#kinda wanted to abandon my shop completely

[loyallieutenant]

Working on a chainsaw man cosplay… working towards updating my shop again…… I’m going to be okaaaayy 😭😭😭

[nicksolemnlyswears]

THE BEAR AND THE BEE HIVE

summary: in which carmy falls for the sweet café owner that supplies him with endless americanos

pairing: carmen berzatto x fem!reader

word count: 14.4k

warning: it's a little bit of a slow burn. sorry. i'm a sucker for it and i feel like carmy is a slow burn kinda guy. 18 +, cursing, smut, p in v, oral (m. receiving), fingering, they use protection guys! i deserve a pat in the back. nothing too wild. oh, and very brief mention of suicide.

a/n: i started writing this way back in october and then it was nearly done and i abandoned it. well i finally got around to completing it tonight!

this is my first time ever writing for carmy and i tried my best writing this. i love carmy and the show but i didn’t expect it to be hard to write him as a character. i wanted to get him right so i took my time with it and didn’t rush it. hopefully you guys like my carmy. enjoy!

i think i've had this stored in my drafts for like 4 months and it's time for me to set it free.

The cigarettes were not enough anymore. No matter how many smoke breaks Carmy took, he still felt the edge on his shoulders. A fear laced with anxiety that overtook him.

After deciding that blowing through yet another wall in his restaurant was the way to go, Carmy took a break. He needed it before he used the sledgehammer to destroy the restaurant in its entirety, along with his dream.

He remembers a coffee shop only a block away from The Bear and thinks he could use a coffee right about now. Maybe the mixture of caffeine and nicotine will be able to relax his shoulders, if only for an hour.

As soon as he opens the door, the smell of ground coffee beans greets him. He looks around, taking in the cozy ambiance the decorative wood brings to the place and the splashes of warm yellow that lighten it up.

Then he sees you, and his focus shifts entirely. His eyes only see you.

"Hi, welcome to Bee Hive!" You chirp with a small smile.

Carmy freezes, forgetting why he's there in the first place. He slowly steps up to the register, where you patiently wait for him. It's just after the lunch rush, so you're in no hurry.

He finds he's acting like a teenager who has just seen a pretty girl. Only he's not a teenager, and you're more than a pretty girl.

"What can I get for you today?" You ask, not noticing the effect you've had on him. You take a sharpie out of your yellow apron, preparing to scribble down his order in a cup.

Carmy has perfected the empty on the outside but screaming on the inside face. Strangers don't tend to know he's almost always losing his shit.

"I-I don't…sorry," Carmy looks at you briefly before diverting his eyes. He apologizes in a flurry, looking for an excuse for his weird behavior, "Uh, it's my first time here. What do you recommend?"

"It's not a problem," you say softly as if to calm him, "I'm a simple girl. I love the latte, but if you're looking for something stronger, the americano is one of the favorites."

Carmy nods as you ramble about the drinks, where the coffee beans come from, and the different notes of each blend. He hangs onto every word that slips from your lips. The static in his brain clearing up for the first time in hours.

It ends too soon as you realize you're talking too much and probably overwhelmed him. You sheepishly smile at him and trail off, but he continues to stare, waiting for you to continue.

"I'll take the Americano," Carmy nods, giving you a tight-lipped smile. Although he had been hanging to every one of your words, he was too focused on the shape of your lips and the sweet tone of your voice.

"Good choice," you nod, grabbing a cup from the tray beside you, "What's your name?"

Carmy looks up, slightly alarmed, as if you've asked for his social security number. "What?" He thinks you'll be forward and ask for his number next, seemingly forgetting how coffee orders work.

"Your name? For the order?" You explain, trying to ease his worries. He's odd, but in an endearing way. You believe this is his first time here because you're confident you would've remembered him.

"Fuck, right, yeah," he nervously says, pinching the bridge of his nose, "My name's Carmen."

"Your Americano will be right out, Carmen," you tell him, capping your sharpie back up.

Carmy quickly pays and stands to the side to wait for his order. He forces himself to not look at you or in your direction as you take other customers' orders. He just knows he's made a fool of himself already. Not that it matters. Why would it matter? He's there for the coffee. Nothing else, no one else.

As he walks out of Bee Hive, he sips his coffee. His shoulders instantly drop, and his fear-induced anxiety starts to dissipate for the moment. He's unsure if the effect is because of the caffeine or the thoughts of your pretty smile.

Visiting your coffee shop becomes routine for Carmy. Whenever things at The Bear become crazy -or he starts to lose his fuckin' mind- he makes his way to Bee Hive with a cigarette hanging from his lips.

For twenty minutes, he's free of Richie's constant hounding, Sugar's struggles with the permits and scheduling, and Sydney's disappointment because the menu is still extremely underway.

Each time he's stopped by, you've been there to greet him, and each time, you've left a little heart by Carmen's name, which makes his heart race in a peculiar way. His hands would touch his chest to check if it was heartburn, but it didn't feel like that. It's not anxiety either cause he knows pretty well how that feels.

All he knows is he hasn't done anything to deserve such a gesture. He's convinced himself you draw little hearts for everyone because he's not special.

One Thursday afternoon, Carmy realizes he doesn't know your name. He looks for a name tag, but you're not wearing one on your yellow apron. He should know your name if you insist on making small talk despite his short answers.

He can't help it. He gets too in his head to answer like a normal person, so his answers come out choppy and dry.

"Alright, Carmen, your order will be right out," you say, handing his cup to one of the baristas. You always hold out and ask him what he wants to order. He has the right to change his mind anytime, but for now, he's stuck with the americano, which he drowns in sugar.

As curiosity eats at him, he gathers the courage to ask. "Thanks. Hey, uh, I've-I’ve never gotten your name…” Carmy says, cursing at himself for not formulating the question correctly. His hand comes up to grip his hair instinctually.

Your smile widens when he asks your name. The silly crush you've developed for your customer fluttering to life. It's just a crush over a stranger, nothing to write home about.

You tell him your name but follow it with "-call me Honey. Everyone knows me by that name. I'm sure if you ask my friends about me with my real name, you'll throw them for a loop."

You're rambling, hoping he doesn't think calling you by your nickname is weird. Then again, how can he judge when he has a sister people call 'Sugar' and he and his siblings also don the nickname 'Bear.'

"Honey." Carmy repeats your nickname, smiling as he finds it fitting. "In that case, call me Carmy."

"Nice to properly meet you, Carmy," you say, grinning.

Like all the days before, Carmy steps aside and waits for his coffee. He doesn't let himself continue the conversation or ask more about you even if it’s everything he wants to do.

It's rare for Carmy to be in a good mood, and whenever it happens, it doesn't tend to last. His goal of opening a restaurant in 12 weeks makes it impossible for him to relax and enjoy the ride. To prolong this unusual feeling, Carmy stops by Bee Hive on his way to The Bear.

"Have you made your boss angry, Honey?" He asks as he pulls out his wallet to pay. He ordered the americano as he always does.

"No…why do you ask?" You ask, tilting your head in confusion.

"Uh, 'cause you-you're always here. Do you not take days off? Not that I'm complaining. I-I like seeing you here." Carmy's words get quieter as he speaks, red creeping up his neck. So much for trying to make a joke.

You look around the room and tell him, "Imma let you in on a little secret."

Carmy follows your hand, waving him to get closer. The smell of cigarettes invades your senses as you get close to him. You'd never admit that the mix of his cigarettes and your coffee is addicting. As both lean over the counter, you whisper, "I'm the boss. I can't run away even if I wanted to."

"You own the coffee shop," Carmy pans in shock.

Carmy is more than surprised at your words. Especially now that he knows how expensive it is to open a business. You can't be a day over 25 and own a successful coffee place. There is hope, after all.

"I do," you nod, standing straight once more.

A couple of years ago, you had inherited a hefty amount of money from an estranged aunt. Fresh out of college and with no real plan, you thought it would be a good moment to follow your dream and open the cozy café.

"How do you do it?" Carmy asks, amazed at the girl smiling at him. "I don't know if you know, but, um, I-I'm opening the restaurant around the block. Used to be The Beef?" He finishes grimly as he points to his side of the block.

"Oh, yeah. The guys who worked there helped me move some equipment when I first opened two years ago," you reveal, "Tell you what, whenever you have a break, come around. I'll give you a free americano and tell you all about it. Neighbor to neighbor."

Stuffing his hands in his pockets, Carmy agrees. "I'll take you up on that."

Weeks go by, and Carmy seemingly forgets about Bee Hive and your pending conversation. You try not to overthink about his absence or how you might've scared him away. He's probably just busy remodeling his restaurant. You know better than anyone how much time that takes.

Still, his presence has become part of your routine, and you can't help but look at the door each time the bell rings. You expect to see him walking up to the counter, the remnants of cigarette smoke coming out his nose as he breathes.

You're pretty close to your assumption because Carmy has been dealing with the fire suppression test. They didn't fail the test once but twice, and if they didn't pass it on the third try, their plan to open the restaurant in 12 weeks goes out the window. Fak has tried everything, and nothing works.

He'd sent Richie once on a coffee run, but the fuckin' idiot went to the nearest Starbucks. Carmy had been looking forward to tasting your coffee and seeing his name in the cup with the little heart because he's 100% sure he's the only Carmen you know. It's not a common name in these parts of town.

One very early morning, he's walking to work, and as he passes Bee Hive, he sees you inside, wiping tables down before you open at 6:30.

Impulsively, he knocks on the glass, not giving himself the time to overthink things. You turn to look at the window and see him standing outside, his hands stuffed in the pockets of his familiar plaid jacket to protect himself from the chilly March air.

"Hey stranger," you greet him, opening the door and inviting him in.

"Hi," he breathes out, staring at you, "you're here early," he tries to casually mention.

You roll your eyes dramatically and say, "It's a downside of the job. Did you know people want coffee at the crack of dawn?"

You try acting as nonchalant as possible. It's not like you missed seeing one of your favorite customers, his beautiful blue eyes, or the way he rocks a simple white t-shirt.

"I had no idea," Carmy smiles, bringing his tattooed hand up to his lips, "I, uh, usually drink mine at night." That much is true. On those sleepless nights when insomnia takes over him, the best remedy is coffee.

"Would you make an exception and join me for a morning coffee at the crack ass of dawn?" Anxiously, you play with the rings on your fingers. It feels like you're asking the guy on a date when it's just a friendly coffee.

"As long as you have some business advice to spare?" Carmy responds shakily. He briefly looks down the street to glimpse at his restaurant. It's too early for anyone to be there yet.

"Deal."

Throwing the towel over your shoulder, you make your way behind the counter. Carmy attempts to make small talk with you as you prepare both drinks.

This is the first time he's watching you in action since you tend to stick to the cash register when he's around. It's not a coincidence. After the first time he came to Bee Hive, you wanted to see more of him, so you stationed yourself at the register where you'd be sure to see him, and he'd see you.

"Here you go." You place his coffee mug on the table along with yours before disappearing momentarily and returning with an orange soufflé coffee cake. You're pulling all the stops for Carmy to leave a good impression.

Carmy thanks you and sips his coffee, "Wow, this is fire!" He expected to taste an americano, but what you prepared was entirely different. He can make out hints of hazelnut and caramel in the coffee.

"Thanks. I took the liberty of changing your order. You can always come back to the americano, though…" you shrug shyly, looking at him over the rim of your mug.

"I-I appreciate it. Thanks." Carmy throws you a nervous grin. He gestures with his tattooed hand to dig into the cake you brought out. He shouldn't be the only one eating.

You and Carmy share the cake as you talk about yourselves and the crazy businesses you own. Somehow, talking to you comes easy to him. He's still nervous and scared to fuck things up, but the warm coffee and your even warmer smile ease him into it.

"How do you do it? This place is always packed, and you seem like you run a tight ship," Carmy wonders, playing with the fork. The cake is long gone, although the notes of orange remain on his tongue. Would you taste the same?

"It wasn't without mistakes. I had to learn a lot from my fuck ups and listen to my team because although I'm the owner, they are the ones doing most of the work. Whenever there's a flaw, they are the first to know," you speak softly, afraid of ruining the calm ambiance you've set up, twirling the small amount of coffee left in your mug.

It's your favorite part of morning coffee. When you have just the smallest bit of coffee left, and you know you'll never drink it because it's cold, but it gives you an excuse to remain where you are.

"So, all I gotta do is listen?" It's funny you say that because Carmy listens, but his friend's voices get muddled somewhere along the way. As much as he tries to focus on them, they merge together and form a cacophony in his head.

"A lot of listening and a lot of experimentation. I've been open for two years, and it's only been in the last six months that I can confidently tell you we found our groove," you admit with a grimace.

Bee Hive is your baby, but bringing it to life was everything but easy. You messed up so many times, costing you so much money. You didn't know shit about owning a business or building one from the ground up. Doing research and putting your pride aside to ask for help got you through it.

"I've only been doing this for, like, less than a fuckin' year, and I already want to pull my hair out," Carmy admits with a pitiful laugh.

"I'm sorry I can't tell you it gets better soon," you say apologetically, reaching for his hand that rests on the table.

Carmy freezes, glancing at your hand on top of his. He hasn't got a clue what to fucking do with the display of affection. Was it a display of affection? He doesn't fucking know. "It's, uh, it's, uh, it's alright. As-as long as you give me coffee, I think I can make it through," Carmen furrows his eyebrows as he stutters through the sentence.

"I can't wait to see what the award-winning chef does," you say, bringing your hand back to your lap, none the wiser to Carmy's internal struggle.

He should've done something to keep your hand on his. Place his other hand on yours or fucking turn his hand around to grasp it. He liked feeling your warm skin on his. It hasn't been a minute since you pulled away, and he's craving it already. It's ridiculous. Is he really that touch-starved that he's seeking affection from a near stranger?

He coughs and darts his eyes between the wooden table top and you, "Fuck. You-you know about that?"

"I might've done some research after finding out you're opening the restaurant. I got curious. I'm sorry." Apologizing is your default thing to do. Messing things up is your area of expertise. You really didn't think he'd mind you mentioning it.

"No, no, no, uh, you don't have to apologize. You just caught me off guard," Carmy shakes his head, reassuring both of you.

"Okay, good," you lightly smile at him, averting your eyes when your gazes meet.

If there's a time for you to make a move, it's now. Taking a shaky breath, you speak up, "I was wondering if you'd ever like to-."

A loud knock on the glass door interrupts you. You and Carmy jump and look towards the source of the noise. It's one of your regular clients, waving at you to open up. Looking at your watch, you see it's 6:30 already.

"Shit. I'm-I'm sorry I took so much of your time," Carmy apologizes, picking up his mug and the plate to put away.

You grab his wrist to make him stop in his tracks, "Relax. I enjoyed talking to you. Maybe we can do it again soon?"

Carmy nods wide-eyed. He likes the idea just as much as you do. You take away the mug and plate with a soft 'okay.' He then follows you to the door as you unlock it and turn the sign to 'open.'

"I, um, gotta go work on the menu. I'll probably be back later for another coffee?" Carmen asks you as if he's asking for permission, which you find adorable.

"I'll be behind the register," you say, watching him walk away. He turns his head back for a moment, and you catch the smile gracing his lips as yours turns to mimic him.

"Oh, he's cute," your customer, an older lady, says, watching him go along with you. "It's about time you got a boyfriend."

"Mrs. O'Hara, here for your tea?" You ask her, ignoring the comment about your love life. That woman will set you up with anyone. She does love her tea, though, and expects you to provide it on time.

It's slow, but Carmen warms up to you. Instead of grabbing his coffee to go, he now drinks it at the café, coincidentally around the same time you take your break.

He's been hesitantly opening up. It's not like he's telling you about how fucked up his family is or how his brother committed suicide. More often, it's about the restaurant and his work as a chef, the struggles of getting every permit they need on a tight schedule since they are supposed to open in about four weeks now, or the occasional childhood memory. It's everything you need to know at this stage.

You love listening to Carmy talk, even if you have to coax it out of him sometimes. He's passionate about the restaurant despite all the stress that comes from it, and he adores the people he works with. He's shy but not in a dorky way because he's actually fascinating. Before meeting him, you never knew that collecting denim was a thing.

The smell of cigarettes that clings to him is also tightly laced with his character. When you step outside to get some sun and the scent of someone smoking hits you, your heart instantly speeds up, hoping it's him coming for his daily americano, or to come swoop you away into a sunset.

"-I fell on my ass in the middle of the street. I was freaking out, thinking I was gonna get run over by a car," you exclaim as you tell Carmy about the crazy Christmas you spent in New York last year.

"It's New York. You probably would have been run over," Carmy chuckles along with you. "There was this one time I was running late and-" His phone vibrating interrupts him.

"Sorry, it's just the fridge guy," he tells you with a furrow of his eyebrows. You notice he does that a lot when he's thinking deeply. Carmy silences it and looks back over to you.

"You should pick that up. A busted fridge is the last thing you need. Trust me. Been there, done that." You encourage him to take the call. The restaurant is more important than your story about how you bruised your coccyx in New York.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, Carm! Call him back before you forget," you insist, grabbing his empty cup to trash it. You don't give him any other option, leaving him there to help your employees with a faulty machine.

He watches you closely, closer than ever before. He allows himself to watch how you frown at the machine and how your ringed fingers fumble with the knobs. His eyes keep trailing down involuntarily, and they take in how nicely your jeans hug your ass.

He goes into a spiral into these old pair of Levi jeans popular in the 90s and how they would fit nicely with the shape of your hips and legs. Carmy continues on the tangent, imagining himself peeling them off your body.

The phone vibrating in his hand snaps him out of it. Clearing his throat, he picks up the phone and walks outside. He waves at you through the window as he makes his way back to The Bear. Your frustration at the machine vanishes momentarily as you wave back, except the machine splatters, forcing you to redirect your attention. When you look outside again, he's gone.

Stakes are high at The Bear. There's less than four weeks until Friends and Family, and there is much to do. Marcus has returned from Copenhagen and is working on the desserts. Tina is doing her job as the new sous chef. Fak and Sweeps are helping out wherever they can. And Richie is being Richie, trying to be open but resisting change.

"I need coffee or a pop. Anything with caffeine," Sydney says, throwing her head back. She and Carmen have been working on the chaos menu for hours, and she keeps messing up. Carmy insists that it's okay that they'll adjust and get it right soon, but she's beginning to lose hope.

"Me too. I'd kill for an espresso," Natalie agrees, softly rubbing her hand over her growing bump.

"I thought you couldn't have caffeine cause of the baby," Richie mentions, remembering Tiff's time while pregnant.

"I don't need you to fuckin' tell me what I can or can't eat, Richie," Natalie yells, glaring at him. Although he's right, the doctor told her to limit her caffeine intake. Hard to do when she's up all night thinking about everything she needs to do for The Bear.

"Shit. I'm sorry for fucking caring," Richie screams back, lifting his hands up in defense.

"I can go to the coffee place down the block. Get everyone something," Carmy pipes up, looking forward to seeing you today.

Natalie is quick to shoot that idea down, "You can't. The fridge guy is coming in 20 minutes."

"Fuck, that's right," Carmy groans, digging his head in his hands. His fingers rake through his hair, messing up his curls. He wanted to see you and talk to you, even if it was for five short minutes.

"I'll go," Sydney sighs. She needs to leave the kitchen for more than five minutes, or she'll go crazy, "Just tell me what you guys want to order."

Natalie grumbles about getting decaf, Richie orders a plain black coffee, and Carmy asks for his americano. As Sydney leaves to ask Marcus, Carmy yells after her, "Please, go to Bee Hive. If you get Starbucks, I'm gonna fucking lose it."

Richie and Natalie exchange a look. Richie because he's confused, and Natalie because she knows something is happening with Carmy. He's never been picky over coffee. In fact, they have an old coffee machine in the office that now goes unused because he's always at that coffee shop.

"Sorry, I didn't get the fuckin' memo. Since when is Starbucks bad?" Richie frowns, looking to get a rise out of Carmy.

"I don't think it's about the coffee, cousin," Natalie responds, directing her gaze towards her brother, who is hunched over the counters, chopping vegetables.

"If it's not about the coffee, what is it about?" Richie questions, crossing his arms.

"Shut the fuck up, Sugar," Carmy grumbles, looking at his sister with a glare. He already knows where she's going. She tried to bring it up a couple of days ago after she walked by the coffee shop and saw him being friendly with you.

Natalie smiles and responds, "Carmy has a crush on the barista."

"That's ridiculous. I don't have a crush on her." Carmy shakes his head, avoiding Richie and Natalie's eyes on him. They always do this. They gang up on him if he shows even the slightest interest in a girl. They think they can help, but all they do is embarrass him.

"Come on, Bear. Why else would you go almost every day to get coffee?" Natalie asks, giving him a look.

"Because it's good fuckin' coffee. Jesus, it's not that deep." Carmy grabs the veggies he chopped and drops them into a container to use later.

"It's okay to admit you like a pretty girl, cousin! I'm excited for you! Makes you human and not a lonely hermit," Richie jokes, pushing on Carmy's buttons. "When was the last time you got laid?"

"I swear to God, Richie. Shut the fuck up," Carmy points at him angrily.

"No, I should go with Sydney and see who this girl is!" Richie says, walking out of the half-built kitchen.

Carmy follows him instantly, "You're not going fuckin' anywhere, fuckin' jagoff." He's turning red from anger, seeing Richie with his mocking smile. Natalie follows behind them, amused at the situation. It reminds her of the banters they used to get in with Mickey.

"Admit that you like her," Richie shrugs, giving him a choice.

"No, I won't," Carmy refuses. "You always do this shit."

"Then, I'm going," Richie nods, stepping towards the door.

"Fuck! Shit, alright. I like her, okay? Don't fucking go anywhere," Carmy yells, rubbing a hand on his face out of frustration. It's like he's not allowed to keep anything good to himself.

"Was that so hard?" Richie grins, clapping a hand on Carmy's shoulder.

"Don't fuckin' touch me," Carmy grumbles, walking back to the kitchen. Natalie follows him with a smile, shaking her head at Richie.

Carmy sighs and squeezes his eyes shut. He has yet to admit that he likes you more than he should. He's been avoiding it, afraid of what it might lead to, or rather, what it might not.

He couldn't let Richie go see you. He has a big fuckin' mouth and will tell you Carmy has a crush on you whether it's true or not. Just like that, he feels the sour taste in his mouth, his heartburn making an appearance. Carmy should go look for his pepto before it gets worse.

Unaware of the argument back at The Bear, Sydney walks to Bee Hive. She's walked past many times but has yet to have the time to stop and try it out.

As she waits in line, she reads over the drinks menu. It's clear that it's been carefully curated. Starbucks has nothing on this menu. She can see why Carmy would prefer to come here instead.

When it's her turn to order, Sydney takes out her phone to recite everyone's drink order. She also points to a few pastries, thinking Marcus would like to try some of them and get inspiration. That and she knows Natalie will enjoy them as well.

You're sitting at a table close to the pickup counter. You often find yourself all over the store, ensuring everything goes smoothly. Sometimes, you stop to talk to your regulars and see how they're doing.

You notice Sydney struggling with all the cups she has to carry. It's proving difficult despite the to-go trays your barista put them in. Deciding to approach her, you ask, "Do you need help?"

"Oh, no. I'm fine, thanks," Sydney responds with a nervous smile. She's trying hard to grab everything, including the box with the pastries.

You continue watching her struggle because you know she needs help. You let her try and figure it out for one more minute before stepping in again when she almost drops two of the drinks, "Need some help now?"

"Yeah," Sydney sighs, "I guess I can leave one of the trays here, go to the restaurant, and come back for the rest," she speaks mostly to herself.

"Are you going far?"

"No, just the restaurant down the block," Sydney responds with a sigh, scratching her eyebrow as she tries to figure out the logistics of carrying the drinks. She could get a box to put everything in.

You perk up at her response. The only restaurant down the block is Carmen's. Could she work there? "Carmy's restaurant?"

"You know Carmy?" Sydney asks, tilting her head. Maybe Nat was right. Carmy spends his time here because of the woman in front of her.

"He comes here often. Anyway, I can go with you to help you out. It's not far, and I'd feel bad if your drinks got cold." You offer to help her out because you're a nice person. Not because you want a chance to see the curly-haired man you are developing feelings for.

"You really don't have to…"

"It's really not a problem," you press, grabbing one of the to-go trays and motioning for her to lead the way.

Sydney sighs in defeat and nods, "Thanks. I'm Sydney, by the way."

"I'm Honey," you smile, following her outside.

You chat all the way to the restaurant with Sydney. She reminds you of Carmy in some ways, so you can see why they are friends. Before arriving at the restaurant, Sydney apologizes in advance for any sort of mess there might be, including yelling.

As you near the building under renovation, your palms start to sweat. Maybe you shouldn't have come. You're showing up unannounced, and he's probably too busy to talk to you anyway. You can slip in and out without him noticing. That's the goal now.

You open the door for Sydney, letting her go through first, and quietly follow her into the restaurant. There's no time to escape, as all eyes are instantly on you.

Richie is arguing with Fak when he sees you walk in. He narrows his eyes as Carmy looks in your direction from the kitchen. With just one glance to Carmy's face, he knows who you're supposed to be.

"Guess I didn't have to go anywhere. She came to me," Richie whispers, rushing out the door.

"Shut the fuck up. Where are you going? Don't embarrass me!" Carmy whispers out to Richie unsuccessfully.

"Oh, you'll do that all by yourself," Richie throws over his shoulder.

"Honey, hey, what-what're you doing here?" Carmy speaks, not giving Richie a chance to open his big mouth. He stands between you and Richie, blocking him for the time being.

"Sydney needed help with the drinks," you answer nervously, averting your eyes.

"Oh, thanks for that. You didn't have to," Carmy approaches you and takes the drinks from your hands. His fingers brush with yours momentarily, causing you both to blush.

"I did, or else you probably wouldn't have anything to drink," you whisper to him.

Sydney, Fak, and Richie all watch the interaction amusedly. Richie has a big teasing grin on his face as he makes a plan in his head.

"Hi, I'm Richie! Carmy's cousin," he introduces himself, shoving Carmy to the side and shaking your hand enthusiastically. "I gotta say Carmen right here is obsessed with your coffee. He's banned us from getting Starbucks."

Carmy curses under his breath as Richie does precisely what he tells him not to. He has the urge to throw the coffee at him and run away.

"Is that right?" You ask, amused, looking over at Carmy with a raised eyebrow.

"Oh yeah," Richie answers for him as Carmy tries to find the right words to say. "Cousin, why don't you give the nice lady a tour of the place?"

"It's not done yet. Could be dangerous," Carmy hopelessly says with a gulp.

"Nonsense! You'll take care of her!" Richie insists. He takes the coffee from Carmy's hands and pushes him in your direction. "Go give her a tour."

Richie, Sydney, and Fak all disappear to the office to stay out of the way and try to snoop simultaneously. Fak sends Carmy a not-so-discreet thumbs-up that makes you giggle.

He's internally screaming at his so-called friends but is glad to see you. It was all he wanted before Sydney left to get their drinks. It's strange having you here at The Bear, though. He's so used to seeing you in your own space back at Bee Hive.

Trying to make things better, you say, "Sorry you've been roped into this. You probably have better things to do. I can go-"

Carmy doesn't let you finish. "No, stay. I want to show you around."

"Let's see what you got then, Berzatto," you grin, following him to the kitchen.

Carmy takes his time showing you The Bear. He wants you to stay. He wants to spend time with you but doesn't really know how to say it. So he takes it slow, answers your questions about the restaurant, shows you the front and how everything will be laid out, and introduces you to the ones around, including the fridge guy working on the handle.

Sadly, you get a call from Bee Hive asking you to come back. Carmy walks you outside, dreading having to say goodbye.

"I'm really excited for The Bear to open. You have a great place and team," you tell Carmy.

"I really got lucky with them, huh?" He asks, playing with a dish towel.

"I gotta go. I'll see you later, Berzatto." You don't know where you got the guts to lean towards him and kiss his cheek.

Carmy stays still as his face heats up. You start walking away and throw him a smile over your shoulder. When you're a distance away, he touches the cheek you kissed. Back inside, Richie runs over to Sugar to tell her what he just witnessed.

It's late when Carmy leaves The Bear. As he walks to the train station, he has his hands stuffed in his jacket pocket. On his way, he sees a lone light turned on in your café. Crossing the street to check it out, he sees you're still there with glasses perched on your nose in front of the computer.

He tries the door, and to his luck, it's open. You look in his direction, startled, but relax once you see it's him.

"Nice glasses," Carmy teases, pulling out a chair to sit.

"Are you making fun of me?" You purse your lips, propping your chin on your palm.

"No, I…I think you look cute with them," Carmy admits. After a stern talk from Sugar and Richie, he's realized he should probably make a proper move on you because if what they say is true, you also have a crush on him.

"Thanks," you blush, the light from your screen making it obvious to Carmy, who can't stop the corners of his lips from turning up into a smile.

"Late night?"

"One of my baristas is moving out of state. I have to find someone new, preferably who has experience," you say with a sigh. Glancing at him, you add, "Are you perhaps interested in the position?"

"Poaching me from my own restaurant, nice. I'll let you know I'm an excellent worker," Carmy jokes, tapping his fingers on the table.

There's no doubt in your mind he's an excellent worker. He has to be if he's considered one of the best up-and-coming chefs. Or to work in one of the best restaurants in the world with three Michelin stars.

"I don't know. I'll need references," you speak as if not believing him.

Carmy smiles and softly chuckles, "Fair enough."

There's a moment of silence between the two of you that Carmy is quick to fill, "So, uh, have you had dinner yet by chance?" This is it.

You shake your head no and look at him with hopeful eyes.

"Wanna go grab pizza? I know a place," he asks, finding your gaze on him.

"Say no more," you say, closing your laptop and taking off your glasses. "I'm starving."

Carmy waits for you to lock Bee Hive and grab your things. Then, you both walk to the pizza place. To pass the time, you and Carmy talk about your days and anything that comes to mind. Nothing serious as you get to know each other.

Waiting in line to order the pizza, you tell him all about your nickname and how you were donned 'Honey' to everyone who knows you. In return, he tells you about his nickname 'Bear' and why his restaurant is named as such. For the first time, he dares mention Mickey.

"Best pizza in Chicago," Carmy says, taking a slice of the pie and placing it on your plate.

"I'll see about that," you murmur. You wait until he has a slice of his own and dig in simultaneously.

"It's good, but this is not the best pizza place in Chicago," you say after chewing the first bite, "I'm gonna get your chef license revoked."

"Are you? With what proof? Have you tried all the pizza places to know?"

"I don't have to because I've tried the best," you hum, taking another bite. The cheese stretches as you pull it away.

"Oh yeah? Which one?" Carmy questions you, taking a drink of his beer.

"Mine. The pizza I make is the best," you shrug modestly.

"Wait. You cook?" Carmy asks, giving you a look of surprise.

Cooking is a universal thing. Most people know how to cook up to a degree, yet only some are as confident in their skills as you are. You know you're definitely not up to Carmy's level, but if there is something you know how to do properly, it's pizza.

"Yeah! You're not the only good cook here, Berzatto," you sass back at him, dipping the pizza crust in the marinara sauce.

"Sorry for assuming," he raises his palms.

"You're forgiven," you chirp.

"When will I try this famous pizza of yours then?" Carmy wonders. An attempt to see if you'd like to see more of him.

"I promise I'll make it for you once you open The Bear. You're too stressed to fully enjoy it now," you respond. You were reaching out. Throwing hints that you want this to continue in the foreseeable future.

The conversation continues to flow with an empty pizza box in front of you. Customers come and go until it's only the two of you and a drunk customer picking up his pizza.

"Tell me about your tattoos. Were they an act of rebellion or something else?"

It's an excuse to touch his hands. You reach for them, turning them to see the black ink on his hands and fingers. You gently trace over them with the pads of your fingers. Over the hand that's stabbed, the letters S.O.U. on his knuckles and the forget-me-nots. The one you're dying to touch, though, is the one on his bicep; you'd give anything to feel the hard muscle underneath the rolled-up sleeves of his white t-shirt.

"Uh, my first tattoo is the 773. Got it when I left Chicago for the first time. After that, I sort of became addicted to them. I found they helped my anxiety when it was becoming too much. The pain distracted me and made me feel stronger than I actually was," he says, letting you touch him. He finds that he likes it. Your touch is soft and warm. Comforting.

"So what you're trying to say is you're a masochist," you say, bouncing your eyebrows at him. Your touch goes further up his arm to turn it and look at the fish tattoo on his forearm.

"I guess so," Carmy responds with a breathy laugh, "Do you have any tattoos?"

