#kind of wanna write a character whos dealing with a lot of personal shit and then its just. oh yeah. and they got telekinesis no biggie!

[specterseen]

new oc kind of incoherent rambling under the cut. many thoughts. may just make their own blog but keep it simple. lmao i must be stopped

ok but like. generic telekinesis oc who is very cool and has swag and works at an arcade + is very techy. her name is blair and her dad is a very scary CEO of a company she doesnt give a shit about and they both live in a penthouse but she hates it but also tries to be grateful for even living a lavish life. she thinks her dad is a dick (bc he is and devotes his life to work and neglects her) (kept her in the divorce battle by being a psychologically abusive asshole with money) and resents him for driving her mother away. she doesn’t resonate with the rich child look so shes often not home aka working at a small arcade for a small paycheck (her dad sometimes mocks her for having such a low paying job and thats its worthless) but also has been sneaking money from her dad who actually doesn’t notice bc metaphorically his pockets are overflowing with money so she’s been hoarding a bit of it here and there so one day she can make a break for it once she feels like she can leave.

except shes finding it hard to so shes kind of in a cycle go to work, stay out all night, maybe smoke a little bit, come home and repeat. sometimes volunteers at soup kitchens and in other ways in the community. anonymous monetary donations. the money she gives is from the money she makes, not from her dad. doesn’t let her efforts of giving back in a way get to her head bc she knows she’ll never be able to stand up to her father and his money. she feels that no matte what she will always be tied to her fathers legacy. almost got a job working on a committee to make more a change in the community but she got scared and backed out.

her telekinesis didnt randomly show itself during a moment of extreme anger or anything, it developed slowly as she grew up. it started as dull vibrations in her hands whenever she felt emotional (happy or sad, doesn’t matter which end) and it made her feel weird. like there was something there to be let go or dispersed but she could never figure out how. as she grew, anytime she was emotional as a young teen, things would move whenever she’d cry or scream. and then when she’s happy things would move like during a big laughing fit with friends for exmaple. this kept on until she was curious enough to actually try and move something. and to her surprise it worked. once she realized she could actually move stuff with her mind, she closed herself off and spent most of her free time during high school honing this ability. no idea where it has come from, she refuses to ask her dad about it and she has no way to contact her mom so shes just left with questions upon questions. left feeling alone.

she graduated high school with full control of her abilities. got a job at an arcade and smokes weed here and there. not much, she doesnt like to fry her brain too often. floats around hot spots around her city which include clubs and other hang out areas. isnt close to anyone so she really is just a floater. if shes feeling mischievous she likes to fuck with people by using her telekinesis and moving shit around. never gets old. 

shes still living at her dads penthouse and is surprised her dad hasnt kicked her out yet since one time during an argument he yelled he’d write her a 100k cheque to leave if she wanted. she only ever goes there to sleep, eat and bathe. not feeling homey enough for her just to hang around. although she does relish on occasion when her dad is gone on long business trips. 

she’s very cool and can be flirty. has made out with people at clubs for a drink or just for fun lol. 

[genericpuff]

Idk if my addition will matter.

I've been following Hanza since back when they were making my deepest secret, so I've seen the development of the guy upstairs first hand and how hanza writes it. Even back in the concept stages, it was so blatantly clear that it was supposed to be a thriller/cat mouse vibe where Adam (killer) was horrible and not to be rooted for. They've compared him to irl serial killers and how those guys will often use women as shields to hide their true selves from the public and how that's messed up and bad to do.

They've shown Adam as a horrible irredeemable person and honestly there's little to no nuance with how they handle it, but that makes sense because how else can you handle an audience like what they've gotten without beating them over the head with the facts. How many ways can you outright show your main character despising and wanting to yank their best friend out of the jaws of a murderer before the audience realizes its not foreplay.

I think them going from an actual romance to a fully thriller non romantic story meant that the residual audience expected some kind of messy toxic romance, but Rozy to me has always explicitly read as Queer so idk why people aren't getting the hint.

I get their frustration and it seems like they might be shifting into a potiential issekai romance about a grandad and a middle aged woman who got reincarnated as his grandson's fiance (hard to explain but its hilarious if you want to check it out) without any thriller elements from their recent non comic posts. Whatever they do I hope they can find something to be passionate about again.

your addition VERY MUCH MATTERS actually because I don't read TGU and have very little context to the situation as a whole aside from what I've seen people talking about, which makes me reluctant to speak on it because I don't wanna go spreading misinformation in any regard. So I appreciate you taking the time to lay it all out for me, thank you!!! <3

And yeah, I've seen posts shared in the /r/webtoons sub from other blogs claiming that Hanza was being an awful person for "taking people's money" and "baiting them" into reading a dark romance story when that's very obviously not what it is? Even one excerpt that was literally like-

And I just... since when is any romance plotline that ISN'T abusive and problematic at its core (such as between a serial killer and a victim) considered "super conservative" and "pure"? It's really baffling to me how people have gone so far in the opposite direction of "purity culture" that they've started arguing on behalf of legitimately harmful and toxic relationships. It's extremely concerning especially when you know the majority of people saying this shit are between the ages of 16-21. IDK what the fuck we're doing anymore when it comes to the romance genre (and TGU isn't even a romance ffs).

Aaaand yeah in relation to where the Hanza topic came up, that's really why I'm moving away from WT as an audience and why I don't consider it a "loss" to not use WT anymore. Once upon a time I wished for Time Gate to be a contracted series, for it to have thousands of readers and be my job. But seeing what's going on with Hanza's work just informs me that I'd be dealing with a lot of the same shit - people expecting Uzuki and Mitsuhiro to be the endgame of the romance when they're literally NOT good for each other, which is the POINT. Like sure, unlike the main duo in TGU, they actually are a couple with a 'relationship' but it's not meant to be healthy and the last thing I need are 15 year olds thinking they're "couple goals". If you ship them in fanfic or w/e the fuck that's fine but please don't get mad at me when they don't wind up being the endgame couple, they're both terrible people and make each other worse when they're around each other (・_・;)

Either way yeah, I don't blame Hanza in the slightest for getting so frustrated with it all that they'd rather just be done with it. It sucks for the more loyal and sane part of their audience that the series is gonna be ripped out from under them like that, but at the end of the day if the creator is being harassed and decide they're done as a result of it... why should they have to keep putting up with bullshit just for a comic? I don't even blame Rachel if she was ending LO by choice due to the noise of the fandom, and unlike Rachel, I don't have anything in the slightest against Hanza or their work LOL But I also don't have the full picture on it all so maybe my opinion will change if I find out more about it. I just don't think any of this shit is worth directly harassing a human being over.

That said, can't get any better than someone who's read their work since before TGU, so again, thank you !

[planetsano]

okay nvm i actually found the post that caused the discourse and that person spilled🤭 i've always felt v disconnected to fics that are explicitly tagged as black reader for that reason. a lot of the times they end up falling into a v specific personality and aesthetic i don't relate to at all. and then they also write the characters a particular way like im sorry i don't wanna read toji using aave that is a japanese man! they do the same w eren too like sister he's german why are u writing him w that type of dialogue 😭 like no shade to each their own but i find it better to follow black writers that don't tag their fics as black reader but make it clear it's a black woman centered acct if that makes sense. they usually only mention things more subtlety like dark nipples/ areolas and curls/coils or protective hairstyles. and black women are used in the mood boards. i prefer that kind of fic where u can tell the author keeps other skin tones in mind and isn't saying shit like "your cheeks turned crimson red".

you’re so big brained. i’m sorry but i will NOT be reading niggaboo eren and toji who just came from the drug deal to slap on your ass and call you “mamas” its not in the cards!

[mapplesand]

i'm gonna yap about Morbid Minds once again because i can but I just wanna talk about the themes and what I talk about in the story because it may be interesting idk

writing actual people and real life shit

what i try to keep in mind when writing the story is that I want to tell a realistic story about a bunch of weird teens and I will absolutly not shy away from every details that may be seen as taboo or too much

because i feel like we've seen a way too polished version of story about teens like come on, nobody is perfect let them be actual loser, let them say stupid shit, learn from it and do better, let's them be absolute weirdo and get smacked for it, god have you seen high school dudes, they're like fucking menace and they say weird shit all the time, why not show that

plus it's funnier to write character who will say and do unhinged things, why do fantasy writers get a pass in writing morally gray characters but suddenly it looks weird when you do it in contemporary fiction (yeah, i know it hit closer to home and you have to be more careful with what you write, but let's make story about weird people in modern days too you know)

putting outcast on the spotlight (and the neurodivergent experience)

and then there's the obvious reason why I called the story "morbid minds", the fact that I chose to write about character like Marco who are troubled teen, the kind that you wouldn't want to meet in real life, the kid teacher don't want to deal with because they think he's a lost cause

basically the abused victim nobody care about because they're not reacting the "appropriate" way for a victim, the kind that is actually violent and gets into fight, and I feel like people with bad coping mechanism and with a "difficult" personality are either not represented or demonized for having these emotions and not knowing how to deal with them, how about we gave those people a story that treat them with humanity for once

Marco isn't your typical main character because he's basically a bitch and a weirdo, there's a reason why people think he's a school shooter lol some of you guys would probably call him that too if you went to school with him (because we're all capable of being bullies in some ways) but I feel like this makes it more interesting to follow, I mean, people want flawed characters right ? so here you go, have a weirdo who likes guns and beating up people, who can't communicate or hate himself so much he thinks he's not worth loving, have that guy who stalks girls before getting hit with being bisexual and not knowing how to process that information while dealing with toxic masculinity, i mean you get the gist

also, my story relies a lot on neurodivergent and queer experience for example Marco has ADHD but the most notable one are Tristan and Tyler who are autistics

and again, even if we're getting more autistic rep (finally) we're still a long way from the variety of autism experience, that's why I chose to gave some space for my weird autistic and their weirdass special interest lol Tristan often forget that he exists and has a special interest on school shooting, the movie Elephant and had a huge horror phase (creepypasta, horror movies, gore) like of course he sounds more sane than Marco but that's mostly because he went through shit and had to be the bigger person in his own life or else everything would have fell apart, but he's very much as strange as Marco, he's the one that stayed with him after all

