#just what the hell can you even say besides ‘I’m sorry for your loss and I’m here for you’

[theshadowrealmitself]

My poor friend (the one I went to the movies with the other day) apparently got into a car accident the day after and just got released from the hospital (I thought she was just taking awhile to get to my texts because she usually does that) and she says she’s fine but her mom passed away and holy shit???

I know tragedies are sudden, but still, I saw her mom that day we went to the movies, she looked so happy and healthy, I can’t even imagine what my friend is going through rn and everything I’m saying to comfort her feels so…inadequate. just. what the fuck.

[daryl-dixon-daydreams]

Words: 4,776 Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Reader Reader pronouns: she/her Era: Alexandria, pre-Negan Warnings: language, gore, violence, descriptions of flashbacks and implied PTSD, fear and anxiety Summary: After seeing Y/N freeze outside the walls a few days earlier during an encounter with walkers, Carol suggest that she needs to learn how to fight. Shortly after, she goes missing.

“Hey. Have ya seen Y/N?” Daryl drawled. “I can’t find her anywhere. I’ve been lookin’ for over an hour. We were s’posed to meet up today but she didn’t show.” Even as he said it, his stomach twisted. That wasn’t like you to miss an agreed on meeting.

Glenn shook his head and shrugged. “I don’t know. I haven’t seen her since this morning. Maggie?” Maggie shook her head, at a loss.

Carol shifted uncomfortably and Daryl picked up on it immediately, his eyes narrowing and becoming sharp. “Carol?” he prodded her.

She straightened up and met his discerning gaze. “I need some air,” Carol said. “Come on out and—and we’ll talk.” She didn’t give Daryl an option and quickly moved through the kitchen, down the hall, and out onto the porch.

Daryl burst out after her, tense and unsettled. “S’goin’ on?” he growled.

Carol spun and leaned back against the railing, crossing her arms over herself as if it would shield her from the reaction she seemed to know was coming. “I saw her earlier. We… talked.” Daryl’s eyes narrowed even further.

“Ya talked. And now she’s nowhere to be found? What the hell did ya say?”

Carol shifted anxiously again. “I just—I told her that it would be a good idea if she got some lessons on how to fight… I told her she could ask you or Rosita or—”

“Ya what?” he growled, stepping up to her. His face seemed to flare up crimson. “Why the hell didya say anythin’ to her like that?”

Carol gave him dubious look. “Daryl. She’s useless when it comes to—”

He was immediately pointing angrily in her face. “Ya dunno what the hell yer talkin’ about! Ya shouldn’ta said anythin’!” He stalked angrily back and forth across the porch.

Carol was a little taken aback by how angry he was. “Well, am I wrong? She hardly leaves the walls and when we were out last week and those walkers came in, she just froze!”

Daryl paced a tight circle in front of her. “Ya dunno what yer talkin’ about,” he growled again. “And it ain’t none of yer damn business. Why’d ya have to say anythin’ to her? Huh? Can’t ya just worry ‘bout yer damn self?”

Now Carol did scoff. “It’s my business if I want to help her stay alive!” She watched the scowl on Daryl’s face incredulously. “Or are you making that your job now?” she asked him pointedly.

He froze in his pacing, his shoulders thrown back. “Ya, maybe I am.”

Carol shook her head. “You’re gonna take on that responsibility? Do you have any idea what that—” Past feelings of guilt and grief for Sophia, for Mika and Lizzie welled up inside her. “You have no idea how it feels to shoulder that and fail.”

“Oh, really? I don’t? What ‘bout Beth, huh?”

Carol immediately went silent, her mouth hanging slightly open. She closed her eyes and sighed. “I—I’m sorry. I—”

“Ya forgot?” he growled. “Yeah, tha’s a luxury I ain’t got.”

“No, of course I didn’t forget. I just didn’t—Look, I’m sorry if you feel that I was out of line with Y/N. But I was doing it from a place of good intentions.”

“Yeah. The road to hell is paved with ‘em. Ain’t that what they say?” He shot her another sharp look and shook his head dismissively. “Forget it. I gotta find her. Ya ain’t got no idea what ya—” He broke off, shaking his head, and hurried toward his place to collect his gear.

Glenn and Maggie came out, announced by the creak of the screen door. Carol was staring at Daryl’s figure shrinking down the road. “You okay?” Glenn asked, stopping beside her. “Sounded… bad,” he mused.

“I’m fine,” Carol said. “You know how he can be,” she added with a forced smile. “Mostly bark.”

Maggie came and stood at the railing, looking after Daryl’s retreating figure too. “You have any idea what’s goin’ on? About Y/N, I mean.”

Carol shook her head. “No. Obviously there’s something we don’t know about her. All I said to her was that she should get some lesson to learn to fight. Daryl was furious. I don’t know why…”

“Well,” Maggie sighed, “hopefully he finds her and nothing else comes of it. I’m sure it’ll be alright,” she reassured Carol.

Daryl was soon at the gate and called up to Tobin who was on watch. “Hey. Ya been on watch long?”

He leaned over the railing to look down at Daryl and nodded. “Yeah. Since after the midday meal.”

“Ya know Y/N?” Daryl asked.

Tobin nodded. “Sure. She went out a few hours ago with her pack. Hasn’t come back in yet. I was a bit surprised to be honest. She hasn’t left the walls very often since Aaron brought her in.”

Daryl nodded. “Ya see which way she was headin’?”

“Straight down the road ‘til I couldn’t see her anymore,” Tobin said, straightening up. “Should we be worried?” he asked, his brow furrowing.

Daryl shrugged. “I dunno. Tha’s why ‘m headin’ out. I’ll find her. Thanks,” he called up. Tobin waved him out and another Alexandrian rolled the gate back so he could exit. It clanged shut behind him with a noise that felt strangely ominous. Daryl set off straight down the road, just as Tobin said you had, and he scrutinized it for any sign of you. After several minutes of walking he found a small boot print in the dirt that definitely could have belonged to you. A shot of anxiety ran through him like a white-hot lightning bolt. What the hell was Carol thinking? Telling you to learn to fight… Shit. Another voice in his head answered, She didn’t, couldn’t know. He rubbed a hand over his mouth and chin as he straightened up and continued walking. His blue eyes were narrowed as he scanned the tree line on either side of the road and the grassy ditch beside him. You had to be alright. You had to be.

He walked for about another twenty minutes, painstakingly scrutinizing the side of the road to make sure he didn’t miss a path you’d veered off on, when he suddenly saw some dark bundle up ahead in the ditch. His heart plummeted into his stomach and his feet faltered. It was still too far ahead and partially obscured in the long grass and weeds. He couldn’t tell what it was. He took off toward it at a quickened pace before breaking into a full out run. After the first couple steps into the grass, he stopped dead. It wasn’t you. Thank God, it wasn’t you. He took a moment and bent forward with his hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath. Sweat dripped down his face from his hairline and he took out his bandana to mop at it, his mouth still open, chest heaving. He straightened up and looked down at the ragged corpse.

There was an obvious knife wound in the side of the head. A trickle of gore had run out of it and dripped down the sunken face and into the grass. It had been killed recently. He lifted his eyes to the trees ahead and squinted into the shadows beneath them. This had to have been you.

His steadiness regained, he searched back toward the road and found another boot print in some soft soil that matched the one he had seen on the road. He returned to the body and easily spotted a narrow, trampled path that led into the woods. He swung his crossbow down off his shoulder, his nerves buzzing.

He’d barely made it under the coolness of the leafy canopy when he came on another walker. This one too had been stabbed in the head with a clean knife wound. There were a few scuffs in the dirt near the body where the confrontation had clearly taken place. He struggled to find your path forward at first. The ground was carpeted in old leaf litter and scattered with patches of herbaceous plants that could easily obscure any marks left by you. But when he finally raised his eyes to look ahead into the distance, he saw more bodies… a string of walkers, unmoving heaps on the ground. He headed straight for them.

What the hell were you doing? You’d come out here after Carol’s obtuse comment to, what? Kill walkers?

Sure enough, these three walkers had also been stabbed in the head, though one must have put up more of a struggle because it had a wound to its abdomen that was spilling a putrid mix of shit and gore onto the ground. Daryl stood and continued deeper into the woods, following your trail on a mere depression here and a broken twig there. The afternoon was wearing away into evening now and he was getting worried. He needed to find you before it got dark. Tracking on this ground by the beam of his light would be far too difficult and he didn’t like the thought of you out here in the dark, alone somewhere. What if you’d gotten hurt and couldn’t get back? What if you couldn’t find a safe place? What if you’d run into trouble you didn’t expect? No. He had to find you.

After a while, Daryl didn’t need to search for the scarce marks you’d left behind anymore. He simply had to follow the trail of bodies. They were becoming more and more frequent and the clusters were varying now from single walkers to six at a time and everything in between, all stabbed. His heart was starting to race with adrenaline. He’d lost count of how many corpses you’d put down and there was still no clear sign of you. Dusk wasn’t far off. He urged himself to move faster.

Suddenly, he came on a walker that hadn’t been completely put down. It was still clawing at the earth, digging its skeletal fingers into the ground as it tried crawl toward him. This was prevented, however, but the upper body being completely separated from the lower. It looked crushed, or perhaps it had just decayed that way and fallen apart.

Daryl stabbed his knife into its skull with a swift and skillful motion and the low growls ceased. He squinted around into the trees. “Y/N?” he called out as loudly as he dared. It seemed to echo in his ears but die only a few feet away from him, stopped as if by some invisible force that swallowed the sound. The air felt suddenly thick and tense.

More growls sounded up ahead and Daryl rushed forward to meet a tall thin walker ambling his way. There was a deep slash to one side of its neck, deep enough that the head was bent at an odd angle in the opposite direction. It staggered and let out a loud snarl as it reached for him but he raised his bow and fired a bolt straight into its forehead. It fell with a thud and laid still among two other bodies.

He didn’t like this. All these bodies and then suddenly two that were left alive? His stomach twisted. “Y/N?” he called again, a little louder this time. He heard nothing in the crushing silence of the woods except for the occasional rustle of leaves overhead or in the understory.

He tried his hardest to swallow the constriction in his throat, but it didn’t seem to do much. Moving forward again, the trees began to open up slightly and the ground became grassier. In the waning daylight he first saw a looming shape that then materialized into a rundown trailer house. He quickened his pace but was soon stopped by the sheer number of scattered walkers in the overgrown yard. There was a tremendous amount, some even piled on top of one another. He felt a rush of panic. “Y/N?!” he called out, making for the house, stepping over one corpse after another. He burst in through the partially open door, which rebounded with a sharp bang.

There was a rising snarl and clattering sound and a couple still upright walkers lunged toward him from one of the rooms, but he put them down with a skillful shot from his crossbow and thrust with his knife. Please don’t let her be in here. Please. The inside of the house was putrid with the telltale signs of a long occupation by the undead. Daryl searched each room, his apprehension somehow growing with every door he opened, but he found no sign of you inside. You weren’t in here. You weren’t.

At least relieved that you weren’t in that nightmarish house, though still on edge, Daryl returned to the yard. “Y/N?!” he called again. He paused to set another bolt in the flight groove of his crossbow. When he looked up again, his eyes landed on something ahead that was entirely out of place among the bodies.

He paced over to it slowly, afraid of what he might find. He felt suddenly shaky and his hands gripped his crossbow too tight.

There on the ground at his feet was your pack.

He knelt beside it and turned it over. It was intact, but splattered with walker blood and gore. At least there was no sign of your blood—no bright, shocking crimson stains.

There was a depression in the grass beside it, just a small one, and he touched it thoughtfully before raising his eyes and scanning the ground ahead. There. A glint of silver. His breath caught between his lungs.

Your knife.

Daryl rushed over to where it was lying in the grass. It was covered with blood, and some of it on the blade seemed too red to be from the walkers. “Shit,” he said out loud, gripping the handle and turning it over in his hands. He shot up to his feet and nearly whirled around frantically. “Y/N!” Where could you be? You’d lost your gear and your knife. It was almost night. And you might be injured.

He didn’t understand this riddle… the fresh, living blood on your knife. He pressed forward, his eyes darting from one corpse to the next. He wasn’t sure he was even breathing. He was so afraid that one of the figures would be you. “Y/N!” he yelled again, the loudest yet. “Y/N, if ya can hear me—” He stopped short as he rounded the back corner of the house. There was a small garden shed in the corner of the yard. The door was shut tightly. He gulped.

Pushing down the nauseous feeling in his stomach and ignoring the tightness in his chest, he paced toward it. When he reached the door, he stared at it for a long moment. Half of him was telling him not to open that shed—that whatever he was about to find in there wasn’t something he should see. But the other half was screaming all the louder that you were going to be fine and you were in that fucking shed and he was going to get to you and fix whatever the hell this was…

He reached for the handle and popped the latch which resounded with a heavy metallic clunk. The bottom of the door scraped and groaned on the plywood floor but it finally bounced open wide enough for him to peer inside.

His breath caught in his throat and his heart jumped upward, rising, and then sinking again as he fully absorbed what he was seeing.

There you were, sitting in a tight ball on the floor among the dirty, dusty, spider-web draped pots and rusty garden tools. Your arms were wrapped tightly around your legs and your chin almost rested on your knees. Your eyes looked up at him from behind layers and smears of walker blood and dirt, wide and fearful.

Swallowing nervously, he pushed the door open wide to let more of the dimming light in. “Hey…” he said softly, as gently as he could. “Hey, Y/N. I’ve been lookin’ for ya.”

You hardly reacted. Your eyes simply dropped back toward the floor.

Daryl moved slowly and deliberately, immensely worried about the fragile state you seemed to be in. He leaned his crossbow up against the open door and swung his pack down. He crouched low so he was on your level. “Are—are ya hurt?”

You didn’t move, didn’t even acknowledge the question.

He chewed anxiously on his bottom lip for a long moment. “Y/N? Can ya look at me?” He edged closer to you, kneeling in front of you. “Jus’ look at me. Please?”

Slowly, your eyes lifted to his face and he saw that they were brimming with tears.

“Hey—s’okay. S’alright. ‘M righ’ here. Yer okay,” he said, nodding. He felt like a bubble had formed in his chest. “Are ya hurt? They didn’t—the walkers—tell me they didn’t—”

You shook your head, blinking to try and clear your eyes. It was then that he noticed a scrap of your shirt was tied around one of your hands.

“Can I see?” he asked, gesturing toward your hand.

You bit your bottom lip thoughtfully a moment before you nodded and held it out to him. Daryl carefully unwrapped the makeshift bandage and turned your hand over to see a gash across your lower palm, extending almost to the bottom of your thumb. It was a clean cut, and suddenly the blood on your knife made sense. Perhaps in some struggle, slick with walker blood, your hand had slipped onto the blade and you’d cut yourself. Maybe that was why you’d dropped the knife. The cut started to bleed again as Daryl looked at it, holding your hand flat on his.

“I’ve got some stuff in my bag. I’ll take care’a this.” He reached behind him and tugged his pack forward before digging out the small first aid kit he’d packed. He grabbed his canteen from the side pocket and poured water onto your hand, dabbing at the cut with a clean bit of gauze and flushing it thoroughly. Then he dried it as best he could and applied some ointment before wrapping the whole thing with a fresh gauze pad and bandage. You were still as stone as he tended to you. “Anythin’ else?” he drawled softly when he was satisfied.

You shook your head, looking suddenly exhausted. “No. My shins are pretty banged up but—I’m okay. It’s just that.”

Daryl was relieved to hear you say anything, even if your voice was a little quiet and shaky. He nodded again. His eyes flitted over your figure, still hunched in front of him in a way that made you look smaller than you were. “Can—can ya tell me what happened? I mean, I followed the bodies here but—”

Your eyes dropped again and you pulled your bottom lip in between your teeth again.

Daryl hesitated a moment and then steadily moved to sit beside you in that small space. He didn’t know what to say, turning words over and over in his head, trying to figure out which were the right ones. Finally, he broke the silence. “‘M sorry… ‘bout what Carol said to ya. She doesn’t know what—what happened to ya before, what ya went through outside, ya know?”

You shook your head. “It’s not her fault.”

Daryl glanced at you beside him and hated the filth coating your skin. He shifted and grabbed his canteen again, pulling his bandana from his pocket next and waiting until you met his eyes. “Can I clean ya up a bit?” he asked hesitantly.

You met his eyes for a long moment and for some reason his tension eased. Maybe it was because yours were looking less wild now, less desperate and fearful. You nodded in response to his question and he poured some water onto his bandana and began to mop gently at the splatter on your cheek and forehead. Your eyes closed at the touch of the fabric and a long, quiet exhale escaped from between your lips. His touch was grounding, rooting you back in the present in a way you hadn’t been since—

“Can ya tell me what happened?” he asked again. “ S’alrigh’ if ya can’t.” He poured more clean water onto his bandana and dabbed at a splotch near your jaw.

“Carol said that to me and I thought—she’s right. I just needed to do it. I thought I’d just prove to myself that I could still be—still be out here.”

“Mmm,” Daryl hummed, pausing to study your expression.

“I started killing walkers. And then there were more and more and I just followed the trail. And at first I was just so angry,” you said, ducking Daryl’s gaze and running a hand over the bandage on your palm thoughtfully. “I just wanted to put them all down, you know? I wanted to kill every fucking walker in the whole world. I was just so angry.” Your voice broke slightly and you shook your head, your eyes filling with tears again that stung and blurred your vision. “Then there were more and more and I—stupidly, I just kept following them. Then there were so many.” You looked up at him with wide eyes. “I didn’t know that house was full. And they broke out through the door. And it was like a—a flood of them all closing in around me.” You paused to try and gain control of your breathing again, it had grown rapid and shallow with the swelling anxiety as you remembered.

Daryl’s brow was heavily furrowed over his bright blue eyes, but they were soft. He found a clean area of his bandana and poured a little more water on it, lifting his hand again to smooth away a smear on your chin.

You stared at him during this tender moment and felt some dam break in you, some last wall came crumbling down. He’d come after you. He’d noticed you missing and he’d followed. He’d tracked you all the way here from Alexandria. Your heart swelled for him.

“I was killing as many as I could and then—I—the flashbacks hit me—I think,” you paused and drew in a staggered breath, “I don’t know if it was the blood or the smell or the sounds—but I was seeing it all over again, like it was really happening. I was seeing them ripping apart my family after the outbreak and then—they weren’t walkers anymore all of a sudden, they were those men that—that—”

“S’okay,” Daryl interrupted you. “Ya dun gotta say anymore. I know…”

You leaned your head back and shut your eyes, waiting for your heart and breathing to slow again. Daryl watched you carefully and waited until your eyes opened again and you looked at him. He gulped. “‘M sorry. ‘M sorry that happened to ya, all of it. And ‘m sorry Carol said what she said. She was outta line.”

You shook your head, your posture finally uncurling from that tense, protective ball. “No. She couldn’t know. She doesn’t. It’s not her fault. It was stupid of me to leave the walls alone. I knew this could happen, the flashbacks, you know. But what she said—it triggered something in me…”

Daryl nodded and returned to his canteen and the bandana and his gentle ministrations to clean the blood and dirt from your skin.

“I just don’t want people to think—” you broke off again, biting your bottom lip.

“Think what?” he asked, mopping gently at a smear of walker blood on the side of your neck.

“That I’m… useless. Helpless,” you said, ducking your head. “I don’t want to be a burden.”

Daryl pulled back with the cloth and looked at you for a long moment before he sighed. “It don’t matter what people think, alrigh’? Most of the damn time they’re gonna think what they wanna anyway, with or without proof. But ya aren’t useless and ya sure as shit ain’t helpless. I dunno how many of those walkers ya killed today but it was a lot. Ya know how to fight. But none of that matters, even if ya didn’t. If ya never leave the walls again, it don’t matter. If ya freeze up,” he shrugged, “it don’t matter. Ya got people back there now who will—will protect ya. S’okay.”

You met his eyes as they searched your face and you felt a jolt of electricity run up your back.

_ _ _ _ _ _

Gabriel called down to Eric at the gate. “It’s Daryl and Y/N! Open up!”

The sun was nearly gone and darkness was falling in the deep shadows beneath the trees, but you’d made it back, walking side by side, to Alexandria. Your pack was on your back again and your knife was in its sheath. Besides being filthy, no one would know what had happened outside the walls.

Carol was suddenly there, having climbed down the ladder and waited for the two of you to step through the gate. She was wringing her hands a little nervously. “Y/N—I’m so glad you’re okay. I’m sorry for what I—”

You gave her a small smile and interrupted. “It’s okay,” you said. “But—you should know that I do know how to fight.”

“She dun need lessons,” Daryl said. “Just ‘cause somebody don’t, doesn’t mean they can’t.”

Carol nodded, a little perplexed, and eyed the blood all over your clothes and noticed the clean bandage on your hand. “Are you alright?”

“Just need a few stitches and a shower,” you said with a nod. “I’m fine.”

“C’mon,” Daryl said, nudging his head in the direction of the clinic. The two of you started off again but Carol stopped Daryl again.

“Are we… okay?” she asked nervously. “I’m sorry that I assumed—”

He put a friendly hand on her shoulder and nodded, giving her that signature little Daryl smile. “We’re good. Forget it.”

Carol breathed a sigh of relief and her eyes flickered back to you waiting for him a short distance away. “What happened?”

Daryl shrugged. “Nothin’. She was just… killin’ walkers. See ya later.”

“Well, I‘m glad you found her. It’s almost dark,” Carol said. Daryl nodded. Carol returned his goodbye and watched the two of you fade down the street. All’s well that ends well, she thought. But she knew now there was much more to this story.

Daryl stayed with you while Denise stitched up your hand and made sure there would be no lasting damage, except maybe a bit of lost sensation on that area of your palm. You were ready to be home when she was finished and Daryl walked with you down the dark sidewalks and stopped alongside you at your front door. You turned and gave him a somewhat abashed, small smile. “Thank you. For coming after me today. I might still be in that shed if you hadn’t.”

He nodded. “‘Course. ‘M just glad that yer okay. I was—worried,” he drawled. That would didn’t even begin to encapsulate his feelings. He shifted his weight nervously from one foot to the other, trying hard to ignore the fluttering sensation in his stomach.

Your top teeth dimpled into the softness of your full bottom lip and you considered him for a moment. “Did you, umm, want to come in? I need to grab a shower but then I suspect sleep may be hard to come by tonight.”

Did he want to come in? Fuck yes, he wanted to come in. He managed a nod and followed you inside, the sturdy door shutting out the night behind him.

Could something good really come out of so much fear and anxiety? It seemed, perhaps, that it could.

[alltheirdamn]

Killing Me Softly | (Joel x teacher!f!reader)

Chap. 7 The Past

Summary: Memories of the past suspended in time. Rating: 18+ Word Count: 6k Warnings: *THIS CONTAINS SERIES SPOILERS* Pre-Outbreak AU, mentions of past trauma, mentions of loss and grief, mild violence, language, mentions of alcohol, yearning, angst A/N: Dare I say, this is my favorite chapter yet. If you haven't connected the pieces by now, then this will answer every question you've had. There were so many signs along the way, and I encourage you to go back and find each and every one. I know this doesn't soothe the heartbreak of the cliffhanger but please know this chapter is IMPORTANT. And we can all agree that Joel is the STANDARD. * I want to thank @loonmartell for helping me navigate this idea and creating a beautiful story that is slowly coming to fruition. You are truly a mastermind, and I give you all my thanks and love*

Masterlist | Ko-fi

~Three and a half years ago~

Joel paced the waiting room, consumed with guilt and anger. He shouldn’t have let you leave that night. Bennett had called you asking to meet for dinner under the guise of wanting to give back the things he still had been holding onto. Joel should have gone with you, should have told you to stay, should have broken Bennett’s jaw. Joel couldn’t have forced you to stay; he knew you needed closure. After the downfall of your relationship with Bennett, you deserved answers.

Whatever happened between leaving his house and the accident would remain a mystery, and Joel was ready to track Bennett down to find out the truth, but right now, all that mattered was you. 

Your mom rounded the corner, followed by the doctor, both of their faces grim. Joel’s knees threatened to buckle under him, the worst possible scenarios running through his head. 

“How is she? Is she alright?” He asked, the words jumbled together and confused.

The doctor raised a hand to slow Joel’s frenzy, and your mom’s eyes stared at the floor.

“She’s awake,” the doctor started. “But there were some… complications. We just finished taking her for some tests, and we’ve determined she’s sustained a form of retrograde amnesia.”

“She can’t remember the crash?” Joel questioned. He swiped his sweaty palms over the denim of his jeans, anxiety bubbling in his chest.

“After analyzing her CT scans and running some cognitive tests, it looks like she’s lost a large chunk of her memory,” the doctor explained.

“How large are we talkin’, doc? A few months?”

Your mom stepped forward, placing a hand on Joel’s shoulder. 

“She asked for Bennett when she woke up,” she whispered. 

“What the hell does that mean?” Joel snapped. 

“She has no recollection of the last two years,” the doctor said.

Joel staggered back, dragging a hand down his face. This wasn’t happening. This wasn’t fucking happening.

“You’re tellin’ me she has no memory of me?” Joel shouted. 

“Joel, calm down,” your mom hushed, her eyes darting around the crowded waiting room. 

“Calm down?” He echoed. “Jesus, she doesn’t fuckin’ remember me! I need to see her. I need to—I need to tell her.”

The doctor stepped forward, a frown creasing his face.

“It’s imperative that we don’t disrupt her current condition. Any interference with her memory may cause more complications with the amnesia. If we force these forgotten memories on her, it’ll cause too much stress on her brain and ultimately lead to permanent damage. If we want her to regain her memory, we need to wait.”

“How long?” Joel pleaded. “How long do I need to wait?”

“We don’t know,” the doctor sighed. “With amnesia this serious, it could take weeks or even years. There’s no way to determine the timeline right now.”

Joel’s anger flared up, and he slammed his fist into the wall beside him. The pain radiating up his knuckles and hand was nothing in comparison to the pain splintering inside his chest. He was losing you, and you didn’t even realize it.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Miller,” the doctor said. “I know this isn’t easy, but it’s what’s best for her and her recovery right now.”

“But she doesn’t—.” Joel couldn’t get the words out. 

He crumpled to the ground with his head in his hands—two years' worth of memories together gone in a matter of seconds. You didn’t remember him. You didn’t know Joel loved you; you didn’t remember that you loved him. 

“Joel, sweetie,” your mom cautioned, crouching beside Joel. “You said she was with Bennett before the crash, right?”

Joel lifted his head and glared at your mom through teary eyes. He didn’t want to be reminded that Bennett had returned; he didn’t want to fathom the idea of him being in your life again.

“Don’t tell me you’re seriously thinkin’ about tellin’ him all this,” Joel said. “Y’know what he’s like with her. I can’t let her go and watch her be with him.”

“We need to contact him at least and tell him. If she thinks they’re still together…we must maintain that memory. We have to try. If it’s something Bennett wants and is willing to do, then we have to. I know you want to tell her everything, but her brain is so fragile right now. It’ll scare her, and I can’t risk losing my daughter entirely. Joel, I need you to understand what's best for her.”

“And y’all seriously think Bennett is what’s best for her?” Joel laughed bitterly.

“Of course we don’t, honey. The thought of Bennett comin’ back around kills me, but what if there’s a chance her memory will return sooner than we think? She won’t have to keep him in her life forever, but only until everything comes back to her.”

“And what if it doesn’t? Y’expect me to watch the woman of my dreams love another man? What if one day they get married? Or have kids? I’m supposed to pretend like none of this ever happened?” 

Christ, the thought of that made Joel sick. He didn’t want to see you continue the rest of your life with a man who didn’t treat you right. He couldn’t do this… He couldn’t stomach this plan. 

“Joel, listen to me,” your mom hissed, grabbing him by the collar. “We need to play the long game, okay? I’m not giving up hope on my daughter, and I know you won’t either. You love her, don’t you?”

Joel nodded helplessly, mouthing the word ‘yes.’

“Then wait for her. It won’t be easy for any of us, but we all need to want this. I’ll talk to my husband and the girls about this, and we’ll work through all the details. Lying isn’t easy, but it might be what ends up saving her memory.”

That night, Bennett showed up at the hospital. 

Joel wasn’t in his right mind when Bennett walked into the waiting room. The moment he saw his smug grin and floppy blonde hair, Joel lost it. 

“Motherfucker!” Joel yelled, sending his fist straight into Bennett’s jaw. 

Bennett reeled over, staggering back into a waiting room chair, while your dad pulled Joel away. A murmur of voices among the other bystanders dragged Joel from his vengeful haze, and he stared at Bennett unamused. He wanted to see him suffer the way he had been suffering. 

Bennett worked his jaw back and forth, glaring at Joel as he sat beside your mom. 

“This is the thanks I get for agreeing to meet with you guys?” Bennett huffed. 

“It’s your fault she’s in that fuckin’ bed,” Joel snapped. 

His body still thrummed with unbridled rage, his hands shaking at his sides. Stella, Beth, and your parents were all gathered around the waiting room, taking their respective spots in one of the chairs. Joel couldn’t sit. He didn’t want to be any part of this. 

“Joel,” your dad snapped. “Cool it.”

Joel folded his arms over his chest, staring daggers at Bennett as he made himself comfortable in his chair. Your mom leaned forward, her elbows resting on her knees. 

“Bennett, we need to know what happened before the accident,” she pleaded. “Joel said she was with you, so what happened?”

Bennett shrugged, stretching his legs out and crossing his arms. 

“I asked her to come back,” he said plainly, as if it were that simple. Joel seethed, his body twitching as he tried not to hit Bennett again. 

“Why?” Beth interjected. “You don’t even fucking like my sister. Why would you do that?”

“I do like your sister,” Bennett argued. “I told her I had made a mistake and that I wanted to try to make things work.”

Beth rolled her eyes, a scowl forming on her face. 

“You waited almost two years to make that discovery?” She cackled. “What actually happened?”

Bennett lifted a hand to his jaw, massaging the reddening skin as he quirked a brow at Joel. He was playing with fire; Joel just needed one more reason, and he’d kill Bennett on the spot.

“I told her to meet me for dinner to talk,” Bennett explained. “I still had a few of her stupid books she left behind, so I figured it was a good opportunity to meet with her. I tried to explain my side of things and why I wanted to give us another shot. She just laughed at me. She took her little books and left the restaurant without hearing any more of what I had to say.”

Joel felt a strange sense of pride knowing you had laughed in Bennett’s face, but given the circumstances, it quickly faded. A bitterness flooded his tongue at the thought of you returning to the life you had with Bennett, especially when he spoke of you with such disdain. 

“Why does any of that even matter?” Bennett questioned, looking between your parents.

Your mom cleared her throat and spoke up.

“The accident she was in caused some damage to her brain,” she began. “The doctors determined she has a form of amnesia. She doesn’t remember anything from the last two years.”

Bennett’s eyes grew wide, and he slid Joel a knowing look. 

“She thinks she’s still with me,” Bennett concluded. 

Your mom gave a solemn nod, running a hand through her hair. Joel could see the stress written all over her face, and he could see the pain in her eyes as she realized what was about to happen. 

“The doctors think it’s best not to overwhelm her with the memories she’s lost. We don’t want to do this, but it may be best if she resumes the life she thinks is still intact, which means introducing you back into her life. Is that something you’re open to, Bennett?”

Bennett didn’t say a word for several minutes. All he did was stare at his hands in silent contemplation. Beth and Stella sat unmoving, and Joel caught Stella sneaking glances ever so often. Finally, Bennett turned to Joel and studied him before speaking.

“And you’re in agreement with this?” He asked.

Joel gave a single nod, though he was reluctant to do so.

“I’m willin’ to wait for her. She needs time to regain those memories, and I don’t wanna cause any stress on her if she thinks she’s still with you. Trust me, I ain’t happy ‘bout it, but I love her.”

“And if she doesn’t get those memories back?” Bennett pressed.

“Then you better make her the happiest girl in the world and never fuck things up again,” Joel frowned. “I swear I’ll hunt you down if y’ever hurt her. I love her with my whole fuckin’ heart, and I’d do anythin’ to make sure she’s happy.”

“I love her, too, you know.”

Joel had a hard time believing Bennett, but there was a seriousness in Bennett’s eyes that made Joel’s heart ache. He was giving up the one good thing in his life to someone who didn’t deserve your love. Joel was a patient man, but that didn’t stop his heart from breaking. Who knew if you’d ever remember him again? He would have to live his life knowing you may never come back and that he’d have to carry that pain with him every single day. Hope was a fickle thing, one he would rather forego if he could just tell you the truth, but this was his only option. Joel would have to give you up. And he would do it because he loved you beyond all measure. 

Your parents took Bennett to meet with the doctors to discuss your current condition and the future it would entail. Joel stayed behind with Beth and Stella, the three of them blanketed by an insurmountable pain that couldn’t be healed. 

“What if we never see you again?” Stella asked, her eyes full of tears. 

