#kind or doubt it but its a nice sentiment

[simple-and-cozy-life]

I'm going to make the best of these two years.

But man, I just want to get married.

My beloved knows this too, but he's not ready and I really get wanting to wait until he done with his military contract.

God has plans for us, and I will have an adventure in grad school. I might even get the opportunity to perform outside of the country. Maybe if I do well enough with graduate assistantship I can walk into a doctoral program (if I immediately get my doctorate, I 1000% do not care what that will bring but I am getting married and starting a family). That'd be nice, and maybe I can get a symphony job.

I hope I can do good at whichever parish I join, whether the community one or the Newman center. I am excited about joining a Bible study and meeting with people my age. I'm excited about having access to a gym. I'm excited about campus events, even if they're geared towards undergrads. I'm excited to make new friends and also living close to my boyfriend's family to help out.

Even with all that, I really wish we could get married sooner. I hate the waiting. I just want to be with him. I don't care if we don't have our lives together, I just want to be with him.

But, I am grateful for the opportunity to continue my education and all the opportunities and experiences graduate school is going to give me. I'm very excited to get better at my instrument and become a better person.

And after grad school, we can get married, we can buy a house, and settle down. I won't have to worry about moving. We can be part of a community. We can have kids and we can teach them our love of sports, music, our faith, and loving others. I can teach, whether at a school or private lessons, and play in symphony. I do very much want to spend time with little ones and be a stay-at-home mom. I want a sweet little baby of my own.

I just have to make it through the next two years.

[moonsaver]

hiya!!! I've been thinking about love languages for awhile:

What do you think is the love languages of aventurine and sunday? Giving and receiving!!

Would be nice to hear your thoughts :3

Hello dear inbox visitor!! Ive been thinking of a while to do those alphabet love language or relationship sfw alphabet thingies egarding a few characters, mainly because i think its fun hehe, but yess this is an idea ive thought about before

Aventurine strikes me as the touch starved kind. You won't exactly catch on cause he's subtle with it in the beginning as to not overwhelm you + his hesitance on being vulnerable, but when you confront him about it, he just sheepishly laughs and continues on like normal... and then he's the clingiest person you've ever known. He's very inistent with physical affection as his main love language. Gift giving is a close second! He probably would love showering you with stuff. Gifts are always bound to be extravagant. But I imagine ones that he gets on very special occasions like anniversaries or birthdays are more on the sentimental side. I imagine they'd be handcrafted, and have tinges of his own taste intertwined in them. Regardless, if his heart is completely bare to you, you'll never go a day doubting his love.

Sunday on the other hand,is more mellow. I think his main love language would be mainly quality time and words of affirmation, but there's also a tinge of physical affection in there. He strikes me as the kind who would just like hanging out with you in silence or have you around in his office while he does some paperwork, when he has nothing else to supervise. Words of affirmation is more on the down-low, but after a while it's easy to catch onto it – I imagine he cherry-picks his words to compliment you or praise you or comfort you, he's very specific with what he says, so it feels very genuine (and it is). Physical touch is subtle – he'll hold your hand gently all the time, maybe a hand on your shoulder and have you relax against him while both of you are seated. I imagine he wants to feel that you're "really there" physically, so he keeps the physical contact minimal, but constant. He's not averse to it, thankfully.

[xcalkenf]

SNEAKING OUT. [MAFIA!SUKUNA X F!READER] P2

NOTICE: f! reader, mafia sukuna, the reader was sold by her family to sukuna, sukuna calls reader brat + mine, fluff (wow), short part 2 note: This is a short one since I'm still sick and can't think of any good plot. Sorry about that, will upload more drabbles instead of 500-2k word fics since that will take less time to write. No smut, sorry people.

800 ish

The car ride back to the penthouse was tense. Sukuna’s knuckles whitened as he gripped the steering wheel, his jaw set in a firm line. You, on the other hand, stared out of the window, your anger simmering beneath the surface. The city blurred past, a chaotic dance of lights and shadows.

When the car finally pulled into the underground garage, you practically flung the door open, desperate for space. Sukuna followed suit, his expression unreadable. The silence stretched between you, heavy with unspoken words.

As you stepped out of the elevator onto your floor, he caught your wrist, pulling you to a halt. His touch was electric, sending shivers up your spine. “Listen,” he said, his voice low and gravelly. “Again, I don’t do affection. It’s not in my nature.”

You met his gaze, challenge burning in your eyes. “And what if it’s in mine?”

His lips quirked, a hint of amusement. “Then you’re in for disappointment.”

But before you could retort, he leaned down, capturing your lips in a kiss. It was fierce, possessive—the kind that left no room for doubt. His mouth moved against yours, demanding and hungry. And for a moment, you forgot everything—the gilded cage, the blood on his hands, the danger lurking outside.

When he finally pulled away, you were breathless, your heart pounding. His eyes bore into yours, a storm of emotions swirling within. “That,” he murmured, “was a small affection.”

Your cheeks flushed, and you took a step back, steadying yourself against the wall. “I thought you said—”

“I know what I said,” he interrupted. “But, sometimes I crave a moment of tenderness..”

His ears turned a delightful shade of red, and he cleared his throat. “Go to your room, brat.”

And with that, he practically fled down the hallway, leaving you standing there, dazed and disoriented. You thought he was mad, but in reality, he was just adorably embarrassed. Perhaps there was hope for this guarded heart after all.

-

A gentle glow was created on the wooden floor by the morning light that slipped through the curtains. You sat up in bed and blinked, confused. You quickly wondered if you were alone in the quiet room. Maybe he had left early to go to work. 

You slipped out of bed, your feet sinking into the plush carpet. The penthouse was eerily silent, and you tiptoed across the hallway, pushing open the door to his room. Empty. The sheets were neatly folded, the pillows untouched. Great, another day without him. Even after last night, you thought. 

As soon as you entered the living room, your heart began to rush. The door to the balcony was slightly open, and there he was, sitting on its edge, staring down at the city. His shoulder tattoo was visible as he wear his "comfortable"-looking clothes and ruffled pink hair. To be honest, he did look quite nice now that you think of it. 

“You took the day off,” you said, your voice barely a whisper.

He glanced at you, his eyes unreadable. “Someone has to make sure you don’t escape.”

You swallowed, the weight of his words sinking in. “I’m sorry,” you blurted out. “For last night. I didn’t mean to—”

He waved a dismissive hand. “It’s in the past.”

“But—”

“Brat,” he interrupted, his tone sharp. “Move on from it.”

You bit your lip, the memory of his lips against yours still fresh. “Why are you like this?” you whispered. “One moment, you’re—”

“Because,” he snapped, “I can’t afford sentimentality. Not in my world.”

You turned away,  frustration warring within you. But then you remembered the kiss—the way he’d held you, his eyes. “Last night,” you said softly. “That wasn’t nothing, was it?”

His silence spoke volumes.

“Why?” you speak out. “Why bother?”

He stood, walking closer to you. His fingers brushing your cheek. 

He leaned closer, his breath warm against your cheek. "I care about you," he admitted, his voice barely audible. 

"More than I should." 

Your heart skipped a beat. "Why?" 

His lips brushed against your forehead, a fleeting touch. “Because you’re mine,” he murmured. 

You gaze up at him, and thoughts of confusion cross your mind. "What's causing him to act this way now? Maybe he's trying?" You gave it some thought.

With a swift dismissal, you backed away from Sukuna and asked, "U-uh, have you had breakfast?" You ask in an attempt to lighten the mood, eyes looking everywhere -too ashamed to even look him in the eye. 

He raises an eyebrow while his gaze remain fixed on your face.

"Breakfast?" he uttered, as though the word meant anything more than just food. "It's not necessary for me."

But you didn't give up, your curiosity winning out. You spoke softly, "You should probably eat." "Even monarchs require food."

He snorted. "Brat," he remarked in a sarcastic voice. "You're annoying."

Unaffected, you shrugged. "Perhaps. However, sometimes even a killer needs a little sweetness."

And just like that, the tension eased, leaving room for something fragile—a thread of connection between you and him.

A/N: Ok so I did say I *might* put smut in this part, but I think I'm gonna move that to another part (If I manage to figure out what to write) Sorry about the short writing :) God bless <3

TAG: @szuuyl , @dimplesxx , @ssetsuka , @kozutooru , @domainofmarie

(for some reason, I can’t tag the people in itallic.)

