was tempting to simply pick the secret spot at the lake once more, you went with a simple picnic in the park, followed by a walk through the greenery. Seeing Kisame with clothes on was still a bit weird, and you somehow expected him to wear a pair of swimming shorts beneath the rough jeans he wore to the date. Together with the marine-blue loose t-shirt, which still managed to cling to his muscles in all the right ways, it made Kisame easily the most attractive man in the park. 

A fact a few people also noticed. And they noticed you beside that attractive man, walking beside him, talking with him, being touched by him. And some obviously asked themselves what you had so Kisame spent his time with you.

He noticed. Of course, he did, you weren’t that secretive about your growing insecurity. 

Suddenly, Kisame stopped in his tracks. You nearly walked past him, but paused and turned ever so slightly to him. “What’s the matter?”

“You’re thinking way too loudly.” His askew cheeky grin made your heart pound harder in your chest. He reached out, and when his big fingers closed around your smaller hand, your heart felt like leaping out of your throat. “I know what you’re thinking.”

“And what?” Despite the anxiety chewing at your insides, you dared to raise your chin in defiance. “What could I possibly think?”

“That you’re somehow not worthy to be here with me. That you’re not good enough. That the others look at you with disdain.” Kisame stepped a little bit closer. Just enough for the tips of his shoes to hit yours. Somehow, the new closeness stole your breath away. “But,” he leaned even closer, so close his mouth was tantalizing you with its look, and you could feel his breath ghost over your face, “but I want this. I want you. Only you. Never forget that.”

It didn’t matter anymore that the two of you were standing right on a neatly cared path leading through a wide park, with lots of people nearby to stare at the very open closeness between the two of you. But with your heart pounding and your blood rushing in your ears, you couldn’t care less. There was only Kisame, his scent, his body. All of him, and you were drowning. 

Will he…?

Oh god, no.

Oh god, yes. Yes, please.

For a few long moments, you wished and prayed that he would lean down further. That  you maybe found some courage and leaned in instead, to do what you wanted to do so desperately that it hurt. To feel his lips against yours, with the knowledge and security that he wanted you, warming you from within. 

But it didn’t happen. Kisame merely winked, like he could read your thoughts down to the comma, before straightening himself out. “I know what you want, little one. But you know what they say.”

“What?” You fell into step beside him, with your hand still held by his, his grip gentle and warm against your skin. 

“Third time, and by that I mean the infamous third date, is the charm.” Your hands, with the fingers tightly yet gently intertwined, swayed between your bodies. Such a nice touch, you forgot about anyone else but him.

It was so terribly easy to believe that it was real. You wanted to believe him, and part of you already did. Still, there was a tiny voice whispering and murmuring in your head. The voice was silent whenever you were with Kisame and talked with him, but it grew louder and louder whenever you were alone. 

Your insecurities were just muted when you were with him, not simply gone. You wished life would be that easy, but it rarely was. That was why you still felt like puking when you pulled up to the lake again, decked out with a two-piece swimsuit, light clothes and some light food, fitting for one of the last days of the summer. The nights got colder, sharp winds blew from time to time, and thankfully, rain started to come down more regularly. The last weeks of the hot drought took a toll on the environment, but in the next few days, the forecast announced rain and thunder.

Maybe, rain would fall even sooner than that. You could feel the humidity on your skin as you slipped out of your car, encompassing you like a coat as you made your way over to the beach. At the top of the hill, which descended into the sandy area, you could overlook the entire beach. Your eyes automatically went to the highest vantage point: the lifeguard seat. And there he was, the man you were casually — or maybe not so casually, as you hoped — seeing. Even over the distance, you could see how the man lounged in his chair, the long legs stretched out and dangling, one arm draped over the armrest, the other loosely holding onto a water bottle. A white tee hung from his shoulders, stuck to his skin in places where the sweat glued it to him. That meant he didn’t have to go into the water at all today, or just very early into his shift. 

You smiled. It also meant Kisame would be antsy to swim a few rounds. By now, you managed to find out one simple truth about the man: he loved to be in the water. A day spent without going for a swim was for him a wasted day. Even worse when it was hot and humid. 

You took a quick peek at your phone. Yeah, Kisame’s shift really was over in a few more minutes. Then, a little idea sparked in your brain. Yes, it was definitely a great idea. Before you knew it, you had opened your messenger app and typed out a quick message. Just a tiny hint of newly discovered cheekiness at play, and your thumb sent out the message before you could think too much about it. 

Of course, Kisame couldn’t really look at his phone. But only a few minutes after your message, the lanky guy with white hair stepped out of the small hut for the lifeguards. Without a hurry, he strolled over to the seat, with his arms crossed behind his head. 

Aah. Shift change. 

A bit late. And not hurrying in the slightest. 

Cheeky little…

Watching from afar was possibly even funnier than being up close. Like this, you could fully take in the scene: Kisame turning his head and spotting the younger lifeguard, who then climbed out of his seat and down from the higher vantage point. There, he waited, and waited, and waited for the younger guy to finally reach the stand, while he crossed his arms over his chest as he saw what you were witnessing. To say that he dressed the younger lifeguard down would be an overstatement. Just a small exchange of words, in which Kisame raised his fingers at the younger man, before walking off with wide strides. His eyes were intently set on his goal: the hut for the lifeguards. Only when he was halfway across the beach, he checked his phone, which he had placed into a small bag, together with his water bottle and sunscreen. All of those items were valuable for his job. 

He stopped in the middle of his tracks. Again, he read over the message, only for his head to snap up and scan his surroundings. 

> you’re looking good up there. Can’t wait to see you in the water, though. ;)

You knew he spotted you when his eyes met yours. Even over the distance, you could feel his look ghost over your body like fingers. From head to toe, he mustered you. A pleasant shudder wandered down your back, goose bumps peppering your arms and legs from the raw intensity of his look. Then, he raised his phone to his mouth, spoke for a moment, only to raise the same hand in a little wave. 

A few moments later, your phone pinged. Without looking, you knew the message was from Kisame. 

Just a short message, merely a few seconds long. You pressed the play button, your heart trembling at the prospect of hearing his voice already, while your eyes followed Kisame’s body, which had continued its way towards the hut.

“I’m looking good up there? Babe, why don’t you tell me stuff like this when I’m with you, huh? Then, I could at least tell you the same.”

A smile flashed over your lips. The way he said it… It sounded like he felt just as impatient as you possibly did. Yeah, you didn’t forget the stuff he said about the “third date”. Back at the park, it had been a promise, and now, it could become reality. 

Something deep down in your stomach curled. Curled and heated up, and the heat spread through all of your limbs. Subconsciously, you gripped your phone tighter. Fuck, you were down bad. Down bad for this man. Really, it was unfair.

Just so me to fall so much for someone.

Even if he’s into me, it’s like comparing an avalanche against some light snow. 

I’m sure I’m way more into him than he’s into me.

Before more doubts could arise, the door of the lifeguard-hut flew open, so hard that when it hit the wood of the wall, the entire building seemed to shake. 

Kisame stepped out, now dressed into a floral Hawaiian shirt, which was still open and fluttered around his naked torso more than it covered him up, and another pair of swimming shorts. 

“Sorry,” he spoke so loudly you could clearly understand him even over the distance, “won’t happen again. Have a nice day!” Before anyone could answer, Kisame threw the door shut again and came towards you in a half-jog, half relaxed walk. 

“Hey there.” His cheeky smile was infectious. Your own smile instantly brightened as he leaned down for a short hug. Just for a second, his arm around your shoulder pressed your body close to his, and the scent of sunscreen, lake water and something deeply musky enveloped you. Before you knew it, you took a deep breath in, and that breath kindled the heat inside of you. 

Yup. You were really down bad for him.

Kisame loosened the hug and stepped a small step back. His eyes flew up and down your figure, something akin to appreciation and possibly even adoration in his eyes. “Finally, I can return the compliment. You’re looking hot as hell today.”

“You’re overreacting.” Despite your insistence, you could feel how your face grew warmer. Such a simple compliment, and you were melting. Damn Kisame and his charm! Only barely, you lowered your eyes, only to flinch the tiniest bit when his fingers gently stopped you from doing so.

“Oh no,” Kisame grinned, “not today. Not when it’s the third date. You might think I have been terrible before, but you have seen nothing, babe.”

Babe. Uuurgh. 

Is it normal to get weak in the knees just because of that?

I never liked that nickname. But… I could get used to it.

And the way Kisame said it… Like he was caressing the syllable with his tongue, tasting every letter with the sensuality of a true, dedicated lover, with attention to detail and all the time on his hands. You really felt a little bit weak in the knees, just enough to excuse leaning into his hand as the one cupping your chin flattened against your face. 

“As much as I would love to stand here and grow roots with you,” his grin revealed more of his unusually sharp teeth, and just for a second, you imagined those teeth lightly digging into the sensitive skin of your shoulder, “I can’t wait to get alone with you. I have so much planned.”

“Planned?” you echoed. Really, it was hard to think at the moment. “What exactly?”

“Not much.” He shrugged. “Just a bit of swimming, relaxing, lying around in the sun, making out… You know, the usual.”

“Wait…” Did you hear that right? But before you could ask about what he said, Kisame’s thumb swiped over your lips, then suddenly fell away. Tingles spread all over your lips, making a whimper rise in your throat. What the hell was going on today with him? 

“I’m afraid I can’t wait. You neither. Let’s go to our spot, alright? Then we can… talk. And do the other things I mentioned.”

Your heart pounded at the speed of lightning as Kisame tugged gently at your hand, then started to walk towards the sandy parking lot. Also, your mind was reeling at the things which just happened. Like he promised, the third date would surely be memorable and a wild ride on top of that.

Heh. Wild ride.

Oh, shut up.

But yes. I hope it will be a wild ride.

Your face grew even warmer as you listened to your own horny thoughts. You definitely enjoyed some written porn occasionally, but your own sexual experiences were kind of limited. So, now, with the prospect of being thrust into that kind of situation, you were overcome with a totally different kind of jitter than before.

