#like . all the stuff i eanna do ive done For Years and still brings me joy . i do these activities
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idk . i just my creative skills n hobbies are smth ive always longed for so ive alwys studied my relationships w them and wbat triggers thsm and just . it makes me feel so fucking sad sometimes
#like . all the stuff i eanna do ive done For Years and still brings me joy . i do these activities#and i feel the versions of myself before me doing the EcCt same thing and its so fucking comforting#but the fact that i can only do that Now . when i feel Safe inside is kinda whaxk .#like i used to write regsrdless !!!! i could play tje sims any time of the day regardless of my mood#but now its like . i went to do either one of those todat aftrr therapy#and i just . bc i felt so Off inside i didnt want to???? i didnt wanna do either#so i literally just came home and napped#and i can tell i wont be given permision to play the sims until this fucking rift and dosruption inside of me is Fixed but idk what it is#or how to fix it but lije . man cant i just go n play w liberty :*(#my lil robotics lesvian girlfrjend.#ahes such a cute sim i opened her in cas and let out an audible gasp bx#she was So.Cute ???????? they MADE HER?????? shes my gf sorry#anyway my relationships w my hobbies suck bc for the last 4 yrs theyve come jn Spurts anf .#i can feel parts of me aching to do somethung creative everyday but i just Cannot right now <3#also everytime i plsyed the cello i constsntly thought abt how my ex used to nust . play the electric guitar at whack hours od the day#and just . howd u do that i fear playing this rn and its 3pm.
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