#kakashi knows naruto will go sage mode on him if need be

[natsuzoku]

Kid Naruto: When I’m going to be Hokage, my first order will be to bring world peace, dattebayo!

Kakashi: Good job, Naruto. Everyone will listen to you when you’re Hokage.

*When Naruto finally becomes Hokage*

Naruto: As Hokage, my first order is for Kakashi-sensei to remove his mask.

Kakashi:

Kakashi: Listen here you little shit-

[cool-thymus]

Obito's reading list

[if this post is about Obito's taste in literature then why is he asleep, and it's Kakashi doing the reading, you might ask? Well, i believe Obito's reading habits are healthy, while our boy Kakashi here can't simply put his smut down in the dead of night. Also, Obito might be woken up soon by... y'know]

Anyway, i was typing a reply to @hairybeardtongue 's idea about what books Obito would enjoy reading and got inspired ٩(｡•́‿•̀｡)۶ (my personal post-war Obito headcanons below the cut)

Definitely! I can see Tobito going a full-blown Machiavelli mode. He must've read it in his villain era (that would explain some of his evil-but-proficient management choices).

But if we speak post-war, Obito will have to find his place again in the ninja world (which is still a mess despite Kakashi's impeccable hokageing). He'll need to catch up on all those years of denying the reality, break the delusions and prejudice he's been fostering all his adult life. I like to believe that he'll find solace in the written word and try to challenge the existing dogma. He might've lost his chakra privilege, but his mind is as sharp as ever, so why not have Kakashi deliver all the books and scrolls he requires to figure out the world he chose to save. In one of my post-war obkk aus Obito becomes a philosopher and provides valuable theoretical basis for Kakashi's and Naruto's executive hokage decisions. What if the guy who almost destroyed it all found a way to end the war-is-all-you-need dictatorship peacefully? (that would make more sense than brutally killing him for the second time, Kishi!)

As for leisure reading ("Pleasure reading!" Kakashi, please don't interrupt), I believe Obito'd enjoy stories about a wanderer who is always on the move and contemplates the world in all its beauty and messiness. (i'm thinking about Mushishi somehow xD) If the Sage of Six Paths published an autobiography, Obito would want to read it too probably. He might even enjoy Jiraya's Tale of the Utterly Gutsy Shinobi! Can you imagine how happy Kakashi'd be to learn that Obito finally decided to read his favorite author?! (he is this close to making him read the Icha-Icha series, who knows, maybe one day...)

Another curious aspect is Obito's seal-free heart, from now on vulnerable and open to compassion and strong emotions. Would that prompt him to read tragic novels to experience the catharsis of vicariously reliving grief, sadness, desperation, or hope? I think he might ("Return of the Crybaby!" dude, please). And whenever he's overwhelmed with his ideas destined to fix the society or sheds too many tears over some dramatic fiction, there's always Kakashi to lean on and rest while those nimble fingers massage his head so very soothingly.

[awinterrosesstuff]

There's a question many tried to answer, but what are jonin sensei supposed to teach their team ?

- The most obvious thing is teamwork. Genin when they are put in a team are supposed to learn to work together under the command of their jonin. Teamwork is the most important thing during the Bell test (that's why Kakashi used it to test his different teams for ex) and in the chunin exam, we are shown that teamwork is also tested.

- Chakra control. That's the basics. Since team 7 is the main team, I'm going to use them as an example. During the waves arc, Kakashi teaches them how to use chakra to climb trees. I tend to believe the water walking Ebisu shows to Naruto before the last part of the chunin exam is part of the "chakra control training" for a genin.

- A shinobi life... By that I mean, obeying to orders, what's a shinobi, the differents missions etc. They basically experience the life of a shinobi before going on dangerous missions.

Other examples (but they don't seem to be the usual) :

Sakura is shown in the exam to know how to dispel a genjutsu. Apparently, Kakashi taught her that technique.

It's likely that Minato did teach the rasengan to Kakashi. Kakashi doesn't explicitly tells us that, but it makes sense. Kakashi created the chidori because he couldn't add he nature to the rasengan. Plus it's from him, we learn that the rasengan is in fact an unfinished technique.

Kakashi taught Sasuke the chidori. Gai taught his whole taijutsu style to Lee. And that seems to be an exception (more like Tsunade took Sakura as her student). And Kakashi came with the idea of the training for Naruto in the second part and supervised his training (& Yamato took the role when Kakashi went with Inoshikacho to avenge Asuma). For Naruto, it happened after they became team Kakashi, he isn't really their jonin sensei at this point.

Now, I can't find an example of a genin using a technique from their jonin sensei (except for Sasuke & Lee). You can argue that Konoha favours Clan's children, and I'd agree with you.

Now team 7... Sasuke and Naruto are orphans, so they don't have their parents/clans around to teach them. Then we have Sakura. We know pretty much nothing about her clan. And she doesn't have a technique of her own in the first part. Sasuke probably learnt the Uchiha katon on his own. But it's true that he got the chidori from Kakashi.

Sakura, Sasuke and Naruto all "went" to someone else to get stronger, to learn more things. And when you consider that Konoha maybe favours clans' children, then it makes sense. When your family can't teach you techniques, then you need someone to teach you a speciality or more things that what you learn in your team. It seems a genin jounin teach the basics/general skills & knowledges of the life of ninja while masters like Tsunade and Jiraiya (I can't acknowledge Orochimaru as one since he didn't really have the master/student relationship with Sasuke) basically teach what you'll specialize in.

Sakura, thanks to her delicate chakra control and her determination, became a great medical nin under Tsunade's wing. She also specialized in evasion for her taijutsu, and obviously developped her cherry blossom impact thanks to Tsunade's guidance. There's also her mastery of the byakugo and the creation rebirth and summoning Katsuyu.

Naruto has a few things going for him like his shadow clone jutsu. And he shows a great effeciency in henge. But he learnt from Jiraiya summoning (and Summoning: Food Cart Destroyer Technique probably since he used in the war arc), rasengan (and a bigger rasengan), trained in using Kurama's chakra and apparently in taijutsu (it seems like his style was more refined in the time skip). And thanks to Jiraiya teachings he was able to expand on the rasengan, learn sage mode & frog kata and perfect it. Etc. He also seems to have a bit of knowledge in fuinjutsu (probably for the seal that holds Kuybi ?).

And then there's Tenten and I can't really explain how she got in weaponry and who taught. I do think there's a headcanon that her parents have a shop that sells weapons. And in fact, I do think it's a nice idea. I suppose if you don't have a master or a clan to teach you techniques, you have to learn on your own. Is a Tenten an exemple of that ?

So here my thoughts, sorry that's long post.

[phoenixremix69]

Things that make absolutely no goddamn sense in Naruto in no particular order

No one knows what anyone looks like. Madara has only been gone for about 60 years. People are still alive that actually met him and there are probably still artist renderings of him for history purposes. despite this, Nagato, Hanzo, and Onoki, who might not have fought him, but he was definitely a genin around the time Madara was still running around, all think Obito is him despite being a different height, different hair, different voice, and different powers. The only thing going for him is that he's strong and has a sharingan. and that's not even touching the fact that Naruto and Minato are the only two blonds in konoha not related to ino, and no one realized?

Medical ninjutsu. In the beginning of a series, it was well established that medical ninjutsu required both really fine chakra control and knowledge of the human body to make sure you aren't rupturing their lungs or giving them cancer. Naruto, who is established to have mid level control and 0 anatomical knowledge can just whip Gai up a new body. Then there's Obito who had literally half a body then got saved because Madara obviously has a medical degree, how else would he be able to integrate Hashirama's cells into him presumably before cell theory existed. And let's talk about eyeballs. Let's just assume for the sake of the argument Rin was a semi-trained medic who did Kakashi's eye swap in the middle of a warzone, and Kakashi still had a bum eye for about 25 years. Zetsu plopped Madara's eyes into baby Nagato despite a grown man's eyes being shoved into a baby's skull. Then Obito and Madara are playing hot potato with their eyes. Do Sharingan just have no nerve endings?

And speaking of jutsu that should be more important than they are, fuinjutsu. We know the Uzumaki had it and they made extra strong jinchuriki, that's why they were killed. We know you need it to make a proper jinchuriki or the tailed beast will pop out. and we know you need to write stuff on paper for it to work, that's why Jiraiya has his big scroll and Tenten has her twin dragon thingy. Except Minato can just touch stuff to make his teleport points. The sage can just plop the two most powerful seals ever on your hands and it's just two little temporary tattoos. Madara and obito don't need any seal because they can just plop the whole ten tails inside them despite not being uzumaki and there being no seals period. And you'd think for such a powerful and useful ability, more people would have it. it literally fits Sakura's mindset way more if she were a seal user way better than a medic.

And finally, senjutsu. Now senjutsu itself is fine, more energy and weird powers in exchange for being one with nature. cool concept. My complaint is how exclusive it is. You're telling me, that naruto who is only tangentially related to toads and has only been training for a few days is more at peace with nature than an entire clan of dog people? or the clan full of living insect hives aren't beetle sages? or that Mitsuki and Kashin Koji, literal clone abominations of science are more in tune with nature than Sakura? There should at least be a few sages per village, and maybe one in the akatsuki. Hidan maybe. Hell, Jinchuriki are made out of imprisoning natural disasters, they should get their own sage mode. Demon sage or something

[depressedhatakekakashi]

I am so sick of Kakashi being labeled a bad teacher because his students go to a new teacher/master

Not one if the kids said they couldn’t achieve the growth they wanted under Kakashi’s teachings. Sasuke didn’t leave because Kakashi wasn’t teaching him enough, he left because Orochimaru was an answer to a shortcut to power that he saw in the sound four when they rolled in, kicked his ass and taunted him

Naruto didn’t decide Kakashi wasn’t a good enough teacher and Jiraiya was better. Jiraiya took Naruto under his wing largely to protect him from the akatsuki who had just made TWO attempts at trying to find and capture him. One attempt inside of the village

Sakura went to Tsunade because she realized she was lacking, and yes part of that was because Kakashi couldn’t teach her because he was being constantly pulled between Naruto and Sasuke, but it was also to fit a theme. To fit in with the idea of the three students going to the three sannin.

None of these students left because Kakashi was failing them as a teacher. Not one of them said that ir even hinted at it

They left because that’s what the story wanted, and it’s often that a character leaves to study under someone else even when they’ve learned a lot from one master/sensei (goku changes masters/sensei every arc from roshi to kami to kai to wis. None of his previous masters were bad, he was just progressing past what they could teach him or needed specific training to grow to protect the world)

Kakashi is a good teacher

All three of his students flourished and improved under him. If Sakura hadn’t grown at all she would have gotten her ass handed to her by Ino and would have 100% died against the sound nin while protecting sasuke and Naruto’s unconscious bodies.

Like i know we don’t see the actual training and i hate it because it’s a missed opportunity

But it is stated multiple times that Kakashi trained his students and all of them grew exponentially under his training. Heck, Kakashi even helped Naruto figure out how to use his shadow clones and ridiculous chakra reserves to create a new jutsu in DAYS which he later took to also learn sage mode in (again) DAYS. Something that took other shinobi years

Like, i do not see why people want Kakashi to be a bad sensei so much. There is nothing in cannon to suggest that he ever was. Not one of his students think of him as a bad sensei.

[phoenixyfriend]

A Smattering of Ideas for a Neji Time-Travel Fic

[EDIT: okay so viewing the post on dash or sidebar blog completely ruins the bullet nesting for some reason. Please open it in a new tab.]

Okay so I actually wrote the first chapter or two of this like... almost a decade ago probably, but the concept was:

Neji, upon dying, gets sent back, and he's perfectly healthy again, pretty much exactly as he was just before getting mokuton-stabbed... except the seal damage wasn't reversed, so he's blind.

I think he ended up like riiiiiight before the Hyuuga Incident, so about of age with Kakashi & co.

But yeah like imagine telling Hiashi about it.

We have a new Jounin! It's a blind Hyuuga.

His seal is gone! He's technically your nephew.

He needs to be retrained for blindness! He needs to be protected for the information he carries.

He's a time-traveler!

Have fun.

The Hyuuga clan has like a million things going on but future Neji is just finding his younger self and Hinata to cuddle them.

He can't see shit but he Needs To Hug Baby Hinata

She's so small? She needs to be protected?

"Sir, you're blind now." "If Lee can be a ninja without chakra, I can be a ninja without eyes." "Sir. Sir that's--that's not the same thing, you can't--SIR." "I'll ask Hatake for advice." "He's still got half of his--SIR!"

Neji is a genius, if there's anyone who can pivot their entire fighting style from "I can see everything" to "I don't need to see anything" it's someone like him. Especially with the "I need to protect all these smols and be strong enough to force people to take my advice seriously if necessary" motivation

BUT But But for the first few days, it's just like. Sir. I understand you want to protect this small child, but you walked into three walls in the past hour. Please st--sir.

Fun option is "Neji spills all the beans... to Hiashi, not the Hokage."

Hiashi: Okay so like. Give me a few days to come up with a cover story for your existence. Neji: That's fair. Hiashi: Do. Do you want me to send in Hizashi or...? Neji: I'll tell him the truth if you do. Hiashi: That's, uh... that's fine. Neji: Then yes. Please. Hiashi, thoroughly unnerved for a variety of reasons: Right. I'll go do that.

Relevant: "Stop trying to convince me to put the Caged Bird Seal on a man who is already blind."

Since that's the ostensible reasoning of the seal, and like. You can't make that argument about keeping the eyes safe when the eyes don't... work.

Courtesy of @firebirdeternal​, along with a bunch of other stuff but especially this:

ooooh feels moment: Neji starts his retraining to become Strong Enough without his eyesight, guess who sees him working his ass off to overcome a disadvantage and thinks "Oh, there's a person I should Be Friends With!"

Part of me just went "Gai gets injured on a mission and, while waiting out his medical leave, gets assigned to Neji as a guide/sparring partner"

Or, well, not assigned. He's just doing one-armed pushups in the training yard with a cast on half his limbs after breaking out of the hospital and zeros in on Neji like "Ah yes, medically inadvisable training, a Bonding Activity!"

Neji goes from "I can see everything" to "I can't see shit but if you're within arms reach you're fucked"

A lot of it comes down to Neji building up non-Byakugan sensing abilities, I think?

It won't help him read, but it'll sure help him avoid getting punched.

I think that's really the crux of his New Style, however he works it out, instead of having this Massive Range of perfect perception he just trains his other senses until he still has that perfect perception effectively, just in like a two foot radius around his person

and then he goes full Rock Lee and trains speed and reaction time until that two feet is enough

I want Daredevil-style bitchiness at some point, in the "Okay, I'm sure the contract is lovely, but do you have it in braille, perhaps?" sense

And Toph-style stuff

Genma, in the Jounin lounge: "Hey guys I think I've got a design finished for the new tattoo I'm gonna get, what do ya'll think?" 'holds up scroll' Kakashi: "Why would you get a tattoo of an ugly couch?" Genma: "It's not an ugly couch it's the Hokage Monument!" Neji: "It looks perfect to me" Genma: "Thank you! I worked really hard on-..... why do you feel the need to do these things."

Also I want Neji to have the same approach as Matt to a cane. He can make do without it, but it sure does make his life easier when he's off-duty.

Like, yes if he focuses his entire, highly trained person, on perceiving his surroundings, he can sense his way around. But that is very tiring

Like that is a lot of work to be doing, when you are just trying to get to the coffee shop for a bagel

Neji learns Sage Mode solely because he wants to be able to tree-hop again

Neji visits Kakashi like "I can't ask the Inuzuka for this because their dogs are clan-specific, but do you know where I can find a guide dog that can double as a ninken in the field?"

Neji asking Gai to help him pick out a feminine yukata because if ANYONE is going to not judge...

