#int. alex nilsen

[sarcaasmic]

//cont. from here

Since she gew up in Indiana, Ellie's no stranger to winter weather, but she'd never been snowed in quite like this. Inside, the fire and layers of blankets kept the pair warm, but going outside felt like instant hypothermia, especially this late in the day. Hence why she wore a crewneck she'd stolen from Alex a few weeks ago, fleece-lined leggings, and fuzzy white socks covered in penguins with Christmas lights.

Ellie smiles softly at his hyperbole; even if he's just exaggerating, she doesn't think staying with him in this place until May would be all that bad. "We'll just have our own little Christmas," she shrugs. They'll be stuck for a few days at least; even if the weather lightens up for them to go outside, it does't necessarily mean the sky or roads would be clear for travel. She wasn't exactly looking forward to Christmas with her own family anyway. "But I am sorry you won't be able to celebrate with your family," she adds; she didn't want to seem like she was dismissing the fact that he wasn't home for Christmas either.

His earlier comment finally clicks, and Ellie shifts in her spot, no longer resting against Alex, instead opting to prop herself against the couch cushions for a moment so she can look him in the eyes. "Wait... back it up, did you say dumb romcoms?"

[sarcaasmic]

//closed starter for @4lexnilsen

For Alex and Ellie, being couped up in a cabin isn't so bad; their two-night stay looked to be getting an extension thanks to the extreme weather. Yes, it's probably not great that they're not spending the holidays with their respective families, but they are taking the opportunity to make a little Christmas weekend of their own at least. Which Ellie is loving.

They'd watched movies pretty late into the evening last night, and after each of them had fallen asleep a few times, they'd gone to bed. Then they'd gotten up for the day—Ellie a lot little later than Alex—, had breakfast, watched TV whilst laying on the couch once more, played some card games, and talked. Eventually they'd gotten back on the topic of cookies and figured today was a good day for baking. So here they were in the kitchen, working on their first batch. Besides their voices, the house was a little too quiet, so while Alex was grabbing pans and ingredients, Ellie had decided to turn on one of her playlists.

Her normal playlist played through the TV in the living room; it's connected to her phone, which she'd tucked into the pocket of her pajama shorts. She'd been too worried about getting flour or frosting in her Bluetooth speaker, so it stayed upstairs in her backpack for now, safe from any baking accidents.

After about five songs, the tone of the playlist suddenly shifts, indie rock turns into something cheerier. She has to bite her teeth into her bottom lip to keep from smiling too much as she tries to focus on cutting cookies. Meanwhile, Mariah Carey begins to sing All I Want for Christmas is You. She doesn't spare a glance at Alex next to her, knowing full well she won't be able to keep it together when she gets a look at him. "I think these are going to turn out pretty good," she comments while rolling out a section of sugar cookie dough. She doesn't just say this to distract from her little joke, she'd gotten a taste of cookie dough just before emptying the bowl of it onto the flour-coated countertop.

She's well aware of Alex's distaste for most, if not all, Christmas music. Sometimes she could understand it, especially when she remembers her time in choir when they'd sing the same three Christmas songs to go caroling every single year. However, she wasn't a hater either, unlike somebody. So, she'd queued up a few holly-jolly songs just for Alex.

[sarcaasmic]

@4lexnilsen sent "it's been a while since i slept through the night without any nightmares"

Ellie knew the feeling well; after experiencing the games, it was rare to have dreams that weren't at least a little stressful or worrying, if not full-on nightmares. So, she wasn't surprised by Alex's confession, but she was glad he felt comfortable enough to admit something like that.

"I can stay with you tonight if you want," she offers as she leans against the doorframe. Even if she couldn't prevent the bad dreams from happening—as much as she wanted to—she could at least try and ease the idea of falling asleep and be there if he wakes up in the middle of the night. Sometimes the worst part of a nightmare wasn't the dream itself, it was the feeling of waking up alone.

Those nights after she first won the sixty-seventh hunger games had been the worst. Even once she was done with the victory tour and back in her district. It was too quiet. It didn't feel like home. Despite all the furnishings and touches of decor, the house felt empty, cold.

"I'll bring a chair or something," she adds. She could always grab a chair and curl up in it while the other hopefully dozes off. She figures she could take the time to write in her journal and if she did fall asleep, she'd sleep light enough that she couldn't easily wake up if Alex needed anything.

[sarcaasmic]

@4lexnilsen sent “You’re really red right now.”

The earlier words had caught her off guard, how could she not be at least a little surprised, a little flustered, a little red in the face. "Oh shut up," Ellie says with a roll of her eyes, the edges of her mouth turning up into a smile just enough for dimples to form at the corners; betraying her attempt at seeming truly annoyed. She looks at Alex for a moment to make sure the playful smack to his shoulder lands then looks away again as she tries to use the back of her hands to cool down her cheeks.

She wished the colors on her face didn't give away her emotions so easily. Her cheeks tended to swiftly turn pink if not a rosy red when she was flustered or in the rare case that she'd worked out and was short of breath. She'd done no exercise recently, so there was no denying she was feeling the former.

Knowing her cheeks had visibly flushed only made them warmer, despite her efforts to cool her skin off. "Well, you can't just say something like that," she defends herself.

