#kane imagine

[megamindsecretlair]

All of Me

Pairing: Kane x Black!Fem!reader / Plus Size reader

Warnings: 18+, Minors DNI, You are in charge of your own reading experience. Intentional use of AAVE. Use of n-word. Phone Smut, mutual masturbation (fem and male) cursing, hella dirty talk, begging, possession kink, Daddy kink, teasing, all consensual. Established relationship. Brief mention of violence and murder. No spoilers for the show!

Summary: You were so dreadfully needy and Kane wasn't there to fix it. You decide to call him and tease him a little.

Word Count: 2,366k

A/N: Wanted to do a little sum'n for Thanksgiving while we all winding down from the itis. If I did Tyrone, I'd still be writing! LOL. Ya'll can thank @planetblaque for this! Kane's voice makes me so irrationally feral. Enjoy my rotten brain! Please consider commenting and reblogging to help support writers! I block ageless blogs.

Taglist: @browngirldominion @dayjlovesromance @flydotty @eggnox @blackerthings @hopelessdisasterr @sevikasblackgf @wide-nose-and-wonderful @monaeesstuff @notapradagurl7 @lovedlover @darkskinchristiandiorpostergirl @soft-persephone

This was so unfair. You tossed and turned. The cold sheet beside you felt like it was mocking you. You were horny and he wasn’t here. Your feverish skin made sweat gather everywhere. 

Your fingers desperately rubbed at your clit, getting wetter by the minute. But something was missing. Or someone. Kane had been gone more often than being there with you. And it fucking sucked. But any time you brought it up, he started in with that smile. That head tilt. He’d simply follow you into the room and work out whatever your attitude was.

You pictured yourself riding him. His hands on your hips, effortlessly lifting you up and down on his dick. You wouldn’t be able to tell who was in charge, him directing your pace or you slamming down on his dick. Gripping him tight inside of you as if you meant to keep him there.

A low, ragged moan escaped you. Your orgasm steadily built higher and higher. You pictured that teardrop on his face. Pictured leaning down and licking it. You knew what it meant. You knew that he was a dangerous man. But then you imagined his voice saying dirty things. 

Oh, almost there. Almost there. And…it was gone. “What the fuck!” You screamed into the empty room. That fucking bastard. You were so used to him filling you up that you couldn’t even get off by yourself anymore.

Randomly while taking a bath or shower, you could maybe get there on your own. But nothing else worked. He invaded every part of you. He commanded you, body and soul. And you fucking hated it.

You sat up in bed and cold air hit your damp back. That did little to dull your senses. Your clit was throbbing. You were needy. And he wasn’t here to work it out.

You grabbed the receiver on the nightstand beside you. As you dialed the warehouse’s number, you turned on the light. Your foot dangled off the side of the bed, bouncing as you waited for one of his stupid friends to answer. 

“Put Kane on the mu’fucking phone right now,” you demanded.

“Yes, ma’am,” the little boy said.

You waited, chewing on your nail. You rubbed your forehead. Your fingers came away wet with sweat. This shit was embarrassing. 

“Yeah, baby?” Kane’s deep, raspy voice came over the line and your pusy throbbed in response. Down girl. 

“You need to come home, now,” you said.

“What’s wrong?” He asked. 

“Can’t come home just because I said?” 

“We talked about this, mama. I was gon’ have to be gone for a while while I deal with business,” he said.

So fucking nonchalant. Kane hardly raised his voice. It was infuriating. Sometimes, you wanted to see what he looked like when mad. What it would take to make him react or do something out of character. It was toxic but you didn’t give a shit. 

You refused to beg. You weren't some weak ass bitch begging for dick. And yet, you called. He was on the phone. You sighed, realizing how fucking stupid you looked sitting in the house by yourself all the time. You liked the solitude in the day time. You didn’t have to deal with anyone but your own company, just the way you liked. But at night, when you couldn’t sleep in the middle of the bed no matter how hard you tried, it was lonely. It hit you all over again just how dangerous Kane’s life was. 

“It wasn’t supposed to be like this Kane,” you said.

Kane sighed on the other end. “You trynna tell me somethin’?” 

You rolled your eyes. Your fever was starting to cool. You were still incredibly horny. But you weren’t going to beg.

“Naw. Bye,” you said.

“Wait, you called me. What’s up, for real? Talk to me, baby,” he said.

