#it started with big things but sometimes happens in response to small

[popcorndispenser]

Hershel is actually the only character I've ever projected my dpdr onto. Idk, it fits him really well imo. Des' PTSD gives him uncontrollable fits of anger, Layton's makes him dissociate.

For those uninitiated:

[champagnefountains]

LUCIFER MAGNE - H.H.

CHAPTER II - Prompt: Lucifer continuing to wear his wedding ring despite being in a relationship with you.

Previous chapter: [x] Word Count: 3.4k+ words (unedited). Genre/other tags: Angst with some fluff. Jealousy. Fem pronouns used. Warnings: Swearing. Self-deprecation. Manipulation (on Alastor's part).

It had been nearly over a week since you and Lucifer last talked – it had also been a week since Lucifer was last seen around in the hotel. Angel, being the gossiper he was, relayed everything that had transpired between you two to the others the following day. Seeing the sensitive and sad shell of a person you were left in, everyone remained cautious and had started walking on eggshells around you. Of course, you were quick to pick up on that, as embarrassing as it all was (minus Alastor, who continued on with his usual theatrics and mischief). 

Charlie in particular was the most concerned out of them all, since this was her dad we were talking about. She knew with certainty that he was confining himself in the castle to distract himself from what happened – likely something involving his rubber-ducky obsession – instead of facing the problem head on. It was his pride that sometimes got in the way of his better judgement.

Not only that, but Charlie clearly saw the massive toll it took on you. If you weren’t distracting yourself with work or doing something related to the hotel, you would lock yourself away in your room, only coming out to quickly grab a bite to eat from the kitchen. Charlie even made efforts to strike many conversations with you from time to time, but was either excused or was only given one-worded responses. She knew not to take your dismissive behaviour to heart, but she couldn’t help but fret over you.  

So it came as an absolute surprise when out of nowhere, Charlie received a call from her father. She messily scrambled for her phone on her desk, fumbling and nearly dropping it in the process before violently tapping on the small screen. “H-Hello?! Dad, hey!” She answers a bit too enthusiastically while nervously combing her hair with a free hand. “Uh, hey Charlie!” Lucifer stiffly greets from the other line, “I just…um, thought I’d give a call to, uh, see how everyone’s going at the hotel!” The Princess noted how much hoarser his voice was than usual, but decided not to comment on it aloud. 

“Well, y’know how it is! It’s been busy and lively as always–everyone’s been working really hard and all,” she answers vaguely, nervously chuckling. “Err, yeah! Right. That’s a–that’s a relief to hear. Yep,” he hums. There was a brief, awkward pause that ensued soon after, the both of them not knowing what to say next. The whole exchange was becoming increasingly painful that Charlie resisted the urge to pull her hair. She then clears her throat. “H-How about you, dad? What’ve you been up to? You’ve been gone for a couple or so days,” Charlie finally musters, “are…are you doing alright?” 

“Me? Oh yeah, psh! I just got, erm…a lot of things going on at the moment. It’s not so easy being the big boss of hell after all! Got a lot of important things to do! Plus, I’ve got heaps of paperwork to do for the hotel. You should know how tedious that is,” He says, adding an exaggerated groan. 

The princess furrows her brows. “Oh, that’s…strange. ’Cause I could’ve sworn you left all the papers here…y’know, the ones you told me to revise over?” Charlie replies, side-eyeing the said documents stacked neatly on her desk. A startled yelp escapes his throat. “O-Oh...did I?” He stammers.

Charlie couldn’t help but wince at the evident panic that began to set in as she listened to her father make incomprehensible noises from the other line. It was a poor attempt in reasoning, which ultimately became useless in the end. Lucifer let out a long sigh, caught red-handed. “Oh, who the hell am I kidding? You guys probably already know what happened–which by the way, Charlie, you shouldn’t be lying to me about!” He pointedly remarks. 

“I-I’m sorry, dad! It’s just…I’m really worried about you,” she reasons, before shortly adding, “...The both of you.” 

There was a small pause. “...How is she, by the way?” He then asks quietly. Charlie nervously tugs her bottom lip with her fangs. “Well, she’s keeping herself busy. Constantly, as a matter of fact. And I know she’s trying hard to convince us all that she’s holding up okay, but…she doesn’t look too good, dad. She seems really upset.”

A shaky exhale sounded from his end. “I…I really am hopeless, aren’t I?” He mumbles defeatedly. Even though she couldn’t see him, she could picture him burying his face in his hands. The image caused Charlie’s eyes to soften. “Dad, no. It’s not too late. You still have a chance to make things right,” Charlie gently encourages through the speaker, “you just need to talk to each other–”

Suddenly, from the corner of her eye, a bright, blazing portal manifests from thin air – from it, emerges Lucifer himself who appeared extremely dishevelled, effectively catching Charlie off guard. 

“But, hun, y-you don’t understand! I messed up big time!” He exclaims, tugging on his unkempt hair as he aimlessly paced around her office. “I-I mean, look at me! I’m a fucking mess and a coward! Why would she ever think to take me back after what I did!?” He chuckles humourlessly, shaking his head in disbelief, “I-It’s like no matter how many times I try to redeem and convince myself that everything’s finally going right in my life, I just continue to fuck myself over and over again. And it’s just– ugh! It’s pathetic! I’m fucking pathetic!” 

Charlie’s chest tightened considerably as she watched her father self-destruct before her. Strands of his golden hair were sticking out here and there, his dress-shirt tousled, and his eyes were glossed over and red, from both a lack of sleep and crying. He looked utterly devastated. Chucking her phone away, she immediately sped towards and enveloped Lucifer in her arms, who immediately broke down into heavy sobs. Seeing him like this brought tears to her own eyes, but she firmly told herself to be the stronger person in this situation, for his sake. 

“Hey, hey. Dad, listen to me, okay? Everyone deserves a second chance. You of all people should know–you were the one who taught me that, remember?” Charlie rubbed his back soothingly, trying to ease the jumpiness of his shoulders. “And that also applies to you. I…I know you’ve been through a lot, especially with mum…” She couldn’t help the way her frown deepened as she spoke, “...and I miss her too. I miss her a lot. But…I think it’s finally time for you to move on. It’s been years, dad. You deserve to be happy and you’re allowed to be in love again.” 

“[Name]’s an amazing person, and there’s no doubt about that. She’s proved that more than many times already. I’m certain that once things ease over and you guys finally talk things through, everything will turn out okay; she’s very understanding and kind like that. You’ll both be okay.” Charlie gently pulls Lucifer away and with the sleeve of her blazer, she wipes his damp, reddened cheeks. “I know for a fact that she loves and cares about you deeply – we can all see it as clear as day. You…you love her too, don’t you, dad?” 

For a brief moment’s contemplation, Lucifer suddenly recalled the times you spent together, from your initial meeting to now. He had always thought you were a strong and independent soul, with the way you carried yourself. You just had something about you that naturally drew in those around you, including himself. When Lucifer got to know you in a deeper level, he was enthralled by how kind and understanding you were – you were always there to listen to his many tales and endless nonsense; you would always seem genuinely interested in his rubber-duck-esque inventions, offering some input and critiquing his creations; and you would always be so, so supportive of all his plans and ideas, no matter how extraordinary they all seemed.

If he hadn't known any better, Lucifer would've thought you were an actual angel. You were the saviour that wore off the darkness in troubling times, and the one who pulled him out of the void that Lilith had left him in. That and more, as you continuously gave him a real reason to remain hopeful. You were proof personified, that he was able to open his heart once more, and to love again.

“I-I do, I really do,” Lucifer affirms in a heartbeat. Charlie smiles warmly, relieved by his answer, “then that’s all you need to say.” At that moment, Lucifer's chest swelled in overwhelming pride for his daughter, knowing that despite not being as present in her life until recently, she grew up to be the good and strong-willed person he had hoped for.

“O-Oh, jeez. Since when did you grow up so big? I should be the one comforting you,” He tearfully jokes, sniffling whilst returning her smile, “but thank you, Charlie. Really. I’m…I-I really am grateful to call you my daughter.” The two royalties then shared a heart-felt moment and a bone-crushing hug, with the King's heart being filled with a new-found determination. Because, just as he always says: The show must go on. 

Earlier on:

On the other side of the building, you were drowning yourself in your own self-despair as you overlooked the balcony by the front entrance of the hotel. Your eyes lazily scanned the new hotel patrons below, who were engaging in some trust exercises led by Vaggie, who came in to cover you just moments ago. Every once in a while, you couldn’t help but glance at your phone, silently hoping to receive some sort of notification from Lucifer, or even an inkling of his whereabouts. But you received nothing, which only fuelled your growing anxiety.

You felt awful leaving the way you did that night, especially after dumping so much onto Lucifer. You felt like you were being completely selfish, and had cornered him into making a big decision. And because of that, your relationship was on the line. You let out a frustrated sigh, rubbing angrily at your face.

Little did you know however, that you had some company lurking nearby, watching you in silent amusement. 

“Now, don’t you look as miserable as ever?” Alastor mockingly chimes in, stepping out from the shadows to make his presence known and joins you by the balcony. You roll your eyes at the deer-demon before turning your head the other direction. “Yeah, and what about it?” You scoff, leaning in to rest your arms against the rails, “Can’t you go bother someone else, Alastor? I’m certainly not in the mood right now.”  

“Why, I wouldn’t be a good hotelier if I left a dear co-worker of mine so down in the slumps!” To your dismay, Alastor reappears in front of you, obstructing your field of view, "And might I add, it's not healthy for you to be all cooped up in your room all the time – stay there any longer, and it can do silly, little things to your head!" He emphasises his point as he spins a finger in a circular motion by his temple. You shot him an irritated look, slowly growing fed up by his prodding. 

"Listen, I don't need you telling me what I should and shouldn't do. I’m more than capable of deciding that on my own,” you growl, straightening up to cross your arms firmly against your chest. “Hm...no, I don’t think so!” Alastor hums, shaking his head disapprovingly, “The unfortunate affair that took place in your courtship with the King has left you in such a vulnerable, and problematic state. And I’m sure you’ve taken note of how everyone’s been acting around you – constantly walking on their tiptoes in fear of setting you off on a hissy-fit. You’ve caused them to worry a lot about you, dear. Poor ol’ Charlie, especially.” 

You open your mouth to retort back, but nothing came out. A strong pang of guilt struck you as his words began to sink in. Seeing this, Alastor’s grin widened a faction as he stepped forward and levelled himself with you, now facing you eye-to-eye. “And as the executive producer of this fine establishment, might I critique that your behaviour is affecting our team’s morale and performance…and we mustn’t have that now, should we? Especially not since we’ve all been more preoccupied recently with our guests!” He…had a fair point, as much as you didn’t want to admit it.

“I…I’m sorry. I didn’t…know…” Your voice began to trail off, shoulders slumping in realisation of how selfish and contemptuous you’ve been acting this whole week. You recalled the fretful expressions of your friends and your dismissive attitude towards them. “I-I didn’t mean to make everyone worry…” you quietly say. Alastor’s words only made you feel immensely worse about the whole situation, leaving you sniffling on the spot. 

“Now, now. As long as you realise your mistakes, then you shall be forgiven,” he coos, softly patting the tuft of your head. At that, you couldn’t help but send a doubtful glance his way. “W-wait a minute…why do you care all of a sudden? What exactly are you playing at?” You suspiciously question as you rub at your eyes. 

“Oh, how you wound me, dear! Why must you always question any act of kindness I display? Is it really that hard to believe?” He adverts, evidently feigning hurt. You deadpan. “Yes, it is,” you reply almost instantly. Alastor chortles at your bluntness, “Haha! You’re quite a work of art, aren't you, dear? Now, let’s go out for a walk, shall we?” 

Before you could’ve processed what he had said, Alastor had already spun you around, pulling you with him as you both headed down a flight of stairs. “Wha–Alastor, where are we–where the heck are you taking me?” You asked, trying to keep up with his long strides so as to not trip down the stairs. “Hm? Did I not already specify? It looks like your brooding has impacted your hearing, dear. That’s a shame,” he slyly comments, now dragging you towards the entrance, “We’re both going for a walk around town, it’ll help clear that cloudy head of yours!” 

“Hold on-Stop! Just what makes you think I’d agree to go out with you?” You shoot back, retracting your arm from his hold and stopping metres behind him. Alastor sharply turns around and pulls out a wrinkled, yellow piece of paper out of thin air. Your eyes dart towards the sheet, seeing a familiar hand-writing across the page. 

“Why, I just knew you were going to question me – you're so predictable. But might I add, we’re not going out without purpose! No, no! Our lovely Charlie has composed a list and requested we fetch a couple items in town!” Stepping forward, you swiftly snatched the paper from his clawed hand and briefly scanned the list, noting that it largely consisted of decorations and party items. “She wanted to organise a heart-warming celebration for the wayward souls here who have accomplished some milestones on their journey to redemption! An anniversary ceremony of sorts, if you will,” Alastor explains, lightly patting the non-existing dust off of his suit.

“But couldn’t you just…I don’t know, teleport the things here?” You blatantly ask, raising a brow at him. You knew he was more than capable of doing such minuscule tasks within a span of seconds. “And waste such a beautiful day outside? Now, why would I even consider doing that?” Alastor states matter-of-factly, “And like I said, the short trip will help clear your troubled mind! Consider it a gesture of compassion from yours truly.” 

There was clearly something off about all this but you couldn’t see any reason for an ulterior motive. It was just…simply a manager looking out for the well-being of his work-colleagues, as uncharacteristic and off-putting as it sounded out loud. Already exhausted, you couldn’t bring it in yourself to question his actions any further.

“You’re really not going to take ‘no’ for an answer, are you?” You ask. Seeing the way Alastor’s grin widened had you sighing in defeat. “Shall we then?” Alastor questions, offering an arm out to you. Rolling your eyes, you loop one of your arms through and follow him out the hotel. ‘A small walk wouldn’t hurt…�� you think to yourself as the doors shut behind you. 

