#MY TAGS MAY AS WELL BE A WHOLE NOTHER POST AT THIS POINT

[velvetwyrme]

Welcome back! I love transformers! Which continuity are you interested in? Any favorite characters in particular? Do you have any oc’s? (No pressure if you don’t I’m just curious) <3

Thank you, it's good to be back abfjdbdk! and HECK YEAH TRANSFORMERS 🤝!!!

Thank you for providing me with the opportunity to Talk About Transformers, I will take it graciously and with extreme amounts of vigour and rambling!

Under the cut because of the aforementioned vigour and rambling.

To answer your first question: I'm largely into the IDW (2005) comics, Animated, and Aligned (TFP) continuities! I've also started watching the original G1 cartoon and Cyberverse which has been really fun!! (I'm absorbing so much information. I'm also idly keeping up with the new Skybound comics, which have me yelling screaming crying etc.)

As for characters... I would say I have no favourite/s except I do also own 1 (one) Transformer and well. for something that basically turns into a brick, he gives me immense amounts of joy.

But yes, other than Soundwave, (who has charmed me in every continuity I've seen so far!!) it's a constantly rotating roster because there are SO many characters to think about (which differ from continuity to continuity!!) and I am having the time of my LIIIIFE!!!

It's so funny going from UT/UTMV to TF because UT fans have a lot of focus on Versions of Literally The Same Two Guys, whereas TF has an overabundance of options to pick and choose from (I love both!!! I just think it's very funny in comparison whfjfbek)

Anyway, I am a big fan of a lot of characters from IDW and particularly MTMTE because they're all a bunch of little FREAKS and I love them. But! If I had to pick a few from there, I'm particularly fond of (in no particular order) Drift, Whirl, First Aid, Ratchet, Swerve, Brainstorm, ALSO NAUTICA I love her dearly!!!!

I'm also a Tarn girlie at heart u_u I am not immune to "big bad dude with a mask and a sexy voice just so many problems". Also I have a special place in my heart for Spinister and Pipes rhfjfbejfbk (I love the Scavengers [similarly, a bunch of little freaks] and Pipes makes me SO SAD. WAIT- ANOTHER CHARACTER THAT MAKES ME VERY SAD: IDW SUNSTREAKER. (He was my first taste of the Horrors of the IDW comics and that STUCK with me)

Similarly, I think the Constructicons (+Prowl in IDW) and Combaticons have SUCH fascinating dynamics hjsjkhksjdfh,, combiners got me going crazy... I NEED to find out more about the other combiner teams. It's a fascinating concept.

As for other continuities... Animated has me sick over Blurr, Shockwave and Swindle, and... well, Optimus has intensely kissable lips in this series. Why did they make him like that. I'm also very fond of TFA!Starscream- he was my favorite back when I watched the series as a kid and it was very fun seeing him with fresh eyes LMAO

Fun fact: TFP was a large part of what got me to actually sit down and check out Transformers but... I actually still haven't watched the series itself (つω⊂* ) I just saw TFP!Soundwave and went "OH okay, I love him and need to find out more" which quickly expanded into me going on a deep dive into Transformers, and resurfacing about a month later having read all the IDW 2005 comics and about an equal amount of fanfic for various continuities whfjgbjrbfk,, BUT even though I haven't watched it yet- TFP already has me hooked on Knockout, Ratchet (and Soundwave ofc LMAO)

And the last answer; unfortunately I don't have any TF OCs (ᴗ_ ᴗ。)........

.........YET.

I have many Thoughts but haven't put together any designs because I want to get better at drawin mechs before I jump into making my own! Hopefully that way I have a better idea of how to put em together LMAO. That being said, I Am in fact plagued with ideas!! Like!!! I'd loooove to take a crack at trying to put together a sailplane/glider OC!

(LOOK AT THEM STUPID LONG WINGS...)

