#kanaya approved

[intercosmiiic]

Vriska Serket has been found dead in miami. RIP bozo.

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

tipsyGnostalgic: i want to FUCK and DIE

grimAuxiliatrix: *Bzzt* What Is A Salmon

ectoBiologist: i know there’s a joke here somewhere but i don’t understand it, so i’m choosing to interpret this as the person saying that and then getting electrocuted and forgetting what a salmon is.

[lisamcradical]

I done fucked up and made a Homestuck character study fanfic in 2023 what the fuck

[thewertsearch]

GG: yaaaaaay!!! GA: Youll Need Somewhere To Keep Them While They Grow

Vriska would approve.

Also, I hope that water's fresh.

GG: so what is the actual purpose of all this breeding? GG: am i trying to make one really special frog with just the right genetic code or something? GG: sort of like the ULTIMATE FROG :O GA: Actually GA: Yes GA: Thats Exactly What Youre Doing […] GA: Your Objective Is To Breed The Genesis Frog

The Genesis Frog - a phrase I’m willing to bet is capitalized even without Kanaya’s quirk - would fit right in with Bilious Slick's other titles.

I think Jade's literally trying to create Slick, or an iteration of him, and that deriving his genome is crucial to the session's endgame. He's been haunting us for thousands of pages, and his importance is nothing less than absolute.

GA: You Cant Complete The Game Without Doing So GA: Your Entire Mission Depends On Breeding Him

Finally.

Come on, Kanaya, play ball with me here.

What is the purpose of Bilious Slick, the Genesis Frog?

GG: what do we do after i make this big god froggy? GG: does it have something to do with the new universe we create? GA: Most Certainly

...oh my fucking god.

Oh my FUCKING god.

She's deadass, isn't she? She's not being figurative, allegorical or metaphorical. Kanaya is literally saying that if you zoom out far enough from a universe, you'll see Bilious Slick's beady eyes staring back at you. The true shape of reality is a thing that croaks.

This is why Derse hates him. He's a symbol of Player victory, and Derse's entire raison d'etre is to oppose the Players. The amphibian civil war was signalling the opposing Carapacian attitudes to the creation of a universe.

This is why Aradia associates Slick with probability. He contains all possibilities because he's made of Paradox Space.

This is why Vriska was so surprised that John found one in his Land. Creating frogs is an endgame quest, and her own Space Player took weeks to make progress in cloning them.

The Forge hasn't even entered yet, and John's already holding one of the ancestors of his nascent universe.

And this the answer to the Great Frog Riddle. It's why Slick stands at the peak of every Sburb Temple - because he is its genesis, its purpose and its prize.

Bilious Slick is more than a god – he’s a space for gods to fill.

It's shit like this that makes Homestuck my favorite webcomic of all. The Ultimate Reward - the grand prize of reality's great game - is a fucking frog.

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

I know you've touched on it in your Gamzee Essay/general alternative timeline post but may I hear some more about your ideas regarding GamTav (or only Tavros)? You get these two in a way the broader fandom doesn't (which is fine, I'll still reblog even the most vanilla ooc art of them) so I'd really love hearing more of your thoughts:3

Ok, I think this is going to be someeewhat controversial, but I think they're destined for pale together, despite Gamzee's initial flushed flirting. I did in fact reread ALL of Tavros's logs for this.

I think the first thing we need to establish is that Tavros actually feels really shitty about himself. It's obvious that his problem is "self-esteem," since he's constantly prattling on about it, but there's a bit he says as Tavrossprite that's pretty enlightening as to where his actions stem from:

TAVROSPRITE: i SYMPATHIZE ENTIRELY WITH YOUR SOCIAL IMPASSE, cAUSING NOT GOOD REFLECTIONS ABOUT YOURSELF, tHAT MAYBE ALSO DOUBLE AS LIBERATING STUFF ABOUT YOU THAT YOU RANDOMLY DECIDE IS FINE SUDDENLY, TAVROSPRITE: oLD ACQUAINTANCES, aND GUYS YOU ONCE CALLED FRIENDS, TAVROSPRITE: tHOSE ARE VERY HARD, TAVROSPRITE: bECAUSE OVER TIME THEY GET EXPOSED TOO MUCH, tO ALL MY FLAWS AND INSECURITIES, TAVROSPRITE: aND THEY START LIKING ME LESS BECAUSE OF THAT, TAVROSPRITE: aT LEAST, tHAT'S HOW THE TRUTH FEELS, iN MY BRAIN, TAVROSPRITE: sO i START THINKING, mAYBE THEY CAN'T BE THAT IMPORTANT TO ME, aFTER ALL, iF i'M GOING TO WANT TO FEEL NOT SAD ABOUT MYSELF ALL THE TIME,

He has a mixture of self-loathing and social anxiety, the latter of which exacerbates the former, as his mind tells him that his friends secretly hate him. However, his real problem is what he then does with those feelings - he avoids them and the situations that cause them. This causes two major knock-on effects: the first is that he actively ends up distancing himself from people who ARE nice to him and DO care about him, only adventuring with Vriska because he's a pushover and she's very pushy (he adventures completely alone up until that point, and winds up sleeping almost all the time afterwards); the second being that, because he refuses to actually sit with and address his negative feelings about himself (or anything else), he's never able to fix them, or remove himself from shitty situations.

Something consistent with Tavros is that every time he tries to make a decision before his death and Vriska-prototyping, it's by trying to rely on something external - whether that's his imaginary friend, his robot legs, or the story of Pupa Pan... or relying on advice from Kanaya, or seeking approval and forgiveness from Vriska, or earning flushed interest from Jade. He believes himself to be deeply flawed and untrustworthy, so he allows other people to make his decisions, and when relationships do get intimate enough that someone might get him vulnerable, he peaces out. Even his ill-fated attempt to kill Vriska is heavily encouraged by Vriska herself:

AT: aND THAT BEING THE CASE, AT: eVEN THOUGH i'M TERRIFIED OF YOU, AT: aND nOT AS STRONG, AT: oR REAL CONFIDENT, AT: oNLY MOSTLY FAKE CONFIDENT, AG: Yeeeeeeees? AG: Go on. AT: i THINK, AT: i AM GOING TO HAVE TO STOP YOU, AG: Yeah! That's the spirit. AG: Pretty weakslime threat there, 8ut it's a start. AG: Tell you what. AG: If you can find me in this la8, you can have at me. AG: I'll even give you a free shot! No funny 8usiness or anything. AT: oK, AT: tHEN, AT: hERE i COME, AG: I'll 8e w8ing. <3

As we see with Jade, whom he's attempting to flirt with flushed, he's actively trying to impress her using "self-esteems" explicitly gained from "fake" things he's acknowledging as fake - that is, refusing to be genuine and vulnerable with her, because he doesn't believe anyone would like him the way he actually is.

AT: bUT WHAT ABOUT, AT: mY ATTRACTIVE BRAVADO, AT: aND IGNORING MY INSTINCTUAL COWARDICE HARD ENOUGH TO SAY THAT i LIKE YOU, AT: iSN'T THAT, AT: sUPPOSED TO BE VERY ATTRACTIVE, aND ENCOURAGE THE MAJOR HAVING OF FLUSHED FEELINGS IN OTHERS, AT: i GUESS WHAT i MEAN IS, wHAT ABOUT ALL MY CONFIDENCE, AT: wHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THAT,

His "dating" Vriska in the dream bubbles is also dubious and one-sided at best, as John calls him out for faking it and Tavros isn't willing to bring up wanting the Ring of Life because he was planning to propose to Vriska. Thus, once more, he's attempting to use something disingenuous (in this case, a human proposal) to win another person's affection, which he believes would be a symbol of actualizing his "self-esteem".

