#kawala

[caralara]

Hi!!! You went to the PinkPop Festival? How was it? I love reading fan experiences of Louis' shows (if you want to share of course if you don't ignore my ask).

Hiiii! Yes I did!!

So I have to say after the first day I absolutely hated everything and wanted to go home, and never wanted to do another festival again 😭

Our parking lot was cancelled the evening before we drove all the way to the Netherlands, the car rental didn’t have our car so we had to choose between a fiat 500 and an electric car to get us four plus camping equipment there - so I drove 9 hours, we arrived past midnight, had to set up the tent in the rain past midnight and I had to walk 45 minutes with my stuff after parking the car SOMEWHERE.

It rained the entire first day, but we wanted to go see Kawala because I had seen them open for Giant Rooks in Stockholm and Prague and they were lots of fun! Even though they were on first. I also met them on the festival grounds!! They’re really sweet, well, Daniel and Ben are, the main singer isn’t really my vibe tbh haha.

Then I went to go see Yungblud and DAMN! What a great show!! The energy is amazing, his voice and show is amazing, he came down to the barricade to sing with the fans and after the show he came back again and took time to take photos and talk to the fans. I was really impressed and started listening to more than just the one song I knew!

After I went back to the tent because I was utterly exhausted and completely freezing in the rain. Everything was muddy and our tents and sleeping bags were wet bc they couldn’t withstand all that rain. It was so disgusting. I was sad that I missed Måneskin and Avril Lavigne, but I was physically not able anymore.

Next day we didn’t manage to get to the entrance as early as we wanted to so the gates were already opened and we went straight to Louis’ stage, we slowly managed to get to the third row with people leaving after the sets, which was great.

First act was Joost Klein, and the vibe was so cool bc he had so much fun, it was completely crazy and the Dutch went NUTS! I actually enjoyed the Beatles cover band after him, but my friend fainted so I had to get out and stayed with her a bit at the medics centre before going back in. I didn’t enjoy Froukje so much to be honest, but it was the last act before louis!!

So I celebrated my birthday that weekend and when louis came on stage— the pit was PACKED and the crowd was sooo loud and all the non fans were so shocked the audience was so engaged at 6 pm haha! He looked incredible, and it was so fun to see him perform during the light of the day!! Steve didn’t even have a top on when they came out and that was awesome.

I had a bit of space and very small people in front of me so right at the beginning louis made eye contact with me and I gassed him up and he pointed back at me in a similar manner and it felt so special to get to interact with him again, it’s been a long six months without him 🥲

He was very focused on getting the singing right and tbh I think this was definitely one of his better shows when it comes to the singing haha, but it did make him a bit held back and stiff.

And although I understand that he chose to sing three 1D songs bc that’s what non-fans would recognise and be more inclined to look him up, I would’ve personally preferred tk her more of his solo stuff. The intros and arrangements have been changed a bit from when I saw him late last year, so it took a little while to actually believe it that he chose to sing 7 lmao, I was so “no it can’t be??” That I didn’t recognise it properly. During the teenage wasteland interlude he was going nuts again and he liked that, nodding to me hehe.

I also thought he wouldn’t come down to barricade, but he did although it was an awfully long way!! And then he was just gone and it felt like something had happened? And everyone was confused and no one applauded or cheered bc it was so confusing that suddenly he wasn’t there anymore.

After that I was super exhausted but happy!

We went to see Nothing But Thieves after and OH MY GOD I fell in love immediately and have been obsessively listening to their songs and I’m so glad I saw them life!! Conor looked soooo cool and comfortable on stage and with the crowd, we were seriously impressed.

Calvin Harris had a big nostalgia factor in it for me for my clubbing days in the 2010s 🥲 but it was a bit boring besides that bc he literally just DJs.

The last day was another early start for Sea Girls, I didn’t listen to them much bc I skipped the London show where they opened for louis last tour, but they were a lot of fun! And I’ve been listening to some of their songs as well.

After I went to see The K’s, they were charming but had some tech problems, and surprise! Andrew Cushin’s sound tech also did their sound! So we missed meeting him for a beer but he let us know that The K’s had a gig in my hometown the next day so I promised I’d try driving back super quickly to make it in time for their gig (I did lol and went for Kebap with them as well and tbh the front singer is a bit of a dick, but the guitarist was really sweet!).

We only half listened to Loreen which wasn’t really my thing and to James Arthur, who is super pretty? And had a great voice but I was so exhausted and frankly needed some alone time.

And then honestly the grand finale.

Hozier came on stage and maybe it’s something about the tonality of his voice with the way his guitar sounds? But it went straight into the back of my skull, down my spine and turning into violent goosebumps. I basically cried through his entire set but not bc I wasn’t feeling well or was sad I was just so emotionally overwhelmed by how physical and spiritual I felt his music right there live. It really was such a treat hearing him, and he seems sooo gentle and he’s sooo tall, and he brought out Ed Sheeran for Work Song which was crazy! The tears just wouldn’t stop coming.

And then Ed Sheeran was also insane. I was already still sort of one bump from being back to crying and he just was on stage alone?? Just him his guitar and his looper??? I was SO impressed. And he was very emotional, too. But calm. And I just cried about everything again, the songs, what he said about his wife, then little seven-ish year old boy so happy to be there and on his dad’s shoulders to see Ed, the friendship groups that held each other and the couples that enjoyed it together. It was a really beautiful experience and I felt so fucking grateful for the fact that I can enjoy music so haptically, that I get to have the ability to feel it SO deeply and that live music is gorgeous.

Thank you for asking lovely! I’m sure you just wanted to know about louis, but I really wanted to talk about all the acts I saw at Pinkpop!

[poesiecritique]

Les nomades du fer, Eleanor Arnason, Argyll, 2023 (1991), trad. Patrick Dechesne

C'est une longue fresque, une longue épopée, 568p. ou 586p, traduit de l'anglais et du temps, première publication en 1991, première traduction en français par Patrick Dechesne publiée en 2023, par ou pour ou depuis les éditions Argyll, qui bossent, on peut pas dire, depuis trois ans, ça bosse.

