#kind or doubt it but its a nice sentiment

[simple-and-cozy-life]

I'm going to make the best of these two years.

But man, I just want to get married.

My beloved knows this too, but he's not ready and I really get wanting to wait until he done with his military contract.

God has plans for us, and I will have an adventure in grad school. I might even get the opportunity to perform outside of the country. Maybe if I do well enough with graduate assistantship I can walk into a doctoral program (if I immediately get my doctorate, I 1000% do not care what that will bring but I am getting married and starting a family). That'd be nice, and maybe I can get a symphony job.

I hope I can do good at whichever parish I join, whether the community one or the Newman center. I am excited about joining a Bible study and meeting with people my age. I'm excited about having access to a gym. I'm excited about campus events, even if they're geared towards undergrads. I'm excited to make new friends and also living close to my boyfriend's family to help out.

Even with all that, I really wish we could get married sooner. I hate the waiting. I just want to be with him. I don't care if we don't have our lives together, I just want to be with him.

But, I am grateful for the opportunity to continue my education and all the opportunities and experiences graduate school is going to give me. I'm very excited to get better at my instrument and become a better person.

And after grad school, we can get married, we can buy a house, and settle down. I won't have to worry about moving. We can be part of a community. We can have kids and we can teach them our love of sports, music, our faith, and loving others. I can teach, whether at a school or private lessons, and play in symphony. I do very much want to spend time with little ones and be a stay-at-home mom. I want a sweet little baby of my own.

I just have to make it through the next two years.

[moonsaver]

hiya!!! I've been thinking about love languages for awhile:

What do you think is the love languages of aventurine and sunday? Giving and receiving!!

Would be nice to hear your thoughts :3

Hello dear inbox visitor!! Ive been thinking of a while to do those alphabet love language or relationship sfw alphabet thingies egarding a few characters, mainly because i think its fun hehe, but yess this is an idea ive thought about before

Aventurine strikes me as the touch starved kind. You won't exactly catch on cause he's subtle with it in the beginning as to not overwhelm you + his hesitance on being vulnerable, but when you confront him about it, he just sheepishly laughs and continues on like normal... and then he's the clingiest person you've ever known. He's very inistent with physical affection as his main love language. Gift giving is a close second! He probably would love showering you with stuff. Gifts are always bound to be extravagant. But I imagine ones that he gets on very special occasions like anniversaries or birthdays are more on the sentimental side. I imagine they'd be handcrafted, and have tinges of his own taste intertwined in them. Regardless, if his heart is completely bare to you, you'll never go a day doubting his love.

Sunday on the other hand,is more mellow. I think his main love language would be mainly quality time and words of affirmation, but there's also a tinge of physical affection in there. He strikes me as the kind who would just like hanging out with you in silence or have you around in his office while he does some paperwork, when he has nothing else to supervise. Words of affirmation is more on the down-low, but after a while it's easy to catch onto it – I imagine he cherry-picks his words to compliment you or praise you or comfort you, he's very specific with what he says, so it feels very genuine (and it is). Physical touch is subtle – he'll hold your hand gently all the time, maybe a hand on your shoulder and have you relax against him while both of you are seated. I imagine he wants to feel that you're "really there" physically, so he keeps the physical contact minimal, but constant. He's not averse to it, thankfully.

[yfere]

House MD's Stellar Wardrobe

I wrote this pretty much solely for @i-exist-solely-for-fandom, who has sucked me into watching the show again for the 10th, 12th, time! Shame on you!

Anyway! House MD in general excels with making characters feel real and distinct in all sorts of small, nuanced ways, but today let's talk about Clothes and what an amazing vehicle they are for characterization in this show -- how House MD as a show cares about clothing as a vehicle for personal expression more than most shows of its kind. Keep in mind that I am not by any means a fashion expert and a fashion expert would probably give you a much better and deeper analysis

The Big Three

1. House

I mean, this one is the most obvious one, but he is The Most Striking Example, intentionally so, of characterization communicated through wardrobe. The way he chooses to dress and the message it sends to others is the *first* subject of conversation he has in the show. He is literally introduced in the pilot as the doctor who refuses to wear a lab coat (like a doctor is supposed to) because he doesn't want to look like a doctor, the one with a cane that makes people mistake him for a patient, who is both combative towards authority and nonconforming in dress -- the perpetual scruff, the wild hair, the sneakers, either straight up t shirts or casual (un)buttoned shirts with the most tragically chewed-up collars and never-been-ironed wrinkles you have ever seen. He is disheveled, fairly irreverent in style, and what small nods he makes to business dress with slacks or an open suit jacket he is liable to withdraw at any time. It's not that he doesn't know how to clean up -- watch him on a date night or a charity event and he's as sharp as anyone could ask for -- but he prioritizes his own comfort and fun, and more importantly, is overtly contemptuous of authority markers in fashion. He wants to embody the janitor medical expert he met in Japan, he wants his being Right to supersede everything that would make him otherwise offputting or looked down upon. So he straddles the line between the sort of punk rock casual wear he favors and business casual, endures pleading from Wilson to please for the love of [Medicine] wear a tie to court, negotiates with Cuddy over fundraising dress, engages in epic power struggles with Vogler over the lab coat. And so on.

2. Wilson

Wilson, naturally, designed as he is to be House's odd couple counterpart, is fastidious, careful, and conventional in his appearance. He blow dries and styles his hair, uses a dry cleaner, wears his lab coat, tie, and a collection of basically decent but also fairly unimaginative shirts and slacks*. He's not actually very knowledgeable about fashion writ large (House can identify shoe brands, Wilson can only vaguely tell the difference between looking "nice" and not, and his version of dressing up is just wearing a different color shirt or tie) nor does he have a Style in the way that Foreman (the most couture character) does. In short, his wardrobe is very much lacking in personal investment and personality, as he tends to disinterestedly wear Standard Professional Attire. He's not stiff, though -- he is the only character whose natural state is with his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, which besides his own personal comfort has the effect of making him seem warm, approachable, and down-to-earth. (and he is warm and approachable!) He keeps and can be more than once found wearing his McGill sweatshirt, which communicates his inclination to sentimentality as a character. He holds on to his university sweatshirt, he holds on to the toys and artifacts of all of his patients, he holds on to the little artifacts that Amber leaves behind. He self-flagellates by not wearing a coat. That's the kind of person he is, and it's indelibly also part of what he wears.

*a few of his ties are quite nice, but his failure to be nice consistently makes me doubt his ability to appreciate the bigger picture, frankly

3. Cuddy

The person who inspired me to start pontificating about wardrobe! Cuddy has her own brand of transgressive style, with a wardrobe that is an interesting meditation on her relationship with wielding power and authority. House makes fun of her for it excessively, but it is a fact that Cuddy does frequently delight in wearing the sexiest clothing possible, within the negotiable boundaries of professionalism. It's tasteful, confident, and very intentional -- this is a woman who through grit, tenacity and cleverness succeeded as the first and only female Dean of Medicine, the one holding the reputation of Princeton Plainsboro and House's leash in her hands. She's there to play fast and loose with the rules when she needs to, is confident and authoritative, and has nary a visible chink in her armor -- and all of this is bound up in and communicated through her dress. Her outfits say, "Don't worry, I'm not a stickler," at the same time they demand you take her seriously or fear for your life. Far be it from her to hide femininity -- rather, she revels in it, takes pride in her body, will happily wield attractiveness or discomfort like a cudgel, like any other tool. Who she is and what she looks like is everyone else's problem, to accept or reject (or, as they should, appreciate) -- she's just out having a ball with it. I imagine that this attitude towards fashion is one of the reasons she and House hit it off so well, though she is notably more flexible than House and will comfortably lean on both sides of the scale as the situation requires.

This is already quite long without me getting into any of the fellows, but I could!!! I definitely could

[xcalkenf]

SNEAKING OUT. [MAFIA!SUKUNA X F!READER] P2

NOTICE: f! reader, mafia sukuna, the reader was sold by her family to sukuna, sukuna calls reader brat + mine, fluff (wow), short part 2 note: This is a short one since I'm still sick and can't think of any good plot. Sorry about that, will upload more drabbles instead of 500-2k word fics since that will take less time to write. No smut, sorry people.

800 ish

The car ride back to the penthouse was tense. Sukuna’s knuckles whitened as he gripped the steering wheel, his jaw set in a firm line. You, on the other hand, stared out of the window, your anger simmering beneath the surface. The city blurred past, a chaotic dance of lights and shadows.

