#enviousennui

[beescake]

Shenanigans you say? I'm more than prepared :D

hell. fucking. yes

[fefairys]

I just read up to the breakup with Meenah and Vriska and fuck, i really dislike that whole situation. Got any thoughts you wanna ramble about regarding that?

OKAY I FINALLY GOT HERE IN MY REREAD.

god yes everything involving meenah and (vriska) and the vriska (vriska) confrontation is extremely fascinating to me. mostly because i resonate with a lot of it so hard it hurts. long ass post below. i got very personal lol what can i say. i vriska.

(vriska) goes into people-pleasing mode when she and meenah are alone. it actually reminds me of how she would sometimes act with kanaya. the vulnerability, mainly. but like. its a little different. with kanaya it was more like 'youre the only bitch around here i respect, but im still better than everyone else. i want you to like me but i dont NEED you to! (<-lie)' but with meenah its like 'you are the only person i have and so i have to be good for you so you dont leave me.'

she backs down super easily with meenah. sometimes she does argue for herself, but ultimately she always ends up deferring to meenah. she wants to agree with everything she says. wants her to like her:

^ she doesnt want to say the carnival looks fun until she's gotten meenah's approval. she has to be cool for meenah.

her suggestion gets shot down and she immediately sides with meenah. oh yeah i didnt want to do that anyway in fact i hate horses!

it's tricky, because of some of it seems like actual Character Development, and her getting over some shit. and i definitely think these thinks dont have to be mutually exclusive. she can be realizing things about herself and moving on from them while at the same time falling into habits that are equally unhealthy for a person.

she realizes she used to care way too much about stuff and tries to counter it by not caring at all. she realizes she used to push people around to much and counters it by becoming a pushover herself. this is sickeningly relatable to me.

the scene where meenah convinces her to get a tattoo is a good example of this.

she realizes that a long-held opinion she had is actually kind of bullshit, and that she cared way too much about it for no reason. good job, vriska!

but then she pretty much leaves the actual decision of it up to meenah! she asks meenah to tell her what to do instead of thinking for herself. she justifies it by agreeing that she loves pirate stuff anyway! shes trying to make up for a lifetime of bossing people around by asking someone else to boss her around. and she convinces herself that this is making her happy! and i mean it definitely is, in a way. it feels good to feel liked by someone. to have the approval of someone you look up to. it is making her happy. but is that... good for her? i dont know! it doesn't feel good to me.

this stuff is hitting me extremely close to home on this reread because i like JUST came upon the revolution that i kinda did this? not to this extreme polarity, but it still resonates.

i was (kind of am still, it's in my nature) a very bossy and controlling person, and i lost an entire circle of friends because they were rightfully tired of me telling them what to do and being so self-righteous all the time. so when trying to make new friends after that, i turned on people-pleaser mode. and i'm kind of still stuck there and trying to strike a balance between being a doormat people-pleaser and being a huge bitch that wants everyone to behave how *i* want them to. it is a hard balance to strike. its hard knowing when i should stand up and say something and when i should let something go, so most often i let things go. and OFTENTIMES i live to regret it. "i should have said something" is something i've been finding myself thinking A LOT in recent months...

and its tricky, because it feels good when people i respect say they approve of me. i feel happy that someone likes me. but sometimes that has come at the cost of sacrificing parts of myself. and it can feel good in the moment, to feel connected to someone like that, but then one day you wake up full of dread because you dont know who the fuck you are anymore. (vriska) didn't really ever get to that point, or, she never voiced it. vriska points out that shes become an entirely different person, but she does it in a way that uhhh fucking sucks lol! and is not helpful, because vriska's not exactly doing great, herself! she shows off her hypocrisy DELICIOUSLY in this scene.

she calls (vriska) selfish for.... being dead, essentially. and she justifies all her own selfish actions with it being "for the greater good," just as she always has. this is par for the course with vriska