You listened to the rhythm of his voice. Listening to it, you were starting to get worked up all over again. With a word, he could light a fire under you. With a sentence…

“How long are you gonna be at the warehouse?” You asked. A kernel of an idea wormed its way into your brain. 

“Not sure. Why?” 

You shrugged, even though he couldn’t see it. You lay back against the pillows and got comfortable. 

“Just wondering…” you said. You played with the coil of the phone. 

Kane chuckled. “I know when you up to somethin’.” 

“Me?” You asked, feigning innocence. “I’m just wondering how long I got to play with myself,” you said. 

It was silent on his side. If it weren’t for the open air, you would have thought he hung up the phone. You trailed your hand over your tummy. Kane liked to place extra kisses there. You pictured him kneeling over you, placing soft kisses and watching how your belly dipped. He’d lick certain spots, guaranteeing a laugh from you.

“Are you touching yourself now?” Kane asked. He was deceptively calm. 

“Mhm,” you said. Your hand went lower, slipping beneath your panties. “Wearing your shirt. The long sleeved blue one. And my panties,” you said. Your hand played with your curls and you tried to control your breathing. But this teasing was exactly what you needed. If his punk ass wanted to spend all his time at the warehouse, he ought to know what he was missing out on.

“Where’s your hand at?” Kane asked. You heard shuffling. A creak. 

“Hm, over my pussy. Finna play with my clit the way I like,” you said.

“The way you like, huh,” he said.

You gasped as you moved your fingers through your folds. You were soaked. “Ohh,” you cooed. “I’m soooo wet right now.” 

Kane sighed. “I’m gonna get yo ass for this, I hope you know that. Touching my shit without me,” he said. 

“Oh, I’m so scared. If only I wasn’t so busy takin’ care of business,” you said.

Kane chuckled. He cleared his throat but it did nothing to soften his raspy voice. “You try to talk so tough. It’s kind of cute. But you forget that I know yo ass. You called ‘cause you couldn’t get yourself off, could you?” 

You bit your lip, irritation flaring up. His ass would guess on the first try. Oh well, didn’t matter. You were getting what you wanted and that was all that mattered. 

“Actually, I came before I called. Thought you might want to hear me cum again,” you said. You started to moan as you pictured whatever retribution he was thinking of. If he would spank you. Bend you over his knee. If he would fuck you in his recliner in the living room. If he would play you like a fiddle. If he would get straight to the point and fuck you stupid, not caring if you were wet enough for his big dick. 

“You rubbing your pussy?” Kane asked. His voice went lower, more strained.

“Yes,” you moaned. 

“Slow it down then.” 

“I need to cum,” you said. It had been a horrible night. After you smoked, you got so fuckin’ horny you were bouncing off of the walls. Kane didn’t like you driving by yourself. And he didn’t want you around the warehouse. He didn’t want to have to kill all them niggas for lookin’ sideways at your ass.

You hissed. Murder shouldn’t turn you on. But well, there was something so hot about the way Kane treated you. Like you were the lost City of Atlantis and he guarded the secret with his life. 

“Listen to me, mama. I’ma do you this kindness ‘cause I know Daddy ain’t been around. You’re lucky you caught me in a good mood. So slow it down for me. Go slow, them little circles I know you like,” he said.

You listened. Damn him, but you listened. You slowed down, rubbing large circles around your clit. Your legs shook as the pleasure increased. Your breathing slowed with it. 

“That’s it. Don’t that feel good?” He asked.

“Yes,” you whispered. Your head fell back against the pillow, your eyes rolling back to the ceiling. 

“When I get home, I’m gon’ lick that sweet pussy of yours. Nice and slow, just like you rubbing,” Kane said.

“Oh shit,” you gasped.

“Gon’ push those thighs to the bed. You won’t be able to close ‘em, no matter how much you want me to,” he continued. “Hmm, run my tongue along your pussy. Fuck you with it.”

“Shit,” you said. You could picture that. His tongue fucking into you. His big hands palming your thighs. Your legs dropped open further, as far as they would go. Your hips moved, wanting him there right now. 

“Mhm, slow it back down, mama,” he said. 

“Kane, please,” you said. If you admitted that you lied earlier, you’d never live it down. He’d lord it over you until he found something else to mock you with. Your belly tightened, cramping with the need to cum. 

“Listen to me, mama. You making me so fuckin’ hard over here,” he said.

“Really?” Your pussy clenched. You loved that you affected him just as much he affected you. That you weren’t alone in this obsession. You did as he said, slowing down again. Your fingers were drenched.

