#deidara imagines

[indigosuvi]

Sleeping Headcanons - Part 1

age in bio when interacting. minors do not interact.

Word Count: 176 / Read it on AO3 | Offline Version | Part 2

Featuring: Deidara, Hidan, Kakuzu, Kisame, Nagato (Pain)

Deidara

Sleeps shirtless. Will either cuddle or have an arm around you.

Hidan

Naked, he loves the feeling of your naked body against his. Will cuddle and be very touchy. Plus, sex is a lot easier without the removal of clothes.

Kakuzu

He sleeps shirtless, cuddling s/o or an arm around you.

Kisame

Sleeps naked, cuddling s/o or s/o on top of him.

Nagato (Pain)

He sleeps shirtless or fully clothed and will cuddle you.

© SUVIDRACHE — do not copy, translate, modify, or plagiarize my work. reblogs are appreciated!

Tag List: @eli-chris / Join My Tag List Here!

[simicule]

yeah I know about your CURRENT f/os... but tell me about your exes 👀 was there drama? Or just drifting apart...

[obitos-whore]

The Akatsuki members as your boyfriend/girlfriend

I'll be brutally honest here and won't sugarcoat things.

TW: toxic relationships, mention of manipulation, stalking and death threats, mention of sex, criminals trying to encourage you to commit theft and murder (y'know, the usual Akatsuki shenanigans)

18+, Minors do not interact!

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Pain/Nagato

• Due to him being the leader of Amegakure and the Akatsuki (and a God), he's busy most of the time. But that doesn't mean he's unaware of the things you're up to

• He uses his rain to track your every move whenever you're out and about in the village and tasks Konan with keeping watch over you. And in case she is away on a mission, he will use one of the other Pains' to make sure you "Stay out of trouble"

• Despite his usually cold and distant demeanor, he can be surprisingly attentive and even affectionate. Not overly of course, but every once in a while, a small remnant of the old Nagato shines through

• Not that big on pet names and actually prefers calling you by your real name. Might relent and call you something like "Treasure" or "Little one"

Konan

• Very sweet and caring girlfriend who tends to be a bit overprotective (can't blame her though *cough* Yahiko *cough*)

• Can be quite possessive too and, although she does give you a lot of freedom, uses her mere presence to intimidate anyone who even thinks of trying to woo, or worse, harm you

• Only you are blessed to see her attentive and loving side. But the thing is: Konan, being a victim of many losses throughout her life, also tends to love bomb you every chance she gets. Means her affection can sometimes be suffocating, even if she genuinely means well

• "Honey", "Sweetie", and "Gorgeous" are her top three favourite pet names for you

Itachi

• One of the few Akatsuki members who actually treats you right and doesn't throw insults at you, threatens to kill you, manipulates you or straight up ignores you

• Attentive and caring. He'll notice and remember the smallest things about you and will try to surprise you with your favourite things as much as he can

• You, along with Sasuke, are his top priority

• Calls you "Dear" and "Love"

• Only calls you by your pet name when the two of you are alone. Not out of embarrassment, but calling you by your pet name is something intimate to him and he'd like to keep such things private

Kisame

• Like Itachi, Kisame is one of the few who treats his partner with respect and sees them as equals and not some annoying baggage that he somehow ended up carrying with him and can do with as he pleases

• Considering his strength, enormous size and past, he's surprisingly gentle with his significant other. Both physically and emotionally, although he will be blunt if something bothers him

• Pretty chill dude who literally never gets jealous and lets you do whatever you want and hang out with whoever you want. Not because he doesn't care, but because he actually got some healthy self-esteem and also has faith in your abilities

• Likes to call you "Shortie" and "Smartass" when he feels mischievous and "Sugar" when he's being genuinely affectionate

Tobi/Obito

• Actually very possessive of you (but in subtle, almost "innocent" way) and makes sure you never stray out of his sight, or, Jashin forbid, get 'too comfy' with others

• He's as shameless as he is chaotic and will flirt with you and even make some inappropriate jokes in front of everyone just to see you get embarrassed and blush

• Teases you a lot in a playful way and always makes up for it by giving you lots and lots of cuddles afterwards

• Whenever he doesn't get his way, he will manipulate and guilt trip you by whining and fake sobbing while making himself look like a kicked puppy until you give in to his demands

• His pet names for you are "Dearie" and "Sweetheart"

Sasori

• If there's even a smidge of humanity left in him, you're definitely the only one who gets to see it

• He understands the concept of love and physical affection. But since he's a literal puppet, he doesn't need either of those. Lucky for you though, he will at least try to meet your physical and emotional needs. Don't expect too much though

• While Sasori is usually good with words and knows how to get his message across flawlessly most of the time, he sometimes says the weirdest and most unsettling shit that he perceives as a genuine compliment, but others find... strange. On several occasions, Sasori has complimented your appearance, comparing it to a true work of art, while in the same sentence expressing his desire to preserve that beauty by turning you into a puppet

• Don't even try your luck with asking him to be intimate with you. The answer will always be a firm "No"

• Doesn't bother with cutesy names and will just call you by your real name. Although, if he feels like it, he'll be calling you "Darling"

Deidara

• Deidara, as we all know, is quite impulsive and often lets his frustrations out on you, either by lashing out on you verbally, or during sex. Though he definitely prefers the latter

• He has a sketchbook full of drawings of you which he's too embarrassed of to admit its existence to you

• Just like Tobi, he's pretty shameless when it comes to flirting with you when others are around. Loves to make sexual jokes and comments and if you wear something he really likes, he'll make sure that everyone knows his honest opinion about it

• "Beautiful" and "Babe" are his go to pet names for you

Hidan

• This man is a walking red flag and dull as a rock when it comes to romance and feelings (and the fact that he's a sadistic psychopath doesn't really help here)

• Doesn't care about anniversaries, mainly because he forgets them. But he's also not big on things like cuddling or hand holding

• Threatens to sacrifice you to Jashin quite regularly whenever he's annoyed by something you did or said

• He's by far the worst when it comes to decency, because that's one of the many things he lacks. When he's horny, the entirety of the Akatsuki will know about it. Whether it be with his inappropriate comments and suggestive choice of words, or the fact that he's raw dogging you somewhere less private

• Doesn't really care much about pet names. When he feels like calling you something 'sweet', it'll be something like "Doll", "Babe" or "Cunt"

Kakuzu

• That old cheapskate doesn't even remember how he ended up with you, or why he even bothers with keeping you around. To him, you're loud, annoying and worst of all, expensive

• Has threatened to kill you on multiple occasions, yet for some reason, he can't really bring himself to. As annoying and bothersome as you are, there's something about you that makes him want to keep you around (Probably the fact that you're good at roasting Hidan, which he finds even more annoying. Either that, or one of his hearts is defect)

• Will spend as little money on you as humanly possible. You want flowers? Go pluck them off a field or something. You want new clothes, like that new jacket you saw the other day? Just walk into the store and take it. What's stopping you? The law? The shop owner? Screw the law and kill the owner

• Mostly just calls you "Brat" or simply refers to you by your real name

Zetsu

• Nobody knows how Zetsu managed to get a s/o, not even Zetsu himself. But he doesn't really mind and enjoys your company regardless

• He's more the quiet type and rather listens to you rambling about your day and will occasionally respond with a few words to show that he's actually listening and interested

• He startles you quite a lot when he suddenly appears in a wall or right in front of you. He always apologizes for it, but deep down he loves to hear your startled yelps

• Since he's technically two people in one body, they both share the duty of being your boyfriend. With black Zetsu being the more serious but also more distant one, who, when he feels like it, plans dates and puts serious thought into the gifts he gets you. Meanwhile white Zetsu is the laid back one, who cracks jokes (mostly inappropriate ones) all the time and initiates physical contact

• Black Zetsu often just calls you "Little one" or "Little flower", while White Zetsu gets a hella lot more creative than that and would unironically call you things like "Pookie" or "Snuggle-muffin"

[cosmic-glow]

Request: "May I request soft akatsuki headcannons for a reader who loves to bake and cook? It's a passion of mine, and a great stress reliever! There's nothing I won't try and try to make!"