Joel sat beside her, pulling her into his arms and letting her head rest on his shoulder. She was only fifteen, but Joel knew she was aware of the gravity of the situation. Even though she was older than Sarah, he always viewed Stella like another daughter; he had watched her grow up the last two years, and Joel adored her just as much as he did for his daughter. 

“Y’gotta stay strong for me, Stell,” Joel sighed, squeezing her shoulder. “She's gonna get those memories back one day, and I’ll be right there when she does. None of y’all will ever lose me. I swear that to you.”

Stella sniffled back tears, curling into Joel’s embrace. He glanced at Beth beside him, giving her a sad smile.

“I’m trustin’ you to look out for her, okay?” He said. “She needs you more than anyone. I know you ain’t happy ‘bout all of this, and I sure as hell ain’t either, but it’s gonna be okay.”

“I don’t agree with any of this,” she grumbled. “I hate him, Joel. I hate all of this.”

“I hate it, too, Beth,” Joel said. “But I love her more, and I’m willin’ to wait for her.”

Beth exhaled, slumping back into the chair. Joel could tell she wanted to say more, but she held her tongue. Joel knew Beth’s anger ran deep for Bennett, and he hoped she’d learn to give you grace through all this. It wasn’t your fault this decision was being made. It was what they all thought was best. 

Your mom returned an hour later to gather the girls and usher them home for the rest of the night. Joel’s head was throbbing from all of the stress, and he was on edge, knowing his time with you was running out. 

“Is she asleep?” Joel asked.

“The doctors gave her a heavy sedative to help her get through the night,” your mom explained. “In the morning, they’ll run a few more tests and figure out when it’ll be okay to discharge her.”

“Can I see her?” He pleaded. “Just so I can say goodbye?” 

The words tasted like ash on his tongue. Goodbye was a word he never wanted to associate with you. He wanted the good nights and good mornings but never a goodbye.

“Of course, sweetie,” your mom said, tears slipping down her face. 

Joel realized he wasn’t just saying goodbye to you but to your family as well. A family that had welcomed him in so quickly, a family he had spent holidays with and visited in the summer, he was losing an entire group of people he loved so dearly. 

Joel thought he was strong enough to see you, but as he opened the hospital door, he realized how wrong he was. Your face was littered with cuts and bruises, your right eye swollen shut, and your hair matted down with dried blood. It took every ounce of his energy not to collapse at the sight of you lying there, and he moved on unsteady legs to your bedside. 

He barely managed to say your name as the syllables broke out in a choked sob. He took your hand, his thumb smoothing lines over your balmy skin. Tears fell onto your fingers as he lifted your hand to his mouth, crying softly as he pressed a kiss against it.

“Oh, baby,” he cried. “I love you so fuckin’ much. I’m so fuckin’ sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m so—.”

Joel wept over your body for what felt like an eternity. He let his head hit the bed, your hand pressed against his wet cheek, inhaling the lingering scent of your perfume. Every memory with you flooded his mind: mornings spent together drinking coffee, lazy afternoons laying on the couch while you read your favorite books, weekends at the soccer fields with Sarah. 

Joel’s life had flipped upside down in the span of just a few hours, and you’d never know the decision he had to make for the sake of your health. He wasn’t the praying type, but if there were a God up there, he’d spend every night on his knees begging for you to come home to him. 

“I love you, baby,” Joel whispered. “Even if you never remember it, I’ll carry you with me forever.”

Joel leaned up to kiss your forehead, his lips lingering a second too long. He never wanted to leave this room because everything would be gone once he did. All he’d have left were the memories and an undying hope you’d wake up one day remembering his face. 

Joel spent the next two days gathering your things from his house. He piled your books into a box, along with the miscellaneous items you had littered his home with. He clung to your shirts and held them to his chest, wishing it was you in his arms. Scattered on the fridge were Polaroid pictures you had taken of Joel throughout the two years, and he slipped them away for when he was ready to relive the memories—not yet, but one day. 

Sarah came home from school and saw the boxes next to the front door, giving Joel a weary look.

“What’s happening?” She asked.

Joel crouched in front of her, taking her head in his hands. He managed to say your name without faltering and explained everything to his daughter in the simplest way he could.

“She doesn’t remember me?” Sarah murmured, her eyes welling with tears. 

Joel hadn’t realized the heartbreak Sarah would be facing, too.

“No, sweetheart,” Joel shook his head. “But one day she will, I promise. You’ll be my tough girl and help Daddy through this, alright? We’re gonna wait for her ‘cause she’s gonna come back. I promise she’ll be back one day, and she’ll be right there on the sidelines again cheerin’ you on.”

“I’m gonna miss her,” Sarah cried, crashing into Joel’s chest and wrapping him into a hug.

“I’m gonna miss her too, sweetheart.”

~ Two years ago ~

Joel’s phone rang well past midnight. Through tired eyes, he searched for it on his nightstand and prayed it was you, but an unknown number lit up the screen, and Joel’s heart stopped.

“Hello?” He answered, his voice roughened from sleep.

“I can’t do it.”

It was Bennett’s voice, frantic and shaky. Joel shot up in bed, his heart pounding out of his chest.

“What do y’mean you ‘can’t do it’?” Joel questioned.

“I—I can’t do it, man. We’re supposed to get married tomorrow, and I can’t fucking do it. She’s making me crazy. You know she says your name in her sleep? She still can’t remember shit, yet all she does is say your name when she’s sleeping. I’m losing my mind.” He was rambling through words so quickly Joel could barely keep up.

“Y’can’t just leave her like this,” Joel said. “Do y’know how much you’re gonna hurt her? You waited ‘til now to decide you didn’t wanna go through with the weddin’? Y’know how fuckin’ stupid you are?”

Bennett exhaled loudly through the receiver, his voice dropping to a whisper.

“I’m never going to make her happy, and she won’t make me happy. I’m not doing this.”

Joel scrubbed a hand over his face and stared up at the ceiling fan, turning above the bed.

“Alright, listen,” Joel started. “You get your shit together, and you leave. Find some job in another state and never come back. She doesn’t deserve this, and she definitely doesn’t deserve the heartbreak you’re ‘bout to give her. So, you take your ass and get the fuck out of town. And I swear, if you ever come back or even try to contact her again, I will kill you. Do y’understand me? I will fuckin’ kill you.”

“You’re threatening a future lawyer?” Bennett laughed. 

“I don’t give a damn what you are, Bennett. I’ll take a gun to your head the next time I see you and not even think twice ‘bout pullin’ the trigger,” Joel threatened, speaking through clenched teeth.

“She’ll never forgive you for it,” Bennett countered. “And don’t even think about coming back into her life, either. She’s better off without either one of us. God help the next guy who tries to get with her. She’s a fucking wreck.”

Joel seethed, the room going red. How dare Bennett talk about you like this? Joel should have never left you. He should have fought harder. He should have killed Bennett before he could have ever had the chance to come back. 

“I suggest you pack your shit quick, or I’ll find you ‘fore the night is over,” Joel growled. “Get the fuck out of town, you fuckin’ piece of shit.”

Joel slammed his phone shut and slumped against the headboard. Bennett would be out of your life, but at what cost? He knew this would destroy you. God, he couldn’t even fathom the heartbreak you’d face in the morning when you arrived for the wedding. Joel didn’t even let himself imagine what you’d look like, dressed in a beautiful white wedding gown. Bennett didn’t deserve you; he never did. But Joel didn’t deserve you either. You were too good for either of them. 

~ Three months ago ~ 

“Dad, I need to tell you something,” Sarah announced, walking through the front door.

She had just finished her first day of school, and Joel had gotten off work early to be home in time to hear all about it. 

The last two years had been a blur of endless work days and long nights spent drinking in the dark. He was drowning himself away in bottles of whiskey, trying to forget you and the pain that still lingered. He had considered going to you so many times to spill the truth and beg you to come back into his life. But he knew better than that. He knew you deserved a normal life without the reminder of the past. 

Joel looked up from the stove where he was cooking dinner. Sarah's face was etched with concern, and her lips trembled as she tried to speak.

“Sweetheart, what is it?” Joel panicked. 

He dropped the spatula on the counter and rushed to Sarah’s side, holding her firm by the shoulders.

“My—my teacher,” she muttered. “It’s her.”

Joel felt the world tilt on its axle, his body swaying at Sarah’s words. 

“Tell me y’didn’t say anythin’ to her,” Joel begged. 

“No, I—I didn’t. I swear. I don’t even know what I would say,” Sarah rambled. 

“Okay, alright. It’s okay. It’s okay,” Joel exhaled. He needed to sit down. 

Pulling out one of the dining chairs, Joel collapsed entirely, burying his head in his hands. Sarah rubbed a hand over his back, gently attempting to soothe him.

“Maybe this is your chance, Dad,” Sarah suggested. “It’s been enough time now. Maybe she’ll be able to handle the truth about everything.”

Joel loved Sarah’s optimism and her bright outlook on everything. Whenever Joel was ready to give up hope, Sarah was right there to guide him back. She was right, it was an opportunity to start over again, but he didn’t want to fuck it up. He wouldn’t lose you twice. 

“I’ll think ‘bout it, okay?” Joel sighed. “Let me finish cookin’ dinner, and y’can tell me all ‘bout your day.”

Joel sat across from Sarah, his food untouched the entire time she talked. He had no appetite. All he wanted to do was ask her about you: what you looked like, what your voice sounded like, what books you would teach the class. He knew poetry was your favorite. You would stay up late reading together in bed. You would always chime in with little factoids or comments about the book, and Joel would always sit there listening to every word. Shakespeare was your favorite, and Joel loved watching your face scrunch with concentration as you tried to explain the meaning behind each play. When he packed up your things three and a half years ago, he secretly kept your copy of Romeo and Juliet. Sometimes, when he was drunk enough, Joel would flip through the pages just to trace over your scribbled words and annotations, just to relive a moment kept in secret between the two of you. 

Now, his daughter would experience your passion for teaching firsthand. He was a proud son of a bitch, knowing you were following your dreams. 

“Dad,” Sarah’s voice cut through Joel’s wandering thoughts.

He glanced up from his full plate and shook his head.

“Sorry, sweetheart. What did you say?”

“I was saying there’s a father-daughter dance in a couple of weeks,” she repeated. “Maybe she’ll be there. You could see her again.”

“Yeah, maybe. I gotta see if I can get ‘round work to be there.”

Joel was all too familiar with Sarah's look of disappointment; he had seen it far too often these last couple of years. His role as a father had been lacking for a while now; he was lost in the haze of losing you, so much so that he was losing himself. Unfortunately, Sarah had been the one suffering the most because of it. 

“I’ll make it work, sweetheart,” Joel decided. “I promise.”

After Sarah went to bed, Joel sat on the couch, nursing a short glass of whiskey. He stared at the liquid as he swirled it around, the amber color shimmering under the dim light of the lamp beside him. His phone lay open on his thigh, Beth’s number sitting there waiting to be dialed. Joel had barely spoken to your sister since he last saw her at the hospital, but he knew she would be his first call. 

Dialing her number, Joel took a long sip of his drink and waited.

“Joel?” Beth exhaled, her voice groggy from sleep.

“Hey, yeah.” Joel cleared his throat. “It’s me. I, um, I have some news.”

“Did she…” Beth’s voice trailed off.

“No, no. Not yet, at least. Um, Sarah’s first day of school was today, and I found out she’s her teacher. Funny how that happens, right?” 

“Wait, my sister? Actually?” Beth sounded shocked.

“Yup,” Joel sighed. “Sarah thinks I should try and talk to her, Whatdaya think?”

Beth remained silent, and Joel cleared the contents of his glass as he waited.

“I don’t know if telling her everything right away is smart,” she said. “I mean, I haven’t talked to her a lot in the past couple of years, so maybe I’m wrong.”

“Y’all haven’t talked?” Joel questioned.

“She and I haven’t spoken since the whole wedding ordeal,” she confessed. 

“Wait, why?”

Joel sat up, one hand clutching the phone, the other smoothing over the curls sticking up on the crown of his head. He never thought you and Beth would ever be on bad terms.

“I warned her about Bennett. I tried to talk her into leaving so many times, but she was so stubborn. I don’t know what he said or did to her to make her stay, but she was always at his defense. I hated seeing her with him, Joel. It should have always been you.”

“I know, Beth. I know.”

“Have you considered maybe completely starting over?” Beth asked.

“Like in what way? Datin’?”

“Yeah. Maybe introduce yourself and see where things go. She might not regain her memory, but you’d have new memories together. She deserves to be loved the right way, and you’re the one who can give her that. Take things slow and test the water. You never know.”

Joel considered the idea for a moment. It could work, but what if it didn’t? What if he completely fucked up his second chance with you? He would have to live the rest of his life knowing he lost you twice.

“You’re suggestin’ I lie to her?” Joel scoffed.

“No,” Beth argued, her voice stern. “I’m suggesting you work your charm like you did the first time and see where it goes. She loved you once before, Joel. I think she could love you again.”

Beth’s words were enough of a push for Joel actually to consider that this might work. He knew you. He knew what you liked and didn’t like; he knew every tiny piece of you so that it wouldn’t be hard to sweep you off your feet again. The only problem he had with the plan was lying. If you ever found out the truth, it would crush you. And that terrified him. He didn’t want to break your heart; Bennett had done a good enough job of it, and Joel would never be like him. He would be better. He would prove himself. 

“Do y’think your family would agree to this?” Joel asked.

“None of us ever gave up hope, Joel,” Beth sighed. “This could be a chance for all of us to get her back—to get the old version of her back. We miss her a lot.”

“I miss her, too.”

“Go get your girl, Joel. She’s waiting for you.”

Joel spent that night wide awake in bed. The idea he could have you back in his life again set his body alight with a mixture of anxiety and fear. Beth could be right; you could love him again. There was that hope that maybe he could rewrite the past and start anew, but there was also that terrible fear you could slip away from him…permanently. You never regained your memories, and there was a good chance you never would, but not taking this risk would condemn Joel to a life full of grief. He knew grief well; he had walked side by side with it for the last three and a half years. If he could just hold you for one moment and hear you say his name one more time, that would be enough.

When Joel awoke the following day, he had made up his mind; he would keep fighting for you. 

He called Maria before school began and explained it all to her. Joel knew Maria had taken the news of your accident the hardest; you and her had always been close. She was like a mother to you here in Austin. Learning how to navigate around your memory loss had been tricky for her, but Joel knew she had done right by you. 

It was no surprise when Maria squealed with excitement over the phone, meticulously creating a master plan to bring you both together again. She promised to talk you into chaperoning the father-daughter dance and vowed to continue pushing you his way. Joel had to remind Maria that he was the one in control here; he needed to be the one to make everything work. Knowing everyone was on his side and willing to help ease his mind. 

He was going to get you back. 

~ Two Months Ago ~

Joel was running late. He had forgotten entirely about the father-daughter dance, and now he was speeding through yellow lights to make it home. He promised Sarah he’d go, but if he was being honest, the thought of seeing you again made him overwhelmingly nervous. What would he say to you? What would you think of him? What if he ruined his second chance?

Bolting through the garage, Joel called out for Sarah in a rush. She came barreling down the stairs in a blur of lavender and Joel had to stop his racing thoughts to admire his daughter.

“Oh, sweetheart,” Joel smiled. “Y’look beautiful.”

“You’re late,” she frowned. “We need to go now.”

She tugged his hand back toward the garage and into the truck. While Joel grappled with the reality that he was going to see you again, Sarah was buzzing with excitement. She saw you every day at school, but this was different. She wasn’t just seeing you… she was going to see you and Joel together in the same room since before the accident. Sarah never got to say a proper goodbye when everything happened, and Joel knew it was hard for Sarah to maintain a semblance of composure every time she sat at her school desk. The memories of you two together were embedded so deep it was hard for Sarah to ignore. Before the school year, Sarah would try to talk about you with Joel from time to time, trying to cling to the nostalgia of the past. Joel knew the suffering wasn’t just his alone; Sarah lost you that day, too. 

Joel’s hands were shaking as he put the truck in park, his eyes unsteady as he tried to focus on the school's entrance. You were somewhere inside that gymnasium; he could feel it. It was like a silent call, a tug on an invisible string, an asteroid coming into orbit. You were the pull on his gravity, just beckoning him closer. 

“Dad, c’mon!” Sarah begged, unlocking the door.

She was already skipping down the parking lot before Joel could put his keys in his back pocket. He urged her to return so they could walk inside together—maybe because he needed the moral support. He had everyone on his side for this plan, but if he fucked it up, it wouldn’t just be his loss. It would be everyone’s. 

The gymnasium was covered in twinkling lights, and the basketball court transformed into a dance floor for the evening. Joel’s eyes bounced around the room, searching for you within the crowd. Through the crowd of moving bodies, he couldn’t find you. Maybe you weren’t here; maybe it was too late. 

Joel refused to be defeated this quickly and decided to remain focused on Sarah. At the end of the day, this dance was for her. He watched as she mingled with her friends, fawning over each other's dresses and gossiping about the latest drama. Joel remained on the outer edge of the dance floor, his palms damp from sweat and his pulse racing. 

The music shifted to a slow song, and Sarah quickly found Joel and pulled him onto the dancefloor. Seeing her excitement alleviated the bundle of anxiety pulsating inside his chest. He watched as her dress floated around her with every turn, the dimples on her face appearing as he continued twirling her around. The music was slowly drifting to a close, and Joel ushered Sarah in for one last spin. He couldn’t contain the smile on his face as he watched her happiness radiate into the space around him. He maneuvered himself around her twirling body and glanced up toward the side of the gym.

Everything around him ceased to exist at that moment. Amidst the blurring bodies and the chaos of voices, the world stood still. There you were, standing quietly in the shadows, your body bathed in flickering lights, like a lighthouse in the distance of a stormy sea. Joel silently pleaded for you to look at him, even for a second.

As if you heard his thoughts, your eyes met his for a fleeting moment, and it’s as if you saw him. The room melted away, and it was just you and him for the briefest moment in time. Joel swore you looked at him as if you remembered…as if you had searched the room just to find him. The erratic beating of his heart slowed, his body recognizing the strange comfort of your presence even at a distance. Every cell, every atom, every piece of himself cried out to you. 

You saw him.

And he smiled.

[syoish-aot]

"I Found You" - EREN X READER, REVERSE ISEKAI - Part 2

okay okay I'll post more...

reader/eren

post canon, reverse isekai, memory loss

currently rated T

word count: 1147 [updated June 27]

<- PART 1 | PART 3 ->

*********

“Who the hell are you?”

You’re pinned to the bed below Eren. One of his hands is firmly against your wrist to keep you from moving (although it’s obvious to him that you don’t have the strength to fight against his hold, even if you tried). 

He stares down at you, his heart hammering against his chest in a mix of anxiety and confusion.

How the hell do you know who he was, but he has no memory of you? Or this bed? Or this room? Or anything besides Mikasa’s blade against his throat and the tears lining her eyes. 

You’re trembling below him, clearly terrified, indicating that you’re equally clearly not a threat. 

Eren’s not sure what’s going on here, but he doesn’t want to do anything too rash and complicate things further. 

So he lets you go.

“Sorry.” He mumbles as he pulls away from you and sits on the edge of the bed.

Immediately you sit up and turn towards him. “Are you okay?” You ask, staring with eyes wide and clear concern splashed across your face.

For some reason, it causes Eren’s stomach to twist uncomfortably, even though he has no idea who you are. He says nothing.

“Did you have another nightmare?” You ask softly.

The way you say it indicates that this may be a common occurrence. So he lies: “Yes.” He answers. “Sorry. Guess it freaked me out a bit.”

You give him a comforting smile and, again, it causes his stomach to twist.

“Don’t worry about it,” you say softly. “You’re awake now, right? So everything’s okay.” You lean forward to kiss his cheek before pulling yourself out of bed. “Armin said we needed to be at the restaurant at one.”

“Armin?” Eren quickly asks.

You can’t help but laugh at the way Eren is looking at you. His eyes are wide, eyebrows raised, lips parted just slightly as he sucks in a breath. “Yeah, Armin.” You confirm. “And everyone else.”

“Who else?”

You sigh. “Eren, you really need to get better at remembering the plans we make.”

“Who’s going to be there?” Eren repeats, ignoring your comment.

You laugh as you stand so you can cross the room to finish putting on your makeup in front of the large mirror next to your dresser.

“Besides you, me, and Armin, Niccolo obviously. I’m still surprised he managed to plan the whole thing.” You joke as you start on your eyeliner. “Reiner, Bertholdt, Annie, and Marco for sure because they’re reliable when it comes to making plans. Historia texted me yesterday and said Ymir didn’t want to come because apparently she and Reiner still aren’t over that fight they had last week. Oh my god speaking of that fight, did you know that they put it on pause to go get beers together at Maria’s? Literally just went ‘I hate you but we have to watch this game together so we’ll be friends for a night and then go back to our bullshit’. Honestly, I commend them for being able to do that.” You laugh. “Anyway, if Historia is set on coming, Ymir will still show up and we can see that drama unfold in real-time. Sasha will be there for the food, Pieck will be there for the booze, Porco will be there for the Pieck being there for the booze. Obviously Jean’s going to be there and you better behave. Connie, duh! And Mikasa finally flew back into town so she’ll-”

“Mikasa’s going to be there?” There’s something to the way he says it. This strange… hope in his tone. It leaves you confused.

“Yes?” You answer. Or maybe you’re asking, you aren’t too sure. “Didn’t she call you to talk about it literally last night?” He’s still staring at you but you shrug and turn back to the mirror. “Now get your perfectly sculpted ass out of bed so you can get ready or we’ll be late.”

Without saying another word, Eren stands up and leaves the bedroom.

If you hadn’t known any better, you would have thought he hesitated at the door, glancing around the apartment because he wasn’t sure of the layout.

But you and Eren had been living there together for over a year.

So it wouldn’t make sense for him to be confused.

It wouldn’t make sense at all…

***

Eren fumbled his way through getting ready. He tried his best not to talk to you because talking to you was… confusing.

Anytime you were too close to him or your eyes met in a specific way, his stomach would erupt into butterflies as his heart felt like it began beating ten times faster.

It was a purely physical reaction to your closeness and it was- it was… odd. 

To say the least.

It felt like his head and his body had different ideas of who you were. 

In his head: you were a stranger. Someone who’s name he could barely remember (and had almost forgotten several times). You were confusing, potentially dangerous, but obviously some sort of key to figuring out what was going on; which became especially apparent as you rattled off the names of almost everyone he knew.

In his body: you were everything. You were someone he felt an intense desire to touch. To feel. To be around. His body pulled him towards you at every opportunity it got, sometimes even to the point that he had to physically stop himself from reaching out to take your hand, grabbing you by the wrist- kissing you. And every time it happened he could recall what it would feel like to follow through with those movements. Somehow he knew the warmth of your lips on his, your body flush against him, your fingers curled into his palm- fitting so perfectly, like your hand was meant to be there. Instinct. His reaction to your presence was pure instinct.

And he had no idea what to make of that.

But when you’d told him that the two of you were meant to be somewhere and rattled off names of people he knew (and not in the way that he “knew” you, these were people he actually knew), he hoped that talking to them would clear things up.

So, he spent the morning playing the part. Doing what you told him to. Following you around the strange apartment that the two of you, apparently, called home.

He didn’t want to alert suspicion, not yet.

Especially when you said Mikasa’s name and his stomach sank.

“There.” You said with a smile as you finished knotting his tie and pulled it perfectly tight against his neck. Your hands moved to his shoulders, flattening out his dress shirt. 

                           Who were you?

    Who were you?

                                                                            Who were you?

It’s all Eren could think as you smiled up at him and his whole body felt like it was on fire.

[dixons-sunshine]

Drawing Me | Scud Frohmeyer x Fem!Reader

A/N: Requested by @caseylicious. I’m so sorry it took me years to get to this request of yours. I hope I did your idea some justice!

“Just taking notes, huh?”

At the sound of Scud’s voice, you looked up from the notebook in your hands and locked eyes with his cerulean-coloured ones. The man in question was hiding something behind his back, his lips tugged up in a slight smirk.

“Yeah?” you agreed in confusion, holding up the notebook in your hands for added emphasis, showing him the notes you had been taking regarding his weapons. “What else would I be doing?”

Scud shrugged and moved to sit down next to you on the table, his legs dangling off the surface. “Oh, I don’t know,” he began, bringing a book into view—more specifically, your sketchbook. Your breath caught in your throat as you watched him open it up, not needing to go any further than the first page, a page which held a detailed sketch of the man himself. “Could you maybe be drawing me?”

Your heart started pounding in your chest. What could you possibly say to diffuse the situation? ‘Oh, sorry. I just find you incredibly adorable and cute and also very attractive so I had to draw you, multiple times’? There was absolutely nothing your mind could come up with at that moment that could make the situation better.

“I’m so sorry. I should’ve asked you before I did that,” you began to frantically apologize, your eyes looking anywhere but at Scud. “I’m so sorry. I promise I’ll get rid of them. They’re not even that good. I’m so—”

“What the hell are you goin’ on about?” Scud interrupted you, a light laugh escaping from his chest. “These are great! I love them.” He began flipping through the pages, nearly each one of them containing a different drawing of him doing various activities: building gadgets, lounging on the couch, smoking a joint, playing video games. There was even one of them depicting him eating his beloved doughnuts. There was no denying, at least in Scud’s mind, that you were immensely talented. “I’m amazed that you managed to make me look even hotter than I already am. Hell, can I have these? I wanna show them off.”

You were at a loss for words. He... liked them? He wasn’t freaked out by you seemingly obsessively drawing him? What? “You like them?” you inquired in a quiet tone of voice, wiping the sweat that had formed on your hands away on your jeans.

Scud nodded with a huge smile. “Fuck yeah, I do.” Scud’s smile turned more genuine when you let out a light, surprised laugh, the sound warming his heart. He scooted closer to you and wrapped his arm around your shoulder, bringing you closer to him, unknowingly making your heart speed up at the action. “You’re an amazing artist. I don’t know why you were so worried.”

“I thought you’d be freaked out by how many times I’ve drawn you,” you voiced, laying your head down on his shoulder. This was a normal occurrence for you. Scud was physical in your friendship. Hugs, cheek kisses, moments like these. It didn’t mean anything, did it?

Scud scoffed and rolled his eyes affectionately, squeezing your shoulder once. “Please. I don’t get scared off easily. Besides, I think it’s cute that you have a little crush on me.”

It was your turn to scoff, but in an attempt to hide your embarrassment at the fact that he was right about that. However, you wouldn’t tell him that. “In your dreams, Scuddy boy.” Scud chuckled. It fell silent for a few moments after that. However, when Scud spoke up again, you couldn’t help the laugh that escaped you.

“Think you could draw me naked?”

“Now you’re just taking chances.”

“Can’t blame a man for tryin’.”

[pedrospatch]

unconditional l a safe haven drabble

Jackson! Joel Miller x Female Reader

series masterlist

summary: After your first night together in the barn, Joel tells you he’s worried about the possibility of you getting pregnant; You tell him that he doesn’t have anything to worry about and it leads to a heartfelt conversation—and realization.

warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI. talk of infertility, mention of pregnancy loss, reader admits Luke makes her feel insecure about her condition, hurt, comfort, soft Joel, dash of fluff sprinkled in at the end.

Word Count: 1.6k

a/n: this drabble centers around a sensitive subject, so please be sure to read all of the tags! i know back in chapter five, the subject of reader not being able to have kids was touched on but i still want to make sure I give a good, proper warning. as someone who struggles with reproductive health (PCOS girlie here) i know i can get down about things of this nature so again please proceed with caution if this is a subject that might be hard for you to read about.

This takes place between chapters six and seven.

You lean forward against the wooden, paddock fence with your folded arms resting gently on top of it. 

Joel stands behind you, his chest pressed into your back—his arms encircled you, comfortably caging you between the fence and his body with both his hands planted firmly on the wood on either side of you. His chin rests on top of your head, and every so often you would feel him press a soft kiss into your hair or on the delicate spot on your neck, right behind your ear.

He’d been quiet tonight—a bit too quiet.

Something is off.

You can feel it in your bones.

About twenty four hours ago, the both of you had taken the leap and slept together for the first time. Part of you couldn’t help but begin to spiral a little bit as you began to wonder if Joel had any regrets about what you two had done.

You certainly hoped that wasn’t the case

Because you sure as hell didn’t regret it.

“Joel,” you say his name tentatively.

You’re met with a questioning hum. “Hm?”

“You’ve been awfully quiet,” you state, physically cringing at just how painfully obvious the anxious edge in your tone had been. “Everything alright?”

Joel sighs, his warm breath tickling your ear. He moves one of his hands and places it on your arm, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Sorry, my sweet girl. I just—my mind’s a bit preoccupied, that’s all it is.”

“About what?”

He hesitates, but then replies, “‘Bout last night.”

Your heart sinks deep into the pit of your stomach.

“You regret it, don’t you?” you blurt out before you can stop yourself.

“Wait, what?” Joel swiftly turns you around in his arms and he takes you by your shoulders. He shakes his head furiously. “No. That ain’t it. That ain’t it at all, peach. ‘Course I don’t regret it—are you crazy?”

You frown at him. “Then what is it, Joel?”

Once again, he hesitates. His hands fall away from your shoulders and he takes a step or two backwards, his gaze unable to meet yours. “The thing is, we were so caught up in the heat of the moment that—well neither of us even thought ‘bout protection,” he’d mumbled the last part of his sentence so quietly it had barely been audible. Even in the darkness, the redness burning his face and neck over the nature of the conversation was evident. “We just went for it without even thinkin’ ‘bout protection and I’ll be honest, baby. S’got me a bit worried, y’know?”

You raise an eyebrow at him.

Jackson is fortunate to have an abundance of a lot of things—condoms aren’t one of them.

“It’s okay, Joel,” you assure him after a minute or two of silence. “I’m clean. Luke is the only person I have ever been with besides you, and he’s been so tired from working so much over the last couple of months that he hardly even touches me—”

“That ain’t what I’m worried ‘bout, darlin’.”

You stare at him with a puzzled look.

Then, a split second later, it sinks in.

“You’re worried about getting me pregnant,” you realize, slowly. 

It’s Joel’s turn to seem confused.

“‘Course I’m worried. I finished inside of you last night—wait just a minute, ain’t you worried ‘bout it?”

Your lips part in slight surprise.

Ellie knows about your condition, but Joel doesn’t.

Well, that girl certainly knows how to keep a secret.

“I’m not worried, actually,” you tell him. “Because I can’t get pregnant. It’s not possible.”

He breathes out in relief. “You’re on birth control.”

You toss him an amused glance. “Yeah, you can find bottles of birth control pills in the commune’s market right next to the condom aisle.”

Joel glares at you. “That supposed to be funny?”

Your small smile fades and you look down, your eyes fixing themselves on the dirt. “Actually, there is something you should probably know about me. I, um, I can’t—” You pause just long enough to let out a heavy sigh. “I can’t have children, Joel.”

Although you can’t see him, you feel him staring at you. You can  feel the way his eyes had gone wide, the way his mouth fell open in surprise. 

“There’s a reason that me and Luke never had any kids over the course of our marriage. And it’s hard to admit it, but that reason is me.” Mustering a bit of courage, you finally bring your eyes up off of the ground and look at Joel. “We tried for a really long time to have children. I did get pregnant once, but then I lost it. That was a couple of years ago. I was never able to get pregnant again, so I think it’s fair for us to assume that I’m the problem.”

Joel frowns. “Don’t say it like that.”

“Like what?”

“You said that you’re the problem.”

“But I am—”

“That doesn’t make you a problem,” he says as he takes a step towards you. He grabs both of your hands, holding them firmly in his own. “It doesn’t make you a problem, peach. You not bein’ able to have children doesn’t mean there’s anythin’ wrong with you, alright? So don’t fuckin’ say it like that. I ain’t gonna let you.”

You can’t help but let out a bitter laugh. “Yeah, well my husband certainly thinks otherwise.”

Anger flashes across Joel’s features. “He say somethin’ to you ‘bout it?”

“He’ll throw it right in my face whenever we fight,” you mumble to him in admission, feeling a batch of warm tears sting at your eyes. More than being saddened by your inability to conceive, you feel so damn humiliated. Over the years, Luke had all but drilled it into your brain that there must have been something wrong with you if you couldn’t bear his child—what if Joel thought the same? What if he’d start to think something was wrong with you now that he knew the truth? “I’ve accepted that I won’t ever be a mother, Joel. As much as it used to hurt me, I have done my very best to make peace with it because there’s nothing else I can do. But Luke? He can’t do the same. He always wanted a family and I couldn’t give him one.”

“Darlin’—”

“He always makes me feel like me not being able to have a baby makes me less of a woman.” A hot, stubborn tear slips down the side of your face. “And if I’m being honest, sometimes I can’t help but to think maybe I am less of a woman for it.”

Joel squeezes your hands. “Now you listen to me, m’gonna need you to stop that right now,” he all but demands. His voice is tough and firm, but somehow still gentle at the same time. “You don’t say that ever again, you understand me? That couldn’t be any fuckin’ further from the truth.”

