#senhart rambles

[sensitiveheartless]

Storms always stress out my cat. He hates thunder, heavy rain, strong gusts of wind, pretty much any loud noise he can hear — he either ends up hiding under the bed or wandering about and yelling mournfully until the bad weather stops.

Unless, that is, he is sandwiched between me and the back of the couch. If he is thoroughly squished, he chills out and starts purring. He purposefully puts himself in that position, too: if he’s not squished enough for his liking, he will wedge himself further against my side until he is.

He doesn’t like to be touched directly very much, and he’ll turn into a snapping turtle if I try to pet him in this state, so sometimes I roll onto my side so he can be squished between my back and the couch cushions without having to worry about being disturbed. And then whenever he’s done he can just wriggle his way out and lay by my feet instead.

Anyway this is making me imagine Chuuya using Dazai as a weighted blanket during storms and jamming himself up against Dazai’s side even when there isn’t much room, because it feels safer that way. That sometimes Chuuya needs to be completely squished by another person in order to chill out (perhaps partly because the feeling of a human pressed up beside him, warm and solid, is enough to remind his subconscious that he’s not back in N’s lab. Not suspended in liquid, not tied up and impaled and shocked. Maybe he used to sleep in piles with the other kids in the Sheep, only to lose that reassurance once he joined the Port Mafia, and he doesn’t even know why he’s become so anxious and untethered until he rediscovers that comfort later)

…Of course, despite needing that comfort, he will bite Dazai’s fingers if Dazai tries to poke him.

[caelanglang]

Okay so I saw that you were sobbing over Ito’s newest ATLA au (and so am I ngl 😭😭) but can I recommend you @sensitiveheartless’s howls moving castle au fic? It’s really good and it’s pretty fluffy! (Im not them btw, just a fellow skk lover :3)

... I’ll be honest with you chief, the moment I saw that fic on ao3 I saw a huuuuuuggee blue flag on it. Blue flag, in my terms, is that it's a big green flag for me to read but also a big warning that it's gonna be a big rabbit hole and emotional investment that I will never get out of TvT BECAUSE IT'S A HOWL'S MOVING CASTLE AU AND SKK??? Bro I am so down bad and I am so scared to be soooo normal about it. ALSO in the books, Howl and Sophie's quarrels and bickerings? VERY SKKcore if you ask me. It's one of my favorite books too and I AM SO NOT READY TO BE SO DOWN BAD FOR THE FIC.

but maybe this is a sign that I should finally suck it up and read it :,)) I would love to cry about it here. Senhart is one of my fav skk creators! Their fluff and writing and drawings are so good. I love their other works, especially "Plate :(" and "This is how it feels to take a fall" and I just know that the howl's moving castle au fic will not disappoint—it will, in fact, destroy me so thoroughly and change my brain chemistry and I could already feel it lining up to the "fics that changed the trajectory of my life" in my brain folder (which amounts to a number that I could count with my two hands ngl...)

oh gosh I rambled again... ><;; Sorry for this but yes! you will definitely hear my cries, and smell my sweat and tears from making fanart of this fic in this blog once I finally suck it up and start reading! Thank you so much for this!

ps. I'm crying with you over Ito's fic dw here, hold my hand T~T)//

[sensitiveheartless]

Hullo! Just wanted to let you guys know that I am working on a thing for Dazai’s birthday, but I unexpectedly ended up being a makeshift scarecrow today so it’ll be a bit delayed lol

[sensitiveheartless]

Just finished the sketches for the next comic part — sorry this one has taken a while! I got a couple pages into an attempt and then decided that it wasn’t flowing right so I scrapped it and started over from scratch which slowed me down a lot

In other news, RIP to these panels that are now banished from the comic forever lol

[sensitiveheartless]

After drawing that pose study, I had this nagging feeling that I’d tried to draw something similar to it before — specifically, a purple/pink scene with one character leaning over another on a bed (and I distinctly remembered struggling so much that I abandoned the drawing partway through)

So I went looking through my files, and yup! It was from back in 2021, a little before I started posting on here. Comparison between then and now:

But yeh :D It’s cool what three years of practice and (very importantly) using reference can do — sometimes I can get impatient with myself when it comes to improving, so it’s fun to remind myself every now and then that I have been making progress, slowly but surely! Never give up never surrenderrr

[sensitiveheartless]

…The problem with me having a fever is that it addles my mind to the point that it takes me way too long to realize that I’m sick

Anyway I’ve managed to come down with some sort of cold, it’s given me real bad fatigue — fever is better now thankfully, that was mostly the first day — but yeah! Right as my back was really starting to get better too, I have been having weird luck this year lol

[sensitiveheartless]

What if I just became one with the floor

[sensitiveheartless]