“I’m so wet, Kane. I’m gon’ have to wash these sheets,” you said. You chuckled, your voice breathy. 

“Let me hear it then,” Kane said. 

You held in a smile, your cheeks scrunching with the effort. You moved the phone from your ear and held it to your pussy. You played with yourself, nice and slow like he wanted. It was quiet in the room. So you heard how wet you were. You paid attention to the sound. It made you wetter. 

Your ragged moans were dragged from your throat. You were so close.

You brought the phone back to your ear. Kane sighed and groaned. “Damn, little mama. All that for me?” He asked.

“Yes, baby,” you said.

“Mhm, what you ‘sposed to say?” He asked.

“Yes, Daddy,” you moaned.

“There you go. You get that shit right. I shouldn’t have to correct you, right?” 

“Yes, Daddy,” you moaned. 

“Now I want you to taste yourself. Taste how I’m getting that pussy screaming for me,” he said.

“Fuck.” You did what he said. Dragging your fingers past your lips and tasting your arousal. You moaned. 

“I know it’s been a minute since you had this dick, you miss it, huh?” Kane asked.

“Yes, fuck, yes,” you admitted.

“Was that so hard to say?” Kane asked.

“Boy, fuck you,” you said. But there was no heat in your words. He was absolutely right and there was no way that you could deny it. You needed this man. Needed. It should scare you to give so much of yourself to one person. To trust that he’d always be there when you fell. And he had never let you down.

True, moving here was not what you were expecting. You were just happy to have him out of prison and in your arms again. You waited. You deserved his time. Didn’t you? Didn’t you hold it down for him? Weren’t you strong for him? Didn’t you get by, day after day, living with the pain of not having the love of your life in your arms? 

His side of the bed was always so painfully icy. Your hand would accidentally brush it and you’d yank it back as if it scalded you. It reinforced how empty your life had been without him. You could survive without Kane. It would hurt like hell, but you believed you could. You didn’t want to have to. 

You wanted him here, beside you. Holding you. Kissing you. Making you laugh. Fucking you until you both couldn’t breathe. Until the rays of the sunrise poked through the curtains and illuminated his beautiful face.

“Put them fingers inside you, mama,” he said. 

You did as ordered, pushing two fingers inside of you. You gasped. Your voice stuttered. Your fingers were a poor substitute for his thick dick. For the rock of his hips. For his hand on your throat. For his gorgeous eyes closed as he slammed inside of you. Like he didn’t want to be anywhere else. Like you were heaven and he was floating above the clouds.

You sighed and moaned. Kane encouraged you, wanting to hear every sound you made. You listened to his own uneven breathing as he jerked himself off. You pictured him sitting, rubbing his dick. Hard at the thought of you.

“I think…I’m cumming,” you moaned.

“That’s okay, mama. Let it go. You been doing so good. Let that shit go and cum for me,” he said.

You screamed his name as you finally came. The wild force of it knocked the breath from you. You felt like you were in the eye of the storm. Everything was still around you, but inside, you were twisting and turning. Roiling with the intensity of the storm. Your body bowed on the bed as your climax surged through you.

Kane groaned as he came. “Goddammit,” he muttered. He panted as he calmed down. You matched his breaths. 

You felt so much better. You relaxed against the damp pillowcases beneath you. Your skin turned cold as that phantom fever left you with the orgasm. Your chest rose and fell rapidly as you recovered.

Kane took in a deep breath and chuckled. “That’s all you get. I’ll come home and we gon’ talk about you on that bullshit again,” he said.

You giggled. “I’m gonna have to clean myself up. I’m thinkin’...bath. Candles. Definitely gon’ have to touch my pussy again,” you teased. 

Kane was silent once more. You heard shuffling and random shifts from him. “What are you doing?” You asked.

“I’m gon’ be home in twenty minutes and yo ass better be right fuckin’ there,” he said.

“If I’m not?” You asked.

“Don’t push me, little mama,” he said.

“Yes, Daddy,” you said. You tried to sound contrite but you both knew that you were happy as hell to finally get some dick. Twenty minutes wasn’t too long was it?

If you enjoyed this, there is more! The Secret Kane Files

[aritamargarita]

ATTITUDE || 013

im sorry if this chapter is kinda shorter than expected. im sleepy and i would’ve put a timeskip to add the next show but it makes sense to wait on it. promise i’ll make it up to you, time out with [name] will return in the next chapter!

i feel like reader is getting sassier every time i write her—also i don’t even like jerry lawler but im going to deal with it for the sake of commentary.…

The match wasn’t too bad so far. You were already a bit in and you focus your attention to the ring. Currently, The Rock had just hit Kurt Angle with a Samoan drop.

