bottledpillz

[bottledpillz]

anyone else ever wish they could lie down harder? Like, I'm already horizontal, but I need more horizontal. I need to be absorbed by the floor. I think that would fix me

[bottledpillz]

[bottledpillz]

I've seen this before, but it's been years and it just came across my Twitter in its dying days. The words are from a favorite author of mine, Maggie Stiefvater, and they are the words I most need to hear when it comes to dealing with chronic pain and illness. I didn't need this the first time I saw it, six years ago. I need it now. Maybe you do, too.

[bottledpillz]

Shout out to the ten year old who just got diagnosed. Shout out to the housebound fourteen year old. Shout out to the eighteen year old who can’t go to the university they wanted. Shout out to the twenty two year old who can’t get a job. Shout out to the twenty six year old with a caretaker. Shout out to the thirty year old who can’t buy their own house.

Shout out to young disabled people. We exist.

[bottledpillz]

"everyone should care about accessibility because most people will become disabled at some point in their life" is a logical argument and I understand its popularity

however, everyone should care about accessibility because disabled people are fellow human beings living in the same society as you who deserve the same rights as you

thank you good night

[bottledpillz]

I didn't expect to cry when I came on tumblr today :,)

Kinda fucked up that we all coo and sympathize with "former gifted kids" but never talk about the students who had to stay late after school or over the summer for remedial classes/clubs, who struggled to get above a C, who were given up on or punished. Who tried so hard to understand or just couldn't. Who were grouped with the "stupid kids" (a classmate called us that in remedial math btw)

Autistic kids and adhders who can't relate to their gifted peers and are constantly alienated by them. Kids who struggled in school due to dealing with a chronic or mental illness or physical/learning/developmental disability. Those of us who have had to drop out of highschool or college. Kids who worked so hard and wanted to be seen as smart, but never were. Who watched as their peers seem to fly by them in school, while they were left behind. Who were bullied and put down by those in the gifted and honors classes. Whose confidence was absolutely destroyed by education.

I love you all and I'm so sorry the school system failed you. I'm sorry you weren't properly accommodated and given the education you deserved. I'm sorry people put you down for something that they never had to fight for.

[bottledpillz]

THIS!!

THIS IS AN AMAZING WAY TO THINK OF CHRONIC PAIN

[bottledpillz]

[bottledpillz]

the flesh is unwilling and honestly, the spirit isn't too keen on the idea either

[bottledpillz]

Something I think people who don’t live with chronic illness don’t understand is that there is a big difference between resting to get better and resting to avoid getting worse.

[bottledpillz]

Really annoying how the default thought my brain goes to when my pain gets really really bad is "I want to die". Because I don't want to die. I just don't want to be feeling the overwhelming pain in my body. But ever since I was a kid that's what my brain goes back to. I want to die. I want to die. I want to die.

[bottledpillz]

there's something so raw and soul crushing about spending your late childhood+teen years suicidal then growing up and actually wanting to live, after an ungodly effort, only to see your health deteriorate because of chronic illness.

[bottledpillz]

I really wish that schools become more accessible and soon.

I got kicked out of school because of my health issues. I was maybe a little less than halfway through gr 12 and I got kicked out.

I got told to find somewhere else because I'm too much for the school to handle and I caused too many problems for my classmates. Oh and I can't forget about how the vice principal I had lied to my parents about me being violent??

He said that because I asked him not to touch me when I was more lucid and able to speak and comprehend what was going on after coming out of seizures and fainting for I don't even know how long.

The friends I had at the time had to hover over me so he wouldn't grab me and try to drag me down the hall to the office apparently 😀

I ramble too much 😓 oops but yeah schools should be more accessible!!

When I say “school should be disability accessible”, I don’t just mean we need handicap rails and EAs. Kids should be able to miss a day without failing out of school. You shouldn’t be dismissed from clubs because your attendance record is “spotty” (true story). I once missed an entire week of school because of a terrible, unending migraine. I was expected to keep up with my studies despite the blinding pain that came with working on my computer. When I heard my teachers say that you couldn’t miss exams, I asked what I would have to do to be excused from them. Their response? “Either get a doctor’s note an hour before the exam or death of an immediate family member.”

I cannot express how rigid this expectation was. First of all, with my condition, I wouldn’t have enough warning about my sickness to go to the doctor and request a note. For many people, this is exceptionally difficult, especially with the current shortage of medical professionals. Next, it ignores the fact that my schedule may not line with theirs because of my medical needs. Once, I had to visit a hospital a province away (which I was on the waiting list of for over a year) on the same day as an exam. I begged my mother not to take me because I was so nervous that I would be marked as an automatic fail. I was lucky enough to make it work, but that’s only because of my spectacular support system consisting of family members and wonderful doctors.

Disabilities aren’t always about needing a bus that can accommodate wheelchairs. It’s already difficult enough for many of us to maintain school attendance without the harsh punishments involved for skipping a day. We need to be able to miss school without being punished. Only than can you claim that the school is “accessible”

[bottledpillz]

[bottledpillz]

I would like to see more people talk about how jobs treat disabled employees.

I used to prep, wash dishes, and cook at mellow mushroom. I had chronic pain that wasn't NEARLY as bad as it is today, but it was still very debilitating. I told my employer "i cannot stand more than 4 to 6 hours. I CANNOT do shifts longer than this due to my illness." And even though i made my boundaries VERY clear, everyday i worked it was 8 hours at the least and 10 or 12 at the most. I would go up to my manager and say "look i really need to leave, my shift is over, my chronic pain is killing me." And he'd say "we really need to here, you HAVE to push through." And so i did, and after one, ONE month of that job my crps got incredibly worse to the point where i could no longer walk my dog around the block which was .5 miles. I quit, and that was FOUR years ago, and ever since that day I HAVE BEEN BEDRIDDEN AND HAVE TO USE A WHEELCHAIR. It is my biggest regret in life.

My best friend who has seen my whole journey has recently developed undiagnosed chronic pain, and she is in the EXACT same scenario i was 4 years ago. Busting her ass at a pizza place with extreme pain that hurts her so much she tells me "im in so much pain i don't even feel like a person." She doesn't feel LUCID. And her manager and coworkers are saying the same thing "if you don't help us you will let us down, we'll be in the shit."

That job thats hurting you isn't fucking worth it. I promise you no money is worth losing all your physical abilities and never getting them back. Your coworkers and boss do not give a shit about you, so don't you dare suffer for them. They will never understand your struggle and they will never try. They truly think being understaffed is worse than whatever pain you experience. They would rather you permanently damage yourself than inconvenience them. FUCK THEM. DON'T FUCKING DO IT!

[bottledpillz]

crazy how chronic illness or other health disabilities changes your perception of your own health. I start feeling faint and my heart is racing and instead of being like "omg this must be a heart attack" like I used to I have to go "hm is this Normal pots, Worse pots, or an Actual Issue"

[bottledpillz]

A whole new world has just opened up for me 👁️ 👄 👁️ I did not know I could use this to wash my hair and now I need one so I don't have arm spasms during my showers

Brooke (@flourishinglydifferent on TikTok) posted this video on how she washes her hair with a long scrub brush to accommodate her disability and I thought it was a great idea! I really struggle to keep my arms up for long periods of time so this could be so helpful.

[video description: a white woman with long brunette hair stands in her bathroom holding a long handled scrub brush that is typically used for body washing. she explains that she uses it to wash her hair independently.]