Or!! A pair of mechs, one whos an imaging satellite and the other a telescope! (Real starcrossed lovers type deal... both meant to only watch from afar, both longing to be in the other's place/by their side)

I also have a tradition of making sonas that have wings but can't fly, so I kinda want to make a TF sona with a similar concept- either just with good ol doorwings, or maybe a flier with a messed up gyro which causes problems staying upright in the air 🤔

Anyway!!! This is really long again! Oops but not oops because we all knew this would happen. Thank you again for the ask!! (and the excuse to yell about Transformers shfngbekbgm) Now I will return to my daily schedule of listening to. eurobeat and the Transformers Devastation soundtrack. Bye

[cloud-somersault]

Hey, how are you doing? I hope you’re alright. 💕 I’ve been reading your status updates on Constellations and the Epilogue, and I just wanted to let you know that I think you’re amazing. Your writing is incredible and I love it. Your stories are so well thought out and the characters are ✨on point✨, and the plot is complex and detailed and aaahhh! It has me hooked! 🤩

And I understand how it hurts when you put so much effort and love into a story, only to post it and not see others be anywhere near as excited or invested as you are. I know how discouraging it can be. And it may be a little silly, but I do want to apologize for not commenting lately—life took some difficult turns for me healthwise around the end of last year and I haven’t been able to catch up! I’m still on Chapter 4 of Constellations! 😭 BUT Chapter 5 is open on my phone, and I am READY to read it as soon as I have the time (and mental energy, but that’s a whole ‘nother issue 😩). Don’t worry that your writing isn’t enough, or be discouraged if some readers don’t catch hints while others are figuring it all out seemingly too easily. Everybody reads and comprehends stuff differently, and it’s not a sign that your writing is bad if they don’t catch it! Honestly, I’m pretty bad at catching hints the first time I read a story unless they’re pretty darn obvious. I don’t usually notice subtle hints until the second, or third, or even seventh read-through, haha! (on the bright side, rereading stories and rewatching TV shows is always fun!) 😅

I guess what I really wanted to say is… don’t give up hope. Don’t lose your love and enthusiasm for your works, or feel like they aren’t worth writing because others don’t seem interested in them. At the heart of it all… at the end of the day… write because you love to. Because it makes you happy. And know that it doesn’t have to be “perfect”—the main goal should be that you enjoy it. That’s something I’m trying to teach myself, too. 💕

Thank you for taking the time to write this message and send it. I appreciate you're very kind words 💕I'm doing okay, I just had to take a step back for a bit from socials and stuff. I'm gonna keep that up for a while.

Please don't apologize for not commenting or taking your time reading. Your health always comes first, and I'm sorry if I came off as childish or needy, that wasn't my intention. Two things just happened that set me off and the timing of it was incredibly poor 😓

Please take your time reading; none of it is going anywhere, and don't feel obligated to leave comments either. i'm realizing that, even if chapters are short or long, finding the time to finish things is difficult, and everyone lives different lives. And I'm sorry about all the spoilers on this blog, I'll tag that better from now on.

But I really do think I got confused or disjointed in my perceptions; everyone here knows so much because i've been asked questions and given answers and people have interacted, so people following me here have more context than the average ao3 user. But I've kinda been expecting everyone to be on the same page, which will never be true.

I'm also the same way where it takes me a while to pick up on hints. I actually changed my writing style to prevent this. I got tired of reading books in college where you had to dive into every little thing. the hints and clues weren't obvious to me. I decided then that, when I wrote, I wanted things to be bold, obvious, but beautiful. I didn't want to make readers feel like they're missing something. I wanted them to trust that every answer, every clue would be answered in time. I made that promise to myself a decade ago, and being reminded of how different people interpret things just...made me remember.

I take writing really seriously, probably too seriously, but I've been doing it for so long and I love doing it. I want to be good at it. When it feels like I've gone back on that promise to myself, I get frustrated. I think of ways I could've fixed things. But I also remember that those books and those writing styles just weren't for me. I wasn't the target audience.

Sorry to go off on a tangent, but I wanted to explain why I got upset. I still love Constellations and I'm posting it on ao3 out of convenience, really. It's easier to reference and search there in one "Entire Work" than to have 5 documents open. The fact that others can see and read and have fun is a bonus. But I'm committed to telling this story, and I'm gonna finish with a bang.

Thank you, I won't forget why I'm doing this and that my thoughts/feelings come first! 😤I hope your health concerns are taken care of soon. Take it easy, and thanks again! 💕

[cocaineyoga]

Few points, one; I think your mug is quite pretty so your tag seems a bit off, two; would you consider yourself demisexual then if you need that emotional connection? Three; how was your goon sesh, queen?

