#just. god i can’t put it into words
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“i don’t want you to catch feelings, i don’t want you to get hurt” says guy (deeply afraid of commitment) that i’ve been crushing on for over a month
i told him that was a risk i was willing to take... i did not tell him it was already too late 🙃
#listen. listen. i’d rather just be… whatever we are#than not get to be with him at all#even if it’ll hurt more in the end#(tho. maybe it’s wishful thinking… but i’m hoping i can convince him to give us a chance 💀)#(he’s just afraid of being hurt again. and afraid of how his family would react)#he doesn’t want to risk being hurt but i don’t wanna regret not taking a chance yknow#i’d rather try something and have it hurt me than not try at all#i think ‘what if’ would be far more painful than whatever is gonna actually happen#or maybe i just like him enough that i’ll take what i can get :’)#it already kinda hurts. but he’s worth it i think#just. god i can’t put it into words#he says he doesn’t care about other people enough to be in a relationship but that’s SUCH bullshit#i was out for less than an hour the other night like 3 minutes away from my house & i forgot my phone at home#and immediately he goes ‘what if there was an emergency and you needed to call 911??? you should be careful not to forget it again’#and he’s so protective okay#anything that could be even the slightest bit of danger to me and he’ll physically move me away from it#and fuck he was so nervous about being at my place and what will my parents think#it makes me so fucking sad#like no we’re *safe* here#fuck i just want him to be happy yknow#he broke down a bit when we were cuddling… not used to affection#how am i supposed to resist that????#ffs just let me care about you???#god it hurt to see that though… if i didn’t already have feelings for him it’d be impossible not to now#like i’m sorry but if just being held is enough to bring you to tears clearly you need someone to hold u okay#‘you act like you never want to let go of me’ YEAH CUZ I DONT#fuck idk i’m just rambling. i miss him the second we part ways#i wish he could’ve stayed the night :’)#jx.txt
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Angel: *gazing lovingly at Husk* He could kill me, and I'd thank him.
Cherri: *who has heard this for the millionth time* I'd thank him too
#Angel: 😍…😏…😒…😑#Cherri is 1000% done with their pining bullshit#husk: *who has heard every word because they are LITERALLY SITTING AT THE BAR* : …but do you love me?#Angel: *bluescreens*#Cherri: For the love of SAtAN JUST f*** already!!!#(they’re already dating they just like to mess with people)#but as usual Angel flirts relentlessly until someone honestly reciprocates and then he just 😳 PANIK#Angel is a dumbass#but husk loves him anyway#Angel dust#husk#cherri bomb#huskerdust#hazbin angel dust#hazbin husk#hazbin cherri bomb#angel/husk#they’re in love your honor#but Cherri *is* aboutt three seconds from locking them in a closet together#Angel: you can’t put me back in the closet again! for fuck’s sake I came out seventy years ago!#angel dust needs a hug#consensually and preferably from husk#loser baby#Hazbin hotel#incorrect hazbin hotel#angel hazbin hotel#husk hazbin hotel#husk/angel#husk: oh god he’s an idiot#husk: *falls absolutely head over heels for this pink spider*
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Evan kelmp man that you are ……………..
