#keep it in the back of your mind

[thatsbelievable]

[bellaciao-ciao-ciao]

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Lap Pillow

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[fieldsofbone]

I always felt I deserved more. So I went to sea, aged 12, and I began to build myself a great, gilded life that didn't humiliate me to live. So all of those stories that you would have my biographer tally as courage... it's all vanity. Always has been. And we are at the end of vanity.

Then you are free.

[guardianspirits13]

Bouncing off all of the fanfics where the Dead Boys are brought back to life again for a period of time to suggest that their thoughts on it are the opposite of what you’d anticipate based on their perception of the living while they’re ghosts. Charles sorely misses living while a ghost, despite all the awful, awful things he was subjected to. Edwin, despite 70+ years in Hell, is perfectly content as a ghost and finds the living distasteful to a degree.

But, when they get hit by an “aliving” spell, that’s not how it goes down at all.

Edwin has not been in a human body for over a century- and even then only got sixteen years of it- so he forgets how much he was missing as a ghost. Actually being able to feel things- the warmth of human touch, the breeze through his hair, the texture of worn book pages. The smell of petrichor after rain, a warm cup of sweet tea. Even just sleeping and having the ability to give his overactive mind a break. He’s forgotten how many good things there were about being alive.

Charles, as expected, is thrilled to be alive again and his first few days on solid ground are a whirlwind, but his energy is short lived. He frequently sleeps over 12 hours a night, and can’t bring himself to get out from under the covers for another hour longer. His appetite fades quickly, and he finds that foods he’s been craving for 35 years just don’t taste the same. Initially he chalks it up to his mind and body readjusting to human life (despite Edwin having none of the same issues), and continues enjoying what he can. But eventually, it becomes clear that something is very very wrong. His right arm that he shattered at age 14 (and didn’t get properly treated for days) begins to ache again. Sudden touches are no longer a gentle spectral sensation, but an unexpected pressure that he shrinks away from. His body feels heavy, and his energy drains quickly if he has any to begin with.

It turns out that over three decades of repressed physical and emotional trauma took its toll on him, and he had naïvely forgotten-or perhaps willfully omitted- the struggle that was his life when he wasn’t out kissing girls and pretending like his father didn’t exist.

Edwin feels a sense of freedom in being human again, away from all the supernatural trauma he has endured, while for Charles it is more of a burden than he ever recalled it being.

[nickythehickey]

a list of disability representation in the sfthverse (updated/corrected version)

that's right, i'm not done with this yet. bc it still needed improvements, and what better time than now?

im making this version its own post instead of a reblog so that it's all more cohesive and condensed together, and so it's easier to read everything in one place

also, the greatest and sincerest massive thanks to everyone who contributed their suggestions/corrections on the original list (sorry for tagging if that's annoying): @spacedustmantis, @sosbanfach64, @obsidian-sys, @very-confused-alpaca, @fairy-princette, @sw33t-transv3stit3, @ethernitty, @bewilderednobody, @doodle-ratz, @apolloisbored, @local-human-disaster, @dereks-unrelenting-heart, @older-than-the-devil, @y-a-w-p, @radio-and-the-dirt, and @dorydotcom. you all really are very helpful, and i really appreciate the support. this is something i had decided to do on a whim but pretty quickly realized it was important at least to me, so im glad to see it means so much to others too

*for the purposes of the list, "disability" includes physical/mental/developmental disabilities, neurodivergence, chronic illnesses, and mental health conditions

*i still easily could've missed some. i also can't get the patreon rn so there's no patreon exclusive characters. if you know of any more feel free to reply and i'll look into adding them!

canon (either explicit or heavily implied)

bubba (inside the mysterious cube) is stated to be an amputee with prosthetic legs

peter steven (the milkman) is stated to have adhd. since adhd has a large genetic component, that implies that one or both of his parents likely also has it- my money's on david, since peter seems to mostly take after him. peter and david also both have glasses (i think? i’ve seen people say so but if that came up in the longform i didn’t pick up on it)

post mortem, L (the creak in the attic) is mute and uses mime/sign language and possession as forms of aac. he also has an unexplained voice in his head

