#just. allowing yourself to exist in your current state of being

[asiantuntija]

something something starting anew....

[etherealkissed88]

learn indifference ⋆˙✧⋆

indifference = “lack of interest, lack of concern”

since we already know the 3d is always neutral and has no original meaning, we know that as the operant power we are the ones that assign ‘circumstances’ and ‘negative’ thoughts meaning.

we should continue being indifferent to the 3d meaning we dont care how it looks because it never means anything. being indifferent means no giving the 3d power, energy, no entertaining thoughts that dont serve us, no holding our desires above the pedestal, no accepting and creating stories based on our current 3d and dwelling in them.

remember that we are not our thoughts, we are not our circumstances, we are not our emotions, doubts, states, or anxieties. our past experiences have no power over us until we decide it does.

how to be indifferent:

be internally fulfilled (satisfy your inner self w the desire which is now reality) so that you feel the knowing of already having your desire which means it will be easier to not give a fuck about the 3d

accept the end and only the end: know that the 3d could be changing in your favor for example, a lady was manifesting a better high paying job and she got fired from her current job for whatever reason. because she got fired, someone recommended her to a new job which was higher paying and she got that job (which was what she wanted). imagine if she accepted the 3d when she lost her job instead of only accepting the end goal. this is why nothing in the 3d matters and why the 3d cant be trusted. whatever you see, dont identify with “this isnt working” blah blah blah because you should be practicing indifference like that lady. she didnt gaf about the 3d and continued accepting she was already her desired self

trust the law: the law is always working and failure does not exist. you identify as a desired version of you and fulfill? ok now its done. theres nothing else to do but continue being that person. dont let anything in the 3d crash you down. dont even entertain the option of “failure”

know the 3d is a reflection of imagination: it has no mind of its own. the only thing it knows how to do is reflect self/imagination so know that at every moment, you always call the shots. this is all you so why care or validate the 3d when its only a reflection of you?

hold yourself higher on the pedestal: when you put yourself (inner self/imagination) first, you become attached to anything else. finding validation in yourself only instead of the 3d. when you want something, immediately fulfill yourself with in imagination instead of searching for fulfillment in the 3d

stop giving the 3d attention: have you ever heard of “whatever you focus on grows”? when you find yourself being aware of the 3d, just shift you attention elsewhere

“As the end is accepted, you become totally indifferent as to possible failure, for acceptance of the end wills the means to that end. When you emerge from the moment of prayer, it is as though you were shown the happy and successful end of a play although you were not shown how that end was achieved.” - ng

“The best denial is total indifference. Things wither and die through indifference. They are kept alive through attention. You do not deny a thing by saying it does not exist. Rather you put feeling into it by recognizing it, and what you recognize as true, is true to you, be it good, bad or indifferent.” - nd

before indifference: *allowing negative thoughts to consume you, accepting the 3d ‘negative circumstances’ as true, when you imagine something and look at the 3d you feel easily discouraged and start to be a victim to it, feeling like you have to ignore the 3d because youre scared of it, you feel the need to search for answers in the 3d all day because you see it as more important than it actually is, you are attached to the 3d and your mood changes when a single little thing looks “bad”*

after indifference: *nothing in the 3d shakes who you are being in imagination because you know who you are internally being is the only truth, you dont care about experiencing things in the 3d that are the opposite of your desire because you know you always call the shots, if you get discouraged you get your ass back up and know yourself to be the operant power, you arent attached to the 3d and searching for its validation*

so when you are indifferent to the 3d, you dont care about it, you arent afraid of it, you know it holds no importance or original meaning therefore you dont let it influence who you are being in imagination. think about when people pass by a homeless person on the street: they might think about it in the moment but most of them would go thro the rest of their day forgetting about it because they just didnt care. think about that one person who always knows they look good and their jealous friend tells them they look bad: that person would not care about outside voices because they know that they look good and they only accept internal validation

your only job is accepting the desire that the inner self experiences, as true while being indifferent to the experiences of the human self

kisses, jani ☆

[eamour]

creation is finished.

the phrase "creation is finished" is a principle that most of us are already familiar with. it‘s the unchangeable fact that creation, in other words, what you can imagine — and what you desire — already exists. but how can this piece of information be so significant?

infinite realities exist.

"infinite realities exist" means that infinite versions of you exist. now, with creation being finished you have a large variety, an infinite amount of realities to choose from. anything that you can think of exists already. you don’t need to "create" it, it’s just there. whatever reality you are currently experiencing, there is a version of you right now that‘s doing something completely different. but there is also a version of you right now that’s experiencing things nearly identical to you, but they are wearing a different coat. or they have blinked a couple of times more. or they didn’t pronounce the same word you did in this reality the same way. whatever it is, any reality you can imagine — no matter how identical it is to another — it exists.

all versions are yours.

it’s important to note that these infinite realities all belong to you. you don’t need to ask anyone to give them to you, you don’t need to ask for allowance or permission and you don’t need to seek for something outside of you. they are all equally available and equally accessible to you. whatever you want, whatever you desire and whatever you wish to experience — you can give it to yourself. you can have it. you can own it. because you are the only person who is allowed to grant yourself your desires, for you are the only operant power and it’s your reality.

if you can desire it, you can have it.

did you ever think about why creation is finished? why does imagination create reality? why is your 3D mirroring your 4D? it’s because something exists once you desire it. see, if you desire something, you imagine it. imagining as in becoming aware of it. and if you can be aware of it, you can manifest it. you can shift to the reality where you have what you are wishing for — because there has to be a reality where your wish has been fulfilled.

imagination is your confirmation.

knowing that you can have anything, that you can become conscious of having, implies that imagination (you can also say consciousness or awareness) is the only evidence you need in order to manifest something. if you ever wonder about whether a desire of yours seems too impossible to manifest, keep in mind that you are the only validation you need. you are your own confirmation. you wouldn’t be able to manifest it if you couldn’t desire it. that’s proof enough. so, never ever question your desires!

everything lies within you.

if creation is finished, if everything you could ever possibly desire and imagine and feel already exists within your imagination. that means that all the answers you are searching for, all the responses are also already within you. any conception of self, any state of mind, any reality is already inside you. you don’t need to seek anything in the outside world. you don’t need to look for answers outside of you — because YOU are your own answer.

select your desired reality.

what are you waiting for!? your desired reality exists RIGHT NOW as you are reading this and is waiting for you to experience it! think of your imagination as a library. whatever you want, whatever book (here: reality) you want to read, you can get it. it’s ALL in there, don’t worry. your only job is to DECIDE and TAKE (here: assume) your desired story and make it yours!

with love, ella.

[daretoassume]

consciously manifesting for others

guide + some excerpts from different lectures of neville goddard

aligning your vibration with your desires is no different from consciously manifesting for others. i believe everything and everyone you see in your current reality is malleable and can be transformed—not by persuading or controlling them, but through your mind.

after all, it is your physical reality. you can shift to different realities where what you envision exists, including what you desire others to experience, how you prefer them to be, or the kind of person you wish them to become.

 "if you assume that you are that finer, nobler one you wish to be, you will see others as they are related to your high assumption. all enlightened men wish for the good of others. if it is the good of another you seek, you must use the same controlled contemplation. in meditation, you must represent the other to yourself as already being or having the greatness you desire for him."  ♱ the law of assumption, neville goddard

it's no use of complaining about the other person and not use the law for them. i mean, our physical reality is not always perfect but don't you want to see them thrive and grow as a person? even if it's nothing got to do with you. it's not having other people agree with everything you say but seeing them expand their perception and see them actually changing.

how to actually manifest for others

it doesn't matter how they feel about themselves or what you think about them. the only thing that matters is how you want them to represent in your reality. what do you want them to experience in your reality? how do you want them to live in your reality?

stop acknowledging the things that don’t serve them, no matter what you’ve heard.

create mental conversations where you hear them telling you they got what they wanted.

assume their state. imagine you’re them, already living their desired reality.

see them in your mind happy, satisfied, and grateful. imagine them telling you the good news.

feel joy for them, knowing it’s already done. go to sleep holding on to that feeling.

"i tell you that if you imagine, that someone stands before you in bodily form, although they cannot be seen with your mortal eye, but actually you imagine they are standing before you and you carried on a conversation with them from the premise of your fulfilled desire for them, and then you feel them as you would feel them were they now solidly present, and you believe in the reality of that imaginal act, it’s done!" ♱ the pearl of great price, neville goddard

consider what qualities, circumstances, or growth you desire them to embody in your reality and allow that vision to guide your perspective. and like always, know that it is done. you don't have to do anything but have the inner knowing that you don't have to do different techniques. this is how you detached.

how would you represent them in your reality?

whenever i’m upset or angry at someone, instead of focusing on their flaws or being stuck in the conflict, i just transform how i see them. let’s say i’m mad at someone or they’ve hurt me—i don’t want to stay in that state. so instead, i imagine them apologizing, changing for the better, or becoming kinder and more compassionate. instead of dwelling on the negative trait they have, i’m moving into a state where they’re acting in alignment with the best version of themselves.

as an empath, it's kind of challenging to brush off what i feel in my current reality and transform it in my mind, but over the years, i realized that reality is malleable, it's like clay but i have to actually acknowledge my emotions so that i'm not letting my current reality or anyone in my current reality to tell me what to feel. so that i can then proceed to disciplining my mind and detach on the situation of what just happened.

"when you see someone in despair can you represent him to yourself as he would like to be seen? and can you persuade yourself that what you see is real? To the degree that you are self-persuaded he will become that man. then you will have conquered by forgiveness! You will have taken him out of one state and placed him in another." ♱ infinite states, neville goddard

what you give out (your perception of them) is what you get back. persist on the idea you created for them with no expectation and feel that they are already what you want them to be but never let your physical reality (how they behave) tell you what to feel about it. when you change your beliefs about them, how you react to them physically or emotionally will eventually change.

again, you can do SATS, visualization, scripting, whatever permission slip that is, do it once or until it feels natural for you then drop it. don't check your physical reality if it's already happening or not. the real shift is inside of you. when you have aligned your mind, there's no need for you to check what's outside of you.

[genshin-side-piece]

The Collector

A/N: An expansion on this post. I've been struggling to be inspired, but this one has been sitting for awhile.

Warnings: Minors DNI, 18+, Yandere themes, Yandere Behavior, Power Imbalance, Dark themes, mentions of physical abuse, implied kidnapping, sexual themes, no actual smut (sorry), My bad writing

It wasn’t a horrible existence. After feeling like you had been here for an aeon, that’s what you had convinced yourself of. Your needs, at least in a basic sense, were met. The world in which you lived provided you ample food, clothing, and shelter. The weather was tolerable, despite the fact that it never changed, & you weren’t entirely alone. The odd little servant you had been given offered you some interesting conversation. Never anything stimulating or god forbid current, but interesting. You had taken many a nap to the dulcet tones of the bird like creature as it told you stories of battles won and successes enjoyed. Not of its own of course. It, like its brethren, were servants. They held no victories or successes, unless you counted the stain they had shifted from your clothes last week. No, the battles, the victories, the successes, all belonged to one individual. The only individual whose name you were allowed to hear about. Your supposed lord and savior, the reason for your present existence, the cause of your eternal misery; Rex Lapis.

Though, as you laid staring up at the false sky, it was hard to know if he was still your lord. The idea of him being overthrown was one you frequently entertained in your boredom. The potential fall of the Lord of Geo had provided you with many hours of amusement, but you had no way of knowing if it had actually happened or if it would happen. Rex would never allow your companion to tell you if it had. One thing was certain though; he was still alive. Your continued presence in the realm of his own making was proof of that. His visits to your little realm however, had dropped off. It felt like it had been a hundred years since you had last seen him. Maybe it had been that long, it was hard to know. Your realm, like you, was an eternal thing. It existed in a perpetual state of twilight, never giving away how long you had actually been here. Time, like the stars or the true sky or even current events, was not allowed. 

“Basking in the gilded light are we?” The deep, rich tone of his voice cut across you, shattering what was your peace. You shot up off the grass, your eyes boring holes into his golden ones the second you found them. He only answered with a soft smile. The same smile you had stupidly fallen for all those years ago. “Hello dearest.”  He was in a good mood or so you thought. Rex practically purred the word at you. “How wonderful it is to see you. I understand you’ve been quite well.” By that you knew he meant calm. Your last encounter with him, the one where you had verbally banished him from your life, had been a different affair. The circumstances of which you had since come to accept were still somewhat fresh then. You had felt betrayed, furious at his actions. You had demanded your release to the point of screaming it at him, only to be denied. Your rage had been met head on by his will. An unwinnable battle to be sure. On one side was the impenetrable wall of cold stone that shattered all who would refuse to yield and on the other was you. It didn’t take a genius to figure out what the result of your confrontation would be. Like everything else that came to blows with Rex Lapis, you too would lose. He would pick up whatever fragments were left and mold you to his will, just as he had the rest of Liyue. All he needed was time, a thing that thanks to him, neither of you had any shortage of. “I thought we might take a stroll together. The air here is quite pleasant.” He actually dared to seem bashful in front of you. After forbidding you any kind of real happiness he had the audacity to act like you were his first brush with love. “I have missed our chats. It would be nice to talk as we did before.” You swallowed. As you had before.

“You mean-“ A bitter laugh slipped past your lips. How many evenings had you spent arm in arm with him, parading through the empty plains, admiring how the setting sun cast them in a gilded light? The same field, and the same light you were now expected to endure for all eternity. “Before you tricked me.” Before he had trapped you. 

