#int. alex nilsen

[sarcaasmic]

//cont. from here

Since she gew up in Indiana, Ellie's no stranger to winter weather, but she'd never been snowed in quite like this. Inside, the fire and layers of blankets kept the pair warm, but going outside felt like instant hypothermia, especially this late in the day. Hence why she wore a crewneck she'd stolen from Alex a few weeks ago, fleece-lined leggings, and fuzzy white socks covered in penguins with Christmas lights.

Ellie smiles softly at his hyperbole; even if he's just exaggerating, she doesn't think staying with him in this place until May would be all that bad. "We'll just have our own little Christmas," she shrugs. They'll be stuck for a few days at least; even if the weather lightens up for them to go outside, it does't necessarily mean the sky or roads would be clear for travel. She wasn't exactly looking forward to Christmas with her own family anyway. "But I am sorry you won't be able to celebrate with your family," she adds; she didn't want to seem like she was dismissing the fact that he wasn't home for Christmas either.

His earlier comment finally clicks, and Ellie shifts in her spot, no longer resting against Alex, instead opting to prop herself against the couch cushions for a moment so she can look him in the eyes. "Wait... back it up, did you say dumb romcoms?"

[sarcaasmic]

@4lexnilsen sent “You’re really red right now.”

The earlier words had caught her off guard, how could she not be at least a little surprised, a little flustered, a little red in the face. "Oh shut up," Ellie says with a roll of her eyes, the edges of her mouth turning up into a smile just enough for dimples to form at the corners; betraying her attempt at seeming truly annoyed. She looks at Alex for a moment to make sure the playful smack to his shoulder lands then looks away again as she tries to use the back of her hands to cool down her cheeks.

She wished the colors on her face didn't give away her emotions so easily. Her cheeks tended to swiftly turn pink if not a rosy red when she was flustered or in the rare case that she'd worked out and was short of breath. She'd done no exercise recently, so there was no denying she was feeling the former.

Knowing her cheeks had visibly flushed only made them warmer, despite her efforts to cool her skin off. "Well, you can't just say something like that," she defends herself.

[sarcaasmic]

@4lexnilsen sent "it's been a while since i slept through the night without any nightmares"

Ellie knew the feeling well; after experiencing the games, it was rare to have dreams that weren't at least a little stressful or worrying, if not full-on nightmares. So, she wasn't surprised by Alex's confession, but she was glad he felt comfortable enough to admit something like that.

"I can stay with you tonight if you want," she offers as she leans against the doorframe. Even if she couldn't prevent the bad dreams from happening—as much as she wanted to—she could at least try and ease the idea of falling asleep and be there if he wakes up in the middle of the night. Sometimes the worst part of a nightmare wasn't the dream itself, it was the feeling of waking up alone.

Those nights after she first won the sixty-seventh hunger games had been the worst. Even once she was done with the victory tour and back in her district. It was too quiet. It didn't feel like home. Despite all the furnishings and touches of decor, the house felt empty, cold.

"I'll bring a chair or something," she adds. She could always grab a chair and curl up in it while the other hopefully dozes off. She figures she could take the time to write in her journal and if she did fall asleep, she'd sleep light enough that she couldn't easily wake up if Alex needed anything.

[sarcaasmic]

"I didn't say it was a flaw," she corrects him. She, in fact, is one of those girls that love that he's taller and it's not just because he can reach the shelves that she can't. She definitely prefers Romeo and Juliet over the Scooby-gang for just them. If it were a group costume it could be so iconic, but just them showing up without the rest of mystery incorporated might feel a little off. "Romeo and Juliet it is then." she agrees.

She lets out a quiet exhale of amusement, "Uncultured swines...," she mimics under her breathe, not in a way to make fun of him this time; his word choice was just entertaining. She appreciates his confidence in her but knows it'll still be a little intimidating meeting them. "I'm sure I'll be fine" She's not sure. Whatsoever. Then she glances at Alex and knows she'd be fine.

