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what if we cuddled for so long we were both warm and we smelled like each other. what then.

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Ellie gives him a light side-eye at his guess about it being Wham!, his guess is right on the nose this time. "Maybe...," she shrugs, acting as if she isn't sure, like she hadn't made the playlist herself, as if she hadn't come up with it on the night she found out they were spending a wintery weekend in a cabin together.

She smiles at his annoyance and can't resist making glances at him. Though she does make sure to blatantly stare at him for a second when he expresses disbelief in her threat, "Whatever, you're lucky we need the flour for more dough," she shakes her head and goes back to cookie cutting. He did in fact know her well.

Ellie had been more merciful with some songs on the playlist, quite a few were instrumentals at least, and she'd even avoided saxophone when she could. Though it wasn't time for those songs yet. Mariah's voice fades during their bickering, and so begins Wham!'s turn.

"Oh, mhm, Ellie Jade's flour-covered face, how disgraceful," she jokes. When their hips bump, she scoots a little so he can cut cookies too. Though she doesn't scoot much, their elbows just centimeters from knocking every time she moves the cookie cutter around on the flattened dough. "I'll just tell everyone you're a Mariah Carey hater," she threatens back as she sets the cookies she's cut so far onto a parchment paper-covered sheet pan.

When she's got enough cookies on her side, she takes a break to finally clean the flour off her face. "Send all her fans after you," she adds as she takes the couple of steps to the sink and wets a paper towel to try and wipe off any flour still stuck to her skin.

“please,  mariah is bad enough.   i’m not sure if i can handle more than that.   it’s wham,  isn’t it?   a christmas playlist without last christmas is like…   a proposal without a ring.   a book without a bookmark.”   it’s pure sarcasm,  and still he can’t help but laugh upon hearing her attempts at defending rudolph the red-nosed reindeer soundtrack,  finding the whole conversation beyond amusing.   especially now that she’s got flour smeared over her visage.   he just can’t take her seriously.   “hm?   what’s that?”   he grins as she retaliates,  her threat only encouraging the playful glint in his eyes.   

“go ahead,  dump the whole tub of flour on me,  show me what you’ve got,”   he teases,  laughing under his breath as he picks up the christmas tree-shaped cookie cutter.   as nonchalant as ever,  knowing she doesn’t have it in her to just cover him in flour from head to toe.   “but that picture’s staying in my phone forever,  and maybe one day i’ll post it.   who knows?”   it’s en empty threat as he would never actually post something that she doesn’t want online,  but her reactions make it so fun to torment her.   “i’ll wait for you to become famous and then i’ll drop it to gain publicity.”   he doesn’t even realize that she’s taken a few pictures of him,  too.   too busy pressing the cutter into the dough,  hip gently bumping hers to make her scoot and make some room for him.

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A weak smile lifts at the corners of Ellie's lips at Abilene's comment. She works on the first braid, and at this point she's gotten used to working with her own shaky hands, so these braids go a little smoother than that first one. She tries to just focus on weaving the strands, counting the pattern as she goes, all in an effort to not let her mind wander too far into the what-ifs. What if Abi doesn't make it out? What if these vicious games never end? No. She needs to do everything she can to get Abi out. This all needs to end.

Ellie's halfway through the second braid when Abilene begins speaking again. She shakes her head gently, even if Abi can't really see the movement. "I won't," she promises. In a way, she feels something akin to guilt because Abi's worried about her. Ellie's not the one being forced back into the arena. Yes, the Capitol is a whole other arena with its own set of rules and threats, but it's not the same thing.

She soon finishes weaving the brunette's hair and then gently lets the two long braids fall onto the girl's shoulder. She takes a couple of steps to stand in front of her best friend, she tries not to let herself crumble once face-to-face with the other. "Don't worry about me, okay?" She knows she'd feel the same way if she were in Abi's place, worried about the dangers outside the arena. About what could happen while both of them are apart. She takes Abilene's hands in her own and crouches. "You just focus on surviving. I'll be there waiting for you just like you were for me." She takes a deep breath, trying, unavailingly, to keep any tears at bay, though the breath just comes out unsteady, and her eyes become glossy anyway.

