#kids can hurt too
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I love getting diagnosed with AMPS which is essentially the Pediatric version of “bro is in way more pain than normal but we don’t wanna give them the like actual diagnosis for said pain. We wanna let them simmer and suffer a bit more. Character growth and all that”.
Like dog, I am freshly 18, give me the fibromyalgia diagnosis and never see me again. Rheumatologist’s in peds can suck my dick, why are they so useless. He refused to believe that I’m in as much pain as I am. He told me my brain is just tricking me into thinking I’m in pain and I should expose myself to painful sensations to retrain it. Brother… I will not be doing the chronic pain version of ABA therapy. I’m also, get this, TOO OLD FOR THAT SORT OF TREATMENT. IM TOO OLD FOR THAT TO EVEN BE A PROBLEM NOW.
Oh my GOD I wanna throw someone out a window
#amplified musculoskeletal pain syndrome#also known as#fibromyalgia#I had to message him like#bro wtf#why not just give me the proper diagnosis#yk the one that’s treatable#AMPS is a ridiculous diagnosis anyway#don’t make kids go through sensory hell#just believe them#it’s not hard#kids can hurt too#kids can have chronic illness#chronic pain is real
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they want to talk about mental illness and acceptance and how everyone is a little ocd it's cute and quirky and their "intrusive thoughts" are about cutting their hair off and you say yours are about taking a razorblade to your eye and they say ew can you not and everyone is a little adhd sometimes! except if you're late it's a personality flaw and it's because you are careless and cruel (and someone else with adhd mentions they can be on time, so why can't you?) and it's not an eating disorder if it's girl dinner! it's not mania if it's girl math! what do you mean you blew all of your savings on nonrefundable plane tickets for a plane you didn't even end up taking. what do you mean that you are afraid of eating. get over it. they roll their little lips up into a sneer. can you not, like, trauma dump?
they love it on them they like to wear pieces of your suffering like jewels so that it hangs off their tongue in rapiers. they are allowed to arm-chair diagnose and cherrypick their poisons but you can't ever miss too many showers because that's, like, "fuckken gross?" so anyone mean is a narcissist. so anyone with visual tics is clearly faking it and is so cringe. but they get to scream and hit customer service employees because well, i got overwhelmed.
you keep seeing these posts about how people pleasers are "inherently manipulative" and how it's totally unfair behavior. but you are a people pleaser, you have an ingrained fawn response. in the comments, you have typed and deleted the words just because it is technically true does not make it an empathetic or kind reading of the reaction about one million times. it is technically accurate, after all. you think of catholic guilt, how sometimes you feel bad when doing a good deed because the sense of pride you get from acting kind - that pride is a sin. the word "manipulation" is not without bias or stigma attached to it. many people with the fawn response are direct victims of someone who was malignantly manipulative. calling the victims manipulative too is an unfair and unkind reading of the situation. it would be better and more empathetic to say it is safety-seeking or connection-seeking behavior. yes, it can be toxic. no, in general it is not intended to be toxic. there is no reason to make mentally ill people feel worse for what we undergo.
you type why is everyone so quick to turn on someone showing clear signs of trauma but you already know the fucking answer, so what's the point of bothering. you kind of hate those this is what anxiety looks like! infographics because at this point you're so good at white-knuckling through a severe panic attack that people just think you're stoic. even people who know the situation sometimes comment you just don't seem depressed. and you're not a 9 year old white kid so there's no way you're on the spectrum, you're not obsessed with trains and you were never a good mathematician. okay then.
mental illness is trending. in 2012 tumblr said don't romanticize our symptoms but to be fair tiktok didn't exist yet. there's these series of videos where someone pretends to be "the most boring person on earth" and is just being a normal fucking person, which makes your skin crawl, because that probably means you are boring. your friend reads aloud a profile from tinder - no depressed bitches i fucking hate that mental illness crap. your father says that medication never actually works.
you still haven't told your grandmother that you're in therapy. despite everything (and the fact it's helping): you just don't want her to see you differently.