It had been so easy for him or rather, you had made yourself easy prey. Rex had played his cards regarding you well. He had expertly guided you down a primrose path, bringing you to its intended end when he had presented you with your very own teapot. A bespoke one, much like the hundreds of others that lined the walls of his home. You had always admired them. Always asked after the different designs on them. Each one was unique, a work of true art, much like the person he kept secretly locked inside. At the time of its presentation, yours had been plain and unexceptional. The simplicity of it was stunning, a thing to behold on its own, but a bit dull. After he had triggered his trap by bidding you to look down inside of it, you had to wonder how it had changed. Was it still simple or like the others, did it reflect your own preferences and personality? You would never know. Despite your many attempts to learn the truth, Rex wouldn’t tell you. The closest you had ever gotten was that it, like you, was a lovely thing. A wonderful addition to his ever growing collection.

“Now now-“ The gentle smile gave way to a frown. His features became harder, reflecting the disappointment he obviously felt by the harsh reminder of your feelings regarding your situation. When he was with you, he preferred not to be reminded that only one of you was a willing participant in this arrangement. He preferred the fantasy that despite his actions, you and he were still lovers. “Of all the paths we can choose to walk on this fine evening, let’s not select that one.” Not when there were prettier ones available to him.“The glaze lily’s have come into bloom. I thought we might discuss that.”

“Why? I thought you only enjoyed discussing the past.” Or was it the present? Maybe that’s why he refused to discuss anything of value with you. Your permanent stasis left you suspended somewhere between the past that he adored, the present he chose to ignore, and the future that in his mind didn’t exist. 

“Please don’t force me to be unkind. I should prefer this to be a pleasant visit.” As opposed to the others, which generally ended with you screaming at him or your own tears bleeding into the soft fabric of the bed after he’d had his fill. Sometimes it was both. This visit would be no different 

You knew why he had come. His attempt at small talk and a stroll were little more than foreplay for him seeding his desires. When his visits had been more regular, Rex would often attempt to pull the wool over your eyes with whatever served his motives best. So long as the encounter ended with him ridding himself of the carnal desires that plagued him without too much of a fuss from you, any effort he exerted was worth it. According to him, only you could quench his unyielding thirst. A night or day or however long it actually was would generally buy you a little peace. Sometimes you got longer or you believed you did. He had an eye for the exquisite, so when a new prize would present themselves to him. He would seize it.  He only returned to you when he had tired of the new favorite or they had disappointed him. He was fickle like that. Apparently not every gem was worthy of pleasing their lord. If they failed, they would be placed on a shelf, forgotten and abandoned for all time. You only knew that because he had threatened to do it to you. According to him, Rex would be remiss in removing you from your honored place near his bed should you continue to displease him. He would hate not to have you near, but that hatred wouldn’t stop him from setting you aside. Your current confinement was proof of that. “Will you walk with me dearest?” He held out his hand to you, his tone becoming less agitated with each word. He was trying to redirect the conversation and the mood to something more pliable, more pleasant. He could work with those. Force, while reliable, was always his last resort when it came to you. He had long learned that the rougher he got with you, the rougher it would be should he decide to call again. 

“Will you tell me about my family if I do?” He wouldn’t, his instant hesitation at the question was proof he wouldn’t. “Then perhaps how long you’ve held me captive? How many years have I rested next to your bed Rex?” If you were even still there. Like time, the teapot being moved didn’t affect you. The only concern you would have is if it were to be broken. 

“Dearest-“ He lowered his hand slightly, his gilded fingers curling in on themselves. “Please do not worry over such things…” You turned away from him not wanting to hear anymore. The idea that he was going to dismiss your plea for what you felt was the millionth time, annoyed you. 

Don’t worry. Don’t trouble yourself. Don’t think. Don’t feel. Stay as you are, as you were. Never change. Never grow old. Never move on. Never die. Just be. It was infuriating. It was maddening. How could you not think about it? How could you not worry over it when your surroundings were perpetual. Nothing ever changed in this place. Nothing would change in this place, not unless Rex willed it to be so. Since he hadn’t, nor was he likely to, your mind could only ever seem to dwell on what you weren’t allowed to know versus the lies he expected you to believe. 

“If you do not wish to walk, then I will join you in your rest. I am happy to converse with you here.” His outstretched hand fell back to his side in defeat. “The glaze lilies-” Gods above, to the abyss with him and his precious glaze lilies. You found yourself hating them more than you hated him. So much so, that you abruptly rose from your spot on the grass in a swirl of gold and silk, easily ignoring his hopeful look. “Have you changed your mind? Will you walk with me after all?” You turned, giving him a glare that you hoped would sour his aspirations once and for all. “If your goal is a leisurely stroll to the house so that you might engage in a conjugal visit, then save your breath. I have neither the will nor the inclination to listen to anything you wish to speak about. Just take what you want and leave.”  He didn’t respond, at least not right away. It allowed you a moment to try to get a head start on him. Regrettably, the opportunity for escape evaporated faster than steam dissolving into the air. Rex reached out to you, firmly taking hold of your wrist before you had the chance to get away. His grip was far from punishing, but the sudden contact startled you all the same. You made a slight effort to free yourself from him. It was a foolish attempt to be sure, but you still tried. Rex, for his part, didn’t entertain it. He silently responded by pulling you towards him, only ceasing when you were next to him. 

A quick glance into his eyes told you that you were in for a world of trouble. The amiable nature of which Rex had approached you had vanished. What replaced it was the version of Rex that you had become all too familiar with since coming here; the conqueror, the emperor, the archon. A version that unlike the former commanded both your submission and your obedience with a single glance. This version did not rely on simple benevolence or honeyed words to get his way. This version would, should he need to, level the world if it meant achieving his desired goal.

“When the time is right I will, as always, be happy to join you in the comfort of our bed dearest.” You flinched at the sharpness of his tone. It cut through you, causing you to temporarily regret the callousness of your invitation. While you hated him, the only thing you loathed more was awakening the temper that laid just below Rex’s cool surface. Beneath his upright facade laid a molten core, one that could easily explode with the right trigger. Your behavior, specifically your refusal of his initial request being that trigger. One glance into his eyes told you exactly how imminent that eruption truly was. He wasn’t interested in your antics, nor would he be especially tolerant of them. While he had come to you with a smile and warm intentions, both were little more than an illusion. A clever mask to hide his true reason for coming here. His already short temper coupled with his quick escalation of the situation spoke to a deeper problem. One that extended past the confines of your little world and into the real one. One that he had come to you to forget. That knowledge pinned you in place, a cold chill running the length of your spine. The last time you had seen this side of him crept back into your mind. It was an experience you weren’t keen to relive. 

While he had never harmed you to a severe degree, Rex had learned how to make things uncomfortable for you. He could twist your world how he liked, providing as little or as much as he wanted. When you displeased him, the general plenty you enjoyed could morph into austerity before he had even left. He would only return what he had taken when you decided acquiesce to whatever demand he had made of you. Then and only then would he physically reinforce his dominance over you, making sure you understood your place in his world before he restored what he had taken. The iron grip on your wrist was one such reminder. It was a warning of the discomfort to come, should you continue to be difficult. 

“That time though, is not now. My purpose in visiting you was not simply to sow my carnal desires and leave.” You tried to look away from him, but he tightened his grip on you, forcing you to look back. “I wish to enjoy your company.” His tone left no room for argument, despite your expressed need to do so.

You had wishes too. Ones that you had voiced over and over, only to have them fall on deaf ears. The idea that you wanted to be free to live your life, that you wanted to go home, that you wanted even the smallest chance to die were all preposterous notions in Rex’s eyes. He dismissed them as quickly as they came. Blocking each request with a practiced ease that only came from a millennia of ruling. The need to voice them again rose. The desire to pull your wrist away from his iron grip so that might walk away began to fill you. Still, for your own well being, you held both your tongue and your actions in check. Like him, you had enough experience to know that now was not the time to argue with him. His insistence had not reached the point of him dragging you behind him or hoisting you over his shoulder so that he might get his way. He merely had hold of you and for now, it wouldn’t go any further than that. The encounter wouldn’t end with you covered in bruises and unable to walk due to the force of which he took you. It could still end in an entirely civil, yet degrading manner. All you had to do was subject yourself to his desires. The question was, could you?

[nakedbibi333]

Assumptions Harden Into Fact - Neville Goddard

In this lecture, Neville discusses how assumptions or beliefs are the basis of the law of assumption. He uses stories from the Bible that talk about manifestation “between you, the sleeping one, the deeper you, and the conscious waking you” otherwise known as the subconscious and the conscious minds. 

“Concentrate your attention upon the idea of identifying yourself with your ideal. Assume you are already that which you seek and your assumption, though false, if sustained, will harden into fact.”

Creation is finished

“There is nothing to be that is not now. There is nothing to be created for all things are already yours, they are all finished.”

What you desire already exists within consciousness. You cannot imagine something if it is impossible, because the brain cannot create something that does not exist. Anything you can imagine already exists and therefore can manifest in the physical world.

“Your dimensionally greater Self has ways that the lesser, or three-dimensional you, know not of.”

Your inner man knows exactly how to bring your desires to fruition, you do not need to take any action or try to figure out how it will manifest physically.

You only need to assume that it is yours in order to manifest it, nothing else.

“Although man may not be able to stand physically upon a state, he can always stand mentally upon any desired state.” 

Even if you are not currently experiencing your ideal physical world, you can always access your ideal life through imagination.

“Remain in the mental state defined as your objective until it has the feeling of reality, and all the forces of heaven and earth will rush to aid its embodiment." 

As long as you persist in your fulfilled desires, it will manifest.

“In my Father’s house are unnumbered concepts of self”

You will never deplete the world of your desires, because they are infinite. 

There are an infinite amount of states you can occupy, so mentally prepare that state you desire to dwell in and then occupy it.

SATS

Neville calls SATS a “controlled waking dream”

The wish fulfilled should be achieved with minimal effort.

Experience the imaginal act that implies the fulfillment of your desire and the feeling of the wish fulfilled will come as long as you fully immerse yourself within this act.

Do not force the feeling, allow it to envelop you naturally.

“Know what you want. Then construct a single event, an event which implies fulfillment of your wish. Restrict the event to a single act.” or you can use the lullaby method, by reducing the fulfillment of your desire to a short and simple phrase. 

“Just relax and enter into the feeling of actually being what you want to be.” 

Don't overcomplicate or stress yourself out by wondering if you're doing it "right." It does not need to be super detailed. 

As long as what you are doing is implying to you that your wish is fulfilled, then you are doing it right.

“Refuse to enter into conversations that are unlovely, refuse to listen attentively to anything that tears down.” 

Do not pay attention to the 3D when it tries to show you things that do not align with your wish fulfilled. Ignore it and remember that the true reality is consciousness and what you experienced in imagination is the only truth there is

Neville in most of his lectures uses stories from the bible that he believes explain, in an allegorical way, how to manifest. In this lecture, he discusses 4 different stories. I've broken down the most important points from those stories for clarity purposes. It may be easier to understand if you read the stories side by side with these notes.

The story of Pilate and the crucifixion of Jesus and Passover

“For desire is to confess that you do not now possess what you desire, and because all things are yours, you rob yourself by living in that state of desire”

“I cannot have and still continue to desire what I have. I may enjoy it, but I cannot continue wanting it”

This is another example of double-mindedness, or serving two masters (see previous lecture post). You cannot desire something you already have.

“Man is incapable of passing over from one state of consciousness into another unless he releases from consciousness that which he now entertains, for it anchors him where he is”

You must die to the old state in order to pass over to the new state. 

You cannot stay the same (with the same beliefs and thoughts) and also enter a new state. You must completely leave the old you behind and become your desired self.

Let go of previous beliefs that hinder you from fully entering your new beliefs.

“If at this very moment you have an unfulfilled ambition, then you are entertaining that which denies the fulfillment of the ambition, and that which denies it is Barabbas.” 

If you have a desire that you have not fulfilled within yourself, the only person denying the fulfillment of that desire is you. 

“You must now become identified with the ideal that you would serve, and you must remain faithful to the ideal.”

“You walk in the consciousness of being that which you want to be, no one sees it as yet, but you do not need a man to roll away the problems and the obstacles of life in order to express that which you are conscious of being.”

Release your old state (your old self) and replace that with your new state (your desired or ideal self)

Neville says that you will know that you changed your state when you look mentally at the people you know and notice a change in relationship. 

“We must imagine that others see us as they would see us were we what we desire to be”

If you successfully changed self, others will see you differently, they will see you as you desire to be seen.

Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane

The purpose of Neville explaining this story is to talk about the meditative state that you prepare in your mind before engaging in SATS or the lullaby method.

The garden is your “prepared mind” a calm, still state of mind in which you are drowsy and near sleep (basically SATS)

“All creation [...] takes place in the state of sleep, or that state which is akin to sleep”

In this garden, you die to your old conception of self and resurrect as your new ideal state.

Let go of your previous self-concept and create a new one and completely embody that.

Book of Joshua

Your consciousness has created everything you have. 

You do not stop manifesting, and you never “began” manifesting. You have always created the life around you. 

You can have all you desire, as long as you experience it in consciousness and believe that it is yours. 

“You are functioning three-dimensionally and you cannot seem to reach the fourth-dimensional world where your present desire is already a concrete objective reality. You cannot seem to reach it because your senses bar you from it. Reason tells you it is impossible, all things round about you tell you it is not true.”

Your inability to grant reality upon imagination and placing too much emphasis on conditions, reason, and the physical world is keeping you from experiencing the true fulfillment of all your desires. Since you believe it is impossible, you have made it so.

Rahab

No one can see your internal world, no one can see your imagination. 

“You have within you the capacity to appropriate a state without knowing the means that will be employed to realize that end and you assume the feeling of the wish fulfilled without having any of the talents that ment claim you must possess in order to do so.”

“Satisfy self by appropriating the feeling that you are what you want to be”

However, you seem to notice that the physical you is not satisfied until it comes to be, until it’s physically manifested.