Tyler got the actual offputting autism, the one that makes you stare at people with a straight face, the one where people are scared of you because you never smile (but it's just your normal face) he's pretty blunt in all the wrong ways, doesn't social properly and never say the right thing at the right time, he has no shame when he's with people he trusts and can often break boundaries if no one tell him exactly what he's not supposed to do

and all those experience matter to me as a writer because they're all under represented in media because there's really not a lot of neurodivergent stories lol (and also it matters to me as i am also a weird autistic guy, i'm not pulling all of this out of nowhere, i share a lot of traits with Tristan and Tyler, hell even if Marco is the opposite of me he still react a lot like a part of myself that would probably be more unhinged if I wasn't just Tristan IRL)

related to the first point, talking about sex but not in a weird way

this may sounds weird as fuck but it's actually really not, i'm aware i'm writing a bunch of high schoolers but that's also the thing, if you've been in school then you cannot tell me you've never heard guys talk about sex, where are you from, another planet ? because i've seen shit in middle school when i was in 8th grade, and god this was a lot (guys in my friends group talking about hentai, i mean you know those things)

so that's why it's related to the first point, writing real life without filter, but what does that mean exactly ? well apart from not censoring problematic shit a 15 yo guy could say (and boy can a 15 say a lot of bullshit), there's also the fucking fact that Marco who is the main character is a porn addict like i can't just put it under the rug, he has problems with masculinity that leads to sexism and then he also watch porn to fill the void because he has depression, that's like, pretty basic experience actually, you don't know how many people fill the void with sex and stuff like that

when i say all this, it's not to be all weird, i'm ace and I think sex is stupid and everyone makes a huge deal about, so I decided hell, i'm gonna talk about it because it's just,,,, a pretty normal thing most people do, it's not a big deal, some people do that, some people don't, who cares, I think we should have less taboo about it just so people can communicate better, that's what i'm trying to do when i talk about sex in the story

it's just an open conversation between the characters, mostly about putting limits, the characters do get frisky here and there but it's never described, what i do is write the dumb shit it may ensure tho, again, because shit happens, you'll get cum on your shirt and here, you go a funny scene about dumb characters and they get a good laugh about it (and it's both a funny scene and a sweet scene in some ways), i mean it's that easy, idk if i'm clear when i'm rambling about my thoughts process there ?? it's just, man people do that and it's not perfect, let's at least talk about it so people feel less embarrassed about it

i'm improvising everything there, sorry if it sounds messy, but i wanna get back to the putting boundaries stuff, because i feel like it's important to show characters that are both talking about it and also being like "hey let's just wait you know" or stuff like that, it's so simple and i don't think we should make a big deal about it, it's just life and i'm putting it in my story, truly that's how i view it, even if the characters suck at communication they can't just do shit without asking and since they're all awkward about it they just need to fucking talk about it even if it's embarrassing and they don't even know what to say

anyway, let's not make a bif deal about sex, it's just sex, it's gonna happen sometimes, teens have sex, it happens, they just need to be able to talk about it or else it will lead to bad decision making and we don't want that in both the real world and in a story

i feel like i'm forgetting a lot here fuck, if I think of anything else i'll probably update it but I think that's already a big chunk of what i think is important about Morbid Minds and why I like writing it so much

[c0rpseductor]

random fic thots. and also fatphobia thots. and sexuality thots. Lots of topics

morningstar is just kind of about a lot of stuff that’s important to me bc it’s lestat appeal fic, and one of the things i’m planning to unpack in it is just a bunch of shit about fatphobia and desirability and eating disorders and so on and so forth

so pfeil has disordered eating habits that mostly revolve around restriction, but is still fat. he’s often on that ‘one meal a day just enough food to kinda shakily maintain basic functioning’ grind. it’s not entirely about his body image, but of course like, he’s aware he’s fat and is self-conscious about it, so it’s still relevant.

obviously this is why we need chubby chaser emet. in this narrative. emet likes fat guys. he specifically finds pfeil’s fatness attractive. it also majorly concerns him that pfeil is like…quietly and almost incidentally starving himself in the way a lot of people with eating disorders do when they’re not actively restricting. And he and pfeil just kind of naturally settle into a fairly low stakes D/s thing.

what i’m saying is i think “Please eat and don’t die” may end up getting tied up in their sexual dynamic, and between that and the general focus i feel like i’ve given to both the Idea Of Fatness and what characters are eating day to day, i’ve been kind of worried that if and when things head there readers are going to be like “what is this weird gross feeder shit all about!! Fatphobic! fetishizing! blocked and reported!”

it’s mostly a dumb concern, i think it’d help if i got some sleep lol, but like, idk. what i really want to write here is a story about a very traumatized guy coming to reclaim the idea of having a body and a sexuality and part of that is necessarily going to have to deal with the fact that he’s fat and does not eat in order to punish himself. and it like. just fucking frustrates me that i feel like if you try to touch on that in a sexual context At All then suddenly everything you do and say is suspect and fetishistic and weird and evil and fatphobic. even if you’re fat. Please make that make sense.

like. idk. food is such an important part of daily life bc without it you fucking die. eating together is a very basic human social activity. im very of the dungeon meshi mindset with this. food is a major arbiter of daily rhythms and social bonds and the way characters interact with it says a lot about them and their relationships to themselves and others and denying oneself pleasure related to eating is like. psychologically bad for you. sharing food with other people is a gesture of intimacy and affection and care. you don’t break bread with bitches you hate. Do you see where i’m going with this.

i’ve thought about just not including that dynamic bc of the way people view fat people having basically Any sexuality that acknowledges being fat as Weird Predatory Degen Fetish Shit unless you’re self-flagellating about your weight, but like. I don’t think i want to do that actually. i think maybe i am saying something important about inhabiting one’s own body and also about loving a person who is very ill.

idk. i feel silly making a long defensive post about stuff i haven’t even written yet. i think it’s more kind of like, i just wanna be able to kind of sift through my thoughts, and i wanna be able to express frustration about The Whole Thing. i think it’s kind of fucked up that i don’t feel at all nervous talking about wanting hot guys to put cigarettes out on me or hit me in the face or whatever bc that’s typical kink but the minute im like “i am fat and recovering from atypical anorexia and i would like a hot guy to think it’s hot that i’m fat and encourage me to eat because he thinks that’s hot and not care if i gained weight recovering” it’s the scariest thing in the world bc there is a significant number of people out there that think this is inherently dehumanizing of fat people. and will be offended. or just disgusted. im not even into weight gain i literally just want to be encouraged not to starve myself But Sexy. idk bro it’s fucking nuts that people take issue with this

[paperstarwriters]

ive come kneeling at your doorstep to beg for that essay on murio and luciels parallels you mentioned 👀💦👉👈

i love loathing lucio so much so it would deal my lil hater ass so much psychic damage and i cannot wait to get rekt

(onlyifyouwanttothoofcoursetakeyourtime)(just making sure youre aware id print that shit n frame it above my bed were it to come to existence)

Hello @tetsuooooooooooo! I know you said I can take my time, ok I'm still really really sorry this took awhile, I've been kinda burnt out from classes lately, and writing a bunch of essays for that lol, but I've managed to make a somewhat coherent argument for my case here lol.

Now, to preface this:

I only really like Lucio as a character to thematically dissect and kick around occasionally for giggles. I am a far, far cry from a Lucio stan, I just find him interesting—like a bug. Honestly I don't think I'm gonna convince you he's in any way a good guy I just might make you loathe him more 😅

I haven't played Lucio's route. I'm too busy and I get too annoyed with some of his antics + the options of reactions that MC is allowed to make. I've only played the side stories and a lot of my understanding of his character is built from Muriel's route (and I know he's much more different in his own route than he is in the others') as well as hearsay from other people talking about Lucio

I know I said that I'd include Aurora's songs in my original statement but that got wayyyyyyy too messy so I'm just opting to exclude them lol. (not to mention youtube is doing a very irritatingly strange thing of deleting and then reuploading Aurora's songs??? so I don't wanna deal with the messy files :/)

With that out of the way here is my essay :)

Wordcount: 2,908

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Muriel and Lucio are both very, very caught up in how they are seen by others. While it's clearer when it comes to Lucio, it is also made clear in Muriel by the fact that Social anxiety is often caused by stress over how a person is perceived and their mental belief that they are helpless to change that perception. This causes of their self perception are also quite similar, due to their similar histories, but in the same way that there are some notable opposites between them with their struggle for their identity there is also some notable differences in their histories that arguably causes the slight difference in their struggle for their self image.

To begin with their history, Muriel and Lucio are noted to both come from the South. They come from two opposing tribes, and are both eventually chased out of their home and community by 1) a cruel person who arguably causes their struggle of identity and 2) the plague. Of course, the major difference here is that Lucio actively made decisions that would lead to him being chased out of his tribe, he was arguably aware that if it failed he'd have to leave, he just hadn't considered that it would actually fail.

Muriel on the other hand is chased out of his home at a much younger age, and he has no choice in his eviction from his home or his family. There is no action that Muriel could have done that would have allowed him to stay where he was, unlike Lucio who had a clear option that would have allowed him to stay.