Ellie wasn't sure what she'd do if Abilene didn't make it out.

abilene forced a soft smile onto her own face when she saw ellie's lip tremble . she would try to survive she would , for ellie but the odds were not entirely in her favor . she could run , though she was not the fastest , or climb , though she was not the smallest . . . but when it came to fighting , abilene had no skills or talents . then again , a few had won their games by hiding or evading , right ? hadn't that been what she had done herself ?

❛ with your skills ? i'm sure i will . ❜ she tried to reassure ellie with the statement but her hand fiddled with the sleeve of the jumpsuit . it was so thin , perhaps that meant that it would be warm ? perhaps it would be similar to her own games and she could find some sort of crevice to hide out in ? then again , she was a fair bit larger than she was back then , maybe she wouldn't even fit .

she didn't regret volunteering , not for a moment , but that didn't mean that she wasn't afraid . abilene wished that she could hold ellie and feel her hands on her back and never let go , knowing that she would be safe and content right there in other's arms . . . but there wasn't any use in hoping for a future that seemed so bleak .

❛ ellie , i . . . ❜ abilene trailed off . there was too much to say and too little time to say it . she cleared her throat and pretended to itch a scratch on her nose , though what she was doing was wiping it before she sniffled . ❛ i need you to promise me that . . . that you won't . . . ❜ unshed tears clung to her lashes and her voice began to crack . ❛ don't do what i did to get sponsors or-or anything , okay ? nothing is worth letting them sink their teeth into you . ❜

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Reblog if it's okay to fill up your inbox!

-please feel free to specify in the tags any limits you may have! examples being: mutuals only; only for memes, general ic asks, or both; if ooc asks are welcomed; etc.

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Open Sarter open to -> anyone (mutuals and non-mutuals!) fandom/au -> open to any Connections -> assume connections (lemme know in the tags), nothing t*boo

"I love you," she sucks in a breath, "I love you, I'm sorry,"

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She doesn't know if taking a break from each other is the solution; it doesn't feel right, but she doesn't know what else to suggest. The relationship she had with Trent, the trust, the care, the love they had for each other was all so new. Maybe it just scared her a little... Her parents were perfectly in love, then one day they weren't. She didn't want that to happen between Trent and her, to suddenly disconnect despite all their history. After everything they've done together.

"I... I don't know," she admits as she finally looks at Trent, discovers his eyes are as tearful as her own. She wants Trent, she knows that for sure, but it's the nagging voice in her head that tells her otherwise. A bigger part of her doesn't want to lose him, hates the words that had spilled from her mouth. She has to will herself to not walk the short distance between them and wrap her arms around him. "I mean, I don't think I do..," she manages to express. The other part, the side of her that started this whole conversation, is trying to push him away. If she stopped it all now, they'd eliminate the risk of ending up like her parents.

Trent looks up hopefully at the sound of his name. Likes his name the most when it's coming off her tongue, even if it's tangled in blue. Ellie's not looking at him, and Trent gets it. If he weren't in the midst of it, he'd tell her, how they're the same, that it can be so painful to look. He gets it. Gets her. Knows her. But he's not so sure. Because he doesn't know what she means when she says she's not good at this stuff like this, because if stuff like this is them, then — the two of them are good, he's so certain of it.

"I don't want that though." Time. He doesn't need time to know he wants her. It only comes belatedly that he's not the only one in this relationship. Trent's already a little teary-eyed, a sensitive kid, a nasty habit he never grew out of, but makes an effort to blink to keep them at bay when he asks, "Is that what you want?"

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Shipping with me gets you access to so many AUs

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//@4lexnilsen sent: " i've brought half a pharmacy, enough movies and boardgames to last us a decade, and every single snack i could fit into the basket at the grocery store. so sit your butt down, eat your soup, and try and make the most of your bed rest for the next week, will you? "

Yesterday, she'd been fine, she'd left the apartment to run errands, did some work on some personal projects, and even did some cleaning with no issue. This morning, though, Ellie woke up feeling like she'd been run over. Her limbs felt heavy, her brain foggy. She'd struggled to get out of bed except once to use the bathroom and another time to turn on the pedestal fan in the corner of her room when she started to feel like every inch of her body was coated in a thick layer of sweat.