Au dos, une petite phrase de Jo Walton, connaissez-vous Jo Walton ?, c'est une autre autrice de science-fiction, je n'ai pas tout lu, mais j'aime beaucoup, j'ai commencé par Mes vrais enfants, un trouble de la cognition, elle dit "confuse", un trouble venant à un âge certain, la question de l'âge est si peu traitée dans les récits de science-fiction, ça n'est pas tout à fait vrai, mais c'est plus généralement pour dépasser le temps, le dompter, en sortir vainqueureuse. Bref, Jo Walton adoube Arnason, qui est aussi comparée à Ursula Le Guin.

Ursula Le Guin, je l'ai déjà écrit ailleurs, est un vieux compagnonnage. Ca date depuis plus de 20 ans, ce n'est pas dans l'effervescence actuelle que Le Guin, tout à côté de Mead, sont proches et fantomatiques. Je l'ai déjà dit aussi, ce qui m'intéresse tant chez Le Guin c'est la visée anthropologique de son œuvre. Elle invente des mondes aux règles sociales, aux philosophies, aux langages, aux religions différentes. Il n'est pas question de transposer les problèmes actuels dans un autre décor. C'est autre chose.

C'est aussi ce que fait Eleanor Arnason. Dans Les nomades du Fer, il y a plusieurs personnages principaux : Nia, une habitante d'une planète dont le nom est omis, et qui appartient au clan du Fer, duquel elle a été chassé ; il y a Li-sa, une ethnographe qui se place résolument du côté de l'ethnographie : elle arrive d'un autre monde ; comme Derek, un autre ethnographe (il y a en beaucoup d'autres, mais seul.e ces deux là parviennent à rester) ; il y a l'esprit de la cascade, un homme qui un oracle. Les chemins de ces quatre là vont se nouer, se tresser, d'abord les deux femmes, puis Derek, puis l'oracle. Une tresse à quatre brins pour aller vers le nord, vers le clan de Nia, un clan qui l'a chassée parce qu'elle était trop étrange.

Nia a vécu une histoire, une histoire d'amour, une histoire d'amour avec un homme et a eu deux enfants. C'est le fait étranger pour lequel Nia est chassée. Sur cette terre, les clans sont des clans de femmes, où sont aussi les enfants et les vieillard.es. Mais les hommes valides vivent seuls, dans les montagnes, ailleurs, peu importe, loin. L'amour n'est pas l'amour romantique, et ce sentiment, dans ce monde, dans ce livre n'est jamais le ressort dramatique qui permet que l'intrigue avance. Plus, il n'est jamais là. Cet amour qui chez nous toujours noue quelque chose n'existe pas. Ni plus, ni moins. Sauf pour Nia, et Eunshi. Je ne raconterai pas la suite de leur aventure, ce n'est pas la peine ici. C'est une histoire dans l'histoire, mais une petite histoire, finalement dans la grande épopée que ces deux extra-terrestres ethnographes, nous, et les deux habitant.es de la planète vivent.

Cette épopée, c'est le récit de l'arrivée de ces ethnographes, qui essaient de s'intégrer. Li-sa rencontre Nia, qui tête de mule, décide de partir du clan dans lequel elle habite, où elle a trouvé refuge, le clan du cuivre. Li-sa la suit. Puis Nia l'accompagne pour que Li-sa puisse rejoindre le lieu d'atterrissage de la fusée du Kollontaï (au passage, on apprécie le choix de ce nom de baptême bien féministe et bien marxiste). Puis Derek, puis l'oracle. Et plein de rencontres et d'aventures, qui permettent de saisir les enjeux civilisationnels, depuis un point de vue relativement ethnographique (mais plus que moins). Je ne veux pas non plus raconter cela, qui fait le sel du livre.

Dans cette approche ethnographique, l'attention ethnoliguistique m'a particulièrement touchée et, plus que la multiplicité des langues articulée à une langue commune, dite langue des cadeaux, partagée par tous les clans (qui jamais, ces clans, ne se font la guerre, elles ne connaissent pas, tout en connaissant les armes, et donner la mort), m'a particulièrement touchée l'attention aux gestes. Et encore, ce sont moins des gestes qui sont décrits que l'intention des gestes, des réponses. A tel point que, retrouvant les siens, Li-sa continue à employer ces gestes, qui font partie intégrante des langages de cette terre. Ces gestes permettent de dire les états d'âme, les affects. Vers la fin du livre, un geste humain du même genre est fait. Peut-être un couçi-couça de la main. Quelque chose de dérisoire, mais qui montre la potentialité de ce que pourrait être que de parler avec les mains. Cette approche me fait penser à quelque chose que Eleanor Arnason connaissait peut-être, Les rites d'interaction de Goffman. Eleanor a fait des études d'art vers Philadephie, Goffman c'est plutôt Chicago et la sociologie, quel passage de lui vers elle ?, je ne sais pas. Néanmoins pour Goffman, "le rite ne traduit pas la représentation religieuse de la société sous forme pratique, mais la représentation apparaît dans le cours d’une activité rituelle qui ne vise d’abord d’autre fin qu’elle-même." (Keck, 2004, https://philolarge.hypotheses.org/files/2017/09/01-12-2004_keck_Goffman.pdf) Et je considère, sans démontrer pourquoi, que le langage peut être considéré comme un rite, sans cesse renouvelé surtout s'il s'agit comme ici de dire l'affect, et plus précisément l'affect comme réaction à l'action que l'altérité a proposé. D'autant que ces gestes qui ponctuent s'accordent avec des phrases d'une grande simplicité qui permettent au présent, alors que tout est au passé - Eleanor Arnason écrit en 1991 ou avant, le présent direct, dans la sf, ça n'existe pas, je crois.

Une dernière dimension que je trouve intéressante, et peut être parce que je n'en suis pas spécialiste, c'est la réflexion très critique de l'approche marxiste de l'économie qui en dit tout en même temps ses potentialités. Le post-colonialisme est au cœur de cette réflexion. Cette dimension retend la dernière partie du voyage en laissant dans les mains de la lectrice une situation insatisfaisante, qui m'a plongée dans une suite de spéculations, et m'oblige à ne pas ferme le livre comme ça, juste comme ça, après un voyage civilisationnel dans un monde singulie décrit densément, au sens de Geertz (https://journals-openedition-org.ezproxy.campus-condorcet.fr/enquete/1443) dans un monde singulier.