“But—”

“Baby. Hey.” Joel drops one of your hands from his. He lifts his hand up towards your face and he hooks an index finger underneath your chin—his eyes meet yours as he delicately tilts your head up towards his. Simultaneously, he leans down and the tip of his nose brushes yours. “There’s no fuckin’ but here, darlin’. You are the most amazin’ woman that I’ve ever met in my whole, entire life. If Luke is too much of a fuckin’ idiot to see how perfect you are, that’s his fuckin’ problem. The way I see it, you’re too much woman for him and he doesn’t deserve somebody like you.”

Your free hand flies to your mouth, muffling a sob.

Joel Miller loves you.

He hasn’t said it yet, but you know that he does. 

And not only does Joel love you, but his love, it’s unconditional.

It’s unconditional, it’s pure, and it’s real.

You’ve never known a feeling like this. Never in your life did you think you would even have the chance to know a feeling like this.

Not until Joel had come along.

Joel gingerly wipes at your face with the back of his hand. “I didn’t mean to make you cry darlin’—”

“It’s okay. I just—I didn’t know something like this was possible.” you release a small, tearful laugh.

“Somethin’ like what?” he asks, bringing his lips close to yours. He had known what you’d meant to say, but he needed to hear you say it out loud. He knew slapping a label on what the two of you had wouldn’t make a difference because regardless, it’s solid. He has never been so sure of someone or something in his life. Still, Joel would be lying if he said that he didn’t want to hear you say it and simply confirm what he already knew. “Somethin’ like what, sweet girl?”

You shiver at the way his mouth hovers about a centimeter or two over yours, so close but so far away from where you need it to be. Placing your hands on his chest, you peer up at him through the thickness of your eyelashes and say shyly, “I didn’t know a relationship like this was possible.”

An inexplicable warmth radiates throughout every inch of Joel’s body at the word.

Relationship.

“You make me happy, Joel. So incredibly, stupidly happy,” you confess to him. “You make me feel wanted, you make me feel beautiful—”

He cuts you off, pressing his mouth to yours softly. 

After a brief moment, he pulls back slightly and murmurs against your lips, “C’mon, let’s head on over to the barn so I can spend the next couple of hours really makin’ you feel beautiful.”

[thatone-brightstar]

More than all the stars (Carmy Berzatto x Fem!Reader) (The Bear & The Fox Series)

Chapter 3: My darling, my dearest, my dead.

Words: 4k

a/n: Hi, hello!! so we finally meet the dreaded ex and even though you can imagine who you like, since writing it i always had Oscar Isaac in mind bc THAT MAN MAKES ME FEEL THINGS and also he makes one hell of a villain so you can't really blame me.

anyway, enjoy the chapter and remember that reblogs and comments are the way to show appreciation for your favorite creators and lmk if you wanna be added to the taglist!

Chapter 2.

He could have done more than just stand there- looking at her with that stupid expression over his face- the one many use when all the words have evaporated into thin air. But then again, what could he say, especially to someone he assumed he’d never see again? Her expression sat stoic, apart from the slightly raised eyebrows waiting in expectation, there was nothing in her face that revealed the storm inside her head.

“So?” She spoke over the ringing in his ears and brought him back from his memories. “You gonna say something or just pretend I’m not here?”

“Uhm, H-hey…?”

“Hi.” She repeated with certain disdain and a dry smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes.

He felt like a fish out of water, mouth rounding around the words but never able to truly push them past his throat. “Wha- what uhm, what are- uh…”

“I’m on holiday.” She answered for him and shrugged, cutting his torture short, though he thought that was more than he deserved. “I wanted to see what the great Beef of Chicagoland was all about…” Ross added and let her eyes wander from his to the dimly lit and emptied room.

Something about her analytic gaze made him stand straighter and rub the back of his neck in anticipation for her verdict. 

“We’re, uh, renovating.”

Ross offered a single nod and a weak hum as her serious expression landed back on him. “Makes sense.”

A still silence fell over them again, forcing Camry to fidget with his knuckles and take another long drag of the already wavering cig. He wondered if the lack of conversation had always felt so stagnant between them- like the middle of July- or if time had truly taken a toll on their interactions. He heard her shuffle against the newspaper covered glass once more, but didn’t dare to raise his head until she spoke again.

“I heard about your brother…” She started, cracking her knuckles out of habit. “I’m sorry for your loss.”

“S’fine.” Carmy answered instantly, the words had already nestled into a permanent space in his mind, but at least for her, he knew they were genuine. “Thank you.” He said and added “I’m sorry for, y’know… everything.”

A slight curve around her mouth broke the cold glare settling over him and despite the somber tone around them, the simple action let a wave of fresh air pass into his lungs.

“What part exactly?” Ross asked, digging her palms into the back pocket of her jeans and moving slowly in direction to the dusty counter. “Leaving with no explanation? Not even letting me know you were alive… or for being an overall idiot for as long as I’ve known you?” 

The refreshing bluntness of her tone pulled out a soft chuckle from his knotted chest and he couldn’t help but nod in agreement. Carmy reached again towards the packet resting beside him and lit another tube between his lips, waiting, as if the words were magically hidden between the embers and smoke. 

As she waited for an answer, Ross pulled out the stool a few feet beside him and took out a cigarette without asking, it’s not as if he would have said anything anyway, at least nothing other than:

“You smoke now?”

Ross shrugged again and sucked the smoke into her mouth. A gleam from her left hand caught his eye. Carmy couldn’t help the surprised expression falling over his face at the sight of a thin gold band wrapping around her delicate finger, or the shimmering stone that was placed upon it. 

He signaled with his head in direction to ring. “That’s… new.” He said.

She pulled her hand back at arms length and admired the perfectly polished stone with a new spark behind her eyes, as if the owner of said promise reappeared in her memories each time she looked at it.

“Yeah… you remember Frank?” 

Carmy’s expression grew even more surprised at the mention of his former co-worker. The one that Ross, if he remembered correctly, didn’t even give the time of day. 

“Yeah…shit, Frank?” He asked, incredulous. 

“Ugh, gross no.” The girl answered and Carmy’s shoulders fell in relief. “One of his cousins.” 

Her eyes went from the shimmering rock to the plastic covered pop machines they had yet to take out and Carmy could almost see the memory of her lover replaying over her softening features.

“We uh, we met a month after you left… I guess it just clicked.” She shrugged and finally turned to him.

From up close, he could see how much her face had truly changed. There was little trace of the jovial features he had known, yet the spark in her eyes remained. It wasn’t for him anymore though, that much he knew, and it would have probably affected him more a year ago than it did then. 

“Finally someone my age-“ Ross joked and slightly swayed in his direction. Carmy sniggered back, relieved that the tension was slowly withering away. 

“I’m glad.” He responded sincerely as a gentle smile unfolded over his features. 

The girl nodded slowly and smiled back, tearing her gaze away and refocusing it back to the lit tube dangling from her fingers. 

“How’d you know?” He blurred out the thought that had been kneading itself in his head for a few weeks now.

“What?”

“Y’know… that he’s- that they’re, y’know-”

“The one?” She answered for him in a teasing tone that made him roll his eyes but nod back.

The room went quiet as she thought, only his foot continuously tapping against the floor in angst was heard. Ross’ brows slowly raised up as her eyes examined his nervousness closely, then she turned her body fully towards him and leaned against the counter.

“I dunno, honestly.” Her response was simple and he tried to swallow discreetly so as to not show his disappointment. “It’s different for everyone.” She reassured. His eyes rose expectant to her face once more. “I felt… peace. Like I can finally breathe and I’m not struggling to hold my head above the current anymore.”

Carmy knew the feeling she was referring to, the consistent pressure crushing his lungs that no amount of cigarettes could numb out but that suddenly, the single thought of you, fixed. The weight that fell off his shoulders as soon as he crossed the entrance to your home and the glee on your face as you saw him, that was the peace she was referring to. You weren’t the bandaid that temporarily taped up his shitty moods, but the whole damn antibiotic that eradicated the virus altogether.

“Listen, I-” Ross stopped abruptly to gather her scattered thoughts, exhaled loudly, then continued. “I just wanna get it off my chest. I did like you, Carmen, like a lot, but… we would have torn each other to pieces.” Her sigh came out like a nervous chuckle.

He nodded again and swallowed hard, taken back. “Right- yeah no, definitely.”

“With Jonathan it’s easy. It’s like breathing, just second nature. And in spite of everything that went on with us, I still mean what I said before… I do hope you find that one day.” For a second, her features softened into the girl he had known more than a year back, the one who had truly seen him when no one else had. 

Your face instantly appeared in his mind. That morning at the farmer’s market, the cold breeze had tainted your soft cheeks pink and the fuzzy knitted scarf swallowed half your face whole. His chest felt like it could concave suddenly and he felt like an absolute idiot for not realizing it sooner.

An uncontrollable grin spread around his face, raising his flushed cheeks up to his eyes. He coughed slightly to clear his throat but it only fused with a soft snigger that filled him with an unfamiliar warmth.

“Yeah…” He exhaled as his eyes caught the same shimmer as the stone. “Yeah, I think I have.”

“I’m glad.” Ross repeated his words back, nothing but honesty clear on her face. 

**********

The dull and foggy sky mirrors your mood as you mark your steps over the cobblestone, bouquet held tight in between your gloved hands. 

You haven’t visited since the funeral, it had been too painful to do so. One loss after another had been enough to topple your fragile mental health and you were sure that if you had visited before being ready, it would have guaranteed a similar headstone beside hers. Despite the slight jittering of your fingers though, you’re sure of every step you take, careful to move around the more weathered graves.

Your heart leaps in your chest once you spot the space reserved for your grandmother. The headstone is more dramatic than the ones that surround it, but then again, she never did anything small. There’s a carved limestone angel that guards her sleep as it rests with crossed arms over it, wings wrapped around the slab. It still looks relatively new, despite sitting in the hard Chicago weather for a year and part of you feels guilty for visiting after so long, but you know she would have understood. 

Your nose has started to freeze with the chill wind and you use one gloved hand to wipe away the rogue tear that tickles your nostril, before slowly stopping in front of the grave. 

“Hola abuelita.” You whisper and sniff with difficulty. “Te traje Claveles.” 

The dead grass snaps quietly as you sit cross legged and lay the vibrant flowers right under her name. With empty hands, you begin to play with the loose threads of your worn out gloves as you search for something to say. ‘Not like you can hear me, anyway.’ you think to yourself bitterly, then a humorless chuckle escapes when the image of her, slightly smacking the back of your head, comes to mind.

“Sorry.” You reply instantly, as if she could see your thoughts. “I’ve never been good at this sorta thing, you know me.”

The morning is mostly quiet, despite a few chirping birds and the light traffic that sneaks past the trees, everything is still. 

“Nice place you got here…with the shade n’ everything- Mom says hi. I asked Papi si quería saludarte, but he says he’ll come by next week as always.” Your throat begins to close up and you try to clear a pathway with a few subtle coughs.

You reach out to clean off the few petals that fell from the dried flowers your grandfather left last week and another batch of tears bundles over your bottom lashes. You’ve always admired their love, the kind that transcends even after the other is gone, because ‘til death do us part’ doesn’t really carry any meaning when you truly love someone.

A softer smile takes the place of the teary one as the memories of Sunday mornings sitting between them and watching old movies invades your mind. She’d braid your hair with dexterous hands as you watched various men porcelain their love to a young Rita Moreno through the black and white screen. The whiff of coffee and cigarettes from your grandfather felt like home and the loving whispers they’d share with one another behind your back put the prettiest bird songs to shame. 

“A lot’s happened since you left…” Your voice carries out through the wind, but you like to imagine that it's taking your words to her. “I met someone- not the asshole I told you about, you were right about him… someone else. His name’s Carmy. You would’ve liked him, Papi does, pero ya sabes como es, he won’t admit it. He’s been through a lot, but he’s still really sweet. He’s a fighter… I think he’s the one.” Your epiphany goes quiet in the secluded cemetery and your heart starts to beat even faster as the words sink in.

You’ve come to the conclusion that the bad thing about being surrounded by so much love is you’re always searching to replicate it. Your grandparents loved you so much, that the need for a father never even crossed your mind, and they loved each other even harder that all you ever wanted growing up was a love like that of your own. You went through countless partners in search of “the one” and always came out empty handed, but she was always there- with her cafecito and old movies- to pick you right back up. 

What scares you now is that she isn’t there to pick you up if anything were to happen anymore, and after Isaac, you’re not sure if you can go through another broken heart as bad as that one.

You huff out a hard sigh and wipe your cheeks a little too hard, tainting them pink. 

“I’m sure.” You repeat again a little louder to drown out the critical thoughts. “No- yeah, I am. I am.”

The distracting vibration from your phone pierces the calming silence and gives you a chance to leave the vexing thoughts behind.

“What-”

“-the fuck did you do?!” He yells from the other line as soon as you answer, making you pull the phone away from your ear.

“Hello to you too J-“ 

“What the fuck did you do-” Your brother interrupts again and you roll your eyes. “-I just saw that lanky tall guy from your old job drop my mom off at the house!” 

“Really? That was fast…” 

His frustrated groan vibrates across the receiver while you unfold your legs from under you and stand up. You place a quick kiss over your fingers and place it over the tombstone before moving back to the entrance. 

“I don’t know what the big deal is, she’s an adult, she can go out with who she wants.”

“Yeah, exactly. Who she wants, not the first asshole you put in front of her.”

“Oh, you jealous you’re not the only man in her life now, huh?” 

Joshua scoffs and you can imagine how he impatiently rolls his eyes before mumbling a ‘fuck you’.

“Fuck you too, dude. Why don’t you get a life and stop worrying about what my mom does with hers.”

“Fine- but when she comes home crying cause that fucker broke her heart, Imma send her straight to you.”

“Fine!”

“Good!”

He doesn’t wait for another response before ending the call. You shove your phone back into your coat with a huff and pull your car keys out instead.

**********

There isn’t much you can do during the winter classes. Since the day recedes to night earlier than usual, the courses have been shortened to an hour long, which then shrinks to 45 minutes after trying to get the kids settled into their stations. Only after months on the job do you  finally understand the vexing task of a sheep herder.

By the time the sky has gone from blue, to orange, to an angelic lilac, only two little ones remain and you’ve been making the most out of their cooperative nature by having them haul their drying works into the back. They do so excitedly, between debates over which dinosaur is the best and why it’s the T-Rex. The conversation brings a smile to your face as you hear their voices slowly fade away from the inside storage. 

It’s a few minutes past 8 when the bell from the entrance door dings and a sigh of relief exits your chest. 

“In the back!” You call to whoever arrived.

While the echoing steps move closer, you turn with your attention fully on the jar of paint that doesn’t want to screw on correctly. Once you get it right and the steps have stopped a few yards away, you look up with a kind smile that vanishes as soon as your eyes settle on the man in front of you.

Your lungs have stopped working completely. Your fingers hold a deadly grip on the jar, bending the plastic with enough strength to turn your knuckles white. Without taking your eyes off him, you blindly settle it back down on the cart and try to regulate your racing heart and breath.

The moment you see him again, everything stops in the most terrible of ways. It feels like standing by the edge of a panic attack, but not falling all the way through, just feeling the waves of cold  sweats traveling down with every heaving breath. In an attempt to ground yourself, your fingers dig into the rough fabric of your apron, instantly absorbing the wetness of your trembling hands and for a second you swear that if you were brave enough to look down, you would find your guts splattered all over the wooden floor.

“Hi Uncle!” The little boy rejoices once he spots the man and walks to your side, oblivious of your hardening gaze on his guardian.

You swallow down the sickening sweetness that your afternoon tea had left in your mouth. “Kenny, where’s your mom?” You rub a hand over his hair with a forced smile.

“She had  a late meeting.” The man’s strong voice vibrates through the walls with little effort, the sound ringing in your ears.

“This is my uncle Isaac.” Kenny adds as if you didn’t already know and the simple mention of the name rips your gut open once again.

You keep your eyes glued on the child, thinking that maybe if you don’t acknowledge the man disturbing the room, he would vanish into thin air like a mirage. ‘Or combust violently’ the voice in your head muttered viciously.

“Can you be a dear and take the last reference pics to the back? Inside the red basket, please. And then grab your bag, okay?” You indicate with a last gentle pat over his shoulder.

He salutes then runs to the doors and out of earshot. With another shaky breath you turn back to the paint cart and try your best to swallow down the knot of bile that has begun to grow.

“I need a permit from his mother to let him leave with a stranger.” You state as calm and collected as your growing anxiety allows you.

His deep chuckle reverberates through the crystal walls and lands on your skin, chilling it to the touch. “What, so I’m a stranger to you now?” He asks.

“You’re nothing to me as far as I’m concerned.” You scoff as you push the cart back to its original place, doing your best to calm the nausea that the memories of seeing him at the charity event are causing.

“Oh, cut me some slack, I’ve been trying to apologize.” 

“Yeah, and what’s that good for?” You spit out instinctively, turning around with new found irritation.

The look on his face is full with triumph and your palm itches with the need to punch the smug off his dumb face. You wish you had the same courage as that night, when you followed him out the gallery with every intention of denting his jaw, but that kind of bravery only comes with alcohol and there is unfortunately none in sight. 

“C’mon Fox…” He says through a sly smile and takes a step towards you, immediately making you take one back.

“Don’t call me that, you don’t get the right to call me that after what you put me through.”

There’s a stare in your eyes that would send any sane man running for the hills, but Isaac has always been anything but. He takes it as a challenge instead, tilting his head to the side like a hunter analyzing its prey, with a toothy grin that exposes the canines in an almost charmingly vile way.

His eyes drag slowly down your body with an obvious gesture, one that has you crossing your arms over your chest to shield as much as you can from his view. “Then what can I call you? Mi amor?” He says instead.

“Call me nothing, no soy tu amor.”  You mutter through gritted teeth and move quickly around the room to finish collecting the last of your supplies. In the back of your mind, you rush the kids to finish quicker, but their debate keeps them too entertained.

“Oh, but I recall how much you used to love it.” His words slither out with venom and his eyes narrow in satisfaction when he notices you stop fully in your tracks and give him another angry stare. “Did you forget how much fun we used to have?” 

“I remember how you fucked up my life-” You remark over his words, but he speaks over them again. 

“Remember when I took you to The Met?” With each word, the bile in your throat feels more inevitable, clawing its way higher up. “How you thanked me so well for the trip in those lacy blue-”

“-Yo babe, sorry I’m so late-” His booming voice invades the room as soon as he appears past the exhibitions, bringing a wave of fresh air into your dying lungs. “-Cousin finally got the permits from Cicero so-”

Ava’s excited footsteps charge out the back and towards her dad, followed by a calm Kenny carrying a Spiderman backpack. The excitement from the children is enough to trigger your migraine but it doesn’t matter because you’ve never been more thankful for Richie’s terrible time management skills. 

When he finally has his daughter securely in his arms, Richie’s eyes dart from you to Isaac, finally feeling the thick air that stays stagnant between you. 

It only takes him a second to notice your stance, the hardness of your jaw and the menacing stare you give the man beside him. “Am I interrupting anything-“

“No.” You’re quick to answer. “They’re just leaving so…”

Kenny stretches his hand up to take your high five goodbye and promises Ava they’ll finish their debate tomorrow while Isaac doesn’t move. He’s still, with a defiant gaze that feels like minutes, then he swings Kenny’s bag over his shoulder and takes a few strides in your direction, stopping less than a foot away. You don’t retreat this time and despite the height difference that’s more obvious up close, you eye him down with all the anger you can muster. 

He pulls something you can’t see out of the pocket of his coat and brings it up to your view. The signed permit rests between his index and middle finger as he offers it to you, but once he sees you won’t take it, he flicks his wrist towards the desk beside you and lets the paper fall lazily over it. 

“I’ll see you around…" Isaac whispers like a menacing promise. "the paint suits you, by the way.” It’s low enough for only you to hear and the smile that goes along with his denigrating tone makes your face turn in disgust. 

Your gaze launches daggers at his back once he turns and takes the small boy by the hand, disappearing past the installation and your lungs only stop burning when the bell dings a final time. 

“What’s that asshole’s problem?” Richie mutters, hand over Ava’s ears and stare lost in the space left empty. 

The desk beside you has never felt more sturdy than the moment you let yourself fall back on it, the adrenaline has finally left  your system and turned your legs into jelly. It screeches lightly and makes Richie turn his head towards you, concern evident once he spots your colorless face. 

“Hey, hey kid, you okay?”

“Wha- yeah, yeah I’m fine. It’s Just um… it’s just been a really long day.”

“Yeah…” He plays along and takes a few weary steps towards you. “Probably doesn’t help that you’ve been smellin ‘ this shit all day either, huh?” He says, taking one of the closed jars with his empty hand and scanning the label.

“Yeah… that’s probably it.” You reply absentminded as your eyes focus past the glass, hoping to not catch sight of the man. 

“Mhm…” Richie repeats in the same tone. “Listen, I know cousin’s got your car and he’s still at the restaurant so if you pack your stuff now, I'll drop you off at home.”

You nod a few times, eyes still on the glass, then with another heavy sigh, you clear your throat and push yourself off the desk. “Yeah, that’d be great. Thank you, Richie.”

You move quickly behind your desk and pull out your already prepped bag and keys- careful to not let him see the wayward tear that the strange confrontation has left behind- before tucking your hair behind your ears and giving him a thin lipped smile. 

“Thank you.” You whisper towards him.

Richie shrugs his shoulders and the little girl that’s already falling asleep over them stirs lightly. 

“What’s family for?” He replies and for the first time since you’ve met him, both his voice and demeanor carry a strange serenity that makes you understand why his daughter is peacefully asleep by the time she reaches her car seat. 

Taglist: @pearlstiare @teteminne , @beebslebobs, @harrysmatcha , @yum-yahgurt , @pussy-f41ry , @kirakombat , @redsakura101 , @hobisunshine13 , @feyhunter78, @xeneth99 and that's it lmao

[m0llygunn]

Strat and Jag (Eddie Munson x fem!reader)

01 / 02 / 03 Summary: Feelings realized, theres only one thing left to do, and that one thing is Eddie...

Warnings: 18+!, smut, mature language, oral (male and female receiving), p in v sex (unprotected), creampie, petnames, light angst, virginity loss, fumbly first time sex. Authors note: this is part 3! i have a few slice of life chapters after this but this is basically the end of the plot here. seeya! wc: 9k+

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Revival of the boy 

By the time you’re ready, you’re sure Hellfire wouldn’t be done yet, but you’re too antsy to just sit around. You figured if you walk to the trailer park, you should be there by the time Eddie comes home. 

Packaging up some of your desserts made out of pure nerves and stress, you set out a foot towards Forest Hills Trailer Park, and you don’t dare let yourself think about any of the outcomes. You would think yourself sick if you did. 

When you got there, it was still a little early for him to be back. You have a key, but it doesn’t feel right to let yourself in, given the circumstances. Wayne usually works overnight on Fridays and he’s not here either, so you sit on the stairs with your container of chocolate chip cookies in your lap while the sun disappears behind the horizon. 

It’s only another 15 minutes before you hear the rumbling of his van. And you swear it’s louder than it’s ever been until you realize that it’s your heart pounding in your chest, your ears roaring in nervousness. 

Fuck. 

You can’t even look up to see if Eddie spots you as he parks beside the trailer. Obviously he does, you’re on the stairs, but you are so… you can’t breathe. You can’t fucking breathe. Holy shit. Harrington was fucking right. Whatever the hell he said absolutely annihilated the dam that was holding back these feelings because with Eddie approaching you, your stomach is swirling, your heart is beating so fast you swear it could explode, and your lungs feel battered, breath stolen by the man who now stands before you. 

“Hi.” You whisper when you finally work up the courage to look at him. Your heart sinks when you see how sad he looks. 

“Hey, Strat.” He says, flashing you a sad smile. 

“I- I brought you more um…” You trail off, suddenly forgetting what you even baked. You opt for pushing the container into his hands, standing up from the stairs. “These things.” You say, giving up on finding the right words.

“Cookies?” Eddie asks with a small forced smile as he pops the lid open to look.

“Mhm.” You hum, letting out a breath you didn’t know you were holding in. 

“Do… you want to come in?” Eddie asks tentatively.

“Yeah.” You agree quietly. 

You turn, walking up the steps with Eddie behind you. Stepping to the side, he unlocks the door, motioning for you to go in first. As you walk in, his fingertips brush your side.

Butterflies. Butterflies. Butterflies. 

You walk into the trailer. A place you’ve spent just as much time in as your own home, but suddenly, it’s so different. Suddenly, it’s nerve racking, and it makes you feel hot all over, and tingly, and absolutely ridden with butterflies. 

You stand in his living room, feeling lost, not knowing what to do with yourself. Usually you’d high tail it to Eddie’s room, throwing yourself on his bed, but you don’t this time. 

Eddie shuts the door before turning to you, looking nervous.

“Might as well sit. No point in me crying standing up.” He mumbles, voice barely audible. 

“You crying?” You say confusedly.

“Yeah. You’re about to let me down, right? We’re just friends?” He huffs, as he sits in a corner of the couch. He’s presenting a sense of indifference but you know that’s just what he does when something is really getting to him and it makes your stomach sink. 

You stand frozen in the middle of the living room. That’s what he thinks you’re here for?

“Listen, Strat. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have been saying that shit, especially not with the guys. I get it. Just, can you rip it off like a bandaid, please.” He says, sitting up on the couch, his elbows resting on his knees as he drops his head in his hands. You don’t miss the way his voice shakes or the way his eyes glisten and it breaks your heart.

You slowly make your way to the couch, afraid that if Eddie looks up at you, you’ll lose any semblance of confidence. 

The truth is, you’re so fucking scared. You’re sure about your feelings, but… this is so new for you. You're terrified. 

You push the discarded container of cookies onto the other end of the couch and you sit in the middle, next to Eddie. Eddie shuffles but doesn’t lift his head.

“Fuck. I don’t know how I’m gonna do this, Strat. One week without you and I… I- I can’t go the rest of my life without you.” He’s crying. His voice is wavering and wet, and he’s crying real, deep sobs for you. “T-tell me I didn’t fuck this up, we can still be friend right?” He cries, body shaking next to you. 

“Eddie.” You say softly, letting your hand find his back. It’s not the first time you’ve seen him cry, but this time breaks your heart the worst because you did it. These are tears for you. You made them.

“I’m so fucking s-sorry.” He says, breath hitching as he tries to soften his crying.

“Eddie. No. I-I’m… I-I—“ You start stuttering not knowing how to say what you want to say.

Eddie’s body quivers next to you. Under your hand you feel his back raising and falling in harsh, rapid breaths, but you can’t find the words. You don’t know how to say it. You don’t know how to revive Eddie from this. You feel like you’re drowning with him. Stuck in the middle of the ocean, the two of you, no help in sight. 

Eddie’s shaking pauses, and his voice comes out small.

“We can’t be friends can we?” 

And that’s what does it. It feels like the whole world stops spinning. 

No. He’s right. You can’t be friends, not any more. Not the way you have been friends. Friendship isn’t a possibility anymore. It breaks you entirely and suddenly you have nothing to lose. 

With all your force, you grab Eddie by his shoulders pulling him to face you. 

As you see his tear stained cheeks you feel your own eyes start to burn. You see his red rimmed eyes and flushed cheeks and you feel your heart in your throat.

You have nothing to lose, you remind yourself. And with that thought, you grab him by the cheeks pulling him into you, crashing your lips into his.

You're overzealous, harshly knocking teeth before pulling back enough to feel only the softness of his lips against yours. 

He’s unmoving, completely frozen while you move your lips against his. Just when you go to pull away, his hands meet your own cheeks, pulling you back. 

He kisses you. Kisses you until all of the air leaves your lungs and you go dizzy, spinning in a world where you only know Eddie. A world where all that matters is that you love Eddie. 

It’s like a breath of fresh air. A life jacket in the middle of the ocean finally keeping you a float. You’re not drowning anymore.

His lips are soft as they gently massage yours, working perfectly against you. 

Back when you were 10 and Eddie was 11, and he tried to practice french kissing on you, his tongue was harsh and pokey. This time, he’s gentle and the hands on your cheeks coax your mouth open, not that you would need much convincing. 

The comparison of 11 year old and 18 year old Eddie french kissing you makes you laugh, sputtering into the kiss, pulling away because you, without a doubt, just spit into his mouth. 

“What’s… what’s funny?” He says, timidly and unsure. You take a deep breath trying to compose your laughter.

“Just, last time you kissed me like that… do you remember?” You say looking up at him. He still looks unsure but you see a sparkle in his eyes as his lips turn up at the memory. 

“It was practice, okay?” He groans, the same attitude he had all those years ago rising to the surface. 

“Are you sure you just didn’t want to kiss me?” You say, grinning, still feeling the swirling dizziness in your head.

“I did. Always do.” He answers, his gaze falling to his lap, avoiding your eyes. You bring your hands back up to his cheeks, making him look at you. 

You pull him in for another kiss. A gentle kiss, tender and sweet, before you interrupt it with the harsh poke of your own tongue just like he did at 11. This time it’s his turn to pull away with a laugh. 

“How’s that for practice?” You laugh, heart exploding as you watch the corners of his eyes crease and his dimples set with his laughter.

“I think you need more practice.” He states teasingly, eyes fluttering over you. He brings his fingers to your face, tucking hair behind your ears and your stomach twists like you’re on a roller coaster. You swallow harshly before clearing your throat.

“Should we play spin the bottle then?” You say, hoping to make his smile stay as long as possible. 

“Fuck no. Remember, took me what? 25 spins for it to land on you.” 

“27.” You correct, smiling at the memory. Eddie’s eyes stare deeply into yours, and you feel yourself purposefully falling into the deep golden brown that invites you in. You dive in head first without a thought, wanting to be with him in every way possible.

Your hands had fallen to your knees somewhere between your laughter, but you need to touch him. Inching forward on the couch, you scoot until he’s in reach and you let your hands find his shirt, grabbing it, willing him to come closer. 

His eyes search yours and he complies. Knees knock harshly into each other as you both attempt to get closer, still sitting on the edge of the couch. 

“Can I kiss you again?” He asks, quietly.

You nod your head, pulling him by the fabric of his shirt fisted in your hands.

“Please, Eddie.” You whisper, as his lips ghost over yours and that’s enough to get him to close the distance. 

Tender, gentle, sweet, Eddie. It’s not a harsh tongue jabbing into your mouth. It’s sweetness, and everything you didn’t know you were missing. It’s Eddie in a way you didn’t know you needed him.

Eddie’s hands respectfully stay on your cheeks, only dipping lower to hold you by the jaw as his mouth works against yours.

“Eddie.” You say against his lips, not bothering to pull away entirely. 

You need more of him. More you didn’t know you needed, but now that you know, you can’t go another day without. But first, you have something important to say. 

Eddie hums against your lips, lost in the kiss. 

“I’m sorry.” You whisper before bringing your lips back to his but he pulls away entirely. 

“Sorry?” He says, eyes looking panicked.

“No-no. I’m sorry for this week. I was just confused. I- I’m not letting you down- actually it’s the opposite.” You say starting to ramble as you try to ease his worry. His eyes relax before shifting into a look of disbelief. 

“The opposite?” He says trying to hold back his smile. 

“Yeah. I just… want to say sorry first.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I do. I’m sorry. I was angry at first because… it’s stupid but I thought you were ruining our friendship on purpose but then I realized… I was angry because you could say the things I wouldn't let myself even think about. I lied to myself for a long time, made excuses, stupid, stupid excuses for my feelings. And then hearing you just admit it like that… made it really hard to keep making excuses, I guess.”

“I’m sorry.” Eddie says, thumb rubbing your cheek.

“No! You don’t get to be sorry.” You say smiling.

“I kind of do. I should have just said it to you. That was an awful way for you to find out. Just… ‘I love you’ then dice thrown at your feet? So fucking stupid. Then I froze when I should have gone after you.” He says, squeezing his eyes shut as he relives the memory.

“I needed time anyways… and don’t kill me but… I talked to Steve about everything.” You say quietly. His eyes flash open and his jaw drops comically but the way his eyes twinkle, you know he’s not mad. Him and Steve are friends but they do have their disagreements here and there. If you asked them if they were friends though, they’d both say no and probably scoff at the idea. 

“Not Harrington.” He says with mirth. 

“I know! Just, everyone was kind of giving me the cold shoulder or like badgering me, and Steve… was actually really, really helpful.” You say, raising your own eyebrows to convey just how shocking that is, even to you. 

“Don’t tell me I have to thank Steve for you showing up here?” Eddie groans, smile still playing on his lips.

“I’m sorry! But if I didn’t talk to him, it probably would have taken me a few years to figure it out on my own.”

“I thought a week was bad, can’t imagine years of waiting for you.” Eddie laughs and your heart aches.

You pull him in for a quick peck before pulling away.

“Eddie, I love you.” You say finding his eyes. He looks at you once again in disbelief, eyes burrowing deep inside you to look for truth. “Like I really love you. As more… than a friend.” Eddie’s bottom lips jets out in a pout as he coos your name. His thumbs rub against your skin and you feel like you’re on the cusp of melting.