Or at least would have allowed him to stay until he grew tired of his mother's attitude towards him.

I don't believe that Morga's cruel and dismissive attitude towards Lucio started when he tried to kill her, rather, I believe that she has been doing that for a long, long time. She often states that she had been "too soft" on Lucio, but I think her "softness" is the same kind we see in Muriel's route. She berates him, she threatens him, she tells him how awful and unskilled he is to everyone else and makes a show of his failures, but when she is completely and fully enraged and is about to hit Lucio, she hesitates.

Is that softness? To her perhaps. To the tribe, perhaps. But not to me, and not to Lucio.

So, despite all of the harsh words thrown his way, he decides to take action to prove her wrong. I'm willing to bet that a lot of Morga's criticisms were about how strong he was and how he was in fact not actually as strong as he could have been, not as strong as he should have been. That's why when he takes action to prove Morga wrong, he immediately snaps to killing her. There is, after all, no better way than showing your power than killing your opponent (we see this belief in Morga when she spars against Muriel and he beats her.) Of course, in hand-to-hand combat, and on fair terms, Lucio can't actually defeat his mother, so he takes to more under-handed methods in order to beat her.

When this fails, it is the first major wound on his self-image. He cannot defeat his mother. He is not strong enough to defeat his mother despite cheating.

So, he runs away.

Besides marking a wound on his self-image, this also marks Lucio's connection to others. Having been exiled from his tribe, he is disconnected from the friends who may have actually supported him somewhat, he is robbed of his connections and separated from anyone who may have actually loved and cared for him (platonically and/or romantically)

Similarly, Muriel's separation from his own family, and his eventual abandonment into the streets of Vesuvia separates him from any stable sense of love and affection as well. Because he was separated from loving parents as a child and was likely surrounded by a number of children who were abandoned because they were unwanted, or because their parents were unable to care for them, Muriel has no other answer than what the other kids give him it is the only answer he has. Further more I believe that Muriel was probably abandoned by that merchant because they were unable to keep feeding him, which he also attaches onto his real parents as to why he was abandoned in the first place.

And so Muriel believes himself to be unloved and unlovable after being separated from family, or any semblance of a family.

Returning to Lucio, he moves on from his tribe and eventually joins a military group(? I think? Idk. I'm sure there was a specific name for it but I can't remember sorry) Once again, this is an act of trying to prove to his mother and to his community that they were wrong, and when compared to the ordinary person outside of their tribe, he's actually a really good and capable fighter. Of course, however, this is inevitably cut short as he looses his arm, and is once again confronted with the fact that he is unskilled as a warrior and so he retreats from his perceived deficiency and takes a different route to getting the love and admiration he wants—politics.

Of course, as we see in Muriel and Asra's childhood tale, this inevitably puts him into direct conflict as, in order to climb the social ladder he offers to "clean up" the streets. While it's largely left up to interpretation as to whether or not the Threat of Asra's safety came first or Muriel's position as a gladiator came first, I can't help but believe that Muriel's position as a gladiator came first, as otherwise, he might've gone out and tried to check on Asra's safety. (though this is mostly a headcannon) I believe that Lucio offered Muriel a chance to have some say in who gets "cleaned up" from the streets, and for Muriel to be able to get rid of the "actually bad criminals". Regardless of whether or not this is true, the arena gives Muriel his first taste of admiration, as people cheer for and adore him, but it also tears that sense of admiration away as he eventually has to come to terms with what he is doing. Whether that sense of dread and awareness was always there or it occurred somewhere in the middle is also unknown but the outcome is the same regardless. Being known and being admired becomes tied to hurting and harming people—because it is the only trait he sees that other people admire, he sees it as his only lovable trait.

And so Lucio and Muriel begin to reflect each other—and I don't mean reflect as in they show the same image, I mean reflect as in we see a similar image, but the image is reversed (*wink wink nudge nudge*). Here Muriel sees himself as only capable of being loved for his ability to commit violence, and Lucio sees himself as being incapable of being loved because he cannot complete the amount of violence he needs to commit.

Now, I feel the need to emphasize here, despite having many people around him who Lucio may truly believe love and admire him, the people around him very likely don't actually care for him very much because they either do not know him well, or they see him as little more than a pawn in a plan, or at least someone who gives them benefits. And even if there are a number of people with genuine admiration for Lucio, it still wouldn't be enough. Admiration is never enough when you lack genuine emotional connections with others, and Lucio, clearly does.

Again, this parallels Muriel who also struggles with a lack of genuine emotional connections to others. Although he has Asra with him, it's clear that, Asra's tendency to be fickle with connections has extended to him as well, especially when Asra spends more time with MC than him, leaving Muriel feeling abandoned and alone. Considering that Asra is the only person we ever really see Muriel connect or talk to, it's no stretch to say that Asra is one of Muriel's only friends, if not their only friend period, and so with Asra disappearing on him as often as they do, Muriel is left feeling that he actually has no connections at all.

Of course once again reflecting each other, where Muriel clearly sees he lacks connections and pretends he does not, Lucio, makes unsteady transactional rather than emotional relationships and pretends that that is enough.

It is of course, not enough, because if it were, he wouldn't have treated Muriel like that, he likely wouldn't have plucked Muriel out at all. Although this is largely speculation, I believe that Lucio treated Muriel the way he did because he feels as if Muriel is the very child Morga would have wanted. He is big and strong, and although not technically skilled if Muriel were raised by Morga like Lucio was, he might've been. This is why his first reaction to seeing Muriel and Morga working together is that Muriel is Morga's replacement son. It's because that's how Lucio had been treating him. Muriel is Lucio's little avatar to live out the glory of being a fantastically skilled fighter who can beat up all of his opponents. This is also, why I believe that Lucio purposefully trained Muriel to be less skilled in fighting than he was. In Muriel's route, Lucio comments that he's always been able to beat Muriel, and while I do in fact believe that Lucio is actually a skilled fighter, despite how he is often presented and despite my arguments above—he's most often a skilled fighter in the technical sense. He knows all the movements, he knows all the strategies, he knows all the underhanded tricks. By not fighting Muriel too often, and refusing to teach him these tricks however much it may be able to help Muriel out in the arena, it allows Lucio to be able to defeat him whenever he wants to. It allows Lucio to make it seem to himself that he is better than the person his mother would have wanted as a son, which I believe to be both horrible but also sad, for both Lucio and Muriel.

With Lucio, it shows how desperate and inferior he feels with his fighting skills, constantly trying to compensate for it something we can also see that in the portrait of himself he has in his room.

For Muriel, it keeps him scared, and keeps him pinned in place despite having realized the consequences of his fighting. Something which only furthers his self-hatred when he realizes he actually could have easily left.

So yes, Muriel and Lucio are both very self conscious people, and while for Muriel his self consciousness stems from people seeing him as a monster, and him believing that he is one although he does not want to be one, Lucio is self-conscious in the fact that he is not seen as the brutal fighting warrior he was supposed to be.

These reflected aspects of each other, alongside of their self consciousness is the very thing they struggle through in their routes, the very thing that MC helps them to get through.

Lucio believes that through various paintings of himself that rearranges his past (paintings of himself as a triumphant fighter, while his mother is demure and elegant), various unfair/practically staged fights, and celebrations of himself on top of it all, he would be able to convince people that he is awesome and amazing and that he deserves to be loved. In doing all of this however, Lucio runs away from confronting the beliefs at his core and wondering if perhaps, what he understood as traits that make a person great may be incorrect—that his mother had not just been incorrect on the fact that he was a failure, but on the fact of what makes a person successful or powerful. By constantly covering up what he sees as deficits, Lucio skims over his own internal struggles entirely which makes him look foolish and annoying as he ignores what's so clearly there for others.

Meanwhile, for Muriel, he is aware of his deficits, and is unable to properly hide them without disappearing completely himself, he tries to figure out and fix all of his problems through introspection and isolation, but it is not something he can do on his own. Muriel of course, can't accept the fact that he may need help. He can't accept the fact that despite what he believes of himself, other people may actually care for him the same way he cares for them, and will actually offer help. And so, as he runs away from people and community, from friends, and possible friends alike, Muriel runs away from his own problems as well, even if he tortures himself with confronting them (I can't remember if he actually does this or if this is a fanfic trope 😅) Essentially, by constantly trying to deal with his struggles on his own, he neglects his connections to others who may help him, or at least offer support.

And then MC comes along, and because they both desperately needed that deep connection to someone else, regardless of whether it is something platonic or romantic. MC is able to leverage their relationship in order to further propel Muriel and Lucio's development into acknowledging the thing they refuse to acknowledge, and finally balance out their coping mechanisms, which, on their own isn't actually unhealthy (Lucio's really good at connecting with others; Muriel knows how to confront his inner turmoil) using that single method as their crutch for their traumas only ever hurts them more.

As Muriel progresses through his route, he grows more connected with his community and people. One meaningful moment that I don't think they give enough screen time in the game is the moment that Muriel is forced to confront people recognizing and seeing him again. He's forced to confront everyone's perception of him, their memory of him and he retreats into the mirror maze where he stares at all these reflections of himself, all reversed images of himself, but he believes them all to accurately represent himself—as if his superficial physical image is what represents himself mentally and emotionally. And then MC (and Morga 🙄) come through to him and pull him out of that panic attack (or interrupt and yank him away from properly addressing the problem in Morga's case 😤) And that's the first step to being loved. As they say, in order to let yourself be loved you have to let yourself be known, and in that first step, choosing to step forward and prioritize the lives of others over his own self image, Muriel begins to be admired by others. Genuinely admired, for traits that he likes in himself rather than traits that he hates.