[sarcaasmic]

//@4lexnilsen sent: " i've brought half a pharmacy, enough movies and boardgames to last us a decade, and every single snack i could fit into the basket at the grocery store. so sit your butt down, eat your soup, and try and make the most of your bed rest for the next week, will you? "

Yesterday, she'd been fine, she'd left the apartment to run errands, did some work on some personal projects, and even did some cleaning with no issue. This morning, though, Ellie woke up feeling like she'd been run over. Her limbs felt heavy, her brain foggy. She'd struggled to get out of bed except once to use the bathroom and another time to turn on the pedestal fan in the corner of her room when she started to feel like every inch of her body was coated in a thick layer of sweat.

When Alex showed up, she'd met him at the door. Her curls are haphazardly tied in a bun at the base of her neck, glasses abandoned on her nightstand, and she's still in her pajamas—a loose t-shirt and running shorts—despite the time of day. She hopes she doesn't look as bad as she feels, thinks maybe she should've fixed her hair at least or changed her clothes, then she thinks it's Alex, and she doesn't worry so much.

She'd tried to convince him to not come over, texted him that she'd be fine on her own, that she didn't want to spread her germs to him. They were half-hearted protests, in truth, she didn't want to be alone.

She doesn't like being sick. Well, she figures no one likes the feeling of being ill, it's the feel of needing help that' the worst for her. Growing up, she always dealt with sickness on her own, took care of herself, got through it alone. So, asking for help feels like she's putting the burden of her ailment on them, but when he makes it clear that he isn't going anywhere, she gives in.

She does as she's told and slides carefully onto a barstool set in front of the island counter. She dips her spoon into the soup and then lifts it to her lips to blow on it. "You didn't need to do all this," she gestures to the bags he's brought over with a nudge of her chin in the direction, then takes a bite of the soup. The warm broth soothes the dryness of her throat, plus she had yet to actually eat anything today, so eventually the rumble in her stomach would settle too.

"So, what drugs did you smuggle for me?" she asks with a soft smile. She hadn't bothered to take anything yet; the thought hadn't crossed her mind until after a trip to the bathroom and it felt too far of a walk from her bed to her meds all the way in the medicine cabinet. Then again, she wasn't sure she even had what she'd need for this; the only bottles she could recall were her anxiety meds and some multivitamins.

[sarcaasmic]

She smiles at the bigfoot talk, "Could be visiting his buddies," she comments. She knew it bigfoot was not a true danger, but it does bring attention to what could be out in those woods. Cryptids didn't worry her, but people did. The comment about them still having power has her looking at him again, "That's what I was thinking, but don't jinx it," she gives him a warning look. If they lost power at any point during their stay, she was going to blame him now. She'd survived without power before but that was a much different situation.

"Couple stays at a rental house and get hunted by masked killers," she explains as concisely as she can. She didn't want to explain too much as to avoid spoilers. Ellie looks to the tv as the movie plays but still listens to Alex's explanation of seven, she makes an interested hum. "Maybe we can have another movie night once we get back home?" she suggests. They could watch the scarier stuff in somewhere more familiar.

"Mhm," she gives no further explanation, he'll get context eventually. As they both focus on the television, Ellie is reminded why this movie was an early case of bi-panic for her. Julia Stiles, Heath Ledger, and Joseph Gordon-Levitt all in one film, c'mon. It takes some effort to focus on the movie, not that she was uncomfortable like this with Alex, quite the opposite. It just felt so natural, even as he twirled a stand of her blonde curls between his fingers. She was picky about who she let touch her hair.

alex’s eyes meet ellie’s,  brimming with amusement as he can’t help but wonder if it’s concern that he’s seeing on her face.   for someone who likes scary movies,  she seems extremely easy to spook.   and god,  are her reactions adorable!   “well,  last time i checked big foot lived in vermont.   i don’t think he visits maine often,”   he teases,  his eyes gleaming as he waits for ellie to realize the two states aren’t all that far away from one another.   lips pressed together,  he has to stifle that goofy grin that threatens to overtake his features.   “look,  we’re lucky we still got power.   it could have been a lot worse.”   he’s not easily scared,  but even he would feel somewhat uneasy if the lights went off. 

“i don’t think i’ve seen this one.   what’s it about?”   alex asks,  not realizing that he’s rambling and probably making it difficult for both of them to focus on the movie.   there’s something about ellie that turns him into a chatterbox.   he just wants to talk and talk and talk.   “seven isn’t really a horror horror movie.   i’d say it’s more of a psychological thriller.   we can put it on later.   it’s about two detectives,  morgan freeman and brad pitt,  who try to solve a bunch of crazy murders inspired by the seven deadly sins.”   that can be his pick.   he’ll think on it.   though,  maybe watching a movie about a psychopathic killer isn’t really a good idea given their current situation.   

eventually,  pale blue eyes focus on the screen,  trying to pay attention —   the cast looks promising.   heath ledger is one of alex’s favorite actors.   and so for a moment,  he manages to stay silent.   his fingers absently twirling a strand of ellie’s hair.   the weight of her hand on his chest,  the warmth radiating from it,  it has his heart beating faster.   she’s his best friend,  and yet here he is,  with butterflies in his stomach because she’s snuggling up to him.   what’s wrong with him?   “the white guy knew his shit?”   he laughs,  thankful for the distraction because otherwise he’d be coming to some truly wild conclusions.   but does she feel it,  too?   does her stomach feel all weird and fluttery when he’s near?   he can’t help but wonder.