Notes: First of all, I'm sorry it took me so long to respond 😭 I also like cooking and I completely agree with you! I hope you like what I wrote, good reading!

"Are you hungry, love?"- Akatsuki

Warnings: no pronouns; no use of "y/n"; pure cuteness. Gender: Soft Headcanons. Characters: Itachi; Kisame; Deidara; Sasori; Kakuzu; Hidan; Zetsu; Tobi/Obito; Pein; Konan.

Itachi Uchiha

He always offers you help in the kitchen.

He is very picky when cooking for someone but is easily satisfied with whatever you cook for him.

He feels obligated to return the favor by cooking for you too. That's why he took charge of breakfast, always waking up before you to prepare what you like.

Likes hot foods and pasta. Loves handmade sweets.

He prefers traditional foods, but accepts trying new flavors when he's with you.

He loves going out to buy new ingredients with you, he knows a lot about the subject and would be of great help.

Kisame Hoshigaki

You know that popular saying that the best way to conquer a man is through his stomach? It applies very well to this man.

He likes to be spoiled with food and will be grateful for it so.. please cook for him.

His heart feels warm when he comes home and smells something delicious you are preparing.

He likes foods with a sweet and sour taste, and he loves meat. He also loves sweets, so it's not hard to please Kisame.

He loves trying new flavors with you. If you want, he'll even help you in the kitchen, but he's not very good (he's a bit clumsy).

He'll find a way to say thank you, whether it's washing the dishes, giving gifts, taking you out to eat, all of the above, whatever you prefer.

He's the kind of guy who would eat what you prepared even if it was completely burnt if he knew you put effort into it.

Deidara

He likes fast food, but is very happy when you cook for him.

Thanks to you, he's starting to eat more healthily, because he has a childish palate and is very resistant to exploring new flavors.

He likes spicy foods because are like an explosion in the mouth.

"I have to say, honey, your cooking is an art!" - he says with his mouth full when he really likes it.

One of his favorite moments of the day is when you're eating something you've prepared or he's bought, watching a movie and talking about anything.

It's something very simple, but if you make a cake just for him on his birthday, he'll feel so loved that he might even cry a little.

(Sometimes he brags to the other members about having such a skilled s/o in the kitchen).

But please keep this boy the hell away from the kitchen! When I say he's a complete chaos cooking, it's because the kitchen almost always explodes! Literally!

Sasori

He often forgets that he still needs to eat due to his puppet body, so he's grateful that you remind him. He still needs to eat a little every now and then to ensure a bit of vital energy or something.

And yes, that was the lie he invented to not disappoint you. And regardless of whether you believed it or not, he always eats your food, even though he knows how much work it will take to clean his insides afterwards (don't worry, he'll probably come up with something to solve this).

Understand, he lied because he knows how important cooking is to you, he sees how much you work at it, but had the misfortune of being with a guy who doesn't need to eat… but he couldn't risk hurting you for something that's his fault.

Sasori only eats your food and no one else's, no matter how much they insist.

He likes foods with strong spices, he no longer feels flavors in the same way as when he was a human.

At the end of every meal, he politely thanks you for the delicious food and offers to help with the dishes.

Kakuzu

He likes hot, very hot, and traditional foods. Doesn't like sweets.

He's great in the kitchen and sometimes cooks for you too, as a thank you. Kakuzu has many years of experience in the kitchen, take the opportunity to ask questions and get some tips, he may not show it but he really likes to help you.

Maybe you don't know, but Kakuzu practically never eats out, he knows that some people want him dead and could easily poison his food. So for him to eat everything you prepare without hesitation is really a great show of trust.

He is very silent while eating, but he doesn't mind if you want to talk about your day, he will be listening to every part.

He really appreciates your food, getting involved and asking about the spices you used, how you prepared it, he really likes it when you test a new recipe.

Always at the end of every meal he thanks you for the food and gets up before you to clear the table and wash the dishes, a silent way of thanking you.

Hidan

Spicy and crunchy foods and sour desserts, it's true heaven for him...

As incredible as it may seem, Hidan is very picky about his food, it's unbearable to go out to eat with him, it seems like he always makes a point of finding some flaw.

But it's the total opposite with you, he eats everything you prepare without complaining too much, just teasing you a little as always. Except if he is angry with you for some reason, then he will be impossible, no matter what you prepared, he will not eat it.

Hidan has a very annoying childhood palate, so don't force him to eat something he doesn't really like, like vegetables for example.

You'll probably have some arguments about him drink any kind of blood but not wanting to eat the soup you made (for example), but it won't change anything.

Whenever you enter the kitchen, Hidan follows right behind to find out what you're going to prepare and also because he loves to annoy you while you're cooking. He tickles you, bites you, hugs you, kisses you and even steals some utensils to disturb you before you kick him out of the kitchen.

Zetsu

He likes meat a lot, in fact you thought it was the only thing he could eat.

He is very impatient and even hugs you trying to convince you to let him eat before you finish.

"I don't care that it's not ready yet and it's raw, I'm hungry, love. Let me eat it just the way it is."

Not a very good critic of your recipes, he will eat literally anything you put in front of him and thank you for it.

You are the one who teaches him to have a more refined palate and he loves trying new flavors with you.

Zetsu grows a vegetable garden just for you, with everything you need fresh and tasty for your recipes.

Tobi/Obito Uchiha

Tobi >loves< sweets, make sweets for him and you'll have him curled up in the palm of your hand.

Both Tobi and Obito don't like spicy food.

He feels so loved when you cook for him <3 (a tip: prepare ramen for him when he's sad, it'll make him feel better).

Whenever he comes home early he brings you some sweets he bought at the bakery as a treat.

This is another man who is very easy to win over with his stomach. He'll feel very special if you tell him you've prepared something just for him. Make him your guinea pig for new recipes, he really doesn't mind and always gives you great feedback.

He always offers you the first bite out of respect, he is as happy to see you eating and talking about how tasty it is as he is to eat something you prepared.

Pein

Pein went through long periods of starvation as a child, so as much as it may seem, he isn't very picky about what he eats.

Likes hot and spicy foods. Hate sweets.

He is a great fan of your food, even if you've accidentally burnt it or overdone the seasoning, he'll be happy to eat something you've lovingly prepared.

Due to his work as leader of Akatsuki, he often forgets to eat properly. It's you who show up at his office and remind him to eat, with something you've prepared in hand, he's really grateful for your care.

He is always attentive to your needs. Did you like a cuter utensil kit than the ones you have? Are your. Wanting new seasonings? Suddenly they appear in your pantry. Everything you need.

Pein always makes it clear how he likes you to cook but that he doesn't want you to be overwhelmed with it, so he does everything to make this task easier for you, including ordering something from restaurants for you to eat and enjoy your free time together.

Konan

He likes mild sweets and, ironically, spicy foods. (Please make sweets for Konan, she likes a lot).

She will always feel like she is bothering or burdening you when you cook for her.

Konan isn't that good in the kitchen, so she's grateful to have a s/o who cooks so well. Sometimes she watches you cook to try to learn something, in an attempt to return the favor one day.

Buy a lot of sweets for you and make a point of always keeping your pantry well stocked so you don't have to worry about buying ingredients.

As I said, Konan doesn't like to burden you, so very often she takes you on restaurant dates.

Konan loves the culinary tours you plan, she could listen to you talk for hours about techniques, recipes and ideas. She loves seeing how excited you get talking about it.

Sorry for any typos;

Buy me a coffee?

