#just. super stressful all around.
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i dont think ill be able to post anything for tobias appreciation week. im spending some time w an aunt and uncle & helping them move and its insanely stressful i dont really have the bandwith to make anything fully original + im not super vibing w any of the prompts
#the guy who used to own this place was a nasty fucking slob who never cleaned up after himself + the cleaners he hired Fucking Suck#so the kitchen is just FULL of cockroaches its so nasty#+ theyve got four dogs & one of them cant be around two of them bc she gets violent so we have to cycle whos out and whos kenneled#just. super stressful all around.#its the aunt who i got to play the it lives series btw
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New OCs
(briefly, humans and supernatural beings have to team up for building better relations with each other and all the supernaturals can shapeshift and take on human appearances but also have their 'original form'.)
OK so I was GOING to draw fanart today - I had a fun idea and everything! But health anxiety (and anti-anxiety meds) wore me out so I kinda .... slogged through OCs as a treat to me. I am going to go to the doctor tomorrow so HOPEFULLY it's all okay.
#my characters#also kite is the worst socially and says things he thinks are surely fitting for a human conversation#but ends up insulting grady with 99% of the comments and that makes grady not fond of him#but then grady is like super pleasant to others and doesnt know how to act around kite and flubs a lot too#its a disaster and the twins are like oh no this is painful#mr tengu that was so tacky you cant say that to a human#mr tengu you cant DO that to a human STOP BEING LIKE THIS#while callum is just like wow this is hilarious thanks for bothering my younger brother its adding character to his life#and kite is stressed because thats the least encouraging thing to hear ever thank you v much hes TRYING to adapt#but also kite isnt his real name and he doesnt know squat about humans BUT he knows they have the internet#and so hes like well the problem is i dont want to actually say my name to you all because what if i am Online (TM)#and so he asks for a new name and then is like he should name me - the tiny one who wants to kick my ass should name me#so grady is like ....... nooooo...... dont............ and then suggests kite bc he's done google research#and kite is a type of bird and according to wikipedia has some familiarity to tengu so therefore yeah#and kite is like !!!!!! DOES HE ! KNOW THINGS ! and happily accepts the slightly researched name while the other humans#are like grady stop that is bullying the poor guy leave him alone pick a normal name!#anyway not drawn yet but there is a human guy partner for the twins and he immediately is like perfect#i know which is which lets go out and explore the human world for your research#and they dont understand how he knows them apart so fast and none of the other humans seem to tell em apart#but then none of the humans are shocked at the guy who knows so the girls are like sir howst do you know#and hes just v casual oh right yeah younger identical twin sisters - i have Practice ! and they are endeared to him haha#anyway if you read all those tags ty#and yes in his tengu form he does actually have the long nose please do not be mad#i just dont draw noses normally and im too tired to practice rn so#i only drew the second one today anyway - the first pic was done a couple days ago but i didnt wanna post on main#but then here i am posting on main#im sorry
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Hershel is actually the only character I've ever projected my dpdr onto. Idk, it fits him really well imo. Des' PTSD gives him uncontrollable fits of anger, Layton's makes him dissociate.
For those uninitiated:
#professor layton#hershel layton#desmond sycamore#jean descole#bronev bros#like I feel when you throw either into a traumatic situation at this point#des gets very proactive - FIGHT out of fight flight freeze - and channels all of his stress and fear into aggression#if he gets triggered you will KNOW because he will react very badly. and it's often embarassing for him but he's also pretty defensive#meanwhile you genuinely can't know with Layton because people attribute it to him being unflappable#something DEEPLY upsetting happens to him and he's weirdly on top of things and seems to be coping super well. but he's also kind of spacey#and doesn't seem to grasp the enormity of what he's experiencing or how fucked up it is or how he maybe SHOULD be reacting#and at some point probly he has to admit to someone that for a long time now his brain sometimes just shuts off and he stops feeling himself#the world kind of breaks down around him and becomes surreal and he's always tried to hide it so he doesn't upset anyone#it started with big things but sometimes happens in response to small#on bad days it can even be a child crying/screaming or certain names#emmy can give him a big hug#rambling over lol
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Giving a complicated tragic childhood backstory to your favorite character is all fun and games, until you realize you need to account for how old all the other adult characters would have been at the time and realize that scenes that would work perfectly if one character was twenty three and the other was fourteen stop working when you need other characters who are played by adult actors clearly younger than they are to be in college at the same time so your story beats line up thematically.