We also literally see him do the "deciding someone wasn't actually important to you after all, so it hurts less when you cut them off before they can hurt you emotionally by noticing your flaws" thing with Nepeta - he actually quite likes Nepeta, and would certainly have enjoyed having her play the game with him, but he assures her that it's not a big deal basically immediately, and insists he'll just find someone else:

AC: :33 < tavros im sorry i cant be on your team :(( AC: :33 < im not allowed AT: oH, AT: tHAT'S OKAY, AT: tHEN i GUESS HE SAID NO, tHEN, ... AC: :33 < hmm purrhaps AC: :33 < but i still f33l bad AT: i'LL FIND ANOTHER PLAYER, iT'S NOT A BIG DEAL, AT: gOOD LUCK, bEING, AT: oN THE BLUE TEAM, AC: :33 < ok thanks :((

But, perhaps most strikingly, is the way he leaves his good friend Gamzee on read after Gamzee suggests... gasp... intimacy.

TC: WhEn wE Up aNd sTaRt tO KiCk aT ThIs rEd TeAm NoIsE, TC: YoU ShOuLd mAkE YoUr wAy tO GeT YoUr hAnG On aT My hIvE. AT: oH, yES, tOTALLY, TC: We cOuLd sPlIt a tIn oF ThE PiMpEsT SnEeZe i gOt oN HaNd, BaKeD Up aLl sPeCiAl fOr yOu. TC: AnD ThEn mAyBe mAkE OuT A LiTtLe. AT: uH, TC: ;o) AT: , AT: ,,

It freaks him out, and he's never seen hanging with Gamzee again. And this is a huge shame, because not only is Tavros one of the only people who is nice to Gamzee and appreciates his religious beliefs, but Gamzee is one of the only people who hears out Tavros's genuine insecurities and desires without making fun of him:

AT: tHE ONLY THING MORE FLY THAN THE RHYMES, AT: i'M SAYING TO EXPRESS ALL MY MALICES, AT: iS THE ABILITY HE HAD i WISH WAS MINE, AT: iNSTEAD OF i GUESS, THIS EXCESSIVE PARALYSIS, TC: (lOoK OuT FoR ThE HoOk bRo!!!) TC: GeT OfFa tHoSe wHeElS, gEt oFfA ThOsE WhEeLs. TC: If mIrAcLeS ArEn't fAkE He'lL GeT OfFa tHoSe wHeElS! AT: bUT HIGH, iN THIS CASE, hAS DOUBLE THE MEANING, AT: iT MEANS HE CAN FLY, pLUS DOES HIGH SELF ESTEEMING, AT: tHAT'S TWO THINGS HE HAS, tHAT i'D RATHER WERE MINE, AT: hIS TWO FLAPPY WINGS, aND hIS BIG HEALTHY SPINE, AT: oOPS, AT: tHAT'S THREE THINGS,,, TC: GeT OfFa tHoSe wHeElS, gEt oFfA ThOsE WhEeLs. TC: If mIrAcLeS ArEn't fAkE He'lL GeT OfFa tHoSe wHeElS!

(Compare:)

PAT: i'M SORT OF, lYING ON vRISKA'S FLOOR RIGHT NOW, PAT: lIKE, iN HER BLOCK, PAT: lYING DOWN, PAT: uHH, yOU KNOW, bECAUSE i CAN'T WALK, CCG: OH NO SHIT REALLY??? CCG: YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS, WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN.

He isn't able to do a REAL self-confidence at least until he gives Vriska the bird and flies away, for the first time asserting that he thinks she's an asshole and doesn't actually want or need her validation or approval. After that, he's able to convince a ghost army to follow him using friendship and asking and niceness. Breath powers! Also Page powers! Also actual self-esteems! Although I don't personally hold anything after Game Over as anything more than soft canon, I think we can still see a fairly straightforward character arc reach a natural conclusion there.

But as to why I specifically think him and Gamzee are destined for pale, despite what appears to be flushed leanings from Gamzee's end, and despite the fact that I usually believe what the comic tells me, is because what brief few interactions we see between them are very much pale in nature, and it would be kind of narratively bizarre if Gamzee were set up to have a failed moirallegiance - the quadrant described as "soul mates" - without managing to find his real soul mate after. And who's it going to be? Equius? Or the guy that Gamzee literally says he feels "at chill with" talking to?

Gamzee kissing Tavros's corpse is often used as evidence for his desire for flushed, but I disagree - however Gamzee feels about Tavros romantically, kissing a dead player is how you revive them, so it reads to me - especially given how sad Gamzee is about Tavros dying - more like a desperate act to bring him back. Lest we forget, Terezi also gives it a try, and Karkat kisses Kanaya for the same reason - the reality that their extra lives are gone hasn't sunk in yet for these 13 year old kids, so they must try revival even if they know it won't work.

Moreover, Gamzee indirectly describes Tavros as his "best friend," after having called Karkat that through most of the game, and having an implied pale crush on Karkat during that time.

TC: YOU MOTHER FUCKING KNOW, BROTHER. TC: its the fuckin puppet. TC: THE ONE THAT'S ALL GOT TO BE MY BEST FUCKING FRIEND I GOT NOW. TC: now that my other buddy managed to be having his head chopped off. :oC

Moreover moreover, what Karkat cites as being the cause of their moirallegiance's failure is Gamzee's religious beliefs:

KARKAT: HE STARTED GETTING SO UNBELIEVABLY SELF SATISFIED AND PIOUS, LIKE WAY MORE THAN HE EVER WAS BEFORE. KARKAT: LIKE HE'S JUST SO COMPLETELY CONVINCED HE'S FOUND HIS CALLING, THAT THIS SESSION IS THE GATEWAY TO THE PROMISED LAND WHERE HE'LL FULFILL HIS DESTINY. KARKAT: HE'S SO CAUGHT UP IN HIS IDIOTIC SCHEMES HE COULDN'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT ME ANYMORE.

Which are explicitly what Tavros invites Gamzee to speak on, and appreciates:

AT: yEAHHH, yOU CAN TALK ABOUT THE CLOWN THINGS, wHICH, AT: i DON'T REALLY UNDERSTAND EVER, bUT THAT'S OKAY, AT: bECAUSE IT'S KIND OF FUNNY, AT: wHEREAS, i'LL ADDRESS SOME TOPICS PERTAINING TO MY INTERESTS, AT: aND i GUESS, pERSONAL MOTIFS, TC: YeAh! FuCk YeAh, ThAt Be HoW sHiT's AlL uSuAlLy Up AnD fUcKiN lOcKeD bRo. ... AT: dO YOU HAVE TIME FOR, mY MIRACLES, rELIGIOUS FRIEND, }:) TC: Do yOu gEt yOuR NoTiCe oN Of tHe mIrAcLeS AT: sO MANY, uH, gRATUITOUS EXPLETIVE, mIRACLES, tHE MAGIC MOTHER, aLSO eXPLETIVE, mIRACLES, TC: FuCk yEs, HeReS WhErE ThE SlAm tUrNs tO NoThIn bUt hOnKs... TC: HoNk hOnK HoNk hOnK HoNk hOnK HoNk TC: HoNk hOnK HoNk hOnK HoNk hOnK HoNk AT: HONK, TC: FuUuUuUuUuUuUuUuUuCk! AT: iT'S LESS APPROPRIATE FOR ME TO DO THE HONKS, tHAN YOU, bUT THAT WAS STILL GREAT, TC: YeAh, BrO. yEaH!!! AT: tHE SLAMS WERE TRULY PRIME, aND, AT: yOUR RELIGIOUS VIEWS, tHOUGH i DON'T SHARE THEM, aRE, AT: rEASONABLY INSPIRATIONAL, AT: i THINK i'M IN THE PROCESS OF RELEASING AT LEAST ONE TEAR,

But also in Tavros's single conversation with Gamzee, we see Tavros stand up to a highblood:

TC: :o) HoNkHoNkHoNkHoNkHoNk AT: }:o), hEH, TC: hAhAh FuUuUuCk, YoU sToLe My FuCkIn NoSe BrO! TC: WhAt GoT yOu EvEn Up ThE gUmPtIoN tO aLl FuCkIn Do ThE sHiT lIkE tHaT? AT: eRR, i DON'T KNOW, iT'S JUST, AT: kIND OF THE OBVIOUS THING TO DO, AT: sTICK THE CIRCLE IN FRONT OF THE DOTS, aND, bEHIND THE BENDY ONE, AT: pLUS, oH YEAH, mY HORNS, TC: hAhAhAhA. AT: mAYBE WE CAN SLAM ABOUT IT, ... TC: fUuUuCk, So FuCkIn FrEsH. TC: YoU nEeD tO bE sLaPpEd FuCkIn SiLlY wItH a MoUtH lIkE tHaT! hAhA. AT: aND, iF YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH IT, AT: tHEN i SUGGEST YOU GO AND RAP IT DUDE,

He feels safe with Gamzee, enough to take a bit of an attitude with him, enough to open up about his insecurities about his disability and how much he wishes he was like Pupa Pan, and Gamzee explicitly states he feels calm when he talks to Tavros, which is the stated function of a moirallegiance.