Masterlist

[saintjudasi]

fine arts majors

[devildanya]

Itachi stop this

[immoralimmortals]

I READ THEM TAGS OFFER EM UP MY LEIGE I NEED MARRIAGE HEADCANONS FOR THE AKATSUKI

(EDIT: this is by far my most popular post! If you like this, I have a longform akatsuki x reader fic pinned on my blog and linked here!)

You water my crops and put the stars in the sky. I'm madly in love with you. I'm bringing this post to your feet much like a cat does their favorite toy. I have caught it. Be proud of me, mother.

Even if it's less about the whole life of being married and more about the actual act of marrying, hope that's ok!

Akatsuki Marriage Headcanons, for real this time:

Pain:

I am a huge proponent of the popular fanon opinion that if this man takes you so seriously as to express a label for it (love, spouse, etc.), he is at the brink of worshiping your feet. Don't get me wrong, in terms of the arrangement of proposal and marriage ceremony, the leader is still in charge; however, he is dictating with every detail painstakingly about you. If there is decor, it is your favorite color. If you expressed you like a certain gemstone, he tracks it down for proposal and gets the finest cut upon your finger. You don't want an actual wedding? No problem, you're just going to come home to several thousand lit candles and a profession of commitment as deep from his heart as a corpse is in the grave.

The idea is that it is necessary for this bond to be formalized, at least for his own sake. Pain would refer to it as something you need to hear. If he is nothing else, he is serious about whatever he experiences emotionally; that goes for both his immense suffering and his most delicate of joys. He declares you his, neigh: commands...but only after you assure him yes.

If a traditional proposal is done, it must be in private. He dares not be too exposed. It's already so much that he has become vulnerable to you.

It is a hard privilege to earn. And so, the Akatsuki leader pays you back in kind. As long as you both shall live, you are his deity. You will never want, not as long as he is allowed to bask in you.

Pain kisses you firmly, one hand on your wrist and one on your back. You are to feel both his presence and his commitment.

A wedding song for you: Take me to Church by Hozier (yes I am a sucker for this song, yes yes and yes) or Ship in a Bottle by fin

Konan:

All at once, her heart aches in the best and worst ways, as it is such a curse of the Akatsuki to have had their loves taken too soon. Up till this point, she has been passive, letting you lead the relationship, but now- despite how much she yearns for the same- the angel stands her ground.

"Why?" you ask her in retaliation. She's thin-lipped as she refuses the real answer. It takes a couple tries over a few, staggered moments in private for the truth to tumble out:

She does not want another person she loves to die because of her. It's irrational; your death is not predetermined by the commitment. And yet it remains. She is scared, and the closer you get the more she stings.

But you have to press closer. You have to assure, promise, fight your way back into her heart as it tries to close you out in self protection. You succeed, thanks to one of the reasons you adore Konan: her capacity to hope, no matter the circumstance. Reminder her of that, and she can only be yours.

The wedding is small, the two of you and whomever you deem precious enough to witness. (I imagine probably not even a full handful). It is twilight and the color of the world is shaded blue. Blue as her hair, blue as she feels whenever you're away, blue in the same way the purest of whites are to the human eye. You are pristine. The paper that folds the bouquets that drape around you are spotless and glow in the moonlight in such a way they're almost lanterns. Their starkly pale and crisply folded nature surround as if it is her prayer that everything that is good may stay that way.

Konan kisses you in such a way that no part of you but your lips touch one another. It is chaste, it is soft, it is a seal.

A wedding song for you: Saturn by Sleeping at Last (I cry every single time I hear this in full. I sincerely think there are few songs that have so viscerally touched me like this one has.) or Soul Meets Body by Death Cab for Cutie

Obito:

You cannot get his single-mindedness off of Rin. There is no way around it, and anything meant as distraction will not only fail but backfire on you. Therefore, if you are this deep into a partnership, you are there not in spite of her but thanks to her. You will be compared and contrasted to no end; this is not cruel, it is merely how he shapes his worldview in regards to goodness and love. You are his second chance. You are his solitude.

You don't get opportunity to propose. He will tell you first.

It is every definition of a ceremony, almost ritualistic, almost like they're crowning a king/queen. The ceilings are tall and decorated with the visage of ancestors and gods. Incense is lit and the setting sun sets the room on fire with orange and red. You are presented to him, ornate in the way he demands. A masked face cannot hide the lust and satisfaction in his voice. His hand reaches out, and you take it. For perhaps the first time, the mask is tilted to hide from their audience while still showing his scarred face to you.

His kiss is hard. Not sloppy, but hard. His hand is on the back of your head, and he going to press you into him until your soul enters his body.

A wedding song for you: Come Along by Cosmo Sheldrake or Sick of Losing Soulmates by dodie

Bad relationship songs because I can't control myself: Anybody Else by Dom Fera (THE song of all time for me, I love it) or Sex with a Ghost by Teddy Hyde

Zetsu:

Marriage? That's a fascinating concept. He's never had the desire for this kind of relationship before, but as you talk more and more of it, the more he grasps. In the end, it is a concept that matters to you, and he can appreciate the sentiment of it.

The weirdest part, honestly, is that you reserved such a thing for him.

Though he follows along (you must guide the entire arrangement), he quietly, curiously doubts the whole time. But your guiding hand is so soft as you take him and lead, so nice onto his skin as you select two rings and slide one on each color of hand. You make no mistake: it is both you are marrying. It is both you are committing to. That recognition is his first step into a hesitant acceptance of your eternal love.

When the time comes, you walk him to the first place you met, beside a large tree in a clearing with no human settlement in sight. None of the "don't see the bride/groom" tradition, it has no room here. Any amount of people you want are there, regardless of if it is everyone or no one. (He would prefer no one, but this is all for you, after all). As you're about to kiss him, he makes one request. It is the only thing Zetsu has asked for in all of this time:

Let him taste you.

How can you tell him no?

So his bi-colored lips part, taking your bottom lip into his first, and then rounded teeth gently drag the flesh into his mouth. Pressure is applied and you taste your blood, though fleetingly as he drinks it in. In all the time you've known him, this is the closest Zetsu has ever been to you. In this symbolic action, you have finally gained his full and complete trust.

Zetsu's kiss is metallic but it is not cold. It is pensive, meditative, doing his best to understand that which you crave, and so he does his best to crave you. He cups your face in both of his ringed hands so he need not focus on anything but your taste.

A wedding song for you: & by Tally Hall or Yes to Err is Human, So Don't Be One by Will Wood

Hidan:

At first he's going to make fun of you. He's going to tell you that this is the dumbest idea he's ever heard. And when you go quiet and don't bring it up again, he is going to pin you down and demand to be told why you changed your mind.

This man wants you so much, he can't fathom it. What is marriage if you must slaughter your neighbor? Well...a lover is a step above neighbor, isn't it?

Thank Jashin he doesn't need to kill you to get married.

If you do a traditional wedding, he will drag his feet but he will do it. It's to your detriment alone, really, how obnoxious he'd be. If you pin a flower to his lapel, he'll rip it off. He'll spit to the side in disgust at any mushy gushy talk done in front of others in this bastardization of another religion's ritual. This isn't a real ceremony. Let him show you what a wedding really is:

It's going to end up with your blood on his body and his blood on yours. He makes you straddle his lap, in the middle of the symbol of his lord that he's drawn upon the floor. The same sigil is dangled from a chain, his necklace held between you, from your view right between his intense violet eyes. The metal is cold as it plays a barrier between your lips and his.

Hidan's kiss is reverent. If this Jashinist is marrying you, he fucking means it. Do more than tolerate the cut a knife makes into your palm; pray to it.

...And then he will pray to you.

A wedding song for you: I Wanna Be Your Slave by Maneskin or Misanthrapologist by Will Wood

Bad relationship song I can't help but add: This is Love by Air Traffic Controller

Kakuzu:

Despite popular belief, this is not a man who fusses over money the way Scrooge does over every last coin. By the contrary, it is that he is a man that does not have much to give. This is in every sense, it turns out. Kakuzu is a man that has had all hope in humanity and for himself beat the hell out of him, so it's a shock to him if you hint at a desire for marriage. A mistake, that's what you're trying to make, here. At first he'll rebuff with few words but still sure, but it'll hitch onto him like a tick. A traditional man at heart, you know best to let him propose himself.

