#just trying different shit to see what happens and idk

[xxcrumbxx]

Long ass rant and open talk about the subject

Yep yep yep . It just harm full eather youre telling someone thet there trama isnt valid bc its not the same thing you whent through or youre telling someone not to talk about theres becuse its harder to listen to. All trama is vallied,no one can tell you its stupid or not worth crying about. Sometimes the trama is more saver but thats not a medal and dusent make it more inportent then the less savere. Tragady is tragady and healing looks different for everyone. I do think its okay to talk about more and less savere tho bc trama is a spectrum and its importent fir people to know thet just becuse its more savere dusent mean they cant ir shouldent talk about it, i have the same urge to protect people from my trama bc well its a ugly thing but its still a thing that needs to be held and i feel like if ppl get there more savere storys out it could help ppl with less savere feel less like a freck and alone an show them that there not a crybaby . I feel like ppl with less savere. Trama are told not to talk about it bc no one cares or becuse everyone gose threw it or what ever bull shit resion and i feel like they should gwt a chance to speek they have just as mutch right to there story as anyone else. For me my less savere trama is that i was in a non fatle car accsadent only the car was damiged but it still really scared me and i think about it every time i get in a car now . Sometimes what couldove happend is scarryer then what did ant thats okay. And people with more suvere trama need to acknolige there not bad people for having bad things happen to them and for talking about it ,i remimber talking to some people about things that have happend in owr lives and kinda tramma bounding so i finnaly spoke up about some stuff and every one got uncomefterbull and mad at me tellinv me i was being mean and toxic bc of the trama i shared they vewed it as trying to commpet when i was trying to connect and i feel like thats what stops a lot of people from shareing there hever stuff even in open and welcoming places where its sapose to be incuriged where youre sapose to talk about it but then you do and suddenly you dont fit into there orepland box of "exceptabul to talk about tramma" qhitch isent fair all tramma is valid be it youre parents getting a devorse even tho common is a nasty and hart braking as well as life changing thing , or watching a loved one die in hoapise agin common but still harrowing or being abused heavaly growing up ,haveing less then outhers idk why people dont talk about it ( probly bc of the hole scoshial construct arond being gratefull)but being poor is tramatizeing not just bc of food lack but as well as seeing outher kid with what you want seeing all these things you want but can never have and seeing people with those things be so careless with them becuse they can just get anouther its hard to grow up poor not just bc of food and safty but becuse youre told by youre peers therw acctions or bulliying that becuse you get youre close from somewhere else or dont have the things they have or have poor hiygean bc youre famaly couldent pay the water bill ,youre told youre lesser then and should be ashaned whitch is a harsh thing to heare and can change someone for ever . Of corse more hard to talk about topics like TW

Sa ,molestashion ,phisical ,emotcinal abuse neglect ,life threataning events ,witnessing the phisical abbuse of famaly mimbers,losseng fammaly due to violince or medical issuse, involintary mental hispital stays ( irronicly) exctram iscolatshion and so mutch more

Of corse those are hard to talk about and can change youre numerological pathways or leave you emotshinoly stunted these are the tramas im refuring to when i say more savere i dont mean it as a way of saying all else are invaled when compaird i just mean they are shuned in a different way and offten chose alot of miental disorders less ssavere trammas like scoshiol and economic like TW

Devorce,absent parents ,lack of wants ,non phisicoly aggresive bullying, moveing homes abruptly or ingeneral, loss of famaly member due to old age,and so mutch more