@xstom in tumblr 2024. DONT REPOST/COPY! !creds to those who own the dividers and banners!

[princess-glassred]

I have a really sweet au idea: Au where Bev and Eddie had kids with Tom and Myra, but after the divorce they were both left kind of broke and alone, so they move into an apartment together and kind of help each other raise their kids as platonic besties.

They each have one child, Eddie has a thirteen year old daughter named Sophia and Bev has a twelve year old son named Jack (i named them after Eddie and Bevs actors Jack Dylan Grazer and Sophia Lillis). It's important to note that neither Eddie nor Bev wanted kids, but now that their kids are here they are very dead set on trying to be the best parents they can. Unfortunately this takes place when they gang are a little bit younger and thus haven't become as super successful as they later will be, Eddie is still working a rather low end finance job (nothing as well paying as the risk analyst position) while Bev is working essentially as a designer for some fashion house, but not designing her own stuff yet. Tom and Myra both got the best lawyers because Tom is a vindictive asshole and Myra is a Karen, so poor Eddie and Bev are in a tough spot financially. Their apartment is pretty dismal, i mean they try to make it nice, but their bathroom/kitchen gets broken a lot and their fridge sometimes opens on its own, and since it's a two bedroom Jack and Sophia have to share a bedroom while Eddie and Bev share the other.

Ben and Richie sometimes come over to help them, Ben is head over heels for Beverly, he literally doesn't give a single fuck that she's a single mom, he loves her to bits and would do just about anything to help her out. He's kind of just some fuckin guy that comes over to the apartment sometimes but he's loaded and quite handy, so he's always helping them out. If they need grocery money, or money for a sitter, or if their kitchen sink is broken AGAIN he will he there for them. Richie on the other hand really is just some guy, he's Eddie and Bev's old friend from high school and he sometimes drops by to visit them and awkwardly interact with the kids.

Jack and Sophia have their own distinct personalities that bounce off their parents quite well I think. Jack is a very sweet and sentimental kid who clings to his moms side like glue. He adores his mother, mostly because he thinks she's so strong for leaving his abusive father and going out on his own. They're very close, to the point Bev often wonders if her son is... ya know 🏳️‍🌈? But she'd rather just wait for him to come to her about that than pressure him into admitting something he's not ready to share. Jack's also a bit of a theatre kid, he does lots of plays and is obsessed with musicals, so Bev makes him costumes for all his shows. Jack and Bev have the kind of relationship where they scream sing songs in the car together, usually girlboss anthems abour break ups because of how much Jack hates his dad. Tom really doesn't care about Jack at all and they are almost completely no contact, but he's pissed off that he cannot turn his son against Bev since he knows that would hurt her a lot. If he was was still in Jack's life he would no doubt abuse him and try to shame him for being so effeminate, which is percisely why Jack hates his guts. He honestly sees Mr. Hanscom and Mr. Kaspbrak as more of his father figures, because they've never tried to hurt his mom in anyway. Jack is really really hoping his mom will wake up and notice that Ben is madly in love with her, because not only would Jack love a sweet and caring step dad, he'd love a man that treats his mother right.

Sophia Kaspbrak is a bit of a problem child, although she certainly has her sweet qualities. She's like an older sister to Jack and she's a genuinely very good student, but it's clear Sophia's having problems with how radically different her life is now. She, unlike Jack, actually has a fairly good relationship with her mother and doesn't exactly understand why her dad had to leave. She understand that he's gay, but she doesn't understand why the divorce had to be so nasty and terrible, she doesn't understand that Myra was abusing Eddie emotionally and Eddie is really hesitant to share that. She shares a few physical traits with her mother, mostly being overweight and blonde, but she honestly looks more like her dad in the face. Eddie no doubt loves his daughter, but their relationship isn't nearly as good as Bev's and Jack's, mostly due to their conflicting personalities and Eddie's own issues.

Sophia is more interested in stereotypical girl things, she wants a boyfriend, she wants to be pretty, she wants to get invited to places and be seen as cool. This causes kind of a rift between her and her dad because, well, Eddie kaspbrak was never cool, neither as an adult nor child. She finds her dad kind of embarassing with how anxious and cagey he is, but she tries not to tell him that so it doesn't hurt his feelings. All of this isn't helped by the fact Eddie is informed Sophia is a bully at school to other girls, and Eddie feels like he's such a bad dad that he's raising the next Henry Bowers or Vic Criss. He really is trying to relate to his daughter though, but they're on basically two different planets. He goes dress shopping with her, he comforts her through her first period, he tries to listen to all her petty teenage girl drama and understand, but he's just really out of his element. He can't even ask Myra for help on this because he knows if he does she'll take it as a sign he's regretting leaving and might come "crawling back" any day.

Really I think Eddie's and Sophia's communication issues just have to do with his own fears of becoming like his mother, he's terrified of smothering her and suffocating her so sometimes he's either too indulgent or lax with her when she needs him. I think their relationship would flourish as she got older, but as it stands currently, Eddie feels like a terrible father pretty much all the time. Bev has to knock some sense into him about it every once in a while "Eddie, you're not bad dad, for god sakes, you'd give your daughter both your kindeys if she needed them." "You're doing your best, that's all you can do, Eds." "If you really don't wanna be like Sonia, all you gotta do is listen. That's it.". But Eddie still feels like shit about how he's raising Sophia, espcially because all of her teacher hate him and love Bev for some reason. Sometimes he will feel so bad about his own parenting that he will become to reliant on having Bev talk to her "woman to woman" when really he should be comforting her. Bev puts it very aptly by saying "I don't mind helping you raise her Eddie, and I also don't mind giving you advice on girl troubles, but she's your daughter, not mine. Who do you honestly think she wants to hear from right now?".

All the single parent angst aside though, this au is still pretty silly and light hearted at times. Bev and Eddie are CONSTANTLY mistaken for a married couple, even though they clarify over and over again that they're just friends who live together. Sometimes Bev and Eddie even get into a little playful contests about who's kid is worse "My daughter got sent home early cause she threatened to hit a girl" "Mine got a bucket stuck on his head this morning and i had to saw it off". I imagine Bev and Eddie also don't get out much anymore or have any real social lives these days, so the very first time they have a night to themselves without their kids they get high together and talk about their kids some more while they cry and eat junkfood. Sometimes they'll catch themselves getting way too excited about like... water filters and scrub brushes, and they suddenly realize that they're old as fuck and need to get out more.

Also even though Sophia and her dad clash on lots of things and she thinks Richie is a "total weirdo" she can tell he's in love with her dad and that his dad really likes him back, so she enjoys playfully teasing them both about it. The average sophia and Richie conversation is basically "I know you're scared my dad doesn't like you, but you shouldn't be. He does, he thinks your butts cute and that you're really funny." "Your dad thinks i'm funny!?". On the off chance that Richie and Bev go on a date with Eddie and Ben, i just imagine it's mostly a comedy of errors while Eddie and Bev act like hot messes the whole time. Bev shows up late with one of her heels snapped off and looking like a total mess to go in a fancy restaurant, while Eddie screams at some lady who cuts him and Richie off in traffic. Eddie and Richie never even get out of the car while Bev and Ben basically just walk around the city since she doesn't look nice enough to go in the restaurant now.

[hom3landr]

Hail Mary

Homelander x Unnamed OC

She’d left the faith a long long long time ago. But with a quickly growing desperation, she decides to cry for help.

CW: This is very much a vent fic and Christian themes are prevalent. Also full disclosure, the relationship between Homelander and the OC in this fic is not fluffy and is perceived as one-sided from the OC’s pov.

Homelander is long asleep as she finishes her prayers. Her eyes sting from scrunching them closed, as though the discomfort will send the words up faster. She means every word. She may doubt the effectiveness but the sentiment is sincere. The hope is too, even though most people not privy to her thoughts would hardly call her a believer. 

Still, she’s nice and kinder than the people at Vought deserve. She’s so sickly sweet that it makes her stomach turn sometimes. It’s as if she’s trying to make up for his cruelty tenfold. She’s sure it’s appreciated. She highly doubts it’s respected. She knows it isn’t trusted. How could it be? When a soft word from her is quickly lost in the echo of his hatred.