When the car finally pulled into the underground garage, you practically flung the door open, desperate for space. Sukuna followed suit, his expression unreadable. The silence stretched between you, heavy with unspoken words.

As you stepped out of the elevator onto your floor, he caught your wrist, pulling you to a halt. His touch was electric, sending shivers up your spine. “Listen,” he said, his voice low and gravelly. “Again, I don’t do affection. It’s not in my nature.”

You met his gaze, challenge burning in your eyes. “And what if it’s in mine?”

His lips quirked, a hint of amusement. “Then you’re in for disappointment.”

But before you could retort, he leaned down, capturing your lips in a kiss. It was fierce, possessive—the kind that left no room for doubt. His mouth moved against yours, demanding and hungry. And for a moment, you forgot everything—the gilded cage, the blood on his hands, the danger lurking outside.

When he finally pulled away, you were breathless, your heart pounding. His eyes bore into yours, a storm of emotions swirling within. “That,” he murmured, “was a small affection.”

Your cheeks flushed, and you took a step back, steadying yourself against the wall. “I thought you said—”

“I know what I said,” he interrupted. “But, sometimes I crave a moment of tenderness..”

His ears turned a delightful shade of red, and he cleared his throat. “Go to your room, brat.”

And with that, he practically fled down the hallway, leaving you standing there, dazed and disoriented. You thought he was mad, but in reality, he was just adorably embarrassed. Perhaps there was hope for this guarded heart after all.

-

A gentle glow was created on the wooden floor by the morning light that slipped through the curtains. You sat up in bed and blinked, confused. You quickly wondered if you were alone in the quiet room. Maybe he had left early to go to work. 

You slipped out of bed, your feet sinking into the plush carpet. The penthouse was eerily silent, and you tiptoed across the hallway, pushing open the door to his room. Empty. The sheets were neatly folded, the pillows untouched. Great, another day without him. Even after last night, you thought. 

As soon as you entered the living room, your heart began to rush. The door to the balcony was slightly open, and there he was, sitting on its edge, staring down at the city. His shoulder tattoo was visible as he wear his "comfortable"-looking clothes and ruffled pink hair. To be honest, he did look quite nice now that you think of it. 

“You took the day off,” you said, your voice barely a whisper.

He glanced at you, his eyes unreadable. “Someone has to make sure you don’t escape.”

You swallowed, the weight of his words sinking in. “I’m sorry,” you blurted out. “For last night. I didn’t mean to—”

He waved a dismissive hand. “It’s in the past.”

“But—”

“Brat,” he interrupted, his tone sharp. “Move on from it.”

You bit your lip, the memory of his lips against yours still fresh. “Why are you like this?” you whispered. “One moment, you’re—”

“Because,” he snapped, “I can’t afford sentimentality. Not in my world.”

You turned away,  frustration warring within you. But then you remembered the kiss—the way he’d held you, his eyes. “Last night,” you said softly. “That wasn’t nothing, was it?”

His silence spoke volumes.

“Why?” you speak out. “Why bother?”

He stood, walking closer to you. His fingers brushing your cheek. 

He leaned closer, his breath warm against your cheek. "I care about you," he admitted, his voice barely audible. 

"More than I should." 

Your heart skipped a beat. "Why?" 

His lips brushed against your forehead, a fleeting touch. “Because you’re mine,” he murmured. 

You gaze up at him, and thoughts of confusion cross your mind. "What's causing him to act this way now? Maybe he's trying?" You gave it some thought.

With a swift dismissal, you backed away from Sukuna and asked, "U-uh, have you had breakfast?" You ask in an attempt to lighten the mood, eyes looking everywhere -too ashamed to even look him in the eye. 

He raises an eyebrow while his gaze remain fixed on your face.

"Breakfast?" he uttered, as though the word meant anything more than just food. "It's not necessary for me."

But you didn't give up, your curiosity winning out. You spoke softly, "You should probably eat." "Even monarchs require food."

He snorted. "Brat," he remarked in a sarcastic voice. "You're annoying."

Unaffected, you shrugged. "Perhaps. However, sometimes even a killer needs a little sweetness."

And just like that, the tension eased, leaving room for something fragile—a thread of connection between you and him.

A/N: Ok so I did say I *might* put smut in this part, but I think I'm gonna move that to another part (If I manage to figure out what to write) Sorry about the short writing :) God bless <3

TAG: @szuuyl , @dimplesxx , @ssetsuka , @kozutooru , @domainofmarie

(for some reason, I can’t tag the people in itallic.)

@xstom in tumblr 2024. DONT REPOST/COPY! !creds to those who own the dividers and banners!

[bunji-enthusiast]

𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙎𝙢𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙒𝙞𝙣𝙨

Haven’t really seen anything for Rae (x reader wise) just yet sooo… I wrote something super quick with her and red hood!reader. your gender is up to you :}

It wasn't often that there was any sort of recreational break for the supers in the world of aliens, super-powered and genius beings. All equating to mass destruction and death threats every single week, the toll it takes is immense without a doubt.

So you, an infamous vigilante decided to take it upon yourself to take your girlfriend out to a proper date. Something sweet and casual, without all the constant worrying over if 'I'm going to be next' or 'I can't keep doing this.'

"what even are you doing?" Rachel grins, trying to stifle a laugh at your actions. You just perk up with a lop-sided smile, jabbing a pointer finger and deftly wagging it.

"just watch okay? promise yer gonna like it." You reply, tugging out the ends of the picnic blanket.

"okay, okay." She concedes, crossing her arms as you continue fluffing out the blanket. Trying to ensure each and every crevice was perfect, then moving onto with laying out the plates and the food. It was all very domestic, surprisingly. Not unlike your usual vibe.

How did this just happen? You sent the shrinking hero a message of course, one of your rare, dumb but adorable ones. Normally you would send short---curt messages, however, what you sent this time was what really had her.

Heyyy, uh. Can you come over here if you got a minute? got something I think you'll like. :))))

Safe to say that she was absolutely caught off guard by that, but Rachel wouldn't have missed out on something like this. Besides, the effort was nice, not so... chaotic in the midst of what it's like being a guardian of the globe.

You were indefinitely wrapped up in your efforts to make sure the layout was perfect, okay enough to sit down on. You then stood back up with a triumphant stance, hands balled up, resting on your hips. "There we go, this is our little lunch for the afternoon."

She giggles, taking easy strides over to the setup as you grin at her; clearly very proud of your efforts. Also simultaneously embarrassed, but you went through with it. No turning back.

You know what it was like having your life on the near brink of death damn near everyday, but it was something you committed yourself to. Rachel on the other hand just borderline lived with this lifestyle her whole life thanks to her parents, from what you knew. But you held commendable respect for the woman, despite her fear against each and every villain, she does her best.

And you like to think; you do your best too.

it's not as if you were a complete stone cold asshole, you were still human too. One of your graces was being able to protect others, Rachel in particular. While you were initially reluctant and closed off, afraid to form bonds with others. She just... stood out to you, your heart was just enraptured by her beauty and humane kindness immediately. It genuinely confused you how she was here in a place like this, being a hero. She deserved so much more, live a life the way she wanted to.

Though it was obviously her choice, her terms. So for now, you'd support her, and take care of her when neccessary. It was in your nature, as much as you tried to push that part of you away. That fractured piece of your human nature eventually made its way back thanks to her, it was like she was a missing piece to the puzzle you've mulled over for so many years.

You sit down at her side, taking off your signature helmet. "Hope it's good, cause... I practiced like a shit-ton to make sure it wasn't horrible to taste." You admit shyly, rubbing the back of your neck. She simply nods, her eyes softening with affection. Her hand reaches for yours, and you take it, interlocking fingers.

"its fine," She mentions your name. "thank you." You return the sentiment with a small tilt of your head.

"Im glad."

[princess-glassred]

I have a really sweet au idea: Au where Bev and Eddie had kids with Tom and Myra, but after the divorce they were both left kind of broke and alone, so they move into an apartment together and kind of help each other raise their kids as platonic besties.