Listen I'm just really invested in what Naruto SD told us about how often Neji cross-dresses

Someone asked me which summons Neji learns Sage Mode from, and 

I mean, Hashirama supposedly just. Learned it? Without summons?

So maybe Neji does that and just learns from Jiraiya or something

Though it's not... particularly safe.

Birdie had the best response

learning it Without a Summon is very much in the vein of Neji's past attitudes towards Special Secret Techniques, given that he learned the Kaiten with no help even though it was a Secret Technique of the Hyuuga.

"I know it's possible to do, so the hard part is already over, the rest is just figuring it out and doing it"

Neji: I'm here, I'm queer, I'm blind as fuck.

Neji hanging out with Gai and Kakashi is, admittedly, not that different from hanging out with Lee and TenTen

Kakashi is a bit more likely to join in on the shenanigans than Tenten was, but he's still just as available for "We're judging you" sessions

Neji, sipping tea as Gai yells: this is my comfort zone.

Neji with a white cane: This is my whacking stick. Hiashi: Don't you mean walking stick? Neji: No.

Because... what ninja wouldn't ensure that any normal part of their daily life was fit for battle.

Like if Karin can hide lockpicks in a photo and a knife in her glasses, Neji can ensure his white cane is suitable for battle.

(Going off the earlier Daredevil comparisons, I’d say this is similar to Matt turning his cane into billy clubs sometimes.)

Neji, assuming the role of Chief Babysitter for SmolNeji and Hinata, senses Lee and Tenten at the park. Nudges SmolNeji: "Go, be friends with them"

SmolNeji, watching Lee faceplant into the dirt while trying to jump off the swing while Tenten chases two boys around with a weird frog she found: ".... why"

Neji: "Just trust me"

Also consider older Neji giving baby Hinata shoulder rides

Baby Hinata is delighted by this whole affair.

More time with big brother, and a new even bigger brother? Best times.

Bigger brother needs help reading sometimes and Hinata is so excited to help. Hiashi even approves because helping older Neji read things like menus and the like is helping Hinata learn how to read, so it benefits everyone.

Consider also: Neji encouraging the smols to play with bby Naruto, a Hyuuga elder (or possibly Hiashi, but I want him to be a confused accomplice) complains exactly once and Neji exudes such a powerful "Do not test me" energy that he just kind of. Drops it.

Neji's attitude towards baby Naruto is somewhere between "They're good dogs Brent" and "I died for him once already, do you think I'd hesitate to kill?" and it depends entirely on how seriously he thinks you're talking shit about him

Neji plays with the smols, including smol Naruto, by just being the Perfect Straight Man. Just taking every nonsense thing Naruto says Completely Seriously and using deadpan reactions to chaos to make them giggle. This drifts into Feels for Naruto when he's the first adult who takes his "I'm gonna be the Hokage" completely seriously

"Of course, chibi-Hokage-sama"

Hiashi: "What.... are you.... doing?" Neji: "Ah, Hiashi-sama. Please exercise caution, the floor has mysteriously transformed into molten rock. I suspect enemy action, but have no further intelligence at this time" SmolNeji, Hinata, and Naruto: 'wild giggling as they dangle from rafters/stand balanced precariously on chairs'

Hiashi takes one step into the room and all the kids start screaming so loud he steps back out in shock

Neji out in Konoha just Causing Shit with plausible deniability

Listen. Neji is PETTY.

Someone describes Naruto as "the annoying blonde child with the whiskers, you know, the skin brat" and Neji says "I'm a sensor and have encountered no demonic chakra"

"okay just avoid the blonde kid with the whiskers"

"I don't know how to tell you this..." 

"Sir, I know you're new in town, but that kid isn't really good news--" "A child can't be news unless they're recently born." "No, I mean, didn't anyone tell you to avoid the blonde kid with the whiskers?" "Naruto's blonde?"

Possibly "Hinata's blonde?"

He just, aggressively misunderstands that any insinuation about Naruto is about the Hyuuga heir instead

Birdie said they like the idea that he uses the aggressive deliberate misunderstanding to force people to either be embarrassed by how they're acting by having to spell it out or give up in quieter shame

Sometimes Neji gets tired of being obtuse and just lets Gai do it for him

Gai babysits on occasion, SmolNeji is aghast, Hinata mostly just confused, Naruto is delighted

Naruto is just Stars In Eyes about Gai

Kakashi: this is not the excuse I expected to have for visiting Naruto but I'm taking it

[dayseternal-blog]

Hi Days! I'm a huge fan of your work and your tumblr blog bc you give so many naruhina fanfic recs and talk about your stories, etc.

To sum it up, you're my favorite person lol, I'm a bit shy so I'm asking this as an anon, but I wanted to tell you something random just because I've always just thought about it and maybe you would agree or comment on it.

Have you ever listened to mitski? If you haven't I recomend you do bc she's amazing, but anyways I was listening to a song of hers called "washing machine heart" and it reminded me of naruhina, like the fic "together you and I" but different you know, like naruto only married hinata because he couldn't have sakura, she was his second option and every time he looked at her he wished and pretended it was Sakura, so Hina tries her hardest to look pretty and try to be the person he wants, always getting saddend by the idea that she isn't the one he wants, she knows his heart will only belong to Sakura. She let's him trample all over her heart and use her because she loves him unconditionally, maybe cry to her on some nights because he longs for Sakura's love that will never come.

I've read so many fanfics and I've never encountered one using this concept, I'd write it myself, but I'm not good at writing, maybe I'm reaching but it could inspire an angst story made by you or just a prompt or idea/concept for anyone to use. The hurt in this could be inmaculate and I bet a good writer could bring everyone to tears if they read a story like this. You don't have to do anything ofc I'll love you either way, I'm not meaning to push you to write a whole story with this concept by any means or to even post this ask, it's just something I made up/ related to this certain song, so I wanted you to see it, perhaps share your opinion or thoughts on it or just think about it. I love pain a lot hahaha bc I'm not a narusaku shipper in any way, I actually dislike the ship a lot.

Thank you for reading this and pls keep up the awesome work!! I'll always be a fan and support you and your spectacular writing❤️❤️

GAH What an awful fic idea you have 💔

“The Ring that Binds” by softwind - Rated M, Canon-Divergent, Multi-chapter, Incomplete.  Naruto and Hinata are married.  So why is Naruto calling “Sakura” in his sleep?

“Girl No 10″ by meeiwen - Rated M, Modern AU, Multi-chapter, Complete. Naruto makes a mistake with a dancer one drunk night.  Years later when he meets her again, he begins realizing his perfect life is a lie, but he’s too late to fix it.

And

“Territorial” by @bunny-hoodlum - Rated M, High school AU, Multi-chapter, Complete.  When Hinata takes advantage of Naruto’s desperation for love, they’re both a little too much for the other to handle.

Are similar to what you have there.

HERE’S MY VERY QUICK AND INCOMPLETE STAB AT YOUR PROMPT IT’S UNEDITED UNREVISED CANON-DIVERGENT AU RATED T FOR LANGUAGE BUT I HOPE YOU LIKE WHAT I COULD COME UP WITH 😘  THEY ARE NOT MARRIED BECAUSE I WOULD BE TOO SAD

...

Naruto finally makes it to the Hokage’s office, having had trouble shaking off fangirls on his way.  He can immediately tell he’s the last one there, even though it’s the eve of the Rinnegan Festival.  Tense expressions greet him, the atmosphere somber.

Sakura whips her attention back to the desk before them.  “Rokudaime, with all due respect, I don’t think Naruto belongs on this mission.”

Her behavior has confused him all night.  First moving away from him so that Hinata would sit between them at Ichiraku when Hinata could have just sat on the other side of him.  Then pushing him to follow Hinata back home.  He said aloud that he’d be seeing her later, and that he wanted to catch up with everyone first, but Sakura just glared at him...

She’s been pushing him away, more and more every day, breaking his heart to smaller and smaller pieces...whether knowingly or not, he’s not sure about that, but she’s never rejected him from being her teammate on a mission.

Worried, he meets Kakashi’s gaze.

“I understand your concern, Sakura.”  His tone is heavy.  His usual careless attitude nowhere in sight.  “Call it just my gut-feeling...you’re going to need Naruto’s strength for this mission.”

-

Hanabi was kidnapped.

Hiashi and Hinata are nowhere to be found.

“What do you mean...?” Naruto finds himself asking.  “I just saw her.  We just saw her.  Not even an hour ago.”

“When Sai reported Hanabi’s kidnapping, believe me, Naruto, we moved to notify her family immediately.  Anbu can’t find them.”

“What?”  The last memory he has of Hinata abruptly leaving dinner and running off without hardly a word nags at him, inexplicably tightening his chest.  “She’s fine.  Hinata’s strong.  She can take on anybody.  No one would dare-”

“Naruto,” Sakura interrupts, her gaze cutting sharp.  “She’s nowhere to be found.  And as much as you believe that, no one is invincible.  Not even Hinata.  We need to form a plan, otherwise we’re losing precious time.”

“No one is invincible.  Not even Hinata.”

An emptying numbness invades his insides, discomforting slickness muting him.

This isn’t his fault, is it?

-

What if she needed to tell him something?

She was acting strange at Ichiraku.

Quiet, unusual for her as of recent...

But how was he supposed to notice?  Should he have followed after her, like Sakura said?  But they were supposed to meet at his apartment later on anyway, so why did she have to come out early like that and ruin the good time he was having?  She knows how he hasn’t given up on Sakura.

She knows everything about him.  She’s been his rock after Sakura tried to shut him down for good.  So how can it be that she’d just disappear?  There’s no way.

There’s just no way that she disappeared right after she left...

-

Hours.

Hours of wandering around in abandoned, desolate, war-stricken villages in god-knows-where, and nothing.  No one.

He’s asking for the hundredth time, but he doesn’t care, he’s past the point of desperation, and anxiety-laced tension fills the air.  “Taku, you really don’t see anything?!”  The Hyuuga they have on their team led them into this godforsaken wasteland.

Taku turns on him aggressively, getting in his face in reaction, and yells, “What about you??  You think I’m not trying my best?!  This is my family!  Just because you’re Hinata’s boyfriend doesn’t mean you’re any more worried than the rest of us!  You don’t sense her??”

No.  He doesn’t.

His Sage Mode has never been so useless.  In fact, he senses no one besides them in this place, and it’s with terrible unease that he begins to entertain the thought that she’s gone for good.

“There’s no one even here besides us!  Nothing!  Why’d you take us down here?  Where are we even?!  How do we get out of here in the first place?!” he argues back.

“Sakura-san was right!  You don’t belong on this mission!  I don’t know what Hinata-sama could ever see in you, I haven’t seen her smile in months!”

“What do you mean by that?!  She smiles all the time!  I’ve never seen her act so cheerful in my life!”

“So you fucking know it, too!”  Taku glares at him with an incredulous expression.  “That she’s just acting!”

“What the hell do you mean by that-”

And he doesn’t know what happened next, but Sai’s grabbing onto Taku and he himself is locked in Shikamaru’s shadow manipulation.  Chakra’s sparking off his own hands, while blue embers warp along Taku’s.

“Calm down,” Shikamaru orders both of them.  “We’re not getting anywhere if the two of you keep fighting.”  He waits for Taku to loosen his stance.

Sai lets go of him.

Taku throws an insulting glare around before sauntering off.

Shikamaru sighs.  Hard.  “Go cool your head, Naruto.”  He retracts his shadow, and Naruto wastes no time walking off in the opposite direction, far from wherever Taku is heading.

Yet Taku’s ridiculous words ring in his head.  “That she’s just acting.”

But she said that she’s happy to be with him.  That she doesn’t mind that he’s still in love with Sakura.  She said that she’s just happy to be with him.

She said that.  She did.  And she wouldn’t lie to him, right?

She was just acting?

“You’re not going to finish your ramen?” he asked her on their date last month.

“No...”  Suddenly, she smiled brightly, something she’s been doing more often ever since he mentioned that he’s always liked how genki Sakura is.  “Do you want the rest of mine?  I’m dieting.”

He scrunched his eyebrows at her.  “Dieting?  Why?”

“Well...”  She looked thoughtful for a moment before seeming to come to a decision.  “Naruto-kun, you like thin girls, right?”

He knew she was talking about Sakura.  “...I guess...”

“I want to make you happy,...” she started.  She bit her lips for a hesitating moment before continuing, “so I’ve been trying to lose a little weight.”

“Oh.”  He didn’t know what to make of that.  Unbidden, he looked her over. 

“Can you tell?” she asked, her characteristic shyness lowered her lashes, yet she didn’t fidget under his examination, and he could tell how she was trying her best to have that confident persona he admires in his former teammate.

Despite her recent changes in attitude, Hinata’s still been so physically small compared to himself and everyone else.  Under her jacket, he couldn’t tell if she looked skinnier or not, and even if she was, he doesn’t think she really needed to be skinnier.

But then she looked up at him with that heavy, hopeful weight in her gaze, and he couldn’t let her down.  Not when she’s trying so hard for his approval.

He fibbed easily.  “Yeah.  You look really good.”

She shined another smile at him that made him feel good.  Even if their relationship wasn’t traditional, he could at least still make her happy.  He could at least tell her some sweet words and see her sweet smile and-

She was lying.

She wasn’t happy?

He never made her happy?

Then what was the point of any of it?

No, she must have been happy, right?!  She said so!  She told him so!  Many, many times!

After all, he asked her.  All of those times he thought she was faking her smile, he asked just to make sure, and she vehemently told him that she was really happy to be with him.

She said he could talk to her about all of it.  That she could take on his heartbreak because her feelings were so much bigger than...

“Uzumaki Naruto.”

The unfamiliar voice has him leaping to his feet.

A man as pale as a ghost with piercingly icy eyes is floating down to him on some strange platform.  “You’re really as pitiful as I expected.”

“Who the hell are you?!”  He readies his stance.  He’s not in any mood for games, and he’s ready to let loose some of his stress on this very suspicious character.

“Hinata’s fiance.”

“Hinata?!”  Fire races through his veins, heating his feet, and he’s ready to leap at this guy.  “Where is she?!”

“With me.”

His heart rate exponentially explodes, beating into his ears, his skin practically bristling.  “Let her go,” he demands, and the threat of his words leaks from every pore of his being.  “Now.”

The man almost snorts.  “What makes you think she wants to see you?  You only ever used her, broke her...”  His collected expression hardens, and Naruto can sense that he has no intention of releasing her.  “I’ll make her happier than you ever could.”

Several thoughts fly too quickly through his mind to properly process any of it, leaving only residual uncertainty and that deepening sense of his culpability in her sudden disappearance.  But he doesn’t linger on the unpleasant sensations.  “What the fuck do you know?!”  And he’s charging at him, a Rasengan heavy in his hand.

The enemy is far more powerful than he appeared, immediately blowing him back with some kind of focused chakra.  “Weak, pathetic.”

“GIVE HER BACK!”  He replicates himself a dozen times, each of them throwing Rasenshurikens at the man.

Yet more of that strange yellow chakra protects him.  He’s unscathed even under his shadow clone onslaught.  “No.  I gave her a choice, and she came with me.  I’m just here to get rid of you, take revenge against you for her sake.”

He hardly comprehends the nonsense spewing out of the enemy’s mouth, and he rallies his clones into close combat, but the man manages to avoid many of the attacks while landing hits of his own.

Clones poofing away only to be replaced by more, frustration and fury starting to blind him into sloppier and sloppier moves.

“I love Hinata.  That’s why I deserve her.”

He chokes on his own breath, and in his momentary loss of concentration,...

He’s falling.

------------------------*

aaannnnd that’s as far as I want to go with that.  Imagine the rest of the team arriving in time to notice Toneri making his escape toward the sky, and I guess the rest of the story would sort of follow the rest of The Last...Naruto self-reflects a lot in a bundle of depression for a long time and yeah.

