#kinda. don’t read too much into that tag
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echo-starflower · 5 months ago
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I FINISHED THE GUY!!!!!!
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(Pattern by @ghost-cinnamon)
He’s perfect and I love him
But Echo! some of you might ask, isn’t the body supposed to be red like his bones? To that I say! 1: I’m impressed you saw it under the layers of clothes! /silly and 2!
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BAH BAM
Embroidery!!!!! (I’m so proud of this hehe it turned out way better than I expected. Also faceless doll jumpscare>:3)
And of course, credit must be given to my amazing little sibling whose immediate reaction to seeing my doll was “ooo he’s spooky! He needs a top hat!!!!”
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(She proceeded to make not one but two top hats hehe)
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myriam-draws · 1 year ago
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some starfires i’ve drawn a bit over time i miss her (i refuse to read titans 2023)
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clonedchaos · 3 months ago
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My Chaos Theory Season 2 Nonsensical Rambles! 🦖🦕
Okay, okay. This season was sooo good y’all! For those of you that have watched the season all the way through already, feel free to read. They’re just my comments, notes, and theories that I wrote down after watching each episode. It’s a whole lot of nonsense, really. THIS INCLUDES SPOILERS SO DO NOT READ BELOW THE CUT IF YOU DON’T WANT TO SEE ANY!!!
Happy JWCT Season 2 release day, too! 🎉 Happy Viewing! And thank you so much to our wonderful writers, animators, voice actors, and everyone in between who came together to make this absolutely phenomenal series come to life! I appreciate you all so very much for all your dedication towards a project that means the absolute world to me! ❤️💐 This season really tugged at the heart strings, and even got some tears out of me at the end. I want everyone to watch this beloved series spoiler free, so last warning— HEAVY SPOILERS AHEAD! I hope you all enjoy it just as much as me.
And again, thank you so so so much to the people who brought this amazing series to fruition. I’ve been struggling a lot lately, and this show— and its franchise— has really made the hard days in my life more bearable to overcome. It has helped me in many ways, and I just wanted you to know how much its meant to me (if they somehow see this). So… Thank you. 💐🌸🌺
🦕🦖 Camp Fam For Life! 🦖🦕
Episode 1:
KENJI WHAT THE HECK?! Why are you being so self sacrificing?! (I know why, but still) Painful to watch. The little spark of Yaz’s and Kenji’s old friendship is so cute, and I really hope she can help him work through this trauma more.
Okay, the beginning with Sammy and Yaz was so simple yet adorable. And the way Yaz wraps her arms around Sammy and pulls her close— STOP MY HEART! 😭🩷💜
Majungasaurus’s are cannibals in this franchise? I need to brush up on research for their species, but I’m just used to having a lot of them in one enclosure when playing Jurassic World Evolution. I’m glad they’re finally getting some spotlight, I’ve always had a soft spot for them. (Okay, I have a soft spot for every carnivore in this entire franchise but you know what I mean).
The lightning and animation was absolutely incredible, especially in the storm sequences. They did great at making the atmosphere fill you with a sense of dread as the characters were getting stalked at every turn. That one frame of Darius hiding behind a crate and holding up his phone towards the Majunga is a personal favorite of mine.
The fluffy moment of Darius, Ben, and Sammy trying to be the first to match a roar with its proper dinosaur was soooo cute. My favorite parts of this series have always been times when they can just relax and have fun— I’m a fluff enjoyer, what can I say? One thing this show really excels at is fostering a lovely friendship between the campers. Their interactions are always lovely.
Darius being the first one to reach out to Kenji and haul him from the boat… I’m glad they’re slowly reconnecting again.
Okay, LETS TALK about the Ben noticing Brooklynn thing. I feel like the DLN fumbled the bag in terms of keeping her a secret. Like… why did they have her in the video? If they’re using her for their own gain like I’m assuming, why would you want to give anyone the inkling that she could be alive? I guess they just didn’t think no one would notice? I mean, she’s the only one not wearing the mask in the photo.
Not Kenji making jokes about his deceased father… It’s in character for him, yes. But still… as his friends said: “Too soon.”