[sarcaasmic]

The dryness in her mouth returns quickly as they talk more about the games and their role in it, so she takes a few more drinks of water before setting the glass on the nightstand on her side of the bed. Normally, she avoids sharing her thoughts like this, she simply lets herself dwell in it on her own. She used to share more, but her team from the capitol looked at it differently, and it didn't feel right to complain to those in her district because at least she survived, at least she had a nice home, full meals, and clean clothes... With Alex though, she could feel her thoughts unravel, there's no pressure to hold them in around him. She's found someone who would not only listen but could empathize. He understands her. Sees her as a person.

She nods along to his words again and thinks about how things could definitely be better... way better. There could be no games at all, a life where children didn't have to fight for their lives to entertain the rich, people wouldn't have to starve or work until their bodies gave out. A life of peace.

Maybe someday...

The gentle hold of his hand and the stroke of his thumb against her skin are calming. She gives his hand a gentle squeeze when he admits to feeling like an inadequate mentor. She didn't think anyone could feel good as a mentor until the moment your tribute lives, she doubts even those from the career district feel good every year. Even though their tributes are trained, they're still children, and even if their district wins, one out of two they'd sent in will die. Then it starts all over the next year. No one truly wins here. "We're all just doing what we can," she says softly.

She smiles softly at the thought of showing Alex around Ten, and in turn, the possibility of visiting Twelve with him. "When I can," she agrees. Sometimes it's hard to leave her home in the victor's village to face the world. She tended to hole herself up for days at a time, despite the loneliness of her home, it's also sometimes hard to walk around in Ten, to see the faces of those who'd lost their loved ones in the game. Especially when she sees the family of her fellow District Ten tribute. The guilt of survival weighed on her the most when thinking of him.

Ellie smiles a little once again as Alex divulges more about his life to her, she wishes she knew more, hopes that she can learn everything about him, "That's sweet. Did you have a favorite?" she asks. She tries to picture the bakery, the marketplace, the pretty landscape beyond the border. She's thankful her own lakes and fields aren't fenced off, though she presumes they're only like that because of the animals that graze and drink there. She's sure they'd be off-limits otherwise. "Maybe, once everything... settles... we could visit each other," she suggests.

“you’re welcome,”   alex says quietly,  clearing his throat.   he always feels so different when ellie’s around,  constantly wondering whether he’s making a fool of himself and blushing like a schoolboy.   she just has this genuinely sweet smile.   something that’s so very rare in the capitol,  and makes him feel weak in the knees.   “yeah,  things could always be worse.   saying it like this is cold comfort,  though.   i mean,  things could also be much better,  right?”   he isn’t used to opening up,  prefers to bottle every emotion up so that it can never be used against him,  but this girl…   she has him wishing he could confess all his sins and share every single worry with her.

as she lays her hand in his,  his heart does a little backflip.   it feels good to spend time with someone who’s been through similar trauma,  who understands you and knows what you’re dealing with.   the pad of his thumb stroking her skin,  tenderly as if she were made of glass.   “my kids stand no chance.   i look at them and all i see in their eyes is this all-consuming fear,  no fight.   i don’t think they’ve had a proper meal in their lives.   so,  this time i’m…   i’m trying to go with the latter and distance myself.   they deserve a better mentor,  i guess,”   he sighs heavily,  glancing briefly at the bottle of liquor on his nightstand and reconsidering pouring himself one.   but he doesn’t want to get drunk and pass out,  not tonight.   

closing his eyes,  alex does his best to picture the things that ellie’s describing and a small smile tugs at the corners of his lips.   “sounds like such a beautiful place.   wish i could find a way to visit one day.   the part about lakes seems particularly appealing,  and the barnyard.   we used to have that,  like,  decades ago at twelve,  too.   the hob.   now it’s really just a market,  a place where people trade and sell products.   is that what you do when this masquerade is over?   when you get to go home?”   swim in lakes,  hang out with friends out in the fields,  dance at the barnyard?   he doesn’t know much about her because they rarely get to talk like this,  but he’d love to know more.   she’s fascinating.

“well,  it’s…   covered in coal dust.   the part of twelve where i come from,  the seam.   there’s coal dust everywhere.   but there’s also that merchant,  nicer neighborhood,  where people actually have food to put on their tables and there’s this bakery that my mom always took me to for my birthday.   we never had much money but on that one day,  i could pick whatever i wanted,”   he rambles on,  briefly forgetting where they are and going back to those simpler times when he was so young and naive and didn’t notice what exactly was wrong with the world.   “there’s this fence that’s supposed to keep us in,  but beyond it?   that’s the truly beautiful part of twelve.   we have woods and mountains,  a lake,  too…   though,  it’s far away and you don’t want to get caught sneaking out into the wilderness.   there’s punishment for that.”   death.   flogging if one’s lucky.   