They each have one child, Eddie has a thirteen year old daughter named Sophia and Bev has a twelve year old son named Jack (i named them after Eddie and Bevs actors Jack Dylan Grazer and Sophia Lillis). It's important to note that neither Eddie nor Bev wanted kids, but now that their kids are here they are very dead set on trying to be the best parents they can. Unfortunately this takes place when they gang are a little bit younger and thus haven't become as super successful as they later will be, Eddie is still working a rather low end finance job (nothing as well paying as the risk analyst position) while Bev is working essentially as a designer for some fashion house, but not designing her own stuff yet. Tom and Myra both got the best lawyers because Tom is a vindictive asshole and Myra is a Karen, so poor Eddie and Bev are in a tough spot financially. Their apartment is pretty dismal, i mean they try to make it nice, but their bathroom/kitchen gets broken a lot and their fridge sometimes opens on its own, and since it's a two bedroom Jack and Sophia have to share a bedroom while Eddie and Bev share the other.

Ben and Richie sometimes come over to help them, Ben is head over heels for Beverly, he literally doesn't give a single fuck that she's a single mom, he loves her to bits and would do just about anything to help her out. He's kind of just some fuckin guy that comes over to the apartment sometimes but he's loaded and quite handy, so he's always helping them out. If they need grocery money, or money for a sitter, or if their kitchen sink is broken AGAIN he will he there for them. Richie on the other hand really is just some guy, he's Eddie and Bev's old friend from high school and he sometimes drops by to visit them and awkwardly interact with the kids.

Jack and Sophia have their own distinct personalities that bounce off their parents quite well I think. Jack is a very sweet and sentimental kid who clings to his moms side like glue. He adores his mother, mostly because he thinks she's so strong for leaving his abusive father and going out on his own. They're very close, to the point Bev often wonders if her son is... ya know 🏳️‍🌈? But she'd rather just wait for him to come to her about that than pressure him into admitting something he's not ready to share. Jack's also a bit of a theatre kid, he does lots of plays and is obsessed with musicals, so Bev makes him costumes for all his shows. Jack and Bev have the kind of relationship where they scream sing songs in the car together, usually girlboss anthems abour break ups because of how much Jack hates his dad. Tom really doesn't care about Jack at all and they are almost completely no contact, but he's pissed off that he cannot turn his son against Bev since he knows that would hurt her a lot. If he was was still in Jack's life he would no doubt abuse him and try to shame him for being so effeminate, which is percisely why Jack hates his guts. He honestly sees Mr. Hanscom and Mr. Kaspbrak as more of his father figures, because they've never tried to hurt his mom in anyway. Jack is really really hoping his mom will wake up and notice that Ben is madly in love with her, because not only would Jack love a sweet and caring step dad, he'd love a man that treats his mother right.

Sophia Kaspbrak is a bit of a problem child, although she certainly has her sweet qualities. She's like an older sister to Jack and she's a genuinely very good student, but it's clear Sophia's having problems with how radically different her life is now. She, unlike Jack, actually has a fairly good relationship with her mother and doesn't exactly understand why her dad had to leave. She understand that he's gay, but she doesn't understand why the divorce had to be so nasty and terrible, she doesn't understand that Myra was abusing Eddie emotionally and Eddie is really hesitant to share that. She shares a few physical traits with her mother, mostly being overweight and blonde, but she honestly looks more like her dad in the face. Eddie no doubt loves his daughter, but their relationship isn't nearly as good as Bev's and Jack's, mostly due to their conflicting personalities and Eddie's own issues.

Sophia is more interested in stereotypical girl things, she wants a boyfriend, she wants to be pretty, she wants to get invited to places and be seen as cool. This causes kind of a rift between her and her dad because, well, Eddie kaspbrak was never cool, neither as an adult nor child. She finds her dad kind of embarassing with how anxious and cagey he is, but she tries not to tell him that so it doesn't hurt his feelings. All of this isn't helped by the fact Eddie is informed Sophia is a bully at school to other girls, and Eddie feels like he's such a bad dad that he's raising the next Henry Bowers or Vic Criss. He really is trying to relate to his daughter though, but they're on basically two different planets. He goes dress shopping with her, he comforts her through her first period, he tries to listen to all her petty teenage girl drama and understand, but he's just really out of his element. He can't even ask Myra for help on this because he knows if he does she'll take it as a sign he's regretting leaving and might come "crawling back" any day.

Really I think Eddie's and Sophia's communication issues just have to do with his own fears of becoming like his mother, he's terrified of smothering her and suffocating her so sometimes he's either too indulgent or lax with her when she needs him. I think their relationship would flourish as she got older, but as it stands currently, Eddie feels like a terrible father pretty much all the time. Bev has to knock some sense into him about it every once in a while "Eddie, you're not bad dad, for god sakes, you'd give your daughter both your kindeys if she needed them." "You're doing your best, that's all you can do, Eds." "If you really don't wanna be like Sonia, all you gotta do is listen. That's it.". But Eddie still feels like shit about how he's raising Sophia, espcially because all of her teacher hate him and love Bev for some reason. Sometimes he will feel so bad about his own parenting that he will become to reliant on having Bev talk to her "woman to woman" when really he should be comforting her. Bev puts it very aptly by saying "I don't mind helping you raise her Eddie, and I also don't mind giving you advice on girl troubles, but she's your daughter, not mine. Who do you honestly think she wants to hear from right now?".

All the single parent angst aside though, this au is still pretty silly and light hearted at times. Bev and Eddie are CONSTANTLY mistaken for a married couple, even though they clarify over and over again that they're just friends who live together. Sometimes Bev and Eddie even get into a little playful contests about who's kid is worse "My daughter got sent home early cause she threatened to hit a girl" "Mine got a bucket stuck on his head this morning and i had to saw it off". I imagine Bev and Eddie also don't get out much anymore or have any real social lives these days, so the very first time they have a night to themselves without their kids they get high together and talk about their kids some more while they cry and eat junkfood. Sometimes they'll catch themselves getting way too excited about like... water filters and scrub brushes, and they suddenly realize that they're old as fuck and need to get out more.

Also even though Sophia and her dad clash on lots of things and she thinks Richie is a "total weirdo" she can tell he's in love with her dad and that his dad really likes him back, so she enjoys playfully teasing them both about it. The average sophia and Richie conversation is basically "I know you're scared my dad doesn't like you, but you shouldn't be. He does, he thinks your butts cute and that you're really funny." "Your dad thinks i'm funny!?". On the off chance that Richie and Bev go on a date with Eddie and Ben, i just imagine it's mostly a comedy of errors while Eddie and Bev act like hot messes the whole time. Bev shows up late with one of her heels snapped off and looking like a total mess to go in a fancy restaurant, while Eddie screams at some lady who cuts him and Richie off in traffic. Eddie and Richie never even get out of the car while Bev and Ben basically just walk around the city since she doesn't look nice enough to go in the restaurant now.

[hom3landr]

Hail Mary

Homelander x Unnamed OC

She’d left the faith a long long long time ago. But with a quickly growing desperation, she decides to cry for help.

CW: This is very much a vent fic and Christian themes are prevalent. Also full disclosure, the relationship between Homelander and the OC in this fic is not fluffy and is perceived as one-sided from the OC’s pov.

Homelander is long asleep as she finishes her prayers. Her eyes sting from scrunching them closed, as though the discomfort will send the words up faster. She means every word. She may doubt the effectiveness but the sentiment is sincere. The hope is too, even though most people not privy to her thoughts would hardly call her a believer. 

Still, she’s nice and kinder than the people at Vought deserve. She’s so sickly sweet that it makes her stomach turn sometimes. It’s as if she’s trying to make up for his cruelty tenfold. She’s sure it’s appreciated. She highly doubts it’s respected. She knows it isn’t trusted. How could it be? When a soft word from her is quickly lost in the echo of his hatred.

She can’t change him with her love. It’s futile and stupid to believe so. He sees her as a warm body. An easy lay he can turn to when he doesn’t want to try too hard. Her adoration is appreciated…but not respected. He isn’t cruel to her but he isn’t exactly kind either. The only moments of true tenderness happen after a good fuck, and even those moments quickly fade. It didn’t used to be like this. Not until his grand plan. She’s human. A fact he was able to overlook before is now a dirty little secret. She knows when the time comes he’ll tie up this sordid loose end.

She opens her eyes and stares up at herself in the mirror. Her face is blank. The accusing stare of her other self having long given up the fight.  She pictures herself a martyr, dying for love. A blasphemy that threatens to cancel out her recent pleas to heaven. He’s rubbing off on her. She’s starting to inflate her own importance in order to justify some reason for her actions. Not unlike Homelander’s mad claims of his divinity. She chides herself. She doesn’t believe she can save him. But she holds one last hope that powers that are greater than her might. Faith during adversity, that has to count for something. Even if her backside hasn’t felt a pew since she was a teenager and this is a desperate hail mary to erase the writing on the wall.