Episode 2:
I read the title “Marooned 5” as “Maroon 5”…
Already I love the new character. It’s really cute how Zayna’s friendship with the Gallimimus sort of mirrors Darius and his ties towards the same species. The Stegos also looked like they were protecting her when they sensed danger.
Sammy being the mama bear of the group now is so 🥺🥺. She’s still the cheerful, positive gal she always was, but I love how she’s matured as she’s grown up.
Kenji trolling Darius got a laugh out of me. Brothers will be brothers.
Suchomimus appreciation! I absolutely adore its patterning, it reminds me a lot of the African savanna’s. It’s ironic, given that Sucho’s were first discovered in Africa. I wonder if that’s merely coincidence, or maybe, just maybe, they’re being transported to continents that they would have lived on millions of years ago? Could it be the DLN’s doing? Or am I just looking into it too much? (Future Me here: Yes, you are)
KENJI WHY DO YOU HAVE A DEATH WISH?!?!?! Bro literally squared up with a Suchomimus. Admire the bravery Kenj, but you’re making my anxiety worse, my guy. 😭😭
I really enjoyed the hints of cohabitation that was present in this episode. Humans gave the stegosaurus’s food, while the stegos offered them protection from predators. THIS is stuff I wanted to see in Jurassic World Dominion. I wanted to see HOW humans coexisted with these dinosaurs.
THE CONCEPT ART *chef’s kiss*
Episode 3:
Ah. We come to the episode a large part of the fandom has been waiting on… A Brooklynn backstory. Boy, was it a doozy. For starters, I didn’t know Brooklynn was a biker. Really hyping up that bad girl persona.
The campers keeping in touch on a zoom call makes this so much more upsetting. They still seemed very close up until Brooklynn died. Then, they just lost touch for a while.
I’ve started realizing I relate a lot to Brooklynn, especially in this episode. She’s overworked and “all over the place”. As someone who can sometimes put too much on her own shoulders, I 100% understand the level of stress she’s putting on herself. Not to mention she can be so caught up in one thing that she misses the actual moment in reality. It’s something I myself am working on; adhd doesn’t exactly help. But I definitely get where’s she’s coming from.
THE DARIUS CONFESSION STRESSED ME OUT HOLY CRAP— Like, the way Brooklynn inches away, Darius quickly tries to change the subject. Gods, it made me anxious just watching. I literally put my head in my hands and started mumbling to myself during the scene. (I’m slowly going insane 😭)
Seeing Brooklynn in pain and anguish once she realized how she lost her arm was heartbreaking. This was the time she needed her friends most. But for their safety in Brooklynn’s eyes, they couldn’t be there.
THE POOR COMPY WITH A CONE AROUND HIS NECK! 😭😭😭 No nibbling, he’s banished to cone jail!!!
So… the camp fam and Brooklynn’s dads came together for her funeral… I could have only imagined how rough that would’ve been. I’m honestly glad they didn’t show it, because I would’ve been balling uncontrollably for the next hour. And the fact that she was going to reveal her false death to her friends and family RIGHT before the DFW came in and screwed it up?!?! Ahhhh!!!!
THAT GUY?! WASN’T HE THE ONE WHO COULDN’T SHOOT A GUN IN SEASON 1?! AND SAMMY’S FARM WAS A SETUP, DID I HEAR THAT RIGHT?!?!?!?! (Someone please clarify, idk if he was talking about farms in general or if it meant Sammy, I forgot)
Episode 4:
Heck yeah! Malta! Crossing my fingers they show it in a later episode.
The small moment of Sammy watching Zayna and her mom… I NEED to know what went on between her and her parents.
Love the parallel between the opening of JW Dominion and Brooklynn’s escape at the farm. It’s a nice little throwback.
Dubai? Why Dubai? I absolutely love the mystery aspect, it’s like the more they reveal, the more questions are brought to the surface. The writers and everyone really went above and beyond this season.
Episode 5:
Sammy acting as the protective older sister of Zayna is so in character for her. “14 and 3/4. She’s still countin’ quarters, Kenj!”
Okay, I probably should’ve said this in an earlier episode, but Ronnie having the user Clever Girl just makes me so inexplicably happy.