Well i couldn't come up with anything better! feel too much like im flattering myself between posting pictures looking for attention and then also having a cocky face tag!

Meh, I wouldn't consider demisexual myself because I don't consider wanting emotional connection to be a whole nother sexuality/thing. It's just my preference, there isn't a sexuality for liking Asians or black people lol. I also think once I've had a few relationships I will most likely be more open to sex and may become a whore, who knows.

Because of my autism and being quite overweight in highschool I never made meaningful connections that way because people would judge me for my body and didn't want me so when I got hot I just don't want anybody that doesn't see me as a person. The amount of (mostly) men who see women as things is staggering. I know there's lots of good guys out there I literally just haven't met mine yet.

I also want to point out I also like women but there is a super low wlw population where I live and right now my attraction is pretty guy based but it'll Flux.

Goon sesh was good, did 2 actually.

[thera-daydreams]

PLUS ONE

》 A TRESE TWOSHOT 《

[Maliksi x Reader]

📝 Summary: In which your beloved best friend snatches you from your apartment at dawn asking you to be his plus one for his cousin's wedding. Unbeknownst to the clueless you, everything is just going according to Maliksi's ultimate masterplan. With the help of friends and family, the Prince of the Tikbalang finally gets the girl he's been longing for. And oh, Señor Armanaz gets his dream daughter-in-law and the promise of grandchildren within the year.

📌 Warning: May contain some slight NSFW for spicy suggestiveness and cussing. No smut or anything super SPG—this girl can't write that for her life—but just be prepared. It's Maliksi we're talking about. We've got friends-to-lovers, obliviousness, pining, fluff, and a tikbalang simp. Figure it out. 😃

(word count: 7,454) ♥︎ Part Two: ?

》 AUTHOR'S NOTE 《

Not an Inday spinoff, but a lengthy oneshot in celebration of this blog getting 90 followers. Just ten more to 100, yay! Thank you so much for the love and support, everyone. I also promised that I'll be making this brainrot that @binibiningbabaylan and I have fangirled over a few days ago (find the original post here) when I finished the latest chapter of Inday. Here it is! 🥰

Before I forget, I was also inspired by the cute fic made by @crispybasil titled "Sunshowers" and the "Trese Boys As Things My Guy Friends Do" made by the amazing @smolla-than-a-bug (I bow down to your wonderful works in the Trese fandom). I definitely see Maliksi to be the type to go on spontaneous roadtrips and be the boyfriend to drive you around eveeeerywhere (while also driving you crazy). 🚘

There are also some songs mentioned throughout this work. You should probably listen to them while reading for the full experience. Ending was somewhat rushed but eh, I'm too exhausted and I've rewritten it too many times. Also, if someone makes some actual tikbalang smut, tag me please. Anyways, enjoy! 💕

The way it all started was hilarious. Absolutely fucking hilarious. It happened like a blur. Literally. One second, you were snoozing in your bed. The next? You had a seatbelt on in the shotgun seat of a sophisticated-looking car. Your brain didn't even get to process it yet.

"... So let me get this straight," you grumbled, still half-asleep from your sleep marathon. You just finished a hugely successful project at work yesterday, got promoted, and wanted to make up for the restless nights you spent overtime in the office. Of course you were irritated from being disturbed. You were on vacation leave for two entire weeks, originally planning to go into temporary isolation by deactivating your social media accounts and reserving a beach cabana for yourself in Batangas.

Well, turns out, you weren't going to Batangas anytime soon. All because your unreasonably spontaneous bestfriend of ten hectic years stole you from your apartment at 2AM. Was this considered kidnapping? Was this him just being more in touch with his tikbalang side, taking unsuspecting women in their sleep and leading them to their inevitable death? (He was going over the speed limit, so it was a valid thought.) Will wearing your shirt inside-out save you today? Lord, masyado ka pang pagod para mag-isip ngayon.

"Go on."

"You abducted picked me up in the middle of the night because you want me to be your plus one at your cousin's wedding in Tagaytay?"

"Yup. And technically, the venue is right on the outskirts of Cavite going to Tagaytay," he corrected you as a matter-of-factly.

"Same thing, whatever," you huffed tiredly. "Your cousin's wedding is at 6AM today. In a few hours. In four hours."