#Don't worry. I made an excel document for this over a year ago#Was that unhinged? Yeah. But this is harder than you think it is#In unrelated news it is now reasonable to have a child in your 20s 30s or 40s depending on when the plot needs the child#Also people in their early 20s can be in grad school have already established careers and adopt children now. I've declared it.#Also: Hollywood stop trying to trick me into believing women in their 30s are the same age as men in their 50s. It's never gonna work.#I'm fighting for my life to make these age gaps normal even on a platonic level#Don't worry I aged the girls up and the boys down#But still this is a bit ridiculous#If you use the actors' ages it doesn't work. Garrison's actress is 16 years younger than Curtain. Why?#I mean I like the casting. But SQ is a teenager. We know Curtain has had his evil plans at least since SQ was born and lost his bio dad#and if the Whisperer is Garrison's invention that means she and Curtain were working together when SQ was born#If SQ in the show is 16 (the actor was older I believe) and Garrison is 37 (that's how old the actress is now she was younger at time)#That means Garrison was only 21 and Curtain was well into his 30s. And that's after you age SQ down and Garrison up for the calculations#So Garrison was likely (according to the shows' casting) even younger than that which begs the question what was Curtain doing?#Was he spending his 30s lurking around college campuses and high schools looking for a kid whose inventions he could steal?#What in the Marcus Cutter is that about?#All these jokes about Garrison being SQ's uninvolved divorced stepmom but nah she's really his estranged big sister#also this is very frustrating because the irl age gap between the actress who plays Number Two and Tony Hale only 7 years#but they're the ones for whom a 16 year age gap would have actually made sense because he adopts her in the books!#but now since Garrison is clearly so much younger than Number Two Curtain and Benedict I have to deal with this#(Don't worry I figured it out and made the age gaps normal. You just now have to believe Number Two is only a year older than Garrison)#It was the stress of living with her family that aged her and Garrison just looks naturally super young that's what we're going with.#And don't get me wrong:#I do like the actresses and actors they casted they're great but sometimes I google the ages and I'm like oh you cannot be serious#But we've (more or less) figured it out#Rant over#writing#writing struggles#tmbs
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︵‿︵‿୨✩୧‿︵‿︵
*taps microphone* New chapter for These Hollow Halls coming soon--
#Flurry chats✦#so sorry for the delay but life be like that sometimes!#Im not dead yet just got super swamped for MONTHS.#Gonna change my name to tennis ball#Seeing as 2024 wants to keep smashing me around like one--#I have time before things may get stressful again so you better believe Im writing as much as I can#I just have to proof read and edit so Im aiming maybe for a Wednesday/Thursday update? Friday at the latest.#Unless something happens *knock on wood*#Ngl Im kinda glad I didnt have the time to keep writing back in June#Im much happier with this chapter than the original few drafts I had. Ive rewritten this chapter and chapter 6 like six different ways each#But I hope you all like it when it comes out! <3#Praise be to the Novelist app#I have everything regarding THH on there except for the actual written chapters#But it has all my rough ideas for all future chapters so I dont forget/can fiddle around with them there instead of getting stuck in#a rewriting loop and rewriting the same chapter so many times I make myself dizzy#Wishing you all a wonderful week!! Lots of love! <3
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✏ WIP Whenever ✏
Thank you for the tags @captastra @darkfire1177 @the-lastcall @hibernationsuit 💖💕
Haven't been working on too much personal art lately so not many new things to share
Have a lil sneaky peeky at these tiny sketches for the next few faith and max smoochy prompts in my ask box tho :]
open tag to anyone who wants to jump in!
