#kinda but just to play safe idk
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anyway sskk crack concept where bram tries to be aku's wingman partly as a reward partly like "this is getting painful to watch" but he has: 0 knowledge about modern-day dating
#hijinks ensue#sskk#bram stoker#akutagawa ryunosuke#nakajima atsushi#bsd bram#bsd akutagawa#bsd atsushi#bsd#bungou stray dogs#this probably won't go into my sskk week stuff bcs of time managment#BUUUUUUT: new need unlocked#bsd spoilers#kinda but just to play safe idk#clau stuff#i dunno when i'm writing this exactly but I Will
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“But of course you’ll always get some reckless son or daughter of the harvest who decides that things were better the way they were before, or they wonder if they’d just do better making a sacrifice to Old Jack Of The Thousand Ears, like their forefathers used to…”
Day 10: Ornamental Corn
#the silt verses#tsv#old jack of the thousand ears#who up doing fanart of random one-off tsv gods B)#I’m actually kinda happy with where this concept is headed? might play with it more later#yay for doing body horror cause I can just scribble and if it looks weird than that’s the goal#fish’s-art#tw body horror#<- idk. probably#idk if my horror art skills are good enough to warrant a warning but I do like to be safe
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#Ruining the semi normal sleep schedule I'd managed 2 keep going for like a week cus of paranoia 😎#This is ofcthe one time I'm like Actually fucking sleepy#I shocked myself earlier n am in a spiral about the whole “even a semi small shock can fuck up ur heart hours or days later” thing#Which idk if thats unreasonable paranoia or like normal n smart#The internet is 50/50 on it lol#Mom says im being paranoid. Called a like phone nurse about it who said it'd be smart 2 get it checked just 2 be safe#But it's late and doesn't feel serious enough for the er?#Also the er is hell. U just sit there for Hours waiting n then get looked at for 5 minutes told n2 wait even more n then told 2 just go hom#So I am just kinda... existing.. until stuff opens n I can hopefully see a doctor about it or something:)#And cus I was already feeling kinda sick Before the shock I can't be sure if I actually have any symptoms of something worrying#AAAAND my anxiety about the whole thing is making me over analyze every heartbeat or muscle twitch#N tricking my brain into believing shit that's not real#I wanna nap so bad but my brain won't let meee#Ok ramble is done... I just needed 2 get this out of my system somewhere...#Can u believe I use 2 think I didn't have anxiety?? I was all Oh yeah I'm Super chill 😎 while sirens played in my head 24/7#rambles
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yagami should get his back snapped in half like a toothpick if he wanna fuckin sleep on couches exclusively might as well be doin the same amount of damage
#snap chats#judgement posting real ??? <- hasnt played it yet#LISTEN MAYBE TOMORROW IDK#im thinkin to spend my morning on comms then in-between class time on judgement and then the rest of the night on comms#i may or may not be packed like a sardine... omg that reminds me of my train trip tho#the train system i was taking was kinda sketch on the lowest of keys but it was so funny transferring trains#cause the second train i had to take there was An Atom of room left and thankfully i have the body mass of a paper bag#so i just slipped in but then i was just fucking smooshed against the wall. it was hillarious#oh yeah. 'snap why are yo making this very specific post' because i didnt realize the benefits of sleeping on a bed#all summer when i was at my moms i slept on a couch in our basement since.#i refuse to sleep on the same floor as her at this point LMAO she dont make me feel safe in there#so yeah i just did That for three months and ive obvi been sleepin on a bed since going back to school#and dawg while i was over there for the weekend i only slept on a couch Again#the added benefit to sleeping on the couch is my dog is more likely to sleep near me.. hehe..#OH BUT YEAH NOW MY BACK HURT. ive never experience back pain like this before..#maybe the couch i was sleeping on sucked idk. the one i was sleeping on's cushions get pushed out real easy#my usual couch doesnt but... dog...... dog likes the other couch more lowkey....#anyways Get Yagami A Bed 2024
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i feel a little bad remembering how in my mother days there was this rly common perception of thinking 'well lucas would be so pessimistic after what happened and he would hate flint cuz he sucks and he would hate everything!!' and i would believe it just cuz i was still relearning a lot of things i didnt know if that was what i was supposed to think but it always felt like people who saw things this way wanted to force others to do too
#ur on ur complete right to think well he might be depressed after all that cuz that'd be natural#or to think he would feel weird about flint#it's just that some fans would take these things to the extreme and be rly mean about it#idk if thats still a thing#im glad i dont do that now and just create my own conclussions#i mean im always making happy art of one of the most suffered girls in the world(lisa) just becsause i wanna#and my opinions on lisa stuff are all my own#also on the same topic i rly do not forgive wess's ass but i'm fine with duster doing so#not to say you need to forgive your parent because theyre your parent and shit i think someone could live perfectly without doing so#but you also have to understand people who decide to forgive them#or decide to not fully leave them. treating them at a safe distance and stuff#fully distancing from a parent is maybe one of the hardest things in the world to do#idk maybe it's because i played lisa and have seen even worse parents#wess had his funny moments but anytime hes mean to duster i go grrr grrrrrr#especially because he caused duster's limp i think#anyway all this stuff is very abstract and everyone interprets it differently depending on what is in their heart and how they handle thing#no point in forcing anyone to think like u ok goodbye#going from liking mother and antagonizing flawed parents to liking lisa and going .hmm this guy is kinda dad coded. and the guy is horrible
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Squirmmonger at the body farm
Here to sell you their writhing wares
To see how the corporeal form fares.