And so he does. It is the only time you've ever seen him doubt himself, but of course you tell him yes. As you throw your arms around him, that's when reality hits in the best of ways.

He does not wait, not if you don't oppose him. He takes you to a temple, middle of nowhere with no one either of you or your nations will know. For an old man, it's such a romantic, young man's task to arrange to elope. The priest marries you, as you sit side by side at the break of dawn upon his stoop. He wears his mask, still wears long robes to cover his stitches, but his silky brown hair drifts so beautifully with the wind; he will say this compliment is one he had of you and yours, when he looks back upon today. You are his world, intertwined in an immortal and mortal life.

Kakuzu does not kiss you at the wedding. That comes later, when no one else is there. He pulls down his mask and takes your mouth upon his, tangled until one of you can't breathe anymore.

A wedding song for you: Vanilla Curls by Teddy Hyde or Budapest by George Ezra

Deidara:

A flirt he may be, but a guy of commitment? Hell no. At first he's really flattered, chuckling and letting a large smirk trail up one side of his face. It falls when he realizes you're being serious. "Wait, really?" You nod, and his always-intense stare seems a bit closer to concerned.

"My dear...you're getting carried away, aren't you?" he offers like a second chance to not embarrass yourself.

Everything, as it always has for Deidara, has happened so fast it hits him before he recognizes what it is. Love is included, even and up until the point he's in this deep. Honestly? It terrifies him. He'll laugh and walk away, but it'll fucking haunt him.

A couple days of flying on a bird, all by his lonesome, and he returns with a bit of a different view. Life is short, beauty is fleeting: the opportunity is here and damned if he don't take it. He offers your hand- both in marriage and for a ride- and you soar into the sky.

There's no such thing as a traditional wedding, no need for it when the most beautiful things in the world are you and his art. Explosions and fireworks alike light up the night sky and he leans over to whisper his dedication upon your lips.

Deidara's kiss is, of course, bombastic. It's intense and with tongue and repeats, over and over, never lasting too long as he can't keep his love-drunk words to himself for longer than two seconds. Streamers and confetti flutter around your heads, grander than any parade for any newly wed prince or princess.

A wedding song for you: The Cult of Dionysus by The Orion Experience or Fear and Delight by The Correspondents

Sasori:

Only someone who knows him as well as you will pick up the subtlest shifts of the scorpion's expression, the way brown eyes barely widen. You bring it up, nearly like a dream you had, nearly like you're talking to yourself in your sleep, but he hears it. Sasori continues with his work, the monotony of woodwork allowing him to chew on the idea. A marriage isn't necessary, of course...but he also will lie to himself about how downright alluring the symbolism of a wedding is.

If the most beautiful things are eternal, why not your love?

If you've gotten him so far that Sasori will consider whatever form of affection he can manage in his barely organic heart, then he will make every second of your life never-ending bliss.

He decorates you, almost like one of his dolls, in the finest patterns of fabric and sleekest of jewelry. He pains over every inch of skin on top of muscle and bone, the way the ring slips on your finger and the way your wrist bends to do it. The ritual is an art piece, and you gaze upon him so marvelously... Your lips part with such slight but sure poise...

The venue is silent and you both are alone. Not even a bird caws, no insect chirps. Pure, clear as glass silence. You are the only two beings in all of existence. You will ascend time itself. A single candle is lit as you sit in the deepest depths of this cave, where no one may interrupt.

Where no one can hear him confess to you.

Sasori's kiss is soft, far too soft. He holds both of your hands so delicately, like they're on a string. Lines of chakra help you move into him in a way that is just right, just utterly perfect.

A wedding song for you: Thumbnail by Louie Zong and Brian David Gilbert or Dark of the Matinee by Franz Ferdinand

Kisame:

Shockingly enough, this guy is going to be your hardest sell. Perhaps predictably, it isn't because he dislikes marriage, settling down, falling in love. Disliking and opposing are very different things.

He panics, at least just a little the first time you mention it. "I'm a shinobi, you know. You won't see me very much." Time passes on, and your desire appears again:

"I'm a rough guy. Just take a second to think about what you're asking for, alright?"

More time, and more desperation on his part with your persistence:

"I am meant to die alone," he finally tells you outright. "Don't bother with me. You could be spending your time so much better than fussing over someone who isn't going to last."

But you do, and he does last. Unfortunately, he does last. It gnaws him to the bone.

"Alright," he'll ask you, a long time since you first expressed your wants, "Are you certain?" You say yes, of course you say yes. Bittersweet, sharp teeth smile. "Very well," the swordsman concedes.

You marry traditionally, though very small. A hood drapes over him, hiding his face as the priest speaks the seal of marriage. His hand clings to yours, so very afraid of losing you. Or worse: making you lose him.

With the formalities out of the way, his own way begins. Finally alone, you both plunge into deep water, a loud splash quickly muting to flooded ears. He holds your face as your hair drifts past him in strands noses nearly touching. Kisame gets a good look at you before he changes everything forever, closing his eyes.

Kisame's kiss is a leap of faith. It tastes like lake water and seaweed and his love. He presses all of you into him like a shell holds a pearl, limbs climbing around you as you suspend in water and sink. Breathe into him, breathe deep. Every last breath in his lungs is just for you.

A wedding song for you: Against the Kitchen Floor by Will Wood or If I'm Being Honest by dodie

Itachi:

The implications of this circumstance are astounding. He loves you- yes, of course he does- but what's more is that he loves you enough to be so selfish as to gift himself to you, even knowing the fate he's reserved. It is both impressive and heartbreaking. Have hope, you ask of him. That is all you ask of him. Give it a chance. It is what he wants, isn't it?

Of course it is. But are you okay if the inevitable comes true?

You pause, and he studies your naive, innocent eyes. But you know more than perhaps Itachi has realized. You know it is okay to treasure. It is okay to enjoy. The journey matters more than the destination. Yes, it is okay, you tell him, you love to love him all the same.

Dark eyes close. Then he will give you what is desired.

Kisame is present, of course, as well as the ancestors of the Uchiha clan in spirit. You are radiant, and he tells you so. You return the compliment in soft earnest. A single hand cups your cheek as he approaches, pausing to feel and taste your breath as it drifts into his mouth.

Itachi's kiss is barely there, like he's afraid of breaking glass. If you want to kiss deeper, you'll need to go in and get it yourself. Just don't mistake delicacy for a lack of interest. This is the most of his body he has ever given in his entire life. Just give him time.

A wedding song for you: Herbal Tea by Velvet Moon or Here For You by Good Co

[ijustwanttoreadfanfictionplease]

Imaging each Akatsuki member eating out y/n 😊

• Have you ever been eaten out by someone with peircings? That shit can hurt but pain is pein is pain. He will grab your thighs rough commenting about how it's obscene to be participating in this but will still give it his all. Or, his version of all 👀

• "It's only a slight pinch, no? Surely, you can handle the pain prior to pleasure"

• Definitely a clit nibbler and will try his damnest to make sure to edge you until you're crying with snot dripping down your face and drooling

• She knows what to do and how to do it well. Start off with long broad strokes that will turn into whatever she sees you're into. Fast paced and flexed tongue? Done. Slow and heavy soft kitten licks? Done. She's going to get you to cum.

• "It's okay, baby. See? You're enjoying this right? Much better then those /men/. Let a woman show you pleasure."

• Takes a small break to check up on you to see how you're doing. Otherwise she won't stop. She'll want to hear you /beg/ her to stop. Oh please you'll cry, I can't take it! Yes! You! Can! Just one more for Kon-mommy?

