#katelyn refuses to be anything like her mother

[mangotelevision]

headcannon that in pdh katelyn wasn't put in witchcraft classes by accident, hyria knew her mother was a witch and specifically requested she be put in her class so she could train her. but katelyn being stubborn like she is and refusing to be anything like her mother, dropped the class after the first week

[heytheredelulu]

Marvel Fanfiction Masterlist

| Smut ❤️‍🔥 | SFW Spicy 🌶️ | Angst ❤️‍🩹 | Fluff ✨ |

Imagines

Bucky Barnes x Reader 💙

Little Devil 🌶️

You’re tempting him to sin.

Ruin Me 🌶️

Say less.

Bucky @ Ulta 🌶️✨

You dragged him with you.

Five Senses ❤️‍🩹✨

You walk him through the grounding method.

I Gotta Take This 🌶️

Bucky wants to make an excuse to slip out of the mission briefing.

Simple

Bucky Barnes enjoys the simple things in life.

To Have and to Hold and to Fuck Whenever I Want

You really think a little bit of blood is going to keep your husband from having you?

Steve Rogers x Reader ❤️

Like Sin 🌶️❤️‍🩹

Your possessive boyfriend accuses you of cheating on him with his best friend- and you decide to rile him up.

Loki x Reader 💚

Yearn for You 🌶️✨

You’ve been friends since childhood, after all this time could he truly feel nothing for you?

Winter Rose Drabbles

The Winter Rose, an ex HYDRA assassin trauma bonded with Bucky Barnes in the aftermath of their deconditioning. They’re walking the fine line of love and friendship and both of them are too afraid to cross it.

Bucky Barnes x Winter Rose 🥀

Wounds ❤️‍🩹✨

Wash Over Me ✨

Fuck the Line 🌶️❤️‍🩹

One Shots

Bucky Barnes x Reader 💙

Temptation ❤️‍🔥

You text your boyfriend a nude selfie while he’s working and now he can’t stop thinking about it.

Good Girl ❤️‍🔥

So close you could taste it- but only if you begged him well enough.

Wants and Needs ❤️‍🔥

You come home late from girls night knowing Bucky will still be up. You want need him and you’re finally going to let him know.

Little Bookworm ❤️‍🔥

Your boyfriend can’t think of anything more adorable than watching you read. One night while you’re in the shower he picks up the book you left on the nightstand: “Haunting Adeline by H.D. Carlton” and thumbs through it, very quickly realizing just what kind of books his sweet little bookworm is really into.

Watch Me ❤️‍🔥

Anon request: “could you do something enemies/rivals where bucky accidentally finds out that you have a mirror kink during a training session?”

Unbreakable ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🔥

You’ve always wanted to be a mother but your husband is too tormented by his past to believe he could ever be a good father. For so long you’ve accepted that it will never be in the cards for you- after all, it’s only a small price to pay to continue to live the life you’ve built with the man you love. But what happens when you finally admit that you want what he refuses to give you? Will you push him away with your confession or will you finally make him realize that he’s not the man he believes himself to be?

Unbreakable- The After Years ✨🌶️

The conclusion to your story.

Stucky x Reader 💙❤️

Untitled - In progress ❤️‍🔥

Multipart fics

Bucky Barnes x Reader 💙

Ready to Comply Part One ❤️‍🔥

Tony Stark's shy, curvy intern finds herself fighting for her life when the quiet and reserved ex-assassin she's been pining after for nearly a year has been activated by HYDRA and given the order to kill her to prevent the completion of the new tech she's been developing alongside Tony Stark and Stark Industries.

Ready to Comply Part Two ❤️‍🔥

The second installment of Ready to Comply.

Ready to Comply Part Three - In progress ❤️‍🔥

Teaser

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[my-coven-is-claudia]

Katelyn has BPD analysis

i love psychoanalysing my favourite characters whenever i am currently questioning my own mental state.

disclaimer!!

this is based off extensive research,, the people in my life who deal with this condition and my own personal experience. i very much doubt jess intended any of this but once i began to notice the dots connecting when it comes to katelyn’s behaviour and common symptoms of bpd my brain had to make this post.

i aim to have be as accurate as possible with the resources and knowledge i have at my disposal about bpd. if you wish to add anything or believe i’ve said anything inaccurate please feel free to say!

so finally,, without further ado…

1. causes

“If you get a BPD diagnosis you're more likely than most people to have had difficult or traumatic experiences growing up, such as […] losing a parent” - Mind.org

in her early years,, katelyn’s mother left her and the rest of her family,, leaving them poverty stricken and in a single-parent household. losing a parent in any context can be deeply traumatic,, especially if the child does not have the right support systems and/or has to fill the role of the parent themselves. losing an attachment figure can increase a child’s poor psychological well-being,, changes in behaviour and mental health issues. although we don’t have much information,, losing her mother most definitely negatively affected katelyn. this is amplified by the fact this happened roughly during her preteens where a parent’s death is more likely to have a significant effect as the child and parent would have developed a close bond by then.

with what information we have on how elizabeth’s disappearance specifically affected katelyn suggests that there was a refusal to move on. it is said that she would throw tantrums whenever her father planned to be with another woman. this shows that katelyn was likely one of the most affected out of her entire family by this trauma; whilst the rest of her family attempted to move on with their lives katelyn was still stuck in the moment where she first learned that her mother was gone. she was stuck in the trauma. a fear of abandonment was instilled in her and her father disrupting the walls she had made would throw her into a state of distress. witnessing her father treat other women the same way he treated elizabeth possibly even triggered a return of the past trauma of losing her mother.

katelyn describes these episodes as “tantrums” a common way to phrase bpd episodes when the person experiencing them is undiagnosed. without the proper tools to address and control these episodes katelyn likely was left to process it all herself. this would have added to her complex trauma as a mishandling of an episode can also be a form of trauma. having no idea why not only your mind but your body is having such a violent reaction and your cry for help is being met with even more mishandling only leads to the problem becoming worse. if you struggle with any kind of mental disorder and your symptoms aren’t being questioned this will negatively affect you. these outbursts are usually cries for help in some way or another and them being simply ignored only digs the hole deeper.

with all this said katelyn does state that she eventually overcame her grief and was able to move on. we see that the grief over elizabeth’s disappearance does not affect her nearly as much as it once did as an adolescent and is no longer debilitating. but at what cost?

2. emotional instability

“If you have BPD, you may experience a range of often intense negative emotions” - NHS official website

one of katelyn’s most defining traits is her intense emotions,, usually extreme anger. in the early seasons of mystreet we see her snap and become easily irritated with people,, even with her friends. when she displays emotions such as panic or rage it is always extreme. furthermore,, violence is usually the next step as she regularly threatens the people around her and even sometimes goes through with it.

an important note to make is that those who struggle with bpd are not inherently violent. not in any sense of the word. however,, this does not mean people with bpd cannot be violent,, whether this is a byproduct of their bpd or something else. katelyn is someone who i think is violent because of her intense emotions brought on by bpd. she is not equipped enough to deal with these and consequently,, let’s it out on other people. no one has questioned why she acts like this and so she doesn’t find an issue with it. her problematic behaviour has been so normalised and the people around her are seemingly used to it,, aphmau and nana mostly notably so.

Nana: “Oooh you know Katelyn~Sama… she just likes to get in a snarky remark. She does that… a lot… to our customers at the restaurant.”

- Mystreet Season 1: Episode 1

nana and aphmau do not take any notice of katelyn’s behaviour,, simply brushing it off as her being well - katelyn. this shows that she’s been like this for the majority of her life,, long enough for her two closest friends to consider it normal. her knee-jerk reaction is defensiveness and fury and it’s a habit that goes deep and is ingrained into her.

it is deep in her veins,, so intrinsically a part of her being that she cannot be separated from it; the people around her quite literally solely associate her with wrath. this passive acceptance of this toxic trait likely enables her behaviour,, preventing her from healing. although she mentions that she does meditation it cannot replace actual professional help. she doesn’t appear to have enough self awareness to keep herself in check that she ends up hurting others in an irreversible way. but that’s for later on.

another example of her extreme emotions is her anxiety.

Katelyn: “Do you not remember high-school? I always freak out before tests.”

Travis: “Oh yeah. But you usually passed so why worry now?”

- Mystreet Season 1: Episode 23

although anxiety over exams is common, travis points out that katelyn has been repeatedly successful in tests so this worry seems to be a lot more like paranoia than simple nervousness. katelyn feels like her whole world is ending and is completely frazzled.

Katelyn: “There’s no way I can [calm down]. The test is in 10 minutes - I need more time.”

no amount of rationalising will make the situation any less stressful for her. she only experiences in extremes; in terror and alarm and not simply nervousness and worry. on top of this,, she doesn’t appear to have any proper coping mechanisms for this outside of meditation. no grounding method. no breathing technique. she either lashes out or freezes up. for a character who when it comes to picking between fight or flight usually chooses fight she has a pattern of being so overwhelmed by her emotions that she cannot function. her brain’s rationality is drowned out by anger,, anxiety,, sadness whatever she’s dealing with and all that is left is pure instinct.

3. impulsive behaviour

“Impulsivity is regarded as a clinical, diagnostic and pathophysiological hallmark of borderline personality disorder” - PubMed.gov

impulsivity in the context of bpd is thought as usually being something of the like of drug misuse or unprotected,, risky sex. however,, it can also present as less extreme actions (although still harmful) like binge-eating or going on a spending-spree. impulsivity in someone with bpd goes deeper than individual reckless actions and can affect the personality of the person. for example,, maybe they’re charismatic and charming or dramatic and seek thrilling activities. this all can actually be tied back to lower impulse control.

i bring this up because although we don’t see katelyn acting impulsive much,, her true symptoms may be more clear in her personality and this does happen in those with bpd. for example,, katelyn is playful with her friends and has flirted with quite a few people. her flirtatious behaviour doesn’t seem to hold much meaning,, however,, usually being meaningless. this kind of attitude to love and relationships is an example of how reckless behaviour in bpd can affect someone’s personality and day-to-day life. in episode 31 after a chaotic string of events due to zane and aphmau faking a relationship whilst zianna visits,, katelyn ends up stepping in and lies about her and aph being in a relationship and even goes as far as being willing to kiss her. all of this is obviously in jest but that is the key issue here. to katelyn it is a joke,, nothing serious. she appears to be much more comfortable with the idea of romance and intimacy than having a genuine and raw connection with someone.

in this episode once zianna is told this lie by katelyn she encourages katelyn and aphmau to kiss. aphmau is flustered and is made even more distressed than she already is whilst katelyn immediately leans into it.

Katelyn: “Well, if you insist.”

- Mystreet Season 1: Episode 31

again all of this is casual but the fact that she gives less than a second of thought before agreeing to this clearly implies how lightly she takes the situation. it’s superficial at most. not in the way that she has no desire for intimacy but more so that she doesn’t view it with the same meaning and significance as someone else would. as a result,, this leads to her impulsivity.

this recklessness,, especially when it comes to romance,, comes to a climax when katelyn kisses travis in an attempt to prove a point to lucinda.

Katelyn: “Because he doesn’t deserve a kiss from you. Plus you’re terrible at kissing.”

Lucinda: “Excuse me but I am amazing at kissing… because I have a potion for that.”

Katelyn: “Pft let me show you how it’s done.”

- Mystreet Season 1: Episode 34

katelyn promptly kisses travis and doesn’t realise the implications of what’s she’s done until a good few seconds later. in response to travis reading the kiss as a declaration of love she immediately punches him and runs off,, denying any meaning behind the kiss. she doesn’t realise the implications of what she’s done until it’s laid out right in front of her.

a lot of her impulsive actions seem to be done to prove herself or a distraction from reality. when egged on to prove her confidence or superiority in some way she lunges at the opportunity. she doesn’t critically think about the effects this may have on others or the general aftermath. if it seems like fun to her she won’t hesitate to do it. this ties into her general lack of care for other’s feelings in these situations. when she pretends to be aphmau’s partner and when she kisses travis she causes both of them to be flustered,, clearly not thinking about how her words/actions affect those around her. although these instances are not severe she shows a pattern of disregarding people’s feelings. she isn’t self centred per say but her impulsiveness leads her to not register the severity of what’s she’s doing. not until it slaps in her the face.

4. intense and unstable relationships

“To split something means to divide it. Those with BPD tend to characterize themselves, other people, and situations in black and white.”

- healthline.com

splitting is when a person with bpd alternates between extremes of idealization or devaluation. the key part of this is the exaggerated and rapid change in perception of a person or situation. this usually applies to relationships,, causing the person with bpd to have a distorted view of their partner,, seeing them only in the best or worst possible light. sometimes this derives from projection,, pushing their negative view of themself onto their partner. this black and white can destroy relationships as the person with bpd is consumed by their distorted thinking whilst their partner is left in the dust.

katelyn exhibits this black and white thinking very clearly. she antagonises people like zane,, refusing to get to know him and disregarding any possible positives about him. in contrast,, she adores her friends like aphmau,, thinking only good of her and defending her at every chance. she clings onto quick-second first impressions of people and doesn’t let go even when she’s been proved wrong. very rarely does she feel neutral towards someone,, either loving them and showering them in praise or despising and only thinking the worst of them.

this is shown when aphmau asks her to be nicer to zane and she refuses to change her stance.

Katelyn: “Um.. I think you already know the answer to that. You know he and Jeffory don’t get along and Jeffory is my friend. So no.”

- Mystreet Season 1: Episode 15

even if she may not have a negative experience with someone personally if someone she trusts and values doesn’t like someone she will automatically share that same opinion.

this kind of black and white thinking doesn’t appear to massively negatively affect her relationships as she appears to have enough rationality to keep her thoughts to herself. however,, this awareness that good and bad can exist together in one seems to falter when it comes to her relationship with travis.

from the moment that katelyn meets travis her view of him is engulfed him in negativity

Katelyn: “I also bet you didn’t know what pain was until I-“

- Mystreet Season 1: Episode 15

in their very first interaction katelyn punches him. without any thought or remorse she just hits him. however,, this first instance of abuse is somewhat understandable as he approached her by flirting which reasonably and justifiably upset her. travis is the one mainly in the wrong in this situation,, even if his flirting is mostly humorous.

what appears to anger katelyn specifically in this context is that nana appears to be ignorant to travis’s inappropriate behaviour.

Nana: “Katelyn-sama that’s not nice. Travis has a broken heart and needs more chocolate!”

Katelyn: “How blind are you Kawaii~Chan? He’s just trying to smooth talk you!”

this passive reaction to travis’s behaviour is a pattern throughout the series. no one particularly appears to have a problem with his comments or flirting. but katelyn does. everyone else doesn’t feel uncomfortable around travis and her friends expect her to feel the same. her discomfort around travis is undermined and minimised again and again,, played off as a joke.

an instance of this is when in an attempt to distract katelyn,, lucinda teleports travis into her home.

Travis: “Oh- what the- where am I? I was just about to take a shower and… heyyy Katelyn.”

Katelyn: “What the- Travis?! Lucinda you said….”

Lucinda: “I said I wasn’t going to use any spells on you. You said nothing about a teleportation spell. Oh, and don’t bother to smack Travis I put a temporary spell on him to prevent physical injury.”

- Mystreet Season 1: Episode 28

this is presented as lighthearted fun between katelyn and lucinda. just another instance of two friends trying to annoy each other. very clearly,, katelyn wants nothing to do with travis,, even despising his presence but she is forced into the same room as him repeatedly whilst all her friends laugh at her. it’s no surprise that she reacts with violence.

this is in no way to excuse her actions but her abuse towards him grows more and more extreme because she’s being constantly taunted by those around her. her own friends push her buttons with no regard for how she feels and treat her like a rag-doll. both travis and her have been pushed onto a stage,, all eyes on them and forced to play caricatures of themselves. the only difference is that whilst travis appears to live off the attention katelyn cracks under it. she smashes to the ground and shatters into a million different pieces. and they all aim towards travis.

where katelyn’s behaviour veers off from being simply weirded out by travis to physical assault and abuse is when she starts taking out all her of anger on him and him only. it goes from her only hitting him when he flirts with her to when he even utters a word.

this is why her behaviour is so toxic because it seems she begins to want to hurt him for merely existing. she already has a history of allowing this black and white thinking to harm those around her,, even those she cares about,, and her own self-destruction turns into destruction of others. too blinded by her own anguish and suffering,, she doesn’t realise her wrongs and that she’s hurting people.

why she likely doesn’t see her mistakes is because she’s been told all her life that she’s dramatic and overreacts. as i said previously the mystreet cast brushes off travis’s harassment and pushes katelyn to be in situations with him. despite what her friends say,, she doesn’t believe that she’s in the wrong to be suspicious of him and stands her ground. but that doesn’t mean their words don’t affect her. her friends’ lack of understanding worsens katelyn’s mental state as she feels misunderstood by her own friends. this leads her to grow suspicious of them and ignore them. at every turn she’s told that’s she overly aggressive and no one attempts to even comfort her or try to understand why she doesn’t like travis.

on one occasion when she displays this distrust she is only met with mockery.

Lucinda: “I assure you it wasn’t any potion I used.”

Mystreet Season 1: Episode 25

on the surface this may not appear that malicious but it’s the fact that this isn’t the first time someone has brushed off katelyn’s concerns is what likely pushed her over the edge. cutting back to when travis first moved in nana does not listen to katelyn and defends him.

