#just the funny robot bird

[detritiviolet]

I think meeting lazerbeak and scratching his little chin and petting his wings would fix me

[stabknives]

Body horror pics below the cut btw.

The stages of Altered Vykrum. To me.

[velvetwyrme]

Welcome back! I love transformers! Which continuity are you interested in? Any favorite characters in particular? Do you have any oc’s? (No pressure if you don’t I’m just curious) <3

Thank you, it's good to be back abfjdbdk! and HECK YEAH TRANSFORMERS 🤝!!!

Thank you for providing me with the opportunity to Talk About Transformers, I will take it graciously and with extreme amounts of vigour and rambling!

Under the cut because of the aforementioned vigour and rambling.

To answer your first question: I'm largely into the IDW (2005) comics, Animated, and Aligned (TFP) continuities! I've also started watching the original G1 cartoon and Cyberverse which has been really fun!! (I'm absorbing so much information. I'm also idly keeping up with the new Skybound comics, which have me yelling screaming crying etc.)

As for characters... I would say I have no favourite/s except I do also own 1 (one) Transformer and well. for something that basically turns into a brick, he gives me immense amounts of joy.

But yes, other than Soundwave, (who has charmed me in every continuity I've seen so far!!) it's a constantly rotating roster because there are SO many characters to think about (which differ from continuity to continuity!!) and I am having the time of my LIIIIFE!!!

It's so funny going from UT/UTMV to TF because UT fans have a lot of focus on Versions of Literally The Same Two Guys, whereas TF has an overabundance of options to pick and choose from (I love both!!! I just think it's very funny in comparison whfjfbek)

Anyway, I am a big fan of a lot of characters from IDW and particularly MTMTE because they're all a bunch of little FREAKS and I love them. But! If I had to pick a few from there, I'm particularly fond of (in no particular order) Drift, Whirl, First Aid, Ratchet, Swerve, Brainstorm, ALSO NAUTICA I love her dearly!!!!

I'm also a Tarn girlie at heart u_u I am not immune to "big bad dude with a mask and a sexy voice just so many problems". Also I have a special place in my heart for Spinister and Pipes rhfjfbejfbk (I love the Scavengers [similarly, a bunch of little freaks] and Pipes makes me SO SAD. WAIT- ANOTHER CHARACTER THAT MAKES ME VERY SAD: IDW SUNSTREAKER. (He was my first taste of the Horrors of the IDW comics and that STUCK with me)

Similarly, I think the Constructicons (+Prowl in IDW) and Combaticons have SUCH fascinating dynamics hjsjkhksjdfh,, combiners got me going crazy... I NEED to find out more about the other combiner teams. It's a fascinating concept.

As for other continuities... Animated has me sick over Blurr, Shockwave and Swindle, and... well, Optimus has intensely kissable lips in this series. Why did they make him like that. I'm also very fond of TFA!Starscream- he was my favorite back when I watched the series as a kid and it was very fun seeing him with fresh eyes LMAO

Fun fact: TFP was a large part of what got me to actually sit down and check out Transformers but... I actually still haven't watched the series itself (つω⊂* ) I just saw TFP!Soundwave and went "OH okay, I love him and need to find out more" which quickly expanded into me going on a deep dive into Transformers, and resurfacing about a month later having read all the IDW 2005 comics and about an equal amount of fanfic for various continuities whfjgbjrbfk,, BUT even though I haven't watched it yet- TFP already has me hooked on Knockout, Ratchet (and Soundwave ofc LMAO)

And the last answer; unfortunately I don't have any TF OCs (ᴗ_ ᴗ。)........

.........YET.

I have many Thoughts but haven't put together any designs because I want to get better at drawin mechs before I jump into making my own! Hopefully that way I have a better idea of how to put em together LMAO. That being said, I Am in fact plagued with ideas!! Like!!! I'd loooove to take a crack at trying to put together a sailplane/glider OC!

(LOOK AT THEM STUPID LONG WINGS...)

Or!! A pair of mechs, one whos an imaging satellite and the other a telescope! (Real starcrossed lovers type deal... both meant to only watch from afar, both longing to be in the other's place/by their side)

I also have a tradition of making sonas that have wings but can't fly, so I kinda want to make a TF sona with a similar concept- either just with good ol doorwings, or maybe a flier with a messed up gyro which causes problems staying upright in the air 🤔

Anyway!!! This is really long again! Oops but not oops because we all knew this would happen. Thank you again for the ask!! (and the excuse to yell about Transformers shfngbekbgm) Now I will return to my daily schedule of listening to. eurobeat and the Transformers Devastation soundtrack. Bye

[bumbleblurr]

I want to talk abt nightblurrbee poly but I think it's so fucking out there and so specifically constructed in my brain which makes it so so nonsensical I don't know if people can appreciate my vision as much as I do. Or even begin to comprehend it

[sharkface]

No matter how I draw Five Pebbles it is important that you remember I think all of the iterators are pretty normal adult human heights but he is like 3'6".

[revelboo]

Everything is Alright Pt 14

Soundwave x Reader- company

• It’s almost maddening, the chaos in that little, organic head of yours. The hurt and frustration that he can’t shut out. While Soundwave doesn’t know exactly what happened that night, he’d felt the immediate shift in you. And it’s worse now as he lets himself into Starscream’s quarters, those intrusive thoughts snaring him. Exhausting him. Wounding.

• His gift, his curse, makes it impossible to not know when something’s wrong. Mostly, he just needs to know if whatever storm is brewing is just a little squall or a hurricane. This isn’t anything major. He shouldn’t care. You’re Starscream’s pet. Or maybe project? Who knew, but the SIC isn’t faring much better. And he’s taking his frustration and anger out on everyone he can. Which is a problem for morale.

• You don’t bother looking up as Soundwave enters and approaches the desk. He lays a single servo on top of your head before shifting it to ever so carefully bop you on the nose, somehow not breaking it in the process. You still jerk back in surprise, eyes narrowing as you stare up at his visor, your own scowling, unkempt self glaring back in the reflection. Oh. Do you really look that rough? Turning your back on him so you won’t give in to the urge to use his visor as a mirror and try to finger comb your hair, you stiffen when he picks you up and sets you on the floor.

• And you can’t help but look at his huge peds. Starscream always keeps you trapped up high, sure, but it’s also safe from accidentally being stepped on. You bite into the inside of your cheek to keep from pleading to be put back. Down is good. You can try to escape if you’re not stuck on his desk. That’s what you want. Right? You’re not entirely sure and you hate it.

• “Eject,” Soundwave says from above you, that chest compartment he’s put you in before opening so huge cassettes can be launched out. Mouth falling open as they transform before hitting the ground, you stare at four smaller Decepticons. They’re still much bigger than you, but they can’t step on you at least. And he just carries them in his chest? You’re not sure why weird alien stuff still throws you at this point. Two look like bipedal robots like Starscream and Soundwave. One seems to be a big bird, an image it reinforces by tilting its head to stare at you. The other appears to be a panther. Looming over you and these new Decepticons, Soundwave holds up a single servo. “Behave.”

• What? He’s leaving you with them? Apparently so as he strides for the door and you just gape after him, protests catching in your throat. “You are tiny. Breakable.” A hand grips your arm, lifting it and you spin in alarm. Because the breakable comment has made your stomach lurch sickeningly. Soundwave wouldn’t have just ditched you with these mechs if they’re going to hurt you. Right? The purple one is frowning at you as he compares your hand with his own. You’re only able to yank out of his grip because he lets you and you’re well aware of that fact. “So, what do you for fun around here?” He asks, grinning down at you while you flounder.