#the psychosis metaphor. the guard dog nature. it’s not a wound it’s just healed badly. i realize this thing is just here to hurt people and#I think man I know that song and I keep kicking. telling stories that are normal to you to get a worried looks and ppl asking if you’re okay#literally brennans explanation of how evan felt fighting that salamander was so.#this character was created in a lab to make me specifically crazy. and boy oh boy is it working !#I can’t get over aabria referring to his arm as ‘not a wound just healed badly’ and that the only way to fix it is to break it again and k#being so convinced they can help it’s so. I can’t put into words buts it’s so. that’s their whole everything.#evan isn’t broken he’s just healed wrong and people around him can’t or won’t accept that. and it’s coming from a good place (sometimes)#but it has the same effect in the long run which is the reinforcement that he is wrong and bad and needs to change but he CANT bc he HAS#healed. he isn’t carrying around an open wound he has worked on that but that shit never goes away. it’s there forever and it looks wrong an#scary to people and it probably always will but it works#he said it’s different metrics of success I kept the arm and then k tries to fix and he loses the arm. do you understand me.#do you you see. can anyone fucking hear me.#it’s about being so scary to the people you love that your success is still cause for concern and they don’t understand that you’re doing#better !! you are doing good !! I’m not sad anymore he said and it’s. oh god.#anyway mismag makes me feel ill if I think about it too long so I have to stop now#prsnl#mismag#🐦⬛
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Finally got around drawing Aioros :D
#saint seiya#saint seiya fanart#los caballeros del zodiaco#sagittarius aiolos#I remember reading somewhere (either a post or some wiki page idk) how aioros is often revered as the perfect saint an almost divine figure#and I’m pretty sure aioros initially refutes being the next pope saying saga would be a better fit (it’s 4am so correct me if I’m wrong)#anyway I watched some of kotz for fun and saw that scene. he seemed rather upset at the news but a sense of distress I can’t really describ#even when keeping in mind that he was only 14 I don’t think it was the responsibility that comes with being a gold saint/pope successor#but more combining the first bit of being highly viewed. he seems like a rather humble guy who’s rather content with risking his life#or has at least excepted that fact. but when seem as more than a simple soldier it makes him uneasy. because he knows he’s not a god#yet is put in such position that when adding his sacrifice at an early age he’s practically legend. and despite the initial denial he will#always be obedient enough to accept the duty placed upon him. this is all to simply say I tried drawing him smiling but it didn’t look righ#so ye. (feel bad for just leaving the thought process to the sketch in the tags but it’s not my best wording so it stays down here)#a smol trivia nugget: I still don’t know how I want to draw aioros :p actually better trivia nugget: the pose/composition is from a photo m#they saw I had taken a photo but my angle was rather bland so they decided to absolutely blow me away with one heck of a photo#theres even nice lighting and everything. real glad I finally used the reference as reference :]
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tommy saying ‘so that was ok?’ sooo so soft and gentle my whole body hurts. bucks first queer love and he’s already so taken care of i can’t stop crying
#god !!!!!!#god!!!!!#i can’t put it in to words but#fuck my first queer i don’t even think u could call relationship was just#well anyway#i just love this so much it’s so precious to me#911 spoilers
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AND ANOTHER THING. saying that the latinos who voted for trump aren’t “real latinos” overlooks the fact that a lot of latinos (ESPECIALLY 2nd gen and immigrants. undocumented or not) are conservative.
this doesn’t make them less latino. being latino does not mean being progressive, or liberal, or socialist or etc. it just means you’re from latinamerica.
denying them their identity doesn’t make them exempt from anything. it just ignores the issues in our community of colorism, classism, queerphobia, and xenophobia. just because you’re latino (just because you’re not white) does not mean you’re not complicit. it doesn’t absolve you of anything.
#emyrs.txt#a bunch of ppl helped me put this into words btw.#been feeling it since 2016 but it all boiled over right this second i guess. lol.#drives me fucking crazy like.#at least acknowledge the issues that the community in the u.s. has!!! u can’t just go. man those guys aren’t even apart of this 🤣 a REAL#latino would never—#YES THEY WOULD!!!! YES THEH FUCKING WOULD!!! THEY DID!!!!! we are not a monolith!!!#refusing to acknowledge it doesn’t help anyone!!!!!!!! it just absolves YOU of guilt!!!!!#sorry everyone expect more of these i am spiraling.#and also like. i’m so fucking disappointed and embarrassed. how badly must you hate yourself. hate your fucking family. your MOTHER.#your SISTERS. how out of touch must you be from reality. to put the economy over everything else.#ignorando el sufrimiento y sacrificio de tu familia!!!!!!#no teniendo nada de compasión por tus hermanes que están pasando por lo mismo o peor!!!!!!!#i thank god daily *** won’t be there at thanksgiving or christmas bc i’m about to start fights only god could pull me out of.