SOYONA SANTOS?!?! AAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
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WE’VE WON GUYS, WE’VE WON!!!! GUYS IM LOSING MY MIND AS IM TYPING THIS!!! IVE ALWAYS WANTED HER TO HAVE A BIGGER PART TO PLAY AND HOLY MOLY SHE DOES! OF COURSE SHES THE BROKER! HOW DID I NOT SEE THIS?!?!?! AND IT’S HER ACTUAL ACTRESS VOICING HER TOO!!!
*ahem* Anyways… I’ll try and keep my cool.
Soyona is artsy? She’s very demure, very mindful. In all actuality, I’ve always been very interested by her character. She’s very poised an elegant, yet calm and calculating at the same time. Her and Brooklynn having a sort of “chess match of wits” which was very entertaining to watch.
Well, Camp Fam, looks like we know where Red has been all this time. I wonder if Red is Soyona’s favorite of the pack, much like Blue is to Owen.
Poor Yaz having to share a boat with Kenji and Ben while they’re arguing like an old married couple. She’s such a mood, no wonder I kin her.
Episode 6:
Poor Ben. Why is everyone having panic attacks? 😭😭😭
I think it’s interesting how Yaz, whom is the most introverted of the 6, ends up being the peacekeeper in this season. She knows when her friends are hiding something, and she’s going back and forth trying to help everyone out all at once. Her and Brooklynn are pretty similar in that regard, I’ve noticed.
Sammy’s a vegetarian? I guess it makes sense given her love of animals.
OKAY THE HIPPO VS SUCHO SCENE?!?!?! THEY LEFT YAZ?!?! Nononono I’m panicking!!! SAMMY’S FACE WHEN SHE REALIZED!!! I’m so worried, she definitely must’ve gotten a concussion from that hit.
I really wanna know if Red would have attacked Soyona during her deal with Brooklynn. Every cut in film is directed with a purpose. If they’re showing you something, it’s meant with intent. Maybe it’s a coincidence they kept cutting toward Red and having her in the limelight between them, but was the Raptor debating having Brooklynn in charge of her? Maybe Atrociraptors aren’t THAT smart, but I’m curious to know. After all, it’s implied Soyona raised them with a personal connection. If Red is similar to Blue, would she had done it had Brooklynn asked?
Episode 7:
Sammy’s 100% in distress mode. She doesn’t care if what she’s doing is level headed, she just wants to protect her girlfriend. And honestly… I could blame her. If I were in her position, I would’ve reacted the same.
I know I’m supposed to be scared of the Suchomimus and all that, but… it looked so adorable when it was curled up!!! Darn it, carnivores can be cute too!!!
I love how Darius tries his best to talk to Zayna… with Sammy sitting right behind them. Like Darius she’s hearing EVERY WORD you say my man 😭. And Zayna’s RESPONSE and EXPRESSION! “Sammy’s girlfriend is by herself surrounded by killer dinosaurs. Why would I take anything she says personally?” 😐 She is very mature for her age, honestly.
Flying Pterosaurs… ITS ALWAYS THE FLYING PTEROSAURS THAT RUIN EVERYTHING!!!
More animals coexisting was fun. Well, coexisting as in Sucho’s eat hippos for a late night snack and Lions eat Dimorphodons for dinner. I’m sure it’s not all sunshine and rainbows, of course, but I really like how this series is giving us more of dinosaurs living among other animals and humans. As stated earlier, it barely got touched on in Dominion. THIS is the type of content I’ve been waiting for!
NAH THAT SUCHO SWIMMING SCENE WAS CREEPY—-
I love how Kenji immediately embraces Yaz. She just wants to hug her girlfriend and Sammy’s standing there straight faced like “…” And Yaz saying “I really wanna hug my girl right now.” 😭😭😭😭😭 YASAMMY DESERVES THE WORLD!!!
Episode 8:
YAZ HUGGING KENJI IM ABOUT TO CRY SO MUCH Y’ALL!
Darn it, I was hoping for an Indoraptor hidden in the lab. 😞 Wouldn’t have made sense, but hey, worth a shot. But what DOES make sense is how there got to be so many dinosaurs roaming around the world once Dominion rolled around. Of course they would try and clone new ones to maximize profits. There was only so many that got released post Fallen Kingdom.