The walk back to the car was easily forgotten in your mind. The only part you could concentrate on with crystal-clear clarity was the feeling of your small hand in his, the many calluses, the way his fingers tightened as he led you towards his car, and the way his touch lingered just for a little bit longer before he let go, right when you were about to climb into his truck. 

You were still trying to get your warm face back under control when Kisame slipped into his own seat behind the wheel. But you were unsuccessful, measured at the newly awakened cheeky grin spreading across his face as he glanced at you before starting the engine. 

“Don’t,” you warned him, “just… don’t.”

“I haven’t said anything.”

“You’re thinking way too loudly.”

“Believe me,” Kisame craned his neck to leave his parking spot backwards, with one hand safely secured on your seat, the other at the wheel, “if you could truly read my thoughts, then I would be in hot water.”

“Why?”

“Because from the very first moment,” another glance to you, then Kisame turned his eyes completely towards the road ahead of him, “my thoughts about you were completely indecent.”

That did absolutely nothing to calm the raging flush on your face. Nor did it calm you down, with the quickly growing lust burning through your veins like a forest fire. It made you squirm around, wringing your fingers together even though it was in plain sight for Kisame, and the need and want for something you barely really experienced made you press your thighs together.

A sudden hand captured yours, pressing it to the top of your thigh. The touch made the squirming even worse, but you definitely couldn’t wring your hands anymore, not like this. 

“Nothing to say to that revelation?” he asked. His tone was deep and rich, all smooth honey and rich smoke. “Or are you so blown away by that?”

“I honestly don’t know what to say,” you admitted, “and, to continue being honest, I’m also really, really overthrown by your sudden… advances.”

“Advances?”

“Yes, advances. I…” You swallowed dryly, all the while your thumb twiddled with his index finger. “I never had someone… saying such things to me.”

“It’s about time, then.”

“But why now?” The pad of your thumb circled the rough knuckle of his index finger. You stopped for a moment, thought and sorted your thoughts, before continuing. Slowly, with every word weighing on your tongue like iron. “Why… The first two dates were, like… They felt like you wanted to get to know me. This… now it feels like you only want to get into my pants.”

He shrugged. “Can’t I want both at the same time?”

“Yes, of course. But… it was never like that with me.”

“And that’s,” he slowed down the truck, preparing to turn into the small pocket leading into the forest, “exactly the reason why I’m doing it.”

His answer confused you even more. What was that supposed to mean? Some kind of twisted pleasure in seeing you all flushed and flustered? Was that it? Deep down, though, you knew that wasn’t the solution. No, the real answer to the question felt like the one thing you feared a little bit, because it would be so hard to accept: that he was genuinely interested in you. In your personality and in your body, desired both, even. 

As you struggled your way through the thought process, Kisame parked the truck between the trees. As he fastened the handbrake, he had to pull his hand away, but as soon as the engine was off, his touch was back. Insistent yet gentle, unfolding your fingers and allowing them to curl around his hand again.

Your eyes were glued to that miraculous sight. A big hand wrapped around yours, obviously enjoying the feel of your hand in his. 

“The reason,” he started, and his voice seemed to fill every nook and cranny of the car, “is so simple. Because you hinted at something like this on our last date.”

“I did?”

As far as his seat and the limited space allowed, Kisame scooted around. “Yeah. Really, only hinted at. Took me some time to get it.”

“What a relief.” Even though you weakly chuckled, your insides seemed to freeze. What could he have possibly been thinking? 

“You don’t have a lot of experience with… things like this. Relationships. Romance.” Kisame paused. “Sex. And together with other, very human insecurities, resulted in you being nervous around me.”

“You noticed?”

“Babe,” another shudder wandered down your back, so strong you had to close your eyes, “it was pretty hard not to notice.”

“Right.” You still didn’t look up, just continued to twiddle with his fingers. “And why now this… this charm-offense?” 

“Cool people also call it flirting, you know? And I want to flirt with you because I hope that it will boost your confidence a bit. And make you actually believe that I’m interested in you. Mind, body, the entire package,” he answered. His fingers flexed around yours, only to gently slip away. “But if you don’t want that, just tell me and I will stop. Alright?”

“Alright,” you mumbled. The heat on your face would probably stay there forever. No chance to go back to your original body temperature, not when Kisame was so close and so charming. As you climbed out of the car, while he was busy unloading the back of his trunk, you tried to make sense of the revelation.

Kisame wants to flirt with me.

Because he wants to give me some confidence in myself.

And because he finds me attractive.

You couldn’t believe it fully, not yet. But maybe, just maybe, you believed it a tiny bit more than before. And as you continued to watch him, with his sweaty muscles moving right below the fabric of his tee, something inside your chest grew. The small spark of hesitant craving, kindled by the touches and his comments and his unwavering want for you to believe in him, grew more and more. 

Fuck, you wanted him. Wanted this. And just once, you wanted to… Just once, you wanted to be brave and confident and sexy, all the things you never had been. But somehow, he saw those qualities in you, and when he described you in the brightest colors… you felt instantly ten kilos lighter, with your heart leaping out of your chest and a smile lifting the corners of your mouth.

And you tried. Kisame was still busy unloading the truck, setting down bag after bag onto the ground. So, he didn’t look into your direction when you stepped up behind him, but he definitely noticed your tentative hand reaching out and touching his shoulder.

Just a small touch. Nothing big, merely your fingers gracing over the curve of his shoulder. The first contact initiated by you, because you wanted to. 

The reaction was instant. Kisame stopped all of his movement. A tremble flared through him, but he held impossibly still. A statue, just for you. For you to touch and explore and discover. Again, your hand reached over, followed the sharp curve of his shoulder. Down, to the iron cable of his biceps. The muscle twitched beneath your touch, just a small flare. But you felt it; felt the miniscule motion in the palm of your hand, as well as a wave of heat washing through your veins. 

You continued the careful discovery of Kisame’s arm, while the newly found and small spark of bravery made you open your mouth and form words which forced itself into existence. 

“You make me want to be the person you see in me, Kisame. Really, I want to. But…” You shrugged weakly. “I don’t know how.”

When Kisame moved, your hand fell away. His warmth though didn’t. He turned and stepped closer, so close you were forced to look up into his face as your nose would have otherwise hit his sternum. He looked down on you, and you couldn’t help but squirm beneath his gaze. 

If he touches me right now, I will spontaneously combust.

“I can give you a hint, if you want.” His face was suddenly closer. Startled, you stepped backwards, but there was only the side of the truck. Kisame followed, effectively blocking you in, and leaving you with nothing but weak knees, a quickly beating heart and the nervous jitter of anticipation rummaging through your body. He closed in on you, with his arms extending, caging you in between the truck and his naked chest, only framed by the flaps of his floral Hawaiian shirt.

“Is that enough of a hint?” His eyes fluttered down to your mouth, only to flick back up again. “Or do you need… more proof?”

“Yes.” You almost didn’t recognize your own voice, all breathless and needy. Barely above a whisper, and despite the closeness, you weren’t sure if Kisame heard you. But before you could speak up again, he leaned in, and you knew.

Knew when his lips met yours. Barely contained hunger, mixed with hard-earned experience, still a bit wet and tasting of the lake, but still so uniquely him — the kiss was all Kisame, and you could do nothing but ride it out. And god, you wanted to ride it out. With a low moan vibrating deep in your throat, you opened your mouth. Needing him, all of him. Your arms came up, small hands splayed across strong shoulders, holding on just barely, clawing into the warm skin and tight cords of muscles. A gasp was drowned in his mouth as his tongue met yours, first shy and playful, only to flick across your lips with devilish intent. Just for a moment, he pulled back, and you could feel his lips smiling against your mouth. 

“You’re burning for me, babe. So eager and innocent to feel.” His grin widened just a fraction, before he pressed another quick kiss to your lips, albeit it wasn’t any less hot and made your toes wiggle in your shoes. It left you dizzy, with your head spinning, and your eyes fluttered open just in time to see Kisame’s half-lidded eyes and the quickest flash of sharp teeth. At that, your knees grew weak. Fuck, now you were happy about the truck in your back as it kept you upright and standing in the face with Kisame’s… entire being.

He’s… so fucking hot. I’m melting.

Am I melting? Yeah, to a freaking puddle right at his feet, begging to be stepped on. 

Internet horniness has ruined me in that regard. Because I’m so close to just asking to be stepped on.

Thankfully, you didn’t actually ask that. Just a pitiful little whimper left your mouth as Kisame stepped away, with his eyebrows wiggling like the devil he was.

“And please believe me when I say,” his eyes raked up and down your figure, taking every little detail — the slightly disheveled hair, the reddened lips, the hazy look in your eyes — in, “that I’m burning for you just as much, babe. Maybe even more so.”

Only slowly, the meaning of his words filtered through the fog of deep craving for another kiss. He wanted you. Wanted to kiss you, wanted to touch you. But the insecurity inside you still reared its ugly head, slithering around and whispering about your size, your looks and your taste in clothes. As you picked up your stuff and followed Kisame down the beaten path into the forest, you were still pondering. Pondering and trying to reason with yourself. 

Will I ever feel secure? Secure enough to not doubt this every minute of the day?

Will Kisame continue to be this understanding? Or will I annoy him soon enough with my constant self-doubt?

I don’t know what to do. I just don’t know. 

[hailuchiha]

Caretaker

DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT

!! MINORS DNI !!

!! 18 + NSFW CONTENT!!

!! ALL characters involved are ADULTS ; NO minor characters!!

Summary: Itachi was supposed to return DAYS ago! It wasn't like him to ever return late from a mission. His sister, whom he left in the care of his partner Kisame, has been a ball of anxiety, getting worse each day. Kisame is also worried now, but when things come to a head, he takes his frustration out in a different way.

prompt filled for this anon ask

size difference; sort of noncon; cnc; sexual frustration; betrayal of trust; frustration; anxiety; found family drama; partially clothed; out in the open; power imbalance; anger issues; belly bulge; choking;

1.7k words

Caretaker

It had been days.

Itachi was supposed to be back days ago.

Kisame, whose care he'd left his precious sister in, almost felt as agitated as the younger Uchiha felt. While he knew how capable Itachi was, he just couldn't account for his partner's absence being this long.

Besides, he was running out of things to say to calm the brat down. At least, he was running out of believable things to say.