Ellie focuses her view on the menu when Alex asks if she has any siblings, "Oh yeah, have I not mentioned him before...?" It's not surprising, she wasn't one to talk about her family a ton, didn't like ruining the mood. Her brother though was a much easier topic, "Just an older brother, Arthur, goes by Artie," she explains. "Probably doesn't know who Baz Luhrmann is either," she tries to lighten up a little. Out of all her close family members, she liked him the most. "He lived with my mom after the divorce, so we didn't see each other as often as we probably should have but we reconnected when he moved out," Despite their distance physically, the Owens siblings managed to stay in contact. "He's a boxer," she adds.

“oh,  please,  don’t try to make it sound like a character flaw.   girls love how tall i am,”   he jokingly counters,  even if he’s far from being a casanova and an expert on what women find attractive.   he’s an introvert who always carries a book under his arm,  and is rather cautious when it comes to falling in love.   he’s only ever been in two serious relationships,  which isn’t really all that impressive.   “you know,  on a second thought…   your idea seems a lot better,  less embarrassing.”   romeo and juliet.   it’s a classic,  he thinks.   and who says two friends can’t go to a party dressed as the ultimate star-crossed lovers?

“luckily for me,  my brothers are uncultured swines so i doubt they’ll know who baz luhrmann is.”   he puts their playful banter on hold for a moment,  his features softening and heart melting at the genuine enthusiasm behind her words.   he’s a family man through and through.   he practically raised his brothers.   and so hearing ellie say that she’d love to meet them one day fills him with sheer happiness.   “please,  they’re gonna love you.   consider yourself warned,  though.   they can be quite…   intense.”   talking on top of each other,  arguing,  kicking one another under the table.   and yes,  they are all grown men now.   “what about you,  ellie?   do you have any siblings?”   he wonders aloud,  eyes locked on the menu as he contemplates his choices.

[sarcaasmic]

She’s happy with Alex’s response, minus the comment about Bigfoot. She lifts her head to make eye contact with him. "Bigfoot?" Really?” She shakes her head then rests her cheek on his chest once more. As much as she loved scary movies, they still messed with her thoughts a little. She knew that when they slept tonight, if the place was too quiet, the slightest noise would have her mind jumping to the worst conclusions.

"Hmm, probably The Strangers,” one of the worst ones to think about while they’re in a rental cabin. “Hmm, I don’t think I’ve seen that one,” she replies in reference to Seven. As much as she loved horror movies, she had a ton still on her watchlist.

Alex’s hands on her back and arm feel so right. Like they’re made to hold each other like this. If she could help it, she’d stay right here for the rest of the trip even if her legs fell asleep. One of her arms is tucked between the back of the couch, resting lightly along Alex’s side. The other lays folded against his torso. She’s thankful for the long sleeves, otherwise, Alex might be able to feel the light goosebumps spreading across her skin.

It takes a second for her to register that he’d said something. “Mhm, the dead white guy knew his shit,” she snickers a little at her own joke. “Quote from the movie, sorta, you’ll see,” she adds with a shrug.

“yeah,  of course,  it’s okay,  ellie.”   he appreciates the question,  though.   how mindful and considerate she is of his feelings.   “you’re my best friend.   who else am i supposed to do these things with?   and i mean,  my options are really limited at the moment.   it’s either you or the big foot,  and i don’t trust him to follow the recipe,”   he lightly teases,  absently rubbing her back.   he insists that she’s his best friend but his heart begs to disagree —   beating faster every time she’s near,  melting as soon as she lays her head on his chest,  panging whenever she’s not with him.   “what’s your favorite one?   slasher,  i mean.”   he finds it fascinating how she can enjoy both,  romantic comedies and horrors.   