You could feel the crowd becoming antsy, even chanting ‘Rocky!’ every second they got. ‘Wow.’ You begin, adjusting your headphones. ‘They’re really coming alive tonight, huh? Hey, Austin! Who’s side are you on tonight??’

It got to the point where both men were crawling over to their respective corners, reaching out their hands for a tag.

He looks over at you with a dumbfounded look. You should know better than to even ask. ‘No one’s side but my own.’

‘It sounds you’re supporting The Rock.’ You conclude. He starts to speak, but you quickly cut him off. ‘Hey, viewers at home! Austin’s supporting Rock! Can you belie—‘

‘Shut your damn yapper!’ It’s not like he denied it either. ‘I told ya’ who’s side I’m on. You need to be put in time out.’

‘Time out? What am I, 10?? You can’t put me on time out!’

The two of you go back and forth like that for a while, but as soon as The Rock makes his hot tag to Kane, it all went out the window. The crowd erupts in cheers at the Big Red Machine taking care of Kurt.

To the point where you kinda felt bad. Of course, just for him. There’s zero sympathy for Jericho. It’s why you smile with glee when Kane takes him down with a Big Boot after trying to interfere.

So this is Kane, huh? He was monstrous. A force of power. For some reason you felt captivated by his strength.

‘[Name], now you and Y2J have your issues. But there’s rumors that say you two are involved with each other.’ JR says. ‘How do you feel about that?’

You look over in disgust. ‘Ew, don’t ever assault my ears like that again. I should be the last person you should even be asking about being involved with Jericho.’ You gag, covering your mouth. ‘I almost threw up!’

Austin agrees with you. ‘I’m right behind ya’. Let loose right on this table here. There’s a stick so far up his ass I bet he can taste it. Between him, little Rocky, and Angle, I’m not sure who I hate more..’

You decide to piggyback off of him. ‘I don’t mind anyone in the ring besides Jericho. I hope he loses tonight. I’ll laugh in his face as soon as that bell rings. If you open a dictionary, he’d be the definition of egotistic.’

‘It really is the battle of egos in the ring!’ Jerry nods.

Back and forth, Jericho and Kurt tag each other in for a double team. The Rock has yet to be tagged in.

‘This isn’t looking too good,’ You say. ‘I don’t know—‘ As soon as you say that, Kane recovers and Irish whips Kurt into the corner. Kurt runs right back into him and Kane quickly power slams him into the mat.

Now, both men were crawling to get a tag. ‘I’ll eat my words!’ You chime. The both of them make their respective tags and they switch, with The Rock immediately getting the upperhand. ‘Wow! Rock’s on fire!’

Austin just rolls his eyes. ‘I hope he burns ta’ death.’

Completely dominating the competition, The Rock goes even further and flips Kurt into the ring, then tosses him out. He then hits Jericho with a Spinebuster.

But then, he starts trying to apply a Sharpshooter! You had to stand up out of your seat, excited to see it. It had to be one of your favorite submission moves. He could really win with this one.

Oops, nevermind. Kurt comes back and slams his forearm into the back of The Rock’s head. Kane was there to take care of things.

Kane picks Kurt up and tosses him out of the ring once more, the latter slamming onto the ground in front of color commentary. Kane then gets out of the ring, hopping onto the floor.

All you can do is stare, and as he’s about to deal more damage to Kurt, he turns his attention to the commentary table. He’s looking straight at you and you stare back.

You wave. He doesn’t do anything back. He just stares.

Austin somehow had mistaken that Kane was looking at him. ‘The hell are you lookin’ at, ya damn jobbernowl?!’ Just for extra measure, he gives him the middle finger. It’s like he WANTED to go to anger management, jeez.

The Rock finally hits Jericho with a DDT and pins him. And that’s it! That’s the match!

You give a round of applause. You’re elated that Jericho lost tonight, it’s what he deserves. You were so excited that you took your headphones off, hop out of your seat, and grab The Rock’s title.

‘The hell is she up to??’ Austin was confused by your actions, taking off his own headphones.

You reach the title through the ropes with a smile. The Rock looks at you warily, but slowly takes the title. You smile up at him. You could tell he’s confused.