[musicftmisfits]

KAWALA - Time Slipping Away

London-based five piece KAWALA have just released extravagant and energetic new single 'Time Slipping Away', it's an act of reassurance, a life boat to hold onto while times are tough.

London-based five piece KAWALA have just released extravagant and energetic new single ‘Time Slipping Away’, it’s an act of reassurance, a life boat to hold onto while times are tough. The track is a fun and funky, upbeat surf pop release driven by soft vocals singing about setbacks and how to look to the positive side of the coin. Its synth-driven intro is instantly catchy and pulls you out of…

[makapatag]

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Each of them will have NEW Disciplines, NEW Professions, Folk, a slew of new modular Rules and Mechanics, cultures and folkways, deep dives into their societies, and Oracles!

First will be the Rajanate of Gatusan zine, known as SPLIT THE SEAS AND SWALLOW THE SUN: a zine that expands on Gatusanon homelands, Mambabarangs, Professions, Folk, expanded Raiding Rules, Sea Battles, and Duels!

Then will be the Confederation zine, known as WALKERS OF THE THREE BILLION BLADES, expanding on Apumbukid cultures, Kamuton polities, Geomantic Horoscopes, the War For Harmony, Folk, Saint Shields, and rules for cultivating homes--Animal Crossing Stardew Valley style

THE MOON CLEAVING INTO THE EARTH will expand on the grand net of cultures of the Footsteps of the Gods, the clashing ideals of Agma Damlag, new Disciplines, Professions, warrior cultures, War Rules, Exorcists, Rituals, and grand Faction Rules!

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Finally, ONE THOUSAND ARMS TO GRASP THE WORLD will cover the grand kingdom: the various trading partners they have outside of the Sword Isles, alchemists, rules for crafting great artifices, Court Politics, Vocabularies, Merchant Routes, Astrologians, Sword Singers, and more!

That's just a taste of what we have upcoming. So if we you want a premium version of these products, with illustrious art and layout going above and beyond, help us reach our stretch goal!

[jungleindierock]

Rebjukebox 2024 - No 1

Here's my first playlist for 2024, it's not gonna be a monthly thing, just once i have 40 tracks i like, then i will share it. So could be one or two or even three in one month and other months maybe none, this is why it's numbered. I am already close to No 2 being finished, cover done, just need to cut down to 40 tracks from the 80+ tracks in the provisional draft playlist. So could share this next week!! These playlists are great way to find new bands and artists and saves us having to post each on sepearatly.

I used to do these just through Soundcloud, but thought i might as well add it to my Spotify also. So i will add two links to the playlist and can use which ever one you prefer.

If your a solo singer or a member of a band, then follow me on my Soundcloud page here, if i like your stuff, i will follow you back, if i don't follow back then sorry but your not my thing. Whatever style of music is fine, i like many stlyes and will take a listen. You should always trust your own ears with music.

You can only follow 2,000 people on Soundcloud, so am limited. But if am following you there, i can see when you share new music, which means you could be added to one of these playlists or the main JIR playlist (one per month). What style of music is fine, i like many and will take a listen.

Enjoy and share, stay free, see you soon with No 2!!

Reb

Ok the links for the playlist:- Soundcloud I Spotify

Tracklist

1 - Paramore - Burning Down the House (Talking Heads Cover) 2 - The Delta Shake - I’ll Be Your Man (Alternative Version) 3 - Anja Huwe - Rabenschwarz 4 - Fat Dog - All The Same 5 - Loupe - Tested Waters 6 - Wynona - Feeling For Edges 7 - Nothing Rhymes With Orange - Friday Is Over 8 - Shannon and the Clams - The Moon Is In The Wrong Place 9 - KAWALA - American Adrenaline 10 - overpass - Stay Up 11 - Camens - Cynical 12 - Cinders - Going Nowhere 13 - Linn Koch-Emmery - Ebay Armour 14 - Grace Petrie - Start Again 15 - Neon Dreams (Ft. Matthew Mole) - The Art of Letting Go 16 - This Rebel - Same Every Time 17 - The Holy - Any Given Day 18 - Soundwire - Shake The Fever (Radio Edit) 19 - The Snuts - Millionaires 20 - Neck Deep - Moody Weirdo 21 - Softcult - Heaven 22 - Lurve - Pesnya O Lyubvi 23 - BARSTAFF - Tracy Island (Radio Edit) 24 - Sasha Assad - Bad Nature 25 - Red Rum Club - Hole In My Home 26 - No Windows - Song 01 27 - Mourn - Could Be Friends 28 - Sunglaciers - Cursed 29 - POND - Neon River 30 - Slow Time Mondays - Don’t Threaten Me With A Good Time 31 - Jeen - So What 32 - stillcorners - The Dream 33 - The Marra - Masterpiece 34 - The Hubbards - Hiding & Reading 35 - The Cheap Thrills - Last Orders 36 - Aqualine - No Answer 37 - Torrey - Bounce 38 - Low Blows - Normal 39 - ParisBlue - Remedy 40 - Bombay Bicycle Club (ft. Lucy Rose) - Willow

[lyntherighteousleftist]

Yawa oi, nadamguhan nako si Chiro hahahhahhahah parehas baya mi nag take ug CS pero wa ko nisaba na nag take ko

Ang damgo nako kay about sa iyahang uyab, sige siyag papansin sa akoa ug sa dihang niduol siya nako, tapos nag ask ko if sila pa ba sa ilang uyab, ana siya "Ok man mi ni Bea, kaso selosa lang siya" hahahhahahhahaahaha unya nikalit rag kawala akong damgo kay nag alarm na akong selpon 😭😭😭

Di ko sure unsay konek sa amoang duha sa damgo nako if naa bay konek sa CS or sadyang nagkataon lang

[kwaderno84]

napaisip ko rin sa aking isipan na tumatanda na nga talaga ako.

wala na rin akong kawala pa roon.

ang sakuna sa sarili'y sadya na ring maninigil bilang kabayaran sa kalabisan natin o abuso sa panahon ng kabataan.

ang magtungo sa ospital ay hindi biro dahil sa may tawag ng daing sa aking katawan.

hangga't nasa tama pa ang ating gulang sa mundo, ugaliing pangalagaan ang sarili upang patuloy pa ring maabot ang mga hangarin at mataguyod pa natin ang mga umaasa sa atin na mabigyan ng magandang kinabukasan.

at hangga't maaari, agad nang tumungo sa mga dalubhasa kung may maramdaman man na hindi normal sa katawan at nang agad itong maagapan.

