#just wanted to add that commentary!!!
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ashmcgivern · 1 year ago
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Hey if you love Wind Waker as much as I do, you should check out ZREO Second Quest's new album, Fair Winds and Following Seas. It's beautiful, everything ZREO does drives me insane, and I absolutely had the album on repeat while drawing this!
(I also would like to thank @hyruviandoctor for unwittingly providing the sail fin idea by joking that “he’s missing his sail. It goes on his back silly”)
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A Draconified King
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thatswhatsushesaid · 3 months ago
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i think fandom spaces would become much more enjoyable across the board if people stopped flipping their pancakes over other fans enjoying characters that they don't like. or, god forbid, like them but in 'the wrong way.'
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uncomfortably-bowing · 2 years ago
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there's so much utena discourse around certain aesthetic signatures of the show (in particular, scenes and shots like the sword pulls, the transformations and outfits, etc.) and, like, surface-level discussions over whether these things are "Actually Beautiful" or "Actually Bad."
and i totally get it, especially with regards to some scenes---like the ways in which people have taken the ending scene of episode 33 and turned into weird pastel-pretty aesthetic boards lmao----but i do feel like a lot of the discussion is over-simplistic, and disconnected from the actual framing and themes of the series
utena and anthy's world is full of beauty. it is also full of horror and pain. there is often no clear delineation between the two, and we are forced (quite generously!) to recognize both sides of this.
the sword pulls oftentimes carry feelings of manipulation, hurt, subservience. anthy summoning the sword drives in the repetitive, obedient actions she is forced to repeat time and time again for others as the rose bride. in the black rose arc, they're violent and terrifying. in the third arc, they're stand-ins of the dysfunctions the characters have with the person drawing them, the ways in which their emotions are being twisted and ignored.
and yet! they're beautiful.
they're incredibly intimate moments, in which the two characters---who, generally speaking, are either emotionally or physically estranged from one another---cradle or hold one another, pull out a culmination of that person's essence, as a heavenly light frames the two of them together. the first time anthy does it to utena, it is out of genuine fear for her, her voice quivering with fear as she tries to do anything to help her! it's love! it's an act of beautiful love!
when pressed on how it felt to have their sword drawn, the duelists are flustered---they can't say it was just painful, because it was more than just painful. the screams of the black rose arc turn into something more quiet, ethereal, pretty---and yet still uneasy, unsettling.
a similar conversation can be had about utena and anthy's outfits. they're symbols of their roles as duelist and rose bride, and for anthy in particular it's an outfit emblematic of her status as a static, never-moving prize to be won. the outfits are as ugly as the entire dueling system, and yet---while recognizing this---the show doesn't stray away from associating the dress and the duels with delightful, beautiful imagery. the rose imagery in general is very beautiful and striking, even at some of the more dark moments!
there is an aesthetically pleasing contrast between anthy's dress and utena's uniform---one that goes back ages in terms of our understandings of gender and social status. why is that beauty there? well, for a lot of reasons! one is definitely making us question what we think of as beautiful, particularly in the contexts of gender roles and society (why did we have that gut impulse to see anthy in that dress as beautiful to begin with?) but, for the sake of this post, i think the most satisfying answer is because horror and beauty are usually intertwined in our actual lives.
so much of the show is dedicated to both finding beauty in horrifying situations and seeing how beautiful things are oftentimes pretty horrifying. anthy and utena's relationship is beautiful, but grows out of abuse, sexism, queerphobia, and hurt.
when utena and anthy dance in front of everyone at the ball, how do we interpret that? well, our first instinct is as a beautiful scene of budding love and care between the two of them; our second instinct (especially after watching the show) is that it's another example of the way in which they've both been boxed into these roles of prince and bride---and all as hundreds of eyes are staring at them. when does the line between gender as choice and performance begin, and when does it become oppressive gender roles? when does anthy's performance as the meek rose bride become her real self? when do the two's relationship become loving, and when do they stop hurting each other? when do the ugly things at ohtori become beautiful, and when do all of the beautiful things become ugly?
and there's not really one point, always, although sometimes there are---and sometimes there's multiple points, and sometimes there was no transformation at all, and sometimes things never stopped oscillating between good and bad, ugly and beautiful, scary and hopeful.
and like, even beyond the really radical ways this impacts the queer and feminist readings of the show, i just think that's also very nice. so much of utena is built on recognizing the beauty in the world. the main characters live in a shitty world while leading shitty lives. and they find beauty in it still.