• Those long slender fingers are definitely trying to find your g-spot as his nose rubs against your clit, hot panting against your vulva "Please darling, I want to see you cum"

• Lots of praise, will ask you point blank what you like. Will not stop or change pace until you cum undone. He'll lower his tone and you'll hear the appreciation in his voice as he whispers "Beautiful."

• You're cumming once with him and it feels somehow even more intimate than having someone's face in your genitals can be.

• You're riding tonight baby. This man will make you sit there no matter what. Worried about your weight? Worried about looks? Fuck, stop, don't even. This man is pussy hungry. He will spread your lips and burrow in that bitch until he is sloppily making out with your hole.

• There's no talking, just his strong arms wrapped around your legs to hold you in place. If you start rocking against his nose as has his tongue deep in your pussy he'll feel obliged to lend a hand and place his hands on your hips to grip them bitches and rock them harder.

• Will make you cum at minimum twice. He won't stop until then.

• Okay he's like super inexperienced and you'd think the mouths on hands would give him some points.. but they don't. They bite too hard or lick to soft and fingering you I'd difficult as the mouths are, well.. bitey. Regardless, he's excited and thinks he'll win.

• "Gunna give you the best head, hm. Get that vagina so wet and tight for me!" He has the spirit I suppose. It's not going well and you're not really feeling it until he accidently discovers licking your clit at juuuuust the right angle got you a quiet gasp. From there it's go time.

• It'll feel nice but you probably won't cum still. He tried to spread your lips at the end to get a better angle but his hand bit the lip. Youre furious, in pain now, and didn't cum.

• "I won't be partaking in this." Atleast that what he says. As he watches you squirm confused. Why would he be here if he wasn't going to -- oh! A toy!

• He's a little cheater and uses a clit ducking machine along with a vibrating dildo. Will fuck you over and over and over and over and ov - "Ah, how many times is it? 10? We'll shoot for 15 my precious doll."

• You can't walk. You can't talk. Sasori has wrecked you. Ruined you. You may be begging for more next week who knows

• "Come on old man, 100 bucks says I make her cum faster." Hidan makes it a bet with Kakuzu almost immediately. He rushes in a bit too much but god damn is he really doing a number on you.

• He is sweating and panting like a dog in heat while making out with your clit. He wants you to cum now!! There's a bet in place!! But, he gets too cocky when you start ti really get into it and hold his head in place with your thighs. You're about to cum aaaaand "You gonna cum baby?" He stopped . He stopped and asked you a question ; hes not even fingering you anymore fuck!!!

• Takes 10 minutes to come since he keeps moving and stopping when the going gets good. Takes no hints and is just being annoying with it

• Looks you in the eyes while towering over you, "Make it 200." It looks like he's going to eat you and not the way you'd like! Eep! He will absolutely lay you flat on your back and grab your thighs so hard as he pulled you to his mouth.

• This man is CONCENTRATING! Daddy Kakuzu has been around he know what to do and gets down to it. His thick fingers pumping inside you hitting that g-spot, the lewd wet noises as he is liking and sucking in your clit. You can barely contain yourself as your toes curl and your moans get louder. You hear him grunt as he pushes his face somehow more into you.

• You cum within 3 minutes. World record baby. Well, akatsuki record I guess

• This is Tobi everyone, say hi tobi! Tobi is tobi as tobi is no one but Tobi! That's right! He wants to play a game too! Everyone else is playing with you, why can't he? "MY TURN!!"

• Will not take off the mask. Will not finger you. But god damn the sight if your naked pussy is going into the spank bank. Maybe it's time to rethink who knows about obit-- Whats that? You're trying to tell him it's not a game? Oh, this is fun.

• Is thoroughly enjoying the misery of you trying to explain you're being tongue fucked by the others. Wants a thorough explanation. Wants you to talk about what you liked and didn't. His cock is weeping and you will be too if you keep blushing asking if it's really okay for someone like him to hear this from you.

[reiketsunomizunomegami]

Akatsuki reaction when their s/o dies

Feat: Kisame Hoshigaki, Itachi Uchiha, Deidara, Sasori, Kakuzu, and Hidan

Warning: some cursing, SFW, Angst

Kisame Hoshigaki

-the pain was too much for him

-doesn't know how to react as he held your lifeless body into his arms

-Why?! Why did you saved him instead of saving yourself?!

-He Promised himself to protect you with his life and will do anything to make you happy as you are the only one who treated him as a normal person and not some sort of freak

-Kisame will kiss you as his tears fall silently down his cheeks “Forgive me Y/N-Chan.. For not being able to protect you”

Itachi Uchiha

-He lost everything he ever loved except to his Beloved Brother who actually hated him

-Itachi Loves you unconditionally. You understood everything about him and never criticise him in any way

-He wants you to stay with him forever, to build a family together, to live a peaceful life that he's been longing for

-But it seems that his dreams scattered into pieces as he held your Lifeless into his arms. He lost you, his rock, his inspiration, and his heart.

-“Until we met Again My Love” before Leaving a final kiss to your forehead

Deidara

-No this can't be happening

-Deidara will no everything in his power to keep you alive but everything he does fails him to save you from dying

-he will refuse to believe that you're gone even the other members tells him to let it go

-“No! She's still right here un! Can't you see that?!”

Sasori

-He already lost his parents. He couldn't afford to lose you too

-Sasori will take your lifeless body into his room and turn your body into one of his puppet just to keep you with him

-“You can't leave me.. I still needed you”

-Even if his actions are against your will and full of selfishness he doesn't care as his only priority is to have you in his side forever

Kakuzu

-Kakuzu will try to keep everything together

-He will try to not acknowledge the pain he was feeling from losing you and occupied himself with works and mission just to help him forget everything

-He though that he can but he's wrong

-Kakuzu still finds himself grieving every single time as the image of your Radiant smile appears into his mind.

Hidan

-“Nah! You better open up your eyes b*tch!” tries to shake you up “Y/N! Come on! Open your eyes!” he screamed

-Hidan will try to beg you to open up your eyes. He will try everything and even tried to convert you into a janshinism just to keep you alive

-will held your lifeless body into his body tightly and cry his heart out not caring if the others sees him in this state

[indigosuvi]

PDA With The Akatsuki - Part 1

age in bio when interacting. minors do not interact.

Word Count: 299 / Read it on AO3 | Offline Version | Part 2

Featuring: Deidara, Hidan, Kakuzu, Kisame, Nagato (Pain)

Deidara

Hand holding, an arm around you, maybe a couple of kisses. It doesn't bother him, but he wouldn't be as extreme as Hidan.

Hidan

An arm around you, a hand up your shirt, a hand on your ass. Would honestly do you in front of everyone, if you let him. If they don't like it, they can leave.

Kakuzu

He's counting his money. Maybe hand holding, but you can wait until later for anything else.

Kisame

Would hold hands, kiss, anything that isn't too extreme and private. As long as you're okay with it.

Nagato (Pain)

An arm around you or hand holding, occasionally. He doesn't like displaying affection but also doesn't want you to think you don't like him.

© SUVIDRACHE — do not copy, translate, modify, or plagiarize my work. reblogs are appreciated!

Tag List: @eli-chris / Join My Tag List Here!

[that-weeb-in-ur-closet]

annie♡ i saw your requests are open👀 could you maybe write smth for pookie deidara? anything works really look how cute he is. i literally cannot express how much i love him

Eeeee, Anne !!! You don't know how excited that made me <3 (I love Deidara and js Naruto in general)

Genre: Fluff, Crack, NSFW at the end.

If you're new in the Akatsuki, he'd be extremely awkward. I think he'd be so bad at introducing himself before he reaches the, "Art is an explosion!!" bit.

If he doesn't scare you off from literally popping an explosive clay bird in your face, he'll immediately get obsessed with you. It's not very often people aren't annoyed by his cute outbursts of energy and just eccentric personality. (He was definitely a theater kid.)