Nana: “Katelyn-sama that’s not nice. Travis has a broken heart and needs more chocolate!”

Mystreet Season 1: Episode 15

but despite her seeming hatred for travis katelyn is revealed to actually like him. sprinkled through season 1 and 2 katelyn is shown to have some sweet,, soft moments with travis; moments where her perception alters and it appears that she tolerates at him and at times is even… fond of him.

this is called splitting.

this flip-flopping between hating and loving travis is not due to her discomfort being an ‘act’ or her being ‘dramatic’ instead it is as a result of her own distorted thinking. most of the time she only views travis in absolute negativity and disgust. even when she appears to tolerate to him she treats him coldly and considers him with suspicion.

Travis: “H-Hey Katelyn, these flowers are for you.”

Katelyn: “Oh… thanks.”

Travis: “Y-You looks beautiful….”

Katelyn: “What’s wrong with you?!”

Travis: “Why, can’t a guy be nice?”

Katelyn: “No suggestive remarks? No trying to get close with me? No looking at my butt?”

Mystreet Season 1: Episode 25

however,, as per the nature of splitting,, there are times where she thinks the complete opposite of him. during season two when travis suddenly appears katelyn initially regards him with a lot more care and kindness,, especially after shoving him off from atop a building.

Katelyn: “Travis, you really worried me.”

Mystreet Season 2: Episode 7

this drastic change is a clear indication of splitting and its effects. in a very short amount of time katelyn goes from completely despising him to seemingly harbouring romantic feelings for him. this juxtaposition only confuses travis and worsens their relationship as katelyn continues to stick to her black and white view of him,, without any communication.

this all comes to a climax at the end of season two where travis finally confronts katelyn for her mistreatment of him. travis admits his own faults and puts out a hand to katelyn,, asking for a fresh start between them. all that is left is for katelyn to own up to her mistakes too.

Conclusion

do i think all of this was intentional? no. do i think it’s a justification or excuse for katelyn’s toxic and abuse behaviour? definitely no. am i emotionally drained after writing all of this? yes

hope you enjoyed reading !

[red-and-eclipses-aphmau-rewrite]

Monsters: A Katelyn Brewster Character Study

Katelyn has always feared becoming a monster. They couldn’t tell you why, not anymore, but once they knew. Once, they remembered a mother who loved them, before she met the Man. The Man told her strange things, though he told Katelyn strange things too.

He told her mother that they would never want for anything again, that they would never have to worry about anything again. He told Katelyn that they would be so much more than everyone around them.

They only remember when they feel their will slipping away from them, and by then it is too late. They cannot do anything but watch as they discover just what they are supposed to be. Katelyn is scared. They remember a fight, against a giant wolf, who seems far too much like Aaron. They remember watching, waiting, as the wolf is saved from the Celestial Cannon’s fire by a strange purple magiks.

They remember hurting their love, Lucinda. They remember a shouted “I love you!” and a cold “I never loved you back”. That’s what makes them fight. The fact that this… thing… decided that they could never love Lucinda.

They remember a “hey there, Kitty-Cat,” and responding with a “I love you Lucy.”

They confess all of this to Lucinda later. They tell her what happened to them. Lucinda tells her story. They hadn’t realized just what happened at that lodge, but it makes so much sense now. The two hold each other that night, and refuse to ever let go again.

[paradoxolotl]

Are there any quotes or moments from any of your fics that you've had to leave out of the final product? Like, deleted scenes. If so, do you feel like sharing?...(Particularly Inked Truths because I'm obsessed with it. I fell in love with BoM, read it multiple times. When I found out you were doing a prequel I was very excited and have not been disappointed since.) (I also love TftR but it makes sad.)...Absolutely no pressure. If you don't want to answer please just ignore this, I'll understand.

Truths for the Roof didn’t lose anything but Inked lost a bit. Really, it was just redone to flow better and fit the characterization better, or moved somewhere later on in the series. I’m more likely to add then take away. It’s pretty rare I scrap something completely, and usually find somewhere else to put it, even if it’s a different fic. But originally BOM was very different. Andrew was medicated and Aaron knew Neil Josten from class.

Here’s a scene that was reworked in Ink Blotted Memories ~

Aaron did his best to avoid Andrew after that. He made himself busy at work, hauling dishes back and forth and hanging out with the bouncers on his breaks. When they were home Andrew was usually shut up in his room or outside smoking which made avoiding him all the easier, giving Aaron space to dick around on the TV or be in his room. Nicky still tried to involve both of them in stupid bonding activities like family dinners and movie nights. When they did happen, it was tense and uncomfortable, mostly filled with Nicky’s inane chatter. Aaron purposely did not look at his brother on these nights. He was torn between wanting Andrew’s acknowledgment and wishing he had never found out about him.

He marked his days with video games and his nights with alcohol and cracker dust, counting the days until he could once again use school as a distraction.

And the entire original Brother of Mine, which I rewrote most of when I got partway through ~

Aaron could still remember lying in his bed in his mother’s house, body bruised and hurting, wishing to have someone who could help him. Someone to make things better. To stand with him and hold him up when he was so close to crumbling. Learning about a long-lost twin felt like something out of a movie. An answered prayer. Finally, Aaron would have someone, a brother, who he could talk to. He imagined late night talks and secrets shared between them. They would have a bond so strong that nothing could come between them.

Andrew’s response of ‘fuck off’ had felt like a back-hand across his face.

Still, he held out hope. He was told to try again in the Spring, and that was what he planned on doing. Even when Andrew was sent to juvie, Aaron held onto his hope of a brother who would care about him. They were twins after all, how hard could it be?

The first time he had met Andrew face to face, Uncle Luther beside him and a metal table separating them, Aaron’s idea of what their relationship would be went up in smoke. His face was looking back at him, but there was no expression, no emotion at all. A blankness that revealed nothing of what he was thinking. It was hard to make eye contact with Andrew, his eyes sharp enough to be cut on. Andrew didn’t speak to Aaron at all that first visit; he just stared at him with a flat glare the entire time.

And yet he still came to South Carolina to live with Aaron. Aaron desperately wanted for Andrew to open up to him when they lived together. He thought he had to, now that they shared a room. He also hoped that home would get better, now that Andrew was home. Maybe mom would get better, would stop being so stressed. So angry.

It only took one incident for Aaron to believe Andrew was untouchable. They were in the backyard so Andrew could smoke, both sipping from a bottle of vodka Andrew had acquired. He had only moved in a week ago, and so far, things had been quiet. Aaron had no new bruises, but Andrew’s blank stare made him warry. The slam of the front door had made Aaron flinch, Andrew’s cold eyes tracking the movement. Aaron could hear their mother calling for him, her words tight with anger. Remembering the pills he had swiped earlier in the day, he swallowed back the lump in his throat and went inside.

He remembers her screaming. He remembers the pain of a hand across his cheek. Then there was Andrew, her wrist gripped in his hand, twisted far enough to make her bend at an awkward angle. It was then that Aaron saw the first expression on his twin’s face, and it terrified him. His lips had curled back in a snarl, his eyes bright with an anger Aaron had never seen before.

It was that night that Andrew had offered Aaron a deal. They would stick together, just the two of them, and Andrew would protect him. Aaron believed this was the answer to what he had been asking for. Finally, he wouldn’t be alone. He made his promise to Andrew.

Months passed, and Aaron was still collecting bruises. It was almost worse now, to have a witness to his suffering. Someone who had promised him protection but couldn’t stop everything.

Then, the accident where Aaron was left with only Andrew. Just the two of them.

The funeral where Andrew’s arm was in a sling, a cigarette hanging from his mouth, and a strange gleam in his eye as the dirt was poured on their mother’s grave.

Nicky coming back from Germany, taking them in.

Moving into a new house and Andrew installing a lock on his door.

The agony of being locked in that bathroom, withdrawal clawing his body to shreds.

The slow isolation at school, Andrew refusing to let anyone close.

Nicky’s assault and the mandated therapy.

That awful laughter and empty smile.

And Aaron had to wonder if instead of his prayers being answered, he had been cursed.

~~~

Things began changing the spring of their freshman year of college.

When they first joined the Foxes, there was a clear divide between Aaron’s family and the others immediately. Any interactions ended in spitting insults at best and violence more than not. The others feared Andrew and his knives, circling their group like alley cats. Not that the three of them were much better. Nicky constantly antagonized the others, and the twins’ general lack of effort to get along definitely rubbed a few people the wrong way. The Columbia trips solidified their isolation from the others. Honestly, Aaron couldn’t care less about getting along with his teammates. He would leave them alone as long as they did the same. He was here for a degree, not friends.

Now, they had officially been knocked out of the championships. Not that Aaron could bring himself to care, but games days usually also meant Columbia, and Aaron desperately wanted to get off campus. Between the upperclassmen, Day’s bitching over the season and Nicky’s whining, Aaron was looking forward to drinks, crackers, and music loud enough to lose yourself in.

Unfortunately, they couldn’t go without Andrew. His twin was currently perched on his desk by the window, smoking and staring out at the campus, fingers rapidly tapping. Normally they would already be packed up and gone by now, but they hadn’t gone once in over a month. At first Aaron thought it was because of exy, but then Andrew would disappear from the dorms for hours at a time, much to Day’s frustration. The only reason Aaron even noticed this as odd was because his brother rarely left Day alone. He never told them why they stopped going, or where he disappeared to, and any complaints fell on deaf ears.

“Come on Andrew!” Nicky whined, “We never go to Columbia anymore!”

Andrew’s laughter made Aaron’s jaw tick. “Oh, poor Nicky, don’t you know that no means no?”

“But why not?” Nicky was still going.

Aaron didn’t know why Nicky thought he could reason with Andrew. Unless you were Renee the best result from interacting with him would be victim to a cutting insult or dismissal. Worst case you’d need stitches.

His phone buzzing in his hand distracted him from the conversation happening. Looking at the screen, he felt a wave of relief wash over him, soothing the tension in his shoulders.

Katelyn

You played great today! It’s too bad the season is over

Katelyn was an instant balm to Aaron’s anger. It was still new, this thing between them. They had met in their intro biology class and had spent many late hours at the library studying. She had been the first person at Palmetto who had bothered to get to know Aaron for him, not just as ‘Andrew’s twin’. At first, he was a sullen asshole, but her endless patience and positivity snuck past his defenses and made a place for her in Aaron’s very bones. The only issue was they had to sneak around; Aaron couldn’t risk Andrew finding out about her.

Glancing up to make sure Andrew was still distracted with Nicky, Aaron settled further into his beanbag.

Aaron

Whatever it’s just stickball

Katelyn

Still, I’ll miss watching you ;)

Aaron had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep the smile off his face.

Katelyn

How’s Columbia?

Aaron

Wouldn’t know we’re still in the Tower

Katelyn

Think you could sneak out for a bit?

We’re in that bar with the turtle

Nicky’s yelp brought Aaron’s attention back to the room in front of him. Andrew was still on the desk, but Aaron caught the glint of metal as a knife was put back in one of his armbands. His eyes followed Nicky as he retreated to the bedroom, face split in his usual grin. When the door closed behind Nicky, Andrew’s eyes snapped to Aaron, pinning him to his spot. Aaron glared back, daring Andrew to say something to him. To say anything.

Instead, Andrew flicked his cigarette out the window, slammed in shut, and left the dorm completely. Aaron wasn’t sure if he was disappointed or not.

He sat there for a moment, fingers tapping on his phone. If this was going to be following his typical pattern over the past few weeks, Andrew would be gone for hours, and wouldn’t notice if Aaron left. He would just need to be back before Andrew. Really, it wasn’t that hard of a decision.

Aaron

Be there in twenty.

Katelyn

<3

Grabbing his jacket, Aaron hurried out of the dorm, eager to get away. Even if it wasn’t Columbia, even if it was with the Vixens, any time with Katelyn was worth it.

Aaron didn’t look up as he left the Tower. If he did, he might have seen a heavy stare and two lit cigarettes.

~~~

Summer came, and somehow Betsy had convinced the courts to change Andrew’s medication. Something about an incorrect diagnosis or dosage. Aaron wasn’t sure how they thought an Andrew off the pills would be any better, but no one asked him for his opinion.

The upside was that Aaron had weeks free of his oppressive twin, and he could spend as much time with Katelyn as he wanted. It was the first time in years Aaron felt like there was no weight pulling him down, like he could finally breathe.

It was in those few perfect weeks that Aaron came to a decision.

He couldn’t lose this.

~~~

Andrew had come back from Easthaven reverted back to the emptiness of when Aaron had first met him. He had barely said a word to anyone since he came back, simply leveling that bored glare at them whenever someone tried to speak to him. Whenever Aaron saw him, he was fiddling on that damn flip phone, barely acknowledging his surroundings. Even the upperclassmen had noticed his attachment to the device.

It was during a meeting before the first game of the new season that someone finally snapped.

“Damn it, Andrew, what are you doing?” When Kevin got really angry, his face flushed. Right now, he was approaching tomato.

Andrew snapped his phone shut, “Nothing.”

“Bullshit, you need to focus. Our first game is tomorrow, and we are nowhere near ready.”

“Maybe,” Andrew drawled, “instead of worrying about me, you should focus on what you’ll do when you see Riko again.”

It was a low blow, but effective. Kevin immediately fell silent, his skin changing from red to white so quickly Aaron was surprised he didn’t faint. Edgar Allen had joined their district after Kevin announced that he would be joining the Fox line-up. Last year Kevin had showed up, hand bloody and broken, looking for sanctuary. Apparently, Riko had broken his hand in a fit of rage. Kevin had tried to sue, but with the connections and money behind the Moriyama name, it was ruled as an accident. The public backlash of that along with Kevin’s transfer to the Foxes had caused several headaches last year.

“Jesus, Andrew,” Nicky whispered.

Andrew opened his phone again. No one else tried to speak to him for the rest of the meeting.

~~~

It was a new bet among the Foxes: what Andrew was doing on his phone. Everyone agreed that it was pretty clear he was texting someone, but the question was who. Some believed it was a secret girlfriend, while others were still convinced Renee and Andrew were together. Others thought it had to be something illegal.

Aaron knew what he thought, and he silently watched and cataloged information away.

~~~

The season was going terribly. They were winning games by the skin of their teeth and they were more divided than ever. Seth and Kevin couldn’t stop fighting, their newest striker was a nervous wreck, and Andrew didn’t give a shit.

Their last game was against the Ravens, and they had been destroyed. Now, Wymack and Dan were looking for a win.

They were in the locker room getting ready for the game when Andrew’s phone began to ring. Aaron didn’t recognize the song Andrew used, but he knew he normally used the default setting for his ringtone. Andrew picked up before Aaron could think too much on it.

“What?”

At this point everyone was staring at him, not even trying to act like they weren’t eavesdropping.

Andrew scoffed, “Junkie,” he said before snapping his phone shut, tossing it into his locker, and slamming it door closed. A moment later he was stalking out of the locker room.

Silence was left behind in his wake until Nicky broke it, “So it isn’t a girlfriend?”

When the team was gathered again (...missing...)

~~~

(...missing...)Today though, Aaron needed to talk to him.