She can’t change him with her love. It’s futile and stupid to believe so. He sees her as a warm body. An easy lay he can turn to when he doesn’t want to try too hard. Her adoration is appreciated…but not respected. He isn’t cruel to her but he isn’t exactly kind either. The only moments of true tenderness happen after a good fuck, and even those moments quickly fade. It didn’t used to be like this. Not until his grand plan. She’s human. A fact he was able to overlook before is now a dirty little secret. She knows when the time comes he’ll tie up this sordid loose end.

She opens her eyes and stares up at herself in the mirror. Her face is blank. The accusing stare of her other self having long given up the fight.  She pictures herself a martyr, dying for love. A blasphemy that threatens to cancel out her recent pleas to heaven. He’s rubbing off on her. She’s starting to inflate her own importance in order to justify some reason for her actions. Not unlike Homelander’s mad claims of his divinity. She chides herself. She doesn’t believe she can save him. But she holds one last hope that powers that are greater than her might. Faith during adversity, that has to count for something. Even if her backside hasn’t felt a pew since she was a teenager and this is a desperate hail mary to erase the writing on the wall.

“But who prays for Satan? Who in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most”

Mark Twain isn’t exactly a biblical figure. But the quote makes sense to her. So she prays and prays and prays. Homelander would mock her for it if he knew. Then he’d roll her under him and make her cry his name to the heavens. Double whammy, blasphemy and premarital sex in one fell swoop. Her old pastor would be appalled. At least this time his fire and brimstone rails against her religious shortcomings would hold some weight. She holds shame for her complicity in Homelander’s crimes but she’ll never feel shame for the sex. It’s the only time she feels truly holy.

It’s one of God’s greatest commands, isn’t it? To love. She’s read that passage enough times. And she does love Homelander. So much so that she’s willing to give up her life for him. It’s why she doesn’t run away as she sees fate speeding towards them like a freight train.

John 15:13.

Or maybe she’s just fixated on the whole martyr thing again. 

She startles a little bit as he moans and twitches in his sleep beside her.  His brow furrows as he grips the sheets, the fabric clearly strained to its limits. He’s having a nightmare. And she fights back the urge to wake him out of it. Her throat closes up at the memory of the last time she tried, how he’d gripped her around the neck and squeezed in his lingering panic. No apology was given but he was so sweet to her the week after that she almost fooled herself into believing that her desperate pleas might have reached heaven after all. So no, she doesn’t comfort him. That will have to wait till the morning, if he even admits something was wrong at all. He’s stopped admitting a lot of things to her. He just can’t risk the ever looming plan. 

Maybe it is a lost cause.

 “God helps those that help themselves” She doesn’t remember where that’s from. If it’s from the bible or if it’s merely a quote that fits perfectly regardless of the origins.  Homelander certainly isn’t interested in helping himself out of the growing pit he’s digging beneath him. Well…not in any way that really matters. How can he? How can he crawl out when all he’s ever known is darkness?

She remembers the story of Moses. Rameses (it was Rameses wasn’t it?) was no peach. He was a slaver and a cruel ruler to the israelites. Not someone to be admired at all. Even at the peril of Egypt, he’d refused to let Moses’s people go. 

Except that wasn’t quite true, was it?

Exodus 9:12. 

“And the LORD hardened the heart of Pharaoh, and he hearkened not unto them; as the LORD had spoken unto Moses.”

Exodus 9:27

“Then Pharaoh summoned Moses and Aaron. “This time I have sinned,” he said to them. “The LORD is in the right, and I and my people are in the wrong.”

Exodus 10:1 

“And the LORD said unto Moses, Go in unto Pharaoh: for I have hardened his heart, and the heart of his servants, that I might shew these my signs before him:”

The verses pelt her mind like heavy rain. Her butt may not have felt a pew in a while but she still remembers. It had never seemed quite fair to her. Perhaps the plagues could have been avoided, had a point not needed to be made. He was about to let them go. God had removed his agency for the sake of a plan already written in the stars.  Ramses deserved punishment undoubtedly but for a God who was all about redemption… 

“You’re cherry picking”  

Mr. Fire and Brimstone speaks directly in her mind. That was always her cardinal sin. She sought out the good and ignored the judgement. She had the gall to question. It used to drive him mad. The fact that she’d never felt the urge to hate. He couldn’t scare her straight and it had wounded his pride.

Homelander didn’t need God to harden his heart anyway. Vought had done that themselves. 

There’s another whimper from the man beside her and her fingers twitch as she aches to soothe him. She’s survived the pain once and he’s suffered more than she’s ever had to. Surely, the pros outweigh the risks. She can take what comes if it means she can ease the burden he carries.

Damn…she just can’t shake the martyrdom. As if 

her actions aren’t selfish. As if her prayers aren’t a slap in the face to everyone he’s hurt. She can’t lose him. Her pleas are self-serving at best, downright cruel at worst. If divine intervention does happen, then God has stolen justice straight from the hands of Homelander’s victims. Redemption is a nice enough thought, when there’s no bodycount. 

Mumbled begging she can’t quite make out fills the silence now. A single tear drips down her cheek. A moment so perfectly, obnoxiously, melancholy, that it might have even won an Oscar had she been lucky enough to merely be an actor in a tragedy instead of a willing participant. Her throat tightens. 

Please

She prays. 

Do whatever you want to me. Damn me to hell in his place.  But please save him. I can’t. The world can’t. Please. Please save him from himself. 

No reply from the heavens but the mumbling stops. The nightmare passes. Salvation this isn’t but perhaps some peace. Perhaps the two of them aren’t lost to their grim fate after all.

Perhaps since his heart is already as hard as stone, heaven will decide to soften it instead. It would be a true blue miracle. God remembering his promise to Noah before he used Homelander to wipe the slate clean once more. A little rainbow emerging from the cold white sterility of Homelander’s childhood. 

She’ll keep her faith. She’ll keep praying for her sinner. And maybe, just maybe, she can finally take a break from the martyrdom.

[lurkingshan]

Happy wednesday!

So I was bored and thought I would ask a silly question.

From the bl couples we know and love, who do you think, if given the opportunity, would go completely overboard in their valentine day's celebrations? And what would they do?

Rose💜

Oh, Rose, what a delightful question. Now, if I may offer an observation to give context for this list: Valentine's Day is a specific kind of romantic celebration that many loving couples simply do not bother with. It's a cheesefest, a celebration of consumerism, and often a very public display of love that lots of folks just don't go in for, so a couple's absence from this list does not indicate a lack of genuine affection. Valentines Day is for simps (affectionate). And, in most (but not all) couples, there is only one simp in the relationship. With that said, let's talk about the top 10 simps in bl.

Karan, Cherry Magic Thailand

Let's get this out of the way right off the top, because Karan has reached levels of simpitude previously unknown to man. He is exactly the kind of nerd who would make a big embarrassing deal about this holiday while Achi blushes his way through the day. I believe he has learned from his bad date faux pas, however, so he will make sure to stick to things Achi actually likes and try to reign in the worst of his overspending to avoid making his boyfriend uncomfortable. I'm picturing a homemade lunchbox with heart shaped food, a big bouquet of flowers presented at the office in front of their coworkers, a romantic klongboat ride, and a sentimental gift like a framed photo.

Kurosawa, Cherry Magic Japan

Now you may think its cheating to include two different versions of the same character on this list, but I disagree because Kurosawa is the OG simp and their simping presents very differently. Kurosawa is going for a quieter display, making Adachi a nice dinner at home and reading him an original poem he composed on his lunch breaks. Adachi will blush and stammer and feel bad about not getting Kurosawa a gift, and Kurosawa will tell him his presence is gift enough.

Ten, Cooking Crush

Was there any doubt he would be on this list? Ten loves nothing more than a thoughtful, heartfelt act of service, and Valentines Day gives him a perfect excuse. He's making Prem a sentimental homemade meal tied to one of their cooking lesson memories, and he's created a new magnet featuring the two of them to go on Prem's oven mitt. Prem pretends to hate it but won't stop smiling every time Ten looks away, and later reveals he made them a heart-shaped dessert.