What i think hammers in the point of commoarision being useless is i had a hard time fully desiforing the difference between savere and less saver tramma becuse well there s so minny gray areas and yah yah you can put it as "more savere trama leads to nurolojical and mental helth isuse" and "less savere tramma leads to scoshiol and familliol isuse " or what have you but its not that cut in dry like what do you mean scoshiol issuse ?? Luke they have anxiety now. Whell gess what taht means it gave them nerolajicol isues and mental helth isuse. Okay so they have trust isuse bc there parents lied to them alot ? Whell now there scoshiol structure is imbalinced and a hole outher slew of things come from it . Okay okay they have an absent father so do soo minny outhers what so bad and tramatizing about that ? Well now they dont have a trust worthy male figure in there life whitch can leed to being scared or general anxiety about men ,wemon (heare in the us ,like a comon american idk about outher places besides the midal eayst whitch i have no right to talk about bc of the sheer amout of propaganda im not a reliabule narrarator i hold no hate just ingnorince and i dont wanna be rude or assume hurtfull things due to sheer ingnerince) anyway get paid mire so they probly grew up poor with a single mouther working multibule jods becuse minamum wage cant even keep one persion happy and well taken care of so there mouthers probly streesed and stress makes people earatubule and lash out so shes probly bone or said some hurtull things so now they may have an absent father and destent mouther and maby even one wuth a drug problum . Any waylong ass exscampule but like yall get what im saying ,thaings come with so minny unmeserabule and unknown layers to compair tramma is to compair the ocean to the milky way, one feels more knowabule then the outher but bouth are so vast and all incompasing and neather are fully known or may ever be so not only is it harmuff is just plain imposabule excpeshaly becuse ower mental helth science is liemeted and beond sciense its all verry persinal and just .. Dont do it ,i bib when i was younger becuse well 1 i didnt understand what i was doing i thought the outher persion had an ojectivly better. Life them me bc little kid logic and 2 im not shure why but i felt like if i whent trew "worse" it would make me feel better like yah shure this is all awfill and will hauant me for a verry long time and ill continue to struggle with it BUT. If its worse it was real and im not a lier and its okay to cry about it. Useig trama as a tool to justafie being trammatized is not the way to go yall. I tight was a verry stupid thing to do and i regrett it deeply bu tight i cant change that. Ik outheres have done it aswell and i promise it dusent make you a bad persion ,we've all lernd and grown no need to stuff youre self in a shadow thats to small.trh not to have shame for it . Hold youre youngerselfs hand and walk them threw what youve lernd let youre self know its okay ,you are valid ,youre not a spoild brat for crying you wher a kid and stil lol may be one even if only on the inside . No worrys hun it will be okay and if not well well just have to pick are self back up agin and find the curige to start over . Atlest this time we know a little bit about what were doing and have a idea of how to get there. No one should be left behind, its importent to speek up for are selves and outhers but keep youre tone in check don tight wanna yell over anyone. Thats rude little love :]]

Sometimes im jellus of my younger sibblings becuse they have it eayser then me ( with in the home) and then i remiember all the work it took to get us heare and im sooo proud it ends with me ,the chain of generatshinal abuse ebds with me im the last The last one to purge and get rid ofandwork threw all of it its so cathartic and hartbraking but this is it i do it for them the younger and the older my anscesters and my grandchilderen its for them i am the last and its sutch a horrowing and paunfull honor im proud of my names and my anscesters im soo proud of them the more i kurn the more im gratefull, im a 6th genneratshion immogrent from france my fammaly was on the run from the cathlic church they refused to fall in line they where artest shoe makers hat makers. They worked with silver they use to be royals they where linched prosacuted as heratics some old tortcher devises where used and i think i love them for. It i love that they refuse to hold there toung and to biw there head i love that there artist like me and plenty of my liveing famaly,its nice knoweing i have a reble spark from them that im not alone in my desiers and im still so mutch like them even centures from the time they walked with the birds . I just hate i only know them by the word used to try and hurt them

The huginots :] ofc they decided to reclam it and stuff but still i know so little about them but alot as well my grunchle has picturse of documents of my grate grate grand paw and his wife requesting safty in a church both in amar INI can English and frinch ik that the fammaly was on the run long befor then i also know that i have indginus cusions whitch id love to meet i dont kniw them but i can feel it in a wierd way. Its odd and hard to talk about but i can feel it bouth and all of them i can feel my frinch ancestors as well as my indeganos and irish ones. Im verry pail tho and theres always a wierd shame that comes with it. Im the product of there downfall and it hurts . ANYWAYYY

Haha its okay its alll good. Im the last and its awsome to know no one else will suffer like this

Someone drowning in 6 feet of water is as equally dead as a person drowning in 20 feet of water.