• Your boring lack of fun doesn’t really impress them. Frenzy, Rumble, Ravage, and Lazerbeak aren’t interested in hiding in Starscream’s quarters or doodling on the data pad. So you find yourself dragged out into the halls. Literally. Frenzy pulls you along by the arm in their wake and no amount of struggling or digging your feet in is stopping him. If anything, he finds your panic funny. “I don’t think I’m supposed to be out here,” you say, reluctantly giving up your pointless struggle since it feels like you’re going to dislocate your arm long before he gets tired of dragging you. There’s no winning.

• “Definitely not,” Ravage mutters, glaring at you when you stare, because he can talk. Why it surprises you after everything, you’re not sure, but it does. Maybe your brain is finally starting to reach its ‘nope’ limit. And that limit is talking mecha panthers.

• You’re so distracted you almost miss the huge, bright green Decepticon rounding a corner for all of three seconds. Then you’re trying to hide behind Frenzy as its head tips down and it sees your little group. Its lip curls to flash denta and a foot lifts in a very obvious threat to squish you. “How’d that thing get in here? Don’t you know how fast they multiply?”

• “Stick it up your tailpipe, Scrapper,” Frenzy snarls, his seeming indifference for the fact that while he’s bigger than you, he’s still absolutely able to be stepped-on sized to the other Decepticons. He either really isn’t worried about retaliation or he’s just that dumb and you’re not sure which. The distinction seems very important, though. “You really think a human just wandered in? It’s supposed to be here.”

• And you’re being dragged past the big mech, who looks uncertain. Surely it’s not that easy? Frenzy tugs on your arm and you stumble forward, his hand pushing you forward so you’re in front of him and behind Rumble. Maybe he is worried then, you crane your neck to stare at the big Decepticon as it stares back in perplexed silence. “Don’t run, but walk faster. Even if he’s not the smartest Constructicon, he’s likely to scrape up enough processing power to wonder why a human is supposed to be here,” Ravage hisses softly and you’re hurried along deeper into the Decepticon base. Previous Next

Did I go watch TFO a third time this past weekend because it’s amazing? Yeah, I did. Go watch it. It’s just this gorgeous love letter to G1.

[peppermintquartz]

stuck in an elevator

Someone with a sick sense of humor must be writing my life, because a benevolent God sure as hell would never plan this, Tommy thinks in his bitchiest mental tone. Then he snorts. As if anyone would be interested enough to write a single paragraph about him.

The other occupant of the elevator pointedly does not look at him. Evan Buck keeps his tone so neutral, it's almost robotic. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing. I mean, of all the places in Los Angeles to visit on a day off, we end up at LACMA together. And now we're stuck in the same elevator. What are the odds?" The ludicrously serendipitous nature of this encounter is keeping Tommy from other, less-pleasant thoughts, namely being trapped in a space without a view of the outside world. His pulse is starting to race.

They tried calling 911, but the signal in the elevator was poor. Thankfully the emergency intercom did connect to the museum's operations office, who has contacted emergency services.

"I should've taken the stairs," Tommy grumbles. His skin itches with the need to feel fresh air.

"With that boot on your ankle? Then you're dumber than I thought you were." Evan Buck finally glances over, his blue eyes scanning him from head to toe. "How did you injure yourself anyway?"

"Tripped when I was getting out of the bird," Tommy replies honestly.

Evan Buck scoffs and shakes his head, but his expression softens. "You doing okay otherwise?"

There are so many ways Tommy can answer. He can pretend he is perfectly okay. Somewhat okay. He can claim that he misses Evan Buck, but he wants to be friends, just friends. He can be flippant. Make it funny, keep things superficial.

But this is Evan asking him.

"I miss you like a heartbeat" is what comes out instead. And it's true - Tommy feels like an automaton, moving through time, his routines carrying him along from dawn till dusk.

Entire days going by without a single text from Evan Buck feel empty and pointless. The bedsheets need to be laundered but Tommy doesn't want to lose the final traces of the last time they slept in the same bed. There are books Evan Buck brought over to read when Tommy wants to watch a movie.

And now they are stuck together, in an enclosed metal box, and Tommy is trying not to think about that while also trying not to think about how much he wants to kiss Evan. So he vacillates between a bone-deep phobia and a bone-deep yearning.

"I'm sorry. That was too heavy to lay on you like that." His fingers are clammy where his palms are on the mirrored wall. Licking his lips, he says, "But I don't want to lie to you. Not about anything. But I'm good otherwise, Evan."

"I'm not." Evan inhales deeply and blows out his breath. "I'm... I'm baking every time I think about texting you or calling you. The loft smells like a goddamn bakery. And still, still I can't forget the way you smell, the way you sound, the way you fucking taste. I want - I want so badly - to turn back time, figure out what I said wrong that made you run from me. Maybe I wanna be mad at you. I don't know. But I'm not good, Tommy. I'm not gonna be good for a long time."

"I'm sorry," Tommy begins, but Evan cuts him off.

"I don't want you to be sorry," he snaps, and to Tommy's shame, his eyes well up with tears. "I want you to be mine. I want to be yours. I want... I want us, together. That's what I want. I don't wanna be good, I don't want you to be sorry, I want us to be happy together, that's all I fucking want!"

The silence that falls between them is thick as concrete.

His hands and feet are cold now, and he thinks he is a little dizzy. Gulping down a breath, Tommy says, "I shouldn't have run. It was... I was afraid. That... that you'd see me and everything I'm not."

This is when Evan sighs and turns to face him. "I should've chased after you. I was afraid too. I moved too fast, I know now. But you running away and ghosting me after was a dick move."

"I guess we both have a lot to work through." Tommy manages a tight smile. He is starting to feel lightheaded, and his breathing is picking up pace despite his best efforts to stay calm and distract himself with Evan's presence. His hands are clammy and he tries to wipe them dry on his jeans. "Evan?"

"Tommy?"

"How long before 911 arrives?" Tommy's mouth is dry. His vision sparks and he is valiantly trying to hold on to his composure, but he feels like he's boiling in his dark blue henley; he needs air, he needs the sky, he needs space to flee-

"Tommy!" Evan is right next to him, keeping him from collapsing and hurting himself. His touch grounds Tommy in the present moment, and his face this close blocks out the sight of the metal coffin they are stuck in. "They'll be here soon, okay? It's all good, they'll be here soon. Breathe for me, come on, inhale , two, three, four; hold, two. three, four..."

Evan talks him through the breathing exercises, holding him up and against himself, all the way even after the elevator lurches back to life and delivers them to the next floor safely.

After he's helped out of the elevator, Tommy wretches and vomits all over the floor, some of the sick getting on Evan's nice shoes.

"Sorry," says Tommy, eyes tearing from the force of the nausea, his big frame trembling.

"They're just shoes," says Evan, soothing a hand along his spine. To the attending paramedic, he says, "He has mild claustrophobia. Not usually a problem, but we were in there a while."

Tommy follows the paramedic - Jefferson - to a bench, accepting a quick look-over. To his surprise, Evan stays with him. Jefferson doesn't see anything wrong other than shock and leaves them with a blanket when another call comes in, about some old man and a broken hip.

Tommy finally recovers after about twenty minutes. He smiles wryly at Evan. "Sorry. You don't have to stick around, there's a lot to see in LACMA."

"Tough luck chasing me off," says Evan. There's a determined set to his jaw.

"Evan, I mean, Buck, surely you have other places to go."

"First of all, I hate hearing you call me Buck. Second of all, I'm not going anywhere. I know exactly what I want, and I'm pretty sure I know what you want."

"Yeah? What do I want?"

"To be my forever," says Evan. He looks Tommy in the eye. "And I know enough about myself and relationships, a-and love, to say that I want you to be my forever too. So. Hah. I'm sticking around. Sucks to be you."

Tommy huffs out an amused and exasperated breath. "Still a brat."

"Yeah? Well, you can either put up with me, or you can do something about it." But there's no hiding the curl of his lips.

[cosmicdream222]

Welcome ✨

Call me Cosmic. she/her. Millennial.