Currently:

Lucifer tiredly dragged himself to his designated room in the hotel, to rest for a while and take a much needed bath as per Charlie’s advice. He gave himself a lengthy pep-talk in front of the mirror as he brushed his teeth, deciding to approach you tonight to finally talk and clear things out. Yes, he was absolutely terrified about the possibility of things going south during the confrontation, but he didn’t think he could handle another second being without you. And he needed to make that loud and clear. 

After putting on an outfit and neatly slicking his hair back, Lucifer looked at his reflection once more in the bedside mirror, inspecting himself up and down to flatten any remaining creases of his clothing. But it wasn't until his gaze landed on his left hand that he tensed up. Peering down, he brought his hand into view to inspect the very wedding band that caused it all. With a shaky sigh, Lucifer slowly pulled the ring off of his finger. He took a moment to examine it, eyes filled with sentiment before kneeling down to open his bedside drawer, where its designated ring-box sat. The moment he encased the ring in its box and locked it away in his drawer, it felt like a breath of fresh air. To his own surprise, Lucifer found himself tearfully laughing – he felt...genuinely happy. Proud, even. It was at this very moment that he felt like he was finally ready to move forward.

After patting the stray tears away from his face, Lucifer slowly made his way down to the front lobby. There, Charlie and Vaggie were talking amongst themselves by the lounge area, whilst Angel and Cherri chuckled away by the bar, with Husk tending to their beverages. The King didn’t give an inkling of care as to where Alastor had gone, and he was certain that Nifty was hiding somewhere in the small crevices of the hotel, cleaning away. All in all, there was no sight of you whatsoever, visibly disappointing him. 

Seeing his approaching form, Charlie waved his father over towards them. “Hey, dad. Are you feeling a bit better now?” She asks with a comforting smile. “Yeah, totally. Thanks, dear,” he says, patting her shoulder affectionately before turning his attention towards her partner. “Hey! How’s it going, Maggie? I’ve heard you’ve been working real hard lately, huh? Good on yah!” He commends, playfully nudging the said demon. “Oh, um…it’s–it’s Vaggie, sir. And uh, thanks,” she nervously chuckles, rubbing her arm. “Mhm, yeah…that’s–that’s great,” Lucifer distractedly hums, all the while scanning around the room. Noticing this, Vaggie shared a worried look with Charlie. 

“Erm, dad, she’s not here at the moment if that’s what you’re wondering,” Charlie starts, alerting her father. “Oh? Well, is she up in one of the guest rooms?” Lucifer asked, gesturing upstairs with a thumb. To his confusion, Charlie appeared somewhat nervous, her hands fidgeting with her suit. “Uh, no, she’s actually not in the hotel at the moment,” Vaggie steps in, “she’s been out doing a couple of errands for us.” Lucifer raised a brow at the slight edginess in her tone, eyes darting back and forth between the two girls. “...Um, alright. What the heck is going on right now?" He asks, pointing an accusatory finger at them both, "You guys are acting sketchy as fuck. Are you...are you guys hiding something from me?" He narrows his eyes. Charlie sucks in a breath, brows pinching together, “Well...dad, t-the thing is–” 

“She’s out with Smiles right now!” Angel suddenly intervened, calling out from the other side of the room, and causing Charlie to cower and duck behind Vaggie. Lucifer felt his shoulders grow rigid. “She’s…what now?” He dangerously asks, glaring at the arachnid. Before Lucifer trudged towards the direction of the bar, the front doors of the hotel abruptly flew open. He felt the vein in his neck nearly burst at the sound of your laughter interlacing itself with that god-awful, irritating radio feedback. What a wild coincidence.

As Lucifer turned around, his eyes nearly flew out of his head as he saw how close you were with Alastor, arms basically locked together. The radio-demon was quick to meet eyes with the King, and out of spite, Alastor flashed him the biggest shit-eating grin he's ever seen.

“Oh, fuck no!”

Chapter III - Finale [x]

Thank you for reading!

[regal-rosebuds]

ꔫHow to Voluntarily Age Regress

ꔫHi all! I wanted to post this, but I can't call it as much a "guide" as I usually would, since it is purely my anecdotal experience!

ꔫNonetheless, I hope this is helpful to you in your endeavors!

ꔫTypically, when I am trying to regress, I start with age dreaming! This comes with a number of things, maybe it's:

Watching cartoons or another piece of media that I find comforting or that I've found puts me in the space

Coloring a picture or doing worksheets

Babytalking with my cgs, babysitters or other in-community friends

^Asking my cgs/babysitters to care for me as if I am already regressed

^^Generally interacting with other littles or friends I find comforting

Scrolling agere tags on here or ingesting other agere content

Using little gear like pacis, bottles, etc.

Playing with toys or playing video games that I've found put me in the space

Listening to a playlist that one of my cgs made me

Writing agere headcanons or making content of my ocs who regress

Daydreaming about agere outings, playdates, etc.

Going shopping and looking at toys

Cuddling, holding hands, getting my hair pet, etc.

ꔫThis is just a short list of things I've put together, there's a lot more that could be done, especially since it's extremely individual! This is just what works for me!

ꔫFrom there, I try to maintain this comforting and safe space by not taking on any work/responsibilities or really anything else not suitable for my small age.

ꔫAnd, it’s not like it’s a 100% success rate either! Sometimes, I’m just not feeling it; sometimes, I just continue age dreaming for the rest of the night! For me, you can’t really force it — it’s okay if it does happen, it’s okay if it doesn’t!

ꔫSome other helpful things:

I find it much easier to slip when I’m tired.

You might feel kinda silly being big and trying to do your small things, but that’s okay!

It’s not just a switch one can flip, so don’t be frustrated if it doesn’t come easily!

It’s different for everyone — for some people it comes really easily, for some people not so easily. Some people need to do a specific set of things and have a specific set of conditions to regress. Going further:

Not everyone can voluntarily regress, and that’s okay, but there’s no harm in trying it out!

ꔫWhile this isn’t as educational as my other posts, I still hope that you are able to find it helpful!

[charliemwrites]

Mafia!Price warm up because I am… so tired. I’ve had back-to-back events the last few days and ya bitch canNOT hang. So, while I rehydrate and wait for caffeine to work it’s magic, here’s this:

Part 1 here

No Content Warnings

Mr. Price is the best boss you’ve ever had. He’s straightforward and blunt, but unfalteringly courteous. Likes things a certain way — his own way — but that’s nothing you’re unfamiliar with from rich men responsible for billions. At very least, he seems to respect when you challenge him.

“We’ve always done records this way,” he says.

“Yes, sir,” you answer serenely, “but that was before you had me.”

He stares you down and you beam right back, tablet balanced on your forearm. One beat, two. In the corner of your eye, you see Gaz shift. You tilt your head at your boss.

He sits back in his big office chair, thumb swiping over his index and middle fingers. A gesture you’ve been mentally cataloguing as “contemplative” — perhaps deciding if he’s annoyed or amused. You don’t let yourself get nervous seeing it; you’re good at your job and you know it. He’s going to know it too, by god.

“And what do you have to do with it, luv?”

Your smile stretches wider as you take that as an invitation to round his desk. He turns and shifts a bit to make room for you, eyebrows ticking up as you set a neatly paper-clipped report in front of him, highlighted for convenience.

“See here?” You point at one section, a list of finance records. “Inconsistencies that the accountants took two months to notice. Two!”

He grunts as you set it aside, face up, for further perusal and then show him the next set. Different highlighter (and a smiley face in the corner).

“And look here, doing it this way, we noticed the discrepancies within a week,” you explain.

He picks up the page, eyes scanning over it thoroughly before setting it down. Taps his index finger over the discrepancy (circled in bright red) twice.

“Would you happen to have the account — ah, thank you.”

You hum, smoothing the sticky note (hot pink, shaped like a heart) onto the page. “So what do you think, sir?”

He runs a hand down his face, palm rasping over his beard. But there is a grateful note to his gaze as he glances at you.

“We’ll be doing it this way from now on, then.”

“Thrilling, sir. I’ll send out a memo.”

He waves you off, frown already forming on his face. You politely leave his office, stop by the break room to make a fresh cup of tea (a dollop of cream only, no sugar) and knock on the closed door. It’s Gaz that opens it.

“For the boss,” you say. “Before heads start rolling.”

“You’re a doll,” he breathes, accepting the cup and slipping back inside.

You happily toddle back to your desk and begin calling appointment confirmations. You’ve got about a million emails and a hundred calls to make.

—

Working for Price also comes with some… eccentricities. For one, you have a driver now.

Usually Farah, sometimes her partner Alex. On the rare occasion it’s Gaz. They always usher you into the backseat. On rainy days (so, most days in the UK) they hold an umbrella over your head while you scurry into the luxury leather interior of whatever stupidly expensive ride you’re taking.

That was a non-negotiable when you and Mr. Price discussed the details of your employment contract with him. Something about safety…? You feel silly being driven to work as an assistant, but it was your first encounter with the Steel Gaze of Decision and it was unfortunately effective.

Not that you mind the rides! All three of your usual drivers are wonderful. So friendly and chatty. You love hearing about Alex’s niece and Farah’s hobbies, Gaz’s little “spats” with Soap. You spoil them with extra treats from whatever bakery you make them stop at for morning breakfast. (Always local, you love supporting small businesses and strong arm Price into doing so as well).

There’s the gun as well. You’ve only seen it once or twice, always discreetly hidden under his suit jacket. A shoulder holster, all black. Pretend that you don’t see it because… well, you’re not entirely sure it’s legal and you’d rather live in the blissful cloud of plausible deniability.

And speaking of — there’s his bodyguard. To be fair, bodyguards aren’t a new or weird presence with your bosses. Expensive men, they need protection. Ghost is a different kind though.

He always covers the lower half of his face — actually, he’s covered head to toe. Usually in black, sometimes with little skeleton or skull motifs. And he’s fucking big, which is saying something because Mr. Price isn’t a small man either.

Ghost hardly interacts with you, but he’s unfailingly polite when he does. Not talkative, but he holds doors for you, has walked you down to the car. Even once attitude-checked a guest that decided to be rude to you. Didn’t even say anything, just walked into the guy’s personal bubble and stared him down until he subsided. Then he turned, gave you a nod, and you squeezed his arm before toddling off to let Price know his appointment had arrived.

All around the vibes in the office are pleasant, if sometimes stuffy. A little odd. All of his employees are polite if not kind to you, and Price himself is a fair and reasonable man — at least with you.

(The first time you heard him raise his voice through the closed office door nearly scared the daylights out of you. He always uses a low, even tone when speaking to you, so to hear his voice booming like that was something of a shock. Even more shocking was when he opened the door — damn near throwing his “guest” out — before turning to you.

“Call Farah when you have a mo’, would you?” He asked, calm as you please.

You blinked, still having war flashbacks of your last boss. “Yes, sir.”

“Cheers, luv.”)

There’s also the “field trips” as you call them.

Mr. Price is something of a very “hands on” businessman (“micromanager” you tease when he’s in a good mood) who has a hand in several industries. One of them is shipping. Which means that sometimes you find yourself standing beside him in warehouses or at loading docks. And of course you have to go, you’re his assistant! You take meeting notes, provide information or report details. Basically act as his second brain while he reams out idiots or organizes plans.

You suck it up, but you rather hate the smell of low tide. And the occasional gusts of blood on the sea breeze from fishermen gutting their catches. Price catches you looking ill once or twice and at least makes an effort to keep things short after that.

“Poor thing,” Soap teases when you’re in the back of the car, fussing at your wind-swept hair. “Get a bit blown, did you?”

“MacTavish,” Price snaps.

That’s the other thing. Even the slightest hint of suggestive or inappropriate words at your expense are met with firm, almost harsh, reprimand from your boss. It does wonders for you nerves and your respect for him.

“Wish I’d known we were going to the docks,” you sigh, carefully picking at pins to fix your hair. “I would have used more hairspray.”

“Thought I told you?” Price says.

“No, sir, you did not,” you answer, long-suffering. “You know you can put it into the scheduling app, right?”

He blinks. “Scheduling app.”

You blink back at him. “Oh, dear. Here, look at this.”

You spend the entire ride back to the office showing him how your scheduling software works so that you don’t have to deal with any more surprise dock visits.

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Masterlist

[crishayle]

Part of Fortune in the houses

Part of Fortune is a point of happiness in your natal chart. It is on it that you can see where and how to look for your luck. For a more accurate interpretation of this placement, please see the sign and aspects of your Fortune.

Part of Fortune in the 1st house:

Your luck lies in your independence. If you need to make a decision, don't listen to anyone. You really attract good luck when you are in full control and accept your life. Luck turns away from you when you start to envy others or compare yourself and your successes with someone else.What is the secret of luck? In independence, focus only on your life and yourself. It is important to learn to appreciate your desires and not put them below others.

Part of Fortune in the 2nd house:

Your luck lies in finding a balance between material and spiritual values. When you focus only on one thing, you may notice how your resources are being cut off in this area.What is the secret of luck? In the ability to be content with the small and enjoy the big. Appreciate every little victory you have. Keep a balance between the material and the spiritual.Think about your career, but don't forget to text to friends and family :)

Part of Fortune in the 3rd house:

Your luck lies in communicating with other people. I don't know if you believe in fate or not, but I do. I have repeatedly met people with Fortune in the 3rd house who said that talking to other people radically changed something in their lives for the better. Simply put, share your thoughts and ideas with your friends. You will definitely find inspiration!What is the secret of luck? In communication with other people. Also, the 3rd house is responsible for thinking, so most often such people can really attract positive/negative into their lives with just the power of thought. Don't be afraid to discuss your ideas and motivate yourself more and then everything will work out :)

Part of Fortune in the 4th house:

Your luck lies in caring and kindness. Here the rule "give and get twice as much" applies. Luck can turn away from you because of greed, avarice and evil. Also a little advice from a man with Fortune in the 4th house:clean the house more often so that more things, food and money come to the house. What is the secret of luck? In generosity, care and kindness. This person always gets his good back because of the boomerang effect.

Part of Fortune in the 5th house:

Your luck lies in creativity. Stop, I know that everywhere the 5th house is associated only with creativity, but please read on. Creativity in the broadest sense of the word is the ability of a person to create something of his own. It may not be related to art. I have friends with Fortune in the 5th house who have opened their own business or those who are engaged in science. In general, these people create something unique of their own. What is the secret of luck? In creating something unique. Such people achieve success when they reveal their abilities and are not afraid to be themselves. Don't be shy, try and experiment.