The blind Baryonyx… all I can think about is giving it a hug. Poor little one is stuck down there, more than likely because Santos figured she couldn’t sell it. I wanna adopt them. :(
NO IM NOT READY FOR THE ARGUMENT I DONT WANNA SEE IT!!!!!!
Episode 9:
Ironic how creation… kills the creator. It’s honestly sad how he manipulated the baryonyx’s genes to remove its eyesight entirely. It’s nice to see a use of echolocation, however. The movies never get it quite right imo or just don’t bring it up ever.
Okay, Soyona’s “Trust is hard to come by” line makes me think… what if The Handler could have stolen some of the raptors from her? Sure, she hired a hit out for the campers and more than likely enlisted the Handler’s help. However, both of them have a deep connection with the raptors. Maybe Red was the only one who stayed by Soyona’s side? It’s a great stretch, but it just got me thinking.
Brooklynn needs evidence to send Santos to jail, right? But… she’s out doing stuff in Dominion. So either someone bails her out of jail, OR, Brooklynn fails… which one is it?
Episode 10:
WE MADE IT! Did I spend roughly 5-6 hours binge watching this for the entire day? Maybe. Do I feel like garbage for not getting out of bed? Umm… Kinda. (I’ll try to exercise, I promise…)
I WAS SO SCARED KENJI WAS ABOUT TO PUNCH BEN! DUDE WHAT?!?!?!
I love how the villains in this franchise aren’t just treating their Dino’s like the Indominus and Indoraptor were treated. Both the scientist and Soyona ended up forming bonds with their animals. AND WHAT WAS THE THING WITH RED?! HELLO? SHE CAN LITERALLY MIMIC NOISES?!?! THIS WAS LITERALLY MY FACE DURING THAT PART NO JOKE:
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ITS SO CUTE BUT HORRIFYING?!?!?! ITS LITERALLY A PARALLEL OF THE INDOMINUS GETTING THE RAPTORS TO TURN AGAINST OWEN!!! RED IS BECOMING ONE OF MY FAVORITE DINOSAURS Y’ALL, I’M FREAKING OUT!!!!
I literally do not care how unbelievable of a scenario that would be. It was freaking cool!
That one frame of the Baryonyx in the dark hallway is so creepy… My sleep paralysis demon fr.
So… let’s talk about the end… Not only do I really really need a season 3, but I just… I don’t know… The moment Kenji grabbed Brooklynn’s hand before she headed into the jet is what prompted me to cry. Yes, I did cry, don’t judge me plz. 😭 “I’m not the Brooklynn you once knew”… NO! YOU ARE!!!! I was waiting, waiting for Brooklynn to ditch Soyona and embrace her friends, leaving the show off on a note where they have to stop her and Biosyn. But… Brooklynn left them. This entire season, I was waiting for them to be with one another again… All I can think about is- where do they go from here? Brooklynn has shown she’s willing to do whatever it takes to expose this mess, even if it meant abandoning her friends… So what’s going to happen when her friends follow her? How long can she keep this up?
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ohno-the-sun · 2 years ago
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Blah more back burner stuff cause I haven’t had time to draw this week
Had an idea for a Luca type au where like they are mermaids but can look human on land and blah blah blah
Self indulgence abound
Lol supposed to go along with these
Merm designs
Baby sun
the fic (don't read the tags if you don't want spoilers)
#sundrop#moondrop#mermaid au#also don’t mind the character in one of them#hiding the plot in the tags so no one reads it#met initially when they were younger#were good friends but one day sun got too dry and became human#moon freaked out and thought the human may be the cause#went to eclipse for advice and eclipse was all “oh ye it’s defo the human that caused this#also if u continue hanging out with them more bad stuff is gonna happen to u guys trust me#eclipse just has his own baggage regarding humans#but basically that scares moon so much he decides it would be better to no longer be friends with the human#makes a kinda stupid decision to wipe the#memories of both sun and the human#he was just a kid tho so ya gotta give him a break#now tho moon is super isolated and feels bad awww#he also figures out he also gained the ability to turn human as well#while having a crisis and not knowing what to do he runs into Monty#who is just a human in this universe#and like idk they actually get along really well and Monty is a good distraction for moon and also has a good straightforward mindset#all the while Monty doesn’t know that moon is not human#moon considers telling him but chickens out#eventually Monty has to move away due to his parents getting a new job#years later both the human they befriended and Monty return to the fishing town now adults#Bright now has a fear of the ocean due to the memory wipe and decided to move back by recommendation by their therapist#exposure therapy#Monty gets caught up in a group of people who want to kill the sea monsters that have been destroying fishing boats and eating people#bright notices new developments in the town like a hotel and oil rig. also the ocean seems a lot dirtier than it used to be…#anyway I’ve reached tag limit I’ll write the rest prob never but I’ll say later to try and motivate myself#Luca au
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konmics-n-stuff · 1 month ago
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I really resent the Young Justice tv show for … a lot of things. TBH.