“my favorite psychological thriller is probably the one with morgan freeman and brad pitt?   seven?   the first time i watched it,  i had that exact reaction.   what the fuck did i just watch?   but it was so good.”   he loves movies that either tell a very complex story and there’s a lot of character development,  or the ones that make him exercise his brain.   still,  he really isn’t against watching something light and predictable or scary and mostly plotless.   he’d watch anything with ellie.   “i don’t know how i’ll make up for this huge flaw…   i’ll have to find a way,”   he chuckles,  his other hand coming up to draw lazy circles on her arm.   if he could press pause and live in this moment forever,  he would do just that.   “yeah?   see?   that only further proves that his works are timeless.   they still inspire people to this day.”   fire crackling and popping in the distance,  illuminating their faces.   the tv coming to life.   and suddenly,  alex realizes that he wouldn’t want to be anywhere but here with ellie.

[sarcaasmic]

"Oh ha ha, you're the actual giant here," she quips back with a light poke to his side. This teasing back and forth felt so natural, they just understood each other. It was like an unspoken acknowledgement that neither was serious. The hard part was the divide between teasing and flirting; if anyone asked, they were so not flirting! They were just friends picking on each other that was it.

Yeah...

Ellie nods, "Oh yeah," she agrees. Honestly, if he didn't shave, she was sure this theoretical costume wouldn't be affected. Just because bare legs are visible doesn't mean they have to be shaved; it's a personal preference in the end. She doesn't judge.

"Oh, true," she nods. "I have a good conversation starter now. Hey, so nice to meet you. Did you know your brother loves Baz Luhrmann’s movies?" She smiles sweetly. She drops the humorous tone for a moment, "Joke aside, I am excited to meet your brothers one day." She's heard so much about them, and despite her tendency to be nervous around new people, she's confident she'll be fine with Alex there.

"Hmm, a cinnamon roll does sound good," she agrees as she peaks over at the case, slightly obscured by another customer. She glances over the options she can see from her spot, but another inhale of that sweet, sugary cinnamon scent filling the air helps confirm her decision. She looks toward the sign listing drink options; after looking them over, her mind's leaning toward an apple cider slushie.

if anyone asks,  the rosiness that’s spreading rapidly across the apples of alex’s cheeks is caused solely by the cool breeze,  definitely not by the fact that he gets to walk down the street with his arm around the most beautiful girl in the world.   whoever ends up marrying her will be the luckiest man alive.   “five foot five.   right.   what a giant you are.   guess with that height,  you can only go as big foot,  no other costume will fit you.   or shaq,”   he teases with a laugh,  winking at her even if he fully expects her to elbow him in the ribs for that one.   and god,  she’s got the cutest laugh.   “oh?   now we’re talking.   so,  i only shave above the knee?   from my knee up to what?   mid-thigh?   is that how girls do it?”   he playfully inquires,  even though he doesn’t really care what girls do with their bodies.   if someone wants to shave,  they shave.   if they don’t,  they don’t.   whatever.   who gives a fuck?   only weak men who think women are plastic dolls meant to entertain them care about stuff like that.   fuck those assholes.   “your other friends?   my brothers when you finally meet them?”   if his younger brothers knew that he liked those girly movies,  they’d still make fun of him in the nursing home.   arm reluctantly falling from around her as they step inside,  the warm aroma of freshly brewed coffee and sweet smell of cinnamon-dusted pastries fills the air.   “do you already know what you want to get or do you want to take a closer look at what they’ve got?   i’ve heard those cinnamon rolls are real good,  might try it,”   he rambles on,  refraining from taking her hand into his own as they stand in line,  pale blue eyes fixated on the variety of sweets behind the glass.

[sarcaasmic]

Ellie smiles softly. "That's sweet," she comments. She knows that Alex's mom is a cautious topic, so she is so grateful that he felt comfortable enough to talk about her at least a little bit. "Then sugar cookies and gingerbread it is," she states. "If that's okay," She didn't want to overstep in case he'd rather keep those specific cookies exclusive to the memories of baking with his mom. Especially since there was a risk of the cookies not turning out.