"Uh-huh."

You groaned exasperatedly, "Mal naman, eh! You didn't even let me bring anything. Could've at least given me a heads-up a few hours ago. I'm practically emptyhanded right now save for my phone! Sinungaling ka, you said this was just a normal midnight drive—not a freaking wedding!"

The Prinsipe ng Mga Tikbalang, son of the Great Stallion, heir to the Armanaz herd, and the Top Drag Racer of C-5 Expressway—if that was even one of his Game of Thrones-like titles—grinned as he continued driving beside you. He let you continue ranting in the passenger seat while he mulled over his ultimate masterplan that would change his entire life later on. He was a spur-of-the-moment kind of guy, so all this wasn't his thing. But for you? He'll make plans, alright.

"Wala man lang akong dinalang masusuot o kahit konting makeup para maging presentable sa harapan ng buong pamilya mo," you exclaimed, in absolute despair. "Do you know how out of my league you are? Your rich-ass family might judge me—hell, your dad might see me as a hampaslupa if I show up there in my pambahay and tsinelas!"

"Psh, I'm not out of your league," Maliksi waved it off, smoothly turning a corner. "And calm down. We've known each other for a decade! My dad practically loves you as his own daughter. Heck, the entire family knows you and keeps telling me they want you adopted in already. Lolo Andres and Lola Perlita said they'd have the paperwork settled. You just need to sign them."

It would be even better (and easier) if you married into the family. To him, specifically (as if he'd let anyone else have you). God, he was already being so obvious in his advances, but you were just so damn oblivious whenever it came to romance. None of this needed to happen if you just got it through your thick skull that he was madly in love with you.

"That's not the point, idiot!" you slumped back into your seat, hopeless. "Do you think the bride and the groom will get offended? Shit, baka masumpaan ako kung magagalit sila, Mal. Mukha akong patay galing sa South Cemetery."

The long-haired tikbalang rolled his eyes, "Huwag kang mag-alala. Nothing's going to go wrong. Chill ka lang diyan. I've got everything under control, babe."

Babe. Yes, he even called you babe but you thought it was him being a himbo and a massive flirt. Now, it was his common term of endearment for you, but you still assumed it was him just being irksome to you and that you couldn't stop the man from saying it anymore. Thus, you let it be (the most obvious hint of his attraction to you, bestie).

"... Ugh, why didn't you ask Hannah or Amie to go with you?"

He just smiled knowingly, shrugging and making up an excuse, "Nagmamadali ako, eh. Hannah and Amie are also coming, but they already have the other tikbalang as dates."

"'Luh, ako pala ang backup choice mo?"

"Heh. Whatever you want to think."

Little did you know that you were always his first choice. Always. Even when he pursued Alexandra Trese many years ago, trying to convince himself you were just his best friend, it was always you. How did he come to that realization? Well, an international band he was a fan of released a song a couple years ago and he heard it being played in a club in BGC. The song title?

It Was Always You by Maroon 5.

Needless to say, after hearing the song and being unable to get it—get you—out of his mind at night, he stopped courting Alexandra. Unfortunately for him, that time, you'd started dating other men. Therefore, he was left on the sidelines... until your latest and most painful breakup, at least. That was five years ago. You still hadn't dated anyone since then, kind of traumatized from getting into another failed relationship like that.

In the present day, as if the fates were playing on you two, one of your favorite artists played on the radio. A very ironic song given the situation you two were in.

Best Friend by Rex Orange County.

Maliksi knew it was a favorite of yours. He knew it by the way your eyes lit up like a star brightening the twinkling night sky. Like the sun first rising in the morning at Apolaki's command. Like the moon extending its gentle rays from the magic of Mayari herself. If there was anything he wanted to ask of the old gods, it was you—everything else be damned.

"I wanna be the one that makes your day, the one you think about as you lie awake," you half-sang and half-screamed happily, somewhat out-of-tune. "I can't wait to be your number oooooone! I'll be your biggest fan and you'll be mine—"

Maliksi glanced at you, not minding that his eardrums were probably getting microscopic ruptures from your aggressive singing. As much as he wanted to stare at you all day, he had to keep his eyes on the road. But the lyrics you were singing were wrong; the Prince of the Tikbalang was already yours from day one.

