#kinda messed up if you ask me
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Personally, I think its awful that I remember what kind of society I live in- one cool or ignorant with surveillance for the sake of convenience, one that indeed hates the rich but doesn't love the poor, one that is so open-minded its lost, one that is hopeless and yet continues on, one that hates so much and loves to a fault, one cool and even excited about advertisements everywhere aka every available space known to man- and then just have to go about my day.
#kinda messed up if you ask me#overheard my co-worker talking to someone who came in the office about how something knows contact info etc when you didnt#even put that info in or give it out... also read that post just a minute ago about dont make jokes about rednecks n hillbillies... and#also saw that post of the google wanting to use the usa military database of like skin etc identifying material to train an ai#not to mention ai in general#and then I just. have to go back to my task at hand.#what the fuck.#someone did indeed kill themselves in front of society and it fucked us all up but we have to keep going permanently.#yanno?#(someone as a metaphor like the meme 'im gonna kill myself in front of the hype house kids and change their lives forever' thing.)#man. what the heck.
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Jealousy
Chris Sturniolo x Fem!reader
— tags;; mentions of a physical fight & injury, injury tending, fighting, pet name (baby), no use of yn, toxic habits (overprotectiveness)
— wc;; 1282
— author‘s note;; my take on overprotectiveness since i hate the „touch her and you die“ trope, hope you enjoy <3
He did it again.
You don‘t know how to feel as you silently drive home, Chris in the passenger seat, seemingly oblivious to the storm raging in your mind.
He did it again. He hit a guy just because he looked at you weirdly.
Don‘t get me wrong, you love his protective side. It is hot, honestly. The way he always makes sure everyone knows you‘re his girl, the way his arm sneaks around your waist at parties, the way he gets rid of other boys trying to flirt with you.
But this… this wasn‘t protective, this was violent. He hit a guy, for the second time this week. The second time in four days.
Yes, the guy was rude and obnoxious. Yes, you felt uncomfortable around him. Yes, you were relieved when Chris came to your help after the guy wouldn‘t listen to your No’s.
But Chris‘s punch, it wasn‘t protective. It was violent, brutal, merciless. And of course, the guy hit him back, right on his cheek.
When you glance to your right, you can see the dark patch forming on your boyfriend‘s cheekbone.
You arrive home — your house, not the triplets‘ —, and you go to fetch the first aid kit immediately after entering through the front door. Chris trails in behind you, unbothered by his split lip and bruised cheek.
He just sits down at the kitchen table, knowing you will take care of him. Expecting you to.
You take an ice pack out of the refrigerator and settle down next to Chris, all in complete silence. You can‘t bear to hear his voice now, or your own. You‘re afraid it might give your thoughts away. And your eyes, your eyes will surely betray you, so you keep them focused on the ice, the bruise, your hand, anything but Chris‘s eyes. That he is looking at you constantly isn‘t helping.
But eventually, he picks up on your uncharacteristically silent behaviour.
“Hey,” he says softly. “Everything alright?”
You swallow thickly, knowing your voice will give in the second you try to speak. So you remain silent. For exactly three seconds, dabbing a cotton pad at his split lip, before Chris speaks again.
“That dick won‘t bother you anymore.”
Of course, he thinks that‘s the problem. Of course.
“That‘s not what I‘m worried about,” you mutter, stoically keeping your eyes on his injuries.
“You‘re worried about me? Oh, baby, you know I can take care of myself,“ Chris says warmly.
“That’s not… I am worried about you, Chris. You need to stop this. But-”
“Baby, you know I won‘t,“ he mutters, slowly tilting your chin up with the hand that isn‘t holding the ice pack. “Those pricks deserve it.“
“Besides the fact that no one deserves to get beat up, that‘s not what I mean,“ you say, pulling away from him. “You need to stop or you‘ll end up in serious trouble.“
“I won‘t,“ he says softly. “I promise. I just want to teach them a lesson-”
“You‘re not listening to me, Chris!”
“What are you talking about, of course I‘m listening to you,“ he says, his brows furrowing.
“No you‘re not,“ you scoff. “I see the way you look at the guys you‘re going to hit. I‘m not blind. I can see that you want it.“
“Of course I want it,“ Chris says, laying a hand on your arm. “I need to protect my girl-”
“That‘s not what I mean, and we both know it,“ you snap, quickly closing your mouth and taking a deep breath. “I am just an excuse. Don‘t deny it!“
He already opened his mouth but closes it again, worry and confusion clouding his gaze. “Baby-”
“No. Listen to me,“ you interrupt him, trying to keep your tone calm. “You like the confrontation, don‘t you? The adrenaline? But you can‘t see… You don‘t see the way it‘s hurting me.“
Chris‘s expression falters for a moment. “I don‘t- what are you- what do you mean? I don‘t understand…“ he stutters.
“No, you don‘t,“ you say softly, pulling your arm out of his grip and standing up to bring more distance between you.