Yai, I Feel You Linger in the Air

Another poet for our list. Yai would love this cheesy ass holiday and take it as an excuse to dress Jom up all fancy, go dancing at the speakeasy, and whisper poetry into his ear to his heart's content. Jom with his modern POV on the holiday rolls his eyes at first, but then gets swept up in the romance and rewards Yai handsomely when they get home.

Hantae, Sing My Crush

This holiday was made for Hantae. He loves nothing more than being loud and embarrassing about his love for Baram. He has a whole Day of Fun planned for them, which Baram goes along with, pretending he didn't get Hantae anything until they get home and he pulls out his guitar to play a new original song he wrote for his man.

Gun and Cher, A Boss and A Babe

The rare simp4simp relationship, we have a twofer! Gun and Cher go all out on Valentines Day to the point of making it a competition for who can pull off the most surprises to make the other happiest. They do this at the office in full view of all their friends and coworkers, of course. In the end it's a draw and Gun lets the staff go home early to their sweethearts, everybody wins.

Gavreel, Gameboys

Picture Gavreel stalking Cairo around the house trying to smother him with kisses, attempting to cook a meal that he definitely burns, ands presenting Cairo with a new body pillow with his image on it for when they are apart. Cairo protests every step of the way, but is secretly touched and loving every minute.

Lian, Cutie Pie

Lian is a traditional romantic so he will be taking Kuea out for a fancy dinner, presenting him with a giant bouquet of flowers and the most expensive bottle of champagne available, and then taking him home for some sensual and loving missionary sex. Kuea eats it up.

Tinn, My School President

Did you think we were getting out of this list without mentioning our most promising young simp? Ha! Tinn loves this holiday and takes it as an excuse to engage in PDA all over campus. Gun returns the favor just to see him blush, and they end the day on a cute date out to an amusement park where they take lots of couple photos and generally nauseate all their friends with all their social media posts.

[carminecarnivale]

Literally no one is talking about this (that I’ve seen anyway) and the episode is old now but I can’t stop thinking about it so I’m making a post anyway.

This is about the scene in Helluva Boss season 2 episode 7 “Mammon’s Magnificent Musical Mid-Season Special” where a young imp and Fizzarolli sign to each other.

TLDR: The signing is wonky and the scene feels unearned.

DISCLAIMER: I AM NOT DEAF AND NOT AN ASL EXPERT. THIS IS JUST MY INTERPRETATION OF THIS SCENE. I DO NOT SPEAK FOR DEAF OR HOH PEOPLES’ OPINIONS.

Right. So, surface level, what do the writers *want* to have the signing mean? What is their desired English sentiment?

Kid: Fizzarolli! I’m a big fan!

Fizz: Come on over here

Kid: I want to be a clown just like you!

Fizz: You can do anything you want to do.

Cool, great. Now, what did they actually sign? DISCLAIMER 2: THERE IS NO WRITTEN FORM OF ASL, ASL CAN BE SORT OF TRANSCRIBED IN ENGLISH BUT IT IS NOT WRITTEN ASL.

Kid: F-CLOWN (name sign, “Fizzarolli”) I BIG FAN.

Fizz: [Gesture to come over]

Kid: CLOWN SAME-AS-YOU.

Fizz: IF/SUPPOSE WANT, CAN-aff WORK.

On the most basic level, this is fine. It more-or-less represents what the writers wanted to be said. But it’s just…not great. It’s so simple compared to what the writers wanted to say. It makes the translation put up on screen look wrong.

The kid makes no indication that they “want” to be a clown, they could very well have been meaning that they currently ARE a clown, maybe even in training. There was no indication of “becoming” or a future signifier. There was a general lack of pronouns making it sound vague. The final sentiment from Fizz is much more grounded than what the writers wanted him to say. “You can do anything!” vs “you could work as a clown if you wanted to.” The difference speaks for itself.

There ARE signs for the sentiment they want to convey!!! They exist!!! LOOK: https://youtu.be/JbfWzc0-R6E?si=FxvbC9l-hvArLPg0

“But wait!” I hear you say. “What if they got the signs first and mistranslated it?”

Since this is an English show for English speakers that must be written in English, no. They wrote the translation first and put mediocre signing in the episode.

Could the sentiment have been gutted for time/animation constraints? Quite possibly! But we’ve seen the kinds of shots the Helluva team can pull off (Striker’s 3/4 turn with the pistol, DHORKs full camera action spin, to name a few) so I don’t doubt they COULD have animated the signing appropriately if they wanted to.

Now, they did have an ASL consultant for this episode (the bare minimum we love to see it, AND on the very last page of credits? wow), his name is Salvador Baltazar. There’s not much out there on him, but he’s primarily an interpreter. There is no way to know what he helped with or how much he dictated the scene and I don’t plan on wildly speculating. It’s great that he’s there, why did he let this signing air the way it did though.

Finally, what’s the purpose of this scene? Why is it here? Why these characters in this situation?

More competent analysts than I have picked apart the woobification of Helluva characters and how, once they’re not a villain anymore, their characterization and morals get completely overhauled to appeal to the “oh he’s so traumatized!” crowd.

I think this scene is a part of that. And it got its desired reaction.

Seeing celebrities interact well with children is already something that would net a character some popularity brownie points. If that child is clearly an “other” and the celebrity does something special to recognize that child? Brownie fucking bakeries.

The purpose of this scene is to show that not all of Fizz’s fans suck, yes, but also to show how kind and nice and thoughtful Fizz is just to hammer home how TragicTM his situation is.

And the fans went wild!!!! Here is a character putting in effort to learn ASL and speak with child fans! Wow he’s so great! He’s so amazing! What Herculean tasks he’s taken upon himself to be so cool! Wow! (Not everyone says it like that, but that was the general vibe of the Helluva tag following the episode’s release).

It got fans speculating; “I wonder if this ties into his Tragic BackstoryTM!” We’ll probably never know because Fizz’s fluency in ASL, his role in the Deaf community, is not something the writers care about exploring. They didn’t include a scene with ASL because they wanted to have a deaf character, they included it to make Fizz look good.

Something a lot of people have brought up about this kid—and rightfully so—is their age. What’s this 9 year old doing at the blow-out clown sex appeal concert? How did they get into the VIP section? Couldn’t you contrast the possessive critic guy with another adult who isn’t gross? Wouldn’t it make more sense if this character was an ADULT at the ADULT SHOW?

Yes! Yes it would! But would an adult signer garner half as many pity points as a young child with stars in their eyes? No. I doubt it would.

This scene is not here to show respect for deaf people. Just like the show doesn’t respect deaf people. I ask you to check out the captions for season 2 episode 6. Go on.

Because you know what you’ll find?

A bunch of loud, keysmashing inanity, that ignores describing what’s being said in favour of making queef jokes. These are not functional captions. For a show that prides itself on being just as professional as what you can find aired on TV or streaming, this is laughably bad. This is YouTube 2013 gaming jump scare compilations bad. And those captions are Still There DESPITE people pointing out that they’re not functional.

From a studio that’s fine with sabotaging their own captions I really shouldn’t be surprised with their treatment of ASL as sloppy, basic, and only really there for pandering.

Jesus Christ, do better.

[yukipri]

The Bad Batch Ep S2 Ep 11 - Thoughts & Spoilers

Spoilers,

Spoilers,

Spoilers,

So everything's beneath the cut!

I know with the Mando S3 premiere, this episode may have gotten even less attention than the rest of the show. BUT this episode had some incredible things, so here are *some* of my thoughts.

FIRST:

HIM!!!!! and he was NAMED and had LINES!!!!

This is super exciting, because while we glimpsed Scorch in Season 1 while they were rescuing Gregor, I don't think he was mentioned anywhere by name, meaning it could have just been a random other RC with similar paint.

Delta Squad (from Legends) was technically canonized when they cameo'd in the Clone Wars, but it's so nice to see them again! It makes me pray that the other 3 members have escaped and are with Rex, because Scorch is *definitely* still super chipped....

Next, the MAIN thing I was super excited about:

So many things in this episode made me absolutely SCREAM, but the main one was probably FINALLY some movement on the connection between Nala Se and Omega. That's something I've been dying for more elaboration on since S1.