Similarly for Lucio, (although I haven't played his route so this is largely based on hearsay) he's faced with problems that he Has to face on his own (or at least somewhat on his own) the main one being that he has to confront the consequences of his own actions, he has to acknowledge to himself that he isn't perfect and that he can't be perfect. It's why at the end of his route on the upright ending, he leaves Vesuvia, to take on a life of (semi)solitude to further take some time to improve his ability at introspection, while in the Reversed ending he's still talking with people, still trying to manipulate their perceptions of him (and the MC), and still trying to be a "good boy" (ie. perfect) for the MC.

Now, it may be argued that Julian can/should be included in this struggle of how others perceive him but I raise you this; that guy is the most dramatic ass dude in town and his biggest dramatic act was telling everyone about how horrible he is. He clearly has no issues with how other people see him, but he has problems with how he sees himself, which again, reflects Muriel a bit, but I'm sure most people are familiar with their (more blatant) similarities by now lol

So yea.

Muriel and Lucio are reflections of each other. At their core, they both struggle with the same problem of caring way too much about how they're seen by others, but they cope with (and thus worsen) the problem in opposite ways, so when they take steps to heal themself, they also go in opposite directions, with Lucio needing to take some time to himself to get into his own head, while Muriel needs some time away from himself to get out of his own head.

Essentially they're heading in opposite directions to reach the same conclusion: other people's opinions don't matter as much as your own opinion of yourself and the opinions of the people close to you.

Interesting parallels, no?

Of course, I believe this could've been better illustrated if Nyx Hydra didn't rush the last three routes, but alas, this is what fan fiction and fan-analysis is for lol

Anyways I don't tend to poke around the Lucio side of the fandom too much to begin with so if this has all been said and argued before forgive me for the repetition, and If I've gotten some points wrong, please feel free to correct me! I've mentioned before I haven't really played through Lucio's route so some things may be wrong.

[ayyyez]

Could I request who you think would be the best and worst at flirting?? Like scale of Casanova/a Natural to mumbling fool in front of their crush for the haikyuu boys? It could be anyone from the teams, though I'd also love to hear your thoughts on the miya twins lol

a/n: Oh gosh okay this is going to be interesting. In general, I love the twins! They’re absolute menaces and I love putting them in shenanigans together. Osamu is an absolute darling and one of my favourite characters. Atsumu is a menace to society and his hair pre time skips looks like burnt cheesecake lmao. But I still love the loser (affectionate) especially making fun of him. I have a Haikyuu OC that also does that lmao. She has an au paired with Osamu too. 

Okay I picked a few characters and rated them and how they flirt! I hope you enjoy. It’s nice to write some Haikyuu!!

@loveskitkats There’s a burnt cheescake under the cut for you ily <3

Headcanon Characters: Rintarou Suna, Osamu Miya, Atsumu Miya, Tetsurou Kuroo, Tobio Kageyama

Rated Characters at the end below the cut

Tags: Headcanons, Flirting, Flirting with their crush, teasing, banter, fluff, undercut because long post

Rintarou Suna (Natural with fun teasing banter):

He’s not the kind of person to flirt with everyone but when he has someone he likes he’s a little shit tease. You can give it back to him though he can take it. 

Very much a friends to lovers type of guy so in the crush stages theres a lot of back and forth flirting going on. He gives compliments pretty freely. Sometimes they’re just nice genuine ones. ‘Huh I like that shirt.’ or ‘Looks good.’ but most of the time they have that teasing tone. ‘Aw did you dress up just for me?’ It’s got that half joking, half curious vibe behind it. 

A lot of his flirting comes across through how much he talks to you in general. He will not waste his time or bother with people he doesn’t have interest in. He’s the kind of person to get to know someone before relationship so he’ll feel you out. 

Sending messages. Likes sending pictures. Not necessary flirty pictures (although will send just selfies sometimes and you flirt back and forth telling each other you look hot) but just general day to day pictures in order to connect. Sends those ‘Damn wish I was there with you.’ messages. 

Physical messing around like pretending to annoy you. Messing with your hair. Poking your cheek. Nuzzling his face against your shoulder. He’s a physically affectionate person and likes pushing the boundaries on friendship while crushing. 

Seeks out physical touch and takes comfort in it. If he’s comfortable enough to sleep on your shoulder and let you make fun of him then you’re in. 

Osamu Miya (Natural but Shy):

The kind of guy who moves at a steady pace with the subtle kind of flirt. The flirts that come out of no where and knock you out. It’ll be a normal conversation then ‘Oh is that new? huh, it’s nice.’ Soft smile and immeditately moves on in conversation. Like? did that just happen?

It’s also that he has his own brand of flirting where you have to know him to know he’s flirting. Ditching his brother to hang out with you? BIG deal. Sharing his food with you? BIG deal. Even making food for you.

It’ll seem like a friends thing with him too but that’s how he operates. He’s a stealthy friends to lovers guy. He’ll come in one day and be like ‘Oh, I made these did ya want to try?’ or ‘Here I made this for ya.’ Then when you’re done it’s. ‘Tell me what ya think. I wanna know ya opinion.’ LIKE BOY. The sweetest.

Learns your favourite drinks and snacks and will keep them on hand and just give them to you like gifts. ‘Gotcha something.’ Acts like it’s nothing too but wears that soft little smile.

Teasing is kind of his flirting too. That’s how he gets along with people by default but it’s teasing banter. If you come hang out with him or visit him a lot it’s all ‘Can’t get enough of me, huh?’ Osamu please.

If you give any of this back by the way he’ll love it because it’s his love language and he’ll give you that oh so sweet Osamu smile with a hint of a blush. He can give it but gets all shy getting it. He just doesn’t expect it? Sometimes he just gets so bold he forgets reciprocation exists and shuts down.

Atsumu Miya (Not a natural but has some charm): 

I see him being somewhere in the middle. Like he can be super obnoxious to his fangirls, that’s canon, he does not give a shit about being all smooth and hot. 

But he also has natural charisma and charm. However around his crush? A goddamn mess. 

The wrong brash thing always comes out of his mouth. You always catch him when he’s fighting with his brother being a hot, loud mess. You see him being all dramatic when he flubs his serve. 

See him being a weeping crybaby mess when his gran sends him a  message that he’s a good boy. It’s actually endearing but he doesn’t know that. He’s just embarassed.

Then when he tries to talk to you it’s all bright blushes and loud unclear sentences at first. What? Takes a sec to cool down. 

Okay now you can understand him he tries the smooth stuff. ‘Hey did ya catch my game yesterday?’ Then Osamu comes in with the ‘Ha the game ya flubbed ya serve so bad you fell flat on ya face?’ cue their arguement. 

Will definitely always approach you though no matter how much he embarasses himself. If there’s one thing about Atsumu, he is persistent. The only thing that will stop him is your disinterest. Your interest and laugh (even if it’s at his expense) spurs him on. All the embarassment is worth it.

His flirting is also just asking questions. Always asking questions about you. Wants to know EVERYTHING about you. He never shuts up so the words just keep coming and coming he’s basically gushing over you wanting to talk to you so bad. (Tell him his hair is cool if you think he needs a breather he’ll shut down for a moment)

Tetsurou Kuroo (Thinks he’s a natural but becomes a mess)

In this mans head before he puts the flirting into practice he’s the smoothest motherfucker alive. He’s so cool. The coolest person you’ve ever seen and he is going to wow his crush. He’s going to wow you. 

The second he sees you though his head is empty, his cheeks are burning and his mouth betrays him. He’s a hot mess. Goes to say good morning to you and ask how you are but he fumbles so hard over his words. It’s the funniest, sweetest thing too.

After the least smooth recovery of laughing himself off he’ll just stick with an ‘Um, hi.’ and go from there. If you laugh he figures at least he got a positive reaction and that was totally the plan. HE’s IN.

Every time he sees you doesn’t know what to talk about? His mind literally goes blank. Kind of just blurts words out? like ‘COFFEE!’ or ‘VOLLEYBALL!’ or ‘CLASS!’ without thinking and it’s up to you to nod your head and piece it together. Please be patient with him.

Like one time you deduced he wanted to get coffee. The other time he wanted to talk to you about volleyball. The other time was something about class. Once you get him talking he kind of relaxes and his mind fills with words again. 

Once his words come back to him he tries flirting but this dork still doesn’t have the smoothest game. It’s all fun facts and smart ass remarks filled with banter which is still fun though. 

His idea of flirting is ‘Hey did you know *insert random fact*’. If you counter his fact with a fact of your own he’ll say something like ‘Wow, I should treat you to a drink for teaching me something I didn’t know.’ and that’s the closest to smooth he gets. 

The kind of guy who would say ‘Why thank you I grew it myself!’ if you compliment his hair. That’s how ‘smooth’ he is lmao. I love this dork. 

Tobio Kageyama (Doesn’t know how to flirt but still pulls off sweet things)

My sweet sweet Kageyama tries his best but his head is just full of volleyball okay flirting is not on the agenda! Neither are crushes he just kind of feels very deeply for you kind of like you’re his favourite person. 

So because you’re his favourite person he wants to share his favourite things with you. Volleyball being one of them. Talks about it a lot! But not just that he wants to know if you have a thing you’re passionate about. (God if it’s volleyball too he just will talk to you about it for hours.) 

Will buy two things where he used to buy one because he wants you to have one. It’s him wanting to share his likes again. His milk drinks, yoghurt drinks? Two now. Will always offer one your way. Kind of blushy about it. It’s endearing. Again he doesn’t see it as a crush really unless it’s pointed out to him. 

Invites you to games and to watch him play in general. He wants you to love volleyball as much as he does. It’s everything to him. He’ll spend time with you outside of that setting as a compromise if necessary. 