^ i looooove this part right here where she sidesteps the fact that she did in fact plan to go fight jack but john punched her in the face to stop her. "different shit happened!" (i actually made the exact same decisions as you, but an outside force changed things and now i feel superior to you because i got a serendipitous opportunity that you didnt)

this whole conversation hits hard with me. it literally sounds similar to conversations ive had with myself! it's hard to not want to side with (vriska) i mean she does feel like the more reasonable one in this conversation and has had more time to think and reflect on herself, and vriska is being a fucking asshole about it, but like, i don't think either of them is exactly Right?

like, vriska has a bit of a point that (vriska) doesnt seem to notice that she's gone people-pleaser mode. but (vriska) thinks this is what happiness is. she despises her old self who was obsessed with inserting herself into everything and feeling the need to be The Best and prove herself as such, to catastrophic outcomes. so of course she wants to separate herself from that as much as possible and strive to become the opposite of it. someone who doesnt care about shit, and who lets other people make decisions for her instead of her making the decisions for everyone against their will. i think (vriska) was on the right track, but just couldn't really... Get There without the right support. and meenah was definitely not the right support.

but anyways like. vriska yelling at (vriska) at how disgusted she is with her is so sickeningly similar to me, looking back and realizing that i used to like.. stand up for myself more. if someone said some shit i didnt like i TOLD them i had a problem. i didn't let people push me around. and i think god, what happened to me? i became a weak loser that bends to peoples idea of what i should be instead of being myself. am i really happy?

but its not like i was better off before, either. vriska still isn't right. yeah i didnt let people boss me around, because i bossed THEM around. when i told people i had a problem with them i was MEAN about it. i said rude shit unnecessarily. i made everything about me and didn't care about what other people thought.

my past self and my "current" self (maybe like, my 'a few months ago self' i like to think im working through it but im still having trouble lol) are disgusted with each other. im disgusted that i used to straight up bully people all the time, and past me is disgusted that i seemed to have stopped having convictions, that i let other people decide who i should be, etc.

neither of them are really happy, but (vriska) sure seems a lot kinder, at least. she's made progress, but in a way that benefits other people more than it does herself.

also i love vriska saying "what happened to not letting shit get to you because you always knew you were better than the one slinging it" that is such utter bullshit. she is ALWAYS letting stuff get to her. all of her god damn actions are because she lets stuff get to her. everything she does is to prove herself. the cycle of revenge shit?? yeah totally didn't let it get to you. thats why you killed aradia and blinded terezi. because you were just so totally better than them and not letting it get to you. this stuff:

yeah. letting it roll off your back. lol

anyways back to meenah and (vriska)

meenah recognizes this vulnerability in (vriska) and it scares her. she does the whole "im abandoning you... for your own good..." thing, which... sucks! as you said, this whole situation just fucken sucks, man.

(vriska) basically admits that at this point, without meenah, she's lost. she let meenah mold her into what she wanted, and to lose her would be to lose herself.

but i mean i don't think there was another way this could've gone. (vriska) was essentially meenah's rebound after aranea (and vriska is her rebound after (vriska) lol) and it's just.. ALL bad. its just... everyone here has such deep personal issues that they cant help but let effect each other, yknow? meenah realizes that her issues are effecting (vriska) and thinks that removing herself from the situation is best. maybe it is? it turns out okay for (vriska) in the end, at least. as "okay" as she can possibly get, i guess.

i don't know. there's a lot here! it all just hurts and sucks. teens, man. how it is.

this is just my (very personal, frankly) interpretation of the events, idk. i think i said a lot here without actually saying anything all that substantial, as i feel like i tend to do. i just resonate with vriska really hard, what and you gave me an opportunity to ramble about it lol

[oldhsposts]

I was talking to a friend but I'm struggling to find something I was referencing

There was a post I remember seeing of someone describing a biology?? Class they were in and somebody had a Vriska shirt on so they asked how their spidermom was or something and it ends with the vriska shirt person reacting like - :0 >:0

Do you know the one?

no, sorry :(

[ender--slime]

Only just got around to watching the fishing panel today but god both that, the puppet show and the baking bonanza last year are all so good. You and Windy did such a good job with everything, supporting the music on bandcamp asap.