"Mhm," she confirms, romcoms and horror—quite the combination. "Even better when it's a little campy," she explains. "Slashers can be so fun, but yeah, I get that." Psychological horror can be so interesting too. "Especially when you have to sit there and think about what you just watched as the credits roll," she adds.

"Deal," she had no clue what movie Alex was going to pick, but maybe it'd be more fun as a surprise. "Huge flaw," she reiterates with a faux frown that she can't keep on her lips for longer than a few seconds. Ellie gets comfortable in their spot on the couch; it's cozy as she lays her head on his chest, covered in a blanket and Alex's scent.

"Oh, I know," she smiles. "Actually, a good chunk of romcoms are based on Shakespeare's works and other classics." She grabs her phone for a moment to google, "Hmmm, Hulu looks like." She tucks her phone under the couch once more, a spot easy to reach without the need to leave Alex's arms again. Then she turns the movie on.

“it’s one of the things that i always did with my mom.”   back when she was alive,  but he doesn’t say the words out loud.   she passed away when he was only six years old,  and yet that wound still refuses to heal.   “we’d make two batches of sugar cookies and then two more of gingerbread cookies,  we’d decorate them,  pack them in pretty little boxes and hand them out to our neighbors.”   alex rarely opens up like this because it never fails to leave him feeling vulnerable and awkward,  but being stuck in this little cabin has him releasing his inner inhibitions.

“oh?   so,  you are into both?   romcoms and horrors?”   there’s more amusement than judgement in his voice.   “i don’t really like typical slashers,  but the ones that lean more towards psychological thrillers,  like the shining,  can be interesting.”   laughing when she insists on watching a romantic comedy,  he figures he can’t really say no.   mostly because it’s not like there are many alternatives available.   are they just supposed to stare at the fire until they get tired enough to go to bed?   he rolls onto his side and snatches the remote from the coffee table,  handing it to ellie.   “let’s do it like this.   you pick the first movie,  i pick the next one.”   sounds like a fair deal to him.

she’s so cute,  he thinks to himself,  tapping the tip of her wrinkled nose.   the truth is,  he might not like romantic comedies,  but he’d watch anything just to make her happy,  even if he refuses to straight up admit it.   “i’m very happy to hear that this isn’t a dealbreaker,  but it surely is one of my biggest flaws,”   he laughs,  his arm curling around her shoulders once she’s lying down,  hugging her as their bodies mold against one another.   he pulls the fuzzy blanket over them again,  wanting to keep ellie warm.   “i really love shakespeare and that actually sounds interesting.   let’s give it a try.   is it on netflix?”

[sarcaasmic]

Ellie tries to keep up her faux pout, but a smile forms across her lips as she's tugged into Alex's side. She makes no move to pull away; she doesn't mind walking like that with him. With other people it felt awkward, and she'd end up stumbling; with Alex it was easier.

She smiles at the thought. "I bet it was," she agrees. She could imagine it—the little two-year-old in the Scooby Doo get-up. Then she pictures Alex with a little kid, as a dad like his brother, and she has to drop that train of thought. Another tease from him makes distracting herself easy.

Her jaw drops at a jab at her height. "Excuse me, I am five foot five, thank you," she corrects him. Ellie smiles at the thought of her as shaggy and him as Velma, skirt and all. His laughter easily brings out her own. "You're forgetting the knee-high socks, so technically you wouldn't have to shave your whole leg," she adds. Though maybe that's worse and that image only makes her laugh again.

She smiles at his confession. "Who am I gonna tell?" she comments with a small laugh. She thanks him as he opens the door for her. "Mhhhmm," she says as she walks inside the café. "And I get my own knight in shining armor," she adds.

alex just laughs and shakes his head,  his cheeks warm and rosy despite the rather chilly weather.   his arm curling tightly around ellie’s shoulders,  pulling her into a side hug to keep her from pouting.   “oh,  come on,  don’t be sad now.   give me a few years and maybe i’ll save up enough to buy you a pretty diamond ring.   we’ll see.   if not,  we’ll have to settle for a plastic one from the fair,”   he jokes,  releasing her from his warm embrace.   it’s what they do,  he tells himself.  they’re best friends.   all best friends tease each other like this.