He really doesn‘t. He doesn‘t understand the way your heart clenches every time a guy even just glances at you in public. He doesn’t understand the way your thoughts start racing even when someone is just walking in your direction. He doesn‘t understand the way you‘re terrified of talking to anyone while out with him — out of fear to trigger his jealousy.
The air feels thick as you look at his expression, his desperate eyes, the bruise on his cheek and his still-bleeding lip.
“Explain it to me,“ he says, “please, what am I doing wrong?“
“You don‘t see the way you‘re hurting me, hurting everyone around you,“ you whisper, your voice just as thick now. The words feel like they‘re stuck in your throat and you have to force yourself to speak them. „I hate seeing people hurt, especially you. I hate seeing you get hurt, and knowing- knowing that it‘s because of me.“
“That‘s not true, baby, I‘m-”
“Please, Chris,“ you whisper, tears collecting in your eyes, “Please let me finish. I hate avoiding to go- to go out in public with you just because I can‘t… I can‘t trust you not to lash out at someone, I hate b-being scared every time someone looks at me or talks to me, I- I just… I hate seeing you angry, I hate seeing you violent, I hate seeing you like that… And yet you- you keep doing it, n-no matter how o-often I ask you to stop…“ Your throat is clogged, your breaths are laboured, your eyes are watering, and you physically can‘t speak anymore, the words having drained out of your head. But there is one sentence left, one you‘re terrified to even think.
And Chris is just standing there, the words burning in his mind, on his skin, digging into his flesh while he tries not to rush to hug you because he knows, he knows it wouldn‘t help. And then he feels the tears running down his face, and the pain ripping through his chest. You don‘t trust him. You can‘t trust him, you said it yourself. You‘re scared of him.
Fists clenching at his sides, he lets that sink in. Everything he‘s done for you, everything he thought he‘s done for you, crumbles under the heavy weight of reality, the realisation that he‘s been hurting you all along.
He steps forward, raises his arms, and sees the way you cross your arms. A shielding gesture. Chris thinks he can hear his heart finally shatter at that, after slowly cracking over the entire conversation.
There are no words he can use to explain himself. He knows he should apologise. But how do you apologise after terrifying your girl over and over again without even noticing? What words are there to express the mixture of frustration, fear, and self-hatred he‘s feeling against himself?
Chris drops his arms to his sides.
He turns around, and leaves.
And you are left alone. The front door slams closed, but you don‘t even flinch. Your mind is full, and so are your eyes, your ears, everything is clogged with memories, everything is breaking inside you, but you are relieved.
You are relieved, because how could you bear his overwhelming presence any longer, with one last question, one last sentence burning on your mind, a question you can‘t ignore but also can‘t speak, not in front of him?
How can you be sure he will never lash out at you? How can you be sure that you will never be on the receiving end of his fist?
#chris sturniolo#chris sturniolo x reader#chris sturniolo angst#christ sturniolo fic#christopher sturniolo x reader#sturniolo fandom#christopher sturniolo#matt sturniolo#nick sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo#sturniolo edit#sturniolo fanfic#no fluff this time#ahh i love writing angst#ngl my fav oneshot until now#my take on overprotectiveness because i think it‘s radically misunderstood how toxic it can be#but that might just be me#kinda messed up the narration in this one#there‘s first person and second person perspective but the first one is genuinely just me talking#as is second person but whatever#lol do people actually read tags?#if you do pm me or send me an ask#i‘m curious lmfao#i struggled sm with the ending of this one#but sad ending it is#took me like an hour to write thid in the middle of the night
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What did/do you like about Pharah?
Uh, gameplay-wise, I really love characters in shooters who rely on three-dimensional movement techs. Chaining together hover and jump to stay in the air for as long as possible and keep momentum is so satisfying, and picking enemies off from the sky made me feel like a bird of prey. I was a good Pharah main.
Story-wise, there unfortunately isn't much to canonically go off because Pharah is so underutilized and neglected. Her personality's pretty boilerplate "heroic hero" (she's literally inspired by Captain America).
But it's the crumbs/bits and pieces that I really latched onto. Pharah's a confirmed lesbian; her short story with Baptiste implies she harbors a crush on Mercy (fucking thank you.). She's biracial Egyptian/First Nations. She has major mommy issues, having grown up both admiring and resenting Ana. She's the bridge between Old Overwatch, inspired by the idealized heroes who surrounded her childhood, and New Overwatch. She's one of the only inter-generational characters in the cast; someone whose experiences span the gap, which is why I seriously believe Pharah would make a great main character.
There isn't much to go off of, though; she's a very uncomplicated character (she's a soldier for a private military corporation, lol.). But that just means she's a blank slate character, so I've seen fanfic writers run wild and create some really interesting takes on her. My favorite interpretation of her's a dense, herbo gym-bro type (a lot of her liens are about work outs, exercising, and playing sports) who's easily excitable under her seemingly self-serious, armored visage. We see how she tends to gloat and hype herself up when she's on a streak too, so Pharah definitely has a competitive and boastful side under her more professional and militant performance.