Omega is clearly a kid created for a specific reason, raised under specific circumstances, who has a unique bond with Nala Se, the primary creator of all clones. I was sure this would be part of the central storyline of TBB so I'm SO GLAD we're finally getting to it.

The thing is, Omega clearly has very complex feelings towards Nala Se, and Nala Se also considers Omega "special." SUPER curious to see where they go with this, especially since Nala Se seems to be reluctant to help the Empire. Understandable, given the destruction of Tipoca City, but she also never struck me as the sentimental type. I'm personally very wary of the "care" Nala Se seems to be showing Omega, and based on what we currently know, doubt that she means it sincerely—Omega (or her DNA) is likely valuable in some way.

Not sure how I'll react if they paint Nala Se as a sympathetic character, because I doubt I'll ever forgive her for what she did to Fives. Her treatment of Fives, which is also indicative of her treatment of all other clones. Her being kind(?) to Omega doesn't erase that.

I am absolutely confident that this lab and Nala Se/Omega is part of a plot that will connect to the experiments done to Grogu, which in turn will connect to Snoke + the return of Sidious in the ST. That's the running thread, to provide explanation/justification for that "twist."

While I think TBB is fun, THIS is what I personally was waiting for—Omega's true identity and why she's of value to Nala Se, how she therefore fits into the greater plan Nala Se had, and how that in turn affects not just Fett clones, but all the cloning that runs throughout SW.

I also LOVED that Omega showed her skills here—yes, she DOES know her way around Kaminoan tech!! The only time we've really seen it before is when Cad Bane kidnapped her + the S1 finale. She was Nala Se's personal MEDICAL ASSISTANT. She is older than the Batch! She KNOWS things!!

I was genuinely expecting (hoping) to learn more about Omega throughout the entire show, and we do see her being skilled + confident around various tools, but that's around it. I hope her past that she doesn't want to talk about is dragged out into the open in these last few eps.

I have a LOT of theories about Omega's past and her connection to the Batch and their origins (pst it's all in my fic), some of which will likely no longer be canon compliant, but ah well!

Other things that really made me happy:

-The Batch showing some growth due to the last episode, and growing a spine to stand up against Cid. Both pointing out that she didn't help them like they've helped her, and demanding a higher cut, though she did get the final say in the end. It was still a massive improvement!

-The ZILLO BEAST. First of all, it was definitely one of the coolest creatures in TCW, so it was super exciting to see it brought back! Its physiology is fascinating, and I loved how we got to see it visibly grow due to it feeding on electricity. This is actually the second creature we've encountered in TBB that seems to like electricity as an energy source, the first being in S1. It's neat to see this pattern, perhaps they're distantly related species?

I also LOVED that it tied into more experiments. I need to rewatch the eps, but i think it was implied in TCW that Palps was interested in the Zillo beast's armor, so I loved seeing that actually followed up on!

In general, I'm just a huge fan when world building plot points connect or are followed up on to build continuity and a greater view of the SW universe, and this episode definitely connected a bunch of points, so that was awesome!

Anyway, only 5 eps left of S2, excited to see where it goes!

[cin-cant-donate-blood]

I am not anti fujoshi and I do think that ultimately you can write whatever you want; I don't care if a straight woman "fetishizes" gay men or whatever. Perhaps I won't read her work, but I don't think her work should be, like, illegal.

But,

I do find the pattern of gay (male) fiction being written mostly by women to be disconcerting on some level, though it might mainly be the publishing industry that is at fault.

What I mean is, if I walk into a bookstore and look for the "gay shelf" (and it is an amazing thing that such a shelf can now be found in most medium-to-large bookstores, if it is not an entire aisle, so let's not discount that progress) what am I going to see if I look at the names of the authors?

Women's names, overwhelmingly. Perhaps some of them are closeted transgender men, I doubt all of them are, so it is irrelevant. Perhaps every single one of them is being careful and respectful and writing well researched representation. That's not really relevant either.

There is something that makes me a little uncomfortable that all of it is happening on the terms of people who are not gay or bisexual men.

The person I'm thinking about is myself when I was fifteen, still reeling from my first crush and still overcome at random moments by overwhelming waves of nausea and dread and disgust at what I was. I was acutely aware that every single love story I had ever read or seen had been about a boy meeting a girl, so even if I had not identified as homophobic before this, there was a hard-to-shake feeling that I was now not going to be able to have any kind of "happy ever after". What I was, was a deviation to be permitted, not anything aspirational or beautiful.

I turned to fiction. I turned to movies and comics. I wanted to see people like me be happy, and I did see those things and they did make me cry, thank you very much.

A lot of what I saw was made by women, too. Even though though they were usually respectful, I could tell that there were details not adding up: things that were not known or perhaps being deliberately ignored.

That doesn't make what I found bad media, or its authors bad people, but the overarching pattern is still that there are huge numbers of young gay people being inducted to their own culture – or whatever I should call it – by outsiders to that culture. Again, even if that representation was perfect, why is it outsiders who are to make it perfect?

Women who are into MM stuff often say things like "I am a guest in this space", which is a nice sentiment, but honestly I feel like I am the guest here.

What can be done about this? I am not sure. Unfortunately this is one of those "Identifying a Problem but Not a Solution" posts.

[picathartidae]

For the most recent round of ask game I'd love to hear your answers for 5, 9, 23, and 26. 💙

I'm still answering for Alassane, despite him being a Dark Urge, because my Tavs are all from a different D&D setting and none of them are sufficiently fleshed out when it comes to the Forgotten Realms. I really hope that's okay!

5. Did your Tav have any formal or informal employment? If yes, what was their job? If no, how did they make ends meet? How did they feel about it?

The closest Alassane ever got a real job was when he was about 10/11 years old and found himself homeless and briefly wandering the Outer City. Through various wacky happenstance, a blacksmith took pity on him and he ended up becoming the man’s apprentice for a few years. It ended, as all nice things in Alassane’s backstory do, with murder, when he was 15. From that point on, he was a career criminal and assassin, and finally ending up as an adventurer/mercenary during and after the events of the game.

It all instilled a very blunt pragmatism in Alassane, as well as a general lack of respect for money or the concept of private property. He doesn’t have strong feelings about what he does, he just does whatever he has to in order to survive and achieve his goals.

9. What was your Tav doing when they were taken by the mind flayers?

He was catatonic, as he had been for maybe nine months by that point, and imprisoned in the mind flayer colony deep beneath Moonrise Towers. Then his pod was shoved onto a nautiloid, and the rest is history.

23. What are 2-3 songs that your Tav would relate to?

I always struggle with these kinds of questions, because I don’t really engage with songs based on lyrics, but rather entirely on vibes. Alassane’s vibes are mainly aggressive electronic, grunge, and alt rock — with a few bits of other extremely eclectic nonsense thrown in. The best I can do are songs I have written Alassane doing things to, and why I picked them.

1991, by Golden Features

This is literally the song I wrote the dance scene in his first chapter to, and is probably the closest I have to a ‘main theme’. It’s electronic nonsense with no lyrics at all, which I liked and thought fit him because the heavy synth feels very artificial and unnatural in a medieval fantasy setting. Since Alassane (as the Dark Urge) was created rather than born, it seemed very accurate for the character, and helps give off this terrifying and uncanny vibe. And I could so very easily imagine him doing an impromptu Fosse-style jazz ballet dance routine to this song.

Let You Go, by RY X

For slower and more introspective scenes, usually dream sequences that aren’t outright nightmares. This is very much a song for post-amnesia Alassane that kind of has come to represent his growth as a character because there is actually a bit of symmetry with his arc in the lyrics.

Elddansurin, by Heilung

It’s a good aggressive sounding song with lots of percussion and growling that flows into something a bit softer and more melodic as the song goes on. It’s got some nice dualism to it, and I think that reflects Alassane’s whole deal very nicely. Heilung is also one of my favourite bands and this song is amazing fun to write violence to.

26. Does your Tav have a treasured item with them? If yes, what is it and why is it special? If no, how do they feel about item sentimentality in general?

He’s not an overly sentimental guy, at least not about material possessions. The closest thing he has to a treasured possession is a serrated dagger he woke up with on the nautiloid, and that’s because it’s basically the only connection he has to his past after the amnesia. Before he lost his memories, I doubt that knife meant anything to him at all.