"Maybe…" You shrug as the pads of your fingers trail back down to his palm until you pull them back towards you. Carmy instantly misses the feeling, opting to cross his arms to retain the warmth you left behind.

"It's bad, isn't it?" He says knowingly. Your reaction told him everything he needed to know.

"The worst," you grimace, shaking your head at the memory of you getting it.

"So, rebellion or something else?"

"Rebellion. For all the wrong reasons," you groan, burying your face in your hands, "Growing up, everyone saw me as a good girl because that's what I was. Breaking the rules terrified me. So, as a teenager, I didn't want to be seen as a goody two shoes, so the summer before I went to college, I decided that getting a tattoo would make me a badass."

"Did it work?"

"God, no. I only got the outline done 'cause it hurt like a bitch. Then I went crying to my parents, fully having a meltdown, apologizing for disappointing them," You scrunch your nose as you say the following words, "They laughed in my face, called me a wimp, and told me to suck it up."

Carmy fully laughs at your story. Head thrown back, eyes closing, "What did you get?"

"That's a secret, Berzatto," you purse your lips, avoiding responding. You just know he'll make fun of you for it.

Everyone who has seen your tattoo has made fun of you for it, yourself included. It's so silly and not badass. Carmy will have to wait to see your tattoo, and you hope this continues so he can see it up close.

"Really? That bad?" Carmy stares wide-eyed.

"It's terrible," you nod, leaning on the table. "We should probably get going before the waitress throws a fit."

Carmy looks over his shoulder to see the waitress glaring at them. It's five minutes till close, and they've made no move to go. He turns back to you and nods towards the door. Carmy helps you with your jacket and leaves a tip on the jar for the waitress. At that, she happily calls after them with a 'Good night!'

"Do you live far?" Carmy asks, seeing how dark it is now that most places have closed. There are too many lamp posts that aren't working. He'd feel better if he could walk you home or you called an Uber. Preferably the former.

"Only a couple of blocks away. Why?"

"It's late. Let me walk you home," Carmy says decidedly, not giving you much of a choice.

"Thanks," you respond with a small smile.

The pace you set is slow. You don't want your time with Carmy to end just yet. He's such an interesting and sweet guy. He's a little awkward, but it adds to his charm, and you can see he's trying.

Somewhere along the way, his hand brushes against yours briefly. Then, it happens again, and you decide to bite the bullet. You grasp his hand in yours.

"Is this okay?" You ask when he falls silent.

Carmy doesn't have a lot of experience with girls. He can't even remember the last time he held a girl's hand. All he knows is he doesn't remember ever feeling this good. "Yes, uh, this is okay."

Carmy walks you up to your front door when you reach your house. You unlock the door but stay outside face-to-face with Carmy.

"Thanks for the pizza," you say, fiddling with your fingers. You were about to make one more move for the night. Because as long as Carmy allows you, you'll keep pushing for more.

"Sorry, it wasn't the best," he retorts, rubbing his jaw with his hand. You notice he does that a lot when nervous.

"Your company made up for it," you reassure him, "g'night Carmy." You kiss his cheek goodbye, watching as his cheeks blush.

"Night," he whispers.

As you turn to leave, Carmy stops you by grabbing your wrist, "Wait-uh, can I? Uh-shit. Fuck it." For a second, Carmy shuts out the excessive thoughts in his head and does what he's been dying to do for weeks.

Carmy cups your jaw and kisses you. It's soft and slow. He gives you enough leeway to pull away if it's something you don't want, but you reciprocate eagerly. You've been waiting for this all night.

As confidence surges through his body, Carmy throws an arm around your waist, pulling you closer. You wrap your arms around him, one of your hands resting on his neck, tangling on his curls. The tug of your fingers feels like heaven.

The kiss turns needy and desperate, your lips moving perfectly in sync. His tongue brushes over your lip; Carmy has been dying to test a theory. Are you as sweet as your name?

He's rewarded by a little noise in the back of your throat as he slips his tongue into your mouth. It's endearing, and he finds a way to make you do it again. With heads tilting to deepen the kiss, he concludes he was right. You're pure honey. Sweet and addicting.

When Carmy returns to his apartment, he gets the urge to create, to cook. He wants to bring your taste to life with his cooking. Something with honey.

"I was wondering if you'd want to come to the restaurant for Family and Friends."

You and Carmy are in your little office at Bee Hive. He stands between your legs as you sit on the desk. His lips are slightly red and swollen, and the hair at the nape of his neck is messier than usual.

"Hm, I could be persuaded," you pretend to think as you play with the golden chain around his neck, pulling him towards you.

"Yeah?" Carmy laughs, leaning to brush his lips against yours. When he feels you nod, he closes the small gap between the two of you.

His hands hold your hips, pulling you impossibly closer. He tastes like coffee, which is to be expected from the discarded cup beside you. It's funny how your relationship, if it could be called that, has moved all around Bee Hive from the register to the front and now to your office.

You're at a weird spot where you're not exactly friends because friends don't kiss, but you're not a couple either. It's a situationship for sure. You're content with what you have now, although you'd also love it if Carmy were to ask you to be more. You pin it on him being shy. He'll get around to it.

"What do you say?" Carmy questions as he kisses a trail from your cheek to your jaw.

"Consider me in," you giggle when he kisses a tickly spot.

Carmy brushes a strand of hair out of your face, remaining close to you. This is what he needs. After months of stress and anxiety of having to deal with The Beef, now The Bear, he needed you and your calming presence. Someone removed from the chaos, a safe haven.

He's quiet as his thoughts consume him, and you take the intimate position to fix his gold chain. Turning it so the clasp faces the back instead of the front. "I'm excited, Carmy," you say with a smile, brushing his cheek with your thumb.

"You can bring someone with you," Carmy offers nervously because he realizes he probably won't have the time to spend much time with you. "I-I don't think I'll be around much. I'm sorry. I'd understand if that makes you change your mind," Carmy drops his head as he braces himself for disappointment.

As the weeks pass, you learn more about Carmy and his insecurities. It doesn't deter you from wanting to be with him. Everyone has their issues. "Berzatto, stop. Look at me," you softly divert his attention, "I'd love to go and support you even if it's from the sidelines."

"You sure?" He asks once more.

If reassurance is what he needs, that's what you'll give. "Don't worry about me. This is your moment, Carmy. Enjoy it. I'll be around afterward."

"Thank you for understanding," Carmy responds, stealing one more kiss from you.

When he returns to The Bear, he helps Sydney prep the dishes they finally chose to serve. He notes how everything is laid out and anything they should fix before opening.

Richie struts into the kitchen with a suit on. Apparently, it's his thing now. Carmy figures staging at Chef Terry's restaurant had a good impact on him. All Carmy wanted was to show Richie he had what it takes. That he's not a fuck up.

"Glad to see things are going well with Honey," Richie thunders.

"What are you talking about?" Carmy says in a rush as he plates the lamb expertly.

"That thing on your neck," Richie says, motioning to his own neck. He has a smug look on his face.

"I don't have time for this, cousin," Carmy grumbles, wiping the plate where the sauce might've splattered.

Groaning, Richie grabs one of the new pans and holds it in front of Carmy. "I don't see anything," he frowns, looking at Richie for an explanation.

"Right here," Richie points towards the edge of his t-shirt around his neck.

Carmy pulls it back and finally spots what Richie has been referring to. There is a fading purple bruise on his skin, a hickey. You must've done it when he was back in your office. He'd been too busy touching you to notice.

Sydney, silently watching, pipes up, "No wonder he hasn't been as on edge lately." Carmy shoots her a glare, which causes her to shrug and laugh with a, "What? It's true."

"Ay, yo, Sugar, get in here!" Richie yells down the hall to the office.

"What is it?" Natalie barges in, afraid something went to shit.

Carmy ignores Richie as he babbles to Natalie what he found. His face is red, though, as Sydney nudges his side.

"That's enough about me. We have shit to do," Carmy shouts in his chef's voice.

Everyone in the kitchen, including Richie and Natalie, repeats, "Yes, chef!"

Walking out of the kitchen Richie, 'whispers' to Natalie, "I've always wondered if he likes to be called chef in bed."

"Fuck off, Richie," Natalie glares, but then it falls, and it's replaced with a teasing grin, "He definitely does."

"I heard that! Don't you two have better things to do?" Carmy screams at them.

"Yes, chef!"

Carmy keeps hearing Cicero's 'Uh-oh' throughout the whole day. He understands Cicero, he really does, but to call you a distraction?

His work with The Bear is only starting. They managed to make it to Friends and Family. Now, they have to keep up their best work to fill up the restaurant daily and have a waiting list. His work is far from done. He should listen to Cicero.

Cicero said it with the best of intentions. He doesn't want the Berzatto siblings to fail. He wants to believe they'll succeed and, most importantly, get him his money.

If there is something Cicero has learned throughout the years, it is that girls are distractions. They mean well, but oftentimes, they keep your eyes off the ball. Especially when it's a new relationship like Carmy's. Ultimately, it's up to Carmy to decide what he wants to do. Cicero has played his part by giving him his advice.

One last delivery is made to the restaurant an hour before opening. Richie is the one to receive it and place it in front of Carmy. "She's a keeper, Cousin," he says with a pointed look and a nod. He also wants the best for Carmy, and yet it doesn't align with Cicero.

You knew Carmy would be too stressed and all over the place to eat or drink, so you sent everyone at The Bear a drink and a pastry. One of the cups has Carmen's name with a little heart and 'good luck' written on it.

"Yeah, she is," Carmy sighs, turning the cup in his hands to look at the message. His thumb brushes over your handwriting longingly. Is listening to Cicero the wise thing to do? He's one of the most successful men he knows in his family.

When it's 10 minutes till open, Carmy changes into his uniform and looks in the mirror. His heart is racing, begging for Friends and Family not to be a complete failure. Walking out of the bathroom, Carmy is a man on a mission.

It starts relatively well, but like everything in Carmy's life, the kitchen starts welcoming in the chaos.

They are too slow getting the orders out, which causes Sydney to start doubting herself and asking Carmy to step in. He reassures her she's doing good. They just have to keep up the pace.

Then, one of the new chefs disappears mid-rush. Forcing Tina to work two stations and Marcus to step out of his to help Sydney. Carmy ignores some weird tension between them as he works on ensuring the dishes are good to go.

Next thing he knows, Sugar is rushing into the kitchen, yelling at him about forks. It's wasted time, as he can't do anything about it. A shrill reverberates inside his head as he looks at the ticking clock. It's enough to give him a headache.

With no one to take a dish to its table, Carmy takes it upon himself to do it. There's no time to re-fire or wait for someone. He places it on their table and pours the tea into their cups before retreating with an 'enjoy.'

He looks at his restaurant, and suddenly, the ringing in his head gets louder. Sitting in a booth is his old boss, staring back at him like he did back in New York. Like he was waiting for Carmy to fail.

His voice echoes in Carmy's head. Why are you so fuckin' slow. Hurry up. Go faster motherfucker. Talentless piece of shit.

Right before Carmy spirals, it all goes away. His focus shifts entirely as he sees you taking your seat for the night. The one he chose because he'd be able to see you from the kitchen. You have successfully blocked the mirage he'd conjured up.

You're there with your brother as Richie talks you up, thanking you for coming. As if sensing him, your eyes lock with Carmys. Shyly, you send him a wave, which he returns, thanking you in his head for getting there at the perfect time.

Carmy ducks back to the kitchen with newfound energy. Richie enters shortly after him.

"Chef, your girl is here."

"Thanks, Chef, um, do you have the notepad?" Carmy asks as he continues cleaning dishes and making sure each one is up to par.

"Here you go."

Taking the notepad from Richie, he begins scribbling. I love- No, too fuckin' soon. Thank you for- Nope, it's too stale.

I'm happy you're here, Honey. Wait for me after you're done? -Bear

"Here," Carmy hands it to him without even looking at Richie.

"Keep up the good work, Chefs," Richie yells out to the room before disappearing to the front of the house. The door swinging shut behind him.

"Yes, Chef!"

Something isn't working in the kitchen. They're too backed up, and no matter how hard they try, they're always a tad too slow. Through Sydney surrounding the wheel to Richie, Carmy steals glances out the kitchen window. You're smiling at whatever your brother says, your lips sipping the wine he chose. Carmy can get through this night because, in the end, you'll be waiting for him.

"There he is," you sing as you spot Carmy walking out of the kitchen. The chef's whites back in his locker as he sports his white t-shirt, jeans, and jacket.

Fak, who kept you company while Carmy finished up, speaks up next, "My brother, I'm gonna grab a sandwich and head home. Honey, it was a pleasure meeting you."

"You too, Neil!"

"Thanks for everything," Carmy tells him, giving him a hug and a pat like dudes do.

Carmy turns and grabs your hand to pull you close and kiss your cheek. "What did you think?"

"It was the most delicious thing I've ever tasted," you tell him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

There's a reason Carmy has had so many accolades despite his young age. He has a gift in the kitchen. The moment his food touched your taste buds, your life changed. He and Sydney outdid themselves, and the way everything flowed showed how much work they put into the restaurant.

"You're exaggerating," Carmy modestly says, his arms wrapping around your waist.

"I'm really not," you shake your head, pursing your lips. Carmy can't resist placing a small peck on your red-painted lips.

"What about your famous pizza?"

"No, it might be the best pizza in Chicago, but whatever I ate today topped it," you smile at him, scrunching your nose. "Consider your chef's license reinstated,"

"Thanks," Carmy laughs breathily, "Do you mind if we walk? I feel some of the rush still."

"Lead the way, Mr. Berzatto."

Carmy grabs your hand, leading you to the streets of Chicago. It's silent momentarily as the wind cools Carmy's heated face. He places his hand along with yours into his pocket.

"Did your brother like it?" He asks, breaking the ice.

"Oh yeah. I'm officially like the best sister ever," you respond, squeezing his hand.

You had accidentally forgotten that your brother had passed the Bar exam. So, you didn't have time to get him anything in celebration. You figured dinner at a lovely new restaurant would help while you got him a proper present.

"How did you feel throughout, though? It looked intense." You often found yourself looking through the small glass window into the kitchen. They were always on the move, looking for the next thing to do.

"It didn't just look like it. I'm used to it, though," Carmy admits with a sniff. Everyone's best and worst habits shone through for those couple of hours. It's an environment he's all too familiar with, in and out of the kitchen.

"That rough," you grimace.

"It's fine. We have a lot to work on, but it's a start, and it wasn't entirely terrible," Carmy says, thinking back on tonight. Before coming out to meet you, he wrote down a couple of things to go through with Sugar and Sydney.

"Good, 'cause I hope The Bear sticks around the block," you say, bumping your shoulder with his.

You invite Carmy into your house when you arrive. He takes up your offer, holding your hand to help you balance as you take your heels off. It reminds Carmy he forgot to mention how beautiful you looked today.

He follows you to the kitchen, watching your hips sway and your dress skirt swishing. Padding to the wine fridge, you pick out a bottle of red to celebrate.

Carmy indulges in looking at your legs as you stretch up to reach for the glasses of wine up in your cabinets. His blue eyes darken as your dress hikes up, exposing your pretty thighs.

His gaze darts back up at you when you turn around to place the glasses on the kitchen counter. You hand him the wine opener so he can do the honors because you suck at taking the cork out. It's why you mainly stick to cheaper wines with twist-off caps.

"Here is to The Bear and its amazing owner," you say, lifting your glass in front of you.

"Here's to not fuckin' it up entirely," Carmy follows, making you giggle. Your wine glasses clink, and you take a drink.

Placing the glass back down, Carmy pins you against the counter, his strong hands resting on the edge of it. You look at him through your lashes, a hand coming up to his chest to feel the steady thumping of his heart.

"You look beautiful. I like the dress," Carmy murmurs. It's better late than never.

The dress you wear is a pretty shade of light blue. Simple yet dressy. The neckline gives him a good view of your cleavage and has long sleeves to compensate for the shorter length. They currently cover the goosebumps lining your skin.

"Yeah? I picked it out thinking you might," you reveal, biting your lip. The shade reminded you of his eyes.

"You were right," he whispers, cupping your jaw. As pretty as the dress is, he's sure it'll look so much better on the floor.

Carmy closes his eyes as he leans down to kiss you. He's always struggled with words, so he hopes it's enough for you to catch what he's trying to say.

You smile into the kiss, blindly leaving your glass to the side to be able to touch him. Your palm presses against his chest and taut abdomen. He hides a nice amount of muscle under his t-shirts, a pleasant surprise.

Carmy easily lifts you up to sit down on the kitchen island. He steps between your legs, never breaking the heated kiss. The hands on your waist trail down to your thighs and under your dress. Carmy's tattooed hands squeeze your ass and thighs, earning him a moan from you.

This is the farthest you've ever gotten, and you're more than ready to have all of him. Carmy knows this, which leads to his thoughts getting out of control.

He has to make a decision now. Does he allow himself to be with you, or does he remain by himself like always? Richie's, Sugar's, Cicero's, and Sydney's voices all shout at him different things. Some are in favor, and others are in opposition. 'Uh oh.'

He can't lead you on and sleep with you if he will back out tomorrow. The voices become deafening in an instant, ripping him away from your embrace. His emotions bubbled over and spilled all over the place.

"Wait, stop, I just-" Carmy breathes heavily, taking a couple of steps back from you. Carmy's hand comes up to his forehead as he attempts to organize his thoughts.

"What's wrong?" You ask worriedly. Did you do something wrong?

Carmen's thoughts spill out his mouth without making much sense as he paces in your kitchen. "I can't stop thinking about it and owe it to my team..."

"Carm?" You slide off the kitchen counter, approaching him slowly.

"-keeps saying it's a distraction," he rambles mostly to himself. His heart is pounding painfully in his chest. If he didn't know any better, he'd think he was having a heart attack.

"Hey, hey, hey. What's a distraction?" Softly, you grab onto his arms, stopping him in his tracks, trying to find his lost gaze.

"You. Whatever this is," Carmy breathes, finally meeting your eyes, which he instantly regrets as your eyes turn sad.

The watering of your eyes is unintentional, as is the knot forming in your throat. "You think I'm distracting you?" You question barely above a whisper.

His response is instant, "Fuck, no, the opposite. W-When I'm with you or-or think about you, things get clearer, and it's-it's when I feel the most focused." Carmy holds your shoulders, comforting you because he never meant to hurt you. He can't stand the sad look in your eyes.

Slowly, you begin to piece together his rambling and conclude that other people have been telling him you're a distraction. You wonder if they don't want him to be happy. The Bear is the center of Carmy's life, and before that, it was the restaurant in New York. He deserves more than this crazy job.

"Then fuck what others tell you, Carmen. You deserve to have a life outside The Bear." Maybe you're selfish because you don't want to lose him, but you hope he believes your words.

"I-I don't. I don't deserve all your attention or your affection. I'm nothing special. I don't deserve you." Carmy says, shaking his head with furrowed brows.

Weeks ago, he had no source of enjoyment. He said it himself at the support group. Now, he has you, yet he can't bear the thought of you wanting to be with him. He feels like he's tricking you into a bad deal. That's what he is, though, isn't he? An overachieving fuck up with tons upon tons of baggage.

Carmen Berzatto is an anxious person with too many problems in his life. He has a fucked up family. His mother is a mentally unstable alcoholic. His brother was addicted to painkillers and decided that shooting himself on a bridge was better than living this life. That's without mentioning all the trauma he has from his job and the terrible people he's worked with.

What good does he have to offer you?

"Yes, you do," you reassure him, placing your hands on his cheeks. The cool metal of your rings soothes him somewhat, grounding him. "You deserve all that and more, Carmy. You're so sweet and kind and hard-working. You've been through shit. You deserve something good in life. Maybe it's me, or maybe it's not, but don't close yourself off."

You're begging at this point. Whatever this relationship is, it's just starting. He's not giving himself a chance. You like Carmy so damn much. He's funny without knowing it and thoughtful, too. There are so many qualities he doesn't realize he has.

His eyes watch you as tears line them. He's silently pleading for you to convince him. To get him out of his own head and forget the expectations others have on him.

"I'm not going to force you into anything, Carm. It's your call, but I've enjoyed our last couple of months together. I know we don't know each other completely, but I want to know everything about you. I have feelings for you, so whatever you decide, I'll support it."

Being honest is all you can do at this point. You pour your heart out and hope Carmy chooses you.

You and Carmy stand in the middle of your kitchen. Face to face, reaching out towards each other. It's clear as day that you want the same thing. It's only a matter of taking the right steps now.

"I can't let you go," Carmy responds, grabbing the hand on his cheek. His thumb brushes over the back of it.

"Then don't."

Carmy's decision is made. Without another thought, he smashes his lips against yours. He grabs the back of your neck, tilting your head to meet his heated kiss.

It's more intense now that the cards are on the table. Nothing to hold him back.

Tongues clash together as your bodies seek each other out. The temperature rises when Carmy lifts you up to wrap your legs around his hips. His hands are on the back of your thighs, holding tight onto you.

"Bedroom?" He asks, breaking the kiss, a trail of saliva between the two of you.

"Down the hallway," you breathe heavily, kissing down his neck.

Carmy makes it to the bedroom, opening the door with a bang. He spots your bed, placing you in the middle with him holding himself up on top of you.

He watches as your back meets the bed and your fair fans around you like a halo. The curvature of your breasts accentuated even more from the position.

Carmy hikes your leg further up his hips as he dips down to kiss a wet trail down to the neckline of your dress. He leaves open-mouthed kisses on the rounded flesh, nipping at the skin playfully when you arch your back to push more into him.

"Carmy," you breathe, cupping his jaw to pull him back to your lips. Grinding your hips, you manage to graze against his bulge.

"Shit," Carmy shakily curses, thrusting his hips to meet your touch once more.

Curiously, your hands wander across his body. Carmy's moans in your ear make your panties wetter than they already are.

You grasp the hem of his shirt, pulling it up and off. You're desperate to have him, your cunt aches for him. Your nails scratch down his firm stomach when he bites into your earlobe, softly calling your name.

"Unzip me," you pant, pushing him away and pulling your hair off to the side.

Carmy grabs the small zipper, pushing it down and exposing your pretty skin. As he slides the fabric off of you, he kisses your shoulders and back, taking note of the goosebumps on your skin.

His mind is in the present, and nothing can take it away from him. It's like a switch he managed to turn off in his brain. No more family drama, no more The Bear. It's just you...and him. Honey and Bear.

You stretch your neck to the side, giving Carmy more space to pepper kisses across the delicate skin. The dress pooling at your feet exposes your chest, and Carmy's hands come up from behind you. His fingers shyly brush up your stomach, tickling you, until they find your breasts.

He draws a moan from you as he squeezes them in his palms, pushing you back to meet his chest; turning your head to the side, you find his lips.

The kiss breaks when he slides one of his hands into your underwear, dipping his finger to feel your wetness. Your arm reaches back to dig your fist in his curls.

"You're soaked, Honey," he moans, finding your clit to tease it.

"Been waiting for so long, Carmy," you whine as your hips stutter along with the flicks of his wrist.

"I'm sorry. I'm here now," he purrs into your ear.

Carmy can hear the distinct 'shlick, shlick, shlick' of his fingers against your clit. It spurs him on as he slips a finger into you. He can't wait to have his cock inside of you, snug and warm.

"Oh my god, Carmen," you gasp when he prods another finger into your entrance. Hanging onto his arm across your chest, you roll your hips against his fingers.

"I got you," he says, digging his fingers deeper into you and curling them.

Your knees buckle as the tips of his fingers curl and hit your g spot repeatedly. If it weren't for him, you'd be on the floor. With your tummy tensing under the weight of the pleasure, you stutter out, "I'm gonna cum."

Carmy's hand is wet from your juices as he ups the ante. Just as your walls begin to squeeze around his fingers, he pulls them out to circle around your clit.

"Oh, f-fuck!" You squeal, throwing your head back onto his shoulder.

The way your clit softly twitches under the pads of his fingers fucks with Carmy. It makes his cock throb and leak into his jeans.

Untangling from his embrace, you place a breathless kiss on Carmy's lips. His slick digits dig into your hips as he prolongs it.

Blindly, you find the edge of his jeans and unbutton them. If Carmy notices, he doesn't say anything. You want to give him one more reason to stay with you.

He moans into your mouth when you grasp his length through his boxers. He's rock hard as he desperately ruts against your hand.

With your hold still on him, you push him to sit on the bed. Carmy looks up at you lustfully. You plant a single short kiss on his lips before kneeling on the floor between his legs. You leave love bites down his chest while looking up at him through your lashes.

Carmy brushes away any hair that falls on your face, his blue eyes focused solely on you. When you reach the waistband of his pants, you pull them down along with his underwear.

His length pops up from its confines, slapping against his tummy. Its tip is a pretty pink shade, with a thick length and a slight curve to it. You salivate instantly at the sight of it.

Carmy's nervous under you. It's been a long since he's been with someone else, and he's never been the most confident.

"Relax," you say teasingly, kissing around his lower tummy to calm him.

Finally, your hand wraps around his cock, lightly pumping it. Leaving sloppy kisses down his happy trail, you feel Carmy's stomach taut in anticipation.

It's been so fuckin' long.

With your eyes staring into his hungry ones, you kiss the pink head that glistens with pre, teasingly brushing it against your lips. Keeping eye contact, you lick his length from base to tip. You alternate between kissing and licking for a minute, enjoying watching Carmy squirm.

"Fuck, Honey," Carmy throws his head back at your torturous pace.

"Look at me," you sweetly say.

Taking mercy on him, you part your lips to take his length into your warm, wet mouth, bobbing your head to a steady rhythm. Prying one of Carmy's hands from the bedsheets, you place it in your hair, encouraging him to use you.

"Good girl," he moans, fisting your hair to force you to take more of his cock. You let your hands rest on his thighs, feeling the strong muscles underneath.

Carmen observes you with hooded eyes as you hollow your cheeks, sucking him expertly. He's obsessed with how your lips leave behind a tinge of red lipstick on his skin.

"Shit-Fuck me," he yells into the room when you swallow around him.

You want him to cum, but Carmy has other plans. He doesn't think he'll last long if you make him cum now, so after the stunt you pulled, he pulls you off his sensitive cock.

The sight in front of him is erotic as a string of saliva connects you to his cock. The tears lining your eyes and blushed nose add to that pretty picture.

"c'me 'ere," he says, helping you up and kissing you as he leads you back to the bed. He tugs off your wet panties, throwing them somewhere in the room.

You lay back on your pillows with Carmy slotted between your legs. It's torture having him so close and yet so far. Now that you've gotten a taste of his cock you need more.

Carmy touches the inside of your thighs, inching his way closer to your cunt. He instantly notices how fuckin' wet you are. You're dripping even more than before.

"Sucking me off, got you this wet, princess?" He asks, leaning his forehead against yours.

"Mhm, Carmy, wish you would've cum in my mouth," you admit, tilting your head up to brush your lips against his.

"You have such a dirty fuckin' mouth," he chuckles darkly.

Where did this side of you come from? You're usually so sweet and delicate. He should've known you would be a freak in bed. To think he almost let this all go.

"Carmen, please."

"Please, what?" Carmen teases, lining his cock against your opening, wetting his cock.

"Fuck me," you moan, kissing his jaw.

"'m gonna fuck you good, princess," he promises, with a shaky nod before he remembers, "Fuck! I-I don't have a condom with me."

"I should have some in my drawer," you mention breathlessly.

Carmy opens the condom in record time but is surprised when you take it from his hands and roll it down his shaft yourself. You just want an excuse to keep touching him.

With your leg hiked up, he aligns himself and slowly pushes in. You both gasp at the sensation. Carmy, for one, is trying to not bust a nut so soon because you're so tight and warm.

Meanwhile, you hold onto Carmy's back as he stretches you out. It's been so long, and your toys aren't nearly as thick as him. You breathily moan in his ear, which he takes as a good sign as he begins thrusting more forcefully and deeper.

Carmy hopes this isn't a dream, and if it is, he hopes he doesn't wake up anytime soon. He has one hand holding onto your thigh and the other holding himself up. His gold chain dangles above you as he picks his head up from its spot on your shoulder. You take the chance to tug on it, returning his attention to your lips.

"You feel so fuckin' good, princess," Carmy groans, squeezing your thigh.

"I love your cock, Carmy," you whine, feeling the drag of his cock on your walls. The pleasure is all-consuming, leaving a fuzzy feeling in your brain.

"You like when I fuck you like this?"

"Yes, yes, yes, keep going."

His hips snap hard against yours, hitting that spot each and every time. His pelvis hitting your clit. He squeezes your thigh, hips, and sides before his hand squeezes your tits, too, playing with your nipples.

Suddenly, he straightens up, pulling you down the bed to have you flushed against his pelvis. He's a sight for sore eyes that forces you to keep your eyes open.

His thrusts are more forceful like this, where he digs his fingers into the fat of your hips to pull you towards him with each snap. It makes your tits bounce, hypnotizing him.

Through your lustful gaze, he looks like a marble statue. His chest glimmers under the lowlights of your room as sweat clings to him, his chain jumping against the blushed skin of his chest, and his fucking hair falling over his pretty eyes. The set of his jaw could've been sculpted by Michaelangelo himself.

Your hands indulgently reach down to touch him in any way you can. You can only reach his stomach, where a nice pair of abs appear due to the effort.

"You like what you see?" Carmy teases. He's entirely lost on you because otherwise, he wouldn't be as cocky to say that.

"You're so handsome," you pitifully say. Your brain not computing as it should, but how can it when it's being fucked out of you?

Carmy doesn't know how to respond. It's not often he's called handsome or looked at as lustfully as you're looking at him. Thankfully, he doesn't need to say much as your eyes roll back and you squeeze your walls around him.

"Carmy, I'm so close," you pant, trying to find any part of him to hold. He offers you his hand, lacing your fingers together.

"Just a little longer, princess," Carmy groans as you clench around him. "Fuck, don't do that to me."

He glances down at the spot where you and him meet to see a ring of white on the base of his cock. He's enthralled with the way you stretch to accommodate him and the way your pink walls drag along his length when he pulls out. Fuckin' beautiful.

Putting all his knowledge to use, he thumbs your clit, making you jolt. He needs you to cum now, or he won't make it. His balls feel like they're about to burst.

"Carmy," you cry out, tightening the hold on his hand.

You teeter on the edge for only a second until you cum, waves of pleasure washing over you. Carmy curses from above you as your tightening walls choke his cock, making him cum too. He stutters his hips a couple more times, riding out his orgasm.

He leans back down again, catching your lips in a small kiss. His body slowly relaxes against yours as his head rests on your neck, breathing in the scent of sweat and perfume.

"That was good," you breathe heavily, rubbing your hands up and down your back. You're just starting to think clearly.

"Fuckin' amazing," he adds.

There's a beat of silence before you both burst out laughing.

A bubble encases you, and it can't be popped as long as you stay in your bedroom. Carmy doesn't want to leave; it's late already, and in a couple of hours, he has to get up and go to The Bear to repeat the process.

For once, he forgets about that and focuses solely on you. He has a couple of hours to spare. Sleep is overrated.

You face each other on the bed, talking in hushed whispers. Your fingers trace the '773' tattoo on his bicep like you've always wanted to do. It tickles Carmy, so he grabs your hand and kisses your palm.

"Now that I'm thinking about it. I didn't see your tattoo," he whispers to prevent disturbing the peace.

Your face warms at his words. You had forgotten about that. He's seen a lot of you in the past couple of hours. What's a bit more of skin?

"You missed my big bad tattoo?" you joke, poking his nose.

"Show me," he says with a lopsided smile.

You make it dramatic, rolling your eyes and giving him a big sigh. Sitting up on the bed, you peel the bed sheets from your body. Carmy props himself up on his elbow in anticipation.

Right there, on your left side and under the curve of your breast is a small outline of Winnie the Pooh's face. Carmy touches it, biting his lip to hold back a laugh. Unsurprisingly, it's precisely what he expected from you.

A few chuckles pass his lips as he pulls you back into his arms.

"Don't laugh. It made sense at the time," you whine, covering yourself back up.

Carmy pulls you to his chest, kissing your temple, "I'm sure it does. Pooh Bear loves his Honey," Just like he does.

"Exactly! Someone gets it!"

And he does because Carmy, aka The Bear, is quickly falling for his Honey.

A couple of days later, Carmy is back at your house helping you prepare the famous pizza you promised him. He lets you take the lead on everything, preferring to follow your instructions rather than let his mind run wild. It's not like you'll let him do most of the work anyway; it's your recipe, and you're protective over it.

"Can you chop up the veggies?" You ask him as you lay down the dough in a pan.