Now Mercy? Mercy is a real complex character.
#i was a diehard pharmercy shipper back then btw#the inherent homoerotic experience of pharmercy gameplay.#the homoerotic experience of looking to the skies to fly to safety under the protection of your knight in shining armor#the homoerotic experience of feeling white hot murderous rage at an enemy trying to pick off your pocket mercy#i still kinda despise gency lmao. you cannot convince me mercy would be in love with genji. at all.#he'd make her feel so uncomfortable and guilty. in my head. the canon is obviously different#gency is sexless. absolutely zero bite or tension.#i could go on about mercy and how her character has so much missed potential#i'm no longer in my overwatch fandom phase but#i still think about that new flirty line they added in ow2 where mercy goes “ahh you're like my knight in shining armor!”#and pharah goes “that's what i'm goin for ;)” and i sigh dreamily#really happy that pharah outright says she's a lesbian too but it's hard to feel good about rep when you know blizzard uses it for pr#to be honest i'm willing to bet cash that blizzard's keeping pharmercy in their back pocket as ammo for the next controversy#last year we already saw logs about pharah fretting and taking care of mercy and the two talking about how good it is to see each other#tbh pharah has the same energy/demeanor as applejack. cheerful and competitive in a can of whoopass#but yeah overall pharah's a pretty shallow character. i have IDEAS on how i'd go about deepening her but. whatever#that's sorta what happens when you have to juggle a cast of 40 characters. a lot get left with the bare minimum#ok so i wrote this entire post up saying that pharah isn't in ow2's storymode when she is. she's in the story i just. forgot#because she doesn't do or contribute anything interesting#ok i'm stopping here. overwatch's story is such an interesting narrative mess i could go on for hours#i dunno how you come up with such incredible character designs and give them such an unincredible story#it's also so so so interesting seeing the conflicting takes on characters the writers have#mercy in gameplay and voicelines is peppy and cheerful and optimistic#but mercy in the storymode journal logs is tired. jaded. a total shut in who forgets to leave her room and social#and YES! THAT'S WHAT I WANT!!! THAT'S MERCY TO ME!!! THE DOCTOR WHO FORGETS TO TAKE CARE OF HERSELF#ask me#anon
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Turns out Sunlit Trail isn't quite done just yet, so after all that they just send you to a dead end 😂
#rain world#comic#rw chasing wind#sunlit Trail#Hunter#Art#Chasing wind spoilers#I can't imagine anyone filters that tag but just in case sksksks#ANYWAYS turns out mod is way better than I expected and it's super well made.#So far made the trip as hunter (first time) then riv and now working on arti.#For arti I realized that howling rifts led to sub and sub led to dar shore so I was like sweet! A shortcut!#Now imagine for a sec trying to get through a parkcore + miros bird gauntlet with a corpse and a worm within 5 cycles#before the scav ran out of karma and you were stuck inside forever. Yeah#Besides that tho I've been messing around and been very tenderly modding the game.#Turns out you can have a bit of fun with most sprites without too much effort by simply cloning the MSC mod in your files#Then changing the copy's mod info so it doesn't clash and simply swapping images out for whatever you want#As long as you have the sprite name you can do this. You can also change region names and decals and music all sorts of stuff.#In short I've been brewing a custom mod for a friend to make her suffer as much as possible <3#Thanks to a buddy on the rw server for showing me that trick btw lol. The best cesspool I've ever participated in#Oh before I forget- the symbol on CW's head is completely made up. They just looked so... Bald.#Tbh I wasn't expecting their personality to be so... bright? Most interpretations make them kinda solemn and gloomy#But nah this CW is what NSH should've been 100%. I like them. Not gonna spoil too much but their situation is somehow so... chill.#Still bad tho!#Other fun news! There's a scammer going around on discord that's basically like ''bad news I reported you for fraud''#And they're getting a lot of people. My buddy that owned my home server got hit and we lost everything. It's all OK tho nobody was hurt#I keep trying to ask them questions on my alts but they're ignoring me... I kinda wanna bait them into doing the scam with me#to see how far I get before they catch on 😜#Wasting a scammer's time is never a waste of time#Ah I had more to say but I reached my tag max. Till next time- hopefully my animation project will be done by then!