donnie (the detective vs. the christmas tree bandits) is explicitly stated to have adhd and an unspecified seizure disorder (@/obsidian-sys suggested functional neurological disorder and psychogenic non-epileptic seizures, which is what im choosing to go with). "i was never good with numbers" could be interpreted as dyscalculia as well. frankie may also have adhd, bc again genetics

chip (the cardboard stegosaurus) has an unspecified seizure disorder, and while she isn't present, we learn that his mother marie-claire was suicidal

amanda (clarissa's diy wedding) is all but confirmed to have prosopagnosia, or face blindness

according to divorces and teddy bears, the entire north pole elf population has adhd. congrats on the diagnosis luke i mean snowdrop

that one gas station man (the pilot's final flight) and bill hannigan's father (death for a dollar) are both blind

mrs jeffery (the milkman) was blind at the beginning of the scene. they ended up not going with that, but she probably does still have poor vision. she also has a bad hip, the nature of which is never fully elaborated on, so it can be interpreted as a range of physical disabilities

the bartender (the hare who wore a sweater) slut dropped so hard his knees exploded. im not sure what to count this as tbh, but as a person with vague undiagnosed joint fuckery myself, he makes the list regardless

julian (the phantom of hornchurch) is dyslexic

mother xavier (the leftenmost window) has chronic migraines

john hobson sr (the creak in the attic), sam (beetroots and murder), henry (green leaves on a summer's day), and noblin (the bard with a scar) all likely have some degree of ptsd. there's also some implication that beetroot sam has auditory hallucinations

mark (clarissa's diy wedding) for sure has cptsd. very show don't tell, this one is (which is probably why i missed it first time around)

tobias's granddad (wine under the bridge) has very poor vision and, based on body language, appears to use a walker, suggesting mobility issues

sherlock (mystery of the midnight circus & the final baker of baker street) uses a cane. he also appears to have some form of dementia in midnight circus

jericho (no! i always loved that caravan) has an unspecified(? not personally knowledgeable enough to know if there’s a specific one) speech impediment

the pianist (death for a dollar) is missing fingers

mama twilliger (green leaves on a summer's day) has a glass eye

the keeper of the oil (the lighthouse) has back problems. pretty severe back problems too based on luke practically standing sideways to portray it

pinnochio (the grape depression). also should be here but idk what to call whatever his deal is. he's just generally fragile and weak

the-middle-child-maybe-named-johnny (oh no it's a door) has a stutter (i said no patreon, but @/bewilderednobody told me about it, so i might as well include it)

madame petrova (ballet on the battlefield) had an accident that left her with limited mobility, prompting her switch from performing to teaching

inspector whitstable (the haunted diary entry) uses a cane

the thomases (the enigma of the high visionary) are probably autistic. i do not like the use of functioning labels, but i genuinely don't know how else we're supposed to interpret "high functioning boy/dad"

im gonna be bold and move johnny and janae (the neighbor's under the bed) being autistic from headcanon to canon. it just makes too much textual sense. adding that janae is the textbook example of savant syndrome and that johnny all but explicitly has a developmental disorder

headcanons (still implied like at least a little bit but mostly up to interpretation)

*(this section is messy, it's more me sensing vibes than anything else, there's almost definitely some projection in there, honestly you can disregard it if you want. spoilers it's mostly autism bc that's me)

alan (the bard with a scar) says that he can't run fast, maybe implying mobility issues? i like to think so

jimmy (toby's secret pocket) and jeffery (party quirks) are both autistic to me. jeffrey specifically bc he reminds me immensely of how i felt and acted the first and only time i threw a party. jimmy’s trouble with doors could also be seen as him having dyspraxia, which is frequently comorbid w/ autism

titch (the unrelenting aubergine) is practically a poster child for alexithymia and autistic gifted kid burnout (also after being repeatedly told this i took an alexithymia test for myself and learned there's a very strong possibility i have it too. neat). while we're at it derek has some vibes too, but not as strongly

someone in the comments of ballet on the battlefield pointed out alexa stimming after she befriends janusz and i love that so im saying she's some flavor of neurodivergent

alfred ("why did you eat that" flurry) is potentially autistic, that man is so deeply blind to social cues. just like me fr

wine under the bridge in general can be read as a disability allegory if you wanted to, but im unsure if there's anything texually there