Plus, brat was sort of an insult to the gorgeous young woman.

"Kisame," she whined, her doe eyes wide and tearful as she stomped up to him. "Why isn't aniki back yet? You say everyday that he'll be back any day!"

"How the hell am I supposed to know," the swordsman growled, also running thin on patience by now. "Just... go hunt a rabbit or somethin to keep yourself busy. And useful."

The young woman frowned, flipping her dark hair over her shoulder as her hands went to her hips, lower lip wobbling a little despite her frown.

"You're saying I'm not useful?" she said in a dangerous tone.

Kisame wanted to roll his eyes, trying not to stare at her heaving bosom and the pretty flush heating her cheeks.

"Don't start this again, woman!" he responded, though his bark had no bite. "Just don't pester me anymore."

"Huh. Some caretaker you are," she scoffed, even as she started to turn away. "You know, Itachi left me with you so you'd take care of me."

She had been backing off, not really even insulting him. But something about either what she said or the way she'd said it made his pent up emotions flare up.

He threw her over his shoulder, ignoring her indignant squawk as she was carried like that, and left the clearing to head into the cover of the surrounding darkness of the forest.

"Hey," she cried out as he threw her gently onto moss-covered ground.

"You're quite the ungrateful brat, aren't ya," he hissed, climbing on top of her and refusing to let her squirm about or escape him.

Something feral flared inside Kisame, and he gave into it, grinning wildly as he groped her ample breasts, his large hands squishing and squeezing the soft mounds.

She was panting from the exertion as she bucked under him, trying in vain to throw off his balance. Kisame would have been impressed at her valiant efforts if he didn't find her helplessness, her inability to even budge him, hilarious.

"You wanted me to play caretaker, huh?" Kisame huffed, bending down to kiss and lick at neck before biting down harshly. He smirked when she yelped, glaring at him with a mixture of shock and fear.

"You'd better stop!" she said, but her voice was all wobbly and breathless.

"I think not," he said, grinding down on her so she felt his cock rubbing firmly against her belly. "Since you couldn't appreciate all the hard work I did taking care of ya, providing for ya, all this time your brother's been gone, methinks you need to be taught a lesson. As your caretaker, I got the right. 'Sides, I deserve some sort of payment too for dealing with ya."

With that, he didn't wait for the Uchiha woman to respond, and simply tore off her underwear and leggings in a single yank, leaving them tangled at her ankles when they got stuck on her shoes. He pulled up her dress so it was pooled up around her tiny waist, the pale, silky smooth skin of her bare legs exposed for his hungry eyes. His cock twitched in appreciation, a wet spot appearing in his pants where he leaked precum already.

"Fuck," he mumbled, eyeing her pretty little cunt, watching almost mesmerized even as his oversized fingers idly played with her soft lips.

His eyes shot up when she whimpered, trembling, and he smirked when he saw the needy look in her eyes even as she tried to cross her legs to keep some semblance of decency.

Kisame chuckled, flicking her nose before gripping her plush thighs and spreading her legs, not allowing her to hide.

"Now, now, little one," he crooned. "Don't be all shy on me now! You were mouthy enough to pester me the whole two weeks your brother was gone."

"P-Please, Kisame," she still begged, eyes not meeting his even as her warm walls became slick with Kisame's attention, his finger making delicious wet sounds as it moved within her folds.

"Please what?" he asked with a smirk.

"L-Let's not do this... I won't bother you again," she said, not meeting her eyes, her nails digging into his still-clothed thighs.

Kisame barked out a laugh.

"Tell that to your greedy lil cunt," he countered, smacking her pussy and delighting in the strangled sound she made. "You even went through the trouble to shave it. Didja do it for me? Now be a good girl and let daddy have some fun... You've stressed me out enough the past few days," he said, pulling out his cock and smirking as he saw her eyes widen in horror.

Kisame knew he was girthy, that he was bigger than the average man... It came with the territory, what with him being around 7ft tall. He wondered if she was just playing coy, or if the little Uchiha would turn out to be a little cockslut after all.

He continued to pump his fingers in and out of her wet cunt, opening her up and relaxing her while using his other hand to tug at his cock a couple times till it glistened in his copious precum.

As he took out his fingers and replaced them with his thick head, he caught her eyes as she bit her lip, eyes trying to see where he was entering her. It took a few tries, his cock catching on her entrance every time he tried to push in. But finally, it worked. Kisame groaned at the sight of his fat cockhead slipping past her wet folds, stretching her pretty pussy painfully wide, if the grimace on her pretty face was anything to go by.

The young woman's face was flushed from the strain, and he took a moment to marvel at how pretty she looked, before slamming right in, not giving her more time to adjust.

To his delight, she threw her head back, as if in pleasure, her eyes rolled back and mouth dropped open in a soundless gasp as her pussy was stuffed with his oversized cock.

"Fuck," he groaned, wishing he'd undressed her completely when he bit into her shoulder and was met with the dissatisfying material of her dress rather than her delicious skin.

With no more patience, he started rocking into her, barely pulling out before slamming back in, groaning as the soft sound of her muffled gasps echoed around them, his eyes feasting upon the way her full breasts bounced each time he thrust in.

When her shoes became a problem, not allowing him to move as freely as he liked, he yanked them off in frustration before ripping the tangled mess of leggings and underwear off as well and tossing them aside.

Then, he pulled her onto his lap till her cunt was flush against him, his cock driving even deeper into her warm, wet folds.

With her back arched deliciously in this angle, the Uchiha's moans became louder, and she could almost swear the cock ploughing her was going all the way up to her throat. She felt a little dizzy, but she couldn't help but let her legs fall open wider in invitation, her blurry gaze fixed on the large blue form of the man she'd come to see as sort of a big brother over the years. Not anymore, she thought giddily to herself.

Kisame was pleasantly surprised when she giggled, looking completely out of it, and he responded by fucking her harder. He had his answer- she was definitely a cockslut.

"What's so funny, baby," he crooned, bracketing the endearment with sharper thrusts groaning as her nails dug into the exposed skin of his thighs in reflex.

"Jusss thinking about how y're not my brother anymo," she managed, though her speech was slurred and her breath being repeatedly punched out wasn't helping.

Kisame raised a brow, almost breaking into a cackle. This was fucked up.

"You're a dirty lil girl, yanno?" he said instead, sounding far too breathless for his liking.

She just giggled and wrapped her legs around his hips, pulling moans out of them both as the movement sheathed him in her smaller body completely.

As he continued to move into her, she thoughtlessly pulled him into an open-mouthed kiss, moaning as his hips stuttered in response.

The older man swore under his breath and hiked her hips higher, angling himself so he could rub her clit without breaking his momentum.

Her hands flew up to grip his arms, thighs twitching around him where they bracketed him, as high pitched moans fell from her reddened lips. Kisame could get used to the sight.

He chased his building high, keeping up the pace and not letting up as her body jerked and shuddered with pleasure, her cunt gripping his cock impossibly hard and throbbing around him as she came first. Kisame groaned, almost spilling then too, but he managed to wait till he'd fucked her through her orgasm before pulling out one last time and burying ballsdeep again, filling her with his load till her soft tummy bulged prettily.

Her eyes were still glassy, her chest heaving as she came down from the high, and Kisame gave in to the urge to lean down and capture her mouth in a filthy kiss.

"Good kitty," he muttered before pulling out, smirking at the sight of her pussy gaping wide open from taking him, and streaks of their mixed cum started to spill out.

"Let's getchu cleaned up," he said, pulling his gaze away from the delicious sight, only to chuckle when he saw her blissfully passed out.

Oh well. He didn't mind getting her cleaned up and dressed. Being caretaker wasn't so bad after all, the swordsman mused.

A/N: uh. this turned out to be very fun to write. i was planning to introduce itachi too but this got too long. maybe next time lol any typos will be fixed as soon as i find them

[snuggleboots]

Akatsuki parents? Akatsuki parents.

because I like shoehorning my experiences into my ninja bullshit. Hope y'all enjoy my rambling. : )

Feat. Hidan, Kakuzu, Kisame, Itachi.

Hidan ends up a girl-dad, and a proud one at that, given your daughter is a complete fucking gremlin, just like him. An aggressive toddler that looks like a tiny little sweetheart, with chubby cheeks, gorgeous violet eyes framed by the prettiest eyelashes you'd ever seen, and hair that looks like a carbon copy of your own. Her little smiles are a mixed bag, and you never know whether to expect cute baby affection or chaos that no toddler her size should realistically be capable of bringing into existence.

Nobody expects it when she toddles on up, all tiny, squishy hands and 'awwww, hug?'s, only to turn on a dime and start biting, smacking, or pinching- all while wearing a huge grin that she must have inherited from her dad, or giggling like a squeaky hinge. Babysitters do not last, Hidan finds absolutely nothing more hilarious than seeing another one leave haggard and never pick up jobs from either of you again.

She's a natural climber, knows no fear, and loves nothing more than climbing up onto the back of the couch and waiting. 'Oh no, 'M stuck!' is a goddamn trap. It took a couple pint-sized ambushes, wherein she lunges, catches some serious air, and rams into you or Hidan at full force to learn that lesson. Your natural state becomes STRESSED. Hidan, on the other hand? Constantly entertained. That little girl can do literally no wrong, because, shit, she's just emulating her dad, obviously.

If it's possible for a toddler to be sarcastic, she is, and it's only ever when she's using her manners. One tiny little eyebrow cocked, a crooked smile and cooed, 'Oh, nooo. So-orry!' Hidan has literally cried from laughing so hard, until she turned it on him. One big, angry bitemark on his forearm later, and those tittering giggles and 'Uh-oh, you o'tay? Uh-oh!' felt just a little more irritating than when they were directed towards you. He's even less impressed when you're laughing right alongside your little devil-child.

Older kids tried, once, to pick on the little girl who laughed too loud and played too hard. Unfortunately for them, she's always had a set of lungs and knew damn well how to use them. One blood-chilling shriek- not because she's hurt, but because she knew he'd hear, and haha, there's dad. Big, fat crocodile tears, a quivering pout and squeaky, 'Oh, no!' and it was game on.