"Yes, Chef," he nods, kissing your cheek as he digs through your kitchen drawers for a knife.

"Oh, I like the sound of that," you muse, shaking your shoulders as you knead the dough to spread it.

"Don't let it get to your head, Hun," Carmy smiles, slicing the vegetables expertly.

Cooking with Carmy is surprisingly easier than you thought. He's not controlling over the kitchen or judgy. He lets you do your thing in peace, following your orders no matter how strange they might be. This is your kitchen, not his.

As you spread the sauce and cheese over one of the doughs, Carmy gets a call. He wipes his hands with a rag and picks it up. You only hear his side of the conversation.

"No, I'm off tonight. I'm with my girl. Call Sugar. She should be able to help you with that. Great. Thanks."

Carmy had promised himself that he would try to balance it all better. He has his team to help each other out. The Bear is a priority, but so are you because you help him keep whatever sanity he has left.

Carmy hangs up, and when he returns to you, he notices the grin on your lips as you put the toppings he chopped on the pizza.

"What's with the smile?" Carmy stands behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist as he props his head on your shoulder. Your hair tickles his nose, smelling the notes of coconut of your shampoo he digs his head farther into it.

"I'm your girl?" You ask, the smile still present on your face. He'd missed your initial reaction when you heard him call you 'my girl.' You almost dropped the container of pepperoni that was in your hands. It's a shock cause he never asked you to be his girl.

Carmy pauses and tenses up against you. "Uh, yes? Hold up. Turn around," he orders, as he places his hand on your hips to turn your body around.

"Yes, chef," you respond cheekily, your arms around his neck, careful not to touch his sweater with your messy hands.

"Aren't you my girl?" He frowns, rubbing a thumb over your hips.

"I could be, but I don't remember you asking," you pretend to think.

Carmy never directly asked you to be his girlfriend, and you never asked him to be your boyfriend. You might as well be a couple since you've been dating long enough. You decide to seize the opportunity now to get it out of him. Having a proper anniversary day would be nice because you hope this lasts.

"I see, my mistake," Carmy nods, catching your vibe, "Honey…"

"Yes, Carmy?" You blink innocently at him.

"Would you do me the honor of becoming my girlfriend?" He finally asks.

You could joke around but decided against it cause the moment is perfect, "I'd love to," you nod, giving him a small kiss.

When the pizza is cooked, you bring it over to the dining table. Serving Carmy a pretty slice. Excitedly, you wait for him to bite into it and taste it.

"What do you think?" You ask expectantly.

"You were right. Best pizza in Chicago," Carmy agrees with an unbelievable laugh. He's got a lot to learn from you. It's the truth, or maybe he's blinded by his feelings. Only time will tell where you and Carmy will end up.

The End?

thank you guys for pulling through and reading! i know it's a slow burn but i hope you liked it! i certainly enjoyed writing it even though it took me like 4 months.

if you liked it, i would appreciate you liking it, commenting or reblogging. if you have some feedback feel free to send it my way too. i wanna get better at this whole writing thing!

thank you! bye xx

[dixons-sunshine]

js read your shopping spree and dying for your haircut fics and omg

can u pretty please, with a bow on top, write another part to that series or like an au where they get separated at the fall of the world and a few season later (preferably that prison era of daryl he was so fawking sexy there like omg) they found each other again and i want some build up to their reunion yk like someone else finds r and brings them in and some ppl kinda chatting abt the new girl or wtv and dars not rlly gaf cuz he kinda getting tired of trying to find r (realistically i don’t think he’d give up easily but let’s js pretend yk) but then they see each other and they’re like omfg the love of my life’s here and safe and like i need that glenn and maggie type reunion but like tenfold bc r and dar alr loved and knew each other before the fall yk and like yeah😣

idky but i’m a sucker for “r and daryl had a relationship beforehand, got separated, and reunited” trope (?) fic, blurb shit and you’d literally be godsent if u wrote this oml

I Found You | Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader

Summary: When the dead started to rise and the world went to hell, Daryl got seperated from you, the love of his life. After over a year of searching for you and finding no evidence of your survival, Daryl was beginning to give up and count his losses. One day, Carol stumbled upon a wounded woman while out on a run with Glenn, and the two of them decide to accept you into the prison. Little did they know, that would end up being one of the best decisions they could've ever made.

Genre: Angst to fluff.

Era: Prison, pre season 4, post season 3.

Warnings: Swearing, blood, death, mentions of attempted sexual assault (not descriptive)

Word count: 4.3k

A/n: Thank you so much for the request! I've decided to write the au since there's already a part three for the SSHD (Shopping Spree, Hangout Dreams) universe in the works, but this request was way too good to not write. I hope you like it! And I absolutely agree with you. There's something about prison era Daryl that just hits different. He was on another level completely.

As always, my requests are open for any TWD requests.

(Just thought I'd say that both third- and second person is used. I referred to the reader in third  person when Glenn and Carol first met her, but it soon shifts to second person when she introduced herself. Just thought I'd let y'all know the shift is intentional.)

—

“Okay, so I can't guess what you did before all of this correctly, but I bet there is something that I will be right about.”

Daryl looked at Zach skeptically as they trudged through the abandoned store, looking for supplies to bring back to the prison. “Yeah? Wha's tha'?”

“You're brooding, quiet, you like to keep to yourself,” Zach started, leaning nonchalantly against one of the shelves while he watched the archer place multiple different packs and boxes into his bag. “The way you act most of the time would suggest you've never been in a relationship before, but there are clear signs that you were with someone before all of this.”

Daryl stiffened for a moment, his hand lingering above a pack, before regaining his composure and continuing his task. “Wha' signs?”

“Well, for one, you know exactly what kind of tampons and pads to get for the ladies at the prison. I would've just dumped everything in and have them sort through it, but you are only taking specific brands,” Zach pointed out, motioning to the box of tampons Daryl had just put back onto the shelf.

When Daryl didn't reply, Zach took that as his cue to continue. “And while we're on the topic of periods, you seem to know exactly what to get the girls for the pain and what to do to curve their bad tempers. What guy would know that if he didn't have a girlfriend before all of this? And to top it all off, and this is totally unrelated to everything I just said, I've seen that locket necklace you keep in your pocket. It's pretty worn out and faded, but you can definitely tell it's something from this generation, so it can't be something that was passed down from a relative, so that brings me to my conclusion. You, Daryl Dixon, had a girl before all of this.”

Daryl sighed, shutting his eyes tightly as he willed the onslaught of memories away. Memories that were too painful to think of, memories that did nothing but remind the archer of his failure. His failure at finding you, the love of his life, after the dead started walking. A failure he had to live with for as long as he remained alive.

Daryl opened his eyes and turned abruptly, leaving the young man behind him as he stalked towards the exit, his bag slung over his shoulder. Zach hurriedly caught up to him, struggling to keep at a steady pace beside him as Daryl strode quickly, wanting to put some distance between him and Zach.

“Woah, man! Slow down!” Zach complained, jogging to keep up with him. “Was it because I brought up the girl thing? I didn't realise it was a touchy subject.”

“It ain't none of yer damn business,” Daryl grumbled under his breath, stalking over to the truck him and Zach were using that day.

“Daryl! Come on, man. It's not that deep.”

Daryl gritted his teeth as he opened up the driver's side door of the truck, throwing his bag into the back before climbing inside. He started up the truck and revved the engine, a warning sign to Zach that he was about to leave, with or without him.

Zach hurriedly scurried into the passenger seat, barely having time to close the door before Daryl started speeding off. He gripped the edge of his seat, sending Daryl an exasperated look.

“Daryl, what the hell? Calm down!” he exclaimed, unnerved by the archer's sudden burst of fury. He'd seen Daryl angry before, but it was never directed towards him. It was downright scary.

“'M calm,” Daryl replied through gritted teeth, his hands gripping the steering wheel tightly.

“That's what you call calm?!” Zach exclaimed, motioning out towards the road. “You're driving like a maniac! Slow down!”

Daryl simply ignored the man, keeping his eyes trained on the road. Memories of you unwillingly flooded his mind. Memories of your smile, your laugh and your beautiful eyes. Memories of the calm mornings you'd spend with the archer in your shared sad excuse for an apartment where the hot water was a joke. Memories where you'd both stand under the cold water of the shower, Daryl embracing you from behind in an attempt to make the cold water bearable for you. Memories of your loving touch on his skin, your fingers lightly tracing over the scars on his back as you whispered reassuring things into his ear, assuring him that his father's abuse had nothing to do with him, that it wasn't his fault that any of that happened to him.

The more Daryl's mind wandered, the more he remembered some of the bad memories. All those arguments you had with him over some of his escapades with Merle, telling him that it would only get him into trouble, flooded his mind. One of those arguments ended up being the reason he got seperated from you in the first place.

Merle had wanted to go do some drug deal and had barged into your apartment, practically dragging Daryl from your bed. You had begged him not to go, arguing with him that it was a bad idea and that something would go wrong this time. He remembered being so angry at you for insisting during that argument that Merle wasn't good for him, that he needed to cut back on seeing him or set some boundaries with him. He had stormed out of the apartment without so much as a goodbye, and now he regretted it more than he's regretted anything before in his life.

Daryl blamed himself daily for not having listened to you that day. If he had, he never would've been seperated from you and you would've been safe by his side. He longed to have you by his side again, to tell you that he was sorry and that he loved you. However, even after all this time of searching, going out for extended periods of time to look for signs of you, it was to no avail. You were gone, and it was all his fault.

“Daryl? Are... you okay?”

Daryl snapped back to reality at the sound of Zach's concerned voice. He felt a droplet of water roll down his cheek and he hurriedly wiped it away, realising that he was crying. He hadn't even realised that tears had started to well up in his eyes, so immersed was he in his own thoughts.

“'M fine,” Daryl insisted, wiping his eyes hurriedly as he willed the tears away.

Zach furrowed his eyebrows, before realisation dawned on him. “You did have a girl before all of this. You lost her, didn't you?” he asked sympathetically.

Daryl hesitantly nodded, swallowing in an attempt to get rid of the lump in his throat. “I didn't lose her,” he began, bringing the truck to a halt in front of the prison gates as he waited for someone to open them.

“I don't know if she's even dead at all. She's just... Gone.”

—

“What are we looking for, exactly?” Glenn asked Carol as they scanned over the shelving of an abandoned pharmacy, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

Carol sighed as she looked upon yet another empty shelf, its medical contents a thing of the past. “Anything medical. With all the new people we've been taking in, the supplies we have aren't going to be enough.”

“Okay,” Glenn drawled hesitantly. “But it doesn't look like there's anything worth scavenging here.”

“Let's just do a once over before we check the back. If there's nothing, we head on back. It's getting late,” Carol instructed. Glenn nodded, and the two of them dispersed to sweep through the small store once more.

“So,” Glenn started. “Is it just me, or has Daryl been more grumpy than usual?”

Carol hummed in agreement. “He has. He gets angry at the smallest of things lately.”

“Do you know why?”

“No,” Carol said, shaking her head. “I've asked him, but he won't say anything. Just tells me to mind my own business. It's really odd. He's more like he was back at the quarry. More closed off and snappy and I don't know why.”

“It's ever since he came back from that run with Zach a week ago,” Glenn replied, meeting up with the Carol again to go into the back room. “I've asked Zach if he knows why, but he refused to say anything. Says it's not his place to say.”

Carol frowned, opening the door that lead into the back room. “That's odd. So that means something—”

“Stay right there. Don't move another inch or I swear to god I'll shoot.”

Both Carol and Glenn froze in their tracks. They looked up and locked eyes with a woman, who's eyes were fiery as they darted between them.

“Names. Now. And weapons on the ground.”

“Okay, alright,” Carol responded, trying to diffuse the situation. She slowly lowered her gun and knife to the ground, urging Glenn to do the same. “I'm Carol, and this is Glenn. Now before we answer anymore questions, what's your name?”

The woman hesitated for a moment. “Y/n. What are you doing here?”

“We were looking for some supplies,” Carol spoke truthfully, eyeing the gun aimed at her carefully. “We're running low on medical things.”

After a couple of long, tense moments, with you scanning them from head to toe, you nodded to yourself after spotting something. Deciding to trust them for now, you slowly lowered the gun. However, you quietly hissed in pain, quickly clutching your side as you stumbled to regain your balance. After you steadied yourself, you limped over to your bag and grabbed a few things before handing them over to Carol and Glenn.

“Here. Hope these help. The place was ransacked when I got here. Wasn't a lot left to clear out.”

“Thank you, but we need more than this. This isn't going to last us long,” Carol responded, placing the items into her bag.

“No offence, lady, but I think I need the supplies more than you do at the moment. And I gave you more than half already. I can't spare more,” you said, clutching your side tightly.

“What happened?” Glenn asked, pointing to the your side, unable to stop his curiosity from seeping through.

“Flesh eaters,” you replied nonchalantly, shrugging your shoulders. “I was fighting a bunch of them when one lunged at me from the side. It toppled me through a broken window, and a shard sliced me.”

“Don't you have a group? Couldn't they help you?” Glenn questioned.

“Nope. I've been on my own since this whole thing started. I guess I should probably find a group, though. Things like this wouldn't happen if I had backup.”

You gingerly lifted your shirt, and both Carol and Glenn grimaced at the painful sight. The wound was deep and oozing blood. It would definitely need stitches, as well as someone to remove the remaining fragments of glass that still painfully stuck out of the wound. It was terrible. You wouldn't be able to get it all out without a professional.

Suddenly, an idea struck Carol. “You gave us some of the supplies you scavenged without even knowing us. Why?”

“Well, you didn't try to kill me, even after I held you at gunpoint. And by the looks of it, you guys have a group and are set up somewhere. Figured I should do the honourable thing and offer up some medical things if there's kids involved.”

“How do you know there's kids?” Glenn asked, confused.

“I can see the toys in your bag,” you pointed out, motioning to the toy truck that stuck out of the top of his bag. “Figured that adults wouldn't be playing with toy trucks while the world was ending.”

“Still, why would you? You don't owe us anything,” Carol questioned, though her mind was already set on one thing.

“Some might call me naive, but I hope that by doing some good in this fucked up world, karma will decide to do something good for me. That probably makes me stupid as shit, huh?” you replied, laughing before wincing at the pain that shot through your side at the small action.

Carol smiled at you. “We have a group set up not too far from here, at the prison. You can join if you want, but you have to answer three questions first.”

You raised your eyebrows at her. “Three questions? That's it?”

“Yeah.”

You shrugged your shoulders. “Alright, shoot.”

“How many walkers have you killed?” Carol began, watching you closely.

“A lot. Too many to keep track of at this point.”

“How many people have you killed?”

You hesitated for a moment, guilt creeping up on you. “Three.”

“Why?”

“Two of them were bit. They asked me to kill them. The other one... That bastard tried to rape me. I wouldn't let him.”

“I'm sorry,” Glenn said sympathetically.

“It's fine. I'm fine,” you waved him off, before turning your attention back to Carol. “How'd I do? Satisfactory enough?”

Carol nodded. “For me, yes. You'll still need to meet the leader and have him evaluate you, but I think you'll be alright. You'll fit in just fine.”

“Hopefully,” you laughed nervously, instantly paying the price for it with a sharp pain shooting up your side, making you visibly wince.

“Come on, let's get going. We have a doctor who can get that checked out for you,” Glenn prompted. He walked over to you and grabbed your bag, stopping your protest instantly. “It's fine, I've got it. One extra bag won't kill me.”

Together, all of you made your way out of the pharmacy and over to their car. You got settled in the back while Carol and Glenn got into the front, and before long you were setting off to the prison. Your eyes were beginning to droop, but Glenn seemed eager to get to know the new recruit better.

“What were you doing out there on your own anyway?”

“I was looking for my boyfriend. I was hoping that he might still be alive.”

“No luck?” he asked.

“No,” you shook your head, pursing your lips. “I'm beginning to think I might never find him, if he's even still alive.”

“Never say never,” Glenn encouraged you. “You'll find him someday, I know it.”

“I really hope so.”

—

“Have you seen that new chick Glenn and Carol brought back? She's a real looker.”

“I know, right? You think she's into blondes?”

“Even if she was, I doubt she'd go for your scrawny ass.”

“Easy, boys. She might not even be into guys. I could have a shot with her for all you know.”

Daryl groaned inwardly as he entered the cellblock. The new girl that Glenn and Carol brought in the day before was seemingly the hottest topic of discussion amongst everyone and he couldn't escape it, no matter where he tried to run to. Nobody, apart from Glenn, Carol, Rick and Hershel have officially met her, yet everybody had seemingly already formed an opinion about her. Although there were a lot of different opinions, everyone seemingly agreed on one thing; the new girl was hotter than hell.

Daryl was the only guy in the entire prison that hadn't seen her yet. He was out hunting when Carol and Glenn brought her back and he hasn't bothered to go out of his way to introduce himself to her ever since he got back. He'd meet her soon enough and he wasn't hoping to make friends with her. The more people he managed to keep at arm's length, the better.

“Yo, Daryl. What do you think about the new chick?” a guy called Mitchell asked him, snapping him from his thoughts.

Daryl shrugged. “Ain't met her yet,” he replied, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Okay, but have you seen her?” another guy called Ronnie asked. “I'm telling you, man, hotter than the sun on a summer day. I'm hoping she'll let me hit at least once.”

“How 'bout ya leave the poor girl alone?” Daryl snapped, turning to face the group that was walking with him. “She ain't even been here two days and y'all are already ogling her like she's some prize to be won. Have some more respect.”

“Jeez,” Mitchell whistled. “What's got your panties up in a bunch?”

“Nothin',” Daryl muttered angrily, turning around to walk further into the cellblock. “Jus' wanna get this fuckin' job done and all y'all can do is yap 'bout some girl ya dun' even know properly. I dun' give two flyin' shits 'bout who or wha' ya talk 'bout, but do it after the job's done. Y'all ain't free loadin' here. Do yer job, earn yer keep.”

“Sorry,” a girl called Ariana muttered, sending him an apologetic look. “What do you need us to do?”

“Take those planks over there and take em to the guard tower. Rick wants to fortify it and wants it done by the end of the week.”

“What are you gonna do?” Ronnie asked, crossing his arms as he sized Daryl up.

Daryl glared at him and squared his shoulders, looking down on his shorter, scrawny frame. “Hershel needs help with somethin'. I believe ya can understand tha' if the doctor needs somethin' done, it's considered top priority?”

Ronnie shrunk under Daryl's intense glare, nodding quickly. “Yeah, of course.”

“Great.”

With that, Daryl turned on his heel and set off to find Hershel. He didn't have to search far, however, because Hershel halted him before he could go outside.

“Daryl, over here,” the old man called after him, halting him in his tracks.

Daryl turned and walked over to Hershel, nodding at him respectfully. “Wha' ya need, Doc?”

“I'm sure you've heard of the girl Carol and Glenn brought back yesterday by now?” Hershel questioned, chuckling at the slight groan Daryl emitted.

“Who hasn't? Apparently she's really good lookin'. Her looks has been all people has to say 'bout her.”

Hershel nodded. “Unfortunately, that is true. Only Rick, Glenn, Carol and myself has had the pleasure of meeting her personally up until this point. She's a lovely woman. Had no problem that there wasn't anything to ease the pain when I had to stitch her side and she's more than willing to get up and start working to earn her keep. She won't be able to for at least another day or so since her side needs to heal up a bit first, but Carol and Glenn did good with bringing her back. She'll fit right in.”

“Good,” Daryl nodded. “She a good fighter?”

“From what I understand, she's been out on her own since the beginning. She's not dead yet, so I'd say she's alright,” Hershel replied, adjusting on his crutches.

“Alrigh', now enough 'bout her. Wha' did ya need me to do?”

Hershel gave him an encouraging pat on the back, confusing the archer. “You're going to be one of the very few people who gets to say they met the new girl for the next couple of days. I was hoping you could help her fix her bunk? One of the legs on the bunk broke and she's dead set on repairing it. She won't let me help because she keeps insisting I've done enough for her, so I told her I would send someone else to help. She'll be expecting you.”

Daryl pursed his lips but nodded, parting ways with the older man. He walked over to the cell that Hershel had pointed towards and stopped at the doorway, hesitating to make his presence known.

You had your back turned towards the door, hunched over as you inspected the leg of the bunk. You weren't aware of the archer that stood a few feet behind you, engrossed entirely in your own thoughts. That was, until he spoke up behind you.

“Hey. Hershel said ya needed help?”

You froze at the voice, willing the supposed hallucination away. You slowly rose to your feet and turned, locking eyes with the one person you've been searching for since the world went to hell—your boyfriend, Daryl Dixon.

The moment Daryl locked eyes with you, a whirlwind of emotions flooded his being. Relief, love, happiness, wonder, sadness, confusion and so much more that he couldn't decipher. Although his first instinct was to wrap you in his arms and never let go of you again, he hesitated, refusing to believe you were real. He took a step back, his eyes wide as he looked at you.

You stared back at him with equal amounts of disbelief. You took a hesitant step forward. “Daryl?” you whispered. The man in front of you looked slightly different; a little bit older and his hair was longer, but there was no mistaking it. The man in front of you was Daryl.

Daryl remained silent, his eyes locked on you as you continued to take agonizingly slow steps towards him. He watched as you stopped in front of him and hesitantly raised your hand, bringing it to rest on his cheek. Daryl instantly melted into your familiar soft touch, and that was all the confirmation he needed. Without another thought, he gently grabbed you and pulled you into his arms, tightly clinging to you as he pressed multiple kisses to the top of your head.

“Yer real,” he whispered, a laugh of amazement falling from his lips. “Yer real. Yer alive. Yer actually still alive.”

You laughed quietly against his chest as you held onto him tightly, never wanting to let go ever again. Your laughter soon turned into sobs, tears of relief and happiness falling from your eyes.

“I thought I'd never see you again,” you whispered through your tears, burying your face into his chest. “I thought you were dead, Dar.”

“'M here,” he whispered into your ear, a few tears of his own falling from his eyes. “'M alive. Yer alive. 'M never lettin' ya go ever again. 'M sorry I ever left tha' day in the first place.”

“It's okay. I'm sorry, too. I never should've asked you to cut Merle out of your life. He's your brother. It was unreasonable of me.”

“Nah, it wasn't,” he denied, placing another gentle kiss on the top of your head. “Ya were jus' lookin' out fer me. I never shoulda gotten mad at ya in the first place.”

“Let bygones be bygones?” you whispered against his chest.

Daryl chuckled before nodding. “Yeah, of course.”

The two of you held onto each other for a couple of moments longer until you pulled back. Daryl was about to voice his protest until you pressed your lips against his in an urgent kiss, wrapping your arms around his neck. His arms settled on your waist, pulling you closer into him as he kissed you back. There was no lustful hunger behind the kiss—there was only love and longing, two broken parts finally reuniting and mending together as one.

Daryl pulled back and placed his forehead against yours, closing his eyes. “I missed ya so much,” he whispered, willing the lump in his throat to go away.

“I missed you too. More than you even know,” you replied, cupping Daryl's cheek with one of your hands. “But I found you. I finally found you.”

Daryl leaned into your touch before turning his head to kiss the palm of your hand. However, he soon pulled away from you and strode over to your bag, slinging it over your shoulder.

“C'mon,” he said, taking your hand in his as he pulled you to walk beside him.

“Where are we going?” you questioned, falling into step beside the man you loved.

“There ain't no need fer ya to sleep in there. Yer gonna sleep with me in my cell,” Daryl said simply, pulling you along to his cell.

You giggled but said nothing, silently following him into his cell. When he placed your bags down on the floor, Daryl placed a soft kiss on your lips before stalking out of the cell.

“Where are you going?” you called after him, furrowing your eyebrows in confusion.

“'M gonna find tha' prick who objectified ya and teach him a lesson. Yer hot as fuck, yes, that much I can accept people sayin', but Ronnie implied he wanted to sleep with ya outrigh'. He's really gonna regret sayin' tha' in a few moments. Dun' even try to talk me outta it.”

“Hey, Dar?” you called after him, halting him in his tracks. “I love you.”

Daryl smiled at you. “I definitely love ya more.”

[sturnioz]

hey

wait

what about

mechanic!matt…………..he been told you to get rid of your car but you don’t have the money for it, the uni semester has already been off to a chaotic start, and PLUS it was a gift from your grandpa on your 18th :(

i lowkey kinda fucked up this req and changed it a bit cos i struggled to write it :| i wrote meeting mechanic!matt for the first time instead my bad my bad my bad. but welcome mechanic!matt <3

you're freaking out.

you're freaking out so bad you're teetering on the edge of a mental breakdown, overwhelmed by a storm of emotions as you stand in the middle of the auto repair shop.

you've been so stressed; your new semester had a chaotic start, your classes keeping you unbelievably busy. to make matters worse, you've also had a painful falling out with your best friend, the kind of rift that feels like a gaping wound. on top of that, you recent breakup still fucking stings and you feel like you're going to throw up every time you cross paths.

and now, as if the universe is conspiring against you, your car has betrayed you, refusing to start in the middle of the road when you were on your way home. (the embarrassment of having to call a tow truck had only made it worse).

the constant sounds of clanging metal and the low hum of machinery surrounds you, gnawing at your nerves, overstimulating you. you close your eyes and rub your temples, desperately trying to block out the flickering overhead lights that create disorientating flashes behind your eyelids.

the air was thick too, heavy with the scent of motor oil and burnt rubber, a pungent reminder of your current predicament that makes your stomach churn with nausea, and you feel an overwhelming urge to escape, to bolt out the fucking door and leave this place behind.

but you can't.

you can't abandon your car — your baby, a precious gift from your grandpa.

with a deep breath, you peel your eyes open, your teeth gnawing at your bottom lip as you scan the bustling shop for the beefy man who greeted you when you first arrived. you're desperate for answers, anxious to find out if your car is truly fucked.

oh god, you wanted to cry. the thought of the repair costs makes you stomach twist. how much money will you have to spend? money that you don't even have. panic instantly washes over you.

you're screwed. you're done. you're hopeless. you're—

"hey," a voice jolts you from your spiralling thoughts, and you snap around, bracing yourself to confront the man you were searching for, but instead, you're taken aback by someone completely different.

he stands before you, hair tousled, strands falling over his light blue eyes. he's wearing a snug black tank top and dark blue overalls, the sleeves casually wrapped around his slim waist, showcasing a patchwork tattooed arm. his hands are smeared with grease and oil, evidence of a long day spent working on cars, and he nonchalantly twirls a wrench around his finger while chewing gum, casualness radiating from him as he stares at you.

"how bad is she?" you dare to ask, your voice trembles slightly, a mix of fear and hope surfacing in your chest.

the corner of his lips twitches slightly at your words before he begins. "she's not doin' too good." your heart sinks, a lump forming in your throat as you brace yourself for what's coming. "for starters, your battery is dead, but there's some damage done to the ignition system too... s'likely that the stater's shot, and the alternator needs replacing too."

you swallow hard, the reality of the situation hits you like a punch in the gut, and the weight of his words settling over you like a heavy fog. "how... how much are we talking?"

"could be a couple hundred for the battery 'n starter, maybe more dependin' on what else i find when i dig deeper," his fingers rhythmically tap against the wrench in his hands, chewing his gum slowly as he admits, "not gonna lie t'you, sweetheart — s'not gonna be cheap."

"fuck," another wave of panic rises within you, tears prickling at the corners of your eyes. you feel so helpless. "i uh, i don't, i.. i can't, i—"

"hey," he says again, his voice steady and soothing as he gets your attention. your watery eyes snap to his when you feel his hand touch your shoulder gently. you don't even care about the grease and oil staining your shirt right now. "take a deep breathe, yeah? in and out. eeeeasy."

you nod quickly, following his instructions, inhaling deeply through your nose and exhaling through your mouth, trying to regain control over the rapid beating of your heart. your skin feels clammy, and your head is fuzzy, but his calm demeanour seems to help anchor you.

"there we go.. that's it," he hums softly, squeezing your arm as he nods in approval. "now, talk t'me. slowly."

"i... i can't afford it," you whisper defeatedly. "i don't have a job right now, i can't. i don't know how i'm going to pay for all this."

he studies you quietly for a moment, his gaze shifting from concern to something more contemplative. "we can figure somethin' out... sellin' the parts might be—"

"no!" you blurt out, shaking your head sharply. the suddenness of your response catches him off guard, his eyebrows raising slightly in surprise at your defiance. "i'm sorry, i... i can't sell it."

he lifts his hand to scratch at his cheek, squinting his eyes as he processes your reaction. "you uh, y'not makin' this easy, sweetheart—"

"i know, but i can't sell it," you insist with a soft sigh. "it means a lot to me.. please? is there another way?"

he studies you again, standing in silence, and you hold his gaze, hoping he'll come up with a solution. you watch as he takes a step closer, lowering his voice as if he's sharing a secret.

"what if.. we work somethin' out?" he suggests. "i'll uh, i'll fix your car for cheap — maybe for nothin' if you do somethin' for me?"

"what are you suggesting?" you ask, curiosity piqued.

he grins, revealing his pearly whites as he chews his gum, shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly as if he hadn't just proposed something so serious and sudden. he doesn't answer you, which makes you prompt the question again, and he keeps the grin on his face as he turns and walks further into the shop, casting a glance over his shoulder at you, a silent invitation to follow him.

[sitp-recs]

Hey do you have any Drarry fic recs which basically have Draco completely changing in 8th year/after the war, like he's dyed his hair and has tattoos and just has become more friendly and changed and Harry basically loses his mind? Kinda tired of the grovelling Draco or animosity fics atp.. Thanks :)

Hi anon! Omg yes, love me confused Harry losing his mind over a changed, hotter and confident Draco. This trope always delivers even when Draco doesn’t go through major physical changes (I love it when he gets extra though 🤌🏼). I have a few recs but they’re all post-Hogwarts, I hope they still work for you!

Enjoy the Silence by @shealwaysreads (M, 3.4k)

Draco stops speaking, gets some tattoos, and discovers that Harry’s happy to be quiet with him.

Under Your Skin by p1013 (E, 4k)

He initials another section and flips the page. Being a junior Auror is a lot more grunt work than he expected, and the paperwork isn't even the worst of it. He's also managed to catch intake duty. It's getting close to 2 AM, there hasn't been a single arrest brought in tonight, and he's still got another six hours before his shift is over. Rubbing a hand over his face, he prays for something, anything, to make the interminable evening better.

The Study of Change by p1013 (M, 4.3k)

Harry's going to hell. He's going to hell immediately. Even with all of the good he's done in his life, he's never going to overcome the impure thoughts racing through his head at the sight of Draco Malfoy looking like an academic wet dream in a room full of barely legal adults.

Starstruck by phrynne (E, 4.5k)

Yeah, Malfoy has pink hair. Or sort of. Half of his hair is shaved short and dyed an aggressive pink. The other half is still white-blond, a strand falling over his right eye, only the left side of his face visible at all times. He turns it slightly and spots me beyond the moving bodies. He doesn’t stop dancing, a smile plays on his lips. This time I don’t look away like I used to when all this began.

Sex on Legs in Six-Inch Heels by @tessacrowley (E, 9.6k)

Draco Malfoy is a brilliant freelance cursebreaker and the only one who can help the Department of Magical Law Enforcement with a very dangerous case, but more importantly, he's wearing six-inch heels, and Harry cannot handle it, he really just can't.

Dream by the Fire by GallifreyisBurning (M, 11k)

When Draco Malfoy resurfaces in England after eight years abroad—tattooed, pierced, and wanting to take over a corner of Harry's coffee shop to work on a writing project—Harry can't help but be intrigued. Where has he been? What is he working on? Why here? And why does he have to look so stupidly hot with all those tattoos?

Cold Like Fire by QueenofThyme (M, 12k)

Head Auror Harry Potter had no problem with mandatory consent training for his team. He’d actually been looking forward to it, that is, until he discovered who the teacher was. Now, he had no idea how he was going to get through the training without throwing a hex at Draco Malfoy. Or a punch.

In the Shape of Things to Come by @academicdisasterfic (E, 15k)

Existential angst and chronic boredom are plaguing Harry Potter in his cushy post-war life. However, a chance encounter with a tattooed, pierced, disgruntled Draco Malfoy in the middle of Muggle Camden seems to spark something in Harry again—and he never could stay away from Malfoy.

We Might Be Too Old for a Bildungsroman by @wellhalesbells (T, 21k)

Harry finds something he’s been looking for since the war’s end. Admittedly, the packaging’s a bit odder than he expected.