Howdy! Sorry I’ve been super inactive this week, I got abruptly very busy and have spent much of my time running around like a chicken and then subsequently flopping about in utter exhaustion like a beached fish — but I should be able to get to unanswered asks in the next couple days, and I’m almost finished with the fem!skk comic I’ve been working on! :D (it got a bit long lol)

So anyway, in the meantime here are some extra fem!Dazai doodles I made :0

[sensitiveheartless]

Still working on rendering the ‘horrors’ comic (it became 20 pages long help) but in the process I’ve realized that this might be the angriest I’ve ever drawn Dazai, which is kind of wild

[sensitiveheartless]

Hi y'all! Short update post: sorry about the longer-than-planned-for absence, I've been having a rollercoaster of a time again (in regards to both my physical and mental health) but I believe I'm on a bit of an upswing now!

That said, lately I keep slipping into a kind of perfectionist mindset where I overthink every single thing I create, so I'm going to try to slowly work myself out of that. So I am planning on posting some lower effort stuff on occasion, like sketches! With luck that will help make my brain Chill for a bit lol

Also, thank you all for your patience on the several series of comics/fics that have been on pause — since I began working on my mental health I've been able to slowly start working on them all again, but updates will still be sporadic for a while because I continue to feel a bit like this:

Ah, another thing! I'm going to be posting some asks I've received with regards to fundraising for people who need help in Gaza (which are vetted, so far as I can tell), and I'll be tagging those with "gaza" and "palestine". Just a heads up!

[sensitiveheartless]

About the Skyline Pigeon fic...

Is this gonna be the last chapter or will there be more parts to it?

Hullo!! This might be more evident now that I’ve posted another chapter (sorry I didn’t respond sooner!), but yes, there will indeed be more parts of the story! :D

I’m not sure exactly how many chapters it’s gonna end up being, but the in-universe timeline of the fic is gonna span across at least half a year. The current chapter takes place in spring, and the end of the fic is set in winter.

Based on what I currently have planned (which may be subject to change)… I would estimate that the whole fic is going to be at least ten chapters, quite possibly longer (goodness knows that the Howl AU has ended up way longer than I had originally planned alskjdfj)

Anyway, thank you for the ask! I’m really happy that there are still people interested in this fic, even though it took me a long time to update it! :D

[sensitiveheartless]

Hiya! Just wanted to say that I’m going on an expedition for the rest of this week, so I won’t be able to post until I’m back — but next week after my return, I’m gonna try to make some time to answer asks and such! In the meantime, I hope y’all have a swell rest of your week :D

[sensitiveheartless]

…I just had such a moment, which maybe says a bit too much about what kind of mental state I’ve been in — for some reason I thought it was already June, I guess?? Or maybe my brain rewrote Dazai’s birthday as being May 19? Anyway, one way or another I thought Dazai’s birthday was next week. So disregard that part of my post yesterday, the dazai-a-day for a week thing that I’m doing is now just a self-indulgent thing that has nothing to do with Dazai’s birthday lol

Anyway sorry for any confusion that caused! My brain has not been doing very well this week, but today has been better enough for me to notice my mistake at least 👍

[sensitiveheartless]

Progress update on current comic part: sketches are all done, currently working through the lineart! It’s been a little slower going because my hands have been cranky about the fall weather, which makes both drawing AND typing a bit of a pain, so I keep having to take breaks—but getting there!

(And here are some out of context Chuuya and Dazai faces, since it’s becoming a habit to post these lol)

[sensitiveheartless]

your art makes me wanna overcome my issues and just start creating as well after decades of not being able to. anw, just wanted to say you're an inspiration to me < 3

Aaaa I support!! <3<3<3 I'm really glad I've been able to inspire you! At least in my opinion, creating stuff is always valuable — Art art been very therapeutic for me :0 When I was younger I had a lot of trouble getting myself started on making stuff, and I was very on and off with it, especially during more tempestuous times. It's been about...seven or eight years now since I decided to start drawing every day, and admittedly some days all I have time/energy for is stuff like this:

But to me it still counts! Even though most of the stuff I draw in my sketchbook never becomes a finished piece, and it's all very messy, it still helps my brain to create it. Even when I just end up making a page of vaguely dinosaur-like creatures and weird little beasts like these ones from recently lol

Anyway! That was a bit of a ramble, but most importantly: If you do decide to create again, I wish you the best of luck, anon! <3<3<3

[sensitiveheartless]

Hey y’all! Just wanted to let you guys know that I’m experiencing a bit of a poor health flareup, so I probably won’t be very active for the rest of this week, and I’ll unfortunately be slow to respond to asks and messages as well, sorry about that — my internal organs are really trying to fight me, and it is not conducive to coherent thought🦎 🐊