I blog about manifesting, loa, reality shifting, the void, etc. If that isn’t your cup of tea, peace out 👽 Asks & DMs are open as long as you are kind & respectful but please read through the FAQ before asking anything!

★ About me ★

I started making aff tapes & subliminals for myself & sharing them here on tumblr in the fall of 2023, and began posting on yt in April 2024.

YouTube channel 📌Previous pinned

Void, shifting & loa stuff compiled from others

The void explained in an old reiki book

An interview with a shifter who has been time-leaping since 2001

The void explained by a lucid dreaming instructor

Near-death experience & manifesting

Misc inspiration from loa twitter

More motivation from loa twitter

Just desire, intend & know it's possible

The universe is a giant hologram

You already have it all

Master Shifter Love Remix Series

How shifting works (the whole package)

Shifting is a law - so treat it like one

Shifting is the least special thing in the world

Shifting/manifesting is not your job

You deserve everything you want

Vanilla explains: Past Lives, Death & Afterlives

Resources, Challenges & Methods

DMT breathwork to enter the void

Wake up with your dream life: affirm & relax challenge

EFT tapping script

Manifesting is not a process challenge

What is Psych-k?

The Phase Basics

SSILD for lucid dreaming

Tips for lucid dreaming

Dream life script Google doc template

My OG void concept aff tape

My Void state subs on Google drive

Full desired appearance & beauty sub

Saturating session with my cats

FAQ: Read these before sending a question!

"Can I manifest...?"

YES. It doesn't matter what it is: the answer is always yes. You can manifest anything you want. Anything!

I will no longer be answering any questions about deadlines/time

About me & my personal experiences & successes

The time I entered the void before I knew what the void was

How do you personally manifest?

Have you entered the void?

Backstory about me and this blog

A quick example on affirming to combat negative thoughts

Success: reconnected with sp after 8+ yrs NC

My mom got super fast subliminal results?!

Manifesting/shifting/void 101

What is the state of the wish fulfilled?

A reminder not to create stories around unwanted circumstances

What is the void?

How do we manifest?

States are not a method

Persisting does not mean repetition

How do I persist properly?

Does robotic affirming work?

What is a saturating session?

Is birds before land a thing?

How do I improve my visualization skills?

How can I manifest in a scientifically proven way?

Doubts/fears/troubleshooting

The void is hard for me, any tips?

How can shifting be simple when it’s so hard for me?

Is shifting real?

What happens to my current self after shifting?

When we manifest are we shifting to a new reality?

When I manifest something, will other people see it too?

How long does it take to see results?

How can I stop obsessing about results?

I’m scared I’m abandoning/betraying people in this reality when I shift/enter the void

Why do some people fail?

What am I doing wrong?

I have doubts, what if this doesn’t work?

How do I convince the logical part of myself?

How can I ignore my toxic/negative circumstances?

What should I do if I’m overthinking?

Funnies :)

The affirming carrot

Me not reacting to 3D circumstances like

[theharkmonologue]

There’s something both very funny and kind of cosmically terrifying about CHEF from Risk of Rain. You land on this planet of strange creatures, giant crabs and very angry birds, that you try desperately to escape from…but to this guy? They’re just ingredients.

Imagine you’re a sentient mushroom creature, of which this planet has many, a drop pod crashes out of the sky and this robot climbs out of it and starts throwing cleavers with wild precision and blasting flame from the oven in its chest because it’s only directives are DICE and SEAR. That’s like, the worst case scenario for a sentient mushroom creature.

[fandoms--fluff]

Hope Mikaelson with a fem!reader that is the last siren alive and have hydrokinesis

splash

Flufftober, October 9th

Female siren reader x Hope Mikaelson

Warnings: none

A/n: For anyone who may or may not know what hydrokinesis is, as I did, it's the power of water manipulation and controlling it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As you sit on a rock by the falls, you create a spiral of water and make it float in the air. You need some time away from the school.

Everyone found out about you being a siren, thankfully nothing about your hydrokinesis, but it really sucked. Especially since Alaric is quite literally making it his personal mission to make your life a living hell over the past week since it was revealed. Apparently for 'lying' about your specie type even though he never asked you and just assumed you were a witch.

He obviously didn't think there were any sirens left alive after Sybil and Selene. Which he definitely didn't appreciate you bringing that up when he went off at you, yelling about how you were a 'disgrace'.

The only person you told about yourself was Hope, your girlfriend. She'd been away in New Orleans with her family when it happened and she's still there.

At least that's what you thought until you heard the sounds of footsteps, someone's walking up behind you. You turn around, letting the water water back into the river from the air.

You let out a sigh of relief when you see it's Hope. You jump down from the rock and walk into her open arms. She wraps her arms around you tightly as you cling to her. You bask in her warmth. Finally someone who's not staring at you as if you were missing your head.

You breathe in her scent of floral perfume and tropical shampoo. "I missed you" You mumble into her neck. "I missed you too." She squeezes you before pulling away slowly.

"I'm sorry I wasn't here when it all happened" She holds your hands in her own. Josie filled her in on what happened when she got back to the school this morning.

She was shocked you hadn't phoned or texted her about it. Honestly, she does get why you hadn't, it must've been really overwhelming and you didn't want to bother her. She's been trying to slowly get you to open up to her, it's a working progress.

She had been searching the entire school for you until she realized where you'd obviously be. Your favorite place in Mystic Falls, the falls. You took her there on your guys' date when you told her about your powers and about being a siren.

"It's alright, I didn't I want to bother you. You don't get much time with your family" You muster up a soft smile. "Well, it isn't everyday your girlfriend's secret is exposed. At least half exposed." She tells you.

"Who told you?" You sigh, you really didn't want Hope to feel sorry for you. "Josie did. And I don't want you to think I'm just doing this because I feel sorry for you" She tells you.

You snap your eyes back up from gazing at her hair, "How'd you, what, can you read minds?" You try not to stutter.

"You have that look in your eyes" Hope tells you and brings your right hand up, placing a kiss to it. You tilt your head in a questioning way. "What?" Her eyebrows furrow.

"I'm trying to figure out if you're a robot or not" You tell her with no joke in your voice. "Ahuh, very funny" Hope chuckles before leading you over to the water.

"How are you, really?" She links her arm with yours. It takes you a moment to gather your thoughts while watching the water fall.

"I'm not saying I'm okay, but it will be. I know it will be. I just need to wait for everything to die down at the school." You explain softly to her as birds chirp in the background.

"Thank you for being honest with me" She rests her head against your shoulder. "Of course. You know I don't try to lie to you, right?" You ask her in a quiet voice, almost whisper.

"Yes, I do, Babe. I know you don't" She holds onto your arm. "Good. So you'll forgive me this then" A mischief glint appears in your eyes, not that your girlfriend can see.

"What are you talking about- hey!" She exclaims when you pick her up and then run into the river, splashing both of you into the cold water. "Oh, I am so gonna kill you!" She splashes water towards you after you drop her in front of you (safely, don't worry).

"You're gonna have to catch me first" You smirk and dive into the water, swimming deeper into the river. "You're on" She chuckles and swims after you.

She shreds the water out of her way as she tries keeping up with you. Though, she realizes it's basically useless. You slow your pace down and stop, turning around to take pity on your tribrid girlfriend.

"You okay, Baby?" You stifle your chuckle at your panting girlfriend as she slowly crawls her way over to you.

"Okay, no fair, you're basically a mermaid" She pants, wrapping her arms around your neck, and legs around your torso to hold herself up in the water.

"And I just realized how out of shape I am" She lets out a massive puff of breath. "Oh, please, if you're out of shape, then I'm a pirate" you raise an eyebrow, making her laugh.

She then takes in your appearance, your eyes look so beautiful and your wet hair makes you look gorgeous with how it falls down by your face.

Before she knows it, she leans in and passionately kisses you. You wrap your arms around her waist as your kiss your girlfriend back. She whines when you pull away. "Why?" She pouts to you.