What he is sentimental about is his name, which is its own complicated mess of a subplot that relates to his foster family and how he perceives himself. It's his last connection to the person he wishes he still was, when he was still an innocent child and before Bhaal ruined everything. His foster family was desperately important to him, and their murder was what broke him. He clings to his name in the vain hope that one day, he can find that boy in himself again.

[wyrmwhispers]

✅ list one or two favorite lines you’ve written and explain why they’re your favorite

🧮 what are you working on? describe it in 20 words or less

💕 whats your favorite part of your writing process?

✅- "So he sat at dinners while her icy gaze bore into him, and if he talked about his late lord father more than usual then that was simply the salt air making him sentimental. And if he mentioned bluntly how they were kin and dared her to refuse him, then it was his dragon's blood, which could never be doubted. "

This ones from chapter three of my fic i make a fist (i make it count) and is technically a bit more than one line but whatever.

I had this one in my mind for a while, and the first part about the salt air making Jace sentimental was easy enough to think of but in my head there was always a second part to it, the part about him mentioning that he was kin to Rhaenys, but i couldn't figure out what the second part to that one was to mirror the first bit. It was probably one of the last things I wrote for this chapter and when I came up with the last bit about dragon's blood i was like "Ohhhh thats it". It's also a little bit of a callback to the first line of the fic so there's that too.

"He didn’t think she would- she knew more than most the consequences of ill-chosen husbands and wives- but heirs to the Iron Throne did not often get much of a choice. His mother knew that too."

This is from the same chapter and fic as the one before. There was another line I considered that was very similar in that they were both almost insights into Rhaenyra from Jace's perspective. I think I like them because Jace has a very particular view of Rhaenyra for most of his life. And although she is the root of many of his issues he would never and could never blame her or even truly resent her for it even though maybe he should. But in this line in particular he raises the question of would she do to me what Viserys did to her when he married her to Laenor. And then says no, she knows the better, knows of the consequences- and what he's not saying is that he especially knows the consequences. Then he also adds that she didn't have a choice and he may not also. Although Jace and Rhaenyra can be rather different- for example Rhaenyra is known to flout duty, Jace embraces it- they are similar in that they are heirs to a throne that is not promised for them because their claims are not steadfast. Something Jace may be more aware of than Rhaenyra.

Also something Jace is doing here, that I always write him doing is kind of talking around things- especially his bastardy- in his thought. This chapter takes place at the dinner after the petitions for Driftmark and right before Viserys dies. In that moment especially he will not even mentally acknowledge any of it. He just kind of references it, "consequences of ill-chosen husbands". He knows the truth, but its a deadly secret and so he will not even give it any truth in his mind. There's better examples of this in my writing than this one, but I wanted mention it.

🧮- I hope you're feeling Rhaenyra because you're getting Rhaenyra. So. much. Rhaenyra.

💕- It will always be thinking of ideas, but I also love when a scene I've been struggling with just clicks and I've got to write it Now or else I'll forget it and it won't be the same, Its a very nice feeling

[sokkastyles]

ATLA LIVE ACTION EP8 THOUGHTS:

I enjoyed seeing the gaang participate in the battle, but where are the NWT forces?

I'm not sure why the decision was made to change the dialogue in the goodbye scene with Zuko and Iroh. I doubt viewers new to the story even remember who Lu Ten was. There's also no particular reason for Zuko to say this here other than that we should have him say something sentimental. It's also just that Zuko at this point in the show, even though we know he loves Iroh, isn't really ready to be that emotionally open, and should not be. That was part of the point in the original scene when Iroh is emotional and Zuko shies away from it. You can still feel the love between the characters but the tragedy is in how Zuko isn't ready to accept it yet, and that mirrors how he's choosing to chase Aang, and by extension his father's love, doing what is basically a suicide mission.

All the waterbending women standing together during the battle is what was missing from the original. Emphasizing that this is not just about Katara but everyone.

And Yue being a waterbender and fighting emphasizes that too. Nice touch.

"Yes, Master Katara!"

What Zhao says implies that only the Northern waterbenders draw power from the moon?

We could have learned about the healing Oasis without the uneccesary violence to Momo.

I was worried that the glimpses in the trailer of the spirit oasis looked less natural, but my fears are put to rest here.

Loved the zutara spirit oasis fight.

Zhao realizing that the koi fish are the spirits feels very "old man yells at cloud." Obnoxious man yells at fish.

"Even Ozai wouldn't want that." Are you really sure? The Phoenix King would disagree.

WHY IS THIS SCENE SO STATIC? Iroh and Zhao are supposed to be in a dire struggle but they just stand there talking to each other. In the original, Iroh takes a fighting stance as he delivers the great line about unleashing tenfold on Zhao if he tries to harm the spirit. Here he just stands and shouts, despite how much easier it is for live action to actually have their characters MOVE.

Is it just me or does the show keep contradicting itself on what Zhao's plan is? Previously he said he didn't want to kill all the waterbenders and now he's saying he does. Which, let's be real, the FN absolutely does want to do. Sozin was willing to kill airbenders just to stop the Avatar. And the logical extension is that they would then have to decimate every other nation until nothing was left.

"Do you understand what that's like?" "Yes, I do."

I have to admit, the battle is pretty impressive. The waterbenders losing their bending is a nice touch.

Missing the Zuko/Aang moments and have mixed feelings about Aang purposefully choosing to meld with the Ocean Spirit but the themes of sacrifice are good and am kind of interested to see where this takes the story.

Zuko/Zhao fight good

"It was all a game." Yeah. And Azula identifying the blue spirit as Zuko, which I kinda predicted! But I still maintain she should have recognized the mask, not the sword. This show has shown its willingness to acknowledge the Search's existence, so it should have been the mask that represents their mother that Azula identified.

Did Iroh just kill Zhao?!?

Love the iceberg imagery with Aang imprisoned in the ocean spirit with Katara calling out to him to come back. And here's the "we are your family" speech. Aang sacrificing himself because he feels like he doesn't belong and Katara wanting him to be part of her world. This is good stuff. I just don't really feel why Katara needs Aang here. Even though I don't like KA, at least I get a sense in the original that they are important to each other. That's missing here. I feel like if I hadn't watched the original I would not get it at all.

"My daughter always made her own choices." Look. OG Yue sacrifices herself because that is what she has done her whole life, a girl who lives for her duty. This Yue sacrifices herself because she chooses to, as a spiritual leader of her tribe who rejected an offer of marriage and made her own choices. It feels much less like fridging this way.

The taking of Omashu is great. Awkward that Ozai is explaining it in exposition to the Fire Sage like he wouldn't already know.

I still don't buy that Ozai would be like "well, let's see if Zuko survives." He would want to keep tabs on what Zuko is doing. Especially now. In the original, Iroh's outright treason was a big plot point. The same thing happens here but Ozai just has nothing to say about it? Iroh fights against the Fire Nation, Zuko is legally made a traitor, they vanish under mysterious circumstances, and Ozai is just like "lol that's chill let's see what happens." Even his reasoning, that if Zuko is strong he'll survive, doesn't make much sense. A Zuko who is left to survive is likely to come back stronger and less loyal. Ozai says the things he does are to make Zuko stronger but Ozai really does not want him to be strong, because that means there's a risk that he might develop independence.

Also this contradicts what Zhao said about how Ozai never wanted Zuko to succeed. So what is Ozai's game? I hear we've been renewed so maybe we'll find out, but honestly I don't think the writing on this show is consistent enough to get my hopes up.

[nullshocked]

Six Song Soundtrack Playlist

Tagged by @gravedigg

Doing this for Julien as requested uwu I'll go in depth below the cut.