“But who prays for Satan? Who in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most”

Mark Twain isn’t exactly a biblical figure. But the quote makes sense to her. So she prays and prays and prays. Homelander would mock her for it if he knew. Then he’d roll her under him and make her cry his name to the heavens. Double whammy, blasphemy and premarital sex in one fell swoop. Her old pastor would be appalled. At least this time his fire and brimstone rails against her religious shortcomings would hold some weight. She holds shame for her complicity in Homelander’s crimes but she’ll never feel shame for the sex. It’s the only time she feels truly holy.

It’s one of God’s greatest commands, isn’t it? To love. She’s read that passage enough times. And she does love Homelander. So much so that she’s willing to give up her life for him. It’s why she doesn’t run away as she sees fate speeding towards them like a freight train.

John 15:13.

Or maybe she’s just fixated on the whole martyr thing again. 

She startles a little bit as he moans and twitches in his sleep beside her.  His brow furrows as he grips the sheets, the fabric clearly strained to its limits. He’s having a nightmare. And she fights back the urge to wake him out of it. Her throat closes up at the memory of the last time she tried, how he’d gripped her around the neck and squeezed in his lingering panic. No apology was given but he was so sweet to her the week after that she almost fooled herself into believing that her desperate pleas might have reached heaven after all. So no, she doesn’t comfort him. That will have to wait till the morning, if he even admits something was wrong at all. He’s stopped admitting a lot of things to her. He just can’t risk the ever looming plan. 

Maybe it is a lost cause.

 “God helps those that help themselves” She doesn’t remember where that’s from. If it’s from the bible or if it’s merely a quote that fits perfectly regardless of the origins.  Homelander certainly isn’t interested in helping himself out of the growing pit he’s digging beneath him. Well…not in any way that really matters. How can he? How can he crawl out when all he’s ever known is darkness?

She remembers the story of Moses. Rameses (it was Rameses wasn’t it?) was no peach. He was a slaver and a cruel ruler to the israelites. Not someone to be admired at all. Even at the peril of Egypt, he’d refused to let Moses’s people go. 

Except that wasn’t quite true, was it?

Exodus 9:12. 

“And the LORD hardened the heart of Pharaoh, and he hearkened not unto them; as the LORD had spoken unto Moses.”

Exodus 9:27

“Then Pharaoh summoned Moses and Aaron. “This time I have sinned,” he said to them. “The LORD is in the right, and I and my people are in the wrong.”

Exodus 10:1 

“And the LORD said unto Moses, Go in unto Pharaoh: for I have hardened his heart, and the heart of his servants, that I might shew these my signs before him:”

The verses pelt her mind like heavy rain. Her butt may not have felt a pew in a while but she still remembers. It had never seemed quite fair to her. Perhaps the plagues could have been avoided, had a point not needed to be made. He was about to let them go. God had removed his agency for the sake of a plan already written in the stars.  Ramses deserved punishment undoubtedly but for a God who was all about redemption… 

“You’re cherry picking”  

Mr. Fire and Brimstone speaks directly in her mind. That was always her cardinal sin. She sought out the good and ignored the judgement. She had the gall to question. It used to drive him mad. The fact that she’d never felt the urge to hate. He couldn’t scare her straight and it had wounded his pride.

Homelander didn’t need God to harden his heart anyway. Vought had done that themselves. 

There’s another whimper from the man beside her and her fingers twitch as she aches to soothe him. She’s survived the pain once and he’s suffered more than she’s ever had to. Surely, the pros outweigh the risks. She can take what comes if it means she can ease the burden he carries.

Damn…she just can’t shake the martyrdom. As if 

her actions aren’t selfish. As if her prayers aren’t a slap in the face to everyone he’s hurt. She can’t lose him. Her pleas are self-serving at best, downright cruel at worst. If divine intervention does happen, then God has stolen justice straight from the hands of Homelander’s victims. Redemption is a nice enough thought, when there’s no bodycount. 

Mumbled begging she can’t quite make out fills the silence now. A single tear drips down her cheek. A moment so perfectly, obnoxiously, melancholy, that it might have even won an Oscar had she been lucky enough to merely be an actor in a tragedy instead of a willing participant. Her throat tightens. 

Please

She prays. 

Do whatever you want to me. Damn me to hell in his place.  But please save him. I can’t. The world can’t. Please. Please save him from himself. 

No reply from the heavens but the mumbling stops. The nightmare passes. Salvation this isn’t but perhaps some peace. Perhaps the two of them aren’t lost to their grim fate after all.

Perhaps since his heart is already as hard as stone, heaven will decide to soften it instead. It would be a true blue miracle. God remembering his promise to Noah before he used Homelander to wipe the slate clean once more. A little rainbow emerging from the cold white sterility of Homelander’s childhood. 

She’ll keep her faith. She’ll keep praying for her sinner. And maybe, just maybe, she can finally take a break from the martyrdom.

[xjulixred45x]

Continuing on with my rant (Sorry, it’s just that I’ve kept my feeling on Diabolik Lovers contained in a little ball for many years and now I’m ready to RAGE-!)

This is not a request, just my idea about how I think an interaction between Yui and Yoriichi might go down

I desperately want Yoriichi (Demon Slayer) to enter the Diabolik Lovers universe, because here are my thoughts on the matter (Yoriichi is THE Man)

Because maybe he accidentally bumped into Yui in the street or she found him and it’s clear he’s lost and offers to help him find his way (Maybe Yui is able to read Yoriichi, as despite his stoic expression, he doesn’t come off as a bad or scary person, rather, he feels… warm, and gentle)

When Yoriichi founds out about Yui and her situation, he storms in the vampire’s mansion and put the absolute FEAR of God into those horrible vampire brothers as he harshly criticizes them (After brutally beating/mutilating them until they’re on the floor in their own blood, limbs and are utterly traumatized by this ‘inhuman’ man) for harming Yui

I don’t give a fuck what they been through, because it doesn’t give them ANY excuse to treat Yui so poorly like they do, in fact I would tell them they deserved their pain (Oh, you guys went through trauma/abuse?? Cry me a river you worthless scumbags! I’ll never forgive ANY of them!!)

Then Yoriichi goes to Yui and offers his hand to her, telling her everything is okay now and he promises to protect her and if she wants, she can join him on his journey or he’ll take her somewhere safe for her to reside

Yoriichi’s not like the Vampire Brothers, he’s giving Yui a CHOICE, offering his hand to her for her to DECIDE if she wants to come with him or have him take her somewhere else (I love Yoriichi, he’s a wonderful character and deserved a better life)

I want Yoriichi and Yui to have a Father-Daughter relationship (Because maybe Yui reminds him a bit of his wife Uta and wonders if she was alive would they have a child similar to Yui) because both of them deserve better than what they got 😭

Yui would not doubt apologize or tear up if she makes any mistakes, breaks something or talks ‘too much’ only Yoriichi would never get mad, he’ll gently pats her head as he tells her everything’s okay, because accidents happen or that she’s allowed to talk as much as she wants or feels like, because he feels honored that Yui wants to tell him her thoughts, as he finds her pleasant company (He doesn’t mind others being chatty or talkative, he finds it pleasant)

Sorry, I just want precious babygirl Yui to be happy, because she deserves SO MUCH better than those shitty brothers, she’s so kind and sweet (I want to give her the freaking world-) and I want those brothers to DIE-

I crave ✨violence✨

💖 Anon

I'll be completely honest, I don't like thinking about Yoriichi with another partner because my sentimental heart can only imagine him with Uta (their story still breaks my heart to this day). However, you're cooking up something interesting here. I like to think of this pairing not as something romantic, but platonic.

After all, how many years have passed since Yoriichi lost his family? Since he left the Demon Slayer Corps because of what happened with his brother and Tamayo? Easily a decade, if not more.

And all that time, Yoriichi resigned himself to being alone because he believed that was what he deserved, to a certain extent. He has a job to do, an obligation he can't put aside; that's his life now.

But he's still human. He obviously has emotions. He let himself go. He has to admit it. They weren't demons after all (even if deep down he knows these beings don't have souls to feel sorry for). And now, he has to take care of this little girl. She doesn't look very different from how he did when he was young, abused, scared, but determined to live.