Ink (My Skin With Your Name) by Kandakicksass (M, 22k)

Several years after the war, an ostracized Draco Malfoy covers himself in tattoos, becomes best friends with a muggle, and debates abandoning magical society entirely to work in a tattoo shop. All in all, he's having a hell of a time trying to figure out who he is and what he wants to do with his life. The last thing he needs is to run into Harry Potter, who seems intent on becoming his friend, even if he has to get a lot of ink to do it.

All Bets Are Off by dualwieldteacup (M, 31k)

Harry Potter's latest security assignment brings him to Las Vegas for the International Wizarding Casino World Series. At a magic underwater hotel, he is tasked with guarding the legendary and mysterious gambler known as Snake Eyes. The stakes are high when both Galleons and emotions are involved. Not to mention peacock pool floats, secret pizza, and most importantly of all, second chances.

[lesgetittkookie]

redamancy - jjk (part iii)

⤖ genre: fluff, future smut, angst, gardener!jeongguk x rich!reader, okay but jeongguk isn't really a gardener like that but you'll see, kinda slow burn but not really

⤖ pairing: jeongguk x female reader

⤖ rating: 18+

⤖word count: approx. 14.1 k words

⤖ chapter warnings: explicit language, angst

summary: jeongguk is just a normal dude with a simple routine. wake up, go to the gym, work his job as a waiter at this posh upscale restaurant in the heart of gangnam before coming home to a night full of video games and ramen (it's delicious and cheap). that routine gets disrupted when he accidentally taps the back of an expensive sports car of one of the richest men in south korea. considering he's broke, he couldn't afford to pay for the damages so the man makes a deal with him by offering him to work at his house as one of the gardeners. jeongguk takes it but wasn't prepared to meet this beautiful young woman who's constantly lounging by the pool, you, the rich man's daughter.

author's note: hi hi hi pls don't kill me yall. i know it's been MONTHS since i last posted. there were many life changing events that occurred in my life and it really held me back from ever completing part 3. i had half of it written in august but it was left abandoned for a while because of my college semester. i also lost motivation to write for so long too. im gonna be honest, i hate this chapter. no matter what i wrote, i was not happy with it at all and im still not. but i didn't wanna keep you guys waiting. the only thing i ask from you is that if you can really give me feedback and thoughts on the chapter, it would be really helpful. seeing you guys enjoy it keeps me motivated to continue writing, the more motivated i am, the sooner i can post future parts. im on summer break so i would really like to finish this story if possible. pls don't be a silent reader. i hope you guys like this chapter. xx M.

taglist:@janedukiesworld@rjsmochii@mwitsmejk@jjeonjjk7@whoa-jo @linda-botello @dewamused @tearsdntfall617 @taehyungseggs @thoudailydeets @hobiiihope @miss-jupiter @petalsofink @imjustreadingig @guksunshine @iheartsvt @rainnyrh @axniyx @kookies-n-spice @carolsummerlove @rievjjks @dopedreamfireparty @

“You’re going to what?” Jeongguk asks, almost dropping the garden snippers on his foot. 

Dohyun jumps a little at the older man’s loud voice, almost dropping the flower bouquet. He dusts off his white button-up, fixing the collar. 

“I’m going to ask Y/N on a date,” He reiterates proudly. “I got her these chocolates from that fancy chocolate store,” He holds up the white box wrapped in a baby pink bow. “And some roses from my aunt’s flower shop.” His other hand props up the bouquet, plastic rustling when he shakes it. 

No way. There’s no way he’s actually going to ask you. Not when you literally just said last night that you don’t have any form of feelings for Dohyun. But you also did mention that you wouldn’t have the heart to turn him down, not wanting to see him hurt. 

God, why did you have to be so nice? Are you actually going to accept the date when Dohyun asks you? 

He looks at Dohyun who seems to be in a daze, probably daydreaming about you and him together. He shivers at the thought of you kissing Dohyun on the corner of his mouth as you did with Jeongguk last night. 

Gross. 

There’s no way you’re going on that date with Dohyun. Not when you’ve made it clear that you’re interested in Jeongguk. If that kiss didn’t mean anything last night, he’d be quite upset. 

“Uh…I don’t know if that’s…a good idea,” Jeongguk replies, voice honeyed. He’d be damned if he lets Dohyun ask you out first. 

The excited smile begins to fade, forming a firm line. He looks at Jeongguk in confusion, “Why?” He asks. 

Fuck, what can he say? There’s no excuse coming to mind. 

“Listen, dude,” Jeongguk walks up to Dohyun, putting his arm around the younger man’s shoulder. “Girls like Y/N, they’re not interested in guys like us.” 

Is he gonna go to hell for lying like this? 

“Guys like…us?” Dohyun questions, looking up at Jeongguk with a clueless pout. 

Jeongguk nods, pretending to look sullen, “Yeah, I mean look at us, we’re just a bunch of commoners,” Something you’ve made very apparent that you don’t care about. “Y/N’s family…they’re rich. She’s probably into guys who own sports cars and Rolex watches.” Lies. You’ve mentioned how you couldn’t stand materialistic guys. 

“So what you’re saying is…” Dohyun stares at the grass thoughtfully, “That I need to have nice and expensive things.” Jeongguk nods in response. 

Yeah, he’s definitely going to hell. 

“B-But I made reservations at that expensive French restaurant,” He tells Jeongguk, looking a little sad. 

Lame. Going to a fancy wine-and-dine restaurant for a date would not impress you, he thinks. You already seem to be sick of your high-class lifestyle. The last thing you would want is to be sitting in a place surrounded by other rich folks.

If it were up to Jeongguk, he would’ve taken you to his favorite street vendor for some tteokbokki and then to the arcade to play games. He thinks you’d enjoy that more. 

“It’s okay man. That wouldn’t have been enough,” Jeongguk shakes his head, putting a hand on the other’s shoulder in a comforting manner,  “She probably would’ve ordered the most expensive wine on the menu.” 

Dohyun’s bottom lip quivers and a look of despair etched onto his face. “I would’ve paid for it.” 

Jeongguk raises an eyebrow, “You could afford that?” 

Dohyun shrugs, “I made a deal with the manager to pay in installments.” Geez, he really had it all planned out. 

“I don’t think she’s worth it, dude,” Jeongguk’s voice is laced with fake sorrow. He hopes you never find out that he’s saying this shit because he does not mean a single damn thing he just told Dohyun. 

“I mean I guess you’re right,” Dohyun looks down at the flower bouquet with a dejected look on his face. “She’s just always been so nice to me so I thought there might’ve been something there.” 

You are a nice person. So nice that it shook Jeongguk to the core. There wasn’t a single bad body in your body it seems. You would never have any ill intentions towards anyone. He’s witnessed it firsthand. You’re damn considerate of others that you were afraid of facing the day Dohyun confessed to you because you didn’t have it in you to turn him down and witness his heartbreak.

If anything, Jeongguk is doing both you and Dohyun a favor. 

“I hear you, buddy,” Jeongguk clasps his hand against Dohyun’s back, making the younger man wince a little. “Guys like us never get the girl.” 

Except for Jeongguk. He thinks he might have a chance.

Too arrogant? 

“I guess I’ll just cancel the reservation,” Dohyun states in melancholy, and Jeongguk immediately nods.

Yes, cancel the reservation. Please. Cancel so Jeongguk can ask you out on a date instead. 

“Well I’m going to go put this stuff back,” Jeongguk tells him, putting the tools away in the bucket. He’s also hoping to catch you sitting outside again. He wonders what swimsuit you’re wearing today. 

“I’ll go with you,” Dohyun mumbles, walking alongside Jeongguk. 

God dammit, never mind, he prays you’re not sitting outside. 

The two men are heading towards the back along the concrete pathway, stopping in front of the shed. Jeongguk looks over at the sunbed where you’re usually sitting but fortunately, you’re not there. His shoulders relax at that and he lets out a sigh of relief. He can’t help but look over at Dohyun, only to see him already staring at the sunbed as well with a gloomy look on his face. 

“Come on, help me put these tools where they need to go,” Jeongguk suggests in an attempt to distract the younger man. He’s not going to lie, he does feel a little guilty for lying like this to him. 

Jeongguk is never the type to really feel guilty which is why his Jin Hyung calls him a dickhead sometimes. But right now, he can feel it just a tad bit. 

Dohyun glances over at the sunbed one last time before hesitantly following Jeongguk inside, placing the bouquet and box of chocolates onto the wooden table. He takes out the tools one by one, placing them onto the hooks. Jeongguk just watches the other, noticing how his frown isn’t going away, eyebrows furrowed. 

Once the tools are placed in their respective places, the two of them head back outside. Dohyun leaves first and Jeongguk follows behind only to bump into the other male’s back when he pauses in his footsteps. He clicks his tongue, looking up at Dohyun only to find him staring longingly at something a few feet away. 

Oh god, please don’t let it be. 

He turns his head and there you are, walking outside of the house in your swimming attire. There’s a book in your hand as per usual and it sounds like you’re humming to a certain tune, earbuds on. 

Jeongguk finds himself panicking, ready to steer Dohyun away from the back but it’s too late. 

“You know what, I’m still gonna tell her,” Dohyun says determinedly. “I’m still gonna ask her out on that date.” He’s got to be joking. “I’m gonna ask her out on that date and then tell her I’ve been in love with her since we were kids.”  Before Jeongguk could respond, Dohyun is already striding over to you, chocolate and flowers in hand. 

This is not going to end well. 

+

It’s a beautiful day out, you think. The sky is a bright blue, the sun is out and shining high, the garden is looking colorful and vibrant with the newly planted flowers and there’s a nice breeze blowing through the air. You have a smile on your face as you think about all the things that happened yesterday. 

The way Jeongguk kept making you laugh obnoxiously and smile like a fool. He’s unintentionally funny because he’s so honest and blunt. He wouldn’t even try hard to make you laugh, he would just say something casually and actually be serious about it when you think he’s joking. You hope that you can see him again outside of your house soon. 

You haven’t seen him yet and you’re hoping he hasn’t left yet. At least not without saying bye to you. Not that he has to but it be nice if he did. 

You’re listening to music when you walk outside of the house into the backyard, book in hand, ready to begin your reading for the day. You plan to read just for a little bit, drinking a glass of red wine while you wait for Jeongguk to come to the back. 

Luckily, your mother isn’t home, having gone to her company’s building after finding out about some setbacks with the clothing material for her latest fashion line. You have no idea what it was exactly but she was definitely stressed out about it. 

Plopping down onto the lounger, you open your book to the page you bookmarked before picking up your wine glass to take a sip. Before you can bring the glass up to your lips, you hear your name being called by a ringing voice. 

You flinch, almost spilling the wine on your thigh, and look up to see Dohyun striding towards you, a look of determination on his face. In his hands, he’s holding a bouquet of roses and a box of chocolates. 

Oh god. You were afraid of when this day would come. 

You set down the glass on the circular glass table beside you, closing the book as well. Mustering up your best (fake) smile, you greet him, “Hey,” You clear your throat, “Um you look nice.” 

The compliment immediately brings a bashful smile to his face as he looks down at the ground before looking at you once again. “Thank you,” He responds. 

“Mhm,” You clear your throat, awkwardly looking away. 

God, you were nervous. You already told Jeongguk you were never prepared for the moment when Dohyun was going to ask you out. You always hoped for him to eventually lose feelings and let you go. However, here he is, standing in front of you dressed in nice clothes while holding a flower bouquet. 

You felt like you were going to be sick.

“So I uh,” Dohyun lets out a deep breath. “I was wondering if you would,” No please no. “Sorry,” He shakes his head at himself. “I had a whole speech prepared but now I can’t seem to remember anything,” He tells you and a fake laugh escapes your lips. 

If he can just get nervous and maybe back out…

“Iwaswonderingifyoudliketogoonadatewithme,” He says it so fast that you almost miss it but you knew exactly what he just asked you. 

Your throat feels tight, eyes just staring at him in surprise. What do you say? How can you tell him no? Not when he’s staring at you with those hopeful eyes, hands clutching the bouquet and chocolates. 

How can you go on a date with someone else when you have a crush on Jeongguk? A major crush. Though you don’t know him very well, you know enough to like him. A lot. But maybe he doesn’t like you. He’s still a mystery to you. He’s made it clear that he finds you attractive but what if to him this is just some sort of little game to him? 

After all, he is only working here temporarily. He could just be trying to get into your pants and then disappear right after he gets what he wants. You don’t know. He genuinely seemed interested in having a conversation with you last night but at the same time, it could just be an act. 

“Um Y/N?” Dohyun’s call of your name causes you to snap out of your doubtful thoughts and look up at him. 

“Yes?” You say in surprise. 

“Wait, that's a yes?” An excited smile grows on his face. 

Oh fuck. That’s not what you meant. The smile on his face…how can you say no now? 

Letting out a regretful sigh, you gather a fake smile on your face. “Yes,” You can’t believe you’re doing this. “I’ll go on a date with you.” With those words leaving your lips, your eyes immediately snap to Jeongguk who you didn’t realize was standing a few feet away from you both. 

The look on his face causes your heart to drop into your stomach. 

Did he just witness you say yes to the date? 

Your eyes don’t look away from him, a guilty expression on your face as you stare at his now blank face. It went from surprise to blank in a matter of seconds, a way of showing you that he looks unbothered by what just happened. 

Maybe he is unbothered by it. 

If he isn’t, then he’s doing a great job at not showing it. 

You didn’t mean to say yes. In fact, you were ready to say no. But with the excited look on his face, you don’t have it in you to take it away. You just have to come clean later. You can’t get this far. 

Not when you know you can’t reciprocate your feelings for the man. 

“I’m so glad you said yes!” His smile is vibrant and it looks like he can’t contain his excitement, bouncing on his tiptoes. 

With a tight-lipped smile, you accept the bouquet of red roses he hands you along with the chocolates. Your eyes glance behind him again towards where Jeongguk is standing. He gives you a thumbs-up and a pursed-lip smile before heading towards the gate. 

You open your mouth to say something but Dohyun speaks before any words can escape you, your attention turning back towards him again. 

“So I can pick you up on Friday? How does 7 sound?” He asks you, voice sounding thrilled. 

The more you hear him speak, the worse you feel. There’s no backing out of this now. Jeongguk left without saying anything which causes you to question how he might’ve felt. Maybe he did like you back. Or maybe he just doesn’t care. 

Again, you don’t know. 

The overwhelming feeling of all kinds of emotions fills you and you just wish to disappear but instead, you just give Dohyun another fake smile and say, “Sounds good.” 

“Great!” He grins. “I’ll see you Friday!” He says before turning on his feet and leaving. You watch him walk towards the gate, no longer containing his excitement when you hear him whisper yes yes yes. 

“Jeongguk! Wait up!” You hear Dohyun shout, eagerness, and enthusiasm loud in his tone. 

You wince, looking towards the gate in hopes of catching a glimpse of Jeongguk but you fail to see him at all. He didn’t bother to come to the back and say. But you can probably understand why. You let out a sad sigh, holding up the bouquet of flowers in your hand and staring at them. 

Just one date. You just have to get through this one date. 

+ 

Friday evening 

The feeling of dread swirls in your stomach as you stare into the mirror with your hair and face ready for the date you’re about to go on. You’re not looking forward to it at all. Ever since you woke up this morning, you thought about coming up with some sort of excuse to back out of the date. Maybe lie and say you have the stomach flu or something. 

Then again, if you lie, you would just be postponing the date because you have a feeling he would reschedule it for another day. So you thought to yourself that it would be better to get it over with. 

Your plan is to go on the date, eat and then tell him that you don’t have any feelings for him. You know that if you lead him on further, it will end with a more painful heartbreak for him.

You’re also bummed because, for the remainder of the week, you did not see Jeongguk at all. Even when you sat down at the pool all day, constantly looking over at the door in hopes of catching sight of him, he didn’t come towards the back. 

Instead of Jeongguk coming to the shed to drop off the tools, it would either be some other gardener or sometimes even Dohyun who, of course, would wave at you excitedly and remind you about the time of your date on Friday. 

You think he might be disappointed in you and doesn’t want to see you. Or maybe he backed off because he probably thinks you’re giving Dohyun a chance when you’re not. 

You just fucked up by saying yes. 

After telling Dohyun that you don’t have feelings for him, you’re determined to tell Jeongguk you like him when you see him on Monday. And if he doesn’t like you back? 

Well then you’re just going to hide in your room in embarrassment until he finishes working his last few days at your estate

You’re wearing a black long-sleeved dress that has a square-shaped neckline and slightly ruffled sleeves. It reaches below your knees, a slit on the left side, revealing the skin up to your midthigh. You left your hair open in soft curls and your makeup is done minimally. 

You’re putting on your dangly earring when you hear your phone vibrate on the vanity. The screen lights up with a text from Dohyun telling you he’s out front waiting for you. You exhale deeply, attempting to calm yourself down, feeling slightly sick in the stomach. 

Just two hours. You just have to endure this date for two hours. 

Fixing the loose strand of hair in your face, you look into the mirror one last time before grabbing your clutch and walking out of the bedroom and down the spiral steps. You nod your head at one of the maids on your way out, giving her a polite smile. 

When you walk outside of your house, you see Dohyun waiting in front of the gate with another bouquet of flowers. He cleaned himself nicely, wearing a white button-up under a black blazer with matching pants. His hair is pushed back and he’s not wearing those glasses again. 

With an elated grin, he gives you a bow which you return before grabbing the flowers he holds out and muttering a small ‘thanks’ in response. 

He nods, seeming proud of himself before he holds out his hand which you hesitantly take. He walks you to his car, a red Toyota Corolla, opening the door for you politely. 

Your mind can’t help but wonder when you went out with Jeongguk that night at the bar and he told you that chivalry was dead so he wouldn’t open the door for you. You can’t help but smile at the memory, shaking your head. 

Once you’re sitting down in the car, bouquet in your lap along with your clutch, he gently closes the door before jogging towards the driver's side to sit down. His face is beaming when he starts the car again, the sound of a girl group song immediately playing on the Bluetooth loudly, causing you to wince at the volume. 

He looks panicked, cheeks and ears red as he quickly turns down the volume dial on the knob and mumbles a shy ‘sorry. You give him a reassuring smile before looking out of the window.

The car begins moving, an awkward silence immediately filling the air since neither of you say a single word. Dohyun is the first to break it, clearing his throat before speaking. 

“So how was your day?” He asks, attempting to make conversation. 

You shrug, watching outside as he drives out of your neighborhood towards the city. “It was okay. Didn’t really do much.” 

Other than hoping and praying for the date to be canceled one way or another. 

He nods, tapping his index fingers against the steering wheel as he says, “Cool cool. I didn’t do much either.” You nod, listening. “Well actually, I started this new Korean drama. It’s about this guy who…” 

He rambles about the drama, beginning from the first episode and providing you with details on how it all started, and for almost the majority of the car ride, he’s giving you a rundown on how each episode goes down one by one along with his personal opinions. You just nod and add in a few words to make yourself sound interested when really, all you wanted to do was open the car door and roll down the street. 

Unable to help yourself, your mind drifts to the time you were with Jeongguk and how you two talked about the most random things. He would tell you crazy stories about the things he’s done with his friends, always having something ridiculous to say which would make you laugh a crazy amount. 

Again, Jeongguk is blunt and careless about what he says and who he says it to. He never held back from telling you things that might sound absurd to others. 

For this one time when he and his six other friends had a competition on who can eat the most gamja hot dogs at a carnival before they all went on one of those spinning rides and ended up vomiting while the ride was still going. The whole ride had to immediately shut down and people who were waiting in line were not happy and covered in their puke. 

To make the night even worse, his friend Jin almost fought a little kid over the last alpaca plushie at one of the games and it resulted in them being kicked out of the carnival. 

The whole time he had told you that story, he had a smile on his face at the memories and you remember being enraptured by how beautiful he looked with his bunny teeth on display, the small mole beneath his rose-colored lips visible; the hand gestures he’d make to animate the story. 

You don’t realize you’re smiling again until Dohyun calls for your name, causing you to flinch in surprise. 

“Yeah?” You ask, smile dropping and you look at him questioningly. 

“I was um asking what you thought about it?” He wonders, glancing at you before looking back at the road. 

Fuck, what did he ask about? 

“I’m sorry,” You shake your head. “Can you repeat the question?” You look at him apologetically, mentally cursing at yourself for being distracted by Jeongguk again. 

Dohyun clears his throat, “I was asking what your thoughts were on the show so far.” 

Oh right, the show. The one you didn’t listen to a single thing about. God, you don’t know what to say. 

Think, Y/N, think. 

“It sounds…” You’re looking for the right word. “Like there’s a lot going on.” You slightly wince at that, hoping he doesn’t notice. 

Dohyun looks a bit confused, pursing his lips in thought before saying, “Really? I don’t know. I honestly think it’s quite boring. There’s no good drama going on with the characters.” He says and you nod. 

“Honestly you’re right,” You quickly add. “I don’t know what I was thinking,” You let out a fake chuckle. “It needs to be more dramatic.” 

You have no fucking clue what you’re saying. 

Seeming to be satisfied with the answer, he nods with a smile before moving on to a different topic. 

For the rest of the car ride, you try really hard to give him your full attention when he talks, chipping in on things when appropriate up until you guys reach the restaurant. You let out a slightly annoyed sigh under your breath when the restaurant comes into view. 

Pierre Gagnaire à Séoul. 

The French restaurant your mother absolutely loves meanwhile you hate. The food is not bad but it’s not to your taste. You’re also not a fan of the environment, surrounded by all the posh and stuck-up rich people. 

The restaurant has valet parking as well so when you guys pull up to the front, Dohyun quickly opens the door and runs to your side so he can open your own door for you, holding his hand out for you to take. 

You try not to think about how Jeongguk would probably tell you to open the door yourself because he wouldn’t do it for you. 

He hands his keys over to the valet before you both head inside, his hand holding yours. You try not to squirm when he tries to intertwine your fingers, letting out a breath to try and relax. 

He opens the door for you, allowing you to go in first and you give him a thank you before walking inside first, internally grateful that your hands are no longer clasped together.

The aromatic smell of the food immediately hits your nose. The sound of chatter fills your ears along with the utensils hitting against the plates. The sight you see with your eyes is one you are used to. Wealthy people dressed to the nines in their extravagant dresses and suits, sipping on expensive wine. 

“Good evening,” The hostess at the front greets with a practiced smile. “Reservation?” 

Dohyun nods excitedly, “Dohyun at 7:30.” He tells her and she nods, looking at the screen before grabbing two menus from beside her and nudging her head towards the tables. 

“Follow me please,” She says, Dohyun letting you go first before he follows behind you. You walk past other people, avoiding making eye contact with anyone you know. 

This restaurant is where all of the affluent people go, friends of your family that your parents are close to. You wouldn’t be surprised if you saw any of them here though you’d much rather not which is why you just stare at the hostess’ back as she guides you both towards your table. 

Dohyun pulls the chair back for you as soon as you reach the table before he sits himself down. The hostess places the menus down on the table before saying, “Your waiter should be here shortly.” And with that, she leaves. 

“I’ve never been here before so I’m excited,” Dohyun says, flipping through the menu with stars in his eyes.

You shrug, pretending to look through the menu though not really because you already know what you’re going to choose. “I’ve been a few times,” You inform him. 

“Oh,” He looks at you. “Do you like it?” He looks nervous when he waits for your response. 

You give him a pursed-lip smile and say, “Yeah,” You lie. “I like it.” 

He grins, seeming satisfied with the answer before looking at the menu again. You look down at your own menu again in order to distract yourself, waiting for him to decide what he wants to eat. 

“Good evening, my name is Jeongguk and I’ll be your waiter this evening.” As soon as you hear that husky yet gentle voice, your head snaps up to the person and the menu drops onto the table out of surprise. 

And there he is, standing in front of you wearing black slacks that accentuate his strong thighs while he wears a white button-up that hugs his chest. The sleeves are pulled up a bit, his inked arms slightly peaking out. His dark hair is pushed back to reveal his eyebrow piercing and strong brows, a single loose strand slightly falling forward on his forehead. 

His large doe brown eyes meet yours, shock evident on his face as he stares right back at you.  

“Holy shoot Jeongguk!” Dohyun sounds just as surprised as you look before a large smile overtakes his face. 

+

Jeongguk had no fucking idea that this was the fancy wine and dine restaurant Dohyun was going to take you to for the date.

The whole week Dohyun wouldn’t shut up about it and he didn’t bother asking the younger man which restaurant it was. He wasn’t interested in knowing because quite frankly, he tried not to care. 

To say that he was disappointed when you said yes to Dohyun would be an understatement. He knew you were too nice and didn’t want to hurt the guy but he really thought you’d muster up the courage to turn him down. 

Instead, he watched you say yes and take the flowers and chocolates from Dohyun with that pretty smile on your face. 

Now Jeongguk usually isn’t the type to get jealous. But that’s usually because there’s no one he’s really been interested in. Sure, he’s had a few girlfriends here and there but the relationships don’t last long enough because the girl either ends up batshit crazy or he just couldn’t return the same feelings. 

But seeing Dohyun all excited and happy about taking you out on a date would just piss him off. He wanted to be the one to take you out. He thinks his plan would’ve been more solid and fun. Taking you out to the arcade before eating at his favorite fried chicken spot with beer.

Jeongguk can’t deny that he holds these strong feelings of infatuation towards you. You interest him because you’re different. Sure, it might sound like those typical cliche things but he’s speaking the truth. You’re intelligent, funny, and so fucking kind to others. Let’s not also forget how immensely beautiful you are. 

Yeah, he’s got a gigantic crush on you. 

Too bad he’s standing in front of you as your waiter and not as the date sitting across from you. He can’t seem to take his eyes off of you right now. Taking in your wide eyes and slightly ajar mouth, he tries not to act just as surprised by keeping a blank stare. 

“Oh wow, didn’t expect to see you guys here,” Jeongguk says, voice flat and void of any emotion. 

Before you can say anything, Dohyun says, “Jeongguk, I didn't know you worked here!” Jeongguk tries not to wince at Dohyun’s loud enthusiastic voice. 

“Yeah,” Jeongguk clears his throat, giving his full attention to Dohyun so he doesn’t stare at you. “Usually the evening shifts now since you know…I work at the other place.” He informs him. 

Dohyun nods, “Cool cool.” He looks across at you. “Isn’t it funny how Jeongguk is our waiter, Y/N?” 

Jeongguk looks at you who’s just looking at Dohyun before glancing at him, “Yeah, it’s pretty crazy.” Your voice is shy of speaking and he thinks it's because of him. He holds eye contact with you, taking in the small pout on your glossy lips. There’s a certain emotion in your eye, almost looking apologetic but Jeongguk tries to brush it off. 

“Anyways, what would you guys like to start off with? Something to drink maybe?” Jeongguk asks, pulling out a pen and his notepad. 

Don’t fucking look at Y/N, Jeongguk. 

Dohyun looks at you first with a questioning gaze, “Y/N?” 

You clear your throat as you shut the menu, “I’ll just have water.” Jeongguk nods before looking at Dohyun. 

“I’ll also have water,” The younger man smiles at Y/N. 

Why the fuck is this guy always smiling? Jeongguk wonders. 

And why the fuck are they both just ordering water? If Jeongguk were you, he’d be ordering the overpriced wines for the hell of it. Maybe just maybe…he can make this date a bit more entertaining for himself. 

Jeongguk stands straighter and then looks at Dohyun, “Are you sure you guys don’t want to try the red wine? It’s Pinot Noir. A classic.” 

Dohyun’s eyes widen for a second before they glance at you and then back to Jeongguk. Jeongguk looks at Dohyun and secretly winks, almost as a way of communicating to the younger man that this is going to impress you.

Jeongguk knows it won’t but he’s bored and sad. Sue him. 

Dohyun nods rapidly and says, “We’ll have some of that as well.” 

Before Jeongguk can say anything, you cut in by saying, “Are you sure about that? It’s quite expensive, Dohyun.” You’re looking at him in concern, pointing a manicured nail at the price of the wine on the menu. 

Dohyun just shakes his head and tries to wave it off, “Don’t worry, Y/N. I can afford it. Order whatever you want.” 

You purse your lips, not saying anything else. Your eyes shift to Jeongguk slightly squinting at him almost in suspicion but he just shrugs, turning around to walk away. 

Is Jeongguk going to look like an asshole for trying to sabotage this date? Probably. Does he care? Not really. He’s trying to save your ass before Dohyun confesses to you. He needs to make sure that doesn’t happen otherwise you’re going to end up lying and telling the man that you like him back when Jeongguk knows damn well you don’t.

Though Jeongguk only really hung out with you once, he knows enough to say that you will feel extremely guilty for hurting someone else’s feelings. You’ve proven that just by going on this date with Dohyun regardless of the fact that you don’t hold any feelings for the guy. You just didn’t want to turn him down because you knew he’d be heartbroken. 

Jeongguk is not going to let you accept Dohyun’s confession. Not when Jeongguk likes you and you like him. At least he thinks you like him because if that kiss on the corner of his mouth didn’t mean anything he doesn’t know what the fuck that meant. 

Surely you weren’t leading him on. Or maybe that’s how you say goodbye to your friends? 

Wait, but then again you don’t have friends. 

This shit is going to give Jeongguk a headache. By the end of this date, if it doesn’t turn into a complete disaster, Jeongguk is going to stop being a pussy and say something. He doesn’t exactly know what yet. But something. 

Pouring the wine into the fancy glasses, he puts them on a tray and brings them back out to the table. The first thing he sees when he heads towards your table is your smiling face looking directly at Dohyun. 

Hell no. 

“Here’s your water,” Jeongguk places down each glass one by one. “And your wine,” He carefully puts down yours, making direct eye contact with you as he does. He notices you gulp and he tries to hold back a smile. When he’s setting Dohyun’s glass on the table, his finger accidentally knocks over the glass, causing it to tip over onto the table and a little bit on Dohyun’s slacks. 

Okay, that one wasn’t planned, Jeongguk swears. 

Dohyun gasps out of surprise, standing up with his pants slightly soaked in the wine. Meanwhile, you’re just staring with your hand covering your mouth, eyes wide. Jeongguk quickly acts shocked as well. 

“I am so sorry,” He picks up the white cloth napkin and attempts to dab it on Dohyun’s pants at the front. “I’m really sorry. I don’t know how that fell over.” He pretends to wince, facial expression feigning guilt. 

Some of the people at the surrounding tables are watching, talking amongst themselves as they stare at what just happened. It’s like they’re expecting Dohyun to lash out at Jeongguk or something but instead, he says, “Hey it’s okay. It was an accident.” He grabs the cloth from the Jeongguk, patting the pants himself.

This guy is so damn nice, Jeongguk hates it. Why is he so damn nice? 

“You sure you don’t want to go clean up?” Jeongguk hears you ask, watching the whole scene in concern. 

“No no,” Dohyun shakes his head and waves off. “It’s alright. At least I’m wearing black pants so it’s not that noticeable.” He laughs and you just nod in response. 

“I’ll get you another glass,” Jeongguk speaks, turning around to get him another glass. Once he returns with a new one, he carefully places it on the table. 

“Alright, so did you guys decide what you want to eat?” Jeongguk clasps his hands together, looking between the two, gaze lingering on you. 

Look away, Jeongguk. Look. Away. 

“Hm, I’m having a hard time deciding actually,” Dohyun pouts, brows furrowed as he studies the menu. “Do you have any recommendations?” 

Boy, Jeongguk sure does. 

Clearing his throat, he slightly cranes his neck to look over at the menu and points at one item in particular, “I recommend this filet mignon. Everyone loves it.” And it’s fucking expensive as fuck. 

Jeongguk hears you add to the conversation, “It’s almost 150,000 won…” You’re staring at him in ridicule, mouth parted and eyes wide. 

If there’s anything Jeongguk has learned about you, it’s that you’re not dumb. In fact, you are very fucking intelligent and he’s pretty sure you can see right through his actions. But for some reason, that doesn’t stop Jeongguk. Maybe he wants to have a bit of fun with this. In his defense, he’s trying to help you. 

“Don’t worry about the price, Y/N. I can afford it,” Dohyun acts nonchalantly, looking up at Jeongguk and confidently saying, “I’ll have that.” He then looks at you. “Y/N?” 

You let out a defeated sigh, closing the menu, “I’ll just have the risotto carnaroli de coquillages.” The way you say it so eloquently in French almost makes Jeongguk's dick hard. God, it sounded so hot. 

How much more attractive and interesting can you get? 

And also, where the fuck did you learn to speak perfect French?

It seems as though Jeongguk isn’t the only one affected by your French speaking because when he looks at Dohyun, the younger man is just staring at you with parted lips and stars in his eyes as if you’re the greatest thing he’s ever seen. 