#demon#worms#insects#horror art#ribcage#bodyhorror#kinda? idk I’m just covering bases ofc#scopophobia#sorry if this jumpscares you#i had to get this guy out of my system#I guess they’re a lil merchant fella who deals in…decay?#or they’re a physical manifestation of fear anxiety and gut health akssldjfj#sometimes I feel like I play it too safe with my cellshadey technique art and I have tinget grungey and toothy#with some different brushes#i need to do this more often
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camp drama shitposts
#this low budget td fan season has a chokehold on me#camp drama#rylan camp drama#dominic camp drama#rylanic#i'd tag mallory but she's barely here#slur mention#drug mention#<- kinda in the last image#idk im just playing it safe#i love the stupid fucking rylan crying image i use it so often
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i had a dream i had a beautiful loving friendship with gus fring to match the one where i was besties with mike. im so broken take me BACK!!!!!
#i could FIX him#alsooooo jesse was there i think he like. helped save gus at some point idk#i was like god damn best episode EVARRRR. heartbroken#i dont rlly remember the details i kinda slept like shit so im a bit scrambled#but ik we were fucking around w like.. game code? to make a pet shop?#so fucking random#we made a starfish and fucked up dog. there was a pool. a guy tried to kill gus. OH#he got shot and i had to stop him from bleeding out until the ambulance arrived#also he called. and cus they were super busy he was like ‘i can provide information aboyt felonies. also i have been shot in the chest’ LOL#wtf mike got shot in my dream abt him too. why thats so random#there was also a separate dream abt ummm. idk some sort of puzzle thing we had to do as a team…? saul was there. he set a fire as a scheme#but the fire ppl wouldnt come until he said there were ppl inside 😭#idk if i ever talked abt the mike dream here actually.#we were just friends…. besties… and he got SNIPED…….. and i tried to save him but he died#it was so sad the next day i was sad like all morning#feels similar now. miss u gus#^^^ EFFECTS OF ZERO FRIENDS#ummm anyway. more updates#i bought a meta quest like on impulse cus i saw they were cheaper now. the thing fucking sucks but vr is so awesome#ive been mostly playing beat saber cus my room is teeny tiny so i cant rlly safely turn#i started making my own map w a patricia taxxon song. SUPER fun i can see this becoming a new hobby#ive also been fucking around in vrchat a little. that shit is mindblowing#so immersive. its like unbelievable#ive only been playing that solo rn bc im shy and also testinb how well my laptop csn hsndle it LOL….#but its so awesome. i feel like a little kid#i had to get a better headstrap and face pad bc the stock pne is So bad. like i camt wear it for more thsn like 20 mins at a time#so maybe when that comes i will muster up the courage to go into public worlds#best world i have visted so far. udons bird sanctuary. i think irs called#U CAN FEED DUCKSSSSS. WAAAAGHHHH#one day i want to make my own avatar too. im feeling the inspiration
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i feel like makoto (p5) was just atlus trying to recreate mitsuru's character archetype and failing
#LIKE. HEAR ME OUT#mitsuru is this very put-together person hiding trauma underneath who excels at school and puts a lot of emphasis on it#mitsuru ALSO acts as your navi for awhile and is generally pretty perceptive and caring. she's pretty good at analyzing situations#and trying to play it safe while also taking risks. she's good at balancing that stuff#MAKOTO however. she just comes off as super stuck-up. she's constantly sticking her nose where it isn't wanted and generally#just kinda regarded as a suck-up. she's very high-strung and literally gets the PT's into trouble with a MAFIA BOSS bc she wasn't#thinking. like? makoto is SO driven by her own convictions and ideals that she doesn't REALLY think. she just does what SHE#thinks is right. like yeah she DOES care abt the team and HAS her moments but like. i AM kinda a makoto Disliker tho so :V#i feel like mitsuru actually has that balance of 'popular important figure' and 'actually a pretty kind and caring person' that makoto just#lacks. makoto's too stuck up and stuck in her own ideals to change her mind. mitsuru is willing to change and adapt to new situations#and information. mitsuru isn't as reckless or headstrong.#i mean im am biased i would die 4 mitsuru and don't rlly like makoto but. idk.#ignore my shitty analysis on persona characters these r just things i've noticed#vani plays p3re
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we talk about Tim being the "emotional support Robin" but I am once again thinking about the Young Justice cartoon and how Bart is the Emotional Support Speedster