Keep the awesome work going, literally haven't seen a project by you that I haven't thoroughly enjoyed ^^

thank you so so much!! i don’t know why i constantly try and one up myself with this stuff but. clearly we are doing a good job so far !!!!

yes also absolutely everyone give windy money!!!!!!! i’ll talk about my own patreon when i have something substantial on it but for now. you can buy this album!!!

[determinedorca]

Some recent doodles I've done including a commission of Gristol for @enviousennui

[calware]

here are the first four canvases from today's aggie! there are so many good drawings here... i hope tumblr doesn't compress them too much -_-!! make sure to zoom in so you can see everyone's great drawings <3

thank you to everyone who added on! if you want to post your own drawings, feel free to tag me if you want to reblog your post as well!

if you missed it or want to keep drawing, there will be another aggie with a link i'll be posting in a few minutes :)

the people i know who were involved are: @tentacledwizard, @computer-boy, @dykeygumshoe, @belovedwizard, @askinsufferableprickmod, @seaverity, @thefridgecorpse, @cringefail-clown, @felinedae, @ardentailurophile, @whatprince, @twocatsinatrenchcoat, @vriskan8or, @enviousennui, @artradio, @a-cat-in-toffee, @thewizardscurse, @pitchou8910, @rosegolddoodle252, @4lph4kidz, @muffiln, @thatneoncrisis, @outerspacetown, @localbreadenthusiast, @bunn-iiii, @chronicallyabsent, @artsy-1diot, @meteor-mp3, @captiancap, and @feengoid. i know i'm definitely missing some people so if you want to be tagged, just lmk and i'll add you!

edit: if anyone wants to see a certain drawing in a higher resolution just let me know because tumblr DID compress this a lot -_-

[gristolmalik]

Happy 3rd birthday to Psychonauts 2! This year I'm very honored to get to do a piece for the Glory for Grulovia Zine hosted by @enviousennui! Please check out the wonderful work everyone put into this, it was lovely to be apart of. I hope you all like my piece I've done.

[thatfukawagirl]

Hello.

I was persuaded into creating this account by an acquaintance. Most authors have a social media for promotion, though I never saw it as necessary. This isn't a plug for my work, just a personal space for the few that care to know about the person behind the words.

My name is Toko Fukawa, the Super Highschool Level Writing Prodegy. Though I'm sure you won't remember it. Surnames are more recognizable for authors.

Don't expect a lot from me. I'll post if I choose to. Having said that, the blog has a Q&A system so feel free to use it. I'll answer what I can.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Heya, this is an ask blog for Toko! I'll probably have some writing on occasion, though this blog is primarily for fun.

Ask blogs rely on engagement, so whilst I'll post my own stuff now and then, asks will create a more varied and active blog.

I won't do non-character posts on here, this is the only exception. My blog is @enviousennui and on there you can expect tons of reblogs with occasional pieces of fanart. (I may even create some art for this blog)

And lastly, don't take anything said on this blog to heart. It's in character. Aka, it's not real. Purely fictional.

Hope to hear from you guys soon!

[ozuzo]

For @enviousennui 🍉

[gracedreems]

my first 20 af attacks!! (they r colour coded by team! so green is seafoam and purple is stardust)

weeaboo robot by RoseHouse

Solaer Veleon [+ Iso] and Valk Archiden by @transgendersollux and @help-exe-a-horror-enthusiast respectively

Rob The Stickman Clown by CRMemeRook96

Milo by @blueberriez17

CH (Clueless Hiker/Culinary Hostess) (x2) by @enviousennui

Snosneld by @supmaww

Carlos by MothInferno

Darryl Ramirez by @www-pinkhearse

BORIS by SkyRiseStudios and ◆-neveah drikim by me!!