Part of Fortune in the 6th house:

Your luck lies in your health. One of the coolest placements.Of course, human health needs to be looked at throughout the natal chart, but whatever you get infected with, you will recover. This is one of the indicators of strong immunity, physical endurance, successful operations, and sometimes longevity. What is the secret of luck? In human health and his ability to wait. The 6th house is responsible for discipline and patience. For such a person, success in his career or personal life may come later than he expects, but it will definitely be worth it.By the way, try to create your own ritual or good luck charm.

Part of Fortune in the 7th house:

Your luck lies in other people.No kidding, career successes and other good things start to happen when you work in a team. Some of my friends with Fortune in the 7th house, thanks to friends, found a good house at a bargain price or had an internship at their favorite company. What is the secret of luck? People nowadays are the most important resource. Communicate more and get to know people. The 7th house in astrology also represents the soul mate. If Venus and the Moon are also in good placements in your natal chart, then Part of Fortune in the 7th house can speak of a happy marriage:)

Part of Fortune in the 8th house:

Your luck lies in the risk. You know, the case when a person doesn't need to do anything to find good luck. The catch is that he gets lucky only at the VERY LAST MOMENT. At the same time, people with placements in the 8th house feel their karma very subtly. Do not be arrogant and do not use your luck for selfish purposes.What is the secret of luck? In the ability to appreciate the gifts of fate. For example, I have a friend with Fortune in the 8th house who complained that he could not buy a new iPhone (although his current phone worked fine) and it was stolen the next day. Fortune in the 8th house is really cool (I'm a little jealous even), just always appreciate what you have and then get 2 times more.

Part of Fortune in the 9th house:

Your luck lies in curiosity. The 9th house is the ability to know the world. People with Fortune in the 9th house can successfully change their profession, get a second higher education or fly to another company for an internship. You have endless potential, so being in the comfort zone only moves luck away from you.What is the secret of luck? In change and curiosity. I understand that sometimes it's scary to leave your comfort zone, but Fortune in the 9th house even encourages mistakes. Luck seems to be trying to teach and add more life experience to a person with this placement.

Part of Fortune in the 10th house:

Your luck lies in discipline and patience. I have not yet met a single person with Fortune in the 10th house who would just be so lucky. These people achieve a successful career or a happy relationship as if climbing a mountain.What is the secret of luck? In diligence and patience. Every time the hope leaves you that all your labors are in vain, remember that you have already passed half the way and the rest is quite a bit. The 10th house is a very long time house in astrology. Yes, it takes a lot of time, but after all, luck will be with you for a long time as well. Saturn (the planet of the 10th house) is very fair!

Part of Fortune in the 11th house:

Your luck lies in the development of spiritual skills. It is very important to keep order in your head. I noticed that such people tend to attract events with words and their thoughts. It is important to maintain a balance between heart and mind.What is the secret of luck? In balance. The 11th house is actually not as crazy as many people think. As soon as a person with this placement finds inner peace and realizes what is really important to him in life, luck begins to patronize him. Listen to your heart and be friends with your mind and everything will be fine :)

Part of Fortune in the 12th house:

Your luck lies in the secret. It's like you're lucky while no one is watching. The very case when you don't need to talk about your plans and dreams to people and then everything will come true. A little more advice:listen to the signs of fate. If the other placements of Fortune achieve success through people, time, karma, self-development, then you are lucky alone.What is the secret of luck? Happiness loves silence. Don't brag and don't share your plans.Less words, more action and everything will work out :)

You can write what questions about the Part of Fortune you are concerned about. I plan to write 2 more very interesting articles about it, so wait :)

[cvnt4him]

No wait wait… this came to me at 11:00 pm-

Izuku asking his best friend for tips on flirting, so she shows him, getting all close and backs him up against the wall, and figures she’s going too far, and starts to back off, but Izuku just ends up kissing her. I’m gonna write this as well, but I wanna see your version!

:)

You got it candie<33

You and izuku were studying for whatever you could, just talking and joking around chatting about whatever topic happened to pop up between the two of you. A small silence fell upon you two, it wasn't an uncomfortable one just one that happened on its own.

Something had clearly been on izukus mind all day, it seems whatever it was had poked it's head back into his mind. A small frown painting his freckled face. He stopped studying and just started fiddling with his pen, twirling it around his fingers with a sigh.

He sets his pen down and turns to you, wide eyes staring at you pleadingly. You turned slowly to face him with a small grin and a scoff, why'd he been looking at you like that? What was going on behind those big big eyes of his?

“ may I help you?”

He whined in response. Izuku was known for getting easily embarrassed, he turned as red as a strawberry sometimes. You had an effect on him that seemed to always fluster him, whether it be just a look or the way you touched him. He liked it and wanted to learn.

“ how do you .. like, how do you uhm..”

“ uhmmmmm??”

“ f- flirt? I... guess?”

That was a complete surprise. Your eyes went wide as you like jumped back like you were stunned. You hummed biting both of your lips and furrowing your brows. A small pout formed on izukus face, he whined once more a small blush creeping onto his baby-like cheeks as he gently punched you in the arm.

You were one of izukus closest friends, he held you near and dear to his heart. None of his other friends flirted like you though, you always had much more of an effect on him than others. He wanted to learn from you, for educational purposes of course.

“ what uh..— why?”

“ huh?”

“ just.......why.”

His eyes darted from side to side with a confused and still bashful expression on his face. what did you mean?

“ I... don't follow.”

“ like. ugh— WHY, do you want to learn how to flirt??”

His eyes widened before he looked away, blush raging across his cheeks. He murmured something underneath his breath, you hadn't heard him but completely guessed.

“ oh— ITS A GIRL ISNT IT!”

He perked up, his face and ears completely red as he turned to you before slamming his head on the desk, you gasp dramatically then laugh maniacally standing and jumping all around. Izuku hadn't had many crushes before, he hasn't even had a girlfriend. To think this 22 year old man has never had a girlfriend, it's shocking because he's a very attractive guy he's literally the kind of guy every girl goes online complaining about wanting. He's a walking green flag.

You sat back down slightly out of breath with a wide smile on your face, izuku peeked up before trying to hide his face again you grabbed him by his cheeks and made him look at you, his eyes widened as he looked you directly in your eyes.

“ you wanna learn how to flirt — I'm gonna teach you.”

Izuku gulped before calming himself, a small blush was still present sure but the intenseness had gone, his cheeks were still warm as you taught him the basics. Small things like holding eye contact, giving compliments which he was very good at.

“ what uhm... aboutlikemakingout..”

You stopped talking and turned to him. You hadn't exactly heard what he said, it was all smashed together and incoherent. You turned your head to the side slightly and hummed.

“ uhmmm. what!!”

You say with a faux smile, he couldn't look at you just fiddling with his fingers and stalling not wanting to repeat himself. He was nervous but craved to learn.

“ just.... what about...like.. kissing.”

“ huh?”

“ kissing.....”

“ bro what.”

“ k- kissing!!”

He exclaimed loudly. Hiding his face in his hands with a groan. You blinked at him with no expression, was he seriously getting bent out of shape over learning how to kiss? I mean sure it's kind of embarrassing kissing someone when you dont know how but, seriously?

“ zuku, that's what you were so nervous about? dude that's easy. just like pucker your lips n’ kiss. that easy.”

“ n-no but like.. urgh. I mean like.. making out? I guess? how do you just like keep it going...”

The way he looked at you, his eyes searching for something. You could tell he craved for something more.

You hum and think. Most of the time when you've made out with people the only thing on your mind is.....nothing! who thinks about things when they're making out?!

“ it's simple really,”

‘is it.’ Izuku thinks to himself.

“-all you really do is kiss. if you aren't sure about the mechanics of...well, anything, just let them take the lead.”

That seems easy enough but little did you know; he's petrified! He doesn't know how to kiss anyone. It's never happened to him before!

The frown that came onto his face was so sad n silly you couldn't help but smile. You clear your throat and think. ‘Is there any other way you can help him?’

Just as you were about to propose an idea, izuku speaks up.

“ can you..kiss me?”

The shocked face you made nearly made him cry. He whimpered and quickly looked away covering his mouth, he could not believe he just said such a thing.

“ i- I'm sorry I didn't mean it! Y'know what- let's just forget about this!”

He was quick to stammer an apology, instantly springing up and gathering his things to leave.

“ wait wait wait, hey stop!”

You quickly grab him and pull him back down to you. He was shaking in your hands.

“ hey, it's okay. really... sure, I can..kiss you.”

You give him a half smile and speak softly to him. He sniffled he wished you didn't speak to him like this, he wished he hadn't just embarrassed himself. He feels as if you feel pressured to do so because he said something as stupid as that.

You sounded so unsure it broke his heart.

“ you don't have -”

“ I know. I want to.”

He gasped lowly and looked in your eyes before gulping down. A red blush rushing to his freckled face. He had a wobbly expression that was quite weary, it fit exactly how this poor thing felt.

You ushered him closer so you could grab either side of his face, both of your hands finding themselves in his cheeks. You give him a small smile, this one more comforting and welcoming. As if you bear no judgement.

He bites the skin on his lip before you move your thumb and pull his lip from his teeth. His lip was quivering and you could slightly feel the roughness of it. He had a biting habit, normally doing it when he was stressed nervous or thinking. So y'know, all the time.

His breaths were uneven and jittery, he fiddled with his fingers and his eyes stayed locked onto you, he let you do anything you wanted to him. anything.

With a final sigh you move in slowly craning your head slightly to the side as you leaned in, izukus eyes widened and frantically moved across your body before squeezing shut. He whimpered lowly underneath his breath as your lips finally gently landed onto his.

To describe his lips would be; rough and quite plump yet pillowy/doughy. He had no idea what he was doing but all the more reason to help him learn!

You held his face closely and began pulling him deeper into the kiss. To help him of course! Not because you wanted to or anything! That would be.. ridiculously ridiculous.

His breathing slowed down yet his heart was still racing, practically beating out of his chest. His hands had stilled in his lap as he was completely taken away by the kiss.

You opened your mouth in the kiss which caused him to do the same, taking your advice to heart. He let you take complete control and just copied what you did.

Unintentionally you let your tongue swipe against his bottom lip causing him to jump a little. It startled him and he didn't know what to do with this. He'd be lying if he said it wasn't hot though.

Your tongue seemed as if it had a mind of its own diving into his mouth and dancing with his. He didn't know what he was doing but he played along with it. A groan let his mouth as he felt your tongue against his. It was so....weird yet enticing.

He'd be lying if he said he didn't want more.

You could tell by the way he was heavily breathing through the kiss and occasionally through his nose that somehow he was getting breathless. You pulled away and let him catch his breath only for him to take a singular breath before pulling you back in, grabbing you by your thighs and pulling you into his lap.

Izuku held your hips tightly, his scarred hands gripping you like you were a cure for his illness. He wanted more, he was already so drunk off of what little you gave him. He needed more.

But just as you two were getting comfy a knock came to the door. Causing you to jump back and break the kiss again. He groaned in annoyance. His first time kissing someone gets interrupted. How lame

You were about to speak before izuku put his large hand around your mouth.

“ dont. maybe they'll go away.”

You look at him with wide eyes before slowly nodding. He kept his hand around your mouth though, just to ensure you didn't let out a noise.

You both waited for a couple of minutes before the sound of footsteps fading was heard momentarily.

Izuku removes his hand and sighs heavily.

“ well that was... something, huh?”

“ yeah...”

Izuku seemed quite disappointed the ‘lesson’ had to end.

“ so. whaddya think? how was your first make out session?”

fucking amazing. He wanted that shit to never end. He wanted to hold you closely once more and feel your soft lips on his. He wanted you to take his breath away and more.

“ it was cool!”

Yeah. ‘cool’.

“ it uhm, was very informative.”

“ yeah?”

“ mhm! although, tongues feel......weird.”

“ yeahh..”

You both blankly stared at one another before bursting into laughs.

You just hoped that this wouldn't cause any problems for you two in the future. It shouldn't though! Right?

AN: this is very old. I've only now finished it because I had the time.it's been a while since I've written anything, ik this isn't kinktober but I will be out with ‘wardrobe malfunction’ soon so don't kill me pls

[writella]

The Confession

Synopsis: Confessions shared with the wrong person gone so sinfully right.

Details: rick grimes x reader, afab!reader, smut—masturbation, unprotected sex, riding, both rick and reader being desperate in the dark. I made the exact reason for the confession and occasion very vague. 18+, wc: 2.6k. Proof read, but there might be some errors.

A/N: Not sure how much I like this one, but I had this idea back in early October and I wanted to finish it and give you guys something after a whole month.

I miss you, I’m sorry. Hope you’re all well!! With love from writella. ♡

Your voice is solemn and heavy as you sigh before starting, “I don’t do this very often,” you say, “I hope this is okay.” Your eyes lowering shamefully as you stop. It’s only the first sentence and you’re finding it hard to continue. It’s almost as if there are needles piercing into your throat. “I just feel so embarrassed,” you admit.

Then you pause.

No response from him comes after.

Only silence fills the dark and hallow space of the wooden confession box. Only your thoughts, every creak you made on the built-in bench, and the light wind that rustled from the cracked door were heard.

You wait a second longer.

Hoping.

But still, nothing.

Part of you was suspecting that Gabriel would have been more inviting, telling you it’s okay; and doing so with his kind and gentle voice, but he wasn’t. He wasn’t doing anything it seemed. You only saw the silhouette of his face when you walked inside— the outline of a nose and mouth, really. He seemed to be sitting as far from the small barred window as he could, but you didn’t dare look again. You didn’t even turn on the light fixture in the corner. Your fear was all too big, and his unwavering quietness made it worse.