[mirrorball2am]

So I really want to make this account a cute safe corner of the internet for me. So I wanted to make an all about me post!

My name is Christina, I’m 26 I just graduated from college. I have been a major fan girl since I was middle school. I love music, tv shows and movies! I love to read ,play switch,And I love sleeping. I’m currently figuring out what I want to do post grad as well.

Here are some of the tv shows/movies and artists I like!

Taylor swift (Hence the user)

Sabrina carpenter

Chappell roan

Noah Kahn

Maddie zahm

Boy genius

Fall out boy

Renee rapp

Phoebe bridgers

Kawala

Conan gray

The last dinner party

Ethel Cain

Harry styles

Etc.

Tv shows and movies

Pretty little liars

Wanda vision

Degrassi

The fault in our stars

Heartbreak high

Modern family

Aquamarine

H20

Daisy jones and the six

And a lot more!

[skrillien]

a kawala

[ginnsbaker]

https://www.tumblr.com/ginnsbaker/753719092647690240/speaking-of-yearning-this-is-going-to-be-the-most?source=share

To Anon,

Bhie, that's not a dumb question. Ako nga tinatanong ko rin yan sa self ko everytime na naghahanap me ng bagong picture nya as locksreen wallpaper ko. Hahahahaha!

Pero i think we can all agree that in DSMOM and the entire press junket of it altered every lesbian brains!

I'm gonna share my story, I already noticed her in Endgame. But i was hyperfixating to Gentleman Jack, so it was just super short lived. But then WandaVision happened, i didn't watched it for her at first, but for KATHRYN HAHN instead. And her seeing in a black and white filtered comedy skit episode made me feel something like "Holy shit is she even real person?" . I had already browsed her interviews only. but then again, my hyperfixation for her last only for a month because I'm hyperfixating some actress that time (Aside from Kathryn Hanh)

Then DSMOM happened, and THIS video https://x.com/ECOlsenUpdates/status/1670519853742948355?t=XxOG5JeGyksGOrPhYiE-fA&s=19 that almost every moot of mine RT made me go back to her to the extend of listening to her *gulps* h--hu--husband 😣 music. And yeah, they were my Spotify top artist last 2022. PLUS, the Wanda x YN series on Tiktok that swarmed my fyp. Can't remember what video I started watching then i went to Ao3 for more fics like that, then Wattpad then on this app for 2 years now.

Nangungusap yung mata nya. Like i think that plus her button nose and sharp jawline makes her sex appeal oozing. Plus her laugh make me go all simp for her like a high school kid. She screams MILF and Baby girl the same time. That's one of the reasons why i like her. (That I've realized now, but there's still yet to discover kasi I yearn so hard for Elizabeth Olsen)

I saved the asks related to why sapphics are drawn to Wanda/Lizzie since they're long lol :P

Grabe, it took a lot of chances and "encounters" for her to draw you in, but when it happened... wala ka na kawala :P

"Nangungusap yung mata nya." -> this is the realest. I think her eyes alone can entrap you >.<

"She screams MILF and Baby girl the same time." -> oh my god yes!!!

I think after watching her interviews and the fact that she gives off introverted vibes is also part of the reasons that reeled me in :D

[sarcaasmic]

@lockwd liked for a song-based starter and got [Heavy in the Morning by KAWALA]

The house was quiet. It was a gloomy morning in Marylebone, evident in both the gray sky and in Ellie's lack of energy. A little before nine she made her way down to the kitchen of 35 Portland Row. Always a time that felt too early in the morning for the blonde, yet she couldn't sleep anyways. Holding the source had been her worst mistake yesterday, the dread and anger was something hard to shake off.

There'd been a case yesterday, one that turned out to be more dangerous than they had anticipated. A type two visitor when they'd been expecting a type one. They'd barely made it out. Plus, George was away visiting family this week, so their research wasn't nearly as thorough, and it showed. Lucy had been there last night, but Ellie was sure she heard the girl leave earlier this morning.

That left her and Lockwood.

She rubbed some sleep from her eyes as she walked into the kitchen. She'd hoped putting on her glasses would push away at least the physical fatigue. It did not. Just like brushing her teeth and splashing some water on her face had failed to do so too.

[poesiecritique]

Les hommes dénaturés, Nancy Kress, Paris, Flammarion, 2001 (1998), trad. J.-M. Chambon

Maximum Light, pour titre original. Comme sous les feux de la rampe. D'abord ceux de ballets, puis du scandale. Pourtant le scandale est dévoilé dès les premières pages : dans une cage aux barreaux si fins qu'ils laissent entièrement voir des singes dont les visages sont identiques, trois fois le même visage humain. Et puis ça explose. Trois fois le même visage, puis trois voix qui se tissent, l'une après l'autre, chapitre après l'autre, brin après l'autre, à la langue singulière pour traduire trois personnages, les trois personnages principaux : Nick Clementi, Cameron Atuli et Shana Walders. Respectivement une langue posée d'un vieux médecin habitué à la politique, une langue obsédée par la danse d'un danseur homosexuel, la langue gouailleuse et prolo d'une jeune soldate.

Le propos du livre est, à mes yeux, double.