Debra by perpllx3d

[OC] Throckmorton by @junoeevee

moth_man_but_worse by @green-moth-man

Sprig by inkblotted-embalmer

WTNV Designs (specifically cecil) by PandaRagons

Baizan by KingOfChaos

Saher by @teeths-and-honey

✰ Melon and Cat? by @rainbowpuppet

Moss by MadRebelGaming

Alagore Sateria ♬ by Albeion

Smithy Delnap by Maya_Naise

and thats it currently!!! gonna do more l8r but im having so much fun!!!! i think im gonna focus wtnv ocs for a bit (if u have one on af hit me uppp/nf) but yh!! stay silly and happy artfighting!!!!

[sarjinpepperoni]

Artfight attack for @enviousennui of Briffin Riddleworm

Drawing in this style was so fun omg

[cartoonghosty]

ARTFIGHT PT. 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In order:

Lizzi - @sleepdeprivationitself

Loy - @sleepdeprivationitself

Pepper - Kariyahi

Veadea - @a-page-of-space

Memphi - @enviousennui

Juno - @ttsquidsquid

(ok im going to go clockwise starting with the flying blue haired girl)

Crystal - AStrangeRaccoon

Orion - AlixzZ

Penelope - MewsliBar

Bartholomew - MewsliBar

Ezra - AlixzZ

Farolf - AStrangeRaccoon

Audra - ThatSwampCryptid

Ozzie - adamantemrose

Rainbow Quartz - ThatSwampCryptid

Sugarcookie - adamantemrose

Jonah - Salz

[fefairys]

I'm obsessed with the dancestors. If you have the time, I'd love to hear your thoughts on a lot of them - none in particular. Just anything you wanna talk about in particular, I wanna hear it. (Haven't gotten to them in my re-read but I'm looking forward to refresh myself on them)

yeah sure i actually just finished the main 3 dancestor walkarounds so its super fresh in my mind!

my thoughts on the dancestors are... mixed. that section sticks out to me as the most mean-spirited part, with how some of the characters are presented. but i do think it is interesting how, even though they have so little screen time, and the fact that they are supposed to be pretty shallow, parody characters without much substance, most of them still have enough depth squeezed into them to be interesting enough to like, obsess over.

like, we are given juuuuust enough information to ostensibly make us actually care about these characters as their own hypothetically complex beings.

some people who love the dancestors say stuff like "if only andrew had treated them like actual characters instead of jokes" but personally i like it the way it is, with only having these crumbs of characters to extrapolate upon. this entire THREE SWEEP LONG session to theorize about. thats the fun part to me.

i do think the most unnecessary thing in homestuck by far was making damara like that. dont like that shit. feels gross. when i was younger i thought it was funny but now its just like eugh. man. did u have to? no. u didnt. not to that extent.

random funny thing that i didnt remember until last night is theres a line where horuss calls damara a "singleton" (because he is plural and she is a singlet) and i found that very funny.

also the look into beforan society through these characters is very intriguing. thats another thing i like, is the subtle world building in there.

thats all i can think to talk about at the moment but feel free to come ramble at me on your thoughts and stuff :) or ask more specific questions abt specific characters n my thoughts on them as well. whatevs

[oldhsposts]

Apologies for the spam, went through a nostalgia trip of sorts. Yknow how it is

no problem! it doesn't bother me ^^ thank you for the likes!!

[ender--slime]

THERE ARE ONLY TWO DAYS LEFT TO PREORDER THE PINK AND PURPLE CAPTCHALOGUE BAGS!

After this they’ll be GONE FOREVER gone for the FORESEEABLE FUTURE but they will COME BACK AT SOME POINT! What am I, Makeship? cmonnnnnnnn

After I close up preorders i have some BREAKDOWNS and ANNOUNCEMENTS to do, but until then, GET THOSE LAST FEW ORDERS IN!! :D

Drawing contributions:

Karkat: @zomb1gutz

Kankri: @inkyu

Terezi: @chirriechi

Dirk: @catboylabhell

The Mayor: @enviousennui

Mutie: @voxsymphonia

John…’s face: @juneegbertfanpage

Jade on top: @flaringk

Jade on bottom: @cartoonghosty

Vriska: @valle-de-sombra-de-muerte

Gamzee: @classpectpokerap

[vwildmonk]

@enviousennui Happy Psychonauts Secret Santa!