Maybe you had come at the wrong time, maybe you interrupted him. You almost wanted to ask. But maybe confessions happened in complete silence… you didn’t know anymore, but at this point, you were hoping so. You had already wasted five minutes and managed only one sentence. Perhaps he heard the fear in your voice and was just trying to be a good listener… yes, maybe, you pretend as you urged yourself to start again:

You breathe in sharply, “Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.” The words come out in an uneasy, hushed whisper. “It happens a lot and I know it’s wrong. And you’re probably going to look at me differently after this, but I have to tell someone so I can stop.”

Your eyes screw shut, the next phrase coming out jumbled and continuous as you try to explain yourself quickly: “I’ve journaled about it and told myself it’s wrong but it’s not helping.” You start to weep, almost laughing at yourself, “I feel so stupid.”

You sigh and you almost think you hear him do so too, but you keep going.

“I’ve been thinking about someone,” you finally say. “For a long time. And I know it’s bad, I know it, but I do it anyway. It's all I think about.”

Another pause.

You catch your breath.

You wait.

But nothing.

So, you start again.

“I think I love him sometimes.” And if you couldn’t get any more timid, your cheeks flush, and your voice grows quieter, “I like his hair, and his eyes, those button-downs he always wears…” you smile at yourself, these were silly things, “Even his beard.”

And then you hear him shuffle, and a light sound is emitted.

It startles you, but silence ensues again thereafter. Maybe you imagined it.

“I like his kindness too. People would usually say strong or giving, but that’s what I like to tell him— that he’s kind. I think he’s kinder than other people give him credit for. He’s just protective. Everyone, and especially himself, we put a lot of pressure on him to make the hard decisions, but, really…” and there it is, “that's not the only way I think about him. There are things–” your throat tightens again– “ things that I think about. And things that I do.” Your eyes screw tight as you force yourself to say it, “I touch myself.”

Another bout of silence comes before the question.

One you’d never suspect.

“Can you describe it?” The voice asks, dark and curious.

The cool spring air of the night turns cold, but it adds no relief to the summer heat that burns in your heart as it begins to beat painfully. The texture in his voice, the inflection at the end that lined the sentence as a request, it rings through one ear and out the other and back again in a cycle.

You knew who it was.

“What?” You shriek so lightly as if playing dumb would help you now. He knew who you were talking about, you made it so desperately obvious.

“Can you,” he repeats steadily, “describe it?”

“I… shouldn’t.”

“What other better time could there be?” You can’t tell if he truly means it. His voice remains firm and lets out no hints of his true intentions, but despite doubt, you start anyway. He’s right after all, you’re in here because there hasn’t been a better time.

“I- I start by touching up my thighs, trailing up slowly… I always get so nervous… I never do it fast because I know I shouldn’t do it while thinking about you- about him,” you correct yourself, squeezing your thighs together, your hands gripping the bench tightly.

“But you do it anyway.”

“I do,” you reply meekly.

“You can’t help yourself, can you?”

“I can't.”

“What happens when you finally reach all the way up?”

“Gotta touch myself.”

He puts his hands on his knees, making sure his voice stays leveled. “Where do you start?”

“Rubbing my clit.”

“Do it.”

And then you do. You truly can’t help it. Your fingers slide down your hips to the front of your heat, chilly fingers pressing up against your lips over your underwear.

He hears the little sigh as you finally allow your finger to reach your clit in between.

“How does it feel?”

“My fingers are cold right now, so,” a quick breathy laugh leaves you, “ good, really good.” You rub your fingers in slow circles, but your hand and hips jerk, forcing you to speed up, but you try, try to not seem so pathetic to yourself as if there was any attempt at going back now.

His voice’s a slight strain as he asks, “And what do you think about?” He starts to rub his thighs, feeling his cock stir to the side of his jeans, making the material feel tighter than it truly was. His fingers trail closer, knuckles brushing against his erection. He’s pretending like he can stop himself too. “What does he do in your head, sweetheart?”

“He watches,” you say as your movements speed up again. You really can’t help it now, his voice edges you on. Your hand goes under the band of your underwear, fingers collecting wetness below to bring up to your clit, “He’s standing at the edge of the bed,” you tell him, “he’s unbuttoning his shirt, and then he starts taking off his belt… He’s smiling.”

If only you knew that hearing how bad you wanted him was making him do the same thing on the other side.

You’re panting now, one foot comes up to the bench as you slide yourself over to press your back into the corner of the wall, your head tilting back as well, using the assistance to grind into your hand. “He thinks I’m pretty.”

“That's cause are.” He’s lowered his pants now and takes his cock out from under his boxers. Your words make his mouth gape and his eyes close as he begins to stroke himself. “You really are.”

His smile fades as he bites down on his lip lightly. You’re so needy for him and so desperate to admit it. It makes him feel powerful. Almost God-like, despite you both starring as the other’s tempter. So sweet and sinful the sounds you’re making are. How could he not give in? How could he not make you wet for him even at church and stroke his cock as it happens? You’re making it so easy with every whine and little moan you try to withhold. He could hear you getting restless, but he wants to make you want it more, “Keep goin’,” he tells you. “What’s happening now?”

“I put two fingers in,” you whine, “not big enough. Never enough.”

You let your two fingers stay inside you as you press your palm down on your pussy, rubbing your clit with the underside of your hand. You stop for a moment to take off your pants and underwear entirely, discarding it on the floor before you return to your spot. You put one leg up on the bench as you continue to finger yourself.

“I want him so bad.”

“How bad, sweetheart? What would you let him do?”

“Anything, Rick.” You say it louder than you intend, you’re losing yourself. “Anything for him.”

“Anything?”

“Everything.”

After that only nonsense comes out, simple sounds of desire and pleads. It was becoming too much to talk.

Rick felt the same. His hand on his shaft made quick and short movements, his lips parted and pink, more red on the bottom than the top from when bit his lip again at the words anything and everything for him. He repeated it in his mind, listening to your sweet little whines in the present. His head tilts so far back that it bangs on the wooden wall and he hisses.

It reminds him to compose himself.

Even after you let out another moan of his name, and he swears he could almost hear just how wet you are now, the squish of your fingers going in and out, louder and louder.

He swallows hard and takes a breath before he says, “What if I say I want you in here right now?”

That’s when your movements completely stop. You can hear the wind swirling again. You were speechless.

He turns to the netted window. You two can’t see each other but you know he’s looking. “C’mere.” He says slowly. “Now.”

And after that, your body takes control. Swift and instantaneous you move from your door to his, shutting it hard. You don’t even take a moment to look at him, it was too dark anyway, and that’s not what mattered. You’ve already dreamed of his curls, and the pierce of his blue eyes. You knew what he looked like. It’s time to know how he felt.

Rick takes off his shoes and fully lowers and discards his pants. Before he could even consider his shirt, you’re on top of him. You’re kissing his face, your lips and tongue missing his lips by just a little, but it doesn’t matter.

You begin to rock, your wet pussy making the length of his cock and thigh slick before it's even inside of you. You couldn’t help yourself and it makes him laugh, all cocky and proud. Something that you’d cross your arms to, even quip back at in any other situation but right now, it’s so fucking hot.

His hands latch onto your hips, his legs slide back to hit the wall. He raises your frame and you grab him. Your sticky fingers lace around his dick and then you both lower yourself down onto him.

You try to bottom out fast, but his nails dig into you, slowing you down. Your face reaches back with a pout and a whine as he says, “Wait,” even after he’s inside of you.

Your pussy quakes around him. You’re both trying to hold it together, but he’s faring much better than you.

His hand holds your jaw, thumbs caressing your cheeks and a tear falls from your eye, all the sensations becoming too much.

His eyes trail the sight as it rolls down and he tells you, “You’re right. I do think you’re beautiful.”

And he kisses you. Tongue slipping past your lips just as quickly as they depart, going to whisper in your ear: “Go on now,” he smiles, “show me everything.”

You begin to rock against him instantly. Initiating the kiss this time, your tongue slips into his mouth but his goes on top of yours. He grabs the back of your neck, deepening it, and you continue to take charge below as you ride him.

You squeeze around his cock tightly with every movement forward and you hear a strangled groan come out of him as his dick twitches at the sensation.

It makes you moan so loudly, you could wake somebody up.

But it doesn't matter.

You could even come right now just from feeling him inside you for the first time.

And it doesn’t matter.

“I've wanted you for so long, Rick!” You tell him.

He’s all that matters.

“You’ve got me.” He tells you breathlessly, kissing down your neck with his hand tugging on your hair. “You always could’ve.”

Now you know you’re all that matters too.

Your head tilts to the side, eyes closed, and mouth open for each pretty sigh and slight hiss that come out as he bites and kisses.

His hands lower to the hem of your shirt and he pulls it off. You start to undo the buttons on his too.

It’s fast and rushed and messy, but now your chests can meet. You press into him. Your hips are rocking hard. Your clit meets his pelvic bone making you whine and moan again. “Really good,” you say.

Rick’s hands slide to grab your ass, helping you go faster until they rise to your hips again. His thumbs press into the crevice of your hips and legs and he starts to bounce you on him.

You grip onto his arms, assisting him in his efforts. Your eyes are still closed, you’re smiling— already in a state of bliss, yet relishing in the fact that he was pushing you further and further into the dream-like feeling that was to come: your orgasm was close, and the string of airy moans made it evident to you both.

The way his hands move to caress your waist, trail up your back, roll over your arms, and back down again feels like gliding on ice. You felt him everywhere.

“Come on,” he tells you.

“I'm trying, I want to.”

“I know,” he affirms. He takes hold of your upper arms, letting his hands slide down to yours that tightly gripped his biceps and placed them on his shoulders.

You bounce yourself down on him harder, switching it up to rock on him and give your clit attention, then repeat it again.

Once you’re back to bouncing Rick takes one hand on your hip, helping you go faster while the other rubs your clit as vigorously as he can.

Your mouth is open wide, pants and squirms, and pleads coming out wildly. You almost feel like you’re making the whole box jump along with you as you bounce, and bounce, and bounce, and then… there it is: you shout his name and he speaks back to you, you both come together and ride out your high.

A glow emits as you smile, your head crashing into his as you catch your breath.

Then a noise erupts.

The church door closes.

Steps become louder and louder until they reach the open confession box door.

Rick puts his finger to your lips, silently quieting you both. Your eyes are owl wide knowing what the person in the next section would find in there. You almost squirm but Rick slots his finger into your mouth to stop it. “Quiet,” he mouths as the person next to you drops the wet garments they just touched, almost running out of the place as fast as they could.

You lower your face to his shoulder. Embarrassed, you sigh, “What are we gonna do now?”

Rick is unfazed: “Well,” he starts, picking you up by the hips, securing your legs as you wrap them around him, “we could do this one more time.”

He locks the church door and then walks you down the aisle and onto the podium, placing you gently on the ground. He’s standing above you. Just like it all your daydreams.

It was his turn now.

[canihaveacalmtime]

A mafia boss like him never rely on anyone, even his right hand man. He's the solo wolf in a big pack, the person whose ego is just too much to handle.

Eter always tell himself that he never fails so why is he on the verge of death after an assinate attempt and is being treated by a small child like you?

You are an orphan who happened to get lost during a day out with your teacher, you call her mama, and other kids. Well, you just also happened to stumble upon Eter's injured body in the alley way and decided to help him with the medic kit you have in your bag.

When Eter regain his consciousness fully, he asked if you have a phone that can call. You hand him the phone that mama gave you as he calls his men to come get him. The moment you got your phone back was when you heard your mama calling your name.

"So your name is (Y/N)."

You reply before running out of the alley way.

"Yes, please get better and stay safe, mister."

--------------------------

After everything has calmed down, Eter begins thinking about the new emotions after his encounter with you.

He felt like he was cared with love when you treat his injuries, usually, he would treat his wounds himself because he doesn't want to look weak but after being treated for the first time, his thoughts kind of changed.

Not to mention how fragile but warm your little hands were, you're also very thoughtful too despite your age.

It's not like Eter didn't had a thought of having a child, he's scared that he can not take up the responsibility of taking care of a child and the life he lives in, he doesn't even sure if his child would survive to say the least.

He also never received love from anyone before, even his birth parents. So raising a child? That's the impossible mission for a mafia boss.

But his courage soon raise up when he meet you again in the coffee shop he always go to, but you were with your mama this time. The shop was rather vacant at the early morning so as you turn around a saw him, you recognized him immediately and give him a small wave.

Seeing your mama is busy on her phone, you went over to Eter's table to say hi and ask him if he's okay now, he nods. Notice the worker is bringing the food out, you only have time to wave a quick goodbye before helping your mama carry the food bags and leave.

Eter then determined to know everything about you, starting from asking his right hand man to gather information about you. He just can't help but really feel attached to you despite only met a few times.

Knowing that you're an orphan kind of relief him because now he knows that he can adopt you.

From then on, if you notice your surroundings a little more, you'd notice a kind of feeling that you're being watch. But don't be scared, it's just Eter's men ordered to keep you safe whenever to go outside, and they will report back things that you do along with some pictures to Eter.

The main reason why he can't adopt you yet is because his power isn't wide enough to protect you but when it does, he will immediately come to the orphanage and literally snatch you back to his place.

--------------------------

As a first time parent, his actions might be a bit unprofessional at times but he always make sure that you always have your favorite meals and sleep tight every night.

He would also sometimes watch you sleep or just bluntly sleep with you, you don't complain because who would reject a giant body pillow.

Whenever you came back from school with small bruises or in a sobbing state, just know that the ones that hurt you won't be seen the next day at school.

Some nights, while sleeping beside you, watching your small form sleeping, he thought that what if you grow too fast and when you're an adult, you'd leave him or what if you don't want to rely on him anymore. And guess what, he really did thought about some methods to keeo you like this forever but soon shrug it off as his first ever goal when adopting you was to see you grow after all.

Eter also wants your full attention on him whenever he's with you and if anyone dares to stole your attention away, he will give them a deadly glare that they wouldn't want to see it again.

Even though he's a first time dad, he is trying his best. Even a little possessive and protective of you, it's because he loves you so much. To him, you're his light in this dull life, the brush that paint colors into his picture and the reason why he's still going.

Although, don't try to leave him, you wouldn't want to know what's the worst can happen and let me tell you, it's not going to be bright at the least.