“I love you. More than a friend. I love you so much.” He whispers. Your stomach flips, fluttering ceaselessly, his words echo inside of you.

You love Eddie and he loves you.

You melt into him, finding his lips once more. Your bodies contort into one, him leaning back into the couch and you leaning forward into him, standing, and then bringing your knees to the couch, straddling him. 

His hands fall from your cheeks, pulling you to sit right in his lap and you relish in the butterflies as they become your new best friends.

Your hands snake around Eddie’s neck, laying your chest flat against his, fingers weaving into the curls at the back of his neck. 

His tongue works against yours, kiss turning heated, becoming a wet mess of tongue and teeth shared between the two of you.

“Eddie. Want you.” You mutter breathily as you pull away just enough to gasp for air, your lips reconnected immediately. Eddie groans into the kiss, hands gripping harshly on your hips, pulling you down into him. As he does this, you feel his length kick up, hardness starting to push against you. 

You testingly grind down into him and Eddie's mouth stops moving against yours, instead, his throat feeding a high pitched whine directly into your mouth, immediately leaving you hungry for more. 

You grind down again and Eddie’s mouth leaves yours in another whine, before he tucks his face into the crook of your neck, placing quick, chaste kisses. 

His hands start to guide you by the hips, pulling your lower belly closer to his and you push down again, feeling the denim of his jeans shifting against your clit, making you moan in response too. 

You continue the movement, feeling Eddie groan into the sensitive skin of your neck. With each shift, you feel your own heat pooling in your lower belly, and suddenly you’re chasing a high just within reach. 

You start moving faster and you don’t notice how Eddie’s hands stop guiding you. You don’t notice his heavy panting against your neck. You don’t notice the tenseness in his muscles against yours. You don’t notice any of it as you blindly chase your own release. Not until his hands grip you harshly. 

“Fuck. I’m so sorry but I’m gonna cum if you keep doing that.” He rushes out, pulling your hips away from his before shifting and taking a deep breath. 

At the loss of contact you let out a whine but are quick to recover, shifting your weight to sit further back on his thighs.

“I have to tell you something.” He says, face turning bright red. “Remember I told you that I… hooked up with that girl before?”

“Yes?” You say, knowing where this is going.

“Well I lied.”

“I fucking knew it!” You say sitting up straighter, hitting Eddie on the chest. Eddie flushes, face turning red, ears turning a pretty shade of pink. “Eddie, it’s okay.” You say softly. “So… are you…?” He nods before you’re even done speaking.

“I… am a virgin.” He says sheepishly. 

“Well I am too. You didn’t have to lie or be embarrassed.” You smile.

“I know, I just thought you were gonna catch onto the fact that the only girl I wanted was you, so when you asked if I hooked up with that girl, I just kind of… went with it.” He says dipping his head exasperatedly before pulling back up to look at you. 

“You are so…” You trail off, grinning. “You are such a dork.” 

“But you love me?” He says smiling.

“That I do. Love you a lot actually.”

“Fuck, I’ll never get used to hearing that. I love you too, Strat.” He says, pulling you in for a kiss.

You want him more than ever and you’re starting to get impatient, so you break apart the kiss.

“Eddie, can we go to your room? I don’t think Wayne would want us fucking on the couch.” Eddie blushes deep red again, the cute tint expanding across his cheeks to the top of his nose. 

“Yeah. He wouldn’t like that.” He agrees, starting to stand, hiding his blush as he maneuvers up from the couch. When you go to step off him, his hands grasp your ass harshly, pulling you up with him, making a squeak erupt from your chest. You wrap your legs around his hips and he walks you back to his room, kicking the door open with his foot and shutting it just the same. 

He lowers you down to his mattress before dropping you with a bounce and settling next to you. You sit up, grabbing at his shirt, pulling the hem. He helps you pull it up, lifting it over his head. Your hands run down the front of his chest before settling at the buckle of his belt, eyes shifting to the fullness at the crotch of his jeans, clearly hard and begging to be released. 

You work at the belt before he takes over, quickly jiggling it undone. Pushing his hands away, you take over making him laugh. Undoing the rest of his pants, you bring your hands to the waistband, tugging them down before he starts to help you again. When they’re finally off, you grab at the band of his boxers but he stops you.

“You too. Don’t want to be naked by myself.” He says abashedly, making you laugh. 

Your hands find the hem of your shirt before he takes over, tugging it free from your body. His eyes nervously meet yours and you nod giving him permission to look. His eyes roam your exposed torso, chest still covered but his eyes glue onto the spilling tops of your breasts. 

“Want me to take it off?” You ask quietly. He nods but then shakes his head, quickly bringing his own arms around your body, fumbling with the closure. Slowly but surely he gets it undone, pulling away to watch as the material slips from your front, exposing your bare chest.

“You are so perfect.” He awes. His eyes drink you in hungrily. “Can I touch you?” He asks, his eyes flickering up to yours.

“Yes.”

He raises his hands and you don’t miss the tremor, in fact, you appreciate its presence because it means he’s just as nervous as you are.

His warm palms connect with your skin, with a gentle touch. He drags his hands down, his fingers passing over your nipples making you gasp. He looks up at you and you nod letting him know it was good.

More confidently this time, he rubs upward on your breasts, massaging them. He visibly pauses when he doesn’t get the same response from you and you can practically see his thoughts as he tries to figure out how to get you to make that sound again. Pulling his palms away, he lets his fingers ghost over just your nipples. When he pinches one gently, you exhale sharply, mewl spilling from your lips and he smiles.

“Can I use my mouth?” He asks, fingers continuing to pinch and roll your nipples. 

“Uh-huh. Want you to.” You say between gasps. With your permission, Eddie dives forward, lips pressing around your right nipple, tongue poking out to swirl around it. You gasp, chest sinking and Eddie follows you before guiding you to lay down against the pillow. 

“That feels really good.” You say and he moves to pay attention to your left nipple.

“Yeah? Making lots of pretty sounds.” He says before attaching his lips to you. 

Your hands find the back of his head tugging his hair with every swirl of his tongue that sends shivers through your body. His hand trails down your stomach, stopping at the button of your jeans. 

“Please” You whine, begging for more. Eddie groans against you, the vibrations making you whimper. 

In a swift motion, he undoes the button before pulling away to take off your pants. 

“This okay?” He asks, lowering the zipper, hands waiting at the waist of your jeans.

“Please.” You whine again, bringing your own hands to your chest, trying to recreate what he was doing but failing miserably. Eddie catches sight of you fondling your own breasts and gets distracted. “Eddie.” 

“Sorry. You’re just so fucking beautiful. Fuck.” He groans, tearing his eyes away from your chest. Refocusing on his task. 

He tugs your pants down, leaving you in your panties. He pauses and you can tell he’s mulling something over in his head.

“Can I try something?” He asks, fingers tickling your hips as he trails over the lace of your panties. 

“Sounds scary.” You joke, smiling.

“No- just, want to eat you out. But, never done it before so…” he says, shrugging as his nervousness appears. 

You swallow, contemplating.

“I don’t have to, but I want to try. And I know I’m gonna cum in 2 minutes and I want you to feel good too.” He says and it makes your heart squeeze at his sentiment.

“You can try but nobody’s ever done it to me before so I don’t know what you're supposed to do either.” You say smiling at him, which he returns. 

“Can I?” He grins, tugging at the elastic of your panties before letting it snap it back against your skin.

“Ow, dick.” You say, even though it didn’t hurt. You don’t grant him a response instead you reach down, pulling at them yourself. 

“Sorry, baby. Let me.” He says taking over. You heart fucking stops at his pet name. You’re always sweetheart, princess, darling, m’lady… a million other stupid names, but never baby. 

You're caught in such a stump just by his words you don’t even realize he’s pulled off your underwear and is busy taking the sight of your pussy, but when you do, you squeeze your legs closed feeling embarrassed. 

“No, no, baby. You’re so pretty. So perfect. Wanna see you.” He says, hands placed on your knees, not pulling your legs open just yet. “Wanna make you feel good. Gotta see you to do that.” He says, letting his thumbs stroke your kneecaps. 

You exhale deeply before letting your legs fall open again. 

“Fuck, look at you. Been dreaming of this.” Eddie groans.

“Dreaming?” You giggle. 

“Oh yeah. Always had you keeping me up at night.” He mumbles, letting his hands rub higher on your thighs. “But you’re more perfect than I ever imagined. Look at you, all wet and glossy.” You lift your head, trying to see what he sees and he’s not wrong, your inner thighs are glistening from squeezing your thighs together, skin looking slick and shimmery between your legs. 

“Touch me, Eddie.” You whisper, starting to feel impatient again.

He brings one hand to you, letting his thumb push between your folds. As he glides down, the pad of his finger brushes over your clit making you jump. He looks up at you, gauging your response before he does it again, softer this time, making you moan out.

Keeping your button under his thumb, making small circles, he shifts on the bed, lowering himself so his face is right in your cunt. 

The speed of his thumb increases and you throw your head back against the pillow squeezing your eyes shut at the pleasure. 

It abruptly stops before you're greeted with a much wetter, hotter feeling against you, swirling around your clit before sucking. You shoot your eyes open to see Eddie watching you with dark eyes from between your thighs. 

“F-fuck.” You stutter when he sucks harshly. 

“That good, baby?” He mumbles into you, not bothering to pull his mouth away from you. 

“Uh-huh. Really good, Eddie.” You say, almost surprised. 

You whine as he stops the swirling to lick a stripe up your core. His mouth lowers, tongue finding your hole and you hold your breath, unsure of the feeling until you feel his nose hit your clit, making your hips stutter. As they do, his tongue pushes in and out of you making you gasp, sucking in a breath. 

“Again please.” You say. He lets his tongue fuck into you but it’s not as good. Without saying anything you bring your hand down, fingers finding your clit. 

“Uh-uh. Tell me what you want, baby.” He says grabbing your hand. “Want to make you feel good. Need to tell me what you want so I know.” He says, consoling your whine. 

“Want you to rub my clit too.” You whisper, trying not to be embarrassed. 

“Good girl.” He says, before bringing his thumb back to you. You feel yourself clench at the words, feeling hotter under his praise. If he notices, he doesn’t say anything but he gives you exactly what you asked for. 

He lets his tongue slip in and out of your while his thumb works against you making you moan and whimper. 

“Want, want your tongue on-” You say, cutting off your own words with a gasp as his thumb starts to move quicker. 

“Want my tongue where, baby?”

“Clit. Please.”

“That’s a good girl.” He chides, grinning up at you as he shifts upwards. The sound that comes from your mouth is close to a cry and completely unwarranted because he’s not even touching you. 

“Like being my good girl?” Eddie asks cockily, laughing softly.

You almost want to flick him in the head but you can’t when his tongue connects with you again, sucking and lapping at you.

“Hmm? Are you my good girl?” He asks again.

“Y-yes. L-like being your good g-girl.” You say, hips starting to stutter and breath turning to pants.

“Gonna use my fingers too, is that okay?” He asks, pausing for your answer.

“Good, please, fingers.” You say squirming against the mattress for friction. 

You feel his fingers run along your slit, gather wetness before one rests at your entrance. Sinking it in, he goes slow, bringing his mouth back to your clit at the same time. Once it’s fully inside you, he pulls back out, pushing in quicker. Although his finger is thicker than your own, one isn’t enough.

“More. Two.” You gasp, hoping he’ll understand your broken message. 

He pulls out before introducing a second. This time, you feel a nice stretch that makes you grind your hips down into the mattress. Once he’s got them both into the knuckle, he shifts on the mattress, getting comfortable, but as he does, his fingers wiggle inside you, brushing a spot that feels absolutely divine, a spot you’ve never been able to reach on your own. As quickly as you feel it, it’s gone.

“Eddie. Do that again.” You say, breathiness put on pause at his accidental discovery. 

“Do… what.” He says, confused since all he did was shift so he was laying flat on his stomach.

“You, like, wiggled.” You say showing him your own hand trying to demonstrate what it felt like. At your guidance he does it again and there it is, making your hips stutter.

“Oh.” Eddie says, sounding bewildered at how that one little movement causes waves in your body. He does it again this time focusing on the one area, and you gasp.

“Yeah. Right there.” You cry.

He does it again, this time exploratory, dragging his fingers out just enough to push them back in, keeping the curve in his fingers to find that spot. 

“Y-yes. Again.” You whimper.

He continues this, a few more times watching your body arch and writhe at the little movement, until he brings his mouth back to you licking up and down on your clit with the tip of his tongue.

Your breathing turns heavy quickly and you start to feel like you're burning. Panting, your hands search for any purchase on Eddie, landing on his head. Fingers intertwining in his hair, you cry out moans as your belly grows impossible tight. He groans against you as you accidentally pull his hair, the vibrations only adding to your pleasure. 

“You’re getting really tight.” He mumbles against you. 

“G-gonna. Gonna cum, Eddie.” You cry.

“Cum for me, baby. Be a good girl. C’mon, doing so good.” He coaxes lowly.

You let go. Squeezing your eyes shut, you feel waves of ecstasy wash over you, seas of desire flooding over you, pent up oceans setting their tides free. 

Your head goes dizzy in your euphoric daze, galaxies appearing against your eyelids. Just when you think you’re lost in the pleasure you hear Eddie’s voice.

“That’s it, beautiful girl. Doing so good for me.” And you follow his voice, letting him guide you back to earth. 

Your hips are still stuttering at his movements, now feeling over sensitive.

“G-good. T-too much.” You stutter but Eddie gets the message, slowing his movements before pulling his fingers from you. Opening your eyes you watch him scissor his fingers in the air, eyes wide as he watches your slick stretch between them. Eddie catches your gaze before wiping his fingers on his boxers.

“That was so fucking hot, holy shit.” He says excitedly, eyes turning wide. “I want to do that so many more times. That was… you’re incredible.” He awes. 

“Was really good for me too, Eds.” You say, still catching your breath. You use your remaining energy to reach forward, coaxing him to come to you. When he gets closer, your fingers rest at the waistband of his boxers.

“Oh. I um-“ He says embarrassedly and suddenly you notice the wet patch on his boxers. The material still tents around him slightly, but the wet patch is unmistakable.

“You came?” You ask.

“Well, that was just really hot a-and I got carried away but if you give me a minute I’m already half hard again.” He says quickly, words rushing out. 

“Eddie, it’s okay. But if you want to keep going… I can help?” You offer, eyes motioning down to the semi tent in his boxers. He perks up before visibly trying to hide his excitement. 

“Only if you want to.” He says shyly. 

“I want to.” You smile at him before lifting yourself from the bed. “Okay, pretty boy. You lay here now and I’ll make you feel good.”

“You think I’m a pretty boy? Eddie laughs, complying with you as you position him how you want him.

“Eddie, I think you’re the prettiest boy I’ve ever met. Handsome. Gorgeous. Hot. All of the attractive synonyms.” You laugh and Eddie’s cheek flush once again. “Let’s get these sticky things off you, huh?” You say winking at him, fingers playing with the waistband of his boxers. “That okay, big boy?” You tease. He does look big though, not that you have anything to compare him to. 

Eddie clears his throat before hands reach for his boxers but you stop him with a tut. 

“Nuh-uh. Tell me what you want, baby. You want these off?” You say, teasing him with the same tone he used. Even though it’s a tease, he goes rigid beneath you, nodding dumbly. 

“Want these off, please.” He replies.

“Aw please? So polite of you to say please right before I’m about to suck your dick.” You say keeping the same tone. With your eyes on the waistband as you work the boxers down, you physically see his cock kick up at your words and he’s now longer half hard, he’s fully hard. 

He lifts his hips for you and it’s enough to pull the fabric down. As the elastic passes down his hips, setting him free, his dick bobs against his lower belly, settling for you to gawk at.

Your eyes go wide. You’re sure he’s big. There’s no way he’s not. And the pearly shine glossing over him makes it look almost angelic, and you know it’s just a penis, but he looks so beautiful, so pretty and pink with a flushed tip. You gawk in awe, unnoticeing of the way Eddie blushes and squirms under your attention.

“You’re staring. Is it weird? What’s wrong?” Eddie says, hands shooting to cover himself.

“No-no.” You say holding his wrist. “Just, you look really big. Are you big? I’m not really sure but you look big?” You ramble, trying to explain yourself quickly. Eddie laughs, bringing a hand to his face wiping over his chin. He looks at your with a smirk.

“You didn’t believe me all those times I told you I had a big dick?” He laughs. 

“Fuck no. You’re so full of shit all the time, how could I believe anything you say?” You laugh, swatting at him lightly.

“Well, I’m pretty sure it’s average size, so maybe you’re right.” He laughs softly.

“Average?” You say shocked. “But it’s so…” You trail off, finally holding him, your fingers barely wrapping all the way around him. “And you’re so pretty.” You say astounded.

“C’mon, sweetheart. Don’t call me pretty, then my dick pretty. That’s messed up.” He laughs.

“But it’s true.” You say pouting your lip out at him. “All of you is so so pretty.” 

You tighten your fingers around him, watching his face. His mouth falls open slightly and you drag your hand up his sticky shaft, spreading his cum over him. It doesn’t feel as wet as you think it should so you lean over him, letting spit dribble from your lips landing right on the tip and he lets out a heavy breath.

“Baby, you’re gonna have about a minute before you have to stop or I’ll cum again. Just warning you.” Eddie says before sucking in a harsh breath. 

“I’ll make my minute count then.” You laugh, before leaning forward lowering your mouth to him. 

As your hands spread the spit over the shaft, you open your mouth enough to poke your tongue out, swirling over the tip, tasting the unfamiliar saltiness. You hum, before lowering yourself even more, taking the tip in your mouth, closing your lips around him. He whimpers immediately, without you doing as much as sucking.

You let your tongue swirl slightly before flattening it, lowering your mouth onto him. His hips jerk slightly and you hear a squeak come from him that makes you look up.

“Wanna hear you, Eddie.” You say when you clue in that he’a trying to be quiet. 

“Feels really good.” He says breathily.

You take him in your mouth again, sinking your hands on his shaft in time with your mouth before coming back up and repeating. Eddie’s moans and whimpers fill the room and you can feel the throb between your legs, your neediness returning. You arch your back up, squeezing your thighs, trying to find any sort of relief. 

You feel Eddie’s hand on your back, running up and down, making you shiver. He stops his movements, tugging you closer to him until his hand reaches under your torso, his fingers finding the slickness of your cunt before they’re rubbing against your clit making you push your ass further in the air.

You relish in your own pleasure before remembering that this is supposed to be for Eddie. You sink your mouth as far as it can go, pulling up quickly. You do it again, this time going further, nose almost brushing against the wispy hairs at his base. 

“F-fuck.” Eddie groans, fingers pausing in their movements on your clit. 

When you pull up from him, his hips rise with you, chasing your mouth before he settles back on the bed. You let your hands rub up and down his length, while you catch your breath. 

You sink down into him again, letting him slide all the way into your throat. You hold it as he hums and whimpers, letting your hands sit at his base, accidentally adding pressure to his balls that makes him jerk up into your mouth. You gag as he hits deep in your throat, before instinctively swallowing around him. He moans loudly, whimpering turning in a chorus of expletives until he realizes what he just did. 

“Sorry! Sorry! Didn’t mean to do that. Sorry!” He says, his hand cradling your face as you gasp for a breath of air.

“S’okay.” You reply, sitting up enough to get a clear view of him. “Kinda liked choking on your dick.” You say smiling, wiping the corners of your lips. Eddie squeezes his eyes shut before throwing his head back against the pillow.

“Fuuuck. Don’t say that, I’ll cum. I’m fragile.” He groans, sucking in a deep breath. 

You watch him for a moment, the quick rise and fall of his chest making you smile. You didn’t know you needed Eddie like this, but seeing it, seeing him like this, you could never not have him like this ever again. 

“Are you ready?” You ask.

“Ready.” He replies, sitting up quickly. 

You switch spots with Eddie once again, with you laying flat on your back on the bed. Eddie hovers over you, figuring out where to situate himself.

“Oh fuck.” He says suddenly, his head meeting your chest as he shrinks into himself, hair tinkling you in the process.

“What’s wrong?” You ask, hands finding the sides of his head to pull him to look at you.

“‘Member that box of condoms Wayne bought?”

“Yeah?” You laugh.

“Well he bought it when we were like 15, so, like, obviously they were very old… they expired so I threw them out.” He says, embarrassment flashing in his eyes.

“Okay…” you say skeptically, not understanding exactly what he’s getting at.

“I don’t have any condoms.” He groans, hanging his head again.

“Oh.” You respond.

“Sorry.” Eddie starts rambling more apologies but you interrupt him. 

“I never told you this— cause it was so embarrassing at the time, but…” You trail off, formulating your words in your head. Eddie looks up at you with narrowed eyes, trying to piece together your words. “…around the same time Wayne gave you the condoms, my mom also made me start taking birth control cause she was so sure that you were gonna get me pregnant.” You say, annoyed at the memory of your mom pestering you at 15 to ‘take the goddamn pill’ everyday.

“Seriously?” Eddie laughs.

“Yeah. She was so fucking annoying about it too. I almost told you about it but I was so embarrassed.” You say, scrunching your face at the memory. 

“If you had told me I probably would have cum in my pants— shit especially at 15. If the wind blew the wrong way I was blowing my load.” He laughs, dimples deepening on his cheeks.

“Yeah cause that’s so different from now.” You tease, rolling your eyes. 

“Trust me. Way different.” He laughs. “You know Wayne thought I’d get you pregnant too. ‘You get that girl pregnant, her dad will kill us both, boy.’ Eddie says, mocking Wayne’s drawl. 

“My moms thing was ‘sometimes things just happen and it’s always good to be prepared’.” You say, pitching your voice up to mock your mom.

“Well she’s right. A few years ahead of her time, but your moms always been a smart cookie.” Eddie says, finger bopping your nose when you scrunch it.

“Okay, let’s stop talking about our parents this is so fucking weird.” You laugh, grabbing Eddie’s hand to stop him from poking at your face some more.

“Wait, just to be clear. You’re on the pill and…?” Eddie says, leading you to finish his thought. 

“I mean, neither of us have done this before so we’re clean and like… yeah on the pill, so?” 

“You want me to just.. stick it in… plain? Raw? Naked? Bareback?” Eddie says rotating through the words trying to find one that sounds good but failure is evident in the way he cringes at himself. 

“Eddie. ‘Stick it in’ would ya?” You say mocking his choice of words, making him visibly regret them as he shakes his head. 

He shuffles closer to you, on his knees between your thighs. He hooks his hands under your calves, pulling you closer and spreading you, making your stomach flip in anticipation. 

You watch as he takes himself in his hand, stroking once before letting the head slide through your folds until it’s resting at your entrance. 

“Wait, Eddie!” You say, when you feel him start to push in. He stops immediately, eyes shooting to you. “Sorry, just want you to hold my hand.” You say shyly, reaching your hand toward his free one. 

“Of course, baby. I got you.” He says, squeezing your fingers in his palm.

With your hand in his, his other hand continues guiding himself into you, giving you a look to make sure it’s okay now. You nod your head, squeezing his hand, and he starts to push in. 

It’s a stretch at first. A burning stretch that steals all the air from your lungs, making you squeeze Eddie’s hand harshly. His thumb rubs soothingly on the back of your hand as he offers sweet nothings but you drown them out, squeezing your eyes shut.

“Hey, baby?” He questions pulling you from your thoughts as he stills his slow push.

“Hmm?” You question, eyes opening to meet his.

“Doing okay?” He asks, eyes soft and voice gentle.

“Stings a bit.” You say trying to brush it off. It’s really not that bad, just uncomfortable. 

“Want to stop?” 

“No. Feels… less sting-y already, just keep going.” You encourage truthfully. Eddie watches you for another second searching for truth. You smile at him and he nods before he starts pushing his hips forward again agonizingly slow. 

“Fuck.” He groans under his breath as his hips connect with yours, bottoming out inside of you. Your free hand finds his hip, holding him in place while you adjust. 

“How’s it?” You ask, filling the silence in the room as you shift your hips to try and make it more comfortable.

“You’re so warm and wet. You feel so fucking good, holy shit.” Eddie babbles words coming from the tip of his tongue like he was bursting to say them, his eyes twinkling in the light as he looks at you. Your heart flutters at his sincerity. “And so fucking tight. You’re squeezing me so hard.” Eddie says, shutting his eyes in pleasure, drawing your attention to his bottom lip as he bites it harshly. 

With your hand on his hip, you use it to pull yourself forward. The shifting draws his attention, looking at you curiously until you pucker your lips at him with a smile. Leaning down into you, he connects his lips with yours, kissing you tenderly. What really gets your attention is the way his moving makes his cock drag inside of you, making your toes curl at the sensation, moaning into Eddie’s mouth. 

You tap his side, trying to get him to move, but he gets lost in the kiss, mouth moving against your fervently.

“Eddie, you can move, please.” You whine into his mouth. 

“Yeah?” He responds, kissing you again before pulling away, cock shifting inside you again hitting that same spot he found earlier making your breath hitch. 

You don’t respond to him, too busy searching for that feeling again, shifting your own hips against him, deflating with a ‘hmph’ when you can’t get it.

“Eddie.” You whine because he’s still not moving and when you look at him, he’s smiling at you with a shit faced grin. You furrow your brows at him, not impressed.

“Is my baby getting impatient? Hm?” Eddie coos and you sink your head into the pillow with a grunt, annoyed at his teasing. 

“Eddie.” You warn.

“Oh. She’s real impatient, huh? What do I got to do to make you my good girl again?” He teases, hand dragging up the side of your leg.

“Fucking. Move.” You answer harshly, making Eddie laugh. 

“You know, I always like it when you’re mean to me.” He says, making you blush.

“‘M not mean.” You say softly. Yeah… maybe you have a few choice words here and there but mean? Never…

“Mean. Violent too. Got lots of bruises from you over the years. But I liked it.” He says, voice faded into a low rumble, his hand rubbing your thigh all the way down to your hip.

“Please, Eddie.” You whine when his roaming hand sits on your lower belly, thumb grazing over your cunt.

“Gonna rub your little clit, okay? Want you to enjoy this before I blow my load embarrassingly quickly.” He whispers, the last part more meant for himself. 

His thumb sinks into your folds, making your lower body jolt as he presses your button, easing up into little circles again making you sigh. 

“Can you move please, Eddie. Really want you to move.” You say, voice coming out soft and whiny like a whimper.

“I know baby, just trying not to cum so quickly.”

“You can, don’t care, just want to feel you.” You say breathily as his hips pull back. Paired with his motions on your clit, the friction makes your stomach tense. 

Eddie moves achingly slow, pulling all the way out before pushing back in. You anxiously await for him to hit that spot but it never comes. You can tell he’s looking for it too with the way his face contorts, gears turning in his head. 

You cant your hips trying to shift and Eddie’s quick to help you, freeing both his hands from you, bringing them to the backs of your thighs. When he fumbles, folding you into yourself, pushing your knees up, that's when you feel it.

“Right there!” You say, hand shooting to rest on his hold on your leg.

“Yeah?” He asks, eyes on you. 

“Yeah.” You gasp as he sits up straighter on his knees at this angle, cock pushing against that spot.

Once he rights himself, he pulls out, pushing in slowly, the head of cock dragging deliciously against that spot making you moan. He does it again, just as slowly, before he grows in confidence, starting to pick up the pace.

“Fuck. You feel so good, baby. Feels like you’re sucking me back in every time.” He groans, exhaling harshly as his balls hit against your ass with every thrust. He reaches for your free hand, pulling it to hold on to your knee. When you comply, he brings his hand back to your clit, rubbing quick little circles on you. 

“E-Eddie.” You gasp, feeling the tightness in your stomach growing.

“Doing so good for me, missy. Being such a good girl letting me fuck you raw.” Eddie babbles with barely any coherency, his words traveling right to your core, pooling heat and adding intensity to your pleasure.

“F-feels so good Eddie. Y-your cock feels so good.” You babble, his thrusts punching the air from your lungs as his own neediness increases. 

“Gotta cum for me baby. Won’t last. Know you can do it.” He pleads breathily, thumb increasing in speed against you making you cry out in pleasure. 

Squeezing your eyes shut, you feel it coming. 

“G-gonna-” You pant. Eddie hums in response knowing what you’re saying but you don’t have the chance to finish the sentiment because you’re shaking in pleasure, intensity hitting you like an 18-wheeler.  Eddie speeds up, chasing his own high while you feel like you’re floating through time and space.

“Where- where?” He says panicked, but you suddenly don’t care about anything other than feeling him dragging in and out of you, his erratic rubbing of your clit elongating your high, bringing you impossibly higher.

Eddie grunts harshly, jolting inside of you as you feel a subtle warmth seeping into you, filling you up and it makes your stomach flip in excitement. 

He continues his stuttering, hips jerking in and out of you, working himself through his orgasm and you open your eyes to see his face contorted in a pleasure that makes your belly tingle. His bangs are stuck to his forehead, cheeks flushed pink, a sheen of sweat covers his chest, and shit you thought he was pretty before but he looks absolutely ethereal like this. 

His convulsing thrusts slow before he’s collapsing on top of you, pushing the air from your lungs in surprise.

You bring your hands to wrap around his neck, hugging him into you. Your fingers dance through his curls as he huffs into your skin. 

“Sorry baby, didn’t mean to cum in you, I just panicked when you didn’t answer and then I swear to god I blacked out.” He says nervously.

“I liked it.” You say quietly. Eddie stirs on top of you but you hug his closer not wanting him to move.

“You liked it?” He questions.

“Yeah. Liked feeling you fill me up. Felt exciting.” You say nervously, not sure if that’s weird. 

“You’re gonna make me hard again and I haven’t even pulled out.” He says and you laugh.

The both of you rest, catching your breath and relaxing into each other. The feeling of Eddie on you is surprisingly comfy despite how heavy he is, it’s a welcome weight on you after feeling so floaty. 

You aren’t sure how long you both lay like that, but after what could have been minutes, hours, or days, Eddie kisses your chest where he lays, before shifting his hips, pulling from you. The drag out feels sore and you can’t help the whimper that escapes you. 

“Sorry.” He mumbles, pushing himself up on his arms, moving up to press a kiss to your lips. 

Eddie rolls to his side, landing on the bed beside you, arms pulling you by the waist closer to him. When you shift, you feel yourself leaking, eyes shooting wide at the odd sensation.

“Eddie, your cum— it’s coming out.” You say, starting to sit up.

“What?” He says dumbly before clueing in. “Oh, shit I’ll get something.” He says, gracelessly pushing you back down, hooking a leg over you to jump off his bed. You don’t notice, but when he stands, his eyes go to the floor, bending down to pick up a dirty shirt. He’s quick to return to the bed, moving between your legs.

“Oh, baby, you should see this.” Eddie says, eyes lighting up as he stares between your legs. “You look so pretty with my cum leaking out of you like that. Holy shit.” He says, completely mesmerized. 

You sit up enough to catch a glimpse that makes your stomach flip. The ab strength needed to look is too much for your tired body so you flop back down on the bed, leaving Eddie to finish up his gawking. 

He takes in the sight of you for a few more seconds before wiping you, making you hiss at the contact. 

“Sore.” You say, eyes traveling down to watch what he’s doing and you realize that he’s using a shirt to clean you up, one that you’re positive was on his floor. “Eddie, are you seriously using a dirty shirt?” You say, voice coming out haughty and stern.

“Not the first time I cleaned up cum with this shirt, sweetheart.”

“Ew gross Eddie. I've worn that shirt before.” You shrill and Eddie smirks heavily. “You’re fucking sick, you know that?” You laugh. 

“It was clean when you wore it and I didn't do it on purpose! You grabbed the shirt and what was I supposed to say? ‘Strat, get a new shirt, I used that one as a cum rag last week’” He mocks and you roll your eyes. 

He throws the shirt back to the floor, carelessly flopping himself beside you again.

“Stay the night?” Eddie asks, cozying into you, kicking up the blanket from the foot of the bed to cover you both. 

“Hm… one condition.” You say. 

“What’s that?” Eddie smiles.

“Don’t call me ‘missy’ during sex ever again. That’s what Wayne calls me.” You say, grimacing in disgust at the thought.

“Oh gross, I didn’t even notice I said that.” Eddie cringes.

“Yeah, gross.” You affirm. “So it’s a deal?” You laugh.

“Absolutely.” He says, pulling you closer to him until you're pressed into his chest.

Your heart feels full. Eddie is your person through and through, you’ve never been more sure of anything in your life.

“I love you, Eddie.”

“I love you too, Strat.”

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

[mariamakeslemons]

Spooktober 2024: Day 3 Werewolf

Warning: Reader is attempted to be gender neutral (although I might have slipped female descriptors in there, if you catch them let me know), mentions of an almost doctor/patient relationship (Soap is a dog and I will die on this hill)

I could easily expand on this, but I didn't want to go too long for a piece of spooktober...

Price hurries down the hall, ignoring Kate behind him as she calls out for him to wait. He can’t, not when Soap, the one he thought he lost, is just a bit further in this building. That loss has been a hole in the 141, one that hasn’t been filled no matter what the higher ups try.