The Sabbath: “the state when man is completely unmoved in his conviction that the thing is. When I can assume the feeling of my wish fulfilled and go to sleep, unconcerned, undisturbed, I am at rest mentally, and am keeping the Sabbath” (persisting)

Circumstances will work themselves out, barriers will be moved, and countless events will happen in order to make your desire real in the physical world.

You will never lose your ability to manifest, it will always be yours.

The Book of Numbers

Man is the temple of god and man’s imagination is the well from which all things grow.

“Assume the feeling of the wish fulfilled and go to sleep in this mood”

“The sensation which dominates the mind of man as he falls asleep, though false, will harden into fact.”

Neville believes that this sensation before sleep (the state akin to sleep or SATS) is the way that the conscious man can access the subconscious mind easiest. Falling asleep to an imaginal act (or lullaby - affirmations such as “isn’t it wonderful”) that implies the fulfillment of your desire is how you manifest.

“But we have a living tabernacle wherein God dwells [man is the temple of God], and it is covered with a cloud which can and does ascend when we go to sleep or are in a state akin to sleep [man can use imagination to access consciousness and become that which he desires]. Not necessarily in two days, it can ascend in two minutes. Why did they give you two days? If I now become the man I want to be, I may become dissatisfied tomorrow. I should at least give it a day before I decide to move on.”

Persistence is important because the outer world (conditions, reason, etc) can influence us to falter sometimes. We must return to the wish fulfilled when this happens and continue to be faithful to that.

[feelinmatcha]

❛ 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐈𝐍 𝐁𝐄𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐄𝐍 ❜

SYNOPSIS: sanji x reader, more than friends, less than lovers. WARNINGS: none 🎵: about you by the 1975

As you stood on the opposite side of the kitchen counter from The Cook, the subtle tension in the air seemed to thicken, wrapping around you like a shroud. Though the space was familiar, doubling as both a kitchen and dining area aboard the Thousand Sunny, today it felt unfamiliar, as if you were tiptoeing into uncharted territory, mindful of respecting his privacy and boundaries.

For Sanji, this kitchen was more than just a place to cook; it was his sanctuary, a refuge from the chaos of the world beyond the ship's hull. His keen eyes swept over your disheveled appearance with a mix of concern and curiosity, taking in the damp strands of hair plastered to your forehead and the faint traces of saltwater clinging to your skin. A single strand of seaweed entangled amidst your locks spoke volumes of the recent maritime misadventure you had endured. Your once-breezy sundress now clung to you uncomfortably, betraying the discomfort you surely felt.

"What happened, darling?" Sanji's voice, tinged with genuine concern, sliced through the heavy silence like a sizzling knife through butter. His eyes, sharp and searching, scanned the room for answers, seeking to understand the circumstances that led to your current state.

"I lost a bet," you murmured softly, arms instinctively wrapping around yourself in a defensive gesture. "Usopp and Luffy thought it'd be fun to toss me overboard."

Sanji's heart clenched at the defeated look in your eyes, his protective instincts bubbling to life. Stepping closer, he extinguished his cigarette with a flick of his wrist, his hands hovering over your slumped form, a silent offering of comfort and support. Despite the worry etched into his features, he managed a tight-lipped smile, a small beacon of reassurance in the middle of your uncertainty.

"You shouldn't be here," he fretted. "You need to take a hot bath and change into dry clothes. You'll catch a cold if you remain in this state." His words, though gentle, carried the weight of just how concerned he was for your well-being. It was a testament to the bond that existed between you two aboard the Straw Hat Pirates' ship.

With a nod of understanding, you allowed yourself to be guided by Sanji's gentle insistence. Together, you made your way to the bathroom, the sound of running water mingling with the soft hum of the ship's engines. In the warmth of the bath, surrounded by the comforting scent of lavender soap and steam, you felt a sense of relief wash over you. As you emerged from the bathroom, clad in fresh clothes provided by Sanji, you couldn't help but feel a different kind of gratitude towards him. His whole personality had been a lifeline, a reminder that even in the darkest of times, there was always someone there willing to pull you out of the tumultuous sea-- figuratively and literally.

NOTES: had this little one in my drafts for way too long and i've only now decided to finish it. opla fanfics is getting dry wayyy too fast for my liking.

[mins-fins]

i killed you — [ lee jeno — 엔시티. ]

and you're possibly on the verge of death, humbling, painstakingly slow death (well not really, you're simply overdramatic) | now playing ౨ৎ

"hello? cadet seventy four? do you read?"

fuck the control panel for being built high up, you have to lug yourself upward to even attempt a hand on top of the buttons. fortunately, you memorized the placements of specific buttons, levers, and sensors just in case you or other members of the crew suddenly went blind, had an accident or..

whatever the fuck just happened to you just now.

your palm smashes against the communication button, and your intake of breath is in tandem with an increase of pain in your chest. "yes yes, my apologies i'm simply—"

"are you alright?"

lord you wish you were. only one very person on this spacecraft requires adequate medical training and they are currently not having the best time, possibly rendered unconscious by the prior events which had unfolded. you cough, hopelessness foreshadowed. "i'm having some trouble! huang is unconscious!"

"huang is wha— how did that even happen!?"

"it was a critical situation that i took care of okay!? jesus i think i broke something.."

help is useless when communication is all on earth, you switch off communication and slump forward as your limbs give in, possibly fracturing something else in the process.

"ow.." you mumble, tears pooling at the corners of your eyes.

if you were to die, you could at least have died in a much more delicate manner. you should have passed in your sleep, peacefully, on the cusp of a beautiful dream about the stars, not on the floor of a spacecraft which you worked several years towards just to be thwarted by some otherworldly thing that attempted to take out your teammate.

well, not everybody gets what they desire.

"hey, get up".

"ow ow ow, hey! you're going to get fined if you break my bones!" you whine, despite a guardian angel being bestowed upon you, arms wrapping around you as your lifted in a typical bridal fashion. you curse silently, still on the peak of sobbing.

"you'll be fine.." your saving grace, lee jeno mutters, as if you can do anything but cry at your circumstances.

"jeno i'm gonna die" you allow yourself the pleasure of complete sadness, tears streaming down your cheeks as you whine endlessly about your mother and how you won't be seen for proceeding months because you're in space meaning it'll be so uncomfortable having to exist around a corpse.

"no you aren't".

"yes i am!" your hands are thrown up into the air, sobs clinging to your throat, hiccuping incessantly. "they're gonna tell my mom late and my funeral's gonna be terrible cause we'll get back home late!"

jeno sighs, swiping a tear with his thumb. "shh, it's alright, i'm here".

you let your tears stain his shirt, emotions encapsulating you over dramatically. when he finally does lay you down, you reach out for him, fingers slipping from his yet continuing to cling. jeno is only aware of the basics when it comes to medical care. "what about injunie?"

"hyuck has got that taken care of".

"is he not—"

"he's okay y/n" jeno reassures, his tranquility offering you a glimpse of solace in such a situation where it feels each bone is protruding from its kept place. "you need to relax" he rubs at your wrist, and you reach out to hold his hand, aware the gesture will bring you the consolation you need in this situation.

you take a deep breath, utterly useless currently. "i totally derailed us didn't i?"

and you aren't the captain, your authority naught, but the.. mess that just so happened to end in this situation came with consequences, even if you did defeat a certain undiscovered foe. "not by much, the journey won't change much".

"i did the right thing, right? i didn't just alter the mission?"

"fuck the mission" jeno states, a batch of words you'd never expect from such a stoic captain who prioritized the craft and earning his spot as an actual astronaut more than anything. there appeared to be a gleam of something different in his eyes this time, a strange sense of devotion. "god just— it's a miracle you two lived you shouldn't have done that by yourself".

"but i succeeded, wasn't it great?"

he scrunches his nose. "sure".

you pout, clutching to his hand as if he'll slip away at any moment, carried away by the wind the minute you allow for your intertwined fingers separate. "stay?"

you've never been one to beg, you suppose he could give you credence for now, the situation calls for it.

his hold on your hand tightens, and he nods as he presses your foreheads together. "of course".

[problemnyatic]

Unfriendly, very sharp reminder that your identity does not actually preclude you from subscribing to oppressive, conservative worldviews. I see a staggering number of people who argue very conservative points, but they use progressive language, and have carved out a niche in their beliefs that allow them (and people exactly like them) to exist, so theyre totally progressive bro trust me.

If your beliefs about what rights people should have, who is allowed to exist in public, and what is "valid" to be are rooted in ANY way in your sense of disgust, propriety, politeness, or any other thing like that, instead of in carefully thought-out logic that is aware of the actual real world history and current state of human rights and how they are in jeapordy? You're not being progressive, you're being conservative, but this time the road is paved with extra double good intentions.

If real human diversity is to exist, if human rights are to become truly universal and inaliable, you are going to need to envision a world where you are made uncomfortable, and you will need to learn to be *glad* for that, because that discomfort will be a sign that your worldview is being expanded.

Using the language of consent, of civility, of fairness, of "common sense," to make points that boil down to "I just don't think people should x/y/z, I am uncomfortable with the idea of people being x where I can see it, I just think the bad ones should let the good ones set themselves apart," is violence. It is the very same tactics white liberals have been using for decades to argue down civil rights and human rights as disruptive, and thus bad.

Human beings fuck. We have kinky sex together. We eat food that you can't imagine enjoying. We talk in ways that sound like home to one of us and like nonsense to another. We look different than you. Act different than you. Believe things you find reprehensible. This is a good thing and should be celebrated.

if you think it is reasonable to ask any minority, even and especially another of your community, to be more presentable for our oppressors, or hide ourselves for the sake of the image of the "good ones," to be careful about "confirming the biases" of people who have always thought that x y z minorities are subhuman, then you have not actually done the work of unlearning the conservative rhetoric you were raised on, and you are poisoning the human rights movement as a whole.

Fight for a world that doesn't conform to you. It's the only way you'll know for sure that other people are allowed to exist as freely as yourself, and the only way to ensure you'll be allowed to be you, too.

[girlboybug]

You Can Be the Boss

"he has a white corvette like i want it, a fire in his eyes no i saw it, he's bleeding from his brain and his wallet, he's sick and he's taken but honest."

or the one where you're javier's current favorite informant but steve doesn't quite trust you.

what’s playing 🎧 : you can be the boss by lana del rey

pairing : javier pena x reader x steve murphy

word count : 8k

CONTENT WARNINGS : SMUT, threesome, soft!dom javi, brat tamer! steve, rough sex, face fucking, blowjobs, oral f!receiving, unprotected sex, creampie, manhandling, good cop bad cop type beat, sir kink, dash of officer kink, use of cuffs, light slapping, degrading, denied orgasms, sprinkle of edging, unspecified age gap, references to anal but no actual anal, (sorry to my anal enjoyers), bisexual coded javi and steve ;3

a visual, for your viewing pleasure ;)

TRIGGER WARNINGS : dubcon (power imbalance), steve is a big ol meanie ;((, implied of infidelity, (?) if there's anything i missed pls lmk!!

a/n : once again need to state i am not caught up on narcos, my spanish is non-existent, timelines might b wonky, and idk if connie and steve get back together, but in this they're separated lolz, anyways pls enjoy!! <3

his hand feels warm when he rests it over your thigh, curling his fingers over your skin, rubbing his large palm back and forth. “can i get you something to drink?” he asks softly, keeping his words hushed and gentle. 

you stare blankly ahead, nodding. he pats your thigh, rising from the couch before he disappears into his kitchen. 

when he returns, he bends down in front of you, squatting just beneath your eye level, taking your hand in his. your eyes slowly drag down to him, watching as he molds your hand around the glass for you, running his fingers across your knuckles before his touch migrates to your chin, holding it with care. 

“you’re okay.” he promises, and he looks like he means it, but you don’t believe it despite wishing with your entire being that his words were the truth. “javi, if they find out i’ve been telling you all this–” he unclenches your grip around the glass, setting it down on his coffee table and replacing it with his hand. his fingers lace with yours, allowing you to squeeze him instead. 

“they’re not gonna find out. you’re staying with me for now, and i’ll work something out at the embassy, we’ll get you out of here, for good.” he murmurs, his words smooth and calm, caressing around the shell of your ears, trying his best to coax you out of the numb, scared state you’ve dwindled down into. 

“what’s the use of leaving colombia if they’ll just find me in america?” your words tremble from your unsteady lips, and he sighs, leaning in to cup your cheek, his thumb brushing over your cheekbone. 

he kisses your forehead, trailing down to press his lips down the slope of your nose, stopping just before his lips meet your own. “they won’t find you, you have my word.” he forms his oath to you in a quiet breath, his words falling to your lips. you take them in, trying your best to let them resonate, in hopes that you’ll believe it. 

you tilt your head upwards, just enough to reach the curve of his lips. you press them to yours, leaning in closer towards him, wishing you could just fall into him. 

he’s quick to reciprocate, quick to catch you. he holds your cheeks in his hands, cradling you into him. your lips click and connect, the sound of your lips together, his warmth, the way he feels a part of you in this moment settles your swirling nerves back into a complacent, dormant state. 

you hum a content sigh in his mouth, your shoulders dropping relaxedly when he kisses you deeply, letting you pour yourself into him. he’ll drink your worries, your fears, your anything into him, he’ll take it all from you if you allow him to. 

if javi is anything, he’s consistent. consistent in always being the place you can go to forget about the whirlwind of shit you’re in. granted it’s temporary, but most good things tend to be. 

the door pushes open and you gasp, jerking back from javier, instinctively moving behind him. he rushes to guard you, angling his body in front of yours. his shoulders droop with a sudden irritated deflation, huffing in annoyance while he watches his partner walk in, eyes following his casual movements as if he didn’t just give you an actual heart attack. 

the tall blonde man drops his coat on the table, shutting the door with a push of his heel against the white wood.

he drags a tired hand down his cheek before he turns to eye you two suspiciously, well you suspiciously. “yeah sure why not,” javier shrugs, holding your knees towards him, keeping you still with his hand under your lap. “make yourself at home.” he mutters while steve paces over to your sitting figures. 

you look up at him silently, his glare is fast to land on you. “oh yeah because i’m interrupting something super important here right?” he flicks a brow, scoffing when he loosens his tie. 