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hong kong miku,,,
#hopping on the trend jumpscare i’m from hong kong surprise#i haven’t seen that many hk mikus around#lowkey chat i think i kinda ate with this one#however i will say i am coloring in the dark so if any colors look off that’s why#and also i haven’t opened this program in literal months i jumped straight into this no warmup no nothing#miku is what pulls me out of art block apparently i was locked in for 5 hours STRAIGHT#someone needs to teach me how to paint properly holy#not sure how i feel about the bottom left one but that was a quick one anyways#i am from hk originally but i haven’t been back in years so i have no idea about the culture other than food and mirror#OKAY let me explain the context#street food is a big thing in hk and quick and easy things like fish balls egg waffles and like siu mai and wonton noodles are popular#back then people really would just squat down on the side of the road or right in front of the shop to eat it and go#but i don’t think anyone does that anymore city life and all that#ohh i should have done instant noodles breakfasts god i loved those#if anyones from hk if you go to the causeway bay mtr station exit that leads up to the big road near sogo. do they still sell siu mai there#that shit was BANGER i remember asking for them all the time#a good majority of parents in hk would get their daughters ears pierced as a baby something about them not feeling as much pain idk#that’s just what i was told#i used the neon for her friendly standard greeting cause i wanted to incorporate the neon signs somehow without actually drawing a whole bg#lots of neon signs in hk. i heard they had to take them down cause of light pollution which is sad but understandable#everyone got their shoes from dr kong. at least when i was younger they did#boy band is self explanatory. i heard they’re really popular my mom listens to them#oh i had her messing with her shoes cause hk people move FAST. you stop for one second and you get shoved#so like a fun little allusion#gave her black roots just for fun. she is violating every school uniform code possible#this is all based off of my memory by the way so like. anyone who knows this better than i do hit me up#hatsune miku#miku from my culture#jellos scribbles#i haven’t tag yapped in so long welcome back my love i missed you
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hey i just saw a tiktok video with the horrors comic and i couldn't find any credit (also the comments were turned off ://) and i thought maybe you should know (here's the link to it: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGexd54Qx/ )
Ah, thank you anon! I'm not particularly surprised unfortunately, not the first time it's happened with that comic — sadly I don't think there's much I can do about it, especially since I don't have a tiktok myself. But thank you for letting me know! I do like to know whenever that happens, even if I can't do anything to get the videos taken down. At the very least, it's a reminder that I should really start putting some sort of signature on my comics 😅
...Also, in this particular case the video you linked actually made me laugh when I looked at it, because!! Quick storytime: the last time someone messaged me to let me know that a tiktoker had reposted the horrors comic, I went and looked at it and noticed that the reposter had put two of the comic pages in the wrong order. Somehow NO ONE in the comments had mentioned the fact that the order of events didn't flow right, it was hilarious.
Why is this relevant? Well, because this tiktok you've linked me to has the SAME EXACT MISTAKE, which indicates to me that this new person didn't even steal it from me directly, they stole it from the OTHER REPOSTER and also didn't notice the mistake in page order! The reposters are cannibalizing each other! I am both very entertained and utterly baffled by the lack of effort! They're not even stealing things well!
Anyway, all this to say: I have managed to find the humor in this kind of situation, but I still do not appreciate people reposting my stuff, especially without credit. And general PSA that if you see my comics/artwork anywhere that is not here on my tumblr, or on my AO3 account forest_raccoon, that is not posted by me, and it has been done without my permission.
#tldr; don't repost artist's work! it is not kind#...about this particular case though —#comparing the two tiktok pages really convinced me that that reposter 2 is just stealing from reposter 1#they've even reposted some comics from artists that are missing full pages and thus do not make sense#similar complaint: reposter 1 also stole the 'wrecking ball; comic I did recently#and they DIDN'T USE WRECKING BALL BY MOTHER MOTHER AS THE BACKGROUND SONG#HOW DO YOU MESS THAT UP#I mean I know people who repost stuff are probably more likely to be lazy (since they're already just stealing other people's work)#but this is on another level to a degree that I kinda just have to laugh#anyway! I'll figure out a way to incorporate a signature into my comics and other than that I'm not gonna worry about it too much lol#not that a signature will stop reposters of course — reposter 1 has several stolen videos that say 'DO NOT REPOST' right on the screen#but at least then anyone looking for the original artist can find it if they want to!#ask box#senhart rambles
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The man truly can’t take a genuine compliment 🙄
#my art stuff#digital art#baldur's gate 3#bg3#astarion#astarion ancunin#this is part of a series I like to call “I’m never settling on a singular detailed artstyle”#I have no consistency in drawing realistic people/characters other than my shapy cartoon style#but I truly don’t get enough opportunity to properly shade anything with art in that style-!!! it always looks weird to me-!!!!!#I think some rude lil worm in my brain is wriggling around telling me it’s a futile attempt at still doing realism#cus I’m one of those “gifted” artists that grew up promising his parents he’ll end up among the big names or whatever#constantly training to become better at art but with realism oil paintings as the goal#you know how it is 😔#I wanna shade my lil funky designs but they never feel good enough to really put energy into or whatever so I compromise with stuff -#- like this where I try to draw characters more accurately while still stylizing them and shading them however I feel like it#which is great and all but I should really learn to give my more relaxed and less perfectionist art a chance#I deserve to enjoy the process and the result without working myself dead#it’s so much easier and rewarding to copy cartoon styles - stylizing realism makes me too anxious of doing it “wrong”#at least cartoon styles give me a goal to reach or a reference to strive towards#man I really should just cut myself some slack altogether#either way - this man is a flustered mess and he’s embarrassed about being called adorable in public or something#being teased in an affectionate way about his sweeter side and stuff#don’t ask why he’s shirtless - anatomy is just a lot more fun for me to draw sometimes#tasteful nudity and all that is extremely gorgeous to me#i need to practice anatomy more cus I just kinda did some shit and went with it this time with a BIT of consideration for muscle structure