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acourtofquestions · 3 months ago
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Chapter 89
I just finished Chapter 89
#I just finished Chapter 89… I don’t know what else to say… I have a lot to say… but… like… no. Just no.#Kingdom of Ash spoilers in tag and I guess kinda post but not really#90s only gonna hurt more with Abraxos & Narene & I hate reading reactions & Dorian’s not there & Manon my love like what do we do now what#first read#reading reacts#live updates#read with me#cry with me die with me idk cause why with me all I have now is bad rhymes cause my brain has been evaporated too (too soon?)#read along#Chapter 89#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah Jessica Maas why did you do this to me#I miss ACOTAR where no one dies#I mean it’s well written#and I’m fangirl heartbroken#but also real world crying#cathartic read world grief Maasverse moments and love and loving and hope and destruction and despair and fangirling and feels and agh#this better have a happy ending#I can’t keep calm but I guess I’ll read on#I don’t know the last time a book made me actually cry this much and broke my heart so deeply… I miss you already Asterin… Vesta… Sorrel… 13#stupid tag letter count cut off stopping me from listing them all but my loves … always … until the darkness claims us… and even then…#I am not okay#I am dead inside#I will never recover#KoA actually stands for Killed Off All of my soul that’s what the KOA part means#SARAH WHAT DID YOU DO#I wish I could hug fictional characters#haven’t finished the book yet just the chapter that finished me#once 13 always 13#I prefered live Fenrys since it ACTUALLY INVOLVED LIVING
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zouisalmightie · 12 days ago
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i feel like all i ever do is complain about my job like there are some parts i really love about teaching but then some days i want to run and nosedive out the window
#anyways i’m going to complain in the tags so it’s easy to ignore#like#ugh!!!!#my district does not mandate any special curriculum like as long as you’re teaching to the standards it’s fine#my school paid for a textbook that is bad. it’s been bad. I have been complaining about the textbook for 6 years now and no one listens cuz#they don’t care about history and also my admin don’t know how to teach so they think a book with scripted lines and imbedded tests are good#cuz they think it’s less work and it kinda is but the book is BAD not up to date doesn’t give nuance#there’s a chapter on how thanksgiving was a good day and it was how the pilgrims said thanks and has nothing about the murder or#brutalization of the indigenous people. there’s like a chapter on slavery that’s like ‘Africans came on boats to help work the fields 😁’#and so i follow the timeline of the textbook i take excerpts from it and then I supplement the rest make it into a power point#give the students think questions for each section it’s rigorous but not too hard cuz most of my kids are below 8th reading comprehension#levels and ny admin come in and and are like why aren’t you using the book I’ve told you why I don’t but here is what I’m doing#well the kids aren’t discussing. today isn’t a discussion day today is a lecture day wed is discussion day after I give the facts#well they need to discuss everyday. well they don’t cuz they can’t discuss what they haven’t read yet. if they don’t know about the war how#can they discuss the war? like it’s a multi step process#but they want today im not doing my job cuz im not doing it how they went to one seminar and that presenter said is a new way to tech#never mind I have students that come back to me from high school like wow I miss your class I learned so much etc etc#like my kids learn everyday. the work is engaging every single day#LEAVE ME ALONE AND LET ME TEACH!! ive been doing this for almost 10 years i fucking got this#raaaaaaahhhh aaaahhhh gaaaaah kill stab bite murder murder violence!!!