“yeah actually,” javier nods, and steve rolls his eyes, his hands falling to his hips, looking down at you like an unbelieving teacher ready to scold his most troublesome students. “alright, what’s she doin’ here then, y’know, besides the shit you usually do with your ‘informants’?” you glare back at him, not understanding why he always seems to have a general distaste for your presence. 

“she just gave me information we couldn’t beat out of someone,” and steve nods, his fingers rubbing at his stubble, tongue in his cheek, nodding with faux assurance. “uh huh. and what would that be?” 

“she knows the route escobar’s gonna be using to his next hide out. she knows who’s accompanying him, she knows the times–steve,” his warmth leaves you when he stands to match his partner’s stature. “she’s got a shit ton of valuable info here, so why don’t you ease up on her?” 

steve purses his lips, turning his gaze on you, and suddenly it feels like a spotlight is burning through your skin. “and how in the hell does pablo escobar’s maid know all this?” 

“walls are thin. i hear them downstairs while i clean the upstairs, sound travels up the pipes in the bathrooms, it’s not impossible to listen in.” your explanations fall on uncaring ears, he’s already shaking his head. 

“i don’t believe her. too convenient, and i doubt his men are that stupid to talk that loudly about their plans in front of the help,” he tilts his head at you, emphasizing when he says the help, and now it’s your turn to stand. 

“fuck you,” you spit, surprising yourself when the words come out. javier moves in between you two when steve stalks towards you with a hard glare and a mouth fired and ready to remind you of your place. 

“hey,” javier calls his attention back, steve’s eyes begrudgingly leaves your’s before he turns them back to his partner. 

“if you trust me, you trust her.” he reminds and steve sighs longly, carding a hand through his hair. “also,” javier eyes over steve’s disheveled figure before looking back at him. “why’re you here?” 

he drops down onto the chair beside the couch, legs spread, head rolled back against the cushion, his hand rubbing over his forehead. “connie. she wants an official separation.” your eyes widen in fake shock, shaking your head and looking away while he talks. “makes sense,” you mutter under your breath, somewhat satiating the hatefulness you want to spew at him. 

“i’m sorry,” javier sighs, juxtaposing your unsympathetic reaction with a concerned one, coming over to press a hand to his shoulder. “we can talk about the routes tomorrow, we still have time. did you wanna…talk about it?” steve shakes his head, and you want to roll your eyes, praying javier sends him back home soon. 

“no, it’s alright jav, just came by to see if you wanted to grab a drink but,” he’s looking at you again. “i see you’re busy.” javier smooths over his mustache, sighing quietly when he glances at you. 

he wouldn’t mind going out with steve to some bar for a few hours, he can see the visible pain on his friend’s face, but your life is higher on his list of priorities, and he can’t get himself to leave you alone. 

“i’m sorry murphy,” javier starts but steve shakes his head, holding a hand up to pause his apologies. “nah don’t be, i’ll get uh, outta your hair.” he gets up to leave and you feel like leaping into the air at your sweet success. 

but javier cuts your joy short, immediately ejecting you from off of cloud nine when he stops steve from leaving. 

he swipes the dust off his watch, checking the time before he looks over to steve. “look, it’s getting kinda late, why don’t you crash on my couch tonight? you can help yourself to the fridge, but i’m sure you’d raid it with or without my permission.” javi’s lip curls in tune with his joke and steve chuckles, easing away from his stress for the moment. 

“yeah,” steve exhales, rubbing his knuckles under his eyebags. “alright,” he agrees. 

javier nods, rustling steve’s shoulders with a grin. “i’ll grab you somethin’ you can sleep in, and y’know where the bathrooms at for when you wanna change.” 

“thanks jav,” he calls out after him when he walks away, and you expel a breath of quiet annoyance, plopping down into the seat in front of steve. 

he eyes you up and down, and you pull your legs together, resting your elbows on your knees, avoiding eye contact with him at all costs. 

you hate him, you’ve never been more sure. 

__ 

there’s multiple reasons why steve isn’t particularly fond of you. most reasons are arguably just his own projections. none of them are all that valid or have anything to do with the things you actually are responsible for. 

for one, he doesn’t trust you. but someone else seems to. and to be fair, javi is a smart man who trusts those deserving of it, no disputing that. 

however. 

women are his weak spot, and if he were to get taken advantage of, it’d probably be by one. and he can’t shake the feeling that you’re doing just that. 

maybe the information you give them is real, but then you could also be going off and warning escobar and his sicarios as soon as you get back to them, forever sending him and javier down an endless wild goose chase. 

but then again, you do seem to be honest and genuine — at least your fear is when you stress how they cannot find out that you’re the rat amongst them. 

that seems real. 

and steve knows he shouldn't let that be why he treats you as rudely as he does. he additionally acknowledges the fact that you always smelling so annoyingly good that he can smell you before you even enter the room, is also not a valid reason to dislike you. 

except, this? 

this is a new, more realistic reason to not like you, he thinks. 

you’re fucking loud. 

he can hear your goddamn moaning through the thin wall separating javier’s bedroom and the couch he’s currently laying on. he’s starting to think there’s a chance you weren’t lying about hearing escobar’s plans through the walls while you cleaned. 

he tosses and turns on the couch, trying to use the pillow javier gave him to muffle the sounds but god, it’s like you’re determined to make steve hear you. 

all he can hear is your moans, your whiny mewls for javi, jaaavi, and he can hear his godforsaken partner, who he might request to be changed after this, groan your name, telling you how good you are, how perfect you are, calling you his hermosa — and it’s driving him crazy. in his descent into a sleepless delirium he begins to genuinely wish his hearing would go out, just for the night. 

__

“what do you want?” javier breathed above you, your thighs on either side of his leg. his knee pushing right up against you there, teasing your clit. 

you swallowed hard through heavy breaths, hands coming up to run down his jaw, your fingers brushing along his stubble. “i just wanna forget about what’s going on,” you responded, a sense of pleading under your breath while you spoke. 

he kissed you, trickling his lips down your neck and chest. “puedo distraerte,” he murmured, his hands pulling your sweater over your tummy, replacing the wool with his lips. 

his mouth was hot, and eager to latch over your clothed cunt, his tongue swirling around your clit, pulling a drawn out cry from amidst your bitten lips. 

it’s been 30 minutes? an hour? an eternity? and you two are still at it from when that all started, and steve thinks he’ll die, in fact, he hopes he does. he’s lost connie, his kid, and now his sanity from hearing his partner fuck his 100th ‘informant’ just a wall away from him. 

“oh my god!” you squeal, and nope, that’s it, he can’t do this. 

he rips the blanket off his body, his sock covered feet landing on the carpet, carrying his haggard, exhausted, irritated, body to the bedroom. 

he pushes open the door, cringing when you yell, avoiding looking at you while you grab the sheets to cover yourself. “steve what the fuck?” you shout, and javier huffs, lifting the sheets from off his head, moving away from the place between your thighs. 

“do you fucking need something?” javier grits, and steve folds his arms over his chest, clenching his jaw when he sees your bodies shine with a sheen coat of sweat from the moonlight peeking in. he clears his throat, forcing himself to maintain eye contact with javier. 

“i need you guys to shut the fuck up, that’s what i need. ‘been hearin’ you two all night, i can’t sleep.” he sneers, and javier scoffs, his eyes landing on the bulge steve is sporting behind the borrowed pair of sweats, feeling smug in place of embarrassment. 

“yeah, i’m sure that’s why you can’t sleep.” he tilts his head downward toward his crotch, and steve grows hot, standing up straight when he grinds down on his bottom teeth. 

javier sighs to himself, eyes glancing over steve, then panning to you beside him before he speaks again. “i don’t usually share but, i can make an exception tonight. only ‘cause you’ve got shit goin’ on.” javier shrugs, and both you and steve gape at him 

“what?” you smack javier’s arm, feeling your face get hot at the mere idea of such a suggestion. 

“stop playing around and just kick him out,” you whisper yell, but steve’s way ahead of you, already turning on his heel, wondering if he’ll be able to hail a cab this late at night. 

“m’not kidding. steve, i’m serious,” he calls out, halting steve mid step. he turns back around slowly, facing you both now. 

javier leans down, resting his chin on your neck, holding your arms in his hands. “steve’s handsome baby, don’t you think?” he whispers, his fingers trailing up and down your arms. your breath picks up when you really look over at steve. 

he’s good looking, in fact, that was the first thought you had when you met him, but it all quickly went away when he began being rude to you. 

and despite that, you find yourself giving in, nodding meekly. steve’s chest gets tight when you agree, his cock betraying him and twitching behind his shallow confinements. “steve, she’s pretty isn’t she?” he says temptingly, his voice a deep, rich siren song that pulls both you and steve right into his grasp. 

steve’s jaw wants to lock on itself before he can say something he can’t take back, but it's too late, his logic and reason is slowly depleting from him just like the air in his lungs the more his eyes flicker between you and javier. 

“yeah,” he croaks, and a ghost of a smile graces over your lips when he admits to your attractiveness. “you wanna show him how pretty you are quierda?” he whispers in your ear, and you nod a hypnotized yes, allowing him to hook his fingers under the sheets, slowly pulling it down to reveal your bare chest. 

steve gets weak, his cock throbbing painfully in his boxers, he’s sure you can see it now, but he’d rather you feel it instead. 

he wants to let his hand drift down to his cock, to ease the strain he feels but no, he won’t give in, he won’t seem weak, not in front of you, and definitely not in front of javier. he’d never hear the end of it. 

he closes the door behind him and your heart picks up, clenching the bedspread beneath you when he starts to move in towards you both, eyes pointed at you like a hawk. 

he forces your gaze on him, his finger under your chin, craning your neck upwards. his eyes bounce into yours and you feel small under his hold and stare, struggling to maintain the downward look he’s shooting your way. it lays over you heavily. 

he pushes his thumb between your lips, watching you suck on it, teeth grazing the tip, a semblance of a smirk curling at the corners of your mouth when you stare back up at him. 

steve already feels debilitated and he hasn’t even touched you yet. he doesn’t like that. he refuses to let you have this much control over him. 

he’s going to make sure you stay in your place. 

“alright.” he breathes out, pulling his thumb from you, turning to look at javier. “she listen well?” and you roll your eyes, scoffing quietly when you lean back into your preferred agent of the two. 

“‘course she does,” he says proudly, rubbing your arm affectionately, sending a fluttery feeling to your lower stomach at the praise. 

“think you can listen to me?” he murmurs to you when he leans down to your level, knees dipping into the mattress. you test the waters, eyeing him while he inches in closer, slowly erasing the space between you two breath by breath. 

“what if i don’t feel like it?” you ask, words quiet amidst the air betwixt both your parted mouths. he chuckles something dark under his breath, eyes flickering from your lips back to your eyes. “if you wanna cum tonight i think you’ll listen to me.” 

your breathing pauses in your throat at his statement, and you have no witty response to shoot back. you’re quiet. 

finally, steve thinks, lightly snickering when you respond with nothing. 

javier shifts around, sitting upwards and leaning into steve’s ear. “she likes it when you touch her like this, f’you wanna give her a reason to listen, do this.” he whispers, before moving back down to where you rest in his bed. 

steve watches as javier moves the sheets, exposing your bare lower half. steve exhales sharply when his eyes focus on you, scanning the sight laid out for him. 

you feel shy, your body being feasted on hungrily by the wandering eyes of two men who want nothing more than to devour you. 

javier’s hand makes its way to your thigh, running the palm up and down slowly. “part your legs for me, quierda,” he says softly, and you do as he says, spreading yourself for both of them to see. 

his fingers trace over your clit, running circles over it, keeping the pressure tight, focused, right where you need it to be. your breath picks up, your hand tightens around his wrist, your eyes falling shut at his touch. 

steve stares at the way javier unravels you, taking his time to make you feel good. he knows what he’s doing, and he’s impressed by what he sees. 

he wonders if you’d react the same way if it were his fingers. he wants to find out. 

steve gets closer, he brings his middle finger to your lips, and you take him in with no need for verbal instructions, your tongue swirling around the digit while you push your hips onto javier’s fingers. 

he slips it from out your lips, bringing it down to your cunt. 

he breaches your entrance, dipping into you, and you gasp, eyes opening wide when you feel his finger, long, and thick, traveling into you, joining javier in the ministrations on your cunt. 

you feel spoiled, with javier kissing your neck, whispering about how wet you are, and steve, his face just a single pull of air away from your’s while he curls his finger right where you crave to be touched. 

his lips just barely brush your skin, occasionally gracing over your parted mouth when your head turns side to side from the steadily increasing pleasure that burns your skin. 

you feel too proud to ask for a kiss, instead you try leaning into him, but he moves back just a little when you do. if you want something, you ask for it. 

“steve,” you whisper breathlessly, chest heaving, pebbled nipples poking him through his white t shirt. “what?” he asks, and javier peers over at you two, feeling his cock twitch when he glances down, sight joining the sound of your soaked cunt taking their fingers. 

you swallow away your pride piece by piece, it’s a painful feat but the rising need inside you is starting to override it. 

“kiss me? please?” you hushedly plead with him, praying he obliges. javier sponges kisses across your shoulder while steve eyes you for a moment, visually tracing the curve of your lips, feeling a pair of hands restrain him away from taking your lips into his own. he wants to, but fuck, connie. 