because of the way i visualize character designs for sfth, pretty much any character luke played while wearing glasses (like andrew (all eyes on nigel) or fullset o'hands) also wears glasses. im not gonna list them all bc frankly i don't know them all, just know they're included

i like feels like too positive of a word take interest in the idea of annabelle (priscilla's final petal) possibly having postpartum psychosis, causing her violent behavior and ultimately her death

aj's don juan (the merengue haberdashery) seems to potentially have narcolepsy or another sleep disorder? he falls asleep without warning a lot

it's unclear how much of acd watson carries over to watsam (midnight circus/final baker), but acd watson is heavily implied to have ptsd from military service, as well as chronic pain and mobility issues from a traumatic leg injury

i can't imagine john jacob (the off-season) getting shot wouldn't cause some long term problems, both physical and psychological

in the beginning of toby’s secret pocket, toby asks don ciciccio if he’s blind and the don never answers. shrodinger’s visual impairment

corrections (some small patch notes of sorts to directly address things the original list got wrong, for the sake of transparency and to clear up potential misinformation)

in the first update to the list, i suggested that midnight circus watson could have psychosis or a dissociative disorder. this was false, as there is no solid evidence to support it

i accidentally swapped alan and frankie's names when covering tbwas

originally, i said that johnny and janae are like the extreme incarnation of the thing that often happens to autistic people (myself included) where when you're a young kid people think you're mature for your age but then once you're older people think you're immature. i just want to clarify that when i say that, i mean from like a narrative foil perspective, not necessarily in reference to them as people. bc as people that's not how that works

i erroneously claimed that the specific mention of flashing lights in the strip club likely indicates donnie having photosensitive epilepsy. this was not necessarily true

(7/11) added don ciciccio’s potential visual impairment that may or may not have stayed part of his character, i genuinely can’t tell

[erinwantstowrite]

you know what's so funny about chapter 18? Peter's motivation for beating Loki's ass. it's pretty much entirely for Thor at this point, right? because he saw what he did to Thor and knows how important this is for him. and Peter's mainly thinking "Well, sometimes I get a little insecure, but at the end of the day I am aware of what I made Spider-Man for, and so are the Avengers. so I'm a little ticked off that they didn't tell me everything about Loki but I'm sure it was for a good reason and they were keeping in mind that I've never really wanted to do some of the world saving that they do."

and then he finds out why they didn't tell him about Loki and he's like "okay actually i am mad now" (which yes this is part of the reason they didn't tell him, but there's another bigger reason that will outshine this reason)

[ganondoodle]

since tumblr always has to suffer my personal vents and breakdowns and rants and annoyances you get the most wips and pics of unfinished stuff, im sure that makes up for it

the (unfinished) shiekah arm concepts that made me want to explode and i dont think im gonna work on again

[fatedroses]

Tallphinaud, and him being the elezen brand of lanky muscular that is just misguiding enough to fool enemies into thinking that he can't judo throw someone bigger than him (zenos) with ease.

[turtleblogatlast]

Something I really like is that April’s constant stream of odd jobs she goes through is somewhat reflected in the boys as well. Like, you have April working at random pizza places or getting a crane license or being fully willing to apply for a job at a place clearly made out of cardboard. Then you have the boys as well who do anything from working as a basketball mascot, building a massive dog park, being waiters, getting a whole band gig at a theme park, etc, etc-

Main difference is that April actively applies for these jobs (and is hopefully paid for the short time she’s in them) whereas for the bros the jobs usually find them (and they practically never get paid.) It doesn’t even stop at jobs either, they just seem to casually amass skills in general.

I don’t know, I like how both April and the turtles are just so ready and willing to do things. Sure, they’re not always good at these things, but they do them readily! In a way, being heroes is just another job (well, more like volunteer work/vigilantism/another fun activity) that they initially took on because of their general sense of “why not?”

They’re very willing and open to trying out new things despite their tendency to revert back to what they enjoy (and how commonly trying new things ends up going wrong), and I think that adaptational interest of theirs really helps them be well rounded in multiple regards.

[cutemothman]

The X-Files 1.13 "Beyond The Sea"

[dawnthefluffyduck]

Sunday doodles, design is ER!ralsei from @lynxgriffin 's Eldritchrune AU (hope the tag is okay!)