1. An event that defines your character's past

Undress me, the lights low. I’m dying in your bedroom Your passion, your eyes close and I've been so low I saw your skin from the back and it freed me I saw your face in the soul…

2. How your character sees themselves

Hard headed Difficult person I’m sought after I guess Couldn’t care less Its Been nice Wasting All your time

3. How others view them

You're desperate in finding something else to please you You've been searching your whole life Something to mute, change, or just distract you Something to put inside you to give the illusion of life Cause you've always been barely alive

4. Their closest relationship (platonic or romantic)

I don't want to hold back I don't want to slip down I don't want to think back to the one thing that I know I should have done I don't want to doubt you Know everything about you I don't want to sit across the table from you wishing I could run

5. A major fight scene

I wish I had a reason My flaws are open season For this, I gave up trying One good turn deserves my dying

6. End credits song

Suffering that I see all around It's enough to keep me crashing down 'Til I, I'm wrecked and wreathing from these falls Still I believe there's a wood in the wire And I believe there's a way through the fire And I, believe, there's a joy that blooms beyond these walls

1. An event that defines your character's past

There's a lot of different ones, but the one that really kind of changed the direction of his life was the first time he ever did drugs and the series of events that followed. It led directly to his addiction, the manipulation, to being used the way he was, and hindsight has given him a lot of time to stew on those feelings. COOL.

2. How your character sees themselves

An object to be played with, used, and then discarded at the end of the night. A pretty doll to make people smile, and whose own feelings, desires, and needs corrupt and damage everyone around him. Yeah he's fine.

3. How others view them

A bit of a mess, desperately scrambling to appear normal and constantly failing. (Particularly how his surrogate big-sister and surrogate big-sister-in-law view him, not as pathetic exactly but like... yeagh,,,,)

4. Their closest relationship (platonic or romantic)

Okay so first of all. I can just vividly picture Julien singing along to this on the radio and holding Angel's hands and doing a little dance with it. Because he's a fucking dweeb. (Angel thinks it's endearing.) But also because like.... there's this sentiment of not wanting to worry about other stuff and just love someone with his whole heart. And he does. :)

5. A major fight scene

So there was a time where he was fighting for his life, but it didn't really involve an actual fight. You can extrapolate from there.

6. End credits song

Hope in seemingly hopeless times, and grasping onto little glimmers of happiness wherever you can find them. It's an important theme to Julien's story, I think.

I'll tag @patchworkgargoyle, @thetalee and @durgeteriormotives (Unless y'all have already done it. Or just don't want to. Live your best life.)

[arcplaysgames]

I just get the impression that Akechi is Reverie's Mean Bitch Boyfriend and everyone in the Thieves is baffled that they are going out because what the fuck does Reverie see in this guy. And all the girls are like "ooooooh. Okay."

But Akechi just speaks to Reverie on another level. So much of Reverie's life is being contained and not causing too much trouble because his probation thing, but Akechi is like a total fucking asshole and responds best when Reverie is an asshole right back, and like. Man. I get it. I really get it lmao.

Its easy to imagine Reverie hanging out with the gang and saying something just a little too Fucking Mean and they're like "did you have lunch with Akechi" and he's like ".... Oh. Yeah. Whoops. Sorry, I'll dial it back."

MEANWHILE out lil sister is having a hard time. Like, man, not to diminish the pain anyone went through because Maruki's deal, but Yusuke and Futaba and Haru in particular have it really goddamn rough and it's painful.

I love every moment that the game lets you be understanding and empathetic with Futaba.

This moment in particular should be stamped on the brain of everyone who has mental illness. Futaba tries to tell Reverie he should be mad at her, because she's angry with herself and wants to sublimate that emotion onto others. She wants him to be mad at her because then it's almost easier to deal with all of this happening. It's a situation where kindness almost hurts more than the reprimand, but kindness is still what's needed.

persona 5 royal where has this writing been!!!!!! i'm yelling

Anyway, Futaba pops her final persona. Glow down. I want A Dark Planet Lit By Daft Punk again. 8C It's fine, it's not terrible, the reference is neat, but also sigh.

I do like the Technomancy vibe of Futaba. The framing of her work that way is neat.

Next up is my man Yusuke and okay, one: Yusuke's winter outfit is FLY AS HELL, look at that. Look at how gorgeous that jacket is, with the ink bottle teal and the bold buttons and the skinny jeans. Amazing, truly.

Two, this room makes me want to scream. There is a cardboard box of fruit that makes me think he walked through a park and just picked stuff to eat and then decided it was all too photogenic so its set aside for a still life. The supplies on the floor, the canvases blocking his fucking storage space, this is all just pitch fucking perfect.

Love that he's a prospit dream honestly.

I'll be real, going to every Thief and having them apologize to Reverie for falling for Maruki's trick is a little bit blah, but the extra details for each is fun. The moment when Yusuke is so ashamed he won't even look at Reverie is nice and heartfelt.

funny how when i talk to futaba the game always gives me the exact options i wanna say but never with yusuke

sigh

oh my dear fucking god

i mean. wow. i don't really see Yusuke's soul in the Pimpdaddy Maestro of the Techno Goth Club?

This one is even more baffling than the Susano-o persona for him, so I'm just. Yeah. OKay.

To be clear: This design is amazing, I love it, I LOVE THE SHOES, LOOK AT THOSE FUCKING SHOES. but wow. Yusuke huh. Okay. I miss Goemon.

that said he gets Heat Riser But For The Whole Party and wow holy shit that's so powerful

Ryuji time. Once again the game gives me the option I want.

Listen. I am mad at how not gay this game is. If Ryuji was the only gay option, I'd still go stag. Or date Haru. (man i shoulda dated Haru)

anyway Ryuji's is particularly blah but the only amusing moment is when he decides his punishment is to do standing squats until Reverie says he can stop

opens mouth

shuts mouth

Nah I'll save my thoughts on Ryuji for later.

anyway Ryuji's persona has joined the 1% i guess bc he's on a yacht now.

That or he won a free boat ride for three. Where is T-Pain.

Haru confirmed for Prospit, as if there was any doubt.

Her room makes me nervous tbh, like, I feel like I'm in a southern furniture showroom. Did HGTV do this, Haru?

LOVE THIS SENTIMENT. I love that when kindness is offered she is flat out like "Thank you but that's not what I need right now." That's powerful tbh, I love it.

HARU GETS TO SAY THE THESIS OF THE PLOTLINE OUT LOUD.

So fucking what if you put a band aid on everyone's fucking problems? New problems will arise. Do you intend to delete each and every one?

This shit reminds me of rich and powerful people who are born into it and haven't experienced hardship for the majority of their lives, so when something mildly inconvenient happens, they treat it like a federal fucking issue because they have no skills to handle anything.

Maruki's plan is to basically eviscerate everyone's personal growth in perpetuity. Like, as you walk around Shibuya and stuff, you do actually overhear people concerned about all this happiness and the lack of contrasts.

I mean, I'm a depressed poor sick queer who grew up in a trailer park. There are moments in my past that define me and they are Not Good moments. I would still not take Maruki's deal.

Maruki needed to meet Toranosuke honestly and talk about societal reform. You know Tora is one of those "what if we gave addicts places to live for free and created a UBI" people.

GLOW DOWN. There was nowhere to go but down when you have the literal best persona in the main cast. But also that Life Wall is amazing.

I overwrote Psy Amp for it. I am dedicated to my build on Haru. She walks up and its time for the Gun Show. I wish she got Akechi's Riot Gun skill, you have NO idea. She'd tear shit UP and give Myriad Truths a run for its money.

anyway here is Futaba and Ann petting Morgana. shout out to Akechi all the way in the back trying to ignore everyone.

ANYWAY we're at the end of this post and I'm gonna complain about Ryuji, feel free to peace out.

So Persona really likes having the one party member who is kind of stupid. Just... not book smart and always doing poorly in class and always missing out on vital information. It's good joke fodder, I get it.

In P4, that was Kanji and Chie, and in P3 it was Junpei. I respect and love these characters, and I have been banging my head against why I just! I just hate Ryuji! I really do! I have never disliked a persona character this much yet!

And I think the thing about Kanji and Junpei and the other Kinda Dumb characters is that they have low book smarts but they are often the most empathetic and emotionally intelligent characters in the game. Kanji was the fucking HEART of the party from the moment he joined onward, was always coming out and says profound shit, was the one who stepped up and was like "hey lets let Naoto and their shadow hash it out, we can handle the fight and this is going to help them." He was the kindest person in the party.

And Junpei, I still think that was some apex of writing, the time when Junpei was like "hey, I apologize for this thing I did to you, it was disrespectful and I'll do better." And his connection to Chidori was the rocket strapped to his arc. He was emotional and kind and he fucked up several times and he apologized for it.