#next week is gonna be great for faith and max enjoyers it looks like#just wanted to get a couple of these sketched out before I leave for the weekend#since they've been really nice (and much needed) stress relievers#I promise I haven't forgotten abt the other prompts in my ask box!!#I just have bigger ideas planned out for those and haven't had the time to work on them!!#but believe me I have been SO excited for when I can get back to them#they're literally all I think abt in terms of what I want to draw next!!#those and p&p au AND western au okay!! I have all the ideas planned out in my head but no time yet!!#2024 is gonna start off with some banger art fr fr#ily friends thank you for tagging me sorry I've been super slow getting around to everything#my mind has been all over the place and it's just that time of year ya'know#much love to y'all always <3#my art#faith and max
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Omg Simeon Saint slaps so hard,,,,,, but what the fuck is Fifi Leguarde or whatever. Like I'm sure everyone gets the guard part but what is Fifi
#ace attorney#simeon saint#im gonna be honest! this is probably the one character tag that i will change!#like im sure we all have some issues with winner and fender (at least. i personally have issues with winner and fender)#(like if they spelled it wynner that would solve like 90% of my issues with winner tbh!!)#but also i am ashamed to admit it but i dont super like gavelle either.... like the Verity part is good but just i dont like gavelle#like ngl simeon saint is the first official name that didn't disappoint me a little.... such an all around great name........#but again. i cannot stress this enough. what the hell does the fifi add to the name
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post ankle-twisting clarity
#i slipped in the mudddddd the other day LOL i twisted my one ankle and scraped up my other knee#so the past few days ive just been kind of needing to waddle around.....#LUCKILY its healing well and fast <3 but yknow i was like#so stressed out over shit that doesnt matter in school. and like this is an awful unintentional habit i have but i will get like#overly stressed over shit and then i'll start getting SUPER careless with everything. and then i'll injure myself foolishly and Calm Down#happened last year with my foolish midnight woodcarving incident LOL its always november....#BUT yeah luckily this years foolish injury is a quick one at least!!#but yeah like genuinely i was so stressed out about all my fine arts major shit. teachers have been really getting on my case recently#my main professor said that it was a good thing people get so riled up with my work because it means its impactful#tbh i didnt believe her at all i thought she was just trying to placate me but then i listened closely to the things faculty say when#they look at my fucking. cartoon wolf drawing or something and i think. she might be right actually. people keep getting frustrated with me#because i think they see a lot of potential in me but i basically only have to drive to draw cartoon wolves etc HFKJSDHJVKRFEds#which is great for my ego. maybe too good for my ego. that my mark making and colour use etc is so evocative to these industry and#instutition people. but on the other hand i was told like thrice now that my work has no place in a gallery. which is fine although im not#totally sure how true that is. but also afterwards one time i was suggested to go into animation instead which is. um.#so its not out of nowhere i mean i did want to be an animator when i was like 10 but if you know anything about the current state of the#animation industry its like genuinely wild to tell someone who you've only seen 2 dimensional watercolour and acrylic painted#sketchy lined drawings from and who has said they cant do digital art anymore that they should get an animation degree?#brother they would kill me. i would be killed. i had an inkling but it really made me notice so clearly how limited the experiences my#faculty kind of have with certain industries. which is fine. or maybe not. for a professor LOL but yknow. but i was like huh. i guess i can#just kind of chill lol if i just keep doing things maybe something will come of it. i may not get as much help in my artistic development#rn as i would like. but its chill i think i'll figure it out if i just keep doing stuff <3#doesnt really matter that my teachers dont know what to do with me. my kneeeee has a booboo so i am CHILLING out :)
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sneepy cozy....
#cats#(medical stuff mention for tags)#poasting confortable image of boye for peace and serenity and such forthe#I have little weird episodes sometimes where I get shaky (but like violently like 'would spill a drink if you were holding it beacuse#your hands are moving so much' type shaky) and weird and sick feeling but usually it passes in an hour or less. but last night I just#literally couldnt sleep I was shaking so much and my heartrate was up a ton and wouldn't go down even after like 6 hours plus super nausea#so I went to the hospital and now shall wear a heart monitor for a week. which hopefully it's just some weird drastic low blood sugar#event or something and there's nothing actually going on. ekg + ct scan for blod clots + virus panel + almost all of the blood work seems#normal so... aa.......#Though me being so privacy focused hrggh... I basically have a constantly bluetooth connected device around me#since the monitor comes with a cell phone that is constantly transmitting data to the place. which they said they'll call you#if they see anything weird which is also scary. random phone calls... but definitely better than letting an issue go unadressed lol#the phone is also not meant to be more than 10 feet away from the monitor at any time so I put on this old tactical fishing#vest thing thats like navy green with 100 pockets and im just using one of the giant pocketson the side as a phone holder#my enormous silly vest just to keep one little phone#ANYWAY... because I got up early the morning before and didn't sleep at all and spent nearly all day in waiting rooms and such#I have been awake for like 32 hours striaght. which I'm sure also does not help with an elevated heartrate lol#feeling shrimp emotions or whatever people talk about unlocking at a certain level of stress and sleep deprivation#and also no food or water. after a while they brought me like 3 saltines and some ice water but I basically also haven't eaten since 3am#last night and it's 2pm now..#thus............ bapy............. baby boye....... he will help ease all ailments with his baby powers...#And no I dont drink energy drinks or anything with caffiene really I'm afraid of all substances on the planet essentially#My body just likes to become shaky and weird randomly even when I'm not conciously anxious about anything/have had no caffiene/etc#and I guess I'm always more nervous about getting anything heart related checked out because of my arm/shoulder/chest area injury stuff#... i literally have constant chest pain all the time. it moves around but i nearly always have some sort of pain or pressure in my chest#so when people are like 'oh well a little weird heartrate is fine but watch out if you have pain!' it's like... i always do lol.. how am I#supposed to tell the Bad Pain apart from the Always Pain when the descriptions of Bad Pain are very very similar#AAAANYway.... hrghh... i wanted to be very productive and finally post drafts and wrok on things today. but alas..#I can at least post small image of soft boye.. though he recently got into stuff in the bathroom whilst left#alone and knocked things into the toilet.. So perhaps not an innocent and NICE boy.. but still.. a soft one .. beautfile....