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"what's your role in the fandom" i am a clown who writes the most terrible posts only liked by two of my mutuals out of pity
#just shut up about the role in the fandom#can we just enjoy the music?#i have no talents i'm just here am i allowed to be here?#this shit is the reason i deleted instagram#it's not a fucking competition for fuck's sake#also stop fighting for celebrities' attention it's kinda pathetic#“the leader of the fandom” there's no such thing everyone is equally important#can we maybe stop worshipping people just because they got a like or a follow from their fave?#EVERYONE IS FUCKING EQUAL#like yes it's nice being noticed but it doesn't mean you are better than everyone else#what the fuck is wrong with people#honestly i'm forever thankful for being a tumblr girlie#instagram is a mess#i mostly joined it because of lmm fandom cause everyone was active there and we had almost no people here#just a bunch of haters#i'm telling you guys this shit destroyed my mental health#and tumblr clique made me feel alive again#it's so cozy here and clikkies are so cool#honestly the best decision ever if you ask me#i say whatever and whatever that i want*
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Do you got any examples of your sketches? I like studying other artist’s sketches so I can consume parts of their style like an art vampire lol
swear this has been in inbox for months sorry toast... <crying emoji> thank you... uhhhhh have some rly unfinished ghost story stuff i'll likely never touch again (has been months)
#gist of it all was haha smoke things you could do 2d-specific medium wise#was oddly enamoured at the concept of seeing joey superimposed whenever the smoke of burning obscured jozef. because idea of smoke purifyin#from hao. and also the similar costumes. genuinely so !! at the idea. got a few frames done in colour then gave tf up but maybe i could#be persuaded to render this in grayscale + golden overlay layers for sepia tones. i kinda see it.#was talking to cc when i first got about to this floating mess of an idea abt comic? animatic?? and like. mystery never resolved ig#// for this to work i guess also you would Have to use the specific smoke artstyle i've been using for the ghost story work in which it's#somehow... opaque? yeah. rifts!#ask me stuff???#anyway. sorry again about not getting to asks i am Not Very Good at actively responding to them lately. hope u are doing well#melliotposting moment what do you mean it's almost adamandianniversary again! passing of time..#into the melliotverse#ghost story musical
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Oh right uhh, Kokoro lives in -2+2 (And Emma, and also Hibiki)
#see. i don't plan on ever writing the Sdra2 portion of -2+2 in full fic format since I don't like Sdra2 nearly as much as Dra#so i really don't mind spoiling/rambling about what happens in that portion of the Au. it's all kinda barebones so far anyway#yall know I've never been the best at keeping spoilers from my own stuff lmao#but don't worry! i will keep the things that will be revealed in-story under wraps :) I'll only mention things that are#disconnected from the Dra part of the au or happen way later#like the Sdra2 stuff + Akira and Beni#since -2+2 it's obviously the Au they're from#so if i was trying to keep spoilers hidden away in the disney vault of my mind i would never have been posting about these two at all#and tbh is you have a sharper mind than me you could probably guess Kokoro and Emma would survive in this#since Sdra2 is a reenactment of Dra. so if Kizuna and Ayame don't die by that logic those two shouldn't either#and Hibiki is spared from execution because Mikado got pissed at Kanade messing up his reenactment with her goofy ass murder case#and insane serial killer thing so he sends her to die so she can despair! kinda like how he just goes fuck you Nikei and executes him in Ch4#so. Sdra2 surviours; Yuki. Yoruko. Syobai. Kokoro. Emma and Hibiki#i can and totally will elaborate on this (or ramble about other stuff regarding the Sdra2 portion of -2+2) if asked 👍#hyena ramblings#dra#danganronpa another#Sdra2#Dra -2+2#Kokoro Mitsume#Emma Magorobi#Hibiki Otonokoji
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...am I just losing my mind or did yer icon become evil? I don't remember that BeAst behind Boe
yuuuump always been behind me
#ask#anon#pazuzu's just been there since the beginning#mainly because my avatar use to be of 2D in front of the d-sides album cover. or atleast one of the covers#and i had a lot of transparent edits of 2D over that cover#but when i had Boe made. i put him over it instead and i just kinda kept it like that cause i thought the colours together were really nice#as for the blurry swirls. i just like doing simple effects in paintdotnet#i don't really imagine them as much besides the blurriness of the minds eye. like this is how you'd see the inside of my brain maybe.#or not really my brain. boes minds eye maybe.#i don't know if i have a ''lore explanation'' for pazuzu in Boe's life in limbo/hell#or specifically in relation to Boe i mean#i'd still like to actually visualize what limbo looks like. or specifically the area in limbo in which Boe lives#which is just an old manor in the middle of nowhere. with old computer crts and keyboards in the mud of his back yard#dark purplish skies with maybe blueish roaming fields with no horizon#i do have a map file of me trying to create what i imagine to be Boes house but i've only blocked out his porch#i've got a loose idea of what the layout of his house's interior is like but nothing solid honestly#the reason he lives in an old manor is due to mystery case files: ravenhearst. inspiration-wise#use to play that growing up from bigfishgames. fucking love the look of that manor and the intense mess that resides within#i think i also think about the Gorillaz' o green world phase where they had kong studio's absolutely trashed with junk and shit#did actually buy MCF Ravenhearst the other day actually. specifically for higher res ref images of rooms#played a little of it the other day but i was so tired for most of that day so i didnt play for long#anyway. thank you for the ask anon :) yeah he's always been there. pazuzu kinda just blends into the background i think
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Nico who has been deified after his death. Nico who's sure, after all this time, he's finally managed to let go of his older sister's death, of course, it still hurts, and of course, he will never forget her, but that fiery hatred and overtaking sadness, has finally been put to rest.