La dystopie questionne, un peu comme Carola Dibbel dans The only Ones, les enjeux reproductifs de l'espèce humaine à l'aune d'une décroissance de la fertilité. Ici, celle des hommes davantage que celle des femmes, mais l'accent est surtout mis sur l'omniprésence de perturbateurs endocriniens dans l'environnement, conséquents de la surproduction pétrochimique. Les animaux sont régulièrement scrutés pour dire leurs malformations, tout autant que celles humaines, qui conduit à des fausses-couches ou à la naissance d'enfants dont les facultés cognitives sont altérées (manque de concentration, fragilité émotionnelle) dès la grossesse. A l'autre bout du spectre d'un monde sans enfants, il y a la description d'un monde de vieillards d'où les questions sociales ne sont pas absentes (ou plutôt, surtout présentes dans les premières pages du livre) : qui paye pour les retraites ?, qui touche encore une retraite ? Mais la question de la reproduction est aussi posée à travers les deux jeunes personnages : Cameron Atuli et Shana Walders. La position de Kress paraît un peu caricaturale et essentialiste quand elle figure Cameron qui, en résumant brutalement est pédé danseur classique ne voulant/"pouvant"pas avoir d'enfants (alors qu'un des enjeux du livre est la haute fertilité de son sperme). Mais, Kress me semble moins essentialiste quand elle dresse le personnage de Walders. La jeune femme ne veut pas d'enfants alors qu'elle est fertile ; elle est travailleuse du sexe à l'occasion, et ça ne l'embarrasse pas. La questionne davantage, cette jeune femme, sa place dans la société, à la croisée d'un désir transclasse et d'un désir qui, depuis notre société actuelle, se dégenre dans la mesure où son lieu de carrière, expliqué par sa socialisation primaire (son père militaire, etc.), est celui de l'armée.

L'autre pendant du livre est une enquête sur le scandale - Maximum Light. Sa mécanique est exposée dans l'intrigue que Kress noue autour du taire, à l'échelle des U.S.A., depuis une critique acerbe de l'investissement étatique dans la recherche, articulant son pendant académique et celui privé (à ce sujet, concernant la recherche française, on pourra lire le dossier intitulé Penser le capitalisme académique par la production de ses marges, coordonné par Natacha Chetcuti-Osorovitz & Cynthia Colmellere pour la revue SociologieS). Kress souligne le paradoxe du laissez-faire étatique sur les activités illégales financées par des ressources privées. Ainsi, l’État, des Hommes dénaturés, régule les lois éthiques de la recherche académique comme les financements qui y sont alloués, mais ces lois éthiques sont définies afin de ne pas remettre en question les implications écosystémiques des multinationales pétrochimiques dans la crise sanitaire. Pour décrire la strate officielle, les premières pages figurent un conseil où ne siègent que des personnes âgées. Puis, entre officiel et officieux, s'y greffe un rendez-vous entre Nick Clementi, le vieux médecin, et un politicien, du même âge. Mais la strate que décrit le plus Kress est bien celle officieuse, celle expérimentale et criminelle. Se développant par un manque d'espace officiel, de soutien académique et financier, et d_s lors hors-cadre éthique la régulant. Ainsi, il me semble moins ici que Kress travaille sur les possibles que la science offre, malgré les inventions que l'autrice produit (par exemple la vivifacture, permettant la création de ces singes à tête d'enfants) que sur le cadre sociologique de la production scientifique.

[whimsicalparadies]

Kamatayan 1

“Atleast nagawa ko lahat…” Alam kong hindi ito ang pinakamagandang entrada ng isang sulatin. Sulatin? Para kanino ko ba toh sinusulat? Kung laman lang naman ito ng aking pag-iisip, o aking tatawaging “agam-agam?” Di na ako magpapaligoy-ligoy pa, napasulat talaga ako dito buhat ng ako’y hingal na hingal na. Saan? Sa buhay. Kamatayan? Tunay nga bang ito ang solusyon sa lahat ng di kaaya-aya nating karamdaman habang tayo’y nabuhuhay? Kung gayon, ay bakit takot na takot tayo rito? Dahil ba’t ito ay misteryoso? Isang bagay na di natin lubusang mauunawaan hangga’t di natin nararanasan, at isang bagay na di na maihahalintulad sa iba kapag nadanas ng isa. Ngunit inilahad ni Oscar Wilde na, “Death must be so beautiful. To lie in the soft brown earth, with the grasses waving above one's head, and listen to silence. To have no yesterday, and no tomorrow. To forget time, to forget life, to be at peace.” Dahil dito, napaisip ako, ano ba ang mas kaaya-aya? Ano ba ang mas kakayanin ko? Saan ba ako mas liligaya? Ang pagharap sa bawat hamon na ibinabato sa akin ng buhay? Ang paghanap ng tinatawag nilang “fulfillment” sa tuwing may mga bagay kang nakakamtan? O ang humimlay ng payapa, walang iniisip, walang hinahabol na hininga, walang sinasabayang daloy ng panahon, at maging malayang bahagi ng sansinukob na nagbibigay liwanag at kahulugan sa lahat ng di ko na maisa-isa pa. Hayaan niyo muna akong mag-kwento pansamantala. Sa totoo lang, gumising lang talaga ako bigla na para bang masyado kong nararamdaman lahat ng bagay, dumoble lahat ng sakit, ng lungkot, ng galit, ng irita, alam kong may mga nararamdaman ako, ngunit ang pinaka-higit na dumoble sa akin ay ang “kawalan” o “emptiness” sa Ingles, na para bang sinampal ako ng kamanhidan, na sa sobrang manhid ay nakahahapdi sa bawat sandali ng aking paghinga, ng aking pag-iisip, pagkilos, at paggawa. Habang patagal nang patagal, ang mundo’y para bang kumukulimlim, sumisikip, bumibigat, at nakalulunod. Nakakawala na ng gana, wala na akong gana sa hapagkainan, wala na akong gana sa mga bagay na dati’y nakapag-bibigay kagalakan sa akin, wala na akong ganang lumabas, wala na akong ganang makaranas, wala na akong ganang kumilos, wala na akong ganang humarap sa kahit kanino, wala na akong ganang lumakbay, wala na akong gana, wala na akong gana. Lagi ng walang gana. Di ko alam saan nanggagaling toh, di ko mawari ano ba ang pinanghuhugutan ko, napakalabong kawalan at kalungkutan, ngunit ang tanging batid ko’y wala akong kawala sa sitwasyon kong ito. Kung mayroon, ito ay malabo, hindi ko matagpuan. Biruin mo yon, sarili kong isip tinatraydor ako. Binibigyan ako ng mga problemang hindi naman totoo, at hindi naman nangyayari. Binibigyan ako ng sakit, ng galit, ng suklam, at lahat-lahat ng mga bagay na ikinasusuka ng sistema ko. Paano ako hindi magagalit? Paano ako hindi magwawala? Paano ako hindi maiinggit sa mga taong hindi binabagyo ng kanilang saloobin!? Nakakatawang isipin na ang tanging pahinga at kalayaan ko lamang ay pagtulog, at sa mga sandali na walang laman ang aking isip, ako’y nakababalik sa reyalidad, sa mga panahong ako’y nakakalimot mag-isip. Habang ako’y nabubuhay at nag-iisip, alam kong patuloy kong mararamdaman ang kamanhirang nakahahapdi’t nakalulunod sa aking kaluluwa. Kaya sa kasalukuya’y aking nang nauunawaan, kung bakit kay raming yumakap sa kamatayan, sapagkat dito lang nila mararamdaman na sa wakas, nagkaroon na rin ako ng kontrol sa mga bagay-bagay, na sa wakas matatahimik na rin akong tunay, na walang akong nakaraan, kasalukuyan, at kinabukasan, na hindi ako binibilangan ng oras, na hindi ako hinahapo sa mga pangyayari’t isipan ko. Totoo nga na we suffer more in our imagination, than reality. Sa mga pagkakataon na tayo’y nalulumbay, at batid natin ang dahilan, mas nakakaya natin at natutuklasan ang tamang solusyon, ngunit sa mga pagkakataon na tayo’y namamanhid o nalulungkot na di natin malaman ang dahilan, ng di natin maunawaan ang pinanggalingan, na bunga lamang ng pag-imbento ng ating isip, at agam-agam, ay ang hirap palang makawala’t makaahon. O kamatayan, tulungan mo ako.