And the girl follows him wherever he goes, not because he forced her, but because it's HIS DECISION. And in less time than he expected, he ends up watching over her in an almost familial way. She takes care of the house while he's not there (now he doesn't leave until he's made sure to put on a wisteria vine), helps him cook, and seems fine with his quiet attitude. She just smiles at him; he reminds her of someone, apparently. And so does he. Or well, something like that… Is this what having a family would have felt like?

…its...nice.

--------------

(ESPAÑOL)

sere completamente honesta, no me gusta pensar en Yorichi con otra pareja porque mi corazon sentimental solo lo puede imaginar con Uta (su historia me sigue rompiendo el corazon hasta el dia de hoy), sin embargo, estas cocinando algo interesante aqui. me gusta pensar en este par no como algo romantico, pero platonico.

despues de todo ¿cuantos años han pasado desde que Yorichii perdio a su familia? ¿desde que se alejo de la corporacion de cazademonios por lo ocurrido con su hermano y Tamayo? facil una decada, sino mas.

y todo ese tiempo Yorichii se resigno a estar solo porque creia que eso era lo que el se merecia hasta cierto punto, el tiene un trabajo que hacer, una obligacion que no puede dejar de lado, esa es su vida ahora.

pero sigue siendo humano, obviamente tiene emociones, se dejo llevar, tiene que admitirlo, no eran demonios despues de todo (aun si en su interior sabe que estos seres no tienen alma). y ahora, tiene que cuidar de esta niña. que no se ve muy diferente a como estaba el cuando era joven, maltratada, asustada, pero con convicción por vivir.

y la niña lo sigue a donde va, no porque el la haya obligado, pero porque es SU DECISION. y en menos de lo que esperaba, termina velando por ella de forma casi familiar, ella cuida la casa mientras no esta (ahora el no sale hasta asegurarse de poner un filtro de glicinias), le ayuda a cocinar, y parece estar bien con su actitud poco habladora. ella solo le sonrie, el le recuerda a alguien aparentemente. y el tambien. o bueno, algo asi… ¿asi se habria sentido tener una familia?

…no esta mal.

[my-castles-crumbling]

Anon Advice Asks - May 11

Reg kin anon, pg anon, th anon (new), mirrorball anon (new), bio anon (new), sentiment anon (new)

Reg kin anon

hi cas, reg kin anon here ♡

i realised i didnt mention any update about the guy i thought i liked at the start of the year/end of last year, oops 😂 well, it turned out uhhhhhhh

we had a conversation in... january, i think? maybe february, about how we felt. he said he wasnt ready for a relationship yet (honestly fair, he had a rough breakup when i first met him last year) but that if i was willing to wait a few months then he'd reevaluate (looking back, RED FLAG) which i was fine with, bc relationships scare me too ahaha

and then not even a month later he was flirting harder?? he took me on a date which was really nice tbh and we watched a couple films and he started watching my favourite childhood tv show w me and it was really very nice

and then only AFTER like a month or two of a sort of situationship(? idk if thats the right word, bc i realise thats usually used for more sexual relationships, but i aint into that, it was just kissing/cuddling/staying in for dates) he was still telling people he was VERY STRAIGHT. to remind, i am genderqueer/fluid and OUT TO PPL AT UNI. sooooo yeah he saw me as a girl just because im afab and present somewhat fem like 60% of the time.

so. love that for me 🫠 its now NOT happening, bc im not about to shove myself back into the closet for a guy. he was also giving me the ick for a while in between starting to "date" and then for no reason i could figure out and the feelings have vanished 🎉

on a better note! i opened up to some of my friends about my mother, finally. it genuinely felt so good and freeing to talk about it openly and not feel judged. especially bc i actually had a proper breakdown and sobbing session and they were so, so kind about it all. its so crazy to me to imagine having friends like that because i had literally noone before uni aside from one "friend" (it was more of a 'people hate you, people hate me, lets not hate each other' sort of bond) but now im realising i actually genuinely do have people who care about me and love me and want to support me, and more importantly theyre people who i care about and love and trust too, which i also thought id never find

soooo yay! little reg kin is growin up and finding their place in the world ♡♡

Hi!

Ew yeah that guy sounds like a red flag. Nobody is worth going back into the closet for. You deserve someone who respects your identity <3

But that's so amazing that you have some supportive friends! I know you've been struggling so much with things with your mom, and I'm so glad you have people to talk to about it. It's been wonderful to hear about you grow over this year, and to hear about how you've been able to develop your own support system. You truly deserve it <3

___

PG anon

Ask 1:

For glasses- what about the dollar store or something? Is that a thing near you?

For the fainting...um yeah I'd be concerned. I know it's hard but I'd continue pushing it. Fainting isn't normal...

For C- I'm glad adults know. You shouldn't have to deal with that alone.

How did the GSCEs go? Remember, you deserve recognition and love, whether you're getting it or not <3

And OMG how was prom?

Ask 2:

Exams- I'm glad things seem to be going well! I believe in you, and I know the self-doubt sucks, but I kno you'll do amazing <3

Friends- That's so frustrating because like you said, it's understandable, and there's not much you can do. Have you tried asking your friends to 'body double' over the phone? I do that with friends sometimes, where we're on the phone, but we don't talk and we're both doing whatever we need to do- studying, writing, doing chores, etc. It gives the feeling of not being alone, but you're still being responsible. Maybe that could be a good compromise?

Cancer- <3 <3 <3

Coming out- Remember that you don't owe anyone that information. Do it on your own time, when you're ready. It's okay to take your time! Don't pressure yourself <3

Your past- I think if your past isn't affecting your relationship with your bf now, then you shouldn't pressure yourself to tell them that until you're ready. It's okay to take your time opening up to someone. Your bf cares about you for you as you are NOW <3

Sending you so much love <3

___

th anon

Hii I don't usually do anons but I just wanted to ask you for help on something.

Basically I "broke up" with my best friend 6 months ago (I'll call her TH) and it's not like we were friends for a long time, but it was 3 years of my life.

But anyways when we stopped talking, I don't know, I felt... hurt but more than that, though. Because I vividly recall how heartbroken I felt when I realised she was purposely ignoring me (it was the week before Christmas break back in november and we were sitting next to each other TH was obviously ignoring me bc all she did was stare at the computer. Doing nothing, mind you. I tried to start a conversation but i had a feeling she wasn't in the mood. Then when the bell rang she got up and left the room not even sparing me glance.) I hate to admit it literally made me spiral to the point I cried after school for like 2 weeks straight 😭 oh my god, I feel embarrassed just typing that. But seriously even my brother left me alone when he saw how upset I was.

And even after that I cried on and off. I've written pages of poetry about this (which is the curse of having the ability to write and feel clearly) but I still can't seem to move on especially because we're in the same friend group. I have to see her every. Single. Day.

I hate how awkward it is between us because I really cared for her. I loved her so much omg but now she doesn't even look at me. And one thing about me is that I hate to be ignored it's probably one of the only ways to convince me to let go of someone even if i love them. Like I was sooo close to her but the moment she started ignoring I left it alone. I slightly regret it now though because what if I had just plucked up the courage to fight for our friendship and confronted her? (Although I did ask her if there was smth wrong after the Christmas break which was probably too late to ask that but God I was such a coward.)

I know it's too late to fix it. But I guess I just want reassurance that I didn't make one of the biggest mistakes of my life because I was too focused on winning an invisible competition of who cares the least.

I'm so sorry if this puts any pressure on you that's not what I intend I'm kinda just typing whatever I'm feeling rn. Ahhhajajzj this is making me realise I'm so not over it. Shit. 😭

(worst part about this is that I can't tell if this is romantic or platonic heartbreak)

Anyway I hope this made sense!

Side note: I just started your fic that has trans!regulus and I love your writing sm <33

Hi!

Honestly from this, it sounds like SHE did you dirty here. Like she just ignored you with no explanation? That's shit. You deserve a reason as to why she decided to drop you all of a sudden. If it was me, I'd be pissed.

I think if this every happens to you again, the only thing you could do different is ask for an explanation. But she definitely is the one in the wrong and you absolutely have a right to be upset about this.

___

mirrorball anon

I’m sad Cas ):

I lost two people I would’ve considered my best friends 3 months ago

in the span of a month

and it’s because they did shitty things, they really did

but I feel guilty and paranoid and like it’s my fault or I caused it and did something wrong

it’s just a really shitty time

-🪩

Hi! I already have an evermore anon so I hope this name is okay!