#this was originally a thought i had in context of- predictably- platonic bluepulse#however i feel like the concept applies way beyond that also#idk i haven't started season 3 yet bc it's been a weird and wild couple weeks for me so i haven't had time or brainspace#but just thinking about the way bart interacts with everyone??? and how he kind of sets people at ease???#and that last conversation he has with artemis in the invasion finale.... yeah#he's the team's emotional support speedster in the absence of wally#who was the OG Emotional Support Speedster just bc he's such a sweet friendly guy#...i wonder if bart is aware of this though. bc this happens both bc he's kinda goofy and bc he Knows Stuff#so people look at him and trust him and feel safe with him (almost counterintuitively considering he outed two#of the bats' identies as soon as he showed up. but maybe that's part of it too.)#and that's something he like... actively worked for. he starts out playing a role that gradually becomes more real as he's#able to be more at ease. which I've talked about before but like... hmmm I'm Thinking again#Lu rambles#yjtv#bart allen#meta finding tag
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lots of emotional thoughts 2day Ew
#finally got my hands on my 2 fav books as a kid nd rereading them is doing a lot of shit to my brain Rn idk#i didn’t realize how much these 2 books still stuck w me after all this time Tbh the one book is all ab doll artists nd their creations#the other is FAIRYOPOLIS lol i loved that book sosososooso much#i think kid me would think it’s rlly cool i have a butterfly collection now just like it talks ab in the book#nd rereading my doll book reminds me of why i love making art in the first place Even tho dolls kinda creep me out#it feels rlly weird having nd rereading these books now nd idrk how 2 describe it#i have convinced myself that my childhood didnt happen nd that little girl is a completely seperate person who grew up safe nd happy#nd So having these books feels rlly bittersweet nd weird like i have the book collection of a little dead girl#WEIRD idk sundays always make me sad i am sad 2day nd playing w all the trinkets in my room#i was supposed to finish a couple drawing But i am . so sad
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26. People who like dicks - where’s your favourite place for your partner to cum?
I'm not sure because I've only ever experienced cis guys pulling out and cumming into a tissue. I find the prospect of cumming inside super hot (as I'm sure you can tell lol) provided the necessary precautions are taken. I really like the ownership part of it and the idea of having been good for/pleased my partner and less so the actual pregnancy risk, especially right now.
I also find the idea of being came on very very hot but I'm not sure how I'll feel about it in practice given my various ~Sensory issues~ Still, I very very much want to at least try it!
Thank you for the ask <3
#about me#send me things#barely related#but I just saw a detrans blog celebrating the end of roe v wade because now lots of people can't access safe abortions#and saying now was the best time to rape a baby into them#and idk man#i never want to insinuate kink equals reality#but that just feels kinda gross to me?#because it IS reality its not just your fantasy or your play#and real people are getting hurt#sorry for unrelated venting#but i saw that and my brain got kinda. stuck on it#stuffboblikes
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idk . i just my creative skills n hobbies are smth ive always longed for so ive alwys studied my relationships w them and wbat triggers thsm and just . it makes me feel so fucking sad sometimes
#like . all the stuff i eanna do ive done For Years and still brings me joy . i do these activities#and i feel the versions of myself before me doing the EcCt same thing and its so fucking comforting#but the fact that i can only do that Now . when i feel Safe inside is kinda whaxk .#like i used to write regsrdless !!!! i could play tje sims any time of the day regardless of my mood#but now its like . i went to do either one of those todat aftrr therapy#and i just . bc i felt so Off inside i didnt want to???? i didnt wanna do either#so i literally just came home and napped#and i can tell i wont be given permision to play the sims until this fucking rift and dosruption inside of me is Fixed but idk what it is#or how to fix it but lije . man cant i just go n play w liberty :*(#my lil robotics lesvian girlfrjend.#ahes such a cute sim i opened her in cas and let out an audible gasp bx#she was So.Cute ???????? they MADE HER?????? shes my gf sorry#anyway my relationships w my hobbies suck bc for the last 4 yrs theyve come jn Spurts anf .#i can feel parts of me aching to do somethung creative everyday but i just Cannot right now <3#also everytime i plsyed the cello i constsntly thought abt how my ex used to nust . play the electric guitar at whack hours od the day#and just . howd u do that i fear playing this rn and its 3pm.