[umazane-muesli]

Jukebox January: Day 13

I don't feel very inspired to write today so the descriptions are pretty short, sorry (but the songs are still bangers, if I say so myself)

Day 13: Songs beginning with M

Maria - Blondie

This one was one of my favourite songs ever as a teenager, and still is :)

Mic Mac - Käärijä

One of my favourite Käärijä songs, both the lyrics and the music are so fun

Mon vieux - Daniel Guichard

No, I don't have daddy issues, I don't know what you're talking about

Morning Has Broken - Yusuf/Cat Stevens

I listened to a lot of Cat Stevens during my semester in Wales for some reason, so now this song reminds me of trying to write essays sitting in The Good Chair in the library (yes I promise you that library had one chair that was better than the others)(I hope it's still there)

La morale - Orelsan

Shout out to 16 year old me who thought maybe I was going to get into rap lmao. I learned the lyrics of this song while bored out of my mind at my first summer job (just relistened to it and I do not remember them lol)

Marbles - The Amazing Devil

Do you want to cry about love? Go listen to that song

Mr. Tambourine Man - Bob Dylan

I guess today I'm more in the mood for nice chill songs, this one was in my "falling asleep" rotation for a while

My Life as a Duck - Charlie Winston

Back when I was 13 or whenever it was that I discovered this song I thought my tenuous grasp on the English language was to blame, but no, I still have no idea what he's on about. I still think it's one of my favourites on the album though. Sometimes making sense is optional

Make Out - Julia Nunes

Shout out to younger me having a Moment watching this music video for the first time lol godbless women

Milord - Edith Piaf

Sometimes I love songs that tell a story, this one is very sweet and old-timey, and I love the alternance between the sad verses and the more upbeat chorus.

Marathon - KAWALA

Songs that will make you boogie randomly when you're literally just doing the dishes or something

And a short list of bonus ones for today:

- Make Me Feel - Janelle Monáe

- Myopia - Agnes Obel

- Malamente - ROSALÍA

- Man on Mars - Pegasus

[archertofus]

clouds ☁️ unang salaysay

sa apat na taong pamamalagi ni zhang hao ft. ang kanyang mga pagka-cute cute na mga pinsan (sobrang cute gusto niyang tirisin) sa paaralang ito ay kabisadong kabisado na siya ng mga kaibigan nya.

matthew and taerae have been his friends since 9th grade. well, they're not exactly this close noon because transferee lang naman si zhang hao sa institusyong 'to dati. maging si matthew. so kumbaga, taerae already had his own established circle of friends nang tumungtong siya dito tapos sila ni matthew ay ang mga bagong salta.

at syempre sino sino pa nga bang magtutulungan kundi sila sila lang na mga hamak na transferees hindi ba?

so, matthew had him figured out like the back of his hand for 2 years and when senior high school came, doon na pumasok si taerae sa litrato kung saan ang binata ay nabahagian ng iilang facts and trivias about hao. parang open book na tuloy siya sa kanyang peers (peers being 2 people), dahil nga kabisado na nila lahat ng galawan nito.

to simply put, wala na siyang kawala.

tulad ngayon.

the 4th rule in the zhang handbook is if he goes missing immediately after class, matic may ayaw 'yang pag usapan. at matic mahahanap mo lang yan kasama ng mga pinsan nya.

it's not that hao's aloof kaya wala siyang ibang circle of friends. hindi rin naman siya suplado. he wouldn't be elected president of their club kung madaming may ayaw sakanya. ang katotohanan lang diyan, medyo wary sakanya 'yung mga tao because he's just... something else.

eh siya din naman hindi siya kumakausap ng kung sino lang. unless he's been approached beforehand you won't catch him talking to someone randomly. habit na din siguro nya na maging skeptical.

after all, this place is not his natural habitat. he grew up in palawan, a part of him died in palawan, and in his heart and mind, palawan will always be his home.

which explains why he's only made plenty of connections instead of friendships in this place. at least a guy knows how to plant his own roots diba?

and anyway, andyan naman nga ang mga pinsan nya so why bother pa? para sakanya matthew and taerae are enough. other people are just collateral damage. ansaveh.

yun nga lang, there are times when he wishes na hindi nalang nya kaibigan 'tong mga dakilang epal na 'to sa buhay nya. those times being now.