Nico knows and understands that his sister chose to move on without him, and that's okay, no it's never gonna be okay but he's made his peace with that too, and now, that he's an inmortal himself he never expects to see Bianca again.
Nico lives easy. He works for his father, he sleeps for a couple decades at a time, sometimes he goes back to Camp, takes care of some kids during their quests here and there, but for the most part, he's a chain-free roaming God.
And then, one day at Camp Nico meets her, a tiny little girl, with how long he has lived, time has become almost impossible for Nico to really track down anymore, but he's sure this girl can't be more than 10.
And something about her eyes, her dark, void-like eyes, and her long black hair, and her proud stance. It really reminds him of somebody else.
The girl is all alone, no little brother or older sister of her own, no parents either, apparently, she's a child of Hekate, but that really doesn't matter.
Something about the girl's every move, about the way she approaches the darkness without fear, about the way she approaches him, like she's known him all his life, the way she uses her whole body when talking.
It reminds Nico of Bianca. This girl's soul is just like Bianca's.
And Nico supposes it's no longer a fatal flaw, but he still doesn't know how to let go.
Nico immediately claims her on the spot, lets her sleep on the Hades Cabin, helps her out with everything, takes care of her for years and years.
It's the first time in centuries, that Nico as a God feels connected to his mortal side.
When the little girl cuddles against him, because she's had yet another nightmare about manticores and huge robots, while Nico quietly tries to hug her, and reassure her she's going to be fine, he even starts thinking that maybe his family has grown, yet again.
And then, she's send off on a Quest, Nico loudly protests against it, because he knows how those end.
Because, he still remembers waking up screaming and trashing, in the middle of the night, inside the Hermes Cabin, surrounded by strangers and shadows, as he felt Bianca's soul perish away.
But it's no use, the Oracle of her time had already issued her prophecy, this new girl, Rachel having long since passed away, who Nico feels almost comfortable cursing in the spot, just like his father had done so many centuries ago.
The little girl leaves, and Nico now has nobody to swear to keep her protected. Nico knows it's useless to try to convince her to stay, but he still does, it doesn't work, it never has worked
But truth is, she doesn't even look scared.
She's excited, and ready, and determined, and Nico has to wonder if this is how Bianca looked like, during her last week on Earth, too.
The girl leaves and she doesn't come back.
Nico thinks, it should be easier by now. It isn't, it's never gonna be it
Hades catches Nico roaming mindlessly around Elysium, after noticing his absence from The House, for what's either days, or years.
Hades mournfully reassures Nico that Bianca is not there anymore. No, not this time, not last time, not next time either.
After that, Nico chooses to abandon Camp fully, once again, he doesn't come back for another few centuries, until Hermes asks him for help getting his children to satefy at Camp.
Nico swallows the bile, that he's sure a Godly body like his own, shouldn't be able to produce anymore, shakes Hermes's hands, and tells his cousin his children will make it through, just fine.
Nico rescues the kids, regretfully send them off to live all cramped up together at their Father's Cabin forever, but one of the boys of the bunch, just has such dark eyes, like a black hole consuming souls.
And he stands so proud, and Nico just knows once more, and all at once, because he would recognize Bianca's soul anywhere.
In life, in death, at the end of the world, in a Hekate's daughter, in an Hermes's son, it doesn't matter, the person standing in front of him, is simply Bianca in another skin.
Bianca, being a wild hero once more, and Nico has to wonder if she can see him as clearly as he can see her.
Bianca is the only one after all, who has known him all his life, Bianca knew his name before it was even his own. Nico was born knowing her.
If she can see him, or if she can't, Nico doesn't even know which one would hurt more.
Time passes, and if Nico let's the boy sleep at the Hades Cabin, because the nightmares about manticores, giant robots, and magic are too much to bear, and he can't even scream in peace inside the Hermes Cabin, well, that's only Nico's own business to know about.