— The second you say anything about his hair, he blushes. Like, hard. Even if it's just a simple "your hair looks nice !" or "can I do/play with your hair?"

He does let you do it without complaint, but he, again, is probably super awkward about it. He doesn't know if it'll be weird if he speaks or if he doesn't, so he immediately feels relief when you start the conversation. (Only to immediately get embarrassed again when you call him a pretty princess.)

— He *will* teach you how to make clay sculptures. That's the only thing he tries to be all demanding about, walks up to you after hyping himself up, walking with confidence, and it all fades when he looks at your eyes. "I– uh... Do you... No! You'll– I'm gonna teach you how to make clay sculptures!"

That and doing his hair are probably the most intimate things you can do. He goes behind you and grabs your hands to help you sculpt it, and oddly enough—he's extremely relaxed, not awkward at all. "Good job... Yeah, push down right there, that's it. It's looking really nice." (It's not dirty I swear.)

— He looks so pretty with his hair down. That's, that's the whole headcanon, sorry.

— When he gets the courage to ask you out, after two years, you've never seen him more out of it. He hadn't slept for two days straight, which, may or may not have helped how he asked?? He wasn't as nervous as he would be if he did sleep. You said yes, and he immediately fell asleep on your shoulder the second you did. (CUTE !!!!!!!!)

— He doesn't let go of you. He has to be holding you, hugging you, has his hand on you, (cough, cough). He just has to be near your presence because he just loves you too much. <3

— He gets SO FUCKING JEALOUS of the other members. He knows some of them are better looking, stronger, etc, and it makes him insecure. He won't admit it, but of course, you can tell. But he notices the way you *obnoxiously* say "BRO !!" and "DUDE !!" to all the other members, as well as keeping a good three feet away from them when you find out. He notices. And he's no longer jealous, and the insecurities were kissed away.

— Speaking of kisses... He wanted your first kiss to be romantic and sweet. (Spoilers, it wasn't.)

He was sitting with you under a cherry blossom tree, looking at the clouds as the stereotypical couple does, when he picked a little flower and put it behind your ear, causing you to look at him. His hand is still by your face when you turn, causing his palm to be on your mouth.

Yeah, you ended up kissing the hand on his mouth instead of the one on his face. (That's a story to tell your kids.)

— I headcanon that the Akatsuki has a whole ass "Paint your nails day !" together and paint each other's nails. But he won't let you do it with them, and you do it in the comfort of his bedroom. He's too possessive to let anybody else touch your pretty hands.

— Okay, random, but you are the couple that checks people out. YKWIM?? Like, a girl/guy will walk by with a nice ass, and you simultaneously turn to look at it. Don't be afraid to admit bitches be attractive sometimes.

— IDK if any of you have seen that thing where there's a door, person A is behind the door with their back against it, and the other person B is talking to someone at the door with their hand on person A's mouth, hiding person A from whoever is at the door? Idk it's hard to explain. Y'all have done that. Anyway.

— Let's talk about nicknames. He's so SAPPY with them. "Sugar," "Love," nah. "My work of art," "My radiant sunshine," "Divine," "My explosion," ("Girly pop"), you get it. (Now if we're talking bedroom names‐)

Short NSFW !! if you're uncomfortable with that, please ignore this part !! ♡ (fem reader)

— You already know. The hands. He's gonna eat you out with them. One hand on your pussy, the other on your nipple, while he kisses you.

— He loves holding your hands above your head with you lying on the bed while he pounds into you. That's not a headcanon he would do that.

— Pull his hair. Pull his fucking hair. Nothing else.

— He gets KINKY as FUCK. Wants you to wear makeup so he can see it all smudged and messed up, will tie you up to the bed, will make you watch as his hand sucks him off and leans down to whimper in your ear, will eat you out under the table with other members watching and ACT LIKE HE'S NOT, he bites and licks you. So much. Maybe a mommy kink if you squint, and loves it when you grind on his thigh.

— Speaking of thigh grinding. (Is this my own biggest kink? Yeah, it is, get over it.) Let's talk about it. He'll grab your hair with one hand and make you look at him while the other is on your hip, helping you grind against him. Dry hump his abs while he sleeps, and see how hard he fucks you when he wakes up. "Couldn't wait till I woke up? Hmm... My pretty little whore..."

— Cum eater. What do you think those mouths are for? Clay? No, eating you and all your liquids.

— Choking kink. I repeat, choking kink. Doesn't matter if you're choking him or vice versa. If he's doing it, hickeys, hickeys, hickeys, hickeys. So many.

ANYWAYYYYYY that's all the headcanons I have for you !!!! Thanks for requesting <3

[aprito]

happy early birthday to my brain twin and the sweetest sag i know @seoulfulnights!!

inspired by her f1 au <3

[moldy-flowers]

Everyone thinks the akatsuki is soo intimidating until you realize all of them have absolutely perfectly applied nail polish.

When team Taka joined they didn't have to paint their nails, in other words they all did this willingly. And nail polish doesn't last for that long without chipping. Meaning? They all did this together at least every 3 odd days.

I like to imagine they all got in a big circle and painted them together as a group every few days or so and gossiped.

Hidan: Did you all hear about Orochimaru?

Deidara: Oml what did that bitch do now.

Hidan: Na bro he fucking died.

Konan, helping Nagato apply his polish: Finally kicked the bucket then?

Hidan: I think this random guy called Sasuke got him or smth idk

Itachi: *Spits out drink*

[vulpisnocturna]

There was only one bed - Horny Akatsuki Edition

request by @takhidk 🤍

SOFT NSFW



Deidara:

-is completely speechless when he finds out there is only one bed at the inn during your mission together

-acts cocky though, telling you not to make a move on him

-he’s the first one to make a move, saying the bed is too small (he is literally 5’5” lmao) as he scoots closer to you

-you tease him about it and he tells you to shut up, his cheeks red

-he’s never had sex before but what he lacks in experience he makes up for with his enthusiasm

-you have to tell him that his hands are a gift, and how to use them, but he’s very happy to comply

-‘wouldn’t it be better to make the bed explode when I make you cum, hm?’ he asks, and you look at him, eyes wide

-‘no, Deidara. Unless you want this to never happen again’

-‘fine’

Obito:

-can’t believe himself. He hasn’t slept in the same bed with anyone ever

-decides to play dumb with his Tobi persona, hugging you like a pillow

-in reality, bro is dying to have you close to him

-after a while, though, he gets quite worked up, and decides he’ll have his fun with you. He can tell you want him by the way you casually move your ass against him, as if he couldn’t notice

-he blindfolds you and takes off his mask, starting to kiss your neck, letting his voice drop to his normal tone

-‘you know what happens to little things like you who poke the rattlesnake, right?’

Hidan:

-As soon as he sees there’s only one bed, he’s all for it

-‘I bet you asked for one bed, huh? Guess I’m just irresistible’ he grins cockily

-‘Yeah, right’ you say, rolling your eyes, though you have to admit he is hot.