"so, dahil nga sa sinabi ko kaya ka nagpa-lista?" matthew inquired at talaga ginigitgit pa sya sa upuan nya, a habit na alam ni matthew ay ikaiinis ng kaibigan nya to the point na he would fess up.

but not today.

medyo in a deep thought kasi sya because of sung hanbin. and the convo that transpired between them just hours ago.

as if on cue naman, dumating din si taerae. "hi everything!" ganadong greetings pa niya kay ricky at gyuvin na may pinagtatalunan nanaman kaya hindi siya pinansin so dedma, tumabi nalang siya kay hao.

"sabi ni matt sasama ka na sa prom, kelan ka magba-bayad? magbayad ka na ha! wala nang atrasan 'to gago. rehearsals na next week! magkikita kita tayo lagi sa audi kasi kami 'yung magdedecorate ng venue." paglalahad niya with a smile pa. yung labas dimples.

sometimes they doubt talaga na taerae only joined the sc for clout. super passionate kasi nya sa role to the point na sometimes it's inspiring to witness it firsthand.

"huy oo nga pala! what changed? si pres ba? kinausap ka ni pres? si pres noh? nag-reply ka sakanya sa twitter umamin ka!" sunod sunod siyang inintriga ng kanyang friend with matching duro duro pa sa kanyang braso subalit tanging kunot ng ulo lang ang binigay nya dito.

"tangina anong problema nito?" tanong ni taerae asking for help na kasi hindi sila kinikibo, but matthew only shrugged habang may nakakalokong ngiti sa labi.

hao would punch his face if he could.

matthew knows him too well minsan it's creepy. what if he can read minds?

pero thanks to matthew's stupid face na mukhang in the mood for chika ay sya nalang ang iniintriga ni taerae.

"nakita mo tweet ni pres? sino kaya ininvite no'n sa prom?"

okay maybe he's not so thankful pala. tangina. ayan din yung iniisip nya kanina pa.

what did that asshole mean when he said he was interested in him?

ano siya item sa facebook live na pwedeng i-mine?

it's so weird because it's so out of the blue.

and what's weirder is how the guy boldy confessed to having zhang hao occupy his mind from time to time. what do he do with that information?

bakit para siyang kinakabahan?

bakit parang sasabog yung dibdib niya?

at bakit may nagba-badyang ngiti sa mga labi niya?

putang. ina. mo. seok. matthew.

in zhang hao's mind he's still blaming matthew for putting ideas inside his head. kung ano ano tuloy dumadapo sa utak nya!

he was at peace. and then he wasn't.

ngayon ang gulo lang.

at lalo pang gumulo when taerae suddenly uttered sung hanbin's title.

"pres!" eskandalosang pag-sigaw nito turning a couple of heads on his direction. "uy pres, tara dito maluwag pa!" eme pa nito akala mo jeep lang.

unfortunately for zhang hao talagang tumayo pa si taerae para ioffer ang upuan niya kay hanbin at ang the rest, kay jiwoong at gunwook!

pag minamalas ka nga naman.

well, fortunately for gyuvin, tabi sila ng crush nya.

at least someone's winning at this round table.

"hi." pag-sabat agad ni hanbin sakanya pero on a soft tone. you know, yung hi na may kasama nang ngiti sa labi? ganon. and the best part, hanbin uttered his hi in a way na si hao lang ang nakarinig.

"huy pres, pano mo napapayag sa prom si hao?"

"HUH?"

"ha?"

they said in unison. at kung una ay kay taerae pa sila lumingon, ngayon ay nagka-tinginan silang dalawa. si hao obviously annoyed, si hanbin naman has an amused expression on his face.

"pumayag ka na pala sa'kin? bakit sa iba mo sinabi?" panimula nito which made the whole table frowning at their direction. mga mosang.

but then again, bakit ganyan siya makatingin? and also, baliw talaga si taerae, zhang hao would definitely kick his ass for this.

"pumayag saan?" pag-singit ni jiwoong. "huy, bro don't tell me—" alternately tinuro nya si hanbin at zhang hao with matching takip labi pa bago tumingin kay taerae, mentally asking kung nagegets nya ba ang kino-conclude ni jiwoong.

it took him a few seconds to finally mirror jiwoong's gestures. ngayon pareho na silang nakaturo sa dalawa. habang ang iba sa table nila ay nakangiti na naguguluhan sa mga nangyayari.

"NAYAYA MO NA SI HAO SA PROM?" si jiwoong.

"PUMAYAG KA?" pag-dagdag ni taerae.

"PUPUNTA NA TAYONG PROM?" sabat naman ni gyuvin.

lahat sila ay nag-aabang sa confirmation pero to their disappointment nagtaas lang ng pakyu si zhang hao sakanilang lahat at itinuon ang atensyon sa pagkain leaving his friends and cousin hanging.

being respectful of hao's decision to not disclose anything, nag shrug nalang din si hanbin at may ngiti parin sa labi.

jiwoong could almost throw up kasi kanina pa siya ganyan. big smile plastered on his face since this morning, maski pagre-recite nya may ngiti parin.

but he chose to pay no mind. kung gaano kakapal naman kasi ang mukha ni jiwoong sa socmed eh kabaliktaran sya in person. he's surprisingly decent and behave. yari nga lang mamaya sakanya si hanbin who's now observing zhang hao's way of eating.

the meal of the day: giniling.

a more sophisticated name for giniling? picadillo.

korek, yan lang naman ang parehas nilang ulam.

and shawn right here notices a small quirk of zhang hao. the latter separates the olives from his food. and if you watch sitcoms, you'll probably share the same mind as hanbin right now.

"ayaw mo ng olives?" tanong niya, stalling zhang hao from inserting a spoonful of rice in his mouth. "can i? take it? mahilig ako sa olives."

share mo lang? hao wanted to blurt out pero sumenyas nalang sya kay hanbin to go ahead and just pick the damned olives kasi alam niyang pinapanood parin sila ng mga kasama nila.