"Babe, McDo drive-through tayo for breakfast. Let me make it up to you. Gusto mo ng caramel sundae for your promotion gift? Sige. Ako bahala. Chicken nuggets din? Mabubusog ka ba niyan? I don't think they serve those this early..."

》》》

"Sandali lang!" you shouted out from inside an empty room. You'd just arrived at the venue—the Alta Veranda de Tibig in Silang, Cavite (practically the gateway to Tagaytay)—an hour or so ago. The hired makeup artist just left so that you could privately change into the outfit that had been bought specifically for you. Curse Mal and his ability to buy anything (perhaps anyone) he wanted. "Bwiset, Mal, you didn't tell me we'd be part of the damn entourage. We have to be walking the aisle in thirty minutes, simbako! You just love rushing me, don't you!?"

If only you were the one walking down the aisle today towards him.

When you exited the room, Maliksi couldn't help but let his jaw drop as he skimmed your figure, clad in the luxurious, silky satin blush midi dress he bought in one of those fancy stores in Makati yesterday. He imagined that it would look great on you, but now, seeing it on you in person... you looked divine (and frankly, he wanted to see it off your body to see what was underneath—but don't get too ahead of yourself, Mal). It was a whole 'nother level from his imagination. The deep cowl neckline and thin spaghetti straps showed your lovely collarbones... as well as a peek of your cleavage. His favorite and the best part of it all? It was backless, allowing him to gaze at the tempting curve of your spine.

He hadn't realized he had grown silent until you smiled and closed his mouth, tapping his chin.

"Lalangawin ang bibig mo, Mal," you laughed softly. Never had you seen him so speechless. You then flicked your hair back, ridiculously posing for him like you were on the cover of Vogue magazine (haba ng hair mo, gurl!). "Do I look that good? Char lang."

"... You look absolutely ravishing—I mean, uh, stunning. Hot. Yeah." That was all he could say. He mentally punched himself for not showering you with more suave compliments.

Still, your face brightened up, not knowing that the man in front of you just fell for you a thousand times harder, "Wow! Really? Damn. Ang galing talaga ng MUA na kinuha mo, ginawa akong artista. Give me their contact number later! May work event pa naman ako in two months. I'm shocked, it's like they made me rise from the dead! Even my eyebags are gone, Mal! How'd they do that?" Heck yeah, your confidence was boosted. He offered his arm to you like a gentleman, making you half-heartedly roll your eyes (you took it anyway). From holding it alone, you could tell that your best friend was a sinewy man (well, you knew that already after seeing his tikbalang form before—the little shit didn't even wear a loincloth like all his clanmates; your poor eyes were eternally scarred).

You looked him up and down. You wouldn't lie—Maliksi is and always has been an attractive man. Now? With his hair in a ponytail (pun not intended), definitely one of the hunkiest men you've ever known. "You're not looking too bad yourself, horsey."

"Ako pa!" He puffed his chest out in pride. You chuckled at his reaction.

"By the way, how do you even know my dress size and my shoe size?"

"Babe, I've known you too long. You know almost everything about me, I know everything about you."

You snorted at his confident tone, "'Di nga? You don't know every single thing about me, Mal. Assuming ka masyado."

"Alam ko nga anong cup size mo. Wala lang 'yang shoe and dress size."

You slapped his shoulder, cheeks quickly flushing red, "Huy, umayos ka! Walang hiyang tikbalang na 'to." With this guy as your best friend? You heard dirty jokes at least once a day. "Don't be inappropriate here!"

"What? It's only fair I know!" He looked down on you suggestively, wiggling his eyebrows. "You already know I always go commando, so of course I know that your bra is a size—"

"Shhh! Baka marinig ka, 'nyeta."

"So? Let them hear. My best friend has a nice set of melons!" he shouted. You were grateful there was no one around. Hopefully.

"Oh my God..."

Your best friend chortled at how flustered you'd become. He led you to where some of his family was waiting, with a couple of his relatives already greeting you. You instantly and quite easily mingled with them, your worries of them not accepting you far from even true (they all knew how much their prince loved the innocent you).

"Kayo na talaga, pare?" one of his older tikbalang clanmates asked while you went away to be fawned over by his aunts.