The chances of Andrew brushing off any attempt Aaron made to speak to him were high, so Aaron waited until Andrew would have to acknowledge him. On Wednesday, when Andrew walked into Reddin, Aaron was waiting for him.

~~~

“Fuck off,” Aaron growled.

Josten had that stupid smirk on his face, his finger tapping on his test score. It wasn’t even that Aaron did bad. It was that Josten did better. He always did better in this stupid class. Aaron hated statistics, but apparently Josten was a math major and took every opportunity to show him up.

From day one Aaron had disliked him. He had plopped down beside Aaron, ratty clothes and shaggy hair, and called him ‘the second Minyard’. Not only was he a complete ass, but he was completely unnerving. His eyes were a blue so pale they were almost glacial, and his face and arms were covered in slashes and burn scars.

Once, Aaron had overheard someone call him ‘Scarface’, and Josten had just asked, with a terrifying grin, if they were looking for some to match.

And Aaron was stuck in a room with him twice a week.

Josten tsked at him, still tapping at his score. “What? Still second?”

“Fuck off,” Aaron really wasn’t in the mood.

He just hummed, pulling his phone out, a god damn flip phone, and spent the next few minutes ignoring the review happening. Aaron could barely focus as Josten texted away; each click grating on Aaron’s already frayed nerves.

Aaron wasn’t even sure how Josten did so well; he spent most of the class doodling in his notebook.

[abraxos-is-toothless]

healing and feeling

My @aftgexchange gift for @bayta-darell !!! I’m so sorry that this is late, I went to post at the beginning of the posting week but I couldn’t find it anywhere. I’ve spent the week doing a rewrite. There was more of it (Kevin and Neil having a discussion) but I just wanted you to get something rather than nothing. I really hope you like it. A general foxes type fic where they do some healing.  Canon warnings apply- mentioned not detailed.

---------

Twenty minutes. Twenty whole minutes it took of the foxes remaining silent for Betsy Dobson to realise she’d have to make the first move if she wanted to make any progress at all here today.

“David first suggested this for you all once before and you refused, which I respected. I will not force anyone to talk until they are ready. But you’re all here today and I feel I should ask the nine of you, why now?”

Aaron watched as everyone not-so-subtly shifted their eyes to look at Josten who opened his mouth as if to speak before closing it again. He pulled his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them from where he sat on the floor by Andrew’s chair. There was a space next to Boyd on the plush yellow couch but well...

“This is the second time this week Neil has almost stabbed one of us.” Ah, Reynolds. Always making sure she got straight to the point. Matt glared at her, muscled arms crossed over his chest.

“I said it was fine, I startled him-”

“It damn well isn’t fine, Matt! Were you not a boxer with some good reflexes, he could have done some serious damage.”

Aaron watched them argue back and forth until Betsy politely cleared her throat, her calm, soothing smile never once leaving her face.  He admired the woman, he truly did; he couldn’t imagine dealing with people’s shit all day and managing to still look sane and collected. His own mind was enough of an asshole as it was. “I’m glad that we’ve gotten to why you’re all here, but I’d like for us to remain civil in these sessions. Talking about such things can be straining and I want you to remember you’re a team, that you’re friends.” Matt nodded and threw Neil a small smile and Allison simply flicked her hand, bright red nails catching in the sunlight streaming through the window. Aaron caught Neil bringing a hand up to rub at the scarring on his face but then Andrew’s hand came down to hold the back of his neck, thumb rubbing back and forth carefully and the tension Neil was holding in his shoulders eased up. His twin met his stare without faltering and simply raised a pale brow at him, as if daring him to comment. Aaron kept his mouth shut and turned back to Betsy. “Now Neil, would you be able to tell us what might have brought on these outbursts of violence?”

“I’ve always been this way, thanks to my mother.” Aaron saw Andrew’s jaw clench at the mention of Mary Wesninski; he knew well enough how his brother felt about abusive mothers. “But this is different. We lost our most recent game. We’re falling behind a little and if we don’t win the next game, we don’t get to progress any further.” Aaron couldn’t stop his mouth from moving, even if he had tried to.

“You’re telling me that Boyd almost got stabbed because we lost a game? Are you serious right now? It’s not the end of the fucking world!”

“It is for me!” He stopped and said nothing more, turning his face away from them all, ignoring their looks of confusion. He knew Josten loved Exy as much as Kevin, but he didn’t think such a thing was enough to stab someone over. Kevin sighed, eyes closing before he put his head in his hands. Neil’s jaw clenched and he stood abruptly, walking towards the door, Andrew following just a few seconds after. Betsy, bless her heart, she tried to reason with two of the most stubborn beings on the planet.

“Neil, maybe you’re not quite ready to talk, but we’ve only just-”

“I apologise, Dr. Dobson, but I can’t talk with you in the room. Anything regarding that part of my life cannot be discussed outside of the people who already know. I do not wish to implicate you.” The woman wrote a few things down; the scratch of the pen was loud to Aaron’s ears.

“Very well, then. Let David know when you’re all ready to come back, and we’ll schedule something between classes and practice.” Neil and Andrew disappeared out of the door and Aaron and the rest were quick to follow, but not before Renee, ever the peacekeeper, gave the woman a gentle smile and told her they’d see her next week. As if she alone could wrangle them all into another session. He made his way over to the mas with Nicky and Kevin, where Neil and Andrew waited, sharing a cigarette between them, and the upperclassmen left ahead of them in Matt’s truck. No one spoke until they were all in the car and on the move, and of course, it was Kevin.

“This isn’t a good idea.” Nicky leaned across the seats and over Aaron to bat at Kevin with one hand, all the while texting Erik on his phone in the other.

“Shut up. You don’t think that anything is ever a good idea unless it’s one of your ideas.”

“Neil I really don’t-”

“Enough, Kevin. I’m telling them and that’s final. I should have told them all anyway.” Kevin sat back with a huff and Aaron rolled his eyes at the idiot’s dramatics, staring out the window for the rest of the unusually quiet drive back to fox tower, except for the clicking of Nicky’s phone and the quiet giggles he would let out at whatever he and his fiancé were talking about. When they got there, Andrew found the closest parking spot to the building that he could, because his brother preferred not to do any more exercise than being an Exy player forced him to. The others hadn’t waited for them, not that Aaron thought they would have, but he thought at least Allison would have been standing at the doors so Neil couldn’t slip away and get out of telling them anything. 

They hadn’t, however, stopped themselves from taking over Aaron’s old dorm room he shared with the rest of the ‘monsters’ before he moved to Matt’s. Dan and Matt were sitting together on the couch, the former tucked into the latter’s side, Allison was lounging in a beanbag while she inspected her nails and Renee was sitting on the floor in front of the small and worn table, sorting Nicky’s nail polishes into some sort of order. “Now that you’re here,” Allison said without even bothering to glance in their direction, “let’s get to this secret you’ve been keeping from us, shall we?” Aaron watched Andrew move over to the window to sit on the sill, lighting up another cigarette. He knew there was no need to worry about the smoke alarm because Andrew had taken it out from the first day they moved into the room. It was clear he wasn’t bothered by any of this, at least Aaron didn’t think he was, which means either he knew what Neil was going to tell them all, or he had guessed early on and hadn’t pushed for a definite answer just yet. 

Kevin sat down in the other bean bag, although with how tall he was, he seemed to dwarf the bag. The sight was odd, considering that caused him to slouch more than a chair or the couch would have, something he would moan at the rest of them for when they did it. Nicky sat himself next to Renee, gushing over how she’d organised all of his colours, nodding so enthusiastically that his messy brown curls bobbed with the movement. Aaron went to lean against the wall closest to Andrew, who didn’t acknowledge him other than glancing at him out of the corner of his eye. They were better than they were before, Aaron actually managed to have whole conversations with his brother now and he was no longer hostile towards Katelyn, letting her come along sometimes when they went to Sweeties and Eden’s. He knew it would take time to have some sort of a stable relationship with Andrew but they were trying, and that was okay for now. 

Neil stood in front of them all, hands in the PSU foxes hoodie he wore, barely any emotion on his face, as he always was. No wonder he and Andrew worked so well together, Aaron thought, internally rolling his eyes. He got straight to it. “After Nathan was killed, all his debts with the Moriyamas fell onto me. The money my mother took when she decided that we should run belonged to them. In Ichirou’s eyes, they still own Kevin and Jean too.”

“What does this have to do with you turning into a murderous little rage machine?” Matt rolled his eyes at Allison. 

“I made a deal with Ichirou.” Dan dropped her head into her hands while Nicky made a choked off sound. Aaron was tired of Josten making dumb decisions and not telling them. This is what happened when the fucking idiot ended up at Baltimore. “I wanted something and to get him to give in to that, I said he could have the majority of our earnings when we went pro.”

“Wait.” Neil turned his head towards Kevin, who was outwardly confused now. “You said he wanted a take of what we earned, that I knew. But you didn’t say it was in exchange for something, what did he give you?”

“I wanted Riko dealt with and he was.” Aaron’s eyes widened at that, as did the others in the room. Kevin went deathly pale and he stood slowly, looking at Neil as if he didn’t even know him. He opened and closed his mouth several times before he gave up and disappeared to his room without a word. Aaron had a feeling there was a bottle of vodka waiting for him to drown his sorrows in. Allison looked mildly impressed. 

“We all knew the suicide story was suspicious, but I didn’t think you had it in you.”

“I wanted him to pay for what he did. I walked out of that room and I laughed. But that’s why the nightmares have kicked in and I’ve picked up old habits, like sleeping with a weapon under my pillow. If Ichirou notices any slack, he will kill me.” Aaron looked to Andrew again, and his brother was staring back at Neil, as if waiting for him to fall apart. Dan stood, determination on her face and a fire in her eyes. 

“Then we help you stay on top of the game. We’ll fit in an extra practice a week and on the free period you share with Matt, he can discuss drills with you.” Aaron saw Matt smile and nod, receiving a dip of Neil’s head in return. “We’ll tell Coach that we’ll have an evening a week at the court, watching old games and seeing what we can take from them. No one gets to ruin this for you, they don’t get to take anything else.”

Nicky whooped and got up to hug Neil quickly, after he got the consent for one. Aaron wasn’t too happy about all this extra work for a sport he wasn’t even that bothered by, but he supposed he owed Neil this. After all, he was the one, no matter how stupidly he went about it, that finally managed their rag tag group work as a team and to become friends. He brought them together, and so Aaron would do this

So that they could stay together. 

~~~~~

They did get better over the weeks, and they won their next game, letting them progress further into this season. 

The session with Betsy continued, though progress on that front was slow going to begin with. Neil’s confession had broken the ice, and each of them would discuss assignments they were struggling with or the odd everyday problems life gave you. Betsy never pushed them, allowing them to get used to talking first before she tried diving for issues hidden deeper down. 

After a few weeks, Allison discussed her parents when she had gotten a phone call from her mother out of the blue. Apparently, they had started to notice how the foxes were on the up and up, and how much more media attention they were getting. Allison’s mother wanted to use her daughter for her own gain, to get their businesses promoted through the foxes and for Allison to start building their incomes through Exy. Aaron didn’t understand a lot of it, other than that his teammate’s parents were some of the most self centred assholes on the planet. After all this time, they hadn’t gotten in contact with Allison to see how she was or to ask about working on their own family issues, but just to see how they could make life better for them. The blonde had said in the one session that she finally told them where they could stick it, and if they wanted to cut her off from the money they could. If they didn’t want to love her as parents should, then she wanted nothing to do with them. 