Suddenly, a hand on your shoulder pulls you back.

“What’re ya’ doing givin’ him the title?!” Austin yells.

“Um?! I was just being nice!”

He’s already heard that excuse. “What a load of bologna!” He waved his hand at you. “We’re gettin’ outta here!”

Was it really time to go? You had one last thing to do before you left. “Hold on!” You wanted to rub Jericho’s loss in his face.

But before that, you could see the final stare off between Austin and The Rock. Everyone was definitely anticipating something happening between them, but you didn’t want to stay long enough to witness.

You quickly roll in the ring, leaning down so Jericho can hear you. “HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE A LOSER?! HUH?! HUH?!”

He flinched at your words, but before he could grab at your leg to pull you down, you jump back. No way he’d take you down that easy.

But, hey, you have to remember what Debra said. You couldn’t antagonize him. You had to be the bigger person..

And you damn sure would try your hardest. Maybe if you walked away now, she’d reconsider your classes!

You do so, rolling out of the opposite side of the ring and wait for Austin to meet you there. It’s time to get the hell out of here.

HOTEL ROOM // 8:23 PM

The phone rings, so you roll over in bed to pick it up. “Hello?”

“Hey.” Lita’s voice came from the other side of the line, her voice slightly tired. “What’re you up to?”

“Nothing.” You respond. “What, are you going to ask what I’m wearing next?”

Your words bring a laugh out of Lita. “Hilarious. I was just curious on how things went with Jeff yesterday?”

“Things got interesting. Promise to not tell anyone?”

“Of course.”

“Well, I kissed him when you guys left, but that’s all. We did nothing other than that.”

Lita gasps. “Really?? That’s why he was smiling like crazy the entire night...”

Thank god the room was a single suite. You weren’t sure what you’d do if this information got into the wrong hands. Your clothes were neatly folded once more, this time with no shaky hands! You were proud of yourself.

“Oh yeah? He was smiling the whole time?” It brought a smile to your own face. “That’s nice. But enough about me. What’s up with you and Team Extreme??”

Lita sighs. “Still unresolved. I don’t know what I’m going to do. All of us, all we’ve been doing is fighting and I don’t know how to fix it….’

“Hmm..” You go into thought for a minute. How would you approach a situation like that anyway? It’s hard to talk after all that yelling. You’ve witnessed one argument, and it’s safe to say you don’t want to see anymore. “You know, Debra is forcing me AND Austin into anger management. On that note, maybe you should look into couples therapy. You and Matt.”

Lita’s just starts to snicker. “Oh wow. I’m sorry—“ You could tell she was trying her hardest not to laugh. “You and none other than Stone Cold Steve Austin,” She says the name for a full effect, “..are going to anger management. That is something I never thought I’d hear.”

“It’s a shocker, isn’t it?” You say, rolling over to the nightstand. The cord had gotten stuck, so you had to untangle it. “We were forced, it’s not like we can go against Debra’s word.”

“She’s like your mom or something.”

“Definitely.”

“Hey, wait, you weren’t doing anything, right?“ Lita asks. You give her a “no”, and you could just tell there’s a smile on her face. “Good. We’re going to IHOP. What’s your room number?” A pancake addict in the making, it seems. “I still haven’t gotten any and I think it’d be a good way to talk. There’s a lot I need to tell you that I can’t say here.”

“And what better than doing it over a plate of pancakes, right? Sure, I’ll come with you.” You definitely had a lot to tell her, but you were pretty sure it was vice versa. Before you can talk with her anymore, the phone rings again. “Hold on, I’m getting another call.”

Momentarily trying to figure out what button was used to put someone on hold, you tap it quickly and hit the button to accept the next line. “Hello?”

“Evening, Nitro Girl.”

It’s Triple H. Or should you say Hunter? You were shocked to hear his voice again.

“Evening.” You greet back.

“Got anything new for me?”

“I don’t, unfortunately.” You sigh. “I’m surprised you’re calling me, what’s the deal?”

“I’m returning to the ring in about a week. I’ve already been making my rounds backstage. I’d like you to keep your eyes peeled and your ears open. I know there’ll be a lot of talk.” He said. “If Jericho or someone close to him has a blabber mouth, report back to me.”

You weren’t sure how you missed him tonight, but there’s always next time. “As if Jericho has any friends. His ego is so inflated I’m not sure there’s any room for them. But I’ll do what you ask.”