Please stop comparing trauma and making it a challenge. It’s trauma. Not a competition or medal.

[slytherinboysvip]

soooo like idk if u write angst. But from ur page i feel like u would be good at it. Maybe like a theo x slytherin!reader who like gets bullied by them and it’s kinda unrequited love and one day she gets entirely done with them and doesn’t leave her room for a while because something happened. Then classic theodore nott goes for a smoke seeing her alone in the courtyard or something and feels a little bad and they talk and he realizes how much of a dick him and his friends are because reader “is so done with all the shit” and plans to try and leave

bully theo nott x slytherin reader

angst

not exactly sure what to title this one but i hope it’s enjoyable, i don’t do angst much but it’s so much funnn

𓆙

while going to hogwarts seemed to have been most young wizards escape, you unfortunately didn’t have the luxury of seeing it that way. ever since you’ve started at hogwarts and were sorted into slytherin you haven’t had such an easy time. granted now that you’re a 6th year you have a few friends, however one thing stayed the same since you’ve started; you were constantly bullied by the most popular of the slytherins.

you genuinely didn’t understand what made them dislike you so much, you didn’t agree with their pureblood praises though you were a pureblood yourself. maybe it could’ve been the fact that you weren’t necessarily the richest, coming from a lower class wizarding bloodline nobody knew of your family and simply getting the money together for your school supplies was often a challenge.

you tried everything you could to drown out any bullying, trying your best not to let any of it effect you or your studies. unfortunately due to you also being a slytherin not even your common room was an escape for you.

walking out your dorm as quietly as possible you held a book tight to your chest tiptoeing down the stairs making your way to a secluded chair, you sat down in front of the low fire and read to yourself silently for a few minutes before hearing laughter echoing from down the hall muffled voices becoming clearer and clearer.

trying to ignore the voices you regrettably recognized you kept your head down and in your book, not even reading the words simply trying to keep your breath at an even pace. “mate is that y/n” said a muffled voice. not looking up you closed your eyes tightly really hoping to be left alone. you had hoped coming down at one in the morning would give your freedom, not anxiety.

before you could process it there were footsteps heading towards you and a flick on your forehead “are you that dumb that you can’t even read a book, i mean don’t know your eyes have to be open for that” mattheo laughed at his own joke elbowing theo who was egging him on chuckling himself. “don’t touch me.” you gritted through your teeth still sitting looking at both of the mocking boys.

you attempted to get up and rush off to your dorm but mattheo grabbed your arm “you didn’t answer my question, that’s soo rude” he mocked still gripping your left wrist. “let me go” you protested struggling to get your arm free as theodore watched snickering. “alright let her go i’m trying to smoke” theo huffed snatching the back of mattheos jacket and dragging him along.

a large breath you had no idea you were holding onto fell out of your mouth the second they were gone. you plopped right back down into the cold leather chair and silently sobbed. so many thoughts ran through your head about how differently you should’ve handled the situation, how you should’ve shoved him harder, maybe you should’ve screamed, maybe if you just knew how to stand up for yourself. maybe you were stupid?

everything these boys did effected you so much to the point you became a shell of the person you were. your grades weren’t the worst, but the more the boys would mock, the more they’d tell you how dumb you were that you were a lost cause, you unfortunately began to believe it even if you didn’t admit it to them directly. never giving them the satisfaction of seeing you break down, never letting them know how it effects you.