...ahhh...  I encourage you to write the fic you want to see in the world ❤️

[bitchiha]

i need some fluff huhu. can i have naruto with mom reader hc or imagines? thank u 😍

A/N: ive never done anything like this before but I like this idea 10/10

Also special credit / mention to @softnaruto because we talked about some of these ideas but w Iruka not a mother figure lol

✎ Being Narutos Mother Figure *sparkles but they’re on fire bc this is chaotic*

Overall, before I get into the details, I’d say this is a very chaotic task lol. You’re probably half dead after dealing w his ass for so long, but seeing this boy that you thought of as your own son grow up before your eyes is so rewarding. It’s great, so wholesome 100/10.

You and Iruka definitely co-parent

Naruto would be constantly protecting you from Jiraiya. Like he doesn’t want the man near you. Runs over to you whenever Jiraiya is nearby and starts screaming “Missus Y/N, run! Pervy Sage is here, I’m doing you a favour, believe it!” No but in all seriousness, take Narutos advice because I know Pervy Sage is tryna hit it.

You end up having to talk to Jiraiya eventually though because you need to know what’s going on with Naruto and the Akatsuki and what you can do to help. Naruto will watch over the interactions like a hawk. Will whip a chopstick at Jiraiya if he tries anything on you, “Back it up pervy Sage! I said three meters apart, there’s no excuse!” So you’d have to meet eachother in secret because you won’t be able to discuss much when the blondies around.

Also, the amount of times you’ve chased his ass around the village after he got into some major trouble is too many times to count. He’s running as fast as he can away from you because he knows you’re gonna whoop his ass lol. Probably even uses his shadow clones, but you know better than to fall for those stupid tricks. No but fr, it’s a really good workout tbh you probably ran a marathon.

You treat him to ramen whenever he comes back from a mission. Sometimes Iruka comes along as well and you both alternate who pays the bill. Naruto always challenges you to a ramen eating competition. Luckily Iruka is there to hold you two back because he knows neither of you are financially stable enough to endure that damage to your wallets.

Literally everyone; Konoha 11, kakashi, iruka, Jiraiya, Tsunade, etc... always threaten Naruto by saying that they’ll tell y/n he’s not cooperating. It works like a charm everytime. There’s no way he wants to hear you lecture him for a good 2 hours. He’d rather get rasenganed into the face than listen to your horrible attempts at being wise.

You always ruffle Narutos hair when you see him. It’s like your signature sign of affection. You also call him “kid” all the time or “youngster” even though you’re like the same age as Kakashi and therefore not old yourself.

He calls you miss. He sometimes calls you Aunty y/n. Refuses to just call you y/n because he wants to be respectful, he looks up to you as a figure of guidance no matter how much he’ll deny it. So no matter how many times you tell him not to call you miss, he will.

Lots of walks! Like you’ll wait for him with Iruka at the village gate when Narutos supposed to return from a mission. It’s like parents picking up their kid from a field trip aweeee. You’ll pack some snacks for the three of you and he fills you in on his missions. He’ll always be like, “Awe no way! Thanks Missus Y/N. You’re the best!” When you give him all the food you packed.

He always comes to you for advice or to rant to you about Sasuke, Sai, Sakura and literally all the other Konoha 11. Lol, but he will rant about you to Iruka and Jiraiya all the time, little does he know you do the same.

Would purposely set you into mama bear mode on Sai for his own amusement. Like he just gets a kick out of watching you confront Sai about calling Naruto some absurd obscenity and watch poor Sai just stand there like: (°_°) lol what do I do? Naruto is snickering behind a tree because he just made that all up. Yamato probably has to intervene when he sees it. Will have to woodstyle justu you when he realizes you’re in mama bear mode.

Hes such a troublesome rat. You love him though. He’s your troublesome rat-son.

Naruto is used to you being hot headed like Tsunade when he gets into trouble, but if you ever take the disappointed route instead, he will cry lol. Like he hates that you’re actually disappointed with him, he didn’t mean to trick you into yelling at Sai, please forgive him.

All celebrations are done with Kakashi, Iruka, Naruto and yourself. Since you all don’t really have any real family to celebrate with, you’ve made your own. It’s so chaotic tho lol.

These events are always ‘surprises for Naruto’ so the cooking is up to you and Kakashi, but Kakashi is so fast at cooking he doesn’t even let you do anything. You have to physically stop him so you could do some of the work. Meanwhile Iruka sets up decorations for the event and he’s probably singing festive songs LOOL. Plus he can’t sing so it’s an extra headache ontop of you yelling at Kakashi to let you do some work.

Then you all surprise Naruto with your half burnt food (while you were fighting the food most definitely lit on fire) and extremely cheesy decorations. Oddly Iruka even decorated the floor. Like wtf. Anyways, Naruto doesn’t really care about how bad it actually was, he was just happy to have people around him that cared enough to invite him to a celebration.

The food is inedible so you go to Ichirakus instead and somehow persuade Iruka into paying for all four of you <3 this happens every holiday so he ends up just saving his money in preparation for it.

Naruto tries to be a matchmaker for you LMFAO. He tries to get you and Iruka together which ends so awkwardly omg, then he’ll try and get you and kakashi together which was even more awkward and DONT get me started on Yamato omg.. He was so nervous he just stared at you the whole time like a googley eyed tree frog or something. Each time you catch onto Naruros little Cupid schemes you tell him to buzz off and that you’re not interested, but he doesn’t listen.

Your other holiday celebrations may be badly executed, but you actually host the best birthdays for him!! You pair up with Tsunade, Shizune, Kakashi, Iruka and Sakura to throw him really memorable birthdays. They may not make up for all the ones he missed celebrations for already, but you do your best to make these extra memorable.

At the end of the night after every birthday party, you walk him home and pat his shoulder sadly talking about how he’s growing up so fast. You probably end up crying because you're sad the little doofus is maturing somewhat. You tell him that and he laughs. Once you’re at his apartment door he’ll grin tiredly and give you a big hug. “Thanks again, aunty y/n.” You probably cry again on the way home bc he actually hugged you. That’s so sentimental omg. That is roughly about what happens every single birthday.

For your birthdays he treats you to ramen and gets you some weird kitchen gadget or something. Figures you’re an adult and they probably need these things. You don't, but you appreciate the gift anyway. 

He buys you flowers every Mother’s Day. It makes you so emotional. You definitely cry. “Awe missus y/n! Not again. You’re so emotional.” He probably starts crying too though lol.

It breaks his heart to see you cry omg. Poor baby is like a lost puppy when you cry. Like not you’re over exaggerated crying, but your said painful crying. Once, after hearing some distressing news about the Akatsuki, you just break down. Naruto has become a son to you after all and you want to protect him so badly, but how can you do that when you’re up against powerful rouge ninjas? You cried in front of him for the when you two were having your weekly dinners at your place, all the sudden you just burst out crying and it hurt him so much because he knew it was because you were so worried about him.

Honestly, he probably ruffles your hair —like you do to him — in attempt to cheer you up. “It’s okay, Aunty y/n. I’ll take care of it, everything will be okay, believe it!”

Oh yah also, speaking of weekly dinners! You guys definitely get together at least once a month or if it’s a good time, once a week to have dinner. We all know Naruto only survives on ramen, so you try and cook him healthy food, but my god he resists so hard. Then you give him that warning look and he chows down that salad so fast lol.

It would be 10/10 he's a great kid

[sagemoderocklee]

Reiteration ❤️ A (but not GaaLee :p) P T

A - Your current OTP(s)/OT3(s)/OTX(s)

oof. okay so aside from GaaLee:

1) ShikaTema 2) NejiTen 3) Kakagai

i think these are the only like three ships i could say i feel strongly enough about that i’d classify them as OTPs. GaaLee honestly gets its own category anyways. im not really active in any other fandoms, and the only other ship I’ve ever felt as strongly about as i have gaalee was really Harry/Draco and well... ya know. Although if i were still super active in CLAMP fandom KuroFai and DouWata would 100000% be up there. And of course the forever and unbeatable Sakura/Shaoran but specifically CCS SakuShao because I think TRC isn’t quite as good with their romance

P - Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas)

oh. that’s. okay we’re answering hard questions tonight i see.

something niche for you and me: new member of your MLM/communist/leftist reading group is Very Cute but very new to MLM/etc and needs extra help to understand the complicated history, theories, etc.

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending, about anything at all (gender identity, sexual or romantic orientation, extended family, sexual preferences like top/bottom/switch, relationship with poetry, seriously anything).

oh god. this is really opening a can of worms lmao and also.... i may have to put this under a cut because god i have so fucking many and some of them may need elaboration.

1. Gaara doesn’t ever take up sleeping/napping post Shukaku

this is something that I know a lot of ppl don’t like/want because everyone wants Gaara to be happy and like big same! but i do think that Gaara’s physiology is entirely altered from Shukaku and the lack of sleep. I feel like having it ingrained in him that he couldn’t sleep, knowing the devastation it would cause, plus all the trauma he has--he’d be plagued by nightmares first of all, and no shinobi is gonna wanna take a sleep aid or something to help them sleep more easily because that would just be a huge opening for someone to attack you. but the other thing is i think it would genuinely make him feel sick. like i know that when i get too little sleep i feel sick because my body needs a certain amount. BUT i also know that those days where im too depressed and don’t get out of bed and sleep too much i ALSO feel like shit. Gaara has lived his entire life without sleep--barring specific instances of forced sleep to release Shukaku--and his body has to have adapted to that. fifteen years of not sleeping there’s no way his body would know what to do with that. his body is so used to subsisting (and this is my own like explanation for how Gaara survived pre and post Shukaku) off of massive quantities of food and by funneling his own chakra into his brain to act as rest, healing, etc.  like i think at this point it’s so unconscious that he isn’t even aware he’s doing it anymore--like breathing. His chakra--which is already another physiological system in their bodies--is just taking up the job of the rest portion of his brain.

that all being said, i do still think this will have an overall affect on his lifespan, but not necessarily his physical or mental health in the immediate sense.

2. Kankuro is straight.

this goes for like all the characters i see as straight, and like i hate like putting this in the like “die defending” category, but there’s this sort of.... sense that when you’re LGBT in fandom you’re gonna see every character as gay and you’re sus/someone’s gonna side eye you if you don’t. like i get the whole ‘well obviously everything is straight and cis IRL, and im sick of it’ reasoning behind “everyone is gay/trans” but the thing is.... I wanna see cis and straight people who support their gay/trans friends and family. I don’t need to live in a world where no one is straight and cis. I need to live in a world where people who are straight and cis actually support and love LGBT people. i personally don’t get anything out of the fantasy of no straight cis people because what does that solve? and what does that say about the homophobia and transphobia within the series? It doesn’t solve or say anything. And quite frankly a series like Naruto is inherently homophobic and transphobic (especially trans misogynistic), and i think brushing that aside with an “everyone’s gay/trans” is more insulting than helpful because it’s not addressing the issue. I’m more invested in seeing the characters who aren’t LGBT supporting and loving and working to make the world better for their LGBT friends, family, and community.

like i know not everyone is writing/reading fanfiction or art or what have you in fandom for like realism or whatever, i get the whole escapism of it all, but i approach it this way because for me I just don’t get anything out of pretending that the -isms and -phobias within the series don’t exist.

also straight trans people exist?????

i could go on about this--like some characters are just... not good and i don’t wanna claim that as LGBT because of that--but like i think this is the biggest thing for me at the end of the day: seeing ppl who aren’t LGBT supporting LGBT ppl.

3. Gaara is a polyglot. Also, he’s self-taught in just about everything. He spent most of his youth in the Suna library for obvious reasons, so reading, writing, language, poetry, history, politics, arts, etc he learned there on his own.

4. Shikamaru and Temari live in Suna 6 months out of the year, and Konoha the other 6. Temari does NOT give up her job to be a nagging wife, and Shikamaru is 100% a wife man.

5. Lee is not originally from Konoha or Fire. He doesn’t remember his parents or how he wound up at a Konoha orphanage because trauma. Also his first language isn’t Japanese.

I have more specific HCs about who Lee’s parents are, where he came from, and what happened to his parents, but that’s like spoilers for a fic.

6. Tenten is not an outright orphan. She actually comes from a clan of weapons masters and smiths.

I think it’s fairly common for ppl to assume Tenten is an orphan because we obviously never see her family--granted we just don’t see much of her to begin with--but I personally fell in love with the idea of her having a clan with the focus being weapons. Her parents are still dead, but she lives with her grandmother, who’s renowned for her weapons.

7. Lee has a HUGE amount of chakra. Like obnoxiously huge stores of it that he just doesn’t know how to manipulate--not quite Kisame levels, but definitely a LOT. He gets as far as walking on water and walls, but he absolutely has to be focused to accomplish those feats and prefers just going really fast so he doesn’t fall in/off.

8. Sage mode!Rock Lee.

I have talked about this before(x, x), but you can absolutely pry this from my cold dead hands--actually, you couldn’t. I’d still hold on to this even in death.

9. Lee has like a photographic memory which is why he always writes things down that people tell him.

10. Gaara will be the last Kazekage--whoever comes after him (and i do have a HC for that) will be Kazekage only in the sense that they’re like the figurehead maybe, but ultimately Gaara is working to completely change the shinobi way of life and the Kage system will be dismantled starting with Suna/Gaara.

11. In a modern AU context, Lee is a HUGE fan of Queen and Bruce Lee.

12. Lee definitely grows his hair out later on in life and changes up his attire and becomes his own person.

13. The Kazekage Estate is a generation home--most households in Suna are, and in fact, it’s really fucking weird for someone not to live in a generational home--so Gaara lives there with his siblings. When Temari gets married, she and Shikamaru live there, and continue to do so when they have kids. If Kankuro has a kid (and a spouse), they’ll live there too. Lee eventually moves in. The house is always filled with love. When Gai visits with Kakashi, or when Tenten and Neji visit, they stay there too.

[misku-nimfa]

3, 10, and 15 for the salt asks if you haven’t already answered them.

Meme is over here for anyone who wants to give it a look ^.^

3. Have you ever unfollowed someone over a fandom opinion.

Kind of. Answered here.

10. Most disliked arc? Why?

The Kaguya Arc in Naruto has to be right up there with the Renesme bs in Twilight for my most disliked arc of all time. Mostly because it took the core reason I got into Naruto, a series about an underdog who succeeds because of his boundless compassion, and finishes ripping it to shreds. As much fun as we make of Therapy no Jutsu™, there's something genuinely uplifting about a series that isn't afraid to say that caring makes a difference. While the Kaguya Arc is about how legacies are the heart of everything and that success is determined by your power. On top of having no narrative build up! It doesn't matter that she fits in with the Japanese mythology inspired world building of the entire series if every chapter before her reveal was setting up Zetsu, Madara, Obito, and MAYBE Danzo to be playing Xantos Chess with each other and no hint that there might be a FIFTH player behind the scenes playing them all! Wait-I forgot Orochimaru! SIX! There are already five characters actively working to out scheme each other! Kaguya being the SIXTH brings NOTHING new to the table! A good twist isn't one nobody could have seen coming, it's one that recontextualizes everything so well that everyone wonders how they didn't see it coming! Kaguya didn't do that! Zetsu being motivated to bring back his mother doesn't work as a foil because the only major character who's even kind of motivated by his parents is Kakashi who is seriously affected by his father's suicide in the name of the village. AND even then! The framing of him being affected by the shunning and foiling that with Obito's shunning, along with the on going foil between him and Obito on their loyalty (or lack there of) to Konoha, visions for the future, and methods make Zetsu as a possible foil Kakashi look terrible in comparison! The cosmology of the Sage of Six Paths being her son who created the tailed beasts by sealing them in himself and then breaking them up had some potential, that immediately got set on fire by having his older son be the father of all evil (and the Uchiha clan) and his younger be the father of all good (and the Senju clan). Not only does that reduce the complex background of fedual wars and mutual animosity into good v evil, BUT it also cements the nose dive of legacy as end all be all. I don't care if you like those tropes, they weren't what I came to Naruto for! And the actual fights! Zombie Zetsus was decently set up with the bringing Obito back from the brink of death, cannibalism jokes, and association with graves and dirt. Even if using a monster that is usually a metaphor about the horror of the amalgamated other as one of your final villains in a fairly pro-assimilation story is a pretty odd choice. But Pod People Zetsus is just-maybe if the actually got used in a meaningful way. But they weren't! Naruto just goes "Sage Mode!" And automatically relays who's real and who's a Zetsu! Naruto didn't need a new reason to be special! He's one of the two people needed to seal Kaguya because of super legacy bullshit of being the reincarnation of the father of all good! Which gets into the power creep issue! Naruto already had a problem of solving new problems with a training montage or flashback followed by a "hit it harder" style power up. Hardly unique to the series, but not exactly a small issue either. Then comes the Kaguya Arc. And it goes up to eleven. What's better than Kyubi or Sage Mode, Kyubi Sage Mode! What's better than dedicating chapters to training for new skills or having the training for those skills happen off screen? Ignoring that we said sealing was a complicated artform and having Naruto know it without my explanation in time to seal our series big bad! Like, if this was a rough draft I'd be lining it red and telling the author to either rework the final arc around one of the villains that they had already built up or to rework the entire series with better build up for the character, themes, and conflict that they are set on having as the capstone for the series!