“gonna keep her waiting?” rings through his ears  from javier, and he breaks from his trance, realizing that he’s already in too deep, connie’s gone, and kissing you won’t change that. 

he lurches forward, kissing you hard, almost angrily. you nearly topple backward, but javier’s right there, he’s got you. 

you whimper into his mouth, struggling to keep up with the way he moves against you. your hand strokes the strong arm belonging to javier, the other coming up to cup steve’s jaw. 

his hand, big and strong, comes to your throat, keeping you in your place when he kisses you.  

his teeth ghosts a bite on your bottom lip, his tongue running across it to smooth the tinge of pain away before it travels into your mouth, tasting the hint of something sweet on your tongue. 

he groans in your mouth, the sound pulling a shiver from the depths of your spine. “make him feel good, quierda,” javier whispers, his lips grazing the shell of your ear, his mustache tickling your sensitive skin. 

you nod mindlessly, silencing the whine that begs to come out when they shift away from you, withdrawing their hands from between your thighs. 

you lean forward towards steve, fingers hooking under his sweatpants nervously while javier moves behind you, his warm hands panning over the curve of your ass, one of his favorite sights. 

steve stares you down while you tug down the sweats along with the plaid boxers that rest on his hips, his lips curling up at the way your mouth falls when his cock springs up, hard, his flushed pink tip glistening with precum. 

he’s just slightly longer than javier, cock not having as much girth as him but in no way, shape, or form, are either men small. 

this is going to be quite the exploit. 

“gonna stare at it or are you gonna suck it?” he half scoffs, hand traveling behind your neck, and you glare up at him from under your eyelashes, lowering yourself down to him. “just remembered why i don’t like you,” you grumble, your complaining cut short when you feel javier’s tongue back on your clit. 

you whine, pushing back on his face when you sink your mouth down onto steve’s cock. 

he hisses upon immediate contact, your mouth is hot, wet, perfect. 

your moans vibrate around his cock from the way javier’s tasting you, his fingers pushing deep into your fluttering hole. he palms himself, running his thumb over his leaking tip when he peers over and watches the way you take his partner’s dick into your mouth. 

you bob your head, rising up only to sink downward, eyes squeezing shut, trying your best to take as much of him in your mouth as you can but his length is not making it easy on you. 

your tongue runs along the base of him, coming around to swirl over his tip when your lips encase it. he groans, head falling forward, eyes lowering beneath the bush of his brows at you. 

javier can’t take it anymore, your little whimpers eliciting from the flick of his tongue, the way your hole squeezes around nothing, just begging to be filled, and the slick sound coming from your mouth when you suck over steve’s tip is too much, he needs you. 

he rests back on his knees, aligning himself with your entrance before he pushes in, feeling a heavy sense of pride settle into his chest when you let out a drawn out moan of his name. 

you slide your lips off of steve’s cock, replacing it with your hand when you turn over your shoulder to watch him put it in. “javi,” you croon through a tearful moan, eyebrows strung in an earnest curl. 

he runs his thumb across your bottom lip when he’s fully inside you, a look of adoration screwed with pleasure casting over his face. 

but steve’s hand is guiding your attention back to him, javi has enough of it anyways, and he’s pulling your jaw back onto him. 

it’s hard to focus on trying to keep your pace and rhythm on steve’s cock when javier’s fucking you with everything he’s got, his cock nudging deep inside you, filling you out so good it makes your eyes roll back. 

steve almost feels a little jealous, feeling like he deserves the same amount of acknowledgement you give javier. he holds you by the back of your head, making you give him more attention. 

you gag, sliding off his cock, resting on your palms, jerking forward into his hips from javier’s thrusts, struggling to catch your breath. “uh uh,” he shakes his head, pushing you back down. “not gonna let you stop ‘til you suck it right sweetheart,” he mutters, and your face gets hot, ashamed at how his orders make you clamp down around javier’s cock. 

javier groans at the way you’re gripping him, and he leans forward, pushing in even deeper, feeling pride fill him once more when you whine around steve’s cock. 

“don’t be too rough with her,” he grunts, semi opposing his own words, rolling his hips in unbearably deeper, abusing the sensitive spongy spot inside you with the fat head of his cock. 

steve dryly laughs, tilting his head at his partner before glancing down at you working him down your throat, eager to please him, eager to finally earn some praise from him. 

“looks like can handle it. in fact, i think she likes it,” steve proves his point, pushing his hips in deeper, and you gag, but you tighten around javier at the force of action and he exhales humorously, pursing his lips. 

he bends down, kissing your shoulder blade. “quierda, quierda, taking us both so well,” his voice careens around you like the drag of his palm over your skin. 

“s’right, take it,” steve murmurs, his hand just behind your jaw, thumb running across the tears that stream down your cheek. 

your eyes shutter closed, body content with being filled front to back so wholly, the men who occupy you grunting with primal approval. 

javier’s fingers inch over your clit, rubbing the little soaked button as a reward, and you cry around steve’s cock, hands gripping tighter onto the sheets at the stimulation. the way his cock prods into you, paired with the swirl of the pads of his fingers over your clit feels earth shattering. 

steve’s eyes drift over to javier, his broad shoulders adorned in scratches from presumably you, the downward pull of your nails across his skin was probably created moments before he came into the bedroom. his cock twitches inside your mouth at the thought.

javier’s eyebrows are pulled together, eyes narrowed down at your body, hips pulling back only to ram back into you at full force with a certain precision that has you crying around steve’s cock. 

he’s fucking you like it’s the last thing he’ll ever do and steve can’t help but watch. 

his thrusts pick up speed inside your mouth, the itch you’re satiating just grows and grows and he can’t stop chasing the relief you provide him. 

javier’s gaze that follows the way you bounce from each thrust he pounds into you shifts into an upward stare back to steve’s intent eyes, and he exhales heavily, jaw clenching tightly. 

the men watch each other, the sound of your moans and gagging mixed with their low and thick grunts and groans is something that will float back into your minds when you all separate, forever haunting you in the wake of silent moments. 

steve finds his eyes landing over javier’s lips, watching the way his tongue darts out and drags across his bottom lip and he swallows back the thick groan that wants to leave. 

he falls forward, his cock pushing in deeper between your lips, his head resting on javier’s shoulder while he grinds into your mouth. 

he inches his hips back, keeping his cock down your throat but still allowing you some leeway to pull off for air while he finds refuge on the broad expanse of javier’s shoulder. 

their shared groans of your name fall into each other’s mouths and you whimper, pushing your ass onto javier, mouth sucking around steve fervently, desperate to please both men. 

steve’s mouth drops open when you suction your lips around the head of his cock, teasing him with the fat stripe of your tongue and he shivers, his teeth baring down against javier’s flesh. 

he winces at the pain, but he likes it, he accepts it, welcomes it. 

“she feel good?” steve drones in a low groan, and javier holds your hips, pulling you all the way down on his cock, making eye contact with steve when your sobs rack around his cock, watching the way his eyes screw shut. “feels amazing, squeezin’ me so good,” he grunts, his hand coming down to lay a hard smack over the fat of your ass. 

you yelp at the rough affection, the little squeaking sound coming out muffled from the activity currently preoccupying your mouth, prompting a cocky breathless chuckle from steve when he leans back, eyes falling over your pretty face. 

“if i knew she could put this mouth to use other than runnin’ it i would’ve had her on her knees sooner,” he relents airlessly, heavy pants leaving past his lips. javier laughs hazily, leaning in, his cock shoving itself deeper inside you while his hips mold over your’s like broken pieces reconnecting.  

his hand wraps around your throat, lips sponged gently to your ear. “i think steve just paid you a compliment, hermosa,” 

you look up at steve, doe eyed with long wet lashes, blinking appreciatively, feeling warm all over when he taps your cheek with his palm, not hard, but not gentle either. you take whatever you can from him. 

steve rolls his head back up to javier, twirling his finger to the side, motioning for the pair to switch. he wants a turn inside you. 

“why don’t you ask me nicely?” he says through a soft gruff breath, leaning in closer to his face, his hips clasping tightly over yours, his cock burying itself so far in your cunt it burrows in your tummy. 

you whine around steve’s cock, his hand coming to the back of your head to pacify you while he scoffs at javier. 

“‘scuse me?” 

“i said, why don’t you ask me. nicely?” javier repeats, his head tilting to the side. 

asshole. 

steve’s jaw hinges forward with irritation, his eyes falling down to where your ass and javier’s hips meet, his chest settling into a deep pit of desire, slowly plucking away his inhibitions of trying to seem like he’s in control. 

“please,” his voice shakes a little, the desperate plea beneath his hushed words. 

javier’s brow flicks up, lips pursing with satisfaction and he pauses inside you, prompting your swollen lips to roll from off steve’s cock, turning into a disappointed pout when you look at him from behind your shoulder. 

“what’s wrong?” you rasp, and steve takes in his bottom lip, his top lip perking in smugness at your voice. 

“are you okay with us…switching?” javier asks, running his hand along your hip softly. the nerves in your tummy tighten like the strings on a corset, sucking you in and stealing your breath at the thought of him fucking you. 

you turn back to look at steve, before you’re swallowing away your pride, nodding in agreement. 

a grin spreads across his face, and he pats your cheek, whistling when he twists his finger in the air once more. “get over here an’ turn around for me,” 

your eyes start to roll at his orders, the action cut short when the loss from javier makes you wince. “yessir officer sir,” you joke dryly through a breath, a part of you not wanting to let on how excited you really were for this. 

steve’s cock twitches at your joking, unaware of how much he really liked that. 

javier lays further into the bed, arm behind his head while he watches you crawl towards him. an excited glint shines for a passing second in his eyes when he watches the way steve stares down your every movement, eyes following each and every little sway your ass makes before him. 

your hands rest on javier’s thighs before they’re slipping off him, panickedly grasping for the mattress when steve’s pushing you into the bed, shoving your face beside javier’s knee and hoisting your ass up for him. 

he breathes out a heavy, content sigh when his palms encase your ass, your glistening cunt just weeping for him. 

it’s steve’s turn to be greeted by your face craned behind your shoulder, cute little features contorted in a curious pleasure, eyebrows pulled together, bitten lips pouted while he cocks his head at you. 

he grabs your wrists, letting your cheek shift and fall to javier’s thigh. 

javier graces his hand behind your neck soothingly, silently making up for his partner’s rough actions. 

steve’s cock grazes against your cunt and you shiver, feeling him press up onto you, his hips flush to your ass while he wrangles your wrists together. “hands behind your back, hermosa.” his mustache tickles at your ear, your lips trembling against the hot skin of javier’s thigh. he taunts you with the pet name, reminding you he’s heard your pathetic mewls and moans you so graciously gave to javi. 

it was his turn to earn some of that graciousness. 

“s’bout time you show me some goddamn respect,” he mutters in your ear, flicking his head up towards javier who’s watching intently, his cock aching at the sight. 

“you got your cuffs?” he asks and your back stiffens. 

uh oh. 

javier’s lips curl evilly and he chuckles below a breath, shaking his head in disbelief. “yeah. need ‘em?” he responds knowingly and you crane your neck up at him, eyes peering at him pitifully. 

javier purses his lips at you with faux sympathy, running his thumb across your lips before he’s looking back at steve for confirmation. 

steve nods and javier doesn’t argue. 

he opens the first drawer on the nightstand beside his bed, his hand returning with a pair of silver handcuffs. 

he tosses them to steve and he catches it dutifully, unlatching them before he puts them around your wrists, seconds away from locking the cold metallic constraints tight and in place. 

you’re turning back to look at steve, imploring with him desperately to not use the cuffs on you. “no no please, sir i don’t want the cuffs,” you whimper against the flesh of javier’s thigh, your sounds traveling straight to his cock. 

steve didn’t even have to tell you to keep calling him sir, you barely even realize what you’re saying at this point, it all just feels like babble coming mindlessly from out your bitten lips. 

steve’s throat gets tight at your pleas, the title of respect you’ve given him without even realizing what you’ve said makes his cock throb against your soaked cunt, itching to just push inside you. 

“too bad. you can earn your way outta them.” he offers, running his hand across the curve of your ass before he speaks again. 

“you’re gonna be fuckin’ good for me like you were for him, you hear me?” he orders, the air in his words thick with authority. you nod feebly and he smacks your ass, the sheer force from his hand pushing you further onto javier’s lap. you cry out, the pain vibrating through your flesh. 

before you have time to speak or think or breathe, he shoves himself inside you, no resistance from your needy, drenched hole. he groans when he forces himself in all the way, your cries from his cock floats around in the thick air like music to his ears. 

you lower your mouth down onto javier’s cock, trying to busy your mind away from the intense feeling of being rocked forward endlessly by the fluid motions of steve shoving his cock into you. 

he’s fucking the length of his cock in your little hole, molding your cunt to the extent of it. his cockhead kisses your cervix with each rough thrust he impales you with. 

javier’s head rolls back when your tongue curls around his shaft the way he likes, the tip of it running along a vein of his, his breathing starting to falter all over again. 

it’s harder sucking javier like this, you can’t rely on your hands to please what you can’t reach, your drool dribbles down the base of his cock, the place where your hands would normally be, but javier doesn’t mind, he could almost kiss steve for giving him the gift of watching you struggle and gag around his cock like this, drooling like a fucked out slut. 

steve’s lost in his own physical realm of pleasure where nothing exists except for his cock burrowed in the wet tunnel of your cunt, his cock head ramming into your sweet cervix uncaringly, cruelly. 

he relishes with his head fallen forward at the way your sobs come out muffledly from the sound of his partner’s cock down your throat, because of him. it’s because of his cock you’re crying out like this. 

his blonde hair falls limp with sweat in his eyes, but he doesn’t mind it, his lids fall heavy with blinding pleasure, his hand pressing you down by your lower back, forcing you to arch further on his cock. 

the two men find endless pleasure with you, you’re the gift that keeps on giving, and they will happily keep on taking. 

javier’s head rolls towards you, chin resting low while he stares down your bobbing head that struggles to fully lower down onto him. 

but it’s just so cute the way you struggle, he loves watching you try to be so good for him and take him as far as you can into your mouth. 

you’re definitely his sweetest informant to date. 