[sarcaasmic]

"I didn't say it was a flaw," she corrects him. She, in fact, is one of those girls that love that he's taller and it's not just because he can reach the shelves that she can't. She definitely prefers Romeo and Juliet over the Scooby-gang for just them. If it were a group costume it could be so iconic, but just them showing up without the rest of mystery incorporated might feel a little off. "Romeo and Juliet it is then." she agrees.

She lets out a quiet exhale of amusement, "Uncultured swines...," she mimics under her breathe, not in a way to make fun of him this time; his word choice was just entertaining. She appreciates his confidence in her but knows it'll still be a little intimidating meeting them. "I'm sure I'll be fine" She's not sure. Whatsoever. Then she glances at Alex and knows she'd be fine.

Ellie focuses her view on the menu when Alex asks if she has any siblings, "Oh yeah, have I not mentioned him before...?" It's not surprising, she wasn't one to talk about her family a ton, didn't like ruining the mood. Her brother though was a much easier topic, "Just an older brother, Arthur, goes by Artie," she explains. "Probably doesn't know who Baz Luhrmann is either," she tries to lighten up a little. Out of all her close family members, she liked him the most. "He lived with my mom after the divorce, so we didn't see each other as often as we probably should have but we reconnected when he moved out," Despite their distance physically, the Owens siblings managed to stay in contact. "He's a boxer," she adds.

“oh,  please,  don’t try to make it sound like a character flaw.   girls love how tall i am,”   he jokingly counters,  even if he’s far from being a casanova and an expert on what women find attractive.   he’s an introvert who always carries a book under his arm,  and is rather cautious when it comes to falling in love.   he’s only ever been in two serious relationships,  which isn’t really all that impressive.   “you know,  on a second thought…   your idea seems a lot better,  less embarrassing.”   romeo and juliet.   it’s a classic,  he thinks.   and who says two friends can’t go to a party dressed as the ultimate star-crossed lovers?

“luckily for me,  my brothers are uncultured swines so i doubt they’ll know who baz luhrmann is.”   he puts their playful banter on hold for a moment,  his features softening and heart melting at the genuine enthusiasm behind her words.   he’s a family man through and through.   he practically raised his brothers.   and so hearing ellie say that she’d love to meet them one day fills him with sheer happiness.   “please,  they’re gonna love you.   consider yourself warned,  though.   they can be quite…   intense.”   talking on top of each other,  arguing,  kicking one another under the table.   and yes,  they are all grown men now.   “what about you,  ellie?   do you have any siblings?”   he wonders aloud,  eyes locked on the menu as he contemplates his choices.

[sarcaasmic]

Ellie gives him a light side-eye at his guess about it being Wham!, his guess is right on the nose this time. "Maybe...," she shrugs, acting as if she isn't sure, like she hadn't made the playlist herself, as if she hadn't come up with it on the night she found out they were spending a wintery weekend in a cabin together.

She smiles at his annoyance and can't resist making glances at him. Though she does make sure to blatantly stare at him for a second when he expresses disbelief in her threat, "Whatever, you're lucky we need the flour for more dough," she shakes her head and goes back to cookie cutting. He did in fact know her well.

Ellie had been more merciful with some songs on the playlist, quite a few were instrumentals at least, and she'd even avoided saxophone when she could. Though it wasn't time for those songs yet. Mariah's voice fades during their bickering, and so begins Wham!'s turn.

"Oh, mhm, Ellie Jade's flour-covered face, how disgraceful," she jokes. When their hips bump, she scoots a little so he can cut cookies too. Though she doesn't scoot much, their elbows just centimeters from knocking every time she moves the cookie cutter around on the flattened dough. "I'll just tell everyone you're a Mariah Carey hater," she threatens back as she sets the cookies she's cut so far onto a parchment paper-covered sheet pan.

When she's got enough cookies on her side, she takes a break to finally clean the flour off her face. "Send all her fans after you," she adds as she takes the couple of steps to the sink and wets a paper towel to try and wipe off any flour still stuck to her skin.

“please,  mariah is bad enough.   i’m not sure if i can handle more than that.   it’s wham,  isn’t it?   a christmas playlist without last christmas is like…   a proposal without a ring.   a book without a bookmark.”   it’s pure sarcasm,  and still he can’t help but laugh upon hearing her attempts at defending rudolph the red-nosed reindeer soundtrack,  finding the whole conversation beyond amusing.   especially now that she’s got flour smeared over her visage.   he just can’t take her seriously.   “hm?   what’s that?”   he grins as she retaliates,  her threat only encouraging the playful glint in his eyes.   

“go ahead,  dump the whole tub of flour on me,  show me what you’ve got,”   he teases,  laughing under his breath as he picks up the christmas tree-shaped cookie cutter.   as nonchalant as ever,  knowing she doesn’t have it in her to just cover him in flour from head to toe.   “but that picture’s staying in my phone forever,  and maybe one day i’ll post it.   who knows?”   it’s en empty threat as he would never actually post something that she doesn’t want online,  but her reactions make it so fun to torment her.   “i’ll wait for you to become famous and then i’ll drop it to gain publicity.”   he doesn’t even realize that she’s taken a few pictures of him,  too.   too busy pressing the cutter into the dough,  hip gently bumping hers to make her scoot and make some room for him.