[crystalpallette]

quest is not beating the big sticks and wings allegations

[ahollowgrave]

none has been mostly restored !! still tweaking their outfits and their 'makeup' but i missed them. now there are two sad, wet creatures in the rotation.

[anxiouslowercase]

sas rh: let eoin survive the fall au » what the gazelles dragged in

"Look what the gazelles dragged in!" calls someone, quite possibly Dave, looking to the side and interrupting the French cheers of victory. The rest of them turn just in time to see one Eoin McGonigal climb out the jeep. "Can't leave you fellas alone for a couple of days without you lot letting the siege of Orléans fall?" Eoin jokes as he leans against the vehicle, because of course he'd mention such thing, unpromted. It gets Augustin grinning, somehow wider than he already was, and he takes a step forward. "Well, monsieur McGonigal, there's always room for the Irish exiles within French--" "Like hell is Eoin gonna join you bunch of pretentious fuckers," interrupts Paddy right away, as it should've been expected, while getting up and promptly making his way towards Eoin, who really hasn't stopped beaming. "Get someone else not to get fucked in the rematch."

or - Eoin finally comes back to camp after getting injured during a raid.

[necrotic-nephilim]

jealousy really is the driving force of DamiTim as a ship. love that for them. love how Tim has the Robin mantle ripped away from him and he has to suffer the jealousy of watching Dick and Damian bond. how possessive over Dick Tim can be, to have him stolen by Dick.

even more so though, is the jealousy from Damian. how on earth do you cope when you finally get to be Robin, a role you've convinced is your birthright, and no one really likes you? every prefers the Robin who came before you? Dick regularly reminds you that he can always go and call Tim back when you act out? like the complex Damian has over Tim is unreal. Tim, who was born with a silver spoon in his mouth and had everything handed to him his whole life. he never had to struggle or fight for his place like Damian did. Damian has spent his whole life fighting and proving himself, and yet he can't ever seem to truly claw the mantle of Robin away from Tim. even when Tim lets it go, becomes Red Robin, they seem to share it. Tim can slip back into the role of Robin whenever someone like Dick or Bruce need him to, because *he's* the Robin who they need. he's the Robin who was able to find Bruce. he's the Robin that Ra's wants an heir out of. he's the Robin who even Jason respects. in Damian's eyes, everything Damian has fought tooth and nail for, was handed to Tim.

so of course he's going to react to Tim with violence and aggression, especially after finding out Tim has contingency plans for him. no matter how much Damian proves himself, he's never going to be enough, especially not to Tim. and so his deep refusal to see Tim as family, to acknowledge Tim's legacy is all driven by such an angry jealousy. Tim understands aspects of Bruce's legacy that Damian doesn't, like the need to sweet talk and play nice with the elites of Gotham, even if they're corrupt. they exemplify different aspects of Robin, and the aspects that Tim exemplifies are the aspects that Damian knows he'll never fully understand and therefore holds such a deep contempt for. he wants to fight criminals, not play nice with politicians. Tim understands the side of Gotham that's utterly foreign to Damian. if anything, he represents that side of Gotham, to Damian. a pretty little rich boy who's nothing but a know-it-all and not a real son of Bruce. he can't be a Wayne. he can't be Damian's family.

and all of that angry jealousy leading to unhealthy obsession turned a weird, angry crush from Damian is just my bread and butter. that is how DamiTim should be. to me. Damian obsessed over hating Tim Drake so much he accidentally ends up sort of in love with him and that only makes Damian angrier. because he can't prove everyone right by *also* liking Tim. he can't let Ra's win like that, because frankly why wouldn't Ra's be delighted by Damian and Tim getting together. and it builds and builds with angry passive aggression towards Tim that culminates in angry hate-fucking-that's-not-just-driven-by-hate. love and hate are always viewed as opposites in shipping and i think they're the same intense passion just in different directions. and for the best ships, they're very intertwined. what is DamiTim is not the peak of that. "i put so much of myself into hating you i had no choice but to fall in love with you somewhere along the way" core. love that bleeds into hate and hate that bleeds into love. "you make me so angry i regularly passively try to kill you but not with any real effort because who would i obsess over if you were actually gone" core. murder attempts as a form of courting. contingency plans to take each other out as a love language. they're unwell.