(i will here also add here at the end that when the show wants to make a very clear definitive statement on one of its aesthetics being basically entirely bad with no beauty behind it, it's very frank in its framing. see: any shot with utena in a dress or her girl's uniform)
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spacephobos · 2 years ago
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I've got so much I want to say about Polite Society. But I refuse to post anything too spoilery yet.
So one thing I will say is the way Lena's depression and mental health is written is incredible. So often when men write women with mental health issues they write this sort of "prettily struggling" womsn in a spiral.
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(this infamous queens gambit scene comes to mind)
They're never allowed to actually be ugly or gross or even not have their hair and makeup be perfect.
Like beth here is in a pretty frilly top shes reclining in an uncomfortable fashion. Her makeup looks perfect and he cardigan is prettily draped over her shoulders. She's meant to be attractive. Her sadness is almost fetishised.
but then Lena looks like this
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Whereas Lena's a WRECK. It's considered an achievement she showered. AND shes proud of herself for that small acomplishment. Shes angry. She destroys her work. She's dressed in sweats and pyjamas with either no makeup (if i remember correctly) or makeup that looks like it's been on for days. There's a scene where shes wandering aimlessly and just buys a duck to eat. And she does not eat it daintily or prettily (and no its not a chicken ppl seem to be confused).
I love that she spends all the first act in hoodies and pajamas looking like shes not washed in 3 days. It's just so good to see a woman direct another woman with depression. There's so much to be said about the male gaze and how it even impacts the portrayal of women going through crisis. The removal of that lens has created what I will argue is the most authentic experience of depression in a woman I've maybe ever seen. I literally cannot think of another time I've seen that.
Anyways Nida Manzoor I love you.
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commandercello · 29 days ago
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Three anime girls that are definitely not based on a classic British sci-fi/comedy series
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canisalbus · 1 year ago
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I'm sorry if this is weird but I'm just getting back to tumblr and your way of answering asks got me curious! Is there a reason for the dots and the answer in the tags? Love your art btw have a incredible day!
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lesbiancarat · 7 months ago
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want to give my two cents on the AI usage in the maestro trailer--
i think seventeen doing a whole concept that is anti-AI is very cool, especially as creatives themselves i think it's good that they're speaking up against it and i hope it gets more ppl talking about the issue. i also understand on a surface level the artistic choice (whether it was made by the members, the mv director, or whoever else), to directly use AI in contrast to real, human-made visuals and music in order to criticize it. i also appreciate that they clearly stated the intention of the use of AI at the beginning of the video
however, although i understand it to an extent, i do not agree with the choice to use AI to critique AI. one of the main ethical concerns with generative AI is that it is trained on other artists' work without their knowledge, consent, or compensation. and even when AI generated images are being used to critique AI, it still does not negate this particular ethical concern
the use of AI to critique also does not negate the fact that this is work that could have been done by an actual artist. i have seen some people argue that it's okay in this context because it's a critique specifically about AI, and it is content that never would have been done by a real artist anyway because it doesn't make sense for the story they're trying to tell. but i disagree. i think you can still tell the exact same story without using AI
and in fact, i would argue that it would make the anti-AI message stronger if they HAD paid an artist to draw/animate the scenes that are supposed to represent AI generated images. wouldn't it just be proof that humans can create images that are just as bad and nonsensical and soulless as AI, but that AI can't replicate the creativity and beauty and basic fucking anatomy that's in human-made art?