You’re so damn nice that you ended up choosing the cheapest entree on the menu. You were just way too damn considerate. There goes that rich girl persona he was trying to paint to Dohyun. 

Trying not to physically drool, Jeongguk looks away and nods, “Got it.” He walks always so fast, almost bumping into another waiter on his way. 

+

You have a feeling that Jeongguk is trying to fuck up the date you’re on with Dohyun. You can see right through him. Having the poor guy choose expensive menu items so he can impress you when Jeongguk knows damn well you’re not about it. 

At least this can kind of confirm that he was affected by the whole date thing. That answers some questions but not all. 

Also, can you just say that Jeongguk looks fine as fuck in his uniform? 

If you had known that he works here as a waiter, you would’ve definitely joined your mother for the sake of seeing him. The sight of him wearing that tight-fitted button-up with those slacks hugging his ass almost had you drooling. 

You tried so hard not to just dead-on stare at him the whole time while he was standing right in front of you. You just couldn’t help yourself at times, eyes trailing down from his perfectly structured face to his chest and down to his tattooed covered hands and forearms that were peaking out from beneath his shirt sleeve. 

Your mind was steering away to some…unholy thoughts. Especially because of those damn thighs. 

Why did he have to be so damn hot? 

Okay, you’re getting a little too carried away right now. You need to focus. Focus on Dohyun. The man you came on a date with. You have to try and at least make some sort of conversation with him. He’s always asking you for your opinion and thoughts on what he’s saying but you end up stuttering your way through the conversation since you have no idea what he’s asking you about when you’re not listening. 

Jeongguk being here as your damn waiter does not help the situation at all. Although you think he’s trying to help you in a somewhat cruel way you need to get him to stop. You’re beginning to feel guilty as fuck when you see the man do something that is the total opposite of impressing you. 

“Um Y/N?” You’re snapped out of your thoughts when you hear Dohyun calling your name. 

“Yes? Sorry,” You apologize, feeling bad for being distracted again. 

Dohyun shakes his head, a small smile on his face, “No worries. I just wanted to talk to you about something.” 

Your heart races at that and you gulp, beginning to feel a little worried at what exactly he wants to say. No no, you didn’t think it be this soon. You need to tell him before he tells you. You can’t let him tell you first. 

Before you can say anything more, he continues, “I don’t know if you remember that before you left for college I was going to–” 

“More wine anyone?” Jeongguk cuts in, holding up the bottle and acting oblivious to what he just interrupted. Your shoulders relax in relief and you nod rapidly. 

You really need a fucking drink to get through this. 

“Yes please,” You hold up your glass and he pours it in for you. 

“There you go,” His fingers brush against yours which ensures the glass is in your hand’s grip when you pull it back and you try not to shiver at the tinging feeling and his eyes directly looking into yours.

“Dohyun?” Jeongguk looks at him with a questioning gaze, holding out the bottle but the other just shakes his head in response. 

“I’m good thanks,” He looks eager for Jeongguk to leave right now, knee bouncing in anxiousness. 

“Okay well your food should be here shortly,” Jeongguk says before turning to leave. He looks a bit hesitant to leave, glancing over his shoulder to look at you and you just send him a fake small smile, looking down into your lap. 

What the fuck do you do? 

“As I was saying Y/N, before you left for college I was going to tell you something,” Dohyun’s voice sounds a little shaky when he speaks. “But you had to leave and I never got the chance but for so long I–” 

“Bathroom!” You blurt out, eyes going wide. 

Dohyun looks confused, “Huh?” 

You let out a nervous laugh, “Um I just really need to use the bathroom,” You stand up, grabbing your purse. “Can you give me a few minutes? I really gotta pee.” No, you don’t. You need to go freak the fuck out and possibly climb out of the window. 

“Oh okay,” He nods understandably before flashing you a sweet smile. “I’ll wait.” 

You give him a fake smile in response, pushing into your chair before walking towards the bathroom. You maneuver your way around a few waiters, avoiding eye contact and rushing inside. Luckily no one else is in the bathroom so you just stand in front of the sink, taking a few deep breaths as you stare into the mirror. 

You don’t know how to turn him down. He’s getting so close to telling you about his feelings. You didn’t have the heart to turn him down for the date. What if you can’t reject his feelings for you either? 

If that ends up happening, you’d be absolutely fucked. 

You don’t even fucking see a window in here otherwise you’d escape right there. 

“You okay?” You hear a familiar voice ask, causing you to flinch in surprise, hand resting on your chest. 

“Holy shit,” You exhale. “You scared me.” You look at Jeongguk, wondering how the hell you didn’t hear him enter the bathroom. 

The women’s bathroom might you add. 

“Yeah yeah,” You try to wave off. “I’m fine. What are you doing in here?” You quickly ask, looking away and pretending to look into the mirror and fix your hair. 

“I saw you come in and you didn’t look too good,” He shrugs, hands in his pocket as he leans against the wall. “Just thought I’d check up on you.” 

Your heart swells a little at his concern. You’re in awe at the fact that he cared enough to come to see how you’re doing because he thought something was wrong. God, he’s making you like him more and more. 

“I’m,” You clear your throat, “I’m good.” You’re not. “I think.” You add before letting out a shaky breath. “It’s not every day that someone is about to confess about being in love with you for years.” You let out a humorless chuckle. 

“Well you’re right about that,” Jeongguk says and you look at him with a raised eyebrow. He clicks his tongue against the roof of his mouth. “Sorry, not helping.” 

“Not at all,” You respond, turning around so you can lean your back against the counter of the sink. “Aren’t you going to be in trouble for being here?” 

Jeongguk shrugs, “Not my first time being in the women’s bathroom during a shift,” He smirks and your chest slightly tinges in jealousy at what he’s implying but then he adds, “I once had to help an old lady clean a stain off of her dress.” You relax at that, causing Jeongguk to smirk. 

“What did you think I meant?” He teases and you roll your eyes in response. 

“Was it a wine stain cus’ you sure seem to be quite clumsy for a waiter,” You ask with heavy sarcasm, watching how he pushes himself off the wall. 

“Hey! That was actually an accident,” Jeongguk tries to defend. 

“I’m sure it was,” You remark, arms crossed over your chest. You try not to notice how he’s slowly walking toward you. 

“It was,” He answers before saying, “Look I’m trying to help you out over here.” 

You pout, avoiding eye contact with him by staring down at the pristine tiled floor. “I don’t need help.” 

You’re lying. You really fucking need help. 

Jeongguk lets out a sigh, “Y/N, why’d you say yes to the date if you knew you didn’t like him?” He asks, pierced brow raised in question. 

Unable to meet his eyes, you fiddle with the rings on your fingers and say, “I just felt really bad because he just seemed so excited,” You look up at him, “I just didn’t know how to say no.” 

Jeongguk nods and you notice how he’s standing directly in front of you now. You swallow at the sight of how good he looks in his button-up that shows off his small waist and strong chest. The sleeves are snug around his biceps and the black dress pants accentuate his strong thighs. 

“Yeah but now look,” His hand gestures towards the door to refer to Dohyun. “You said yes to the guy, making him think he has a chance or that you might like him or something.” The guilt weighs down on your chest and you stare down at the floor in shame. 

 Jeongguk is right. You made the mistake of saying yes and it probably made Dohyun hopeful that the feelings he has for you are mutual in return. But that’s not true when the man standing a few inches in front of you is the only one you want. 

Seeing the uniform hug his body in a way that shows off his toned muscles almost has you drooling and you try not to shiver at how his dark eyes give you a once-over. You know you look good with the way your black dress is hugging your body, the slit reaching your midthigh, showing off your smooth skin. His eyes seem to linger on that area in particular and you try not to smile. 

“I just couldn’t say no,” You whine, pouting at the floor with your arms crossing over your chest. 

Jeongguk dips his head a bit, bringing it closer to yours with just a few inches of space in between, and asks, “And why couldn’t you say no?” 

Your eyes can’t help but wander to his rose petal-colored lips that look so soft at the moment. You’re curious to know how the piercing would feel if you were to just kiss him on the mouth. There’s also that cute little mole he has beneath his bottom lip. Swallowing, you look up to find his doe-brown eyes staring at your own lips as well. 

Clearing your throat, you answer, “Because he brought me flowers a-and…” You shyly look away from his intense gaze, cheeks flushing as you look behind him. “And he got those expensive chocolates. I just didn’t know how to say no.” 

“What about me?” Jeongguk inquires, causing you to snap your head to look at him in surprise. 

“What about you?” You raise an eyebrow in question. 

Your heart starts to race when you notice his right hand come up to your face, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear. His fingers lightly brush against your exposed neck, causing you to slightly shiver at his touch. 

If he can just wrap those hands around your throat you don’t think you’d mind at all. 

“What if I brought you flowers and overpriced chocolates and asked you out to dinner?” He asks, eyes watching how you grab his right hand, fingers tracing over the tattoos on his knuckles. 

“I would’ve said yes even if you didn’t bring me flowers or overpriced chocolates,” You tell him truthfully, enjoying the satisfied look on his face. 

“Well,” He looks down at your joined hands before intertwining his fingers with yours. “Good to know I don’t have any competition.” You snort at that, suddenly feeling brave and pull him closer to you. 

You know you shouldn’t be doing this right now. Not when you’re literally on a date with someone who’s been crushing on you since you were kids but you’re in the bathroom with your waiter slash gardener slash friend? Acquaintance? Whatever he is, what you know for sure is that you want to kiss him right in the mouth because he looks too good not to. 

So you do. 

Forgetting about everything else going on, you make the move you’ve been desperately wanting to make since you saw the man standing in front of you. 

You grab the collar of his shirt and tug him down so you can press your lips against his in a lustful kiss. A small noise of surprise leaves his lips but he quickly reacts by putting his hands on your waist and returning the affection.

The feeling of his lips against yours was nothing like you’d ever felt before. They felt almost silk-like and pillowy as they moved against yours in the heated kiss. Sparks ignite, in your chest, buzzing throughout your entire body as his large hands slid up and down your back before moving down toward your hip. He squeezes it softly, causing you to inhale sharply.

His lips move against yours in a soft but sensual manner that has your knees slightly quivering and your heart pounding. You feel breathless when you pull apart for a few seconds with his forehead resting against yours. His right-hand cups your face, thumb playing with your bottom lip.

Jeongguk smirks, “You look good with your lipstick smeared.” You roll your eyes playfully but you can feel the heat in your cheeks at his comment. 

“Shut up,” You pull him until your lower back hits the counter behind you, his hands caging your body against it which causes a rush of excitement to run up your spine. You can’t help but give him a once over, noticing how pink his lips look now, hair slightly unruly from your hands. Jeongguk watches as you bring your hands to his chest, fiddling with the collar before letting them trail down his chest to feel his pecs. 

The muscles feel hard and firm beneath your hand as you trail them down toward his abdomen. When your hands dip a little too low, he quickly snatches your hand and holds it up against his chest, tugging you close by the waist with the other arm. 

“Nuh-uh,” Jeongguk clicks his tongue, “As much as I’m into the idea of fucking you in a public area, you are not about to start this in the fucking bathroom at my job.” Your cheeks flush immediately and you try to shove him away but he hardly moves. 

God, you just wanted to devour him right here. You couldn’t handle the sight in front of you right now. You know this is just his work uniform but you never would’ve thought that he can look this good. You just wanted to get on your knees and… 

“Y/N.” You immediately snap out of your horny thoughts, eyes wide and face warm. Jeongguk has a stupid smirk on his face as if he knows what you’re thinking about right now. 

Despite wanting to tackle him to the ground and have him take you right here, you remember you have a whole date waiting for you outside at the table most likely wondering where you are. 

“What?” You clear your throat, pushing those lustful thoughts aside. 

Jeongguk holds a teasing smile on his face, “Are you dreaming about my dick?” 

“What-no!” You deny, pushing him off and turning towards the mirror to fix your hair. You notice how your lipstick is smeared, courtesy of Jeongguk. You take a tissue and clean it before opening your clutch to pull out the liquid lipstick so you can reapply it. 

You can feel Jeongguk’s eyes on you the whole time as you’re bent over the counter, looking closely in the mirror. You try not to make eye contact, gliding the applicator across your bottom lip. 

Your breath hitches in your throat when you feel his hand slide on your hip but you pretend to like it doesn’t affect you even though your heart rate starts to increase and a feeling of thrill runs up your spine. 

“You were totally dreaming about my dick,” You glare at him through the mirror, elbowing him in the abdomen which causes him to slightly groan. 

“Why would I be thinking about your dick when I’m on a date with someone else right now?” You ask. 

Jeongguk snickers, “You weren’t saying that when you had your tongue down my throat a few minutes ago.” 

Your jaw drops and you turn around, pushing at his shoulder, “I did not have my tongue down your throat.” 

He has that smug smile on his annoyingly handsome face that had you contemplating whether you wanted to smack him or kiss him again. 

“It’s okay, you’re too shy to admit it right now. You’ll get comfortable eventually,” He shrugs, avoiding the little punch you were about to deliver to his chest. He grabs your hand instead and pulls you towards him once again with his tattooed arm around your waist while the other cups your cheek. 

“You’re annoying,” You mumble, playing with the top button on his shirt. You notice ink peeking out from where the shirt is unbuttoned which you somehow haven’t noticed before. 

Can this man get any more attractive? 

“I’d say charming,” Jeongguk responds before asking, “We’ve been here for quite some time now.” 

“You’re the one who followed me,” You retorted. 

“I had to make sure you were okay,” Jeongguk defends, thumb stroking your cheek. “What are you going to do now?” 

You let out a dreaded sigh, letting your hands rest against his chest as you say, “I’m going to have to tell him I’m not interested.” You shake your head. “I shouldn’t have said yes in the first place. It was a mistake from that day but he just had this hopeful smile on his face. I didn’t have it in me to deny him.” 

Jeongguk looks at you with a nonjudgmental gaze, nodding his head. “You can’t let this drag out any longer.” 

“I know,” You agree, thinking about how crushed Dohyun is going to look once you tell him the truth. 

“He’s going to be heartbroken,” Jeongguk adds. 

You pout, “I know.”

“But I’m going to be one happy man.” 

“I know–wait what?” You almost missed what he said and he just chuckles in response. “Why would you be happy?” 

“Cuz then I can ask you out on a date,” Jeongguk says with full confidence, wrapping both arms around your waist and swaying you side to side. 

“And you’re so sure I’d say yes?” You ask, eyebrows raised in question. 

He narrows his eyes at you playfully and says, “With the way you were about to get on your knees I’d like to think–” 

You slap his chest, “God, you’re so annoying! See if I ever give you head now.” 

“I’m kidding,” Jeongguk pouts. “You can’t take away that privilege already. You haven’t even done it yet.” 

Rolling your eyes at his response, your hand plays with the piercing in his right eyebrow. His hands rest on your lower back casually as if you guys have done this a million times. Jeongguk is definitely a touchy person but not in a way that’s made you uncomfortable of course. You’ve enjoyed the feeling of his hands on your body and you wonder what it would feel like on your bare skin. 

You’d definitely like to find that out. 

To say that you’re surprised he’s even talking to you would be an understatement. Especially after the day he saw you accepting Dohyun’s little gifts and proposal to dinner. He had left so abruptly much to your disappointment. And even after that, you didn’t even catch wind of him when working around the garden. 

You really thought you lost your opportunity with him but his actions and words say otherwise. 

“You didn’t answer my question,” Jeongguk’s statement breaks you out of your thoughts. 

“What question?” 

He raises an eyebrow, “If you’d like to go on a date with me.” He runs his thumb over your bottom lip, staring at them as if he wants to just devour them again but he’s restraining himself. 

You didn’t even realize he asked you that question. 

With a snort, you say, “Are you seriously going to ask me this in the bathroom while my actual date is waiting for me outside?”

Jeongguk rolls his eyes at you, “I’m sorry would you like me to shower you with flowers and expensive as fuck chocolates? I can also ask Bill, who is playing the violin in the dining room right now, to play you a song while I ask you out.” 

This time you roll your eyes at his response, “No need for flowers and expensive as fuck chocolates,” you emphasize his words. “And his name is Bill? He doesn’t even look like a Bill.” 

“That’s what I’ve been telling my coworkers. He looks more like a Marvin to me.” Jeongguk says and you nod your head in agreement after a quick thought. 

“Tell you what, give me your number first and then I’ll give you a response,” You don’t know where this confidence suddenly came from 

“You know you could’ve just asked me for my number if you wanted it so bad,” He laughs and you ignore him, handing him your phone. 

“Hush, I need to leave now so hurry up,” You watch as he types in his number, an amused smile pulling at his lips which causes you to narrow your eyes at him.

He hands you back your phone, an innocent smile on his face while you’re looking at him suspiciously. When you glance down at your phone, you understand why he has that look on his face. 

The contact name for his number is My super hot gardener &lt;3 <3

Can he get any more annoying? 

“Are you kidding me?” You ask him but don’t change the name anyways. 

“Not at all, love.” He pulls you forward once more, cupping your face with both hands this time, causing you to look up at him. “Listen, don’t worry about how Dohyun is going to feel, and don’t beat yourself up about it either.” You nod sadly. “You can’t keep leading him on like this. Neither of you deserve that. So just be honest about your feelings towards him.” Jeongguk tilts your head up to look at him. “You have to put yourself first okay?” 

You nod understandingly, hands going behind his neck to pull him down for another sweet kiss because you just couldn’t fucking help yourself. The feeling of his lips on yours was just so damn addicting. The way he was gazing at you with those soft doe eyes and the comforting words he provided had your stomach fluttering with butterflies. 

Your lips move in sync, arms tightening around one another as if you didn’t want to let each other go. His tongue prods at your lips, asking for entrance which you grant. His tongue slides into your mouth, hands digging into your hips as he fights for dominance with your own tongue. The kiss becomes more and more heated, your hands tangling in his wavy hair once again while you’re pretty sure your lipstick is smeared over both your lips as well as his own. 

The sound of your phone vibrating has you pulling back from his lips with a loud POP. Your chest is heaving, slightly out of breath from the intense kiss. Jeongguk runs his thumb across his lip to clean the faint lipstick while you’re opening your purse to see a message from Dohyun. 

Dohyun: Hey Y/N, are you okay?” 

Great, he must think you’re fighting for your life in the bathroom or something. It’s probably been well over 20 minutes so you can’t blame him. 

“I really have to go now.” You tell Jeongguk and he nods understandingly. 

“It’s fine,” He grabs a tissue and brings it up to clean beneath your lower lip. “Your lipstick smeared again.” You smile at the gesture in a thankful manner, letting him clean it for you.

He’s going to kill you. 

“Remember what I said okay?” He tells you and you nod in response, your throat feeling tight already at the conversation you’ve been dreading the whole night. “And I’ll be nearby in case you need help.” You nod once again, feeling reassured by his words. 

“Okay, thanks.” You give him a sweet smile, leaning up on your tiptoes to kiss his cheek which catches him off guard.  

“Yeah…” He clears his throat, “No problem.” 

With a small smile, you turn around and walk out the bathroom door not without looking over your shoulder at Jeongguk one last time. 

Here goes nothing. 

+

“Hey, sorry I took so long,” You apologize to Dohyun, straightening out your dress before sitting back down on the chair. 

Dohyun just gives you a sweet, understanding smile in return and says, “It’s okay. Jeongguk hasn’t even come by with the food yet.” 

You cough, taking a sip of your water to hide the flush of your cheeks. If only he knew Jeongguk was too busy with his tongue down your throat in the bathroom. The thought of what just went down in the bathroom had your stomach swirling in excitement. You hope the small smile on your face was not too obvious.  

“Is everything okay?” Dohyun’s voice is filled with concern. 

You’re snapped out of your thoughts at the sound of his question, looking up at him with wide eyes. You need to focus on the fact that you’re on a date with Dohyun right now and that you only have to endure this for a little bit longer before the food comes. 

Then you actually have to let Dohyun down politely. Honestly, you don’t even know why you don’t just get it over with right now. 

Jeongguk’s words echo in your head, telling you that it’s okay to think about yourself and turn Dohyun down. There’s no reason for you to be stretching this time out even longer. It’ll save him the heartbreak. It’s not like he was wrong. The further you lead Dohyun on, the more hurt he’ll be in the end when he finds out you do not reciprocate mutual feelings.

You also can’t forget the soft look in Jeongguk’s eyes. It was a look that you’d never seen on his face before and one that you didn’t think he was capable of showing considering his intimidating aura. But if there’s one thing you learned, it’s that Jeongguk is far from intimidating underneath all those piercings, ink, and black clothes. 

God, you just wanted this date to be over so you can tell Jeongguk to fuck off his shift for the night and go somewhere so the two of you can spend some time together. 

“Uh yeah, I’m okay,” You take a sip of your wine this time. “I’m fine. It’s just a little hot in here.” You’re praying he buys that excuse for your flushed face. You exaggerate it by fanning yourself with the menu listed with the different alcoholic beverages. 

“Oh no,” Dohyun looks worried. “Do you want to go somewhere else?” He asks seriously. 

“No no,” You wave off. “I’ll be okay. Thank you though.” You reassure him with a small smile. You are not about to drag this night out any longer. 

Dohyun nods though he looks a bit unconvinced. You fiddle with your fingers, unsure of what else to say. The silence between the two of you is awkward. You’re staring down into your lap while Dohyun opens and closes his mouth as if he wants to say something but holds himself back. 

“So Y/N,” You look up at Dohyun. “You probably already have an idea why I asked you out to dinner.” You try not to make it obvious when your eyes become a little wider, your heart dropping in your chest. “I mean..” He chuckles a bit, scratching the back of his neck. “We’ve known each other for so long. I remember watching you as a kid, thinking you’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen.” You try to smile but you think it looks more like a grimace. 

“I remember when one of the kids your mom would set you up with for playdates was being so mean to me  but you just…came to the rescue and told them to leave me alone.” The memory was quite vivid to you only because ever since that day, you noticed how Dohyun would start bringing you small gifts like a flower from the garden or pieces of candy. “That’s when I knew I started to develop feelings for you.” 

And there it is. The expression on his face is filled with admiration and love as he stares at you intently, pouring his heart out to you and confessing his feelings. Something you’ve always feared because you knew that by the end of this, he was going to leave with a broken heart. You let yourself get way too far and led him to this point. Now it’s your job to end it. 

“I just really want to tell you that I’ve always loved–” 

Dohyun gets interrupted when Jeongguk arrives with a tray carrying your entrees. “Alright you guys, the food is here.” Dohyun’s face drops, falling silent at the interruption while you’re filled with relief, exhaling out a breath. You look up at Jeongguk only to catch him already looking at you, giving you a small wink that Dohyun isn’t able to see. 

“Filet mignon for you,” Jeongguk sets down the plate in front of Dohyun who thanks him in response with a polite smile. “And risotto for the pretty lady,” Jeongguk emphasizes pretty and you bite your lip to hide the smile that threatens to form on your face. 

“Thank you, Jeongguk,” Your foot brushes against his ankle purposely when you uncross your legs and he just looks at you with a certain glint in his eyes, a pierced eyebrow raised at the gesture. 

“No problem,” He clears his throat, breaking eye contact so it doesn’t look so obvious to Dohyun. “Is there anything else you guys need?” 

Dohyun looks at you in question and you shake your head as a no in response. He then looks back up at Jeongguk and gives him a grateful smile, “No, we’re good. Thanks, man.” 

“Yeah, no problem. I’ll be back to check on you guys,” He informed you and it sounded like he was mostly talking to you from the way he looks at you, eyes lingering before leaves. He needs to stop making it so damn obvious. 

“So…” Dohyun is about to start talking but you interrupt him. 

“Let’s eat, I’m starving,” You immediately pick up the fork and dig into the feed even though you had no appetite to consume food. If anything, you felt nauseous. You’re dreading the conversation that you’re about to have. 

“Wow,” Dohyun’s eyes are wide as he chews his food. “This steak is amazing.” He gushes, cutting into the meat with his knife and fork before holding it in your direction. “You need to try this.” 

You shake your head, “Oh no, I’m okay. Thank you though.” You politely decline and give him a grateful smile. 

“No seriously,” He responds. “You have to try this.” He seems persistent, wiggling his fork towards you with a bite of the tender-looking steak. You gulp, noticing how he’s leaning forward in anticipation with an eager look in his eyes. You’re about to lean forward, lips parted to take a bite but Jeongguk being the savior he is–God, you can just kiss him–comes back. 

“You guys look like you’re running low on wine so I brought some more,” Jeongguk chirps, moving Dohyun’s arm back so he can pour into the glass. You bite down on your lower lip to keep yourself from smiling widely, meeting Jeongguk’s eyes with a thankful expression. You opt to stare at his beautiful inked hands pouring into the wine glass as you try not to make it obvious when your hand secretly strokes his thigh. You hold back a laugh when you notice him slightly flinch out of surprise, jaw clenching, and eyes narrowed when he glances at you.

You feign a look of innocence and say, “Thank you for the wine.” You’re grateful that the table is high enough that Dohyun can’t see how Jeongguk takes his left hand while the right is still holding the bottle and squeezes your hand. 

Jeongguk clears his throat, 

“Thanks, Jeongguk,” Dohyun gives him an appreciative smile, “I was just trying to get Y/N to try the filet mignon.” 

“Oh yes,” Jeongguk says, attempting to sound professional and you bite back a laugh, “Many customers rave over the filet mignon. The cows were fed organic grass which is one of the reasons why it’s so delectable.” 

Organic grass? What the fuck is he even saying? 

You know damn well he’s trying to be funny but the way he said it with a straight face would make one think he’s serious. For example, Dohyun looked utterly fascinated by the thought. 

“Wow, are they really?” 

Jeongguk snorts but quickly covers it with a cough, “Yeah man. Don’t you know? Those cows are living their best life. Better than you and I,” Jeongguk takes the fork out of Dohyun’s hand and the other boy just stares at him, eyes wide in curiosity. He grabs the piece of steak that was originally meant for you and slides the bite into his mouth before giving Dohyun the fork back. Jeongguk scrunches up his face in delight, almost looking angry as he chews before he lets out a sigh and looks back at Dohyun. “Dare I say the cows are living a better life than Y/N too.” 

You cover your face, unable to hold back your giggles while Dohyun just looks confused now. Jeongguk has a small smile on his face as he glances at you, feeling accomplished for making you laugh so cutely. 

“I have to ask my uncle about this if it’s true,” Dohyun shakes his head, expression full of surprise as he looks deep in thought. “He owns a farm so maybe he can start doing that too.” 

Jeongguk looks like he’s trying not to burst out laughing this time but instead nods, “Yeah let me know what he says, man.” 

“Jeongguk, Suho is calling you to the back,” A waiter whispers into his ear, “Like now.” 

“Now?” Jeongguk asks and the other waiter nods. He looks back at you and sees you swallow nervously. This means Jeongguk can no longer save you from delaying this any further. It’s either now or never. 

You look back at Jeongguk and give him a reassuring nod in a subtle manner to tell him it’s okay if he leaves. He glances over at Dohyun, noticing how the other boy is tapping his foot impatiently beneath the table as if waiting for Jeongguk to leave so he can pick up where he left off. 

“Alright,” Jeongguk clears his throat, “Looks like I’m needed in the back. Are you guys good?” He asks, mostly directing the question at you based on the direct eye contact he makes, eyebrow raised. 

You give him an appreciative smile, “I’m good. Thank you, Jeongguk.” 

“Me too. Thanks, Jeongguk!” Dohyun says a slight eagerness following his tone. 

“Okay cool, be right back.” He tells you, sending you a small comforting smile. You let out a deep breath, looking over at Dohyun who’s already staring at you with a nervous expression on his face. 

“Y/N, there’s something I need to tell you. I’ve been meaning to tell you for so long but…” Dohyun twiddles with his fingers resting on top of the table. “I would just get so nervous and chicken out,” He chuckles at himself with a shake of his head. “I’ve always admired you and your kindness. Your kindness is what drew me to you more than anything. Comforting people when they’re upset and going out of your way to make them feel better.” Your lips turn up into a small smile at his words but your chest aches out of guilt with what you’re about to do. “Basically, what I’m trying to tell you is that…I uh really really like you. I’ve liked you since we were kids. Maybe even love.” Dohyun lets out a quivering laugh, avoiding eye contact. “I was wondering if you’d give me a chance.” 

Your throat feels like it’s closing up as you hear his words, processing them clearly. The feeling of your heart pounding against your chest and beating in your ears, your face feeling warm and flushed. You look down at your hands in your lap, playing with the ring on your index finger as you let out a shaky breath through your lips. 

“Dohyun…you’ve always been a sweet guy,” You begin, “So selfless and always thinking of others.” You add and he nods, a smile playing on his lips from your compliment. “But I…I’m sorry,” You feel your eyes stinging as you notice the smile vanish from his face, lips pursing in despair. “I don’t see you that way.” You finally say. 

His face crumples a bit, shoulders and head dropping as soon as the words leave your lips. He looks down into his lap and you swear you can hear him sniffling a bit. The silence between you two is almost deafening, the sound of other customers and cutlery being the only thing you hear. 

“I’m really sorry,” You say again, eyes welling up a bit because of how bad you feel. “I probably shouldn’t have even said yes to you because it seems like I’ve led you on but I just didn’t know how to tell you no.” 

Dohyun just nods in response, not moving a single inch from his position and his lack of words is killing you. You notice Jeongguk peeking at you from behind the door, locking eyes with you. He immediately notices the sorrowful look on your face, stepping forward to approach you but you quickly shake your head. 

Not yet, you try to tell him. You think this conversation needs to end with closure. You don’t want to leave without making sure he’s okay. You know he’s not okay and he probably won’t be for some time. He’s had feelings for you for so long, he must feel so crushed by your rejection. 

When Dohyun finally lifts his head up to look at you, you feel your chest ache at his red-rimmed eyes and quivering lips. “Y-You won’t even give me a chance? Like… not even if I take you on more dates a-and maybe let you get to know me better?” He wipes his nose with the back of his hand, sniffling. 

You shake your head, a sad smile on your lips. “I’m sorry…I just,” You look over at Jeongguk who’s talking to another customer while constantly glancing at you in concern. “I like someone else.” You tell him, feeling like absolute shit. You just didn’t know what else you could’ve told him for him to completely let you go. You had to tell him the truth. 

His face shows pure anguish, looking completely defeated. “So I-I don’t stand a chance against him?” He asks, voice hoarse. 

“I’m sorry,” is the only thing you think you can say in response to that. 

He just nods, head hanging low and lets out a quiet. “Okay.” 

“Everything good?” Jeongguk decides to cut in, saving you from this painful moment. 

Dohyun just looks up and Jeongguk in response and nods solemnly, “Yeah can we get the check please?” 

“Uh yeah sure,” Jeongguk responds. “Boxes?” 

“No thanks,” Dohyun immediately says, his voice cracking. “Y/N,” He looks at you properly for the first time. “Do you think I can get a r-ride home? I-I just don’t think I can…” He looks like he’s about to have a breakdown so you immediately cut in. 

“It’s okay. Don’t even worry about it.” Your voice is soft, feeling like you need to speak to him in a delicate manner because he may break any second. “I’ll call my driver.” 

“Okay,” Dohyun nods. “I’m gonna go. I’ll see you on Monday.” He says quickly before getting up swiftly. There’s a fresh set of tears in his eyes and he nods at Jeongguk. Head hanging low with his feet dragging across the floor, he walks towards the door without looking back. 

You stare at the door, never feeling this much guilt and regret in your life. Guilt for turning him down but also regret even accepting this date. You think saying yes to the date probably gave him high hopes that you had feelings for him in return. You should’ve come clean at the pool when he asked you out in the first place.  

“Oh god,” You cover your face with both hands. “I feel so awful. I feel so fucking awful. I can’t believe he cried.” Your throat feels tight and painful, unable to get the image of your head. 

“Hey hey,” Jeongguk looks around before kneeling beside you, hand on your arm, “It’s okay. You had to do it okay?” You nod but don’t move your hands away from your face. 

“I know I just can’t forget the look on his face,” You whisper into your hands. “I just feel so bad.” 

“I know Y/N. That wasn’t an easy thing to do,” Jeongguk acknowledges, rubbing his hand up and down your back in a comforting manner. 

Not only do you feel like a total asshole right now, you’re a little embarrassed at the fact that Jeongguk is seeing you on the verge of bursting into tears but you cannot help yourself. 

“Hey listen,” His voice is gentle and you feel him move closer to you, his chest pressing against your knee. “A lot of these people are looking at us and I don’t know if they know who you are but I don’t want it spreading around that you were crying in this boujee ass restaurant in the headlines tomorrow.” You chuckle a little taking the napkin he’s holding out for you, patting it beneath your eyes. 