People doing shitty things to you isn't your fault, and you did nothing wrong. You deserve SO much better, and I really hope you get friends who show you that. I'm sending you so much love <3

___

bio anon

just had to take my pronouns out of my bio on instagram because of my new job (i’m scared of someone seeing because i’m not in a very queer safe environment at work) and i tried putting in more “normal ones” but it sat so uneasy with me i just couldn’t. it felt like such a lie.

please tell me this isn’t weird

Hi <3

This isn't weird at all, but it's not fair to you either. I definitely think you should do what makes you feel safe, but I'm so sorry you're in a situation where you even have to think about this. You deserve to be open about your identity and feel safe about doing so. I hope that happens for you someday <3

___

sentiment anon

My dad keeps making comments about me... (Redacted)

Hi <3 This is COMPLETELY inappropriate. Do you have a trusted adult you can tell about this? Like...I can't even stress how inappropriate this is, and you shouldn't have to deal with it. Please lmk if you're able to tell an adult!

[lurkingshan]

Happy wednesday!

So I was bored and thought I would ask a silly question.

From the bl couples we know and love, who do you think, if given the opportunity, would go completely overboard in their valentine day's celebrations? And what would they do?

Rose💜

Oh, Rose, what a delightful question. Now, if I may offer an observation to give context for this list: Valentine's Day is a specific kind of romantic celebration that many loving couples simply do not bother with. It's a cheesefest, a celebration of consumerism, and often a very public display of love that lots of folks just don't go in for, so a couple's absence from this list does not indicate a lack of genuine affection. Valentines Day is for simps (affectionate). And, in most (but not all) couples, there is only one simp in the relationship. With that said, let's talk about the top 10 simps in bl.

Karan, Cherry Magic Thailand

Let's get this out of the way right off the top, because Karan has reached levels of simpitude previously unknown to man. He is exactly the kind of nerd who would make a big embarrassing deal about this holiday while Achi blushes his way through the day. I believe he has learned from his bad date faux pas, however, so he will make sure to stick to things Achi actually likes and try to reign in the worst of his overspending to avoid making his boyfriend uncomfortable. I'm picturing a homemade lunchbox with heart shaped food, a big bouquet of flowers presented at the office in front of their coworkers, a romantic klongboat ride, and a sentimental gift like a framed photo.

Kurosawa, Cherry Magic Japan

Now you may think its cheating to include two different versions of the same character on this list, but I disagree because Kurosawa is the OG simp and their simping presents very differently. Kurosawa is going for a quieter display, making Adachi a nice dinner at home and reading him an original poem he composed on his lunch breaks. Adachi will blush and stammer and feel bad about not getting Kurosawa a gift, and Kurosawa will tell him his presence is gift enough.

Ten, Cooking Crush

Was there any doubt he would be on this list? Ten loves nothing more than a thoughtful, heartfelt act of service, and Valentines Day gives him a perfect excuse. He's making Prem a sentimental homemade meal tied to one of their cooking lesson memories, and he's created a new magnet featuring the two of them to go on Prem's oven mitt. Prem pretends to hate it but won't stop smiling every time Ten looks away, and later reveals he made them a heart-shaped dessert.

Yai, I Feel You Linger in the Air

Another poet for our list. Yai would love this cheesy ass holiday and take it as an excuse to dress Jom up all fancy, go dancing at the speakeasy, and whisper poetry into his ear to his heart's content. Jom with his modern POV on the holiday rolls his eyes at first, but then gets swept up in the romance and rewards Yai handsomely when they get home.

Hantae, Sing My Crush

This holiday was made for Hantae. He loves nothing more than being loud and embarrassing about his love for Baram. He has a whole Day of Fun planned for them, which Baram goes along with, pretending he didn't get Hantae anything until they get home and he pulls out his guitar to play a new original song he wrote for his man.

Gun and Cher, A Boss and A Babe

The rare simp4simp relationship, we have a twofer! Gun and Cher go all out on Valentines Day to the point of making it a competition for who can pull off the most surprises to make the other happiest. They do this at the office in full view of all their friends and coworkers, of course. In the end it's a draw and Gun lets the staff go home early to their sweethearts, everybody wins.

Gavreel, Gameboys

Picture Gavreel stalking Cairo around the house trying to smother him with kisses, attempting to cook a meal that he definitely burns, ands presenting Cairo with a new body pillow with his image on it for when they are apart. Cairo protests every step of the way, but is secretly touched and loving every minute.

Lian, Cutie Pie

Lian is a traditional romantic so he will be taking Kuea out for a fancy dinner, presenting him with a giant bouquet of flowers and the most expensive bottle of champagne available, and then taking him home for some sensual and loving missionary sex. Kuea eats it up.

Tinn, My School President

Did you think we were getting out of this list without mentioning our most promising young simp? Ha! Tinn loves this holiday and takes it as an excuse to engage in PDA all over campus. Gun returns the favor just to see him blush, and they end the day on a cute date out to an amusement park where they take lots of couple photos and generally nauseate all their friends with all their social media posts.

[archivalofsins]

Me whenever something incovenient related to Healthcare has happened since the reveal Shidou is dead. He's looking up and laughing at me right now.

Actually not gonna lie. At every minute inconvenience I go x character must be looking up at me right now. Like it's to the point I be looking down like what do I do now-

*looks at ground* What would you do Mahiru?

People, why you looking down. Me let's be for real they killed people. Like I'm definitely not about to look up. Also, Mahiru believed in heaven and killing is kind of one of the things you're not supposed to do to get in there. Haruka said he believed in God depending on which one he could be fine but like, mm... I doubt his own parents are going to be the only parents to let him down.

Like, guess we could look to the side for Shidou because he believed in reincarnation. So, like maybe he's already done that through Yuno. Especially after his statement on kids to Kazui,

24/10/24 (Shidou’s Birthday)

Kazui: Ah y'know... Is having children really as great as everyone says? Shidou-kun, you've got two kids, don't you? It wasn't possible for me, so in a way, I yearn for it.

Shidou: Yes, it truly is a great thing. No exaggeration. Even if they aren't your own children, don't you think its nice to have someone whose existence connects you to the future? If you can leave them something that they'll carry for the rest of their lives, I think it gives your own life more purpose. That's hope.

Kazui: You're really amazing, aren't you? It almost hurts to look at you. ....But, I sort of get where you're coming from. Every now and then, I get overly sentimental thinking about my existence. How I could leave this world without adding to it. Doing something for the little devils around here might not be too far off from that hope you were talking about. I doubt it'll be easy though.

Shidou: hehe. ....I implore you, Mukuhara-san. Please, give the children your protection.

Even though he's gone, there's still someone he's impacted greatly that connects him to the future. It's really awkward that the one to do this was the prisoner that the word "Future" is sung on in Undercover.

[carminecarnivale]

Literally no one is talking about this (that I’ve seen anyway) and the episode is old now but I can’t stop thinking about it so I’m making a post anyway.

This is about the scene in Helluva Boss season 2 episode 7 “Mammon’s Magnificent Musical Mid-Season Special” where a young imp and Fizzarolli sign to each other.

TLDR: The signing is wonky and the scene feels unearned.

DISCLAIMER: I AM NOT DEAF AND NOT AN ASL EXPERT. THIS IS JUST MY INTERPRETATION OF THIS SCENE. I DO NOT SPEAK FOR DEAF OR HOH PEOPLES’ OPINIONS.

Right. So, surface level, what do the writers *want* to have the signing mean? What is their desired English sentiment?

Kid: Fizzarolli! I’m a big fan!

Fizz: Come on over here

Kid: I want to be a clown just like you!

Fizz: You can do anything you want to do.

Cool, great. Now, what did they actually sign? DISCLAIMER 2: THERE IS NO WRITTEN FORM OF ASL, ASL CAN BE SORT OF TRANSCRIBED IN ENGLISH BUT IT IS NOT WRITTEN ASL.

Kid: F-CLOWN (name sign, “Fizzarolli”) I BIG FAN.

Fizz: [Gesture to come over]

Kid: CLOWN SAME-AS-YOU.

Fizz: IF/SUPPOSE WANT, CAN-aff WORK.

On the most basic level, this is fine. It more-or-less represents what the writers wanted to be said. But it’s just…not great. It’s so simple compared to what the writers wanted to say. It makes the translation put up on screen look wrong.