Maliksi chuckled, crossing his arms as he watched you from afar, "Heh. Hindi pa."

Another one of his clanmates—a younger one—laughed, wrapping an arm around his shoulder, "Talaga? That's cap, bro. You two are like a married couple already and you guys still aren't a thing?"

"Ilang taon na ba kayong magkakaibigan?" the older one asked him.

"Almost ten years," Maliksi responded, a smile unconsciously pulling his lips up as he remembered your moments together. He watched you converse with his female relatives (who adored you the moment Maliksi brought you to a family event many moons ago).

The two tikbalang snickered as they saw the look on the Great Stallion's heir.

"You're down bad," the younger one said, snapping a photo of his lovestruck kuya. "You've got it so bad for her, dudeparechong!"

"Balak mong ligawan anytime soon?" the older tikbalang inquired.

"Heh. Balak ko na ngang pakasalan. Kung pwede, ngayon."

They looked at Maliksi as if he was crazy. He was very much serious, though, even if there was a huge, lopsided smile on his face. The Prince of the Tikbalang raised a brow at them.

"What? Don't give me that look. Our ten years of being best friends is practically the courting and the dating stage already."

"Eh... you're right. Don't waste anymore time. Go and marry her today, dude. Suporta kami sa'yo, basta groomsmen kami sa kasal niyo, ha!"

"Ge. Without question."

Meanwhile, on your end with the ladies of the family, they started pestering you on your love life (like all typical Filipino aunties). Chismis everywhere.

"O, iha, single ka pa ba?"

"Kailan ka magpapakasal? Malapit ka nang pumasok sa thirties mo."

"Do you want kids? How many?"

"Are you and Maliksi a couple? You look good together! Kayo na, 'di ba?"

"Will you be getting married next? Are you engaged? When's the wedding? Invite niyo kami!"

Before you could get overwhelmed by their questions, Maliksi swept you off your feet to lead you to the entourage that was lining up outside the chapel area. Again, it happened like a blur. He laughed at the partially nauseated look on your face.

"You okay there?" he asked, grinning.

"Your family thinks we're together," you muttered quietly, not meeting his eyes. You weren't sure why you felt... tingly about their statements.

He tilted his head at you curiously, gently setting you down on your feet and helping you stand.

"Do you hate the idea?" It hurt him to ask you the question, but he wanted your thoughts on it. Perhaps doing this was a bad idea. Maliksi was competitive in many things, including wanting you to be his, but if you were so opposed to it, he would never force you into something you didn't want. He let go of your hand; you didn't even notice he'd been holding it until he let go. "Am I making you uncomfortable?"

Your wide-eyed gaze snapped back to look up at him, "No! No, it's not that! And... it's not bad." Your hand felt strangely empty now that his was gone. Biting your lip, you disclosed, "You're not making me uncomfortable, Mal. Don't ever think that."

With that, you shyly interlocked your arm with his, tearing your eyes from his to mask the growing warmth you felt spreading in your veins. You two didn't say anything else when the ushers let you walk down the beautiful, petal-covered aisle together.

The man beside you was starstruck. Hopeful. Maybe both of you did have a chance. Maybe somewhere in the depths of your soul, his feelings for you were being reciprocated. For the rest of the sacred ceremony in the gorgeous main pavilion, both of you relished in short, comfortable, and low conversations. He even cracked jokes every once in a while—really funny ones that made it challenging for you to you stifle your laughter.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife! You may kiss the bride."

Maliksi fervently prayed to Bathala that he'd experience the same opportunity he was seeing with you someday. One day.

Even while the sun was brightly out, the sky began showering down light rain onto the land. You were in awe as you looked out the window.

"Hala, totoo nga pala! Tignan mo!" you laughed, tugging Maliksi's suit sleeve, pointing at the window.

"Na ano?" he curiously inquired, not understanding what you were referring to.

"Na kapag may tikbalang na kinakasal, umuulan habang may araw pa," you replied, eyes filled with childlike mirth and wonder. A rainbow had even begun to form by the clouds. "Look, it's magical! Ang ganda pala ng view dito kasama ang old Spanish architecture. Timeless na timeless. It's so pretty, 'no? Picture tayo 'maya, Mal."