“John, wait,” Kate pleads as they continue down the halls.

“No, Kate,” he finally snaps, “My boy is somewhere in here, and I need to see him.”

“John, stop,” Kate snaps. Price spins, ready to snarl at her, only to pause at the look on her face. It’s just as upset as he feels, but it’s sadder, a barer of bad news.

“Soap isn’t how he was,” she explains softly, “He’s… more aggressive, feral even. Here, they’re just trying to get him to be civil, not even disciplined. They said this saved his life, but…” she trails off, unable to keep eye contact with Price. But, he hears it. Like an echo from Shepard, he knows just what she’s not saying.

He’s a dog on a leash. If you’re not careful, he’ll be put down.

Taking a breath, Price straightens up and says, “I still need to see him.”

“And you will, if you could tell me who you wish to visit,” a voice asks from behind him. Both Kate and Price jump and spin around, facing you as you look at the pair calmly. A clipboard in your hand and the white cardigan you wear over what could only be street clothes makes Price raise an eyebrow.

“You work here?” he asks incredulously. You give a sharp nod and smile, showing off teeth that are a little sharper than they should be.

“Yes sir. I’m in charge of a few of the patients here, so I’ll be able to point you to the right room,” you explain.

“I’m looking for John MacTavish,” Price says, cutting the chase, “He was one of my men and I need to see that he’s actually alive.” Your face drops into a frown, nails tapping at the clipboard in your hand.

“You weren’t supposed to be here so soon,” you mumble, almost to yourself as you look down at your papers, before sighing. You turn to the hall beside them, motioning them to follow, before striding off. Price follows close behind, taking note of where you are leading them. The walls are a soft blue instead of the stark white of most hospitals, almost like it’s to relax people instead of stitch them up. You arrive at a door and Price lets out a surprised bark of laughter.

“Sir?” you ask, turning to him curiously. Price shakes his head, looking at the numbers ‘141’ in amusement.

“Sorry, love. That’s the number of the taskforce,” he explains. You blink at him before making a noise of understanding and knocking on the door. The snarl that sounds through the door makes Price and Kate tense, almost confused. You were supposed to bring them to Soap, not a beast.

“I know you did not just snarl at me!” you snarl back through the door. Immediately, the snarling turns into whines, like an apology. You roll your eyes and gently open the door, finally revealing the room to Price and Kate.

“What the hell?” Kate gasps and Price feels that as they look at the room. There is a low bed in the corner but that’s all the similarities the room has to a hospital room. Especially with the giant beast in the corner, staring at them with achingly familiar blue eyes that are just as intense as they had been when they were on a human face.

“…Soap?” Price tries, watching the beast cautiously. It- He relaxes, letting his tongue loll out of his mouth and his tail wags a little.

“Can you speak a little for me, John?” you ask, reminding Price that you didn’t leave after opening the door. Soap starts making the strangest barks Price has ever heard, something that’s a combination of drawn-out howl and short snaps, but you huff in amusement.

“So, you recognize both of them?” you ask, laughing as Soap’s great head bobs up and down hard enough to bounce the rest of his body. Price takes a step forward, only to come up short when you hold a hand out to stop him. He would have lashed out at you, if you didn’t give him an apologetic smile as Soap immediately growled and bared his teeth at Price.

“It’s still a little too early in his treatment to have anyone but his designated handler,” you explain apologetically, “Right now, he’s extremely territorial and he needs a temporary pack member who can act as Alpha while he adjusts.”

“And it can’t be Price?” Kate demands.

“Is Price secretly a werewolf?” you ask bluntly, ripping back the metaphorical curtain of this situation.

“I didn’t know Soap was,” Price decides to comment.

“He didn’t either,” you admit, tapping Soap’s nose without looking. Immediately, the Sergeant stops growling and whines at you pathetically, nosing at your side for some positive attention (like he’d do after Ghost scolded him or if the pretty birds at the bar turn him down and he slinks back to the table). You scratch at his muzzle as you continue, “His bloodline is old, almost buried in his genes, but it still wants to survive. Since the bullet wasn’t silver, all that needed to happen is for a need to survive and he revived as a werewolf.”

“So, he felt a need to survive and that’s it?” Kate asks. Price knows what she’s doing, checking for more information that could be used for the militaries that she works with. You snort, obviously reading between the lines as well.

“Of course not,” you huff, “There’s a lot of other factors, but that was what we could figure out about his revival.” Kate frowns and Price can’t help but feel the same. There’s no way to know what caused Soap to shift? Does that mean anyone can just change if they have the werewolf genes? Almost like you can read his mind, you shrug and continue, “Unless you are born into it, lycanthrope is a weird condition to pinpoint. John fell into one of five categories from what data we can collect.”

“Five?” Price repeats curiously.

“Fight, flight, freeze, fawn, and unknown,” you explain, “Fight is the category John falls into, as he felt a need to stay alive, not for survival, but due to a more combative reason. Flight is more focused on surviving only. Freeze is when one is confronted with a threat and needs to stand their ground for some reason, usually protecting family. Fawn is when a fellow werewolf finds them and they’re essentially soulmates, thus “awakening” the wolf. And unknown is pretty self-explanatory.”

“Werewolves can awaken others?” Price asks. You nod with a shrug.

“Yeah, but that’s extremely rare. It’s just been seen enough to make note of,” you explain, huffing when Soap tries to push his large head against your stomach. Price snorts, relaxing a little as he crosses his arms.

“…Will my team be able to see him?” he asks, looking between you and Soap. He doesn’t want to make assumptions, but he wants Soap back. He wants the 141 to be whole again, to have all his boys together. But, having nearly lost the Scot, he wouldn’t be surprised in Soap wanted to leave the military entirely.

“Give us a week, and you all can see him in person,” you declare confidently, “But, we can set up a video call to help him remember your team.” Price nods once, more than ready to do whatever he can to start the healing process for all his boys.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

“He’s here?” Gaz asks nervously, fidgeting with his coat nervously.

“He is,” Price reassures his Sergeant, looking at Ghost carefully. His Lieutenant is silent, but his fists are clenched and his eyes stare straight ahead from the balaclava. You walk up to them, smiling pleasantly.

“Welcome back, Captain,” you greet him, turning to Gaz and Ghost to give them nods, “Hello gentlemen. I take it, you two are part of the Captain’s taskforce?”

“Hello,” Gaz chokes, looking shocked at your appearance. Honestly, Price can’t blame the man. After no longer worrying about Soap, he did take note of how pretty you are. A soft thing that hides a steel blade behind a sweetness that doesn’t seem to curdle when someone misbehaves.

“If you gentlemen can follow me,” you request, leading them down the halls again. Today, there are more people in the halls than the last time Price had visited, but no one bothered them. Although, a random woman sneers at you, only to back down when you growl back.

“We’re here,” you declare upon arriving at room 141. You knock on the door and snort when Soap literally barks from in the room. Opening the door, Price finds Soap sitting on the bed, now in a human form. He is somehow even hairier than before, his ears a subtly pointed and his teeth are sharp, like yours are.

“Have you been behaving?” you ask as you walk into the room.

“Yeh, Ah hev,” Soap insists, watching as you gather chairs for the team to sit on. His blue eyes turn to the team and Price can practically see Soap piece together who they are.

“Captain… Price,” Soap finally greets, “…Gaz……LT?”

“Ghost,” Ghost corrects, although his tone is amused as he accepts the chair from you. Soap perks up at that, obviously catching the amusement.

“But Ah call ye LT,” he says. Price’s mouth twitches in amusement as Ghost sighs and nods. You laugh as Soap pumps his fist at being told he’s right.

“I call you Johnny,” Ghost adds on, watching as Soap pauses and tilts his head. There’s something wrong with how still the Scot is, Price decides, watching as Soap’s eyes stay focused on Ghost. Gaz shifts in his chair, which make’s Soap’s attention immediately snap to him.

“Do you remember your callsign?” Gaz asks.

“……Soap,” he finally says after a long, drawn out pause. Gaz grins and nods, which only makes Soap wiggle in happiness. You huff another laugh, which Soap takes as permission to pull you onto his lap, “Ma bonnie calls me John.”

“Oh, you’re dating?” Price can’t help but ask, immediately wary of your position in helping Soap recover.

“No,” you shoot down, “We’re not dating. He’s just clingy.” Soap whines as you wiggle from his grasp, hopping off the bed, “I’ll let you all get reacquainted. If you need me, the phone is on the desk over there and my extension is 762.” You slip out of the room, leaving the four men sitting in the room.

“…Ah’m gonna mate ‘em,” Soap declares with nod. Gaz cackles before poking at his fellow Sergeant, falling into their old back-and-forth easily. Price leans back in his chair, watching as Ghost rises from his chair to sit beside Soap on the bed, the low rumble of a terrible joke making the Scot light up with a cackle of his own. While he’s not too sure about much when it comes to werewolves, Price wouldn’t mind you getting together with Soap. After all, having an experienced wolf lead his boy would be for the best.

[damn-stark]

Chapter 36 Be The One Fallen from Grace, be Death

Chapter 36 of Sugar

A/N- More tears, but also a great fight ;)

Warning- Swearing, ANGST, fluff, violence and blood, talks of DEATH, suicide, and pregnancy, flashback, SPOILERS!!!! long chapter!

Pairing- Choso x Gojo!fem-reader, Suguru Geto x Gojo!fem-reader

Episode and or chapters- 239-243 and then the first half of 249

(Let me know if you want to be tagged)

————

Grief has never been kind. Perhaps it was never meant to be kind, but this time besides sorrow, grief comes with livid anger.

You feel it within you. Like a blaring red alarm warning of incoming danger, like a tilting glass object on an edge ready to fall and shatter, like furious liquid lava boiling within and rising to the top to get ready to explode and spread havoc with no remorse.

You also feel like spreading chaos for the hell of it, because you’re hurt and you can’t pick up the pieces. You hate serene peace but also crave its infinite embrace.

You can do it, you can be like a great disaster, a deadly plague that terrorized that Egyptian pharaoh centuries ago. You want people to feel your deep pain, but…how selfish does that sound? When there are other targets out in the open for you to hunt and kill?

Waiting albeit might be the death to your patience that runs low already. First Takaba has to trap Kenjaku with his cursed technique, and once Kenjaku is so deeply entranced then you can go for the kill. You’re waiting for that to go down, but Takaba just started so it will probably take some time, much to your dismay considering you’re alone with Okkotsu and his cursed spirit.

Bummer.

This is worse than having to endure being by a person you just talked shit about behind their back, this is like being alone with your parents. Only you tried to kill Okkotsu’s friends and him.

Tsk, what a life.

“I’m sorry.”

Oh, he speaks.

He’s so strong yet so awkward, your father would hate him. He’d be like if you have no confidence then what’s the point of being the strongest, or a sorcerer? You can’t cower and blah, blah.

“For what?” You probe and keep looking past the tree line to try and get a glimpse of Takaba and Kenjaku, but they’ve moved so you’ve lost sight of them. Which means you have to move along to keep sight of them.

“For your loss,” Okkotsu shares kindly, making you halt in your tracks and look down, whilst he just slows down and keeps adding on. “And for being Suguru Geto’s demise.”

You gasp and clench your hands to fists.

If Suguru were still alive you’d have Kiyoshi, Nanako, and Mimiko would still be alive, your family wouldn’t have betrayed you, and perhaps all this disaster wouldn't have happened so soon. You also probably wouldn’t talk to Satoru, you wouldn’t have made amends with Shoko, or met Hakari and Kirara, or Choso—no you would have, he’d be different and you wouldn’t have fallen in love with him so the twins you’re expecting now would not exist, your life would’ve been different, but Suguru…Suguru would’ve been alive.

Oh, Suguru.

No matter how much life has changed, your heart will always yearn for him. He was your first love, your husband, your beloved, the one who was always there first.

Satoru killed him—That’s right your brother killed him, Okkotsu pushed him close to death, but he could’ve been saved, it was Satoru who took him away from you. You can admit that it took a while to admit it.

Maybe it only set in your heart now that Satoru is gone too, or it was Okkotsu’s apology—even if it wasn’t Okkotsu who made the kill.

You just needed to hear those heavy words, maybe not from him, but Satoru isn’t here now and you could never make him say it, so hearing Okkotsu say it is a close second, something to aid your bleeding heart.

“Oh,” your voice quivers and you start walking again to fall by his side and meet his droopy eyes. “It wasn’t you Okkotsu.”

It took a lot for you to say it but you finally did and it surprises the boy.

“But…thank you,” you tell him with no ounce of hesitation, not a sound of forced acceptance because of your circumstances. You mean what you say and it leaves him speechless with only the ability to look at the deep but beautiful sorrow haunting your face.

“I…” you hesitate now and avert your gaze to look out and make sure you’re not caught before you’re supposed to pop out. “I’m sorry for hating you. It was easier hating you than piling something else on,” you pause as your brother's name reaches the tip of your tongue, and no matter how much you want to say it you can’t bring yourself to utter a syllable of his name.

“…on him,” you say instead because you know Okkotsu will understand. “You didn't deserve it.”

“Oh,” Okkotsu scoffs nervously and slows down to keep an eye on the men fighting instead. “Well, I understood. It’s okay.”

You share a mostly forced laugh and peer at him over your shoulder. “It’s okay to say you don’t forgive me. I won’t break. I would understand.”

Okkotsu quickly shakes his head. “No, no I don’t hold any grudges against you. It’s really okay.”

You won’t fall into a never-ending cycle so you take it as it is, you really don’t care. You just needed to share that and ease yourself of that weight of hating a kid for what he didn’t do.

“Your girlfriend must be mad that we got paired up. I would really hate to face her wrath, I mean I didn’t fight Toji Zen’in but hearing about him was enough of an experience. So I’d rather keep things passive with her.” you point out to keep things lighthearted.

For the first time since you got here, Okkotsu finally stops dead in his tracks, and as you hear him you look back at him and see that a furious blush has taken over his face.

Was it something you said?

Were you not supposed to not know that he’s dating Maki?!

“Girlfriend?” He almost chokes on his own saliva.

“Uh, Maki Zen’in?”

His face grows even more red and he quickly shuts you down without actually being loud. “No, no, no. She’s not my girlfriend! She’s just a friend. Yes, just a friend.” He laughs nervously and offers you a sheepish smile.

Oh shit!

This is the last time you gossip with Hakari and Kirara—then again you weren’t really gossiping, you were all assuming by looking at how close the pair is.

“Oh sorry. I just assumed,” you say in a quick breath and laugh nervously before you look ahead and hide how embarrassed you feel and look.

“It’s okay,” he says once again and that’s probably the only thing he’ll be capable of saying to you from now on. How embarrassing.

Why couldn’t you and Choso come here together? Him killing his father would be poetic justice. Plus it wouldn’t be awkward and you’d be comforted by his presence even if he was being quiet. He’s so far now, so far and you’re left in the dark about his fate.

Maybe you’ve been clingy, maybe it’s due to your fear of being alone, but right now you wish you wouldn’t be far, or that he wouldn’t be out of sight, that way you can look out for him and save him from any fatal danger.

Which is funny because he wishes the same thing, it’s just…if you lose him you know you won’t love another soul ever again. Who else could love such a wicked creature like you the way he does?

So please higher beings, or whoever looks out for the mortals on earth, please, please don’t take Choso away.

“Oh damn,” Okkotsu whispers with shock.

You spot a cursed spirit in the distance surveilling the forest and stretch your arm out to point your finger at the distant curse.

“What is it?” You quiere as you shoot a fire orb from your finger and thankfully manage to exorcize the cursed spirit before it could spot you. “Or,” you sigh and put your hand down. “Who is it?”

Okkotsu clears his throat. “Kashimo,” he reveals.

You clench your jaw and rub the bridge of your nose.

Truth is you didn’t know him for long at all, he was kind of rude, and very much egoistical, but still…he was your friend.

A friend you knew would die, he would say it. It’s the way his cursed technique worked, and that’s why he chose to come back, so he could use his technique against Sukuna and die fighting. However, maybe you got a bit carried away and hoped he’d live so he could continue to be annoying, and stay close to Kirara and Hakari whom he had become friends with. But he, like everyone else, is gone.

At least he went out fighting his beloved.

“And,” Okkotsu adds to the morbid news. “Sukuna is finally in his true form. Yuji and Higuruma are next.”

Well, you all hoped Sukuna would unleash his final form, it would be pretty pointless continuing to go out and fight him if he kept using Fushiguro’s body because he would only get boosted up after wearing everyone down or after killing everyone. At least now you can all go all out and have a chance to kill him. Once and for all this time.

“Well, we expected that much huh?” You mutter and stop as you get a good view of Kenjaku and Takaba fighting in the forest now.

“Hopefully this won’t take long,” Okkotsu adds as he falls beside you. “I don’t want to leave the others waiting too long.”

You let out a deep sigh and drop your gaze to the necklace Choso gave you. “Yeah,” you quietly agree. “Me neither. But even if Takaba can’t stand a chance, I’m sure you, Rika, and I can take him…We will kill Kenjaku,” you proclaim with a wicked smirk on your features.

——

*A FEW YEARS BACK*

“I had a dream,” you speak airily as you tap your fingers together.

Suguru answers with silence like you expected. He’s usually so curious about listening to you share your ridiculous dreams, but lately, he’s been…distant. He seems to be in his head a lot. It’s begun to worry you, and you’ve pointed it out to Satoru but he says to just let him be.

You can’t just be so ignorant of Suguru’s feelings, he’s your boyfriend. He’s been there for you at your lowest, you have to treat him the same. You don’t want to be those couples who avoid talking about their feelings hiding right under the surface to keep the honeymoon phase unbothered.

“…that you told me what bothered you,” you quickly redirect to him and nudge his knee with yours.

Finally, after seeming to be stuck in a storm of his thoughts, he comes out looking lost. “What? Sorry.”

You swallow back nervously and push yourself to your knees on your bed to face him better without having to crane your neck, and take his hand. “You’re worrying me Suguru,” you get straight to the point now that he’s only heightened your worry to the point you feel it in the pit of your stomach.

“Lately you’ve seemed distant, like your mind is miles away, are you okay?” You share your concern, causing his eyes to flicker down but his expression to remain frozen in that nonchalance.

“Yeah,” Suguru almost seems to bring up that answer like it was rehearsed. “I’m fine, darling, don’t worry about me.”

For a moment, for a flicker of a second, you see a crease between his thin and dark eyebrows, but he makes sure to play it off as nothing.

“Suguru,” you coerce him softly and lean over to rest your hand on his leg, and that touch on such a delicate place always gains his attention. Just like now, his deep and dark eyes meet your gaze, and you see a dark storm brewing within, reflecting a peril you can’t quite dissect yet. You’ll get there.

“Talk to me. You can trust me, you know that.” You say and pull out a strand of his hair so he can wear his usual bang.

Meanwhile, Suguru immediately finds it in him to nod so you won’t think otherwise. “Of course I trust you, but there’s nothing wrong, it's just teenage blues. Normal, don’t worry about me.”

Teenage blues?

Yeah, you feel a bit gloomy sometimes, Belinda says it’s normal because you’re growing, but for Suguru, there’s been a distinct gloom haunting him. And you know it’s still there, you see it underneath the surface. But maybe he’s not ready to share what he feels just yet, so you’ll give him space and just show him some more appreciation than you already do.

“So tell me,” Suguru quickly changes the subject as he leans over and snakes an arm around your shoulders to swiftly turn you around and lay you back against him. “What was this dream about?”

“You know,” you don’t address that yet, you just need to lift his spirits a bit. “I’d be a hot housewife.”

Suguru’s fingers stiffen on your skin and he quickly picks at your comment in confusion. “What do you mean?”

You push yourself up and twist your body to face him as you remain at his side. “I would make a hot wife,” you repeat before you lean closer to explain the thought process behind your comment. “If it’s this part of your life that’s bothering you, you could wait until I turn 18 because that’s when I get my inheritance. And when we get that money, and with the money we make here, we could,” you pause and shrug suggestively. “Move somewhere far away from curses. Somewhere like Alaska, Fiji, Hawaii?��� You suggest in a playful tone, making two emotions battle within him, amusement and admiration.

“We would probably have to pick up some odd jobs so we won't get bored, but we could live comfortably,” you continue to tell a dream that you make up at the spot, but one that could be a possibility. “We could live by the beach, far from Japan and this part of our world. We could live good lives.”

You were a rich girl, like an old money rich that would never know a day of poverty, your own kids would never know it, nor the kids after them. And this world you so easily wanted to cast aside was your entire world, you haven’t known anything else but this world of cursed energy and all that comes with it, so hearing you say you would risk not living such a luxurious life away from the world you knew leaves Suguru besotted.

“You’d do that?” He can’t help but ask so pathetically.

Not like you cared or let it boost your ego, you continue to look at him like he's the sweetest thing in this world, like he's a beautiful starry night. That softness never fades from your eyes nor from your voice. “Of course. As long as I’m with you I would be happy to leave this world behind.”

He knew that. He knew that you would have no debate leaving this sorcerer world behind because of how poorly your family treated you, but even yet, how silly is loving someone? Even if he knew, hearing you pour your heart out still steals his breath away.

“Well then if I ever feel like running off…” he pauses and exhales deeply as he feels so enamored by your sweet words. “I know who I’ll turn to.”

You smile giddily and lean in to press a peck on his lips. “You need only say the words.” You whisper.

Suguru smiles softly and hums. “I love you,” he says so tenderly. “More than anything.”

Your breath catches as if it’s the first time hearing those enchanting words and you stare at him dumbfoundedly before a silly lovestruck smile tugs on your lips. “I love you too Suguru.”

Suguru slowly cups your jaw and presses his lips against yours to feel the warm and wet feeling of your lips on his. Which is such an intimate act that always makes you nervous.

“So are you going to tell me that dream of yours?” He finally returns to your previous subject, making you pull back to lay back against him.

“Well,” you finally share lightheartedly. “I was standing in a pool of blood, I was covered in it and all I know is that I’m turning into a curse. But,” you add much to his surprise. “I wasn’t scared because you were there too.”

Suguru picks up your fingers to just mindlessly fiddle with them before he teases. “You do know what a nightmare is right?”

You roll your eyes and nod. “Yes, but it wasn’t a nightmare because you were there before you started doing, like, weird flips.”

Suguru snorts softly and you can't help but get lost in the moment and laugh with him. However, you come to an abrupt stop and tilt your head back to meet his gaze that's intently on you. “Swear to me that if I ever turn to a curse you’ll kill me. I don’t want to lose control of myself.”

Suguru’s eyebrows knit together with disbelief but before he can try and talk you out of this fear-filled pact you press him. “Just humor me.”

Suguru exhales deeply and chooses not to argue his way around this. “Alright. Swear.”

You sigh with relief before you then grow serious but reassuring at the same time. “If you ever turn to a curse I’ll exorcize you. I promise, even if it takes my soul and my ability to love again I will do it.”

Suguru’s cheeks grow a tint of pink that he can’t hide because you’re so close.

“And if we lose our minds together,” you continue playfully. “We can be like Romeo and Juliet and kill one another.”

Suguru shakes his head, but you cut him off before he can correct you. “Lovers suicide, how romantic.” You sigh and press your hand against your chest to dramatically recite a quote. “Love is a smoke made with the fume of sighs; Being purged, a fire sparkling in lovers' eyes; Being vexed, a sea nourished with lovers' tears; What is it else? A madness most discreet, A choking gall, and a preserving sweet.”

“How do you memorize a quote but not the ending?” Suguru teases you with a bit of judgment, you sense it. But whatever.

“It’s my favorite quote from that story,” you brush him off. “Like it?”

“Of course.” He assures you nonetheless, making your heart swoon and a happy smile tug on your lips. For he always knew how to make you smile with so much glee, and so did you always find a way to pull a genuine smile out of him that's filled with nothing but endearment. Even if a deep anguish clouds over him.

——

*NOW*

More than anything is what he would always say. At first, you didn’t know the meaning behind that—it’s just a simple phrase is what you’d always think, something sweet from someone even sweeter, but then, after his defection, as the years passed and Suguru changed, that phrase never left his vocabulary and that’s when you knew that he really loved you over everything and more than life itself.

You didn't just live for the hope of it all, you lived for each other. Which is so cheesy, and so clinging, but no non-sorcerer or anyone could understand the true meaning behind something so deep.

Which is why it’s so weird now—Not living without him, you can live without Suguru now. At first, going on and dragging your feet through life was like a person going through withdrawal, only there was no chance you could get your fix after his death. No curse and no cursed energy could bring him back, so you were stuck.

But now, you’ve healed. You would like to say that you don’t love so deeply anymore, but…you’re married already after 2 months of knowing Choso, and there's a chance you could relive all that trauma of loss again, but you’re not hurting now. Not about that love.

But even then it’s weird watching Kenjaku parading around in Suguru’s body. You quickly told them apart, you knew the deep workings of Suguru's soul after all, but seeing that long black hair draped over his back, seeing those dark passionate eyes, and that precious face makes you feel all dizzy—until you see the unique stitches.

It’s so surreal, more so because as you pay attention to Takaba and Kenjaku, you see Suguru’s body turned into a female nurse because of Takaba’s technique. Kenjaku is a female nurse. It’s…Well, there’s a possibility of what adult Satori could look like.

You always wanted a glimpse into the future, you never thought you would get one this way….

This fight is odd, it’s like watching a bad sitcom. What did you sign up to?

“What the hell is the matter with you!” Takaba bellows as he wears doctors get up to act out whatever scene you just focused on. “Is that how you treat someone in the pits of despair?! Well?!”

“You don’t look very depressed to me!”

No, no, you get it now, this is like those sitcoms they dump into the graveyard hours on TV, the time slots hardly anyone watches. Yeah! That’s it.

“Fine, fine,” Takaba pretends to deescalate whatever it is they’re fighting about in that fake reality. “We’ll settle this fair and square with rock, paper, scissors.”

Takaba and Kenjaku clasp their hands together and raise them over their heads, whilst you tilt your head and assume they’ll suddenly spin around like western cowboys in a standoff. You actually almost get amused, but…they start to dance and sing.

Would it be wrong to say you prefer blood and destruction? Like, yes, you love funny stuff, but considering who you left behind and the battle going on miles away, this is distasteful. And gross considering they just stabbed each other's fingers in each other's noses.

The one good thing is that their scenes keep changing. Like now for example, now they’re competing in those question games that air on TV, and Kenjaku’s face is contorting into silly facial expressions Suguru would do when he was in his high school years, and once when he was trying to make baby Satori laugh. Did he?

No, she just stared at him with judgy and beady eyes. It was the cutest thing and a lot funnier than his attempt at making her laugh.

Yet even if you reminisce about the past, when you lift your eyes your hatred for this man grows livid.

How much longer will you have to keep watching this? At this rate, you’ll end up falling asleep!

You groan under your breath and then frown with displeasure before you lean your body against the side of the tree and watch a street suddenly appear on the ground, and a black cat crossing a pedestrian crosswalk. It almost seems like it’s going to be hit by oncoming traffic, so as the fake sidewalk light turns red, Takaba tries to save it even if the car gets closer.

However, when he’s about to grab the cat, it suddenly turns to…Kenjaku!

He’s a freaky cat hybrid!

And now that you look at him look like some humanoid cat he’s actually terrifying rather than funny. You almost want to laugh at how creepy he looks, but you stand straight-faced and actually, feel impressed when the car from before hits Takaba, but he bounces out of the way with no repercussions.

It’s honestly very amazing and a great example of his powers.

Kenjaku even seems caught off guard by the suddenness of Takaba’s counter, but it’s a quick reaction before suddenly in a blink of an eye Takaba is a humanoid cat too and he’s drowning.

Kenjaku then appears on a surfboard and goes to his rescue. “Wait right there!! I’m coming to save you!!”

This time Takaba gets payback for Kenjaku’s surprise attack, and appears from behind Kenjaku with a Jetski, and slams right into his back, seeming to knock the wind out of Kenjaku. But before you can watch him hit the ground, the entire scene changes and it’s played off like Takaba is splashing him with water.

What a fake out! Boo!

“You got me good!” Kenjaku laughs along and splashes water at Takaba, creating a playful and almost serene scene.

Almost! Because then in a matter of a second the scene violently changes and Kenjaku is trying to drown Takaba with a sinister look on his face.

Alas, Takaba turns things around and plays it off to save himself. “Wait a sec!” Takaba cuts in humorously. “Taste some of this seawater!”

Kenjaku scoops up the water and his face lights up. “This isn’t water, it’s Fanta!” He laughs and you feel like you’re going to throw up.

This can’t be real. Please! Someone come kill you right now!

Anyhow the scene changes and Kenjaku and Takaba are in suits now in front of a stage of a real-looking audience.

“Huh?” Takaba seems to genuinely be confused by the change, but he also seems to be filled with awe.

“You’ve already warmed up plenty, haven’t you?” Kenjaku directs at Takaba. “Let’s do this partner.”

Takaba’s cheeks slowly redden and his response is given breathlessly. “Yeah.”

They both go up to the mic and like some heavenly intervention, Okkotsu finally distracts you from the horrible show. “Can I ask you something? If that’s fine.”

You keep your eyes on the men just to keep an eye on the scene and make sure your part isn’t coming up soon, but you still gracefully address Okkotsu’s question. “Depends what it is. Go on.”

You hear Okkotsu swallow nervously before he gets less confident and nervously brings up his question. “Why did you leave? I mean defect from school, from Jujutsu society?”

You scoff and immediately counter the boy. “I didn’t defect from Jujutsu society. That’s kind of ignorant of you to say, Okkotsu—”

“Oh, oh no, I—”

“Listen,” you cut off his nervous rambling. “Just because I didn't fit into this cookie image of what the higher-ups think a sorcerer should be, doesn’t mean I was out of the Jujutsu society. I was still a part of it. I was a curse-user, sure, but I was still here, I just changed my way of thinking that’s all,” you actually care to explain only because what you’re watching is boring.

“There’s many reasons that go into why I left,” you continue to explain. “Love, trauma, exhaustion, search for myself, and to sum it up realization,” you say and pause to stand up straight and draw out a deep breath.

“I realized,” you add and slowly lower your head to look at your nails.“That the non-sorcerers weren’t worth saving. No matter how heroic we are, they will always be selfish…we die trying to save them from the horrors they create and they clap and cheer at the death of an innocent young girl, they experiment on each other to achieve horrors that they can’t see. They hurt little kids because they’re different, because they themselves fear what they create, so why would I try and risk my life to save them when I could help us?” You rant as if you’re spewing your evil monologue to the hero. No remorse or pity. Just frustration and ache.

“That’s why I left Okkotsu,” you finish and lift your head to peer at him over your shoulder. He doesn’t look nervous, he stiffens when your eyes meet his, but he isn’t fidgety.

“But,” he surprises you by saying. “You’re ignorant too then…” he hesitates but his gaze doesn’t falter, and his lips twitch nervously. “Sorcerers are the same. We just have the power and the ability to not create horror, we’re strong and they’re not. Chaos and order.”

Rather than getting upset, you grin Instead over the fact that he’s quoting you.

“I’m selfish Okkotsu,” you admit with no sign of remorse. “If I have to pick between one evil, I pick us every time.” You could go on and on over why it will always be sorcerers over nonsorceres, but why should you waste your breath in explaining it to him? He's got strong beliefs. Besides, now doesn’t seem like the time to divulge into your deeper inner thinking.

“Hm, well I won’t say I see the way you think, but I appreciate you sharing your response with me,” Okkotsu says.

You answer with a hum and casually return your attention to the men.

“Hey, you okay?” You catch Kenjaku asking Takaba.

You sigh and lean back on the tree before you lift your hand to scratch your cursed worm's chin, making him lean towards you to appreciate your gesture.

“Yeah,” Takaba says breathlessly as his eyes take in the crowd. “I’m just thinking about curtains…”

Finally, what a drag!

“…on the show of my dreams…up until now you could probably say I wasn’t even qualified to spell the word comedian,” Takaba explains as his voice grows more and more shaky as his emotions rise. “But up on this stage, even your fangirls are making me happy. I want to keep going, I don’t want this to end!”

Kenjaku seems pensive, no malice lies behind his eyes, nor in his voice as he comforts his opponent. “Don’t cry, you’ll spoil the mood.”

He pats Takaba’s chest and everything changes back to the forest, but Takaba lays on the ground with a gown and head mirror on his head. Which means one thing now, this is your time.

It’s curtains for them, but what about an encore?

“It’s time, Okkotsu,” you let the boy know what he’s already preparing for, and with not a moment to spare while Kenjaku is babbling on, Okkotsu runs out of the forest and sneaks up to Kenjaku from behind without even causing the man to bat an eye.

The plan is for Okkotsu to catch Kenjaku off guard and slice his head off, while you come out as backup because Kenjaku can’t seem to let go of life and will probably leave with a fight. Thus you stride out calmly since you completely trust Okkotsu to execute his fatal move.