it feels very obvious this was not just a way to cut corners and costs like a lot of scummy people are using AI for. ultimately it was a very intentional creative decision, i just personally think it was a very poor one. and even if some ethical considerations were taken into account before this decision, i certainly don't think all of them were. at the very least i feel like the decision undermines the message they want to convey
i would also like to recognize that i myself am not an artist, and i have seen some artists that are totally on board with the use of AI in this specific context, so clearly this is not a topic that is cut and dry. but generative AI is still new, and i think it's important to keep having these conversations
#melia.txt#also want to add that as musicians svt are more directly threatened by AI generated audio than they are by AI generated images#and yet AI generated images is what was used in the video#and i guess the MV director/production company are the ones directly responsible for putting that in there#whether it was their initial idea or not#and they work in a visual medium so perhaps that makes it more 'fair' but idk it just feels like#the commentary is around music. which makes sense. and using human produced music/sound#but then taking advantage of AI images#idk just feels weird#i mean i don't like it either way#like i said in the main post i understand the intention behind the creative decision#and i'm still happy svt are speaking against ai at all i do think overall they're doing a good thing here#i just don't agree with the creative decision they/the production company/whoever made#edit: deleted the part about not boycotting svt over this bc ppl were commenting about boycotting bc of the 🛴 stuff#i meant specifically /I/ am not calling for a boycott because of specifically the ai stuff#was just trying to make a general point that im not making this post bc i want to sabatoge svt or whatever#bc kpop fans love to pull that catd whenever u criticize anything#so yeah just removed that bit bc i dont want ppl getting confused what im talking about#respect ppl boycotting because of scooter/israel stuff but thats not what this post was intended to be about#edit 2: turning off reblogs bc im going to bed and having asomewhat controversial post up is not gonna help me sleep well lol#may or my not turn rb's back on in the morning
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thedrotter · 6 months ago
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as a little treat i am sharing with you little Aya doodles I've done over the last few days to unwind ww just little expressions based on lines in-game because those are always fun to draw. nothing too special just biscuit
it's Aya because upon doing bizarrely throughout playthroughs of the game for still unspecified project purposes I've gained a soft spot for her she's my daughter now my mental tier list on my favorite characters is so confusing right now
#re:kinder#fanart#aya re:kinder#aya hibino#i state shes my daughter NOW because before i didnt pay too big of a mind to her#but honestly in each different playthrough of this game i gain new appreciation for each character#because fun fact ryou was my favorite character at first just because he seemed nice and was a healer and was nice#second playthrough brought in rei and shunsuke in my mind because they ate it up wirh their roles in the story#meanwhile as time passed yuuichi started to grow on me as i realized he was a little too relatable BASICALLY THINGS LIKE THAT#and spoilers for the unspecified project mentioned in the text just because i feel like it#i also did this because having a transcript of every line just spurred me on becquse of how easy it made things#its much more fun to start doing these kind of line based doodles when you dont have to manually go througj hours of gameplay to find stuff#so just being ablr to ctrl f through a document made me very glad HEUEHEHEBEHR#im still working on it it needs proofreading and polishing on some sides but overall it should be here soon i hope#if anyones interested in it do let me know HUEHEHEBRB i will post it regardless but it would be nice to know if anyone is interested#ANYWAY#as to why Aya seems to have a purse when her sprite doesnt its because her equipment mentions her carrying a yellow pouch#its meant to be that!!!#she looks very goofy with it on made me giggle ngl#(as in. amusement)#it adds more interest to her visual design so its nice to have it there im glad its there#OH YEAH SOME COMMENTARY ON ONE OF HER LINES HERE THAT REALLY PIQUED MY INTEREST#if sayaka dies and shes there to see it (thus. you chose to bring her with you) she has this line#where it implies that shes afraid of dying which makes things sad when she's suicidal#she already states i think her desire is more to disappear than to die exactly but even then it's quite sad#like even if she wants to disappear with how gloomy she's feeling and all the things going around with her parents#shes just a little girl who doesn't want to die😭😭#it really adds a sense of realism to how depression is tackled in game at least for me#that when one is depressed and suicidal a lot of the time it's the wish for this state of suffering to end rather than to actually die#SUCH A GOOD CHARACTER ITS ONE OF THE THINGS THAT UPPED MY APPRECIATION FOR HER
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ganondoodle · 6 months ago
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been wondering so im making a poll
added that i mean when its either neutral, like an extra explanation when soemthing wasnt clear or you asked a question in the tags, or in a positive way, like an observation you made im happy about or an idea (i wouldnt even consider saying someones name when i mean it negatively- even then i rarely talk about these things bc i usually just ignore it unless its something that gets to me personally/is so bad it needs to be mentioned)
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just-a-lonelypenguin · 1 year ago
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a tiny little zine inspired by @koddlet’s how-to! (i love your zines, they’re so fun and inspiring!) i first just folded it out of a sticky note for fun and put it in my pocket thinking “i’ll fill this in later when i have an idea” and then i looked outside and it was so. fucken dark. and here we are :) i really loved treating it as an exercise in “draw whatever comes to mind, let it be as shitty as possible, just try something” — drawing isn’t something i think of as my strong suit but little doodles sure are fun!