“fuck,” he breathes out, the crown of his head falling back to his headboard, your suctioning lips sucking the head of his cock too well, that it makes him feel lightheaded. 

his hands, on the edge of callousing, come over the curve of your ass, gripping the fat of it, pulling you apart to sneakily look at your little hole, feeling his cock throb inside you when he imagines the other things he’d like to do to you. 

the things connie would never allow, which is okay, he respected that. 

but you? 

he’s sure you’d do just about anything he or javier asked of you. and he’s willing to bet with enough sweet words from javier and sternness from himself, they could get you right where he wanted you. 

he tilts his head, rolling his hips into you deep and hard, enjoying every little jolt forward you make onto javier’s cock while he thumbs over your hole, wondering if maybe you’d let him have you that way next time. 

fuck. 

will there be a next time? 

he really, really hopes so. 

you shiver when you feel his thumb swipe over that part of yourself, mouth sliding off javier’s cock to catch your breath and shut your eyes at the feeling. 

javier’s cupping your face, a sharp exhale from his nose replacing whatever jumble he was about to say when your tongue flicks over his tip, enveloping him down your throat once more. 

steve’s leaning over your body, his cock traveling in too far inside you, naturally pulling a drawn out cry from around javier’s cock. javier pants, head falling back at the vibrations between his thighs. 

“fuckin’ tight,” steve groans, his forehead resting on your shoulder, forcing himself to keep his eyes open to peer up at javier. 

his brown hair has fallen damp just under his eyebrows, tickling his lashes, his mouth is drawn open, wispy murmurs of your name pouring out like a chant amidst a ritual, holy and sacred. 

“for a whore,” steve adds, and javier chuckles through a breathy moan, the way you clamp down around his cock at his comments is not lost on him. his fingers find your clit, and you tense, your back immediately falling into a deeper arch, desperate to feel more of him. 

you come up for air, needing a break from the soreness trickling along your jaw, your gaze now ascending towards javier, looking up at him with big watery eyes. you instinctively leaning into his warm palm that comes to cradle your face while your stare lingers over him.. “i’m so close,” you whimper and just like that, steve’s fingers withdraw from your clit and instead go back into digging into the plump flesh around your hips. 

javier looks up at steve, joining you in your confused stare. “steve please,” you plead, struggling to look at him through the rough jolts from his hard thrusts. “c’mon,” javier’s honeyed tone calls his attention and steve looks over at him, tilting his head. “i don’t think she’s earned it,” he looks back down at you, brings his lips to your ear and grows smug when you cry out from the way his cock intrudes into you even deeper. “if you wanna cum you better work for it. girl.” 

javier’s cock twitches in your grasp at the way steve talks to you, and you’re just about pulsing around him, eager to prove you deserve to cum, you’re hungry for it. 

your mouth is back on javier, watching the way his eyes screw shut and his brows furrow once more when your tongue drags all around him, trying to also greedily take in as much of steve as you can, pushing onto him, wanting nothing more than to be fully enveloped by him. 

his fingers tease your clit, gracing you with fleeting touches that make your skin prickle over into a fiery heat only for it to be immediately extinguished when he pulls them away. you’re trying your hardest to continue to make javier feel good, and your efforts are definitely not for nothing. his breathing grows more staggered, his thrusts into your mouth lose their pattern, he’s holding you by the back of your neck, forcing himself to lean forward and watch you take his cock down your throat. 

“fuck, fuck, take it, take it yeah, shit,” he pants, fucking your jaw through his orgasm, his hips hitting your chin with every rough piston he makes. you’re squeezing your teary eyes shut, trying to take both him and steve abusing your holes the best way you can. 

he slides his cock out from your lips, gently wiping away your sweaty forehead while you fight to catch your breath. each gasp of air is pulled away from you by the rough impaling by steve’s cock that hits you deep over and over. 

“did so good for me querida,” he whispers to you softly, juxtaposing the way you’re getting fucked by his partner. you just whimper at his praises, wriggling your hands around in your cuffs. javier doesn’t ask steve before he acts, he just grabs the keys and unlocks you, feeling slight guilt when you wince and sigh in relief when you’re finally free from your constraints. 

steve glares at javier and he ignores it, rubbing your wrists soothingly while steve slows his thrusts. 

you almost panic, worried he won’t let you cum at all now, you bring wrists behind your back once more for him, and the purest and most intense form of pride blooms in the depths of his chest at your little actions. he grips your wrists together in one hand, making eye contact with javier while he speeds up his thrusts inside your soaked cunt. 

javier’s spent cock throbs and he swallows hard, his chest rising and falling heavily. “sweet isn’t she?” javier utters, watching the way steve’s hips pull and push into your’s. with a side perk of his lips he shrugs, running his free hand over the curve of your ass. “yeah. when she feels like it.” 

javier chuckles, bringing his fingers to your clit, keeping the pads of his digits still. you look at him, wordlessly pleading with him to override steve’s rules and let you cum. “you make him feel good quierda, an’ i’ll make sure you get what you want.” and with a kiss to your forehead, that’s all you’re left with. 

he drinks in your moans, his lips falling to yours, keeping your face tucked into his palms while steve chases his orgasm inside you. he’s lost in you, you’re all encompassing, the way you’re gripping onto him, your cries for him getting drowned out in javier’s mouth – fuck, you’re too much. 

you break apart from javier’s lips, unable to keep going like this without cumming. after all, you were never the patient type to begin with. “please steve, feel’s so good, i need to cum, please let me, promise m’gonna be so good,” you’re near tears, ready to beg and plead with steve for however long it takes. javier looks at him along with you, his cheek resting on your forehead. “let her,” javier orders instead of suggesting, and steve doesn’t have it in him to argue or deny you any longer. 

his fingers inch over your clit, rubbing the sticky little button in the way you need, and you sob in relief, your cheek falling onto the mattress, letting your body be overtaken by the older man, your fingers intertwining with his while he pounds your orgasm into you. “thank you thank you thank you,” you cry through a series of shaky drawn out moans. you gush around him, panting loudly, losing all the air in the room while you cum. your body feels like it’s going to explode and honestly, it just might. 

steve assaults every single sensitive spot inside your body, his fingers on your clit staying put, your legs in return turning into jello, trembling hard with erratic shakes. 

“bet y’don’t think i’m that bad now huh?” he whispers in your ear, and you shake your head dumbly, resting your head on javier’s lap while steve continues to fuck you through your orgasm. 

he’s getting sloppy, he’s close, he can feel it. “i wanna cum in you, jus’ like this, gonna let me? as a lil’ thanks baby?” he grunts and javier runs his finger across your cheek, lowering his voice towards you. “gonna let him querida?” 

your words barely find you, all you can feel is steve’s cock buried deep in your tummy, words don’t even seem real in this moment. “cum in me,” you manage to murmur, your sore clit tingling at the thought of his cum pouring out of you. 

steve didn’t need to hear anything else, your meek words of permission played on a loop inside his head while he holds on tighter onto your hips, pulling you down on his cock, his hot cum spurting deep inside you. he groans, his head falling back, mindless utterances of how good your fuckin’ pussy feels, dissipates into the thick air. 

he pushes in a few more thrusts until his cock softens, and he tucks himself away into his boxers. he eyes your spent, sweat coated body before he lays down beside you. javier pulls the sheets over your bodies, letting you bury your face into his chest. steve gets stiff, is he overstaying his welcome?

you seem to read his mind, because you’re pulling his arm around your side, keeping him close to you. he smiles to himself, and clasps his front around your back, glancing up at a pleased looking javier. 

javier winks at steve before his attention returns back to you. “you okay querida? feel alright?” he asks gently, and you nod sleepily in his arms, yawning tiredly. “mhm, just really sleepy,” you mumble, and javier shushes you, kissing your hairline. “s’okay, you can rest now.” 

steve kisses your shoulder, surprising himself by the gentleness in his actions. he’s too tired to analyze anything right now, he just lets himself rest beside you. “night murphy.” javier hums and steve chuckles breathlessly. “yeah, night javi.” 

[hms-no-fun]

in your view of things right now, with the political climate so hot coming into the election, and companies doing worse than ever in terms of amassing greed and power and fucking us all over... what do you think has to change to find a way out?

oh boy, what a question. i've got a BA in film studies. i pay my bills by making youtube videos and writing homestuck fanfiction. i am not an authority, i only kind of vaguely know what i'm talking about in any given conversation. but i do think about this question a lot, and i've been wanting an excuse to arrange some of my thoughts on the matter. so, you know, don't take my words here as gospel, or as a coherent platform, or whatever. i'm just a goat with some opinions who hasn't read enough theory but means well.

alright. as a communist my answer is always gonna be "proletarian revolution," but that's an endgoal we're currently nowhere near achieving. the path to getting there is impossible to truly know, because of course revolutions are historically contingent on an organized vanguard being prepared to take control in a moment of national crisis. we don't have a leftist vanguard in this country, haven't done since the FBI and state governments went to war with the Black Panthers. my ideal vision of an effective communist party is one unlike any that currently exists on a large scale in the USA, built by organizing communities to coordinate neighborhood needs, as part of city/county organizations coordinating local needs, as part of state organizations that etc. right now political parties are exclusively focused on electoralism. i want a party that can organize eviction blockades, free community daycare, reading groups, high-capacity cafeterias, and all manner of mutual aid. i want a party that can operate with solidarity, as the Panthers did by supporting the 28 day 504 sit-in that resulted in the passage of the Americans with Disabilities Act. an effective vanguard party interfaces directly with the working class and builds its policy platforms based on their needs with no apology, rather than the acceptable liberal half-measures we've grown so accustomed to.

but it's a loooooooong road to get even that far. and you might say such an organization would be offputting, but like. the Panthers won over a lot of moderates over time because they weren't just out on the streets posturing. they took care of people. we only have free school lunch programs at all because of them. this is the thing that drives me nuts about so many leftists today-- you don't win over a moderate or conservative by debating the merit of their ideas. you help improve the material conditions of their day to day life, thanklessly, as you'd do with everyone in that community, because you cannot adopt means testing by another name without selling off an essential part of yourself. slowly, over time, some of those people will be won over. it'll never be everyone, but it doesn't have to be everyone. it doesn't even have to be a majority. you can get a hell of a lot done with even just 30% of people, especially if those people are even mildly-disciplined members of a well-organized party apparatus.

so, okay, that's my sense of the broad strokes. i want a proletarian revolution by way of a militant vanguard party. not saying this is the ONLY way forward, just the one i think would be most likely to succeed under the right circumstances. but again, we're a million miles away from having a communist vanguard in this country. quite frankly, such a thing feels an impossible pipe dream at this exact historic moment. so the question for me then becomes, how do we create the conditions that would allow for such an organization to emerge, claim power, hold it long enough to build a substantial base, then act on it towards a revolutionary goal?

first you've gotta ask why it's so hard to imagine this fanciful 20th century ass operation today. obvious answers: it's fucking impossible for a third party to gain a foothold in the system as it stands, so let's fix that. ranked choice voting would be a good place to start. i'm no electoralist, but if we're presuming that the revolution isn't happening tomorrow then some element of its foundation must be in making our democracy an actual democracy that can reflect people's needs. repeal citizens united. put HUGE limits on campaign donations and make it harder to conceal donations through super PACs. redistricting is another essential piece of the puzzle-- there is precisely one map of every major usamerican city and it's the map of redlined districts where people of color were not allowed to buy property. look at wealth distribution in communities and it'll map 1 to 1 to historic redlining, guaranteed. we gotta fix gerrymandering, loosen restrictions on poll access (such as the ad hoc poll tax that is government ID requirements), and if we're really feeling frisky push for a mandatory federal voting holiday so that no one has to work on election day (which elections count for "election day" is a whole other quagmire of course). less obvious answers: the cops and the FBI are still imprisoning and murdering black, poc, native, and queer activists in broad daylight. the national prison population is an IMMENSE locus of potential revolutionary energy. some goals on that front: abolish prisons, massively defund the cops, and curtail the surveillance state. restore the convicted felon's right to vote, and otherwise remove the many bureaucratic roadblocks that artificially create the cycle of recidivism. put money into nationwide job training programs (NO PUBLIC-PRIVATE PARTNERSHIPS) not just for ex convicts but for everyone, for reasons we'll get to momentarily.

i focus on electoral reform at the start here because i think it's an illustrative example of just how sprawling the task before us is. my goal isn't to overwhelm you or make you feel doomed because "holy shit that's already a lot of stuff that feels totally impossible and you haven't even mentioned healthcare yet," but to hammer home that the class war is being fought on a million fronts. you will go completely numb if you expect any one person or organization to address all of these issues simultaneously and as soon as possible. in an ideal world, there are many many affinity groups working towards these ends all over the place, either as part of or in solidarity with our imagined vanguard. i'm trying to look at ways to materially improve the lives of people in our political economy as it currently exists, rather than just saying "we need revolution" and leaving it there.