“right?   my only concern is…   i’m not sure if they make these in my size,  but my brother got one for his toddler last year at party city.   it was adorable.”   when he was a child,  alex used to binge watch episodes of scooby-doo.   besides,  halloween really isn’t a serious holiday so he’s actually willing to go as anything.   “what?   i’m sorry,  but how does that make sense?   you’re what?   five feet tall?   i’m pretty sure shaggy’s supposed to be taller than that.   besides,  i’d have to shave my legs ‘cause velma wears a skirt and that’s a hassle.”   he tries to remain serious but ends up laughing anyway,  trying to imagine ellie as shaggy and himself as velma.   oh,  they’d turn some heads.   

“the glasses and the personality.”   nothing about this conversation is serious,  obviously,  but he means it as a compliment —   not everyone is smart enough to be velma.   ellie could definitely pull her off,  though.   “if you tell this to anyone,  i’ll deny it,  but…   i really like baz luhrmann’s movies.”   and there’s no way that he’s missing the opportunity to dress up as ROMEO.   being as obsessed with shakespeare as alex is,  no bribery will be needed to put him in that shining armor.   “see?   so you will be the juliet to my romeo,  after all,”   he muses with a laugh,  holding the door to the café open for her.

[sarcaasmic]

Ellie smiles at his dramaticism. "Oh yes, we definitely should make cookies, wouldn't want to disappoint Santa," she plays along. She'd never say no to making cookies, chocolate chip, sugar, gingerbread, whatever they decided they Santa would want.

Ellie looks at him like it was obvious: "Yes, right up there with horror, but we are not going to be watching anything scary while staying in a cabin in the woods, so romcoms are definitely in our plans now." Yes, she'd said romcoms, plural, if she could get him to watch more than one, that is. She just had to pick the right one to watch first.

She smiles, her nose crinkling a little in excitement at the challenge. "Oh, I can do that," she lets him pull her towards himself, willingly leaning into it so she can get comfortable again. Ellie tilts her head up to look at his face during his confession; she sighs, "I'm disappointed...," she sighs dramatically and looks away, "but not surprised," she adds.

"Alright, so we could watch Pretty Woman then...," she contemplates. "But I don't know if that's the one I want to start with... it'll be the second one we watch." She takes a second to go through a list of romcoms in her mind then jumps ever so slightly when she gets an idea. "Oh! Ten Things I Hate About You, it's based on one of Shakespeare's plays.".

“what about the presents,  though?   i don’t think jeff bezos,  i mean,  santa will reach us in this weather,”   he muses sadly,  pouting dramatically even though he has a little something for her,  tucked away between his sweaters,  hidden from view.   “but we should probably still bake cookies for him,  right?   just in case?”   a soft smile tugging at his lips,  hand reaching for her knee,  squeezing gently because the silence in answer to his question about her family speaks louder than any words.   he hates to see her like this,  know she’s hurting inside.   “we’ll have the best christmas ever,”   he promises,  reaching out to tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear,  his palm briefly cupping her smooth cheek.  

“oh,  are they?”   he has to stifle a laugh,  gazing up at her with amusement written all over his features.   she looks so cute when she’s so defensive.   annoyed.   he can’t help but tease her some more.   “alright,  that i can agree with.   there’s comfort in predictability.   but other than that?   show me one good romantic comedy and change my mind,”   he challenges,  grabbing gently on the soft fabric of his her crewneck and trying to pull her close again.   “i have a confession to make.   one that might end our friendship.   okay,  so…   i’ve never actually watched pretty woman.”

[sarcaasmic]

Ellie glances over at the various glass bottles but shakes her head. "No thanks; I'll probably grab some water in a little bit." She understands her father now; it was easy to see alcohol as a means to distance yourself from brutal reality. She didn't judge Alex for it either. She'd even allowed herself to indulge in that feeling a couple times, early on when she'd first spent all those months alone in her district's Victors' Village. She hadn't a drop since then except for the occasional capital party, where she was expected to at least have some champagne or wine.