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about to be sooo nosy so. my apologies. but. morgan frost? girlfriend? do share (or don’t! again this is so nosy i’m sorry)
for legal purposes i can neither confirm nor deny anything about morgan and his girlfriend but afaik i think he’s single right now? at one point (within the past four years 😭) he did for sure have a girlfriend and that is the extent of my wag knowledge
#anon PLEASE i am the nosiest person in the world i understand i want to know everything. ever. however#because i have no evidence and don’t want to spread unfounded rumors i will state for the jury i am not a gossip blog#& anything i say should be taken with a grain of salt. or a vsco deep dive & also maybe a dig into the flyers media archives. wrt UNfounded#but i will gossip in your dms because it’s a vital method of communication and important for community building.#also i’m like 95% sure i just osmosed the fact that morgan and his girlfriend broke up sometime earlier in the hockey season from someone#else (probably flyerskay) and accepted it at face value like absolutely i’d trust kay with my life. she would never lie to me and therefore#i can’t be lying to you. i can’t remember morgan’s gf’s name tho but i can like. vividly remember her artsy possessive vsco photos 😭 help#that man posts more about tom petty than he does anyone else in his life besides joel so really how would we know if hes posted her less#the answer is we wouldn’t and i want to say her name is katie SO bad but i know that’s tyson’s gf it’s like. victoria or stacie or somethin#& i want to see if SHE deleted all her vsco pictures of him bc that’s how we’d know they broke up. frosty stop following so many girls#i want to try and find her and see (she’s a model and she was public and had her vsco linked so all of this is public info btw.)#ANON I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND YOU HAVE NO IDEA OANDJRIWNDHOWHDB IT IS 1:38 AM AND I HAVE JUST MANAGED. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD ANON HOLD ON#BUCKLE YOURSELF THE FUCK IN FOR AN ANSWER YOU DID NOT ASK FOR BECAUSE THIS IS A R I D E AND I NEED TO YELL ABOUT IT I CAN’T MY GOD I CANNOT#B R E A T H E i’m about to start crying again but the backstory is that. i have had a fic that i have been working on for literal years.#my version history says March 15 2021 and it started in my notes app about 3000 words before that and it’s based off of a tweet i thought#calla had quoted and just said ‘Joel’ about but in my notes i never#saved the actual tweet and many times throughout the years i have gone back and advanced searched every version of joel and joelle and bee#and behavior on calla’s blog that i could possibly think of and just assumed like. it must’ve gotten deleted or the account suspended and i#could never remember the wording well enough to just google it but believe me i tried and put in every variation. never found it in 4 years#i try periodically. fast forward to about twenty minutes ago i am looking through kay’s twitter and searching vsco because i SWEAR she has#the picture of frosty’s gf’s fingernail marks in the back of frosty’s shoulders i am talking about / I can’t find her vsco linked anywhere#but i’m like ok. search up a couple other things and think about who might have it and on a WHIM look up vsco in ash notthequiettype’s acct#no results okay whatever i think about what else could maybe pull it up for me so I have SOMETHING for you. I search frosty. I scroll. GUES#WHAT I FUCKING FIND FROM NOVEMBER 13TH 2020 it is THE FANTASTIC TWEET THAT SPAWNED 16K OF NOTES & FIC & A SPREADSHEET OF JOEL’S CLASSES#AND I NEVER WOULD’VE FOUND IT AGAIN IF NOT FOR THIS!!! LOSING IT!!! by it I mean my mind and my sleep schedule!!! it’s 2AM now good night!!#liv in the replies#morgan frost#philadephia flyers
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Happily scrolling through SC tags and I see toon Catnap getting characterized as a pervert who hates his friends and is a creep to Dogday and I start frothing at the mouth and violently pulling all my hair out in insurmountable rage
#berryboxed#proxy rambles#I’m all of varied interpretations of a character (I’m a soft Moon believer for gods sakes)#but this specifically makes me so angry I can’t properly put it into words#HE’S A SILLY LITTLE GOOFY GUY WHO LOVES HIS FRIENDS AND LIKE TO SLEEP#SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP#TOON AND BBI ARE NOT THE SAME#AND EVEN IF THEY WERE GAME CATNAP ISNT LIKE THAT EITHER?????#I WILL PELT YOUR WINDOW WITH ROCKS#for legal reasons that is mostly a joke#(< gathering rocks)#is this the fabled mischaracterization activated autism kill switch I’ve heard so much about#probably#aaaanyways sowwy for the rant teehee I’m just joking around 😊😊😊#(lying through my teeth)
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several days and 15 thousand words later, i am relieved to report that the suffocating urge to Write Something has been sated and no longer has me in a chokehold