#writeblr#warm up#to be clear let me state again: i think you should id however you fucking want if it helps you seek peace#but there is a HUGE difference between being like '.... im undiagnosed but i think i might be X'#and a person who is like ''omg my intrusive thoughts made me buy a birkin!!!''#babe mine made me throw up bc they disgusted me so much <3#mine made me hurt myself evenly. even when i wanted to stop. i have had to put my hand on the stove MULTIPLE TIMES#and again i'd rather have 10000 people get help for something they don't need help for#than have 1 kid NOT get help#but there has GOTTTTT to be a middle ground here#bc at this point it isn't ''raising awareness''#it's . fucking misinformation. and ''what this picture says about you!!!!!''#& yes! im mostly talkin about ppl who are actually disgusted and offended by signs of mental illness#but use it to defend THEIR actions#like babe you hate when kids start yelling in the walmart? but you YOuRSELF can yell?#you are depressed so it's fine you were cruel to your spouse?#but if your spouse spends too much time in bed she's a lazy fuck?#your partner needs to do everything for you bc of your history in trauma? but when SHE has needs she's being clingy and gross?#HUGE difference here between whom i think most of my followers are btw. like#all it takes is fucking anyyyy empathy or kindness . like.#anyway it's hard to explain im hoping we all know the person im talking about lol
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I want Eddie to surprise Buck at the firehouse like they get back from a call and they’re all exhausted and Eddie is just standing in the loft smiling and Buck hasn’t seen him since he moved four months ago and he doesn’t even think he just barrels at Eddie and bear hugs him like that Ravi hug except he keeps going and Buck has Eddie pinned to the wall and they’re gripping each other like they’ll burst into flames if they let go and the rest of the team are both happy for them and disgusted by them
#buddie#buck pinning his love interests to walls and throwing his size/weight around is something that can be so personal#I don’t know if Eddie wraps his legs around bucks thick ass torso#but it wouldn’t hurt#Eddie with his arms so tight around buck#their fucking tattoos lining up#no kissing not now#just holding each other#just breathing for the first time in months#chris has crucially decided to sit on the couch and god his dads are so fucking embarrassing guys are you kidding you’re in public#and then they finally separate and Buck is now sobbing and pulling Chris into a hug#and then Eddie is wrapping himself around the two of them and their family is back together#and the rest of a shift join the hug too because I love a fucking group hug
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AU in which Stan fakes his death way ahead of schedule and keeps on surviving alone until one day years later he turns on the TV in his dirty motel room and sees his 17year old self grinning back at him.
“The Stanley Pines Home & Shelter Project for Wayward Teens was founded almost 8 years ago by Filbrick Pines and the rest of the Pines family after the tragic passing of their beloved son and brother.”
WHAT THE FUCK?! What kind of scam is this? Stan would be almost impressed if he didn’t feel like throwing up.
As it turns out, while Stan completely forgot about that one time he faked his death his family built up a whole charity in his honor. They can’t get Stanley back but at least they could make sure his story wouldn’t repeat again.
Stan's whole family is on screen talking about how great Stan was and how they failed him.
Filbrick is crying.
Sobbing about how he killed his little boy and how he never expected Stan to leave for real.
Stan throws up.
Definitely a scam. His Pa figured out a way for Stan to make them money after all. All Stan had to do was die.
[Stan vehemently ignores the voice in his head telling him that neither Ford nor Filbrick could act to save their lives. And that no amount of money would be enough to convince his Pa to cry on camera.]
So it’s a scam. And they put Stan's name on it. Which means all the money they make from his sob story belongs to him.
Robbing a charity for homeless kids isn’t even in the top 10 worst things he’s done.
#gravity falls#stanley pines#filbrick pines#stanford pines#turns out you can never have enough “everyone thinks stans dead” fics dancing around in your head#as for filbrick i was trying to come up with the worst way to hurt him-which is unfortunately to make him capable of change and regret#nothing worse than having to live with the fact that you killed your own kid because youre an awful piece of shit and#youll never have a chance to make it right ♡.#does he deserve forgiveness? nah. will Stan forgive him anyways cause he loves his family too much even if they keep hurting him? yea.#on a different note turns out its really easy to steal the money from a fundraiser if you just dress up like a nerd#stans in denial. tells himself he wants to money but he really justwants to see his family and figure stuff out#without actually dealing with his emotions
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Curiosity and Puzzle Boxes
It was tiny Tim's first time being 'old' enough to be left home alone without a babysitter, and even though he KNOWS he shouldn't mess or play with some of the things his parents sent home from their digs, he's still a very curious child.
Yeah, maybe playing and later solving that old puzzle box that apparently summoned a powerful eldritch being from a different realm and binded them together until his own death might not have been the brightest thing Tim has done... but at least he's not alone now!
Meanwhile, Danny takes one look at the kid who not only summoned him but solved the puzzle box and sighed to himself, this was the last time he took Tuckers advice on how to escape the dumb Ghost King summonings by creating a 'prove yourself worthy' loophole/puzzle.
Also.. where the heck are your parents kid?!?!?