When Allison ended her rant with the words ‘fuck them’, the foxes repeated them- even Andrew, to everyone’s surprise -loud and clear. Betsy tried to be reprimanding, but Aaron could see she was proud and trying valiantly to not smile with them. 

~~~~~

Some months or so after that, Aaron was attending one of his sessions where it was just him and Andrew. It was coming up to a year now since they’d first started these double sessions with Betsy, and he wasn’t ashamed to admit he liked coming to them. Yes, sometimes it was bad and they’d end then arguing heatedly, or sometimes, it would leave them exhausted but content that they were managing to get on to the same page with each other. And other times, well, those times managed to bring their walls crashing down. 

Today was one of those times. 

“Aaron, you don't look as if you’re well. Is everything alright? If you’re unable to sit through this one, you may go back and rest if you like.” He knew he must look like shit, after the night he’d had with his mind torturing him, but he felt as if this is why he’d been so plagued by nightmares the last few nights. Like Andrew had to know about them. 

“Nightmares.” His throat felt raw and scratchy, but he supposed that was normal when you wake yourself up by screaming yourself hoarse. 

“Are you able to tell us what they were or about?” He nodded, turning on the couch so he was angled to the left, making it easier for him to look directly at Andrew. His brother seemed unfazed as he usually did, but Aaron thought there was something different about him today, though he didn’t quite know exactly what was different. Maybe he felt like today was going to be better for them, too. 

“I thought I was already awake, because I was walking around the house in Columbia. It was too quiet, and the house was dark, and it was almost as if I could feel the shadows closing in around my shoulders.” He breathing became ragged and clenched a fist where his hand rested on his thigh. “I thought I heard glass smash and the sound of a thud, like something had hit the hardwood floor. It was muffled, coming from upstairs so I followed the sounds.” He closed his eyes and swallowed hard; it was like he was back in the nightmare and he couldn’t get out. 

“Aaron? Aaron, you can stop if you want to.” He shook his head, feeling part of his hair fall onto his forehead. 

“The noise was louder up there, coming from your room.” He opened his eyes again, catching his brother’s gaze, hazel eyes that matched his own. And they knew, they knew where Aaron’s nightmare was leading them, yet he didn’t flinch away. “I opened the door and it was back to that day, and Drake…” Andrew did not outwardly show any reaction to the name of his abuser, though Aaron saw his fingers stray to the edge of his armband. As if it soothed him to know he had a way to keep himself safe. “When I tried to get in there, it was like there was an invisible barrier in front of me. No matter how hard I kept hitting it, it never went away. I kept screaming at you, to look at me, so you’d know I was right there but there was nothing.” His cheeks felt wet and brought a hand up to find that those were tears running down his cheeks. 

Andrew’s eyes had widened, and the hand that was holding his armband started to drift towards Aaron, but stopped just shy of making contact. He took a few deep breaths before he felt like he could go on. “I closed my eyes after a while but I didn’t stop trying to get to you. Then all of a sudden I could hear laughing, and when I opened my eyes, I was back in that shitty apartment, before you came and Tilda had locked me in the closet. She had her Junkie friends over doing all sorts of shit, music on as high as possible.” He felt like he could breathe, as though someone kept on piling invisible weights on his chest, one after the other. “I had one toy, a couple of granola bars and a bottle of Gatorade, of all things. No matter how loud I shouted for her, she never came to let me out. I woke up screaming after that, scared Katelyn half to death.”  He’d kept his gaze on the floor when talking about his mother, knowing she was a touchy subject between them. 

There was a quick tap to his knee and, a bit reluctantly, he lifted his head to look at Andrew again. His brother was breathing a little heavier, and Aaron could see the way his chest moved. There was more emotion on his face than he’d ever seen. When he was on the meds it was different, it was just a constant sort of forced excitement. This was real and this was Andrew. His twin. “I’m going to hug you, yes or no?” Aaron almost choked on air at the words. Words he’d never expected to leave Andrew’s mouth. He saw Betsy falter just a little out of the corner of his eye, her own stalling from where she was writing things down. 

“Yes.” Then slowly, carefully, Andrew shifted forward so he could pull Aaron into him. His arms went around Aaron’s back, and he hesitated just a little before doing the same. Their cheeks rested against each other and when Andrew spoke next, Aaron could feel the words against his ear. 

“We’re okay, you hear me? Both of us. We’re a little bit broken, but we’re doing okay.” Aaron nodded, taking a stuttered breath. And if the two of them, the same yet not the same, held onto each other for just a little longer then that was just fine. 

They were just okay.

---------

Again, I’m sorry about the lateness! Hope you liked it:)) I’m also sorry it’s not as long as it was, but trying to remember everything to rewrite was so difficult.

[pipedream-parrish]

Happy 34th birthday, Twinyards

read on AO3

i

It is Aaron’s 14th birthday and he has just found out that he has a brother - a twin brother, an identical twin brother, who looks exactly like him and might just understand him, too. His mom didn’t do anything for his birthday - she hasn’t since he was little, or maybe those long-forgotten memories were really just dreams that have managed to worm their way so deep into his psyche that he’s accepted them as truth. The kids at school sang to him, which was fine, but Aaron can’t help but think maybe now it will be different. Maybe once he meets this brother of his, then they can celebrate their birthdays together. Maybe they can give each other presents, and eat cake, and blow out the candles using the combined forces of their breath. Maybe, maybe, maybe. 

(Andrew spends this birthday choking down cake that Cas got him, trying to hide the fresh marks on his arm, and thinking about the best way to keep his mysterious brother as far away from him as possible)

((one month later, Aaron receives a letter in the mail. He couldn’t tell you everything it said - he just knows that all of these maybes have just been thrown into the middle of a busy highway to be crushed under uncaring tires.))

ii

Its Aaron’s 15th birthday and his mother has celebrated by beating the shit out of him and then throwing a random assortment of pills from the bottom of her purse in his direction as an apology, and Aaron cannot help but think that maybe it won’t have to be like this anymore. He thinks about what Andrew said (Andrew, who really does look just like him, and who seemed so angry about Tilda, and seemed to believe that Aaron didn’t deserve, that he deserved good things--) had said to him, thinks about how maybe when Andrew moves his mom will stop it, maybe it’ll be alright, maybe nothing will hurt anymore and everything will be okay and he’ll have a brother. It’ll be the two of them against the world, and Aaron may not know this other boy all that well, but he promised to protect him, so that must mean something, right? Even if before that he said he didn’t want anything to do with Aaron, he changed his mind, and thats what matters, right? Right? And so when Aaron blows out the birthday candles that he bought for himself at eh convenience store the night before, he wishes for his brother to come home soon, and for them to be a family like they were supposed to be. Like he deserves.

((Six months later, Tilda is dead and Aaron has stopped believing in family.))

iii

It is Andrews’s 16th birthday and he has not spoken more than two words to his brother for most of the year, but Nicky tries to force them to do something, to celebrate, to be normal teenagers for once. Andrew leaves halfway through the elaborate dinner that Nicky has prepared, and pretends not to see the sad look he aims at his retreating back. Pretends that he doesn’t care what Nicky thinks of him, what Aarons thinks of him. Pretends that he stopped caring about Cass, that actually he didn’t care about that, either. Pretends and pretends and pretends, and convinces everyone but himself. 

((He’s not so great at lying to himself yet. He’ll get better with age.)) 

Late that night, after he’s heard everyone else going to bed, he sneaks downstairs and steals a slice of the double-chocolate cake that Nicky got them. There are already a couple of slices out from where Nicky and Aaron had some, so hopefully, this moment of weakness will go unnoticed. 

(Aaron spends his 16th birthday sad and mourning, refusing to look his brother in the eye. When he blows out the birthday candles with no help from a magical brother, he wishes that he never met Andrew in the first place. Not that he believes in magic or wishes or anything good at all, anymore. He barely has a bite of his cake before leaving the table. He, too, pretends not to see Nicky’s teary eyes as he leaves him standing alone in the kitchen, the remnants of a wasted attempt at love scattered all around him)

((he, too, is not so great at lying to himself yet. He, too, will get better with age))

(Nevertheless, when he hears Andrew come downstairs in the dead of night, he creeps into the hallway to watch his petty theft)

((He never mentions it.))

iv

It is Andrew’s 17th birthday and he is so high off the ground that he never even realizes the date.

Or maybe he does and just forgets.

The meds are still new, and he’s not used to them yet. Not used to the loudness, and brightness, and plastered on a smile. His cheeks hurt all the time now - he is constantly working muscles that have not had much use, the last couple of years 

(the last couple of lifetimes)

Needless to say, it is Andrew’s 17th birthday and he does not even realize it, and instead, he spends it in his room, his precious room that has a lock that works, coming apart at all his frying edges. Boys like him were never meant to grow old. Boys like him were never meant to last. And so he lays there and shakes uncontrollably, and laughs, too, tells himself this is fine, he’s fine it’s all fine and knows better than to believes it. Perhaps it is a mercy, that he eventually gets used to the meds. 

Perhaps it is not.

(Aaron doesn’t celebrate his birthday, either. Instead, he picks up extra shifts at Edens and goes to bed early. 

He cannot wait to leave this fucking house)

v

It is Aaron’s 18th birthday, meaning that he is a legal adult. He finds this funny. He has always been an adult; he was an adult when he was four and creeping across the house on silent feet to steal crackers from the pantry because mom forgot to feed him; he was an adult when he was 10 and forging his mothers signature on school papers, and making excuses for why she couldn’t come into parent-teacher conference night; he was an adult when he was sitting across from his reflection in a juvenile detention facility, and promised protection. One more birthday doesn’t mean shit.

(Andrew agrees. He, too, has been an adult for as long as he can remember.)

((Still, when Nicky slips cards under each of their doors wishing them a happy birthday and telling them he’s proud of them, and that he hopes that adulthood treats them right, well. If Aaron squeezes his eyes shut as hard as he can to prevent the tears from escaping, and if Andrew tares it up into a million pieces because it almost makes him feel something, then no one needs to know))

vi

It is November 4th, and the newly-coined monsters are in Columbia, just like they are most weekends. They make the same stops as always, go to the same club, the same restaurant. 

Never once is the word birthday mentioned.

vii

It is Andrew’s 20th birthday and he is about to make one of the worst mistakes of his life. For now, he sits against the windowsill, watching his smoke dissipate into the afternoon air, absently listening to the sounds of Nicky and Aaron’s video game wash over him. He’s grinning, as is usually is these days, and if he was capable of having a long-lasting coherent thought, he would want to carve that grin off his face.

Alas, he is not capable of long-lasting coherent thought. Oh well. Perhaps it’s for the best.

Renee got him a gift. Silly Renee. Always so nice, so kind, even to monsters like him. Hasn’t she learned better than that by now? It seems not.

When Nicky receives a phone call that leaves him in a panic, it is almost enough to garner Andrew’s attention. 

Almost.

When he leaves the room in a rush only to come beach with Neil, the enigma, the hallucination, the rabbit, in tow behind him, Andrew actually does start to pay attention. Only a little though. 

When Neil pulls him aside, and asks for the unimaginable, and then manages to make it seem like a good idea, well. Andrew’s interest has been peaked, and he agrees. Why not? It might be fun. Might be, might be, might be.

(It’s not. It’s not fun at all, and if nothing else then Andrew is finally allowed to leave that smile behind for good. Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me, happy birthday dear Andrew, happy birthday to me!)

((Aaron spends his birthday playing video games and wondering why the new kid holds such sway over his brother. When he looks back on that day, he will not remember any of that. He will only remember that that was the day everything went wrong, and he was unable to fix it.))

viii

It is Andrew’s 21st birthday, and it might just be a good one. No alarm wakes him up in the morning, even though he’s sure he set it last night, meaning he gets to sleep in. When he wakes up it’s to Neil bustling about the dorm room, clearly searching for something.

“Practice?” Andrew asks and is told in no uncertain terms that they will be blowing it off for the day. Yes, today is shaping up to be a good one.

Instead, they go out driving, blazing down empty roads as fast as the mas will take them, eating up millage and gas money and caring at all. Neil rolls down the window and lets out victorious whoops into the still afternoon, the wind flushing his cheeks and tousling his hair. Andrew almost thinks something disgustingly sappy about that but is able to rain in his own brain just in time. 

They got greasy diner food for lunch, and Andrew orders a massive ice cream Sunday that Neil doesn’t comment on. They go back to Fox Tower and lounge around their dorm, kissing and smoking and playing video games. They have pancakes for dinner, and Kevin doesn’t bother them once about going to tonight’s practice. Andrew goes to bed full and sated, and almost, almost, happy. It’s a good birthday.

((the next day at therapy, Aaron complains that he didn’t get to skip practice yesterday. Andrew shrugs and says that he should take notes for next year. It’s almost an invitation. Almost, but not quite.))

ix

It is Aarons’s 22nd birthday, and he takes a leaf out of Andrew’s book and skips practice. He and Katelyn drive into town, and walk up and down the streets, popping into stores at random and picking out delightfully ugly things for the other to buy. In one shop, Katelyn shows Aaron a shirt made from a disgusting green fabric with the gaudiest floral pattern he’s ever seen. In another, Aaron finds shimmering, sparkle filled pink and purple shoes with a six-inch heel. They both nearly get sick from laughing. That night, they go out to the fanciest restaurant they can afford and get wine drunk. Aaron tells Katelyn that he loves her, which is something that he’s told her a million times before, but that doesn’t stop it from mattering. This will always matter. She will always matter. He looks at her, just looks at her, and thinks about how lucky he is to have this. And he thinks about Andrew, just for a second, curses him for keeping her from Aaron. But then, for an even shorter second, the thought occurs to him. I hope he’s as happy right now with Neil as I am with her. 

((Andrew may not show it the same way, but he is. He is.))

x

It is their 25 birthday now (which it longer than either of them thought they would live), and after years of therapy and working through their issues, Aaron has decided once again that he wants a brother. And so he books a flight to Boston, and buys a ticket to Andrews game, and watches his brother play exy on their birthday. Their birthday. Sometimes he still forgets that they are a “they” now. He'll still say my birthday, my mom, my cousin, my family. But it's not just his, and so he meets Andrew at the player’s exit after the game and forces him to go to dinner with him. And they spend their birthday together, just the two of them, for the first time since they were born. And its-

Well, it’s not bad. It's kind of nice, actually. Stilted, at first, and undoubtedly awkward, but. 

But they’re still brothers, even after everything. They share family and history and most of their DNA, so it seems right that they also share a dinner. And they talk, about Andrew’s pro team and Aarons residency, and about halfway through Aaron realizes that even though he was the one who forced this, Andrew isn’t trying to stop it. He came with him to dinner, and he’s talked more in the last hour then Aaron thinks he ever has before, and Aaron realizes that he wants this too. Andrew wants a brother too. They part ways outside - Andrew doesn’t offer to drive him back to his hotel or to let him stay at his apartment, but that’s ok.

Because Andrew wants this too. 

Andrew wants this too.

epilogue 

It is the Minyard twins’ 34th birthday, and as has become a tradition they are each awoken by a phone call from Nicky. Aaron only grumbles for a moment before Katelyn is handing his phone to him and he’s picking up. Andrew takes longer, turning over and burying his face in Neil’s neck for a second or a minute or a year, before finally grabbing his phone. To be fair, it’s about 2 hours earlier for him than for his brother. When he was younger he would hang up, and Nicky would call back, and he’d hang up again, until around the third call when he would finally give in and answer and phone. He doesn’t hang up anymore. He supposes that he’s grown. It’s a facetime call, so he’s greeted with Nicky’s over-enthusiastic smile and Aarons bedhead that looks so much like his own. He props himself up on some pillows so that he’s nearly in a sitting position, and gives a halfhearted wave. Beside him, Neil stays lying down, curling himself into Andrew’s side. Andrew absently starts carding his fingers through his hair. Nicky starts to talk, telling them about the business, and the adoption process, and the cute thing that his and Erik’s dog did. King jumps up onto Andrew’s chest, and then there’s a lot of cooing over how cute she is. She starts to lick at Andrew’s temple, which makes everyone laugh and Andrew rolls his eyes. It’s ok. He doesn’t really mind. Aaron talks about the hospital, and then his toddler (who is really more of a kid now, she’s getting so big holy shit) bursts into the room, climbing up onto the bed. She says hi to her Uncle Andy (Neil taught her to say that when she was a baby, and it tuck. Again, Andrew doesn’t really mind) and Uncle Neil, and her cousins Nicky and Erik. they talk more, Andrew waking up and partaking in the conversion, occasionally mouthing things to Neil in Russian to make him laugh. He loves it when Neil laughs (he’s not so concerned with not thinking sappy things anymore).

It’s a good start to a good day. They order take out and eat it on the floor, just like they do every year. Neil gets him a cake, and he sings happy birthday, just like they do every year. 

A plane ride away, Aaron and Katelyn hire a babysitter and go out to dinner, just like they do every year. Katelyn gets him a loudly collared tie, just like she does every year.

It’s a good day for both boys (who are now much closer to men), but more than that, it is a good day for both brothers. For that is undoubtedly what they are now. Brothers. 

That night, they both get a text from Betsy. It says Happy birthday, my lovely boys. I hope this year treats you well. 

And then it does.

It does.

thanks for reading! if you reblog i’ll love you forever :)

[vendettacanons]

⚔️ CHARACTER TAG ⚔️

SENT BY: @maximuses​

TAGGING: Anyone who feels like doing it!

NAME: Katelyn Nicole Windell

ALIAS/NICKNAMES: Kate, Katie, Katie Lynn, Austin’s Girl, Little Rodeo, Sunflower

GENDER: Female

AGE: 39

ZODIAC:  Aries

ABILITIES/TALENTS: Intelligent, Strong, Agile, Resourceful, Good Leader

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

ALIGNMENT: lawful / neutral / chaotic / good / neutral / evil / true

RELIGION: Christian (never aligned with any particular sect.)

SINS: envy / greed / gluttony / lust / pride / sloth / wrath