“Atta’ girl. That’s all I can ask for. Stephanie’s been acting….normal for the most part. Hasn’t talked about anyone else lately since I’ve mentioned coming back to wrestle. She seems excited.”

“That’s a given. You’re coming back to the ring. From what I’ve heard, you two were pretty unstoppable when it came to matches. She helped you out a lot.” It was true. Stephanie always interfered one way or another. You shrug slightly. “I’m sure business partners are out of the window.”

He’s silent for a minute, but before you can begin talking again, he goes first. “I’m still led to believe that she could be sleeping with someone else. You’d better get used to this, we’ll be calling very frequently from now on.”

Oh great! You’ll be talking to him for a while then. Especially if what he thinks turns out to be true.

“You know, I can think of maybe TWO people who definitely wouldn’t approve of this partnership…” You trail off, wrapping the phone cord around your finger.

“Then this is just our dirty little secret. I told you, nothing more, nothing less.”

“Well, what if there’s more?”

He seemed intrigued. “Go on.”

You’ll take your chances. You’ve already made your bed, it’s time to lie in it. Even if the accusations were false, you’d pretend like you never spoke to him. “You and I, how about we get even closer? I mean, if Stephanie’s possibly stepping out, why don’t you give her a taste of her own medicine? I mean, if your instincts are telling you the truth.”

“That’s cute. Listen, I’m only about business. I don’t normally stray past business relationships.”

“Unfortunate.”

“However, I may make an exc—“

Knocks at your door had made you get up out of bed. “Shoot. I’ve gotta go. I’ll talk to you later.” You don’t even give Hunter a chance to respond before you slam the phone onto the base. Getting up, you open the door.

Of course, It’s Lita that’s waiting for you, car keys in hand.

“You ready?”

You were in fact, not ready. Between having to throw something suitable on and haphazardly printing directions, you were a little off.

“[Name]?”

“Yeah?”

“…When you printed out those directions, are you sure they were to go to IHOP?” Lita asks. “Because right now, that looks like a Waffle House.”

“Waffle House?” You repeat. “What?” She stops the car momentarily, pulling over so she can read the directions herself. She points to the yellow sign first, then looks back to the paper.

“Yup. This says to Waffle House. What the hell did you do on the hotel computer? More importantly, how did you mess up?! International House of Pancakes and Waffle House aren’t the same thing!”

You just laugh. It’s all you can do. There’s always something getting in your way. No pancakes tonight!You two were already close to the end. “W-Why aren’t you laughing?”

“…Because it’s not funny.”

“I’m sorry. I don’t know how that happened! I guess we’re eating waffles tonight. We’re already here.” You shrug, throwing your hands out defensively. Lita can only huff.

“Fine. But next time, I get to print the directions and you drive.” She pulls back into the street to enter the parking lot and all you can do is smile.

It’s only about 8:35. You’d probably be getting back to your room at a decent time! Not bad at all. You were pretty hungry, so you hoped they could cook fast.

You two entered the building and were seated quickly. It was sort of busy, but you liked hearing the chatter from nearby. It made you feel comfortable.

Lita takes a seat from across you. “I think me and Matt are done for a while…” She begins. “It’s just too much. I can’t deal with it right now. I feel like all he cares about is himself.”

“I told you, you’d better look into like, some type of therapy. It sounds like you guys are really going through it right now.”

Instead of laughing, she seems to mull over it. “Mmmm, I don’t know. I’m just tired of all the yelling. They’ve got another match coming up so I’m hoping this all goes away.”

“I could invite you to anger management.” Extending the offer to her could only make her scoff.

“Hell no.”

Once you two ordered your food, you felt like it was your turn to say what’s been on your mind. “You know remember who called on the hotel phone? You’ll never guess who it was.” You pause for dramatic effect. “..Triple H.”

“What??” Lita was definitely taken aback. She could remember it like it was yesterday. Funnily enough, it was him and Austin who had terrorized not only herself, but targeted both the Hardy Boys. Even Stephanie got in on it. And it’s not like you had a clue, you weren’t in the company yet. “Are you serious?”

You idly pick up your fork with a nod. “Yeah. Whole thing is, he thinks Stephanie is cheating or something. Now we’re like not-so-official business partners.”

Lita was all for taking Stephanie down. She was a thorn in her side last year for the Women’s Championship. The feud was mostly over, but she had a right to feel bitter. “Whatever you do, I’ll be supporting you.”