#danny phantom#danny fenton#dp x dc#crossover#blue rambles#writing ideas#random idea#danny phantom dc#dpxdc#a trope ive seen done before but i wanna throw my idea in the ring as well#baby tim is ghost adopted by danny#tiny tim is smart#but baby too#danny really hoped to get out of summonings#but he didnt take into account of the smarty smart Tim Drake#Danny got uncomfortable flashbacks to his own childhood when he asks Tim where is parents were at.#and he says 'they have more important work to do than be with me.'#Tim meant it as a little business man way to show hes grown up but there is a hint of hurt in his tone#and Danny can hear it and decides to channel his inner Jazz#yep this is his kid now
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Gortash has a 'love' for humanity and it's making me sick cuz that's perhaps why I even like him. Cuz it's twisted and messed up and rotten, so fucking rotten, but it's there, and his every step and every plan of his strives towards the betterment of the status quo in some way and advancement of humanity in a way that's just making me sick.
In this essay I will-
#I'm not kidding btw#Look at him and what he does#His grand design aka personal golden order#The fact that his parents are still alive#The busts in his office#The steelwatch#His idiotic idea of a hivemind#The way he handles the other chosen and their fellowship#The way he uses the bhaalists to take out the trash and the myrkulites as threats#It's all clear strikes where it hurts bad enough to change people's minds without “too much” damage#I can actually write an essay about it gods I'm ill#lesser evil personified#just think about his position and the power he undoubtedly holds#and now imagine orin or ketheric or durge in that same position#and how shit would look much much worse if they were#i loathe this guy but he went ahead and fixed aome real issues#single-handedly averted bhaalspawn crisis 2.0 with his dick#bg3#enver gortash#bg3 gortash
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Trying to do hw but my mind solely wants to think about how charas motivations only make sense if you look at it from the eyes of a child and that ignoring them being a kid is how the fandom got stupid ideas in it's head of them being a mass manipulator who's entirely evil even though the game beats it into our head they made the plan BECAUSE they loved the dreemurrs. Like obviously their plan was never going to work it was a bad fucking plan from the getgo and little kids are 1) stubborn and 2) not known for thinking things through????? People saw asriel call them not the greatest person and a say he wished frisk was his friend (which fair!! Charas plan did get him killed and was the catalyst for things going wrong!) And immediately jumped to making them abusive ignoring all of the evidence that chara did care about and loved monsterkind.
#this goes ditto for flowey. yeah yeah hc him as a childish adult all you want but him turing back into asriel is proof enough that hes a kid#to me at least. that and time loops negate growth by nature. hes constantly refusing to move on or mature cause hes still stuck in that#same headspace he had from after he died. he may KNOW more but thay little fucker still never went through puberty or learned from his#consequence because by nature of the reset he never HAD to deal with consequences until frisk took that power from him.#chara#chara undertale#chara dreemurr#this is a vauge post :)#ut fandom when little kid with severe mental issues whos worldview is activly harmful BECAUSE they are a child: why is it evil and a woman#people mixing their headcanons with canon by interpreting every line about chara and asriel in the worst way possible. if chara is eating#the fucking flowers they too are getting hurt by them. asriel picking the flowers is too show he too was on board with the plan NOT CHARA#ABUSING HIM BY MAKING HIM PICK THEM SO HE GETS RASHES???? and none of how chara interacts with us in nm points to them being abusive either#shocking take i know but you can be a bad friend to someone without abusing them!!!!! yes chara was probably toxic but the proof people use#as them abusing asriel drives me insane because half of it is just painting them as a master manipulator who was fully aware of what they#were doing instead of an actual child. like wdym you think they poisoned asgore on purpose to test out if buttercups are poisonous#monsters are different physiologically than humans and if chara WAS doing it on purpose that fact alone would make them look stupid because#how the poison affected asgore would affect them differently!!!! and they.cooked.the.pie. they cooked the fucking pie meaning it would have#been less effective and likely not even have worked. the fact that he was affected at all is proof enough it was an accident because trying#to make it so it was on purpose you have to go through so many hoops to rationalize why chara would think this would work.#if that last bit makes any sense im giving up and doing my fuck ass math. if your going to think of chara as a manipulating abuser then the#supposed plan your giving them needs to make sense from their perspective and it DOESNT make sense from that pov.
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Wake up, BurningCheese/GoldenSpice babes, new poorly drawn blorbos just dropped
They look cooler in my head, I swear.