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welcometogrouchland · 2 years ago
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[ID: three digital illustrations based on episodes of the owl house. The first image is based on Understanding Willow and features Amity and Inner Willow. Amity looks at Inner Willow regretfully, holding a hand to her chest, as Inner Willow stands surrounded by pink fire, yelling at Amity with steam coming from her eyes. Lyrics are written crookedly across the background: "I'm not here for your entertainment/your the kinda guy that likes some fun/am I just here for a bit of amusement?/you'll never be my NUMBER 1!!!".
The second image is based off For the Future and features Willow and Hunter. Hunter hugs willow, his face obscured, as she sobs and vines glow green around them both. The lyrics this time are written more neatly in the middle of the image and read "are you bored?/or are you scared?/what happened to secrets we shared?/ Did I say something/? Have I crossed the line?/you know I never meant it/when I said I was FINE!".
The final image is both drawings on one canvas with no lyrics. Each image has a dark blue background. End ID]
Thinks about Willow's repressed emotions and eats glass. Cutely (song is Con Man by The Tuts!)
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king-crawler · 1 year ago
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@servonium for some reason I missed your tags earlier but Oh my God.
I’VE NEVER ACTUALLY THOUGHT ABOUT THE IMPLICATION THAT TURBO SPED ACROSS GAME CENTRAL STATION AND THEN THROUGH THE CORD TUNNEL WITH HIS CAR!!??
First off. INSANE visual
Perhaps it was similar to how Ralph’s hijacked spaceship flew everywhere in GCS except it’s Turbo in his racecar screaming OUT OF MY WAY!!!! And clouding up dust everywhere .. and then characters are like. Was that Turbo ?? Oh no…
But It would be SO COOL to see that event play out real-time in the game world instead. Cuz the flashback is Highly Condensed. Did it really all happen at once? Probably not, maybe over the course of a day or two ..? But I find it so interesting that the sequence is all from the perspective of the outside world… there’s just something about that that presentation that made him all the more mysterious and unnerving.
(It was also probably to prevent spoiling what his 3D model looks like but Yeah)
Also some more speculating ..
Do you think he was able to get out of that Terrible Fiasco he caused because running into the other racer corrupted them both into Glitches ? The Roadblasters guy was probably corrupted too badly.. but maybe Turbo somehow glitched out to escape and then tried to alter his code to repair himself- Maybe in some old debug menu where nobody would notice. Maybe THAT’S where he realized he could code himself into whatever he wanted.
FOR BEING A MAIN VILLAIN (twist villain to be fair. But Still .) THERE SURE IS A LOT OF MYSTERY AROUND HIM.. but maybe if we knew more he wouldn’t have been as mysterious and the twist wouldn’t have worked . BUT I NEED ANSWERS!!!!!!!!???
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thelunaticghost · 1 year ago
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xvn fic recs !!
i have been meaning to do this for a while : mostly because fic recs are fun to compile and also thee seems to be a BIG shortage of any fic rec posts!! so here are some fics i have enjoyed over the years!! ofc this list is non exhaustive please note the ratings of each fic and heed the tags before reading! sorry, that i am putting in the shorter summary
anyway!! feel free to put in more fic recs too!! :D
End OTW Racism | over the edge of all our knowings by merthurlin [ G, 10,146 words , 1/1 ]
Years down the line, after the whole business with Lumine and her brother has been concluded, Venti decides to go on a world tour. He sends Xiao letters.
merthurlin got me into xiaoven so ofc my list starts with her fic! this is just so so sweet and even if its not necessarily fluffy there is a warmth to the writing it is a comfort read for me! i recommend every work by her (regardless of fandom). though in xvn End OTW racism | never dreamed of nobody like you is another excellent fic!
nocturne by yanrans [ T, 34,540 words, 4/4 ]
In which Venti sells magical music boxes, Xiao is his unwitting customer, and there is absolutely, definitely nothing more to it at all.
modern au where venti is - a scammer? - i mean a music box seller and xiao is just a regular guy and and. its funny and delightful and absolutely breath taking. i wouldnt elaborate more so as not to spoil anything further but the fic has many unexpected surprises in it! yanrans is another writer i definitely recommend to check out more! their writing style is very flamboyant and poetic.