-‘Let’s fuck’ he says, as forward as always. You stare at him, swallowing painfully

-When you hesitate, Hidan practically throws you on the bed, ripping the cloak off of you and licking your exposed chest

-‘Come on, sweetheart. Let’s have some fun, you and I’ he says, pulling your shirt up and starting to suck on your nipples, a bit too rough, but the pain soon mixes with the pleasure

Itachi:

-blinks and stands in the doorway, looking at the double bed. ‘There must have been a misunderstanding. I will solve it, don’t worry’ he says, disappearing towards the reception. You kind of hope they won’t have any other rooms, although the idea of sleeping with Itachi is both hot and terrifying

-when he comes back, he does not look too happy

-‘I am deeply sorry about this. They do not have any other rooms. I will sleep on the chair’ he says, removing his cloak as he goes in. You do the same, and you don’t fail to catch his eyes on you for a split second. As you get into bed, you stare at him, sucking in your lips

-‘Sleep on the bed, Itachi’ you say after a while. He looks at you, his throat bobbing before he slowly gets up and crawls under the blanket, staring at you. He wants to touch you, but it would be inappropriate. He can’t get himself to move. And yet, when you move closer to him and push your ass against him, he can’t contain himself and wraps a hand around your waist, pulling you closer

-‘Don’t think I don’t see what you’re doing. Let me indulge you, then’ he says, his hand slipping under your shorts as he starts to kiss your neck languidly

Pain:

-Is quite pissed off that he was not given two rooms, but when he looks at you, he can’t help but think this must have been fate

-and after all, he hasn’t had that chance in so long

-he saw the way you looked at him, with a blush on your cheeks and suggestive eyes

-‘lie down’ he says, tone authoritative, ‘and take off your clothes’

-you can’t believe your ears. Though when Pain gives you a meaningful look, you quickly do as he says, though you’re blushing and trembling with anticipation

-‘let’s make the most of this unfortunate situation, shall we?’ he says, running his hands on your thighs, splaying them open for him and staring at you with those hypnotic eyes

Kakuzu:

-is fuming at first. No one can mock him like this

-after that, though, he’s quite pleased with himself

-‘Less money to pay like this. We will do this from now on’

-‘Uhm… Kakuzu? Where are you going to sleep?’

-‘On the bed. I am going to get my money’s worth, brat’ he says, removing his headband and mask. You look at him, suddenly hyperaware. He’s… good-looking. For a 90-year old guy, he’s handsome

-when you shift slightly to find a comfortable position on the mattress, black tendrils catch your wrists and you find yourself tied up

-‘You’re a handful. Do not move’ he says, hovering above you. You think he’s going to knock you out cold, but instead, he positions himself between your legs

-‘I don’t want to hear a sound. Or else’

Kisame:

-laughs it off when you’re embarrassed that there’s only one bed

-‘I suppose there’s nothing to be done. Might as well get comfortable’ he says, taking off his cloak and his shirt. You stare at him, your lips parting at the muscles on his body

-‘It’s not a shop window. You can look and touch, if you want’ he says with a sharp grin

-You blush, nevertheless getting closer to him, until your hand is resting on his chest

-His large hands easily lift you up from your waist as he holds you against him until you have to wrap your legs around his hips

-‘I didn’t even need the bed, but since we’re here…’ he says, lowering you on the mattress and grinning as he unfastens your cloak

Sasori:

-‘I don’t need to sleep anyway’ he says, sitting at the desk and turning the lamp on as he starts tinkering with one of his puppets

-You frown, lying down on the bed. The noise of screwdrivers and nails clattering on the desk is pissing you off, and you decide to see if he really is a puppet who doesn’t feel anything at all

-you move your hand between your legs, underneath your underwear

-‘what are you doing?’ he asks, voice smooth, but he doesn’t turn around

-‘nothing’ you say, smirking slightly and gasping softly as you start to touch yourself on the bed.

-‘rude’ he says, and when you try to move, your hands are frozen. When you look at him, there are chakra strings connecting his hands to yours

-‘I suppose I can play with you instead of my puppets tonight’

Konan:

-Blushes when she sees that there’s only one bed and asks you if you want her to look for a different inn

-you tentatively tell her it’s okay

-when you two get into bed, you keep glancing at each other, and you keep looking at that piercing underneath her lip, wondering what it would be like to kiss her and feel it against your lips

-when she moves, you’re frozen in place

-her lips are soft and you do feel the coldness of the metal on your bottom lip, but it’s quite a nice feeling

-Konan gets on top of you, continuing to make out with you, neither of you saying anything as you start to undress each other

-literally the most normal experience you’re gonna get in the Akatsuki, and she’s stunning too! Go you

Zetsu:

-watches you sleep like a creep

-sorry, I got nothing on this “guy”

[nardo-headcanons]

About Deidara

i am back again with some shower thoughts about Deidara, once again, 90% headcanon and very rambly

Deidara is, in my opinion, one of the most misunderstood characters of the Akatsuki. Many paint him as an explosive (pun not intended) idiot who simps for the Uchiha. But I don't think it's so simple.

We all know Deidara heils from Iwagakure, the hidden stone village. Considering his closeness to Oonoki, Kurotsuchi and Kitsuchi, I like to think he is a direct descendant of Oonoki and related to Kitsuchi in some kind of way. Maybe a son? A nephew?

LET ME EXPLAIN:

Thank you so much to the OP who initially pointed this out, unfortunately I couldn't find their post even after 2 hours of scrolling.

Naruto, as can be seen, has full monolid eyes, making him not European looking, contrary to what many people, including myself, thought. Sasuke, on the contrary, has double eyelids, a trait seen as very desirable in Japan and other East Asian countries. Sakura has a mixture of both, a double eyelid but with visible epicanthal fold. These details all stay consistent through the manga. BACK TO DEIDARA

Living with the Tsuchikage has its perks, including wealth and leisure time. Since in Iwagakure, the Tsuchikage heil from one family and one family only, I think that from his birth, Deidara had been shaped and molded into the perfect next leader. He was given anything he desired for, he could have anything that he wanted. He was never allowed to be the kid Deidara, the one making mistakes and living in the moment, no, he had to pave the road for his future.

It was shown that Deidara does know how to make his explosions colorful, and that is mostly done by mixing the explosive substance with alkaline earth metals. Doing that requires knowledge of advanced chemistry since you need to know the ratios and mix-ins. If we take into account Onoki's Kekkei Touta, particle release, we can assume that Deidara has been tought in the natural sciences, up to the atomic level. (this is so cool in itself, he could probably explain orbital theory and quantum mechanics to you)

Deidara was 9 years old when he became a rogue ninja, having joined the Iwa explosion force at a young age and became one of its most talented members. It's making me believe he must have been a literal super genius if he managed to go that far as an elementary school kid. The name "Deidara" might be a pen name he chose for himself as an artist, and Onoki, Kurotsuchi and Kitsuchi call him that out of respect - just like Deidara always uses respectful honorifics for his higher-ups. He was raised that way.

He was used to people reacting to him with awe, whether that be the Iwa citizens treating him as royalty, or the people looking at his bombs moments before they go off. It's all he has known. So, when emotionally constipated Uchiha men come along, who don't give him the reaction he believes he is entitled to, he explodes. Literally and figuratively.

In a way, Deidara is, like so many others in the shinobi world, a child forced to grow up way too quickly, never being allowed to live in the moment, always having to think of the future. Maybe his time in the Akatsuki was the most freeing he has ever had.

[canonsinthehead]

love ur random village headcanons!! what do you think is the beauty standard in the villages? for girls & boys

GALAXY BRAIN HAS ENTERED THE CHAT! YOU ARE ONTO SOMETHING...

It's a subject that has been on the back of my mind for a while so imma try to make sense of the few full paper notes I have... --------------------------------------------------//////////////------------------

Naruto Headcanons - Beauty Standards in Different Villages.

BEFORE WE START, i wanna remind the fact that not fitting these description doesnt make you ugly. It is what is considered ideal based on the village's cultural norms, history, social norms and etc.

KONOHA:

Because of the founders Hashimara & Madara's traits, like blonde hair or other flashy colors (except red) are perceived as uncommon/strange.

Over time, the standard switched from Hashirama features to Madara's.

Ironically, Konoha pumps out the most plastic surgeons than any surgeons than any other nations. Most of them operate outside the Country of Fire.

STANDARD FOR KONOHA MEN:

In the past, long hair in men was admired and desired as it signified you live long enough for them to grow. Wow! you made it this long, you must be strong but this ideal is lost as the preference shifted towards shorter haircuts.