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the images didn't show up the first time wtf lol
The kids are finally here, yay. I promised I'd show you them, and I finally stopped being an asshole and followed through. Almost got 200 followers and I'm very grateful for it - really, I'm nobody. I'm just some clown who says dumb stuff and makes dumb memes and writes cringey stories, and yet I convinced almost 200 people to tune in. Thank you all so much, users on here and anons in my inbox alike. As a token of appreciation, you can all endure my rambling about my OCs and witness a person in their early 20s draw like a 12 year old.
The boy is Pepper Jack (or Pepper Jack Cookie). He's the firstborn and older than his sister by a few years. He takes after his mother in a lot of ways, primarily in her appearance (save for nabbing his father's red eyes). He's incredibly bright (and a smartass lol), preferring to think his way out of conflict rather than fight his way out... not that he's above violence at all, if that glaive doesn't give it away lol. He harbors a deep sense of love and loyalty towards his family and his peoples, and carries the weight of his responsibilities and heritage with as much confidence and poise as he can muster. (There are/will be times where he stumbles, of course. He's not perfect. He struggles a lot more than he lets on, really. But he tries his best, for everyone's sake.)
The girl is Matar Paneer (or Matar Paneer Cookie). Again, she's the younger one by a few years. She was all but made in her father's image, save for inheriting her mother's eyes. She's a little firecracker: lively and fun-loving and stubborn as a mule. She doesn't ask "can I have/do this thing", she tells you "I'm going to have/do this thing". Golden is proud as anything to see her daughter be so greedy... until that greed comes into conflict with her and Spice's authority lol. But she's a good kid, despite being such a handful. She has an enormous heart and is not afraid to stand up for others/what's right, and she loves her parents and brother more than anything in the world. She might doubt her own capabilities, she might secretly fear that she's not strong enough to do what she needs to... but she keeps pushing anyway, because she'd honestly choose death over quitting.
Your eyes are not deceiving you, Pepper Jack's wings are blue lol. There's an actual reason for that. And that USO (Unidentified Sitting Object) in Matar Paneer's hair is a lotus (the cheese one in the GCK decor set lol). There's a reason for that, too. I thought it would be cool to give Jack a glaive and swap out the normal blade for that of a khopesh sword (glaives are not Egyptian, they only saw use in Asia and Europe, but I just HAD to give him a glaive), to add that Egyptian touch. Paneer's supposed to be wearing a pattu pavadai, it's a traditional Indian dress for young girls. It's a blouse plus a skirt. She's holding katar, Indian knives (Cilantro Cobra has them, too). And her hair's supposed to be in a low ponytail.
Merchant thinks that if they explain what their terrible drawings are supposed to convey, people will understand their intended vision and the pain will stop
I sat down and did research into both Egyptian and Hindu mythology for the sake of drawing inspiration for them both. I'll explain in detail in another post, but basically: both of them take after one Egyptian god and one Hindu god each. Golden takes after Ra and Spice takes after Shiva, so I figured I'd follow along that line.
Please flood my inbox with questions about them now. I've really been dying to talk about them for ages now. I've drafted extensive character sheets for them both, I even made up in-game descriptions for them lol. They're my little fankid blorbos and I love them :') I hope you all come to love them, too
(Also, I'm sorry they're on lined paper. I'm visiting family rn and that's the only paper my grandmother has in her house. I'd have to drive to a stationery to get printer paper and I'd really rather not drive in this particular country lol (shit roads, even shittier drivers). I'll doodle them on printer paper whenever somebody remembers to bring me some)
#haha spicy cheese and cheesy curry. Get it?#also... when you accidentally indirectly ship Ra x Shiva via making up kids technically born from them lol. Does this count as Old Man Yaoi#(jk I mean no disrespect whatsoever. These gods/faiths are and were important to people and I don't mean to offend)#(I genuinely love learning about other religions and I had fun being inspired by these ones)#(seriously I went ham with this shit. Pepper Jack's birth is based on an Egyptian creation myth lol)#These two have long roads ahead of them. They're going to struggle and get hurt. But they'll pull through and come back better than before#fr please ask me stuff about them. I need an excuse to ramble for 10k words#you can even ask stupid shit like what their favorite color is#I love these two. I feel like their crazy grandma lol#also I have lots of thoughts wrt Spice & Golden as parents and their thoughts/feelings about parenthood#plus their individual relationships with each child#so you can expect me to rant about that too lol#maybe someday Merchant will shut the fuck up#cookie run kingdom#burning spice cookie#golden cheese cookie#burningcheese#goldenspice#cookie run oc#cookie run fankid#pepper jack cookie#matar paneer cookie