TC: Me tOo, BrO, yOu mOtHeR FuCkIn kNoW ThErE Be sOmE Of mY EyE's RoYaL JeLlY To gO WiTh yOuR EmOtIoNaL pEaNuT BuTtEr. AT: wHOA, aHA, hA, TC: ThIs iS BeAuTiFuL, dUdE, i fEeL So aT ChIlL WiTh yOu. AT: yEAH, fRIENDLINESS WITH YOU IS, pRETTY MUCH ALWAYS NICE, aND FUN TO HAVE,

And the thing is, trolls are constantly getting into moirallegiances when they want to be flushed (Eridan, Kanaya), having palecrushes when they want to be friends (Gamzee), and winding up flushed with their moirail (pale solfef is forshadowed in the same breath as pale erikar, and they don't seem to confirm a matespritship until after Sollux's actual flushed crush, Aradia, explodes). Especially for Gamzee, who was neglected by his lusus and struggles with social interaction to the point where he feels like he has to hide his real self (casteist beliefs, constant talk of religion and murder, which, by the way, come out when he talks to Tavros), it'd be easy for him to mistake the "instinctive attraction" of moirallegiance for the passions of matespritship.

These thoughts are all pretty disorganized - I'm really sorry, it's super late/early for me and I'm exhausted for other reasons - but I hope that that . was what you wanted? hahah

[fefairys]

I just read up to the breakup with Meenah and Vriska and fuck, i really dislike that whole situation. Got any thoughts you wanna ramble about regarding that?

OKAY I FINALLY GOT HERE IN MY REREAD.

god yes everything involving meenah and (vriska) and the vriska (vriska) confrontation is extremely fascinating to me. mostly because i resonate with a lot of it so hard it hurts. long ass post below. i got very personal lol what can i say. i vriska.

(vriska) goes into people-pleasing mode when she and meenah are alone. it actually reminds me of how she would sometimes act with kanaya. the vulnerability, mainly. but like. its a little different. with kanaya it was more like 'youre the only bitch around here i respect, but im still better than everyone else. i want you to like me but i dont NEED you to! (<-lie)' but with meenah its like 'you are the only person i have and so i have to be good for you so you dont leave me.'

she backs down super easily with meenah. sometimes she does argue for herself, but ultimately she always ends up deferring to meenah. she wants to agree with everything she says. wants her to like her:

^ she doesnt want to say the carnival looks fun until she's gotten meenah's approval. she has to be cool for meenah.

her suggestion gets shot down and she immediately sides with meenah. oh yeah i didnt want to do that anyway in fact i hate horses!

it's tricky, because of some of it seems like actual Character Development, and her getting over some shit. and i definitely think these thinks dont have to be mutually exclusive. she can be realizing things about herself and moving on from them while at the same time falling into habits that are equally unhealthy for a person.

she realizes she used to care way too much about stuff and tries to counter it by not caring at all. she realizes she used to push people around to much and counters it by becoming a pushover herself. this is sickeningly relatable to me.

the scene where meenah convinces her to get a tattoo is a good example of this.

she realizes that a long-held opinion she had is actually kind of bullshit, and that she cared way too much about it for no reason. good job, vriska!

but then she pretty much leaves the actual decision of it up to meenah! she asks meenah to tell her what to do instead of thinking for herself. she justifies it by agreeing that she loves pirate stuff anyway! shes trying to make up for a lifetime of bossing people around by asking someone else to boss her around. and she convinces herself that this is making her happy! and i mean it definitely is, in a way. it feels good to feel liked by someone. to have the approval of someone you look up to. it is making her happy. but is that... good for her? i dont know! it doesn't feel good to me.

this stuff is hitting me extremely close to home on this reread because i like JUST came upon the revolution that i kinda did this? not to this extreme polarity, but it still resonates.

i was (kind of am still, it's in my nature) a very bossy and controlling person, and i lost an entire circle of friends because they were rightfully tired of me telling them what to do and being so self-righteous all the time. so when trying to make new friends after that, i turned on people-pleaser mode. and i'm kind of still stuck there and trying to strike a balance between being a doormat people-pleaser and being a huge bitch that wants everyone to behave how *i* want them to. it is a hard balance to strike. its hard knowing when i should stand up and say something and when i should let something go, so most often i let things go. and OFTENTIMES i live to regret it. "i should have said something" is something i've been finding myself thinking A LOT in recent months...

and its tricky, because it feels good when people i respect say they approve of me. i feel happy that someone likes me. but sometimes that has come at the cost of sacrificing parts of myself. and it can feel good in the moment, to feel connected to someone like that, but then one day you wake up full of dread because you dont know who the fuck you are anymore. (vriska) didn't really ever get to that point, or, she never voiced it. vriska points out that shes become an entirely different person, but she does it in a way that uhhh fucking sucks lol! and is not helpful, because vriska's not exactly doing great, herself! she shows off her hypocrisy DELICIOUSLY in this scene.

she calls (vriska) selfish for.... being dead, essentially. and she justifies all her own selfish actions with it being "for the greater good," just as she always has. this is par for the course with vriska

^ i looooove this part right here where she sidesteps the fact that she did in fact plan to go fight jack but john punched her in the face to stop her. "different shit happened!" (i actually made the exact same decisions as you, but an outside force changed things and now i feel superior to you because i got a serendipitous opportunity that you didnt)

this whole conversation hits hard with me. it literally sounds similar to conversations ive had with myself! it's hard to not want to side with (vriska) i mean she does feel like the more reasonable one in this conversation and has had more time to think and reflect on herself, and vriska is being a fucking asshole about it, but like, i don't think either of them is exactly Right?

like, vriska has a bit of a point that (vriska) doesnt seem to notice that she's gone people-pleaser mode. but (vriska) thinks this is what happiness is. she despises her old self who was obsessed with inserting herself into everything and feeling the need to be The Best and prove herself as such, to catastrophic outcomes. so of course she wants to separate herself from that as much as possible and strive to become the opposite of it. someone who doesnt care about shit, and who lets other people make decisions for her instead of her making the decisions for everyone against their will. i think (vriska) was on the right track, but just couldn't really... Get There without the right support. and meenah was definitely not the right support.

but anyways like. vriska yelling at (vriska) at how disgusted she is with her is so sickeningly similar to me, looking back and realizing that i used to like.. stand up for myself more. if someone said some shit i didnt like i TOLD them i had a problem. i didn't let people push me around. and i think god, what happened to me? i became a weak loser that bends to peoples idea of what i should be instead of being myself. am i really happy?

but its not like i was better off before, either. vriska still isn't right. yeah i didnt let people boss me around, because i bossed THEM around. when i told people i had a problem with them i was MEAN about it. i said rude shit unnecessarily. i made everything about me and didn't care about what other people thought.

my past self and my "current" self (maybe like, my 'a few months ago self' i like to think im working through it but im still having trouble lol) are disgusted with each other. im disgusted that i used to straight up bully people all the time, and past me is disgusted that i seemed to have stopped having convictions, that i let other people decide who i should be, etc.

neither of them are really happy, but (vriska) sure seems a lot kinder, at least. she's made progress, but in a way that benefits other people more than it does herself.

also i love vriska saying "what happened to not letting shit get to you because you always knew you were better than the one slinging it" that is such utter bullshit. she is ALWAYS letting stuff get to her. all of her god damn actions are because she lets stuff get to her. everything she does is to prove herself. the cycle of revenge shit?? yeah totally didn't let it get to you. thats why you killed aradia and blinded terezi. because you were just so totally better than them and not letting it get to you. this stuff:

yeah. letting it roll off your back. lol

anyways back to meenah and (vriska)

meenah recognizes this vulnerability in (vriska) and it scares her. she does the whole "im abandoning you... for your own good..." thing, which... sucks! as you said, this whole situation just fucken sucks, man.