Unlike you, it wasn't the sky outside that the prince was looking at. Amidst the loud cheers for the newlywed couple and the bubbles the guests were blowing, his vision could only focus on how magnificent you looked while being amazed. You were his best view. (Ed from 90-Day Fiancé, kabahan ka na, may katapat ka sa pickup line mo.)

》》》

"Smile for the picture!"

You giggled as Maliksi was dragged into a photo-op with the bridesmaids and the important older wedding sponsors a few feet away (funnily, he looked a little constipated around them). All of a sudden, when he was heading back to your direction, you were roughly pushed into the said man's arms. When you turned around, there was nothing (except maybe a gust of wind that came out of nowhere).

"Ooh, gotcha. Careful," the tikbalang steadied you, strong hands holding your biceps. "Natapilok ka?"

"... Huh, hindi naman," you wondered suspiciously, looking around. "I think someone pushed me? Parang tinulak ako... but wala namang tao."

"Weird. Maybe it was just the wind."

It actually was. Really. Maliksi knew for a fact that it was those two taong hangin who were spying on you from the corner, trying to pair you up. He gave them a thumbs-up while your back was turned in the opposite direction. Hannah and Amie returned the thumbs-up before vanishing. Suddenly, the two wedding photographers had moved on from the bridesmaids and were right beside you.

"What a lovely couple you two are!" she praised. Before you could correct her, she held up the black contraption she held towards you two. "Pose for the camera, lovelies!"

And so you did, the photographer guiding you two on what to do. Maliksi wrapped his arm around your waist and you leaned on his side, looking sidewards to the camera with one leg cocked in front of the other. Her assistant, who was holding a polaroid camera, printed out two photos for you.

"Thank you," you told him, taking the photos from his hands then flicking them rapidly to make the images develop. You and Mal were about to walk to the reception area when the photographer stopped you, handing the male beside you a business card.

"If you two need a photographer or a videographer for your wedding, call me," she signaled to both of you before running to another guest, bringing her assistant with her.

You gawked, "Mal, did you just hear what she said?"

"Loud and clear." A grin was on his face. He seemed very pleased at what he heard.

"... How can she even tell if someone is married or not?"

Maliksi's free hand took your left hand, tapping the ring finger, "Nothing here."

"Ooooooh. I get it now." Your brows creased. "Huh. This is like the fifth time today the people here have mistaken us for a couple."

Maliksi shrugged, teasing you, "Who knows? Baka may potential tayo, babe."

Before you could ask him what he meant, he was hurriedly towing you to the reception venue. While he was doing that, you stared at the now-developed polaroid photos you were holding. Huh. Maybe you two did look like a couple.

"Come on, they're serving some snacks at the welcome reception area. Peach pie and mango float-flavored. Paborito mo, babe."

》》》

The rest of the night went by without a hitch. You were actually enjoying the event—the host was great, the food was great, the music was great. Everything was great... that was, until the games.

"Alright! Now that the bride's garter has been removed, let's have the bouquet and garter toss... starting with the females!" the host announced. "Dear bride, please stay here in front. And all single ladies—and by single I mean ready to mingle and are not married—please rise and stand here on the dance floor. Let's play matchmaker tonight, everyone!"

"Uy, single ladies daw," Maliksi nudged your side. "Sign mo na 'yan." You snorted like a pig.

"Nope, ayokong madamay sa bouquet toss," you whisper-yelled at your best friend. "Do you know how embarrassing that is?! Besides, they won't notice if I don't join! Special tactic ko 'yan sa weddings: pretending I'm not single. Katabi naman kita."

More women came to the front, making you feel assured that you didn't need to participate. The host was about to say something, when the bride interrupted to whisper something into his ear.

"Hala, halaaa! Sabi ko all single ladies, pero may isang single lady na nagtatago pa!" he announced, making you freeze. Please don't let it be you. "What's her name, beloved bride?"

"Y/N L/N." You nearly spat out your champagne. You? Did they just call out your name? How did they know?

"Oh fuck," you cursed quietly.

"'Di ka makakatakas dito, babe," Maliksi jabbed, making you stand up. "Tinatawag ka na."

"Baka may ibang Y/N L/N dito," you resisted, attempting to sit back down. "I can't do this, Mal."

"'Sus, ikaw pa. And it's just a symbolic ceremony!" he encouraged, as if he didn't have any underlying intentions. "I doubt the bouquet will go to you anyway."