And while you’re moving out, you see Kenjaku shut up and suddenly grow stiff and baffled as a realization seems to hit him as almost out of nowhere Okkotsu appears behind him.

“Curse technique reversal antigravity—” Kenjaku announces, making you transfer your cursed energy to the ground to rip chunks of the earth to get over to them and quickly rebuttal Kenjaku, but, luckily Okkotsu uses his advantage and quickly swings his katana to slice Kenjaku’s head off, letting you drop the pieces of earth and…gasp out of a sudden flash of horror.

You see Suguru’s dark eyes deep with complexity, his terrified expression painted over his face and you see your husband for a second. A second! But it’s enough to fool your mind into thinking it was him who was killed.

Realization thankfully hits you when you hear the head flop on the ground, but your heart is still trying to calm down from that freight that ramped up its speed.

“Was that your plan,” you hear Kenjaku interject in that deeper voice he could never mold into Suguru’s soft and soothing tone, not even because he’s in Suguru’s body.

“…from the beginning?”

You slowly step out of the cold shadows of the forest and feel a sly smirk flicker on your cold expression.

“Takaba doesn’t kill people,” Okkotsu says with no rise of stress in his tone, unlike in your interactions, he shows no awkwardness, no nervousness, he’s laser-focused and wearing an Icy look.

“Makes sense,” Kenjaku replies nonchalantly before he freaks you out as he snaps his gaze down to find you. “Didn’t I kill you?” He asks.

You shoot him a smug smile and shrug just as smugly. “What can I say? You should’ve gone for the head.”

He scoffs and his lips form into a deep discontent frown. “It's a shame to bow out before I finish…but my will will be passed on!” He sneers with eyes peeling back before suddenly a loud kadump shakes the ground, setting off every alarm in your mind.

Is he about to lose control?

“Rika!” Okkotsu bellows out for the cursed spirit attached to him before his eyes snap to you. “Get Kenjaku, Rika and I can handle what’s about to come!”

Neither of you have to see what’s about to unfold to know it’s not anything good, you feel it on your skin as all the hairs on your arms and on the back of your neck shoot up as your instincts sense danger before it all, every single curse Suguru had left, and every curse Kenjaku collected comes busting out of a portal.

The multiple and massive bodies block your eyesight as they surround you, causing you to lose sight of Kenjaku’s head.

“Okkotsu can you handle this?” You shout so you can be heard over the horrifying commotion everywhere around you.

“Yes! Don’t worry!”

You spare one last glimpse at Okkotsu and see that he hasn’t faltered, so you manipulate the wind with your technique and shoot up into the sky like a torpedo. And there, over the disaster in the forest beneath you, flying away is a curse carrying Kenjaku’s head.

“I killed you once, what's the point of sending you again?!” Kenjaku makes sure his voice is carried out as he gets flown toward the bridge over the water. “I can just kill you again.”

You curl your lips to a snarl and try to manipulate the wind to fly directly at him, but curses fly up in his defense and once again block sight of him.

But, it’s not like these curses are an obstacle, you’re outside, this is your territory!

“Let’s have some fun!” You cry out excitedly and shoot your arms out as you stay where you are.

The wind takes no time to gain momentum as you violently spin it around you at rapid speeds, tearing old trees off the ground, and mixing rocks in the tornado forming around you. The curses don’t have any grasp of incoming danger so they all still barrel towards you without a second of hesitation, which makes for easy work. How magnificent!

You beam at the curses with malicious joy and gently bring your arms back to send the tornado out towards the curses, feeling the high and icy winds blow past you but not harm you whatsoever. All you are is an ominous figure in the destruction with a wicked smile playing on your face

The curses finally sense danger and try to avoid being caught, but the tornado pulls them all into its spinning void and exorcizes them with ease with the sharp and deadly winds, leaving a clear sight of Kenjaku over the bridge but not an opening. There’s more curses below, and some out of the a hundred below spot you and make you their target.

So you use the tornado in your control and have it touch ground to wipe away the curses that came after you. You also end up clearing a path with the tornado and get rid of all the curses in its destructive path until it reaches the edge of the bridge.

There’s more curses, hundreds more all huddled up creating a dark cloud of curses on the bridge, but now that you aided Okkotsu by clearing the forest of curses, he can handle the ones on the bridge while you focus on Kenjaku who is still being carried away like some wimpy coward.

You won’t let him get away though, he won’t escape this time, nor will he get the jump on you again. Today you will recover Suguru’s body, today you will see through the revenge promise you made to Choso. Kenjaku won’t live past today. So as he keeps getting further away, you fly forward and once you get close you let your voice boom out so he can hear.

“Scared Kenjaku? You should be.” You smirk, and Kenjaku snickers.

“Scared? Of you? Please,” he brushes you off as his head gets creepily turned around by his hair so he could meet your gaze. “Do you want to know something, Gojo?!”

You draw in a deep breath and sigh. “I’ll bite!”

Yet before he can answer he has some of the curses on the bridge change directions and aim toward you rather than Okkotsu seeming to easily wipe them out with the help of Rika. But don’t the curses after you know how foolish they are? You’re near water, an element you reign over. Kenjaku knew that, he knows far too many things he shouldn’t, but then again he's using the curses as a distraction to make distance between him and you.

“Let’s show them something tremendously beautiful, hm?” You direct at your worm cursed spirit, and then tilt your head down to pierce your mischievous glare into the curses flying up to try and reach you before you point your palms at the water and play.

You raise the water several feet into the sky, causing Okkotsu’s attention to be stolen by the impressive wall of water rising in front of him, casting a large shadow over him and his surroundings that makes an icy chill rush over him.

The wall of water then folds down at your will and like an angry storm-powered wave blasts through all the curses that were coming after you and those too stupid not to move, while also cracking the bridge in half with the mere power of the water alone.

Now there’s a few curses left, but Okkotsu handles them, while you finally fly over the bridge and land on the ground just a few feet away from where Kenjaku’s curse is propped.

“Kogane,” Kenjaku says with his piercing eyes meeting yours. “Add a rule.”

Kogane sounds familiar, but you don’t—no you can’t figure out where you heard it from because you’re caught by surprise by Kenjaku’s rule. “Transfer the authority to begin the great merger between Tengen and Humanity to Megumi Fushiguro.”

Your eyes widen and you reach back to grab a blade imbued with cursed energy from the Worm's mouth.

“Roger that!” A creature with wings confirms after popping out of nowhere. “Rule 15: authority to begin the great merger between Tengen and Humanity has been transferred to Megumi Fushiguro.”

Oh, you get it now, this little creature is the one in charge of the rules from the Culling Games.

“One at least needs some insurance,” Kenjaku finally directs at you, making you step forward with growing horror over the fact that it won’t actually be Fushiguro in charge of the merger, but the one using his body; Sukuna.

“I’ve already had Sukuna undergo the succession ritual,” Kenjaku shares with that usual cocky arrogance he always carries—“what remains is simply his becoming the parent of the ritual via the culling games.”

You blink repeatedly in disbelief and then suddenly feel your breath catch in your throat when you see Tengen appear in the womb the curse carrying Kenjaku has.

You thought nothing of it seconds ago but that was because you didn’t realize it carried Tengen.

“Tengen!” You call out even if you know they won’t hear you, it’s a desperate call before Tengen is blasted away to the grasp of a greater evil.

“Oh please don’t act like you care about the human species,” Kenjaku picks on your baffled reaction. “Thanks to Suguru’s memories I know you more than I care to. You detest non-sorcerers, so think of this as…your dream come true.”

You clench your hand around the blade's handle and narrow your gaze to shoot your seething glare at him. “I care about humanity, you stupid arrogant fool. I am a part of humanity. Just because I don’t care about one part of humanity doesn’t mean I want life as I know it to go extinct out of some sick curiosity!”

“Hm,” he simply hums before his creepy curse crawls down, making you step back out of a fear reaction. “But don’t you see it?” He says with a glee that creeps you out. “Peace you’ve craved for so long? Where the weak don’t exist and the strong like you reign? Where your daughter, your family, and your people can live without fear of getting killed by nasty curses?”

You sneer at the sound of him speaking of your daughter and lift your blade an inch.

“All you’ve ever wanted is there just out of reach,” he coaxes you in a gentle and almost alluring way while the curse brings him closer, but not too close. “You can almost taste everything you and Geto dreamed of.”

You raise your blade a bit further but stay glued to your spot whilst your eyes follow his hovering head. “Whatever you’re trying to get at, drop it,” you sneer. “I’m going to kill you.”

He shares a dry chuckle and stops before you. “You and me are different sides of the same coin. We both crave power and a craving to prove our strength.”

You lean towards him and shake your head as you look at him disgusted that he dared to compare you to him. “No. We’re not the same. I value my life, it’s beautiful because I’ll only live it once. I love and you're not capable of it. I value my family and you use them. I have a soul and you obviously don’t,” you spat, “we’re nothing alike.”

His face doesn’t drop his arrogance or that cockiness. Not even in death.

“Hm, you may be right. You truly are quite fascinating,” he speaks low as he leans towards your ear. “It’s why I know that it can all be yours, darling. If all else fails be, The One Fallen from Grace, be Death.”

You blink in surprise and clench your jaw. Kenjaku backs away and his eyes drift over your shoulder.

“I won’t say I’ve had a thousand years worth of fun, but,” he says. “I’m glad the one I got to play with at my end was him.”

You peer back and see Okkotsu finally has joined you dragging Takaba along on the ground and another body you don’t take a chance to identify because you focus back on Kenjaku.

“Now it’s up to you guys. I’m sure it’ll be fun.”

No more prusiading, no more talking, no more running away, it all ends here. He ends here.

A breath escapes past your lips, and then with your jaw clenched and your glare gleaming with forming tears, you grab the blade with both hands, and bring the blade up to thrust it right through Kenjaku’s head and all the way until the point comes out the other end just so he doesn’t pull some trick out of nowhere and live somehow.

You won’t let him live past today. He won’t live past today…

But you still make sure he's dead by waiting for any sign of life. You can’t miss a single detail that could lead to his escape.

You wait, and wait for what feels like hours (but it’s only a few minutes) until finally the blade slips out of your hand as his head flops on the ground when Okkotsu exorcizes the curse that held up Kenjaku’s head.

He’s dead. That parasite of a person is dead…

Suguru…you can rest now…

Suguru…

You slowly drop to your knees and grab the blade to pull it out of his head. Not Kenjaku’s, but Suguru’s. The stitches are still on his forehead, but now that no life brightens his eyes, all you see is the man you loved, the man that was stolen from you, your husband and best friend, Suguru Geto.

“Ms,” Yuta whispers cautiously behind you.

You know you have to go, but just one minute…

“Hm?” You probe and look back, catching him walking toward you with the other part of Suguru’s body.

“I thought you’d want it,” Okkotsu says softly.

Your bottom lip trembles and your eyesight clouds with tears, but you still manage a thankful nod in your numbed state.

Okkotsu then places the body under the head, and before he can step away to give you space you connect the pieces together and look at the body in awe.

There’s still stitches on his forehead, but you ignore them and only see Suguru returned to you.

“I’ll do it this time,” you murmur to his cheek as you lean down. “I’ll put you to rest. Close to home, where our daughter can visit. Where I can visit. I’ll put you, Kiyoshi, and the twins together. Okay?”

There’s no response, just a deafening silence that brings more tears down your face.

“I miss you,” your voice quivers. “But I bet you and…my…you and him are together now, so you’ll be plenty distracted…” you trail off and can’t go on anymore, you can’t muster another word, and your shattered heart aches too much, but you don’t want to break down now, Choso is not here to calm you down.

So after a shaky breath, you press a kiss on his cheek and then press your forehead on his shoulder as you feel a wave of sorrow incoming ready to bring you down.

“Don’t cry,” you hear a familiar voice. A soothing one that’s not forced and sounds so real. “…FireFly.”

Suguru?

You snap your head up and look ahead at the forest where the voice comes from and see him, a mirage, but it’s still him offering you his sweet and charming smile.

“I love you,” he says and brings a wobbly smile to your lips. “I’ll always look out after you and Satori. Always.”

You drop your head and let out a trembling sob before you repeat his words, “always.”

——

*LATER*

You to Choso: I’m back. I’m okay, are you? Answer when you can. I'll be there shortly.

Your name is called out before you can watch your phone's screen for the three little bouncing dots that show that he’s responding. And when you look over you notice Shoko walking over to you.

“Ijichi mentioned you came in. Why didn’t you go get me?” She asks.

You turn around to face her and see a faint smile painted on her features as she sees no blood stained on your white hair or clothes. When she doesn’t see any visible wounds she strides over and immediately envelopes you in an embrace without caring that the worm is still attached around your shoulders.

You’re a bit stunned at the feeling of her embrace, but when you feel a comforting weight clinging onto you, you let out a shaky breath and hug her tightly.

“Mei-Mei is not surveilling that far, I was worried,” she shares between a soft breath.

You pull back and face her so she can see once again that you’re okay.

Honestly, that was an easy fight, the worst one is yet to come.

“I’m okay, the plan worked,” you assure her and rub her shoulders. “I…brought Suguru’s body back. I wanted to leave it here for now.”

Shoko stills for a moment at the sound of your words before she nods gently. “Yeah, okay, just place him on a table. I’ll keep his body cool.”

You sigh deeply and know that putting his body down isn’t what will crush you. You had a moment with him already so you’ll be fine. Quiet but fine. It’s someone else's body that you’re afraid of seeing, but want to see at the same time.

“I’m sorry for the way it was transported, it was the easiest way to carry him all the way over here,” you excuse your actions before you walk to a metal table and look at your worm to give him a knowing look he understands.

Shoko walks over and reaches for a cigarette in her coat's pocket, but you then catch her eyes snap to you as she realizes your condition and pats her pocket before digging her hands in her other pocket. The worm then opens his mouth and you help him by pulling out the body before letting it fall on the table with a loud thud since it is very heavy flesh and muscle.

“Again,” you mutter with pursed lips. “Sorry.”

You glance at all the drool soaked on Suguru’s body and pass Shoko an awkward tightlipped smile before you look down and take out the head.

“Now we’re all back,” you mention a conversation you had a month ago.

Albeit now another one of you is also gone, and that’s a fact that’s too hurtful to think about so you try and brush it off by combing Suguru’s hair with your fingers before gently placing his head down.

“I could remove the stitches and close the wound,” Shoko says to not focus too deeply on the fact that her dead friend's head is on the table, it’s a sorrow that neither you can afford to get lost in just yet.

“Could you?” You ask hopefully as you caress Suguru’s head. “I want Satori to give her dad a last goodbye, and I don’t want those horrible stitches on his head.”

Shoko nods and can’t help herself, she pulls out a cigarette and places it in between her lips. She doesn’t light it for your sake, but she keeps it there as a form of comfort.

“Oh, and could you remove the stitches now? I want to show Choso his father's brain.” You say even if it sounds wrong saying that sentence.

“That’s so weird,” she says what you’re thinking. “But yeah. Afterward, I want to check on your twins. I can’t do much, but perhaps now we can hear a heartbeat. I just want to check if they sound good before you go. Choso would strangle me if I let you leave without getting checked out first.”

You chuckle breathlessly and nod. “Alright.”

Shoko walks off to get something, and you know you won’t be able to watch her take off the stitches and pull his head apart, so you instead walk away and attempt to leave the room, but before you can you come to a sudden stop when you catch Satoru’s shoes sticking out of a thick cover.

There’s no mistake that it’s anyone else, in your grief-battered mind the memory of his shoes sticks out like a sore thumb. Which is a cruel thing for your mind to do. Can’t it see your hearts already bleeding? Can’t it sense its agony?

Why does it take you to him without letting you question it first? Does it want to torture your withered soul? Or does your mind need confirmation of what the rest of you already knows?

You don’t know, your mind is silent and only occupied with one thought? Is he okay?

You mindlessly grab the edge of the cover that’s over his head and slowly pull it back. When his face is uncovered your mind quickly tells your hand to drop it and you freeze as you get stunned by what you see.

It feels like you got stabbed in your heart again. You feel that same stillness paralyzes your body, you feel that same pain terrorize you. This time though it’s worse. This pain is a lot more agonizing.

As your eyes focus on your brother's white eyelashes kissing his skin, when you take note of the fact that his chest lies still, and when you feel that not even a staggered breath escapes his nose, you feel a blinding pain puncture you and it pollutes every corner of your body, and finally hits your stubborn mind.

You try to think of any excuse, any workaround to deny what you see, but the realization is like shockwaves, bothersome, and unable to let you forget. Yet there’s an even sadder truth that lies beneath all that pain, and it’s a realization that you know who you’ll be now that he’s gone. You once feared not knowing who you’d be without him because he’s all you had, but now…now you lie underneath the rubble, just waiting to be pulled out, and those you cherish are present in your mind.

And you know he’d remind you of that. He wouldn’t let you forget nor would he want you to feel alone and lost, he’d remind you of who you were surrounded by, that you didn’t really need him in the grand scheme of things. He’d remind you of who you are and who you’ve always been, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that you’ll miss your older brother, that there will never be a day that goes by where you don’t mourn the first man who loved you and who always kept you in his heart.

There will never be a day where you won’t wish that he’ll be by your side because why did he have to leave? Why did he have to die and leave you here?

Why? Why?!

You clutch onto his shoulders and sob into his chest.

“Please,” you begin to plead. “Please come back. You said you’d always protect me. You promised me. Why are you gone, Satoru?”

Your legs lose all their strength and threaten to knock you to the ground, but before you can hit the ground, arms wrap under your arms and pull you up. You don’t get to look back before Shoko whispers your name and follows with soft words.

“Come on, honey, let’s get outside, okay? All this distress is not good for you and your babies.”

You shake your head and want to stay by your brother's side, but her words do register so you let her guide you out of the room, but fall with her out in the hall.

“Shoko,” you mewl.

Said woman caresses the side of your head and with tears of her own she tells you she understands your pain. “I know. I know.”

Her hand then slips from your head, and her arm slips around your waist so she can pull you to her side and press your head on her shoulder. Neither of you have the willpower to say anything after, you sit in silence with your backs to the door, and find comfort in each other's warmth.

You would want to sit here for hours just to try and process everything, but you can’t afford that luxury, people need you, so you lift your head off her shoulder before you stay attached to her, and push yourself up.

“I got your father-in-law's brain,” Shoko tries to lighten up your mood.

And it didn’t work to make you smile, but your nose wrinkles in disgust. “Ew please don’t refer to him as that,” you remark.

Shoko turns and as you lose sight of her in the room you hear her voice in the distance. “It’s true.”

“Ew,” you grumble and look down at your worm to mirror the disgust on your faces.

However, speaking about your father-in-law, you remember his eldest son and check your phone to see if he answered, but it’s still left on delivered. Choso hasn't read your message.

Is he okay?

You should check the broadcast—but if he’s not okay you’ll fall into more distress so you’ll text him first.

You to Choso: Cho? Call me if you can, please. Just let me know you’re okay.

You wait now and watch for the three dots again. But alas, once again Shoko comes to meet up with you.

“Here it is in all its glory.” She interjects with a hint of disgust as she holds a jar with Kenjaku’s blood-covered brain. “I was hoping I could keep it safe here though.” She then suggests as if she doesn’t know what it means to take it back to Choso.

She clocks your confusion and need to argue right away and quickly explains herself. “You’re going out on the battlefield, it would be a shame if something happened to it before Choso could burn it whatever he plans to do, don’t you think?”

She does make sense, but you want to give it to Choso like you promised.

“I’ll keep it safe,” she insists and slowly finds a way to ease your overthinking mind. “Swear.”

Well…she’s right, it would be a shame to have it destroyed before Choso could burn it or bury it or whatever he intends to do with his father's brain. Besides you trust her too so you let her keep Kenjaku’s brain reluctantly.

“Fine,” huff and step back. “Just let me take a picture of it.”

You pull your phone out and snatch a quick photo of the brain in the jar to show it to Choso as a sign that you kept your promise to him. After that Shoko quickly averts her gaze and walks away to put the brain in the jar away.

After Shoko’s quick return, she quickly insists on moving on from the queasy situation. “Now can we please move on?”

Your eyebrows raise and you nod eagerly. “Yes, please! I want to check on Choso. He hasn’t texted me back and he’s not one to take long to respond…” you trail off and look at her quizzical look to question her. “Do you know how he is? I mean have you seen him on the screens?”

Shoko tilts her head down to hold her dry cigarette stick and nods softly. “Yeah, he was helping against Sukuna. But that was a while ago, I got busy after that sorry.”

Well, that doesn’t work to reassure your worry whatsoever.

You’ll need to get through the checkup quicker than you’d like, Choso might need your help, or the others might need assistance.

Albeit there’s a part of you that doesn’t want Shoko to check on the babies. Not because you dread it, but because they’re still so small, and if she doesn’t hear anything you’ll think the worst right now considering all the distress you’ve been under.

However, there would’ve been signs if something bad happened, there hasn’t been any to your knowledge.

“Do you want to know what names Choso and I already chose,” you tell Shoko so you don’t keep focusing on the negative.

Shoko opens the door to a separate room and as you pass her to walk in she of course doesn’t turn you down. “Please do.”

You smile brightly and rub your belly. “Well I want a boy and a girl, so we chose based on that.” You share with your glee slowly heightening as you get excited. “For the girl, Choso chose Suki, which means beloved. And for the boy I chose Tsukuyomi, after the god of the moon. I wanted Orlando, but Choso vetoed it, can you believe that?” You pout.

Shoko scoffs and mumbles something under her breath as she taps on the chair for you to sit on. You pierce your glare into her and don’t leave yourself wondering what she had to say, you press her. “What? What did you just say?”

Shoko grabs a white device from her bag and when she turns around she doesn’t shy away from repeating herself. “It’s a stupid name.”

You gasp and touch your chest to pretend to be wounded by her insult to your beloved's name. “You’re a stupid name. I’m being so serious.”

Shoko sits on her chair and rolls herself to you. “Oh, I know you are. I’m glad Choso had some common sense, remind me to praise him for that.”

You pout. “Are you guys just jealous because he was my first love?” You tease her with the same thing you told Choso. “It’s okay if it’s any reassurance, I would hesitate leaving my life behind to marry Orlando Bloom. Before, nothing was going to stop me, now I’ve changed, okay?”

Shoko rolls her eyes and brings up her device that you don’t recognize. “What is that?” You probe and guard your belly.

Shoko turns on the device and pulls it up to show it off. “It's a fetal doppler to hear the baby’s heartbeat. I bought it recently to check on you.”

You drop your hand and can’t help your heart from skipping a beat at the thought of Shoko being so considerate and worried for your twin's well-being.

“Okay, now I won’t have you undress due to our circumstances, but I will ask you to lift your obi belt for me please.”

Your previous lightheartedness drops to zero, and all you’re filled with is worry that makes you swallow back nervously as you drag up the obi belt to give Shoko easy access.

“And I must warn you,” Shoko cuts in as she’s in the middle of leaning in. “If we don’t hear anything It’s because they’re too young to be detected by this device. Don’t worry, okay? You’re not showing any signs of concern, so I’m sure you’re okay.”

As far as doctors go she’s the first one to ever make you feel reassured by her attempts at comfort. The others you’ve seen speak with a feigned softness that oozes their artificiality

Maybe it's because she’s your best friend and the others have been strangers you have to see, but nothing in the way she sits, looks at you, or speaks gives any sense of doubt.

Then again she’s always sounded kind to you. Even when you first met her voice had a way to make you feel quite safe and reassured.

“Okay, I’m going to press this on you, okay? And you might feel a bit of pressure since I have to press deep to hear through your clothes, okay?” She speaks a lot softer and kinder, it almost sounds like she’s hypnotizing you.

“Okay,” you talk under your breath, and she only hears you because she's so close to you that her knees are touching yours.

And as she gets her wand close to your belly you hold your breath, and when presses her wand on you and presses hard to feel through the clothes and layers of skin and flesh, you stiffen and close your eyes out of your racing nerves attacking you.

“Come on now little Suki and Tsukuyomi, let me just hear you so your mama and your dad can have something positive to hold onto for today.”

You smile at her speaking to the twins, but it looks all wobbly and more like you’re about to cry.

Shoko notices your reaction and places the machine down to grab your hand and offer you a smile before she lowers the wand closer to your waistline and presses just a bit harder, making the sound of silence get interrupted by the sweet rhythmic music of two little ba-dums running quickly.

“Oh,” Shoko muses and drops your hand to grab the machine and watch the screen. While you drop that tension held on your shoulders, breathe out shakily, and feel the clutches of your sorrow let go of your bleeding heart to let you mend your broken heart with the bliss of the twins signs of life. The first signs that they’re viable.

“That’s them?” You muse breathlessly and watch Shoko move her wand to focus on the second baby.

“Yes!” Shoko exclaims happily and turns the machine around to show you numbers on the screen you don’t quite understand. “From what I read their heart rates are good. Strong. You have some strong babies.” She beams at you and turns her head to just take a moment to listen, letting you pull your phone out to record the session for Choso. You don’t want him to miss the first time you hear their heartbeats; he’d be crushed.

And yes it’s not the same as being here in the same room, but due to your circumstances, you weren’t granted the pleasure of being together for this special moment. He should understand that, and hopefully, he'll have a greater opportunity of being with you when you see the twins for the first time. If something comes up then, then you’ll wait for him to be with you.

“So tell me one more time,” you interject just to double check for you, and so Choso can hear when he listens to the video. “Their heartbeats sound strong? Healthy?”

Shoko meets your gaze and nods. “Yes,” she reassures you. “They’re strong for how small they are. Don’t worry.”

You sigh with relief and smile down at your belly as you relish in the sound of the music of their hearts, forgetting for a moment what chaos awaits you outside and what agonizing sorrow is waiting to dig itself back in you; you can feel it’s sharp claws trying to claw itself back in to keep hurting you in the worst way imaginable.

You almost just want to fight it off and drown yourself in the sound of your twin's heartbeats since it brings you so much bliss, but once again you have to remind yourself that people need you. They need your strength to fight off the demon monster that goes by the name Sukuna.

Thus, after a few long minutes, you stop recording and meet Shoko’s gaze to speechlessly let her know that it’s okay to stop listening in.

However, she’s the one who hesitates, seeming to want to get lost in the sound of something miraculous instead of having to endure more pain, but she pulls herself away and turns off the device, bringing an end to your bliss and welcoming back your sorrow and grief.

“Before you leave,” Shoko fills the silence and utters your name almost hesitantly before she drags her chair back to able to hold your gaze—“can I share something with you about Suguru? Is that okay? Or is it weird?”

No matter how deeply in love you are with someone else, talking about Suguru will never be a weird topic or something you avoid. You’ll limit yourself out of respect for Choso, but you’ll never hide away from talking about your first love,

“No, it's not weird,” you assure your friend. “Go ahead.”

You let your obi belt fall back in place and slouch to wait.

“It’s about something he told me 11 years ago. The day I ran into him for the first time after what he did,” Shoko explains and then exhales deeply, causing her eyes to soften with a hint of sympathy as if the wounds of his passing are still new and fresh.

“It’s not specific, but he said to tell you that he knew the answer to your question. It was “yes, I would want nothing else.”

You blink in confusion and press your mind hard so it can remember what he was referring to because it does sound familiar.

“I’ve been meaning to tell you but with everything going on I never had time, and when you brought him in I remembered. Sorry,” she backs up her comment with guilt.

“No,” you counter back right away so she knows you don’t actually blame her for anything. “I understand, but he didn't say anything else?”

Her eyes suddenly widen and she rummages through her pocket before pulling out a folded paper that looks quite old.

“This,” she blurts and hands it to you. “He gave me this to give to you. I brought it with me today since I knew you’d bring him back.”

You look at her curiously before you drop your eyes to the paper and quickly unfold it. When you spread the paper out your breath hitches when you see that it’s your favorite poem, “The Passionate Shepherd to His Love.”.

He wanted you to have it. He remembered. Which isn’t surprising, but…after all these years your heart can’t help but swoon, and help you remember what he was referring to.

“We hadn’t been dating long,” you tell Shoko so she wasn't left wondering. “As you know. But I knew it in my heart that I wanted forever with him, especially when we got back together, so,” you pause and smile softly at the poem in your hands. “I asked him if he wanted forever with me. If he could wait for me to come back from training with Yuki, and he never got to answer because we got interrupted…” you trail off and instead of crying you manage to keep your eyes dry and just smile with glee as you feel wrapped up by his love once again.

Even if he’s gone, you feel his loving embrace, and you smile at that.

“Thank you Shoko,” you whisper and finally get off the chair.

Your friend mirrors you and watches you carefully as you tuck away your poem as if expecting you to burst out in tears.

“I need to go find Choso now,” you cut your conversation there before you can keep lingering here with her.

“Are you okay?” She makes sure to ask while you walk away.

You peer back at her and nod. “Yes,” you tell her with no sign of deceit. “I’m okay about the Suguru thing. I mourned him earlier, and I cried, I’m okay. Thank you. Now,” you change the subject. “I’ll text you if anything happens okay? And if you need any help text me or ask Kirara, understand?”

“Well considering I’m not a child, yes,” she quips, making you smirk and stop for a brief moment to solidify a previous promise.

“I’ll be back, okay?”

Shoko draws in a deep breath and you watch her eyes gleam with tears clouding her eyes. “You better,” she mutters.

You offer her one last smile and head out.

And before you know it, after rushing to find Choso first and foremost, you spot him from afar; his buns that don’t actually work to keep his hair down, his purple vest that matches his scarf, and his white robe that's stained with…blood. A lot of blood.

Choso is on the ground hunched over, but you notice the blood from where you stopped and suddenly everything goes dark and time comes to a sudden halt. Nothing else exists but him, there. Nothing else matters to you but him bleeding out from wounds you can’t see from here or by the way he’s sitting, you can’t even tell if he’s breathing. He’s too far and he’s not moving.

He’s not moving…

No…please…no…

“Choso?!” You can’t wait, you have to cry out for him. “Choso?!”

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.

.

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Tagged- @deniseabad1928 @secondary-character-25 @starlightanyaaa @notsaelty @d4rno @moonnime @kodzukein @yozora7154 @heijihattorisgf @elegantweirdorchest @natakina

[ash5monster01]

Goes On Chapter Twelve

Pairing: Charlie Dalton x OC!FemReader

Warnings: 18+, depression, mentions of suicide, heavy topics, eventual smut, slow burn romance, fluff, gender themes/stereotypes.

Summary: Against his best efforts Charlie has to start at a new preparatory school after the tragic events that took place at Welton. The very events that led to the loss of his best friend and getting expelled in the first place. He has no plans to make friends let alone get close to anyone ever again. That is until he meets Evelyn and her interesting group of friends. No matter how hard he tries to push them away he finds it to be impossible. So he caves and in the end learns that life can still be enjoyable even if it feels like everyone is against you.

word count: 2.9k

Eleven ←→ Thirteen

Masterlist

Ridge Academy, NY

3/26/60

Dating in a private school could be difficult. Evelyn had listened to Violet complain about it for years but until now she hadn’t realized how true it was. It had been a month of dating Charlie and every day people still gave her a hard time and she felt like neither of them had any privacy. Even the dates at the cafe on campus didn’t feel real due to so many peering eyes. It was like animals in a zoo and Evelyn was tired of it. Especially since she still felt like she was getting to know Charlie. There was still so much there he hadn’t given her access too and she partly blamed it on this damn school.

So she had been grumpy. Which wasn’t usual for the girl but she was just annoyed. Sick and tired of waiting for the world to finally let her have and enjoy something for once. She finally found someone she enjoyed being with and liked, so why the hell couldn’t the universe provide her with a break? Allow her a chance to date her first boyfriend like every girl should. Not with the overlooking eyes but with an innocence that comes with experiencing all the things you hadn’t before.

“If you’re not careful your face’ll get stuck like that” Charlie muttered, leaning toward her on the couch and rubbing a thumb over the crease between her brows. Evelyn’s face instantly softened, heart yearning for the boy beside her.

“I’m sorry” she told him, legs shifting in his lap. The library had become a sort of safe haven for the two, cradling their budding love between the stacks of hundreds of books. At first Evelyn thought it was romantic but now she just felt annoyed that this was the only place she felt any privacy with the boy beside her.

“Don’t be, what’s on your mind?” the chestnut haired boy asks and Evelyn sighs, head leaning back against the couch.

“I just wish we could be alone” she tells him and Charlie chuckles, eyes glancing around the semi empty space around them.

“We are alone” he says and she groans, head shaking against the back of the cushions, brunette tresses falling in all directions.

“No I mean alone away from this school. I feel like everywhere we go there is someone we know. Relationships shouldn’t be so monitored” Evelyn counters and Charlie gives a understanding look because he knows exactly what she means. Even now there is a librarian twenty feet away and if he sneaks into her room at night it’s only bound to be interrupted by Violet or her be there the entire time. When he had wanted girls to attend Welton he had never considered the watchful eye factor, people like Nolan and Mr. McAllister watching your every move. He could see himself now sneaking his girl out to the old Indian Cave just to get some alone time, and then it hit him.