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#hi!!!!!!#i feel like i should update here bc despite the stress it caused me this place got me through some of the roughest parts of med school#so if anyone at all is still around thank you <3#im updating to say match day was friday and im very excited to have matched into my dream specialty in a program im very excited about!#im thankfully moving much closer to my family which im stoked about and ill have excellent opportunities here so im super grateful#im graduating med school in two months which is surreal#i will be a literal doctor like who allowed that im just a young girl#anyways thank you to harry and this place for giving me stuff to look forward to during the rough patches#idk what he's up to these days but i hope he's well!!!#anyways byeeeeeeeeeee hope you guys are doing great
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have no fear, I came back with a positive post to make up for yesterday's complaining!
#my mentor gave me a super good review for something new we're working on#(like said i did better than anyone else in this role ever did on their first try which is good enough for me!)#also was dicking around on my laptop today and found out i have a bunch of free dropbox space for the next year#which is cool because i'll never PAY for dropbox but i can always use another 100gb#(ignore how stressed i'm gonna be when it expires and i have to relocate all those files bc it'll be cool up to that point)#i'm also trying to come up with ideas to display all this merch collection i'm building up so if anyone has any ideas!#i am listening#i ordered a bunch of zines and pins and charms and i wanna display them without accidentally damaging them#i'm thinking some kind of weird shrine in the living room#so everyone who visits my house has to check out the klance obsession#i just think that'll be funny#also i wfh in my living room so i'd get to see it all the time there#OH okay and finally#i got so much writing done this month#like i did fail a bunch of my fandom goals for the month but it's still an impressive amount of words added to my WIPs#and that's a win i'm gonna celebrate#if i can keep this up i'll have a huge chapter fic finished this year and ready to post in early 2025#and and and i got ANOTHER raise so#might even be able to splurge on some nice art for some of the chapters
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Hey always make sure you have a lock/passcode of some kind on your phone ok?
#i speak#it's now showing that i texted my boss#but not showing any actual texts#and he's SUPER strict about professional boundaries (understandably so)#and if it sent him a picture of me with guy (obvs not an inappropriate pic or anything but still)#that would make... waves#long story#guy and my boss are. not entirely on the best terms rn#so all around just#stress#missy's occupation
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i'm gonna try and explain the dynamics of some of my mario rarepairs involving the koopalings and why i like them in a way that's actually coherent and not just me ripping up the carpet in delight at the thought of them.
kept under a read-more to spare some of you from my own nonsense
iggy x toadette: the ULTIMATE enemies to acquaintances to friends to lovers. they bicker and wheedle at each other over small things because they both like debating, but also bring out the best and worst in each other without realizing. it's unlearning old habits for better new ones. it's finding someone like you, someone different from everyone else. it's saying i don't know what this is, but you see me as i am in a way no one else does, and i don't want to lose that. it's the HEIGHT DIFFERENCES. they make me crazy /pos
ludwig x lady bow: they have an elaborate 500k slow burn pining gothic romance going on, and it drives everyone insane. ludwig is charmed by her audacity, lady bow admires his ruthlessness. both of them are romantics, but they can never seem to find the right time to confess to one another, which leads to a lot of serenading and almost-kissing and goodbyes that shouldn't be as dramatic as they are. also they Anime Laugh at peasants together and discuss the most practical way to imprison someone over tea <3
larry x vivian: the two people that EVERYONE can see are crushing on each other except themselves because they're scared of the other's reaction. they find a strength in each other: larry gets vivian to speak up and express herself in a way that makes her happy, and vivian helps mellow larry out and make him comfortable with showing vulnerability. both secretly feel a little inadequate about themselves, and both of them think the other is amazing. fluff and almost dates and mutually unrequited pining at its PEAK.