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always-a-slut-4-ghouls · 2 months ago
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I don’t get why people feel like the Duolingo owl is threatening, if I ever feel like he is I just get mad at him. I could fight an owl. I don’t know if I’d win, but I don’t think I’d lose (two things that can apparently coexist). I think I’d survive at least and that’s not really winning but also not losing.
You wanna be so threatening? Da bør du drepe meg!
#emma posts#I used google translate for help because they haven’t taught me the phrase ‘kill me’ yet#taught me the word for beer øle but not the more important words like ‘kill’#as far as I can tell everything else in that sentence checks out so I figured the translation was good enough#not sure if it’s in the right order or if you use better that way in Norwegian. but good enough for a tumblr flop post#Emma’s adventures in using Duolingo#I should honestly use that as a tag for it#I post enough venting about that app#until I find out if I’m dyslexic for sure and there’s a way to help that with other languages. I’m not going to pay for Babbel yet#Babbel has Icelandic lessons too I think and that is my final boss tbh#I’ve been going from easiest for English speakers to hardest as my plan#and it turns out that I forgot how much some of my issues affect learning new languages#last time I learned another language it was Spanish and I’m not fluent but I’ve had classes and been around it for so long#that i kinda forgot what it’s like to start from scratch#I didn’t start trying to learn Norwegian until I was 26#or was it my 27th birthday? I could check my streak#I was like ‘psh. it will be harder with my disabilities. but I should be able to read. my top priority with this language’#and then I realized I had been somehow adapting to the other two languages since childhood and forgot how much I had to work around#I mean. I knew I was worse at language arts in school than I was in literature and writing. but still#I also already knew I was worse at making new sentences in other languages than I was figuring out ones that someone else made#but I thought that was just because I hadn’t used Spanish much for several years now#every time I try to re-learn Spanish it just ends up with me being able to figure out what someone said to me but not how to answer#if i brushed up on it again i could probably have a conversation with someone who understood English but better spoke Spanish#someone with the same problem as me but reversed language wise#please don’t take this as me saying I could currently have an entire conversation with someone speaking Spanish#I’m better than someone who never learned it and didn’t encounter it’s use a lot. but I really don’t think I could have a real conversation#not at the moment at least#I have been meaning to brush up on Spanish again too. there are at least real classes in my area for it and not just an app#the last time there were Norwegian classes around here my dad was in college and old people still spoke it#no one around here speaks it anymore
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littlestsnicket · 26 days ago
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eeee!!
#mayo blogs#i only have 50 pages left of iwtv#but i really don’t like reading pdfs on my ipad so i think i will switch over to the book anyway#i want to post a like step by step tracing of armand’s motivation around the trial in the show#but it kind of seems like work so i may not#it would be more fun to express narratively in armand/santiago fic but that is going to take me such a long time to write#and also like armand being armand you can only articulate so much of his thought process from his own pov#idk we’ll see what i do#but armand is so… he wants to be seen as a master manipulator but he’s just a bunch of trauma responses trying to reverse engineer#his own motivation after the fact when he’s under any kind of pressure#i’m really intrigued by the idea that armand ends up in the position he does after the trial because santiago accuses him of conspiring#with lestat to save louis and like that’s not what happened#but armand had to know what lestat was doing and could have stopped him if he wanted to and didn’t#so it’s true enough that armand can’t defend himself against the accusation#was thinking about the clip we get of them rehearsing the play after the reveal#where lestat is being a brat and santiago is looking at armand like ‘do something’ and armand is like kinda shrugs ‘you own this mess’#i want to poke that dynamic with a stick#i just… the show goes out of it’s way to show armand actively avoiding lying and being really bad at it the times he does#he’s a master at manipulating narrative but flat out lying is barely in his skill set#and i want to interpret the show through that lense with bits and pieces of book canon stuck in only when appropriate and supporting that#(tag essay on my own post… guess i could have put that in te post body but it’s too late now)
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reporpoisedphantasies · 3 months ago
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#vent tag#alright I don’t know why I’m venting on main but if I keep screaming into the void I’ll only fuel my self destructiveness#this is kinda hard to read so uh warnings ahead#tw sh related#so um. I broke the promise I made to myself at 12#I cut all over my wrists. I’ve been cutting for years but told myself I’d never reach the wrists because that would’ve been my breaking poi#well.#I’ve reached it.#I’ve reached the breaking point#I keep pushing through doing everything that’s asked of me and not complaining z#with a smile. because better times are coming and I am the change I need#yadda yadda#try to stay positive because my life can be so great#but then I stay home.#with the source of all of my negativity.#and refuse to elaborate on it to my loved ones. because i already do it too much#and so many things happen to every single one of my friends all the time. so I have no right to talk#because it’s too much. and it only makes people feel all too bad for comfort#but I’m tired.#so much happens to me all the time too#even if it’s not as apparent as it can be#so I cut. and I keep stewing in my self hatred. and I keep shouldering what my parents tell me.#my father has been making it Very hard for me lately. he’s almost always the reason I cut these days#of course it’s not only him but that’s not the point#I keep hurting myself over and over because I can’t keep it together anymore#but I have to. my parents need me#my friends need me#I need myself to do the things I have to do#….friends now.#I have almost nobody.