"are you familiar with the olive theory?"

zhang hao heard a snort coming from matthew kaya napa-react na din siya. "ano?"

"olive theory. compatibility test 'yan. they say na two people would be perfect for each other if one loves olives and the other person hates them."

"anong konek?" pakiki-sawsaw ni taerae.

"wala naman." sambit ni shawn, shrugging after drowning a glass of water.

"i'm just... implying na, you and me—we might make a perfect couple you know?"

dagdag pa nya sporting a smirk towards hao's direction bago nag iwas at nagpatuloy sa pag-kain na parang wala lang.

everyone on the table had malicious smiles displayed on their faces.

and hao should be smoking mad dahil napagkakaisahan siya right now but instead he's not.

one thing's for sure.

sung hanbin. shawn. or whatever the fuck they call him. he's confusing zhang hao. big time.

[arfatardi]

Putaran yang berulang

.

Bagi sebagian orang kehidupan merupakan tempat berkreasi, banyak bertabur peluang dan kemungkinan, berkerlip menawarkan keindahan. Namun bagi sebagian yang lain kehidupan merupakan ruang rutinitas yang berulang dan membosankan.

Fenomena sekarang bahwa life freedom yang bermakna terbebas dari rutinitas harian dan memiliki warna baru setiap hari untuk dinikmati merupakan hal yang banyak diimpikan orang, terutama di kawala muda. Namun sayang, seringkali seseorang yang merasa terkekang dengan rutinitas harian ataupun pekanan yang sebenarnya ia ingin lari darinya dan meninggalkan semua itu di belakang sehingga tak pernah tertoleh lagi tak kunjung terealisasi. Entah karena takut dengan ketidakpastian, atau karena belum sanggup mendengarkan kritikan orang. Sehingga hari-harinya terselimuti awan mendung kegelisahan yang menurunkan hujan kesedihan.

Namun dalam kehidupan ini benarkah seseorang bisa terlepas sepenuhnya dari rutinitas, dan benarkah memiliki keterikatan dengan sebuah rutinitas harian yang harus dijalankan dan senantiasa terulang merupakan cara hidup yang patut untuk dihindari?

Senikmat dan seindah apapun kehidupan jika dijalankan dengan ritme yang sama maka suatu waktu pasti mendatangkan kejenuhan. Pemandangan terindah jika terus dipandang akan menaruh kesan 'biasa' di benak suatu waktu nanti. Hal tersebut merupakan sebuah watak yang telah ditanamkan dalam diri manusia, tidak pernah puas, selayaknya ketamakan akan harta. Sebagaimana yang dijelaskan oleh baginda Nabi ﷺ:

لَوْ كانَ لاِبْنِ آدَمَ وادِيانِ مِن مالٍ لابْتَغَى وادِيًا ثالِثًا، ولا يَمْلأُ جَوْفَ ابْنِ آدَمَ إلَّا التُّرابُ، ويَتُوبُ اللَّهُ علَى مَن تابَ.

“Seandainya seseorang memiliki dua lembah harta maka ia pasti menginginkan lembah ketiga, dan tidak ada yang dapat memenuhi perut anak Adam melainkan tanah (kematian)”. (HR. Imam Muslim No. 1048).

Kemudian kita dapati bahwa konsekuensi sebagai umat muslim dalam rangka meraih keridhaan Allah ﷻ sebuah jiwa harus mau tunduk terhadap kewajiban-kewajiban yang telah Ia gariskan, di antaranya berupa amalan harian yang senantiasa harus dilaksanakan, pada waktu dan dengan cara yang telah ditentukan; seperti halnya shalat lima waktu. Sebagaimana yang difirmankan:

إِنَّ ٱلصَّلَوٰةَ كَانَتْ عَلَى ٱلْمُؤْمِنِينَ كِتَٰبًا مَّوْقُوتًا

"Sesungguhnya shalat itu adalah fardhu yang ditentukan waktunya atas orang-orang yang beriman”. (Qs. An-Nisa: 103).

Sehingga kita dapati agama yang mulia ini melatih jiwa seseorang untuk bertahan di atas sebuah rutinitas baik yang ia yakini dapat membawa kebahagiaan dunia dan akhiratnya. Secara implisit bahwa jiwa yang telah tahan dalam alur dan rutinitas baik merupakan jiwa yang telah sampai pada level yang lebih tinggi. Senada dengan hal tersebut Nabi ﷺ bersabda:

أَحَبُّ الْأَعْمَالِ إِلَى اللَّهِ تَعَالَى أَدْوَمُهَا وَإِنْ قَلَّ

“Amalan yang paling dicintai oleh Allah adalah yang paling konsisten meskipun sedikit”. (HR. Imam Bukhori no 6464 dan Imam Muslim no 783 ).

Imam Nawawi rahimahullah mengatakan, “Maksudnya mampu untuk konsisten dalam melakasanakan tanpa terbebani. Di dalamnya ada dalil anjuran untuk menjaga dalam beribadah, menjauhi berlebih-lebihan. Hadits tidak khusus dalam shalat, bahkan ia umum mencakup semua amalan kebaikan”. (Syarah Nawawi ‘ala Muslim, [6/ 70-71]).

Kalau kita menilik kepada dunia barat, jauh-jauh hari mereka telah mengakui bahwa pengulangan terhadap prioritas yang tepat merupakan tangga utama menuju kesuksesan dunia, sebagaimana yang di jelaskan oleh Charles Duhigg dalam bukunya The Power of Habit dan Gary Keller beserta Jay Papasan dalam buku mereka The One Thing.

Sehingga pada akhirnya sebuah rutinitas baik merupakan bekal seseorang untuk mendapat kemuliaan dunia dan akhirat. Hanya kesadaran yang perlu senantiasa untuk diarahkan kepada sisi positif sehingga dapat kembali melihat nilai baik dari rutinitas tersebut. Tanpa harus merubah haluan yang telah diarungi selama ini hanya disebabkan oleh rasa jenuh atau termakan kata-kata kebebasan.

(Arfat Ardi S)