When Alex showed up, she'd met him at the door. Her curls are haphazardly tied in a bun at the base of her neck, glasses abandoned on her nightstand, and she's still in her pajamas—a loose t-shirt and running shorts—despite the time of day. She hopes she doesn't look as bad as she feels, thinks maybe she should've fixed her hair at least or changed her clothes, then she thinks it's Alex, and she doesn't worry so much.

She'd tried to convince him to not come over, texted him that she'd be fine on her own, that she didn't want to spread her germs to him. They were half-hearted protests, in truth, she didn't want to be alone.

She doesn't like being sick. Well, she figures no one likes the feeling of being ill, it's the feel of needing help that' the worst for her. Growing up, she always dealt with sickness on her own, took care of herself, got through it alone. So, asking for help feels like she's putting the burden of her ailment on them, but when he makes it clear that he isn't going anywhere, she gives in.

She does as she's told and slides carefully onto a barstool set in front of the island counter. She dips her spoon into the soup and then lifts it to her lips to blow on it. "You didn't need to do all this," she gestures to the bags he's brought over with a nudge of her chin in the direction, then takes a bite of the soup. The warm broth soothes the dryness of her throat, plus she had yet to actually eat anything today, so eventually the rumble in her stomach would settle too.

"So, what drugs did you smuggle for me?" she asks with a soft smile. She hadn't bothered to take anything yet; the thought hadn't crossed her mind until after a trip to the bathroom and it felt too far of a walk from her bed to her meds all the way in the medicine cabinet. Then again, she wasn't sure she even had what she'd need for this; the only bottles she could recall were her anxiety meds and some multivitamins.

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"Trent...," her voice cracks a little as she speaks his name. It feels like there's a string inside her chest that had just snapped. She didn't want to do this, never thought she'd consider leaving him this way. "I just...," her mouth opens slightly as she takes in a breath and tries to find the right words. Her eyes focus anywhere but on his own. She can't bring herself to look at him.

"I'm not good at stuff like this...," relationships. She loves Trent, doesn't want to end what they have together; it's why she can't look him in the eyes, it'll all just hurt more. Trent hadn't done anything wrong either, sure they'd had their little fights, things they could talk through and compromise on. It had never gotten to the point that they wanted to end things, not that she wanted to now. This time talking is harder, she doesn't know what to say, how to explain herself, how to interpret all the awful thoughts running through her mind. "Maybe we just need time...," she's giving him a chance to run. "...to think whether this is something we really want."

@sarcaasmic sent 🎁 for a spotify wrapped starter ! shivers by juli.a j.acklin

"My heart is really on it's knees."

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In the spirit of new beginnings, if we've never interacted before, this is your invitation to invade my inbox.

Or message me to plot out the future of our muses! This could be the year our muses become the best of friends, the most passionate of lovers, or the most bitter of rivals.

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//cont. from here (sorta) @klldare

Last year she’d spent New Year’s Eve at a party in a bar in the cut, waiting. She’d stood on the outskirts of the crowd for a while, waiting, hoping for him to change his mind. For Rafe Cameron to get over himself and spend the night with her.

At the time she’d been upset, she couldn’t believe Rafe. Thinking she’d go with him to some stuck-up Kooks-only New Year’s Eve party. Cause she so wanted to start the new year in a house full of people that thought they were better than her. She originally didn’t even plan on attending a party, she was just going to watch the fireworks from the beach but then her friends mentioned a party in the cut, and she couldn’t resist. Not for the fact that it was a party but so she could spend some time with her friends, the thought that maybe she could ease her mind away from Rafe.

Her thoughts were too often consumed by him; it was difficult to get the Kook-prince out of her head. Especially when people start chattering about who they’re going to kiss at midnight. It wasn’t like she hadn’t tried to invite Rafe; she’d tried to make it sound fun, but he wouldn’t listen. Refused to purposely be in the same building as so many Pogues. 

This year, they’re not at any parties. She can hear a distant group of people down the coast yell as midnight approaches.

10!

This year is different. That magnetism had grown stronger and she found she couldn’t stay away. They still fought, yes, but something had changed. This year she was spending all of New Years Eve with her boyfriend Rafe and likely all of New Years day if Rafe has anything to say about it.

9!

This year they didn't bother attending any parties. He didn't have to hunt her down like before. She'd persuaded him to spend the night at the beach alone.