#Seven.txt#writing stuff#thinking of that post that’s like ‘u Have To make art or all the ideas stay stuck in ur brain and make u sick’ bc yeah thats been the vibe#wish i wasn’t so all or nothing about it tho. but alas. i’m that way with everything in my life#i either expect 10k in a day from myself or i don’t write at all for weeks. or months :)#and my average pace is about 500 words per hour. so u can see. how that might be a problem. given how many hours are in a day.#and that’s obviously not sustainable. but idk if it’s adhd or what but it’s So hard to quickly start and stop tasks just Whenever#i struggle to be one of those ppl that can consistently write like. 500 words a day every day and then wow! soon you have a whole novel#nah. once i get myself in the Zone then i’m Goin’ and i can’t stop until i’m Done or i collapse from ignoring my body’s needs lmao#it’s something i should make an effort to do though bc i’d love to be consistently chipping away at things instead of working in bursts#anyways this is a lotta negative self-commentary for what is actually a Positive post! bc yay!! i wrote a thing!! Two things actually!!! 🎉#i got the follow-up to last year’s Matt oneshot done And i wrote the next chapter of Heaven in Hiding after uh. a year and some months#i wanted to blow the dust off the ol’ keyboard by starting with writing some less. uh. high-stakes(?) stuff#not that i didn’t put my all into writing them. i always do. just that ik they’ll have less of an audience so ill cringe less if they suck#so then i can hopefully do justice to the [N]MbD stuff that i’ll be putting out next! ehehe *rubbing my hands together* Finally#the next two [N]MbD fics r already written but the first little one needs a final edit#and then the Big one for. uh. someone (u kno who u r) needs a bit of rewriting i think. i wanna make it Better#so release schedule will be 1. Matt • 2. HiH Ch.3 • 3. [N]MbD small fic • 4. [N]MbD Big fic#then i’m gonna write a lil Boothill comfort oneshot. then i’ll edit/maybe rewrite and post that Dew (Ghost) OCD comfort oneshot#i also wanna keep writing the last couple chapters of HiH before i unintentionally abandon it again#and after/amidst all that maybe i’ll manage to get ES Ch.6 written and posted before the end of the year 😭#anyways ik i’ve made posts like this before. talking abt all these Plans of mine. and most of those things r Still stuck in the pipeline#so don’t put too much stock into this plan. i could have another Bad couple of months and get None of it done#but god i sure fucking hope not. i’d really like to cling to my creativity. if for no other reason than that it makes me happy
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PLEASE PLEASE GO WATCH REGRET RIGHT NOW I’M SO SERIOUS.
youtube
#god. it’s so freaking good I’m GRAGHHGHH#I LITERALLY can’t put words to how amazing I think this is#I’m just shocked into silence tbh#qsmp#cellbit#Youtube
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it’s 3am I’m extremely dehydrated and ate poorly but I m having severe autism symptoms and cannot keep this to myself or I’ll die . I need you to understand that I am irrevocably haunted by these two quirked up artsy male actors and the entire epidemic of quirked up artsy male actors who are all about making real weird slutty art in the name of true cinema and being a slut and also being silly. They’re like an invasive species. I need to smash them with mallets. I need you to just know that. . Thank you
#this doesn’t mean anything please leave me alone I’m sorry#I just had to get it out of my head or I would never be able to sleep#cal.txt#meow meow posting#leigh whannell#alexander calvert#special interest is specially interesting today ..#category 7 autism event#I am putting . them in a. blunder blender#if they met I think it would kill god personally#actor men can never be normal. they’re either painfully normal and talentless and kept afloat by their faces#or they’re these guys.#.god . .#I don’t even know how to explain it or put it into words I can’t I just don’t . I can’t.#grips your shoulders tight and sinks my teeth into your arteries so you don’t remember this bc I’m embarrassed#Alexander ‘cinema should be slutty and filthy and grimy again’ Twitter post repost calvert.#okay then! be a slut. I support you girl inlvoe u#I’m so stiredp sorry#spn#sawposting
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hozierr!!
YEAHH!! lesgo
#aughhh icarian…#this one is like. The one from unreal unearth to me just cause of how much you talk about it CACKLES#ouh interesting but at the start#so far this is about what i expected cackles cackles#and though i burn how could i fall when i am lifted by every word you say to me…..#its very slow and quiet ough#its like. a breeze through branches#waghhhh it’s so so pretty weeping wailing#it’s like making me feel things dude i dunno why (positive)#i do not have wings love i never will!!!!!!!!#god this is like. ethereal#this would play over some fucking crushing scene in a film i think /silly /pos#god shortest three minutes of my life????? it went by so fast wagh#overall definitely very much a banger ough#not something i’d listen to regularly i think but i did really like it cackles. very much what i expected#EAT YOUR YOUNG!!!!! hell yeah dude#i didn’t know eat your young was in this album that’s fascinating#i fuckin love eat your young so much dude top hozier song to me it’s been on my playlist so long#IM STARVIN!! DARLIN!! LET ME PUT MY LIPS TO SOMETHING!!!!!#i dunno it just scratches my brain in some kinda way it bangs it really does#so so rad#especially the chorus i just love how he sings the chorus cackles#and oughhh the music dude#you can’t buy this!! fineness!!#god when he fuckin draws out the “honey i” god#also just like such an interesting song i think#anyway. yeag. eat your young ftw always#answering asks#chair asks#chair!!