#smb#super mario#super mario bros#koopalings#cocoaposts#iggy#iggy koopa#toadette#ludwig#ludwig von koopa#lady bow#larry koopa#larry#vivian#ship: iggyette#ship: ludbow#ship: larrivian#I GET TO USE THOSE TAGS#listen y'all its late and i'm kinda stressed about the world#i just like turning them around in my head because they're neat to me#is there any content of them? NO. will i make it all myself if i must? HELL YES#this isn't even counting the fact that i'm debating on lemmy x motley because i AM i just need to figure out motley's deal
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#vent#vent post#cw negative#Seven’s Public Diary#wish i wasn’t so fucking worthless and useless and stupid and selfish and mean#i am just so goddamn sick of my own bullshit. but i never change#i’m so tired of being weighed down by my 56492 mental illnesses. i don’t like being like this#my sleep schedule is so fucked up again and im tired of this constant cycle#this constant fight and endless effort to stay on a goddamn routine#all i want for christmas is a goddamn consistent sleep schedule#i hate sleeping through the day and being up all night but it’s like my body was fucking built for that or something#i don’t like it!! i want to be an early bird who goes to bed at 8pm and wakes up before the sun rises!!! but im the exact opposite!!!!!!!#i wish i just didn’t need to sleep at all. that would be the ideal. so many problems would be solved.#no i Really wish i just had the ability to fall asleep and wake up whenever i actually Want To instead of my body calling the shots#fell asleep at 9 this morning and im so mad that i didn’t get up when i was woken up at 11#a 2hr nap would’ve been fine and i would’ve made it through the rest of the day and been able to fucking sleep again tonight#but noOOooOoOo i had to give in to the allure of my warm cozy bed and fall back asleep for 9 more goddamn hours#now once again im too awake and rested to be able to go back to sleep. but once morning rolls around im gonna be exhausted again#and i’ll either give in and attempt to take a ‘nap’ and it’ll turn into a 12hr sleep again#or i’ll have to like. walk laps around the fucking house just to keep myself awake through the day#and i’ll be super irritable as a result and make everyone around me miserable too#but everyone is already beyond fed up with my issues and behavior. rightly so i guess. so i lose either way#god there was so much stuff i was gonna/supposed to do today#i don’t know how much longer they’re gonna put up with me being such a deadbeat#you think that’d like. motivate me to get my shit together or something but no. i’m addicted to being unconscious i guess#sleep feels so fucking good. until i wake up. which is funny bc it’s all nightmares and stress dreams anyway. why do i even enjoy sleeping#i guess bc for the first few hours after waking up i experience some modicum of relief from my other mental illnesses’ symptoms#like a soft reset.#and it’s the Only thing that gets rid of my migraines so god forbid i get one of those bc then i Have to sleep regardless of the time of day#anyways! :) that’s enough whining for one vent post. time to go do something productive
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sorry i always find it so funny when they do stories about whatever sonic character being wanted by the cops its like THIS GUY IS A WANTED CRIMINAL and its a cuddly little animal guy
#anyway whats going on story wise rn is uhhh . super sonic got way stronger all of a sudden because of stuff with chaos energy#and he went around trying to kill sonic's friends. and sonic ran off for a few days and then the super sonic transformation#was triggered again due to stress . and sonic's friends fought him. and sent super sonic to the special zone where hes just#a separate Guy now . and sonic is trying to track him down to stop him from causing any more problems#and the chaotix are wanted by thepolice or something idk . and sonic was also arrested for being associated with them#yeah 👍#fleetwaysonicposting
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#(( ooc. ))#.... so#if youre wondering why ive been so absent lately. ots bc im dealing with stuff like that. on top of handling everytuing around the house#and additional super stressful family drama#health scares caused by stress#the works. i feel like im a constant state of mindfuckery and i have been since we moved#thoght things would improve after getting away from MIL but apparently not#ive been so exhausted and stressed and pain has bee. spiking so bad#im really trying to be here bc writing has always been a calming thing for me like a fun distracting hobby#to get my mind off irl things but everytime i open up a reply i start crying#bc the words arent there and im too tired to even tupe bc im running myself ragged#and on top of that im dealing with hubby and whatever the f is up with him and the weird#180s he does where 1 second hes the sweetest most attentive guy ive ever known and the 2nd#im crying and apologizing for doing sometjing weong and i dont even inderstand what i did but hes upset at me#and somethings suddenly my fault#or im begging him for help around the apartment or smth#idk. i am really trying to be here i swear i am. i miss you all. i miss the stories we're writing together#i miss by bbys and wanna weite with them bc theyve been loud and active but i iust cant type what i want to#a single paragraph is taking me hours to get out no joke#idk. sprry for dumping all this on the dash out of nowhere im just kinda flailing right now and offkilter#gonna head off to bed and see if an actual good nights sleep for the first time in a week helps with my brain and makes things make sense#hope you all have a goodnight. sorry again for this#negative tw#negativity tw#venting tw#personal tw
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