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chibishortdeath · 9 months ago
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Hmmm I kinda want to make a side blog for RPG Maker game development related things to be able to talk to more experienced people in that community, but at the same time I both don’t really think I’d get much attention and don’t want to accidentally spoil my own game (^^ ; ).
I have a rough story, concept doodles, a tileset, some character sprites, an enemy that walks around but can’t initiate battle yet (if I even decide to have a battle system), a couple rooms with some events, and a functioning run button, but I’m still lost on how to do much else at the moment. Especially since this program has the ability for scripting, meaning I’ll probably have to learn and actually retain another coding language.
So, I’m not very far at all lol. Idk how well that’d go over on the established fandom website, but eh.
#text post#incoherent rambling#project update#game project#I’m still also debating whether or not I can actually even make a proper horror game too#It’s the rule of like just being a horror fan doesn’t make you good at horror being afraid of something does? ya know?#I am trying to go with things that scare me personally but it’s been difficult#either things aren’t concrete of concepts enough or are wayyyy too oddly specific to make anything about#which is quitter talk I know but how does one translate the childhood heebee jeebees of watching top ten gaming videos past bedtime 💀💀💀#or like the way too broad general fear of lack of control without making it too on the nose or too vague#truly a balancing act writing is#kinda ironically I am also a little bit less afraid of hospitals after having been to one for myself rather than family members#which makes things both more and less difficult???#on one hand I have better references for them now but on the other hand I’m desensitized to it 😔#I think I get used to things a little too easily for a lot of things to stay scary#the thing was a scary movie the first time I saw it and now it’s a comfort film#funger was a very scary game until I first died and reloaded a save with little consequence and now it’s just a spooky but fun rpg#but then at the same time thinking about a movie studio logo before a movie that scared me as a kid cause there was a monster in it#still gives weird left over shivers but actually seeing it doesn’t anymore for some reason#I feel like that’s how it’s worked with most things I’ve ever been afraid of in my life besides concepts like death control or idk drowning#ugh writing is HARD#but actually making a functional and fun to play game is harder oh my god do I not know how to make puzzles#I have made swivel chairs that can be knocked and walked over but that’s about it and idk what to do with that knowledge lmaooooo#and I don’t want the entire gameplay loop to be read text search room get key repeat cause that’s boring#I have also desperately tried making a stamina system but there’s not much help with that online especially not in the rpg maker forums#the no necroposting rule sucks all the threads for questions I have never get answered and never will cause no one is allowed to due to age#anyway idk what to tag this probably won’t get seen since it’s not my usual anyway but eh whatever I’ll think about this#hopefully I remember the passwords to two blogs 💀💀💀
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thetwilightroadtonightfall · 7 months ago
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0 days since bringing myself to tears writing something for Overmorrow
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catrastulip · 11 months ago
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Do you Goth style?
absolutely lol
although I switch between that and emo or even punk?