Explanation: Envy - During the period where she was grieving the loss of her mother, Kate was jealous that other people around her got the chance to have a complete family while she didn’t. Gluttony - overindulging in her coping (exercise, then alcohol later on) mechanisms to such an extent no one could reach her. Pride - Kate has always had trouble putting her pride aside to ask for help. She’d rather struggle and fight a losing battle than admit hen she’s outmatched. Sloth - definitely her biggest sin. Tying back into her alcoholism, she’d often drink herself to the point of not being able to do anything, even when people needed her. What makes this sloth is not the fact that she couldn’t control, it was that she knew what she was doing and refused to get help or do anything to get better because she just lacked the care for herself and the motivation to do it. Wrath - this was more prevalent in her youth. Her original coping mechanism was over exercising and she ended up playing team sports so aggressively as a form of venting that she was eventually removed from the teams by the coaches.

VIRTUES:  charity / chastity / diligence / humility / justice / kindness / patience

LANGUAGES: English, German, Italian, ASL

FAMILY: Catherine Windell (mother, deceased), Austin Windell father, estranged)

FRIENDS: Luka Bianchi (friend from the service, former roommate), Percival Wagner (friend from the service, former roommate), Jason Storm (friend from the service, former roommate)

SEXUALITY: heterosexual / bisexual / pansexual / homosexual / demisexual / asexual / unsure / other

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: single / dating / married / widowed / open relationship / divorced / not ready for dating / it’s complicated

LIBIDO:  sex god / very high / high / average / low / very low / non-existent

BUILD:  slender / average / athletic / muscular / curvy

HAIR: white / blonde / brunette / red / black / other

EYES: brown / blue-gray / green / black / other

SKIN: pale / fair / olive / light brown / brown / dark / other

HEIGHT: 5′6″ (167.64 centimeters)

SCARS: Scars on the right side of her face running from the edge of her brow and temporal down to her jaw, scars on her abdomen from improvised surgery

FEATURES: Conventionally attractive features, blond hair, intelligent green eyes, solid posture, imposing stance, always dressed neatly and presentably

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dogs or cats || birds and bugs || snakes or spiders || coffee or tea || ice cream or cake neither, unless Luka made it || fruits and vegetables || sandwich or soup || magic or melee || sword or bow || summer or winter or spring or autumn || past or future

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FIVE SONGS THAT REMIND YOU OF THEM:

Try - P!nk

The Fighter - Gym Class Heroes ft. Ryan Tedder

Breaking the Habit - Linkin Park

Burn It Down - Fitz and the Tantrums

How Far I’ll Go - Alessia Cara

[faedawayyy]

A Useless Guide to the Carmichaels

DISCLAIMER: this is a bunch of headcanons that i’ve come up with. OBVIOUSLY since synn and katie and nadine and meg in a way have characters that are tied to their family...BUt these are my original headcanons for the family, so if things aren’t quite right or sound different, it’s bc they’re my most developed family and it’s the way i’ve written them in canon verse!

SYLVIA CARMICHAEL - GRANDMOTHER

sylvia’s family are russian and came over to england after the war. her father was a general and her mother was a seamstress and she was raised in a very, very conservative and upper-class family. she went and studied at st andrews in edinburgh and that’s where she met hank carmichael, who her  father always pushed her towards from the moment he knew of him.  sylvia carries a lot of her family values and clashed with her GEN X kids because their ideologies were so different. for example, she sturggled edwin’s sexuality and oliver’s more liberal mannerisms. it doesn’t stop her from trying to “guide” her grandchildren.

HANK CARMICHAEL - GRANDMOTHER

hank was born and raised in england. his father was an extremely wealthy banker, his mother died when he was young but he never really thought about her because his father never spoke of her. he was raised mainly by his aunt while his father worked around the clock. they were an extremely wealthy family and when he was old enough, hank attended boarding school. he never really had parental guidance and his creativity always ran wild. he was trouble at school, but smart enough not to get caught.  after he graduated from st andrews and moved in with sylvia, he invested his entire trust-fund into a book publishing business, which is still successful to this day. he’s a huge family man due to not having one when he was younger

second generation.

EDWIN CARMICHAEL

edwin is the oldest of sylvia’s and hank’s children and always worked hard to be a people pleaser. he was often referred to as the golden child and the absolute brightest star in his mother’s sky. from an early age, he showed interest in entertainment which hank inspired and supported.

things changed for edwin in the middle of high school when he decided to come out about his sexuality. he was severely bullied and his relationship with sylvia broke down. he STILL hasn’t got the best relationship with his mother, especially after he married his husband, but they stay civil for the rest of the family’s sake. 

he now works in property and lost his confidence in acting when he was bullied.

OLIVER CARMICHAEL

SYNN’S CHARACTER, BUT HERE IS HOW I INTERPRET HIM. oliver is the second oldest child of sylvia and hank. he was rebellious from the start. he never enjoyed trying to live up to edwin’s golden standard, he hated the events and the social climbing. he just wanted to be a regular kid and have regular experiences, but it never happened for him.  when he was 18, it hit him that he was an adult and sylvia and hank have 0 influence over him. he took his trustfund, travelled and got the hell out of violet springs. however, just like with everybody else, age caught him up and he ended up settling in london with a woman he met while backpacking in australia.  he likes his children knowing their family, so he reluctantly shows up to family events but you’d never catch either of them in violet springs if they didn’t have to be.

JAMES CARMICHAEL

james is the middle child and arguably the most successful of the carmichael’s. he was never the favourite and had a streak in him that caused him to clash with hank from a young age. he was a loveable rouge who grew into a loveable white-collard criminal. he was smarter than he let on and had endless ambition.  like edwin, he attended university but instead of picking a profession that hid away from his true ambition, he invested his entire trustfund into a studio in los angeles where he planned to make amazing films...it paid off. he married his wife (patricia) who he met when she worked as a set designer on one of his projects, but it wasn’t all happily ever after.  james played around with money a little too much and tried to take out his competition in shady ways. this led to things getting too much for him and he faked his death almost a year ago. all of his family beside mason believe him to be dead.

JOHNATHAN CARMICHAEL

completely synn’s character, the father of theo

SINEAD CARMICHAEL

sinead was the only girl of five children and completely used it to her advantage. she watched the way her brother’s and father knew how to dominate rooms, conversations and other people. she grew up with the mindset that she could have absolutely anything she wanted, as long as she worked (or cheated) hard enough for it.  sinead dropped out of school at 15 and almost gave her mother an hernia. she blew most of her trust fund on a sweet 16 and then a sweet 18, anything that was left went on her 21st. she’s a very “live in the moment” woman and cares little for consequences.  she actually ended up teaming up with james and starring in a few of his earliest projects before becoming an actress in her own right. she’s blacklisted by a lot of hollywood producers for her refusal to submit and listen to direction. she’s head strong and does what she likes. 

third generation.

RUBY ROSINI - ADOPTED DAUGHTER OF EDWIN.

when ruby was adopted by edwin, there was all round excitement from every single member of the family; a little, brown-eyed girl from italy arriving on their doorsteps. she was so different from the majority blue-eyed children who filled the family tree. the cousins all immediately became protective of her and loved getting to know who she was as a person. now they’re grown up, she’s viewed as a cousin and it’s easy to forget that she was ever adopted or came from anywhere else. 

THOMAS CARMICHAEL - SON OF OLIVER 

thomas is the oldest son of oliver and like his dad, he’s a bit of a free spirit but unlike his dad, he’s a lot more laidback and less likely to clash or argue with anyone. as far as carmichael’s go, he’s quite wholesome and kind and oliver will 100% say that it’s because he was raised away from the madness of their family.  however, growing up away from the others isn’t as good in his eyes as it is in his dad’s. he often feels boring and on the outside, he will always do his best to fit in with the other guys and is easily manipulated. as a child, he got into trouble so many times from listening to the shit brody and leo used to tell him to do. even to this day, he’s overly loyal and attached to them because he’s desperate to feel a real part of the family.

KATELYN CARMICHAEL - DAUGHTER OF OLIVER

katelyn is the oldest of the third generation and oliver’s daughter. she’s blunt, witty and doesn’t mince her words. unlike most of the women in her family, she cares little for appearances or staying in certain social circles. she’s a drama teacher in a high school and enjoys living a normal life, but does dip into the funds of her family name every now and then to have a bit of fun.  she’s a blast at family parties and everybody is always excited to see what scandalous or stupid thing she’ll do next to annoy her grandmother. 

ANASTASIA CARMICHAEL - DAUGHTER OF JAMES 

the oldest of james’ children and undeniably the real favourite. she’s an overachiever and type of girl who was good at everything in school and still is; she’s athletic, artistic, academic, a good mother, an amazing business woman, she’s smart, she’s intuitive, she’s healthy and rarely loses in competitions with her siblings or anyone else for that matter.

anastasia has her daughter, darcy, and is engaged to ryder banks. there’s no love there but like her grandmother, she understands the importance of appearances. you’d have to be crazy if you thought she hasn’t had a string of affairs and STILL has them. however, she also has standards and is very selective over who she lets get close. 

darcy is her #1 priority and she’ll fight fiercely to make sure she always stays that way.

LEONARDO CARMICHAEL - SON OF JAMES

leo is james’ oldest son and again, like anastasia, kind of set the bar in the early days for the rest of his siblings. when it was the two of them and mason, everything was about leo and anastasia, they grew up in constant competition; leo tended to always fall short of his sister’s achievements. however, as they grew and the two of them came into their own, it was clear that leo was never going to be one to be in the shadows for too long - starting with gaining the attention from girls as he grew through high school. even girls in brody’s and miles’s year were heart-eyes over him and he was a few years older.  yet, just like with the rest of his siblings, he was promised and later engaged to somebody that his father handpicked for him to ensure the carmichael wealth wouldn’t dwindle out and fall into the wrong, new money hands.  OOC//i could write more but it doesnt feel right bc he’s now katie’s character. obviously i have my own ideas/fiancee for original leo! 

MASON CARMICHAEL - SON OF JAMES

mason broke the trend of extroverted, go-getter type kids and ended up being the quietest and youngest of the bunch until miles was born. he was a big momma’s boy growing up, and even though he’s never really felt like the favourite, he always enjoyed the company of adults and quieter environments compared to his siblings who would thrive around kids of their own age.  mason is wise beyond his years and it’s a running joke that he was supposed to be born first. he is the only one that knows james isn’t dead and was trusted with this information because even though brody was the favourite by a longshot, james knew mason would keep it quiet and be less affected by the secret.  mason both hates and loves being a part of the carmichaels. he loves his family but also hates the madness that comes along with it.

BRODY CARMICHAEL - SON OF JAMES 

brody never really had to work to be the favourite of his parents - he just is. he had the right amount of intelligence, cockiness and charm to keep adults on side throughout his whole life. ironically, out of everybody in the third generation, he’s probably the biggest fuck up too but the adults turn a blind eye to it because it’s him.  a huge reason he’s favoured by james is because he was clearly enough for charles to allow him to marry his oldest daughter, disney. this was such a big deal for james because charles has a LOT of connections (shady and not shady) in the entertainment industry and he knew the merger between the companies would keep the carmichael legacy in tact for generations.  brody usually rises to being the favourite and is slightly smug about it, but he also cracks the most under pressure and has had dozens of meltdowns over the span of his life growing up.

MILES CARMICHAEL - SON OF JAMES

miles is the youngest...son...of james. james has no idea that patricia had an affair and that miles isn’t actually his son. miles has always struggled severely with keeping up with his siblings. he developed common but crippling mental health issues in his pre-teen years such as depression and anxiety. it started with acting out and being a “problem child” but quickly developed in being too scared to leave the house. he locked himself away and wasted away his young years not really interacting with anyone outside of his immediate family. on top of that, he had he achievements of brody, mason, anastasia and leo to remind him of what a failure is...eventually he just stopped trying.  these days his siblings are supportive and aware of how he can get. his cynicism is literally his humour and he’s just taking one day at a time.

BELLA CARMICHAEL - DAUGHTER OF JAMES

bella was dubbed the next brody. all of her siblings adore her and so do her parents and grandparents. she’s the second child who can do absolutely no wrong in anybody’s eyes. bella was a young star and worked in hollywood making tv cameos long before she started school. she had two lives; her school and dance life, and her celebrity life. she grew up with more life experience than other kids and this made her painfully cunning. she knew exactly how to get people on side and had whoever she wanted wrapped around her little finger.  she and brody were hit hardest by james’s death. bella was all over the place and gained a little weight - something she wasn’t familiar with after being petite her whole life. she’s now just trying to stable herself again.

THEO CARMICHAEL - SON OF JOHNATHAN

SYNN’S CHARACTER

HERA CARMICHAEL-RUSH

hera is the middle child of sinead. she too is inteligent and calculated but she’s also the opposite of the james’s girls. hera has never worked a day in her life and has no intention to. she’s a socialite and just like her mother, does what she wants when she wants to. she lives off of mommy’s money (because her dad bailed on them and honestly, fuck him). hera also came out as bisexual at a christmas party because she knew it’d make sylvia uncomfortable. she’s a wind up and enjoys getting a rise out of people.

OPHELIA CARMICHAEL-RUSH

ophelia is old enough to remember the messy divorce of her parents and adopted her mother’s bad-ass and care free attitude towards it from that day on. she hates her dad for what he did to their family but doesn’t let it hold her back and when she turned 18, she took him to court to keep her name on the inheritance of his million dollar winery business...and won. she’s the trailblazer for her quieter and more introverted siblings. she’s someone who knows she’s gorgeous and uses her looks to her advantage. 

LUNA CARMICHAEL-RUSH

luna has always been shy and hid behind the bolder personalities of her sister’s. she used to feel boring because of it but has quickly accepted that’s who she is and she’s happy with it. as she becomes 26, she’s starting to feel extremely embarrassed and insecure about her lack of experience with anybody. yet, her father walking out makes her find it hard to connect with and trust people. she has high standards and no standards at the same time and is really lost in terms of her romantic relationships. HOWEVER, she is thriving in her career and mason has featured her as an actress in many projects. she currently attends rosewell and enjoys the french culture.

DAMUS CARMICHAEL-RUSH

damus is a pastiche of every criminal and calculated act a carmichael before him has committed. he actively seeks out trouble and due to not being able to find his “place” in the family, he seems to like to win the affections of his elders by getting involved in dodgy dealings that they’ve set up - particularly those of james and johnathan. damus gets a rush out of being in on his family’s darkest secrets but he also feels like a spare part - the one who gets put into dangerous scenarios because the others are too precious to do so.

third generation age order: - katelyn  - anastasia  - leo - thomas - ophelia   - mason  - brody - hera - luna   - ruby - miles   - bella  - damus 

fourth generation (work in progress): - darcy and wren, children of anastasia  - fleur and dixie, daughters of brody  - victoria and peter, children of mason  - jacob and harlow, son of theo

[reddie-fangirl24]

'you're glowing' with reddie please 🖤🖤

THANK YOU FOR YOUR COMMISSION!

NOTE: This is also @katelyn-rose2‘s request to have a Reddie crossover of the famous Unchained Melody pottery scene from the film, Ghost. I wrote it with 1990 Reddie. Enjoy it!

Support me on my Ko-Fi! 

On an evening where Richie did not have any performances, he was home for the night. He and Eddie hadn’t spent much together in the past few weeks. For most of the evening, Richie spent reflecting on the past. Two years ago, Mike Hanlon brought the Losers back to Derry to defeat the menacing clown once and for all. Once they checked that off the list, Richie didn’t leave Derry alone. 

Eddie was believed to have died after he bravely stepped in to save his friends from the deadlights. Luckily, Richie carried him out only for the man with golden hair to utter his name when they got out of the sewers. Following that, Eddie spent hundreds of hours in the hospital recuperating. 

Eddie’s bones took a while to heal even hindering him to a wheelchair for some time. Richie refused to let him give in to deeming himself as a cripple as his mother did. That woman wanted to put her own son in an assistant living home!

No way in hell did that happen. In fact, something that Richie never expected in his wildest dreams happened. For about a year, he and Eddie dated. It wasn’t like the relationship was out of the blue or anything. These feelings had been manifesting for a long time. And Richie denied the feelings for some time. That must have been why all those four or five marriages and engagements didn’t work out. 

That night, Eddie was working on pottery in the bedroom while Richie flipped through the channels. Nothing entertaining on. That was when he had an idea. 

Hearing music turn on, Eddie concentrated on his project. He started taking pottery lessons as a way to build up the strength in his arm muscles. They suffered the worst from the incident. He never realized how creative he was. He set his art by the window to which people marveled over. Richie also used some of his sculptures as decorations in some of his acts. 

‘Oh, my love, my darling, I’ve hungered for your touch...’

“Hey, Spaghetti-Man,” Richie greeted leaning against the door frame. 

Eddie turned around. He was completely distracted with the way Richie stood in the doorway, his little mustache curving over his mouth as he smiled. He looked so handsome. 

“Hi,” he greeted him, with a sweet smile. 

“What’s up?”

“Making a vase.”

Richie hummed, staring him up and down. Eddie knew that look very well. On the night when they first made love, Richie stared at him just like that, making sure that he felt safe. Feeling his heart racing, that night was the best night Eddie ever had. All those years, waiting, feeling unsure, to have Richie make him a man. It was all so worth it.

Returning his focus back on the pottery which almost collapsed, gliding his hands up and down, somebody sat close behind him. A hand tickled at his side. 

“Hey, you know that tickles!” Eddie giggled, trying to elbow Richie. Richie laughed, watching him create his sculpture for a moment.