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Finally finishing totk
#Totk#Art#Comic#Link#This one gets main blog privileges lololol#Context: I had beat 1 dungeon and promised my buddy not to progress without them. I was just filling out the map and these guys appeared#Totk spoilers in the tags#Okay so here's my totk story because it hurts everyone I tell including myself#First time I played totk I got really fed up with the tutorial. It would just never end.#I got so fed up with it in fact... I never did the story. At all!#My buddy wanted to watch me do the story but we kept missing each other#So I ended up avoiding anything even tangentially related to plot#I never met any characters. Never even knew there were bosses and dungeons. Never entered the castle#And one time my buddy told me there was the awesome boss in the depths I could fight-- a king dragon. Woaaahhh#I made my way over there and was so ready for this epic battle and ended up killing it in 5 seconds. I was too powerful 😂#Keep in mind I did NO DUNGEONS and had grinded up the dynamic difficulty entirely through common enemies to the point of silver lynels#So yeah I stopped playing because I realized I was way too overpowered to start the story#So I started all over again. Finally doing totk the Intended Way™#Uhh... Doing one single dungeon raised the difficulty to the point of black hoglins appearing?? What???#I'm basically rushing every dungeon (I just finished the second one) without preparing at all or doing any shrines#(I killed colgera while dying from cold damage at 4 hearts because I ran out of cold res LMFAO)#So this is really testing my Zelda skillz. It's very fun.#Also. During the first dungeon. I was so obsessed with the kid I almost looked up how I could keep him as my companion#My buddy was so excited for me to find out what the reward was for beating the dungeon 😂😂😂#What else funny... Oh yeah my old save was so jank I never actually got any more than 5 hearts.#Yes I had to defeat lynels mostly hitless since they can kill you despite the mercy quarter heart#I also went to do the first dungeon on the first save and accidentally entered the ship without the child. It TRAPS YOU INSIDE.#It doesn't even give you a warp it just says “die or warp out”. Except I didn't get the shrine halfway up. So I decided to hoverbike out 😓#Oh yeah and it turns out you can ABSOLUTELY get the master sword so so easily.#She flies right past the water dungeon and phases out of existence near immediately it's very funny.
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Prompt:
Both Jason and Damian think the other has died during their time with the League.
Jason, in his grief, goes back to his plans of making Batman pay and beating his replacement into the ground.
Damian goes back to his assassin training like a madman, vowing to find the person who took Jason away from him.
It all gets a little complicated when he finds out Jason may not actually be dead at all.
#Jason raised Damian#Jason is Damian’s parent in all but genetics#you can either make Talia a villain or the one who tells Dami that Jason’s still alive#outcome is still the same because Damian goes hunting for Jason like a bloodhound#read: a scary competent baby of approx. nine years runs away and looks for his dad#no it’s not Batman sorry Bruce#Jason ‘I’m unhinged with grief’ Todd#he can’t go through with hurting Tim too much#he reminds him too much of Damian for that.#it’s all a clusterfuck#the batfam assume someone killed hood’s kid#which isn’t too far from the truth#then Dami shows up#dealer’s choice if he goes to Batman first and demands for them to bring his parent to him or he kills Alfred/dick/tim/barbara#or if he just straight up tries to find him himself#jason todd#batfamily#dick grayson#batfam#robin#bruce wayne#tim drake#red hood#batman#Batdad#parent jason todd#jason todd is a dad#Damian and Jason#prompts
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Stillborn? No, still born au -- Dani Phantom! Clone girl herself. :]
She can't exist in this au. And it's not that I don't want to add her -- although I'll be blunt, I don't, I'll be the first to admit that I think she's more often than not nothing more than a narrative deadweight used to prop up Danny and I don't like adding characters as props -- but her existence quite literally goes against and muddies the Vlad and Danny dynamic I have for this au. Ellie's existence in canon itself states that she was created -- and Danny's other clones too -- because Vlad gave up on trying to convert him to his side and decided to just make a son instead.
Something that just, doesn't happen in the stillborn-still born au. See, for folks who are only just hearing about this au or didn't see my post about Vlad in this au, he and Danny have a complicated love-hate relationship where they mutually want to adopt each other, but their morals and way of doing things -- mainly Vlad's insistence on getting revenge against the Fentons -- gets in the way of them being able to do that in full.
Vlad knows Danny wants him to adopt him, and is only fighting him on it because he refuses to let Vlad kill the Fentons for essentially killing the both of them. He's succeed in 50% of his goal. Canon Vlad never even made it to 1%. With that in mind, stillborn Vlad has no reason and sees no reason to clone Danny, he has his son. He just needs to convince him to let him avenge them both.