I’m just alternate idk
musically, I’m all of the above and more, but most recently, I’ve been heavy into emo and punky music
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theglitternet · 2 years ago
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PSA for young people who are beginning to care about social issues (and are getting most of their information online, which FYI I don’t recommend):
If anyone ever tells you you should be mad at a group of people or a certain behaviour and their reasoning for this anger is “they make people who ACTUALLY belong in this group look ridiculous” or “it makes a mockery of people who REALLY fit this label” or anything to that effect,
it’s a boogeymen argument and isn’t worth your time. Focus on social issues that actually matter and can make tangible change.
(Some examples: “baby talk’ vocal stims make real autistic look childish,’ ‘pan/omni/polysexuals make a mockery of bisexuality,’ ‘neopronouns make real nonbinary people look ridiculous’ are all examples I’ve really seen.)
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starsanddragonflies · 2 years ago
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WHAT
#I just FINISHED supernatural and have about FOURHUNDREDMILLION FEELINGS#WHAT#WHAT WAS THAT IM#I#WHAAT#I thought it ended at like 5 different points and cried SO MUCH????? I didn’t expect to still care so dang much but I guess they still#own a piece of me oh god#spn spoilers#from now maybe idk but I don’t want to spoil anyone and idk if anyone will read the tags but JUST IN CASE#‘Cas helped’ well see that means Cas is in heaven too and that makes this so much easier I was so scared#for a second I thought Dean is in heaven Cas is in the empty and Sam is on Earth but no#now they’re all in heaven and you betcha Cas is hanging out with Dean now aww now it is kinda cute#I got some spoilers (because ofc I did I went on tumblr again without finishing the show I was basically asking for it) but#all I knew going into s15 was ‘Destiel goes canon Cas goes to the empty and Dean dies’ so just thought naturally#that’s exactly how supernatural has always been but I also wasn’t sure if that actually would happen???#and I’ve seen that I love you news meme so gosh darn many times that I didn’t know what to expect but THAT WAS HEART WRENCHING#Finally someone told Dean what he deserves to hear but why not let him keep Cas ugh this is so sad#Feels a bit odd that Sam got a son and named him Dean though like that sounds like it would be more painful than anything but oh well#oh and Jack!! aww I’m so happy about him#I just hope they’re all happy in heaven and I wish I knew more about more characters but tbh#I just want to know that Cas is happy#I was so angry halfway through this episode thinking they murdered Dean and left SAM alive like what#Sam is left on Earth to do his thing and Dean just gets offed????? luckily it ended a lot better than that#my god I need to process this for a long time#oh and now I also want to rewatch the whole show but let’s be real it is 15 seasons I have NO time for that#Anyway I’ll go back to playing Zelda now#I have too many feelings about Spn#it’s time to have feelings about something else and though I have blocked zelda and totk EVERYWHERE to avoid spoilers I am so emotional#but I have lots of feelings about Zelda too oh my god how can I fit so many feelings at once I’m-#help I didn’t know there was a tag limit wth
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e77y · 6 months ago
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#hi#woke up in a weird bad mood and just kinda feeling hopeless about writing and creating in general#also about fandom stuff which is silly to worry about but idk. I just feel lonely here#which is my fault for not texting people lol. sorry ❤️ I have been Weird lately idk what it is#and I don’t interact with non-DnDads stuff on my fandom blog#mostly bc I am too nervous/emotionally lazy to deal with sifting through whole new communities#despite the opportunities to make friends in other fandoms I’m interested in….. hm#just not very online at all I guess#which is probably better for me LOL#being Too Online always gives me bad obsessions and vice versa and it’s kinda just. a cycle? so it’s good that I’m not in it rn#but also I feel a little sad whenever I see people on my dash sharing ideas with their friends and stuff#I’m not lonely in GENERAL bc I have my irls whom I love dearly ❤️❤️❤️#but I just wish I had more friends I could talk to about writing/fandom stuff I guess? idk I will probably delete these tags later#maybe I’ll feel more normal when I eat breakfast lol#ALSO I HAVE TO DRIVE MY FAMILY ON THE INTERSTATE TODAY. not happy about it 😭#<- I have never driven on the interstate before bc I avoid them at all costs#the ones in Florida are fucking SCARYYYY#okag that’s all#sorry for the ramble and hope uou all have a great day :3#also reading back this post is deeply embarrassing (like. how much I care is embarrassing lol) but also idgaf 🥲#I ❤️ embarrassing myself in a public forum
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