“i think you might need a jumpscare warning, next time don’t come to class if you wake up like that” draco mocked giving you a disgusted look the second you sat down on the end of the slytherin table. a small eruption of laughter fell from all of the boys and their little follower pansy parkinson. “you guys have no clue i swear this morning her eyes were so swollen she looked like she got stung by a bee” she snickered trying to gain the boys attention.

not wanting to deal with this today you got up and walked out of the great hall not looking back. you didn’t feel like you had the mental capacity to deal with them and so you made your way to the only place you knew you could breathe.

you made sure to watch out for any oncoming professors and for filtch, knowing you’re not supposed to be out on the astronomy tower at this time of day or year. the walk was as long as ever and luckily most of the halls were empty besides a few students making their way to the great hall.

finally reaching the million stairs you made your way up to the tower slowly walking up taking your time. you began to think about everything these people put you through, thinking about how much everything they do makes you hate yourself and this school more and more everyday.

not a day went by that you weren’t picked on at least once by one of them, this realization and sad reality made a stream of tears fall down your face as your legs walked up the stairs starring down onto the wooden steps.

just as you were beginning to reach the top of the steps you quietly sniffed smelling an odd odor. you couldn’t quite put your finger on what you were smelling but you continued till you were at the ledge of the astronomy tower sitting down. you sat looking out towards the clouds covering the sun and tried to control your breathing and stream of tears.

once your tears began to dry up you noticed a thick trail of smoke coming from the right of you. you looked behind you and there stood theodore nott. he walked over cautiously, and here you were coming face to face with someone you definitely did not want to see. “ah, y/n what brings you here” he spoke taking a drag of what appeared to be a cigarette. you didn’t know wether to answer or just leave but you spoke out cautiously “attempting to get away from you and your goons” you huffed turning back around to face the clouds.

“come on, you know i don’t bite” he chuckled and you just shook your head in annoyance looking back up at him, “you don’t bite yet you’ve bullied me for over six years makes perfect sense theodore” you rolled your eyes standing up to face him. “seriously.-“ he scoffed “you know i’m like the least brutal of them i don’t even touch you” he added taking another drag. it was almost as if he was mocking you even more without even realizing it.

“i don’t care if you think that just because you don’t fucking touch me that it makes it okay?? you watch your friends bully, touch, and harass me nearly everyday what about that makes you any less of an awful person than them.” you let it all out with more emotion that intended yet the small tears coming out were nothing but anger induced.

“listen y/n i didn’t think it affected you that bad we make fun of so many people” he shrugged scratching the back of his head not sure how to react to your outburst of emotions. “that’s your problem, you don’t ever realize that you’re bullying your own housemate. you and those fuckers haven’t left me alone since year one and for what? all because i stood up to a fucking bleach blonde bitch? like seriously you take orders from a daddy’s boy and a guy who’s practically an orphan.” your voice was getting louder and louder, soon enough you were face to face with him just yelling.

“look y/n im sorry okay i swear, i don’t like doing it alright why do you think i never touch you i try to get these fucking assholes to leave you alone you’re just an easy target to them” he tried pleading with you but you weren’t having any of it. “what makes you think i’ll believe you?” you scoffed “you’re trying to excuse yourself all because i stood up for myself?? and what exactly do you do to get them to leave me alone because that obviously isn’t working” your tears dried back up and now just pure anger was holding you together.

“you see when i tell them just to come on, and most times they just say something to you and don’t even touch you.” he was searching your face but your expression stayed the same “have you ever heard of telling them to just stop? and what about me seems like an easy fucking target” you didn’t know what to even ask of him anymore not even understanding yourself why you were still standing here.

“y/n come on.” he looked at you but you didn’t budge just awaiting his response. “you said it yourself you stood up to malfoy, he didn’t like that so it started it. listen overtime it got more than that i guess matt went at you cause your grades are- were better than his . and well pansy goes after you because you’re hotter than her, blaise just goes along, and enzo does whatever enzo does.” he shrugged attempting to explain this twisted reasoning.

“well why do you go after me? because all of this shit seems so unserious for all of you to make me want to leave hogwarts and even this world all together.” you scoffed still heated at these other absurd reasons. he looked at you for a moment contemplating before he sighed “look i really am sorry i didn’t know it was that bad” he pleaded ignoring your question.