Hidan doesn't give a fuck how old a snot-nosed shithead might be, his bullying is indiscriminate and he's had far longer to refine his insults than they have. She's rarely bullied, because word spreads and it's hard for a kid to bounce back from such heated and targeted shit-talk, even harder to bounce back when they watch some whooping, laughing maniac beat the shit out of their dad for trying to step in. You were only slightly surprised, and a little concerned when your little gremlin laughed and squealed over the playground dad on dad beatdown.

Deidara drops by from time to time, and he seems to have as much fun wrangling your tiny little hellion as Hidan does. He doesn't mind the fact that she can be aggressively playful, and takes absolute delight in the way her eyes go wide and shine with awe when he shows off his art. She's fascinated by his hair, and you find some remarkable moments of quiet and peace when she's perched on the couch with him on the floor, her chubby fingers toying with and carding through the golden mane that's somehow smoother and shinier than silk. If he minds the fact that she essentially pets him like a cat, he certainly doesn't mention it. 'Awww! So sof', so sof'.' Between Deidara and Hidan's high energy capacity for mischief, his visits always end up with your daughter properly knackered, and mercifully tame for the rest of the day.

Kakuzu didn't want kids the same way a dad doesn't want the dog his kids inevitably end up bringing home. You two ended up with a daughter, and at some point, somehow, someway, he became begrudgingly attached and takes over everything surrounding that little baby. Maybe it was the fact that when he looks into her eyes, he sees a soft, sweet mirror of his own, moss-green eyes that haven't yet seen the horrors of the world and the awful things that wait within it. Either way, the most miniscule part of him that can still feel love does, and every ounce of it belongs to her. You have your share, but you know that his daughter put the moon and the stars in his sky again.

Your full-time job becomes raising her, the little lady that sees the world with his eyes and speaks remarkably well for a tiny toddler her age. There's not a snowball's chance in hell that he'd trust some random to watch over his girl. You're just lucky that she's an honest delight to raise, although that might be your own bias talking. Kakuzu does a lot of reading with her, and it's almost comical to see a man like him drawling and grumbling through a ten-paged book about a little pig's wild adventures in kindness.

When Kakuzu's balancing books in the evening and she can't sleep, she always seems to find her way to the kitchen table where the old bounty hunter is pouring over expenses and budgets. Tiny fingers count on an abacus while he counts stacks of green, and when he loses count because she's quietly chatting away to the walls and the table and his ears when they listen, he can't even find it in himself to be upset. Not when those pretty eyes turn their gaze to him and she bids her sweet 'uh oh, sorry papa'. For all his power, he can be weak in those moments that make his heart just a little happier.

Innocent, and unacquainted with the temper that almost defines him as a man, she isn't afraid of him, she isn't afraid of him, she isn't afraid of him. Never had she, nor will she ever bear witness to the ugly, vicious face of his short-fuse and hellfire wrath.

That sweet little girl is spoiled, and that's only because she never seems to ask for anything herself. So polite, for one so small. When little green eyes sparkle because they fell upon a pretty dress, a toy, a book that has her oohing and ahhing, a little cup that has a straw 'oh, wow!' and a cute little pig printed on the plastic 'ohh! a piggy! haha, oink oink!' - who is he to turn his head and leave it at that?

She could ask for the moon, and it would be all he could do to bid a slow, pensive nod and murmured assurance, 'It only sits in the sky for you.'

Hidan is a frequent and uninvited visitor, and while normally you'd find that to be cause for concern it's quickly proven pointless to worry given the fact that if Kakuzu isn't grouching him under control, your daughter has a hilarious talent for putting him in his place. Seeing the zealot sat on your couch, being prodded and chided by a girl less than half his size is certainly a sight to behold; hearing her tut and chastise him in a way she must have learned from her dad for putting his feet on the coffee table, shoes on the couch, or his drink on the side table without a coaster is absolutely hysterical. 'Stains are 'spensive! Feet down!'

Kakuzu's sweet little mini-me: breathes

Kakuzu:

Kisame takes on the dad role like he was born for it, after a small period of adjustment. You two end up having a boy and a girl, and he's practically putty in their little hands. Your boy is huge, had been since he was a baby - which is natural, Hoshigaki kids are just... big, generally. Your girl caught both of you off guard, only because she's so tiny. The sibling dynamic is chaos, but a warm one that always seems to leave Kisame cackling or grinning over something ridiculous those two end up getting into.

Your boy is like a walking clone of his dad, and even as a little boy he's already standing as tall as your ribs. Slate-blue hair as soft as cornsilk, teeth that make you grateful he was never a biter, and little gills bracketing his throat. Soft-spoken, a little shy outside of his parents, and constantly looking to wrestle and play. If you're doing something, he's a guaranteed little helper - he likes to help with cooking when you let him. If his baby sister is getting into trouble, he's either helping her do it to make sure she's safe, or he's the one carrying a kicking, griping toddler to one of you two to handle. Yeah, he's a bit of a narc- but it's always for a good cause. He's a fretful big brother.

Your girl is probably the most precious little baby you'd ever met, and Kisame is quite literally helpless against her doe-eyes and deceptively sweet, cheery little voice. Where her brother is quiet, she is loud; where he's happier to follow the rules and keep out of trouble, she's a born rule-breaker that finds boundaries just to test them. When you stumble upon her in the midst of some suspiciously quiet, pint-sized anarchy, she always manages to look surprised that you ever caught her in the first place. She looks like you, if you were knee-height and sporting tiny little daggers for teeth and gills on your cheekbones. Kisame blames you entirely for her gremlin personality.

Kisame does not discipline unless he needs to, because he feels awful when big, sweet baby eyes look at him with complete betrayal that he dared to tell them no, or stop them from pulling off some kind of crazy baby scheme that would make your hair grey from stress. Quivering pouts or teary eyes and he's gotta tap out.

Babysitters adore your kids when they behave, but Kisame vets any you hire thoroughly because he's more than a little protective of his babes. It's like they're each a half of his heart living outside his body and he honestly struggles to manage the overwhelming love and affection they pump into his veins every day. He could, and gladly would break fingers over something as minute as hurt feelings.

You hold the sole rights to discipline outside the house, too. If either of your ankle-biters act out their mischief in public, and someone tries to step up and throw in their two cents, Kisame's massive silhouette and mean, sawtooth grin are very effective deterrents.

Itachi is a semi-frequent visitor, and both of your children love him fiercely. You're half-convinced that he has some kind of Uchiha magnetism, given the fact that he'd won over not one, but three Hoshigaki by the sheer power of his quiet, soothing presence. Kisame takes great amusement in watching your little lady climb all over the poor man, and your son sidle up beside him with his favourite book to chat his ear off about the adventures that lay within it. Itachi, to his credit, never ever seems to mind the undivided attention of the lively gilled babes.

Kisame, and his pint-sized sidekick: getting into Hoshigaki-brand bullshit

You, with your sweet little chore buddy: > : ( no- one hundred times, no!

Kisame, and his tiny co-maker of mayhem: betrayed, bamboozled, and somehow? positively shocked that you found out

Itachi slips seamlessly into a domestic role, despite how long he'd been absent from one. Childrearing almost seems like his god-given purpose in life once he actually sets himself to it, and the second you two brought home your cooing, burbling baby it was on. He's happy, grateful to stay home and take care of your son, tend to the home and make your transition back to work as smooth of a process as possible.

It's an all-too common scene to come home and find the Uchiha at task in the kitchen, tending to a meal simmering on the stove while your squishy, pudgy-cheeked and sleepy eyed boy perched on his hip with a tenderness that makes your heart hurt. Even as a clumsy little toddler, he's never found very far from his dad. If Itachi is cleaning, there's his little mini-me, trying to help and earning gentle encouragement and a soft, fond smile for his efforts.

Honestly, your little guy is the most well-mannered, well-adjusted, well-spoken toddler you've ever met. He genuinely likes to help, to the point that it sometimes becomes a problem because he's very determined when there's any little problem set out in front of him. At the park, playing with other little babes, he's more concerned with making sure everyone's playing fair and playing safe than he is about actually having any fun himself. He's a bit of a worrywart for someone his age, and half the time it feels like he's the self-appointed tiny guardian of his friend group. Someone trips and skins a knee? 'Are you okay? We can sit down for a little. It's okay.' A born father, is your Itachi.

Who, for a man so reserved and soft-spoken, is hellbent on making sure his son has the most peaceful, memorable childhood he can possibly offer. Not a day is wasted in your household, even a lazy day is an opportunity to make memories and spend some honest, quality time with the people he loves most. You three can cook meals together, with your boy set to work at taste-testing and mixing ingredients under the quiet, watchful eye of his dad. He never wants for encouragement, love, affection, or little things that catch his eye; it would be wrong to call him spoiled, because he isn't, but there is little he wants that he doesn't receive.

Your secondary job is bullying Itachi into taking a day to relax and unwind, because although your son is essentially the perfect child, it's still a lot of work to raise him. Even when you're the primary parent on those days off, he's never far away, and always finding sneaky ways to slip back into dad-mode rather than actually relax. Half the time it takes you putting your son on the job of wrangling his dad just to make the man sit down, crack open a book and let himself just be. That typically entails your little boy gently chiding his father in a way you're certain he learned from the Uchiha himself- and god, it makes your heart melt. 'No, no. Gotta have your tea, it's gonna get cold', 'Sit, sit, sit. Sometimes we need to sit, papa. Gotta rest!'

Kisame loves to visit, he makes that fact no secret. For a man so massive, so intimidating, he handles your boy like glass- as if he's afraid a little rough play might break him. And your son, always as sweet as he is smart, adores the company. His questions know no limits, and he's a clever little babe about getting answers without actually asking questions. 'Can we go swimming? You must swim fast- can you swim under water? I can hold my breath longer than you can.' You once got to watch the boy perched at the end of a dock for half an hour, holding a staring contest with the swordsman who'd been stubbornly sat at the bottom of the lake's shallows for at least half an hour. That thoroughly entertained grin on the swordsman's face when he flared his gills told you he knew what exactly your boy was so curious about when he'd challenged him in the first place.