Kageyama’s version of flirting is looking up to see you in the stands before a game and giving a subtle nod with a small smile. It’s meeting up with you afterwards and thanking you for your support. It’s being happy that you were there. It’s discussing all the things that went right and went wrong because he feels comfortable to do so. 

It’s Kageyama saying that he likes hanging out with you but he probably won’t be the one to bring it up first. It’s him figuring out he has crush only when you or someone else points it out to him. It’s all the things he does because you’re his favourite person without realising it. 

Timeskip Kageyama though, after taking all these years to realise what it all means might become a little bolder and more intent with his actions. And there will be a day he’ll confess he realises why you’re his favourite person. 

Honorable Mentions:

Natural Flirt (Smooth talkers with no shame): Koshi Sugawara, Yuji Terushima, Morisuke Yaku, Kotarou Bokuto

Flirts (Bold/Teasing/Banter): Satori Tendou, Akira Kunimi, Kei Tsukishima, Tooru Oikawa

Awkward Flirts (Blush/Voice Volume Control in either direction): Ryunosuke Tanaka, Eita Semi, Kenma Kozume, Kourai Hoshiumi, Chikara Ennoshita

Awkward Flirts (Freezes/Fumbles over words/Blush): Tadashi Yamaguchi, Hitoka Yachi, Yutaro Kindaichi

Doesn’t know how to flirt still succeeds accidentally: Kanji Koganegawa, Keiji Akaashi

Doesn’t know how to flirt and it shows: Wakatoshi Ushijima, Takanobu Aone (he tries though okay)

[nicole-from-co09]

I'm sorry. I was being a weirdo like a week ago. Honestly, I miss you. I really do. You're someone who did hurt me, but you're so much more than that. You're smart, you're witty, you're charismatic, you're confident, and you aren't afraid of anything.

Sometimes, you're even kind, and that's the best. I feel like I should get your boundaries and know that it isn't gonna happen. I don't think you really want a partner, not really. I think you want a friend who you can sleep with if you want. That's not a bad thing! A lot of people want that, and that's okay. I shouldn't have tried it with you.

It's just that you're not the dangerous, edgy self-destructive force that I kinda fetishized you as, and I shouldn't've insulted and degraded you by putting you into that box. I know it's been hard for you. I know you've dealt with a lot of real fucked-up shit.

I shouldn't have been part of that. I think I just need to find someone else, and I think maybe you should go somewhere where people treat you with the respect you deserve when you graduate. I don't know if that's UCLA or UConn or LSU or friggin' Rome.

I'm not mad that you hurt me. How were you supposed to avoid hurting me? When someone's been wronged like you've been, it's hard for that person to not wrong others here and there. That's not because that person's evil, but because they view how other people have mistreated them and assume that's normal.

I'm also really, deeply sorry for my role in our bad relationship. I hurt you too. I didn't fuck with you the way you messed with me, but I may as well have chained you up and forced you to play a role that wasn't you and that you never wanted.

Remember how I said that girls made me wanna kill myself? I thought I just meant it like I felt so wronged and unsafe that I had to date guys, and I meant it like that, but honestly I don't think it's true anymore. I thought girls made me want to, because you made me want to, but that wasn't it. After you, I finally had the first moments of love in my life and I lost them. Every girl I look at seems so much better than me, so much more moral and pretty and strong. How does a possessive, manipulative dick like me compare to girls like you, Emily, Jecka, Karen, and Kelly? I wish I could be like you. I wish I could have been hot and shit, and powerful and likable and normal and funny and witty and smart and strong as hell. You've survived so much.

What am I?

I guess I'm somene who needs to get better.

I'm sorry that the world doesn't understand that you're a diamond, and I feel like I should never have been one of your many goddamn abusers.

Nicole, you can respond to this with a hot girl "nah, I don't care, I'm cool" thing. In fact, I kinda expect you to, and it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. I guess then you'd be the cool chick dismissing the emo gay girl, right? You could make a cutting joke or something, and it'd be funny.

That's a good lesson, and one I think you taught me: Honesty gets you screwed over. Nobody really likes being honest. They just don't want to feel like they're being lied to.

If you ever write a book, I'll read it. Like I said, you're smart.

Keep on shining like a beacon of willpower in this shitty fucking universe.

I'm sorry I was one of the people who gave you problems,

Ari

see, this is exactly what i was talking about - who the FUCK wants to listen to all of this? ten million words of "blah blah blah i'm so sorry you're so hot" like you're a fucking virgin or something, which i know you're not

ari, if you're reading this, i didn't read a single word of your three hundred page letter. if your stupid fucking essay lasts longer than you do in bed, that's like a serious character issue called "being a boring fucking bitch" - and maybe you should deal with that before ever speaking to me again, thanks

fuck, i'm way too high to be dealing with this shit

[otogariado]

barbie movie was kinda bad to be honest.

if you're super attached and sentimental abt this movie you might not wanna read this bc i don't really pull punches with this one. but here is my first impressions rant lmao. i might come back to it when i've collected my thoughts more and let it stew a little (and maybe see it a second time just by myself at home?)

the way the movie ended was really bad and it left a sour taste in my mouth (📌), but even from just earlier in the movie i already felt like smth was off. and i mean, it's not like i wasn't excited for it even if i tried to avoid a lot of the stuff to not overhype myself (and i usually like going in blind anyway). but even as the movie started i already got the feeling of, oh this is what kind of movie it's gonna be. and for the most part it proves that initial assumption right.

and by "this" i meant like.. a really shallow preachy "feminist" tone. y'know, those kinds of movies/shows that pretend like they're going to say something meaningful about a mature topic but they end up just being shallow and mostly filled with platitudes and such. it's just kinda weird cz i expected more. but it felt like the movie was just using every character as a direct mouthpiece to the audience, and it could still work i guess if they actually had something to say. i think the movie was kind of a mess. i don't know what kind of lesson i was supposed to take away from it at the end, especially when they just start word vomiting at you. at some parts of the movie i wanted to turn my brain off but i still paid attention in case it was gonna pick itself up but like, it really didn't.

i think the rest of the movie was ok. the cinematography was enjoyable still, but the writing was just. so shallow that i couldn't bring myself to fully say i had a blast watching it. it felt like it was more interested in going through a checklist/outline of feminist things to say without being interested in elaborating any of it. it felt like they had too much they wanted to talk about that it just felt scattershot; i feel like it would've had stronger writing if they had just picked a topic to focus on and spent more time with it. they had the chance to explore something more—heck, they had this pretty diverse cast, why exactly did it still need to be focused on "stereotypical barbie" if they really wanted to explore something else? plenty of movies have been successful with an ensemble cast... it wouldn't fix their issue of splitting themselves amongst multiple things they wanted to talk about, but it could help with the focus. maybe have one barbie deal with one topic or throughline then another barbie with another topic, etc. idk. i also found it weird to make a snarky comment about how "if the movie wanted to make a point about barbie not needing to be [conventionally pretty] then they shouldn't have cast margot robbie for this" and like?? you're right lmao. you don't get to be cheeky by saying "guess we were wrong about this one :9 shrug". if they weren't interested in addressing this issue then they shouldn't have just called attention to it in the first place. it just makes it worse. feels like saying "ha! you can't criticize us for this decision because we already did it first."

i also have a problem with the thing near the end of "how about normal barbie? barbie doesn't need to be extraordinary! why can't she just be a regular person?" umm. the point of barbie wasn't to make women feel like they should be extraordinary to be accepted?? the point of barbie is that anyone can BE barbie. you ARE barbie no matter what kind of path you choose. it's kinda like spider-man in a sense that, "anyone can be under the mask." ANYONE can be barbie. i feel like the movie made a strawman out of misconstruing the original intent behind the "empowerment" of barbie. the point of multiple versions of barbie and the different playsets and shit comes from the appeal that she can be ANYTHING you want her to be. who are you fighting against, movie?? that type of misogyny where women should excel otherwise they don't matter certainly exist in the real world but like, i feel like it's a bit disingenuous to pretend it's what the barbie franchise wanted to convey as well. (i am by no means a barbie toyline history expert so i'm open to be corrected on this.)

and the whole... storyline with ken/the kens?? like i get what they're trying to do, have "the boys get a taste of their own medicine", but it's just. It's Just Weird. what did they wanna accomplish with it? i feel like this movie suffers from a shallow understanding of how sexism and misogyny and toxic masculinity actually works... like "oh teehee what if men were the ones oppressed by women instead and women were the ones oppressing men?" but they didn't do anything interesting with it, they just switched sexes and that's it. it's still the same except you just switched the men and women label now. (and the movie has a very black and white view of sex and gender. but that's another point to discuss entirely.)

what makes it worse is that the kens rise to power because they craved more appreciation from the barbies, but then they get knocked down a peg by the barbies and they "lose" like they "deserve". like, what is THIS meant to convey if we try to use it as a parallel for real world feminism, if kens = RL women and barbies = RL men?? that women shouldn't demand to be seen and appreciated more by men and that if they try to take on equal footing and power they should get pushed back down the hierarchy or something??? like WHAT??? and even if you could argue that the kens lost because of their egos/pride/toxic masculinity, it still feels off. because yes, there is a certain "masculine brand" of being too prideful but like. anyone is susceptible to getting too egotistical for their own good. idk??? the way they just handle it is so messy. it's not even like, ambiguous in the "open for interpretation, there are multiple readings of this possible that all try to say something different" kinda way. it's ambiguous in the messy, "we don't know what we wanna say" kind of way.