The kid makes no indication that they “want” to be a clown, they could very well have been meaning that they currently ARE a clown, maybe even in training. There was no indication of “becoming” or a future signifier. There was a general lack of pronouns making it sound vague. The final sentiment from Fizz is much more grounded than what the writers wanted him to say. “You can do anything!” vs “you could work as a clown if you wanted to.” The difference speaks for itself.

There ARE signs for the sentiment they want to convey!!! They exist!!! LOOK: https://youtu.be/JbfWzc0-R6E?si=FxvbC9l-hvArLPg0

“But wait!” I hear you say. “What if they got the signs first and mistranslated it?”

Since this is an English show for English speakers that must be written in English, no. They wrote the translation first and put mediocre signing in the episode.

Could the sentiment have been gutted for time/animation constraints? Quite possibly! But we’ve seen the kinds of shots the Helluva team can pull off (Striker’s 3/4 turn with the pistol, DHORKs full camera action spin, to name a few) so I don’t doubt they COULD have animated the signing appropriately if they wanted to.

Now, they did have an ASL consultant for this episode (the bare minimum we love to see it, AND on the very last page of credits? wow), his name is Salvador Baltazar. There’s not much out there on him, but he’s primarily an interpreter. There is no way to know what he helped with or how much he dictated the scene and I don’t plan on wildly speculating. It’s great that he’s there, why did he let this signing air the way it did though.

Finally, what’s the purpose of this scene? Why is it here? Why these characters in this situation?

More competent analysts than I have picked apart the woobification of Helluva characters and how, once they’re not a villain anymore, their characterization and morals get completely overhauled to appeal to the “oh he’s so traumatized!” crowd.

I think this scene is a part of that. And it got its desired reaction.

Seeing celebrities interact well with children is already something that would net a character some popularity brownie points. If that child is clearly an “other” and the celebrity does something special to recognize that child? Brownie fucking bakeries.

The purpose of this scene is to show that not all of Fizz’s fans suck, yes, but also to show how kind and nice and thoughtful Fizz is just to hammer home how TragicTM his situation is.

And the fans went wild!!!! Here is a character putting in effort to learn ASL and speak with child fans! Wow he’s so great! He’s so amazing! What Herculean tasks he’s taken upon himself to be so cool! Wow! (Not everyone says it like that, but that was the general vibe of the Helluva tag following the episode’s release).

It got fans speculating; “I wonder if this ties into his Tragic BackstoryTM!” We’ll probably never know because Fizz’s fluency in ASL, his role in the Deaf community, is not something the writers care about exploring. They didn’t include a scene with ASL because they wanted to have a deaf character, they included it to make Fizz look good.

Something a lot of people have brought up about this kid—and rightfully so—is their age. What’s this 9 year old doing at the blow-out clown sex appeal concert? How did they get into the VIP section? Couldn’t you contrast the possessive critic guy with another adult who isn’t gross? Wouldn’t it make more sense if this character was an ADULT at the ADULT SHOW?

Yes! Yes it would! But would an adult signer garner half as many pity points as a young child with stars in their eyes? No. I doubt it would.

This scene is not here to show respect for deaf people. Just like the show doesn’t respect deaf people. I ask you to check out the captions for season 2 episode 6. Go on.

Because you know what you’ll find?

A bunch of loud, keysmashing inanity, that ignores describing what’s being said in favour of making queef jokes. These are not functional captions. For a show that prides itself on being just as professional as what you can find aired on TV or streaming, this is laughably bad. This is YouTube 2013 gaming jump scare compilations bad. And those captions are Still There DESPITE people pointing out that they’re not functional.

From a studio that’s fine with sabotaging their own captions I really shouldn’t be surprised with their treatment of ASL as sloppy, basic, and only really there for pandering.

Jesus Christ, do better.

[dnangelic]

𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒.

name: niwa daisuke / dark mousy

nickname: niwa-kun, dai-chan... kokuyoku

gender: X. bigender.

romantic orientation: n/a. agape lovers.

preferred pet names: no preference! just don't make it too diminutive or say it in a way that irks their pride.

relationship status: single, freshly shot down and flat out rejected by the girl of their dreams.

opinion on true love: defined for them as pure, unadulterated affection; unconditional love. entails responsibility; fealty to another, the duty of a long term relationship alongside acceptance, passion, and deep emotion. dark and daisuke both believe in true love; they'd like and often hope to achieve it, but those hopes struggle against doubt and a regular sense of impossibility for them given daisuke's timidity and dark's overall existence be it as an incredibly infamous criminal or a nonhuman 'monster.' neither feel that true love is exclusively 'romantic', either; they recognize it also as platonic, familial, or in regards to personal skills and passions.

opinion on love at first sight: seizes them often. not limited strictly to appearance, but includes overall character and atmosphere. powerful stuff.

how ‘romantic’ are they?: they live and breathe the definition of capital R Romanticism without even being aware of it. all the cliches; boxes of chocolate and red rose romantic. sweet words and moving heart-to-hearts conversations romantic. sunsets and scenic clilffsides romantic. daisuke, and by extension dark, are driven entirely by the force and flow of sensuality and their own emotions, minus again daisuke's cowardice and self-shame in the face of expressing what bold, flattering and flirtatious remarks that 'dark would surely have no trouble with.'

ideal physical traits: no true preference. dark, as an object bound to his tamers and their hearts, can only fall in love with those whom daisuke falls in love with first. that being said, in general someone who resembles risa as a stereotypical princess (long or light hair, soft curls, a small figure,) may catch their eye, and it's the first sort of description they'd provide if asked. knights and nobles in clothing or general physical bearing can also draw out their curiosity and/or admiration--- they're children looking for their "other half" in the fairy tale.

ideal personality traits: no true preference. dark's still bound to daisuke's heart, which tends to seize up at any trait that's worth admiring. ask them personally however, and they'll mostly likely provide strength and compassion as their choice traits. it isn't enough to be strong-willed, you also must be kind; likewise, it's a firm will that gives kindness the sort of extra oomph that can truly move them.

unattractive physical traits: is this a thing??? well if you were scarier than dark and had like a lamprey mouth maybe it'd be a little unattractive but also that's attractive in its own unique way, so they're really not sure. how you use a physical form is way more attractive than how it's born. #romanticize everything

unattractive personality traits: cruelty, malice. murderers, manipulators, those who step on and try to crush the will of others. dark by nature of 'occupation' often comes off immediately as this type of person; as a callous, belligerent villain who only lives to steal from and mock others, but regardless of his personal moral standing and truths, he's someone who truly finds undermining another person's individual will and feelings despicable. as a generally good-natured child and the operative moral chain/pet of dark himself, daisuke shares these sentiments and is perpetually flabbergasted by any sort of delight in suffering.

ideal date: romantically, a nice outing involving some fun activities, maybe including holding hands and/or a kiss or two. alternatively, staying someplace safe (be it the niwa family mansion or elsewhere) and having complete and total intimacy to themselves while passing the time with something like reading, watching a movie, or having a nice conversation. quality time is just about everything for them, so there's no real 'ideal' as long as they get to stay beside you.

do they have a type?: daisuke himself would say that he doesn't, but in reality (and again, in reflection of their ideals,) it tends to be "princes and princesses," as in those that he wants to protect but also (to dai+dark's own surprise) often end up protecting him in return. dark 'recognizes' (re: thinks of) himself as he evil curse, the wicked stepsister or wretched queen, the tyrant and black dragon, but it's actually whoever can tenderly accept both him and daisuke both as one that is their proper type.

average relationship length: daisuke would never give up on anyone and dark himself is more than willing to grow old and die for the final and last time after centuries of immortality after flat out freak mutantly merging with daisuke, are you not gonna put out the same kind of gothic effort??

preferred non-sexual intimacy: verbal, physical; at your beck and call for acts of service. daisuke tends to still be shyer than dark about physical intimacy, but only because the slight terror and embarrassment of transforming doesn't go completely away even after he gets into a relationship. he's still very, very huggy and kissy and into holding hands, though. dark is typically both as generous as he is demanding, so if you imagine a 5'11/180cm tall cat that still craves all your attention and has no issue laying on your lap or stretching out behind you you've pretty much got it. they'll do literally anything for you if you ask and a lot even if you don't just in general, otherwise.

opinion of public affection: embarrassing!!! seriously embarrassing!! definitely not even culturally appropriate if it's like full random kiss session on the street, but something like holding hands is perfectly fine. daisuke's still prone to transforming even while in a relationship, so grander acts of affection should be doled out with due thought and caution in public regardless.

past relationships?: n/a. his rejected confession to risa on his birthday was his very first attempt at a romantic relationship.