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youtube
OKAY i dont really know how to word this, but i tend to assign vgm to characters more often than music w/ lyrics for reason
This is very bfgf and early rgb to me
#Its kinda hard to not mention how much i love machinarium djdhhd that game and its ost have an insane effect on me /pos#but yeah.. i said early rgb mostly bc of how the song makes me feel#its hard to explain.. but it makes me feel so warm and loved and idk. its just pure bliss#and it makes me think about Pico feeling kinda disoriented w/ the fact that bf and gf actually love him/showing affection towards him#i feel like he would like. wake up feeling the warmth that the song makes me feel + feeling actually safe and relaxed in a way he doesnt#think he ever felt before#he probably did but forgot#aaaand bfgf for the same emotional reasons but i think about the part of the game this song plays a lot.. but i think i already said enough#AAGSHGDG it just fucks me up so bad. Youre looking the whole fucking city for someone and then shes just. there. by the wall#and nothing that you were worrying about matters anymore#anywaysdjdgggd i think they should kiss#🤖.txt#This is embarrassingggg but whatever
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The most validating thing about having a brother in law is sometimes I’ll make a comment about my parents being kinda horrible and he’ll just be like "DUDE FINALLY SOMEONE SAID IT IVE BEEN THINKING THIS THE WHOLE TIME BUT DIDNT KNOW HOW TO ADDRESS IT"
#the klock keeps ticking#like i remember about 2 years ago when it really clicked with me that my parents were worse than i let myself believe#i had like covid and so to be safe i completely isolated myself in my room and only came out when no one was around#or with a mask on just to get food or use the bathroom that was it#and like when i had mostly recovered i stopped isolating and i looked around and noticed huh the house is kinda a hot mess#and i realized it was because i was the one who kept up with like basic cleaning and making sure things were in order#so like a little bit later i was in the car with my sister and brother in law and i was talking about this#and i was like ‘i think ive realized our parents are kinda unable to take care of themselves without me doing it for them’#and my BIL was like IM SO GLAD YOU FINALLY NOTICED THIS HAS BEEN DRIVING ME CRAZY FOR YEARS#which was just so validating i was like okay so im not just being an ass like this is an actual problem#and idk a more recent thing that maybe uh. made me a little bit emotional was we were basically at a cool place where you can climb shit#and he was just kinda there helping me when it seemed i was gonna lose balance to make sure i didnt get hurt#as well as my sister too and i was like oh god is this was like. basic affection feels like???#is this what it feels like to have someone care like actually kinda give a fuck about your safety and well being???#so yeah i maybe am still not okay with that and still dont know how to feel anymore 😭#so i guess even though hes stinky and i like to bully him I GUESS hes actually a pretty cool guy and he does make my sister happy and he#treats her with respect and hes very good with their cat so yeah maybe i actually really appreciate him and care more about him#than i do my parents and most people in my family#but i cant say that cuz then itll like. go straight to his head 🥺#and he still wont play pokepark 2 with me even though he PROMISED its been like 4 years since he said that and WE STILL HAVENT PLAYED IT 👺👺👺
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i am going to kms
#having a like 2 minute cry bc he raised his voice and i feel awful ajdkbdksbdksb#it wasnt even an angry yell thing it was just an ‘shut up . stop it’ type yell ???? and im using yell very loosely here#it wasnt a yell but like a Louder Voice than normal#i didnt mean to make him feel bad idk i feel like an absolute piece of shit !!! i should die probably#i just asked if he wanted to get off with me n idk maybe i took the playful ‘fuck you wtf :(‘ type thing too far#i shouldve known tbh he said he was tired lol i probably shouldnt of asked in the first place#its fine i dont think he hates me but like ‘im sorry im tired okay ???’ was like ajbskbdksb im sorry i didnt mean to !!!#like i know how being pressured into that sorta shit feels and i feel so bad i rlly didnt mean to make him upset#maybe it was me talking that was annoying#idk im just stressed from everything today has been so bad#on a stupid family holiday when all i want to do is just be at home and play games and sleep in a house that i know is safe#and hes working now so we cant talk very much and i missed him so maybe i was talking too much#i feel awful man i just want to applogise non stop but i literally Cant Talk and it hurts abdskbdks#to him this probably isnt a big deal but ….#to me its kinda ??? like ive messed up ?????? he hates me now ?????? i made him feel like shit and that i only want him for sex ???? hhh#whatever idk im so tired i just wanna go home honestly#i want to restart the last 30 mins n literally just shut up#if only i could cut rn#jamie.txt
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