Also annoyed that, despite promises out side the series that Sakura would do more and the fact that Sakura DID get to punch Kaguya in the final fight with her and Team Seven, Sakura wasn't a bigger presence. But at least THAT fit in with the series as a whole 🤷‍♀️

15. Unpopular opinion about the manga/show?

Also answered here, but I am a bit of an opinionated bitch so it's not like I'm short on options. As much as I love Inuyasha, and as much as a part of me will always be my 13 year old SesRin shipper self, I hate that YashaHime made it canon. Not cause I hate how the show handles their dynamic (I've only gotten summaries of the show so far-that's way to soon too know how it's handling much), but because a huge part of what's going on in a next generation sequel is how did the canon characters fuck up as parents. And that always sours my feelings towards those ships, even if it's only slightly.

I had a lot of fun with these! I hope you enjoy reading them even half as much as I enjoyed writing them ^.^

[mexcraziness-art]

Naruto OC: Naegi “Hanako” Hatake

This took way too long to make, but you guys have no idea how happy I am! I'm actually proud of it! I had like 13 Naruto OCs, when I was 10 years old, eventually I removed them from Naruto and gave them their own story... and now I started rewatching Naruto at 22 and I made like 8 NEW OCs, Hanako, a Kakayama fankid being the first of the bunch! Yes there's more to come... eventually. NOW, as for Hanako:

Name: Naegi „Hanako” Hatake Birthdate: August 30. (Virgo) Gender: Female Age: 11 Height: 145 cm Weight: 41 kg Blood Type: A Kekkei Genkai: Wood Release Affiliation: Konohagakure Rank: -

Nature Type:

   -          Wood Release

   -          Lightning Release

Parents:

   -          Tenzo

   -          Kakashi Hatake

Background:

Naegi was created as part of one of Orochimaru’s experiment projects. He mixed people’s DNA together to create new life, but he abandoned the project before it was completed. Tenzo found Naegi in the abandoned lab on a solo mission, about a year after he joined Kakashi’s team in Anbu. He found she was a mix of his and Kakashi’s DNA, because Orochimaru hoped to create another successful Mokuton wielder with the Hatake Clan’s chakra density. Tenzo felt a connection with her, and asked The Third Hokage to leave her in his care, as they’re essentially the closest thing either of them has to having a family. The Third Hokage allowed him to keep her and look after her in complete secrecy, even from Kakashi. For a long time Tenzo viewed her just as someone related to him who shares his origins, and he didn’t want her to go through the same things he did. However as she grew he started to think of her more as his daughter. She grew up mostly alone, as Tenzo was constantly away on missions. When she was about 3 years old, after the Uchiha Masacre, Kinoto showed up at their home, trying to reconcile with Tenzo. Of course Tenzo didn’t trust him at all, afraid Danzo had sent him and he made sure he won’t find out about Naegi’s existence. Still giving him a chance he slowly let him into his life and it was working out for a while. Until Naegi accidentally revealed herself to Kinoto a couple of months later. After Tenzo threatened Kinoto on his life, Naegi and Kinoto actually got along great relatively fast. He quickly became sort of a Step-Father/Uncle figure to her.

Soon after that she used the Mokuton for the first time, (making flowers sprout and bloom around her, hence earning her the nickname Hanako) which left Tenzo in more than his fair share of despair. He hoped she didn’t inherit the Mokuton and wouldn’t have to face the same life he does. He begged Hiruzen not to force her into the Shinobi life when the time comes, which he allowed but only if she gets homeschooled regardless and Tenzo teaches her how to use the Mokuton just in case. Which was working out for a short while, until Danzo found out about her existence, and kidnapped her. Tenzo was livid. He entered Sage mode for the first time, and turned the Foundation base inside out, and with Kinoto help he got Hanako back. After that Kinoto had completley earned back Tenzo’s trust and place in their family. After all this, Tenzo grew overprotective of her, and didn’t really let her out anymore, specially not alone, fearing the Mokuton put too big of a target on her back. Tenzo and Kinoto trained her the following years, her only friend was Konohomaru and his gang who once accidentally dropped in their garden when she was 8 years old. She was around the same age when Tenzo told her of her real origins, Kakashi, the founding of Konoha and the significance of the Mokuton. She decided she wants to become a shinobi, despite Tenzo’s worries, to protect that legacy and the people who sacrificed for it. Tenzo waved off the idea, telling her she doesn’t need to become a shinobi to do that. That didn’t deter her, she upped her studies and training, even occasionally sneaking out to watch the other kids at the Academy.

Years passed this way, Tenzo and Kinoto training her, even after Kinoto and Tenzo had split up, they remained close. She was 11 years old when Tenzo (by now working with Team 7) went on a special mission with Kakashi and three others. Kinoto showed up at their home at the crack of dawn to tell Hanako that Tenzo is in the hospital, badly hurt, but stable. They were ambushed on their way back home from the mission, the other three died and Kakashi was still missing. Desperate, because she wanted to meet Kakashi ever since she found out about her other father, and because she knew how much Kakashi meant to Tenzo, she stole an Anbu gear, Tenzo’s Anbu mask, and sneaked out to find Kakashi herself.

Personality:

Hanako took a lot after Tenzo, naturally, having grown-up with him. She’s generally cheerful, kind, calm and collected, quick both in mind and on her feet. She’s also ambitious, and stubborn, relentlesly training and working towards her goal of becomming a shinobi one day, to protect her loved ones and the legacy she’s left with. She’s proud of her abilities and skills. She’s also overly concious of the weight of the Mokuton, which also leaves her overconfident and arrogant at times. She knows she’s more skilled than most kids her age, which also leads her letting her guard down more easily. Because there’s so few of them she’s also incredibly loyal and devoted to her family and the people in her life. However she also tends to get emotional and impulsive when family and friendship matters are on the table. Because Tenzo, Kinoto, and occasionally Konohamaru are the only people she ever knew she has trouble connecting with new people, unsure how to approach them and how to behave around others. In these situations she usually reverts back to the one thing she’s sure of, her skills and her pride in those skills, so she usually comes across more arrogant and smug (even though she IS smug) to new people. However outside of training, around people she knows, she’s carefree and playful, she likes to play pranks on Kinoto, trying to catch him off guard. She’s also gets easily frustated and annoyed when her skills and abilies are questioned, Tenzo not letting her attend the Academy and become a shinobi is an age-old constant conflict between them that she refuses to let go of and frustates her beyond reason.

Relationships:

Tenzo: Even if he was absent for most of Hanako’s childhood, after he began training her, they grew very close. They’re in-tune with eachother’s emotions and thoughts, they’re essentially on the same wave-lenght about most things. They can always tell when the other is bothered by something or is in a bad mood, they also share a sense of humor, both of them love to creep out others and occasionally play pranks on them. Hanako is extremely loyal and grateful to Tenzo, for everything he’s done for her, in a way she feels she owes him, specially after he tells her their shared origins. Because of this she’s pretty protective of him and his reputation and gets frustated when he doesn’t get the recognition he deserves. The only, and biggest source of conflict between them, which only gets worse as Hanako grows older, is Tenzo’s overprotective nature. She wants nothing more than prove herself and become a shinobi to protect her family like they protected her, which Tenzo denies time and time again. Whenever they fight about it, it leaves both of them bitter and frustated, but they usually make-up in a few hours. They both understand where the other is comming from, Hanako knows why Tenzo is so worried about her, and Tenzo understands why Hanako wants to get out there but neither of them is willing to back down.

Kinoto: After Tenzo, Hanako is probably the closest with Kinoto. They easily clicked and got along when she was little, and he quickly grew to be sort of a Step-Father/Uncle figure to her. She usually confides in him with her frustrations about Tenzo’s overprotectiveness. She also enjoys training with him more, because they always have little playful challenges between them, he never pulls his punches against her, but most importantly she doesn’t feel the need to impress him, like she does when training with Tenzo.

Konohamaru: She considers Konohamaru a friend, but more of a „that wierd kid who occasionally drops by” kind of friend. They usually just chat and hang whenever Konohamaru comes by, and he usually tells her whatever’s going around in the village, he’s her main connection to the outside world, and even if she wouldn’t admit it, she grew quite fond of him as the years passed. There’s a friendly rivalry between them, they spar whenever one of them learns a new technique, Konohamaru to show off, and Hanako to prove, she’s just as good as him, despite not being an official shinobi.

Abilities: Her skills are generally above average for her age. Had she attented the Academy, she would be well on her way to becomming a Chunnin. Having been raised and trained by Anbu, she’s fairly skilled in Taijutsu and Kenjutsu. What she lacks in physical strength she makes up in speed. She’s fast both in mind, and on her feet. She’s specially skilled with swords, however she always preffered daggers and kunais.

Ninjutsu: She can perform all the basic jutsu Genin are capable of, like the Clone Jutsu and Substitution Jutsu.

Wood Release: She discovered she can use Wood Release when she was almost 4 years old. For a long time all she could do was grow flowers, and make plants around her bloom, which earned her the nickname Hanako. As the years and her trainings progressed, she quickly caught on. According to Tenzo she has a real talent for it and with time she could become a real force of nature. A strange thing about her Mokuton, is that she’s unable to use Earth and Water Release seperatley, she has both inside of her, but she’s completley unable to use them, only when she combines them into Wood Release. She’s also unable to heal herself even with the Mokuton, only her smaller bruises and cuts heal faster than normal.

By age of 11, she’s able to use the following Wood Release techniques:

   -          Wood Clone Technique: She can only make one, it generally takes a great effort for her to maintain for a longer period of time.

   -          Transmission Wood

   -          Wood Release: Transformation

   -          Wood Release: Hand Tool Manipulation

   -          Wood Release: Wood Locking Wall

   -          Wood Release: Four-Pillar House Technique: Her buildings are not even nearly as grand as Tenzo’s, but she can make a mean tree house.

   -          

Lightning Release: At age of 11, she’s currently unable to use any Lightning Release jutsus, however she can build up lightning chakra inside of her, and zap whoever she touches.

Other Skills:

She has sensory abilities, she hadn’t discovered yet, she’s able to have a vauge sense of people through plants and other vegetation.

Weaknesses: Her general weakness lies in her impulsiveness and pride. When her pride or reputation is on the line, she rushes into situations and puts too much faith in her Mokuton and easily lets her guard down, leaving herself open to attacks. She doesn’t know when to back down, specially when the issue/conflict is personal, it easily clouds her judgement. She also has troubles with chakra control that incredibly frustates her. She always uses up way more chakra than neccesary, which leaves her quickly exhausted. Me: *Has over 29 pages of notes on OCs* Man, I better not write too much, or it'll be incomprehensible and boring : / Also me: Dumbs and shortens down everything so much it becomes incomprehensible and boring ANYWAYS, I hope I didn't forget anything crucial, I might add some things here and there, like a fun facts segment or something, I haven't decided for sure yet, this is probably it for now.

Art by @mexcraziness-art​

Naegi “Hanako” Hatake belongs to @mexcraziness-art​

Naruto belongs to  Masashi Kishimoto

[depressedkakashihatake]

I don't understand why people continue doing posts about Naruto having troubles with his paperwork when he's Hokage. That poor boy was left living alone and Iruka was probably the only person in the entire village who tried to really teach him something.

In the first episode he takes hours to learn only one jutsu from the stolen scroll, probably because he can't read very well and because he has the attention span of a goldfish, we never see him writing a mission report so Kakashi probably never helped him get better.

We see that he has problems in learning theory when Kakashi tries to teach him how to train the Rasengan more, and we see that he learns better if he has something to do and not something to just listen to instead.

He's Hokage but he probably still has problems with reading and writing, he clearly has ADHD that probably no one ever acknowledged in his entire life and I don't think Kurama can be of much help.

Someone cut him some slacks, that poor boy needs it.

Dude Naruto is not the only one who had problems with paperwork and he’s certainly not the only one i like to poke fun at about it. Tsunade straight up avoided paperwork (although we do see she gets it done we KNOW it’s mostly because Shizune was on her ass about it) and Hashirama...there’s no way i will ever belive that man did paperwork in his life. 

Kakashi is also an avid avoider of paperwork, but he’s a quick reader and actually likes to sit there for hours reading (though i doubt paperwork is his favorite thing to read) so he is just able to do it a lot faster than (i think) any of his predicesors and thus he doesn’t have piles of paperwork because it doesn’t last long with him (i mean...we saw how much paperwork he had when he first became hokage. i am not going to belive that was ALL just from him becoming hokage. Tsunade knew how to hide her paperwork so it looked done)

That being said, yes we know Naruto has problems. Kakashi tells him to use the Shadow clones particularly so that he can learn the rasangan (and later sage mode) faster because it’s a way to help make up for Naruto’s disadvantage. Honestly, i’m surprised we don’t see him use the shadow clones with his paperwork??? i think Kishi just wants to portray him as over exhausted. But also...Shikamaru is right there? Why is he not helping?

I’m sorry if it offends you. I’m not trying to make fun of Naruto for his ability to think. He may not be a reader or a tactical genius, but Naruto make’s up for that in a lot of ways and Paperwork is about the only thing he’s not good at with being a Hokage (where as for Kakashi, he wasn’t the strongest in his village. that was Naruto) 

We also see that Naruto needs a lot more guidance because of his issues with not just paperwork, but diplomatic things. Kakashi didn’t just retire and piss off. He hung around to help Naruto adjust and learn because he knew Naruto would need the extra hand. 

This doesn’t at all take away from Naruto’s ability as Hokage or as a leader in general, it’s just a roadblock he has always had to get over. And unfortunately it’s a roadblock that will always be there and i think it’s the best representation of someone who has been really screwed by the system because Naruto doesn’t magically ‘get smarter’. He didn’t become a Jonin because of the reading and learning that involved and that didn’t stop him from becoming hokage. 

Naruto is a kid who struggled a lot to get where he is and he absolutly deserves to be where he is. The only down side to his job is that it involves a lot of paperwork which is something that Naruto will simply never be good at and because of it he is constantly exhausted and overworked. One thing i wish Kishi would do is allow Shikamaru to actually help with Naruto’s paperwork, because as his advisor and right hand man he’d be reading/knowing about a lot of the things Naruto is dealing with in the paperwork anyways. So if Shikamaru helped Naruto may still be exhausted because he’s just...not good with paperwork, but at least his office wouldn’t be a mess of paperwork.