She gives a shrug, "As well as I can be, I guess..." She doesn't want to be vague about it; she knows she can trust Alex with her thoughts, and she knows they share similar experiences. Yet it's so hard to put into words the heaviness she feels. The helplessness. She's aware of the restlessness in the districts, a nervous stirring in the capitol, yet still those horrible feelings persist.

"Back in ten, I was always warned not to get attached to any of the animals; we weren't even 'sposed to name them. They were just meat destined for slaughter." She explains, "But I did it anyway; I couldn't help it."

"Now I wish I would've listened," then she wouldn't be so practiced in getting attached. "Might've made this all easier in some way." She's sure dissociating herself from the loss of an animal was far different than that of a person, but she knows it gets easier with practice.

She'd seen the way her mentor had looked at her.

ever since he left the arena,  alex has been struggling with trust and vulnerability.   he’s naturally suspicious of people’s intentions,  always questioning whether they have some sort of hidden motive —   otherwise,  why would they want to befriend him?   in the capitol,  where manipulation and power games are constant,  genuine connections are few and far between.   and yet here he is,  his tired muscles relaxing as a wave of relief washes over his body when ellie climbs into his bed.   if what they have isn’t genuine,  then what is?   he’s been drawn to her for a reason he can’t quite explain.   it’s trauma bonding,  he tells himself,  figuring their friendship isn’t built on blind faith like most but rather on these shared experiences and that’s what makes it more solid.   

there are nights when he daydreams of the impossible —   what it would be like to take her out for dinner?   or stroll down the colorful streets of the capitol with her hand in his?   but then reality crawls its way into his heart,  the fear of losing someone close to his heart again weighing heavily on him,  reminding him that trust and relationships are a dangerous gamble.   “would you like something to drink?”   he asks quietly,  glancing toward the collection of bottles on his nightstand without a hint of shame in his pale blue eyes.   some almost completely empty,  others still mostly full.   he knows why haymitch drinks now.   it’s impossible not to.   “i feel like…   to save yourself,  at some point,  you just stop caring for them.”   the tributes.   a human brain can only handle so much before it desensitizes itself to the horrors.   “that’s exactly what it’s like.   you relive it year after year after year.   the faces around you change,  but everything else stays the same.”   he looks over at her,  concern written across his features.   “how are you holdin’ up,  ellie?”

[sarcaasmic]

"I mean..., " Ellie teases back as she looks away for a moment, 'Will you be the Juliet to my Romeo?' could be interpreted as such, though she hoped he'd meant it with a little less tragedy in mind. "I guess that'll have to do," she replies and even throws in a fake little pout. She couldn't say no to free food. Maybe an iced drink would help cool her off since that little wink he'd sent her way certainly didn't help in getting rid of the flush in her cheeks.

Ellie tilts her head slightly in amusement, "Well, it would be hilarious to see you in a Scooby Doo costume," there's a pause, "But why would I be Velma? If anything, you'd be Velma and I'd be shaggy" She had nothing against the girl, but she saw no similarities except- she scoffs, "It's the glasses, isn't it?" she shakes her head. She knows it's not that serious, it wasn't like Alex shared many similarities to Scooby, a literal dog.