Ignoring him, Richie nibbled at his ear, kissing down his neck. Goosebumps erupted on Eddie’s skin making him in delight. The man smoothed his hands across his shoulders and down his arms, feeling the sticky pottery encased on his hands and wrists as they tried to create a piece of pottery together. Richie attempted to make one once. He completely wrecked the house forced the two of them to clean up the mess. 

Losing his focus, Eddie’s entire creation broke down, limp.

“Timber!” Richie belted, holding Eddie around his stomach and pulling him close. He smoothed his hands back down his arms and to his hands again. He loved the feeling of Eddie’s soft hands that were so gentle. 

Eddie turned around, giving him a look. “Did you do that on purpose?”

“Who me?”

“You’re bored, aren’t you?”

Richie smoothed his hands up his boyfriend’s spine. “What makes you say that, Eddie?”

Succumbing to Richie’s game, Eddie turned around and caught Richie’s lips, kissing him. His mustache always tickled his face. Once Richie asked him if he should shave it off. Eddie immediately dispersed the idea. That was Richie’s trademark. 

‘Oh, my love...’

The music surrounded the room, making the moment all the more intimate. As they kissed, Eddie went ahead and unbuttoned Richie’s shirt, letting his clammy hands smooth down the flesh of his back. At first, Richie thought about picking Eddie up and spinning him through the air, but who was he kidding? He wasn’t in his twenties anymore. 

‘Time goes by so slowly, and time can do so much...’

“Hey, you’re getting me filthy,” Richie joked between the kisses which slowly became more heated. Eddie had a strong tongue which surprised him the first time they made out. 

Eddie looked at him, an electric stare that made Richie’s insides skyrocket. Reaching down he grabbed Eddie’s behind making the man jump in surprise but smile even more. His teeth bit at his lips. How was he so cute? “Don’t you like getting dirty?” And he kissed his heart.

“Oh, aren’t you the little demon tonight?” Richie unhooked the man’s suspender straps and whipped his shirt off. Flesh to flesh, the men kissed slowly dancing in the room to the music, continuing to feel each others soft skin. Eddie’s hand descending against his chest, to his stomach, until Richie felt a hand find its way into his pants making him yell out in delight.

Falling into the bed and whipping off their clothing, excited screams echoed throughout the room until Richie collapsed on Eddie’s chest. Gasping to catch his breath, Eddie picked up his boyfriend’s fast so he could look into his swimming eyes. 

‘I need your love, God speed your love to me.’

“You’re growing,” Richie told him. “Just like a heaping bowl of...”

“If you say it, Richie, I’ll knock you off the bed!” Eddie warned him.

For once, Richie kept his mouth shut and they cuddled in their embrace from the rest of the evening.

[darkblueboxs]

Thoughts on Aaron and Matt’s relationship as the become roommates and definitely after the extra content on Aaron and Matt’s mom.

Couldn’t track down said extra content but their post-canon roomsharing is tragically unexplored so here we go

*

Moving out of the monster’s dorm is Aaron’s first cold, sharp lungful of freedom after years of having his head held underwater. Freedom, it transpires, tastes like gummy bears and leftover pizza and whatever other crap Matt likes to clog his arteries with. Aaron elects to ignore the smell; the important part is the long-awaited independence. If only he could ignore his new roommate so easily.

Aaron hasn’t been there five minutes before Katelyn is cheering on the other end of his phone, and ten minutes later she’s helping him unpack his books and arrange his desk the way he likes it. The prospect of being able to come over to Aaron’s dorm whenever she likes without fear of being sliced open by his psychotic twin is clearly an enticing one for Katelyn. Regular access to a bedroom shared with only one other student is equally appealing, for obvious reasons.

They don’t waste much time on that front; Katelyn hops up on Aaron’s desk and pulls him in, first with her eyes and then with her arms, and Aaron is happy to follow. Finally, finally, finally, he is allowed to have something good in his life.

The key part now is to make sure he doesn’t fuck it up.

Aaron is interrupted from nervously fidgeting his way towards the clasp on Katelyn’s bra by the sound of Matt walking into the locked door with a thud. Aaron swears and pats his hair back down into its usual shape while Katelyn buttons up her blouse with a sheepish smile.

He stumbles over and unhooks the latch before Matt can start complaining. Judging by the blinding grin he’s met with, Matt hasn’t been fooled. “Settling in okay?”

“Great,” Aaron grunts. Katelyn smiles at Matt, and Aaron fights down a flare of jealousy. Katelyn can smile at whoever she wants to, and Aaron refuses to become an angry, possessive psycho like his brother.

“I’ll leave you guys to get to know each other. Well, you already know each other, but, you know.” Katelyn stoops to press a kiss to Aaron’s cheek, which goes some way to soothing the sting of her departure. “Catch you later, babe.”

“Yeah,” says Aaron faintly, hating how fucking pleased Boyd looks at the display. His new roommate needs to learn a serious lesson in minding his own damn business.

Aaron spent his first years at Palmetto steadfastly ignoring every team member outside his family, and despite the Foxes’ newfound unity, he still has little interest in building bridges. Too much effort, far too late. For their first weeks sharing the apartment, Aaron avoids Matt, keeping his head in his books and spending his nights in Katelyn’s dorm.

Eventually Katelyn broaches the topic, not because she wants to spend more time in Aaron’s dorm and less time inconveniencing her roommate, but because that’s the kind of person Katelyn is. She believes in people, believes in Aaron. So much so that she makes him want to believe in himself. She suggests – not in a preachy or demanding way, but kindly – that he might find his living situation a lot more bearable if he made at least some effort with his roommate.

And because it’s Katelyn, who Aaron will never be good at saying no to, Aaron throws Matt a bone.

“We’re going to Columbia tonight. Dress nice,” Aaron says without slowing on his way to his bedroom.

“Oh. Oh, cool, who else is coming?”

“Don’t know, don’t care.” Aaron shuts the door behind him. It’s the thought that counts, not the delivery.

Aaron means to make an effort when the night comes, but soon he’s floating on a cloud of alcohol and cracker dust, and it’s hard to concentrate on things like bonding and conversation when Eden’s bassline is calling him. Matt spends most of his time on the dancefloor with Dan and Renee, and the night passes in a hazy, unremarkable way.

The next day, Matt won’t look him in the eye. Aaron casts his mind back for something particularly embarrassing he did the night before and draws a blank. It’s only when he sees the nervous way Matt rakes his fingernails over track marks dotting his inner arms that Aaron realises they have a real problem on their hands. The gesture is uncomfortably familiar, and not just because Aaron has seen Matt doing it before.

Aaron drops his PlayStation controller to the floor with a deliberate thud. “What,” he says, barely a question.

Matt lets out a huff of air. “I didn’t realise… I didn’t know you still used.”

“It’s dust, it’s nothing,” says Aaron dismissively. “Why do you care?”

Matt slumps into the beanbag beside him, clenching and unclenching his fists. It takes Aaron a beat to realise that he’s angry. “Everything your brother did to me during your first year,” he says, “was to make sure you stayed clean. And you’re not. I started caring when you made it my business.”

“Not my problem,” says Aaron. It comes out harsher than he means it to. “If you don’t like it, you can go running to Flamer Paradise next door, see what they have to say.”

Matt’s jaw clenches. “Really? Flamer? Are you still hung up on this?”

“I don’t give a shit. Take a page from my book and fuck off.”

Matt climbs back to his feet, his face like thunder. “You’re going to make a shitty doctor, you know?”

Aaron is on his feet in an instant, barely reaching Matt’s chest. “Fuck you. Cracker dust isn’t even dangerous, it just-”

“Not because of the dust.” Matt steps forward, and it takes everything Aaron has not to flinch. “Because you don’t give a shit. About yourself or anyone else, and god help any gay patients who might have to rely on you to help them. Have some goddamn self-respect.” His piece said, Matt stalks from the room before the argument can descend into a fistfight.

Aaron stands alone in the living room with his fists clenched for longer than he can count, wishing he had someone’s face on hand to put his fist through.

Katelyn is, as always, his reprieve. She listens to his venting sympathetically and without judgement, even though Aaron suspects that she may privately disagree with him. Aaron can respect that; it’s the support that she shows him regardless that leads him down from the cliff-edge of his anger. And, if Aaron is being completely, brutally honest with himself, Matt might have had a point or two.

It takes him some time to be ready to return to his dorm, and even longer before he’s ready to look Matt in the eye again.

“I’m sorry,” says Matt after one day too many of awkward silence. Aaron pauses his game, trying to arrange his features to hide his surprise; when his mother lost her temper, she would spend days clattering around the house in silent fury while refusing to acknowledge that anything had happened. Matt’s direct approach is unsettling, and it takes Aaron a moment to accept it for what it is – an olive branch. “Look, we have our differences. That’s obvious. I know you don’t want to be here. But this year the team came together in a way I could never have imagined. Maybe we can too?”

Aaron stares for a long moment. Finally, he nudges the second PlayStation controller in Matt’s direction. “This game works better as a multiplayer, so…”

Matt drops into the beanbag beside him, relief washing over his features. Aaron waits until the game has loaded to add under his breath, “I never said I didn’t want to be here.”

Matt lowers the controller to look at him. “You never spend much time here. I just figured…”

“No. It’s fine.” Aaron clears his throat. He sees Katelyn in his mind’s eye, raising an unimpressed eyebrow at him. He has to do better. “You’re fine.”

Matt snorts, and his attention slides back to the TV screen as the game begins.

“Anyone’s better than Nicky,” Aaron adds.

Matt snorts and kicks at his leg.

Maybe it isn’t too late to build that bridge after all.

*

Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed! I was not planning on writing an *actual* fic for this but there was too much unresolved tension between these two worth exploring.

Side note: I’ve read so much fanfic I no longer remember if the monsters gave up cracker dust in canon or if that was something I read in a fic. My canon now, fuckers.

[imagine-riverdale]

Sober-Sweet Pea Imagine

Katelyn “Kate” McBride was born and raised on the Southside of Riverdale in Sunnyside Trailer park. She grew up next to the Jones family and was good friends with Jughead until he ultimately ended up going to the Northside for school. Which is when she began hanging out with Toni Topaz, Fangs Fogarty, and Sweet Pea. The four of them later becoming Southside Serpents.

Katelyn McBride normally spent her Friday nights sat in the Whyte Wyrm with her friends, the four of them hanging out, but ever since Jughead Jones started going to Southside High, Toni began spending all her time with him. So that left Katelyn to spend time with Fangs and Sweet Pea alone, well until Sweet Pea started seeing a newer Serpent, Olivia Stanley. Olivia was pretty, and Katelyn liked her as a person, but as someone dating the boy she was in love with? She hated her. Since Sweet Pea and Olivia began dating, Katelyn and Fangs were spending more nights at the Wyrm alone, without Sweet Pea, or Toni. Toni was only ever there when she had a shift, which was mostly Saturdays, Tuesday, and Wednesday. While Katelyn work the bar shift Sunday, Monday, and Wednesday nights.

It had been a few days since Katelyn had last talked to Toni, or even Sweet Pea. She wasn’t surprised when she walked into the Wyrm and saw Toni behind the bar, but she was surprised to see Jughead sitting at the bar. Kate said nothing to Toni as she walked behind the bar and filled a glass of whiskey for Birdie who was sitting at the end.

“Not going to even say hi?” Toni asked after a few minutes. Katelyn looked at Toni.

“Oh, didn’t know we were speaking again?”

“We never stopped?” Toni asked glancing at Jughead.

“Hmm, really? Seems as if we did.” Katelyn shrugged, just as Sweet Pea came in with Olivia on his arm, the two heading straight to the pool table where he began teaching her how to play.

“When did that happen?” Nodding towards the pool table Toni looked at Katelyn questioningly.

“If you’d have been around you’d know.” Katelyn moved to the other end of the bar as Fangs sat down by Jughead.

“About a week ago.” He stated. “Same time you and Jones started hanging out.”

“How’s Kate with it?” She knew her friend had feelings for Sweet Pea, hell they all knew, except for Sweet Pea.

“Honestly? She’s putting up a front that she’s fine, which isn’t hard seeing as he’s blowing her off too.”

“What do you mean by too?” Toni asked setting a beer in front of Fangs as Jughead said goodbye and left.

“You both missed movie night, Friday night at the Wyrm, her birthday Saturday. She spent all day waiting for you or Sweet Pea to come over, she refused to go anywhere just in case you’d call. I spent Saturday night with her, when I left, I heard her crying.” Fangs glanced down the bar where Katelyn had plastered a fake smile while talking to Olivia before handing her two beers. “Sweet Pea didn’t show up Sunday like he has for the past year she’s been working here.”

“I got busy.” Toni stated looking down at her friend, she hadn’t realized she was missing so much.

“Yeah, we all get busy, but we don’t push our friends away.” Fangs stated. “And Sweet Pea.” Fangs glanced at his friend who was smiling at Olivia. “He hasn’t even tried calling us, have you talked to him?” Fangs turned to Toni who shook her head. “You’re both pushing her, us, away.” Fangs got off the stool and went down to Katelyn’s side of the bar, causing a genuine smile to come to her face. Toni felt terrible for missing all those things with her friends, but she had been so caught up in helping Jughead that she hadn’t even realized what she was doing, and she had a feeling Sweet Pea hadn’t realized it either. So, when Sweet Pea came to get another beer Toni talked to him.

“So, you and Olivia, huh?” She asked as Sweet Pea nodded.

“Yeah. You and Jones?”

“No, no, just friends.” She stated. “Fangs talked to me earlier.”

“Okay? Fangs talks to everyone.” Sweet Pea joked grabbing his beer and turning.

“We missed movie night, and Kate’s birthday.” Toni said causing Sweet Pea to stop and look at her.

“No Kate’s birthday isn’t until the third.” He stated.

“It’s the seventh SP.” Toni stated. “We both missed movie night, and Friday night at the Wyrm, you didn’t show up Sunday either.” Sweet Pea moved back towards the bar. “The only way we can make it up to her is by showing up to movie night tomorrow.” Sweet Pea sighed.

“I’ll try but Olivia and I have plans.” Sweet Pea walked away from the bar, thinking about all the things he missed.

-

After school Thursday, Fangs and Kate went and bought all the things they wanted and needed for movie night, neither of them expecting to find Toni waiting on Kate’s doorstep upon arriving there.

“What are you doing here?” Kate asked hopping off her bike and moving up towards the trailer.

“Came to apologize for being a crappy friend.” Toni held up a bag of twizzlers and a bag of salt and vinegar chips, Fangs and Kate’s favorite.

“I guess you’re forgiven.” The three entered the trailer, Katelyn’s mom had left for work as she did every Thursday. The three sat in the living room having their moving night, Toni waiting for Sweet Pea’s arrival, which never came. The three all ended up falling asleep around the living room.

-

Katelyn didn’t seek out Sweet Pea, nor did he attempt to talk to her, so Katelyn assumed that meant their friendship was over, and she was dealing with it in her own way. It wasn’t until almost a month later did she actually talk to Sweet Pea again, it was after the merge of the two schools. It was a Tuesday and she had decided to visit Toni at the Wyrm. The two sat chatting for awhile before Sweet Pea came in and took a seat next to Katelyn.

“You want a beer Pea?” Toni asked as Sweet Pea nodded. Toni handed him his beer while Katelyn stayed silent. “Where’s Olivia?”

“No clue, broke up with her, she’s fucking nuts.” He stated taking a drink of his beer and glancing at Katelyn waiting for a comment. “Don’t have anything to say?”

“I have nothing to say to you.” Katelyn looked at Sweet Pea who’s face fell.

“Don’t be like that.”

“I’m too sober for this.” Toni produced another beer for Katelyn. “Thanks T.”

“So, you’re not talking to me now?” He asked following Katelyn as she left her stool and went over to a booth, waiting for Fangs to show up.

“As I recall, you stopped talking to me first.” She stated as Sweet Pea sat down across from her.

“I didn’t mean to.” He stated.

“But you did, even after Toni talked to you about it. Yeah, I know Toni told you, yeah I know Fangs talked to you.”

“I’m sorry Kate, really. Can’t we just go back to how things were?” He asked as Katelyn scoffed before taking a drink of her beer.

“Go back to how things were? Do you realize how much you missed?” She asked. “Countless movie night, Friday nights here, Sunday afternoons here, my birthday, the camping trip we planned for months, which I ended up going on alone with Fangs.” Katelyn stopped talking and took a breath. “You stopped talking to me for over a month Sweet Pea.” She said looking at her hands. “I spent a month trying to figure out what I did to make you hate me, to make you not want to even speak to me when you were still talking to Toni and Fangs. We were supposed to go to that drive in over in Greendale for my birthday, Fangs had the tickets, but I refused to leave without you and Toni, we tried calling, but you guys didn’t answer. We didn’t end up going, instead we stayed home, Fangs left, and I cried myself to sleep thinking my best friends hated me.” Katelyn felt the tears welling in her eyes, so she stopped talking and took a drink of her beer before continuing. “So no, we can’t go back to how things were. You can’t ignore someone, make them feel worthless and expect them to pretend it didn’t happen.” Katelyn finished off her beer, stood up and headed towards the door when Fangs entered.

“Hey, you leaving?” He asked stopping her. Katelyn glanced back at Sweet Pea before looking back at Fangs.

“Yeah. I’m not in the mood to party tonight, sorry Fangs.” Katelyn left quickly and made her way back to her home where her mom, Joanne was sitting on the couch. Katelyn’s mother muted the TV once she noticed the look on Katelyn’s face.

“You okay?”

“How do you stop being in love with someone?” She asked softly.

“Oh baby.” Joanne put her arm over Katelyn’s shoulder and pulled her into. “I don’t have that answer for you.” She told her. “But I can tell you, you’re not always going to feel this way. I don’t know what happened, but you need to talk to Sweet Pea.”

“I said nothing about Sweet Pea.” Katelyn sat up quickly, pulling away from her mother.

“Honey, I gave birth to you. I’ve watched you grow up. I’ve seen the way you’ve look at him, the way you’ve been looking at him since you were ten. You’re in love with him.” Her mother said softly. “It’ll work out, give it time.” Katelyn nodded before the tears started streaming down his face.

“He stopped talking to me for a month mom, what did I do? What did I do wrong to make him hate me?” Katelyn fell into her mothers’ arms and cried for hours before falling asleep on the couch.

-

When Katelyn met up with Toni in town the next day, Toni immediately saw the tear stained puffy cheeks of Katelyn’s.

“You good?” Toni asked as the two walked towards the old vintage clothing store.

“I’ve been better.” Katelyn said softly. “Can I admit something to you?” She asked pausing on the sidewalk, glancing around at everyone out shopping.

“Always.”

“I’m in love with Sweet Pea. I know you and Fangs figured it out, but I needed to say it out loud because maybe it’ll help me not love him.” Katelyn ran a hand through her hair as she leaned against the side of a building. “He doesn’t love me, does he? Forget it, don’t answer that.” Katelyn walked into the clothing store and beginning to pull things from the racks.

“Kate.” Toni touched her arm, stopping her from pulling more things off the racks.

“What?”

“He loves you.” Toni stated. “He’s loved you since the third grade. He should be at his place, go talk to him.” Katelyn stood there a minute before hugging Toni and running out of the store and to her car, driving quickly to Sweet Pea’s trailer where she seen his and Fangs’ bikes.

“Go home Fangs.” Sweet Pea said once Katelyn entered, she immediately walked over to him.