"I'm sorry, Baby, it's getting late, we should probably be heading back to the circus ring" you tuck a piece of her hair behind her ear.

She looks down at your guys' clothing, she then pauses. "We're soaking wet" She states. "Yes we are" a smile quirks at your lips.

"We're soaking wet in our clothing." She tells you, her eyes widened. "It's alright, I promise you we can snuggle all night" You promise as you start to walk out of the body of water.

You carry her all the way out of the water to the giant rock you we're resting upon earlier. "I'm gonna hold you to it" She mumbles as she's set down back on the ground.

"I don't doubt it" You wrap an arm around her shoulder.

When you notice Hope shivering, you raise your hand and all the water raises from both your bodies, hair, and clothing. And then swish them back into the river.

"There, a little bit warmer" You kiss her cheek.

[lazybutsmexy]

Are you looking for a wife?

Alejandro Vargas x fem!reader

Warnings: pure fluff, mention of injuries, probably very wrong medical information, prescribed drug use, some cursing.

Summary: whenever you get ketamine as pain relief, you lose all thought-to-speech filter.

On AO3

A/N: I just watched an episode of one of those shows about air ambulances from the UK where they gave a guy ketamine, and he was high as a kite and kept telling the doctor (who was like 20 years older) "you're my kind of bird 🥺♥️". You really can get inspiration from anywhere, huh.

•~•~•~•~•

It had been one of those missions that went to shit really quick but somehow the Ghost team got the upper hand in the end. The intel was found, the hostage was rescued, and most of the team got away with minimal injuries.

Unfortunately for you, you were the exception to the last one.

The bullet and the stab wound you had received left you at a risk of bleeding out. One of the Vaqueros - Fernando, you learned - had enough medical training to treat you on site, but you really needed the MedEvac stat. The stim shot you had given yourself during the heat of the battle had long since worn off, and you were administered a strong dose of ketamine to keep your blood pressure from spiking any further and help with the pain once you all made it to the safe house.

However, one funny secondary effect you always got when you were given that drug, was that you lost all filters with your musings. They were never inappropriate per se, just plain weird. In a few words, you were high off your tits.

"...Mars is the only planet in the universe to be entirely inhabited by robots…" you mumbled to no one in particular as you stared straight at the roof over your head, past the top of Fernando's head who was still stitching a scratch on your forehead - only God knows how you got that one. Fernando just blinked at you and shook his head, focusing on his task, while Soap, who wasn't that far from you, was having a really hard time trying not to laugh at your stoner talk.

The utter (non?)sense that came out of your mouth was indeed amusing to whoever was listening closely, mostly Soap and Ghost, who, like the rest of 141, were already used to your reaction to ketamine from previous experiences, and would sometimes even prompt more unhinged thoughts from you. Price tried not to pay too much attention to whatever you said - he knew that as long as you were somewhat coherent and cohesive with your words, they could rule out any brain damage. Whenever Gaz heard your comments, it actually made him think about what you said, always coming to the conclusion that you were actually onto something.

Fernando finally finished with your care and left to check some of the others, while you kept staring at the ceiling of the safehouse, completely lost in your thoughts again. Your eyelids felt heavy, but you weren't sure if it was because of the drug or the blood loss. You were trying really hard to stay awake, but now that your body wasn't burning with pain and the adrenaline had worn off, all the exhaustion from the previous days caught up with you.

You looked over at Ghost, who was now speaking to Alejandro, and couldn't help but sigh dreamily at the leader of the Vaqueros - your inhibitions had really flown out of the window when the ketamine hit. They both glanced at you and you blinked twice, each time your eyelids got heavier.

"LT, 'm sleepy," you groaned, not noticing that you were pouting at both your Lieutenant and the Colonel like a grumpy toddler that needed a nap.

Alejandro somehow maintained a passive stare at you - inwardly though, he was already cradling you in his arms and cooing sweet nothings at you until you fell asleep.

Ghost simply stared at your lying form, and walked closer to you, crouching down to take a better look at your bandages.

"...Well, since you aren't actively bleeding out, I suppose you can take a nap," Ghost huffed but quickly held a finger to your face before you could take him up on it, "but someone will wake you up every 30 minutes just to make sure you still live, copy?"

"Copy, LT, loud and cle-" you interrupted yourself and just stared straight at his skull mask. Ghost frowned, wondering if he should feel concerned.

"...Are you-"

"A cheeseburger," you interrupted him, your eyes wide like sauce plates, "is a dead cow covered with its lactation." As soon as you finished your sentence, your head lolled to the side and you were knocked out cold, a soft snore leaving your barely open lips.

"Bloody fucking hell, kid," Ghost sighed, shaking his head in defeat as Soap wheezed not far away from you.

Alejandro could only stare at you, his hand clutched to his chest. "...Ay, ternura…"

•~•~•~•~•

Thirty minutes had passed when Alejandro decided to check on you. Activity had lulled to a stop and most of the people were catching on some sleep, except for those keeping guard.

He could've gotten some shut-eye too, but he was the kind of leader who wouldn't completely rest until it was totally safe to do so for the whole team.

As he approached you, he noticed you were already awake and staring at the ceiling. He smiled softly, wondering if you were getting lost in your silly little thoughts again, and sat down next to you, watching your eyes focus on him this time.

"What's in your head, preciosa?" He asked, his voice barely above a whisper so as to not wake the others.

"...Are you looking for a wife?" You whispered back at him after a few moments.

He blinked twice before leaning a little closer, wondering if he had heard you right, and if you could hear the way his heart rate picked up. "... Perdón?"

"Are you looking for a wife, Alejandro?" You repeated, dead serious.

He cleared his throat to get rid of the knot that formed there, before grinning at you. "...why? Are you offering?"

"... Yes," you nodded, offering him a little grin of your own, "where should I turn my résumé?"

He chuckled softly and reached down, fixing a stray lock from your forehead and tucked it behind your ear, "ask me again when you're sober and I might tell you, tesoro."

"Oh, the ketamine wore off," you sighed, slightly leaning into his fingers, "the pain woke me up, my whole body burns, actually."

His grin dropped and he frowned at you in concern, you looked awfully calm to be in that much pain. "...Want me to ask Fernando to give you some more?"

You shook your head, offering him a smile, but this time he noticed the sweat on your forehead and the frown in your brow as you tried not to move too much, "nah, I want to be sober to hear your answer. So? How do I apply?"

This time Alejandro could barely check the volume of his chuckle as he leaned even closer to you, his knuckles brushing your cheek, "If you're available, the position is all yours, preciosa."

This time you offered him a toothy smile, a flush staining your cheeks and all signs of pain gone from your features, "I make a mean huevo ranchero, you won't regret it."

"You could make me only tostadas for the rest of your life and I'd still look forward to them," he cooed, before signaling Fernando over to you, "now, let's get you comfortable for the trip, si?"

Just as he spoke, the rumble of the heli echoed in the distance, and little by little the teams woke up from their slumber. You got another shot of ketamine and were prepared for the journey, and it wasn't long until you started sharing your wisdom again with whoever could hear, much to Alejandro's delight, Soap's amusement, and Ghost's chagrin.

"If you think about it, the Miss Universe pageant should be called Miss Planet Earth, because no aliens participate in it… that we know of…"

A/N2: *quietly tags @ragingbookdragon here* 🤫♥️

[unoriginal-and-dumb]

I am doing things I AM DOING THINGS I AM!