Though i take offense to ‘iruka is the only person who tried to teach Naruto anything’. Kakashi isn’t the best teacher and i know this and have talked at great length about it, but he found Naruto a way to get around his road block. He saw what Naruto’s ability to produce countless shadowclones could do for Naruto’s ability to grow faster and learn, and he taught Naruto about it so that Naruto could have an easier time becoming stronger at the same pace at others.

Kakashi sat there and saw a kid struggling and found him at least some way to make his life and learning just a BIT easier. Do not act like that means nothing. Kakashi taught Naruto and he helped him learn more about himself and how to help himself. 

[depressedhatakekakashi]

I wanted to know your opinion of this comment that I found on YouTube: "naruto could of ace all the fights he's been in if he was appropriately trained and not neglected by everyone Kakashi never cared about Naruto in the sense of student-teacher he only cared about Sasuke and his growth that's why he told guy he was just like him, Kakashi only focused on Sasuke growth and never trained sakura and naruto like other sense do you see this when naruto trainers under pervy sage more and sakura under Tsunade and they both show explosive growth", I wanted to know if at any point you felt that Kakashi was negligent with Naruto in the first part of the anime. Imo that person saw Naruto with his ass, also I feel that they don't know what it is to be negligent..

Kakashi did not neglect Naruto’s training

Neglect means ‘looks at Naruto, shrugs his shoulders and does absolutly nothing’

Kakashi knew he needed to hyper focus on Sasuke’s trianing in the chunin exam (the only time he put any one student’s training over the others) because Sasuke was facing gaara. Gaara, the guy who almost murdered Lee in their fight.

Even recognizing he needed to focus on Sasuke more in that moment, Kakashi went and found Naruto a sensei for the time. Not just any sensei, but the best sensei in the village. Ebisu was a Jonin based soly on his teaching abilities (his fighting capabilities are chunin level at best from what we see and he’s not even a part of the war, which would require all hands on deck)

He chose Ebisu because Ebisu’s specific teaching capabilities were with chakra control, something Naruto needed a lot of help with. Ebisu was only replaced cuz Jiraiya knocked him out for calling him out on being a creepy perv (ebisu is a perv but he doesn’t spy on women at least.)

When Naruto went to train with Jiraiya it was about protecting naruto. The akatsuki was after him and the best place for him to be was under the protection of a Sannin (aka Jiraiya). Naruto spent two years training (mostly on his own from what we see) and had a huge amount of growth. This was not Jiraiya’s training as we really don’t see him actually train naruto. It was Naruto’s determination to grow stronger and train on his own

Sakura is the only one that’s a little allowable and that’s straight up to kishi neglecting her even though she’s the main female. She should have been sasuke and Naruto’s equal at the end but they got god status buffs while she did not. It’s sexism pure and simple and no amount if training from Kakashi or Tsunade was going to save her on that front.

The problem is a lot of the training is skipped. Sakura is said to have grown a lot as a shinobi between becoming a genin and fighting in the chunin exams. This was due to Kakashi’s training. Same with Naruto. Both of them grew much more confident and powerful under Kakashi’s teaching, we just don’t see any of it. It’s all skipped over for the big important missions so Naruto and his team can show off.

Had Naruto and Sakura been the exact same level as when they graduated, they would have died. Naruto against Haku (were it was sasuke and the kyubi chakra that saved him from getting his ass kicked) and Sakura in the chunin exams.

Sakura stood against three foes and not only didn’t die, but held up long enough for help to arrive. She even tricked said foes into falling into one of her traps she set to protect the boys.

Naruto also improved exponentially specificlly because of Kakashi’s teaching. Without Kakashi telling him about using the shadow clones to train and retain info faster, Naruto would not have grown as quickly as he did.

He would not have made his rasenshuriken in under a week

He would not have achieved sage mode by the time pein attacked Konoha

He would have stull grown, but at a much slower pace. It was Kakashi’s genius and use if Naruto’s specific skills and chakra abundence that allowed Baruto to go from the level he achieved under Jiraiya’s training, straight to sage mode. A perfect sage mode, which not even Jiraiya had been able to achieve (and which minato achieved but couldn’t use the same because it took him so long to activate)

And well, yes, Kakashi didn’t teach Sakura as much as he should have he DID teach her. Only sakura knew the qi release on team seven, a jonin rank technique. Kakashi pointed out her impressive chakra control and skill with genjutsu. Kakashi was the one who talked up her skills to Tsunade. Kakashi paid attention but he was also being pulled between ‘angsty kid hyper focused on revenge’ and ‘ticking tomb bomb who refuses to listen to anyone but his own feelings’. There was really no hope for sakura as long as she had to share a team with those two boys

Anyone saying Kakashi only payed attention to Sasuke 1) ignored the context of the story 2) ignored every instance he focused on the others.

[fox-mother]

Kushina has two roads that her path as an Edo Tensei could follow. She could be summoned by the allies but severely restricted due to their limited knowledge of the jutsu or she could be summoned by Kabuto in cahoots with Madara and Obito, granting her all but full use of her abilities again. It depends on the circumstances surrounding her summoning. Before I go more in-depth with that, I would like to discuss her abilities as a whole so we can get an idea of what she gets back as an Edo Tensei.

Abilities:

Sealing

Kushina boasts many tantalising abilities for both sides. The most obvious is her prowess with sealing. She has more knowledge than the entire Sealing Corps of the Allied Shinobi Forces (hereby known as the ASF) combined. She can neutralise pretty much every single seal they could possibly formulate, she can remove Minato's hiraishin seals and, thanks to her research, she can remove or alter Tobirama's hiraishin seals.

Taijutsu

She has some of the best taijutsu skills outside of those who use the Eight Inner Gates. Kushina could go mano a mano against a fully-powered Gai and come out victorious. Of course, she also has the advantage of being exceptionally strong and quick of her own volition. She could- potentially- take on the ASF on her own or with maybe the help of a clone. This would be a useful tool for either side.

Kurama (Yin Half Only)

If Kushina's death was due to the Kyūbi after she sealed him within herself and her son- upon Minato's request- she would be reanimated with the ability to form the chakra cloak like is observed with Minato in canon. However, due to her intimate knowledge of the fox and how he worked, Kushina would be able to use his abilities far easier than Minato and with more success. 

Sage Mode

One of the few abilities that go unknown by the ASF and Madara, Obito and Kabuto, Kushina would be able to use her Sage Mode to enhance her already powerful abilities. Activating this again for the first time in 17 years would also reactivate her summoning contract with the toads. This would allow her to summon Gamaton- her toad summon- for the first time in that same period. The number of unique abilities that Kushina displays would also ensure that she's a hard opponent to predict.

Chakra Chains

The last major ability I will focus on, her chakra chains could prove to be a help to either side. Considering that they can seal, defend, attack and neutralise without ever really needing to change forms. Strong enough to withstand a full-strength Tailed Beast Bomb from even the Ten-Tails, she could use them to protect the ASF or protect Madara and Obito on the battlefield from the ASF and their attacks. With her infinite chakra reserves, Kushina could have these active indefinitely and she could have as many as she wanted to have active due to there being no real risk to her if she did so.

Now, with that out of the way, let us move on to discussing the two paths I mentioned earlier. 

Path 1

A pawn of the ASF, Kushina is revived by Orochimaru after being cut from the stomach of the shinigami alongside the First, Second and Third Hokages. After questioning Orochimaru, Kushina and the Hokage all depart to the battlefield, Kushina utilising her husbands hiraishin network as she does. She arrives first and observes the battlefield from afar before making an entrance alongside the other Hokage, who have caught up at this point. Kushina is the one who protects the allies with her chakra chains, rebounding the Tailed Beast Bomb back at the Ten-Tails. Upon reuniting with her husband and son, Kushina is immediately thrust into the role of protector once more as she single-handedly forms the Four Red Yang Formation using pre-placed seals. 

Using her chakra chains, Kushina helps Hashirama pin down the Ten-Tails. She also manages to neutralise the Truth-Seeking Balls, being the one to jump in the way of Gai to protect him. She was able to bypass the Truth-Seeking Orbs by pumping herself full of Sage Chakra beforehand. Pretty much everything plays out the same, except Minato is taken with Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura, Obito and Kakashi when they dimension hop while Kushina stays with the other Hokage. Kushina helps resummon them back to the planet again and is allowed to finally have a proper talk with them.

Hagoromo takes her aside and tells her that- while he cannot restore her to life- he can allow her to stick around if she wants to. She takes him up on this offer and is allowed to remain behind with Minato and Naruto, preventing Minato from following Naruto and Sasuke when their fight breaks out. She also protects the Yin half of Kurama that she was still holding onto- having prevented the extraction of the Yang half from Naruto. They reunite with their son again after the battle and continue to stay with him until Minato steps down and they go travelling.  

This is the ideal path that is taken but it isn't the only one. 

Path 2

The second path sees her being summoned by Kabuto before Itachi and Sasuke visit him. She is promptly thrust onto the battlefield, armed with one of the many Uzumaki Fūinjutsu scrolls that could be salvaged from the Uzumaki Storage Temples. At this time, she is under mostly Kabuto's control with a lot of her abilities being ignored or just not used, instead, he uses her to release the seals that are placed on his other Edo Tensei pawns. She just accepts this because what good is it going to do to fight back? It isn't like she could even if she wanted to. 

Meanwhile, Madara is engaging in combat with the Kage. Kabuto sends her to back him up, even if the Uchiha tells him that backup is not needed. Kabuto manages to force Kushina into activating her chakra chains to stop Tsunade from breaking Madara's Susanoo ribcage. The chains wrap around the Susanoo just in time to prevent it from breaking and then retreat when there is no more threat, alerting the Kage to her presence. Madara swiftly deals with them while they're distracted by Kushina. 

When Kabuto is forced into releasing the Edo Tensei, Madara forces Kushina to release herself from his control- much like Madara does- so that she can continue being of use to him. An Uzumaki is a good ally to have, especially one who seems to be especially talented with Fūinjutsu. They continue onto the main battlefield, facing off against the ASF with little trouble. Meeting up with Obito, who Kushina punches in the face almost at once, they continue with their plan. However, the plan changes drastically when Kushina senses her husband and son on the battlefield. She knows that Minato has probably sensed her by now and the fox would have given Naruto a heads up about her as well. Kushinas immediate reaction is to stiffen up in surprise before staring right at them from where she is atop the Ten-Tails. Taking note of this, the two Uchiha try eliminating the threat of them both but Kushina- being a devoted wife and mother first and foremost- stops them. She decides to join the ASF after much deliberation but not after severely wounding the Ten-Tails with a well-aimed landing on its head. 

(For context: Kushina would leap from the Ten-Tails into the air before rocketing back to the ground fast enough to slam into the Ten-Tails. This causes it to hit the ground with enough force to shatter the land for miles around it. This would have temporarily disabled the Ten-Tails long enough for the ASF to mobilise and contain it. They are not able to seal it away but they can put their plan into action while Madara and Obito are getting the Ten-Tails back in working order.)

No matter what they do, they're unsuccessful and Project Tsuki no Me is put into full effect. The only difference is that Kushina joins them and saves Obitos life. A bit of Talk no Jutsu from everyone's favourite fox mama would help convince Obito and Kakashi to join forces, allowing them to use the Susanoo in a similar way Kakashi does in canon. Everything with Kaguya plays out pretty much the same way from there, except Sakura plays a slightly bigger role in her defeat than she does in canon. They're brought back to the normal world and Kushina gets to speak with Minato and Naruto. They both stick around and Kushina helps reinstate Minatos regenerative abilities while Naruto goes off to fight Sasuke. 

So, as you can see, Kushina ends up following a similar path towards the end no matter what. However, the experiences of being on both sides have changes and consequences on the story as a whole. This is especially true in the case of Path 2, in which the most changes occur.

[fourangers]

Perhaps, in the end, it’s fate (END)

Summary: With one different tilt of the destiny, many other paths can be unfolded. However, there would be always an automatic pull between them since they share an interchangeable fate.

Warnings in this chapter: some blood and villain’s death.

It's ninjaverse AU, completely different timeline. Teacher!Naruto, father!Sasuke, lil!Sarada with a harmless crush on Nardo. No prior pairings with Sasuke (and Naruto btw) because babies can be created through power of SCIENCE! (or in this case, Orochimaru’s experiments).

Based on February prompt from Sun and Moon Challenge, check it out once you can! SNS, T-rated. Comedy and Romance.

AO3 link | ffnet link

-.-.-.-.-

1st chapter here

Naruto had rather liked that evening with the Uchihas. They were a very pleasant company, despite the huge difference in personality between him and Sasuke. The latter must have shared this same opinion because from that day, he began picking Sarada in her classroom instead of making her wait at the entrance of the school, so they could spend some hours talking before they would go home.

However, now that Sasuke picked his daughter every day, Naruto could notice some small oddities. Most kids had their mother and their father switching days between them to pick them up, other days their big brother or big sister would be there. Well, it made sense Sasuke would be the only one for Sarada since he was a single father, but considering the hectic schedule of ninja missions, not all parents could follow a regular pattern in their daily chores.

Naruto saw Sasuke organizing the report files while sprinting around the Hokage room and everything clicked.

“Hey Sasuke!” Naruto exclaimed, ignoring the curious glances thrown in his direction. Sasuke nodded politely back, hands sorting the thick stack of papers.

It must be pretty boring though, having a 9 to 5 desk job even if it’s for a good reason. Back when they were still genins, Neji mentioned how Sasuke always sought dangerous missions to improve his ninjutsu, so it must have been pretty frustrating being tasked with such mind numbing bureaucratic work.

“Wanna spar?” He blurted out before he could stop himself.

Sasuke halted his chores midway, staring back at him with a raised eyebrow.

"I mean⏤" He felt his face heating up, so he explained. "Lee once said you're good in taijutsu, I wanted to try out if it's true."

"It's still working hours, I don't think I can." Sasuke snorted, placing the organized papers on the table.

"Actually, you can Sasuke. Training is counted as an approved activity in the job description. You can go." Kakashi muttered, waving his hand in dismissal.

Gai smiled, glancing between Naruto and Sasuke. "Hey Kakashi, that means my ex-student is going to spar against your ex-student! I'm confident about Naruto's abilities, we should make a bet right?"

Kakashi considered, then said. "You're right. I bet 5000 ryos on Naruto."

If looks could kill, Kakashi would have been buried 100 feet underground.

The Hokage closed his eye in lazy amusement, replying. "You've done nothing but pressing paper for over four years Sasuke, so forgive me when I think you've gotten rusty."

Gai was a little abashed, scratching his head. "Well, this assessment is not really fair when Sasuke used to be such a bright youth right? So I'm betting 5000 ryos on him."

"So...let's get going?" Naruto mumbled, before the conversation between their former teachers would get heated. Sasuke confirmed with a shrug and a short nod.

They agreed to train in some wide spot Team 7 used to go for practice. With his fingers laced together as he raised his arms up, Naruto observed Sasuke also making his own stretching exercises. Maybe he needed to go easy on Sasuke after all, since Kakashi was right, he was really out of practice.

"So you prefer taijutsu only, nothing else?" Sasuke asked, cracking his knuckles.

Naruto studied him, then shrugged. "Nah, I think we can try out everything in our arsenal."

"No holds barred?"

Naruto chuckled. "I mean, maybe. As long as we don't go too far ya know."

"Hn." One blink, Sasuke disappeared.

All his instincts rushed to his body and Naruto raised his kunai to parry shurikens raining towards his head. He jumped backwards, deflecting few blows, metallic clashes in midst of grunts and heavy breathing. His reflexes were quick to make him dodge a fireball, somersaulting as he made his signature move and multiplied himself to a dozen.

From afar he saw Sasuke pausing for a moment, reconsidering the situation as he disappeared once again. Naruto registered his clone from the farthest right disappearing, also recollecting the memory of the Uchiha activating his doujutsu Sharingan.