alright then, so what about capitalism? another major factor in the systematic disenfranchisement of the working class is the role corporate employers play in maintaining the class war. nobody has time to participate in local political actions because everyone has to work crushing hours, and when they do have days to themselves they still have to personally drive to wherever things are happening and find parking, instead of grocery shopping, taking care of kids, just fucking relaxing, whatever. obvious answers: medicare for all. right now, healthcare access is tied to employment status unless you are COMICALLY poor (i just got kicked off of medicaid a couple months ago because i now make marginally more than the cutoff, which now means i'm paying $200+ more a month on healthcare and am now way more worried about money than when i was on welfare. what a great and functional system!). if you're afraid of losing your health insurance for any reason, then you are disincentivized from expressing any opinions you might have about the conduct of your employer by, say, quitting. just passing universal healthcare alone would cause some major turmoil in the US economy. invest in mass public transit with rigorous local neighborhood access, and now a hell of a lot more people are empowered to participate in civic duty. less obvious answers: get rid of at-will employment! make it much much harder for employers to fire people, and regulate the ability of corporations to do mass layoffs. this would go a long way towards throwing some wrenches into the methods corps use to invent economic prosperity through the creative application of spreadsheets. on top of that, let's nuke the absolute fuck out of means-testing for programs like food stamps, medicaid, social housing, or literally any other form of "charity" that made Reagan shit his pants.

speaking of means testing, let's talk about bullshit jobs. there are a TON of pointless, degrading, wasteful jobs in this country. corps playing middlemen to middlemen. endless state and business bureaucracy using hundreds of systems that rarely if ever communicate with one another, putting a huge administrative burden on working people while the rich beneficiaries of this exploitation get to launder their guilt through the public-facing punching bags of customer service representatives. too many people work at the office factory. there are a lot of industries that need to be massively curtailed if not outright destroyed, a fact that intersects with the threat of climate change when you include coal and oil jobs. it's not enough to get rid of these positions, you also have to have a plan for those displaced workers-- hence the job training program i mentioned before. if we actually want to see a transition into a more egalitarian society that doesn't run exclusively on fossil fuels, then there needs to be a pipeline that gives purpose to the people whose lives will inevitably be radically altered by the kinds of changes we're talking about. there's an important thing, actually-- we all need to be prepared for this line of questioning and have a good answer in the back pocket. there is no shift from pure capitalism to even lite democratic socialism that won't hurt some cohort of people that doesn't deserve it. unless you want them to fall in with the fascists, you're gonna want to have a plan for how to integrate them into the world you're trying to build.

here's a wildcard for you. a lot of folks are on that "break up the monopolies" grind these days, and i appreciate the sentiment. i also think we would be vastly better served in the long run by simply nationalizing the monopolies. obviously there are plenty of worthwhile concerns to be had about any usamerican government gaining that kind of control over anything at this precise moment, but we cannot let that impede the horizons of our imaginary. i don't want market reform, i want the abolition of markets. the internet should be a public utility and ISPs should be government institutions. tech needs UNENDING regulation as we are all aware. social media should be public and interoperable. there needs to be a rolling back of internet surveillance. i've been toying with the idea of a Federal Department of Digital Moderation as an intervention on the current fascist radicalization pipeline that is social media, but that raises so many other concerns that i don't have an answer for. mostly i just think that the profit motive needs to be excised from as many sectors of public life as possible, and nationalization is a pretty good way to get there.

affordable housing! lower rents means fewer hours at work to make ends meet means more time to spend with family & community means more chances for more people to participate in civic action. abolish student debt and make college free! and make it illegal for colleges to invest in shit like fucking israel! a more accessible system of higher education means a more educated proletariat. this wouldn't by any stretch automatically lead to a more leftist proletariat, but conservatives have worked very hard to curtail access to higher education and that alone is more than enough reason to push for it. i've really buried the lede here, honestly. to my mind, medicare for all, mass public transit, free education, and national rent control are THE milestones we ought to be aiming for in terms of domestic policy. it is simply impossible to estimate how seismically and immediately these four policies (if applied equitably and without means-testing) could transform civic life in the USA. any systemic social ill you can name has some connection to one of these four ideas. i personally hold prison abolition & police defunding as equally essential, but these are unfortunately a MUCH harder sell for a lot of folks and will require some solidaristic frog-boiling from the likeable progressives/socialists of the world to naturalize the idea. but then, on that front i'm speaking very much outside my lane, and would defer to the wisdom of actual abolition activists in a scenario where we were talking concrete policy.

then there's foreign policy. this post has gone on a long time and i'm not the person to talk about this at length, but: the united states military needs to be defunded, and its outposts across the world removed. to curtail global climate change, the american imperial project must end. our meddling in foreign affairs is directly responsible for the domination of capital, and so long as this and other western states exist as they do, no communist outpost is safe. then there comes the question of reparations. all those billionaires didn't invent their money, they stole it. in quite a lot of cases they stole it from US citizens, but they've stolen far more from the rest of the world. tax the rich at 99% and distribute billions no-strings-attached to african and pacific island nations? other countries deserve a right to self determination without the threat of foreign interference. our nation's wealth doesn't just need to be taxed and redistributed to working class usamericans (particularly black communities), it ought to be redistributed internationally to all the countries we've fucked with over the last century and a half. but that's a pretty late stage pipe dream.

i guess the last thing that i've been thinking a lot about is more esoteric, and certainly difficult to implement. i believe we need to seriously interrogate "progress" as a concept. right now our society is defined by technological advancements as encouraged by a capitalist economy. if you fuck around with old analog tech at all, you've probably said to yourself more than once "they really don't make em like this anymore." i think about that fucking Hot Ones interview with matt damon about how streaming has stabbed the established profit model in the heart, where he says something like "we had a pretty good thing going before they showed up." i think about small museums closing down in the pandemic because they couldn't turn a profit, small local shops closing down for the same reason. constant newness paired with engineered obsolescence. disruption of the equilibrium in order to steal profit. it's easy to argue that socialized healthcare is good because it's actually more cost efficient than private healthcare. but those are the terms set by capitalists. i believe that healthcare and profit-seeking should be mutually exclusive. i believe that some things are a public good, however small --museums, quirky shops, parks, art spaces, open lots, movies, music, theater, whatever-- and that these things should be protected from the market at all costs. the alternative is corporate consolidation of everything, as every piece of local color cannot compete with economies of scale and asphyxiates to death. i refuse to accept the idea that "progress" means throwing away anyone who specialized in the thing being progressed beyond. i refuse to accept the idea that "progress" is linear and exists beyond the purview of morals, values, and ideology, nor indeed that it is inevitable and in any event an unalloyed good.

i believe that it doesn't matter if making higher-quality clothes at greater cost in unionized factories is "less efficient" than fast fashion. all "efficiency" means is spread everything as thin as possible, just enough just on time regardless of context. it's a mask for robber baron bullshit. it's an attempt by the bourgeoisie to naturalize the laws of economics as if they were on the same level as the laws of gravity, and we just can't accept that anymore. there's that meme, "i want shorter games with worse graphics made by people who are paid more to work less and i’m not kidding." i think we ought to apply that sentiment far more broadly. if we truly believe in the dignity of a self-determined life, then we must agree that some things are above profit, above efficiency, and are worth doing right. i haven't quite nailed down yet how exactly to verbalize this idea in a way that can be easily & quickly understood. but i feel it intensely, and only moreso as time goes on. as we push for these seemingly-impossible policy changes, it's of equal importance that we not lose ourselves to the limitations of the system as it exists under capitalism. to transform the world we must transform ourselves. to save the world we must save ourselves. if we hold a value to be true, then it must be constant and uncompromising. we must agree that our lives are better off when certain things exist even if they aren't efficient or fail to turn a profit, and thus decimate whatever part of us has been raised to believe that efficiency and profit ought ever to enter the equation. of course, in any revolution costs quickly become a huge going concern. there will always be painful compromises in policy along the path, always disappointments and mistakes. no revolution can be perfect. but through all these material challenges, the world that must be needs a place at the table with us. impractical, impossible, unfeasible... necessary.

you will probably not live to see that world, anon, and neither will i. we are all in the long game now, and it can never stop with one good policy, one good politician, one needed win. it's everything or it's nothing. socialism or barbarism. it is this belief which guides me, that no one ought to suffer the indignities i've suffered in my years working for shit wages, struggling to find housing, watching family die from economic abandonment. that there is simply no reason for society to be the way that it is, and that "the world isn't fair" is no excuse when we are the engineers of that "world" in every way that matters.

anyway, those are some of my thoughts on the subject. i hope i haven't made a complete fool of myself here.

[theresstillgrowinghere]

Oh I am fucking angry.

Dr. Edwin Leap (yes, I will call you out by name because you published your bullshit online for the whole world to see), thank you for almost comedically illustrating why so many patients are afraid of doctors.

You do not ever get to think of your patients as other. They are your same flesh and blood; I don’t care how much you want to think of yourself as separate from those of us unwell. (I can tell how much disdain you hold for us just from this short article. We are failures, not good enough, not strong and morally pure like you are, hm?)

Healthcare can never, never, allow itself to other its patients. And yet, you publish an entire article calling sick people Homo infirmus and Homo fragilis? Your tone doesn’t come across very humorous, but even if it’s just supposed to be a silly little joke, explain to me why the fuck you think that would be okay.

Why the fuck would it be okay to say another person is not only not your same species but instead defined as other primarily by their illness?

And designated as such by you, a medical professional with direct influence on the lives and wellbeings of the very people you are dehumanizing?

Do you not see how terrifying that is? Do you not see why people would be afraid of you after just having read this piece?

And then you go on, boiling my blood:

“Homo fragilis, at least as a diagnostic category, begins earlier and earlier in life and often results not only in a tribe of people dependent on medications but also, ‘relying on the kindness of strangers.’ No, maybe better put, ‘demanding the kindness of strangers.’ These individuals require food, shelter, medication, affirmation, and often money from others because they cannot function in the wild. I’m not being mean; the causes are legion, from poor family structure to mental health challenges to social media.”

I cannot believe how many infuriating things you’ve said just in this paragraph alone, but I want to focus on the part that immediately washed me with deep shame. Unrightfully so. You have no right to make me feel ashamed, and yet, when you said “demanding” better captures my state of existence, it turned my stomach inside out.

Yes, I am disabled. I absolutely rely very heavily on other people. Yes, I require food, shelter, medication, affirmation, money. And so do you, christ. You aren’t better than us just because we need support from our communities. Getting support from those around us isn’t a crime, isn’t a wrongdoing, isn’t a moral failure.

You know what it is? Human.

Whether or not Margaret Mead actually said that a healed femur in recovered ancient remains was the earliest sign of civilization (we’re going to save the charged nature of this term for another time and for now just use it as a placeholder for consistent, steady, lasting community), there is a reason why people latch onto this story. There is a reason why it warms people’s hearts:

So many of us want to care* for people. So many of us want to have people care for us. So many people feel closer to others, to ourselves, to our own humanity when offering others care.

(*I am including all the vastly different ways we can show others care, love, support, respect, protection, encouragement, etc.)

And perhaps the most upsetting part is how close you are to understanding the problem while getting the most key pieces so, so wrong. You’re right, our current healthcare system cannot handle the amount of support patients need right now. But please, I beg you, could you consider for just one second that it is not the fault of the patients? Could you please not strip me of my humanity just because I need help to survive?

Fix the system. You’re right, there is a massive problem. But it’s not us. Next time you’re considering your “long-dormant zoology degree,” think twice and reflect a bit before publishing bullshit like this. Think about what it means to take care of those around you. Think about your own humanity.

[auraworkshop]

Aura ukw, it's been YEARS since I'm trying to enter void which is literally within me. Now after trying every conceivable method, I'm feeling completely lost, I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like I lost myself fighting somewhere </3

I CAN NEVER EVER ENTER THE VOID, IT'S JUST SO HARD FOR ME

WHENEVER I MEDITATE TO ENTER THE VOID, MY INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS DISTRACTS ME

IT'S BEEN YEARS, I FEEL LIKE I'M NOT MAKING ANY PROGRESS, I FEEL LIKE I'M NOT DOING ENOUGH

THESE DAYS THERE THINGS THAT ARE TOO “OFFICIAL” TOO “SERIOUS” TOO “TIME SENSITIVE”. YOU KNOW THESE TYPES OF SITUATIONS WHEN IT IS TOO “PHYSICAL” TO IGNORE

I am hella tired of EVERYTHING, sometimes I feel, I should just go and die somewhere !

I CAN NEVER ENTER THE VOID, IT'S JUST SO HARD FOR ME

~ Void state, although it seems a bit intimidating, is actually a very simple state. Your mind might believe that its difficult, but it's as simple as embodying the consciousness of I am. Let go of 'trying' to enter it and instead assume that you are in fact in void state now. You might ask yourself, how do I even know that this is void state? Just feel into your consciousness, focus on being and embody being. Let go of doubts and be at peace with whatever is in your body or around you. You only have to be. Stop worrying about whether you will enter the void state, you are already in it, it's your default natural state.

You are the space in which everything occurs, therefore, it is not something you can get into, but something that is already you. Simply remember that you are the void. Stop seeking it as an object and remember that it is your nature. Be it. You are that I Am. You are not in a body, a body is in you. The world is not outside of you, but completely within you.

WHENEVER U MEDITATE TO ENTER THE VOID, MY INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS DISTRACTS ME

~ When you meditate for the sake of entering the void, you are operating from the state of lack and need. This mindset automatically pushes you away from your goal. Instead, you need to operate from the state of already being in the void. You need to be already there. So when you meditate, focus on being in that void state, not on making it happen or making it happen today. Focus on being in that state now. The void is yours right now if you simply allow it to be.

IT'S BEEN YEARS, I FEEL LIKE I'M NOT MAKING ANY PROGRESS. I FEEL LIKE I'M NOT DOING ENOUGH

~ The moment you are dissatisfied with the progress, you are already not accepting yourself/current situation as it is. Every moment that brings dissatisfaction to you is an attempt to be something other than you are. You're trying to be something other than the 'I AM' with the expectation that this 'something' will finally feel 'right' when you become 'that'. And because you do not know what it will feel like you can never get to the future. You only exist now. There is no 'when' you get there. The process and 'progress'.