--------------------------------------------------

A/N: I wrote this in the middle of the night so please don't mind about the mistakes 😭

[citruslullabies]

Can you do one about Anya, like the Daisuke and Curly posts, please?🙏 They're very good!

Of course sweetheart!!

Anya Mouthwashing headcannons

Trigger warnings!! Miscarriage, Jimmy, obviously if you know the game I'm making subtle hints towards rape, etc etc. read with caution.

Romantic

Pre-crash Anya:

Anya is a very sweet girl honestly

She's not very big on affection - the occasional hug and kiss here and there but she's not very big on touch. Quality time is more her style

All she really needs is to sit next to you quietly, as long as you're there, she feels safe

Especially after what happened with Jimmy. She hates to be alone.

But at the same time she wants to distance herself more

And she hates it

Any time you go in for a hug, she'll flinch

It was any day in space, cold and bland like oatmeal left out on the table. But it felt better almost immediately after you saw her.. the love of your life, Anya. You smile like the sun and walk over, arms wide but.. you watch as she suddenly stops and stares at you. As if you had done something wrong.. her breathing even starts to get faster and she quickly brushes you off and leaves. Leaving you worried and confused.

You can try and try to ask her what's wrong but she isn't sure how you'd react

What if you thought she had cheated on you with her assaulter? She knew many people reacted like that sometimes

She loves you and trusts you, but she needs distance

Much to your dismay, she just suddenly keeps away from everyone one day. Even you.

You long for her little rambles about psychology and medicines

Her quiet humming as you two sit together

It hurts.

Post-crash Anya:

You knew how stressed she was

I mean, how couldn't she be? Everything has gone to shit. Their captain was mutilated on all ends.

And she seemed more afraid than ever.

She started to slowly warm back up to you, but still wouldn't tell you any explanation

No matter how much you begged or pleaded for one

But her time around you seemed different

She was more affectionate than ever before

It was almost like it was a goodbye

She'd always do small things like nudge your hand with hers and give you a weak smile every morning

Almost as if it was a silent goodbye in case she didn't make it through the day

And you finally understood why.

Platonic

Pre-crash Anya:

I imagine you two would be a bit more goofy

If she's not busy, you're just goofing around and making funny faces to make her giggle

You two probably talk about psychology a lot together and your hopes for your futures when you return home

Sometimes she'll let the occasional demented comment slip, but you never paid it much mind

She told you what happened and you were livid

But what could you do about it?? It's not like you could

You had no position of power over Jimmy, the one man who did didn't have enough of a spine to do anything to his friend

All you could do was comfort her

But she slowly but surely drifted further and further away from you, from everybody

And every day you could see her eyes more and more empty

You had noticed her feeling more and more nauseous, cramping more

She was paler

But you assumed it was due to the pregnancy. However you quickly discovered that she took enough painkillers to cause a miscarriage

You supported her and tried to comfort her

But she didn't let you

She wanted to be alone

Post-crash Anya:

After the crash, with responsibilities crashing down on her

She was tired. And you could tell

Her body barely had enough time to recover from her miscarriage before she started to take care of their captain

She was slowly killing herself at this rate

And you couldn't be any more correct.

She just got worse and worse

You swore sometimes you could see her eyes were dead but her body just barely moving

She didn't seem to care anymore

It broke your heart to find her with pills surrounding her.

Atleast your heart wouldn't stay broken for long

Thank you for requesting!!

[w2sology]

Kids fic/dilf Harry plsss

big little boss, harry lewis.

summary: harry just can't seem to say no when it comes to his little girl, especially when she's taken his pestering and temper.

warnings: mentions of baby teething, not proofread!

notes: had to pull out the prompt list for this one 😭 anyways babygirl finally has a name thanks to the beautiful anon who recommended it :))

darcy had recently began teething and it was an absolute mare. you and harry were up later than usual trying to get her to sleep or soothing her pain, and nothing seemed to be working. one of the few things that did work was letting her lay skin to skin on harry's chest until she fell asleep.

however a problem with that was that darcy was a biter. as in anything remotely near her mouth would feel the consequences of her not-yet-there teeth.

harry was taking the brunt of it, his skin littered in little marks from when he'd hold her close to him and she'd just grab at whatever was closest to her. and in response, harry would yelp or cuss, hoping she was still in that phase where she didn't yet understand words enough to repeat them back.

with you on the other hand, darcy was much more gentle. she'd only give you a nibble here and there if your fingers were close to her mouth, somehow being able to sense that the look you were giving her wasn't one of approval.

also, unlike harry you actually utilised the teething toys that were gifted to you two at your baby shower, so darcy was pretty much preoccupied with chewing on something else other than you.

today was a pretty regular day for your small family; harry wasn't filming with the boys and you were still on maternity leave with no plans for the day. deciding to use it as a means to go for a big shop later on, you and harry made a start early on in the day.

"did you make her bottle or should i?" harry mumbled as his arms wrapped around your body, tucked in comfortably right behind you as you made yourself a cup of tea.

"that's alright, love, i already did it," smiling at this soft kisses he left along your neck and on your cheek. "is she up yet?"

harry nodded, telling you that darcy was having a bit of tummy time in the sitting room. and as you looked over, you couldn't help but laugh at the makeshift fort harry had made our of pillows to make sure nothing happened to darcy.

he allowed you to finish your tea, opting to get darcy dressed for the day.

"how the fuck does this go on?" harry mumbled to himself, fiddling with the button on darcy's blouse. he really didn't know why kids clothes had to be almost as complicated as adult clothes.

darcy babbled on to herself as harry slid on her socks, making random noises as harry entertained her too, pretending they were having a conversation of their own.

as he picked her up off of the bed, harry looked through his wardrobe in search of his own outfit for the day.

darcy's head lay on her dad's shoulder poking around at his skin before she stopped briefly.

next thing harry knew, her sharp gums were sinking into his bare shoulder.

"ow─── darc!" he groaned, mismatching her smile and refusal to release his shoulder.

maybe that was harry's fault for not wearing a shirt.

"i told you to wear a shirt around her," you couldn't hold in your laugh as you walked in, taking your daughter from her father's arms and wiping over the baby pink mark that she left on him.

"i didn't know she was gonna fucking bite me at every chance," harry huffed, kissing your lips before leaving to get changed himself.

"you," you said, tickling darcy's tummy and hearing her bright laugh. "need to stop biting your daddy."

it turns out you and harry didn't actually pick a place to shop at. usually you'd go to tesco, sometimes asda or costco. but since you didn't plan which of them to go to, harry ended up driving to tesco.

ever since you gave birth, he'd been offering to drive you around a lot more, slotting away from his preferred role of passenger princess. and you weren't complaining, not one bit.

so as you opened up the makeshift shopping list on your notes, harry sat darcy in the kids's seat of the trolley and began to push her.

shopping with harry usually consisted of him grabbing random things and claiming they were needed, whereas you were more organised and actually took note of what you did and didn't have at home.

now with a little one, it was like harry's role had been multiplied by two. whenever she could reach out for something, darcy would make a show of clinging onto it with her little hands until you and harry had no choice but to take it with you to the till.

as you picked out two boxes of cereal, harry was entertaining darcy, who seemed nothing short of unamused. she watched as her dad poked and prodded gently at her, waiting for a smile to decorate her face.

"what's gotten into you, hm?" he frowned, stroking her cheek with his finger, momentarily forgetting his daughter was teething.

"darc, you've gotta stop biting me," harry whimpered, pulling his finger away from her grip. he looked over at you with a frown, cradling his finger but you were to immersed in the food shoo to realise.

you continued to scroll through the aisles, harry and darcy following right behind you. every now and then you'd turn to harry, holding up and item and he'd either nod yes or shake his head no.

it went on like that for a few moments until darcy grew a little agitated with sitting still for too long. just harry's luck, you guys were near the baby aisle, so he took darcy down there in hopes of finding something to distract her for a little bit.

a small teething toy caught his eye, and actually made him let out a sigh of relief, as if darcy would be able to take it out on the toy now and not on him.

"here you go," he smiled, letting her hold on to it. he wasn't sure if you two would end up buying it or not, so he kept it in its packaging, hoping she'd find some entertainment in just looking at it.

and that she did; she was quiet for the rest of the shop aside from the occasional babble and giggle she let out.

now at the till, harry helped you unload the shopping, and it was then that you noticed the nee toy darcy had. "really, harry?" you held in a laugh.

"what?"

"she's got like ten of those already, and some are in her bag," you gestured to darcy's baby essential bag that you brought with you.

harry glanced down at the bag, then back at you, shrugging as he continued to unload the shopping. "one more won't hurt."

harry was such a girl dad, he couldn't ever bring himself to say no to her. quite like he was with you sometimes.

you rolled your eyes, attempting to take the toy away from darcy to place on the till with the rest of the stuff. "darcy, babe, i'm just going to pay for it," you laughed at her super strong grip, and the frown that replaced her smile, similar to how harry looked when he was moping about.

she shook her head, trying to hide the the toy close to her chest. she looked over at harry with those huge eyes of hers, expecting him to intervene.

and that he did. he let you unpack the small amount of items still in the trolley as he picked darcy out of it, kissing all over her face to distract her from the fact that the toy was no longer in her hands, but instead on the conveyor belt.

but darcy didn't seem to notice. instead, both her small hands were on either side of harry's face, squishing and poking as she smiled and babbled to him.

you didn't know how he did it, it was as if he was just meant to understand her better than you. you didn't mind though, it meant that harry was the one who got the end of darcy's little tantrums instead of you.

when it came to pay for the items, harry reached over and tapped his phone on the card machine, ignoring the glare you were giving him as you collected the receipt.

"you thought you almost got away with it," he laughed, knowing that no matter what, he'd always pay if you were with him.

he helped you but the bags back in the trolley, darcy safely in his hold as you walked back to the car.

when she was buckled in, harry handed her the toy that she surely forgot all about, kissing her forehead. "now you can stop biting me," he smiled, going back to the driver's side.

you smiled at your daughter through the mirror, matching that smile to harry's when he put his seatbelt on.

"why're you looking all soppy, then?"

"nothing," you rolled your eyes, smile still on your face. "just happy, is all."

[shapard]

Feather of Fate🕊️

Lucifer x Seraphim!fem!reader

Soulmate arc

You're eating breakfast peaceful (are you?) and Heaven is a big mess

In pieces

Chapter 1 < Chapter 2> Chapter 3

Heaven was a big mess. 

Nothing new. 

Since you’re gone Emily feels all the pressure that was on you. All your responsibility was handed to her like a silver tablet with no refund. 

It was exhausting. And it didn’t help that Sera was also a big mess. 

She never left Emily’s side, almost like a guard dog. 

She lost her daughter because of her dirty little lies. And is scared that Emily would leave her too.

The arch angels aren’t pleased for her doing. She’s not God.

Her Image now like a Hurricanes aftermath.

No one wants to deal with her not even her own daughter Emily. 

Emily was very distant towards Sera. She doesn’t want to be near her, not after what she has done.

Your Mother sent Emily away when you fell. 

She couldn’t be there for you. She wasn’t there when the most painful thing happened to you. 

She felt ashamed, like a failure. 

You always protect her from the vicious laws of heaven. Sometimes even taking her punishments to protect her. 

And when you needed her the most, she wasn’t there. 

She can’t deny that it’s probably her fault that you fell. Taking all her misleads and getting you into trouble after trouble.

So that she can be safe. 

Talking back towards Sera in the court was the final straw. 

Sera could’ve talked to them, but she didn’t. 

She agreed because of her Image. 

To Sera’s surprise, the upper angels weren’t Impressed.

It didn't help at all.

Not even the winners want to talk with her anymore.

…

Lucifer couldn’t believe his eyes. 

You were awake! 

But not in the state he’d hoped. You were covered in your own blood and the floor was all a mess.  Ceramic was soaked in with the golden color of your blood. 

“What happened?” You didn’t answer. 

Somehow, he knew you wouldn’t answer. Falling from heaven can be quite traumatizing. He talks out of experience.

You couldn’t even keep your wings like he did, the pain must be unbearable. You were definitely not used having no wings anymore. 

You were hiding behind a Blanket, Lucifer found it quite cute and adorable how you were hiding from him. 

But it also hurt him.

Ache.

“Are you hurt?” Lucifer asked you, not wanting to scare you away. You slowly peaked above the blanket. You have to say he is quite handsome. 

“I don’t know if I can trust you.” 

The handsome man looked at you and sighed. “I helped you when you fell out of heaven. You’ve been out for a couple of days. I can help you, please let me help.” 

“Why?” Your mere whispers made his heart squeeze. 

He couldn’t find an answer to your question. 

Was he helping you because he knows how it is? 

To get thrown out of your home, getting ripped apart from the elders. Family not even sparing a glance at you. But there was something else why, but he couldn’t put his finger on it.

“I know how you feel, let me help you.” You nod, you don’t have anything to lose. 

You already fell from heaven and live now in hell. Getting thrown right infront of the bus. 

Letting the Blanket fall from your back showing the man your fresh back wound. 

“Again, the back?” He chuckled, “By the way, the name’s Lucifer.” The name rang in your ear. “The Lucifer?” your voice is kind of soar. 

He snapped his fingers and with a sparkling sound a cup of water formed infront of you. Muttering a small thanks, you grabbed the cup pf water and let it slide down your throat. You hummed in approval. 

“I’m Y/n.” His hands hover over your back and he pulled the ceramic pieces slowly out of your back.

“That’s a beautiful name, Y/n.” Your name out of his mouth felt like sweet caramel. You wanted him to say your name again and again.

You smiled a bit and winced at him removing the splinters. After he pulled the last pieces out, he hovered his hand again over your back.

This time his hands started to glow in gold. His hands radiant heat, it was like a warm summer breeze. 

After a while the feeling stopped, you turned around to take a look at Lucifer. 

“You’re Lucifer?” He nods but didn’t look you in the eyes, he felt ashamed somehow. “Indeed I am.” He finally looks back at you and you beamed a smile at him. 

“You don’t look creepy at all.” That surprised him and he blushed slightly at your sudden forwardness. 

“You should rest. We’re going to talk tomorrow.” He patted your head and walked towards the exit. Giving you a final smile, he went back to his couch. 