8!

She peaks past Rafe to watch the crowd, checking her phone to make sure they were right about the timing. 

7!

Her gaze easily focuses back on Rafe though, setting her phone back on the towel. It was hard to look away too long, despite their differences, the months of fighting the feelings of attraction. He’s magnetic. 

6!

The countdown feels like forever, she wishes they could just skip to one, get going on their new year together. Her hopes for this year are high. She has plans.

5!

Then again maybe she should just breathe in the moment. It was what she wanted after all.

4!

She loves moments like this. Nothing to stress about, it’s a nice interlude between their bickering. As much as she loves getting on his nerves, she appreciates times when they can just revel in each other's company. Soothe each other's endless thoughts.

3!

Just the two of them, sitting on a beach towel surrounded by sand and the sound of the soft waves ahead of them. 

2!

A whole new year ahead of them. 

1!

Her eyes flutter shut as their lips meet, her arms slide over his broad shoulders as her hands find their spot by his neck. There are fireworks at the other end of the beach, but she only takes a minute to look at them, unable to focus on the sparks of color for too long. She has other priorities right now. 

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//just started Smallville (like literally only 5 ep in) and can feel a new hyper fixation starting, if anyone is interested in a plot/au inspired by the show (or something with superheroes in general tbh) dm me or like this post plz!

this is for mutuals and non-mutuals!

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Reblog to let your mutuals know. . .

that they are appreciated. that they are important. that they are amazing. that they are creative. that they are loved.

No matter how long you take to reply, what mood you are in, how insecure you are feeling about your writing, or how active you are — your presence is still very much enjoyed. You never have to apologize or feel bad for taking a while with a reply, or not answering an ask right away. Life can get busy, energy can fluctuate, interest can shift, and emotions can change. You are human and these things do not make you a bad person/partner.

We write together because it is fun and enjoyable, not because it is expected of you to answer every little thing at the snap of fingers.

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how about m is a party boy prince who just trots around the globe doing whatever he wants and f is a hard working pop star who loves what she does and puts in 110% effort!!! & m and f are introduced at a party one night and f is like ya sure you’re a prince how great and m can’t believe it bc everyone else falls at his feet and m makes it his mission to make f fall in love with him so he sends her flowers and comes to her shows and shows up at her house with little gifts and !!!! & f secretly loves that m is fawning over her and trying to take care of her and stuff but she’s trying to support her family and doesn’t want to get lazy and !!! and just the anGST

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The dryness in her mouth returns quickly as they talk more about the games and their role in it, so she takes a few more drinks of water before setting the glass on the nightstand on her side of the bed. Normally, she avoids sharing her thoughts like this, she simply lets herself dwell in it on her own. She used to share more, but her team from the capitol looked at it differently, and it didn't feel right to complain to those in her district because at least she survived, at least she had a nice home, full meals, and clean clothes... With Alex though, she could feel her thoughts unravel, there's no pressure to hold them in around him. She's found someone who would not only listen but could empathize. He understands her. Sees her as a person.

She nods along to his words again and thinks about how things could definitely be better... way better. There could be no games at all, a life where children didn't have to fight for their lives to entertain the rich, people wouldn't have to starve or work until their bodies gave out. A life of peace.

Maybe someday...

The gentle hold of his hand and the stroke of his thumb against her skin are calming. She gives his hand a gentle squeeze when he admits to feeling like an inadequate mentor. She didn't think anyone could feel good as a mentor until the moment your tribute lives, she doubts even those from the career district feel good every year. Even though their tributes are trained, they're still children, and even if their district wins, one out of two they'd sent in will die. Then it starts all over the next year. No one truly wins here. "We're all just doing what we can," she says softly.

She smiles softly at the thought of showing Alex around Ten, and in turn, the possibility of visiting Twelve with him. "When I can," she agrees. Sometimes it's hard to leave her home in the victor's village to face the world. She tended to hole herself up for days at a time, despite the loneliness of her home, it's also sometimes hard to walk around in Ten, to see the faces of those who'd lost their loved ones in the game. Especially when she sees the family of her fellow District Ten tribute. The guilt of survival weighed on her the most when thinking of him.