[nardo-headcanons]

Hey my dear mutual! Another super stupid and weird request coming, so, please, feel totally free to ignore completely if you want, really. So, let's say instead of a criminal organization, the Akatsuki are actually a lab team. Which would be their roles, their work focus or their research topics? How would they behave at work with each other or, I don't know, whatever you can think of. Inspired by your agar plates post, by the way, hahahaha

Hello Sasuke, my dear. Don't call your asks weird, I love how creative they are! If anyone wants to write a fic about this please TAG me!

Big thanks to @the-real-sasuke-uchiha for requesting!

The Akatsuki in a modern research lab AU

Akatsuki Labs, Inc. No one knows what they're actually researching, and how they get their funding, however everyone hires them, they're incredibly popular with institutions and businesses alike...

Deidara is a lab rookie who is still at the beginning of his study. He went to a scientific high school and an absolute ace at chemistry. Besides studying chemistry, his other major is pyrotechnical engineering. He blows shit up on the regular and even adds copper sulphate to fires when he is the one supposed to put them out. He frequently steals minerals from the lab to use them for his pottery projects. And yes, he knows how to make meth.

Hidan is on his way to become a neurologist. He is fascinated by the way the nervous system works (especially while processing pain) and has the ego of a neurosurgeon twice his age. However he is regularly asked for a second opinion because he knows his shit. He's pretty popular with the ladies due to his confidence, however many of them are freaked out when they find out what a huge masochist he is.

I've never seen Itachi as a huge stem guy, but I've actually had a discussion about this with my dear moots @pet-plasma-bubble and @suki91 and came to the conclusion that he's either a plant biologist or studies medicine because he's one of these kids with a chronic and/or underdiagnosed illness going into medicine to make a change. Plant biologist!Itachi regularly talks to his plants when no one is looking and he gives them names as well. He doesn't really care much for the actual lab work and prefers to take care of the plants in the different lab greenhouses. Med student!Itachi is one of these anatomy girlies who draw their stuff in fancy colors and actually enjoy studying human anatomy.

Kakuzu is a senior scientist/professor who initially studied pharmacology/pharmacy to save many lives and prolong the lives of millions, but eventually got disillusioned and sold his soul to the pharma industry. He should technically be retired now, but he joined the Akatsuki labs inc to make some money on the side.

Kisame started out as a marine biologist specializing in shark research, however, seeing these beautiful, innocent creatures get bastardized by Hollywood and pollution made him apply to Akatsuki labs inc to help find solutions to the current crises caused by humanity. During his free time, he volunteers in a dolphin rehabilitation center.

Konan is the cofounder of Akatsuki labs inc, everyone respects her and even looks up to her. Once a brilliant scientist in the field of engineering, she got tired of how male dominated it was and how her male colleagues kept getting the credit for her ideas. She frequently holds lab courses for young girls interested going into the scientific field.

Nagato is the Akatsuki labs founder, and rarely seen in the lab. He has made himself a name in the field of robotics by inventing the Shurado robotics system which helps millions of automated machines run to this day. Rarely seen in the lab, he communicated with his employees via his Pain Alias Email. though to be fair, Konan writes most of these emails for him; she's the only one regularly talking to him face-to-face.

Orochimaru is a geneticist and biochemist, his focus being finding ways to avoid cellular decay, as well as the human genome and anti aging research. His parents are academics as well and he lived up to their expectations to the fullest. He has his own skincare formula which keeps him looking snatched at all times. Given the rumors about several scientific ethical code violations, everyone is kinda scared of him except for his personal lab tech, Kabuto.

Sasori is a renowed mortician who's also very interested in histology. His preparation techniques are unmatched and he even invented new preparation- and histological staining methods, which are called "Red Sand" and "Red Technique", respectively. He often gets into fights with Kakuzu about his microtome collection being unnecessarily expensive.

Tobi is the Akatsuki labs CEO cosplaying as a clueless intern that always steals from the candy bowl in the waiting room. In reality, he has a PHD in physics, his thesis being about rifts in space time and interdimensional interactions, however all of his papers are published under an alias. He has a soft spot for Deidara and refuses to fire him despite the latter's frequent "accidents".

Zetsu is a biological anthropologist fascinated by human evolution and human behavior. Some think even his colleagues are subjects of his studies. Some people say he's two-faced, but he is very chatty and inquisitive most of the time. He volunteered to have Itachi's venus fly traps in his office and can sometimes be seen feeding them dead flies or mosquitoes.

[suvidrache]

Hello! May I request Zetsu, Kakuzo and Kizame with a demon s/o who never let them touch too close to their horns, the reason is that s/o horns are very sensitive and make them start to purr and move their tail around (kinda like a cat) please?

(sorry for any errors, English is not my first language!)

S/O With Horns

age in bio when interacting. minors do not interact.

Word Count: 248 | Read it on AO3 | Tag List

Featuring: Zetsu, Kakuzu, and Kisame

Author's Note: I do hope that this was what you wanted. Also, your English is fine! 🩵

Zetsu completely gets it. He's not a human. He doesn't judge you in any way. White Zetsu is completely innocently curious about you. He asks genuine questions. Black Zetsu, depending on how long you've been together, would be the exact opposite. White would only touch your horns with permission and would talk about how cute your purrs were. Black only touched them when you pissed him off. He's angry; now you are, too.

Kakuzu is completely oblivious to your appearance. You begin to doubt that he actually pays attention to you. It wasn't until one day that you were both headed to bed. He reached over and stroked your horn. An attempt to remove the thing sticking out of your head. You purred and swatted his hand away. He simply smiled, whether to touch you again or talk about the horns on your head. He wasn't quite sure what he wanted to do first.

He's not exactly human-looking. Kisame gets it. There's no judgment from him. He supports you in any way and will fight those who speak badly to you. He's not going to pet your horns without permission. When he hears you making noise, he can't help but smile. Only when you are both at home will he ever touch your horns to hear your purrs. He also has a tendency to growl when you touch certain parts of him (similar to your purrs, and only when you both are alone and in a teasing mood).

© SUVIDRACHE — do not copy, translate, modify, or plagiarize my work. reblogs are appreciated!

Tag List: @eli-chris

[terra-fenrisulfr]

My Naruto OC Hoshiko! (She gets she/her pronouns since this is for my middle school self)

Design notes: All her teeth are sharp but her canines are pretty long so they stick out a little. Her claws are also laced with a poison which is very effective at paralyzing and can be very painful.

Story: She's a jonin from the Hidden Mist. A few years younger than Kisame, she looked up to him and admired him from a young age. She wanted to be able to fight at his side as an equal one day. However, he dissented. She couldn't understand why he would do that with how loyal he seemed to be to the village, and refused to believe that he would betray the village for no reason. She eventually left the village to find Kisame, wanting to find out from him why he betrayed the village and left.

Eventually she found him, and after he explained his reasons, she chose to support his goals and assist him in whatever way she could. They eventually began a relationship.

She never becomes a formal member of the Akatsuki, acting more as a scout and gathering information for them.

[iambilliejeanok]

can you please write headcanons on how the Akatsuki eat out their fem s/o? Thank you.

Yes I can, you’re welcome🌸

🌸How the Akastuki members eat out fem reader🌸

Feature: Pein||Kakuzu||Hidan||Sasori||Itachi||Kisame

Warnings: 🔞, NSFW, content might be unsuitable for some viewers, contains taboo/explicit scenes that some might find disturbing, darcyphillia, female cunnilingus, UNEDITED, the whole thing is about pussy eating, all consensual scenarios.

No artwork presented here belongs to me

💗Enjoy💗

Pein

We love Pein we really do, but dear lawd, he knows how to torture you. Pein is such a dirty tease. He’s so bad, you might even end up crying, the remainder of the session.

With his mouth literally watering, this is tough on him too, spit casually sliding off of his tongue and onto your vulva, while he’s softly biting and sucking the skin surrounding your genitalia, leaving small hickies behind and NEVER touching your clit.

If you’re strong willed enough, screaming at him and tugging on his dry orange hair might direct his attention to your suffering, but that also really annoys him, and now a lingering kiss is all he leaves you with, your hips would’ve shot up if he wasn’t holding them down, but your poor clit is way too sensitive that just the contact of his soft lips against your clit nearly took you out.

“Pein! Baby I can’t stand this! Please!!!”, you desperately beg him, unashamedly attempting to shove your clit in his mouth but you can’t even get close, he’s freakishly strong. He’s eyebrows now lower and he’s purely disappointed. “If I give you want you want you’re still going to bother me. Why can’t you give in to me?”, he asks, and lawd knows you couldn’t give a flying fuck right now, he needs to get serious.

But this is his little game, to see how much he can torture you, purple eyes refocusing on your pussy. Here’s a good reason as to why he admires edging you so much, you’re so incredibly wet, and when he separates your folds to get a good look at you, it’s all goey and sticky, and he absentmindedly starts licking a trail up and down every inch of your exposed vulva, every lick setting your entire body ablaze, Pein shoving his tongue as deep as it can go inside of you as he continues licking up, but he stops just below your clit his eyes blissfully shut and his head in another world as he takes his sweet time to taste every inch of you.

There’s no level of horny greater than this for you and Pein is hard enough to break something with his erection. He’s definitely not sorry for putting you through this and for a matter of fact, he had you right where he needs you. He’s managed to reduce you to a desperate mess, your pussy is dripping with your arousal and he’s looking right back at your hole, watching it contract and expand as though it’s begging him too. He knows it’s begging him. Now he can mess with you.

Kakuzu

First of all, Kakuzu towers over you, his impressive frame and bulky size means he can easily manhandle you regardless of your size, and we know this grumpy piece of sexyness takes advantage of that too.

He’s so serious though, but he loves your personality, whatever it is. He doesn’t typically make any sounds outside of heavy breathing when the two of you have sex, and you’re always the one reaching the high notes.

Kakuzus approach to eating you out is definitely different from Peins, because Kakuzu doesn’t have the time of day to edge you. He’s a dangerous assassin and only enjoys making money the easiest way he knows how, so he always needs to stay alert and be on guard, even in the comfort of your own bedroom while his head is buried between you legs.