[sarcaasmic]

She’s happy with Alex’s response, minus the comment about Bigfoot. She lifts her head to make eye contact with him. "Bigfoot?" Really?” She shakes her head then rests her cheek on his chest once more. As much as she loved scary movies, they still messed with her thoughts a little. She knew that when they slept tonight, if the place was too quiet, the slightest noise would have her mind jumping to the worst conclusions.

"Hmm, probably The Strangers,” one of the worst ones to think about while they’re in a rental cabin. “Hmm, I don’t think I’ve seen that one,” she replies in reference to Seven. As much as she loved horror movies, she had a ton still on her watchlist.

Alex’s hands on her back and arm feel so right. Like they’re made to hold each other like this. If she could help it, she’d stay right here for the rest of the trip even if her legs fell asleep. One of her arms is tucked between the back of the couch, resting lightly along Alex’s side. The other lays folded against his torso. She’s thankful for the long sleeves, otherwise, Alex might be able to feel the light goosebumps spreading across her skin.

It takes a second for her to register that he’d said something. “Mhm, the dead white guy knew his shit,” she snickers a little at her own joke. “Quote from the movie, sorta, you’ll see,” she adds with a shrug.

“yeah,  of course,  it’s okay,  ellie.”   he appreciates the question,  though.   how mindful and considerate she is of his feelings.   “you’re my best friend.   who else am i supposed to do these things with?   and i mean,  my options are really limited at the moment.   it’s either you or the big foot,  and i don’t trust him to follow the recipe,”   he lightly teases,  absently rubbing her back.   he insists that she’s his best friend but his heart begs to disagree —   beating faster every time she’s near,  melting as soon as she lays her head on his chest,  panging whenever she’s not with him.   “what’s your favorite one?   slasher,  i mean.”   he finds it fascinating how she can enjoy both,  romantic comedies and horrors.   

“my favorite psychological thriller is probably the one with morgan freeman and brad pitt?   seven?   the first time i watched it,  i had that exact reaction.   what the fuck did i just watch?   but it was so good.”   he loves movies that either tell a very complex story and there’s a lot of character development,  or the ones that make him exercise his brain.   still,  he really isn’t against watching something light and predictable or scary and mostly plotless.   he’d watch anything with ellie.   “i don’t know how i’ll make up for this huge flaw…   i’ll have to find a way,”   he chuckles,  his other hand coming up to draw lazy circles on her arm.   if he could press pause and live in this moment forever,  he would do just that.   “yeah?   see?   that only further proves that his works are timeless.   they still inspire people to this day.”   fire crackling and popping in the distance,  illuminating their faces.   the tv coming to life.   and suddenly,  alex realizes that he wouldn’t want to be anywhere but here with ellie.

[sarcaasmic]

"Oh ha ha, you're the actual giant here," she quips back with a light poke to his side. This teasing back and forth felt so natural, they just understood each other. It was like an unspoken acknowledgement that neither was serious. The hard part was the divide between teasing and flirting; if anyone asked, they were so not flirting! They were just friends picking on each other that was it.

Yeah...

Ellie nods, "Oh yeah," she agrees. Honestly, if he didn't shave, she was sure this theoretical costume wouldn't be affected. Just because bare legs are visible doesn't mean they have to be shaved; it's a personal preference in the end. She doesn't judge.

"Oh, true," she nods. "I have a good conversation starter now. Hey, so nice to meet you. Did you know your brother loves Baz Luhrmann’s movies?" She smiles sweetly. She drops the humorous tone for a moment, "Joke aside, I am excited to meet your brothers one day." She's heard so much about them, and despite her tendency to be nervous around new people, she's confident she'll be fine with Alex there.

"Hmm, a cinnamon roll does sound good," she agrees as she peaks over at the case, slightly obscured by another customer. She glances over the options she can see from her spot, but another inhale of that sweet, sugary cinnamon scent filling the air helps confirm her decision. She looks toward the sign listing drink options; after looking them over, her mind's leaning toward an apple cider slushie.

if anyone asks,  the rosiness that’s spreading rapidly across the apples of alex’s cheeks is caused solely by the cool breeze,  definitely not by the fact that he gets to walk down the street with his arm around the most beautiful girl in the world.   whoever ends up marrying her will be the luckiest man alive.   “five foot five.   right.   what a giant you are.   guess with that height,  you can only go as big foot,  no other costume will fit you.   or shaq,”   he teases with a laugh,  winking at her even if he fully expects her to elbow him in the ribs for that one.   and god,  she’s got the cutest laugh.   “oh?   now we’re talking.   so,  i only shave above the knee?   from my knee up to what?   mid-thigh?   is that how girls do it?”   he playfully inquires,  even though he doesn’t really care what girls do with their bodies.   if someone wants to shave,  they shave.   if they don’t,  they don’t.   whatever.   who gives a fuck?   only weak men who think women are plastic dolls meant to entertain them care about stuff like that.   fuck those assholes.   “your other friends?   my brothers when you finally meet them?”   if his younger brothers knew that he liked those girly movies,  they’d still make fun of him in the nursing home.   arm reluctantly falling from around her as they step inside,  the warm aroma of freshly brewed coffee and sweet smell of cinnamon-dusted pastries fills the air.   “do you already know what you want to get or do you want to take a closer look at what they’ve got?   i’ve heard those cinnamon rolls are real good,  might try it,”   he rambles on,  refraining from taking her hand into his own as they stand in line,  pale blue eyes fixated on the variety of sweets behind the glass.