what hides in neon shadow by morii_tea [ T, 7,547 words, 1/1 ]
In which Xiao is a cyborg, Venti is a thief, and the glittering city of Teyvat hides more secrets than they’re prepared to find out.
its so rare to see morally grey venti is potrayed (even though he isnt v morally grey but still. xiao having to remembering that venti isnt as honourable as he appears is yesssss wohoo). this fic has some thrilling action and a v fun cyberpunk world!! i wish it was longer but it is v exciting nevertheless
every morning in the dark by magicites [ M, 77,124 words, 34/34 ]
Stuck in a time loop where he succumbs to his karmic debt, Xiao struggles to see the point in moving forward. Venti struggles to save him.
READ THE TAGS!!! character death and suicidal thoughts are two major warnings. but DAMN this fic it's just so. SO FULL of everything WRONG with xiao!! and venti too but such a GREAT angst fic!! it gets everything so Right. magicites also happened to have written one of my most favourite genshin fic too :] and if you havent read her other works!! you are missing out!!
the half-life of the yaksha is absolute by GStK [ G, 1,000 words, 1/1 ]
Venti digs his thumbs in to keep open the wound but it is too late His gaze snaps over to the teal essence dancing over Xiao’s fingers. Now all those words will belong to him And Venti will belong to him, only.
READ THE TAGS!! now that i have went into the time loop fic ofc i have to mention the beautiful corrupt xiao prose. the imagery is flowery and grotesque!
foreigner's god by smallghosts [ T, 3,818 words, 1/1 ]
Lord Barbatos falls asleep for a few hundred years. Xiao copes with his absence in strange ways.
a pre-canon fic where xiao becomes - in a way - a worshipper? it's SO GOOD. its about the yearning!!!!!!!!! SCREAMS i dont think i have to explain further
love me like you do by Limerancy [ T, 3,000 words, 1/1 ]
They aren’t the kind of friends that touch.
TOUCH STARVED AND TOUCH AVERSE XIAO!!!!!! this fic makes me a lil bit feral. a little unhinged. i absolutely enjoy reading about the yearning , the desire JUST!!!! AAAA. this writer also writes v fluffy modern au one shots!!! so be sure to check them out too :)
The Kissing Tree by Princeliest [ G, 7,581 words, 2/2 ]
Venti kisses Xiao, and Xiao does not understand why.
VENTI COMMITMENT ISSUES!!!!! as much as i adore reading xiao angst, venti angst is still something i love seeking out and its a tragedy that its not explored enough in this ship :c but anyway!!! such amazing characterization and exploration!! princeliest is one of fav genshin writers and this fic delivers!
wishing on dandelions all of the time by OedipusOctopus [ T, 8,270 words, 1/1 ]
When Venti first catches sight of the swords artfully hung on the wall of his new roommate's bedroom, he regrets putting up the sublease on Craigslist. Firmly believing this guy is a total weirdo, Venti is more surprised than anyone when he realizes the total weirdo is actually adorable. It's not against some invisible Roommate Code to dream about kissing your roommate, right?
ofc there is a classic roommate au fic!! this was one of my most favourite fic from last years xvn week: its hilarious and silly and just a perfect relaxing read!! the characterization and their banter is so entertaining i admit i have read this multiple times!
Where Words Fail by kavvueh [ T, 27,926 words, 11/12 ]
"You're Barbatos," Xiao repeats breathlessly. The young man in front of him nods. "Yep." "But..." Xiao cuts himself off and tries again. "You're the God of songs and poetry." The Anemo Archon nods his head sagely. "More or less." Xiao fixes Lord Barbatos with the most incredulous look he can manage. "... You're failing Music Theory."
this fic is such a delight!! it has some light background lore, some silly shenanigans, miscommunications, pinning - a truly fun mixture! the fic is v light hearted but written with a lot of tenderness. i am v excited to see its conclusion!
what queer sins stain thy soul by Anonymous [ M, 3,232 words, 1/1 ]
In which Xiao, long-established asexual, learns that identity is not as stable as he’d like to believe.
there is some explicit things in it (in non explicit way) i believe religious guilt is one of the best flavouring to xvn. it is an under-explored area in this ship imo and this fic not only has that but also!!! asexuality !!!!!! this fic so so personal and its exploration of desire that gets to me a lot
unholy virtues by morphasia [ E, 17,065 words, 6/6 ]
In exchange for his body in more ways than one, Venti summons a demon to reclaim something that has been stolen from him. It's a just contract. That's all it's supposed to be. That's all it was ever supposed to be.