You sighed and laid down on the lightly soaked blooded mattress. “I should at least try to sleep.”

…

You didn’t sleep well that night. 

Your back was still hurting even after the treatment Lucifer gave you. 

The blood still sticked on your skin making it quite uncomfortable to stand up. You have to take a shower.

The red Sun lighted the room red. A quick reminder that you indeed are in hell. In comparison to heaven was Hell rather cozy. It was warm and more colorful, even though the colors are very vibrant or dark. 

It was exciting. 

It’s been so long since you felt that kind of Emotions. 

Everything in heaven was the same. You must do the same and be like everyone else. You have to work 24/7, and work 9 to 5 or even worse. Not even a single break, not even for you a Seraphim. 

You worked over night almost every day for your Mother Sera. It pained you when you saw her chilling the while day and Emily flying and playing around heaven. It is your responsibility as the bigger Sister. 

Well, was to be exact.

A knock echoed through the silent chamber making you snap out of your thoughts.

A couple seconds later Lucifer came through the door. Peering inside to see if you’re awake.

“I made you some pancakes.” Lucifer nudges his sharp clawed finger into the direction of the kitchen. 

On a table you see a plate with pancakes, Ice cream and a cup of hot chocolate. He sat down on the mattress. 

His pants started to soak in the semi fresh golden blood. He shrieked and sat up looking at his pants. 

“Are you still bleeding?” He franticly searched for any Injuries on your back. “I’m fine. It’s just the blood that spilled on the bed. Sorry for that.” He let out a sigh of relief, “Let me change the Mattress.” 

He held out a hand for you to take. With hesitation you took his clawed hand. With a pull he pushed you upwards, you gasp at how fast he was moving you. 

Your legs felt like jelly, your head started to spin, and it started to get dizzy. He held you tight before you could fell. “I got you.”

Without any second thought Lucifer carried you towards the kitchen. Your cheeks redden at this behavior. 

His touch was striking you like a lightning bolt. It was a warm comforting feeling. His Arm around your waist left a tingling almost sparkling feeling. The feeling almost made you smile like a fool. 

“Thanks.” It was a mere whisper, but Lucifer heard it very clear. The weird feeling on his arm was distracting him immense, though your voice brought him back out of his thoughts. And he smiled.

Lucifer realized how long he was actually holding your waist. Retrieving his Arm rather quickly he coughed out of distraction.  “Just sit over there.”

“Lucifer?” He hummed and looked at you, the way he chewed the food made you giggle slightly.

You smelled pretty bad. You didn’t want to ask him if you could take a shower, but you have to take a shower. His gentle gaze took your worries away and made her ten times more nervous. 

“Can I take a shower?” Lucifer nods hesitant. “Of course, you can.” He laid down his food and took your hands and walked slowly towards his bathroom. 

… Time skip…

The Shower was very relaxing, even though it was kind of creepy to know that Lucifer was waiting behind the door. 

The food was hellish good, heaven could never. 

In heaven it all tasted the same, very blunt and no emotions in it.  

Lucifer took your plate and cramped his sleeves up to wash your plate. You followed his swift movements and how smooth he washes them. 

It amazed you somehow, washing dishes isn’t something Interesting but how he washes them is just different. 

Then you saw it, his mark. Suspicious Identical like yours. Please no. 

Somewhere in Heaven:

Sera sat Infront of a U-shaped table looking up at none other than the arch Angels themselves. “Sera.” A rather deep voice said making her jolt in her seat.

“Michael.”

A/n: I know this chapter is kind of boring but trust me. It’s going to be good.

[bahablastplz]

All in | Chapter 17

pairing: Lee Felix x f!reader (mafia au)

summary: You didn't know what you were getting yourself into when you started dating Yang Jungwon, notorious mafia boss. Your life gets flipped upside down when you're found beaten and bloody by SKZ, the rival mafia group, and you're quickly integrated into their lives. What will happen when you try to leave your old life behind and start anew?

chapter summary: You made a decision that you seriously hope you won't regret. That, or that it won't kill you first.

chapter warnings: self-harm (in a non-suicidal way), major character death, graphic descriptions of violence, angst

warnings: please see series masterlist for all warnings

series masterlist ~~ series taglist ~~ main masterlist

<< previous ♡ next >>

There are many things that have led to this very moment and you can’t say that you are very pleased with the turn of events, but sometimes you need to take on responsibilities that you don’t really want to. 

Like leaving Felix without saying goodbye. 

You genuinely cry in the car the entire car ride. You think a couple of selfish, self-pitying thoughts. Why did it have to be me? Why do I have to be the responsible one? Why couldn’t I have just gone along with this new, picture perfect life, and let Felix carry me away into the sunset? Of course, of course you want to escape and be happy. But you hold yourself to a higher standard and sense of morality than that, and you just can't let everybody else suffer while you get away scot free. 

You realize the sense of danger that you’re in. The hardest part of it all, however, is not being able to say goodbye to Felix before you leave. Deep down, you think that he would have let you go but he would have wanted to come with you, and even scarier is the thought of something happening to him because of your own reckless decision making. You’re glad that you were able to have one night with him without the looming anxiety of getting caught. 

You just hope that Felix is able to forgive you no matter how this plays out. 

Before you get to your destination, you decide to make a pitstop. You’ve been thinking about what story you want to tell and how you can use your words to your advantage. You stop at the gas station to pull over into the restroom to look at yourself in the mirror. Although you look a little frail, mostly all of your wounds and bruises from all of your past endeavors have completely healed up. That’s a little bit unfortunate for what you plan to do, however. 

The first thing you do is completely mess up your hair. Rustling and tustling it almost to an unrecognizable degree, you make sure that there’s at least a million knots in it before trying to make it look presentable again (the task is impossible). Next, you tear at your clothes, putting rips in your sleeves and your leggings. Thinking for a moment, you laugh at the ridiculousness of what you’re about to do before letting yourself fall to the bathroom floor, the tiles scraping against your hands and knees and making them bleed. 

You re-examine yourself, and while it’s a lot better than what you came in with, you still felt like it wasn’t quite enough. Taking a deep breath, you punched the grimy mirror in the gas station bathroom, watching as it shattered into big shards and fell to the floor. You cringed, knowing you were making quite a ruckus but at the same time it wasn’t likely that anybody would come check on you as there was nobody around for miles. There was just one more thing that would finish the look; taking one small shard of glass, you used it to split your bottom lip. Perfect. 

As you left the gas station and got back into the car, you rubbed some dirt on your face and arms just to make sure you looked as rough as you felt. You were probably only twenty or thirty minutes away at this point, so you needed to make sure that you finished your plan down to a T. 

You pull the car over, taking one last grounding breath and pulling the gun into the waistband of your leggings. On shaky legs, you walk to the door, hoping that the execution of the first part of this plan goes well. 

“I’m here to see Lee Heeseung, please tell him that Y/N L/N is here for him.” 

You don’t have to wait very long. Immediately you’re brought upstairs to see Heeseung and you request a private audience with him. You suppose that he grants your wish because of the waterworks that start flowing the second that he starts speaking to you. The tears come easy to you, you suppose, when you tell yourself to think of Felix instead, but it’s all just a ruse. 

“I made it out,” you manage to tell him. “I don’t really know what’s happened to me, but they took me from him, from J-Jung–” you can’t even manage to say his name. Not after everything that has happened, but this happens to work well in your favor. “They killed him. They’ve taken everything from me. They’ve been using me for months, and then finally, at the gala, I thought Jungwon was going to take me back, but we were still in a fight. He told me that if I could lure SKZ there that he would take me back and we would get back together, but I wasn’t expecting for them to kill him, Hee… please, don’t make me go back there,” you sob. 

Heeseung looks nothing less than confused. It’s clear that he’s been given just about ten different sides of the story, but now that Jungwon is dead there’s no way he can confirm it. There’s only one thorn in the side here… Woojin. But Woojin worked for SKZ first before he betrayed them, and in the technicalities of it all, you’ve known Heeseung for longer and you were the property of ENHA first. 

“They told me that you wanted to kill me after Jungwon died,” you sniffle. “I’m sorry. It feels like it’s my fault. Please don’t kill me, Heeseung, you have to believe me when I say I’ve been through so much. It’s not my fault. Bang Chan is such an evil man… I’ll tell you anything you want to know.”

Heeseung sat for a moment and thought about that. He passed a box of tissues across the table which you gratefully accepted, making a big show of dramatically blowing your nose. 

“I just can’t believe he’s really dead, you know? I just feel like none of this would have even happened if we hadn’t gotten into that fight in the first place. SKZ, they found me outside of the bar and I was unconscious and they took me, Hee. I had no choice.” The tears started up again. “And I tried to leave the first night, and they found me, but Bang Chan, he beat me and he locked me in my room…” 

Heeseung stood suddenly and you froze. You felt a wave of anxiety pass over you and you suddenly wondered if maybe things wouldn’t go the way that you had planned. 

“It seems like I’ve severely misunderstood how things have gone on your part. If you’re truly willing to offer up information, I think we might be willing to work something out between us. Can I offer you a glass of water?” 

You nod your head. As Heeseung leaves the room, you wipe your face and discard the tissue. You’ve made it work. You have really been able to play into the distressed and beaten girl card, and with your previous (though brief) encounter with Heeseung through ENHA, you have been able to tune into what little empathetic side he has. Now, this is truly the important part. Standing behind the door, you pull out the gun and turn off the safety. You’re truly thankful at this moment for the opportunity you had to train with Jisung, though your heart is beginning to thump wildly in your chest. You will your hands to stop trembling, as you know you only have one shot. 

The door cracks open and you see a glimpse of Heeseung’s face before you take aim and fire, watching as Heeseung slumps to the ground. The water spills ungracefully. You hit him square in the face so it only took one shot, so there is no doubt about the fact that he is dead. With a shaky breath you apologize, because it only feels right to calm the aching guilt that overwhelms your chest, before you leave his office. Nobody comes in to check on him. With the loud noise from the bar and the business that takes place around here, you’re sure it’s not an abnormal ambiance. Plus, he might have given his guards a warning since you were on his kill list. That was exactly what you were counting on. 

As you hurry down the hallway overhead the bar, you spot a window that gives you the perfect opportunity to hop down to the first floor and give you the escape you need. You see something out of the corner of your eye however, or someone that hasn’t seemed to notice you yet. In a split second, you have made a decision. Though this strays from your plan, there’s no doubt about it that in making a decision now, you’re tying up a lot of loose ends in the long run. 

Quietly, you sneak up behind him, grabbing the man from behind and pulling him into an empty room. When he feels the cool metal of the gun pressed up against his head, he does not struggle. 

“What the hell, man, take it easy!” Woojin cries. 

“I will not be taking it easy,” you hiss from behind him, your elbow coming around his throat to secure him into a headlock. It is at that moment that it clicks into place for Woojin who it is that is threatening him and his body goes slack, as if relieved. 

“Y/N,” he laughs. “It looks like our little mouse has finally left her cage! How fun.” 

“I wouldn’t feel so at ease if I were you,” you tell him. “I quite literally have a gun to your head right now.” 

“Right,” he practically coos. “Why should I think that you would actually kill me?” 

With a large swing, you bash the side of the gun into his head. He nearly crumbles in your arms but you hold him up by his throat. He whines in pain. 

“I am sick of people underestimating me,” you spit. “And while I might feel a little bit of remorse for killing Lee Heeseung, I will look back on killing you fondly.” 

He sucks in a breath at that. 

“You didn’t,” he says. 

“I did,” you reply, saccharine sweet. You throw him to the ground so you can have a chance to look down on him one last time. “I do have one thing to thank you for, Woojin. Thanks for helping me to realize how weak I was. If it weren’t for you, there’s no way I would be able to do this.” 

You shoot him. 

The feeling is different. You don’t want to call it satisfying, because that just seems wrong. But you are proud of yourself, in a sick and twisted sense. You have successfully carried out stage 1 of your operation. 

You grab a few things from the bar before you leave. Some supplies, some water. Security is surprisingly lax. It’s almost laughable that ENHA was the sworn enemy of SKZ; maybe things have seriously gone downhill since Jungwon died. Maybe nobody expects someone who looks like you, ‘beaten’ and frail to come in so easily and derail their organization from the inside, but then again, you have been training with SKZ for the past couple of months. 

When you get back to your car, you let out a sigh of relief. What a big weight that has been lifted off of your shoulders. If stage 2 of your operation goes according to plan, then you have just made things very easy for yourself in the future. Lee Heeseung no longer wants to kill you, and ENHA is basically out of the picture, along with Woojin. Unfortunately, that was the easier side of the coin to deal with. 

You’re not exactly sure how to deal with Chan, because you’re just unsure of how a conversation is going to settle things. On the other hand you could stage a coup with the other members but it just doesn’t seem feasible enough to get in contact with all of them without his knowledge.

You also have no idea how to get into the house without alerting him of your presence. 

You end up parking about a mile away. You have plenty of time to think on the walk over but mostly you try to calm your nerves. You find that to be a trend a lot lately. As you approach the house, dawn is starting to encroach, a rude red color plaguing the sky that makes you feel a little uneasy. Moreso, you recognize that something is amiss when you see a motorcycle right in front of the house, tire tracks skidding down the path that leads to the main road. Whoever was on the motorcycle didn’t bother to use the bike stand, instead opting to shove it on its side as if they were in a hurry. 

The front door of the SKZ house is wide open. You’re left with a pit in your stomach that something is horribly, horribly wrong. 

You don’t walk through the front door, instead choosing to walk to the side of the house. You find one of the many windows that allow you to look into Chan’s room, choosing to peek into one of them that is slightly open. Using your strength, you push it open inch by inch so that nobody will hear or notice the difference. When you finally look inside, you realize that you are now listening to a conversation that you shouldn’t be. 

“You don’t understand what you’re talking about. I never took advantage of you,” Chan reasons to someone. “I was simply helping you all along. You never realized what you needed and I helped you. I was there for you and I took care of you. Do you not remember? You were able to accomplish your mission and I was there for you, I stood by your side. I was there for you when your parents died, I gave you a purpose in life and took care of you, and now you are to stand by me and be there for me. It’s what you owe me, and instead you go behind my back and take advantage of me. To me, that seems like absolute betrayal of the highest end, do you not understand?” 