[sarcaasmic]

Ellie takes the cup from him, shaking her head at his offer of soda. "No, this'll do," she gives a weak smile. She takes a sip to try and soothe the dryness in her mouth. "Thanks," she adds afterwards.

"Things could be worse..." she echoes quietly. She's seen the capitol's retaliation in the districts, the peacekeepers mistreatment of regular district citizens. She should be thankful she hadn't been a victim of any of that violence, but it makes her stomach churn when she thinks about comparing painful experiences like that. It's not long before her hand rests against his, palm to palm, finally a sense of welcomed touch. Nothing like the people from the capitol who grabbed her and treated her like some doll. It was an undemanding gesture, something kind.

"Exactly," he'd put her thoughts into words. It's yet another situation of it's them or me. "Make someone else feel a little better or make yourself feel...," the word better doesn't feel correct. Nothing could make mentoring before a game better. Numb maybe...; ultimately, she doesn't finish that thought and instead takes another drink of water. She focuses on Alex's previous question instead.

She takes a moment to reminisce about ten. The good things. "If you ignore the warehouses, it's rather pretty. All the fields, the mountains..." When you ignored the living situation in the district, it was rather nice land. Though she was sure that could be said about many districts. "There's some really nice lakes to swim in too."

"There's also The Barnyard," she adds. "After work, you could go and forget about your problems," she continues. "It's this old unused barn. Lots of folks try to destress, dance, drink, and there's usually musicians," she explains, smiling softly. Dancing and singing there felt different ever since she'd returned home though.

"What about you?" She had the same experience that he did with ten, only got a small glimpse of it while on her tour. Plus, what she did see of it had a haze over it since she'd been so on edge after her games, and it had been the first stop. "What's twelve like?"

alex nods,  briefly wondering if he should pour himself another drink,  but deciding against it —   it would be impolite to drink alone while she just sits there and he’s already had enough for one night.   he doesn’t want to end up like his own mentor,  incapacitated most of the time and unable to think straight.   he gets two clean glasses and fills them up with water instead.   he hands ellie one and keeps the other cradled between his palms,  just staring at it in silence for a moment.   “i’m out of ice,  but if you want cold soda,  it’s over there.”   he motions to the mini-fridge across the room.   she can make herself feel at home and grab anything she likes.

“most confusing feeling ever,  isn’t it?   you’re not really fine,  but things could always be worse,”   he sighs in agreement,  knowing exactly what she means even if she refuses to elaborate.   nobody’s ever truly fine here,  and he doubts it ever gets better with time.   he reaches a hand out,  laying it on the bed between them,  palm up.   a silent offer.   a reminder —   he’s here,  he understands how she feels even if their experiences may differ to a certain extent.   “i’ve only been to ten once,  on my victor’s tour.   what’s it like?   what’d you like about it best?”   he inquires,  hoping to get her mind off of the sad reality.   

“must be tough,  living on a farm,  taking care of something even though you know that it’s not meant to survive.”   it’s a nice metaphor of what’s happening here,  what being a mentor is like.   “at the end of the day,  it all boils down to one question.   do we want to be desensitized and not get attached to those tributes,  which would probably help us keep what little sanity we’ve got left…   or do we get attached,  make sure they know someone cares for them before they go out there and mourn afterwards?”   he doesn’t know what’s better.

[sarcaasmic]

Ellie smiles softly. "That's sweet," she comments. She knows that Alex's mom is a cautious topic, so she is so grateful that he felt comfortable enough to talk about her at least a little bit. "Then sugar cookies and gingerbread it is," she states. "If that's okay," She didn't want to overstep in case he'd rather keep those specific cookies exclusive to the memories of baking with his mom. Especially since there was a risk of the cookies not turning out.

"Mhm," she confirms, romcoms and horror—quite the combination. "Even better when it's a little campy," she explains. "Slashers can be so fun, but yeah, I get that." Psychological horror can be so interesting too. "Especially when you have to sit there and think about what you just watched as the credits roll," she adds.

"Deal," she had no clue what movie Alex was going to pick, but maybe it'd be more fun as a surprise. "Huge flaw," she reiterates with a faux frown that she can't keep on her lips for longer than a few seconds. Ellie gets comfortable in their spot on the couch; it's cozy as she lays her head on his chest, covered in a blanket and Alex's scent.

"Oh, I know," she smiles. "Actually, a good chunk of romcoms are based on Shakespeare's works and other classics." She grabs her phone for a moment to google, "Hmmm, Hulu looks like." She tucks her phone under the couch once more, a spot easy to reach without the need to leave Alex's arms again. Then she turns the movie on.