READ THE TAGS!!! this fic truly went creature/creature. this au is just so fascinating and funny in a twisted way (but not bad). this fic isnt for everyone though but it is definitely worth the shot.
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good-beanswrites · 8 months ago
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Okay, kyanako said that I can ask for a director's commentary on the fic you wrote for me.
Is there anything you’d like to share about writing this fic? Any thoughts during the writing? Maybe any questions for me?
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Not you too 😭😭😭 Haha, but thank you for the option to ask you questions, because I actually do have a few! My normal commentary is in pink, but I put questions in blue :) Some of them are specifics about your characters, but I also just want to hear your takes on writing Es 👀 I don't write them super often, so I'm curious how you characterize them...
Es clutched at their head. Their fingers tore through their hair. It was the middle of the night, so they resisted the urge to shout. They didn’t want to draw any attention to themself. If they remained completely silent, though, they wouldn’t need to refrain from crying.
And so they cried.
I wanted to start off right away by setting the theme of Es experiencing the typical pain of a child in their position, but refusing to be treated like the are.
You see, there is only one sensation worse than waking up from an awful dream: waking up from a very, very, good one. 
I'm kind of relying on readers understanding this feeling already, I didn't really know how to put it into words 😅 (Is this common for people?) It's happened to me several times, and it genuinely can hit harder than a nightmare.
Es had grown accustomed to the nightmares that Milgram produced. In these dreams, Es might take the place of the prisoners. Their stomach would twist with horror at the blood on their hands. Other times, they found themselves in the victim’s shoes. They’d wake in a cold sweat, feeling hands closing around their throat, or weapons swung at their temple. 
I feel like a lot of fics (rightfully) focus on all the messed up things Es experiences on a daily basis, like this. I'm usually more upset by their canon lack of interest in their past and future. Their refusal to miss/hope for anything better is really what hurts me, and it took a while to figure out what may push them to the point of finally acknowledging it. I thought a dream was a good start. When you picture them, are they wondering about their identity a lot? Would certain things be enough to jog their memory, or do only extreme situations get through to them?
But they weren’t prepared for a dream of absolute peace. They were happy. They were laughing. There were people nearby, smiling. It was all emotion and no detail – not a single face, place, or voice, was clear – but they knew for sure what the dream had consisted of.
Es was with their family. 
I debated so long on naming specifics about what they saw, whether it was glimpses of your characters or small lines of dialogue... I still hadn't decided if I wanted the dream to be a real memory or just their imagination, though, so I kept it up to interpretation. (Also, I was so afraid of getting something wrong about who they'd be close to or how they'd react in your mind 😭 "he wouldn't fucking say that" fr). In an early draft of this, Es had fallen asleep while cataloguing the prisoners' family members, and dreamed that they were a part of some of those families. It wasn't as effective as I'd hoped, so I got right to the point and made it their own family here.
So uh, I guess, what would they dream about if it were 100% accurate to their real family? I also thought about making the dream a vision sent from them to communicate a message -- is this something that a family member could/would do? And which relative is Es closest to? I've heard you talk more about their father, but I wasn't sure if that necessarily meant they were the closest. (I wanted to make a more specific parallel with one of the prisoners. I'd pair them with Amane if they were close with their father, Haruka if it was their mother, Mikoto if it was a sibling. Since I wasn't sure, I thought Haruka was a safe bet.)
They choked out another sob. 
For the longest time, they wondered if they even had a past to remember. But that was all foolishness – Milgram was in the business of judging humans, not creating them out of thin air. They’d tried asking Jackalope, once. He turned out just as cryptic as some of the prisoners in their interrogations. Another time, they had considered using the prison’s mysterious machine on themself. There was no way to operate it alone, though. And when it came down to it, they were always alone.