"What if we just left campus" he says and a shocked look paints Evelyn's face quickly.

"We can't, not without written permission from a parent and I don’t know about your parents but mine would definitely not sign off on me running around with a boy" she defends quickly and Charlie laughs, pulling her closer and hoping the librarian doesn't look up to bust them both.

"I didn't say anything about asking for permission" he grins, mischief sparkling in his eyes and the gears finally start turning in her head. It wouldn't be impossible. A few right moves and they both could be off and into the night, returning in the mask of the dark, and no one would know a thing.

"Okay, let's do it" she agrees quickly and he smiles wide, squeezing her as he presses a soft kiss to the side of her head.

"What do you say about 7:30, meet past the gate and behind the tree line?" and the nerves start to bubble in Evelyn's stomach but she smiles and agrees anyway.

"Perfect, but now I have to get ready!" and before Charlie could protest, Evelyn was up and out of her seat, scurrying in the direction of the dorms so she could get dressed for her first very real date. Sighing he leans back into the couch, a smile on his face from how much he adored her. Only once in a while did he feel despair about getting so close when he had promised himself not to. Those were only during the dark moments though, the moments where he couldn't stop his mind from thinking about how much he would miss her if she suddenly went away and then those thoughts would bring him right back to Neil. He wished he had appreciated him more when he was here. With this thoughts now swirling in his head he did the one thing that always made him feel better.

"Yeah, hi. I'm calling for Todd Anderson" Charlie said once the phone line picked up and whatever twelve year old blazer boy answered was off in search of his meek friend that could be the only one to calm him down during this time.

"Hello" Todd said after a few moments, voice coming out staticky from the phone and hundred miles inbetween them.

"Hey Todd, it's Charlie" he responded quickly, trying to keep his voice even as he tried to get the panic and sadness to go away.

"Hey Charlie, what’s going on? It's not Wednesday" Todd said, confusion laced in his voice and Charlie chuckled, a little sad because he could picture exactly what the boys face looked like right now. The overbearing weight of wanting to be back at Welton swallowing him whole. How torn the world must be if he still wished he was back at that dreaded school.

"I know, it's just- I have a date tonight" Charlie spoke softly and Todd grinned wide on the other end. The image of his overcondienct and cocky friend coming to mind. The one he knew, not knowing the new person he had become.

"Hey that's awesome Charlie, is it Evelyn?" Todd questioned, coming to know the girl from how the boy had talked about her. He knew it would only be a matter of time before he couldn’t stop himself from going after her. Todd was starting to get used to always being right.

"Yeah it’s her, it's just-.." and Charlie clamped his mouth shut, suddenly feeling silly for feeling this way. He was Charlie Dalton for Christ sake, he was confident, smart, and a womanizer. Why would he be calling quiet Todd Anderson about it?

"You can tell me Charlie" Todd spoke, finally sensing the discomfort coming from the boy he hadn't seen in person since before Christmas. Charlie took a moment, collecting himself before responding.

“What if I get to close and lose her too?” He whispered, voicing his worries out loud for the very first time. Todd was taken aback, shocked to hear the words that just left his mouth. Then it dawned on him that Neil was Charlie’s best friend, the one guy who had been by his side for the entirety of his days at Welton. Todd had only known Neil four months for him to become important to him, he couldn’t imagine a lifetime. Neil had already been gone more than half the amount of time Todd had known him but for Charlie it was different. For Charlie it was losing the one real person who loved you your entire life.

“Does she know?” Todd asked, curious if Charlie had disclosed the tragic event that had all changed them entirely for the rest of their lives. Yet Charlie’s silence was enough of an answer in itself.

“No one does, well except my room mate. I just didn’t want it to define me” Charlie finally told him, realizing the weight in his chest he has been carrying this whole time over not grieving properly. He had yet to be comforted for the loss of his friend and that had made it hard to get over. Hard to move on.

“You should tell her, it won’t change anything but until you do, can she ever really begin to understand you?” and Charlie remembered exactly why he had called Todd in the first place. He had become his new voice of reason since Neil died and he knew the exact right thing to say.

“I just don’t want her to see me differently” Charlie admitted and Todd wished he was there to give his friend a hug. He remembered not liking Charlie much at first. He thought his outgoing spirit was dangerous and that it put him in a position to be targeted amongst the group. Yet he failed to notice just how loyal the boy was and now he wished that during the time they did spend together he got to know him better.

“You are different Nuwanda. What matters is if you own it” Todd told him and Charlie chuckled lightly, fighting the tears that burned at the back of his eyes.

“I’ll tell her when I’m ready, I promise” he finally said and Todd accepted this answer not wanting to push him too far, so he decided to leave him with just this.

“Just remember you may never be ready” Todd says knowing his own grief had changed him entirely as a man. He was still living out his punishment with Nolan. It was funny how Nolan used to be annoyed with how outspoken he was but the moment he speaks up he gets silenced.

“Thanks Todd, I’ll talk to you later” Charlie smiled, feeling much better than before about this date.

“Good luck” Todd bid him goodbye and then the receiver clicked before indicating the dead line and Todd was gone, leaving Charlie no choice but to get ready and face his fears.

It’s not long until 7:30 hits, Charlie had been hiding in the tree line since 7. Wanting to lessen the chances of both of them getting caught and take the time to prepare himself for a real date. He may have always been cool with the women but he had truly never been on a proper date before. Especially with a girl like Evelyn, she deserved to be swept off her feet. He jumps when the sound of a branch snapping fills his ears but he quickly calms when he sees the foot is one with a kitten heel and not loafers that belonged to a teacher ready to bust him.

“That was thrilling” Evelyn whispers despite not needing to. They were far enough away now that no one would be able to hear him. Yet her words don’t register in Charlies head because as his eyes move up from her feet they find leg. Lots and lots of leg until right at her knees he is met with baby blue tulle, the skirt making her look like an angel on a cloud. It gets even better when he meets the sweetheart neckline, strained over her chest and looking so inviting. The silver chain necklace around her neck makes him shiver. Finally his eyes meet her own, just in time to spot the grin she wears from watching him check her out.

“I’m beginning to regret this idea of going out and not staying in now” Charlie says, shifting a little as he prepared to approach her. Evelyn just shook her head and reached for him anyways, not giving him much choice in the matter.

“I already convinced Violet to stay in Marty’s room until at least 3am, so we have time” she whispers before pulling him close and capturing his lips in her own. Charlie hums as she kisses him soft and sweet, agonizingly slow and leaving him wanting more. “Right now I just want my boyfriend to take me on a date”

“Then let’s do it” Charlie smiles at her, stealing one more kiss before lacing his fingers through her own and starting them on the walk.

It takes only a mile before they’re met with the sight of town, one Charlie had only been in a handful of times since coming here. Evelyn takes lead on picking the restaurant considering she had been in Ridge much longer than he ever had. It’s no surprise when she picks the small diner opposed to somewhere nicer. People gave the pair looks walking in all dressed up just for some burgers and shakes but neither of them minded when they finally found a booth. Floor sticky and table greasy, it was perfect for two kids just beginning to fall in love.

“I’ve never been on a real date before?” Evelyn admits, taking the red and white stripe straw between her lips and taking a sip of her chocolate shake. Charlie just smiled, his own strawberry shake in his hand.

“You’re telling me none of those guys in that co-ed school snuck you off campus to take you on proper date?” He teases, voice full of amusement as he looks at her.

“No Charles, they haven’t. Yet that’s the thing about co-ed schools. The boys don’t understand to appreciate it more” she says, thinking about all the boys she grew up with who never learned to be gentlemanly or even nervous in her presence.

“Idiots, I didn’t talk to a girl until I was thirteen” Charlie says with the shake of his head, smiling as the waitress sets down burgers and fries for them both. He grins at the way Evelyn has one fry shoved in her mouth before it even hits the table.

“How come you’re not nervous around girls then?” Evelyn inquires, grabbing some salt to put on her fries and on Charlie’s before setting it down.

“I figured there was never any reason to be. If I wanted to have a fighting chance I couldn’t just gape at a girl like a fish, I had to snag her before some other idiot did” and Evelyn’s laughing loudly at the explanation, other customers looking over and chuckling at the young kids on their night out.

“Well lucky for you no other idiots in that school liked me and I learned to accept that a long time ago” Charlie’s stiffens as the words leave her mouth, thinking of his friend who was probably in their shared dorm wondering where the hell he was. His friend who was the only one to know anything about him here. If only Nate had said something before he had fallen for the girl but now it was far too late.

“Idiots indeed” Charlie agrees before grabbing his burger and taking a large bite. Evelyn just smiles, mimicking his movements and doing the same. When some mustard gets smeared on Charlies cheek she’s quick to giggle and wipe it away.

As the night progresses the conversation continues to flow, laughter and smiles filling the space between them. It’s not long until plates are empty and stomachs are full. At some point Charlie even ends up on Evelyn’s side of the booth, arm wrapped around her as he recalls tales from his Welton days. Evelyn particularly likes the ones about Knox and all the things he did to gain the attention of Chris. Sadly it was getting close to curfew so Charlie threw some cash on the table and led the girl out the booth and back in the dreaded direction of the school, feeling guilty for still not telling her the truth about his past.

“That was much easier than expected” Evelyn says, swinging their interlocked hands between them. Charlie just laughs, eyes glancing down at her in the moonlight.

“It’s not over yet, now we have to sneak back in” Charlie informs her and she just rolls her eyes, leaning closer to him the closer they get to the school.

“I almost don’t want to go back in” she says when the gate comes into view and Charlie glances at his watch, noting there still was just forty minutes until curfew. Before Evelyn can say anything more he has her pressed up against one of the trees and he doesn’t miss the sharp breath she takes in.

“Then let’s not, at least for a little bit” he tells her and before she can agree he has his lips on hers, tipping her head back and against the tree. Evelyn settles into the kiss fairly quickly, hands coming to rest on his chest. Charlie finds his own comfort in the kiss, keeping a hand at her waist and the other on her face, making sure she kept access for him. He loved how she still tasted faintly of chocolate shake and how she relaxed into his arms. He hadn’t kissed many girls in his lifetime but none of them could ever compare.

“That was the best first date” Evelyn mutters when he finally gives her a chance to breath, lips trailing down her neck and to the top of her chest that he could barely keep his eyes off of all night. When his fingers tangle into her necklace he finally begins to pull away.

“Agreed, what do you say we do it again?” and Evelyn giggles as his lips meet her neck again. Smiling she reaches to tangle her fingers in his hair and memorize this moment to keep in her heart forever.

“Anytime Charlie”

Taglist: @octaviasdread @eden-punk @linmichea1 @pursuedbyamemoryy @mynameisjxlia

Comment if you want to be added to the taglist :))

[erxxi3]

Can you do an angst/comfort Leon x reader where Reader is in a depressed state and while going on a walk, she bumps into Leon. They end up having a cute movie night at Leon’s house with cuddles and food?

I need some love from Leon. >~<

YES OFC I CAN!!

I haven’t done angst at all, so this is probably gonna suck ass atleast I tried though that is all that matters.

Anyways the angst part is about the fem! reader loosing her parents bc I couldn’t think of anything else I am very sorry!’ I didn’t know how to end it but I eventually thought of something.

— Restless Comfort

Pairings: ID! Leon x Fem! Reader

Summary: What the request said.

Cw. Angst to Fluff, death of parents, grieving /mourning of death, kissing, age-gap (The reader is like a couple years younger than him), Leon being shy/embarrassed, reader slowly falling in love w Leon, cuddling, waking up ontop of him, and Leon admitting he loves you and you do reciprocate back. :)

Character Count: 19.9k

On a cold September evening, you were walking arms crossed underneath your chest through the park. The sun had disappeared, leaving only a bitter layer of light in the sky behind the clouds. Your breath left small puffs of cloud in front of your face as you walked. It was getting darker now too. The park was empty except for you and the occasional bird that swooped by from time to time.

You sighed deeply as the cold air brushed against your cheeks, as you thought of attending your parents funeral today. They ’d been married nearly three years already, and yet the loss was still raw to you. They had always been so supportive when you needed it, but now you were alone in this world with no one to turn to, nothing to fall back on. Not for the first time, you wished you had someone at home to take care of you, someone who could make sure you took care of yourself.

Shaking your head, looking down at the pond you sat before. You were watching the ducks swim around lazily, their feathers brushing along each other every now and then, creating tiny waves beneath their surface. Your eyes drifted over them as you let out another deep sigh, the sound carrying off across the quiet of the area.

You decided it wouldn’t be best to attend, but you couldn’t bear to let yourself not say any words to them. After all, they were the people you would have to live with now until you found your place in life.

Besides, never getting to tell them how you been holding up these last few months is not an option either, you reasoned with yourself. So, instead, you turned, making your way toward the parking lot, which you bumped into a tall attractive looking man. As he stumbled backward, trying to regain his balance, you saw he also wore sunglasses. You frowned in confusion before he spoke. “Oh geez, I’m sorry ma’am. Are you alright?” He asked politely, reaching out for you, helping steady you.

“I’m fine thank you. I apologize too for bumping into you. I wasn't watching where I was going,” you apologized, giving him an apologetic smile. His gaze flickered meeting your eyes. You felt heat rush to your cheeks, but pushed away from the uncomfortable and embarrassing moment. You cleared your throat before stepping away, you said, “Well…I’ll just get going now. Goodbye…”

Just as you turned to leave, you heard his voice calling after you, “Wait a minute.” Your eyes immediately shot up, and you saw that he was smiling. You didn’t know what to say as the silence stretched between the two of you. “What’s your name?” he asked finally, breaking the silence. Your stomach dropped at the question, and you felt the urge to run.

What the hell do you tell a stranger?

Should you even give him your real name, or just a fake one?

Oh no, this isn’t good at least not at this time.

You opened your mouth to respond to him, but he interrupted before you got the chance, saying quickly, “That’s okay! No need to answer if you don’t want to. I shouldn’t have asked. I’m sorry for bothering you…I…uh…well…” you watched as he scratched the back of his neck nervously, “Never mind,” and turned on his heel, striding back towards his car that was parked some distance from yours. You watched, slightly dumbstruck as he climbed into his expensive looking car.

A couple minutes later and you heard the engine revving loudly and he drove off slowly, disappearing from view. You shook your head, laughing to yourself silently, amused at his strange behavior.

How did he get so flustered all of a sudden anyway?

Was there something about you that made him seem like a total idiot?

Maybe he was just really awkward?

Who knows, maybe you are just being dramatic, you thought, shaking your head again as you began to drive homewards.

The rest of the night flew by uneventfully, and before you knew it, tomorrow morning arrived and your family gathered in the parlor room, ready for their final viewing of your parents. You had cried during the whole ceremony, though you tried desperately to conceal that fact.

After the service, you sat in the living room, talking to some of your closest friends that had came. Jill and Claire were the one’s always there for you even when you were little, but this event that took place was not merely giving you guilt it was more so a grievance that would haunt you for the rest of your life. Your parents were murdered. You lost your mother, and your father. And yet somehow you managed to try and pull yourself together by going to live with Jill & Claire. It was hard for you to believe sometimes how far you'd come since then. But as you stood there next to one of your best friends, Claire told you she invited one of her friends to join them as well.

She had gone out to the lobby fetching him bringing him over to where you were, your eyes began to meet his once again. He seemed just as shocked to see you as you were to see him, but you simply smiled at him warmly. Claire introduced both of you to each other, but you weren’t really listening to them. Your focus was solely on the man you had met earlier, and who hadn’t looked quite as flustered anymore. In fact, he looked almost smug.

His eyes danced with amusement, and suddenly you found yourself unable to take your eyes off him as you continued to smile shyly. Finally, he broke the eye contact, shifting awkwardly, his eyes darting to the ground. You blinked several times wondering if you’d actually seen something pass through his blue eyes, like electricity sparking through the air. When your trance was broken, you tore your gaze away from the man, focusing instead on what Claire was saying.

You nodded absently at her explanation, not even realized what was happening in the conversation until it ended abruptly, Claire having noticed your distraction as well. You turned to look up at the man standing before you with distance once more, feeling a bit sheepish. He must have noticed your glance as he chuckled softly, glancing up briefly, giving you a wink. It was then that you realized that he was gazing at you. Noticing that he was taller than you, much taller than you, with broad shoulders and strong arms. You gulped, taking another quick glance at him, and you felt your body temperature raise.

It took all you had in you not to avert your eyes in his direction, embarrassed by your own reaction. You were supposed to be grieving but you couldn't help the butterflies in your stomach that you felt as he looked at you.

Why do I feel this way?

Why am I falling for a complete stranger that happens to be handsome?

As if sensing your internal turmoil he smirked. He gave you one last lingering look before turning away and whispering something to Claire. She replied to him, giggling. You got up from your seat dusting your skirt off, telling them that you have to take a call and will be back soon, leaving the parlor. Walking to the closest room in the building, it was small, however, could possibly be a dressing room of some sort. Pulling your cell phone from your pocket, you hit speed dial 3 on speed dial, and waited patiently for someone to pick up on the other end.

‘Please pick up, please answer. Don’t hang up, please don’t...’ you kept repeating in your mind, the number didn’t answer. You paced in a circle trying to dual it again, but it was no hope. The door closed behind you, someone coming from behind you grabbing you hand over your mouth, so that you wouldn’t scream as you tried to fight against the person, tears filling your eyes.

They pulled their hand away from your face, letting out a sigh of relief once they saw that it was only you. ‘Thank god…’ you thought relieved, but the person who had grabbed you turned you to look at them. “Didn’t mean to make ya think I was gonna hurt ya..” you heard him mumble. You were still stunned at seeing him again after all you been trying to avoid him, but his apology made you relax. You didn’t trust yourself enough to talk at first as a blush spread across your cheeks. “It’s all right, I forgive you…” you whispered.

He let out a small chuckle before replying, “Good…” he trailed off staring at you intently. Your heart began beating fast as he moved closer to you. You gulped nervously as your breathing increased, “So um…who are you exactly?” You questioned nervously, your fingers rubbing against the fabric of your dress trying to calm your rapidly beating heart. He chuckled lightly before speaking.

“My name is Leon,” he said, “Leon Kennedy…”. At hearing his name you felt like something inside you clicked in understanding, “Oh! You must be Claire’s friend, right?” you asked. “Yeah…that’s me. Nice to meet you.” He responded, a grin plastered across his face. His hands rested lightly on his hips as he leaned down to speak with you, which gave you an unobstructed view of his chest, as well as his eyes. “I never caught your name earlier…I was trying to ask you, but I didn’t want to put pressure on you, you know?” he explained. You chuckled nervously, feeling your cheeks begin to flush red once more. “I see…my name is Y/N….”

.

“Nice to meet you once again.” he remarked. “What are you doing here anyways? I thought Claire told you it was my parents funeral before she invited you..” He could hear the worry break in your voice at the mention of Claire’s words. He sighed inwardly. “Yeah…I know, Claire mentioned something about that earlier.” He paused, “I guess I should have known that you’d be attending it, since it’s your parents….” He spoke softly, placing his hands around you bringing you into him for a hug. You froze up in his arms, unsure of what you were supposed to do.

For some reason, you felt safe in his arms, like you belonged there. You breathed a sigh of relief as you held onto him for what seemed like forever, enjoying his security.“I…I-“ You said hesitantly wrapped your arms around his middle hugging tightly to him, while letting your tears just come pouring down the sides of your cheeks.

You were grateful that he did not push you away, and you were content that he did not leave keeping you in comfort due to the loss.

Eventually, he gently eased you apart from him, looking straight into your eyes, wiping the remaining traces of your tears from your cheeks. “Better?” he asked. You sniffed nodding your head, “Yeah…thanks…” You said softly, he wiped a few stray tears from under your eyes, leaving you to feeling embarrassed.

There was silence between the two of you. He seemed hesitant to say anything else, but he finally decided to take matters into his own hands. “You know… I haven’t gotten the chance to thank you properly for inviting me to come here…” he said moving to stand directly in front of you.

You looked into his eyes, trying desperately to memorize every feature of his face, “Yea..” you murmured, as the corners of his lips upturned into a slight smirk. He placed one of his hands on your cheek pulling you close towards him, making you gulp nervously, his thumb softly stroking your cheekbone. “I’m sorry I didn’t get to meet you sooner…” he said softly, his eyes searching yours.

You shook your head, “Don’t be sorry…” you said, “I’m glad Claire invited you and that you had even showed up…” you admitted quietly as the both of you stared at each other deeply. Your hands found their way to his chest, resting comfortably on his bare skin, and he gazed down at you as if you were everything he’d ever wanted, and more.

Suddenly, as if a switch had flipped somewhere deep inside of him, his body tensed. His dark eyes widened as a look of horror appeared on his face. You frowned in confusion, “What’s wrong?” you asked worried. He seemed as if he were struggling to breath. “Are you okay? What is it?” you questioned.

“it’s just that esrlier I was going to ask if I could get your number, but I think it is such a bad time this moment…” he muttered almost too low to be heard. His hands began to shake slightly, his knuckles turning white in a visible sign of panic. You narrowed your eyes at his behavior.

‘Why does he seem uneasy?

And why do I feel anxious?’ you wondered in frustration, clenching your fists tightly, ‘Why do I feel like something is going to happen?’ you continued to ponder on your thoughts, not noticing Leon standing beside you. You were too lost inside your own mind to notice the man standing next to you.

“Well..uhhh” you stuttered looking at the male in front of you, “You can have it if that makes it up…maybe we could go grab some coffee or see a movie?” you suggested.

He smiled at the offer, “Sure…that sounds perfect. I think it has been a long time since I went out to dinner anyway.” he said chuckling sheepishly. ‘A date?!’ your mind screamed in excitement, your body becoming lightheaded. ‘I have a date with my bestfriend’s friend?!.' you thought excitedly. “Let me get my keys and say goodbye to Claire so we can head out.” Leon stated, grabbing his keys out of his pockets and opening the door to walk out of the room followed by you back into the parlor.

Saying goodbye’s to your friends and family as well you stepped outside, waiting for Leon to open the car door for you. After saying goodbye to everyone you climbed into the passenger seat and waited for Leon to join you. As soon as he got into the car he started the engine, backing out of the driveway.

A few seconds later you couldn’t help but notice his hands were shaking again, his knuckles white from how hard he was squeezing the steering wheel. You furrowed your eyebrows in concern, deciding it would probably be better for him if you didn't say anything. Instead, you chose to focus your attention outside of the window instead, watching the scenery rush past you quickly. Leon cleared his throat breaking the tense silence. "Sorry, my hands are a little shaky." he apologized, "I've never been in this area before." he explained.

You knew this was a lie, so you just played along.

You nodded in acknowledgement before taking a glance over to him, you were surprised to find he was looking right at you, his blue eyes gazing at you intensely, causing goosebumps to form along your skin.

"Do you live nearby?" you asked, suddenly nervous when he turned his gaze away from you. He nodded, “Yes..in fact, my house is not far from here actually.” You hummed nodding in approval before returning your eyes back outside.

The only thing on your mind now was your upcoming date and whether or not Leon is going to remember you. “So uh…” you began awkwardly. “What exactly are we going to do when we get there?” you asked after awhile of staring out the window, hoping he might be able to give some sort of response to your question. “Well…I suppose I should tell you all about myself first then, huh?” He chuckled as he took one hand off the steering wheel to fix the hair that fell across his forehead. You rolled your eyes smiling fondly at him before answering, “Alright, shoot” you replied.

*

Your eyes trailed slowly over to the side of him, noticing that he was still holding his hand on the steering wheel. You grabbed your bag strap pulling it tighter against yourself. The air became tense. You didn’t like the way the atmosphere felt, like it was getting darker and darker. When you had arrived to his house, taking off your shoes before you came in. He went to make popcorn and started up the movie.

Once finished with that he walked over to the living table where you sat and set the bowl of popcorn, and drinks down in front of you sitting dowm.

After a few minutes into the movie you fell asleep resting your head against his shoulder, which woke you up once Leon had placed you carefully on the couch. “(Y/N), wake up…” He whispered softly rubbing your arm soothingly.

You blinked your eyes groggily before lifting up your head slightly to see Leon’s face, “mmhm…Just a few more minutes…” you would groan, yet he moved you laying a pillow on his lap as you slept with a blanket thrown over you, his arm on your back rubbing light circles helping you drift back to sleep. Once you were asleep he carried you to his bed placing you next to him, tucking you kissing your forehead gently, “Sleep well, princess.” before resting his eyes taking in some sleep next to you.

*****

It was late afternoon and you woke up half asleep finding yourself lying ontop of Leon’s chest and he was still fast asleep, but his arms wrapped around you. You felt comfortable in his strong hold and your dreams were filled with nothing except him.

When your eyes fluttered open, you realized that you hadn’t dreamed, and that you weren’t sure if that was a good or bad thing. It was definitely a pleasant surprise though. You smiled lightly before shifting yourself to look up at him, leaning forward to press a kiss to his cheek. That’s when he woke up. His face immediately turning red, as he shot his eyes open.

“Hey sleepy head…” you cooed at him teasingly, running your finger across his chest. He turned his gaze shyly “Good morning...I was beginning to wonder when you would awaken, but I had decided that you were uncomfortable on the couch so I brought you in my room to sleep….ending up falling asleep myself. How embarrassing am I right?” he muttered quickly, averting his gaze. You giggled, “You are so embarrassed. I find that cute!” you grinned letting out a small laugh.

“Oh no, please don’t tell anyone else, they will tease me.. .” he joked laughing at the same time, you rolled your eyes playfully. “Okay I won’t tell anyone…but, maybe you should let me stay with you more often.” you suggested jokingly. He raised an eyebrow at you, “Hmm…are you sure? Because I think Claire might get the wrong idea....” he teased. You gave him a stern look, “And if she does? She can’t do anything about what she doesn’t know….” you smirked, making him raise his eyebrows even higher. Your face turned pink when you realized what you had just implied. He stared into your (e/c) eyes for a while, a smile appearing on his lips, “Don’t worry I won’t push you to tell her about us if you prefer to keep our relationship under wraps.” That smile sent shivers down your spine and caused your heart to begin pounding in your chest, your palms starting to sweat slightly.

Before you had a chance to respond he leaned forward, pressing a soft kiss against your forehead, letting his lips linger there for a second before moving his face closer to yours as your faces were inches apart, you opened your mouth to speak when he spoke. “I’ll always make sure our secret stays between the both of us…no matter what…” he breathed.

Your breath caught in your throat, the heat building up inside of you growing stronger than before. He pulled away, his face blushing slightly while you felt as if you were floating. He leaned back in closer and pressed another kiss against your forehead. Then finally closing the gap between your two faces, he kissed your lips tenderly, brushing them with your own. Feeling yourself melt into the kiss you parted your lips, allowing him entrance. This kiss wasn’t filled with passion but it was gentle and sweet. It was different from any other kiss that you had shared before.

He held onto the back of your neck, gently pushing you further into the kiss. He tasted of coffee and mint toothpaste as his tongue explored your mouth. This kiss was short lived however as the two of you pulled apart, gasping for air. A small chuckle escaped your lips as he laid your down gently onto the bed.

He laid down beside you wrapping his arm loosely around your waist, “I love you, Y/N” He mumbled quietly. “I love you too, Leon.” you responded, giving him a kiss on the lips. The rest of the night was filled with soft kisses and cuddles with his arm draped protectively over your waist. Neither one of you said anything, knowing that there wasn’t really needed to be.

All you could feel is pure happiness with him.

[miracles-and-butterflies]

How did the centre Mirabel react once she realised how much of pigment she had lost?

Mirabel swore she was dreaming when she passed by the mirror. They had only been in the new house for a handful of hours and she was still getting use to the modern layout. If she hadn’t walked into the bathroom, needing to clean her hands from some of Isabela’s pollen, she would have assumed it was some creepy portrait hanging on the wall. A painting of a ghost or something if she were to guess, from the pale and almost lifeless-looking figure staring back at her.

But, said portrait moved with her. Eyes widening and blinking as it shifted back from the sink, watery coloured liquid cascading between white fingers. As she breathed heavily, her reflection did too.

What the actual hell?

She knew that she lost pigment in her hands. She remembers them slowly losing their colour and warmth, disappearing in odd splotches. The room in the centre was quite dark so she was never fully aware of the extent - it would have helped if she had a mirror and her vision (at a distance) wasn’t so blurry - but she knew it was more than just her hands. She never realised it was quite this bad though. She can barely recognise herself. Her hair looks like it has been completely bleached. God, even her eyebrows and lashes… there’s a few spots of her actual skin colour still visible across her body, if that is any mercy.

The eyes are what threw her the most - they weren’t even the same. She had never heard of eyes being two different colours before. One eye, her left (the mirror’s right), was the same amber eyes of a doe that have been in her head since she was born. The other eye wasn’t remotely brown at all. No colour at all. There was more colour in the pollen coming off her hands than her whole body.

This couldn’t be real… this had to be a dream. Of course it was. Any second now she would wake up back in the centre from whatever torture she was being subjected to that day. Why would she ever think any of this could be real? Why would she ever get a gift? Why would they make it out of the centre in one piece? Why would things ever be good for them?!

That’s when Isabela sauntered in, completely covered in pollen and not being careful with what she was staining as she pushed the door open.

“Yeah, so, apparently Dolores was right and the adults are in fact not happy to have me redecorate the sitting room,” Isabela was saying, chuckling to herself. “Which is their loss. I think I improved the living room; plants give us oxygen to live, so it makes sense… you okay, sis? I don’t think you’ve blinked since I walked in?”

“This isn’t real,” Mirabel mumbled.

“What isn’t?”

“This… you… I’m not here…”

“You definitely are.” To prove the point, Isabela leaned over and lightly pinched her arm. Mirabel felt her knees give it out as she winced in pain. It wasn’t that sore; it was just what it meant. “Um… you okay?”

Mirabel didn’t answer. She couldn’t bring herself to get a word out. She just sobbed, staring at herself in horror. Her hands, her arms, her legs, the ends of her hair. She could almost make out the little holes of where the injections had been forced into her.

Isabela quickly washed the majority of the pollen off her arms and face, before crouching down on the floor beside Mirabel. Mirabel didn’t say anything and barely looked her way. She gently picked up her sister’s hands and dried them off with a towel, which finally made Mirabel look up at her.

“I’m sorry,” she says first. She doesn’t actually know what to say, but she knows she should say something. She knows she would want someone to talk to her if she was in Mirabel’s tiny shoes. “I know you might not feel like yourself, right now… or maybe ever. And you can change your hair or dress or name or whatever you want to make yourself feel better, and we’ll all support you with it because we’re your family. We’re not gonna leave you or throw you out or anything. Point is, you are still my little sister and I love you.”

Mirabel didn’t do anything for a moment, eventually she settled on throwing her arms around her sister and just crying into Isabela’s shoulder.

Isabela returned the hug, petting her hair gently. She wouldn’t usually, but just in case, Mirabel was worried that people would be freaked out and uncomfortable with the change of skin and hair. It was best just to prove she wasn’t.

“Besides,” she added, half-joking. “You aren’t getting out of dealing with my chaos that easy.”

[trickstarbrave]

I just thought of the demon au I made up and got kinda sad

Nerevar is determined to keep Voryn alive as a human to his full lifespan. At first he was determined to just keep him alive until he had a successor or two. But then he decided it’s important Voryn is there for the child until they’re less vulnerable. If Voryn dies, more ppl might come crawling out of the woodwork to hurt that child and then Voryn would never forgive him. And then he feels bad taking Voryn away before his heir gets married. Then he wants Voryn to see his grandkids

Nerevar keeps visiting still. He falls more and more in love with Voryn. Voryn gets older. Tells Nerevar he’s no longer fit and healthy so they can’t have sex as much nor can Nerevar take as much blood (and eventually no blood at all). Nerevar says it’s fine. When Voryn’s health starts fading he likes to lay beside Voryn in bed, gently stroking his greying hair. Voryn asks when Nerevar will take his soul since he waited so long and Nerevar assured him Voryn’s soul still belongs to him but he wants Voryn to live out his life naturally. Voryn tears up.

Nerevar doesn’t mind. He’s a demon, and Voryn will be married to him for an eternity. But it does hurt him to see Voryn getting older and sicker. Nerevar also chooses his body to look older so it’s less awkward for Voryn, though Nerevar being a demon is never like. frail.

Then, Nerevar is in hell when he can feel it. Voryn’s fading. He seems kind of scared. It’s the middle of the night. Nerevar rushes to his side and Voryn asks if he’s dying, and Nerevar can only say “I’ll be with you, I promise”. He gently holds Voryn’s hand and talks to him. Even after Voryn stops responding he can tell Voryn is still alive so he keeps going, telling Voryn how happy he was to see his kids grow up and grandkids too, and that Voryn was an excellent head of his house. Nerevar tells him it’ll all be alright, he promises, and gently kisses his head.