“it’s one of the things that i always did with my mom.”   back when she was alive,  but he doesn’t say the words out loud.   she passed away when he was only six years old,  and yet that wound still refuses to heal.   “we’d make two batches of sugar cookies and then two more of gingerbread cookies,  we’d decorate them,  pack them in pretty little boxes and hand them out to our neighbors.”   alex rarely opens up like this because it never fails to leave him feeling vulnerable and awkward,  but being stuck in this little cabin has him releasing his inner inhibitions.

“oh?   so,  you are into both?   romcoms and horrors?”   there’s more amusement than judgement in his voice.   “i don’t really like typical slashers,  but the ones that lean more towards psychological thrillers,  like the shining,  can be interesting.”   laughing when she insists on watching a romantic comedy,  he figures he can’t really say no.   mostly because it’s not like there are many alternatives available.   are they just supposed to stare at the fire until they get tired enough to go to bed?   he rolls onto his side and snatches the remote from the coffee table,  handing it to ellie.   “let’s do it like this.   you pick the first movie,  i pick the next one.”   sounds like a fair deal to him.

she’s so cute,  he thinks to himself,  tapping the tip of her wrinkled nose.   the truth is,  he might not like romantic comedies,  but he’d watch anything just to make her happy,  even if he refuses to straight up admit it.   “i’m very happy to hear that this isn’t a dealbreaker,  but it surely is one of my biggest flaws,”   he laughs,  his arm curling around her shoulders once she’s lying down,  hugging her as their bodies mold against one another.   he pulls the fuzzy blanket over them again,  wanting to keep ellie warm.   “i really love shakespeare and that actually sounds interesting.   let’s give it a try.   is it on netflix?”

[sarcaasmic]

Ellie tries to keep up her faux pout, but a smile forms across her lips as she's tugged into Alex's side. She makes no move to pull away; she doesn't mind walking like that with him. With other people it felt awkward, and she'd end up stumbling; with Alex it was easier.

She smiles at the thought. "I bet it was," she agrees. She could imagine it—the little two-year-old in the Scooby Doo get-up. Then she pictures Alex with a little kid, as a dad like his brother, and she has to drop that train of thought. Another tease from him makes distracting herself easy.

Her jaw drops at a jab at her height. "Excuse me, I am five foot five, thank you," she corrects him. Ellie smiles at the thought of her as shaggy and him as Velma, skirt and all. His laughter easily brings out her own. "You're forgetting the knee-high socks, so technically you wouldn't have to shave your whole leg," she adds. Though maybe that's worse and that image only makes her laugh again.

She smiles at his confession. "Who am I gonna tell?" she comments with a small laugh. She thanks him as he opens the door for her. "Mhhhmm," she says as she walks inside the café. "And I get my own knight in shining armor," she adds.

alex just laughs and shakes his head,  his cheeks warm and rosy despite the rather chilly weather.   his arm curling tightly around ellie’s shoulders,  pulling her into a side hug to keep her from pouting.   “oh,  come on,  don’t be sad now.   give me a few years and maybe i’ll save up enough to buy you a pretty diamond ring.   we’ll see.   if not,  we’ll have to settle for a plastic one from the fair,”   he jokes,  releasing her from his warm embrace.   it’s what they do,  he tells himself.  they’re best friends.   all best friends tease each other like this.

“right?   my only concern is…   i’m not sure if they make these in my size,  but my brother got one for his toddler last year at party city.   it was adorable.”   when he was a child,  alex used to binge watch episodes of scooby-doo.   besides,  halloween really isn’t a serious holiday so he’s actually willing to go as anything.   “what?   i’m sorry,  but how does that make sense?   you’re what?   five feet tall?   i’m pretty sure shaggy’s supposed to be taller than that.   besides,  i’d have to shave my legs ‘cause velma wears a skirt and that’s a hassle.”   he tries to remain serious but ends up laughing anyway,  trying to imagine ellie as shaggy and himself as velma.   oh,  they’d turn some heads.   

“the glasses and the personality.”   nothing about this conversation is serious,  obviously,  but he means it as a compliment —   not everyone is smart enough to be velma.   ellie could definitely pull her off,  though.   “if you tell this to anyone,  i’ll deny it,  but…   i really like baz luhrmann’s movies.”   and there’s no way that he’s missing the opportunity to dress up as ROMEO.   being as obsessed with shakespeare as alex is,  no bribery will be needed to put him in that shining armor.   “see?   so you will be the juliet to my romeo,  after all,”   he muses with a laugh,  holding the door to the café open for her.

[sarcaasmic]

"Oh yeah," she confirms; she knows what song is next, and she knows he won't love it. "Rudolph's a good idea actually... The one with the ad-libs" she asks, unsure if he meant the literally theme song "Or the We're a couple of misfits one" she half-sings in a tone similar to that of the elf and Rudolph while he continues to throw out guesses. "I mean it's none of those, but I could definitely add th-," she pauses when he puts flour on her nose. "Wow..."

Ellie glances over at him, her eyebrows slightly raised as she eyes him. It's a feigned look of offense at the flour and the mimicry. She thinks it's fun to see Alex goof around like this. That look of offense slips into shock as he wipes flour across her forehead. She takes back her previous thought. She gasps and instinctively rubs some flour on his cheek just after he takes the photo of her. "I will dump the whole tub of flour on you if you post that anywhere..." she threatens, though her heart isn't in it. She always tries to get candid shots, so she can't blame him.