another thing i wanna talk abt is the teenager character. and the mom character too. i feel like they could've done more with them tbh. they hardly feel like actual characters—the mom got more than her daughter, but the daughter is so stereotypically rebellious "i hate feminine stuff" teenager. so much of this movie feels like telling instead of showing. the mom feels undervalued and depressed and she's struggling. yeah, but so what? we don't actually SEE any of that. even if you can argue that the movie tries to tackle stiff happening IRL so it doesn't need to show any of that any more, that's just bull. you still have to establish the setting in your movie's universe and you still have to do actual character work for your characters even if they're meant to represent real people. ESPECIALLY if they're meant to represent real people. like yeah, we do get some flashbacks of her daughter not appreciating her near the start, but that's it. they're just flashes. and that wasn't her only problem that she mentioned. why didn't we have the mom try to pitch ideas to the executives early on, have that be her introduction scene? have the executives belittle her ideas bc they're misogynistic chauvinist asses? like yeah, from context clues of the whole boardroom being men we can see the irony there and we can tell they don't value women enough to give them positions that high up the ladder. but still, implying the lack of something is not as good as actually demonstrating the lack of something. i feel like it wouldn't have been that hard to include at least one scene of the mom pitching her ideas, and then cut to her scribbling sadly on the desk like she was when she was introduced cz they didn't listen to her.

the sentiment of "they hardly feel like actual characters" extends to the rest of the cast, too. like, i wouldn't expect something substantial and be disappointed if they weren't marketing themselves like "all barbies are important :) this is an ensemble movie :)" like no... not really. none of the other characters matter that much and they didn't get a lot of actual distinguishing features aside from their actual job titles. which just feels reductive lmao. maybe that's the point. maybe they're all just meant to be bit characters. but it just adds to the shallowness of the movie i feel like. just bc the point is they're bit characters doesn't give it a free pass for not going anywhere w any of them. i saw someone say they felt like all the other barbies and kens were mostly just there as set dressing and you know what? that's undeniably true. which AGAIN i maybe wouldn't have as much of a problem with if it weren't for how they marketed this movie.

the previous paragraph also ties into what i mentioned earlier abt the quip they had abt casting margot robbie (and by extension, ryan gosling) as the lead(s). like... why did the lead HAVE to be the "stereotypical barbie"? why did the white, blonde, presumably cishet* barbie (and ken) HAVE to be the leads? hell, the mom and daughter characters are women of color and they don't even do anything with them (aside from some jokes abt how the white dad sucks and is very inconsequential?). i'm just saying... it feels like the diversity casting (not just when it comes to being people of color but also in other areas, like having a barbie in a wheelchair and a pregnant "barbie" (even though she's not barbie) and whatnot) of the other barbies and kens was just that. Token Diversity. fodder for The Typical White Leads. idk. i'll say this again but if they didn't advertise themselves the way they did with all those barbie and ken posters making it sound like they were actually gonna give a shit about any of the other colorful cast of characters then maybe i wouldn't be this harsh with them. this didn't feel like an ensemble movie to me at all.

*(bc i don't think this movie was made with any genuine queer intentions behind it lmao. and ik people latch onto the aroace "coding" of the characters and like. if you're aroace and you like it then power to you. but i think this is more of a "technicality"/"by semantics" type of """coding""" so i honestly don't think it counts, speaking as someone who's some flavour of aroace)

idk i feel like I'M word vomiting now too. maybe i'm picking on this movie too much. but tbh it's just. eh. it just feels shallow. it's a shallow nothing movie tbh. it just feels like a movie filled with quips without any interest in exploring any of the topics they bring up. i wanna list specific examples but tbh it's hard to remember them because of just how overloaded it is, like they just keep shooting talking points at you but there's no meat to any of them. i wouldn't be this harsh on this movie if it didn't hype itself up so much. like, i WANTED to like it coming it. i WAS excited for it ever since it was announced, even though i wasn't a super fan and wasn't buzzing about it as much as most people were online. because it had a lot of potential behind it, but it ended up just. being a mess.

📌 i think it's funny that the ending (as in the last scene of the movie) left most people confused, but the most interesting thing abt it is the takeaway i got from my cis mlm cousin where he's like, "oh barbie chose to be a mother at the end and she's pregnant and that's why she ended up at the gynecologist". like. I Guess??? that can be your take??? but it's a weird scene to end your movie on.

like idk what i'm supposed to feel about it. she's a real human now because she has genitalia?? the genitalia was the last crowning step for her to achieve the "human" status? that's kind of reductive. she's a real woman now because she has a vagina?? that's just straight up transphobic. like. what am i supposed to get as my takeaway here with the last scene??

[blackstarchanx3new]

FSR rambles...THE FIFTH ONE???

It dawned on me while I work on the 2nd flashback comic in a row I could talk about the scene between Blue and Green. I will probably have less interesting/insightful things to say about this chapter since it was mostly "Aftercare" for all the BS I put yall through with the Link chapter. X'D

I actually EXTENDED this scene from it's OG length not sure how obvious that is though. We all needed to heal. UwU Mostly me actually lmfao. I write obnoxiously fluffy shit after dark shit to make me feel better. X'D

IS IT TONAL WIPLASH!? MAYBE!? DO I CARE???? NOOOOOOO.

Jumping into this page after the last one it gives the impression Blue talking yanked Green out of his thoughts about Link/the past few days leading up to Link pulling the sword.

Twice now someone has warded off Dark Link just by talking to the person he's affecting. Previous being Shadow not so elegantly yelling at Vio till he woke the hell up but he was way deeper in in than Green is here.

Onto the more pressing matter of this page though:

Green feels responsible for taking care of everyone and was worried about what Vio was going to go do once he left the house: Note, we SAW what Shadow and Vio were up too but Green has NO CLUE. If he knew I feel like he'd be more concerned about the freakin' panic attack oof.

Vio just said he was going for a walk and hasn't come back for presumably hours. Right after the split too and with someone who is DUBIOUS at best. The situation kinda just sucks.

Blue gets annoyed with Green's stubbornness offering to take his place in waiting for Vio. The millionth sign he cares about Vio a lot despite his previous ranting.

Dude just decides to concedes to sitting with Green cause it's easier than trying to get him to sleep. Despite him OBVIOUSLY needing it.

Fair question to ask all things considered...

Not much to say story wise but art wise Blue is very cute and his super long side burns are one of my favorite things about him outside of his huge eyebrows. Yall will know weird eyebrows are a thing I enjoy drawing if you've seen my art for a long time. XD

That hug went on a little too long lmao. Blue's kind of shy about physical affection and I think that's cute.

Blue doesn't wanna be Link, like at all. He must have also caught Vio staring at the sword's pedestal because he knows Vio had thoughts about placing it earlier and knew Green had paranoia about Vio putting the sword back while on the "Walk"

Blue's perceptive.

Green says the gayest thing he possibly could prompting one of my favorite lines from Blue in this entire comic "Why am I the only normal one???" He's projecting his own insecurities about being "weird" onto the Vio and Green.

He really wanted the split to be the key to solving all their/Link's problems. Unlucky for him it just makes 4 times more issues oop.

Blue ain't an idiot. He can tell Green's not doing too well. UNLIKE VIO GREEN'S ACTUALLY HONEST RIGHT OFF THE BAT WITH HIS PROBLEMS/FEARS.

Blue decides he wants to be the 2nd most level headed character in this comic outside of Shadow Link.

Blue's a true bud.

Blue how dare you capture Green's heart. X'D Vio and Green are both desperate for comfort. I find Green and Vio were the ones affected by Link's depression the most.

Vio harbors a LOT of regret and anxiety. Green feels overwhelming pressure to do what Link did before the split while being "Diet Link".

Vio's less good at dealing with and communicating emotions are hard for the purple boy. Green doesn't have this problem and is with someone who gets what he's going through right away while Shadow wasn't sure WHAT was the problem when Vio started to break down.

Green never gets to that point at least not here.

Green and Blue also don't have the utter BAGAGE Vio and Shadow do lmao so that probably helps.

Green and Vio got baggage together that will be unpacked later. ;)

Lol Green's confession is cute. Blue's a lot less comfortable saying stuff quite like that. Red's the MOST comfortable saying that kind of thing so maybe this scene is OOC but Green's insanely difficult to characterize so I'm doing whatever I want with him. X'D

Blue hasn't been slick at all about his feelings towards Vio let's be real and Green calls him out.

Shadow Link pisses Blue off and I'm so giddy to show off more of WHY that is. (It's deeper than he's jealous which you can probably figure from his dialogue.)

Also just goes to show Link himself still harbored tough feelings around Shadow Link deeper than Vio's emotional baggage.

While Vio was in denial he was still alive despite the obvious fact he was there the whole time and the notion they could ever meet again, even HOPING they wouldn't, he still showed fondness towards Shadow and was happy to be around him.

Blue actively doesn't like Shadow and has been vocal about that fact. If Blue calling him a "Bitch" and a "Bastard" didn't make that clear enough.

Green you'll notice only at first mentions wanting Vio to come back but switches to mentioning them both in the next page. He also was the one who clarified Shadow was welcome to stay with them and was apart of their team. Showing a sort of neutral leaning on positive tone to Shadow's existence.

Red's relationship with Shadow is nonexistent at this point but will be explored later so I can't speak on it as of rn. Red hasn't had much of a role but I will point out I did like drawing him in the BG of these pages. XD He's still around just sleepy.

Blue's ability to sense danger is such an interesting thing about him. Like, that's so useful I wish we got to see it more in the manga.

I appreciated Blue way more as a character after drawing these pages and it made me change how I wrote him in certain scenes in the script X'D

I want him to have just as much depth as Vio and Shadow, because while Vidow had a strong focus at the START the whole of the comic leans on: A sequel to FSA vibe.

We're left on a cliff hanger for what the hell Blue's afraid of...Vaati perhaps?

We'll see.