Just relax and enjoy the journey. Entering the void state is not about trying hard but rather about being. The more you resist what is, by trying and trying, the more you only prolong the process of reaching that desired state. Let go of all resistance, of the need to force and try, and focus on just chilling and enjoying. It is your birthright to create and manifest.

THESE DAYS THERE THINGS THAT ARE TOO "OFFICIAL" TOO "SERIOUS" TO0 "TIME SENSITIVE". YOU KNOW THESE TYPES OF SITUATIONS WHEN IT IS TOO "PHYSICAL" TO IGNORE

~ You see, even the things you are calling "too official" are only "too official" in your mind. To you. But what you need to remember is that you are not your physical body and everything you see around you is a reflection of what you are actually in your awareness. You are awareness. You are the awareness that is reading this message. Not your physical body.

When you will understand this deeply, that this whole life is a dream, nothing is real, nothing matters you will stop believing in those "too official" things.

I understand you :)

You have been conditioned to believe that it doesn't happen instantly. That you have to "work for it" because that is what's considered "real". You have been conditioned to believe that instant and easy is always a fantasy.

But the truth is this, you are that instant and it always is that easy because you are the creator. You don't have to wait if you don't want to. What you want, is yours already. Do not believe anyone telling you otherwise.

You are so powerful, that you feel lost or discouraged in this moment is just an illusion It is a test, or a lesson. But I know you've got this, because you have made it so far. You just need to trust yourself and know yourself and your own power. You can do it, and it's going to be great. I am so proud of you for how far you have come, and how much you learn more and more about yourself. This is going to be an amazing journey, you're doing so good, keep going !

We have so much power, power that goes beyond "logic" and "physics". We just haven't allowed ourselves to understand this yet. We are still identifying with this body or character.

You're infinite, beautiful, powerful, glorious, eternal.

What's better than this?

It's all you, remember that. All. Of. It.

The whole thing, even the "bad" parts. That's your power and your creation.

You know what you want, you know who you are. You are on this path for a reason and you are so deserving of what you are manifesting. Don't rush things, don't doubt yourself. Just trust the process. You are doing great. I believe in you and you can do this, the world is yours and it's waiting for you to live your best life You are loved, always ! 🤍

[fairyminnie444]

Hi, I want to manifest the absence of something I've been experiencing for a long time (health and wellness related). The thing is, after I get rid of this state, I have a lot of things to do that I can't do because of this ailment. And when I affirm that I don't have this ailment, I ask myself why I don't do what I've been putting off for so long, since I'm fine now. I know I don't need to act as if, and I don't want to, as it will trigger me. I can't imagine and tell myself that I'm actually doing those activities, because they require certain thoughts (for example, I haven't watched any shows and when I say I watch them, I feel stupid, because I don't know what's going on in those shows). I also feel stupid when I say I don't have that ailment anymore and yet I'm doing some bs (something I wouldn't do if I were fine). I've tried future tense affirming, but it didnt work, and honestly it doesn't make me feel any better to think that it's going to happen soon, because I've had that ailment for so long. Anyway, what would your advice be?

It sounds like you’re struggling because you’re caught between the desire to manifest the absence of this ailment and the pressure of what comes after—trying to reconcile your current reality with your desired one. Here’s how I would approach this:

1. Focus on the End Result: Don’t worry about the details of “doing” anything just yet. Instead, focus on the feeling of being free from the ailment. Your goal is to shift into the state where you are already without this issue. You don’t need to immediately act on that new state by doing things—your first step is just to believe and feel that the ailment is gone.

Affirmations like “I am healthy and whole now” or “My body is free and strong” should be your focus. You’re not saying “I will do X, Y, or Z when I feel better,” you’re affirming that you are already better, and that’s enough.

2. Let Go of the “How”: You don’t need to know what actions you’ll take once you’re healthy. That’s the 3D getting involved and trying to control the process. Just stay focused on the end state—feeling good, free from the ailment, and healthy. This will allow the 3D to catch up in its own way. The “how” will unfold once the new belief is firmly in place.

3. Don’t Force Yourself to Imagine the Actions: It’s okay if you can’t imagine yourself doing those activities yet. Instead of imagining the doing, focus on how it would feel to be healthy and capable. Think about how good it will feel to live a life without this limitation, without worrying about the ailment. It’s not about visualizing action—it’s about feeling the freedom that comes with your health being restored.

4. Release the Resistance: If imagining the future feels forced or uncomfortable, stop. There’s no need to push yourself into it. Trust the process and let go of the pressure to “act as if” or to fill in the details. You’re shifting into a new version of yourself where the ailment doesn’t exist, and from that state, the actions will flow naturally when it’s time.

5. Affirmations and Trust: If you feel triggered by affirmations like “I am doing X, Y, or Z,” then simply focus on “I am healthy now” and let go of the need to prove it by doing things. The truth is, once your health is fully restored in your mind, the actions you want to take will feel natural, and the desire to do those activities will come without resistance.

Stay focused on who you are becoming, not on how you’re going to do things. The more you focus on the absence of the ailment, the more it will disappear. When you affirm, “I am free from this ailment,” do it without needing to justify it by action immediately. The 3D will follow your inner state of health and well-being.

[normalguy100]

reality-warping being inhabiting your office that loves when you piss yourself - part 1

you're almost done with your work project, almost almost almost -

you're the last person in the office. all the other cubicles are empty and the lights are off. the only thing allowing you to see your keyboard is the bluish-white glow emanating from your monitor.

you have to piss really, really fucking bad.

you're glad that no one else is here, actually, and glad that the business you work for is too small for security cameras, because you gave up on the facade of pretending you don't have to go around half an hour ago. your legs are squeezed together, one of your hands jammed in your crotch to help hold back the flow. but you're almost done with this project. you type in the last few sentences of your email one-handed, insert your files in the attachments section, and hit send.

"finally," you think, and at the realization that you're actually done and can go relieve yourself, your bladder releases a little spurt of piss. no, no, not yet! you stand up, eying your empty water bottle with serious consideration. but, no. you don't want to. you like that water bottle. you'll never be able to drink out of it again if you piss in it. the bathroom is just down the hall.

with that, you hurry out of your department and down the hall towards the bathroom. the doors of various other departments whizz past as you move as quickly as you can in your current state. it feels so much more urgent now, without your work to distract you. every step emphasizes the pressure, and it seems like the bathroom can't possibly be this far away. it's just down the hall!

you continue on down the hall, both hands buried in your crotch. it's not like anyone is going to see you, and if you don't hold yourself you're pretty sure it's going to come out. your job doesn't have nightly cleaners, and people will connect the dots if they see a huge fucking puddle in the morning. they know you were the last to leave.

finally, finally, you get to the end of the hall, with a staircase going down into the lobby. you halt in confusion. you *know* that there should have been a bathroom between your office and here, you have to go. it's so bad you can barely think, and another little leak exits you. there's now a very, very present wet spot in the front of your underwear, and the quickly cooling wetness is not helping you hold the rest of the flood back. you let out a groan. you must have missed the bathroom in your haste to reach it. you turn around and start to head back towards where it must be.

it's a difficult, arduous journey back towards your department, and you leak again during it. to your dismay, you don't run into the bathroom despite your sharpened attention. it's like it's somehow vanished from existence. you arrive back at the door to your department and turn around, stalking determinedly now. you will not miss the bathroom again.

you only make it past a few more department doors when you leak again, longer this time, and realize that whatever is going on, you're not going to be able to hold it any longer.

you run back towards your own department, now ready to just give up and piss in your water bottle, but the door doesn't come, only the doors of departments you don't recognize. you rattle at one of their knobs, determined to at least find a trash can or something to piss in so you don't just leave a puddle in the hall. the door doesn't budge. you drop the handle and try another. nothing.

"no, no, no no no," you mumble under your breath. you run down the hall, not even knowing what you're looking for at this point. you just need to get out of there. but there is no out. you're leaking every few seconds, now, completely uncontrollably, until you have to stop.

it's coming out.

trying to clench your body's muscles does nothing, holding yourself does nothing. you can't stop the flow of piss exiting your body. the already-present dark patch on the front of your pants growing in size as rivulets stream down between your legs. your legs turn to jelly as you void yourself completely, and you fall to your knees. it feels endless. it soaks your socks and dribbles into your shoes.

when you stand up, whole body shuddering with the aftershocks of relief, the bathroom door is right there, as if mocking you.

"oh, come on," you complain.

you sponge at your pants in front of the sink, take your socks off, and then get an armful of paper towels to clean up at least some of your mess, but when you step out of the bathroom, the puddle is just... gone.

as you leave the building, the halls are once again their normal lengths, and the sound of the metal handrail on the stairs seems almost cheerful.

you find your car in the parking lot, and take one last look at the office building. a light flashes, on and off. it's your window, the one by your cubicle. you stare at the building for a moment more before driving home

[ijustcrypretty]

Football vs. Futbol

Summary: Your parents are a former 49er and a retired ballerina. They gave birth to you, a soccer star who played at Stanford from 2018-2022 (and three-peated), and your twin brother, a UC Berkeley basketball player. You are currently playing for Bay FC after leaving Chelsea and moving back to the states, as well as the USWNT. Your brother is a rookie for the Sacramento Kings, and well… bitches are thirsty for him. Your family ties and the increasing fame that comes with being your generation's greatest female soccer player lead to you being in room with many interesting and exciting people, including the mysterious and elusive Joseph Lee Burrow. 

Reminder: THIS IS FICTION. Y/N is not a real soccer player that exists, the character of her dad and brother aren’t based on actual athletes, etc. The only part of this story that is based off real people is the Joe Burrow aspect of it all. His character will for the most part remain true to who he is, or who people perceive him to be, in the real world. Everything else I am literally pulling from my ass. 

Also MDNI. This will be a story about ADULTS doing ADULT THINGS so go to your 3-hour shift at Jamba Juice and mind your business if you're not an adult. Please and thank you :) 

ALSO. I will hopefully maintain writing this specific storyline and sequence of events but I am very open and would love to write random offshoots and blurbs with the same characters involved. So PLEASE feel free to send me any requests/asks for little plotlines you'd like to see and I may include them in this storyline or write a separate story/blurb when I have time. I may keep up with that more than I keep up with writing the full on story because I get bored and sidetracked easily :(

. . .

You tried. You really did try to pay attention as your manager Becky droned on and on about all the opportunities you were getting and should be taking. “Its important for the world to see a successful female athlete dominate the world and not give a shit what people think. Its what the boys do,” she says. 

“I mean signing a contract for 15 million a year is unprecedented Y/N. Completely unheard of. You should not be sitting here doubting yourself, bringing yourself down. You’re the shit, and you should be allowed to know that about yourself”. 

“Becky. I know I’m the shit. I just don’t necessarily need to be going on fucking Pardon my Take. What's next, you want me to get in with the guys at Barstool? I feel like all this press shit is a lateral move at best” you argue. The last thing you want to do is not be true to yourself. You are not doing any of this for men. Being sexualized by men in sports media has been bad enough, but if you began to lean into that? God, you’d hate yourself.  

“Y/N, the entire world is looking at you. This is an opportunity for you to break down doors and let other women in with you. I know you don’t necessarily WANT men to like you, but what's wrong with having male fans? You have an opportunity to expand your fan base? Take it.”

You left the meeting in a huff, knowing that Becky was right, but your pride was not allowing you to accept the facts. Yes, you have a lot of fans because of my talent. But plenty of your fame has come from the completely and utterly thirsty people of the internet. It just feels so much worse when the sexualization comes from straight men. Even though that is ironically exactly the group of people that you want to be attracted to you. 

But Becky was right. You needed to stop avoiding spaces dominated by men simply because you were afraid of being sexualized and not taken seriously. It was going to happen regardless, might as well take all the opportunities you could get. So you dialed the number. 

“Heyyy Y/L/N”

“What’s up Big Cat. I’ll do it.”

. . .

“Listen imma be honest, I didn’t know how this was gonna go but you’re actually so dope” said Big Cat. “However, I am unfortunately going to have to appease the fans and at least try to get some of these answers okay?” 

“Oh God. Hit me with it I guess” you responded. 

“Lets say that hypothetically” PFT began, “you were single.”

“Oh Godddd” you groaned. 

PFT laughed. “I’m sorry. We have to. It's our job.”

“Listen Y/N, we have all the connections,” Big Cat said. “Just give me 3  Inames of any athletes, and I can try to set you up. I know you must have some dusty motherfuckers in those DM’s, let me figure out what you like and maybe get you someone quality okay?”

“Listen, I appreciate it, I really do. But I don’t have a type. And I sure as hell will not be saying any names,” you say. “But if you know anything Big Cat, let me know. Because some of these guys are all talk but don’t make a move when they get the chance.”

“Ohhh I know things Y/L/N,” Big Cat replied. “I ask this question to everyone, and they all have a little crush on you, and they all ask me to cut it out. I’ll tell you after.”

“Oh jeez I appreaciate it i guess?” you said. 

“Wait you’re going to Paris for the athlete fashion things right Y/N?” PFT interrupted. “Because boy do we have some info for you.”

“Haha yeah I’m going. I’m super excited to get more involved and it’ll definitely be fun to meet new people. I’m really passionate about fashion so I’m really excited to do more of that this year” you said. “But I am NOT going for any other reason okay? Just for the fashion.”

“Righttttt” Big Cat replied. “But it won’t hurt that a bunch of 6’4 athletes will be there will it?”

“I guess not Big Cat, I guess not”