Explanations for designs and some head canons below here :3

Infected - Asian-American Autistic ADHD aroace (😈) trans. Yknow Wybie from Coraline? Yea like that but like incredibly annoying. His voice sounds like it’s coming from a shitty mic all the time

Lampert (design by @lucid-daydreaming-art )- Autistic 🇸🇪 ja aroace (😈) funny lamp guy Robots-esque probably kinda talks like baymax honestly, I mean a bit different but yknow, the general idea

(I talk about these 2 enough it’s the others turns)

Poob - I think they are a dumb little critter. They run around and their arms flail in the wind like paper. When they try to clap is makes dog toy squeaking sounds. I don’t think they abide by the rules of physics which is why they are stupid looking ❤️ they have hammer space but it is only for weed related items. The curator of the forever weed brownie, if you will. I think they sound like X from bfb. Aroace (😈)

Pest - literally hates poob because they are small and annoying. Uhhh funky legs because I think he would have funky legs. I stole his eyes because well no real reason, but I think if he was like extra pissed you would see his eyes. Since he is like thief maxxing I do not think he would be wearing anything beyond a hoodie and sweatpants, something trying to be non-assuming I guess. He has hair I think but it is very short no way would he want to deal with that. I don’t have a voice hc for him yet. Aroace (😈)

Bive - she a freakkkkk ehhh. I think she is like freakishly tall, has funny bird legs, raggedy ass scrawny tail, and is constantly covered in hair. Her teeth are kinda just floating on her hair head, so if you punched her hard enough they would just go flying out and she would have to put them back into her head silly girl. I think she is also trans hahaahhahahahaha!!! I think she kinda sounds like ENA from dream bbq, the uhh angry side I believe. Ace (😈)

Split - I gave her dog ears because I think they are cute :) she’s probably like normal ish height Bive is just weirdly tall. She looks very nice and friendly but could probably throw a boulder at you and you will die sowyyyy. Gods most chillaxxed soldier. She gives me kind older lady feelings, even if she weren’t older. I dunno she would be like one of those people who have a comically large purse full of hard candy except it would all be banana flavored. I think she has a slower voice, HAVENT gotten an exact idea for her voice yet but she seems very calm. Ace (😈)

Pilby - I didn’t really add or change their design because I already liked it a lot. I think they are very sweet and kind looking, would make a great plush too but I guess we are not ready to talk about that (YES I am still bitter about it) I think being around them is akin to looking outside a window at an apple orchard while it’s raining a bit. I think they sound a bit like raggedy Anne, based on the creators response too. Aroace (😈)

Spud! - I honestly did not have much come to me for his design, they are just a bit of a funky feller and im not sure how I would add to it honestly. Oh but I do think that they run like an ostrich and it is very scary. Also while drawing I was debating why he had a bow and decided that Gnarpy was like CONGRATZ IN ZURVIVING THE TEZTZ and now Spud! Just has a stupid little yuor did it ribbon. Honestly no clue for voice hc… aroace (😈)

Gnarpy - had a lot of fun with xis design honestly. The redesign reminded me a lot of Stitch so I kinda just shoved that into xim. I think they act a lot like Zim. Like a lot. Probably equally as stupid. I think xis second arms are retractable, like stitch, and xe uses that as a very very shitty disguise that everyone can see right through but just don’t mention because xe seems to be having a good time. I think xe sounds like Four from BFB (the earlier episodes mostly) aroace (😈)

DRRETRO - I think that her head that we see in the game is like a projection of herself, Wagstaff Don’t Starve style. Her body would be like excruciatingly normal besides her head, too. Like go to the hospital and see a nurse, that’s just what she looks like. Very normal, it’s a bit unnerving since her head is that. She’s like those overly friendly posters in a very uncomfortable place type of feeling. She doesn’t have fur either, she’s just a weird cat doctor thing. She acts exactly like Doctor Barber from Flapjack. No voice hc, but she speaks in meows so probably just meowing. Aroace (😈)

Mark - I started thinking about tf2 and Anton blast. Anyway, he is completely made from wood other than the clothes. Beard is carved in, not sure if I got that across in the drawing though. Uh yea I don’t have much I just really like engineer. He wears flannel and a construction vest just like any good law avoiding construction worker. Definitely does not so legal things on his construction sites but does not give two shits about that and also probably would try to employ Lampert when he was younger for free workers (no im not projecting what are you talking about). How on the nose would it be to say he sounds like engineer because I just drew wooden engineer with a beard. Ace (😈)

Wallter - sorry wallter fans I had no ideas while drawing him. I dunno he’s big and he’s cement, so I kept him blocky. Urrrrr he has a can of grey stuff jingle jingle. He is the cement embodiment of that one tweet that’s like “nothing better than a glass of wine, except for maybe #men. #yep #imgay! He kinda seems like one of those lowkey scary bald gay guys who are nice but are also scary and still bald. He’s bald. No idea on voice maybe concrete sliding on asphalt for 10 hours. Ace (😈)

[batfambrainrotbeloved]

So, Wisp has her own sort of AI at this point, right? Like, despite being a robot, she has her own personality and such

it would be incredibly funny if she befriends Damian, and Tim gets overwhelmed with 'Damian loving animals' instead of 'what's happening in Gotham'

(it would also be tragic if something were to happen with her and Damian goes to help (or sees her go to Timothy) and just sees like, a wing get casually removed-)

Yup pretty much!! Her chip was the "original" and since Tim wanted to ensure SHE worked before making his "army" she was made to learn and adapt and that she did.

The others are programmed to be well- pigeons, they're as intelligent as birds geared to survive and ocassionally infultrate gang terrirtory.

Wisp? He let her do her own thing- But if she met Damien (outside the tresspassing thing) who knows how she might react.

(Oh my god I feel so bad I started cackling because I imagined Damien on someones shoulders peering through a window- seeing her wing get ripped off and toppling as he fucking FAINTS)

[weirdmarioenemies]

Name: Binoculars

Debut: Super Mario 3D Land

Wow! What a large and crisp render of Binoculars. This is more than a lot of enemies get. And it's all for Binoculars!

It is nice to see binoculars as an installed apparatus for public use. It reminds me of those binoculars that are sometimes at parks or zoos where you can put in a quarter and get a limited amount of time to look at ducks more closely. Let's look!

Wow! There's a North American Ruddy Duck! in this pond! That's my favorite duck! The blue of the male's bill is probably my favorite color, and they are so cute, especially with their funny proportions. Their head looks too small for their body, but their feet look too BIG for the rest of them! Their feet are large and further back on their body because they are divers who swim down to find food, unlike the dabbling ducks, which keep their butts above the water while foraging. Oops! I forgot that this is a Mario Post and that we aren't actually watching ducks at a pond!

Anyway I just found out those kinds of binoculars are called Tower Viewers. More like Quacker Viewers. Ok on to Mario for real now! Mario, sadly, does not view ducks with these binoculars. They are free, however, which is nice! I'm glad there are ways for everyone to enjoy the Mushroom Kingdom's landscapes at a distance and at no costs. In fact, Mario is sometimes rewarded for using them, as a Toad will throw him a Star Medal upon being seen! A Toad who really wants to bee looked at and goes HAH BAH.

Mario can also see a UFO through the binoculars sometimes! This is often brought up as a Creepy Easter Egg despite the fact that aliens have been present in this franchise since 1989!

With all that about the 3D Land binoculars out of the way, I am really here to say that the binoculars in Odyssey are BETTER. They look like ROB, and overall are a Funny Robot, so they are obviously better by default! They even move around on their own as if they are looking around, and they are really so good at looking, since they are binoculars. I think the binoculars themselves are bird enthusiasts and watch them in delight constantly!

These binoculars even have LORE as seen in the art book, and shared by Suppermariobroth! They are made by the same company as the 3D Land binoculars, and are an older model not capable of stereoscopic 3D! They were installed by the sightseeing company for onsite investigation, and someone has to come and collect the logs from the devices every so often. I seriously love this all sooo much! It is so cute and wonderful that they put this much thought into humble little Binoculars! BinocuLORE!

I would now like to talk about just how these binoculars work! Upon being Captured, they shoot up using spray propulsion (not jet propulsion!!!) and let Mario scope out the area from the sky! Mario got extremely lucky that he happened across these specific binoculars when he happened to have the ability to Capture them, because anyone else using this would be in extreme danger. Please hang on tight!