Blue being protective of Green was smth I thought would be cute, but Green also trusts his judgment.

Also smth that will be touched on btw and I'm sure yall have noticed is: Where the hell is Princess Zelda/what is she up too. Considering she got a letter from Link.

[graysanatimony]

Character asks: (i picked a bunch because I loooooooooooove learning about other peoples characters:3)

3/9/11/13/14/15/18/21/23/24/50

Have a nice day 💛💛💛💛💛💛💛 and please only pick the ones you wanna answer the most because its so many 💛💛💛💛)

I’m gonna answer all of them cause I like to talk about my characters and I’ve got the time, this is gonna be about the main character of a book I’m trying to write, Katrina/kat. Not too worried about spoilers cause I doubt it’ll ever get published or anything

3.is your character an optimist or pessimist 

I think she’s a bit of both but probably more of a pessimist 

9.What emotion does you character feel most frequently 

Confusion.

11.what events in their past helped shape and influence them into who they are today

Being born  I think meeting cait, who is her best friend and i may have accidentally made a lot like my friend with a name that can be shortened to cait

13.who is the closest person to your character 

Probably cait who I previously mentioned or her wee brother Jordan (the only character I’m letting myself name partly after joker out not including Katrina) 

14.how did they become so close

Cait I think was just like you are my friend now and they were and Jordan is a really small child (like 6) so he’s kind of just imprinted on her cause she’s nice

15.what habits does your character have

Crying, in my head she like picks at the skin around her nails and stuff and like plays with her bracelets and rings, a lot of fidgeting 

18.who/what comforts your character 

Probably her family and friends, mainly Cait and her dad, and music, both playing and listening to it

21.what is your characters relationship with their emotions

She doesn’t understand them or know how to deal with them properly I think, they’re very big emotions most of the time and yeah

23.if your character is at a loud,people filled party how would they act

She would leave. Or stay right beside one of her friends 

24.from childhood to their current age, how has your character changed

She’s 15/16 so she’s kind of still in childhood so she hasn’t changed much but I think she’s gotten more happy cause things have changed around and inside her but like still has issues to figure out but different ones to the ones she had as a child

50.why did you choose to use this character to answer these questions

She’s one of the few characters I have and she’s one of my favourites, and I may be projecting a tiny bit with some of her personality traits and feelings 

Holy shit that took ages, also it fucking deleted itself when I was trying to write it earlier so I had to take it to the notes app to stop that from happening again

Thank you <3 🧡🖤💜🧡🖤💜

[dragonflyxparodies]

hey i just wanna let u know ive reread af,au a bunch of times and i think my favorite piece has got to be laurel evergreen. im absolutely obsessed w the lore you've created for domino, and the perspective youve created for daphne. shes one of my favorite characters just because of the potential she could have had in canon, and youre doing so much with her it brings a tear to my eye lol. but whenever i get to that part in the reread i take extra time reading it, the way you describe her emotions and actions and how they intertwine is just amazing. i eat it up every time. ive said it before i'll say it again im obsessed with it. i love the hand you had daphne deal in the fate of the coven, and the way you write about her rage is just. so good. i know im rambling but its so hard to fond the words to describe the joy this makes me feel. the emphasis you put on daphne still culturally being considered a child reminds me in a way of all of what shes doing in the fic being a temper tantrum of a child. the illogical and creative thought process she takes, the simple rage that fills her, arent things you find in adult povs, but the minds of children who are easily angered when things dont go their way. daphne is undeniably not a kid, but she isnt an adult either and you do a wonderful job of getting that across. i also love the way you accredit daphnes achievements in a way to bloom, that doesnt take away the fact daphne did them. its less, 'daohne did all of this for bloom', and more 'daphne is a person willing to do the impossible for things she holds dear', adding more to a character that we dont really get, instead of centering her purely around bloom. i could go on and on but this is a lot of words so. youre an amazing writer and a bug inspiration. and i love laurel evergreen a lot lol

Aaa thank you so much < 3<3 <3 I’m so glad you enjoy Laurel Evergreen so much – it was one of my favorite pieces to write, and it’s one of the pieces that are closest to my heart.

I feel like Daphne is kind of getting the short end of the stick in this AU as far as, like, reader sympathy goes, just because the POVs of the main cast are so limited – she’s super antagonistic in Field Trip, and Bloom is not having it, but Daphne’s response is wholly reasonable for her position, for what she knows, for what she’s seeing. She’s a complex character with a whole Lot of Shit to deal with (and she’s still a teenager!). Laurel Evergreen was written waaay before Field Trip, but I’m *very* happy it gives you all a real insight into her character rather than how Bloom + Co see her.

I never got the impression that S1 Daphne was meant to center her entire being around Bloom although…y’know, later seasons oof…and I’m glad that carried through to Laurel Evergreen! I think it’s very important to note; it didn’t have to be Bloom, and you hit the nail on the head lol – Daphne would’ve done that for anyone she cared about.

Which, of course, makes the tragedy of so many of those people she cared about instigating the wholesale genocide of her planet, that much more powerful.

Thank you <3 <3 <3 <3

[haysprite]

JOEY HEADCANON TIME !!! <3 I don't talk about him enough despite how much I adore him, so this was long overdue ! As per usual, this is just my interpretation of his character n whatnot.

• AuDHD haver :3c

• He loves cosplaying SO much like holy shit !!! He will spend DAYS working on a cosplay of his favorite comic book characters, even if he’ll only wear it once! He just wants to look cool

• Has an extensive collection of comic books, and will show em off to anybody who shows any interest in them whatsoever

• I feel like he’s really good at dancing! It's not something that he does a lot, but boy does he love to do it! He loves to dance with Susie a lot, who isn’t very good herself but she has a super fun time dancing with him

• Has the lowest energy of the group, so though he likes to do a lot of shit and cause trouble, he needs to spend a lot longer recuperating than the other three, whether he’s reading comics alone or just chilling with his friends

• Is a bit more quiet compared to the other three, though he can get VERY loud when he wants (or needs) to be

• Carries a little notebook around in his pocket to write down random ideas he gets

• He LOVES dogs so much!!! Whenever he passes by a dog, he just has to stop and say hi to it and pet it if he can! He’s always wanted one, and dreams of getting one when he’s finally moved out

• Loves the look of skulls, he thinks they’re really cool 

• Middle child of five kids, and defo has a bit of middle child syndrome, so he tries hard to stand out amongst the five of em. His younger siblings look up to him a lot, though, and he has an alright bond with his older siblings. 

• He and Julie may share the braincell of the group,, but sometimes his impulsiveness just gets the best of him :o) 

• The most trustworthy driver of the bunch, and tends to be the chauffeur for their late night shenanigans. He also knows quite a bit about cars, so he’s the first person Julie will call if she’s having trouble with her own. Joey’s had to drive out to the middle of nowhere to help Julie out with a flat tire or busted engine a couple times

• Besides wanting to earn money so he can move out as soon as he graduates, he really wanted to work so that he could stay away from home more often, since he tended to feel really confined there. Thankfully that motive died down a bit after The Legion was formed, since he was out hanging out with them more often outside of school and work

   -Speaking of work, he was NOT the biggest fan of any of his jobs. He’d get really bored and tend to daydream or ignore a lot of the tasks at hand, which is typically why he got fired. Julie would help him jobhunt despite knowing that he’d eventually get fired, since she really did wanna try and help him out somehow

• Really smart academically! Unlike Julie, though, he tended to do most of his work since he found it ridiculously easy and didn’t wanna deal with the consequences at home nor school

• Despite typically dressing in all black, his favorite color is actually blue, specifically navy blue and cyan

• Finds sports ridiculously boring, and hated being dragged to Frank’s basketball games by Julie. He’d still find some fun in it, since he was with his friends, but he wasn’t the happiest camper about it

• Has a bit of RBF 🙏 Tends to intimidate a lot of people without trying to because of this

• He’s the one everyone will go to whenever they need to talk about something, whether it's to rant about their day or show off something that they found! Just overall really great to talk to

• Gets frustrated very easily if something isn’t turning out the way he wanted it to, and will tend to brute force shit until he gets them to work

 • He’s able to read people decently well, more so in a “I can figure out their motives and what they want from me” than a “I know exactly what that person is feeling” kind of way

• Whenever Julie is havin’ a rough day and Frank isn’t around, he’ll typically snatch her and take her to the gas station to get her a snack and just talk to help her feel better

• When he met Frank, he almost immediately figured out somethin’ was gonna happen between him and Julie, and low and behold, Joey was right. He likes to tease them about this sometimes, since he found it really obvious when neither of them did

• He and Frank will often make stupid bets with each other, most of them including pretty dangerous or idiotic dares that have a high chance of landing one of ‘em in the hospital if they aren’t careful. Susie tends to panic over these, meanwhile Julie is both extremely entertained by their stupidity while also going into mom mode and trying to get them to stop, mainly just cause she doesn’t want them to get too hurt

• He and Frank are each other's right-hand man 👍 They’ll typically confide in each other whenever they need some sort of relationship advice (Joey’s never been in a relationship until Susie and Frank knows how close Julie and Joey are so he requires his help sometimes lmfao)

• Does the lil foot tapping thing that cartoon characters do whenever he’s waiting for something, since he does tend to get a bit impatient

• He’s pretty strong, so sometimes he likes to just,,, pick up his friends and carry them around, mainly ‘cause he finds their reactions pretty funny when he just yoinks them away from whatever they’re doing. Susie enjoys it a lot, Julie can’t help but laugh since he tends to do it when she and Frank are in the middle of talking, leaving Frank to chase after them, and Frank tends to protest and try to get Joey to drop him

• Has difficulties falling asleep, so he’ll either read his comics or call one of his friends to talk to until he eventually falls asleep

• Has a few plushies lying around that Susie has gifted him throughout the years, one of which he struggles to sleep without

[avese23]

Can’t deal with people who act all personally aggrieved that they can’t personalize the entire internet to their personal happy place. Especially people who then go out looking for things to get mad at

(This isn’t about people venting about trolls or harassment. It sucks. I’m sorry. Fuck bullies and bigots. This also isn’t about flash warnings, and anything that keeps people with epilepsy safe)

But like, it’s not other people’s job to read your mind and guess what hyperspecific trigger you have then manually tag everything for one person. I’ve seen people ask creators to tag images with the character their blog is about. Just block the blog. That’s not a safe blog for you.