He’s very intentional and to the point, he wants you to start crying out his name with ragged screams RIGHT NOW😭This man has no general idea of how to initiate anything sexual so he just scoops you up, throwing you over his shoulder wherever you are. He places you down anywhere comfortable enough for you lay down, and he’s immediately pushing your thighs up and spreading your legs. He also ALWAYS just moves your panties to the side because he doesn’t have time to get all romantic with you, but he also really wants to make you feel good🥺 he really tries his best to make you feel good, if only it didn’t have to be so spontaneous and intense all the time

The pad of his thumb is already rubbing your clit in circles. Now you know he’s insanely good at this, so the minute he throws you over his shoulder, your pussy is already growing moist with every passing second. He’s not a fan of dirty talk but sometimes he’ll comment on how you’re already creamed up at this point. If only he understood his own power😭😭

With his focus on your beautiful face, he spits right onto your clit and you can’t help but moan at the sensation of the cold spit landing on clit, but he’s massaging your clit again with his thumb, his free hand working in ripping your top in half so he can free your titties. Kakuzu gets so horny when you let him play with you, because it’s not like he can just do this whenever he wants. Biting your lip to stifle a moan at the contact of his open palm kneading your boob would work if the speed of his thumb in your clit didn’t increase, and you’re moaning loudly now, his focused facial expression relaxing with a smirk pulling at his lips before he buries his head between your thighs, tongue fucking you to an orgasm, and you’re already throwing your head back, overwhelmed with Kazuzu’s intensity and aggressiveness as he licks and sucks on your clit, your screams like a beautiful play that he gets to orchestrate, knowing what to do to get what kind of reaction.

Your orgasm are always so long and intense because he’s constantly stimulating something. If he’s sucking your soul out of your clit he’s also tongue fucking you, his fingers helping out to stimulate your gspot while he’s free hand keeps you spread just enough to lick every inch of you. HE LOVES EATING YOUR WHOLE ASS OUT OKAY. He’s so strong it’s left you with a little bit of an obsession towards his touch. He lifts your ass up easily enough with how he pushes your thighs open and by the time he’s getting around to lapping the crack of your ass and circling your anus you’re a complete mess. You’re squirting, screaming and shaking but it’s barely been three minutes…he has the time to go a little longer. 5 minutes, maybe 6 since he’s feeling extra relaxed at this point.

Sasori

He’s so sick and evil please😭😭 why does getting your pussy ate out have to be so intense and overwhelming. And you might need to endure a little bit of pain to experience those orgasms that make you feel like you’re turning into another creature. He loves to study you and your body, how certain things will drive you crazy and how other things you can handle better.

Sasori is surprisingly a loyal pleaser, he always strives to send you over the moon and he now understands that the more pleasure you experience the easier it is for you to handle penetration. He loves penetrating you while eating you out, yes with his fingers and they feel so good you can literally envision the way he makes you feel, but he also gets a kick out of seeing the toys he meticulously designed fit inside of you, one inside your anus and one inside your vagina. The one inside your vagina just vibrates, starting from a low buzz and gradually growing more intense, that you’ll eventually have orgasms that could last the whole session, while the you that goes inside your vagina is the one he plays around with, fucking you with it while he devours your clit. Sometimes he will pull the toy inside your vagina out to replace it with his own tongue and slurp up the mess you’re making. 😭🙈

Hidan

Hidan loves spanking yes, but not he’s not about your ass. When you’re enjoying an intense orgasm, crying, or fussing enough to annoy him, especially while he’s in the zone, spreading your lips apart to directly stimulate your exposed bean, but gentle licks is enough to send you into spasms. When it gets difficult to keep you in one position, he straightens up and smacks your titties, loves to slap both of them, until your promise him you’ll sit still. You know the drill.

But the reality is you’re not going to be able to stay in one position with how he’s not giving your a break, constantly licking your vulva, unintentionally stimulating your g spot every time his tongue slips inside of you, taking his sweet time, his eyes shut to really taste you. So he opens his eyes and frowns, sitting upright to start smacking your breasts again.

He makes you cry when he does this because it’s really not fair, and damn you because your years will tug at his heart enough to convince him you deserve a break. He’s actually kinda sweet though, because when you begin to really cry and beg him to wait, he will find something else to do until you’re ready for round two, massaging your boob in one hand while he’s warm mouth is suckling the other, and your beautiful skin is always covered in dark patches from the millions of of hickies he leaves all over you, especially your chest and neck area when he’s giving you a break.

In between kisses he checks on you. “Hey”, he whispers as to not startle you, your eyes fluttering as they open up to see him. You should answer him when he’s done planting soft kisses against your softer lips. “hey”, you respond in the softest voice, he immediately has the urge to wrap his arms around you, squeezing you tight. “Intense right.. babyy, are you okay?”, he whispers in your ear. “Yes I’m okay, thank you”. “May I continue?”, he asks placing a kiss against your temple, already leaving a trail of kiss as he repositions himself between your legs.

This time around he’s a little meaner, praising you for constantly squirting on him while he’s devouring you, your orgasms so intense it doesn’t take too long for you to start throwing another tantrum. He’s so good at handling you🥺

Itachi

Itachi🥺 he loves talking to you during foreplay. He’s also constantly flirting with you, that probably explains why you’re always horny. He knows what he’s doing because Itachi LOVES pleasuring you with his mouth. Whether it’s verbally or physically, he never fails to make you feel so so good.

Itachi will eat you until a whiny mess and he talks you through all of it. “Tachi!’ I can’t take it uhhhh!!!!”, you whine, Itachi not stopping the stroke of his tongue against your clit until you have this orgasm. He doesn’t like ruining your orgasms, so he’s rather just make you nut and give you a break after, no matter how intense the orgasm is. You’re going to have it until you calm yourself. “There you go sweet girl”, he pants, mesmerized by the way you’re squirting and the noises you’re making, screaming while he’s literally just watching you cum. “Baby”, he smiles, “I love watching my pretty girl squirt like this. Thank you baby”. “I- o-okay—“, you try and speak but that orgasm was rather overwhelming.

Your inability to get yourself together always amuses him, he loves doing this to you. “My pretty girl”, he says, leaning forward to finally kiss you, his fingers slowly separating your folds, the pad of his middle finger rubbing your clit in left to right strokes, the speed increasing, quickly leaving you unable to kiss him in return. He smiles again, amused. Your clit is so sensitive and you’re so sweet and responsive, the demon inside of him wants to come out and play. Now even though you’re screaming from such simple actions, he still wants to see you have another orgasm, despite the intensity.

But he’s loving and sweet with how he handles the situation you don’t realize he’s the reason why you find yourself able to make it to orgasm number 4 in just one round😫

Kisame

Like Kakuzu, Kisame is also really tall and bulky, and uses that to his advantage whenever he can, even when he’s trying to pleasure his precious lover😞

He loves him some foreplay and loves using his fingers before he finishes you off with his mouth. He loves you between his thighs with you back resting against his chest, and with his free hand leading your boobs, his other hand is rapidly flicking at your clitoris, bringing you to multiple orgasms while you squirm and convulsive between his legs, yet he easily holds you snug against him. He might even place his own legs over yours and bring you to another orgasm. You’re guaranteed to squirt when he bullies you like this. Sometimes he would make you sit on his dick while he does this to your poor clit, but let’s get into that some other time…

He loves for you to sit on his face, sit on his face and ride him. Don’t stop though because that might aggravate him😭 and slowly make him feel like he has to be a little more aggressive. “Cmon baby, what’s the matter?”, he frowns, smacking your ass hard before sitting you right back on his mouth, the grip of his hands on your hips is so strong you don’t even try and escape, succumbing to your fate of back breaking orgasms. Tomorrow your back will certainly remind you of this moment right here with how often you arch. But you’re grateful for your morning yoga sessions because those help a lot with any body aches you might have, unless Kisame walks in on you in that downward dog position, then he suddenly wants to do some yoga with you. You both know why he’s really here and it’s going to end with his head between your thighs.

But if it’s not for face riding please let him eat you out on all fours. Lawd he’s so aggressive and might make you wanna tap out from the overstimulation. And in this position you’re so exposed, he buries his face nose between your ass cheeks, might enjoy sniffing your anus while he’s devouring you, his tongue lapping at your clit while he shakes his head, making all kinds of grunt and groaning sounds to show you how much he’s enjoying this. And while you’re pushing his head band begging him to stop he makes more sounds while casually smacking your hands out the way.

He can and will tongue fuck you to tears carefully observing your face while he shoves it inside of you with force, making you crumble and cum right then and there.

[ladykissingfish]

Could you do sum with this random image i found ??

*Deidara, Itachi and Hidan sitting in the kitchen at breakfast*

Deidara: *mumbling as he aggressively shovels cereal into his mouth*

Hidan: Oi, what’s up your ass, blondie? You’ve been talkin’ to yourself for ten minutes now.

Deidara, scowling: It’s that stupid Sasori, hm. He never listens to me about anything! He never lets me take the lead on missions because he’s older and he thinks he knows better about everything!

Hidan: Ugh, I know what you mean. Kakuzu is the same way. The old bastard won’t listen to a word I say, and just calls me a stupid brat all the damn time. Shit, Leader was really setting us up for some bullshit when he gave us young guys the old fogey partners.

Itachi: You both are frustrated with your older partners as well, eh? You should do what I did; make a “vision board” of your enemy and plot their downfall.

Deidara: … “Vision board”?

Itachi: *gets up* Come and see.

*Hidan and Deidara follow Itachi to his room, where they find every surface of his walls covered with different pictures of Kisame*

Deidara: …

Hidan: W-what the fuck is this supposed to do — ?

Itachi: Easy. You stare at the pictures all day long. You visualize scenarios in your mind that could cause them pain or discomfort. *touches one of the pictures and involuntarily sighs* Like kissing them until they run out of breath and are gasping. Or sitting on their lap and bouncing on them until they get really turned on, then getting up and walking out. Really so many possibilities to teach the other person a lesson.

Hidan: …

Deidara: …

Deidara: Itachi. I … I think that you might be in lo—

Itachi, carefully hanging up another Kisame photo (this one shirtless) in the corner: I hate him, Deidara.