“I am not going behind your back,” says a deep voice that you recognize right away. Felix. He’s here right now. Immediately your heart squeezes, knowing that he must have left right away to go looking for you. He put himself in danger and he could’ve gotten himself killed while you were dealing with Heeseung–you didn’t even think of that possibility. Even moreso, you’re overhearing a conversation that’s insanely vulnerable and personal, and while you want to turn away, you know that you need to give yourself this opportunity to interject if needed and protect him. You stay. “Y/N is not an object, she is not either of ours to fight over, Chris. It’s not fair of you to use our past as a way to manipulate me about this.”

“Do you not understand and appreciate everything that I’ve done for you?” Chan asks. “Everything that I’ve done for everyone here?”

“Of course I do, Chris, but for how long? How long are you going to keep holding that over me? The person who killed my parents is dead. I’ve been over it for a long time. How long are you going to keep stringing me along? Will there ever be an end?” 

You climb in through the window, gun in hands. You think you’re being quiet enough. You close an eye, taking aim, continuing to listen to the conversation. 

“Felix, there was never going to be an end. You know that, right? Surely you were never that dumb.” 

“What?” Felix blinks at him, dumbfounded. 

“Y/N!” Chan calls your name and you nearly trip. You take a step forward, aim unwavering. That’s when you realize that Felix is sitting on the floor, slumped over. He seems to be injured, his hand grasping his side and his breathing unsteady. 

“There has to be an end,” you tell him. Chan looks at you, big eyes blinking and mouth parted in a little ‘o; shape. 

“And you think that will end right now? You’re going to shoot me right here?” 

“Yes,” you tell him. 

Chan looks at you, then at Felix, then at you. “I’m surprised,” he says. “And a little hurt.” 

This makes you falter for just a second, which is all the time he needs to cross the room. He disarms you in a second flat. His arms are around your body, his breath is in your ear. 

“I’ve realized something,” he whispers. “Do you know that I love you?”

Of course, you knew this. Woojin clocked it since the gala, the way he had been acting towards you. And of course, there was the fact that he had asked to take you on a date, the possessive behavior, the fact that he locked you up so that you would fall in love with him eventually instead of Felix. You had predicted this from a mile away, but you didn’t expect for him to admit it so bluntly. Not like this, not as a manipulation tactic when you came here with one goal in mind. 

“You can’t say that, Chan,” you tell him. 

“I do,” he admits. “I love you. I think I’ve loved you since day 1.”

“Is that supposed to make everything right?” you tell him. “You’ve fucked up, Chan. There is absolutely nothing you can do to make things right now. You have hurt me, you have hurt the people that I care about, and you are a violent and manipulative person.” 

“What are you trying to say?” he asks, lowering his voice. 

“I don’t love you back,” you tell him, finality in your voice. “I’m sorry, but I never can.” 

“Is it because you love him instead?” he asks, pointing at Felix. 

“That’s not the only reason,” you say, frustrated. “I don’t know how else to make you understand.”

“But you do,” he points out. “Love him.” 

“I do, but–” 

“That’s all I wanted to hear,” Chan sighs. He pulls out the very same gun that you were going to use against him, putting it in your hands. His own hands clasp over yours, holding on tight. He aims the gun at Felix. 

“Chan, what are you doing? Please, stop!” you cry out, panicked. You squirm against his grasp but his hold on the gun is firm. 

“Felix, do you know why there was never going to be an end to all of this?” Chan asks. Felix shakes his head limply. “Because you never actually killed the man who put the order out against your parents all those years ago. In any sense, neither of our missions are done.” 

“Chris, what are you talking about?” Felix asks with gritted teeth. 

“Do I have to spell it out for you, mate? I put out the order. I killed your parents. I found you, I recruited you, and I helped you to find your purpose here. So your noble mission to avenge your parents that ended years ago never really happened,” Chan explains. Though you don’t really know the full story, you feel sick to your stomach. “I was never going to tell you, but I might as well since I’m going to kill you now myself anyways. It’s a little bittersweet after having you as my right-hand man for all these years, but you do crazy things in the name of love.” 

You feel his hands tighten around the trigger. You jerk slightly at the last moment, screaming as the trigger goes off. You just hope that it was enough to not do any serious damage. You can’t help the sob that escapes your lips. All you wanted was for Felix to stay safe, and after everything his downfall might be your fault. The gun drops to the floor and skids across the floor and you drop to your knees, scurrying to pick it up before you feel a tight grasp around your waist, hoisting you up to your feet. The grasp settles around your throat, holding you tightly from behind. 

“You still want to shoot me that bad, huh?” Chan asks. “Do you think you have it in you?” 

“I don’t know,” you tell him. 

“Have you ever shot someone before?” he asks. 

“No,” you lie. You have nothing to prove to him at the moment. You want to focus on getting out of this chokehold, so you think back to your self-defense training with Changbin and Felix and focus on what your next steps should be. 

You lean your head forward, hoping to get as much momentum as you can for when you swing it backwards to catch it against Chan’s face, hard. You know that your head has connected right with Chan’s nose by the loud cracking sound it makes, and so you waste no time in turning around to knee him right in the groin. 

He seems very caught off guard by your sudden actions. 

Next, you push him backwards as hard as you can, knocking him off of his balance. You’re surprised that you were actually able to do this, given that it was more of a risky move. He doesn’t fall, but he takes a few steps backwards in order to right himself. In the meantime, you pull a long knife out of your hoodie pocket. Specifically, you made sure to grab this as a backup option before you left the ENHA bar. 

With a running start, you lodge the knife into his chest. He grabs your wrist, but you’re quick to remove his hand with your other hand. With both hands, you remove the knife and shove it back in again and again. 

“You can’t half-ass shoving a knife into someone–you have to do it with as much force as you can and into a vital spot. If you’re using a knife to protect yourself, you need to do it with the intent to kill. Best case-scenario, you’ll need to stab them multiple times in order to really do some damage,” Changbin had said. You could really thank him just about now. You had no idea just how much that piece of advice would come in handy.

When you look down at Chan, you’re not expecting him to laugh. Pale in the cheeks and hair already sticking to his face, you know that you’ve won. Still, you’re completely thrown off by his actions. 

“What?” you ask. 

“I really did love you, you know,” he tells you. “Maybe things would have worked out under different circumstances.” 

You really weren’t expecting him to say that. “Oh,” you say. 

“I would’ve just hurt you,” he says. “I’ve only ever hurt people. It’s the only thing I’ve been good at. I just wasn’t expecting for you to be the one to hurt me,” he chuckles. 

“Don’t make me feel worse about this,” you say, looking away. “This was your own doing–the only option you gave us. I don't want to sit here and have you make me feel like maybe all along you were this good person, or that maybe you deserved something better, because you don't. I hope you know that none of us wanted this. It had to end like this.” 

And with one last sputtering cough, Bang Chan closes his eyes and doesn’t open them again. You somehow feel like you have both won and lost at the same time, and you can’t help but feel that that is exactly as he had intended. 

─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──

a/n: aasdhj here it is! i hope nobody was expecting this!! <3 let me know your thoughts and the finale should be out within the next few days.

taglist: @shuporanporang ; @purp13st4r ; @eurydiceofterabithia ; @heartsbyandra ; @thicccurls ;

@rylea08 ; @the-sweetest-rose ; @oddracha ; @kapelover ; @goldenmellow ;

@zerefdragn33l ; @uhh-awkward-rightt ; @astudyoftimeywimeystuff ; @kaleigh-2002 ; @thatonexcgirl ;

@mindfreecreator ; @linoalwaysknows ; @velvetmoonlght ; @minahaeyo ; @crystalchuuu ;

@hash2013 ; @skzswife ; @b0bbl3s ; @thecutiepieme ; @bear8585 ;

@moss-the-man ; @softkisshyunjin ; @sylveonitesworld ; @m00njinnie ; @nicoleparadas ;

@starsofasteria ; @klopez01 ; @luvlinos ; @hyunjinnnnnnnnnnnnnn ; @skz-akira ;

@boi-bi-ahaha ; @l33bang24 ; @hermione640 ; @gal82 ; @b-chansbbygirl ;

@kayleefriedchicken ; @notsojourni ; @hogwartslife64 ; @stilltrynafuckingtumble ; @ellelabelle ;

@melleus ; @hyun-bun ; @luminouskalopsia ; @leftovercigarettes ; @sabrina-gal-kpop

@ghostedgameplays ; @wealwayskeepfighting ; @meloncremesoda ; @Lovelino23 ; @honeyybbuubblleess ;

@blossominghunnie ; @sunlitangel777 ; @kkamismom12 ; @slaykanejvetsi ; @eastleighsblog ;

@skzskzskzskzskzskzskzzzz ; @k-keya ; @moonlight-sunrise-channie ; @estella-novella ;

@mbioooo0000 ; @lovemepie67 ; @lemonn015 ; @jaeminie-cricket ; @cookiesandcreammy ;

@jchotch726 ; @cookielixie ; @xxeiraxx ; @chuuyaobsessed ; @anime-addictot8 ;

@raspberrii ; @holdontoitwhileitlasts ; @korthbum ; @nxtt2-u ; @drinkingrumandcocacola ;

@changbokkii ; @1810cl ; @sillyhal ; @abcdefgiwsmctyeliaitaiglykoh ; @justastraymoa

[chaos-in-deepspace]

LNDs: Romance/General Headcanons

Yoooooo so here's some headcanons I have for all the boys in Love and Deepspace! I say headcanons but some of this stuff is just straight up canon. This is mainly to help me figure out how I want to write each boy as well, think of it like a warm-up.

Disclaimer: This is an original fan work for “Love and Deepspace”. Do not repost on other platforms or plagiarize. All characters shown in this fic is 18+. Warnings: None

Blog Information | Masterlist

Xavier

General Headcanons

Xavier is the kind of guy who will 100% own some of the softest blankets known to man. He has an entire cupboard in his apartment just filled to the brim with them, as well as soft pillows.

His phone is almost exclusively on "Do Not Disturb". He has it so emergency contacts can still text and call him and he'll get a notifications. You are the only emergency contact.

If someone near him yawns, he has to. It's one of those things he can't help. Xavier is also the type who will get a bit teary eyed when he yawns.

Xavier knows how to do a lot of things, almost like a Jack of all Trades. The issue is that he doesn't tell anyone he knows how to do things so he doesn't get roped into it. He'll normally play dumb around others if they are asking him to do so.

He can have full on conversations in his sleep. He won't recall anything that happens, and his eyes will be closed, but you can talk to him and he'll have responses. It's honestly kind of entertaining to ask him for things when he's asleep since he always will tell you yes.

Romance Headcanons

Xavier is an amazing cuddle buddy. He's normally pretty warm and his sweaters are always super soft like his blankets. He doesn't mind being the little or big spoon, and once you settle on a position he won't budge from it.

Xavier likes to hold hands with you whenever you guys are out walking together. However, his favorite is just hooking his pinkie with your own while making your way around town.

He's jealous and he's not subtle about it either. He'll glare at anyone who tries taking up your time and attempt to whisk you away at a moment's notice.

To add to the jealousy, he's also overprotective. If you so much as get a scrape while he's around, he's wanting to get you checked into the hospital. If only he could care about his own health as much as he cares for your own.

He's a fan of literally taking your breath away with his kisses. He always starts off with soft, almost shy kisses that then escalate to the point where you have to pry him off your mouth so you can breath again.

Zayne

General Headcanons

Zayne's coffee in the morning is normally filled almost halfway with flavored creamers. He has at least two flavors sitting in his fridge at all times, and whenever a new one comes out he'll snag it.

He's mastered the art of powernaps. He can be sitting on his computer at work and rest his cheek on his fist and pass out for about five to ten minutes if he knows he needs to quickly sleep. He's also pretty good at waking up a few minutes before his alarm goes off on days that he's not exhausted.

He's horrible when it comes to throwing away small candy wrappers while he's working. Normally they end up piling up on his desk when he's in the zone and he doesn't notice until he finished and sees they're scattered everywhere.

He bites the ends of his pen when he's working. He'll only do it if he owns it, but sometimes if he borrows a pen he notices it creeping up to his mouth and has to stop himself. Any old hoodies he owns, especially those from when he went to university, has bitten up strings.

There has been numerous times where it has been in the early hours of the morning and he hasn't slept at all. Still doing paperwork in his office and he can't find his glasses. He just can't seem to notice them anywhere and he knows he just had them. They're on top of his head. If you happen to see him looking around confused, just point at the top of your own head and he'll figure it out. He'll also figure out that he should probably go to bed at that point.

Romance Headcanons

Zayne is a sap when it comes to you. He has a photo of you and him as his phone background, as well as a different one for his laptop background. It's not like you often see his phone, but if you happen to glance he'll quickly lock it before you notice.

He also has a special ring tone for you, but that's not all. If his phone is set to vibrate, he has a custom made vibration for his phone that'll go off for both text messages and calls. That way he always knows if it's you.

At the start of your relationship he doesn't like any form of PDA other than holding your hand. He thinks those moments shared between the two of you is just that...between the two of you. However, as time passes on he'll slowly get a bit more bold in public places.

Despite being dominant in the relationship, he does let you take control of most situations at first. He doesn't like to be suffocating and believes you can make your own decisions. That is until your decisions become horrible decisions and he has to step and steer you into the right direction. Half the time he gets roped into it though. He is absolutely whipped.

He is whipped. You could probably suggest the two of you rob a bank together and he would seriously debate it. He is the voice of reason at the end of the day, but sometimes you make him question things, especially when you look at him with those puppy eyes.

Rafayel

General Headcanons

When Rafayel wakes up before noon, he is not coherent in the slightest for those first ten minutes. If anything you could consider him useless in the morning. He'll normally lay in bed until he's more awake, but if he gets up it's a train wreck. He'll be bumping into everything, not comprehend human speech, among other things.