Dani simply has no place in the stillborn-still born au. And in fact, if Vlad did decide to clone Danny -- for whatever reason, -- it would damage his relationship with Danny damn near beyond repair. That's because Danny would view it the same way he views Damian's existence; as a replacement for himself. He would become beyond furious and hurt, and not for the typical 'I can't believe you cloned me, you creep!' reason, but for a 'I can't believe you cloned me, you said I was your son!' reason.
I am not pulling any punches here when I say Danny wants Vlad to be his dad just as much as Vlad wants Danny to be his son, there's just a lot of factors getting in the way. They are, as the french say, ✨mentally unwell.✨ Danny has a ton of abandonment and trust issues due to his experiences in foster care. He would immediately become jealous, insecure, and incredibly furious and hurt. He'd despise her on principal and want nothing to do with her, or Vlad for that matter. He'd just fucking haaate her. It's not her fault she was made but Danny doesn't really care, he's lashing out and pushing people away because he's been betrayed yet again.
The only way they could get along or for Danny to actually like her in any capacity would be if it was his idea to clone himself. Which is like, kinda obvious but considering most clone plots tend to be non-consensual it's kinda gotta be said. He has to have a hand in creating her, that's the only way I can see him liking her in any way. Or if someone other than Vlad created her. If Vlad clones him though, all bets are off the table and he'll despise her.
TL;DR: Dani can't exist in this au because she goes against the narrative I've got for the two most fucked up half-dead could-be-father-son duo in existence, but if she did exist Danny would despise her.
#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dpxdc crossover#dp x dc#dp x dc crossover#dpdc#danyal al ghul au#stillborn? no still born au#stillborn danny#danyal al ghul#dpxdc au#vlad masters#dani phantom#he's what the french like to call 'emotionally unstable' <3. vlad is a possessive parent thats obvi but DANNY is a possessive son#he is SO not mentally okay. he's a good kid! but he's also mentally unwell and incredibly traumatized <3#he doesnt play nice with his biological siblings unfortunately :((#danny as a default pushes his people away from him and flinches away from most conventional affection bc he thinks its insincere#and it takes a while to convince him that yes you do actually care about his well being and you're not going to hurt him.#he really is just a traumatized cat that you have to coax into letting you pet it. he clings onto the people he trusts like a terrified cat#have you ever tried pulling a cat down from something when their claws are dug into it and the only way you can get them down is by hurting#them a little because you have to yank them off? yeah that's danny.#if dani DID exist and Danny and her DID get along she'd spend a lot of time also convincing him to let vlad kill the fentons. danny keeps#trying to tell her murder is wrong. dani just says 'but they got you and dad killed' and unfortunately she is as stubborn as her brother an#dad. she gets to be a little evil. as a treat <3. she also doesnt like damian but that's because she too is a possessive sister#who doesnt like to share and damian already *has* a bunch of older brothers. he doesn't *need* danny. and also he's a replacement#we love complicated family dynamics <33 THE most dysfunctional half-dead not-family ever.
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Long Day at School
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Daddy! Peeta makes my heart melt. Figured everyone needed some of him to withstand the winter.
#dad bod! Peeta does things to me that I can’t explain on tumblr sorry#bc you can’t tell me after 20 years he doesn’t look like a dad#he’s in his 40s let him eat cheese buns and complain about his back hurting#and I just know the toast babies would hang on him and want to be held constantly#he’d want to hold them constantly#que walking into the bakery and he’s got both kids on his hips and he asks how he can help you#but my personal little heacannon for this pic#the school and bakery aren’t too far apart so he picks up the kids if Katniss can’t (she’s hunting#and he picks them up after letting them play with their friends for a few minutes#in this pic toastbaby girl is probably 5ish and toastbaby boy is a baby so he wouldn’t be in school yet#I headcannon the siblings are 3ish years apart#but Peeta picks up his little girl from school and she’s not chattering about her day like usual#she falls asleep on his shoulder before they even leave town#her name is Willow#but he calls her so many endearing names#buggiebite#the hunger games#katniss everdeen#everlark#fanart#peeta mellark#thg#katniss everdeen fanart#district 12#katniss mellark#katniss and peeta#toastbaby girl#toastbaby
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you were raised in comparison.
it wasn't always obvious (well. except for the times that it was), but you internalized it young. you had to eat what you didn't like, other people are going hungry, and you should be grateful. you had to suck it up and walk on the twisted ankle, it wasn't broken, you were just being a baby. you were never actually suffering, people obviously had it worse than you did.