“So, I hear you love me.” She stated, at those words Fangs stood up and walked out.

“Yep.” Sweet Pea nodded standing in front of Kate. “Heard you love me too.” Sweet Pea stated with a grin.

I’m sorry the ending is crap, I’ve run out of inspiration. I’ve started University, so it’s been a rough week. Thanks for reading!

REQUESTS ARE OPEN FOR RIVERDALE CHARACTERS.

[side-effect-of-the-meds]

Erin and Ania are like holy fuck I can’t even. But for real Neil sees Abby as a mother figure in the book so like is it the same for Ania? Andrew too? Idek I just need to know their relationships with everyone

It’s time I map out their relationships anyways lol so thanks, love!

Let’s start with the lovely Ania 

Dan, Allison, and Ania are roommates. It’s tough after Seth’s death bc Ania has to face her all the time. Erin tells Allison her theory too so Allison is avoiding Ania so :////

Dan is essentially what Matt was to Neil. She sees Ania and her first thought is ‘baby’. She adopts her so fast. Every morning before class, she’ll pinch Ania’s cheeks and kiss her fingers, chef-style Idk man. It’s just something my mom does to me ok. Let me be soft. 

Renee rooms with Erin so Ania isn’t comfortable with her. Anyone that can spend the night in a room with that girl has to be hardcore. 

Allison also gives Ania a lot of shit about her wardrobe. At some point it starts to get to her so when the monsters head to the mall, Erin catches Ania drifting towards the girl’s section on her own. She’s high so she follows her around, prodding her about it. When Ania tells her, there’s this moment where Erin’s drug haze parts for a second. Ania could have sworn that she saw anger flashing in Erin’s eyes for half a second. She shrugs it off until Allison shows up at the dorms with a bruise on her jaw. Erin knows Ania hides her body bc scars and bc she doesn’t like men staring at her. She refuses to let Allison shame Ania into doing something she doesn’t want to. In general, Allison and Ania have a rocky relationship because Erin keeps interfering. After Christmas, the two of them end up getting along a lot better bc they bond while Allison covers Ania’s bruises with makeup. Also after Christmas, Ania and Renee trade dorms so she and Allison aren’t in constant contact. Part of their friction was due to the amount of time they spent together. A lot of things have happened to Allison this year and the fact that she constantly has to see the source of a lot of her problems makes it hard for her to heal.  

I’ve considered Fem!Nicky but I personally prefer Gay/Lesbian solidarity between him and Erin a lot better so yeah (However if you want me to run a few Fem!Nicky hcs, hmu and I’ll do it. She won’t be a part of the fem!verse but it would be fun). He’s exactly the way he is in canon. However, he is constantly trying to set Ania and Erin up and Erin? Doesn’t? Stop? Him? She’s so desperately in love with Ania that if Nicky wingmanning for her is what it takes to win her over, then she’ll take it. She also has a really dirty sense of humor. The jokes he makes fuel her late-night fantasies. 

Aaron is disgusted with Nicky and, more importantly, himself. Ania is incredibly beautiful and he’s incredibly straight. He doesn’t like her bc he’s so gone for Katelyn. That doesn’t make Ania any less pretty. He finds himself staring at her all the time but so does every other fox so he doesn’t feel bad. 

Katelyn thinks Ania is hot. She’s bi but leans heavily towards guys. It takes Aaron a long time to unlearn his homophobia but he manages it because Katelyn is bi and he couldn’t possibly hate anything about her. Once Riko is gone and Ania is safe, she starts to develop feelings. I mean, she always had feelings but now she doesn’t try to suppress them. She lets herself want to be friends with people. Katelyn happens to be at the top of her list. While the twins are with Bee at their sessions, Katelyn and Ania hang out. Sessions are only an hour/hour and a half long so the girls just grab a soda together or go window shopping in Reddin. I hc Katelyn as a genuinely sweet VSCO girl. Let me have this! Ania has a grunge/goth aesthetic because Erin buys her clothes for her but she thinks Katelyn’s clothes are cute too. Erin wants to hate the thousands of scrunchies and anklets she finds strewn across the dorm but they make Ania so happy. Once on a double date, on Bee’s insistence, Katelyn catches sight of a bubblegum pink scrunchie in Erin’s hair. It’s a stark contrast to her all-black outfit but it’s really cute. When Aaron goes to grab their drinks from the barista, Katelyn tells her so making sure to stay well out of Erin’s reach. Erin just grunts and turns to look out the window. The twins don’t blush with their whole face. Instead, their ears turn red. With Erin’s hair pulled up and out of the way, Katelyn has no trouble seeing her burning red ears. It’s progress! 

Ania spends a lot more time out at Evermore as a kid than Neil did. As a result, she was really close to Kevin and Riko. She only knew Jean for like a month before she dipped. I got a request for Fem!Jean so you’ll see Ania’s relationship with Jeanie soon. Kevin sees her as a baby sister. He and Kayleigh were actually at the hospital when Ania was born. There’s a baby photo back at Kayleigh’s old house of 3yr old Kevin carrying a newborn Ania. He’s crying rivers in it. There’s an actual video of it as well. In it, Kay asks him why he’s crying. “She’s sho shmall!” little Kevin sobs. “Can I keep her? Pleashe, mom. I’ll be nice to her and take care of her and I’ll tell her I love her all the time.” You can hear someone laughing in the background. The camera pans across the room to reveal Wymack sitting in a chair by the door, cackling

TANGENT BUT I WANT TO TALK ABOUT WYMACK FOR A MINUTE! So Wymack and Kay are friends with some obvious benefits. He flips his shit when Kevin is born because what if that’s his kid??? Kay is just like, I was with a lot of guys and brushes it off. She’s lying through her teeth. Wymack is the only man she’s ever loved. Tetsuji is salty and I will go into this in another post but I think that Tetsuji really hated Kevin because he was Kay’s son but not his. I absolutely believe that Tetsuji was in love with Kayleigh Day and was pissed when she had a kid. Anyway, Wymack flies out to Ireland a lot to check up on Kay and Kevin because Kay is crazy. How could the inventor of exy not be? It’s literally murder lacrosse. He goes out to make sure Kay isn’t overworking herself and bc Kev has no father figure. Kev grows up knowing Wymack and absolutely adores him. When Kay dies, Wymack wants custody of Kevin. Kay knows who the Moriyamas are and recently she and Tetsuji have been fighting a lot. She’s scared that something is going to happen to her so she writes her will and emphasizes that she wants her son sent to Wymack if she dies. Her fight with Tetsuji comes to a head and the car ‘accident’ happens. It’s not an accident. Tetsuji ordered her killed in a fit of rage. He’s devastated when it actually happens. He loved her and now she’s dead. Well, who’s fault is that, ya dumb bish? He flies out for the funeral and so does Wymack. Tetsu finds the will first and is anger. He has it burned and has Nathan forge a new one where he gets custody of Kev. It breaks Wymack’s heart bc now he thinks Kay didn’t want him around Kev. Kevin is five and he’s crying because his mom is dead and now he can’t live with Wymack. He calls Wymack Dad and Wymack can’t do anything about this. Instead, he just hugs little Kev close and tells him it’ll be okay. Wymack tells Kev that Tetsu has a niece his age. Maybe Kev and Riko can be friends. Maybe they’ll even get married. Kevin says that’s disgusting and Wymack laughs a hollow laugh. Anyway, that’s how Kev gets shipped to Evermore. Tetsu doesn’t allow Wymack near Kev bc he knows the truth. The reason why Wymack always has a sports channel on because he used to keep it on in case Kev ever showed up. He watched every one of Kev’s games and interviews and everything. Wymack doesn’t get to be there to watch Kev grown up so he just watched from a distance. I'm not crying you are. 

Wymack is a father figure to Ania and Erin. He’s there when Ania is born bc he went to visit Kay and Kev who were in Baltimore to meet baby Nathania. Kay carts him out to the hospital to meet her too. Nathan Wesninski was not in the room when his daughter was born. He doesn’t even meet her until she’s six months old. Wymack is the first man Nathania meets and she doesn’t even know. Mary didn’t want to hand Nathania over to Wymack but she and Kay are friends and she knows that he’s her baby daddy. Wymack doesn’t recognize Ania because he only knew her for a month when she was a newborn. Of course he doesn’t recognize her. However, he thinks about her a lot. She’s actually the first baby he’s ever held. He didn’t get to hold Kevin until he was two. Wymack treats Ania the same way he treats Neil but he puts in a bit of extra care bc he knows about Millport incident. 

Abby is definitely as much of a mom figure as she was to Neil. However, after she shows her her scars, Ania gets a lot closer to her. She refuses to tell her things but when Erin gets sent to Easthaven, Ania has a hard time staying at the dorms. She spends all her time at the court bc she has to. She hides in the library bc it’s the one place she wouldn’t see Erin anyways. She crashes at Abby’s a few times because there are times she can’t stand the thought of going back to the dorms without feeling the brush of Erin’s hand on the back of her neck. 

Oh. That’s a thing. Every night after midnight practice n Kev has gone to his room, Ania says goodnight to Erin. Erin will trail her hand across the back of Ania’s neck as she passes in response. It makes Ania shiver because her neck is as much of an erogenous zone as Erin’s is. Erin always watches it out of the corner of her eye bc God it’s the most amazing thing she’s ever seen. It makes her feel. Ania doesn’t really realize???? She’s so dumb. She knows it makes her feel good but she just can’t for the life of her figure out why. 

It’s time I addressed the real psycho lesbian… While Erin’s is a facade, Riko is genuinely psychotic. She’s seven types of crazy. Actually, it skews a little more yandere but I will go into depth about it in the Fem!Jean fic. Rn, I’ll try to keep it short. Riko has her first crush when she’s eight? Nine? She kisses her crush on the cheek when she’s ten and Tetsuji… doesn’t take it well to say the least. The bit about it’s easier to remain straight? It’s the thing Kevin hears Riko say to herself every morning in front of the mirror. Regardless, Riko never gets over that first crush. Riko will never not miss Nathania Wesninski. When she finds out who Ania really is? She loses it. It’s fate, she tells herself. She will have Ania or die trying. Christmas at Evermore is a thing so I mean, I guess she does have Ania :( But she wants Ania to love her. She tells Ania as much and Ania spits in her face. :)

Most of Erin’s relationships are the same except for the Matt and Renee thing I covered earlier. The only other one that changes is Kevin. I know I say this a lot, but she really thought Ania and Kev would be a thing. She says no to Kevin for everything bc she’s petty.  Kevin has always gotten everything that he wanted handed to him on a silver plate. Now he’s taking the one thing she really wants.  If he gets Ania, he can’t have anything else. Again, I’ll cover her relationship with Jean later. 

Thanks again your ask <3

Edit: I'm really tired and have a quiz tomorrow but I forgot to talk about Cleo. I'll make a separate post about her so stay tuned for that!!!

[vgckwb]

ML: Are They Worthy? Chapter 70: Plan of Attack!

“Alright, Let’s GO!” Judgement Wolf said, about to jump.

Ladybug stopped him. “Wait! We need a plan.”

“Ladybug’s right” Cat Noir said. “Scarlet Moth is erratic and out of control. He’s willing to akumatize anyone to defeat us. He’s not going down quietly, that’s for sure.”

“So what do you suppose we do then?” Honey Bee said.

They all thought. “Well, we saw his helicopter” Carapace said. “It didn’t look like he was carrying his wife with him.”

“He wasn't,” Ladybug said.

“Perhaps we can use that to our advantage” Rena Rouge said.

“But why wouldn’t he though?” Oxenfree said. “If that’s his goal, and we’re all on to him, why keep her here?”

“Didn’t Ladybug say that Hawk Moth was keeping her alive?” Scouries asked

“Good point” Viperion stated. “He wants her alive. He wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize her health.”

“We should investigate,” Ryuko said.

“Great idea” said Pegasus. “Show us the way!” Cat Noir, Judgement Wolf, and Ladybug lead the way to the secret bunker. Pegasus went directly to the case and looked for a computer.

Meanwhile, Sabine, Tom, Ondine, Katelyn, Manon, and Markov made their way to Master Fu’s. Sabine knocked on the door. Master Fu answered. “Uh, hi. I’m, um, Marinette’s mother?” she said. “She wanted me to give this to you.” She handed him the letter.

Master Fu looked it over. “Dear Master Fu, I’m sorry, but these people know who I am, as well as all the other heroes of Paris. I had to. Hawk Moth is doing some big drastic thing tonight, after failing to pass on his mantel. He had wanted to give it to me, but after Judgement Wolf and Cat Noir confronted him, everything spiraled out of control. Please. Give these people shelter from the imminent attack. I’ll do whatever it takes to make it up to you later. -Marinette/Ladybug”

Master Fu smiled. “She forgot to add ‘Newest Guardian of the Miraculous’” he said. “Come in.” The six came in, both confused and relieved.

The three other people who were already here looked at the newcomers confused. “Wait, why are the bakers here with some children?” Corina asked.

“Aren’t you Marinette’s parents?” Hao-yu asked. Tom and Sabine were confused. “Sorry” Hao-yu replied to the confusion. “I bought croissants from you guys when I first came in. Then I had Master Fu or Corina get them”

“That's Ladybug’s parents?” Corina asked.

“Yeah,” Hao-yu said. “After that time, I ended up akumatized. Later, once I was brought into the fold, it was explained that you guys were Ladybug’s parents. Since I had gotten akumatized, I didn’t want to go out on the chance that Hawk Moth would track me.”

“Oh” said Sabine. “Well, thank you.”

“I wish we’d have brought some,” Tom said.

“No need” Hao-yu said. “I don’t assume this is a planned visit.”

Sabine shook her head. “Ladybug knows who Hawk Moth is. Hawk Moth knows they’re after him” Master Fu explained.

“I getcha” Hao-yu said.

“We’ll do whatever we can to help,” Marinanne said.

“Right now, we need to keep them safe” Master Fu said.

“A protective barrier then! Got it!” Corina said. She grabbed a necklace from her bag began chanting with her hands around it. Within a few seconds, a magic light came from the necklace. “There. This building is protected from akuma and detection from Hawk Moth. It also works to focus more energy here.”

Hao-yu looked at her and said “You’re amazing.”

“That’s a good start” Master Fu said. “But if Hawk Moth really is going to go all out, we need to be prepared for more.”

“Got it!” said Pegasus, pulling up a computer. “Let’s see here.” He pulled up some data. “Oh.”

“What is it?” King Monkey asked.

The information Pegasus found was hard on him, and he looked it. “Well, Hawk Moth is certainly diligent. And resourceful. He monitored her health, as well as  keeping her alive. According to this data, in this current state, she’ll last a few more years. BUT if taken out, or if power was lowered, she’d only last an hour.” Everyone was horrified with the news.

“Well, we can’t just keep her like this!” BleatStar shouted.

“But what can we do?” Hog Wild asked.

“Someone could take her to the Master” Carapace reasoned.

“But Scarlet Moth is still getting away as we speak!” Rena Rouge said.

“Actually…” Chienne Reaction said. “I have an idea that could help.”

“What is it?” Tigress asked.

“It’s a bit risky, but I’m sure I’ll pay off” Chienne Reaction said. “When I first got my miraculous, I was told that using it on myself it would hurt me… but I think that’s needed to take on Scarlet Moth’s army.”

“WHAT?! NO! I REFUSE!” Honey Bee said.

“Well, the effects are only temporary” Ladybug said. “If she can power us up, and we can get her to Master Fu as well, there could be no real damage.” “So, the idea is to get them both to this Fu person” Bunnyx said. “Perhaps we should talk to them.”

“Right” Ladybug said. She took out her yo-yo and gave Master Fu a call.

Master Fu answered. “Marinette?”

“Uh, hi” Ladybug said. “Listen, we have a few problems.”

Master Fu listened to what the Miraculous team had. “I see. Well it’s a good idea. Now that you’ve told me, I say go for it. I’ll inform the others right away.”

“Great! Thanks” Ladybug said, hanging up. “He says we should do it.”

“But how are we going to get them there?” King Monkey asked.

“Ahem” Pegasus said. “If I’m going to be fully powered up, I can use my power to take them there, and then join the fight.”

Ladybug smiled. “Alright! Sounds like we have a plan. Chienne Reaction? Are you ready?”

Chienne Reaction looked confident, but then looked at Honey. Honey Bee sighed and said “Fine. Just do it already!”

Chienne reaction smiled. “Thanks Chloe. I mean Honey Bee.” Honey Bee smiled. Chienne Reaction gathered energy in her nunchucks and then unleashed her power on herself. “Kiss of Luck!” She felt herself power up. “Alright, here goes.” She started powering up heroes. Honey Bee, Tigress, Hog Wild, Oxenfree, Scouries, Pegasus, King Monkey, Ryuko, Viperion, Carapace, Rena Rouge, Bunnyx, BleatStar, Rooster Gold, and Cat Noir. Before she could hit Ladybug though, she passed out and reverted back to Sabrina.

“Sabrina!” Chloe screamed.

“Relax” Pegasus said. “She’ll be safe soon enough. Now, can I have to coordinates to this Master Fu?” Pegasus asked.

Ladybug was stunned, so it took her a second. “Huh. Oh, yeah, sure.” She gave them to him.

“Great,” he said. He opened a portal. He saw everyone there, including the people he knew. He was relieved that they had gotten there safely.

Honey Bee picked up Sabrina and walked her over to the portal. Master Fu looked at Tom and said “Tom?”

Tom nodded and took her. “Master Fu gave us the instructions to help her. He told us where the cure is and how to apply it. She’s in good hands.”

Honey bee smiled as her girlfriend left her arms. “Thank you,” she said.

“Now, once we get Adrien’s mom out, we only have an hour before...well...you know…” Pegasus said. “Are you ready?” Master Fu nodded. Pegasus sighed. Cat Noir? Are you ready?

Cat Noir looked at them. They were his mother’s last chance. He was nervous. Who wouldn’t be? But he had full confidence in them. He nodded.

“Alright!” Pegasus said. “King Monkey! Oxenfree! Get ready!” The two nodded. King Money freed Emilie and Oxenfree grabbed her and handed her through the portal.

“We will fix her, Cat Noir! Do not worry!” Master Fu said.

Cat Nir smiled and nodded. “Right” he said. The portal disappeared.

“So, now Scarlet Moth doesn’t have anything to worry about” Bleatstar said.

“Yah, but he doesn’t know that” Rooster Gold said. “We need to get that information to him. And unfortunately, he’s putting an army in our way!”

“Right” said BleatStar.

Cat Noir turned to Ladybug. “Ladybug. Are you OK?”

She looked at Cat Noir. “Yeah. I’m fine. I just didn’t get powered up at all” she said.

“I didn’t get powered up either” Judgement Wolf said.

“Yeah, but you don’t use your power that much in combat anyway” Ladybug said.

“Listen” Cat Noir said. “It’s going to be OK. You’re not going to use your power much either.”

Ladybug was shocked. “But-”

“Your goal is to get to Scarlet Moth” Cat Noir said. “That is your only job. Everyone else will take on his army for you.”

“But what about purifying them?” Ladybug asked.

“I don’t think that’s going to do much” Cat Noir said. “We can handle it. You need to tell him what we’re doing. I know you can do it.” He put his hands on her shoulders.

Ladybug blushed. “Thanks Cat Noir. The two kissed briefly. Once they were done, Ladybug said “Alright! Let’s go team!” The team cheered.

Meanwhile, Receiver Deceiver was going around town, making people angry with backstabbing messages, thus growing Scarlet Moth’s army. “Soon, they will bow before you” she said.

“Excellent!” Scarlet Moth said.

The heroes took to the roof of the Agreste Manor. They saw the helicopter on the horizon. Ladybug smiled. “That’s my goal! Let’s go!” The heroes nodded and jumped forth into the night.

Meanwhile, Master Fu had placed Emilie on his mat. On all sides of her we Master Fu, Marianne, Hao-yu, and Corina. Master Fu pulled out the peacock miraculous. “Duusu. Are you ready?”

“Yes Master” Duusu said.

“Then let’s begin” Master Fu said. He placed the miraculous in Emilie’s hands and then sat back down. The four of them began meditating and gathering energy into the now fixed miraculous. It was taking its toll on them, but they had to work a miracle. Emilie’s clock was ticking, and they needed to get this just right.