Ellie smiles a little once again as Alex divulges more about his life to her, she wishes she knew more, hopes that she can learn everything about him, "That's sweet. Did you have a favorite?" she asks. She tries to picture the bakery, the marketplace, the pretty landscape beyond the border. She's thankful her own lakes and fields aren't fenced off, though she presumes they're only like that because of the animals that graze and drink there. She's sure they'd be off-limits otherwise. "Maybe, once everything... settles... we could visit each other," she suggests.

“you’re welcome,”   alex says quietly,  clearing his throat.   he always feels so different when ellie’s around,  constantly wondering whether he’s making a fool of himself and blushing like a schoolboy.   she just has this genuinely sweet smile.   something that’s so very rare in the capitol,  and makes him feel weak in the knees.   “yeah,  things could always be worse.   saying it like this is cold comfort,  though.   i mean,  things could also be much better,  right?”   he isn’t used to opening up,  prefers to bottle every emotion up so that it can never be used against him,  but this girl…   she has him wishing he could confess all his sins and share every single worry with her.

as she lays her hand in his,  his heart does a little backflip.   it feels good to spend time with someone who’s been through similar trauma,  who understands you and knows what you’re dealing with.   the pad of his thumb stroking her skin,  tenderly as if she were made of glass.   “my kids stand no chance.   i look at them and all i see in their eyes is this all-consuming fear,  no fight.   i don’t think they’ve had a proper meal in their lives.   so,  this time i’m…   i’m trying to go with the latter and distance myself.   they deserve a better mentor,  i guess,”   he sighs heavily,  glancing briefly at the bottle of liquor on his nightstand and reconsidering pouring himself one.   but he doesn’t want to get drunk and pass out,  not tonight.   

closing his eyes,  alex does his best to picture the things that ellie’s describing and a small smile tugs at the corners of his lips.   “sounds like such a beautiful place.   wish i could find a way to visit one day.   the part about lakes seems particularly appealing,  and the barnyard.   we used to have that,  like,  decades ago at twelve,  too.   the hob.   now it’s really just a market,  a place where people trade and sell products.   is that what you do when this masquerade is over?   when you get to go home?”   swim in lakes,  hang out with friends out in the fields,  dance at the barnyard?   he doesn’t know much about her because they rarely get to talk like this,  but he’d love to know more.   she’s fascinating.

“well,  it’s…   covered in coal dust.   the part of twelve where i come from,  the seam.   there’s coal dust everywhere.   but there’s also that merchant,  nicer neighborhood,  where people actually have food to put on their tables and there’s this bakery that my mom always took me to for my birthday.   we never had much money but on that one day,  i could pick whatever i wanted,”   he rambles on,  briefly forgetting where they are and going back to those simpler times when he was so young and naive and didn’t notice what exactly was wrong with the world.   “there’s this fence that’s supposed to keep us in,  but beyond it?   that’s the truly beautiful part of twelve.   we have woods and mountains,  a lake,  too…   though,  it’s far away and you don’t want to get caught sneaking out into the wilderness.   there’s punishment for that.”   death.   flogging if one’s lucky.   

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Thank you.

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"Wow...," her jaw drops slightly, barely any sound had actually come out of her mouth but what she'd said was clear through the glass. Forty-five people... "Gonna have a whole section of the arena rooting for you," she adds with a smile. If they all come anyways... she hopes they do, for Darren's sake.

Ellie gives him a look when he talks about the hot cocoa, she knows he's just fine finishing a cup on his own. "We'll see...," she gives in, but then again, the drink might be cold by the times he's done and he'll want a new, hot one, anyways.

Ellie smiles at his offer, "I'd like that," after a short pause she adds, "Can't promise I won't pull you down with me if I fall though," she's skated maybe once in her life, but it was only at a pond by her trailer when she was little, plus she'd used a chair to keep herself upright.

"All of my Psychology classmates, a few people from my D&D party, and like one person who plays with me online. So maybe...45 people?"

Less of a small group and more of a minor army. He didn't know if he'd get to play again this season so he'd wanted everyone to see it.

"Oh come on, can't leave just a little left over for me? I don't think I could drink an entire one on my own." A playful joke, the hulking boy could probably down about three on his own. But it was nicer to share with a friend. His expression lights up suddenly with a new idea.

"You know after the game they open the rink back up for free skate. If you want I could teach you."