Nico realizes, after a few ages of Godhood, that The Fates like repeating their own stories.
Nico knows he hates all of them, deeply and purposefully.
The Oracle comes up to the boy, Nico is sure she must be a new girl, but all the girls Apollo chooses all look the same, and she is the same, she gives the hero the prophecy that will bury him.
And, it doesn't even take Nico a glance to know, that this is where that boy's life thread is cut.
Nico wants to sneer, this would be Bianca's third death, and if a hero dies three times they get the special prize, and yet.
Nico begs the boy to not go, because they both know he's not gonna make it back.
Bianca never has. Bianca never does. This is Bianca's fate. She was already dead before the story even began.
But the boy doesn't even break eye contact with Nico, as he tells Nico that he's very kind, and that he loves him too, but no way.
He's gonna go, and so, the boy does.
The boy leaves and he doesn't come back, and Nico has to crawl at his Godly skin, and remember the sensations, of back when there was human flesh, and blood running through his veins.
And that's just the thing isn't it, that Bianca is never going to stay by his side, because she doesn't want to.
#you ever think about the fact that bianca preferred to stop completely existing before waiting for Nico and nico knows it#nico di angelo#Bianca di Angelo#pjo#god nico#luna writes#<- i mean this is halfway a fic already so yeah#this is about Bianca's reincarnations and how difficult Nico's and hers relationship really is like she loves him hes her little brother#but also she wants another family she was never gonna stay not because shes forced to but simply because that's not the choice she wanted#to make and all his life what nico wanted was for her to choose to stay and she just didn't#she never waited around she never showed up she left at once and asked for no opinions she took her life in her own hands#well that's all kinda messed up by the Riordan blog post just randomly having her in Elysium but whatever those arent canon#luna's headcanons#also nico taking care of kids is everything to me so yeah he would love and cherish the hell out of those kids even if sometimes they#behave even older than him and they all would still abandon him he supposes he should be fine with but he isnt#he will never find their souls or their corpses anywhere he already knows this
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Someone submitted these images to me, saying that they’ve seen a lot of people interacting with this person, and want to let people know, but don’t want to attract harassment by posting.
Their username is @/sandycheekscockvore. Here are screenshots of their blog, where they’re telling people who draw characters as trans men to fuck off, and reblogging FOX News anti-trans propaganda. There’s also a screenshot of them getting shouted out on a radfem blog.
Just in case anyone is unfamiliar with the interviewer in that FOX News article or thinks that there’s a chance that it could be unbiased, Riley Gaines—the interviewer—thinks that trans women shouldn’t be allowed to play in women’s sports, including chess. She also fights for trans people, especially trans women, to have less rights.
#just in case anyone whines about how I’m ‘trying to deplatform someone!!!’#or ‘making a callout post!!!’#telling trans people that there’s a transphobe in the community is not doing either of those things#the first one kinda hurt because trans hcs make me feel more comfortable and secure#tw transphobia#proship#proshipper#proshipper safe#proship safe#proselfship#profic#profiction#<- tags for people who are in the same communities as them#also I didn’t write this but thank you to the submitter#I kept their name out because they asked to be anonymous#the submitter also alleged that this person confessed to being a radfem but deleted the post#anyone defending this behavior will be blocked from my blog#also the implications that trans men can’t look like ‘normal men’ and that people just do trans hcs to be quirky is so messed up#reminds me of those transphobic theories saying that trans men and nonbinary people just say they’re trans to be qUiRkY aNd DiFfErEnt
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i dont ship them per say i just think they understand each other in a way no one else can and while this could bring them together it’s much more likely for them to reject the horror of being known and cannibalize each other like oscars
#eunyung baek and haejoon goh. to me#i dont think they’re getting together i think theyre going 2 years without talking and then runners into each other and acting like no time#passed at all i think theyre just like adult besties that kinda hate each other#like yeah thats my best friend hes a shithead tho. kinda cant stand him. we’re going out for drinks thursday and i just know hes gonna be#a mess and itll suck. but ill go anyways#haejoon texts him like hey man whats up its been a few months whereve you been#and eunyung sends a photo of himself like in the mountains or some shit with no context#hes like yeah i joined an expedition lol ive been living in the woods for 3 months#they go like a full year without talking and haejoon goes wonder what hes up to and its always something crazy#i think thats how theyd have to be i think if the less time they soend together the better friends they are#eunyung: i joined a commune i think its a cult tho idk its kinda fun#haejoon: please just fucking use my guest room for the love of god#eunyung transitions and visits for the holidays because juwan invited him and haejoons like#something is different. is it weird if i ask. does everyone else know. will they think im homophobic if i ask#eunyung: hey can i bring my boyfriend to thanksgiving#haejoon: absolutely fucking not.#eunyung: homophobic.#haejoon: im gay bitch i dont want anyone youre dating in my house regardless of gender. im going to hate them.#haejoon sends him job listings and apartments and is like i will drive you to your interview please get a normal job#and stop getting involved in multi level marketing schemes#and eunyung goes no 🫶 die#i hust wanted to talk about them. miss them. i caught up to my translation im reading and now i gotta wait for updates
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do you have any tips for like... paneling? your lil comics, if i could call them that(?) with Dave are well made (to me at least) and I'd like to get into making comics! or if you know any resources that helped you. :') - sincerely, a beginner.