[cin-cant-donate-blood]

I am not anti fujoshi and I do think that ultimately you can write whatever you want; I don't care if a straight woman "fetishizes" gay men or whatever. Perhaps I won't read her work, but I don't think her work should be, like, illegal.

But,

I do find the pattern of gay (male) fiction being written mostly by women to be disconcerting on some level, though it might mainly be the publishing industry that is at fault.

What I mean is, if I walk into a bookstore and look for the "gay shelf" (and it is an amazing thing that such a shelf can now be found in most medium-to-large bookstores, if it is not an entire aisle, so let's not discount that progress) what am I going to see if I look at the names of the authors?

Women's names, overwhelmingly. Perhaps some of them are closeted transgender men, I doubt all of them are, so it is irrelevant. Perhaps every single one of them is being careful and respectful and writing well researched representation. That's not really relevant either.

There is something that makes me a little uncomfortable that all of it is happening on the terms of people who are not gay or bisexual men.

The person I'm thinking about is myself when I was fifteen, still reeling from my first crush and still overcome at random moments by overwhelming waves of nausea and dread and disgust at what I was. I was acutely aware that every single love story I had ever read or seen had been about a boy meeting a girl, so even if I had not identified as homophobic before this, there was a hard-to-shake feeling that I was now not going to be able to have any kind of "happy ever after". What I was, was a deviation to be permitted, not anything aspirational or beautiful.

I turned to fiction. I turned to movies and comics. I wanted to see people like me be happy, and I did see those things and they did make me cry, thank you very much.

A lot of what I saw was made by women, too. Even though though they were usually respectful, I could tell that there were details not adding up: things that were not known or perhaps being deliberately ignored.

That doesn't make what I found bad media, or its authors bad people, but the overarching pattern is still that there are huge numbers of young gay people being inducted to their own culture – or whatever I should call it – by outsiders to that culture. Again, even if that representation was perfect, why is it outsiders who are to make it perfect?

Women who are into MM stuff often say things like "I am a guest in this space", which is a nice sentiment, but honestly I feel like I am the guest here.

What can be done about this? I am not sure. Unfortunately this is one of those "Identifying a Problem but Not a Solution" posts.

[picathartidae]

For the most recent round of ask game I'd love to hear your answers for 5, 9, 23, and 26. 💙

I'm still answering for Alassane, despite him being a Dark Urge, because my Tavs are all from a different D&D setting and none of them are sufficiently fleshed out when it comes to the Forgotten Realms. I really hope that's okay!

5. Did your Tav have any formal or informal employment? If yes, what was their job? If no, how did they make ends meet? How did they feel about it?

The closest Alassane ever got a real job was when he was about 10/11 years old and found himself homeless and briefly wandering the Outer City. Through various wacky happenstance, a blacksmith took pity on him and he ended up becoming the man’s apprentice for a few years. It ended, as all nice things in Alassane’s backstory do, with murder, when he was 15. From that point on, he was a career criminal and assassin, and finally ending up as an adventurer/mercenary during and after the events of the game.

It all instilled a very blunt pragmatism in Alassane, as well as a general lack of respect for money or the concept of private property. He doesn’t have strong feelings about what he does, he just does whatever he has to in order to survive and achieve his goals.

9. What was your Tav doing when they were taken by the mind flayers?

He was catatonic, as he had been for maybe nine months by that point, and imprisoned in the mind flayer colony deep beneath Moonrise Towers. Then his pod was shoved onto a nautiloid, and the rest is history.

23. What are 2-3 songs that your Tav would relate to?

I always struggle with these kinds of questions, because I don’t really engage with songs based on lyrics, but rather entirely on vibes. Alassane’s vibes are mainly aggressive electronic, grunge, and alt rock — with a few bits of other extremely eclectic nonsense thrown in. The best I can do are songs I have written Alassane doing things to, and why I picked them.

1991, by Golden Features

This is literally the song I wrote the dance scene in his first chapter to, and is probably the closest I have to a ‘main theme’. It’s electronic nonsense with no lyrics at all, which I liked and thought fit him because the heavy synth feels very artificial and unnatural in a medieval fantasy setting. Since Alassane (as the Dark Urge) was created rather than born, it seemed very accurate for the character, and helps give off this terrifying and uncanny vibe. And I could so very easily imagine him doing an impromptu Fosse-style jazz ballet dance routine to this song.

Let You Go, by RY X

For slower and more introspective scenes, usually dream sequences that aren’t outright nightmares. This is very much a song for post-amnesia Alassane that kind of has come to represent his growth as a character because there is actually a bit of symmetry with his arc in the lyrics.

Elddansurin, by Heilung

It’s a good aggressive sounding song with lots of percussion and growling that flows into something a bit softer and more melodic as the song goes on. It’s got some nice dualism to it, and I think that reflects Alassane’s whole deal very nicely. Heilung is also one of my favourite bands and this song is amazing fun to write violence to.

26. Does your Tav have a treasured item with them? If yes, what is it and why is it special? If no, how do they feel about item sentimentality in general?

He’s not an overly sentimental guy, at least not about material possessions. The closest thing he has to a treasured possession is a serrated dagger he woke up with on the nautiloid, and that’s because it’s basically the only connection he has to his past after the amnesia. Before he lost his memories, I doubt that knife meant anything to him at all.

What he is sentimental about is his name, which is its own complicated mess of a subplot that relates to his foster family and how he perceives himself. It's his last connection to the person he wishes he still was, when he was still an innocent child and before Bhaal ruined everything. His foster family was desperately important to him, and their murder was what broke him. He clings to his name in the vain hope that one day, he can find that boy in himself again.

[shredsandpatches]

hiya, it's dreadfulbeauties on ao3 as well as the person who made that masterpost about my space jam au for faust. mostly i just wanted to thank you for the very sweet comments you've left on my faustopheles fic (especially with regards to how i write faust as jewish in my personal interpretation) and let you know that via you i have found a LOT more adaptations of the story of faust beyond just goethe and marlowe and i'm very glad i did - i'm really hoping to get a look at gonoud's take on the story someday!

anyways you seem really cool and i hope you have a nice rest of your day :D

Oh my goodness, thank you so much! That's really sweet of you 🥰 (also: SPACE JAM AU, heeeeeeeee. Also shades of Damn Yankees there)

I first read the Marlowe play in college and always loved it but I really got sucked into the Faustian hellmouth about a year ago when I performed in Hector Berlioz's La Damnation de Faust, which I very much recommend if you haven't already checked it out! (I've also gone right back into the Marloweverse--that one is my strongest fic inspiration. And I am now extremely obsessed with Boito's Mefistofele, which I hope you have checked out because it's absolutely magnificent. I want to direct it! Although I doubt this will ever happen!)

As for the Gounod opera, I definitely recommend starting with the 2004 Royal Opera House production. It stars Roberto Alagna as Faust, Angela Gheorghiu as Marguerite, and Bryn Terfel as an absolutely magnificent Mephistopheles (who can rock a 19th-century ballgown like nobody's business). It's set in Second Empire France, around the time the opera was written, and makes really good use of the setting. A large portion of my #gounod faust tag is devoted to it (sometimes with other casts -- ignore my 'splaining if you know this, but opera stagings tend to be revived frequently--this one is returning in 2025--and go through lots of performers. There's actually also a recording of the 2019 staging but I like the 2004 better. Although Erwin Schrott also rocks the ballgown. His Mephistopheles is all about the elegant sass while Terfel's brings in a touch of the Marlovian grimness).

The Gounod opera was incredibly popular at one time -- it was sort of the Phantom of the Opera of its day (fittingly, since it features in the original Phantom novel) and its reputation for excessive middlebrow sentimentality kind of reflects that, but when it goes hard, it does indeed go hard. The church scene in particular is a mini-masterpiece, the one place where I think the opera genuinely elevates the source material. Gounod was always conflicted about whether he was a churchy or a worldly person and that really comes out in Faust, although he doesn't actually show a ton of interest in Faust as a character. Maybe that all hit too close to home.

Also, in the 2004 ROH version this is how Faust reacts to being rejuvenated:

And you've gotta love that.