“Thank you,” You say quietly, unable to look him in the eyes. 

“Of course,” He clears his throat. “I’m about to finish my shift soon. Um if you want, I can give you a ride home?” He offers before quickly adding. “Only if you want to. I won’t be offended if you just want your driver to pick you up.”

You finally look at him for the first time, taking slightly widened doe eyes, face looking soft. He’s tugging at the piercing on his lower lip, a nervous habit you’ve noticed from the time you’ve spent with him. 

“I would really appreciate that,” You inform him with a grateful smile. 

His shoulders visibly relax at your answer, a sigh escaping his lips. 

“Thank God you said that,” He pretends to wipe the sweat off his forehead, “I don’t think I was ready to handle the rejection.” He tells you and you feel like there’s some underlying truth to that. 

“The dude I’m crushing on is offering me a ride, who am I to say no?” You say bravely and he freezes, eyes wide and full of surprise with how you say that without a single stutter. 

“D-Dude you’re crushing on me?” He repeats, bringing his hand up to point his index finger at him. “Am I the dude you’re crushing on?” He asks in disbelief. 

You give him an ‘Are you joking’ look, pushing at his shoulder. “Who else is offering me a ride home here?” You ask him. 

“I’m sure tons of people would. You’re beautiful.” He says easily and you flush, not expecting that response at all. 

“Oh,” You look down at your lap with a smile on your lips. Feeling so flustered by his compliment, you change the subject. “Is it wrong to do all this after I just broke someone’s heart?” You ask him. 

Jeongguk shakes his head, “No, you did what you had to do, Y/N.” You nod, a slightly guilty expression appearing on your face once again. “Here,” He pulls out what looks like car keys from his back pocket. “Do you want to wait in my car while I finish up here?” 

You nod, grabbing the keys from him with a smile, “I’ll wait.” You grab your purse, pulling the strap onto your shoulder. Jeongguk also stands up from his kneeling position, brushing his black pants. 

Once you stand up, you have to peer up to look at him. Even with your heels on you, you’re still barely reaching his damn shoulder. 

Are you really that short or is he just super tall? 

“By the way,” You start, causing him to immediately pause from picking up the plate and giving you his full attention with the way he turns his body to look at you, eyes meeting yours. For some reason that makes your heart flutter. “Can you charge the dinner on my card?” You open your purse to pull out your tiny card holder. “It’s the least I can do for Dohyun.” You add, handing him the card. 

Jeongguk looks down at the card in his hand as if it’s the most fascinating thing he’s ever seen, eyes squinting before widening. He holds the card up to the light as if inspecting it before bringing it back down and closer to his face again.

“Um, is everything okay?” You ask in confusion. 

“Did you just hand me a black card?” His voice is full of surprise, mouth slightly ajar. 

“Yeah…” You trail off, looking down at your feet. 

Great, he must think you’re a spoiled brat. 

“Do you know the amount of unnecessary and useless shit I would buy if I had one of these?” He holds the card in his fingers as if it’s fine china. 

“I mean you can,” You respond and he just looks at you in disbelief.

“Baby you’re too sweet but I never thought about getting sugar mama.” He smirks before adding, “At least not anymore.” Your heart flutters and you try not to squeal at the fact that he casually called you ‘baby’. 

This man is trying to kill you. 

You pretend to act unbothered by his words with a roll of your eyes, shoving at his shoulder, “Shut up before I make you pay for this dinner.” You threaten and he immediately closes his mouth, turning towards the table. You laugh in response, shaking your head at him. 

“I’ll be out in 10 minutes,” He tells you and you nod, a smile on your face as you step towards the door already feeling a lot better just by talking to him. 

[thisgirlnamedblusy]

First off, your writing is nectar. I slurp it up like a fine wine.

I would ask if you would write a story about how Donna got the reader pregnant out of jealousy and possession, but it ends up being a difficult pregnancy/birth, which kinda makes Donna realise how she could lose the reader in trying to keep her. If and how well reader recovers is up to you.

If this ask makes you uncomfortable, I apologise. Have a nice day :)

Yesss!!! Thank you for your words and your support, and ofc, for your request. I'm sorry if it's too dark, but well, I've tried. I hope you like it and sorry about the language mistakes!!! :))))

A long road to redemption

Pairing: Donna Beneviento x Fem! Reader

Warnings: G!P Donna (implied), Minors DNI, slightly dark themes, dark Donna, jealousy... Angst, but with a happy ending, Donna's POV

Word count: 6,926

Summary: I'm sorry, (Y/N), this is all my fault...

N/A: Sorry about the language mistakes!!! Requests are open!!! I'm waiting yours!!! I love you all!!! :))

“I'm sick of your stupid jealousy!” You shouted, looking at me with bloodshot eyes, with the shine of hatred that your words conveyed.

“And I'm sick of you despising me, of you disappearing without warning! Do you know what you've put me through?” I responded furiously, pushing you, cornering you against a wall.

“I just went shopping, you damn psychopath! People are right, you're sick in the head, I don't know why I fell in love with you...” You hissed those last words, turning them into a sharp dagger, one that sank into my heart like a stake, killing what I had left of humanity.

“You think so?” I asked, with my words full of rage, with my body trembling.

“That's what you show me, Donna,” you responded, making me lose my composure, making me push you even harder, making the ideas that torment me day and night be reflected in my actions.

“I'll make something clear to you, (Y/N). You are mine, and only mine, if you’re trying to abandon me...” I threatened, hitting the wall with my fist, making your pride turn into terror, into panic, the only thing I didn't want to see in your eyes.

“You’re threating me? Is that your way of loving?” You asked, with your voice breaking, with your eyes open imagining what was the worst thing I would be capable of doing to keep you, so you wouldn't abandon me. “You're going to kill me?”

“No,” I answered dryly, gritting my teeth, fighting against the anger inside of me, against the voices in my head that urged me to do something horrible. “But if you don't want to stay, I will force you to do so.”

I woke up sweating, after reliving that horrible moment over and over again, that moment when I completely lost my mind.

I could have settled for a quiet, solitary life, with the life that fate and the Gods had granted me. But no, I couldn't do it, not when I met you. You were a funny girl, but kind, you showed me I really didn't want to be alone, just for what? So I would harm you, so my inexperience and my fears would turn your life into hell.

Those discussions compromised the happiness I felt at your side, they made me believe you didn't love me, that you would abandon me, that you would exchange me for someone who wasn't a monster like me.

None of that helped you to leave. You never left, not even that dark, rainy afternoon, when my madness was too much even for me. I never wanted to hurt you, (Y/N), ever.

But jealousy, that possessive behavior that torments my soul made me make a mistake, made me force you, made me take you to keep you. How could I make you stay? In what way could your mind force you to love me, to continue loving me? The solution seemed right, it seemed like a good idea: getting you pregnant.

Neither your screams nor your refusals made me stop. I fulfilled my threat, I took you without permission, I made you mine on that wall, my bad thoughts, my demons, took control of my actions.

Your scared look haunted me every night, even after you had forgiven me, or so you said. You were always so understanding, too understanding. Maybe you loved me as much as you said, maybe you feared me as much as I thought. It was impossible for me to know.

Forgiving an act like that only made you kinder, only made me see how wrong I was with you, but my own torments still screamed to be heard. No one in the world could forgive something like that, no one except you. Why? I still wonder.

You were always so patient, you were always there to help me and how did I repay you? With distrust, with jealousy, with the eternal suspicion that your presence would be ephemeral.

The day you told me that you were pregnant I didn't know how to act. It is true that it was what I intended, but it was only the product of an argument, of my deranged and sick mind. You could have left after that, but you didn't, you forgave me, you always forgave me.

8 months have passed since that day and the nightmares do their job, reminding me that everything was my fault. A child should be a reason for joy, but not when your body seemed to have problems with it.

It seems like everything in my life goes wrong, maybe I never deserved you. Like a divine punishment, your condition worsened with each passing month, with each little bit that our child grew in your womb. I couldn't say if I preferred nightmares, or seeing you in bed unable to move, because of me, because of my stupid jealousy.

“(Y/N)...” I murmured, wiping the sweat from my forehead. Your presence always helped me keep my demons away, knowing that you were there with me. That night it seemed like everything was against me again.

On your side of the bed, there was a cold emptiness. My hands traveled over the place where your sick body should be. It was gone, and the voices returned.

She left, for sure.

But that statement that my own mind was making was no longer enough to make me lose my temper. I could say I believed in your unconditional love, but it was more of a logical reasoning. You could barely move. If you meant to leave, you would never do it at night, not in that state, not with my child in your womb.

I got up confused, searching in the darkness of the bedroom. Like a heavenly light, the illuminated hallway served to calm my head, so my heart would stop beating fast.

“(Y/N), where are you?” I asked, walking through the hallways, peeking through each door in a mad search, retaining the tremors of my body, the sweat of my hands, that part of my head that told me that you would abandon me. “(Y/N)?!”

"Shh, don't yell, damn it...” Your hoarse voice sounded from the kitchen and I almost ran to meet you. There you were, leaning on the counter, holding your belly with your hand.

Your look was no longer the one I fell in love with over the months. Your body was weak, your skin was pale. I knew it was my fault, but I refused to believe it.

“What are you doing?” I asked, slowly entering the kitchen. The smile that was always on your face did not illuminate me that time, only a sad shine in your eyes.

“Can't I even drink a fucking glass of water?” You hissed, setting the glass on the counter forcefully, making me step back, scared by your attitude, one you hadn't had in a while. “Can't you leave me alone for at least a second?”

I opened my mouth to say something, but I couldn't do it, your words hurt me again, but I suppressed my anger. I never told you, but I tried very hard so my madness would not hurt you again, no matter how difficult you made it for me.

You closed your eyes, sighing, lowering your head, resting your hands on the furniture and taking a breath.

“Hey, Donna, I’m sorry,” you murmured, gesturing for me to come closer. “I didn't mean to talk to you like that.”

I walked slowly towards you and a sad smile appeared on your face. It was fake, false, but at least it was a smile. I lowered my head, thus showing that your attitude didn't bother me, that I had gotten over that kind of things a long time ago, even if you didn't realize it.

“You should be in bed,” I said, putting a hand on your shoulder, wishing with all my might that you wouldn't take it away. You didn't, you just turned slowly, with a grimace of pain. “If you were thirsty, you should have woken me up.”

You smiled again, sighing, closing your eyes and holding my hand, playing with my fingers erratically. I could see the pain in your body. I was able to feel it. It was all my fault.

“I didn't mean to wake you up,” you said softly, rocking with me, suppressing the pain you felt. “You are so beautiful when you sleep...”

That whisper made me smile, really smile. Despite everything I put you through, you still allowed yourself to flatter me. Again, I couldn't tell if it was love, or fear.

My hands traveled slowly to your belly, to the cause of my happiness, and my worry. Yours joined in that caress, but your face still expressed pain, annoyance.

“I really want to know what it will be like, don't you?” You asked, enjoying that tender moment, one of those that relaxed my heart. I nodded with a wider smile. “I know this is being hard, but I have no doubt that we will be able to overcome it.”

“You're always so optimistic...” I whispered, trying to feel the baby with my hands, trying to feel its movements, the reality of its existence. You laughed amused, caressing my cheek and raising your eyebrows.

“I can't live any other way,” you said, kissing me slowly, placing your lips on mine. If you only knew how your kisses made me feel... “Ah...” You complained, doubling over yourself, with a horrible grimace of pain.

“Tesoro, what's wrong?” I asked worried, holding your body while you shook your head.

“Nothing, I...” You said breathing hard, faking a smile, one that I knew wasn’t possible for you to wield in your state. “I think, I think it's gotten jealous...” You murmured amused, placing your hands on your belly again.

“Should I call Mother Miranda? You don't look good,” I said, still worried, searching your eyes for the source of that pain, wishing I was the one who was suffering. I caused it, it was my fault.

“No, no, I… I think I can handle it,” you said, catching your breath, breathing like you had learned. All these months had been an eternal circle of pain and discomfort for you, because of me.

Days and days, hours and hours of suffering... That child of mine seemed to want to make you suffer. It seemed to hate you as much as I did when I created it. I just wished that it didn't look like me, I just wished that everything would go back to the way it was before.

It never will be, because of you...

Your screams of pain were unbearable.

After a week, that terrible moment came. It seemed like the baby wanted to come out early, it seemed like it was killing you inside. I have never seen so much pain in a person. I have never felt so much pain.

“Hold on, please,” I said desperately while you lay on the stretcher. Mother Miranda attended to you, but I could only see your wounded face, the blood that flowed between your legs. The fear I had of losing you finally had a basis, a real one. “Squeeze my hand tightly, come on, please…”

Desperate, I was trying to help you, trying to make those screams stop. Your eyes looked at me, but I knew you couldn't see me, all you saw was pain, it was suffering, because of me. You were destroying my hand, but I didn't care, I just wanted you to stop suffering, I just wanted that for once, fate wouldn't make me pay for my mistakes.

“Keep talking to her, Donna,” Miranda told me, while she acted on your body, while her hands were stained with blood. “Don't let her fall asleep.”

I nodded profusely, leaning over you, holding your hand tightly in mine as you sobbed.

“Come on, tesoro, hold on, I know you can do it... You are the love of my life...” I repeated over and over again. You didn't seem to listen to me, or didn't want to, how could you believe those words when I was responsible for your suffering?

“I can't take it anymore...” You whispered with a weak voice, squeezing your eyes tightly, with the strength that began to lack in my hand.

I looked at you scared, but I tried to stay calm, looking at the priestess, my Goddess, who seemed very focused, her hands red with your blood. My hands were the ones covered in blood, not hers. That was all my fault.

“Come on, my love... Just a little more, it won't be long now,” I said, trying to control my voice, trying not to fall into a heartbreaking cry. You needed my strength. You needed your executioner to be your salvation.

“Donna...” You sighed, your voice becoming weaker. Your hand was dead in mine, you couldn't hold it tightly anymore. I didn't want to see it, but I saw the life disappearing in your eyes, and I panicked.

“Miranda! Do something, (Y/N) is going to...” I screamed desperately, when I noticed a weak hand on my cheek, forcing me to look at you. There was a too-calm smile on your face, your sobs had stopped.

“Shhh, don't be afraid, my Donna...” You said with an agonized voice, making the tears I was suppressing finally run down my cheeks.

“This is all my fault,” I sobbed, lowering my head and resting it on the stretcher, without letting you go, I would never let you go, (Y/N).

“No, my love... It's not your fault,” you said, trying to console me, making me feel even worse. You didn't have to console me, you should make me suffer. Give me back a bit of your pain. I wish I was the one on that stretcher, and not you.

“I did this to you...” I said, rubbing my face on your chest, noticing for myself your slow heartbeats.

“It's not your fault, do you hear me?” You repeated, making an effort, clenching your teeth when another spasm of pain ran through your body.

“Her vital signs are dropping. We have to sedate her,” Miranda commented. She seemed absent until that moment.

“What?” I asked scared, looking up at the drip that the witch gave you. “What are you doing?”

“I have already told you. If I don't sedate her, both she and the baby will die,” the priestess said, the one to blame for everything, the real culprit. If her divine grace had not granted me the gift of creating life, I would not be like this. You would not be like this.

“Donna, calm down, everything will be fine...” You murmured, closing your eyes, with a strange smile on your face. “You know I love you, right?”

“(Y/N)...” I murmured, only being able to say your name, not even being able to say how much I loved you, how much I was sorry for having hurt you.

“Promise me one thing, okay? Promise you'll take care of that baby...” You said, with a tone that made me panic.

“No, no, don't say goodbye, you, you can take care of it too, we will be, we will be a family...” I said desperately, seeing how your body relaxed dangerously, probably due to Miranda's medicines.

“I love you…”

“No, no, (Y/N), (Y/N)...” I said when your body collapsed on the stretcher. Crying, I shook your shoulders. My head thought too many things, I felt too many things that I lost track of reality, I was trapped in a spiral of pain, of guilt. It had been all my fault.

Because of you, Donna, because of you, Donna…Donna…

“Donna! Are you listening to me?” Miranda's abrupt voice made me raise my head and return to the world, return to reality, to that terrible reality. “Come here, quickly.”

I kissed the back of your limp hand, trying not to see the weakness of your unconscious body, and I approached Miranda, who looked at me with almost the same hatred as you did that day.

“Hold the head carefully,” she ordered me, placing me in front of you, in that bloodbath. That little monster was killing you. It was taking the love of my life.

“Two drops...” Miranda murmured, introducing another syringe into the serum.

I couldn't think clearly. My bloody hands were definitive proof that I killed you, that I put you through that. I will always thank Mother Miranda for preventing me to lose my temper even more.

“Wake up at once!” She screeched. “Hold the baby and pull it out slowly.”

“What about (Y/N)?” I asked immediately, looking at your inert face, your breathing almost non-existent.

“Damn...” The blonde grumbled, grabbing the collar of my dress. “Stop acting stupid and do what I tell you. Otherwise they will die.”

I nodded, terribly scared, holding that little head that, after a spasm, turned into a baby, which I picked up in my arms. I was paralyzed with that bloody mass in my hands. It wasn't moving, and neither were you. It was the worst of my nightmares, the worst of my punishments.

“Come on, breathe...” I whispered, cradling that little baby full of blood, the blood of my sins, my mistakes. This was all my fault.

A screeching cry filled that small laboratory. The little being that I had in my hands writhed and cried desperately. I sighed, letting more tears roll down my cheeks. My daughter had been born, she had survived.

The sound of scissors, cutting what still bound the girl to you woke me up again. Miranda pushed me away with a gentle push and a slightly calmer look, nodding.

“Well done, stay back, I'll try to stop the bleeding,” she said, putting a hand on my shoulder and taking a quick look at the baby, who was still crying inconsolably.

It was eternal agony. I could only see blood, death. I could only think about that afternoon, I could only think that beautiful baby I was holding in my arms was the cause of your misery. I couldn't even look at it. I couldn't even feel the happiness I should feel.

Miranda sighed after an hour of erratic movements in your body. Her gaze turned to me. I couldn't interpret it and that made me shake.

“She's alive... For now...” She whispered, making me close my eye in relief but worried at the same time. “I really didn't think she would do it.”

“Is she alive?” I asked incredulously. It certainly didn't seem like it, your body barely moved, the sound of that infernal machine confirmed Miranda's words, but there was nothing that made me think calmly. Not even the daughter I had in my arms.

“For now. She has lost a lot of blood,” Miranda commented, washing her hands in a sink. I wish it were as easy as that, I wish by just washing my hands, your blood would disappear from them. “Let me take a look at the baby.”

Involuntarily, I handed the girl over to her, my gaze focused on your body, in the blood on the sheets. I killed you, it was all my fault.

“Fine...” The witch murmured, examining the girl cautiously and returning her to me shortly after. I didn't want to hold her in my arms, she was to blame, I was to blame. “The girl is fine,” she sighed, heading to a table and mixing something on it.

I didn't respond, I just moved my arms, wishing that terrifying cry would go away.

“Here,” Miranda said, holding a small bottle in her hand. I looked at it suspiciously and then looked back at you. “The girl is hungry, can't you see it?”

“It should be (Y/N) who…” I mumbled, shaking my head, making the witch snort again.

“(Y/N) isn't there, Donna!” She yelled, surely exhausted by the effort, and by my behavior. “Stop whining and feed your daughter.”

I nodded. It was hard to see Miranda so angry. Surely people were right, I am so sick in the head that not even the one who called herself my savior could stand me. Unsure, with trembling hands, I took the bottle, slowly tilting it towards the baby, who didn't think twice before starting to drink almost desperately.

“That's it...” Miranda said, plopping down next to me, exhausted. I couldn't even thank her. I didn't even feel that adoration I should feel towards her. I was to blame, but so was she, she made me like this.

“You were hungry, right?” I asked softly to the baby, who squirmed in response. Seeing that being so defenseless, so beautiful, I regretted wishing it had never existed.

But not even that intense happiness I felt having my daughter in my arms could eclipse your last words, your last declaration of your love for me. I just wanted it not to be the last. I wanted you to get up, for a miracle to happen.

I couldn't think of anything else.

“You've been lucky,” Miranda said, taking the now empty bottle, with a cold look, with the only look she could have. I should have realized. I should not have wanted her to save me from my miseries. “This usually doesn't turn out well.”

“Lucky? (Y/N) is...”I protested immediately, making the baby cry again, making me nervous again.

“She’s alive, Donna,” Miranda corrected. “You should be glad the baby survived. I don't understand you.”

“You can't possibly understand me,” I hissed angrily, making her frown. “This is all my fault.”

“Well, if you think so, you should have thought about it before, right?” She told me mockingly, making me look up at her, wanting to see her on that stretcher instead of you.

I shook my head, knowing that baby came into the world because I was crazy, sick, because I thought I would lose you. I wish I had known I was going to lose you like this, I wish I could have suppressed my instincts.

“Can I leave you alone? I need a shower,” the blonde sighed, standing up with disdain and looking disgusted at her bloody clothes.

I looked at her with an eye of fire. I couldn't blame her for doubting me but, I felt like she really had to, that I was a danger. I put you in danger, it was all my fault. Slowly, I nodded and she looked at me suspiciously, but she walked away.

The silence was overwhelming. The baby had fallen asleep in my arms, I had almost forgotten about it. Gods, why were you so cruel to me? How could I forget my own daughter?

I looked at you and got up slowly, walking towards you, sitting in the chair I occupied a few moments ago, where I heard those words, the words I should have heard that afternoon.

“Look, (Y/N), she’s beautiful, don't you think?” I said with a sincere smile, showing the baby, who peacefully sleeping.

Your breathing didn't change. Your smile didn't appear on your face. I just thought you were really listening to me. I wanted to share that happiness I should feel. I couldn't, (Y/N), without you I couldn't feel anything.

“I can't handle this alone, tesoro... You have, you have to recover, you have to...” I whispered, falling into tears again, holding your insensitive hand, overwhelmed, alone, without you.

“If you can't, why the hell do you have a daughter?” Miranda asked, interrupting that private moment, interrupting your first meeting with our daughter.

I ignored her question, gritting my teeth. She was right.

“I don't...” I murmured confused, knowing that deep down I should defend myself, but I couldn't do it. She was right, it was all my fault, it always was. I should never have asked you to stay, to love me. Your love for me was your downfall.

“You don't, what?” The blonde insisted, taking the baby from my arms, probably because they started to shake uncontrollably. “For Gods’ sake, Donna…”

“I didn't know this would happen,” I said, frowning, replacing my tears with anger, with rage, with the lack of control I had in my life, in our life. I really couldn't know, but it was my fault.

“What didn't you know? Didn’t you know that if you played with your little thing without being careful, (Y/N) would get pregnant? Please, I thought you were smarter.”

“No!” I screeched, calming down instantly. I couldn't let my daughter know what kind of mother she had. I couldn't let my sick mind affect her as soon as she was born. “I didn't know that (Y/N) she would get so sick.”

“It was impossible for you to know,” the witch murmured, cradling the baby calmly, like a real mother, something I would never be. “Stop feeling sorry for yourself and behave like what you are.”

“And what am I?” I asked madly, breathing hard, minimizing my nervous breakdown as much as possible. No, my daughter couldn't see me like that.

“I don't know, what do you think you are, Donna?” Miranda asked back, without losing her calm. There's a reason she was Mother Miranda, and not a crazy psychopath like me.

“I'm a monster...” I said without hesitation, relaxing my body, burying my face in my hands, pulling my hair hard, hurting myself, barely feeling it. The pain in my heart was more unbearable.

Miranda rolled her eyes and sighed again, looking at the baby.

“You think so? Because I think that this beautiful girl could not be the daughter of a monster,” she said, loving my daughter, doing what I had to do.

I looked away abruptly, searching for your limp hand again, squeezing it in mine, wishing that my heat would revive your body.

“Please, (Y/N), wake up, please...” I repeated over and over again, concentrating, squeezing my eye tightly, crushing your hand, letting my tears soak the stretcher. “Please… Forgive me, please…”

“Donna, enough is enough. You can't do anything,” Miranda snapped at me with a stern voice, but holding the baby carefully, with the care that I lacked.

“I have, I have to be able to... I have to save her...” I said to myself, turning to the priestess, seeing her response. If she made me like this, why couldn't she also save the love of my life?

I got down from the chair, kneeling desperately, pulling at her clothes, making her look at me with disgust, a disgust that I didn't realize.

“Mother Miranda, I’m begging you, save (Y/N)... I will do anything...” I said, sobbing again, uncontrolled, scared and hurt. I couldn't take it anymore.

“Please...” She sighed, tired of my attitude. “I told you I can't. Don't humiliate yourself any more.”

“I will give my own life if necessary, but please... Help her,” I repeated again, not listening to her words, not wanting to accept the reality that devastated the depths of my mind.

“Your own life...” She murmured, shaking her head. “What about your daughter? Who is going to take care of her? You're stupid, Donna Beneviento.”

“I... I don't...” I said confused, hurt by her words, but willing to do anything to save you. I wish I could have reconsidered sooner.

“If you care that much about (Y/N), you should do her the favor of taking care of the daughter that she had such a hard time giving birth to, don't you think? Or do you just not care about her?”

“Of course I care,” I said defensively, getting up from the ground, with the shaking in my hands completely uncontrollable.

“It's incredible...” She said, sighing at my attitude, almost desperate for my madness. Surely she also regretted saving me.

“You don't understand,” I whispered, not being able to bear the guilt, a guilt that had been dragging on for too long. “I did this to her! I have hurt her!”

“Stop, yelling... Damn, you're a stupid nutcase...” Miranda hissed, protecting my daughter from my own psychosis. “I told you that you couldn't know.”

“Maybe I couldn’t but...” I said nervously, running my hands over my forehead, hands still covered in blood, your blood, like my conscience. “I raped her! I forced her to have that baby! Just, just because... I was afraid of losing her!”

“You did what?” She asked, surprised but impassive.

“I, I forced her, I, I forced her to... I didn't want her to leave. I believed she would abandon me if I didn't... If she didn't have a reason to stay. I got her pregnant against her will and still she…. She stayed with me... She really loved me and I... I did this to her...”  I confessed loud and clear, ceasing to be the only one who knew what had really happened, showing my true face, showing my true illness.

“Wow...” Miranda said, with a sinister smile on her face, one that made me shiver even more. “Did she stay after that?”

I nodded, following the priestess to a nearby couch, plopping down on it with my head buried in my knees.

The witch sighed, thinking about what to say to that horrible confession. Maybe that was the end of me. Maybe it was something so horrible that not even Miranda could bear it.

“Not all the people would do it in her situation, don't you think?” She whispered with a passive voice, she almost seemed not to be talking to me. I raised the head, looking at her out of the corner of my eye, embarrassed.

“I was jealous, I couldn't bear the idea of ​​losing her and now... Now I've done it, I've lost her...” I murmured, feeling like the most despicable person in the world, which I really was.

“Well, that's still not true,” Miranda said, with a mocking grin, moving the baby in her arms, cradling it relentlessly. “Tell me, do you think I love my daughter?”

I nodded confused by the question. Her deceased daughter, Eva, was a taboo subject in the village, no one, not even my siblings, could talk about her.

“Of course I do,” I answered tiredly, looking at you, wishing you would move, that you would open your eyes to end this torture. “You have done everything possible to get her back.”

“I have killed, I have done horrible things for her, and you know it better than anyone,” she commented in a low voice, as if she wanted to be more evil than me. Nobody could be. “Well, if there is someone to blame for this situation it is me, don't you think?”

I didn't respond, I didn't even move.

“Do you know what the difference is between you and me, Donna?” She asked, seeing my passivity, seeing that my mind was very far from her words. I shook my head, staring at the ground, at my bloody hands. “I don’t regret my actions.”

That sentence sent chills through my body, forcing me to look at the witch, who was looking back at me with those gray, empty eyes, impassive in the face of such a horrible statement.

“You love her, right?” Miranda asked with a softer voice. I nodded, I couldn't do anything else. “She loved you, Donna, she loves you.”

“But I don't... I have, I have failed her,” I said with a calmer voice, watching you every second, looking for the slightest sign of life in your body.

“Of course, that's why after everything you've done to her, she's stayed with you,” Miranda mocked, crying out the light cry of the baby, my daughter. “If you want to redeem yourself for your actions you can only do one thing...” she said, handing me the baby slowly. “Take care of your daughter.”

I nodded, looking at the small creature in my arms.

“Go home, Donna. I think we all need a break,” the witch said, standing up and checking the strange monitors you were connected to. I shook my head.

“No, I won't leave without (Y/N)” I protested, standing up, angering my savior again, who rolled her eyes, sighing listlessly.

“Very well, whatever you want... But if I find out that you neglect the baby, I will finish you off, is that clear?”

Thus the hours passed, the days.

I didn't leave your side, neither did Miranda. She watched you every day, but only for a while, I spent with you, with our daughter the remaining time. You didn't wake up, you didn't open your eyes and hope was slowly fading from my heart. But there was some truth in Miranda's words: I regretted it. I would be capable of anything to make you recover, even... Losing you.

“Okay, okay, Antonella it's maybe old-fashioned,” I said amused, sitting next to you like I always did, trying to talk to you, trying to get my voice to bring you back to my side.

“Angie, her name has to be Angie,” my doll said, my only company in my moments of loneliness.

“No, no way,” I said, looking at the baby, now looking better, with incipient black hair and bright eyes, my eyes. “Come on, (Y/N), give me a hand, this girl needs a name.”

My madness had relaxed, but I began to get unhinged, to talk to you as if you were there. You weren't there, and that was my fault.

“Please...” I sobbed, unable to continue pretending that I was happy, unable to make myself believe that everything was okay. “Please, (Y/N)...”

“No, no, no, no, no, Donna, no, don't break down again,” Angie said, getting on the stretcher and making gestures with her hands.

“Angie... I can't take it anymore...” I said with a broken voice. “I want her to come back.”

“Do you know the only thing that has to come back? Your knucklehead,” the doll protested, making me frown as the puppet watched the baby, trembling in my arms. “The girl… The girl, Donna.”

I composed myself, holding the baby properly, who was about to slip out of my arms. Maybe Miranda was right and I couldn't take care of it. It was all my fault.

“Come on, come on, you have to calm down, you don't help (Y/N) that way,” Angie said, helping me as she could, showing the rational side of her, my rational side.

“I can't...” I sighed desperately, holding back tears.

“Come on, cheer up, do you remember what nonna Giovanna said?”

“Quando ci vuole, ci vuole...” I repeated the old woman's words, those that called for responsibility, no matter how unpleasant or hard it was.

“That's right, you have to be strong, Donna, if not for yourself, do it for the baby.” I have to confess that Angie has never helped me that much. “Hey… What do you think about Giovanna?”

“Giovanna...” I sighed, looking at the girl, who had fallen asleep peacefully again, as if she were not in the arms of a dangerous madwoman.

“Yes, like the nonna, doesn't she seem great to you?” Angie said, excited.

I looked at the baby again, baby who took one of my fingers in her hands.

“Do you like Giovanna, my love?” I asked softly, getting used to the idea of ​​having to take care of that girl on my own, to thinking that you would never wake up.

“It’s a beautiful name...”

“Well, that's my grandmother's name,” I said, totally unaware of hearing that voice, that voice that I hadn't heard for so long.

“It seems perfect to me, Donna…”

“Yes, I think she likes it and...” I said, stopping immediately, turning pale and moving little by little, breathing with tremendous difficulty.

Your eyes, your eyes were open, your face showed a weak smile, but a smile. I was paralyzed when your hand rose to mine, caressing it slowly, trying to touch the girl in my arms.

“Gods...” I murmured nervously, I was out of breath. “(Y/N)...”

“It seems like I've been away for a while, right?” You asked, looking at me with tender eyes, with no resentment, lacking that guilt I carried on my shoulders.

I cried desperately, smiling, holding the baby while caressing your face, leaning down to kiss you, to feel your lips again.

“Gods, tesoro... My love...” I said repeatedly, wishing it wasn't a dream, one of many I had while I was taking care of you. Your laugh showed me that it wasn't.

“Hey, hey, don't worry, I haven't died, or so I think...” You joked, being yourself, as always, making me gasp at your lack of tact. “I'm alive, right?”

“Of course, of course, amore mio...” I said, crying, unable to stop doing so, happy and regretful at the same time. “You are alive…”

“Hey, hey, enough, don't overwhelm me, Donna,” you protested, seeing my unfailing displays of affection, all the kisses that covered your face.

“I'm sorry,” I said, confused, regretful, but euphoric. You had returned, my love, you had returned to me.