(vriska) basically admits that at this point, without meenah, she's lost. she let meenah mold her into what she wanted, and to lose her would be to lose herself.

but i mean i don't think there was another way this could've gone. (vriska) was essentially meenah's rebound after aranea (and vriska is her rebound after (vriska) lol) and it's just.. ALL bad. its just... everyone here has such deep personal issues that they cant help but let effect each other, yknow? meenah realizes that her issues are effecting (vriska) and thinks that removing herself from the situation is best. maybe it is? it turns out okay for (vriska) in the end, at least. as "okay" as she can possibly get, i guess.

i don't know. there's a lot here! it all just hurts and sucks. teens, man. how it is.

this is just my (very personal, frankly) interpretation of the events, idk. i think i said a lot here without actually saying anything all that substantial, as i feel like i tend to do. i just resonate with vriska really hard, what and you gave me an opportunity to ramble about it lol

[tfdtreasurer]

<3 erinep!!

i have no real reason for liking it as much as i do, maybe im just weird ?

Not weird at all anon!

You say you have no reason but I can think of plenty. Erinep is one of those ships that I'm shocked isn't more popular. In many ways, they have an interesting dynamic that makes for good storytelling.

They're both trolls kind of known for their unrequited crushes, so it makes intuitive narrative sense to have them get over it through each other. Nepeta's flaw is that she lacks the courage to make romantic advances out of fear of failure. Eridan's flaw is that she makes romantic advances with the expectation of failure and thus creates self fulfilling prophesies of rejection.

Eridan is so weird...

It's their flaws that led to the canonical obstacle to them as a ship, the fact that they have gotten off to a rocky start romantically. Eridan having gossiped with Karkat, is aware that Nepeta has feelings for somebody else, but in true Eridan fashion, attempts to ask her out anyways. Nepeta thus diagnoses her as a creep and insincere. Considering that my own interpretation of Eridan is based on insincerity and how weird Alternian society makes you, yeah I'd call that fair. Creep is certainly strong language that would suggest little chance for romance developing but lets not forget whose Nepeta's moirail is, and what she calls him in her own words. She's well aware that hemospectrum hangups lead people to be way weirder than they really would be, and as one of the most compassionate trolls, she's probably sympathetic to that. It is in the same conversation that you get her calling Eridan insincere that you get her feeling bad that she died. Because Nepeta is just that nice.

Getting over it

That being said, they still both require some character development to make the ship work, which from a storytelling perspective, is good. They don't need to be each other's moirails or anything, I approve of Meowrails and would not want to disrupt that, so other characters can help drive their development instead (*Cough cough,* Kanaya, but this is the erinep post). Nepeta has two main paths: giving up passively and not asking Karkat, or ripping the band-aid off and asking him out. The second option is in my mind the best for character development as it provides closure. However, there's also a parallel narrative decision to be made: does Eridan tell her what will happen, since she knows, or will she let Nepeta ask Karkat out anyways. I'm a complicated girl and so I think the third and most emotionally complicated option is the best: have Eridan encourage her to ask Karkat out. It's in keeping with Eridan's approach to Kanaya's crush on Vriska, and isn't necessarily mutually exclusive with Eridan telling her what will happen. They can have a conversation where she warns Nepeta what happened with her, the emotions she felt, but also recognize the necessity of asking anyways. It'd be a good moment for Eridan's character to develop too, recontextualizing for herself her rejection by Feferi. And bam, voila, hey presto, you've got them both taking their first stepping stone of emotional maturity together. From adversity, progress.

Feferi's #1 hater propaganda

If you see this blog you should know that I'm Feferi's #1 hater, and so Eridan perhaps being honest with somebody would lead to her revealing why she was such a desperate loser in past (the breakup+rejection combo leading to messy pinball-like attempt at rebounding). And while getting over the flush crush is required for both of them, I believe Nepeta would be kind of shocked at the nature of Eridan's moirallegience. What do you mean she just started calling you her moirail? She didn't consult you about that? What do you mean she thought the job was over after entry? She thought weirdo behavior stops on a dime? What do you mean she knew that you didn't appreciate it and she went on with it anyways? What do you mean she expected it to be a two way street? Me and my healthy moirail were always super clear about being moirails, and of course I stuck with him after entry. The gig with my own weirdo is practically full time, but you do it because your genuine feelings for the person. I did it because my efforts were appreciated by someone that recognized their issues as issues and wanted me to be their moirail. Hell, if you're going to change canonical events that allow all noncanonical shipping to happen, you might as well give Nepeta one successful "shipping moment" (the irony is not lost on me, shut up) by letting her matchmake Eridan with a moirail that would care about her (*COUGH. COUGH.* kan, but like also while I don't care about the recent pale erikar trend, that could be hella character moment for Nepeta to make that call).

Hunters

If your interpretation of Eridan emphasizes her brief environmental commentary, the fact that Nepeta lives fairly detached from industrialized society makes how they relate to each other interesting. Nepeta is if anything characterized as being very not wasteful, and in her own words: "i dont kill anything i dont eat, that would be mean." This stands in direct contrast with Eridan who has resigned to how her occupation may be infinitely necessary and entirely justified, but is distinctly evil in purpose and function. It helps that although orphaning doesn't appear especially wasteful (the whole whale does get eaten), it draws on historical industrial whaling which was infamously wasteful. There's something very interesting there between, again, the most compassionate troll hunting for herself, and the orphaner hunting for somebody else. It would be an emotionally complicated mix of sympathy and disgust, made part tragic by the fact that Eridan transparently expects the disgust, but would be absolutely flabbergasted by sympathy. It continues the cute but somewhat tumultuous path that I think characterizes some of the best love stories.

Extra

There's also a few other little things that can tie them together and make good stories out of their ship.

If you see Equius' overprotectiveness of Nepeta as a significant flaw, he can be given development by Nepeta properly dunking on Eridan during a low stakes lover's spat. Proving that although she may have not played FLARP with the rest of the "dangerous" trolls, she's no less capable of handling herself. You can play it for comedy as it's always fun to see Eridan dunked on, and Nepeta could ride her around by the horns like a Left for Dead jockey as Equius looks on proudly. For anti sea dweller reasons maybe? We'll keep working on it, Equius.

Speaking of FLARP, they're both RP dorks. Common on alternia so perhaps nothing really special, but the distinction between FLARP and RP is more significant than the distinction between LARP and RP (astonishing, I know). FLARP, an acronym which is already losing its meaning to me, is kinda psychotic and so I'm inclined to agree with Equius that it should be avoided. Nepeta toning Eridan down from FLARP+orphaning that was her hobby to a more healthy and low stakes RP would be both awkward and cute. Plus it can serve as a character moment for Eridan where the orphaner dualscar character is retired and she can fully embrace the 🌠 wwonderful wwhimsy of wwizardry 🌠.

And sometimes it's just the silly little things that can justify a ship. Maybe the cat likes fish. Maybe the military history nerd likes trenchcoats.

IDK, erinep is just cute. Solidly approved, anon, erinep has been placed in the "works really well" tier just below GOATED tier.

Whew, yet another tantric Homestuck analysis sesh. People insane enough to have read to the end: Don't forget that hopping anonymously in the asks to suggest Eridan ships for me to spend time analyzing is entirely free.