Yeah. So. I made myself upset realizing the isolation Es feels :((( They're at Jackalope's mercy as much as the prisoners are, but they can never truly bond with the others over it. They're different from the prisoners, but they don't even have that much power over them (only responsibility). I thought about including an actual attempt to use the machine without someone watching over them, and what a risk that would be. It ended up taking the story way off-focus, but I wonder what could actually drive them to the point of doing something dangerous in the name of getting memories back, or would they always be accepting of the situation, given their personality?
They curled themself tight, dragging the bedsheets with them. Usually when they wondered about their past, mere curiosity washed over them. Now, they were flooded with an entirely new type of longing. It filled their chest. No, that wasn't it. Rather, the feeling left a wide hole through them.
I'm glad you thought the curling up was cute ;--; I just wanted the reader to remember how young and small they are ;----; I was sad writing this and needed everyone to remember along with me 😭
If they did have a family, had Es been stolen away? Could there be someone else out there right now, crying in the middle of the night, just as hard as Es was crying for them? The thought was not comforting.
Or, like Es, had they forgotten all traces of their connection? That possibility also did more harm than good.
Es tried to reassure themself – if this family hadn’t come looking for them, maybe it meant they weren't wanted in the first place. Maybe Es had been willingly turned over to Milgram, their parents glad to be rid of them.
That thought didn't help at all.
I had a lot of fun evilly choosing the most painful possibilities for Es to consider >:3 (<- SHE'S LYING SHE MADE HERSELF CRY). The uncertainty would hurt any any reader, but as my target, I hoped to pinpoint some exact things you'd mentioned in the past. I was picturing the art of Es' father hunting Milgram down, and some of your comments about them remembering and missing Es.
Something clattered out in the corridor. That must have been what woke them. They rose from bed, ready to raise hell. How dare one of the prisoners rip them from such a dream. Es could never return. The offender would pay for this. 
It took only a moment to put on their uniform and wipe the tears from their cheeks. They swung the door open to find Haruka stumbling down the hall. 
I'm always a sucker for the uniform being a symbol of Es' obsession with their role -- putting it on is the same as them putting up an act, even if they don't quite realize it.
“Prisoner number one, what the –” they grabbed his arm. Only then did they notice the dazed look in his eyes. His body flinched, waking from what must have been sleepwalking.
“Ah! W-warden!” He blinked, his mind still stuck somewhere else. “I’m s-sorry! What, ah… I was dreaming... She was – she was right here…”
After this part I tried ending the drabble with Haruka saying, "I was dreaming," and Es replying bitterly, "me too." Haruka then says, "it was about my family," and much quieter, Es repeats "me too." As much as I loved the exchange, I wanted the gut-wrenching pain of Es rejecting their family rather than missing them at the very end 😎👍
Es took a measured breath. They steeled their expression. There would be no unleashing hell tonight. They had lost sight of their role. They had gotten distracted with childish emotions and silly dreams. They were Milgram’s warden, not some kid like Haruka who wandered around the prison late at night looking for his mama. 
Es adjusted the hat over their hair. It was good, they told themself, that they couldn't remember a thing from the dream. They didn't need any of those people. They were perfectly fine on their own. Such a distraction would not happen again.
I had to mention the uniform hat again because I'm just too obsessed with the symbolism asdfsdfs. And yeah, like you said, all of this was an attempt to convince themself. They don't really believe it, but they have to make themself believe it, or else they'll be in even more pain...
“Let’s get you back to bed.”
“But, my p-parents, they were–”
“They’re not here. Nobody is. Back to your cell, prisoner.”
Of course "they're not here" is reflecting Es and Haruka both missing their parents, but I hoped the last line would also continue the parallels between them -- at the end of the night, Es is a prisoner here too :(
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in-toxi-cant · 4 days ago
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Plotting angst in the DMs be like—
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Meanwhile, actual muse reaction would be more like—
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yeet-noir · 2 years ago
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People stop adding comments to people who are posting about currently released episodes with you alluding or teasing leaks. If it sounds like the original poster is oblivious to them chances are they are and are purposely avoiding them.
Yes this means OP speculating about the future episodes. Doesn’t mean they are asking for people to confirm or deny what they are saying. You may think it’s funny but it’s not keep it to yourself or the an inner circle who is also in the known.
You made a choice to read leaks, but not everybody so stop it’s getting annoying at this point. I know some people have no malicious intent with this, but you need to understand leaks are stuff people may want to avoid because they want to watch the show as intended.
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