It’s not other people’s job to explain that fucked up shit in fiction is not real. You’re not a child and we’re not your parents here to hold your hand and reassure you that the actor is only playing dead.

I think a good example of effective content warnings is Hazbin. They’re not gonna put one up every individual episode to tell you a show full of swearing and gore is gonna have swearing and gore. But episode 4 is more graphic than any other episode so it’s given a separate warning. Because someone signing up for the rest of the episodes might genuinely be taken aback by that one.

Or Hashtag Ruthless Productions always putting heavy topics in their politics section. Asking for a warning every episode would be silly when you can just skip the politics section. You know it’s gonna be venting and politics. So don’t be surprised when it’s about politics. But if they talk about dark topics that aren’t typically brought up in that fandom they do give warning. For instance most people wouldn’t expect a discussion about eating disorders when the hosts talk about the cult in Wayward Son. Or a spoiler for Star Trek in a podcast about Buffy. So *then* it makes sense.

It’s social kindness and being stewardess to recognize when you as a creator are putting out something unexpectedly and objectively shocking to people who didn’t consent to it. It’s not other people’s job however, to use common sense for you. Or to read your mind. Don’t click on a video about a movie and get mad at spoilers for that mobile. Don’t read the Bible and get mad about major character death (Christian’s don’t come after me with a ‘well actually’ I haven’t read it 😭)

Speaking of Christianity if you’re someone who gets mad at Christian’s being upset by goths wearing crosses (which is silly) but then get upset by what people are writing about your blorbos on ao3 you might wanna do some soul searching.

So no I don’t care about your DNI list. No I don’t care that you only want virgos to reblog your post about Home Depot. No I don’t care that you can’t tell the difference between an anime character and a person, between real life and a plot point, between internet drama and an actual crime. I find that dude from Friends ugly af to that point I cringe but I’m not gonna go harass fandom accounts or look up every bad thing the characters done and accuse blogs of being bad people. I don’t like a lot of ATLA ships and think both Zutara and Kataang are morally gross af but I’m not gonna say the writers or the fans are sympathizing with pedophilia or abuse. Cuz that’s ridiculous.

When I publish works I’m gonna make it clear what kind of story it is. And then I’m gonna step back and tell the fucking story. I’m not gonna pop up every other chapter to warn people that a gay character calls another gay character a fag affectionately. Or a character in a toxic relationship *shocker* is having a bad time. I’m not gonna tell people that the horror work has gore and a jump scare. It’s horror.

Cuz I’m not gonna infantilize my audience and trust that they can set their own boundaries when it comes to stories they want to consume. No one is forcing them.

Media isn’t sex you don’t have to check in with every escalation. Entertainment isn’t your textbook, Phillip Schuyler is allowed to have no sons. A character isn’t your child they’re allowed to wear what they want and go on dangerous ass quests.

It’s frustrating being told to choose between assholes who project their own privilege onto others and assholes who project their own trauma onto others. Nuance exists.

Now block me dear lord, you’re doing the inventor of the block button a disservice when you get off on being pissed off

[svnflower-writes]

info about my main WIPS rn:

i have too many WIPS shut up i know

original stories:

next christmas:

short story (kind of, if I say it's a short story it'll still be lots of words lmao) about two girls and a small look into their life each christmas and they're best friends who think their pining is unrequited and every time they're like "it's ok it'll happen next christmas!" and it just doesn't and they have to deal with lots of mental health stuff

main characters:

August: lesbian, she/her, i love her so much she's the loml, people pleaser, slowly realises that she doesn't have to be the second choice and she should be a priority, is a bit of an asshole to Lottie in like chapters 5-9 but Lottie deserves it tbh

Charlotte/Lottie: bisexual, she/they, kind of a bitch a lot of the time, gets into relationships for like a week and then gets into another one a month later, commitment issues, eventually has a redemption arc thing and she actually does deserve August

Ayanda/Aya: asexual, panromantic, they/she, they are my spirit animal i love her so much, August's new bestie, absolute sweetheart who values friendship over anything else, also basically the reason EVERYTHING happens in the story

everyone else is kinda irrelevant ngl

love is not enough:

name will definitely change I hate it.

plot is very complicated idk if I even understand it and I'm the one writing it 😭💀 basically gay royalty but it's confusing and the economy is dying and the main love interest is kinda a fugitive??? i guess???? lots of secrets yay

main characters:

kit chevalier-fernsby: gay (very much closeted), he/him, prince, science, slightly pretentious but that's his parents fault, he loves dates where they stay in with blankets and candles and hot chocolate and read books together. he's such a cutie patootie i wanna give him a hug <3

lucas akehurst: unlabelled, he/they, gaurd, hopeless romantic, artist, midnight walks in the rain + art galleries + coffee, mysterious. he is my baby i will protect him at all costs.

no side character information bc i can't be bothered <3

fanfics

hell is a teenage girl:

hunger games fic! finnick's younger (15 years old) sister going through her hunger games and gaining a lot of trauma. very emotion and relationship (familial, platonic, and romantic but the friends she makes are arguably more valuable to her than her relationship). basically she goes through what finnick goes through and she learns to be a manipulative little shit bc what else is she meant to do

main characters:

serena odair: loml. bisexual icon (with a preference for woman) who is a little bit manipulative but let's be real when you're in the arena you do whatever the fuck you can to stay alive. district four, she wins (duh she's the main character) and her brother means absolutely everything to her. spoiler: trauma yay

cassie farwater: serena's best friend! district 11 and a mean lesbian. 16 years old and her friends mean the world to her. her loyalty is what gets her killed.

eloise astor: serena's gf!! district one – been training for the games her whole life so it comes as a big surprise when she sacrifices herself for marina!!

kaz claremont: the district partner/close friend – he's quite and determined and he listens. he knows all the gossip. very impulsive and bold. panromantic + asexual

ash terra: the only person who gives serena a run for her money in the manipulative category. he's an absolute bitch and will stab anyone in the back without hesitation. makes it clear to everyone that this isn't a game of trust. district 3

sadie nightgrove: district 5, cassie's gf. bisexual. very charming and puts on a clueless facade before turning on people. despite being absolutely able to win the games she would never hurt the people she's allied with - and that is her downfall

mad woman

sequel to hell is a teenage girl and yes it's named after the taylor swift song. quarter quell and lots of serena and finnick sibling bonding. very protective finnick and very manipulative (not to finnick) serena, they're a power duo.

serena is like the only original character in this so she's basically the same just more traumatized and hotter.

[optiwashere]

Hi just wanted to say from one trans person to another I love your trans headcanons and the way you depict various characters as trans, the T4T dynamics, the dictotomy between ones who are more like irl people who've been on hormones for a while and ones that are more fantastical, it's delicious it's great I'll eat it tf up every time ❤️‍🔥✨

Gender is a metaphorical buffet and we can pick and choose what parts we wanna devour 😋

Trans Karlach with trans Shadowheart is definitely one of my personal favorites, they're so goddamn cute and sweet together, I will gladly devour more content about them any day 😈 also trans Lae'Zel, she can get in the cuddle pile too, as a treat

Having said all that, I know you mainly write transfemme characters since that is what you know the best, but do you have any thoughts on transmasc characters? I'd say Wyll would do fantastically as a trans man and it'd add another layer to being rejected and kicked out by his dad so to speak. Also his pact with Mizora could give him a monster devil cock as one way of gender affirmation, as you do. T4T Karlach and Wyll is very important to me ❤️‍🔥🥺

Right out the gate, I just want to say a blanket thank you! 💜 I love writing the varied experiences of trans women, just like you said in your very kind words. Sometimes it's more heightened and intense and super explicit and matches one group's experience, and sometimes it's very lowkey and not very graphic, if it's graphic at all, and matches others' experiences. There's an infinite variety of trans women out there, and I try to match what I know with my friends and others while sprinkling on our version of the fantasy on top (heh)

I love to hear it, and I'm hoping to write as much Karlach/Shadowheart as I can manage between my beloved OC ship as well as all the rat posting.

I've mused over trans Minthara before, a drow trans woman is so JUICY for familial trauma and how to be the "correct" kind of woman. But trans Lae'zel I haven't! Her experience would be so interesting as a githyanki...

So, eventually I'll have to add a bit about this to my FAQ in a way that makes any amount of sense. As much as I would love to write transmasc characters, I'm just not convinced of my ability to do it justice without either falling into fetishism (either in smut or trauma fetishism) or requiring the kind of care that I don't really think I have the time for right now.

I'd also want a beta with sensitivity reading/editing experience for that specifically, and I'm not in the market for one at the moment!

I saw a post here musing about trans Wyll and I love it, and frankly I want everyone to have a giant pile of trans fics one day. But I'm only one woman, and my skillset is only in one area, sadly. T4T Karlach and Wyll would be magical, I agree.

Trans Wyll in particular works so well for all the reasons you described. He's so young, he's dealing with a lot on his plate as it is. Adding in familial issues and fears of rejection leading to self-rejection? That's good shit.

Gotta trans 'em all.