He has had conversations with random sea creatures before. Once he went to the aquarium and just sat by the sting rays while chatting. They never replied, but he did manage to carry on the conversation well enough.

He will text you for the most random things known to man. Sometimes he uses you like a search engine instead of just looking it up. He'll also text you to come over because he left a glass of water in the kitchen and he's now in his studio. Thomas used to get these texts all the time and eventually he learned not to play along.

Rafayel is polyjamorous. His taste in music tends to vary a lot when he's working on a new painting. Sometimes it's to help him find inspiration, sometimes he just wants something to vibe to. On occasion he has a single song that he'll listen to on repeat until he manages to block it out. On other days he doesn't listen to any music, preferring the ambiance of the ocean with a window open.

He tends to video call more than normal phone calls. He likes to see the expressions of whoever he's speaking with so he knows how they're actually reacting to what he's saying. It also helps him know when someone is listening to him or just pretending and giving generalized responses.

Romance Headcanons

He has a secret sketchbook that he keeps. A lot of them are just random drawings of you or places the two of you have been together. He's not ashamed of it, he just doesn't know how you'd react to seeing a picture drawn of you half asleep, hanging off the sofa with drool on your face.

He's really inexperienced in relationships, at least in this life he is. He could go off the past with you, but that would be moving too fast. So he sometimes has these awkward moments of wanting to do so much more with you but knowing it's far too early in the relationship.

He is always wanting to all over you. It's to the extent that sometimes you have to pry him off so you can go to the restroom. His favorite position is with his arm around your waist and his head in your shoulder.

He will whine about you not spending enough time with him...while you're spending time with him. If he doesn't have you with him 24/7 then you aren't giving him enough attention. He does let you live a life, he just wishes he could be experiencing it all with you.

When he isn't being a total brat, he is super sweet. He will kiss your hands the moment they get near him, shower you in compliments, and if you so much as mention wanting something he'll have it for you within a day.

[photomatt]

Hey, genuine question, although I'm not honestly expecting a response: if tumblr users have been telling you what they want and what they don't want since you've taken over, and their feedback has more or less been ignored consistently whilst rolling out changes that nobody asked for or uses (tumblr live is coming to mind), and you're not getting the content use you want, might it be an idea to try those before abandoning the site? What is the worst that could happen, really? Listen to your userbase. You had a lot of good will from listening to people at the start of your ownership: blaze did well, as did ad-free, polls and so on, but there are some really popular things you've removed or made obsolete (prev tags, blog themes, avatars etc.) that a lot of people want back. Equally, there are some things I've never heard a single person want - this site isn't TikTok, and never will be. Instead of trying attract a crowd that is already catered for elsewhere, making the people who love tumblr still despite all the changes in ownership more comfortable under you can only be a benefit. Thank you for reading, if you did actually read this.

Thank you for the genuine question! First, I'll say that we've never launched anything with the expectation the community would hate it, but there sometimes is a big difference between what people say they want and how people respond or what information (and often misinformation) goes viral.

As an example, Post+, which is a feature where you can pay to subscribe to other users, had some misinformation go viral that if you used it you'd be sued by copyright holders if you did fan fiction, and there was a huge backlash that the site was going paid and a coordinated campaign to attack (including with death threats) everyone who signed up for the program.

I'll repeat, this was a program where the money all went to creators, Tumblr did not take a cut, and the creators were often already selling work on Patreon or Ko-fi, this just was an integrated way for it to work. Because of the hate and attacks, every launch creator canceled the program. It was sad, because this was a feature users and creators said they wanted, and we prioritized making users money over projects that would make us money.

Since then we've gotten better at managing attacks and threats, with new tools and a bigger Trust & Safety team, but Post+ never recovered.

You mention Blaze and Ad-free doing well, but their adoption is so small relative to the use of Tumblr their revenue couldn't support a fraction of the ~1,000 servers it takes to run Tumblr, much less any salaries.

To your broader point, though, one thing I'm hoping with a more focused approach in 2024 is that we can streamline some of the extra things that were launched (like Live) that haven't gotten the adoption we hoped, and focus in on the core functionality that people use a ton of on Tumblr. We will likely be shipping less new stuff and more focused on improving existing functionality and core flows.

[zzencat]

Why Am I So Hard On Myself? - Timeless ⏳

Breathe and choose. Left to right.

Kinda doing this one on a whim but figured it could help anyone who needs to be heard and have their doubts or feelings validated. You’re not alone. Does it say anything else about you?

TO ENHANCE ACCURACY BEFORE CHOOSING: Clear your mind. Time is now patient and still. Close your eyes, inhale deeply, fill your chest up to the fullest, feel the soft air brush up against the ridges of your nose. Breathe out.

———————————————-

Pile 1 | “no matter how hard i try…”

somehow, something always goes wrong. you always try to salvage what you can, picking up the pieces and trying to make the most of the situation, but maybe the timing is shit, or it isn’t met up to standard. plans ruined, connections gone, opportunities lost. even when all you do is try and try. you might even think “why is this even happening? im only breathing”

small note: while shuffling, it was going pretty nicely then cards started flying out of my hands like fliers on a windy day. it’s a small thing, but to me, it has to do with having constant roadblocks and inconveniences, and that maybe you feel like you’re at your last straw sometimes

you want to be seen for your efforts. at least some acknowledgment that someone knows, sees, and understands that you’re trying. someone to hear you out for once and take you seriously, even if none of what you’d done or contributed has worked before. just acknowledgment would be enough. maybe you’re the only one who recognizes your efforts.

i think you struggle with maintaining career, friendships, or really anything, in general. the foundations laid out might’ve been risky or unstable to begin with so you could question why things don’t last for you. a part of you expects the heartbreak to happen.

it’s crazy bc in this pile, there’s so much…optimism and hope (that might be dying out or feels like it has already) that one day something will work out

your heart isn’t completely closed and you’ll still have it open to accept things, even when you think it shouldn’t. this is what makes you a stronger person. it opens a wide range of doors for you, whether you know it or not. don’t give up.

———————————————————————————————————————

Pile 2 | “look out!”

you’re so used to prioritizing others and putting yourself last. bc of this, you could’ve missed out on many things and lost opportunities

you have a big heart and hella good energy — an abundance of it — but for some reason, it’s rarely spent on yourself

you feel like it’s your responsibility, all of it — to run or lead things, as if it’s all in your hands. to take over when things are about to fall apart. who made it your responsibility to carry the burdens of others? what happens then if they don’t reciprocate or return the same generosity?

all of this energy is being redirected to the wrong places when you should be thinking about yourself too. how can you help others when you can’t even help yourself? how about your own dreams and goals? you’re human too, so you need the care and support as well. your energy doesn’t just grow on trees. put yourself high on your own list. make yourself a priority for once. book a spa day and have someone else take over for the day.

——————————————————————————————————-

Pile 3 | *whistling*

for this pile, it seems to be more family related, where your pursuits, outlooks, or the way you treat yourself is how you were treated growing up. there’s some connection to pile 2 as well, so there could be some messages in pile 2 for you if it caught your eye

parent(s)/caretakers put a lot of pressure on you with crazy expectations or nitpicking, sometimes maybe even emotional manipulation like guilt tripping

there’s a need to take more charge in your life, especially in the creative and emotional corners of it, and also to create more meaningful and deep connections

some people in this pile might be easily defensive as well too. in this lifetime, you’re gonna learn to put your guard down, bc perhaps you’d grown up feeling trapped and forced into a mold you didn’t belong in

you could struggle with emotional commitment or generally sticking to one thing. there are probably too many things you wanna do or end up trying at least once. relationships might not last too long. there could even be a subconscious fear that you won’t be able to meet someone else’s emotional needs or standards.

you’re very spontaneous and prob get bored easily. also prob struggled academically (ex: having a hard time understand in subjects, sticking to one thing/constantly changing interests or majors, feeling trapped, giving up)

you’re lowkey a perfectionist. perhaps you’re never satisfied bc you grew up with that kind of dissatisfaction on yourself, likely by adults or maybe just things you’d picked up from adolescence

at some point, you might reflect back and feel disappointed in yourself, even if you’d just had the time of your life. it seems like this pile indulges in more superficial activities/substances to fill in the void in that chest

—————————————————————————

ending teddy note: hey guys! been a while but here’s a pac for ya!! i think this is a great pac if you don’t have someone to acknowledge the potential issues going on in your life. thank you for taking the time to read this and i really hope you enjoy it! rmr to take what resonates and leave what doesn’t. ciao!! :P

i would appreciate the feedback! lemme know what you got or think in the comments or reblogs 🦾

- The Tedster

[erwinsvow]

𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐚 𝐛𝐢𝐭 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐛𝐮𝐫𝐛𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐠𝐨 𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐳𝐲

summary: you're obedient to rafe, and he's starting to realize how much he likes that.

word count: 1.2k

now spinning: cruel world by lana del rey

author's note/warning: rafe does things to you with his gun. this might be dark!rafe which is just.. rafe <3

Rafe gets a thrill when you’re obedient to him without him having to do or say anything at all.

It starts off small. Holding onto your wrist for a second too long. When he does that, you turn around to look at him. Then it becomes a habit, looking back at him for permission to walk away, to leave. He presses a kiss to the top of your head before he lets you go. It’s been so long, so many months and so many kisses, you worry he’s upset with you if you don’t receive it.

He’s conditioned you, in his own little way. Everyone notices it. His father tells him to treat a nice girl like you better. His friends laugh about it when you’re not there. He used to laugh too, but now he doesn’t, and he gives anyone who still mentions it a glare. 

Because this is his new high, and he doesn’t have to chase it, doesn’t have to pay for it. You’re devoted to him, and it’s getting worse and worse. He begins to wonder how far you’ll go, how much you’ll stretch the boundaries of right and wrong for him. 

He’d promised to leave you out of it, out of everything that’s going on, but his own curiosity got the best of him.

You’re lying in his bed, half-asleep and completely fucked out the first time he asks you. Sometimes he’s a totally different person with you, soft and gentle, and sometimes he’s more like himself. 

“If someone wanted to hurt me,” he starts, chin resting on the top of your head and hand tucked safely with yours, “what would you do?” 

“Hm?” you moan sleepily against his chest. You’re out of it, he knows because he’s the reason why, but he really wants an answer. Rafe gives your cheek a little slap, demeaning, the way he knows you like. Your eyes jump open.

“You heard me, kid. What would you do?”

“I-” you start, and then stop. You’re thinking about what to say. He doesn’t interrupt, because he knows you're using your little brain to figure out what answer he wants to hear. 

“Hm?” he repeats, mocking. You don’t notice.

“I would do whatever it took to make sure you were okay,” you say, pressing your hand flat against his chest, right over his heart. 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

The next time is a few months later. You’re still clueless, maybe a little less than before, but if you know something, you don’t admit it. He’s been testy with you, he knows, but you’re relentless in your mission to make sure the two of you are okay—that he’s still okay.

He’s pacing in his bedroom, running a hand over his buzzed hair, while you sit on his bed with your legs hanging off, watching silently. If you’re thinking anything, you don’t say it. His gun rests against his back, tucked into the waistband.

For a second his shirt lifts, and you stare at the black metal with big eyes. He catches you looking and you shift your gaze in a second, without him saying a word. So obedient, even when you’re scared.

“Rafey?” you ask quietly. “What’s going on?” He turns in an instant, squatting down before your legs, hands gripping your knees.

“What’s going on? What’s going on is that it’s happening. Remember when I asked you what you’d do if someone tried to hurt me? Remember?” and you nod fervently. “Well it’s happening now, kid.”

“Someone’s trying to hurt you?”

“Everyone’s trying to hurt me.”

“Not me, Rafe, not me,” and you sit up straighter, pressing your hands against his arms and holding on tightly. “I would never hurt you.”

“I know that, baby, I know. But I have to protect you, protect us both.” You know how Rafe gets sometimes. He worries too much, you’ve finally decided upon, that was it. The reason he was like this, he just worried too much, about protecting you and doing right by his family, his father. He had too much going on, too much responsibility for one person. That was your way of justifying everything. Your boyfriend didn’t do anything wrong, he never did.

“You will. I know you will, you always do, you always protect me.” There’s your obedience again, clicking in and telling him everything he wants to hear. The best part is that he knows you mean it. 

“That’s right, kid. I do.” He takes the gun from behind his shirt, brandishing it before you. If you’re scared, you don’t react at all. You look at him with your big, wet eyes and your thudding heart like you’d do anything if he asked. Pick up the gun and shoot someone yourself if he wanted. It makes his dick hard just thinking about it. “I have to use this, sometimes, to do it. To make sure no one can hurt you. That’s just how it is.” 

You move gingerly, clasping your hand around his and the gun, eyes locked on his own the whole time.

“I know. I know you’re doing it for the right reasons.” The two of you stay silent like that for another few moments, before your quiet voice fills the space again. “Rafe, no matter what you did, I would never blame you.” Your head shakes a little like you don’t understand what you’re saying. “I would never leave you. I would never hurt you.”

“I have to use it, baby, I don’t have a choice. Y’know these people, they don’t listen, no one, you have to show them you’re serious, and this, this is how serious I am.”

“I know,” you repeat, eyes fluttering between the gun and Rafe, back and forth. 

You’re looking at him like this because you like how he’s talking. The serious, scary way he means every word he’s saying, that he would kill to protect you, hurt someone else to make sure you’re okay. It doesn’t make you scared, it makes you fall deeper in love. Someone willing to risk everything for you. You want to prove that you would do anything for him too.

“I knew you’d understand,” he says, eyes fixed on the way you’re running your tongue over your lips, biting the button while you stare at his fingers wrapped around the grip. 

He’s a little surprised, but still, not quite fazed, when you end up squirming in his arms not even ten minutes later. Your skirt pulled up and panties kicked aside, your pretty new shirt ripped down the middle to free your tits in the easiest way possible. 

Rafe has one hand squeezing your tits and the other balancing the gun, holding it in place while he fucks it in and out of your cunt. He knew you were obedient, but even this is beyond his imagination. When you finally come, the wetness from your cunt shining on the black of his handpiece, he makes a show of licking it off. 

You’re his now in every way, even if you ever change your mind. You know you won’t.