Voryn is certain his soul will be eaten, but he doesn’t care. He lived a long, healthy life and got to see his children and grandchildren grow up. Nerevar was there to comfort him through it all. Maybe it was all just a rouse, but Voryn doesn’t think it could be. He could have killed Voryn was earlier and eaten his soul, but he didn’t. This demon, in some way, cared for him. He doesn’t know for certain if it’s love, but it’s close enough for him. Right now he’s just happy to get to be with Nerevar in his final moments, bring held and gently talked to, not feeling alone. He tries to cling to it, honestly, wanting a few moments with him. It takes hours for him to pass, and Nerevar stays until his heart stops beating, before gently cradling the core of Voryn’s soul, and takes it away with him. It’s around an hour after he leaves Voryn’s family realized he passed and holds a funeral for him. Nerevar stays to watch, just because he wants to yell Voryn abt it later. Besides, Voryn’s soul is safe. He didn’t eat it but I imagine it’s kind of like. Inside him temporarily. Otherwise it would go who knows where.

After the funeral, Nerevar leaves a flower that was one of Voryn’s favorites. His family grew up knowing about the ghost that haunted the place. They don’t bat an eye at it or the letter with the shorthand symbol to summon Nerevar. On it it says “sorry for your loss. He was a great man, and I’m sure he’s in a better place. If you are ever in danger, use this. I’ll come running.” They don’t know if Nerevar is a demon or a guardian angel or what. All they know is the ghost never had any ill will towards them (except maybe scaring their mom/grandma a few times).

Then Nerevar needs to get a cool new demon form for Voryn. Voryn will be VERY confused when he opens his eyes to see Nerevar smiling fondly at him. Potentially start smacking him when he realizes what happened going “YOU CHEATING LITTLE SNAKE IF YOU TOLD ME WE’D BE SOUL MARRIED I WOULD HAVE JUST DIED YEARS AGO” but Nerevar laughs and says that’s kind of why he kept it a secret, so Voryn could enjoy his time.

They go haunting the place after a while and Voryn smiled fondly from the shadows at his grandkids and his first great grandchild. Voryn’s kids and grandkids are just happy that the furniture has moved and the ghost came back for a visit bc it was honestly more homey when there’s some ppl haunting the place. Voryn finds the book they recorded the symbol in for safekeeping and adds his own

[final-girl96]

Ageless Secrets Chapter Thirteen

Joel

Joel stacked a few flat rocks on top of each other by the rivers edge. It was the only way he could honor Tess. Yn sat not far from him, sitting on the rocks, staring blankly at the water. She had fallen asleep in his arms, exhausted from all the crying and grieving was now going through. He knew she didn't mean what she said; about it being his fault that Tess was bitten and is now gone. He also knew she didn't hate him. She might hate him at the moment but she'll forgive him; she'll forgive Tess too. She'll recover…hopefully.

He walked over to her and gently placed his hand on her shoulder. “Come on, we got a five hour hike to Bill and Franks.” She didn't say anything and didn't make an attempt to move. “Yn, we need to go.” That got a reaction out of her. She shrugged his hand off her shoulder and stood up, turning to look at him.

“Don't fucking touch me. I know what you're thinking, Joel. As soon as we get to Frank and Bills you'll finally be rid of me; be rid of Ellie. Then you can go off to find your brother. Have you ever thought that maybe he's not answering you or trying to reach out because he's dead or maybe he just doesn't want to deal with you anymore.” She pushed past him and walked back towards where Ellie was waiting.

Joel's hands formed into fists, he clenched his jaw so tight he thought he was going to crack his teeth. He had to remind himself she was grieving the loss of her sister. He would be that same way if it had been Tommy. He took a deep breath and slowly exhaled it before walking after her.

Yn

I felt guilty the second I said what I did to Joel. I shouldn't be taking my anger out on him. It wasn't his fault that Tess was infected. It could have happened to any of us. There have been countless times that I've almost gotten bitten only for Tess or Joel or Tommy saving me. I would like to say the person I was really mad at was Tess. Mad at her for getting herself into this shit and getting herself killed. But I'm not. I'm not mad at her or Joel or Tommy or even Ellie, no, I'm mad at myself.

I'm mad at myself for not talking her out of coming on this fucking trip. I'm mad that I pulled away from her. Mad that I didn't Spend more time with her. I'm mad that it wasn't me. She's all I had left and she's gone, of course I'm going to be pissed and everything and everyone. Even though I feel guilty for what I said to Joel, a part of me still thinks he's going to be happy to get rid of Ellie and I once we get to Frank and Bills.

As soon as Joel and I got back to where Ellie was waiting she stood up and started talking. “You want your jacket back?” She asked Joel, handing him his jacket. He took it from her and went over to his backpack. “I’ve never been in the woods. More bugs than I thought. Look, I’ve been thinking about…” Joel turned and looked at her, “I don’t want your sorries,” he said. I rolled my eyes and scoffed.

“I wasn’t gonna say I’m sorry,” Ellie snapped at him. “I was gonna say that I’ve been thinking about what happened. Nobody made you or yn or Tess take me. Nobody made you go along with this plan. You needed a truck battery or whatever, and you made a choice. So don’t blame me for something that isn’t my fault.”

“Nobody blames you, Ellie,” I told her, ignoring Joel's eyes bruning to me. “This wasn't your fault. It wasn't Joel's or mine. It was unfortunate. Like Tess said, our luck had to run out at some point.” Silence fell between the three of us for what felt like hours until Ellie broke it. “How much longer?” She asked. “Five-hour hike. We can manage that.” She nodded and grabbed her bag and put it on her back.

We walked for about two hours until we got to the road we needed to be on to get to Bill and Franks. It was mostly silent the whole way besides Ellie's attempt at whistling. “What the hell are you doing?” Joel asked her. “I'm trying to whistle,” she said and attempted it again. “You can't whistle?” I asked her. “No. I'm still trying to learn,” she said. I hummed, nodding my head, “They didn't teach you that in FEDRA school?” Joel asked. “Oh, ha ha ha.”

Another hour and we were getting closer and closer to our destination. “You’ve gone this way a lot? No Infected?” Ellie finally asked, breaking the silence. “Not often, no,” Joel answered.

“What are you looking out for?”

Joel sighed, “People.”

“Oh. Are Bill and Frank nice?” She asked, looking between Joel and I. “Frank is,” We said in unison. We walked a few more miles with Ellie asking questions the whole way. “How’d you get that scar on your head?”Joel side eyed her but didnt answer. “What? Is it something lame? Like you fell down the stairs or something?”

“I didn’t fall down any stairs,” Joel said, sighing in annoyance. “Okay, so what then?” She pressed. “Someone shot at me and missed.”

“See, that’s cool. You shoot back?” She asked. “Yeah.” Was Joel's simple answer. “You get him?”

“No, I missed, too. It happens more often than you think.”

“‘Cause you suck at shooting or, like, in general?” I couldn't help but let out a small laugh at how annoyed Joel was getting with all her questions. It was entertaining for me and took my mind off of what happened. “In general.”

“You know, seeing as it’s just the three of us, I was thinking I should pro…” Joel cut her off, “No.” I shook my head too agree with Joel, “Definitely no.”

Finally Cumberland Farms, a place we would stash stuff and where Joel would meet Bill sometimes, came into view. “Hang back a minute. I gotta grab some stuff I stashed.” Joel started walking towards the doors with Ellie hot on his heels. “Stashed? Why do you have stuff stashed here?” She asked. “You ask a lot of goddamn questions,” he said to her, huffing out a sigh. “Yes, I do.”

I hung back and let Ellie follow Joel inside. “So, are you gonna answer me or what?” I heard her ask and the heavy sigh of Joel. “We hide supplies on routes in case we find ourselves short on gear, which I currently am ’cause…” He was cut off and I saw Ellie over at the video game.

“No way! You ever play this one? I had a friend who knew everything about this game. There’s this one character named Mileena who takes off her mask and she has monster teeth, and then she swallows you whole and barfs out your bones!” She said excitedly. “That's pretty cool. I used to like going to the arcade when I was your age. Pacman and Donkey Kong were the ones I liked playing the most.” I stood there leaning against the door frame listening to Ellie talk more about the game until she looked over at Joel.

“Ah. Oh, man. You forgot where you put your stuff,” She said. Joel didn't look up at her, just kept trying to find where he stashed the shit. “No. I’m just zeroing in on it. It’s been a couple of years.” He would never admit to anyone that he in fact did forget where it was hidden. “Okay, well, I’m gonna take a look around, see if there’s anything good.”

“Trust me, it’s all been picked over already,” he told her, still looking for the loose flooring. “Maybe, maybe not. Is there anything bad in here?” She asked. “Just you,” he retorted. “Ah. Getting funnier.” Ellie rolled her eyes and headed into the back.

“Fuck.”

There was some clunking coming from where Ellie was that caught Joel's attention, making him look up. “You alright back there?” He asked loudly. “Yep!”

“It's over there,” I said, pointing to where the loose floorboards were that we stashed shit in. He looked back at me and I raised my eyebrows at him. “I know that,” he said, going over to where I pointed. “Sure. Keep telling yourself that old man.” He scoffed at my jab and knelt down. “Old man. i'll show you old man,” he mumbled under his breath but I heard it.

I stayed by the door looking back every once in a while, keeping watch to make sure nobody snuck up on us. It was about five minutes with no sound from Ellie. “Ellie?” I called out, looking over at Joel when I didn't get an answer right away. “Ellie!” Joel yelled, standing up now with his gun slowly coming up to his shoulder. “Ellie?”

I jumped a little when she came out of the back room, “Picked over, my ass,” she said, holding a box of tampons up. I could see the heavy breath and went back to what he was doing. “What are you doing?” Ellie asked him as he put the rifle that he got off the guard in the hole with the other stuff. “There’s not much ammo out there for this thing. Makes it mostly useless,” he told her.

“Well, if you’re just gonna leave it there.”

“No,” Joel and I said in unison. Ellie rolled her eyes and we walked out of the store and headed on our way.

[hitchell-mope]

(Third film. After “skyfall”. The screen cuts to black and opens back up onto Uma falling through a cloudy void at top speed. This is when “Uma’s theme” happens. After the song. Uma sits at the table for a little while before standing up and slamming her hands down in the table)

Uma: NO!

(She runs off into the void until she enters a large Broadway theatre. The audience is full of Ned clones and the only one on the stage is Carlos who’s playing the piano. He spots Uma and he smiles)

Carlos: gentleman, may I present to you, Captain Uma Facillier.

(Uma gets pulled up onto the stage by an invisible force. As she looks around on the monitors she sees that her appearance has changed again. She’s wearing a flashy 1940’s big band dress in the brightest jewelled turquoise. Her hair is turquoise again as well and fashioned in long sausage curls. Matching turquoise wedge heels complete the ensemble)

Uma: what’s all this for? What am I supposed to do?

Carlos: sing Captain. Just sing.

(He starts up the piano again. This is when “I wanna be evil” happens. After the song. Carlos and all of the Ned’s disintegrate into sand and disappear leaving Uma alone on a sand strewn stage. A red spotlight turn on behind her silhouetting the form of Harry Hook in front of her)

Uma: no. No that’s impossible. Gil and Mal got rid of you. You’re gone. YOU’RE DEAD!

(The silhouette shakes his head slowly. Then seems to fly through Uma causing her to be flung backwards onto the floor)

Uma: it wasn’t supposed to be like this. I saw you die. I couldn’t do anything. I’m sorry but you’re dead! Just leave me ALONE!

(Words appear in the spotlight. “All. Your. Fault”. Uma collapses into a sobbing mess. But then she notices a cutlass lying next to her. She picks it up. This is when “confrontation” happens. After the song. Uma lands, painfully, in a dingy prison hallway. Her half is back in braids and she’s wearing a turquoise prison jumpsuit. Marching towards her are Ben, Jay, Gil and Hadie, all dressed like prison guards. Uma starts running. This is when “monster” happens. After the song. In the infirmary. Uma’s heart monitor starts beeping normally again)

Gil: oh thank god.

Evie: I still say you should’ve unplugged her.

Mal: Doug be a dear and get my sister out of here before I grind her bones into bread.

Doug: on it.

Ella: I’m sorry but some of you still need to leave. Only Uma’s next of kin can be here.

Facillier: see you tomorrow then your highness.

Mal (handing him a form): about that.

Facillier: you are kidding me.

Doug: I was the one who gave Uma the forms. Trust me. They’re correct. Mal and Gil are Uma’s next of kin.

Facillier: I’m her father.

Mal: and you’ll keep her alive no matter what. I’ll know when to call time and Gil will keep her comfortable. See you tomorrow sir.

(After Facillier leaves Mal creates a screen into Uma’s mind in thin air. Uma’s back on the stage, in a foetal position against the wall)

Mal: Pain. Panic. I need you guys to do me a favour.

(Back in Uma’s mind. Pain and Panic slither up the stage and sit down beside her. This is when “sweet child” happens. After the song. Pain and Panic teleport Uma to another stage where Morgana is waiting for her with her arms opened wide, ready for a hug. But Uma steps away)

Morgana: it’s okay. We can just sit and talk. Cmon.

(Uma sits down next to Morgana. She takes a few shuddering breaths. Then jumps off the stage runs back up the aisle. She turns back to Morgana. This is “cry pretty” happens. After the song. The electricity stops. Uma looks up to see that Morgana has disappeared. At a loss as to what to she can do. Uma walks onto the stage and starts playing the piano. This is when “problem child” happens. After the song. Uma starts crying even more. Her self pity is interrupted by some very loud background music. Looking up. Uma sees Mal walking towards her)

Uma: what the hell are you doing here? And what the hell are you wearing?

Mal: I’m not really here. I’m astral projecting into your brain. And this is Ben’s Eleventh Doctor cosplay.

Uma: the bow tie gives you a turkey wattle.

(Mal takes the bow tie off and uses it to tie her hair into a ponytail)

Mal (sardonically): better?

Uma (shrugging): Hm. Marginally.

Mal: fair enough. 3....2....1. Con-tact.

(The electricity courses through Uma. Once more making her fall to the floor in the process)

Mal: cmon cousin. Breathe through it. It’ll all be over soon. One way or another.

(The electricity stops)

Uma: why does this keep happening?

Mal: it’s the defibrillators.

Uma: the what?

Mal: de-fib-rill-a-tors. You almost drowned. You’ve been in a coma for a month.

Uma: what?

Mal: a month. Happy birthday cousin.

Uma: it’s my birthday.

Mal: yep. May 31st 2518. Or at least. That’s what your grandma told us.

Uma: how old am I?

Mal: 19.

Uma: really? Coulda sworn I was older than you.

Mal: keep dreaming cuz. Now. On to business. Somewhere in here is your trident. Find it. Bring it back here. And we’ll take it from there.

Uma: what if I can’t?

Morgana: but you can. It’s a memory. That’s all. Just a memory.

Mal: but. It could be the key to you waking up.

Uma: is this what you have to do? When you get trapped in your mind?

Mal: more or less. Which is why I’m here. I’m going to help you the way you tried to help me.

Uma: how?

Mal: oh cousin. You’re a fighter. You’ve fought every day of your life. Mostly against me. But still. You’re a fighter. Always have been. Always will be. Think about it like that.

(This is when “fight song” happens. After the song. Uma stops and turns to Mal, looking at her quizzically)

Uma: why ARE you here?

Mal: you named me and Gil your next of kin. You’re dad’s really mad about it.

Uma: yeah well I’m not so crazy about it either. Oh but I bet your sister was ecstatic(.)

Mal: she tried to kill you with a pillow.

Uma: yep. That’s your sister alright. So where’s Gil.

Mal: that doesn’t matter right now. What does matter is you being able to use that trident of yours. And if there’s one thing I know about these ridiculous situations is that it helps to have family around you and you’re in v-fib again. Lovely(.)

(The electricity is surging through Uma again. Then it stops)

Mal: you finshed? I’m ever so glad.

Uma: why do they keep doing that?

Mal: you’re circling the drain cousin. And they have orders to keep you alive until I’m out of your subconscious. Now talk to your dad, your gran, your sisters and your dead aunt. I’m gonna go get popcorn.

(Mal teleports away, leaving UK’s with Morgana and duplicates of Facillier, Odie, Freddie and Celia)

Uma: okay then. Talk. Um. Me first? Alright then. Uh.

(This is when “just like fire” happens. After the song. Mal comes back on stage looking very pissed off)

Mal: some subconscious you have. There’s not even a fucking snack bar. Unless you count the multiple Ned’s of course. So. How was the talk?

Uma: I coded again.

Mal: right. Well then. Up.

Uma: what?

Mal: up. Get up. Cmon cousin. Up, up, up!

(She grabs Uma by the arm and leads her through an invisible door into a massive room with a black and white chequerboard floor)

Uma: where the hell are we this time?

Mal: I figured. It’s your birthday. You’re dying. Why not have a party?

Uma: I am trying not to feel insulted.

Mal: don’t be. Now. What theme do you want?

Uma: huh. Uhhhh. You know that music video Gil keeps watching?

Mal: Shirley Bassey’s Get This Party Started?

Uma: that’s the one.

Mal: done and done. Now the guest list.

Uma: Gil and my family, obviously, Gil’s “girlfriend”, I guess.

Mal: my god you’re jealous.

Uma: of course I am. She stole my best friend from me. You and Ben. Can we get Doug without Evie?

Mal: nope. Sorry. I tried. They’re attached at the heart, hip and genitals.

Uma: gross.

Mal: yeah. Anyone else?

Uma: everyone. All our friends. Except the Hook’s, your dad, his wife, your mother and Ben’s mother. Oh. And I want your siblings to be nicer to me. They scare me. I want everyone singing my praises.

Mal: missing your crew, huh, cousin?

Uma: yes. Very much so yes.

Mal: it’s your birthday party. They will act however you see fit.

Uma: that was ominous.

Mal: huh?

Uma: nothing. Di you you thing.

Mal: make it big and make it hearty/give my cousin her dream birthday party.

(Everything happens at once. The guests. The decorations. The cake. The piano. Everything appears instantaneously. And Uma’s greeted by her guests. All of who are clamouring for her attention)

Everyone: SPEECH!!!! SPEECH!!!! SPEECH!!!! SPEECH!!!

Mal: I think they want a speech cousin.

Uma: yeah. I got that. Oh god what can I say?

(This is when “side by side by side” happens. After the song. Mal looks uneasily at the party guests)

Mal: I’ll be back in a moment.

(She teleports back into her body in the infirmary and wakes up to see everyone but Ben and Elsa looking at her like she massacred a village)

Mal (getting up from the chair): um. Before you all yell at me may I just say that oh-KAY!

(Doug just punched her in the face)

Mal: I deserve that. OOF!

(Lonnie just punched her in the face)

Mal: I deserved that too. MOTHERF-AUGH-CHRIST!

(Evie just punched her in the face, kneed her in the ground and walloped her on the back)

Mal: you’re pushing your luck Evie!

Evie: how dare you. How DARE you put me through that. I am your sister!

Mal: yes it’s funny that you only say that when you want to guilt me into doing something for you or when you want to guilt me out of doing something for me. Because funnily enough. This wasn’t about you!

Evie: nothings ever about me is it? You won’t let me plan your wedding! You won’t let me make your clothes! WHAT CAN I DO!?!?

Mal: SIT DOWN, SHUT UP AND STAY SILENT! Like every secondary character should!

Evie: you evil moronic intimate cu-

Ben: okay here’s what we’re gonna do. Evie take a load off go and find Doug.

Evie: I’m fine Ben.

Ben: it’s not a discussion. It’s an order. Go. Now!

(He wafts Evie away)

Ben: alright then. Now that’s settled-

Mal: I’m sorry. Ben I’m sorry. She’s dying. My cousins dying. I wanted to pay her back for trying to help me when I was dying. I got carried away. I’m so sorry.

Ben: it’s okay. We’re fine. It’s okay. No harm done.

Elsa: you really probably should’ve told them first though.

Jay: yeah. You should’ve.

Mal: I know. And I am so, so sorry.

Ben: I would’ve done the same for Gil.

Carlos: I would’ve done the same fit Dude.

Gil (thickly): she’s not dying. I won’t allow it.

Mal (gently): Gil. Honey. She keeps crashing. I think it’s time we discuss

Gil (breaking down): NO!!!! YOU HELP HER!!!! YOU FIX HER!!!! SHE HELPED YOU!!!! SO YOU HELP HER!!!!

Mal: okay. Okay. I’ll go back in there.

Ben: it’ll be fine. I’ll talk to him.

Mal: she doesn’t have long left.

(She goes back into Uma’s mind. Where Uma is watching Gil’s torment on the midair screen)

Uma: is that because of me?

Mal: kind of. Yeah. He’s taking this all really badly.

Uma: I want out. I want to talk to Gil.

Mal: go for it.

(In the infirmary)

Gil: she can hear us yeah?

Ben: yeah. Talk to her. About anything.

Gil: okay. Um. Uma. If you can hear.

(In Uma’s mind)

Uma: I can hear you Gilly.

(In the infirmary)

Gil: please come back.

(This is when “(I guess I) miss you” happens. After the song. Ben’s looking analytically at the screen into Uma’s mind)

Ben: Pain. Panic. I have a theory.

(In Uma’s mind)

Uma: why sixteen?

Mal: hm?

Uma: on Neverland it’s everyone for themselves. But over here you can drink, do drugs and do people at sixteen. And why? I thought you guys were all “nothing before marriage”.

Ben: I can answer that. I was king at sixteen. I had to do homework and paperwork. And I thought. I need some vices. So I made alcohol, drugs and sex legal at sixteen. And made the subjects compulsory learning in Auradon Prep. That way people are less likely to do things willy nilly and get hurt.

Uma: wait so. Your first proclamation was getting kids off the island.

Ben: and the second was hedonism yes.

Uma: and here I thought you were a stick in the mud.

Mal: look at who he’s marrying.

Ben: is that my Eleventh Doctor cosplay?

Mal: yes. Yes it is.

Ben: I like it. Maybe I should put your River Song cosplay on tonight.

Mal: mm-hm-hm. Maybe you should.

Uma: do you mind not flirting while I’m in a coma please?

Bal: sorry.

Uma: Ben. Why are you here?

Ben: I have a theory. Firing the party you were happiest dancing with Ned and Gil. So I’m thinking. Harry’s holding you back. Or at least. His memory is.

Uma: what?

Ben: your grief and your guilt over Harry’s death. I think it’s keeping you in the coma.

HarryOof. Parlez du cadavre.t fucking thing I’ve ever bloody heard.

Mal: Oof. Parlez du diable.

Harry: ah shaddup. Uma. Don’t listen to em. They wanna change ya. I don’t. I never did.

Ned: but what if Uma wants to change? What if she wants to be better than she was with you.

Mal: think about it this way cousin. You could’ve beaten me. You could’ve killed Ben. You could’ve gotten your revenge. You could’ve won. But you gave it all up. To save Harry. And look where it got you. Alone with your mother. For a year. He’s been holding you back all this time. But now you can rid of him.

Ben: no pressure though.

Harry: NO! NO WE NEED EACH OTHER! WE HAVE ALWAYS NEEDED EACH OTHER! I WILL NOT ALLOW YOU TO TAKE HER AWAY FROM ME!

Uma: no

Harry: heh?

Uma: you’re dead. I saw you die. You’re a memory Harry. That’s all. And you’re poisoning me from the inside. They’re right. It’s not worth it holding on to you. It time for you to go.

Harry: don’t listen to em!

Uma: NO Harry. Leave me alone.

(This is when “I say no” happens. After the song. Uma rebounds off of the screen and falls down to the floor. Then the electricity starts again. Ben goes to help her but Mal stops him)

Mal: 3....2....1....there we go. That’s wasn’t so bad was it cousin? It’s the defibrillators. She doesn’t have long left. Excuse me.

(She heads towards Uma and a cruelly cackling Harry, taking the bow tie out of her hair as she does so)

Uma: I really thought that would work.

Mal: yeah. Mhmm. So did I. Just let me try something first

(She loops the bow tie around Harry’s neck and pulls tightly, choking him in the process, digging the material right into his skin)

Mal: hey cousin. C’mere. Look at this.

Uma: what are you doing?

Mal: never mind that. What do you feel? Anger? Hatred? Protection?

Uma: nothing. I feel nothing.

Mal: good. That’s good. How about now?

(She slits Harry’s throat and shoves him back to the floor)

Uma: still nothing.

Mal: get that brother? She feels nothing for you.

Ben: whet do you want now Uma? Right now. Right this second. What do you want?

Uma: I don’t want to see him. I don’t want to think about him. I just want to get out of here by any means necessary and unnecessary.

Mal: I love it when the quiz gets aced.

Harry: what about me though?

Mal: 🎶who cares🎶

Harry: I mean it.

Mal: so do I. Who. The fuck. Cares. About. You? I don’t. Gil doesn’t. Uma doesn’t. Your father sure as fuck never did.

Harry: hades. Our brother.

Ben: know better than to cross Mal and I ever again.

Harry: my sisters.

Mal: well our sister doesn’t care about you. In fact. She keeps trying to pull the plug on Uma. Just to make sure you die for good as well. And as for your other sisters. They’re rotting in the dungeon for all eternity without magic or Hope of appeal. And you have been rotting for months.

Ben: let Uma go Harry. It’s what’s best for her. It’s what’s best for everyone.

Harry: NOOOO!!!! I need you!

Uma: I don’t need you. Not anymore. Please Harry. Just please.

(This is when “I don’t wanna think about you” happens. After the song. Mal is laughing her head off as Harry disappears. But then she does deadly silent, teleports Uma behind Ned and turns to Ben)

Mal: go back to the infirmary. Restrain Gil by any means necessary. He can’t be allowed to see what’s happening.

Ben: agreed.

(In the infirmary Gil’s getting mor and more frantic)

Gil: WHAT’S HAPPENING?!?! WHY DOES HE KEEP COMING BACK?!?! WHY ISN’T UMA AWAKE YET?!?! WH-

(Ben, panicking, had just pulled Gil’s aorta out of his chest)

Ben: I’m sorry. Go to sleep until I tell you to wake up. Please.

Lonnie: what did you DO?!?!

Evie (hopeful): is Uma dead?

Doug (looking at the midair screen): why does Hook have a gun?

(It’s true. The memory of Harry in Uma’s mind is brandishing a flintlock pistol at her, Ned and Mal. Only Mal isn’t fazed)

Mal: is this really how you want to spend your final seconds? Bro?

Harry: I’m staying with her. No matter what.

Mal: Uma. Choose. Now. Life. Or dying with Harry’s memory.

Uma: I wanna live.

Mal: there you have it Harriet. Uma doesn’t want you. Not anymore. Not now she has Ned.

Harry: then I’ll kill ‘im. Kill the memory. Only I’m left.

Mal: you don’t wanna do that.

Harry: I’ll kill is all.

Mal: you really don’t wanna do that.

Harry: why not?

Mal: because if you kill Uma. I can’t leave. And believe me when I say I won’t stop. I’ll never stop trying protect our cousin from you. Never.

(Harry screams in rage. Mal looks at him derisively)

Mal: get. A better. Vocabulary.

Harry: you’re not in control here.

Mal (slowly advancing on Harry and forcing him to step backwards): oh but I am. And I really think you know it.

(This is when “make me happy” happens. After the song. Mal and Ned look at Uma gingerly as she stares blankly at the void)

Mal: hey cuz. You alright?

Uma: mhmm. Oh hey Ned. When did you get here?

Ned: I’m not really Ned. We’re in your subconscious. You’re in a coma. Remember?

Uma: oh yeah. Can I go now? Only it’s my birthday and Gil’s probably waiting for me so if you don’t mind-

Ben: I’m so sorry Uma. I think we’re out of time

Mal: oh no. I forgot about the clause.

Uma: clause? What clause?

Mal: when you signed the forms to be Ben’s bodyguard you didn’t just make me and Gil your next of kin. You also signed a clause saying that in the event of an accident like this we were to keep you on life support for a month. And no longer.

Ben: it’d eleven pm. You have an hour. I’m so, so sorry.

Uma: no. No I can’t go yet. Gil needs me. The twins need me. I need Ned. I CAN’T DIE A VIRGIN! Oh god!

(She sinks to her knees, wracked with sobs. This is when “how could this happen to me” happens. After the song. Mal gets an idea. Mal gets a wonderfully cruel, perfectly awful idea)

Mal: well that’s that then. C’mon Ben. There’s nothing else for us to do here. Goodbye cousin. We’ll give you a state funeral.

Uma: what?

Mal: well this whole thing was a complete and utter waste of time because you are CLEARLY incapable of letting go of your shortcomings. So. Uh. Buh-bye.

(She salutes Uma and teleports back to the infirmary with Ben)

Ben: plan?

Mal: what’s the one thing that EVERYONE knows about Uma?

Ben: she has breath taking anger management issues, she’s been making a lot of progress but she still has a massive inferiority/superiority complex where you’re concerned OH MY GOD!

Mal: let’s see if it worked shall we?

(On the midair screen, Uma’s screaming impotently at the spot Mal and Ben disappeared from)

Uma: IT CAN’T END LIKE THIS! YOU SAID YOU’D HELP ME! I CAN’T DIE LIKE THIS! IT’S NOT FAIR! YOU GOT YOUR HAPPY ENDING SO I SHOULD GET MINE! IT’S NOT FAIR!

Mal: Celia. Your turn.

(Celia smiles creepily and teleports into Uma’s mind)

Celia: I mean. Mal has a point don’t she? You have an hour left to live and you’re falling apart over something that you can’t control. Just like always. I told you. I told you using dad’s magic would bite you in the ass. But did you listen? Did you buggery. And now I have to pick up the pieces. As. Per fucking. Usual.

(At the end of her rope Uma goes to slap Celia to the ground but holds off at the very last second)

Celia: go on. Do it. I dare you.

Morgana: don’t give her the satisfaction. You know what Mal’s trying to do. Make it work in your favour.

Uma: how?

Morgana: remember what you want. Remember what you’ve been through. Remember what’s important to you. Use it to your advantage.

(This is when “memory” happens. After the song. Ben is s looking at the screen)

Ben: I think I should go in there.

Mal: you think it would help?

Ben: yes. I hope.

Mal: go for it.

(In Uma’s mind. She’s still looking at the spot her Id disappeared from)

Ben: you okay?

Uma: how did you know?

Ben: know what?

Uma: that Mal was it for you. How did you know that Mal was it for you?

Ben: I’ve know since I was six. I dreamt about her every night since I was six. Even when Adam set me up with Audrey I knew that, for me, it had to be the girl I dreamt of. The girl with the purple hair.

Uma: is that why you picked her and the others instead of me?

Ben: Uma. You’re still not getting it. Me and Doug picking Mal, Jay, Carlos and Evie instead of you was entirely coincidental. We had to sneak into the records in between homework and curfew and family dinners and extracurriculars. It took us nearly six months until we got to the M’s. I could’ve chosen entirely different people. It could’ve been you, Gil Anthony and Maddox. I could’ve been stuck with Audrey. But I got lucky. I chose Mal and her friends. And I met the love of my life in the waking world.

Uma: and I got left behind.

Ben: it could’ve been you if you’d waited. But you abducted me instead.

Uma: okay that’s fair. I deserve that. Have you ever told Mal that.

Ben: yes. But not back then. I didn’t want her to feel obligated.

Uma: you’re a good guy.

Ben: so is Ned.

Uma: I know. I blew it with didn’t I?

Ben: uhhhh. Mal. Little help?

(In the infirmary)

Mal: everyone ready? Lovely.

(She teleports the vigil into Uma’s mind)

Mal: it’s simple cousin. Don’t want what Ben and I have? What Doug and Evie have? Gil and Lonnie? Jay, Carlos and Jane? Anthony and Hadie? Diego and Freddie? Persey and Maddox? You and Ned are the only ones left still single.

Uma: there’s Quinlan.

Evie: ahaha. That one’ll always be alone poor thing. Poor. Annoying thing.

Uma: why is your sister back here?

Mal: you have less than twenty minutes. We needed reinforcements.

Uma: so you brought her?

Mal: someone needs to kick you up the ass.

Uma: what’re you saying? You wanna annoy me into living?

Mal: pretty much yeah. Hit it!

(This is when “being alive” happens. After the song. Mal, Uma and morgana are standing in the infirmary, outside of Uma’s body)

Uma: am I. Am I dead?

Mal: not yet. By my reckoning you have less than ten minutes. So uh. Better hurry.

Uma: what am I supposed to do?

Mal: oh right. Sorry. You gotta fall into yourself to wake up.

Uma: will uh. Will you be there?

Morgana: no honey. I’m dead. Permanently. But I’ll be in your head forever.

Mal: oh how schmaltzy(.)

Uma: do you mind? I’m trying to say goodbye to my mother.

Mal: oh really? Interesting. Finally cutting Ursula loose eh?

Uma: yes. I think so. Yes.

Mal: good. It’s about damn time. Now get into your comatose body. Clocks a-ticking. You have less than six minutes. Let’s go, go, go!

(Uma hesitates. Mal takes a very angry breath and turns to Morgana)

Mal: convince her. Or I will. And she ain’t gonna like how I do it.

Morgana: Uma. Listen to me. It’s gonna be fine. It’s all going to be fine. Just like always

(This is when “the call” happens).