She flinches a little in surprise and lets out a short, high-pitched noise when he pokes her in the side, "Alexander!" she reprimands. Her love of Alex candids is why, once she can think clearly again, she pulls out her phone. She manages to get a snapshot of Alex just as he's turning around with the cookie cutters in hand. Then her phone goes right back into her pocket. A new one for the album.

She watches as he lays the metal shapes out onto the counter. "Hmm," she grabs the star and presses it into the dough, starting in the corner. She keeps her eyes on the cookies, worried that if she looks at him, she might stare a little too long at the handprint of flour she'd left on his cheek. It might be smudgy, but it would be hard not to think about holding his face in her hands like that, properly, not with the intention of all-purpose flour-fueled revenge.

“is it something that’ll make my ears bleed?”   he inquires with a sigh,  trying to sound grumpy but his eyes give him away —   brimming with amusement and happiness.   he would be lying if he said that he wasn’t enjoying this,  spending christmas with her.   “is it george michael or paul mccartney?   that song from rudolph the red-nosed reindeer?”   he keeps the guessing game going,  unceremoniously dipping a fingertip in the pile of flour and tapping her nose,  leaving it covered in dust.

“you did not just say that!”   he mocks in a high-pitched voice,  sticking his tongue out like a rambunctious little boy and shaking his head.   “yes,  i did.   yes,  i did!”   he chants,  purposely annoying the blonde by smearing some more flour across her forehead.   he loves watching her grow frustrated.   “a whole christmas album?   wow!   sounds about as fun as wisdom teeth removal!”   he leans against the counter,  pulling out his own phone and taking a picture of her flour-covered face.   “i’m framing this one.”   she looks so cute,  but he won’t say that.   even though,  friends can totally think their friends are cute.   nothing wrong with that,  he tells himself.

“willie nelson is the best.   or the everly brothers!   we can listen to the everly brothers later on.”   it’s meant to be a threat,  and hearing her complain so dramatically,  he figures he’s succeeding.   but then he sees the smile on her face and knows she’s just playing.   it warms his heart,  knowing they’re both secretly enjoying this,  but are too stubborn to straight up admit it.   “oh,  please…   we both know you did this on purpose,  you mischievous,  little elf.”   he pokes her side,  letting go of her hip to check the other cupboard.   

and of course that’s where he finds them.   right where she said they would be.   he lays them out on the counter,  moving to stand beside her.   their arms brushing occasionally,  setting his nerve endings afire every time.   “so…”   she smells so good.   and looks so pretty in this light.   “you wanna pick first?   we have a star,  a snowman,  a…   christmas tree.”   he tries not to look at her too much,  but his gaze is constantly drawn in her direction.   his heart melting every time he catches a glimpse of her smile.   suddenly,  he prays all his future christmases look just like this one.

[sarcaasmic]

Ellie smiles at his dramaticism. "Oh yes, we definitely should make cookies, wouldn't want to disappoint Santa," she plays along. She'd never say no to making cookies, chocolate chip, sugar, gingerbread, whatever they decided they Santa would want.

Ellie looks at him like it was obvious: "Yes, right up there with horror, but we are not going to be watching anything scary while staying in a cabin in the woods, so romcoms are definitely in our plans now." Yes, she'd said romcoms, plural, if she could get him to watch more than one, that is. She just had to pick the right one to watch first.

She smiles, her nose crinkling a little in excitement at the challenge. "Oh, I can do that," she lets him pull her towards himself, willingly leaning into it so she can get comfortable again. Ellie tilts her head up to look at his face during his confession; she sighs, "I'm disappointed...," she sighs dramatically and looks away, "but not surprised," she adds.

"Alright, so we could watch Pretty Woman then...," she contemplates. "But I don't know if that's the one I want to start with... it'll be the second one we watch." She takes a second to go through a list of romcoms in her mind then jumps ever so slightly when she gets an idea. "Oh! Ten Things I Hate About You, it's based on one of Shakespeare's plays.".

“what about the presents,  though?   i don’t think jeff bezos,  i mean,  santa will reach us in this weather,”   he muses sadly,  pouting dramatically even though he has a little something for her,  tucked away between his sweaters,  hidden from view.   “but we should probably still bake cookies for him,  right?   just in case?”   a soft smile tugging at his lips,  hand reaching for her knee,  squeezing gently because the silence in answer to his question about her family speaks louder than any words.   he hates to see her like this,  know she’s hurting inside.   “we’ll have the best christmas ever,”   he promises,  reaching out to tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear,  his palm briefly cupping her smooth cheek.  

“oh,  are they?”   he has to stifle a laugh,  gazing up at her with amusement written all over his features.   she looks so cute when she’s so defensive.   annoyed.   he can’t help but tease her some more.   “alright,  that i can agree with.   there’s comfort in predictability.   but other than that?   show me one good romantic comedy and change my mind,”   he challenges,  grabbing gently on the soft fabric of his her crewneck and trying to pull her close again.   “i have a confession to make.   one that might end our friendship.   okay,  so…   i’ve never actually watched pretty woman.”