“Okay, okay... Hey, can you let me see that beautiful girl you have in your arms?” You asked, looking at your daughter, our daughter. I smiled, my vision blurred by tears, and nodded.

“Go with mom...” I whispered as I handed Giovanna to you.

“Hey, what a beautiful girl... What black hair you have...” You said amused, hugging the baby in a terribly tender way, like the mother you were, like the mother I couldn't be. “You're a little Donna, huh?”

The girl made a strange sound and our gazes met for a moment, when I began to calm down.

“Mom has been away for a while, but I see that mommy has taken good care of you, right? Gods, Donna, she is beautiful, she is a miracle,” you commented, looking at me with excitement, one that I did not expect to see again.

“The miracle is that you're back,” I murmured, exchanging happiness for sadness, for guilt. It was all my fault.

“I wasn't going to leave you alone so easily,” you joked, cradling the baby, slowly sitting up, weak, but alive, awake.

“You always take everything as a joke,” I said with a dark voice, annoyed by your indifferent attitude. Cazzo, (Y/N) you almost died because of me.

“You already know me,” you responded, as if you hadn't noticed my annoyance. “Um…” You sighed, seeing my distraught face, seeing how my hand moved away from your body. “Come on, relax.”

“Relax? How can you ask me to do that? I was about to kill you,” I said, breathing nervously again, with an uncontrollable hubbub of voices in my head.

You shook your head, eyebrows raised.

“What are you talking about? Whoa, whoa, mommy Donna really needs a break,” you joked, cradling the baby, talking to her instead of me.

“Well, of course I need a break, I've been here for two weeks taking care of you and you're just making fun of it,” I protested, angry but calm. No, I couldn't mess it up again. “It was all my fault, I almost lost you because of my selfishness, and you tell me to relax?”

“You made a mistake, yes, and I've already forgiven you,” you responded with a more serious tone, facing me as only you could do. “Don't spoil my resurrection, will you?”

“A mistake?” I asked ironically, getting up from the chair. “You should hate me.”

“How curious... Mommy says I hate her, but I don't, what do you think, Gio?” You continued joking, making anger rise through my veins.

“I almost killed you, I have destroyed your life, I have burdened you with the responsibility of a baby that you were not ready for and you don't care...” I said furiously, ignoring Angie's pulling on my dress.

“Your only mistake, Donna, was thinking that I didn't love you,” you said, with your cold expression, with tired, bright eyes. “You are not to blame for the pregnancy complications.”

“But I am to blame for the pregnancy,” I whispered, sitting down again, controlling my nerves, just as I learned for you. “I'm a monster.”

“Donna...” You whispered, getting closer to me, speaking in a way that I didn't deserve. “You are not, and you know why?”

I shook my head, sobbing again. I don't deserve your love, (Y/N).

“Because you regret it,” you said, immediately reminding me of Mother Miranda, who claimed that a monster would never regret her horrible acts. “Look, I know that maybe it wasn't the right way, I know that you did wrong, but we can't fix it now. I have forgiven you and also... Look, look what a precious little thing...” You said in a tender voice, showing me the baby who was lying calmly in your hands. “How can you regret having created something like that?”

“But…”

“Listen to me, Donna. I'm very sleepy and I don't feel like arguing with you anymore. You are not guilty of anything. You never lost me, you will never lose me. I love you, and I loved you then, I love you now, and I will always love you.”

“I love you too,” I whispered, sobbing, accepting your caresses.

“That's what matters. I can't forgive you because there is nothing to forgive. So pull yourself together, smile and let's be a happy family, what do you think?”

“I don't think I deserve it,” I said relaxed, sighing, letting all my fears out with the air. “But I will do everything possible to take care of you, to take care of both of you. I love you so much...”

[lpsotd]

important post ‼️ (kinda)

greetings and salutations. i am making this post to say two things !!

i am going to clear out my inbox !! at the time of me writing this, i have 418 asks and the more i look at them and watch them grow, i am filled with dread because i don't want to answer any of them. no offense to anyone, i love receiving and answering asks but i have somehow managed to allow over 400 of them pile up and it is very overwhelming. i am only one person and i cannot manage all of these, so i think my best course of action is to clear them out bottom to top and leave the most recent ones.

2. (this is the most important one) i am going on hiatus !! what i said about asks becoming overwhelming and dreadful also applies to running this blog as a whole. i love running this blog so much, it is my baby, but i would be lying if i said i don't open tumblr some days and go "uuugh" because i tell myself i have to log into here. i've been considering taking a break since early november, and my initial plan was to leave sometime before christmas, but that didn't exactly happen.

recently i have begun to experience what i can only call a "mini identity crisis", and i don't quite know who i am. i think what i need right now is to avoid any potential stress and take some time to figure myself out.

of course, i am not completely abandoning this blog !! i will be back eventually (most likely before my birthday on feburary 28th). the date is not certain, but know i will return !!

lpsotd is only being run by one person and i do not plan to change that. i consider this blog to be a work of passion and me adding someone else on to manage it may break what i have.

is this lengthy rant too much for a littlest pet shop blog? yes but i do not care.

i will stop answering asks and adding things to the queue after the horse tournament has concluded (in about a week) — i shall return whenever i am ready. thank you for understanding <3

[goat-fanatic]

Wait I'm actually lowkey really interested in the whole vampire thing and like how it works and stuff in your creature AU!! Could you explain please? /nf :3

hopefully you mean the biology and society around vampires so i dont look stupid... but yeah.

so in order to be turned, one has to be bit, then consume/come in contact with the sires blood, then die and boom you wake up a vampire! very important fact of this universe is that creatures and humans have been assimilated for centuries atp, so society has been built around that. humans and creatures dont attack eachother, and theres laws in place to accomodate all the different species that are part of the world. so vampires dont need human blood to survive since there are whole shops, restaurants, cafes and bars that base their products on animal blood/synthetic blood, cuz lets be honest plain blood would get pretty boring fast. vampires dont take any nutritional values from human food but can still eat it, even tho it does taste slightly different to them. for that reason drinking from humans is looked down on as animalistic and crude, and without the humans consent its plain illegal. ofc there are humans who are into being a 'drink' and theres communities and clubs in place for that sort of a thing. theres also humans who want to get turned and can do so after a psych and medical evaluation and a bunch of legal paperwork for both the human and the vampire. but again turning someone without consent and agreements is a crime. after turning the vampires body stays in roughly the same state as at the time of death (fun fact, thats why gee is colder and paler than most vampires, cuz he bled out so at the time of death his body was almost bloodless). it kinda freezes, thats why thwy dont have pulses but if yoy cut them they still bleed. they also have wacky fast healing which is great for small injuries but kinda sucks for bigger ones (again thats where gees chronic neck pains come from. the skin over his bite wound scarred very fast but his muscles and nerves didnt catch up so theyre all messed up resulting in frequent pains yowch). the only thing i could not get a ligical reason for is vamp gee aging but hey its my universe so behold the sciency medical aging pill/treatment engenereed for vamps wjo want to age along with their loved ones! the aging is still a bit slower than the regular kind but its something.

silly facts include twilight and other 2000s' sexy vampire movies being the unhealthy vampire beauty standard that some of them hate and are working to abolish. makeup companies are selling sparkly lotions for that skin of a killer look. also yes they get irritated by garlic but its more like an allergy. also my vamoires have two sets of fangs. and more batlike ears. and nocturnal eyes so sunglasses are on high demand. their skin is sensitive to sun but doesnt exactly burn, more like very potent to sunburn. and theyre nocturnal but just like humans, they can have fucked up sleep scheduels and kinda train themselves to function in the day, altough most dont do it. vampires gather in clans which are usually a few families or completely non blood related ppl froming a tight community. theres some slight differences between turned and born vampires and there are vampire purists who only accept born vampires as real ones. theres also some more conservative humans who dont like turned vampires for abandoning their humanity.

i think thats most of the stuff that matters but feel free to ask abt anything bcs im serious when i say i put an unnecessary amount kf tought into the worldbuilding of this thing lmao

[d3adlyromb3ar]

✰ sinking lily pads

— synopsis. he thrived in the sorcerer world, she was forced into it. how could two people that strayed so differently from each other become so close?

— pairing. gojo x oc!fem!reader (main), toji fushiguro x oc!fem!reader

— word count. 3.6k

— contents. heavy child abuse, torture, neglect, abandonment, angsty asf, injuries, blood/gore, depressing thoughts, suicidal ideation, dissociation, ptsd, mentions of death, jjk violence/fighting

— notes. sorry for the late updates, life's been busy but here ya go <3 enjoy!

series masterlist | previous chapter

✰ chapter five. this is who you’ve become, a monster

The odd thing about slowly spiraling into the realization that you're losing your soul— is the pure reminder that you still have one.

It was unsettling. Confusing. Completely frustrating to even accept that such thing would occur.

Hadn't I gone through enough? Moon wondered.

She had suffered through enough for someone's lifetime— why was it that life kept throwing obstacles her way. Testing time and time again if she was worthy of living in this world.

She knew she'd only grow worse as the days passed on, and that should've been a thought that terrified her— but somewhere within her, she felt she deserved the pain.

"I can't help but wonder it is you're thinking about Miss Dair. Nerves?" Geto had asked from her right.

She sent him a weak smile, one that seemed believable enough.

"Not exactly. I've just been thinking about the future, where I'll be in a couple years. Months. Days." She listed off, staying true to her word and trying to be more honest with her friends.

Odd, it still felt weird to call them friends. Of course that's exactly what they were to her— but she still had an instinct to push them away. Keeping them strictly classmates.

"I can see why that would keep you so distracted. It's kinda scary to think about, hm?" Geto admitted to his own fears and anxieties.

"Not me. I know exactly where I'll be and who I'll be in the future." Gojo stated confidently.

You rolled your eyes, while Geto almost did the same, instead asking him.

"Oh yeah, and what's that?"

Gojo lowered his glasses to the edge of his nose, meeting eyes with both Moon and Geto.

"I'll be with you guys, of course. Oh— and obviously I'll still be the strongest."

Geto and Moon looked at each other, soft smiles showing for a moment before the two broke into little giggles.

The trio walked in a comfortable silence for a little while longer, until Gojo suddenly shoved some bills in her hand.

Moon looked at him in question.

“I just remembered there’s a sweet treat shop around here, was wondering if you could go get me something?”

Moon couldn’t help the smile on her lips. Leave it to Gojo to have the biggest sweet tooth of anyone ever.

She also just couldn’t say no.

“Fine. What do you want?”

“Hmm… surprise me.”

Moon nodded, breaking off from the two and making her way towards the sweet shop— one she knew of already. Besides, her and Gojo had been to this sweet shop many times— years ago.

Moon picked out a few things, making sure to use up all the money he’d given her. Being sure to fill up the bag with lots of sweets— given that this mission might be a longer one than usual.

She thanked the employee, making her way outside. Before she could start heading back towards her friends, she bumped into someone’s shoulder— causing her to drop the bag of sweets— luckily nothing spilling.

She was apologizing before thinking.

“My apologies, I wasn’t looking where I was going.”

She didn’t even look up to the person, bending down to grab the bag. That was, until the person had grabbed the bag for her. She wasn’t at all interested in this person, that was until she saw the strong, veiny hand grab the tan colored bag.

It hadn’t clicked as weird that the person still didn’t say anything, instead standing upright— waiting for her to as well.

Moon straightened back up, her eyes finally meeting with the stranger. With a gasp, she realized that this wasn’t a stranger at all— in fact, it was a little more haunting than that.

“T-toji?”

Toji stood tall, physique blanketed in a black sweater, a smirk on his lips as he gazed down at her.

“Long time no see darling.”

Moon shuttered, as she hadn’t heard his voice in so long. Although as years had passed since the last time she saw him— his voice was so much deeper and rougher. His hair was longer, still looking as unkept as it had been. She wondered for a moment if this even was him— but the scar on the corner of his mouth was all the proof she needed.

“You… you aren’t real…” She whispered to herself, thinking this was just a hallucination.

Toji was dead. That’s what the Zenin’s told you. He was dead. He had to be dead.

“Sorry to disappoint you, but I’m very much real.”

Moon had to control the familiar burn starting within her nose, the threat of tears from his words.

‘Sorry to disappoint you’ He had said.

Moon wanted to scream at him that it was quite the opposite. To think she ever wanted Toji dead, the mere possibility making her sick to her stomach. When the Zenin’s had informed her of Toji’s death, she was devastated. Crippled from the information. He was the one thing that was keeping her together while she was stuck there. He couldn’t possibly think that she thought any other way.

Although standing in front of him now, where had he gone? Did he escape? How was he hidden from her all those last years, where she suffered with the Zenin’s alone?

“I don’t understand…”

“No, you wouldn’t really. It’s a long story I suppose, but I don’t really care to tell you about it.” He was cold.

Moon wasn’t shy of this kind of behavior from him, but he was colder than he’d ever presented himself as.

“Besides, I’m here on business sweets. I don’t have time for a reunion.” He muttered, “You’re looking good though, see you have been doing well. Living that sorcerer life, huh?”

His words seemed kind, but it was everything but that. They were back handed, clearly noting how the years hadn’t been kind to her.

Moon didn’t know what to say. She was closer to crying than she’d been in a long time. She felt her mask slipping through her fingers.

Toji tilted his head in amusement at her stunned expression.

“You this surprised to see me?”

She kept staring at him like she was looking at a ghost, unable to accept he was really standing here.

“I thought you were dead.” She whispered finally.

Toji just stared at her, eyes narrowing in on her face— almost studying every one of her micro expressions.

“You thought wrong.”

Her hand twitched at her side, desperate to touch him— feel that he was really there. But he seemed so, different, so much more harsh than she remembered. She didn’t think he’d appreciate her touch.

She swallowed, choosing the change the subject— even though she wanted to sit down and talk with him, going over every moment they missed since they last saw each other.

“You said you were here for business… what do you mean by that?”

He tilted his head, an amused expression on his face.

“Curious, aren’t we?” He commented, “I don’t think that’s important for you to know.”

It was her turn to squint her eyes, studying him now. He was being so vague and mysterious— why?

“I need to get going now.” He announced, handing her the bag of sweets.

She took it hesitantly, her eyes glued on his smug look. He just looked like he knew something she didn’t.

She didn’t know why she was all of a sudden getting a horrible out in her stomach from his presence— especially after he used to be such a light in her life. Years ago that was, but still.

She nodded in thanks before turning quickly to head back to her friends, not even giving him a goodbye. She was quickly halted in her escape, Toji’s hand grabbing onto her arm harshly.

“Hey,” She glanced back at him, “Let’s meet up later, yeah?”

She could only stare back at him, his touch on her arm making her go back into a stunned silence— confirming that he was indeed real. Her Toji was standing right in front of her. Her heart was beating quickly in her chest as she glanced down to his hand wrapped around her arm.

She swallowed before nodding, unable to speak from her small state of shock.

At that, he released her arm, stepping back with his eyes still on her— before he turned and walked away. Disappearing into the crowd of people walking across the street.

She didn’t watch his figure for too long, turning and quickly making her way back to Gojo and Geto, desperately trying to calm her racing heart.

The stares from people she passed went unnoticed, the confused glances sent her way as people saw her panicked state— her pace almost matching a sprint.

Moon couldn’t accept who she saw. She had to, but her mind was at war. Everything she believed— crumbling before her eyes. The lies, the stories— how much of what the Zenin’s told her was true?

She wanted to feel relieved from seeing Toji alive, but instead she felt sick. She felt messed with, her mind a game board for the Zenin’s to fiddle with. She hadn’t prepared herself to be forced back into the mindset— the mindset when she had heard Toji was dead.

It was the blurry memory of the years that passed after that, the horrid nights. The sweaty men visiting her at the late hours— the violation of it all. It came crashing into her, as she didn’t have any walls up. Nothing strong enough to keep the past from haunting her yet again.

Without Toji to cling to, it was hell— and to think he was alive the whole time made her sick. Had he hid away from her? Had he escaped without her? Why wasn’t he there?

Why wasn’t he there? Why wasn’t he there?? Why wasn’t he there???

She flinched backwards, her face colliding with a sturdy chest. If she was in her right mind, she would’ve smelled the familiar scent.

“Woah Nines! Where are you in a rush to?” The white haired sorcerer joked.

Moon went frozen in his hold, his hands on the sides of her arm to hold her upright— they felt foreign to her all of a sudden. The memory of the filthy men consuming her.

Gojo noticed her scared expression, his brows furrowing as he leaned down closer to her.

“Nines?” He tried again.

Her eyes shot up to his, her eyes wide and full of fear— her look making Gojo sick to his stomach. Never did he want her to look at him like that.

“Hey hey, you alright?”

Moon’s eyes danced from eye to eye, forcing herself to be familiar with his hypnotic blue orbs.

It was Gojo. It was only Gojo. She forced herself to remember.

Gojo couldn’t stand seeing her like this, his own anxiety bubbling within him.

“Moon, look at me,” He gently grabbed her chin, tilting her head up to level his face, “What happened?”

Her body shivered, the wave of warmth unexpected from his gesture. Her body relaxing slightly at his presence suddenly. Her bottom lip trembled as she fought her hardest to keep the tears from exposing themselves.

Gojo watched while he held his breath, patient as ever as he waited for a response. Although he never got one, instead she crashed herself against him. Burying herself into his embrace so desperately. Almost as if she was trying to hide from the world.

“Hey, Moon… it’s okay. I’ve got you… shhh.” He cooed, one of his hands cradling the back of her head while the other pressed tightly to the small of her back. “You’re okay. You’re okay… I’ve got you now.”

As much as she wished to slap herself out of this pathetic state, she only clung to his jacket with desperation. Her face buried into his chest, her tears drenching the fabric.

Gojo was confused— unsure of what brought on this reaction from her. However, he didn’t need an explanation right away. If it was comfort she so needed, he’d provide her with just that. If only she knew of how far Gojo would willingly go for her. He’d do anything she so asked.

The amount of power she held over him was terrifying— but he let her.

The only indication he got proving that she was crying, was the small jumps her body did every so often. Her sobs silenced by his chest, and by herself trying so hard to stay quiet. His heart throbbed within him, he himself hurting for her.

What came with the empathy, also came the rage. The primal desire to hunt and destroy whatever had caused you such pain. He was protective when you were in such a state, especially when you clung to him like this. He felt like he could destroy the whole world in the blink of an eye if it were the cause of your pain. He’d do it in a heartbeat.

As he thought before, you had so much power over him. It chilled him to his core.

Moon activated her cloaking technique, the ability bleeding onto him— and soon they were both hidden from the world.

Gojo felt the surprisingly pleasant buzzing sensation from Moon’s technique being used. Cloaking was quite useful in battles against enemies who didn’t know how to counter it— all the more useful when Moon could make others invisible as well.

Although he didn’t dwell on the pleasant buzz for long, instead curious as to what brought out this fear within her. This deep fear that made her want to hide.

“Moon, you gotta tell me what’s going on? You’re kinda scaring me.” He whispered, petting her hair down in the back of her head.

Moon pulled back, avoiding his concerned eyes as she pulled him gently to an empty alley. Gojo allowed her to lead him.

Only then when they were hidden away from prying eyes did she release her cloaking, the familiar ache in her head from use.

Gojo’s brows were drawn in, his expression soft as he stayed patient but it was clear he was eager to know what the cause of her distress was.

Moon sucked in a shaky breath, her hands trembling at her sides, her fingers fiddling with the ends of her uniform.

“I haven’t been completely transparent about my past.” Her voice was shaky, strained with fear. “For that, I’m sorry.”

Gojo was quick with the shake of his head, taking a step forward towards her.

“Moon, don’t you dare apologize.”

“It’s only fair you know. All my weird behavior. The stuff I…” She trailed off, her thoughts wandering back to their conversation days ago, “The things I hinted at… you deserve to know everything.”

Gojo held a pained look, not liking her need to reveal her past. Not that he’d mind. He’d be willing to hear her out whenever and by the ear she needed— but he couldn’t help but feel like she was forcing herself to bring up her past when she didn’t want to.

“You don’t have to tell me anything. Only if you want to.” He told her, holding her gaze with intensity.

Suddenly he wanted her back in his arms. His body felt colder without her touch.

“I want to.” Her voice was calm, her eyes holding his so deeply it had Gojo stirring up old feelings he tried to bury down.

He swallowed through a tight throat, nodding to her as his only response. 

She walked closer to him, causing Gojo’s hands to twitch at his sides. He wanted to hold her, needed to.

“You know I come from the Zenin Clan. Not blood but, that was my home for a while.” She told him, her voice barely a whisper. Like she was afraid of someone hearing. 

Gojo nodded, listening with unease. 

“I met someone there when I was young. They brought me comfort and we quickly became friends. He was one of the reasons I held on for so long– kept me sane.” Her lips couldn't help but quirk up from the memory of her and Toji so small.

Meanwhile, Gojo’s eyes narrowed. He? 

“He?” He hadn’t meant to voice his thoughts, but he was curious– jealous. 

Moon glanced up and read his expression. 

“His name was Toji.” The name felt bitter off of her lips, which saddened her. It hadn’t ever been like that– felt like that. 

“He was a Zenin?” 

“Born into the clan, yes.” She answered before chewing her lip. 

Gojo knew she hadn’t made her point yet, the storytelling only building up to something he probably wasn’t prepared for. 

“I saw him today.” She mumbled, Gojo barely catching it. 

His brows furrowed and he wondered.

“Was that why you were upset?” 

Moon nodded, the memories of the reunion only moments ago flashing in her mind. 

“Did he hurt you?” His voice was colder, more detached as he became protective– possessive. 

Moon closed the distance and grabbed onto his arms, forcing him to gaze into her eyes. 

“No, not physically at least.” Her words hadn’t comforted him like he hoped. “He was just… different from the last time I saw him. Just shocked me.” 

His eyes softened at her vulnerability, her willingness to be so open and honest. All because she wanted to. It warmed his heart as much as it pained him to know about her past. 

“I know it’s stupid to be upset about that but… he is the only good thing I cling to when it comes to my past.” She rushed out, while Gojo was now leaning down and looking into her eyes. 

“You need to stop apologizing. It’s okay to be upset. You’ve been through a lot.” He reassured her, rubbing his hands up and down her arms, her body relaxing from the sensation. 

She nodded and crushed herself to his chest, her arms looping around his lower back. She could feel his one second of surprise before he was caging himself around her. Finally, his body felt warm again. 

“Thank you.” She breathed.

“Don’t.” He mumbled into her hair, the memory of younger Toji’s voice echoing just as Gojo had said. 

With what she thought would bring unpleasant emotions, the moment only brought her comfort. A healing of her younger self. She didn’t think it was possible, but by his side it felt like it.

[thepaintedsable]

Uh oh, who let me into a fandom again? Who left the niche within a niche door open??? Y’all should know better.

@sm-baby’s Carnival AU for The Amazing Digital Circus grabbed me by the bootstraps with??? Inspiration??? Not only have I dodged most fandoms and the motivation to draw fanart (not that I don’t want to show support; just no ideas in the noggin), but I genuinely don’t think I’ve sat down and put a non-ironic, genuine OC for a media I like on paper since my Warrior Cats/Creepypasta era. This AU didn’t just get me to sit down and make an OC that fits with the original media, but one that fits with their derivative. I saw other people doing it and it looked like so much fuunnn.

First, have standard TADC version! Either that or a player.

This is Tuus! They’re mainly based on the beanie baby dragon to fit that sweet sweet 90s theme, but generally a mixture of beloved childhood toys I have sitting on my shelf. She’s scruffy, worn, and kinda dirty looking and that’s on purpose. She’s bottom heavy, and I wanted her wings to give off the texture of that basically-plastic shiny fabric you used to see on a lot of toys.

No mouth, but a randomly appearing lizard tongue. For fun.

Tuus deals with the circus by sleeping. A lot. Too much. If you don’t need to sleep, then you don’t need to be awake. If she’s doing to be trapped in a digital hell, she might as well be catching up on her naps. And she will sleep in the worst places. Time for a digital feast? She’s on the table. Caine wants to have an adventure in the lake? Girl is at the bottom. Sleeping with the fishes fr fr. And you need to find her one day? Nowhere to be seen, probably on the roof.

It’s playing on the whole big, lazy, sleeping dragon thing that used to be in a lot of children stories I remember. But also how well loved childhood toys seem to pop up and disappear, there when you aren’t looking but gone when you are. Her name also means “Your” or “Thy.” Your dragon.

BUT AT THE CARNIVAL?

What amusement park is complete without a gift shop? What game doesn’t have a place to buy goofy digital goods? Tuus is the big lady in charge of the gift place of the Carnival! Her room is what should have been a shop of sorts, to buy whatever products that darned company would have tried to push. Cosmetics, virtual toys, digital snacks, whatever. But, uh, I don’t think anyone told them dragons don’t like to…. share. Becoming sentient did wonders for the attitude. You should be just fine if you don’t make too much noise, though! She’s a lazy lizard, and often sleeps sprawled around the place. I imagine the level would be set up like a maze, or a labyrinth. Isles and isles of things, with peaks of a tail or smoke every now and again. Toys, clothing, and even random things that shouldn’t be in there just trash the path. It’s your job not to step on anything! It’s different each time, though (a speed runner’s nightmare). One level you might get lucky and have a straight shot with a sleeping dragon, the next there might be so many things it’s physically impossible to reach any exit at all. Potentially can get out of trouble with some digital coin™, but you’ll have to have found enough hidden in the room to forgive each “damaged item.”

Here she is much, MUCH larger and far cleaner. An oversized display never meant to be bought. A collectors item far too expensive for a child. Think “I used to be a beloved toy and now I’ve been forgotten, even forgetting myself, and this is how I cope” favor VS “I have never known the touch of a person and have been trapped on this shelf only to be abandoned and have the personality of an unsocialized dog” flavor.

She has no mouth, but she bites.

I want to draw more of her :) She’s a goof.

[reddit-007]

AMAZON HAULT DISSCUSSION

Everything is less than $20 (much less, for the most part) and items arrive in one to two weeks, going completely against the grain of the company’s larger push for faster and faster shipping times.

From a business perspective, it’s a sector that the Seattle-based e-commerce giant could no longer ignore. With Temu’s U.S. e-commerce market share projected by eMarketer to grow from 0.7% this year to 2.3% next year, Haul seems like an obligatory experiment for Amazon, at least, and maybe a critical long-term move.

For now, Amazon Haul is mobile-only.

The best way to access it, in my experience, is to search for “Haul” in the search bar in the Amazon app. It’s filled with the tricks of the trade from this e-commerce genre, with playful language encouraging you to buy enough for free shipping, and more nudging after that for additional discounts.

As a member of Generation X, I’m probably not in the target demographic. (OK, definitely not.) I’ve glanced at Shein and Temu in the past, never actually ordered. I’m not a regular TikTok user, let alone an aficionado of TikTok Shop.

That said, I’m a longtime Amazon customer and Prime subscriber, like much of the U.S. population, so maybe I’m representative of the company’s opportunity to introduce these concepts to its larger customer base.

Here are my off-the-cuff thoughts after my first Amazon Haul experience.

This is a lot of crap. Scrolling down the list of items such as $4.99 wrist straps for weightlifting, $4.99 silicon dish drying mats, $2.73 oval shoelaces for sneakers, and $2.99 decorative outdoor solid throw pillow covers, it felt like rooting through abandoned items in the back of a warehouse — which might not be that far off.

My cart had lots of “lonely vibes” for a while while I tried to identify enough items that I would actually use to reach the $25 minimum needed for free shipping.

I ended up using the search bar to find items such as a $1.99 six-pack of adjustable cable organizers, an $8.79 pair of mesh zipper pouches for office supplies, a $3.99 desktop cell phone stand, a $6.99 small screwdriver set, and a $5.99 electronic cable organizer and accessories carrying case.

Yes, that was quite a haul! OK, I’ll admit I’m not immune to the dopamine that comes from treating shopping as entertainment. Looking at my cart, I was starting to see the appeal. My subtotal was $27.75, and the grand total after tax was $30.62, with a promise to arrive sometime between Nov. 21 and Nov. 25.

I can’t remember buying five different items for $30 on Amazon in the past. And it’s kinda fun to know that I’ve got various products arriving in a week or so. I’ll probably forget what I ordered in the meantime, making the experience more along the lines of receiving a surprise gift from myself.

With no small amount of guilt about the implications of modern consumerism, and recognizing my contribution to the demise of humanity, I could envision making a monthly (or weekly?) Amazon Haul order if the browsing experience was more tailored to me, and it wasn’t so tough to find items that I would want to buy.

Which leads to my last big takeaway …

Amazon Haul isn’t yet leveraging the company’s biggest strengths. The beta of Amazon Haul is largely disconnected from the existing Amazon shopping experience, as of now. The company clearly isn’t using what it knows about me and my buying/browsing history to target items to me that I’d be more inclined to like.

From the outside, given all the company’s expertise in e-commerce, this seems like a trivial enhancement to make, and one that could dramatically change not only the experience of using Amazon Haul but also the volume of orders.

In the meantime, I’m looking forward to trying out that cell phone stand and adjustable cable cords in the next week or so. I’ll post an update about the receiving experience after I get my first Amazon Haul. Credit : Seo Blogger _____________ Start With Amazon Haul Here !

[melonthesprigatito]

Had an absolutely peak Build a Bear experience last weekend. I only ever get to go to Build a Bear once every couple of years because the nearest store is 70+ miles away and we just happened to be going to that city for a Christmas day trip :)

In summary:

Couldn't find a Riolu (AKA the entire reason I wanted to go to Build a Bear in the first place) Before you say "But Riolu is online exclusive?" Well, this particular Build a Bear shop is a big cheating cheater. They put their online stock on the shelves even if they're probably not supposed to. I got a Glaceon and a Pikachu from that store and they had plenty of OTHER Pokémon in store, just not Riolu

Made the incredible discovery that they sell BLUEY AND BINGO Build a Bears!!! I found out about that months ago but I completely forgot about it so it felt like discovering it all over again. Anyway I picked up Bingo

Showed the deflated/ unstuffed Bingo to my sibling and, they immediately responded with "Oh my god they killed her!" Other sibling walked into the store shortly after, and said almost the exact thing word for word, but for the Blueys instead. Just stopped and said "They killed Bluey. They killed him." which led to Sibling 1 and 3, and a random bystander child to correct him that Bluey is, in fact, a girl. I had the opportunity to crack a "Build a Bear is technically necromancy joke I learned from Tumblr

It was like, EXTREMELY BUSY. The kind of busy where there's barely any space to move around. Including the staff. There was this one employee standing there, handing out stickers as I was queueing to get Bingo stuffed and he was like "Do you want a sticker? :)" and I was like, yeah sure because why not, but the sticker ripped as he was pulling it off and that was the last sticker in the roll he was holding. This man, god love him, he was DETERMINED to get me a sticker. He just straight up said "I'll be right back" and abandoned me in the queue before I could say "Oh it's okay, I don't need a sticker" leaving me standing there, feeling SUPER guilty because holy shit it's really busy, I'm inconveniencing that guy over a sticker I only half heartedly agreed to😭. But he did get me a sticker. Remember that, because it had consequences later.

My dad started a conversation with the sticker guy, just making small talk like "Oh, you're really busy today." and the sticker guy responded with "Oh, we're usually busy on the weekends" and said something about how Christmas is just EXTRA busy. My dad said he was a brave man for coming into work that day.

Sibling 3 took an interest in the axolotl Build a Bear and my mother fell in love with this little brown fluffy bear but neither of them bought one

The lady at the stuffing machine was great! The stuffing machine was really long and there were maybe three or four people getting their bears stuffed at the same time I was. At first I was a little sheepish about being a grown ass woman getting a Bingo Build a Bear so I admitted as much to the stuffing lady but she was really supportive about it. Apparently she worked part time at a primary school at some point and they used to show kids episodes of Bluey first thing in the morning and eventually she got more excited to watch it than the kids were. I was so distracted by the conversation that my foot slipped off the pedal and I only noticed when the Stuffing Lady was looking around like 'where's the stuffing???' and I apologised about it. Apparently that kind of thing happens a lot.

Stuffing lady asked me if it was a special occasion (foreshadowing) and I was like, nah, I just felt like getting a Bingo because why not, Bingo is great and a different stuffing lady within earshot, who was also stuffing a Bingo agreed with me. The kid who was getting his Bingo stuffed looked so excited because the adults were talking about how cool Bingo was.