Ryuji just. LACKS THAT ENTIRELY. He doesn't have that. He's not the emotional heart of the team, he struggles to be empathetic, he upsets people and gets off scott-free without an apology. He's treated like the Best Friend and its so completely unearned. I would not tell Ryuji shit about me because I have no confidence in him being cool. He is Yosuke Hanamura without the rebound, it's Joker Mode all the time.

The ball was so thoroughly dropped with Ryuji I'm kinda baffled, because Atlus is usually good at the Token Best Friend guy and making him one of the more complex characters in each game.

Maybe its because Joker himself is such a strong character that Ryuji doesn't need to act as the stand-in protagonist like Junpei and Yosuke did. Or, maybe it's because functionally Morgana fills Ryuji's role in the party instead so those emotionally intelligent moments are given to Morgana instead.

It's weird and frustrating and I am annoyed at Ryuji both in a Watsonian sense and a Doylist sense.

Okay that's enough hateration holleration in this dancery, lets do the Palace.

[inscryptions]

there are three constants: the sun, the moon, and alhaitham’s ability to grind kaveh's gears. an unfortunate reality in its own right, though the architect ought to be grateful for any semblance of stability and reliability in his life, considering how often things (and people) seem to slip through his fingers.

the past is complicated, and relationships even more so. a stranger turns into a best friend, and a best friend to…well. whatever this is now. in an odd way, it reminds kaveh of the thesis he once ripped up and pieced back together all those years ago — still comprehensible, though far removed from its original state. 

but even in the face of never-ending arguments and bickering, there is an indisputable truth to contend with: alhaitham has done for him what others have not. and though kaveh is loathe to admit it, he finds that the most unshakeable part of his life is a friend that will never change — for better or for worst. 

he waits for alhaitham to step out before sneaking into the other's bedroom. it’s there that kaveh places a bottle of wine on the nightstand, along with a book titled, “In Other Words — A Unique Collection of “Untranslatable,” Culturally-Bound Words Across Teyvat.” 

A note is stuck to its cover: 

“I skimmed through this and thought you'd find it interesting. ”

With a P.S at the bottom:

“In the spirit of the New Year, drink to whatever it is that makes you happy in your own time. Just make sure you wash your glass after. I've already done the dishes.”

Signed with a flourish,  - Kaveh 

Oh.

I shouldn't be so surprised, considering how sentimental the man is, but finding that Kaveh has obtained gifts for me still takes me off-balance a bit. Perhaps I have only my history with him to blame for my lack of expectation, in which case he has succeeded at springing this gift on me. And how thoughtful it is, as befitting the man: a copy of In Other Words, which despite the resources at my disposable I had had yet to get my hands on the most recent version; and a rather delectable-looking vintage that based on its appearance will do well for welcoming the beginning of the new year. Despite the words on the note, he must've spent some time finding and procuring these items, and for a moment I wonder how much he spent on them. If he hadn't saved up beforehand... well, it makes me curious, and hopeful that he was able to get a good commission preceding their acquisition. And that, of course, he didn't spend all of said commission on these gifts.

I like to think that after so long I have become well-versed in the particular language that is Kaveh, and for all that we (more often than not) rile each other up after our fall-out, we still have at least a shadow of the friendship we once shared. This present wishing me a cordial New Year's is evidence of that on his end. After everything, he still cares in some way, shape, or form. It's... kind of nice, these little moments in which I realize all over again that our brotherhood, though tattered and torn to shreds, was not irreparably burned to ashes.

And now I don't feel as nervous or silly about the new foreign toolset I snuck in his nightstand. If he hadn't gifted me anything, he would've most likely felt embarrassment at having nothing with which to reciprocate as well as believed he'd incurred a debt and attempted to pay it back and, well, that's one headache I definitely don't need. Apparently our timing lined up well in the end, and how funny is that? (I don't think I'll be able to keep a straight face however if that Fontainian curve ruler makes its way into his hair with the rest of his architectural accountrements. No doubt it works well for him, and it still gets me every time that it does so well. It's very Kaveh, now that I think about it.)

I chuckle as I take both presents and hunt down a clean goblet before pouring myself a glass and sitting down to crack open the book. Now I want to see his reaction to the toolset if only for the look on his face.

"Mm, happy New Year indeed."

[kusundei]

iiiii. am. normal. i mean? as normal as i’ll ever be.? its just like. yeah no i feel better sort of but thats also the bad part. oh bcuz who am i.? im trying again not to condemn myself over it but i cant exactly help feeling bad whenever iiii feel okay again. who am i to be normal??? to act like everything js okay and nothing happened?? its just. incredibly selfish. half the reason i keep just kind of distracting myself is because if i am alone for too long j will start thinking about it and i’ll be evil but isnt that whats supposed to be happening anyway? im not relinquished of anything. he can be as kind and sweet as he wants because he truly is just at his core but he is. way too kind to me when i am so incredibly undeserving.

ive always sort of felt undeserving of everything regarding him but i chose to look past it because i am better. i am a good person i am okay and i can be better and im not condemned to my past but idk. this just reminds me that no i am still selfish and i am still not . really a good person. it really has just kind of brought the attachment style and allll my doubts back into the forefront of my mind ljke it was before. like when we first started dating and i was horrified. didnt believe anything he said really but i worked through it its just like? why am i doubting him now? i was the one who hurt him so why is it making me? falter?

i mean im just asking a rhetorical question because i know. iiii always know. its just that i truly dont believe he means any of it anymore because j huuurt him. the one thing thats always sort of bothered me is when he deemed me perfect, which is such a nice and flattering sentiment but i think it weighed down pn me this feeling that i HAD to be perfect when i knew deep down i had already made such a bad mistake. which is why it was so scary? i knew how he was going to take jt and j tried to just accept it and work through it and j AM. i am i am i am but i keep going back and forth on how i want to deal with this. do i keep acting like im okay and everything is okay and live like that? because it would work and it would probably help him so much more than me focusing on how much i hate myself now but i just feel. horrible if i do do that. but is that me self sabotaging again by truly preferring to condemn myself and let this kill me? like it did last time?

i dont know. again it kind of has just reminded me of last time. but the issue with this compared to how it was with jd is that that issue w jd happened about a year and a half into our relationship and the worst part? it ruined it. it festered there and grew more and more till it killed both me and her because it stuck. ajax and i arent even at 2 months yet and jve already? done? something? that detrimental? its just like. i need to change something. find something. DO something different. because i know what i did with jd last time and jm trying not to repeat a cycle. i’ll be different ill try ill do everything i can because iii cant. as selfish as it is i cant let. this . go. i cant let HIM go either and j feel horrible about it again but i just i dont know

its just so weird because. its all came back. and its so unhelpful. because i KNOW hes still going through it and he doesnt believe me and things r just different but why is it also different for me? i should just be focused on him. doing the most i can to make him feel better and really emphasize that nothing has changed in me especially regarding how much i love him. its just i also keep just feeling. so. so guilty. it comes and goes in waves again. it truly is just the fact that hes right. because if i do love you this much then why would i do that to you? why did i do that? and my only answer is just that i am selfish. because i didnt know how to keep my mouth shut and i made such a personal thing out to be just another thing i could just say because iiiii trust them. but HE doesnt know them. j told her for what? because i needed her to know? she didnt need to know that. even if i was as shocked as i was and still processing it and wanted to talk about it i shouldve kept it to myself and processed it silently. instead i put him last and ignored the matter of fact that this would affect him badly just because iiiiii wanted to talk about it . i was selfish and put myself before him and this always happens when i do so. truly why dont i ever learn? what is wrong with me?? i keep kind of forgetting about it all and then it comes back. then goes then leaves. what sucks is truly that . im so doubtful again. its not that i dont trust him and i dont believe him its just that i hate myself. i hate myself all over again and its making me unable to believe that i deserve any of this AGAIN. that no. hes lying to me. he doesnt mean it hes just saying that? ive hurt him too much . because theres no way he just has no negative feelings toward me when i was the one who did that. and let alone if he IS telling the truth then thats worse because why am i spared? why am i given the benefit of the doubt when he has vocalized that if it was anyone else he wouldve hated them? so why is jt different for me? you SHOULD hate me. thats the problem.