“i don’t care if you’re sorry or not that doesn’t take back all of these years theodore. and besides you don’t even have the fucking balls to tell me why you bully me so obviously you don’t feel sorry” you began walking away from him and he reached out grabbing your arm “y/n i just told you so many times i tried getting them to stop, look i don’t know why and i don’t expect you to feel the same but i just over the years ive wanted you more and more and look i just knew i couldn’t ever have you.” he loooked away yet still held onto your arm.

you stood there almost in shock. here you were complaining about everything your bullies put you through to one of those said bullies, and he confessed his crush on you. you didn’t respond just staring at him. “what.” you managed to let out. “i know it’s insane.” he sighed “look i don’t expect you to forgive me but i’ll try and get them to back off.” he spoke up letting go of your arm and walking off.

you didn’t follow or speak up to him, just allowing him to make his way back wherever he came from. sitting back down at the railing you took a deep breath trying to piece together what exactly just happened.

i’m not sure if this is good enough to match what was asked but i hope so😭

[shegoesbyjoy]

the other side of oblivion

ya girl is back at it again with another DE fic ✌️ 4,528 words, pretty heavy angst (with an uplifting conclusion), and features a healthy sprinkling of some of my favourite quotes from the game.

this was written rather obsessively over the course of 2 days, most of which fell in the early hours of the morning because i apparently Do Not Know how to maintain a proper sleep schedule when i'm inspired to write. bit of a different format than the usual as well, which was fun to try it out!

as always, love to hear your thoughts if you read it (tysm for reading regardless 💖), share if you'd like, and hope you enjoy :)

[j-esbian]

i lost the post but i saw someone talking about how some of y’all act like being weird is a choice and like. YEAHHHHHHH.

that’s fine, it might be for you. but i just live like this and don’t know any other way. like yeah i’ve worked customer service, i can do innocuous small talk, but anything beyond that, i don’t understand what i’m missing. and it’s frustrating to see the tonal disconnect especially from people who are like “uwu embrace weirdness!!” where they’re like. dressing quirky and talking about bugs and listening to obscure music and eschewing small talk to ask Deep Questions on the first date and unlearning their tendency to not infodump. and generally have an idea of what Weirdness is supposed to look like. idk man some of us wake up and get out of bed and can’t figure out why the rest of their coworkers chitchat with each other but when they join the conversation it dies.

weirdness is value neutral. let’s stop trying to turn it into a badge because quite frankly, it’s not a choice for everyone. it’s fucking exhausting to never be on the same wavelength as other people and they’re going to react the way they do and label you the way they will without any conscious actions on your end. it’s difficult to talk about this without feeling like you’ll be dismissed as immature, a teenager whining “no one understands me” but the thing is. sometimes you don’t grow out of feeling alone and different, and there’s no good way to talk about it without feeling like people will think you’re just fishing for pity.

[incesthemes]

hey girlie it’s me, sam winchesters gay lover, your mootie 🥰🥰🥰 i just wanted to let you know, that your tags on the post about that wincest video are based and i agree with every word, hashtag slay couldn’t agree more i loved reading your essay in those tags heart ❤️

omg thank you!!! i'm basically only capable of talking in essays whether people want me to or not, unfortunately

i just have a lot of feelings on this topic and the whole "canon or not canon" argument is weird to me; the themes are pretty darn clear in supernatural (it is NOT known for its subtlety) so idk man. they don't have to kiss to be canon. and they don't have to have a romantic relationship to be canon either. how many times do they get into relationships with other people only for it to be treated as cheating/betrayal/abandonment, only for them have to give up that relationship in order to reaffirm their devotion to their brother

that's just what the text says. i'm not under any kind of delusion that they have some secret sexual or romantic relationship, but that doesn't change that sam and dean are each other's most important person regardless of that. which is really awesome imo, that romance isn't treated as more important than whatever horrible thing they have with each other, and that they don't have to consummate their relationship with romance/sex in order for it to be the most important one they have