Meanwhile, Tom brought Sabrina into the other room and laid her down. Sabine got out the tonic Master Fu had told them about. She took it to Sabrina. “Open wide” she said. Tom adjusted her mouth and Sabine poured it in. “There. Now we have to wait a few minutes.” The couple sat there and watched her. They heard the four trained people straining themselves to cure someone who was practically cursed. They hugged each other, wanting to help more, but knowing that all they could do was hope.

[aftgficlibrary]

best fics of 2018?

This is so subjective so some of our staff are gonna put our 2018 favs here below!!

Cassy

This is my favorite fic ever and the author just started updating it again so im in tears all the time 

i’m here right now (just be here right now with me) by Talls (M | 27,606 | 3/7)

Neil first meets Andrew with a racquet to the stomach in a locker room when he’s eighteen. Andrew first meets Neil with a hushed conversation on a beach in California when he’s five. They still manage to meet on rooftops, fall in love, find family, and heal together, just not quite at the same time and definitely not in the same order.

(In other words, Andrew is the Time Traveler’s wife.)

This fic is so soft and pretty

Translation Errors by SensationalSunburst (Not rated | 3,127 | 1/1)

“Andrew doesn’t love me,” Neil said simply, “So if he has a love language, I don’t know it.”“Oh, honey.” Allison drawled, “You don’t actually believe him when he says he hates you, do you?”

Lucky by sunrise_and_death (T | 4,328 | 1/1)

At thirteen, he’d lived in eleven different cities, gone by as many different names, and seen his reaper twenty-eight times. Some people would have called him lucky.

Live Once More (This Time Will Be Better) bypurpleeyesandbowties (T | 2,457 | 1/1)

Very carefully so as to not wake his roommates presumably sleeping off a night of regrettable choices, Andrew pulled a notebook towards him and opened to a fresh page to make a list. Two lists, actually. Changes to make and things to keep the same. Thankfully, it didn’t take long to sort out what was important.

To change:get off pillsno Kathy no Seth dying (Neil was upset)no Thanksgivingno winter at Evermoreno Baltimorekill Riko soonerkill Nathan myself

Keep the same:get Neil to the Foxes

Maz:

changing tides - titanic au by missbolton (M | Incomplete | 4/5)

When Nathaniel Hartford boards the RMS Titanic, it is a death sentence. He will be shipped to New York with his brutal father and his soon-to-be wife, Lola. There’s no escape.

Until he meets third-class artist Andrew Minyard.

if you’re lost you can look (and you will find me) by paleromantic (T | Incomplete | 5/?)

Neil Josten jerked awake, his cigarette falling from his fingers as he did. The frigid air bit at his arms, his neck, his face, but he didn’t notice, too busy looking around.

“What the fuck.”

or

Neil and Andrew wake up back in Millport, and get the chance to start over.

I’m Just Killing Time by thesaroscycle (T | 10,666 | 1/1)

He was sat in the most comfortable armchair in the back, the book in his lap closed but well-worn and dog-eared, one of the things that annoyed Bee to no end. His glasses sat on the table next to him, along with the hot chocolate Bee had made earlier in the morning that had gone cold. He stared out the window into a cloudless blue sky, squinting at the late morning sun and blurry trees. It was getting warm enough outside for the frost to melt on the grass, and late enough for people to start coming in. He couldn’t wish more for fall, when the sky would be gray and the chill would last all day rather than just early morning. Everything seemed to be holding its breath for the coming summer, for longer days and warmer mornings. Andrew couldn’t be less excited for summer; of all their town’s 70-degree-high summers, it was still hot enough for Andrew to melt in his stubbornly consistent black wardrobe.

Paper Skies by exybee (T | 4,662 | 1/1)

Andrew’s a quiet librarian who treats his library much like how he treats his person. He spends his time searching for the color blue in hopes of finding something real, but when he meets Neil Josten, he finds that maybe blue isn’t the only thing out there.

Or, Neil’s a kaleidoscope of colors, and Andrew gets a lesson in self-care.

Atlas:

Honey, we should run away by allyasavedtheday ( T | 8,836 | 1/1)

“We’re moving on soon,” his mom says casually as she’s plating up their food. As if it’s an inconsequential detail and not something that rocks Neil to his core.

“Why?” he asks, keeping his voice calm and measured like she taught him to do if he was ever taken.

“We’ve been here too long,” she says like it’s obvious, setting down a plate of pasta in front of him.

“It’s only been ten weeks,” he can’t help pointing out. Ten weeks with Andrew. Ten weeks that aren’t enough.

“That’s over two months,” she retorts, neatly spearing a piece of pasta with her fork. “Two more weeks and we’re leaving. Just as soon as I have everything organised.”

*

Andrew and Neil meet when Neil is on the run with his mother.

Show Me How You by smokesprite ( Not Rated | 6,825 | 1/1 )

“They thought they would stop the show; they thought they could cut the act, but Neil had been sulking around too long now to not know where all the necessary equipment was. He was a ghost, and he would do the ghost dance, goddammit.”

Neil is a ghost with a house to haunt, but the Moxie Foxy Burlesque Troupe refuses to be chased off. If you can’t beat em…join em.

Aaron:

stay as long as you need by lolainslackss (T | 2,955 | 1/1)

The soulmate timer counts down to your soulmate’s death. Apparently, Andrew’s soulmate doesn’t have long to live.

Oh, Catastrophe by TheKingIsDead (witch_lit) (T | 1,447 | 1/1)

Aaron and Katelyn are at a concert and Aaron can’t shake the feeling that the drummer is familiar.

it’s a long way down byionlyloveyouironically (T | 6,506 | 1/1)

The sound of rushing water, the moon overhead, bare feet on a muddy riverbank, and a weeping woman reaching a dead hand out. 

Scout

A Mewment Like This by fuzzballsheltiepants (T | Incomplete | 9 Works)

tenuous by undertow (cendal) (M | 7,431 | 1/1)

Neil Josten is trying to learn to be a normal person. He has an apartment and a cat. He goes to therapy every Wednesday. He has friends and attends their study group regularly. He eats lunch with his best friend’s brother.The hardest part is letting people in, but he thinks that one day he’ll get there.Series: Part 1 of all of me wants all of you

The Continuing Adventures of the Nine-Nine by gluupor (G | Complete | 10 Works)

A series of short, ridiculous, mostly plotless stories featuring the Foxes as the cops of the Ninety-Ninth Precinct.

Back to the Start by fuzzballsheltiepants (T | 29,277 | 11/11)

Andrew has been on his pro team for 6 months when he takes a ball to the head. Neil flies to Boston to see him - only to find that Andrew doesn’t remember him.

Rachel

Funky Happenings with the Fox Family by dobbypussypopper (Not Rated | Incomplete | 17/?)

naughtygayweedcrime: did I rlly just see neil say woke

naughtygayweedcrime: what a surreal timeline we live in

dumbfool: allison is trying to teach me how to meme so I can get hip

naughtygayweedcrime: bless your poor soul

davidwymack: sometimes I regret living

davidwymack has muted exyllent, damnwilds, + 7 others for 30 minutes

The Real Folk Blues by moonix, nefelibata (E | 42,365 | 4/4)

Captain David Wymack and the bounty hunter crew of the Bebop spaceship might be a little out of their depths chasing down the infamous hacker and notorious runaway Neil Wesninski, whose bounty exceeds even Kevin’s wildest dreams. Worst of all, Andrew might actually enjoy it.

/Graphic Depictions of Violence

a world alone by ephemeralsky (T | 54,850 | 6/6)

“It will not be cheap,” Andrew finally says.

“I know,” Wymack says. “Two bottles of Johnnie Walker sound good to you?”

“Four,” Andrew says without missing a beat. He thinks about having to deal with Nicky later on, about the additional work he has to do, and decides that he will not do anything for less.

“Three,” Wymack argues.

“Four or we have no deal.”

Wymack mutters something about blood-sucking hooligans under his breath before he concedes with a, “Fine.”

(or: a High School AU where only some of them are high-schoolers)

[jemej3m]

to the moon and back (p1)

a softer high school au because i love high school aus fuck off i know ive written like ten 

also, boys like you (by Who Is Fancy) is a gay vibe and is absolutely the vibe of this fic

part one | part two | part three

Andrew swung his legs from where he was sitting on the picnic table, glaring at Renee sitting beneath him. She grinned with crossed legs, pushing at his feet so they would swing.

Andrew, spiteful as ever, didn’t move unless he had to. Moving was motion and motion caught people’s attention and if Andrew gave him the chance, Kevin would continue to plead with him on refusing to join the exy team.

His brother was on it. His best friends were on it. They played a tonne of cute guys from other schools. That was Kevin’s pathetic attempt at appealing to Andrew, to which Andrew had taken his shiny, new pocket knife and stabbed it into the school cafeteria’s table by Kevin’s clenched fist.

It was only the four at this table - Renee, Kevin, Aaron and himself - who knew about Andrew being gay, and Betsy -- of course.

He’d backed off after that, but Kevin’s cool-down period for pissing Andrew off was irritatingly short. He sat, barely a metre away, looking on at Andrew and Renee silently. Aaron was texting, probably that simpering junior Katelyn. Andrew didn’t like it, but what was he supposed to do about it?

You’re just jealous you don’t have a girlfriend. Aaron had teased him the other week, when Andrew grumbled about his twin’s obsession with the girl. Andrew then sneered about probably being able to fool Katelyn into thinking he was Aaron, and then Betsy had to quell their little cat fight.

They never fought about anything seriously. They’d been thrown into the foster system together at birth, and adopted by Betsy a week after their 10th birthdays. They had fought to survive together: Logically, Andrew knew Katelyn wouldn’t put a divide between something like that. But Aaron was the logical one, and sometimes Andrew couldn’t help but let his anxiety win.

Renee tugged on his sneakers to catch his attention. “How was tutoring yesterday?”

He rolled his eyes with heightened exaggeration. “I got stuck with some kid who’s absolutely abysmal with Literature and History. He can’t drop them, because he’s at the bare minimum, so he’s practically going to be riding me so he can pass all his exams. Typical jock.”

Andrew didn’t add that Neil Josten was hopelessly attractive.

“Well, who is it?” Kevin demanded, in his usual Kevin fashion. He really had no idea how to do anything lightly.

“Neil Josten. Year below us.”

The green-eyed boy looked relieved. “Oh, thank god. Coach was going to kick him off the team if he didn’t focus more on school.”

Wait. What?

“He’s on the fucking exy team.” Andrew muttered under his breath. He couldn’t believe his luck.

“Since when were you on the fucking exy team?” Andrew dropped his things onto the table, not caring about the glowers that other students of the library sent his way for being obnoxiously disruptive.

Andrew is often obnoxiously disruptive in class, but performs extremely well in examinations. He must do a lot of studying at home to achieve that result: He might find that he would have plenty of leisure time if he just listened in class, rather than talking to other students or sleeping.

His report comments were always interesting, as were Betsy’s reactions.

Neil flinched at the noise, which was new. Then he shrugged, avoiding Andrew’s gaze. “Since I started.”

“Right.” Andrew drawled. “And you didn’t think to mention it to me, considering we’re trying to improve your grades to keep you on said team?”

“Sorry.” Neil muttered.

He paused. The boy was awfully withdrawn for an unknown reason: Neil Josten was all spitfire and burning scorn, with bouncing red curls, ice-like blue eyes and freckled cheeks, marred by horrific scarring. He told people it was surgery and acne. That was bullshit: It had to be. “I didn’t want an apology. I want a reason why.”

He shrugged again. “You hate Kevin Day. I didn’t think it would be a good idea to mention him.”

Andrew snorted. “Kevin’s been one of my closest friends since middle school. But I do hate him. He sucks all the way to the moon and back. He wont shut the fuck up about exy because we used to play together.”

“You did?” Neil shot up, the spark somewhat returning to his eye. “You play exy?”

“No.” Andrew told the one-track minded jock. “Get your work out. I’m giving up my time for a reason.”

Neil rolled his eyes. “You volunteered for it.”

No, he didn’t. He was avoiding detention. He told Neil so, but the boy still smirked.

“You still chose to tutor me that sit in a room on your own, which I thought was more your style.”

“Fuck off.” Andrew said decidedly and poked him in the cheek with a pen. Neil scrubbed it off quickly, looking worriedly at the ink coming off on his fingers. Andrew forced himself not to care.

Neil was truly hopeless with these subjects. He might be fluent in multiple others and a natural with mathematic equations, but trying to wrack his brain for anything he could remember about King Lear or the Treaty of Versailles was like getting a stone to bleed.

By the time the hour was over, Andrew’s head hurt. Despite the obvious aggravation Neil caused, he couldn’t get himself to give it up. Neil was too interesting.

When they left the library it was dark outside and the last stragglers like themselves were being shooed off campus. Andrew marched straight to his car. It was excessively expensive, due to the twins receiving their mother’s life inheritance and an extra tidbit from Betsy. They’d never met her: they just knew she was estranged from her brother and the rest of her family, which was why they’d received the money instead.

When Neil didn’t follow, he paused to call out to him. “Junkie.” He’d been dropping Neil home after every session thus far. Something had changed.

Neil didn’t look at him. “I’ve got a few errands to run.”

Andrew didn’t press it and left Neil standing alone and dejected on the sidewalk.

“Cut the shit. What’s going on?”

Andrew stayed behind the doorway, listening to the conversation. Wymack wasn’t a gentle person, but this was his compassionate side at work: Pulling his athletes aside and getting to the bottom of their problems. He claimed it was to make sure they lived up to his expectations on court, but that was bullshit. Wymack was an absolute grouch of a softy.

“I’m fine, coach.” Neil said. Typical.

“Bullcrap. You could barely keep up with Kevin this morning, and you’re usually running your little heart out, way ahead of him. What’s wrong.”

A moment of pause.

“Nothing, coach. Just a late night.”

Andrew, Wymack and Neil all knew that they could see right through his lies. Well, Wymack and Neil didn’t know he was there. But that was besides the point.

“Scram, Josten.” He said tiredly.

Andrew vanished before Neil had the chance to flee the man’s office. It didn’t need any convincing: Andrew was going to get to the bottom of the stupid, pretty-faced Exy junkie’s strange behaviour.

It was a new, perplexing puzzle to solve. Andrew stopped his jog a distance away from the coach’s office and watched the boy cross the courtyard. Neil glanced at him only once before ducking his head and running off.

Andrew was only doing this because Neil was interesting. Not because he cared. No, not at all.

“Come here.” Andrew snapped.

It was a bad day. He’d woken up in an awful mood, and nothing could improve it. Small, usually insignificant events had turned his mood from sour to volatile and he was itching to get home and into bed, turn off the lights and hide under the covers with Aaron and play on their old Nintendos until Betsy joined them with hot cocoa and marshmallows. Every gaze upon him was sickening, every noise around him making him wince.

Neil, despite his harsh words and reprimands throughout the hour, hadn’t seemed afraid of him. He looked exhausted but not scared as he approached Andrew’s hunched figure on the hood of his car.

Carefully, Neil took the cigarette from between Andrew’s fingers and looked at it, almost melancholic. When it began to wither away, he took a drag and coaxed it slowly back to life. He breathed out slowly, without coughing or choking. Then he slotted the cigarette back between Andrew’s unmoving fingers.

Fuck you. He thought, bitterly. He thought about Drake, his first boyfriend, and how he had ruined everything for Andrew. Maybe he wouldn’t be so scared to kiss Neil, if it weren’t for Drake. Maybe he’d be finally comfortable with his sexuality, if it weren’t for Drake. Maybe he would be able to go through a school day without being terrified for Aaron’s safety if it weren’t for Drake. He would never had needed to lie to Aaron and Betsy, if it weren’t for Drake.

Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, his mind continued. Neil was looking at him with a blank stare. “Give me one good reason not to cut your throat.”

“You called me over here.” He reminded Andrew. Andrew wanted to sneer, but he was spread too thin today. “Andrew, I’m not scared of you.”

“You’re so stupid.” He ground out.

“Maybe.” Neil agreed.

“Why haven’t you asked what’s wrong?” He demanded, stubbing out his cigarette. His back was hurting from sitting like this, but being on the car’s hood gave him a height advantage over Neil. Neil had to crane his neck up to see him, but he was still unafraid. “Everyone asks what’s wrong.”

“I already know something’s wrong.” Neil shrugged. “I don’t need to know what, or why.”

They were very different, then. Neil was complacent to exist, to have everything at face-value, to accept what he was given and never take more. Andrew was deprived of so much that he grabbed for what he could. Two different methods of coping. Two different boys.

And yet, the same sense of understanding, shared between them.

“Let me drive you home.” Andrew said.

“I can’t.” Neil replied.

Andrew nodded and dismissed him with a flick of his fingers. He watched Neil walk away and didn’t move until he was well out of his sight. Then he sighed, hopped off the car and spent the drive home thinking of an excuse as to why he was later than usual for his adoptive mother.

It never worked. He almost always told her the truth.

There were three taps on his bedroom door the next morning, a Saturday morning, which wasn’t what woke Andrew: It never was. His meds made him sleep extremely heavily, which would be sickeningly dangerous if he wasn’t living in a house with only his mother and his brother.

What awoke him was the smell of hot chocolate being brought into the room, and the shrill tone of the home phone’s end dial. He hated that fucking thing, but Betsy needed it because she couldn’t use her mobile for work-related emergencies. His eyes flickered open as his mom settled the mug by his bed.

“Thanks.” He mumbled into the pillow.

“Feeling steadier?” Betsy stroked his hair carefully, knowing that was all she was allowed to do.

He nodded. She smiled gently and offered him the phone. “A friend of yours called. He said to call him back.”

Andrew sat up too quickly, considering he’d skipped dinner. His mouth tasted like July roadkill, having not drunk any water since midafternoon yesterday and his head throbbed. It was all familiar. He snatched the phone and pouted underneath Betsy’s shrewd look. She poked his nose and left the bedroom just as quickly as she’d entered.

The only ‘friend’ Andrew had who didn’t have his mobile number was Neil - mostly because Neil didn’t have a phone himself, but also because asking to talk outside of their tutoring sessions would be admitting to his interest in Neil, which was, obviously, completely crap. Andrew couldn’t care less about him.

“Come to my Exy game.” Neil said, before Andrew’d had the chance to ask him what the fuck did he think he was doing, and how the fuck he got this number. “Ple-” He cut himself off.

Andrew almost forgot they’d had that conversation.

“That’s a lot of please’s in one sentence.” Neil remarked, looking at the practise exam questions for his lit. exam. Andrew snatched the paper off him and looked: The excerpt was two sentences from some random book he’d never heard of. He got a pen and scribbled it out with more aggression than intended.

“You don’t have to do that question.” He decided, re-centring himself easily.

“What did ‘Ballad to Impress’ do to you?” Neil snorted.

“I hate that word.” He answered. “Don’t do the question.”

The boy just nodded. “Okay.”

“Why the fuck am I going to come to your Exy game?”

“I’ll tell you anything you want to know. Just come.”

Now that caught Andrew’s attention. “One question and one honest answer.”

“Yes.” He sounded nervous. “It starts in half an hour: It’s a home game. Will you be there?”

Andrew had to admit, Neil was impossible to deny. “Yes, junkie.”

He let out a sigh of relief, as though he’d been holding it in. “Okay. Thank you.”

“Shut up.” Andrew hung up.

He threw the phone off the bed and flopped back, staring at the ceiling, his mind and heart simultaneously racing.

He definitely hated Neil Josten. So much. All the way to the moon and back.  

:)