Cursing to himself, two of his clones threw Water jutsu on Sasuke’s direction, though he evaded with almost nothing but few droplets reaching his hair. This gave him an opening to deliver an upper kick that Sasuke defended with his arm, both seasoned shinobis using taijutsu, their limbs moving in synch that it looked like a choreographed dance.

It’s been too long since Naruto had so much fun sparring with anyone, exerting to the limits of himself, demanding to use every skill in his arsenal. Every fiber of his body was solely concentrated in this fight that he didn’t realize the wide grin stretching on his lips, mirroring with Sasuke’s hitched smirk.

Sasuke managed to dispel on of his clones with a kick, throwing electric needles to eliminate other two. Naruto used this moment to drill a Rasengan on his back.

Sasuke poofed away.

Naruto had less than a second to be indignant that the Uchiha actually used his jutsu against him (his jutsu dammit!), nimble hand signs effectively conjured a water snake that drenched Sasuke from head to toe. He didn’t had enough time to gloat towards the venomous glare before the hair on the back of his neck stood up and he looked upwards.

An ominous thunderclap echoed in the forest as lightning gathered on Sasuke’s hand, while he was perched on a tree. He jumped, aiming his jutsu towards Naruto and his brain worked miles per second. Naruto bit his thumb, summoning two massive frogs. While those two frogs were occupied fighting Sasuke, he fell into a meditative position, the nature’s energy gathering around him and giving a reddish hue on his eyebrows. When Sasuke activated his jutsu again, fingers inching dangerously close to his body, Naruto deflected with one hand clutching Sasuke’s hand and dispelling the Chidori, his other hand charging till the tip of his kunai pierced lightly the pale neck.

He was also aware another Sasuke behind him, katana positioned on his waist.

“Give up dumbass, I have the advantage.” Sasuke grunted, the pointy metal breaking his skin and letting it fall a droplet of blood.

“No, this is a tie. This Sasuke behind me is a clone.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“You really think I wouldn’t know my own jutsu, bastard? C’mon.” Naruto beamed mischievously.

Sasuke thinned his lips, narrowing his eyes. “Fine. Truce for now.”

Naruto guarded his weapons as he returned to his standard body position, while Sasuke also relaxed his limbs. Crimson eyes were still activated, three tomoes spinning. Naruto took this opportunity to peruse closer.

“What?” Sasuke growled, noticing the curious blue eyes.

“Oh, nothing. It’s been a while since I saw the Sharingan so up close. So that’s how you copied my bunshin jutsu right?”

Sasuke nodded.

“That’s really cool.” Naruto muttered in awe, Sasuke stiffened before rolling his eyes.

Since Sasuke appeared to be willing to be scrutinized despite being a little off put, Naruto observed all details on his iris. He only used to see back when Team 7 would go with them on missions, with Kakashi utilizing it. Sharingan always used to be an impressive Kekkei Genkai but on Sasuke it was almost...eerily beautiful.

Naruto shook his head, inwardly groaning. He should get his head out of the gutter, good God.

Unbeknownst to himself, Sasuke was also gazing his eyes, noting the red pigment on his eyebrows, yellow iris and horizontal pupil. “What kind of doujutsu you’re using?”

“Hm? Oh, I’m actually using Sage mode from the frogs in Mount Myoboku.” Naruto explained. “I’m learning how to harness the nature’s energy to my own.”

“Hn.” Sasuke used his Sharingan to study how Naruto’s chakra was absorbing the air and strengthening within each second. “That’s impressive.”

Sasuke’s compliment took him off-guard, and Naruto muttered scratching his cheek. “Uh⏤thanks.” Curse his blood vessels heating up his face. Unable to concentrate, the tanned face suddenly bloated up.

The Uchiha took several jumps backwards, crossing his arms.

“Argh, fuck. This happens sometimes, I still hadn’t mastered this technique yet.” Naruto sighed, staring his webbed hands and slimy skin.

Sasuke grunted. “Well, this looks pretty bad. How do we reverse it?”

The blond man thought for a while, recollecting past trainings with his frogs. He approached Sasuke, pointing to himself. "Hit me."

The Uchiha quirked an eyebrow.

"No seriously, hit me."

Sasuke took one more second staring in deadpan before shrugging and punched square on his face.

"Ow, what the hell, you didn't have to hit me that hard!" Naruto growled.

“It worked.” Sasuke responded in monotone, quirking a sardonic smirk.

The blond nin continued to mumble and grumble, hand nursing his cheek. Overall though, this was the best training he had ever had in his life. He certainly wouldn’t mind continuing and he could see himself, enjoying and improving fast with a sparring partner like Sasuke.

“Well, I guess you weren’t that bad, you got some decent moves.” Naruto puffed out his chest, grinning. Sasuke snorted. “Maybe we could try making his a regular thing, like every Monday and Wednesdays, or at least thrice per week, what do you think?”

“Hn.” Sasuke stared down Naruto’s offered hand and shook it firmly. “Fine.”

⏤.⏤

After that, it was natural that the Uchihas slowly began wedging their presence in his life. Naruto would spend mornings sparring with Sasuke, afternoons helping Sarada. On evenings they would hang all together, sometimes Sasuke would invite the blond nin for some dinner, then he would ask for some help buying school supplies, Naruto would spend the rest of the day with them doing regular tasks like going to grocery store, playing at the park and so on.

All those activities might look mundane at first glance, but Naruto enjoyed those moments the most, like this family was sharing a portion of their lives with him. Sarada looked ecstatic whenever she would get extra hours with her favorite teacher, Sasuke appeared to be less monosyllabic too.

Even after his temporary job as daycare teacher had ended, Naruto promised he’d continue giving tips and help Sarada train whenever he could. He always had a soft spot on children and although sometimes he didn’t know how to act around little girls, it was a joy being the receiving end from her genuine ways of showing affection.

Her father, on the other hand…he was one complicated man. Naruto heard his story from third parties and only watched him from afar, so getting to know Sasuke personally up close was an entire different thing, uncovering layer upon layer from such complex personality. However, despite this apparent difference, they just clicked pretty well. Even if they would bicker and tease each other most times, it wasn’t with a malicious intent.

Also, Naruto couldn’t quite explain but…he had never felt so close to someone like before. Of course, he appreciated and held much fondness towards his former teammates Tenten, Lee and Gai-sensei and would never trade them with anyone else, however, Sasuke was special. He couldn’t put into words why this man held such magnetic pull towards him.

It was undeniable by now the strong bond Naruto had with them, to the point that it was hard going on long missions to remote locations, feeling guilty from Sarada’s heartbroken expression whenever he would explain he’d be away for a while. Sasuke was more understanding, obviously, however he wondered if Sasuke had another sparring partner or he’d get bored to his usual Hokage assistant job.

In quiet moments of his mission, Naruto would let his mind go astray, thinking about the Uchihas, if they were eating well, if Sarada was improving in her chakra control, if Sasuke was getting better in raising her. He hoped they wouldn’t meet too much pain and suffering along the way, that they had untroubled and happy days, Sasuke would be able to open up to his daughter.

“ox⏤ Fox!”

Widening his eyes, Naruto dodged in the nick of time before he would collide to a tree branch.

“Okay, maybe we should rest a little.” The ANBU captain muttered, scratching his head with a heavy sigh. “What’s the matter with you? Your head is on the clouds.”

“Sorry. Got a lot of things in my mind.” Landing on a nearby branch, he picked his water canteen as his fellow teammates also paused to rest.

Neji pushed his Eagle mask backwards and took a quiet sip. “He’s probably thinking about Sasuke right now.”

Naruto spat out his drink. “How!!⏤N⏤I mean⏤what⏤when?”    

“Lee told about this to Sakura, which in turn told me and Kakashi-sensei. While she was gushing about you two, obviously.” Neji explained, taking a mild amusement looking the tanned skin turning crimson red in terms of seconds.

Naruto scowled. “Geez, gossipers much? I can’t believe this.”

“Well, I guess we would always keep a close eye on Sasuke since we never knew if he was going to adjust well in Konoha after many years being…somewhere else.” Neji mumbled, his mood turning a little sour. Closing his eyes with an long exhale, he said. “Fortunately I was wrong in the end. As his former teammate and his friend, I’m glad you guys have gotten closer. Sasuke needs a good influence like yours, I hope you’ll help him find his way out of his personal darkness, just like you’ve done to me back when we were kids.”

“I appreciate your words, but you think too highly about me Neji.” Naruto laughed, rubbing his neck.

“Do I? I think you’re underestimating yourself. I remember back that day you said you were going to be a Hokage and change the ninja system. I still believe this will happen one day.”

Their conversation was interrupted when the ANBU captain called them up and they resumed going to the designated spot to meet a informant from Sound village.

It was another empty laboratory located underground, the constant pitter-patter from the rain reverberating in the long corridors. Neji was first to locate a foreign chakra from afar so they got their weapons ready.

“Finally, Konoha ninjas. That took a while, I’ve been waiting for too long.”

Naruto resisted the urge to call for his bunshins as a knee-jerk reaction, once he instantly recognized the dark-rimmed glasses and the grey-haired ponytail. “Kabuto.”

Kabuto raised his hands, holding a scroll. “I’m not here to fight, I’m your informant.”

“You? Of all people?” He balled his hand to a fist, body tense, ready to spring in action in any split second. “Seriously doubt it.”

“Let’s just say I had some real eye-opener experience. Konohagakure has been struggling to pinpoint Orochimaru’s location even after Sasuke-kun gave vital information about Sound village right? I know which exactly laboratories he’s in this time.”

“What makes you think we’ll believe in you?” Neji questioned.

Kabuto gave a short bark of laughter, sighing. “Orochimaru-sama…he had perfected his masterpiece at last. And I was blind for too long, not seeing that once I was useless to him, he was done having me by his side. I’m also done with him. Done being his shadow, being weaker than him. So I’m helping you out, eliminating him at last.”

“Bitter revenge huh.” The captain muttered, adjusting his deer mask. “You’re also wanted for your crimes, what makes you think we’d let you slide?”

“This scroll will only activate after my chakra is miles away from it, plus, I’m sure you’re all more motivated avenging your sweet old man Sandaime Hokage than going after me. Let’s just say this is a temporary truce while we eliminate a bigger threat right?” Kabuto slithered back to his shadows, his echoed voice surrounding them. “See you later then.”  

⏤.⏤

Naruto never forgot Kakashi’s menacing expression while they reported this mission. It was a sharp reminder why that man stood as the current leader in the one of strongest ninja villages of the world.

Shikamaru informed him that they’d need some more weeks to take off in the next mission, so he had plenty of free time to rest. He took this opportunity to visit the daycare much to Sarada’s bubbling happiness, he was growing more and more attached to her. Sasuke arrived later to pick her up, blinking once he saw both Naruto and his daughter perched upside down from a tree, waiting for him.

“Didn’t expect for you to return so soon from your mission.” Sasuke inquired, while they were eating outside.

Naruto slurped his ramen noodles, humming. “Mm, just went to gather some information, so I didn’t take too long.”

Sasuke swallowed the salty broth, eyes unfocused for a second.

Pleasant idyllic days followed suit, Sarada even invited him to eat dinner in their home, and while he was busy drinking fake tea with her dolls, blue eyes threw furtive glances towards her dad, which in turn had his hands fully occupied cooking food.

This might turn into dangerous zone, how frightening was the fact that they were becoming an integral part of his life. He didn’t want to sever these bonds in any kind of circumstances, so even though he knew his attraction to Sasuke, he buried those feelings as much as he could.

He quickly made up an excuse whenever Sarada attempted to convince him sleep over in their house, throwing himself to his bed with a loud exhale. There were only few days left for his next mission, it’d be a welcoming interruption to let him cool down.

His telephone rang in the middle of the night, startling him. He was half asleep until he heard Sasuke’s frantic voice.

“Sarada is missing.”

His nerves were on full alert at once, a cold pit lodged in his stomach. “What?!” Naruto shouted. “What happened?!”

“We…we kind of had a disagreement over some things and she ran off⏤but I forgot you’ve been training her lately so she just jumped disappearing in the forest.” Sasuke babbled, losing his cool. “I can’t pinpoint her chakra so I called Neji, Kakashi and Sakura⏤Lee is also helping me out and I thought, calling you if it’s not a bothe⏤”

“I’m on it. It’s not a bother at all.” Naruto reassured, picking the closest jacket and his cellphone at hand.

This was the most excruciating hours he had ever had in his life. Naruto practically turned the village upside down, searching everywhere in a breakneck speed while trying hard not to imagine all horrid scenarios that came to his mind. What if some pervert saw Sarada’s cutesy appearance and took advantage that she was alone? Naruto gritted his teeth, increasing his speed.

His cellphone rang, showing Sakura’s number. With his heart almost jumping to his throat, he muttered. “Yeah?”

“I found her Naruto.”

Naruto sighed relieved, relaxing his shoulders. “Thank God, that’s great! Is she alright?”

“Yes, but she’s still crying, the poor baby.” His own distress tasted bitter once he could hear tiny hiccups from the other receiving end. Sakura made some soothing noises, whispering. “She said she only wanted to see you, can you come over here?”

He obeyed her request immediately, hopping roof to roof to arrive as soon as he could. Sakura was still holding Sarada in her arms with Lee standing next to her, both looked troubled. Sasuke was few feet away from them, face grim with eyebrows knitted, but his eyes were focused in his daughter.

“Sarada-chan, I’m here.” Naruto called with a kind tone, smile gradually broadening in his lips.

Sarada stilled before she struggled to get herself out of Sakura’s arms. Sakura softly dropped her to the ground, letting Sarada run towards Naruto. Dropping to one knee, he hugged the little girl while patting her back, squeezing her trembling shoulders.

“You gave me a quite scare running off like that, Sarada-chan. Are you alright?” He felt a shaky nod close to his neck so he said. “Ok, you must be really tired right? Should we go home for you to sleep?”

“No! I don’t want to go with father.” Sarada shook her head vehemently, arms tightening around him. “I hate him!”

Naruto felt a surge of nervousness crawling in his spine when he saw Sasuke flinching in response. “Aww⏤c’mon, you don’t really hate him right? He’s your dad!” He mumbled, stroking her dark hair, rocking back and forth. “Alright, how about that, I’ll buy you some delicious dango and green tea and we’ll talk about this if you want, do you like this idea?”

Sarada slowed down her breathing, watery eyes staring at him. She bobbed her head twice before burying her face on his chest.

“Great! So let’s say bye bye to auntie Sakura, uncle Lee and your dad for now, is that ok?”

Sarada turned around halfway with Naruto still holding her, bowing to them. “Bye bye. Thank you.”

Sakura kissed her cheek while Lee held her tiny fingers. “Bye bye Sarada-chan. Feel better soon.”

Swallowing dryly, Naruto muttered. “Is that alright Sasuke?”

Sasuke thinned his lips, nodding once. Sighing, Naruto turned around ignoring the piercing dark eyes drilling on his back and went to designated place.

Most customers were already gone once they arrived at the restaurant, so it wasn’t difficult finding a quiet spot in there. Naruto observed Sarada while they waited the food to arrive, as she calmed herself, rubbing her eyes with her hand. She was still sniffing, stuttering her chest, so Naruto cleaned her face with some napkins, letting her blow her nose on it.

They ate in amicable silence, Naruto blowing the hot tea before offering her to drink it. She took two long gulps before slamming the cup on the table.

“Father won’t tell me who is my mother.”

Oh. Ooooooooh…Scratching the back of his head, Naruto nibbled his morsel. “It’s probably really complicated for him to tell you right? Maybe he will once you’re older Sarada-chan.”

“I don’t care, I just wanted to know who she is.” She responded, fingers tightening on the cup. “All kids on the daycare had their moms or dads picking them up. If their moms aren’t there, they told me that they had their photos in the altar of their home. Our house doesn’t even have that.”

Pausing unsure what kind of response he should come up, Naruto settled to munch his dango.