[ashbeanss]

I’d never heard of precious jewel armor before reading your post talking about c!wilbur songs and now I’m listening to these songs and doing a thousand yard stare into the distance coping with all these emotions, GREAT artist thank you for the inadvertent recommendation!

ofc man! there are a few other dsmp musicians that i always think about: (this will be long check under the cut)

amanda fagan made some of the very first songs for a few characters, most notably her ‘take you down’ for quackity, ‘bittersweet’ for jack manifold, and ‘promises you couldn’t keep’ for niki. i will be very blunt, i do not like how she writes wilbur, and i would not recommend her wilbur songs, but ‘take you down’ is still the best written quackity song out there, and ‘bittersweet’ is incredible. do check out her work.

kanaya is a name most people have heard before but i need you all to listen to a song that is not marionettes or violence because guys. guys my god. yeah ‘i’ll let it burn’ is alright whatever have you heard ‘november 16th’? have you heard ‘us against the world’? please. i love her work. she did a collab with precious jewel amor where she wrote tommy’s song and precious wrote tubbo’s, they’re both great. ‘little hero’ is gorgeous. if i don’t think about ‘no reprise’ it can’t hurt me.

kroh made the ranboo song of all time and i will forever be greatful for that. go listen to ‘typical me’, amazing song, ‘hush’ is cool too. oh yeah kroh also made ‘mr bones’. i guess. but who gives a shit about ‘mr bones’ when ‘typical me’ is so good, you have to believe me. ‘home’ is also really good and way more underrated than ‘typical me’ so you should listen to it as well, more even.

candlebard only made two dream smp songs. and one of them is a dream song. that i haven’t listened to. but i would be fucking wrong if i didn’t tell you about ‘disappear’. oh my god ‘disappear’. i could write essays on this song. i love it so much. it is the c!wilbur song of all time, nothing will ever get him like ‘disappear’. it has everything, seasonal metaphors, an empathetic perspective on wilbur’s fall into destruction, incredible music. that’s all you need to make me happy really. this song has less than 200k views and that’s a crime. go listen to it please.

cjack, like candlebard, only made two dream smp songs, and i have only listened to one of them, but i physically couldn’t not bring up ‘phantom feelings’. it’s so important to me. no ghostbur song is like ‘phantom feelings’ i’m telling you. go listen to it, every other ghostbur song will be ruined for you forever. you will never be able to appreciate ‘blue’ by derivakat again because you will know there is better. and you have heard it.

hatorbee is a musician i’ve literally never seen anybody talk about but i needed to bring them up because they’ve made? so many songs? and to be very frank with you, are they all great? no. like musically some of these songs are not the best, but fuck damnit they should write poetry. also they get these characters more than some songs that sound amazing so. you win some you lose some. ‘one more dance’ was a core part of my dsmp phase and also the only skephalo song i’ve ever heard and the only reason i gave a shit about them. the timing is weird, the vocal performance isn’t perfect and is mixed strangely, but you can feel the passion oozing out of it. they also made the only karlnapity song with precious jewel amor and winks, and it’s kind of incredible? i might cry? also lies in the letters is very good wilbur characterisation. i’m giving it a strong stamp of approval.

bonus: ‘the mad king wilbur’ was deleted in it’s original video form recently but the topic reupload and an animatic still exist. watch one of them, the song is incredible and gorgeous. also not fansongs but cyborg blood’s crimeboys animatics make me very emotional and you should watch them specifically their ‘by your hand’ wilbur animatic.

thanks for reading my essay. have a good day. listen to los campesinos!

[dungeonbent]

loseyns / mulled wine

The whole dried spices in the mortar seem to you rather tauntingly staring. You hold the pestle tight in hand, uncomfortably reminded of the school days spent attempting to mix alchemical ingredients in the same way, and wonder how you ended up in this situation.

You've never so much as stepped foot in a kitchen. In much of the elven Court's cooking is a dreadful lack of spice which Porrim only ever attempted to rectify with secret vials of dubiously spicy liquids.

Your name is KANAYA MARYAM, and Sir Egbert has entrusted you with the creation of an ingredient known as 'powdered douce'. Still reeling from shame from your escapades the night before and not wanting to let the poor tallman know of your previous death, you wordlessly took up the task, and now you are regretting every decision that has led to your continued lifespan.

You know that there is a grain of paradise inside the mortar. There is dried ginger and nutmeg and cinnamon. There is even a bit of sugar, but not enough to make this a sweet dish, though the way that Sir Egbert dumps flour on the other side of the table may trick you otherwise. You are not sure if there is enough paradise in this world to make the atmosphere feel any less awkward than it is right now. To compensate, you add another little peppery grain of the stuff and begin to grind.

There is a heady scent from the cauldron on the fire as Sir Egbert quietly sets about his task, making a well in the flour with practiced hands. They are the calloused hands of a baker and a seafarer- the kind of hands used to hard work and backed with muscle.

With one hand, he slowly pours a bit of water in the well and mixes with the flour. You continue scraping the wooden sides of the mortar when he asks, "Did you have fun last night?"

You startle, nearly dropping the pestle. You instead grip it tighter and beg your mouth to move. The only thing that falls out is, "I suppose." and you want to brain yourself immediately. Clearing your throat, you add, "I, ah... became a little caught up in the festivities."

"That's easy to do," Sir Egbert says in a plain sort of voice, "There's a lot on offer, and plenty to drink with."

"Yes- the drinking was mostly what preoccupied me," As well as the death, but. That isn't something you can so easily bring up.

"My June was the same way," Sir Egbert says, and your stomach drops. You can't look at him. The past tense makes bile want to crawl up your throat, and you don't know how to deal with the vulnerability. You continue grinding powdered douce.

You ask in a measured voice, "Was she?"

"Mostly just during the festival- she tried to hide it most nights, but sometimes our house was the one to host her friends when no one else wanted to go home." You're afraid to see what sort of expression is on his face. You peek up to see his flour-caked fingers forming an amorphous white lump.

"I see." You say, for lack of anything better to say.

Sir Egbert says, "Sometimes, I even had to carry her to bed- just like when she was a child." You slowly look up to see Sir Egbert's face, and it's worse than what you feared. The sorrow is there, yes- the grief remains.

But the tallman smiles so gently as he kneads, working the tender memory into the dough. The resignation is what makes you want to flinch the most.

You work in silence for a while after that. You aren't good at figuring out what to say in situations like this; aren't good at comforting gestures, at putting thoughts into verbal assurance and lifting burdens that you cannot directly touch.

Over time, Sir Egbert miraculously turns his well of flour into a good dough, kneading with precise, practiced movements. The contents of your mortar are filled with a dull brown powder. You continue to grind and say, "I met a woman named Feferi, last night. And some of her friends."

"Ah, Feferi," Sir Egbert nods with approval, "She's a good kid."

"She said she... knew your daughter. And her party."

"Ah." is all Sir Egbert replies.

You try to formulate a thought beyond that, but it appears Sir Egbert has finished his dough. He places it in a well-oiled bowl, covers it, and consults a watch of dwarven make, presumably to set a time. By the time he goes over to the stove of the little kitchen to begin working on a large pot, you have forgotten what you want to say.

Eventually, Sir Egbert says, "They were a good party. Talented, well-organized- and they had been on longer trips by then."

There is a feeling of dread settling into your bones as you turn, not spotting the fellow's face. There is only the look of his back and the smoke puffing from the pipe he blows on while working on pouring a bottle of wine.

"In comparison, two months seemed like a sort of vacation. It was supposed to be the sort of trip that happened where you only fight if it's necessary. I knew she could take care of herself."

There is the smell of something citrusy as Sir Egbert swipes the blade of a knife over only the vibrant yellow rind of a lemon. You are afraid to interrupt, as this is the most candid the man has been since you arrived on the island.