Long slim face

High nose bridge and long nose

SOMEONE FITTING THE MALE BEAUTY STANDARD:

(obviously, Sasuke Uchiha & Minato Namikaze)

OTHER CHARACTERS FITTING THE MALE BEAUTY STANDARD:

Yuji Itadori (Jujutsu Kaisen) & Kang Dahyeok (Killer Crush)

STANDARD FOR KONOHA WOMEN:

Same here, Having long hair has always been perceived as the pinnacle of female beauty. those who cut their hair short or never grow their strands past shoulder-length often get bullied.

Delicate Hands

Round Eyes

Oval Face Shape

PALE SKIN (applies to everybody), as crazy as it sounds, Konoha & Kiri are nations where social status bumps up your attractiveness but let's be real for a minute. The Hyuugas & Uchihas are upheld to such a high pedestal for their social status AND adherence to the beauty standard (pale + oval face + slim long nose)

Also if you have something with your eyes (whatever it is), it's perceived as a positive since special ocular appearances is associated with great physical stregnth.

Along with all the features previously mentioned, if you have a (face + spirit) that shines like the sun or burns like an unstoppable fire, it is considered very attractive on both genders.

SOMEONE FITTING THE FEMALE BEAUTY STANDARD:

Ino Yamanaka & Mito Uzumaki

OTHER CHARACTERS FITTING THE FEMALE STANDARD:

Tohru Honda (Fruits Basket) & Shirley Fenette (Code Geass)

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IWA:

STANDARD FOR IWA MEN:

Being larger is seen as a positive. it is believed that a thicker male body proves it is wealthy and well-fed. On the other side of this, skinny shaming among men is crazyyyyyyy (they don't want to leave Deidara alone). Not all men are bigger or thicker but there's high chances you'll get look down upon for being "too skinny".

if you look like you can't carry a bag of rocks, you don't fit the standard. there's a saying mentioning the need to be "build like a rock" and how its a measure of men's value based on appearance

Larger nose are liked on men, in other nanations (excluding Kumo) would cut you off the beauty strandard by this feature alone

"You need to eat more." "You look like a twig"

facial hair

SOMEONE FITTING THE MALE BEAUTY STANDARD:

Monga

OTHER CHARACTERS FITTING THE MALE STANDARD:

Dalton (One Piece) & Genjirou Tanigaki (Golden Kamuy)

STANDARD FOR IWA WOMEN:

The athletic slim built has always been the standard along with being tall since the average female height is the highest in the world

the perfect combo is perceived to be slim built + long legs.

due to the influence of the massive adult/corn industry, large breasts became valued in women and made their way to the beauty standard.

breast augmentation surgery is a huge and profitable industry but most of the surgeons performing it come from the counrty of fire.

going with the element associated with each village (in this case stone), earth tones colors are seen as more attractive.

SOMEONE FITTING THE FEMALE BEAUTY STANDARD:

Iwa Kunoichi

OTHER CHARACTERS FITTING THE FEMALE STANDARD:

Nico Robin (One Piece) & Makoto Kino/Sailor Jupiter (Sailor Moon)

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KUMO:

Clear and bright skin, no matter the skin tone.

Yes, Darker skin tones are heavely celebrated are seen as a sign of health and vigority. It is the only nation to consider this feature in its beauty standards modeled after the bloodline of the Raikage. It lead to the prevelence of tanning salons all over the country

in case you don't have it, it's still fine since Kumo is very considered of its diversity. But if you dont, please have clear skin since acne and pimples is frown upon on both genders especially among adults

Kumo has something for pale hair, the hair dye industry is huge over there.

STANDARD FOR KUMO MEN:

it may sound weird but a neat hairline. Also if you start balding, you might as well shave your whole head before being sent to bullying jail.

Strong legs are seen as the peak of mobility and aesthetic for men.

slightly longer faces

SOMEONE FITTING THE MALE BEAUTY STANDARD:

Karai, C & Raikage (for his immaculate physique and the standard for older men)

OTHER CHARACTERS FITTING THE MALE STANDARD:

Kento Nanami (Jujutsu Kaisen) & Aomine Daiki (Kuroko no Basket)

STANDARD FOR KUMO WOMEN

Curvier bodies (Coke bottle body shape) are upheld as the peak of the female beauty standard. hence why Karui was mocked for being slim and small chested. for this very reason, Kumo is the Lipposuction captial of the world.

plump/bigger lips

Winged Doe eyes

SOMEONE FITTING THE FEMALE BEAUTY STANDARD:

Karui & Mabui.

OTHER CHARACTERS FITTING THE FEMALE STANDARD:

Alex Benedetto (GANGSTA), Yoruichi Shihouin (Bleach) & Balalaika (Black Lagoon)

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KIRI

for centuries, just being of a higher caster could carry you to higher levels of physical attractiveness

STANDARD FOR KIRI MEN:

Shark teeth are a sign of great beauty in men for various ethnicites trough out the country of Water. It signifies resistance and tenacity as many past regimes attemped to supress/breed out this physical trait. Some men shave their own teeth to achieve this look.

Small firece eyes

Short Dark hair

A large and muscular back

Being Tall, by average male residents are the tallest in the world but the out of reach ideal sits around 190-195 cm. Men this height were prime picks for millitary and guerillas trough out Kiri's history, now most of them this height are affiliated with criminal behaviour but aknowdledge for the physical strenght a body this big can offer.

(NSFW) A large schlong. it is a feature more present among the lower caste demography and has been demonized by Yagura's regime as a mean to dehumanize this male population. Ironically, according to many traditions it is perceive as a sign of fretility and often goes hand-in-hand with the height.

it is only recently that "softer" features made their way into the male beauty standard

SOMEONE FITTING THE MALE BEAUTY STANDARD:

Kimimaro & Zabuza Momochi

OTHER CHARACTERS FITTING THE MALE STANDARD:

Kuroko Tetsuya & Kagami Taiga (Kuroko no Basket), both fit the Kiri modern beauty standard (if you ignore Kuroko's height)

According to the most popularized/old school/traditional beauty standard than it would be: Guts (Berserk) & Gyomei Himejima (Demon Slayer)

STANDARD FOR KIRI WOMEN:

Feline/Siren like eyes

Brown or Black Hair

For the longest, curvier bodies were associated with prostitutes belonging to gang or the mobster's female counterpart. The standard have always been average built for women. It goes along why many found Sera very vulgar when she started her carrer. They associated her appearance with women of lower caste.

SOMEONE FITTING THE FEMALE BEAUTY STANDARD:

Suiren

OTHER CHARACTERS FITTING THE FEMALE BEAUTY STANDARD:

Yomi Isayama (Ga-Rei Zero)

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SUNA:

While facial markings/paintings are related to your family/clan/lineage, they are perceived as a great sign of beauty in men and women

head coverings are used for all types of reasons but are well regarded for both genders since it represent the ultimate form of modesty

Unfortunately, Suna has to be the most fatphobic nation out there as bigger people seen as unfit for (basic) survival in a desertic country

STANDARD FOR SUNA MEN:

Since Gaara became Kazekage, Red Hair became a sign of beauty and success regardless of being a rare trait in the Country of Wind. It is ironic since it has been a feature many people have gotten severely bullied for in the past (Gaara was when he was a child).

Slight Tan/Olive Skin

SOMEONE FITTING THE MALE BEAUTY STANDARD:

Gaara/Sasori & Shira

OTHER CHARACTERS FITTING THE MALE STANDARD:

Shanks (One Piece)

STANDARD FOR SUNA WOMEN:

Thick Eyebrows

you can see some of the most dramatic make ups in Suna (the golden highlights+ full eyeshadow+ contour). it goes the opposite way of other nations since the clothes designs are more simplistic and stays away from anthing considered too flashy. So makeup operates as a for of self-expression without standing out too much.

small chest

brown hair

SOMEONE FITTING THE FEMALE BEAUTY STANDARD:

Maki

OTHER CHARACTERS FITTING THE FEMALE STANDARD:

Cana (Fairy Tail) & San (Princess Mononoke)