Sarada then mumbled. “I asked before, but father told me that I wouldn’t understand for now. I’m getting bigger, you know. I asked again, father just kept saying that it’s not important for me to know who is my mother. Then, today I asked once more, and then he said…” She bit her lip, sniffing. “He said that I shouldn’t know who is my mother.”

“M-maybe he’s right, maybe you shouldn’t know for now. We grown ups have a lot of problems that we don’t want you to suffer too, you know.” Naruto explained with a lame shrug.

“But…but the kids in the daycare said that I came from a bad village, full of bad people.” Sarada whispered, eyes wide and scared. “And they told me that my father spend years in that place, only to return to Konoha when I was a baby. So what if my mother is one of the bad guys? What if I turn into a bad person too? Then⏤then⏤”  She protruded her lower lip, sniffing once again as tears gathered in her eyes.

Naruto sat next to her, enveloping his arms around her while he let his hands slide soothingly on her back. “Oh no, oh no…Sarada-chan, honey. Why do you think you’ll ever become a bad person? You’re such a sweet girl, whoever told you that deserves some good pinching on their ears. Just ignore those brats.”

“B-but⏤”

“Alright.” Naruto placed her back on her seat, patting her head. “Let me tell you a secret too then. I also don’t know who is my mother and my father.”

That information sobered her up, Sarada blinked surprised. “Really? Naruto-sensei?”

“Yep! And I’m not going to lie, it used to bother me a lot too. Then I met Iruka-toosan. We became close friends and he said he wanted to be my adopted father, and he raised me like his own son. You think I’m a bad guy?” Naruto waited till she shook her head, and resumed his speech. “It’s all thanks to Iruka-toosan that I became what I am right now. Blood relations and everything…can be important if you want, but only if you want it. And the one who raised you is your father right? You think he raised you to be a bad girl?”

Sarada bit her lip in thought, staring her cup of tea. “No…”

“Then you have nothing to worry about. You’re not a bad person and I believe you’re not going to be a bad person. Who is your mother, who was your mother…your father will tell you one day. But your father loves you very much, and that’s what is really important, right?”

Sarada gazed his reassuring smile, feeling her strength returning. “Right.” She blushed. “Does Naruto-sensei love me too?”

“Of course I do!” Naruto exclaimed, ruffling her hair.

Sarada beamed, hugging his waist.

⏤.⏤

Sasuke opened the door before he could even raise his hand to knock on it.

“Her bedroom is over there.” He said, turning around to guide Naruto.

Naruto adjusted Sarada’s slumbering body draped on his back, following Sasuke. Once they were in her room, Sasuke carefully extracted her from his arms and tucked her in her bed. Sasuke sat on the edge of it, smoothing her forehead with a pensive expression.

“Sorry for all the trouble you went through because of us, I’m sure you’re really tired.”

“Hm? No, this didn’t bother me at all, don’t worry about it.” Naruto approached, sitting on the other edge, patting her legs. “Sarada-chan is a very kind girl, I’m glad I helped her out.”

“Hn.” Sasuke quirked a small smile. “She is kind. Completely different from me.”

“You’re kind too.” Naruto muttered to himself. He felt inquisitive eyes aimed towards him, so he said louder. “We talked a little before coming over here. She told me the reason why you guys fought tonight.”

Sasuke sighed.

Gulping, Naruto let a uncomfortable silence fall between them, as both men took their time to consider their next steps. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to know whoever she was, and how he was going to deal with this sudden surge of jealousy souring in his tongue.

Breaking their eye contact, Naruto pressed on. “You might tell her just a name, or some vague description, if it’s too difficult for you. I think it may appease Sarada-chan just a bit, because I don’t think any kid like being in the dark, with no adult explaining well about them. Think about that.”

“Sarada doesn’t have a mother.”

Blue eyes blinked repeatedly, tilting his head to one side.

Sasuke heaved another tired exhale. “Well, technically, half her genes comes from a woman but she was not conceived⏤in the regular way. Orochimaru used the eggs from a former colleague of mine and took some of my sperm to fertilize it. When I realized this…it was already too late.”

Naruto grunted, scratching his neck. “Yeah, there’s no way she can know about this right now.”

“Hn.”

“But Sarada-chan is a very smart girl, she’ll understand about it eventually.”

“I suppose. Till there, I’ll make sure that this day is going to happen very far from today.”

Naruto chuckled from Sasuke’s humorless expression. “Protective much? I get it. Sarada-chan is so cute that even though she’s not my kid I’m protective over her.”

Sasuke peeked through his long eyelashes, gradually slumping his body as he snorted. He continued let his thumb caress his daughter’s temple, murmuring. “It’s funny though…how I used to live my life so focused in one goal, never bothered to look anywhere else. But, when I saw her, for the first time…”

Naruto allowed himself broaden a sappy smile. “Fatherhood, right?”

“...hm.”

Time stilled between them, as Sasuke continued to comb through Sarada’s hair with his fingertips, with Naruto quietly gazing them.

“It’s weird” Sasuke interrupted this silence with an hesitant mumble. “How easy it is to share everything with you Naruto.”

Blue eyes widened, Naruto shifted closer towards him. “Me too. I’m⏤I’m really glad I met you.”

His heart was throbbing loudly in his ears, when Sasuke maintained the constant stare, hands dropping to the side. He briefly glanced down before settling with a longing look, pale eyelids half-mast. Naruto licked his lips, leaning closer, his eyelids were also dropping as he could almost feel Sasuke’s steady breath tingling his skin⏤  

“Papa…” Sarada squirmed half asleep, arm slinging over her father’s body before returning to her slumber. Both men scrambled several feet away, Naruto almost fell to the ground but Sasuke maintained in his position with a somewhat grace, their faces red.

“W-well! Look at the time! I should get going then.” Naruto babbled, trying very hard looking anywhere but Sasuke’s lips.

Sasuke cleared his throat. “I guess you’re right. Sarada is practically glued on me, so can you go by yourself and close the door for me? I’ll lock it afterwards.”

“Sure. I’m going on a mission tomorrow, so see you soon Sasuke.” He waited with the acknowledging nod, walking towards the door in brisk steps as he exited their house.

Once Naruto reached to his own apartment, he slammed the door shut, sliding himself to the ground. He groaned loudly, messing his hair.

Okay, great. He had it bad. Really fucking bad.

⏤.⏤

“Fox, for goodness’ sake, please focus even for few seconds instead of daydreaming about your crush.”

Naruto slipped, falling to the ground with a loud thud.

“Sometimes I really forget that you’re one of the deadliest ninjas and part of our ANBU squad.”

“Oh shut up Deer.” Naruto grumbled, rubbing his tender backside. “You weren’t any better when you were trying to ask Temari out too.”

“Fox does make a good point.” Eagle offered his hand and propped Naruto upwards, patting his shoulder. “Actually, you were acting worse whenever she visited Konoha, with those lovesick pupp⏤”

Danger. They all jumped away, a slippery body dashed towards Naruto and broke his ANBU mask. Sharp teeth almost sank on his throat but he grabbed it in time, hand twitching to instinctively slash the snake in half though he settled to throw to a nearby wall. He closed one eye, licking the coppery taste of blood that poured from his eyelid.

“Fox!” Deer and Eagle shouted alarmed.

“I’m alright!” Naruto growled, making hand signs and creating two clones. They managed to make a Rasengan before another bigger snake slithered and successfully dispelled them. He began increasing the speed, sprinting in the direction where the snake came from. His jutsu aimed towards a human obscured by the dim lit room, but unfortunately he parried the Rasengan with ease.

“Oh? Is that Naruto-kun?”

Shivers ran down his spine, he struggled to believe the familiar voice his ears had captured. No, it can’t be…

The enemy stepped close to a fire lit spot, illuminating his dark hair, alabaster smooth skin down to his handsome face and sturdy muscles, menacing crimson eyes staring down at him.

His body shook at the revelation, but somehow Naruto knew that something wasn't right. This man, no matter how similar he looked towards Sasuke, he had a haughtier smirk, condescending body language and a cold glare. He even appeared to be few years younger than the Sasuke in Konoha, wearing a white kimono half opened on his frontal chest, a purple lasso tying around the obi and pants hugging tightly his toned legs.

“This is…this is not Sasuke.” Eagle muttered with the same bewilderment, veins popping out around his eyes.

“Eagle, please don’t give this kind of assessment based on your friendship with Uchiha Sasuke.” Deer muttered, making few hand signs and preparing his battle stance.

“I’m not, I’ve checked. His chakra signature, everything…is just wrong.”

This enemy bit his thumb, summoning a gigantic viper that broke the surrounding walls and attempted to wrap around Eagle’s body. Eagle pressed few vital points to weaken the monster, falling to the ground and it dissolved to thousands of snakes. Naruto drowned some of the snakes with water jutsu while Deer suffocated others using his shadow, backing Eagle while he sprinted closer to the enemy. He concentrated a good amount of chakra to his palm, releasing it with a palm thrust.

This Sasuke made faster hand signs, expelling fire from his mouth. Eagle barely escaped with his hair singed crisp.

“This is Orochimaru.” Deer muttered while Eagle activated a green chakra to repair his burnt skin. “His fighting style, his jutsus, his summons, it all fits. So this is the masterpiece Kabuto is talking about huh.”

“Makes sense since he wanted Sasuke’s body to his own.” Eagle growled, activating his Byakugan. “He failed doing so, and thus he settled making a clone.”

“And you little lambs came here so I could test out my new powers. I expected more Konoha ninjas, but this might do.” Orochimaru said, guttural voice that crawled to their skin. He made several hand signs, humans appeared from the ground, their eyes vacant and steps sluggish.

Naruto crowded the place with thousands of his clones, staring stupefied when Orochimaru elongated his neck ten times the normal size, before his head shifted, sharp canines ready to bite his arm off. Deer was quicker to use his shadow jutsu and controlled Naruto to jump away, and once his blond teammate was within a safe distance, he created a spark of electricity on his hand and aimed towards their foe.

However, large gates showed out of thin air, protecting Orochimaru while other zombies began attacking the Konoha nins, with several jutsus of all kinds of elements. Eagle parried with Eight Trigrams Palms Revolving Heaven, creating a barrier dome around them.

Naruto’s clones eliminated a good chunk of Orochimaru’s undead soldiers thankfully, though most of them continued to stride menacingly towards them, even with some limbs askew.

“We have to eliminate Orochimaru, or else we won’t leave this place alive.” Deer grumbled, cracking his knuckles. “Fox, concentrate on keeping the path clean for Eagle to pass through and fight against Orochimaru. I’ll provide backup and make the enemies not hit your blind spots. Avoid cutting the snakes because their poison can dissipate in thin air.”

“You got it.” Naruto muttered, Eagle nodded wordlessly. He created more clones to hide Eagle from Orochimaru’s sight, restarting a skirmish that they all knew it was going to take very long to end it.

While they had their hands full eliminating Orochimaru’s lackeys, a blur appeared close to Deer, almost slashing off his neck. Deer avoided by curving his body backwards, while he managed to capture his foe with shadows binding around its body. However, Orochimaru dissolved into several snakes that lashed out, gashes spilling blood on his skin.

Orochimaru jumped smoothly few feet away from them, staring them in contempt. He zeroed his eyes towards the blond nin, smirking. “This new body feels so great in me…maybe I should eliminate Sasuke-kun once this is all done. Just to set an example how I deal with little traitors like him.”

Naruto grounded his teeth, his fingers balling to a fist. A bubbly chakra slowly gathered around him, elongating his teeth and deepening the whisker marks on his cheeks, slit eyes bleeding the sky blue eyes away.

“Fo⏤Naruto.” Deer warned him, hand grabbing his arm.

“I’m fine. I can control this.” Naruto growled, leaping and landing with his hands and feet to the ground, a long transparent tail snapping out of his body.

Sasuke (no, Orochimaru) stared back with mild amusement, making more hand signs as a huge water snake appeared on his hand. Deer and Eagle avoided getting hit by sprinting far away from sight, Naruto on the other hand, ran towards his foe. He dodged several fireballs aimed his way, the bubbly reddish chakra forming a large hand with sharp claws, ready to smash the body to a pulp.

Sasuke (Orochimaru!) quirked a small smile and Naruto recoiled in an instant, moving slow enough for his enemy to dodge away. Orochimaru’s reverberated a guttural laugh.

“Naruto-kun, is that hesitancy I saw that now? How interesting.” He poofed out before Eagle could jab his vital points, a long katana regurgitating from his mouth and he slashed few wounds on Eagle’s arms.

“Naruto, focus dammit!” Deer growled, his shadows turned into sharp spears, cutting through all enemies surrounding them. He dropped to the ground, his chakra spent.

Naruto cursed to himself, calling his clones and they aided Eagle in his fight against Orochimaru. While he rushed close to Eagle, Orochimaru managed to eliminate his bunshins with one swoop, though the Hyuuga nin used this opportunity to strike right on his chest and arms. Snarling, Orochimaru summoned another enormous snake that bashed him to the wall.

Staring Neji unresponsive body consumed his chakra with fear and rage, another tail protruding out of his body. The transparent armor thickened, bubbles running agitated and shredding some of his tanned skin off. When Naruto opened his mouth, he let an anguished scream that shook all walls and even made Orochimaru halt at once.

Naruto jumped, one hand gathering chakra to his palm and let it spiral to a perfect sphere. Before his enemy could react in time, he caught Orochimaru by the throat, long nails biting the skin, crashing loudly to the ground that left a deep indent on it. Orochimaru spat out blood, while a dark chakra was still forming in Naruto’s hand. He was ready to propel his Rasengan on the chest, but all of sudden, Sharingan spinned dangerously and he was pulled to a dark room in a split second.

The blond nin was breathing heavily, nerves still cautious with his surroundings.

“Naruto.”

A husky whisper chimed directly to his ears, catching his attention and he stared right ahead. Sasuke appeared in front of him, wearing a chuunin vest and quirking a teasing smirk.

Every alarm bells were ringing in his head, but this Sasuke shrugged his vest off, stripping his turtleneck blouse, approaching with his hand pressing on Naruto’s chest. They fell backwards and onto a soft surface, Sasuke straddled Naruto while he unzipped his pants.

This is an illusion, this is a genjutsu, this is not real; those were the thoughts that kept repeating in Naruto’s head over and over but his hands were moving against his volition and reached to squeeze Sasuke’s buttocks. He let out a sensual moan, hips undulating as he removed the last article of clothing out of his legs.

Naruto couldn’t deny how his body was responding to Sasuke being all nude, grunting when moist breath reached his neck and sucked playfully. His senses were being guided to drown in those pleasurable touches, but an insistent flame of hatred kept his mind alert.

How dare he…

How dare he⏤(how dare he)HOW dare he⏤ (How DARE HE) HOW DARE HE

HOW DARE HE, USING SASUKE'S BODY LIKE THIS!

Screaming hoarsely, Naruto snapped out of Orochimaru’s control, grabbing a kunai from his holster and dug it on the chest till spilled enough blood. He realized that he was back to reality, staring Orochimaru’s shocked eyes as Sharingan deactivated back to black hue.

“I thought⏤it was just lust. I can’t believe that I miscalculated⏤…”

Naruto waited till Orochimaru’s vision lost focus, breath stopping and all surrounding lackeys crumbled apart. It was only then he lost all his strength, his body falling to the ground, completely spent.

“Naruto.” Neji appeared on the corner of his vision, taking off his mask and sat next to him.

“...are you alright? Is Shikamaru alright?” Naruto breathed out.

“Shikamaru might need swallow some soldier pill while we contact Konoha’s intelligence.” He patted his shoulder, grunting. “You did it, you killed one of Konoha’s deadliest enemy.”

Once this information sank in at last, Naruto felt a huge weight lifting off his shoulders. At last, he eliminated Sasuke’s biggest threat, then Sasuke will definitely stay in Konoha from now on right?