"Even if she couldn't," Sir Egbert continues, "her party was dependable. They were all friends- thicker than thieves, even when they were younger." He pauses, "Or when Jade and June were younger- it's harder to gauge just how old the Lalonde siblings were when they arrived on the island. I don't have the best eye for the longer-lived races, you see,"

"Of course," You say, and crack a little smile at that. You feel the same about the shorter-lived ones- though a tallman like Sir Egbert looks to you to be about his mid 200s, you just know he would give some ridiculously low number as his true age.

Sir Egbert pours a dredge of sugar into the concoction he's brewing. "They were all strong in their own right. It should have been enough."

But it wasn't. And that sentiment hangs in the air as a dark cloud as Sir Egbert diligently cuts thin slices of orange into the pot.

You can't see Sir Egbert's face as he says, "I think something happened in the dungeon." You wonder if he also read Theras's work- if he also pored over those pages as intently as you, searching for any sign that the party she spoke of was the same that had suppered in his home.

"What makes you think that?"

But he makes no mention of it. Instead, he speaks, and what he says chills you to your core.

"I've been killed."

The silence that rings between you is so sharp that it makes the feeling of blood rushing to your ears hurt. You slowly set the pestle down in the mortar, the crack of wood on spiced-wood a lightning strike through the gloom. You remember your death. The freezing of your joints. The ghost.

"I-In the dungeon?" You ask, stupidly, because where else could Sir Egbert have been killed to be subsequently resurrected? If they'd killed him here above ground, there would be no magic to bring him back from the land of the dead.

"Every single time I've so much as stepped foot in it." Sir Egbert says. There is a puff of steam, or maybe smoke. He doesn't look at you.

But that doesn't make any sense. You read Theras's work- the upper floors aren't too terribly dangerous, if one knows what they're doing. You saw how Sir Egbert worked on the ship coming to Skaia; he does not seem to be incompetent. Perhaps his luck has seemingly dwindled, or his age has made it harder?

The frost, the ghost, the dungeon.

You don't know for sure whether Theras's party is really them. You've had your suspicions, yes, and many of the locals seem convinced that if the book is fiction, then it fictionalizes them- but it could still be a completely unrelated incident.

"Could you... tell me more about them?" You ask, faint. "The Egbert party."

And Sir Egbert does.

The details begin to slide into place as neatly as the thin noodles Sir Egbert makes of the rested dough. A party of four, made up of a tallman; her beastman cousin; a half-dwarf and a half-elf, calling themselves twins. June had been the leader of the outfit while Rose had been their battle mage and something of a researcher. Dave had been their brawler and archaeologist- Jade their scout, their cleric, another researcher.

They had wanted to reach the bottom of the dungeon, and now, it seemed, the dungeon refused to let them go.

"Dear lord- why...?" You want to ask why he's telling you all this, but that would be foolish. You asked. You shouldn't be so brazen when you ask for everything all by your pathetic little self. "If this is too much-"

"It's not." Sir Egbert says, damnably gentle. You wish he would take the sharpened edge of his tenderness and just run you through. It'd be kinder. "I just need you to know what you might be getting into."

You take a deep breath, and say, "I... had something of a sense of it." Especially now. Especially with the spectre's icy claw still lodged in your heart.

The wine has been left to stew in its own heat off to the side; the noodles left to become somewhat hard. Sir Egbert looks to you, silent. Then he bows his head and says, "Then I hope you know to prepare well for this mission of yours." And the only thing you can do is nod.

The chilled atmosphere remains somewhat even as Sir Egbert asks you to fetch a large jug of bone broth to set about the fire and bring to another boil. He cooks the newly made pasta and you both watch the squares bob up under the dark broth. Those noodles are then fished out and, strangely, the broth is not used again.

You watch with mild confusion as Sir Egbert lays the squares of cooked noodle along the bottom of two bowls. He grates a thick, soft cheese over top and asks for the powdered douce, which you provide. He sprinkles a fair amount and then repeats the process twice more, leaving both bowls with a heaping helping of melted cheese over chewy noodles and some spice.

Somewhat unsure, you ask, "What have we made, exactly...?"

Sir Egbert looks at you, bewildered. "It's elvish, though?"

"I should say not." You say flatly, too taken aback to figure out how else to emote.

"Really? It's called loseyns," Sir Egbert says. "Are you positive?"

"I should hope so, considering," You gesture to the length of your ears.

Sir Egbert scratches at his perfectly clean-shaven chin. "Strange. It's been all the rage in Lo'Oat these days..."

You are also served a mug of wine with some kind of spicy kick to it. It pairs surprisingly well with the noodles, which taste much like what they are- warm noodles slathered in cheese with some spice and a little sugar.

It's not bad, but it is warming. You ask why it's become so popular, though. You don't understand it. Then Sir Egbert says, "Well, a traveler coming from the western lands had said that during the Elf Queen's birthday banquet, this had been served and eaten with long sticks. If it was good enough for the Queen, then..."

"Hold on," You say, a noodle falling off the thin wooden skewer that he had handed you to eat this with for some reason, "are you talking about lasagna?"

"No- loseyns," Sir Egbert says, a serious, business-like look on his face. "That's what all the locals are calling it."

"No- it's- it's supposed to have meat," You say, struggling to explain, "but ground rather fine, with herbs. It's actually better than most food, and-"

"Ah! But look," Sir Egbert says, pointing at your plate, "it does have meat."

You're about to argue that blatant lie when you look down and what the fuck that's actually a lasagna now. Where did the loseyns you just spent the last hour making go?

Sir Egbert looks as unflappable as always, but you see him conspicuously hiding a tray of what can only be an actual lasagna on the counter behind the mulled wine. You have no idea what the point of this entire exchange was, but have the strange feeling that you have been duped for some unknown and arcane purpose.

By the end of the meal, you've learned that the two dishes really are interchangeable here in most peoples' eyes, and you're also both laughing and making polite merry. You think that tomorrow, when you enjoy the third day of the festival, things will start to look up.

This doesn't stop you from dreaming that night.

While night falls and the echo of revelry slips in, you cannot stop dreaming of frozen bodies locked within unforgiving walls of stone and brass, hands stretched toward a green sun.

( Click here for the loseyns recipe | Click here for the mulled wine )

[homestuck-fanauthor-coalition]

@jellysmudge

“Do you have your sword on you?” Dirk, dressed in garb reminiscent of the Derse military uniforms, often asked his brother. They spoke often, and often their conversations came down to this one question. “Yes,” Dave would always answer, because he wasn’t stupid. He knew he needed to be armed as much as he possibly could be, as often as he could be. There were eyes everywhere, and hands with knives and poisons everywhere else. “Good,” Dirk told his brother with an approving nod. Even if he wasn’t there all the time, and even if Dave had always hated being drilled over and over again on what to do if something went wrong. At least, with a sword at his baby brother’s hip, he could sleep at night. Or not.

Chapters: 1/?

Rating: Not Rated

Archive Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Fandom: Homestuck

Relationships: Dave Strider & Dirk Strider; Roxy Lalonde & Dirk Strider; Rose Lalonde & Dave Strider; Rose Lalonde & Dirk Strider; Roxy Lalonde & Dave Strider; Jake English & Dirk Strider; Jane Crocker & Jake English; Jane Crocker & Jake English & Roxy Lalonde & Dirk Strider; John Egbert & Jade Harley & Rose Lalonde & Dave Strider; Jake English & Jade Harley; Jane Crocker & Dirk Strider; Nepeta Leijon & Equius Zahhak; Dave Strider & Equius Zahhak; Rose Lalonde/Kanaya Maryam

Characters: Dirk Strider; Dave Strider; Roxy Lalonde; Rose Lalonde; John Egbert; Jade Harley; Jane Crocker; Jake English; Terezi Pyrope; Equius Zahhak; Nepeta Leijon; Meulin Leijon; Damara Megido; Dave's Bro | Beta Dirk Strider; Rose's Mom | Beta Roxy Lalonde; Kanaya Maryam; Eridan Ampora; Orphaner Dualscar; Darkleer (Homestuck)

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Derse/Prospit Royalty; Alternate Universe - Fantasy; Alternate Universe - Royalty; Family Drama; Strilondes; Family Fluff; Family Feels; Dysfunctional Family; Politics; Prince Dirk Strider; Dirk Strider-centric; Aromantic Jake English; Aroace Jake English; One-Sided Jake English/Dirk Strider; Dirk Strider’s Cringefail Romantic Past; Sleepwalking; Alternate Universe - Magic; Possession; Aftermath of Possession; Lil Cal Being Awful; this is a rewrite yahoooo; Dave hero worships dirk but its alright because im going to fix that; so sorry kid; Hero Worship; Brotherly Bonding; Brother-Sister Relationships; Eventual Happy Ending; kind of! They will be content and happy if thats the last thing i do

Welcome to the Coalition, newcomer! It’s great to have you

[abundantchewtoys]

HS^2 re: p534-576

Woof (pun not intended), it's a doozy, this one.