Binoculars most recently appear in Super Nintendo World, where they are now real! They use the 3D Land design, which makes sense knowing it is canonically the modern design. You can even look at certain things to get little rewards just like in the game! Super Mario in real life! Wa Who!

[thebettybook]

💙 Earth to Optimus? Somebot’s got a crush 💙

🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍

Characters: TFA Optimus Prime x human!fem!reader. Other characters mentioned are Sari Sumdac, Ratchet, Prowl, Bulkhead, and Bumblebee.

Synopsis: Fluff headcanons of TFA Optimus Prime having a crush on you with him being a hopeless, utter romantic + mini scenarios of Team Prime finding out about his crush on you

Warning: Reader is mentioned to get a teeny paper cut that Optimus fusses over. Other than that, all fluff, enjoy~

Strawbetty’s note: First official post for TFA Optimus Prime! I love him :’) (he’s just so kissable) (also we’re not gonna question why I wanna kiss a robot alien)

🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍

💙 When it comes to romance, Optimus Prime is truly a hopeless romantic. Everything, from the faintest of song lyrics to even the smallest of petals from your favorite flowers, reminds him of you.

💙 Every time Optimus comes home to the base from patrol, he always brings back your favorite snacks or flowers that he bought at the local flower shop Detroit Daisies. By now, he’s good friends with the elderly lady who runs the flower shop and at this point she can’t wait for Optimus to confess to you already.

💙 Optimus is also pretty traditional. Since he doesn’t have much experience in the romance department, he goes by what he knows best: the book. Even though he doesn’t fully understand human customs, he does extensive research and courts you with your favorite things.

💙 However, romantic feelings sometimes encourage one to follow their instincts and throw caution to the wind. While he could read every book on Earth or search through every Internet database on how to act around a crush, Optimus knows deep down in his spark that he just wants to continue being himself around you. Especially since you make him feel so safe in doing so.

💙 Optimus is always the first to open doors for you and offers to drive you to places (and he’s been doing this even before he realized he had a crush on you). He’s a gentlebot through and through. Truly the bot next door. One could argue that he’s the eligible bachelor of Cybertron.

💙 Optimus will also show the sides of him to you that he doesn’t show much to anyone—the more goofy and dorky sides of him. He cracks a lot of jokes only you and him find funny, while Sari and Bumblebee just groan at his attempts at dad jokes.

💙 The leader of Team Prime is usually good at keeping his cool, and while Optimus feels safe to be himself around you, having a crush on you feels like he’s keeping a secret from you. And one thing to know about Optimus Prime is that he is terrible at lying and keeping secrets. Thus, he can be super shy when he’s around you sometimes despite the two of you already being close.

💙 He trips over his words and his stabilizing servos whenever he’s around you because you look so beautiful to him just by simply existing. It doesn’t take long before everyone on the team (Sari first, Ratchet second, Prowl third, Bulkhead fourth, and Bumblebee dead last) figures out that Optimus has a crush on you.

💙 Sari knew from the way Optimus would ask her more questions, such as when he came into her room at the base to ask her this: “Sari, could you…what’s that word again? Ah, Google. Could you please Google ‘How to play it cool around your crush’ for me?”.

💙 The young girl comically crossed her arms and grinned like a cat who swallowed a bird. “Why do you wanna know?” Sari had an inkling as to who Optimus’s crush could be—you. “Is this about Y/N?”.

💙 Her second question was enough to make Optimus heat up from the tip of his audio fins to the cheeks of his faceplate. The leader of Team Prime, despite his large frame, backed out of Sari’s room quicker than Bumblebee on the road and with repeated “Nope! Not at all!”’s. Sari snickered; maybe she could meddle later.

💙 Ratchet figured it out when Optimus rushed you to the med bay simply because you got a teeny paper cut on your finger from turning a page of a book you were reading. The older bot grumbled at Optimus for fussing over a paper cut, while you reassured Optimus that you were fine.

💙 Ratchet handed a bandage to you, raising his optical ridge when Optimus still towered over you in the med bay. Optimus watched as you simply wrapped the bandage (a pink Hello Kitty one, Sari’s favorite kind of bandages) over your teeny finger cut. When you placed a hand on Optimus’s servo and thanked him for worrying about you, Ratchet saw Optimus’s flustered expression and lit-up faceplate as clear as day. Oh, for Primus’s sake, he’s got what the humans call a “crush.” Ratchet rolled his optics despite a small smile growing on his own faceplate.

💙 Prowl, who loved to study human life and customs, also learned about human romance customs. He noted the way Optimus’s optics lingered on you if only for the teeniest of cycles, or the way Optimus would talk about something random you did that he found cute during his patrols with Prowl. Optimus’s optics and tone whenever he talked about you always conveyed what Prowl identified from what he saw from human romantic partners as yearning for something more than just being friends.

💙 Bulkhead found out when Optimus went to him for advice on which human movies to watch with you. Optimus listed a bunch of romance movies, from Titanic to Grease. Bulkhead told Optimus that Grease is a classic, and Titanic could make one cry for hours. Optimus took literal notes from Bulkhead’s advice. Bulkhead, ever the sensitive artist, scratched the back of his helm, wondering why Optimus was only listing romance movies to watch with you…UNLESS….

💙 Bumblebee, munching on his energon chips one Friday night, was oblivious, not even batting an optic when you and Optimus softly sang “Hopelessly Devoted to You” while watching Grease together in the living room. Optimus gazed down at you the entire time while singing the lyrics, his optics conveying his hopeless devotion to you, while your eyes were fixed on the screen.

💙 Bumblebee, who was talking about some upcoming car race with Sari, Bulkhead, Prowl, and Ratchet in the kitchen, finally noticed that all of their attention was fixed at the back of your head and Optimus’s helm. Bumblebee also noted the knowing smiles and smirks on their faces.

💙 “What? Why’s everyone staring at Y/N and Optimus?” The younger bot waved a servo in front of Prowl’s face.

💙 Prowl simply took Bumblebee’s servo in his and guided Bumblebee’s servo to the direction of you and Optimus. “Take a look, Bumblebee, and tell me what you see.”

💙 You and Optimus erupted into laughter at a scene in the movie before the two of you snuggled closer together. “Uhhh, I see Boss Bot and Y/N watching a movie together like they usually do?” Bumblebee raised an optical ridge.

💙 Sari shook her head, her crimson pigtails swishing from side to side. She raised her arms, and Bumblebee picked her up to let her sit on his shoulder. “If you look closely, you’ll notice that somebot has a crush?”

💙 Bumblebee narrowed his optics in concentration, before turning his optics back to Sari. “Who, Ratchet?”.

💙 “No, Prime does!” The older bot groaned. “Prime has a crush on Y/N! Tch, young bots these days are so clueless.”

💙 Before Bumblebee could let out an “Ohhhhh” of realization, Optimus interrupted him as he came up to the kitchen to fetch a snack for you. “I have a what on Y/N?” The team could practically see the hearts in Optimus’s optics.

💙 “You have a crush on Y/N,” Sari answered, all smug. “I figured it out first. Don’t worry, we won’t tell.”

💙 “Yeah, we won’t tell!” Bulkhead made a show of zipping his mouthplate and locking it with an imaginary key.

💙 Optimus wasn’t listening, simply grabbing your snack off the counter as if by nature and turning his back to the team to stumble back into the living room and rejoin you. “I…have a crush on Y/N,” Optimus’s voice trailed off, his smile adding to his lovesick daze.

💙 “Earth to Optimus?” Bumblebee called after him, before scratching the back of his helm and lowering his voice to whisper to the rest of the team. “Dang, somebot’s got a crush!” The latter sentence earned Bumblebee a collective eye roll from Sari, Bulkhead, Prowl, and Ratchet.

🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍

Important:

🍓 I don’t own any of the characters I mention or write about; they belong to their original and respective creators.

🍓 All content on this blog is created by me, @thebettybook (excluding posts I reblog that aren’t my own posts and unless I state otherwise). Do not modify, claim, repost, or translate my work onto this platform and any other platform.

🍓 Reblogs are appreciated :). Check out my TFA masterlist

🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍

[revelboo]

Everything is alright- expanded cut

Starscream x reader

One more mile to get it together. Except, you’ve been telling yourself that for how many miles now? It’s been halfheartedly misting rain for the last several minutes, but you don’t bother to roll the windows up on your old sedan. Not when you desperately need the chilly feel of the wind sinking icy fingers into your hair and tearing at your ponytail to help numb the anger and stress just there under the surface.

But even with the speedometer pushing 65 on the wooded country road, there’s no outrunning yourself. Or stopping your mind from sifting through the fallout from your latest boyfriend. Letting the intrusive thoughts in. Like maybe he’d been right, and you hadn’t really made enough time for him. Even if you both worked crappy, full-time jobs that consumed more than their fair share of your time and energy.

If anything, it was as much his fault as yours, right? Hands going white knuckled on the wheel, you crank the rock and roll even higher to let the thump of the bass roll through your bones and send your thoughts flying. You’re out past the county line now, the road just an inky ribbon of asphalt snaking through the woods. Occasionally, the setting sun dazzles you through the gaps in the trees in piercing, painful flares of red and gold.

From the depths of your mind comes the thought that you could just keep driving. See where the road went until it ended somewhere on the coast. It was a lovely dream, but just that. You weren’t brave enough to just go. That’s why you still lived in the nowhere town you’d grown up in. Your foot settles a little more firmly on the gas pedal, slaloming around lazy curves as you try to shake off the mellow ache, because now you’re angry with him and yourself.

You could do it. Flip the proverbial bird to everything you know, especially your awful boss, and just nope off into the sunset without a plan. Probably end up living in the car if it didn’t break down before you even managed to cross the state line. It was funny in a decidedly unfunny way, because your own worst enemy? You. It’s always you.

Snorting at yourself, it takes a minute to register the new sound over the wail of an electric guitar pouring tinnily through your speakers. What is that? The fine hair at your nape prickles as it rolls over you, a thunderous scream that locks the breath in your lungs. Eyes darting up to your mirror there’s a moment of blank disbelief, because no. That’s not a jet right behind you, flying lower than a jet has any reason to as its huge wingspan sheers off branches in its wake.

There’s no time to argue with the impossible vision because the belly of the jet slams and scrapes along the roof of your car with an awful shriek, and panic lights you up. You haul at the wheel, foot slamming down on the brake and then you’re sliding on the wet road. Things get a bit funny after that. Trees right there and the noise of the impact. Your forehead bouncing off the wheel and then slamming back as the airbag deploys with enough force you’re stunned again.

Your world blurs into a confusing smear of impossibility when you lift your head and feel your heartbeat throbbing at your temple. For a moment, you can’t figure out the seatbelt, everything hurts, and your mouth tastes like old pennies.

In the distance, a rumble of thunder rolls as the buckle finally unclips. The door is partially dented in by the impact, so you crawl out the window, head pounding to match the thunder. But thunder doesn’t sound like that. This is a staccato thumping that makes no sense. Guns? Probably that jet exploding. Your awkward slide out of the car via the window isn’t dignified or graceful. Twisting to land on your hip instead of your face, you lift your head. Everything’s muddled and you definitely have a concussion. That’s the only way to explain whatever the hell it is you’re looking at. There are giant robots in the road and one of them has wings painted like the stupid, low flying jet that had tried to kill you. And they have guns. You don’t even know what to make of this particular hallucination playing out in front of you. Staggering up out of the ditch and onto the road, it feels like you’re on a ship, the ground pitching and rolling under your feet as your stare up at the nonsense. You definitely brained yourself good. Most likely, you’re still in the car bleeding out and this was your mind’s idea of a consolation prize. Except you’d never actually liked sci-fi or robots.

Turning unsteadily as your whole body screams in pain, you stare from the jet and its fiery red eyes to the other two imaginary head trauma robots. One’s yellow and the other is white with red and blue accents. And they’re not shooting the jet anymore. They’re just staring down at you in the same kind of dumb stupor that's weighing you down. Your legs get a bit cute on you and your knee thumps onto the road. Feeling the grit and loose gravel digging into you cuts through the hazy fog of pain and disbelief.

Because it’s real. And then the panic rears its head, screaming at you to run even as you freeze. You’d always kind of assumed you’d do well under pressure. That you’d at least do something. Kneeling there as the misty rain slowly chills your skin, you don’t move. You can’t. Not even when you see the jet lunge right at you.

****

It's almost serendipity when the human staggers up into the road between him and the two Autobots. Gaping up at them with no sense of self-preservation or fear. Staring at him in the optics like he was no threat to it. Brave, but so stupid.

Because his options are limited even though he’s not exactly outgunned. No doubt the Autobots have called in for backup. Even bleeding energon and one wing hanging on by sheer spite and a prayer, he could handle two of them. Several, though?

And calling in his own backup? Having to beg for help even from his own trine? Weak. He’d never live it down. Or survive it. Weakness didn’t last long among the Decepticon ranks.

Feeling the wound in his side pulling as he lunges, he’s only barely aware of Jazz’s cry. The human is softer than he expects, that soft flesh giving horribly against his servos as he catches it and lifts it out in front of him like the most ineffective shield ever. Aside from a wheezing sound halfway between a gasp and a moan, the human just hangs there in his grip, unresisting. Maybe broken.

All that matters is that Jazz and Bumblebee have frozen. Maybe it isn’t so ineffective. Because the Autobots are forbidden from harming organics. Especially humans. Baring his denta in a feral smile, he backs away from the two.

“Let the human go, Starscream,” Bumblebee says, voice as steady as the weapon still raised toward him in threat.

An empty threat. A laugh escapes him, his smile turning nasty. “No, I don’t think so.”

Whatever is inside humans is hot, sticky, and leaking unpleasantly against his servos. The sensation is almost enough to make him chuck the thing at the two idiots to buy himself some time. Small hands push at his servos as the thing in his grip shudders. It’s silent, though as it looks up at him with big, terrified eyes.

Spark thrumming, he keeps moving back. They were really going to let him go just because he’d nabbed a human with no survival instincts whatsoever. Who still was eerily quiet as they sluggishly leaked red fluid from a gash on their head. Turning on his heel, he pulls it into his chassis as he transforms, pain rippling through him. There’s a terrifying moment of very real fear that his wing won’t hold. That he and his hostage will crash back down, but his turbines roar and he’s gone.

It's no longer silent, he can hear its rasping gasps. Maybe transforming around it had finally broke through its shock. Something definitely had. He could feel its little hands scrabbling at his interior in a panic, the sensation causing his metal flesh to crawl all over. It was inside him. Touching everything. Leaking that sticky red stuff inside him. The only consolation at all was that it wasn’t screaming.

Yet.

“Keep your filthy little hands to yourself,” he snarls as it paws at the seam of his cockpit as if it wants to be jettisoned. Was nearly begging for it. As tempting as that thought was, the docile, little thing had potential. Namely as a way to keep the Autobots from firing at him.

Snatching its hands back, its wide eyes dart around his interior. So, it isn’t quite as addled as he’d thought. Surprising. “It’s talking. The giant, metal death robot is talking,” it mutters, voice soft and raspy with pain as it tucks its hands against its chest.

“Starscream.” The annoyance is immediate and the human flinches at his tone, hunching its shoulders. It doesn’t respond, though. Just makes that weird, gasping sound as it looks around for an escape.