⏤.⏤

“Sasuke is missing.”

Naruto did a double take, not quite comprehending Kakashi’s somber tone. On the way back to Konoha, Naruto and his teammates were still celebrating their success, while tending their wounds. He’d never imagine that he’d hear such shocking news the moment he’d take one step back to his village.

“No way. How can you be so sure?” Naruto questioned.

“Most their belongings disappeared in a night, he didn’t notify me about anything and Sarada-chan is also missing. I noticed that Sasuke was getting increasingly restless once he received the report of Orochimaru’s death.” Kakashi explained. “I hadn’t gone yet to report about this to the Konoha council, then so far, only you and me are aware of Sasuke’s disappearance.”

Naruto absorbed this info, muttering. “What do you want me to do?”

Kakashi studied the frantic young man, then declared. “I believe that there’s still time to make him change his mind, and you’ll be the one to talk it out with him.”

Naruto made a disbelieving noise. “What, you serious, me? Of all people, I thought that Neji, Sakura, even you are a better choice than me.”

“Well, I trust my instincts and I felt that those latest months...Sasuke had grown fonder towards you.” Kakashi stopped before any rebuttal would come out of Naruto’s mouth. “We don’t have enough time anyways. I can use a jutsu that distort time and space but...this is the first time I will use on someone instead of in an inanimate object. Are you willing to risk it?”

Inquiring eyes sharpened with determination, nodding. Kakashi lifted his Konoha bandana, Sharingan activating and tomoes morphing to a different shape. Naruto felt the air compressing around him, his entire body tightening and being sucked into a spiral. His vision blackened out of the Hokage’s office, and suddenly he arrived in some place outdoors, with azure skies and roaring waterfalls almost rendering him deaf.

He spotted Sasuke from afar, the dark haired nin was running towards him until he also noticed Naruto and stopped on his tracks. His expression looked pained and troubled. “Fucking Kakashi...I didn’t expect he’d call you up.”

“Sasuke, you’re not really going away from Konoha...again.” Naruto gnawed his lower lip. “Right?”

Sasuke grunted, closing his eyes and readying a battle stance. However, much to his surprise, Naruto remained in his spot, body unguarded.

“Sasuke. I don’t want to fight. Because I know and you know, if we fight right now, we’ll both die.” He muttered, closing in so he could hear Sasuke’s voice clearer away from the loud noise of waterfalls. “Can’t we talk? I’m all ears.”

Sasuke gave in a frustrated groan, avoiding to look at Naruto’s earnest blue eyes. “Naruto, I have to go, now that Orochimaru is away.”

“...why?”

“I was⏤naive, thinking that Orochimaru would be eliminated as soon as I gave enough information to Kakashi once I was back to Konoha. And yet, I thought that while I was in Konoha, it’d provide enough protection against Orochimaru’s spies.”

“Sure, that’s why you came back to Konoha right? You’re going to live there and we⏤”

“You don’t get it, I was⏤ getting too comfortable there, I was getting weak. My older brother Itachi already annihilated my entire clan and he knows all about Konoha inside out! We’re nothing but sitting ducks if we continued to live there, Itachi might target Sarada if he got ahold about her.”

“Sasuke⏤”

“I have to hunt Itachi down, before he finds my daughter.”

“Sasuke wait, I get it. I really do.” Naruto hurried to answer. “But why won’t you let us do this with you, together, against him?”

Sasuke scoffed. “I can’t let other people get involved with me, he’s dangerous. This is my cross I have to bear.”

Sighing, Naruto looked around. “Where’s Sarada-chan then?”

“In a hideout that only I know, with some of my allies.”

“Sasuke⏤” Naruto’s eyes turned solemn. “You’re not going to abandon her like that, right?”

“...Itachi is the strongest foe⏤”

“That doesn’t matter Sasuke, how can you do this, leaving your daughter alo⏤”

Sasuke interrupted him. “I also don’t wish for this to happen, but I’m covering all possibilities and scenarios! No matter what, I have to protect her.”

“I know! But you’re destroying her life if you die fighting against your older brother! You’re the most important person in her world, are you really going to leave her when she needs you the most?!” Naruto raised his voice, getting closer towards him. “After everything we had suffered while we were orphans, you’re going to do the same thing to Sarada-chan?!”

“Then what am I supposed to do then?!” Sasuke blurted out in desperation.

“Trust me!” Naruto seized his arms tightly, peering eyes cast upon him. “Trust us, Neji, Sakura, Kakashi, everyone! There’s no way we’ll let Itachi touch a strand of hair on Sarada-chan. Don’t you get it? Just like Sarada is important to you, you’re important to me! I don’t want to lose you either!”

“And⏤”  Sasuke shook his head, gritting his teeth. “And that’s why I said I was getting too comfortable in Konoha Naruto, when you came to my life. I was forgetting about Itachi, and how he was a threat that I’m not allowed to forget about. What if he suddenly appears and⏤”

Naruto held Sasuke’s face with both his hands, never breaking their mutual gaze.

“Let he be a threat we’ll share. I can’t afford to lose you or Sarada-chan, and I doubt that Kakashi-sensei will stay quiet over all this. Let’s go back to Konoha, okay?”

Sasuke fell silent contemplating, feeling Naruto’s warm fingers on his cheeks. Black eyes flickered back and forth, reconsidering his words, the close proximity providing some sense of comfort he hadn’t felt in a very long time.

Gathering his strength, he muttered. “Okay.”

Naruto sagged his body in relief, as Sasuke continued to recite. “Provide we’ll train daily from now on. And Kakashi gives me a mission about this, putting in the highest priority to allow me going after any information regarding Itachi.”

“Sure, I’ll help you out and we’ll arrange that.” Naruto reassured him.

“...that still means that I can’t take good care of Sarada, if I’m outside most time.”

Naruto blushed, muttering. “I mean, if you want, she could have two dads taking care of her.” When he saw Sasuke’s raised eyebrow in response, he backpedalled fast. “I mean⏤metaphorically speaking, Sarada-chan is like a daughter to me, you know? That doesn’t mean I’m coming onto you, unless of course you won’t mind but forget whatever I said if you’re uncomfortable about it, especially if you’re uncomfortable about it, and whoa, is it getting hot in here? We already chatted too much, should we go back before Kakashi-sensei gets worried about us and⏤”

Sasuke rolled his eyes, and silenced him with a swift kiss. This soft contact shattered all thoughts in his mind, as Naruto yielded to this surge of warmth, his hands finding Sasuke’s waist and pulling closer to him. Sasuke pushed back, mouths still attached, each kiss growing in intensity as he groaned low on his throat.

They pulled back gradually, candid smiles sharing together. Sasuke pecked his lips. “I would very much like that.”

⏤.⏤

Omake

“Friendly fire, that’s it. That was friendly fire.” Sarada sulked, remembering her beloved's blushing face as he bid goodbye.

“Hn.”

“Here I was, getting rid of all rivals left and right in school, when you, of all people, took advantage and got Naruto-sensei all to yourself. This is like...the ultimate betrayal. The worst.”

“Hm.”

Sarada glared, puffing her cheeks. “This is so unfair! When did that happen and what kind of trick did you do to get him huh? Confess!”

Sasuke rolled his eyes. “I did nothing out of the normal. Naruto-sensei and I met. We talked, we’ve gotten closer, I asked him out, he accepted. That’s all.”

“This is unfair.”

“Hn.” Sasuke licked his lips, humming to himself. That dumbass still tasted of miso.

Sarada placed her hands on her hips, knitting her eyebrows despite seeing her father’s contented smile. “You should have gotten in line you know. I liked him first, I liked him since I was five!”

Sasuke let out a chuckle, amused with his daughter’s shenanigans. He messed with her hair. “Too bad my child, because I still win then. I used to have a crush on him since I was thirteen.”

--.--

AN: FUCKING GIGANTIC CHAPTER OF DOOM. I had way too much fun describing the action scenes. Anyways, I hope you liked this chapter and please leave some reviews!

[phoenixyfriend]

Madara and Obito... In SPACE

So the preface to this mess: I don’t know jackshit about Star Wars, so a lot of this went through friends who do know Star Wars (the primary of which does not have a tumblr).

(I have watched Episodes 7&8, and Rogue One. Of the first six movies, I remember watching maybe an hour total. I have not seen more than snatches of Clone Wars. Beyond that, nothing but fic.)

Anyway! Let’s go:

As y’all probably know by now, my favorite form of crossover is what I call “intrusive,” so... I'm enjoying the mental concept of "dump Madara on Coruscant and watch him go." (Prequels, probably.)

Does Madara know what's going on? No. Can he understand a word that's being said? No! Is he going to fight the first person to aim a weapon at him, and every person after that? Yes.

Is Madara fighting fit?

Nnnnnnnnnnnnnno, not really, he’s old as balls. This is "I was on cave life support but I'm getting back up to kick ass out of pure spite" Madara.

[Image description: A screenshot of a panel of the Naruto Manga. Uchiha Madara is old and visibly ‘decrepit,’ with spiky white hair and an amorphous black robe. He is sitting on a pale throne, and there is a scythe visible to the side. He has a speech bubble saying “I am... a ghost of the Uchiha.” End Description]

Two wrinkly old guys, staring each other down: There ain't enough room in this universe for the two of us. [Palpatine and Madara start fighting to the death]

Congrats, Palpatine! Your ass is getting kicked by a geriatric malcontent who doesn't speak any language you've ever heard or feel like literally anything in the Force. You may have Sith lightning, but do you have decades of frontline experiences and over half a century of cave-dwelling bitterness?

Both of them, simultaneously, in completely different languages: Get off my lawn, whipper-snapper.

Palpatine: Behold my mastery of the Dark Side, Foolish old man! Palpatine: [shoots lightning] Madara: Oh hey, you're like the seventeenth most dangerous person who can shoot lightning I've fought. Telekinesis? Fought that. Combat precognition? Fought that, have that, and let me tell you hwat, it doesn't help if you're opponent is just that much faster than you.

Now, I’ll take a step back and acknowledge that several people advised me that Palpatine would stand a chance against Madara, likely even win, if Madara just got hacked off of his life support and is down to one eye.

But. I want a shitpost, and also to clown on Palpatine, so Madara wins easily.

Madara also deserves to be clowned on, but the entire situation is clowning on him because he’s not in his cave anymore, and he really wants to go back to his Gedou Mazou statue.

Maybe Madara and Palpatine go Old Man Fight and then Obito just pulls a Ninja Move and kills Palpatine that way. Madara was ranting and Obito just. Ninjas behind Palpatine and slits his throat like “okay, you’re obviously evil so like... bye.”

(I just love causing "Wait what" reactions in characters that are used to having total control. Like. Have you read "Unexpected Guests"? The Bleach fic? Everything that happens in Hueco Mundo and after. That energy. I want that energy.)

Madara waves his scythe around like a cane. Obito just trails after like “Gramps, no” because it’s still pre-Sanbi, so he’s Mostly Innocent (you know, on the scale of how fucked up Obito is as a person), and just wants Madara to like. Stop.

Palpatine dies but nobody's sure what to charge Madara with since he did kind of expose a Sith? And Palpatine attacked first for [handwave] reasons?

Jedi: Well sir, in lieu of charging you with assassination of the emperor, we have decided to ask you politely to return to the elderly person's retirement home from whence you came. Please leave immediately. You are frightening the senate. Madara: [incomprehensible raving] Jedi: Yes yes, very interesting. Jedi, whispering: Does anyone know his caretaker???

Obito looks increasingly put-upon as events progress. You need Obito there to... well, not translate. Nobody can translate. But to at least poke Madara into being Slightly Less Homicidal.

Anakin seems sad about his friend dying and being evil so Obito challenges him to a spar. Madara and Obito get pulled into the Jedi Temple to help train Padawans? My first thought was "they wouldn't trust someone so obviously Weird, Crazy, and Incomprehensible around the younglings" and my second thought was "well they let Yoda do it and he's all those things so I mean? YEAH."

What if they put Madara in the bacta tank and he just freshened up like a daisy because of hand-wave Hashirama cell reasons (Blame Sir Tiddyface).

From “Decrepit and Reliant on Cave Tube Life Support” to “Will Call Down Meteors With Ease”

How many eyes does he have? Whatever’s funniest. Let’s say one Eternal Mangekyo Sharingan and one Rinnegan, for maximum chaos.

Would "half my body is missing" Obito freak out if Bacta regrew his eye? Can bacta regrow something like that? When characters lose limbs they usually just get cybernetic replacements, but  the person I spoke with said that apparently they saw somewhere that that kind of thing can grow back it just takes a really long time.

I want to imagine bacta would help Obito with the Zetsu integration.

Anyway! Yes. Have Madara help train people despite being... Madara about it. You know... kind of a dick.

(I’d put example gifs but I don’t feel up to it. Y’all know what Madara’s “weakness disgusts me” ass is like.)

Obito had to get his "these fools could never make me sweat" sass from somewhere, after all.

Do you think Obito could fight the baby Jedi that are around his age while recovering? I have no idea what their skill level is at fourteen, but I want to imagine Obito sparring the Padawans.

Obito + Zetsu + Bacta = he still needs physical therapy but he can spar again!

Madara is delighted to have a baby ninja to bully. He's too old to not bully baby ninjas, and Obito is the only baby ninja. TBH Madara just makes Obito his assistant teacher.

Obito: What are we even doing here and how do we get home? Madara: I'm still working on that. Obito: But I want to go home and see Rin and Kakashi! Madara, who was like two days away from triggering the Sanbi plan: I'm working on it.

Something sticking in my mind rn is Ahsoka&Obito, since Obito is still Baby.

I think Obito would be excited to have someone his age that thought he was Cool and Talented for being able to do Chakra Things instead of writing him off as "the dead-last." Like, Rin is friends with him, but she doesn't look up to him as someone more/differently talented.  He'd be excited to get to be "The Mysterious Cool Big Bro" for once.

I feel I also just like the idea of Anakin not knowing what to do with someone Several Years Younger that is also. Ninja Skill.

Miscellaneous thoughts:

Madara is a grouchy old man even AFTER he gets effectively de-aged via bacta dunk, for the record. He's back in his prime and the Jedi have no idea how. They're all concerned about tiddyface*. (When are people not concerned about Sir Tiddyface, really.) The mokuton is a problem.

*Sir Tiddyface is that random Hashirama face that Madara had growing out of his pecs for like... convoluted bullshit reasons.

(Madara doesn't have mokuton, but he has enough Hashirama cells that it interacted very, VERY weirdly with the bacta.)

Obito spends the intervening weeks trying to learn the local language. He's very eager. Not particularly fast. Still doing it though!

I want Obito juggling kunai as physical therapy while he's waiting for Mads to get out of the bacta tank and just gains himself the adoration of a gaggle of small baby Jedi children.

Madara comes out of the bacta tank looking like he did in his prime (which I mentioned earlier but whatever), and it absolutely incites a yelling match of an argument that draws way too much attention.

Someone tries to teach Obito how to access the Force, just to see what happens. He almost turns into a statue because the philosophy behind Force meditation is only a few steps away from Sage Mode Meditation.

Anyway, Madara smacks him with a stick like Fukasaku to make sure Obito doesn't turn into stone.

Madara grumps about the lack of paper and brushes and ink. Bitches about it until someone hits up an antique store or something to get them for him. The day before he and Obito are dispatched on a mission with someone, probably Anakin for plot reasons, Madara very publicly seals things into a scroll and then tells them that no, they can't learn it, because the Force isn't chakra so fuuinjutsu won't work for them, so There.

Obito practices some Teen Rebellion (tm) and like, tries to teach the Padawan friends he's made how to do Chakra Things... but he's so bad at explaining things that nobody can get it to work even if it were possible.

In Obito's defense, language barriers. Not in Obito's defense, he's just really bad at words sometimes.