Now to think about what couples matching costumes they could go as. "I mean Romeo and Juliet's not a bad idea actually, we could do the 1996 movie version," she suggests. "With the wings and the armor," she adds. "I'm sure we could come up with something else though if you don't want to," give her like an hour and she could probably come up with a multitude of ideas for them.

alex can’t stifle the smirk that tugs at the corner of his lips,  nor can he control the wave of warmth that’s rapidly overtaking his cheeks.   there’s a fine line between a good-natured,  friendly banter and flirtatious comments,  and he’s suddenly aware that they’ve most likely just crossed said line.   “and how did i word it before?   didn’t sound like a marriage proposal,  did it?”   he inquires with a chuckle,  running his fingers through his sandy curls and shaking his head.   “will you accept a coffee and a donut instead of a diamond ring?   don’t think i can afford more than that right now.”   joking as they stroll down the crowded avenue,  headed for his favorite indie bookstore that also serves as a café.   “well,  that depends.”   on what kind of costumes she has in mind,  of course.   his heart does a little backflip upon hearing that she’d be willing to go with him to the party,  a warm tingle spreading down his back.   “now i’m intrigued,  tell me more.   do you plan on going as velma?   are you mustering the courage to ask me to put on a scooby-doo costume?”   he gently elbows her,  glancing down and even winking at her.   if truth be told,  he’d go as that rat from ratatouille if it made her happy. 

[sarcaasmic]

“Right,” she nods and gives him a smile. Being able to spend Christmas in each other’s company was the important part. They may be stuck in a cabin in the snowy woods of Maine, but she had no doubt that they could make the best of it.

She shrugs at his question about family Christmas traditions but makes a note to ask him if his family has any of their own. The last time she had a proper family Christmas was when she was eight. The early years after their divorce was especially uncomfortable, and every year after that, the holidays didn't feel right.

Spending the holidays with Alex felt right.

That little kiss to her head and the way he pulls her in closer make her stomach do happy somersaults. She regrets pulling away the instant she does, but she has a point to make.

Her jaw drops dramatically, and she pulls her legs underneath herself fully so she’s now kneeling on the cushions, facing him, her arms crossed. She will die on this hill. “Romantic comedies happen to be one of my favorite genres, actually,” she replies, romcoms are right up there with horror for her.

“Okay, maybe they’re predictable, but they're easy picks when you want a feel-good movie,” she explains. “The couple always ends up together in the end; it's nice. Especially when the actors have great chemistry," she smiles and easily comes up with an example, "Like Richard Gere and Julia Roberts.".

“this is not what i had in mind when i tried to picture our first christmas,”   he admits with a chuckle,  shaking his head.   as someone who likes to be in control and appreciates perfection,  it always frustrates him when things don’t go as planned,  but he’s learning that there’s plenty of fun in spontaneity,  too.   “but i’m looking forward to spending it with you.   maybe it won’t be ideal,  but we’ll be together and that’s all that counts,  right?”   he smiles against her hair,  kissing the top of her head as his arms curl a little tighter around her petite frame.   she looks so cute in that oversized crewneck.   there’s something so intimate about sharing clothes with another person,  and so it’s really no surprise that alex’s heart skips a beat every time he looks at ellie.

“it’s okay.   i’m serious.   i’m happy to be here with you.   we’ll make the best of it.”   the nilsen’s family reunions can be a bit intense.   he’s the oldest of four boys,  and with his mom gone and his father’s mental health still rather fragile,  it’s his responsibility to organize everything.   from buying presents to decorating the house,  cooking and baking and cleaning up afterwards.   it’s a lot.   maybe his absence will teach his brothers something.   “does your family have any special christmas traditions?”   he inquires out of sheer curiosity,  hoping to press his cheek to her head and close his eyes for a second when she begins to shift in his arms.   he leans back,  reluctant to let her go but doing so anyway,  and watches her with amusement.   “oh,  god…   please,  don’t tell me you’re into romcoms.   but they’re so predictable!”    

[sarcaasmic]

Ellie smiles softly at his response as she nods, not of happiness but a bittersweet feeling. She's glad that he's willing to let her try and help, but she wished she didn't need to, she wished their nightmares would stop. They'd both escaped their games, but the horrors never ended. What they'd gone through had changed their brain chemistry permanently. The capitol didn't care though, even after the game was over, they expected their victors to continue as entertainment. Expected to do as their told, not show any sort of adverse reaction to the public. It was all so exhausting, yet at the same time it led to so many sleepless nights.