Jade as doting mother was hilariously embarassing. But it seems her reasons to have a child in the first place stem from her intense loneliness, exacerbated by her celebrity status.

Meanwhile, Rose's motivation to carry the child... There's two ways to interpret it. The least complimentary is that she's just as manipulative as Dirk, using her powers to 'okay' a disgraceful decision because she'll be forgiven in the end anyway. I hope she actually wanted to see if she could do something her powers couldn't predict the outcome of. It would mean she's aware of the Candy timeline's nature of decreasing truthfulness, relevance and necessity and is trying to do something about it. The fact that she's so dismissive about Earth C's people, as is Jade, could point in that direction.

In fact, it would seem that, for all that the Candy timeline appeared to be a 'saccharine end state' for most of the kids, they do seem to be aware that even beyond the totalitarian government, there's something else fundamentally wrong with the timeline?

Meanwhlie, Yiffany not talking is so funny when you think about it. Even while we're being her, she's just too cool to lower herself to such base characterizational devices.

Would be funny if she's treated as the teen version of hypothetical older Maggie Simpson of Beyond Canon. Implied to be witty & talkative but never shown. :p

What else? So, uh, Tavros & Yiffany are acquainted, and Yiffy probably got locked up/kept hidden in Tavros' house when she was away from boarding school. Like a perverse Rapunzel. Making Tavros not just her biological uncle but also foster brother, oh jeez. So, uh, it might also mean her enmity with Gamzee's corpse stemmed from actual, in-person interactions with the clown.

Meenah's probably calling to let Rose & Kanaya know that Jane's coming to the meteor too.

So, the Point. I'm assuming it's to do with the device behind the curtain, beneath the meteor.

Spitballing & exchanging theories with Blaperile, I'm assuming it's a way for the Candy people to travel into the Meat timeline.

I wouldn't like it to be one way, for one thing because some people might not want to leave. For another, what would The Influencers even be able to do?

It could be a Sburb copy for the new kids to boot a session with & interact with the Deltritus gang?

Would be funny to have a sort of Hivebent situation going on with 2 separate teams turning out to be entering the same session.

If it's a giant version of the Hiveswap device, maybe the Candy & Meat timeline meteors get swapped (a literal swapping of hives).

Then maybe Candy Earth C with the Meat meteor turns out to be Alternate Calliope's home timeline, and the reverse for Caliborn/Lord English?

It would seem Jade was carrying around a stuffed corpse in her sylladex! Of course Adult Dave (now Davebot) is the most likely person. It could lead to Davebot exploding if his corpse is ever prototyped! But then we'd have a new version of Davesprite...

If it were Candy Dirk, we'd get Dirksprite: aka Arquiusprite minus Equius minus autoresponder.

With how Rose's mom got touched on in the argument, what if Jade had stuffed Mom and Dad? As Blaperile pointed out to me, while John & Jade had a funeral for them pre-retcon, we don't know that they did post-retcon, do we?

No chance for a Johnsprite beyond Terezi prototyping Meat John, though! Would've been funny to have Johnsprite^2 or *2. But unless Jade took John's original body (from his quest bed) from LOWAS before it exploded, we won't have that. As she never found the bodies for John & Davesprite in her timeline.

(Yeah I'm just grasping at straws to get a POV & further fleshing out for Dad, can't help it.)

As for the newspost, turns out I missed the one from Feb 1st. Wow, Vast Error has gotten the Hussie stamp of approval and now falls under the HICU protection and can monetize on their work!

I haven't read it yet, but I know from experience how engaging fanventures can be, so good for them!

And oh geez, so much unvaulted commentary to read on Patreon. :B

[thewertsearch]

Anonymous asked: hussies commentary actually implies that eridan was already planning on destroying the matriorb: ‘ Eridan says he has to "help Kanaya out with this thing" but doesn't actually say what he means by that. There are a bunch of little ambiguities like this leading up to what happens next, disguising his sinister intent. Or maybe hinting at it, if you have keen senses. We are merely pages away from Eridan fully embracing his role as the incel murderboy he was always meant to be.’ @lipstickchainsaw asked: I always interpreted Eridan offering to 'help' with the Matriorb to be this, honestly. @krixwell asked: Eridan didn't exactly commit to helping with the Matriorb, did he? I believe his words were "I demand to be invvolvved." He certainly invvolvved himself. Anonymous asked: Consider that Kanaya’s Chastity Modus only allowed her to find the key to withdraw the matriorb… in time for Eridan to decide to destroy it. Combine that with Eridan offering help because the task sounded “hopeful”, and that he subsequently declared to the others that there was “no hope left” before literally “Hopesplode”-ing the matriorb, maybe he intended to destroy it all along to fulfill his old genocidal ambitions. And that it was DESTINED to be destroyed, of all things…

It's true that his prior statements can be interpreted in this manner - but if this was his plan all along, it's still idiotic. He wanted to kill the lowbloods, but destroying the orb ensures that all trolls will go extinct, his caste included.

I'm not sure I buy Hussie's assertion that this twist was foreshadowed, either. Sure, his lines were ambiguous in retrospect, but you certainly couldn't have predicted his next move from them. He certainly did have murderboy vibes, but his decision to destroy the Matriorb, specifically, still feels like it came out of the blue.

Like, what was the point? Why end your whole race on a whim? Did you want to wipe out the highbloods? If so, why?

Anonymous asked: HOPESPLODE! what a sound effect. for a guy who's supposed to be all about hope he certainly seems to have taken a pretty intense stand Against hope, broadly, going so far as to actively destroy the Hope of a future for trolls as a species. i think eridan spending the whole session killing all the angels on his planet goes along with this, if you think about the angels as the decidedly Hopey part of his land title. he was killing hope then and he's killing hope now. actively refusing his aspect. @gamblingenderman asked: In response to you seeing Eridan being very stupid, I'd like to know what your theories are on his role as Prince of Hope.

Well, he's a Prince, which implies that he's supposed to command or control his Aspect in some way. Maybe his instincts were telling him that Kanaya's mission of hope was his birthright, and he needed to commandeer it for himself.

If any Class would feel a particularly strong sense of 'ownership' over their Aspect, it would be the Prince. Maybe he just didn't think Kanaya's hope for the Matriorb was one he would approve of, so he needed to stop it at any cost.

[grub-garden]

Troll Types Sorted By  Maintenance Level

Low Maintenance 

Feferies*: caretakers by nature, they love to help around the home and tend to catch and care for any small animals that cross their paths, the only thing you really need to watch out for is their willingness to abduct outdoor pets in order to care for them, this behavior is mostly seen in Feferies who don’t have enough to do at home so it’s important to keep their swimming areas full of fishy friends, and enriching toys, as well as to change out the decorations fairly regularly.

Aradias: there are two variants of Aradia, white eyed and orange eyed. the orange eyed variant will be discussed here. Orange eyed Aradias are cheerfully morbid psychics, they will often tell you about the things their ghost friends have told them. Orange eyed Aradias also require digging space and things to find in the dirt.