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Best 4 hours of my life, with the loml ♡
#googie 🐰#i know i always say this but i can never really explain the way i feel about him </3 it’s so hard to put into words#i feel so complete now god i love him so much 🥺!! even that is an understatement 😔#i think it was like? 10:30 pm when i saw the weverse notif... and now it’s past 3 am jdghbcbn#i felt so many emotions throughout everything (the wv live; the ig live; and then wv live again) but god.#i’m just way too happy that i got to see him again 🥺; i missed him a lot!#crazy how just yesterday afternoon i teared up watching a reel on ig about missing him </3 and then 6 hours later!!! he shows up 💖#lol and i had so many mini breakdowns bc of him 😭 he’s a flirt FLIRT huh 😔✋🏼! WHAT ABOUT MY WEAK LITTLE HEART SIR???#i really have no defence when it comes to jk </33... sigh. but he sang sooooo many songs 🥰🥰#including txt! svt! nwjns! i’m one happy bitch 🤩☝🏼#what a great day to be alive honestly! just hope that he gets some rest bc goddamn it’s nearly 7 am at sk now 💀#oh and!!!! WE GOT TO SEE BAM MY BABY AFTER SO LONG IM SQUEALING THEY ARE SO CUTE OMG#HOW DID I ALMOST FORGET TO MENTION THAT LIKE WHAT#it was such a bonus to see tae too 🤭#!!! i’m just really happy#i’ll add more tags later... i just want to fall asleep now bc my eyes literally can’t anymore lol#anyway... ik i’m being very delulu here but like. sorry if it bothers you; i’m like this. 🤡#will always be jeon jungkook’s bitch <3#bye bye ~ my eyes hurt 🙁#see you guys tomorrow and i love jungkook 😆... and y’all too <3
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idk a man is sick of not celebrating its birthday with a group close knit friends and food like everyone else is that too much to ask
#abc shut it#it it not to much to ask to feel loved and respected by those who claim to love me?#if i have to spend one more birthday alone i swear to god#if i have to spend one more birthday doing the same ahit as always i will make my 30th One To Remember :))#vent#but any attempts i try to put myself out there and make friends and be myself no one wants it#the ppl i’m friends with now i can’t even relate too or keep up with#i try to talk with new ppl and i just feel like i’m belittled and talked down too#alll my problems step from having something fundemtnally wrong with me that i can’t fix#that just makes ppl not wanna be my friend or do anything with me#‘it’s bc your such a downer’ i try not to be! but it’s hard when you feel like your invisible to everyone even those who care about you#like what am /I/ doing wrong???? no one wants to tell me than just try harder and do it scared and alone#as if i haven’t been doing shit scared and alone and sick of it#but i’m never allowed a word on edgewise in any conversation#how am i suppose to learn to socialize when no one lets me talk or participate
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He’s so
Like how.
#god I’m going crazy I’m so in love with him it actually insane#I need to shift so I can kiss this man on the lips#like I can’t put in the words he’s just so amazing#and gorgeous and beautiful and wonderful and just. WOW.#LIKE WOW#Lee Minho the man you are#lee minho#skz#a
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well…it’s happened. Landslide has OFFICIALLY been entirely written and i’ve never been more emotional by an ending than this. more to come in the coming weeks and a big thank you hopefully soon after :)
#literally have tears in my eyes#quite literally took my blood sweat and TEARS#PHEW#y’all that was 640 pages of pure grit GOD DAMN#just had to put this up here simply bc it’s been 2 and 1/2 years with this and i almost can’t believe it#OMG?!?$#band of brothers#landslide#natia filipska#and natia gets the last word#if that’s any consolation#she gets her peace 🫶🥹
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