For some reason, you felt a bit surprised she didn’t protest. No doubts, no nothing. She just said she’ll support you. “Wow, okay.”

“And I’m sure Jeff will be right behind you.” She gives you a devilish smile, making you roll your eyes.

You weren’t entirely sure about that. “That was only a one time thing, I don’t think it’ll happen again. I’m sure Jeff was still pretty woozy from his last match and the one before.” You can only hope it’s the opposite.

Lita can only reply in a sing-song voice, mocking and mirroring yours from earlier that night. “I don’t think sooooo!”

Your food was set down on the table. After thanking the waiter, the only thing you could do was rub your forehead. “You’re a real piece of work.”

“I’m sure you love me anyway.“

reader + jeff is in fact, not a one time thing. *puts y’all in a tag team match*

i’ve always heard mapquest was used for directions back then…so staying true to the 2001 theme they had to use it LMAO

lita & reader are just fun to write together!! you gotta love team extreme. but im trying to think how to involve matt tbh he is a big meanie. and im sorry i have to say this but y’all gonna be like 😮 at one of the parts next chapter IM SOO SERIOUS it’s definitely in the works

[betterthanbatman1]

They’re ridiculous

[justaz]

percabeth hang with the kanes rather frequently and can’t help but fall into the parental role toward them. percy already had the idea of his and annabeth’s kids looking and acting like the kane siblings but when he sees annabeth admonishing them for doing something stupid and them going “yes mom” all sarcastically, it really drives the point home.

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

eternally thinking about alex giggling through his lyrics when miles tries to kiss him

[soupinaboot]

Batman's life must feel like a goddamn soap opera at times.

[ultraxavbo]

It makes me laugh a lot to think that most people have this idea that Bruce Wayne doesn't know how to do household chores, such as cooking, washing his clothes, etc. But if you think about it, I'm very sure that if he knows how to do household chores because when he had to leave to be able to train like Batman he had to be completely independent since he didn't have Alfred to help him with that.

[lindseymcdonaldseyelashes]

Leverage 3x15 - "The Big Bang Job"

[aeturnum-mendacacium]

the justice league had an undercover mission where a they try to track down a intergalactic intruder who is introducing alien drugs to humans, to do so some members attend a masquerade gala in pairs to find and interrogate a high society couple who have been in close proximity of the drug before and most probably got effected by it without their knowledge, but they aren't the safest people so they have to take some samples and and ask them questions about it without them getting suspicious, basically have to get them to trust you, so the justice league figured that someone who Is good a infiltration and interrogation should go! So they decide on batman with a bit of hesitation cause they don't know if he can act or not, batman realises this and tells them he will bring batwoman with him to make it look more believable

And so they go to the gala and and the justice league (some on coms and some actually there but just spying on them incase something bad happens) asks him how in the world would he get close to them, he simply replies "I am aware I have a flattering face and body, and I'm willing to use it" the justice league goes crazy after calming down just a bit (they didn't) they think "we should have realised batsy would be willing to do anything for a mission but GODAMN" and they expect batman to chat up the women and batwoman the man

Batman however approaches the man and batwoman the women

To their horror batwomen is flirting with the wife and the husband is now on top of batman

What the fuck is going on

[darkacademiablues]

Baby we oughta

*takes off sunglasses, intense eye contact*

Fuhck

[ghostlyarchaeologist]

The fight that never was.

Leverage S02E07 The Two Live Crew Job.

[giveamadeuschohisownmovie]

Forgot to add this rule. If a character is vegan/vegetarian, assume they get tofu dogs.

[kimberly-spirits13]

Steph, Babe, Cass, and Kate driving through Gotham streets with “Bejeweled” or some Taylor Swift song terrorizing rouges

[clarissaweasley-10]

Alright then... Can we officially declare Jameson Winchester Hawthorne as the captain of the ship?

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

the body language. the fucking body language ?????