[venerawrites]

I want to ask for angst if you do it...I need headcanons/scenarios about Itachi when he comes back from a long mission after a month and finds his s/o in the corner of the kitchen hugging her knees and resting her head on them,crying silently

(I love you so much♥️)

author's note: I wrote this as a short scenario, I really hope you enjoy! I've been in pretty angsty mood the past few days, so writing this request really helped me expressing some of my frustration. Anyway, thank you so much for requesting and for your kind words! <3

The sun was slowly dipping beyond the horizon, casting a golden glow over the crowns of the trees surrounding the forest path. Normally quite calm and even slow when it comes to moving, Itachi was not walking with a hurried step, unable to stop himself from sighing every time he had to stop so his teammate can catch up.

"You seem to be in a rush, Itachi", Kisame grinned, as he deliberately dragged his feet. The shark-like shinobi was usually not one to mess with his partner, but how could he control himself when he was witnessing the Uchiha's famous collected demeanour crumbling right in front of him?

Of course, he knew the reason for the hurry - YOU. While you never met officially, as your black-haired man tried to keep you as far as possible from anything relating to Akatsuki and his work, Kisame had waited for him to say his goodbyes almost every time they left for a mission. He knew your name, your age, where you lived, and that for some strange reason, despite being nothing more than an ordinary civilian, you had the famous Uchiha wrapped around your finger.

"I am", grumbled Itachi, his onyx eyes fixated on the road before them. Due to the nature of his job, being away was a regular occurrence for him and Kisame. Not only they were extraordinary ninjas, but they also were one of the few pairings in the organisation that worked well together, without constantly bickering or fighting each other.

One-month missions, however, were something that did not happen often, even to them. But when the stake was capturing all of the Jinchūriki, none of them could say no.

It was ironic really, how much Itachi was used to your presence. After the massacre, he promised himself he would never allow himself to grow closer to anyone else. The life of a shinobi was a lonely path, filled with pain and suffering, and he couldn't allow himself to get attached to someone else again.

But life often throws surprises at everyone and things rarely go "according to plan". When he first met you, it was purely by chance - you happened to live on the outskirts of the village where he was sent to and he met you one sunny day at the local market. You were struggling with carrying all of your groceries and as he watched you put your bags down every three steps to rest, he knew he had to give you a hand. As a sign of gratitude, you invited him for a cup of tea and apiece of homemade carrot cake.

Since that moment he couldn't stay away.

Itachi tried. He really tried to keep his distance and stop himself from falling from you. But you were stubborn, in love, and couldn't take a 'no' for an answer - all qualities, which captured his heart before he could even realise it. Even after the end of his mission, he continued visiting you during his free time, often staying for a few days before going on the road again. And while you never put an official label on your relationship, it was clear you were together - if not by the way he seemed to be caring and protective over you, then by the way he never missed pressing his lips against yours first thing when he saw you.

Once the men reached the so-familiar crossroad next to your house, Itachi stopped in place, before glancing at his partner.

"You go and report to Pain without me", he said blankly while getting two scrolls out of his pocket and passing them to Kisame, "I would be in the base in few days time."

The blue-skinned shinobi chuckled, grabbing the scrolls, before leaning toward the Uchiha with a wide smile on his lips.

"A few days, huh? You know you never introduced-"

"Go", interrupted Itachi, his tone now a few octaves lower. At first glance, his expression remained neutral, but Kisame could see the way his eyes held the slightest glint of irritation. With a loud laugh, he shook his head and started walking in the opposite direction of where he knew the Uchiha was heading.

"Send her my greetings", he shouted over his shoulder, his voice echoing around the forest, as his figure became smaller and smaller. Itachi watched his retreating form and only when he disappeared in the shadows, he allowed himself to relax and let out a sigh. With a quick step, he turned around and started making his way to your house.

Usually getting to the small wooden cottage, which you called 'home', took around ten minutes from the place where he separated from his partner. His eagerness to see you and hold you in his arms shortened that time almost half.

As he approached the building, his pace slowed, as his eyes scanned his surroundings. The wooden door was slightly ajar and he took a deep breath, trying to contain the growing mix of irritation and worry that was brewing inside his head. He told you numerous times to stop leaving your door open, especially when he was not here, but you never listened, insisting that it was for him.

"So you know when I am home or you have to use your spare key", you always joked, dismissing his concerns.

Pushing the door with a quiet creak, he stepped into the corridor, looking around for any signs of you. He could feel your presence nearby and he stilled for a few seconds, his eyes narrowing once he caught a glimpse of your raincoat carelessly thrown on top of the coat hanger, numerous dried mud drops covering the sleeves. You were not usually one to leave your stuff dirty like that - if anything, sometimes you went overboard with all the cleaning and scrubbing.

Something was wrong...

Moving deeper into the cottage, he heard barely audible sniffling coming from behind the door of the kitchen and without thinking twice, he grabbed the doorknob, slowly twisting it to the side and opening it as silently as he could. There, in the corner next to the fridge, you had your head buried between your legs, a series of small sobs and whimpers leaving your lips.

Itachi froze in place, his brain immediately switching to panic mode. Has something happened? Did someone threaten you? Hurt you? You seemed to not sensed his presence yet, as you remained unmoving, lost in your own bubble of pain and sorrow. The sight of you looking so weak and distressed made his whole body tense and he watched you for a few seconds, trying to figure out what was wrong.

Finally, with measured caution, he made a few steps toward you, closing the distance between you, before kneeling in front of your shrunken form. Gently, he reached out, his fingers brushing against your arm as a way to make you aware of his presence without scaring you.

His plan didn't work as the moment you felt something touching you, you jumped in your place, lifting your red and swollen gaze only to find your lover sitting in front of you and looking at you with concern. Sniffling, you wiped your cheeks and nose with the ends of your sleeves, trying to calm your breath.

"Itachi", his name came out as a choked whisper, "I'm sorry, I was just about to cook somet-"

The rest of the sentence got stuck in your throat as the Uchiha suddenly wrapped his hands around you, pulling you to his chest. Itachi was not good when it came to dealing with emotions, especially the ones of the people around him, but he wanted to show you that he was here for you. No matter if you decided to share with him what was the cause of your distress or if you preferred to keep it to yourself, he wanted to offer you all the support and love that he could.

Feeling the tears forming in your eyes once again, you buried your face in his chest, inhaling his musky scent. The sound of his heartbeat, slow and steady, seemed to calm your own and slowly your sniffles started to quiet down. Your own arms circled his body, gripping the back of his shirt, almost as if you were scared he would disappear if you let go.

"I missed you", you muttered against his clothed chest while nuzzling your nose against it. The man pressed his lips against the top of your head, tightening his embrace, before laying his chin next to your ponytail.

"I missed you more", the words slipped from his mouth as a sweet whisper, a quiet promise everything will be alright. His hands kept rubbing small, soothing circles on your back till he felt your body fully relaxing against him.

"I am sorry", you said again, pulling away from him and looking down at your lap, "I didn't mean for you to find me like this."

Itachi's brows furrowed and he looked at you for a few seconds in disbelief, before shaking his head and pressing two of his fingers against your forehead, taping it lightly.

"Don't apologize", the corners of his lips twitched upwards, "I am here for you. Whenever you're ready to talk or just need a shoulder to cry on, I'm here. Whatever it is... we are going to face it together. Okay?"

The question of what did you do to deserve a man like Itachi often swirled around your mind. He was caring, loving, sometimes funny, gentle and without any effort on his part, he made you fall absolutely crazy in love with him.

"Okay."

Smiling at your response, he pressed one more kiss on top of your head, before grabbing your arms and pulling you up from the floor. One of his hands remained on your waist, while the other one opened the fridge, curiously looking at the stocked food inside. You followed his gaze before a light blush covered your cheeks and you turned around, reaching for the apron neatly folded on top of the table.

"Are you hungry? I can quickly prepare some lunch straight away!", before you can put the piece of clothing, however, he grabbed it from your hands and tossed it on the kitchen counter, before turning back to you and nuzzling his nose against yours.

"How about you let me cook us some ramen now and then we can do the dinner together, hm?", he asked, pecking you on the lips before reaching for some eggs and sauce from the fridge. You opened your mouth to protest, but quickly closed it after he moved to the stove, organising his ingredients while humming a soft melody under his breath.

Your mouth curved into a small smile as you watched him busying himself in the kitchen, and you couldn't help but ask the question once again:

What the hell did you do in this life or the previous one to deserve him?

Whatever it was, you were thankful. And you were never letting him go.

cc artwork: Richard Lay

[mixelation]

akatsuki but ranked by if you (you, personally, a random tumblr user) could defeat them with a gun. none of them have the slightest idea what a gun is but they can probably sense it's a weapon based on your body language

9. deidara - deidara clocks you have a weapon but also he clocks you are a random non-ninja. if you finesse him right, you can engage him in a stupid argument and then he'll go "YOU THINK THAT WILL WORK ON ME, YOU DUMB FUCK?" and let you shoot him in the face. you do have to work him up juuuust right right though. if you piss him off too much too fast he will blow you up, but if he keeps his cool too long he'll make smarter decisions and just take the gun away from you

8. hidan - hidan will also just let you shoot him in the face. the difference here is hidan will then get back up. you better run fast

7. kisame - kisame is not stupid enough to let you wave around an unknown weapon in front of him. however he IS made of actual human organs so if you ran in shooting maybe you'd get lucky. remember that even if you wound him, if it doesn't take him out immediately, he can still fight you <3

6. sasori - if you can hit sasori in one very specific spot, he dies. however i'm not sure how you're going to accomplish this unless you are some sort of trained sniper. you hit anything else? you miss? you die. also there might be poison gas while all this is happening

5. konan - konan turns into paper. however she also has human organs in there somewhere. idk, maybe if you survived the millions of exploding tags--

4. itachi - itachi once got hit by lightning and then stood back up. so uh. yeah. he will not let you get in close enough for easy aiming and he's already divined what a gun is based on logic that sounds like complete nonsense when spoken aloud. there's a 72% chance you are already in an illusion aiming at your own foot. maybe if you are that highly trained sniper from the sasori scenario you have a chance? but if he doesn't die instantly, you're going in tsukuyomi. sorry

3. pein - pein in an animated corpse. shooting him does not much of anything. the only thing that prevents him from ranking higher is i think on the extremely slim chance you managed to find his real body and get past his collection of animated corpses and konan, nagato wouldn't do much to stop you

2. zetsu - i think zetsu would..... just regenerate? giggle slightly? idk, i don't think a gun would work on him at all. however he might just leave you alone because he doesn't care about you! you wouldn't win, but you might not die!