(and of course there's romantic/sexual subtext, like parallels and metaphors and misunderstandings and jokes, but to me that just provides a solid foundation for presenting this relationship between them as the most important even though it's not romantic or sexual—because this language of romance is the only one we know, really, when it comes to writing important relationships between characters. it's the only one we know in our own personal lives, to a large extent. so you use the romance/sexuality to symbolize the actual bond they have. which is so much worse lmao)

anyway i think spn is fairly unique in this way because of how no other relationships can really ever stand parallel to the one they share; even in other shows that center male friendship, romance is allowed to coexist with brotherhood. for sam and dean, it's not, and that becomes a point of tension and conflict and resolution many, many times over the course of the show. so like yeah!!! just because it's not romantic or sexual doesn't mean it's not canon, in the sense that their relationship is the point of the show, and it is the most important relationship they have. they chose each other above all else, every single time. yknow, it's "the epic love story of sam and dean" and all that

[toytulini]

it is baffling to me that ppl keep insisting "if its not sprite then what IS it tho?" and seemingly do not...retain the recipes that are being shared. like you dont have to memorize them its just repeatedly "is lemonade not sprite though? how is it not sprite?"

"its lemon juice, water, and sugar"

"is it not the same as sprite?" no we just told u. does that sound like sprite to you. does sprite give you the vibe of juicing some lemons on a hot summer day? the lemonade version closest to Sprite over here, in terms of Being Lemonade, is still Notably Different from sprite, or any other soda, is probably Minute Maid, a highly processed branded lemonade that you can occasionally get from soda fountains (DESPITE! NOT BEING CARBONATED! similar to how they somehow dispense iced or sweet tea from soda fountains) it sometimes comes in a can or 2L bottle similar to soda, in the soda isle. and its Not Soda. its not Carbonated. its Trying To Pretend So Hard To Be Real Lemonade. it tastes like lemonade thats a bit sad. it is far more lemonade than SPRITE will ever be. if yall were simply insisting that lemonade is carbonated, that it was like, fizzy minute maid, that would be less offensive than calling sprite lemonade. which is Insane. good god.

[nereb-and-dungalef]

This OC Sure Can Destroy And Betray Himself For Nothing

[piplupod]

sometimes i think maybe it's a good thing i'm so traumatized and fucked up mentally and emotionally bc then i never expect ppl to be kind or even just plain old nice to me, so when they ARE kind or nice i feel overwhelming gratitude and almost a sense of awe HFDSJKL like... i dont know if i would have had this appreciation for each little piece of kindness if i wasn't the way that i am. but also i know thats kind of an absolutely wild way of thinking about this LMAO

[netherdevil]

so i have 9 hours so far on ZZZ

i downloaded it JUST TODAY. AT 1PM. thats not normal

[13eyond13]

.

[butchlifeguard]

i would love to do a really long essay about food conspiracies and fatphobia

[master-gatherer]

I am once again asking for people to stop posting hate in the character tags

[skylordhorus]

i think i like. fundamentally genuinely do not understand organised religion and i feel kinda bad abt it in case it makes me blunder and grossly offend large groups of people because i have a fundamentally different outlook on like. belief

[cetoddle]

okay. i am going to continue being stupid. and lowkey embarrassing. and a big stupid fucking idiot. i don’t know what’s wrong w me just ignore me forever okay? okay <3

[fidenciocryptidcreechur]

Wow haha

Life really is so much better when you block stuff you don't like and don't need to worry about

Coming across fandom interpretations and au's that give me the ick and with a simple press of a button i don't have to see it

No worries

It's great

You're allowed your opinion, it can be as wrong and terrible or just off cuff as you want, I'm just gonna block it because I don't like it

I don't even gotta say shit to them either and they won't ever really know

I go back to having fun and forget about it

YAHOO

[11-eyed-rook]

"You don't look disabled/trans/bi/like a guy/sick/diabetic/mentally ill/neurodivergent/autistic/in pain"

*Fucking smacks you with my big paws*