Aside from a low, moaning when he transforms around them a second time, it’s silent as he keeps it trapped inside his canopy. One of its soft hands slaps against the glass to make him shudder, its breathing becoming louder and more frantic. There’s the fear he’d expected. By some miracle, he makes it inside the base and to his quarters without getting stopped. Though, Skywarp gave him a look as he limped past. A low growl and a flash of denta had been enough to discourage his trine brother from needling him for the moment.

Closing the door behind himself, the pain of his ruined wing crests and threatens to wash over him. Servos gingerly touching his side and wincing when they come away wet with energon, he picks up an empty energon cube and pops his canopy. With a startled cry, the human falls out into his palm, and he drops them into the cube. The walls are high enough that he doubts they can manage to get free. Placing it on a shelf, his optics narrow as it scrambles to the far side of its prison, eyes wide.

Huffing out a low vent, he turns and leaves the human to go find the medic.

****

You slide slowly down the smooth glass wall to land on your butt as your legs just give up. The apparently not hallucinatory, brain trauma induced, giant robot stuck you in a big, square aquarium and even though the top is open, you can’t get enough air. Or stop shaking as panic sank its teeth into your throat.

Reaching up, you gingerly touch your temple. There’s blood there, but sticky and not actively bleeding you think. And even if you’re not imagining all this, you probably, definitely, do have a concussion. You can’t motivate your shaking, noodle legs to stand, so you crane your neck to study your prison. The walls are much higher than you are tall and featureless. No way to get a good grip to climb out, even as you very briefly entertain and dismiss the idea of parkouring up the corner of the box to freedom, because that isn’t happening, and you know it.

Which leaves you all alone to wander the shores of melancholy regret in the silence of the empty room. There’ll be no seeing where any other roads go now. No second chances. You tunnel your fingers through your hair, pulling on it as you try to gather yourself. To think it out. Feeling miserable, you look around the big room. It's giant robot sized and surprisingly spartan. There’s a flat metal berth along one wall, a desk and chair, what might be storage drawers, but blessedly little else. No mementos of a life lived. No trinkets. Something about that bothers you, but you don’t dwell on it.

You’re not sure how long your big, evil robot, Starscream, is gone. Hours? You’re almost drowsing in your corner even as you shiver uncontrollably in the icy room. Apparently cold didn’t bother giant robots, but then, it’d been very warm when you’d been trapped inside its interior. Any other time you’d have been ecstatic about riding in a jet. Fear for your life had soured the experience.

You bang your head on the glass wall of your cage when the door opens, and your kidnapper returns. Those glowing red eyes slide your way before dismissing you. Shifting to drag your legs against yourself, you watch it move to an oversized chair and slump. Teeth chattering, a new concern surfaces. This thing knew you needed food and water, right?

“Almost brought down by two weak Autobots,” it mutters, dragging a hand down its face in a disturbingly human gesture. For an alien robot murder machine, its face is uncannily human. It reaches back to prod at one of its wings. It looked better than it had, you realize. “Nearly ripped my wing off.”

Was it talking to you? Unsure, you dart your tongue out to wet your lips. Somehow you hadn’t yet won yourself a Darwin Award even though you’d blundered into the middle of a fire fight between huge, angry robots while gawping like a hick tourist. Did you dare push your luck? “How dare they,” you say, voice a barely-there, raspy whisper.

It hears you, though. That big head turns to stare at you, and you wilt as its wings flit up a little higher and the silence stretches.

“Right?” Starscream demands suddenly, growling voice full of irritation. It sounds like a he, you decide. Though since it was whatever the hell it was, who knew. “I could have destroyed them then and there with one servo.”

It’s almost funny as the alien death machine actually puffs out his chest a bit when you nod in agreement, teeth chattering. And then you run with it, playing devil’s advocate, because staying on his good side? Definitely a good idea. “They wouldn’t stand a chance.”

“Of course not,” he sneers, rising to tip his head at you with almost predatory interest. Drifting away to a wall, he retrieves a huge blanket and drops it unceremoniously on you. The material is soft as silk, but some chemical smell clings faintly to it. You still cocoon yourself in it, face poking out to watch your evil robot return to his chair and his sprawl. And falls silent, staring at you in return.

The shivers slowly ease, but don’t go away altogether. That doesn’t stop you from drifting off, though. Your sleep is thankfully a dreamless void that sinks its claws in and drags you under. It’s almost pleasant up until something bounces off your head and the pain you’d left behind in sleep screams through you. Along with the realization that you’re being buried alive. Clawing your way free, you fall on your face, swearing.

And look up to find Starscream staring down at you, his lips twitching in cruel amusement at your expense. Your heart runs wild, rabbit-fast in fear. His red eyes shift behind you then back. Wary, you turn to look and find he’d buried you in a mountain of beef jerky, chips, soda, and- its food. He’s brought you food. That has to be a good sign, right? Why bother to feed you if he’s just going to squish you.

Sure, he could have not dropped it all on your head, but you aren’t about to tell him that. Just like you aren’t going to think too deeply about where the food came from either. It’s not like he can just waltz into a store and buy stuff. You’re snapped out of thoughts of sirens and explosions when you realize those fearsome eyes are scrutinizing you. Waiting for your reaction?

“Thank you?” Your voice is soft and uncertain, but the big, scary robot freezes all the same. Those wings on his back flip up then back down. Like he’s surprised that you’d thanked him. Just like the complete 360 he’d pulled when you’d agreed with him before. Like your captor isn’t too used to being listened to or appreciated. And he not only loves the attention, he might just crave it. Fawning over him is a small price to pay for your life. And that smug, preening smirk paired with those little wing flutters? For a kidnapping, killer robot, he’s kind of adorable. Not that you’re ever going to admit that out loud. You like living too much for that.

You freeze when he reaches into your cage before scooting back from that massive hand. Unwilling to give up your warm blanket, you drag it with you and suck in a sharp breath when he cages you in his hand and lifts you out. His grip isn’t as rib crushing as the last time he’d snatched you up and you cling to his fingers, heart racing as he places you on the desk.

****

Scrolling through reports, Starscream keeps an optic on his new- what, pet? Yes. A pet. Letting out a long-drawn vent, he works and tracks the human as it stands up still wrapped in the cleaning cloth he’d given it and dragging it along as they cautiously move around his desk. It only takes a low growl under his breath to discourage the human from getting near the edge. Those big eyes dart up to him in surprise before moving away from the drop.

Satisfied that it’s not going to launch itself to a stupid death, he resumes perusing reports. “Can you believe those idiots?” He grumbles to himself out of habit. “I told them that mine was unstable.”

He hears the human’s quiet steps as it moves closer to him, little face tipped up toward him. “They should have listened to you,” it says, the words surprising him.

Because they were true. Were humans usually this astute or had he just picked a particularly smart one? His wings adjust slightly as he turns his attention to the tiny creature. “They never listen to me.” Reaching out he ghosts the tip of a servo over their head, surprised by how soft their hair is. It goes still under his touch, head lowering as he slides that finger down its back.

He'd had a petro rabbit once, the tiny, fragile thing so trusting. It would eat from his hand and come willingly to him. Petro rabbits weren’t exactly clever, though. Couldn’t distinguish him from Skywarp. And even though Skywarp had claimed it had been an accident, Starscream had never really let it go. Or believed him. Suddenly unsettled, he gently strokes over the human’s head again. Soothing himself and his new pet.

Because this time would be different. He freezes as it leans into his palm, slowly relaxing. Its skin is colder than he remembered, and he frowns as he carefully curls his servos around it. And it leans eagerly into his warmth with a little noise of pleasure. His optics flit to the empty energon cube as it relaxes further against him, its own big eyes peering up at him trustingly. He'd never actually been this close to a human, he realizes. Certainly never touched one.

Venting softly, he uses his free hand to pull his datapad closer so he can finish going through the reports. Stiffening when the human lays its head on his servo, little hands clinging as it soaks up his warmth.