1.kakuzu - idk man kakuzu is a rage monster made of mysterious tentacles and five human hearts and his skin can turn invulnerable. even if you get lucky and kill one heart, he's ABSOLUTELY going to rip you in two with his bear hands

[imagineakatsuki]

Akatsuki members with an S/O who's really kind and soft hearted, someone who goes out of their way to keep them safe and maybe even spoils them a bit? Idk I think it could be fun.

Deidara and Nagato: They bask in the attention and happily indulge in being spoiled. They’re fully aware of what their s/o is doing and don’t really care for the potential consequences of getting used to being cared for. They’re both equally needy, but Nagato’s stems from his sad childhood while Deidara just wants his s/o’s regard.

Itachi and Sasori: They don’t know whether to pull away from this kind of pure affection or give in. It’s been so long since they received love like this that it almost hurts to be exposed to it. They’re scared to get close and become attached (Sasori) because they feel like they don’t deserve it (Itachi).

Konan and Hidan: They like the attention, but don’t allow it to get out of hand. While they appreciate the care for their well-being that they would otherwise forget (Hidan) or ignore (Konan), there is such a thing as “too much.” Just like a cat that will bristle when you pet it for too long, they will stop their s/o because they’re still very much independent adults, thank you.

Kisame and Obito: They love being spoiled and their s/o’s kindness reminds them that there is still some good in this world. However, every interaction has this undercurrent of uncertainty and anxiety. They don’t know if they deserve such care from someone so pure and are scared, waiting for the other shoe to drop (whether it’s their s/o pulling away from them or their s/o just simply dying on them, both scenarios prevent them from enjoying the interactions as much as they should be).

Kakuzu: He would not like an s/o like this and is very prickly whenever they spoil him or, god forbid, “mother” him. He’s lived for so long - alone, at that - and he’s been just fine! Breaking his self-sufficient, self-isolating habits and “the only person you can trust is yourself” attitude will take a lot of effort and time. Additionally, these interactions with his s/o remind him a little too much of a previously happy life and now-dead wife that he would rather forget.

Zetsu: They become immediately attached to their s/o and begin to associate them with their actual mother. Depending on how the s/o approaches it, they may or may not be able to sway Zetsu from their goals by taking Kaguya’s place.

Admin S

[hailuchiha]

Waitwaitwait I had a THOT (pun intended lmao) What if Big Bad Kisame non cons Itachi's sister? Girl could be like 5'2 or 5'3 getting bodied by his 7 ft frame??? Itachis knowledge or involvement or lack there of is up to you !!

this was such a different prompt, and unexpectedly fun to write! i love writing itachi smut, but having kisame take advantage of his sister was just *chef's kiss* plus, he's so close to itachi and technically everything happened because of itachi... so this time, i went for a kisame scenario lol

i've just posted the prompt fill for this lovely request!

caretaker

[thottyimagines]

Heyy, i really love ur akatsuki headcanons, like every one of them is so believable lmaoo.

Could u do akatsuki headcanons where their s/o asks them to hold their peepee while they pee? I swear there was one exact ask on tumblr but it cant find it

Thanks and i hope its not a weird question but they r weirdos anyways so

Thank you!

I've gotten a variation of this ask several times which is telling me the people (or just one tenacious anon) really want to know, so...god, here goes nothing:

Pein is...weirdly complicated, given the real body in the basement/paths for his bidding situation, but I'd say the only way he'd allow it is if it's absolutely necessary because his actual bod is too weak to even help himself. I imagine he just diapers the poor thing and gives Konan the honor of cleaning him up, though, so he doesn't really need an s/o to aid in that venture.

Konan, should she have one for her s/o to hold, would be kind of confused by the request, but not put off. I don't think she'd really get it, but sure, knock yourself out, s/o.

Itachi would get flustered and embarrassed, should his s/o ask to do the holding for him. He'd reassure them that he is more than capable of performing his own bathroom duties, from ablutions to urination, and their concern is...well, kind, if unwarranted. He'd probably wonder if his s/o is noticing his deteriorating eyesight and then frets that he can no longer aim, and everyone has felt too awkward to tell him. He starts using the bathroom with his Sharingan always on and the door locked tight so he can make sure he cleans up properly.

Kisame would probably be amused and go for it. He'd somehow find a way to be flirtatious and horny about it, but hey, his s/o was the one to be a freak and ask in the first place so as far as he's concerned it's all fair game.

Hidan would only accept if he could be flirtatious and horny about it. He'd probably just assume his s/o developed a piss kink or something, I'll be real with you.

Kakuzu initially shuts that down with a firm "no." If his s/o is persistent, he'd relent, but he'd be annoyed and brusque about it. If their finger gets caught in the zipper when he's done, well, that'll show them to stop impeding his business.

Deidara gets very embarrassed and flustered, like Itachi, but in a weirdly flattered, excited way. He's young and horny and will gleefully embrace any opportunity to have someone touching his dick, even for something as mundane as him peeing.

Sasori probably didn't give his puppet twink bod any genitalia, as he needs to neither pee nor fuck in this form. He'd be sure to let his s/o know that.

Tobi would get embarrassed and deflect and probably accuse his s/o of being a pervert (fair), but forgive them because they're just too cute. They're still not giving the assist, though. He's self-conscious about how it looks soft.

Zetsu also doesn't seem to have the anatomy required for this scenario, given he's running around in the buff all day long and no one has ever commented about his bits hanging out and about.

[nardo-headcanons]

Yandere Deidara and Kisame HCs? 👀 Maybe also how they react if someone is pestering their darling in front of them?

a/n: this took me a while lol. Here's a little warning in beforehand that these behaviors are pretty toxic IRL and should only be enjoyed in the realm of fiction! TW for toxic/abusive/possessive behavior, mention of murder

Yandere!Deidara Headcanons

I can see Deidara becoming a yandere for his darling out of a sense of entitlement. Being related to the Tsuchikage family has its perks; he was spoiled rotten as a kid.

His darling is his, and his alone, simply because of the fact he can have them. Bonus points if you show interest in his artistic endeavors.

But do not be mistaken. Despite his motivations not being as deep and psychological as others, it doesn't make him less persistent and protective.

He has had access to the earth country's best education and knows about complex physics, chemistry and pyrotechnics. As someone who develops and detonates bombs for a living, he knows how to defuse (hehe) situations like these.

He's pretty chill at first, though if the pestering gets more and more annoying, he will casually evelop the asshole daring to pester you in a kibaku nendo caterpillar and threaten to blow it up if they don't leave you alone.

Yandere!Kisame Headcanons

After being seen (and treated as) a monster by everyone around him, having you treat him with the basic human decency and respect is enough to make him swoon over his darling.

Fiercely protective, he would gut anyone and everyone alive who would even dare to put his beloved darling in danger.

Kisame would never force himself on you and instead treats you with the same affection and love he gets (and hopes to continue getting) from you. Despite his reputation as a brutal fighter, you only get to see his gentleman, polite side.

When he sees his darling getting pestered by some hooligan, he would watch from afar at first, letting you deal with the situation.

Upon the realization that you're in need of assistence, he will swoop right in, gently asking you to turn away and close your eyes so you won't have to witness what he is about to do.

Once you have turned away, he starts outright massacring the aggressor(s) until they are left as a bloody pulp to be fed to his sharks.

[suvidrache]

Sleeping Headcanons - Part 1

age in bio when interacting. minors do not interact.

Word Count: 176 / Read it on AO3 | Offline Version | Part 2

Featuring: Deidara, Hidan, Kakuzu, Kisame, Nagato (Pain)

Deidara

Sleeps shirtless. Will either cuddle or have an arm around you.

Hidan

Naked, he loves the feeling of your naked body against his. Will cuddle and be very touchy. Plus, sex is a lot easier without the removal of clothes.

Kakuzu

He sleeps shirtless, cuddling s/o or an arm around you.

Kisame

Sleeps naked, cuddling s/o or s/o on top of him.

Nagato (Pain)

He sleeps shirtless or fully clothed and will cuddle you.

© SUVIDRACHE — do not copy, translate, modify, or plagiarize my work. reblogs are appreciated!

Tag List: @eli-chris / Join My Tag List Here!

[lavender-long-stories]

I know I just got done with a pile of Halloween one-shots but last year I did a series of 12 One-Shots of Christmas last year and plan to do something like it again. As I don't normally do prompts, requests, or commissions, I like to use these one-shots to do some requests that have been asked of me throughout the year.

Request can be for a dynamic, trope, pairing, vibes, etc. It doesn't have to be concrete, tho it may help.

Requests do not need to be Christmas-themed but will likely be written in a winter setting.

Requests can be a bonus chapter on a completed story. (I have done holiday chapters for What He Left Behind and Lavender Umbrellas in the past.)

Any winter-themed scenarios are appreciated.

When requesting, please keep in mind what I write. I write mostly fluff/angst, slice-of-life, non-smut Hinata-centric rare-pair content. So, I believe it is obvious that I will not be writing NaruHina smut on request. (There are plenty of lovely writers who will.)

All stories will have a happy ending. 🔪

Requests can be made in the comment section of this post, in a DM, in an ASK, or on Discord if you are on a server with me.

Requests that do not make it to the series will remain on my request list for next year or the next time I write a pile of one-shots (SasuHina month, for example)

For those who are curious about what I have written in the past, here is a link to last year's holiday one-shots, and here is a link to my usual work.

Pairing I have done for easy reference: Hinata/Sasuke, Hinata/Itachi, Kisame/Hinata, Gaara/Hinata, Hinata/Shikamaru, Hidan/Hinata, Hinata/Ino, Hinata/Sasori, Hinata/Lee, Fugaku&Hinata (platonic fluff)

Pairings I will be doing in the near future: Choji/Hinata. Deidara/Hinata, Kankuro/Hinata