Kanayas: require a constant source of their crafting material of choice many prefer sewing but not every troll in a group is the exact same so make sure to try new things with Kanayas so they can find their passions.  Kanayas also have an aptitude and propensity for chainsaws so be aware of that.  Additionally kanayas socialize very uniquely so it’s important to give them the space they need and not force them into anything too fast.

Tavroses: incredibly sensitive and prone to peer pressure. they have potential and the will to carry anything through if not presented anyone who tells them not to.  with a Tavros it’s important to help them stand their ground and trust their own judgement. they are prone to hip/knee issues as well so keep an eye on that. [also they require wide doorways]

Average Maintenance

Karkats: Karkats are very loud and require constant attention which they will complain about the entire time. If you want to adopt a Karkat you need to have a thick skin as this group can vocalize but oddly enough the ability seems inexplicably limited to insulting their caretakers.  They also enjoy movies more than any other troll group what kind of movies a Karkat prefers goes by a case by case basis so provide a wide variety to see what they like most.

Solluxes:  Their mood swings make these trolls a bit unpredictable, one week may be full of quiet gaming and happy coding while the next they’re full of manic energy and shredding their personal space. Additionally, they get migraines rather frequently and may very well predict the imminent death of your loved ones. Solluxes require patience and understanding but make for great company in a lonely home.  

Equiuii: They can shatter buildings with a flick of their little finger but they are desperate for approval. they don’t like hanging out with those they deem ‘lesser’ so when raising an Equius a progressive and inclusive mindset is required.  Milk is something the average Equius will want en mass so be sure to have a fridge properly stocked at all times.  as well as some tinker-toys and metal puzzles as Equii love to build little devices and solve simple puzzles.

Terezies: These trolls will lick/sniff anything and everything as that is how they see, so using Terezi safe cleaning supplies is a must. cleaning thoroughly and often are also ideal so as to keep them from getting sick from licking germs.  Terezies love rules but more than that they love mysteries [despite having major conformation bias and not being very good at them] so rounds of clue/other mystery games will be frequent with a Terezi in the house.  Terezies also have a tendency to become highly dependent on others so it’s important to foster a sense of self sufficiency when raising Terezies to limit the negative outcomes this could cause.

Aradias: White eyed Aradias are much less sensitive than their orange eyed counterparts. While deadpan, apathetic and monotone almost all the time, it’s important to check up on Aradias as they have trouble expressing distaste with anything. soft beds, good food, and nice company in moderate amounts are enough to keep white eyed Aradias from showing physical signs of stress but in order for them to be content caretakers need to work on an individual basis with them.

High Maintenance

Nepetas: These trolls have an insane hunting drive. Nepetas see animals up to three times their size as prey and will attack if not raised/enriched properly. However they are incredibly adorable and this often results in reckless black market adoption. Toys and shredable boxes with food inside are a must for any house with a Nepeta. They require scratching posts and often do well to have therapy cats. Nepetas also have a tendency to draw on the walls, as well as be heavily invested in the romantic pursuits of their caretakers.

Gamzees: Gamzees like to climb into tunnels, tubes, and ventilation shafts of all kinds weather easily accessible or not they will also climb/paint your walls regularly weather provided paint or not.  Gamzees do not do well when their beliefs are challenged and are prone to violent outbursts when such challenges occur.  they love to snuggle and hate to be alone, separation anxiety is a challenge most every Gamzee and their caretaker will have to overcome/adapt to.  they enjoy juggling clubs and circus/fair paraphernalia and some Gamzees emanate constant carnival music with no off switch. [also be aware many Gamzee caretakers experience clown based nightmares]

Eridans*: extremely aggressive towards other trolls, Eridans also require designer brand everything or they will break out into hives from ‘the poor’. they are extremely sensitive, and don’t deal with rejection well so when raising an Eridan it’s important to provide a consistent, supportive, and lavish environment.  Additionally, Eridans have fairly poor above water eyesight and require unique prescription glasses so be sure to take them to a troll ophthalmologist as soon as they leave the grub stage so they can see properly

Vriskas: insanely lucky but that luck applies to her own interests alone and will not help you.  Vriskas need constant attention and frequent praise. Vriskas have the ability to put humans to sleep instantly so they pair well with insomniacs.  It is however important to meet them on their level and indulge their ‘mind games‘ without that they quickly become bored and seek ways to undermine the rules.  They enjoy playing with other trolls, but Vriskas also have a tendency to randomly attack their playmates so it’s important to keep and eye on them.

*Sea-dwellers are illegal to own in parts of the world with an average outdoor humidity of less than 60% and their homes must provide ample swimming space and be kept at at least 80% humidity.  ANY LOWER AND YOUR SEA-DWELLER’S GILLS WILL DRY OUT AND THEY WILL SUFFOCATE/SUFFER OXYGEN DEPRIVATION. THIS COMES WITH SERIOUS MEDICAL REPERCUSSIONS FOR THE TROLL AND LEGAL REPERCUSSIONS FOR THE NEGLECTFUL CARETAKER

[davekat-sucks]

"homestuck fans when they see men: i want him to get me pregnant"

wtf which men are we talking about? they are just seen as goofballs at best or hated at worst. ive only ever seen fans fawning over dave, and even then only the imaginary uwu sad softboy they have in their heads or to ship him with karkat. speaking of which, i think a more popular mindset is that some people want to get karkat pregnant, not the other way around lol

ive also never seen anyone talk shit about any of the women except for vriska (fair) or jade/jane/feferi (unfair as fuck, and mainly because they get in the way of davekat/dirkjake/erisol or their characters were bastardized in the sequel). also ive seen more HIC thirst than hate so...

ill use this as opportunity to say that, besides vriska, porrim has the most delusional and actually sexist fans ever. they dont see how the male approved "feminist" has no personality or interests beyond fashion, her sex life, taking care of a man, and complaining about an imaginary patriarchy when her planet is literally a matriarchy and gender roles in a bisexual society where roles are given according to blood caste.

I'm guessing the other anon mean 4chan for male fans. True. Nobody imagines Karkat as top. Even if his ship name is front of something like KatNep, he's still a bottom bitch. That's why most of his ship names end with -kat. That's how much of a pussy he is. Eridan is more of an alpha than he is in that regard. All it matters to fans of Porrim is that she is lesbian like Kanaya. That's even why even nu-fans of Kanaya like her just for that. Nothing about things like moving on from loving bad people like Vriska, relying on herself to take action, or finding better trust in people like Karkat compared to Eridan. It's all about being that hot lesbian gal. She can't even be called the Mom Friend anymore, because having that label means you are suddenly an adult now and it's pedophilia if is you ship someone who is the Mom Friend. Name one fan that remembers Kanaya has an interest in GARDENING. The same hobby as Jade. The only thing that makes it questionable from Porrim is that this is the same caste that the Ancestor Feferi rules over, where all blood caste are supposedly equal or treated the same way. I'm not sure what would Feferi's stance on gender equalities would be. I'm guessing even with the equality still in placed, there's still underlying racism and sexism still around. Perhaps the fact most Jadebloods are female, there is probably still some sexism from other caste who sees Jadebloods reproducing one specific gender compared to other blood colors that have a somewhat balanced in birth rates for both male and female.

[kanayatherainbowdrinker]

hiiiiiiii kanaya

--grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began trolling turntechCullhead [TC]-- GA: Hello There Kiddo GA: It Seems Youre Being Rather Silly GA: I Certainly Approve Of Such Activities GA: ... GA: I Hope The Weekends Treated You Quite Nicely Too --grimAuxiliatrix [GA] ceased trolling turntechCullhead [TC]--

[rosemary-is-in-pesterquest]

big believer of kanaya rbf and like stoic outwardly but like also still anxious as hell she will just say the most embarassing shit and then like want to die on the spot but like because she looks serious and kind of intimidating everyone will just take her seriously and be like. What. projecting because we are both autistic real and emoting is hard…. but bc strilondes also have the emoting issue they relate to each other … love (autism) wins! how do we feel rosemary lord

I APPROVE