Ellie walks over to the right side of the bed, pulls back the blanket and carefully sits on the mattress. One not too different from hers, just with different colored fabrics covering it. She adjusts the pillows slightly so that they can support her back then pulls the blanket over her lap.

"I don't know how the others have done it for so many years...,", she was a mentor last year and just one time had been painful enough. She'd been expected to take over the roll when the capitol asked her to. So as soon as the previous mentor, her mentor, was allowed to stop, they did. Now she understood why they'd leapt at the chance to quit.

"It's their way of trying to remind us that the games don't end, that just because we won, we aren't free," she sighs, she wants to tell him something more reassuring but she's at a loss of comforting words, she could only express empathy, "It's like, even if we win the games, we never truly leave them," they could never fully detach themselves from it all. Even in their dreams...

alex was no stranger to nightmares even prior to the hunger games,  but now that he’s had the chance to come back to the capitol a few times and act as a mentor to children who are being sent off to slaughter…   not a night goes by that they don’t plague him.   he often wakes up screaming,  drenched in cold sweat from head to toe,  sheets tangled around his limbs.   back when his mother was still alive,  she’d give him a cup of chamomile tea with a few drops of some sweet syrup,  and he’d be asleep within a few minutes.   not a single dream could disturb his peace then.   part of him will always miss those days.   the simpler times.

“thank you,  ellie.   i think i could use some company,”   the blonde breathes with a shy albeit grateful smile,  pale blue eyes shining in the golden glow cast by the night light,   “but i won’t let you sleep on a chair,  don’t be ridiculous.”   shaking his head,  he scoots to the left and gently pats the right side of his bed.   it’s big enough to fit four people,  and with separate blankets,  they won’t even have to breathe near each other.   “can you imagine doing this for the rest of our lives?   coming here every year,  telling these children that we’re here for them,  that we’re rooting for them only to watch them die,  it’s…   mentoring is a whole different form of torture.”

[sarcaasmic]

Ellie gives him a look, a slight raise of her brows with a tilt of her chin downward; he knows what he said, how it sounded. Her hands eventually drop from her face, the attempt to cool off her skin with her hands is futile. "Right... you know that's not how you worded it before," she points out. The way he'd originally proposed the idea didn't exactly scream friendship. She almost swats his hand away when he pokes her rosy cheek but instead settles on glaring at him.

Ellie smiles however at Alex's dramatics, watching him rub his arm like she'd actually socked him, "Oh, you poor thing." she replies, there's a slight laugh, her tone heavy with sarcasm.

"But yeah, we should go together," she agrees, more serious now. If she was going to a party at least she'd be going with him. Someone who knew that sometimes a breather was necessary, someone who wouldn't mind stepping away from the crowds and the party games for a few minutes if it got overwhelming.

"Does that mean we’re wearing matching costumes?" she asks. "Cause I should warn you that I'm pretty serious about those," she was not the type to just wear cat ears and claim to be dressed up as a cat. There was no shame in doing that but that just wasn't her style, Halloween was her favorite holiday after all.

“what?   what did i say?”   he knows exactly what he said.   he had been shamelessly flirting with her and simply couldn’t bite his tongue when her cheeks turned rosy.   she looks way too adorable like this.   “i was just offering…   we really should go to that halloween party together.   not as a couple.   as friends.   friends can do stuff like that,  too.   no need to get all red ‘bout it.”   he doesn’t even try to stifle or muffle the boisterous laugh that erupts from between his lips,  and not even the smack to his shoulder can keep him from teasing her.   if anything,  it has the opposite effect —   encouraging him to be even more obnoxious.   “oh,  but it’s definitely your color.”   to further emphasize his point,  he pokes her cheek with his fingertip,  amusement written all over his face.   “my poor arm.   you’ve definitely left a bruise.   it’s called abuse,  ellie.”   a sigh leaves his chest,  hand dramatically rubbing the sore spot through the fabric of his turtleneck sweater.