sorry to be answering this so late, wanted to try and give some kinda proper advice haha so what i do is i just make my posts as long as possible so that it takes up like all of ppls dash, this means they are forced to look at it and engage with it! no ok but for real, first off this is just how i do things and by no means any sort of proper tutorial or anything, most of this is prob kinda basic and intuitive stuff, but its good to be reminded of the basics and to notice why you might be doing said things intuitively so you can start doing it intentionally so how i approach things is by picking a focus panel whats the Punchline/Emotional pay off for the page/comic? and then i try and build the rest around that for actual Comics not every page is gonna have one of those ofcourse and thats fine i tend to often have to many focus panels,,,, lmao(which is why my posts end up so long,,,,) i try to group similar panels and make them smaller, it saves space, makes it so the attention goes to the more unique panels and makes things feel more sequential(or u can do like me and have too many similar panels and think, what if i just make it an animation, its just a few extra frames right,,,?<- clueless(i have done this twice now,,, the second is still a wip,,, )) heres one of my posts deconstructed using all this, id do more of them but i dont wanna make this even longer asdsd, but i think its pretty obvious to pick up on once you know the formula lol
after that i think its mostly just clear composition and flow so things dont get confusing(like what panel(also applies to text) youre suppose to read next and such(thats easier with this cus its usually just individual panels and not full pages)) edit: oh and resources that helped me, i mostly just looked at other comics, paying attention to how the paneling was effecting the story and mood! some comics ive looked at for paneling inspo are houseki no kuni, how they play with contrast and stuff, idk theyre all just very striking, i looked at ajin at some point as well for help with some action stuff, most action shonen are also great for that 2 so yeah, just find a comic scene that has the same vibe that youre trying to get and see how they did it, finding a few and comparing and contrasting what you feel works best thats my thought process while doing stuff at least! i hope this helps at least a bit haha
#another thing a teacher told me at some point is to make things Look Intentional? in this case they were referring to comic panels#and how if you have one of those classic slanted dividers(i dont remember what theyre called.. n am 2 lazy to look it up)#make sure its not just slightly slanted as then often gets misread as a mistake like you just messed up a straight line#so basically go big or go home#like art has no rules so u can do whatever you want and different things work better depending on the piece but its advice i try and follow#also paneling for ask blog stuff is a lot easier then actual comics its prob a good place to start to practice this kinda stuff#timing is also important? timing is why im doing 2 animations.......#they just werent working as panels cus they felt too slow? cus it needed 2 many panels that were all quite similar#so they took a lot of space and took 2 long to go through#which is why i was like ill just animate it!<- does not like animating#the things i do for this blog u_u#rambles#advice#anon#art
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I thought today was a good one..
#just some vent art idk#vent#vent art#...........................................................................................................................................#............................................................................................................................................#the initial start was unclear#i got ready for my class like usual and my dad's mood was entirely unreadable#usually in these situations i have an internal debate thats goes something like#“is he in a good mood? is he in a bad one? is his eye irritated again? maybe he's still waking up?”#its a 50/50 kinda deal#sometimes he's emotionless until right when im dropped off and he says “have a good day! love you!” in his nice way#today there was nothing#i just got out of the truck and just as i was closing the door i barely heard a “love you” in a monotone voice#i thought nothing of it bc i did some work before class and my mood lightened#afterwards i went to the lounge and they were doing another event thing that offered free food if you did it#the food was greek food so i figured it wouldnt hurt. i got the food#it was awesome ngl and it really made my day better#then dad picked me up....#he was still unreadable but i could tell his patience was low just by the way he was driving#its crazy and kinda sad that i can immediately tell what mood he's in even through the most mundane change#but about 5 minutes into the ride my mind was a racing mess. i kept asking questions#trying to gauge what mood he's in. he wasn't projecting or groaning like he usually does so o figured maybe he's just wanting to get home#to my surprise we didn't immediately gi home: we went to his old work (family owned business)#when we got there I can't describe the relief i felt to be with other people. especially my grandmother#i did some refund stuff while we were there. dad also seemed to lighten up and things seemed fine#but when we got back in the truck it was back to being tense. we still didn't go home- we went to the bank so he could cash a check#but otw there he mentioned his birthday is this Saturday. i said i knew and that I'd be happy to spend the day with him if he had something#planned. bc id loke to spend time with him on his bday instead of my Granny's Halloween party (which i still enjoy but yknow.. dad)#there's an awkward silence and then he just goes “i guess based off your silence you're not interested in what i have planned for my birth-#day?“ perplexed i said ”i am- im just waiting for you to tell me“
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