you had a roof over your head - imagine! with the way you behaved, with how you talked back to your parents? you're lucky they didn't kick you out on your ass. they had friends who had to deal with that. hell, you have friends who had to deal with that. and how dare you imply your father isn't there for you - just because he doesn't ever actually talk to you and just because he's completely emotionally checked out of your life doesn't mean you're not fucking lucky. think about your cousins, who don't even get to speak to their dad. so what if yours has a mean streak; is aggressive and rude. at least you have a father to be rude to you.
you really think you're hurting? you were raised in a home! you had access to clean water! you never so much as came close to experiencing a real problem. sure, okay. you have this "mental illness" thing, but teenagers are always depressed, right. it's a phase, you'll move on with your life.
what do you mean you feel burnt out at work. what do you mean you mean you never "formed healthy coping mechanisms?" we raised you better than that. you were supposed to just shoulder through things. to hold yourself to high expectations. "burning out" is for people with real jobs and real stress. burnout is for people who have sick kids and people who have high-paying jobs and people who are actually experiencing something difficult. recently you almost cried because you couldn't find your fucking car keys. you just have lost your sense of gratitude, and honestly, we're kind of hurt. we tell you we love you, isn't that enough? if you want us to stick around, you need to be better about proving it. you need to shut up about how your mental health is ruined.
it could be worse! what if you were actually experiencing executive dysfunction. if you were really actually sick, would you even be able to look at things on the internet about it? you just spend too much time on webMD. you just like to freak yourself out and feel like you belong to something. you just like playing the victim. this is always how you have been - you've always been so fucking dramatic. you have no idea how good you have it - you're too fucking sensitive.
you were like, maybe too good of a kid. unwilling to make a real fuss. and the whole time - the little points, the little validations - they went unnoticed. it isn't that you were looking for love, specifically - more like you'd just wanted any one person to actually listen. that was all you'd really need. you just needed to be witnessed. it wasn't that you couldn't withstand the burden, but you did want to know that anyone was watching. these days, you are so accustomed to the idea of comparison - you don't even think you belong in your own communities. someone always fits better than you do. you're always the outlier. they made these places safe, and then you go in, and you are just not... quite the same way that would actually-fit.
you watch the little white ocean of your numbness lap at your ankles. the tide has been coming in for a while, you need to do something about it. what you want to do is take a nap. what you want to do is develop some kind of time machine - it's not like you want your life to stop, not completely, but it would really nice if you could just get everything to freeze, just for a little while, just until you're finished resting. but at least you're not the worst you've been. at least you have anything. you're so fucking lucky. do you have any concept of the amount of global suffering?
a little ant dies at the side of your kitchen sink. you look at its strange chitinous body and think - if you could just somehow convince yourself it is enough, it will finally be enough and you can be happy. no changes will have to be made. you just need to remember what you could lose. what is still precious to you.
you can't stop staring at the ant. you could be an ant instead of a person, that is how lucky you are. it's just - you didn't know the name of the ant, did you. it's just - ants spend their whole life working, and never complain. never pull the car over to weep.
it's just - when it died, it curled up into a tight little ball.
something kind of uncomfortable: you do that when you sleep.
#writeblr#warm up#my dad was actively doing bad shit to us and we STILL were told we were lucky . and to a point i do think im lucky#i just think also there's somethin to be said about like. how about we stop using comparison to dismiss ppls individual struggles#yes there are people who have no perspective. for the reference tho having perspective actually made me really unwilling to get help#for what was a serious and debilitating mental health issue. bc i thought i didnt DESERVE IT#and i would rather have 600 ppl who aren't THAT bad get help and get heard and get seen#than make any 1 kid. do the math that i did: look at the world that is dying and the people who are hurting and say#''oh. okay. others have it worse. they are probably better people than i am. i am being unreasonable. i cannot ask for help#i am not good. i am taking too much space. i am not worth saving.''#bc our WHOLE lives we are taught a scarcity mindset - that you can 'steal' from someone. so that instead of changing a system that doesn't#actually offer fair support to everyone#we put the impetus on the individual to just... demand less.#and here's something - there are probably ppl who think i DIDNT deserve to get help#bc i DID have it better than other people#and something about that is ... so sickening. bc i think all of us in some way at some point WILL need help.#we were supposed to make communities. we were supposed to offer our hands. we were supposed to raise the barn#instead we said: it could be worse. now handle it yourself
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Re: the lack of demand for wool thanks to propaganda causing more waste; my parents live part-time in a small village in Ireland that is about half populated by sheep farmers. ALL those farmers have had to pivot away from wool production to mutton production, because they can't survive off selling the wool anymore. So now they are killing exponentially more sheep than they were killing before, since. You know. You don't have to kill the sheep to harvest the wool!