I kinda jumped the gun and picked a heart out of the basket before I was asked to and she commented on it like "Wow you've been here before/ you know what you're doing!" I didn't think much of it at the time and only realised a few hours later while browsing the Build a Bear Tumblr tag that I might have accidentally thrown her off her game a little because both of us forgot that you're supposed to make a wish and do a ceremony to fill the heart with love before you put it into the bear.

I asked if I could get a cotton candy scent and the Stuffing Lady went "Of course you can get a cotton candy scent!" She let me sniff the resealable bag to see if I liked the smell, then she rubbed it all over Bingo. I don't know if it's part of Build a Bear procedure or if she was just playing along, but she very noticeably rubbed the scent over Bingo's nose as if she wanted to let her smell it.

The next part is filling out a birth certificate. I typed Bingo's name into the tablet thing, then my first name. My mum suggested I leave age part blank but it pulled up a "Please fill in all fields before continuing." error message and my mum didn't like that. Honestly, I agree with her, why does Build a Bear need my age??

The lady at the checkout ALSO asked me if it was a special occasion (more foreshadowing) and I was like, nah. Paid for Bingo and a waterproof drawstring carry bag to put her in instead of the house box. I was planning on getting the bag because Storm Darragh was raging outside. It fuckn WIMDY. It was raining a lot too. I almost forgot the birth certificate and so did she. I asked for the birth certificate, and she turned around to the printer, picked up a certificate, read it and asked "Is it Bingo?" (As in, asking if I named my bear Bingo) I mention this because the second those words left her mouth she had a look on her face like she thought she had just asked a stupid question.

There was also a birthday party happening. I saw a group of kids wearing paper Build a Bear birthday crowns and all of them had their own Build a Bear.

I only found out once I took my coat off later, that the sticker I was wearing the entire time had a message along the top that I hadn't noticed. It said "Birthday Wishes at Build a Bear." It was one of those stickers that you had to fill in your name so I just thought I was wearing my name on my coat…. The ENTIRE TIME, those Build a Bear employees thought it was my birthday! And I was walking around with a dopey expression, completely oblivious to the fact I was a walking "It's Her Birthday!" sign. I thought it was just part of their script to ask if it was a special occasion, so I didn't catch on.

Anyway here is Bingo Supreme

[cha-melodius]

hii!! for the director's commentary asks, i'd love to hear bout the celebrities' bakeoff au 'All The Old Showstoppers', the cheese shop worker!Henry AU 'Will You Brie Mine?; and lastly, 'Please Don't Let Me Be So Understood'!! ⭐Feel free to talk about any sections you'd like!⭐

Ooh ok tidbits for each:

All the Old Showstoppers: I’d always wanted to write a Bake Off AU but a FULL Bake Off season was gonna really require a long multichap to do it justice. I realized that I could do a Celebrity Bake Off AU and that’d be only two days of actual Bake Off. Of course it still took me 20k but that was a lot more manageable when I was just coming off a 66k fic. I loved the idea of Alex and Henry coming together a little later, having had a few more years to mellow out. A lot of people assume Alex has already had his bi awakening in this fic based on how he flirts with Henry, but I’m honestly agnostic on that front; tbh I feel like he might have started having thoughts but never really completed that journey until Henry (kinda like movie Alex I guess, though this was written before!). Also keep an eye out for more ATOS trivia later lol, I have another ask for this one.

Will You Brie Mine?: written for a prompt for ‘Harrods food hall’ by @tintagel-or-cockleshells, I considered Henry at a few different counters (pastry, chocolate), but ultimately decided cheese because of Henry’s canonical cheese recs in Paris. I did a bunch of research like “most unusual cheeses” to find ones that’d be lots of fun and also romantic. I took a while picking out the right fancy Mexican cheese, but my faves are probably the tete de moine and the story behind the Neufchâtel, because I got to have Alex call it ‘occupier cheese’.

And oh goodness, Please Don’t Let Me Be So Understood: god I was terrified to post this fic because it was SO difficult to write all those therapy sessions and I wasn’t sure people were gonna want to read 20k of therapy?? And it performed beyond my wildest dreams tbh. I wrote the initial setup for this and then almost abandoned it when I started doing research about couple’s therapy because I was convinced I couldn’t pull it off. I didn’t want it to be a caricature of therapy, I wanted it to be real. But I posted a snippet of it and @celeritas2997 came into my dms to yell at me about it and also to offer her professional assistance, which made me feel a lot better. She’s the entire reason it got written, so everyone say “thank you, Cee!”

My favorite therapy session to write was the ‘sex talk’ one for obvious reasons lol, but also because it features Alex ‘coming out’ in therapy before he’s fully realized that he’s bisexual, and I just loved that moment so much. Another fun fact is that this is the second time I’ve written a Coney Island date into a fic (the other is a different fandom). I guess I just love a Coney Island date. 😂

(Fanfic Writers: Director’s Cut)

[fbs-fc-ur-mommy]

Context :Letting your sarcasm out during training with Yuji as a joke won't be bad right?

Warnings:slight angst, SMUT, p in v, female genitals, training, biting, choking, degradation, semi-public, reader being slapped, no verbal consent but reader wants it. Enemies to fck buddies?

Rewrited version

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Traning with Yuji was boring so was your life. Being too strong to be one grade but too weak to be special grade was frustrating, training every day for 4 years, abandoning your life and dedicating yourself for your big sister revenge which died from an special grade...

You remember the day when your sister died in your arms, as you begged to describe the monster but she was keeping declining you saying to never step in the jujutsu word. In the last breath she gave up and told you only the name " Mahito" as she closed her eyes, an tear touched your palm resting on her cheek, as you yelled trought tears that no matter what you will became and jujutsu sorcerer and will avenge her, screaming so hard that your throat burned hoping that she heared you. She didn't. You couldn't accept the reality holding her like your favorite doll and crying above her head hoping that your tears will woke her up.

After some time, things went smoothly soon Megumi or the known Toji the "Sorcerer killer" joined jujutsu school, then an abnormal boy joined too his name was Yuji Itadori and he was the vessel of "King of curses" he was an funny, optimistic boy and you couldn't but fell attached to him, ignoring your feelings you keep in mind that you have an revenge for not only your family but your sister too. There was an girl too her name was Nobara you we're now beasties, shopping together doing your hair and nails and even going to the most painful Brazilian wax in your life. The first encounter with Sukuna was awkward, he keep saying that if" god" exist it's fucking me. You could only nod and smile hoping that he will leave you alone. He was making you kinda uncomfortable so you tried avoid Yuji, but...

Gojo told you to train yuji tough you didn't know why, Yuji was exactly the opposite of your technique. He was based on force, heavy punchs and kicks and lack of agility and mobility wich you have but not the physical force and stamina. You tried teaching yuji how to be faster and predict the opponents movement's, looking at the shoulders, gaze, toes, elbows and knees.

As you went 1v1 you had an huge advance, as you won again and again you couldn't help but let your sarcasm out. Looking down at him you've said

-Already giving up Yuji? How pathetic - you laughed in his face as you stared at each other you couldn't observe that Yujis face hardened and became more sharp and in a blink in a eye a hand at your throat and being now down you looked up scared, you make eye contact with Sukuna smirking at you and a hand trought Yujis hair.

-How about training with me too y/n-Sukuna said with a sarcastic tone

Not letting him that your being anxious you replied with the same sarcasm tone.

-I don't wanna scratch the my "king"

-I will let you do that do my back only

Without thinking you attacked with your cursed poisoned katana aiming for his left right wich he didn't even dodge it. As your katana pierced his eye and went trought his skull he didn't even even flinch in pain.

-What kind of katana is this? It looks it will break at the slightest touch- Sukuna said as he stepped back and you jumped back too and pulled your katana out his eye

-Are you serious? How weak and pathe-

As he kneeled in pain and vomiting blood you watched as his face became unrecognizable , you were hoping that he won't die...he can't die, if he dies Yuji will die too.

As you watched at him from distance, he suddenly stopped vomiting and moving and he raised his face and was completely fine? How can he smile like that? You know that your poison hurts like hell so what's his secret? As he stand up and his smile turned more and more evil or angry he said

-Do you think that you can exorcize me? You an pathetic sorcerer who can't even kill an curse without your little katana? How can you even name yourself sorcerer. You will pay for making me kneel You - You 𝘉𝘪𝘵𝘤𝘩

As in a blink in a eye his fist was close to your eyes, blocking it with your katana the power of the punch making you almost fly, looking at him panicked, your sarcastic mask now off you tried controlling your breath and heart, feeling like it could explode from the adrenaline .

-ARE YOU CRAZY?! THAT COULD KILL ME!

screaming in tops of lungs your throat on fire and your lungs begging now for air.

-That's my purpose "sukuna told you calmly as he didn't have almost an tantrum 1 min ago." felling your smile grow on your face you put your left hand over your mouth trying not to laugh, trough some giggles could be heard. Sukuna feel like he's gonna burst in a million pieces, nobody but nobody not even that white haired retard could make him soo angry. He wanted to punch that face till her face would be unorganized her hair being wet with her own blood, her stupid brains on the floor, he wants to destroy her insides, to struggle with her own guts and breaking her bones like they are matches. As he continued to look at her, he feeled more and more angry, he needs to kill her NOW.

-I'm not stupid I know that you've made an pact with yuji. You can't hurt or kill anyone when your out. "As you put your left hand over your chest " Know your place fool" you said that with an serious tone trying to act like him. Expecting some tantrum again from him he surprisingly he didn't instead an big smile on his face appeared.

-I have other methods of putting you in your place "as he said that you only could ask yourself what he mean by that. Letting your guard down he take advantage of that, teleporting behind you he trow himself on you making you fall hard on your stomach before you could reposition again an heavy weight was placed on your back and one big hand tying behind your back. The position was making your back arch in pain but it also feels... Like an situation in a smut book you've readed, remembering that scene maked you blush a little. Feeling a hand in your hair, making you snap your head back meting his eyes, the ones you've fallen for.

-I will enjoy every second of you in pain bitch "as he said that the hand holding your hands began cutting your first layer of skin dangerously close to your right breast making you moan quietly. Realizing that you actually enjoy this, he couldn't believe his eyes, not still believing he did that again, the face expression confirming his suspicious. "This woman is incredible, I've never meet one so sick like her, disgusting slut, I like it"

Pinching your niple trought your uniform you tried to squirm away.

-Listen here bitch let me have your body and I will let your live and train your pathetic body for your revenge. Hearing this you only nodded trought if you tought about it, you'd be doing it for even free, you hated yourself for being such and slut opening her legs for an curse. As you felt cold air on your skin making your nippes go hard he ripped of your pants and your top letting it fall till it reached your armpits. Letting your bra fall off you almost cried of humiliation. You're were supposed to hate this curse, to kill him he was an monster like the monster that killed your sister too but there you are soaking wet for the curse cock. And as the final cloth went ripped off, he didn't even prepared you, you were soaked wet what's the purpose of it? Thrusting his whole length in one thrust you gasped in shock and pain. You didn't had the time to look at his cock but good, he was more than average, filing you up so perfectly his head kissing your cervix so beautiful that your pussy clenched at the thought of being filed up with his seed. His pace went mode brutal one not even slight mercy for it, it was your fault for making him mad so you need to be put in your place, God your pussy feels like heaven, her gummy walls and her soft moans was hard for him to keep the neutral face on. You were in pure a bliss but the fear feeling got quickly on when you heared footsteps in the hall, looking behind your shared an look but he didn't care instead he only got faster and harder, feeling your orgasm comin. When the footsteeps were almost at the takamaya door you screamed "don't come in I wanna be alone" you've said in a fake tone

-what happened y/n? Nobara voice could be heard of the opposite side.

-I, I will explain later now leave me alone!

Hearing their footsteps leaving you relaxed so much only for to he crashed to your orgasm, your walls tightening so much that it was to much for sukuna making him cum. Felling him filing up you smirked "that fast huh? Feeling am sharp pain on your cheek and your blood in your mouth Sukuna grabbed you and flipped on your back, pushing his pink angry cock inside you again he promised that you will regret it.

He keeped his promise, you could only cry" Can't tak-take nng much more "hoping that he will forgive you and your silly jokes only and only to be insulted and slapped over and over" Already giving up y/n? How pathetic! "You could only beg and scratch your kings back all the night.

Next day as you sit beside Yuji in the class you could see the flurstared boy side eyeing you, not wanting letting the boy left you only grabbed his hand pushed him in your room, closed the room and only told him to sit as you started unbutton your blouse.

---------------------------------------------------

If u think this is cringe asf just wait for the og story ☠️

[aneenasevla]

Red Velvet - Chapter 10 part 2

MasterList / Akane’s profile / Last chapter here

Chapter 10 - Thrift Store Wars (part 2)

Lihito sends the pic of him holding the prized red rug in the group chat. It didn't take long for the answers to come in, and they came in all degrees of confusion.

Gigolo_Master: 

dude what the hell is that??

GiantKiller: 

?????

What happened to your eye?!

EggHead: 

ffs should’ve known this would happen sooner or later

alright, where are you hiding the body? Need our help?

Kelpthullu: 

relax, he’s just happy he had a successful hunt 

it’s a rug

EggHead: 

huh

a rug??

looks like a monster right outta shadow of the colossus to me

why the hell do you want a rug??

Kelpthullu: 

he’s here at the bakery bragging his ass off

I don’t blame him though, he deserves it

I heard it was a brutal battle

with old ladies branding sledgehammers and everything

lots of kicks and blows too

GiantKiller: 

???¿¿¿

Wait, you’re serious?

You aren’t joking, Ohma?

What about that emoji? You forgot the emoji, man!

Kelpthullu: 

I’m serious

he’s got a black eye and everything

EggHead: 

yeah, awesome, but that doesn’t answer the question

WHY THE HELL DO YOU NEED A RUG 😳😳😳

AND ONE THAT CAME STRAIGHT OUTTA SOME VINTAGE PORN

Gigolo_Master: 

Did you decide to abandon your pride and finally fuck someone on top of those?

Mr_Iron_Fingers: 

calm yo ass down egghead

the rug isn’t mine

it’s Akane’s 

I got it for her 

😎

Kelpthullu: 

with means he got himself into an epic brawl to get it for her

I’m proud of this bastard for the first time in years

Mr_Iron_Fingers: 

fuck you tokita

but yeah, I’m proud of myself too!

Gigolo_Master: 

wait

no, wait

I’ll need a better explanation 

Kelpthullu: 

(answering to @Mr_Iron_Fingers) you already fucked yourself enough for both of us 

was it any good? 😎😎

Mr_Iron_Fingers:

🖕

GiantKiller: 

Seriously, explain what happened, for god’s sake!

What’s up with the “old ladies with sledgehammers” part?

EggHead: 

I'm still waiting, but they completely ignored me

Mr_Iron_Fingers:

calm the fuck down

you have to explain this shit better tokita

I got the rug at a thrift store

remember how Akane wanted me to go shopping with her?

yeah, so

this fuzzy bastard was on sale for only 500 yen

500 FUCKING YEN

Gigolo_Master: 

500 yen???

holy shit they were almost giving it for free

EggHead: 

damn… where’s this store? I kinda wanna buy one now, it's so cheap 

Mr_Iron_Fingers:

it’s in Shinjuku

it was one of those thrift stores only street

the perfect place for a quality brawl lmao

Kelpthullu: 

and then he faced some old ladies with sledgehammers

lots of people in a free-for-all brawl

all because of that rug

if I had heard about it, I would've jumped right into the middle

and it wouldn't even been for the rug 😎

Gigolo_Master:

oh a thrift store fight

classic

you went easy on the weaklings there, right?

you can kill one of them with a single bitch-slap

and now that I think of it, it's a good thing ohma wasn't there too

you two would’ve gone to jail for a few months

Kelpthullu: 

I wanted to face the sledgehammer ladies too… 😎

Mr_Iron_Fingers:

there was no sledgehammer lady, dude, just one with a heavy ass purse

but yeah I went easy on those bitches

just hit them with the rug a few times to get the point across

fuck’s sake

Gigolo_Master:

LMAOOOOOO

Fuck I wish I could’ve seen that 💀

GiantKiller:

Oh my god 😂

EggHead:

fuck why didn’t you record this shit?? 

next time we’ll go with you

Kelpthullu: 

I’m coming too 🙋‍♂️

I want a new sweater! 

EggHead:

no, guys, wait…

you aren’t addressing the elephant in the room

you went to a freakin thrift store

got yourself into a brawn for some cheap rug

almost got arrested (again)

all because of… Akane?

Kelpthullu:

and why do you think I’m proud of him?

he got a prized prey for his woman

I would do the same!

Mr_Iron_Fingers:

DON’T GIVE ME THAT ‘MY WOMAN’ SHIT

she saw the rug, liked it and wanted to buy it

she couldn’t do it on her own cause of the freakin crowd on her way

they all wanted the fuckin rug, so I went there and got it for her

nothing more

GiantKiller:

and you were absolutely okay with taking a sledgehammer to the face for her

just like that

Mr_Iron_Fingers:

it wasn’t a sledgehammer

it was a purse for fucks sake

GiantKiller:

HAH!

You didn’t deny it! 

You really were doing all this for her!

EggHead:

I refuse to believe he did that just to bang a chick HE ALREADY BANGED 

there’s a line and you ran over it with a fucking backhoe! 

and I'd also do the same for tomori, tokita, we're on the same team ❤️

hey @Gigolo_Master would you do the same for your lady friends?

I've never saw a more dedicated fuck-buddy LOL

Gigolo_Master:

hell no, they would get the wrong idea! 

LMAOOOOO

I’M CRYING

KANEDA YOU’RE A GENIUS 

you caught him red-handed 

🤣

GiantKiller:

Hey @Mr_Iron_Fingers are you answering us or nah?

You’ve been typing for ten minutes now

Kelpthullu: 

he's here at the bakery, and he's pissed

I almost choke on my food when he yelled at me

Cannibal is all confused

Gigolo_Master: 

OH SHIT

she’s there with him??

EggHead: 

man that’s one badass she-devil

dumbass didn’t even realized she folded him like a napkin 

I tip my cap to her, Tomori has some kickass friends, holy fuck 👏👏

Kelpthullu: 

go hunt a boar down and give it to her

she'll drag you to bed in no time

EggHead: 

holy shit tokita

this isn’t stone age

the fuck you’re talking about

Kelpthullu: 

I’m serious

it happened to me

GiantKiller: 

My goodness, Ohma

Himuro's right, you're getting quite scary

Gigolo_Master: 

told you so!

and answer us already @Mr_Iron_Fingers

we’re waiting!

I’m on my smoke break, so be quick 

Kelpthullu: 

he excused himself and went to the toilet

and come on, haven’t you ever eaten something on top of one of these carpets?

I like eating katsudon with Kana on top of one 😎

"Hey, Ichiro, aren't you going to answer them?," Ohma asks, outside the chat.

"Rihito, damn it! Uuh...," Rihito, who had jumped up from the table, hugging his phone to his chest with a furiously red face, turned to Akane. "Excuse me, I'll be right back..."

"Oh... okay...," She gives him space to get out of the chair, and goes to the counter. "Eh... I want some chocolate donuts."

"Alright!," Tomori says, smiling, while Rihito practically ran to the men's toilet, slipping into one of the only two cubicles and sitting on the toilet lid, huffing angrily. He takes several deep breaths, trying to control himself, trying not to let the jokes and insinuations affect him, throw him off balance, or make him unable to stop thinking about Akane's happy smile when he handed her the rug and how it left his heart beating like crazy…

Mr_Iron_Fingers:

man you guys are so fucking dumb

really

you should’ve figured out what my plans are by now

GiantKiller: 

And here we go again 🙄

Kelpthullu: 

what, did you buy it so you could eat katsudon on top of it? 😎

Gigolo_Master: 

I doubt it ohma

but alright rihito

I’ll pretend I believe in your intentions just this once, for the sake of argument

what are your plans?

Kelpthullu: 

I still think it’s related to katsudon

with hot cocoa on the side

on top of a fuzzy rug, in the middle of winter

sounds pretty nice 😎

EggHead: 

man stop

it’s cold as fuck and you’re making me hungry

Agito is in town and he loves katsudon 

I think I’ll invite him to go eat some

Kelpthullu: 

you should invite tomori instead, I think… 😎

Mr_Iron_Fingers: 

man quit with the katsudon shit!

and I do wanna eat something on top of that rug

HER

it must be hella nice to have sex on top of that rug

it’s as soft as a peach

Gigolo_Master: 

… Rihito

my man

my pal

my panther slayer

stop

just stop

it’s getting embarrassing 

no one's buying it 

GiantKiller: 

Even Ohma’s making jokes now, man, just quit it

Hey, wait

WAIT

Katsu = breaded meat

Don = an impact sound

…

Oh my God, Ohma deceived us 

What an evil genius! 

Kelpthullu: 

you noticed it just now?

Gigolo_Master: 

FUCK

SON OF A BITCH

HOW DIDN’T I NOTICE IT BEFORE???

EggHead: 

EEEEEEEW 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

DUDE YOU MADE ME THINK OF AGITO

THAT’S FUCKING NASTY

I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND FOR FUCK’S SAKE

Kelpthullu: 

sorry, I know agito likes katsudon

but it was all your fault anyway 😎

EggHead: 

FUCK OFF TOKITA

I was gonna invite my bro to eat, all innocent and shit

now thinking about katsudon is making me sick, all because of you 

I’m gonna eat some noodles, SO DON’T JOKE ABOUT MY FOOD

Gigolo_Master: 

man, what a day we’re having

ohma making double entendre jokes

okubo questioning his own sexuality 

and rihito abandoning his casanova ways thanks to a she-devil 

this year started with a fucking bang! 

GiantKiller: 

I’m already crying 🤣🤣🤣

I can't even concentrate on my work!

Mr_Iron_Fingers:

FUCK YOU GUYS

NO, REALLY

sometimes I don’t even know why I still talk to you

I already said I’m not like you!

I’m a man as free as a nerd

*herd

**BIRD

FFS

Gigolo_Master: 

LMAOOOOO I’M DYING 

I’M GONNA PISS IN MY PANTS

I’ll need to go change in the middle of my shift all because of this fucking chat

😂😂😂😂😂

Kelpthullu: 

better go now before your break ends

… damn, I want to eat katsudon now

I’ll ask kanami if she can make it for dinner 

no rugs this time 😎

GiantKiller: 

GUYS STOP

Everyone’s staring at me!

EggHead: 

dude you're FORBIDDEN from talking about katsudon on this chat

jesus titty fucking christ 

I can’t fucking unsee it now

you ruined the reputation of a good ol’ katsudon bowl for me

… but the rug thing is actually a good idea 

I’ll buy one for Tomori, I think she’ll like it

Kelpthullu: 

you gonna eat katsudon on top of… alright, alright, I’ll stop

I already had my fun

tell agito I said hi 

EggHead:

sure thing

"Hey Kanami, can we eat Katsudon for dinner tonight?," Ohma asks the baker.

"I think so, we have the ingredients," She smiles and raises an eyebrow. "Why? Are you craving it?"

"Yeah, kinda," he says with the most inexpressive face in the world.

Akane had no idea about ​​the uproar Ohma caused in the group chat because of a dish. And because of her rug.

Gigolo_Master: 

man this rug is the talk of the town now

rihito sure created a trend

watch out for the sledgehammer ladies okubo

EggHead:

nah, I’m not going to a thrift store

I’m smarter than that

I’m gonna order it online so I can choose a color she likes

Kelpthullu: 

are you running from a good fight now, okubo?

ichiro was braver than you

have some shame 

EggHead:

dude I’m a public figure

I can’t just start fights on thrift stores and get away with it

but I’m gonna ask first, Tomori doesn’t like expensive stuff 

Kelpthullu: 

boars are for free and you can find one on any forest nearby 👍🏼

and you can even eat it

10/10

EggHead:

I wanna hear that story some time

but in person, and with beer on the side

Gigolo_Master: 

and rihito said it was only 500 yen

what, you’re gonna buy it online only to pay more? Don’t be dumb

ask him the name of the store and order one from there

EggHead:

dude threw hands for 500 fucking yen

It isn't funnier only because he didn't pay for it

Ohma grimaces.

"Hey," He turned to Akane, who was still at the table waiting for Lihito. "Who paid for the rug? You or him?"

"Oh, it was him," She smiled. "It was so cute of him, wasn't it?"

"Cool. Thanks," he gives Akane a thumbs up. She just shrugged.

Kelpthullu: 

he actually paid for it

EggHead:

HE PAID FOR IT?!?!

LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

HOLY SHIT MAN

HE WENT TO A THRIFT STORE

GOT HIMSELF INTO A BRAWL

ALMOST GOT K'ed O BY AN OLD LADY’S PURSE

GOT PUNCHED BY SOME LOSERS

GOT A BLACK EYE

ALL TO GRAB SOME PORN-ISH RUG

FOR A FUCK-BUDDY

AND HE PAID FOR IT ON TOP OF IT ALL

man you’re my fucking hero LMAOOOOOOOOOOO

you went the distance just to fuck a chick who’s pratically YOURS 

give him a round of applause everyone 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

GiantKiller: 

Goodness gracious

I’m all for respecting women, but this is on another level

I’m speechless

Well done, man, we love you 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Kelpthullu: 

a boar would be less trouble, you son of a bitch

I’m so proud of this idiot, damn 

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Gigolo_Master: 

WHAT

HE PAID FOKNQ21wjmhs76jm

462m

GiantKiller:

?????????

Himuro

Are you okay??

EggHead:

maybe he had a stroke

I’m almost having one myself

Gigolo_Master: 

THE FUCKING PHONE FELL FROM MY HAND

HOLY CRAP

I'm floored

and this motherfucker says okubo is a simp LMAOOOOO

👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

EggHead:

as he said before

“the tall trees will be brought down” and shit

well, that tree fell to ground like a sack of brics LMAO

I feel so fucking vindicated! 

Kelpthullu: 

me too, he always gave me shit for that

well, he’s always saying he’s built like a bull

now he’s been tamed like one 😎

GiantKiller: 

What do you have to say in your defense @Mr_Iron_Fingers?

Rihito?

Gigolo_Master: 

HIS ICON WENT OFFLINE LOL

we fucking broke him

EggHead:

DUDE FUCKING RAGE QUITTED LMAOOOO

MAN THAT WAS FANTASTIC

I told you guys, I’ve never felt more vindicated in my life 🥰🥰

Kelpthullu: 

maybe he drowned in the toilet or something

he's been there for a while now

the Cannibal is still here waiting for him

Ohma looks at the toilet area, gets up and goes to the door.

"Hey, Ichiro, are you okay there?," He knocks on the wood.

"What happened, Ohma?," Kanami asks.

"We were talking on the group chat, but now he went silent…," His face was completely unfazed.

There is no response from inside the toilet. A full half minute passes in silence. And just when Ohma thought he would need to break down the door to make sure Rihito hadn't tried to flush himself away or something, it opens abruptly.

Rihito comes out, pale, staring at Ohma as if he doesn't recognize him. His green eyes seemed strangely glassy, ​​unfocused, as if his mind wasn't present with the rest of his body. 

Ohma raises an eyebrow, legitimately worried.

"Hey man, what's up?," He wasn't laughing or joking. "Seriously, you're worrying me here... you look sick."

"What's going on?," it's Akane's voice, getting closer, concern on her face. "Are you feeling ill, Rihito?"

She holds onto his arm, trying to reach him.

Her touch seems to finally awaken Rihito from his lethargic stage. His eyes come to life again as they look at her. He swallows hard, manages a weak smile and, when he speaks, his voice is more controlled than Ohma would have expected.

"I- no, no, I'm fine! It's just... I think the thrift store incident got into me more than I imagined," He snorts a little, touching his injured eye. "But don't worry, I'll be fine! I won't be knocked down by some losers, hahaha…"

"Do you want me to help you go home?," she asks, even more worried.

"I can help you both, if you want," Ohma offers. Despite what happened in the group chat, they were still friends. "I can call a cab…"

"No! I mean... there's no need, Tokita," Rihito assures, waving a hand. "Walking will do me good, I think I just need to get some air... and anyway, Akane, we agreed that I'll help you with the rug, right? I can move the couch so you can choose the best spot for it and such…"

"Yes, but not if you're not feeling good," She was really worried. "But... are you really okay? Can I trust your word?"

"Sure you can! You saw me drag at least two dudes across a store aisle without even breaking a sweat. Moving a tacky couch around is a piece of cake," He assures, and opens a smile that at least seemed confident on the surface.

Ohma just looks at him suspiciously. Then he looks at Akane. "Look, if he starts to feel sick, you know who to call."

"Okay," She nods, sighing. "Let's go then, I'll give you some medicine when we get to my place... anyway, being alone won't help. I'll let you know how he's doing, Mr. Tokita."

He nods, looks at Rihito one last time and returns to the counter. Kanami looks at him a little worried but Ohma gave her a thumbs up, to wich she just nods.

Rihito does the same, scratching the back of his head again. He glances one last time at Ohma over his shoulder before following Akane and helping her with the shopping bags, the rug once again securely tucked inside one of them.

For a second, Ohma felt like he saw something strange in his friend's eyes. And it wasn't anger or hurt at their jokes on the group chat. He didn't know what to call what he saw, but he knew he had never seen it in Rihito's eyes before.

Ohma returns to the group chat to share the news.

Kelpthullu: 

he left with Cannibal

seriously everyone

he’s acting really strange

he looked almost disturbed when he left the bakery

I’ve never seen him like this before

I think we went too far

Gigolo_Master: 

dude what do you mean

he loves to make fun of everyone here, but can’t handle it when it’s his turn?

we didn’t go that far, c’mon

he would do the same in our place

GiantKiller: 

yeah, but he’s not used to being the target around here

he needs to learn how to take a joke

EggHead:

no, wait a sec, he isn’t like that at all

he usually doesn’t mind being the butt of the joke

he just tells us to go fuck ourselves and calls it a day

now I’m kinda worried

maybe it’s because of his injuries?

he said he took some blows during the thrift store brawl 

Kelpthullu: 

maybe

he looked really pale

and it didn’t look like he threw up

the Cannibal took him to her place, she’ll give us a call if anything happens

I’ll keep you guys updated

Gigolo_Master: 

thanks ohma

but man, that’s so fucking stupid

now I’m pissed

he’s acting like a prissy bitch just because he doesn’t want to face the truth

okubo didn’t act like that when it was his turn

I’m too old for this shit

GiantKiller: 

Guess we’ll have to do an intervention

And I’m not looking forward to it

Kelpthullu: 

(answering to @Gigolo_Master) thank fuck you guys didn't have to deal with me when it was my turn, and I'm serious

GiantKiller: 

We can give it a pass when it comes to you, Ohma

You had those heart problems in the past, so you had no idea what was going on and got confused

Okubo was just too embarrassed to talk to us, but he accepted it pretty quickly

Rihito is the one who likes to act all high and mighty and who's too worried about his stupid manly pride

Like he would lose his golden jewels if he admitted he's a human being with feelings

Kelpthullu: 

I’ll admit it, I was one of those dumbfucks before I died that time

and I got my ass kicked for it

I am glad it was before I met kanami

GiantKiller: 

Yeah, that’s my point

Even you, the least educated of us in the academic sense learned from your mistakes

Gigolo_Master: 

exactly

and the girl’s pretty chill

I meet her for a single night, but I could see she’s nice

and they’re on the same vibes, not just the perverted ones

but does this make him accept his feelings and give the relationship a try? Nope

dumbass is too worried about his stupid pride

if things keep like this, she'll get tired of waiting and will kick him to the curb

and who'll have to deal with his bitching and moaning afterwards? US

EggHead:

you guys know he’s still on the group chat, right?

we’re acting like a bunch of gossipy old ladies here

Kelpthullu:

I’m down with being one of those if I have a sledgehammer 😎

so I can knock down any blonde fuck who tries to steal my rug 😎

EggHead:

FFS DUDE LMAOOOOOO

GiantKiller: 

OH MY GOD OHMA 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Gigolo_Master: 

LMAOOOOOOOOOOO

I even forgot what I was about to say man

okay I remembered

(answering to @EggHead) dude I don’t give a damn

he should read what we’re saying, then he’ll see this shit isn’t funny anymore

I’m not one to talk about someone behind their back, specially if it’s one of my friends

Kelpthullu:

alright then

I’ll be off now guys

kanami’s shift is almost over

again, I’ll let you guys know if anything happens

EggHead: 

sure thing

go eat some katsudon LOL

okay, now that I’m calmer, this shit’s pretty funny

I’ll be off too

let’s schedule a day to go talk to rihito later

Gigolo_Master: 

yeah, and I’ll beat his ass if he tries to run away

I’ll go back to work now

talk to you guys after my shift

see ya

GiantKiller: 

see you guys later

Nextpart here