[updownlately]

i hope he's home for you (even though i had to lose you)

| leah williamson x reader

~~~

“Leah, are you kidding me?”

You couldn’t believe this. You never thought you’d be put in a position where you’d have to fight for your girlfriend’s affection yet here you were, doing exactly that. 

You only got a shrug in response, the blonde shuffling on the couch, trying to get more comfy as she continued texting on her phone. 

“I’m going for a little over a month and you’re already replacing me?” The incredulous look on your face didn’t do your emotions justice, the thought of the blonde not cherishing your last few days together absolutely shocking you.

“It’s nothing serious, I promise. Plus, he’s cute, outgoing, and really friendly…it’s going to be a good time,” she replied, not bothering to look up from her phone.

The nonchalant retort didn’t have the comforting effect that the blonde had hoped, actions not lining up with words, only managing to irritate you further. 

Eyebrows furrowing, you got up from your place at your kitchen island, making your way to stand near her. “I hope you do realize that these are our last couple days together before I literally fly across the world for the tournament for a whole month and then some?”

Just barely getting a nod in reply, you huffed, face twisting in annoyance.

You continued, hoping the midfielder would rethink her decision. “You’re gonna miss me you know? Especially when he can’t cook any of your favourite foods. And when our usual Sunday dates don’t happen, you’re going to feel it.”

“It won’t be that bad…he’ll be good company while you’re gone…”

You threw your hands up in exasperation, not believing that these were the words coming out of Leah’s mouth. The same Leah that had practically moved into your apartment after you had made things official. The same Leah that would constantly plan date nights for the two of you, wanting to spend as much time together as possible during the season. The same Leah that would complain every morning when you’d leave your shared bed to only start the coffee pot for the both of you. The same Leah that was now treating you like a spare choice, too caught up in the novelty of the new to even bother to remember the good times you two shared thus far. 

Silence hung in the air, disbelief making you momentarily mute, the other girl too caught up in texting that verbal communication was a hindrance.

It was only when Leah spoke again that you snapped out of your bewilderment.

“Actually, I think I’m going to go out today with him, I’ve just texted Beth and she’s free too…”

You couldn’t believe it. You really couldn’t. This was actually happening. Throwing your head back, you took in a deep breath, one that Leah could hear even from her seat a handful of feet away.

“So what? You’re going to make time for him but not for me? That’s how important I am to you? I leave soon Leah!”

“Oh come on, you’re acting like I’ve gotten a new boyfriend or something!” It was Leah’s turn to be annoyed, the blonde turning towards you as she got up, mild amusement littering her face. 

“You practically have!” You whined back, shoulders dropping, foot gently stomping petulantly.

“Babe, Cheeto won’t be replacing you, he’s just going to keep me company while you’re gone.” Leah was fully smiling now, hands on her hips as she observed your little temper tantrum, it amusing her more than she’d ever let on.

You raised your eyebrows at the skipper, not pleased with her reply.  

“He’ll be here when I’m back…he’s not gonna go away.” You were aware that you sounded absolutely childish right now but the thought of him being here and getting all of Leah’s attention while you were oceans away didn’t seem fair to you.

“Love, trust me, you’ll like him, he’s full of love.” The fond smile Leah expressed as she spoke the words set an uneasy feeling in your stomach. 

“You realize he probably won’t like exercising right? He’ll be more trouble than peace? And what kind of name is ‘Cheeto’? It just sounds stupid.”

Leah couldn’t help but laugh at your last comment, the immatureness of it finally breaking her. 

“It’s not like I can move much anyways? And he’ll keep things interesting. Plus, I think the name’s fitting, he does look like a ‘Cheeto’.” 

With the blonde recovering from her ACL, you knew she was right. Another presence around would help. Still, it didn’t mean you had to like it.

Rolling your eyes, well aware that you had no retort, you turned away from the Englishwoman and hoped that your body language spoke your aversion.

You heard a gentle laugh behind you before the patter of Leah’s footsteps filled your ears, her hand coming to rest on your waist and turning you to face her quickly after.

Bringing both of her hands to intertwine with yours, the blonde waited for you to meet her eyes before speaking.

“Listen…I’m not replacing you. Especially not with Cheeto. Yes he’s a great puppy but he’s no you, okay? Also you love dogs, especially corgis. You’ll love him, I promise.”

Finally giving up your act, you let yourself be pulled into Leah, letting go of her hands in favour of wrapping them around her while she did the same.

“I hope he treats you better than I ever could,” you mumbled into her neck, a teasing smile present on your face as you cuddled further into her warmth.

Leah’s laugh rang melodically throughout the apartment, her arms wrapping tighter around you. “Oh shut it you.”

Grinning, you knew you wouldn’t mind having Cheeto around, glad that Leah had something to fill her heart while you were gone, even if you weren’t the one she was choosing. 

“You deserve the world times two and I hope Cheeto and I can give that to you…” 

Feeling Leah’s pull you impossibly closer at your whispered words, you sighed in comfort, contentness spreading through your body.