God, this is incredibly sad
all that wool that could become, not just winter/cold-weather fabric, but summer-weight wool that's excellent for temperature regulation!
and of course, the irony of killing more sheep because P*TA told you the non-lethal sheep product was evil
#ask#anon#wool#textiles#dress yourself in plastic kids!!! for the environment!!! as long as it didn't come from an animal it's eco-friendly!!!#and better for the animals in the long run!!!#don't think too hard about who the dominance of synthetic fabrics in modern clothing hurts and who it helps!!!!#don't use clothes to regulate your body temperature- buy more devices for that!#don't use materials that can be repaired; that doesn't put money in fast fashion CEOs' pockets! I MEAN WHAT#WHO SAID THAT? NOBODY SAID THAT; IGNORE THAT
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TOMMY: The war is done! Shut the door on it like I did.
#peaky blinders#peakyblindersgifs#tv#tvedit#hehe#the fascinating thing here is that arthur does show restraint and that he can control himself: he very much doesn't try to throttle tommy#even if he could have easily grabbed him fully round the throat and then lets go as well. it's not so much that tommy actively fights him#which makes the question whether or not he had control over killing that kid (or beating these other young men up) all the more dubious and#unsettling#but then again it's self-evident because he was seeking them out; he could have sparred with men of his own size/age/experience#if control was such an issue and he just wanted to have an outlet for his anger while not wanting to cause too much harm#he may not have wanted to kill the boy but he definitely wanted to hurt someone who couldn't defend himself#which is definitely painfully reminiscent of what happened with their father and arthur's lack of defense then and humiliation at his hands#it's not quite that arthur is a carbon copy of his dad but he tries to emulate him#there's a sympathetic layer here in that he can't grow past this hurt little boy he used to be and puts on this mask. but when does the#mask become the man and he has a body count by now and the question of accountability has to be raised at some point#& note that at the beginning of the scene tommy tells arthur that the boy had a weak heart#tommy's role here is not one of cruel and abusive enabler but one who navigates harm and tries to absolve arthur of his own guilt#while actually being understandably angry over all this#the way *this* entire scene and what leads up to it is misunderstood is very symptomatic in how their dynamic is generally read in a way#that is ... just not true#and very unfairly places tommy in a role of caretaker/parent to arthur's eternal irresponsible child#but arthur isn't a child; that's the problem
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Hey. The Finders have no idea that Bonzle was captured. Fritz and Spitz are still waiting, playing video games in the Monastery, for Cole to bring their sister out of hiding now that the blood moon is over. Geo is still sitting by the window, watching and waiting for a dragon on the horizon to return his kid safe and sound. Cole took a very unsure Bonzle, assured them all everything would be okay, and they'd be back soon. He promised he'd find a way to protect her.
Don't think about how they'll smile when Cole finally trudges back, happy to know he's okay. Especially don't think about the Finders stopping, looking out over the group, and how Cole can't look them in the eyes when they turn to him and ask; where's Bonzle?
#ninjago#ninjago dragons rising#lego ninjago#dragons rising#bonzle#finders#cole#cole brookstone#geo#fritz#spitz#text post#angst#talk#LISTEN TO ME#COLE LOST 2 WHOLE FAMILY MEMBERS DURING THAT BLOOD MOON#HES GOING TO NOT BE OKAY!!!!!!! HES DOING SO BAD#mans is a FATHER and he PROMISED he'd keep his kid safe. he promised it to the OTHERS#and hes going to have to walk back up those steps and admit to being a LIAR and a FAILURE#hes not obviously sht just went sideways but you KNOW he blames himself#geo very worriedly stayed behind w fritz & spitz FULLY TRUSTING that cole would keep bonzle safe & bring her back#he loves him so much (in a gay way. u know it to be true) so he trusts him IMPLICITLY to keep them safe. hes done it before#can you imagine the HORROR when cole comes back and hes...alone. with no one else but the other ninja (minus 1)#geo realizing what happened before the kids. the way everything just freezes and drops. cole curled so tight in on himself#and cole cant say hes sorry because he cant even look at them. he lost family hes had for over a decade & a kid he claimed his own for year#you saw how he was w child wu. you saw how desperate he was to keep bonzle safe. AND KAI IS GONE TOO???#homeboy is having the literal worst day ever. imagine him trying to tuck fritz & spitz close while on one knee trying to explain it all#and bro jsut feels like hes literally the worst person in the world#something something 'you dont get to stay with the ninja & be happy. i tried to protect you from what hurt me as a kid'#'and instead your right in the thick of it'
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