Sheesh, what a big fat liar you are, tikbalang prince.

You expressed your dissatisfaction with the situation, "Bwiset, fine. I'll just... dodge it. Or evade it. God, I swear..." You calmed down, confident. "I'm not going to worry. I've never caught the bouquet at my own friends' weddings anyway."

When you were at the dance floor, Maliksi snickered, seeing the bride—his cousin—wink at him. After all, he had thoroughly bribed her earlier.

《《《

"It's about time you settled down with someone, Mal," the bride commented while he slipped her the newest Hermés designer bag filled with a bunch of jewelry (plus some bills) two hours ago, right before the reception began and while you were in the restroom freshening up. "Hehehe, this is why you're my favorite cousin."

"Do we have a deal?"

"Of course. I'll make sure she participates. I'll also try to throw it in her direction."

"Good. Thanks."

"You better invite me to your beach wedding. I can tell how much you love her."

"Not a problem. I'll even make you a sponsor."

The bride stared at her bouquet, already practicing how she was going to throw it, "Tito's going to thank me so much for ensuring that he's going to get grandkids soon, hihi."

》》》

Back to the present, on the other end of the room, Maliksi saw a familiar duo give him a sign that they were ready. Bingo. Time to execute the most important part of his plan.

《《《

"I don't care how you do it," he told the two wind elementals after he bribed the bride. "I've already instructed the bride on what she should do, pero siguraduhin niyo lang talagang lumipad sa kanya ang bouquet."

"Mmhmm," Amie flipped her hair, a hand on her cocked hip. "And what do we get in return, oh great Señorito Armanaz?"

"Sagot ko bar-hopping niyo for one month."

The two girls pretended to think about it, making Maliksi roll his eyes. He had to pull out the big guns, huh?

"Fine. Magbibigay ako ng cash deposit plus pwede niyong gamitin ang black card ko for a one-week shopping spree in Ortigas." There. Bullseye. That's what they liked.

"Deal!" they exclaimed excitedly.

Hannah let a cool gust of wind enter one of the nearby windows, testing out how they're going to do this. "Ano pa bang pinaplano mo for Y/N mamaya?"

Maliksi hummed, "Basta."

》》》

You tried your best to hide within the densest part of the group of women. The bride seemed to have her eyes on you, weirdly enough, and she looked almost feral wanting to throw her flowers into someone's face.

That someone being you. Most likely.

"Target locked on," you saw her mouth move. She positioned herself like she was about to throw a football at someone (ahem, you). Holy shit, was she talking to you? Miss ma'am, it was a bouquet toss not a bouquet throw. The bride seemed to notice this, and once more regained her elegant composure.

"3, 2, 1," the host counted down. "Go!"

Surprisingly, the bouquet flew very high into the air (it was a wonder it didn't get tangled in the ceiling decor), but quite a distance away from you. You grinned, knowing it was too far to even touch you. Squeezing through the crowd of women eagerly awaiting the bouquet, you went to return to your assigned table.

Ah, what a wonderful evening.

Sike!

Something painfully landed right into your face, leaves and flowers getting into your hair and mouth.

... Wait, leaves and flowers?

Before you could comprehend it, the bouquet dropped right into your arms. What kind of ungodly, inhuman force allowed this to even happen?

"Ladies and gentlemen, we have our lucky girl for the night!" Everyone clapped, with some—those guests you knew—even cheering your name unbelievably loud. The host approached you, a glint in his eye which you couldn't understand. "Miss Y/N, kindly sit here while we await the lucky guy who catches the garter from the groom."

What just happened?

"All single gentlemen, please proceed to the dance floor. Remember, the man who gets the garter gets to slip it onto the lucky lady's leg later!"

Oh, God. You pinched the bridge of your nose. What you'd give to be back at home or to be in that resort in Batangas you'd planned on going to for a solo vacation.

"To make this even more exciting," the host stated, handing you a black blindfold. "Our lucky lady has to keep her eyes closed until her lucky man for the night captures the bride's garter! When the music plays, only then can she uncover her eyes."

See? Humiliating, just as you expected. Still, you wrapped the blindfold around your head (albeit hesitantly). You attempted to guess who it might be, thinking of all the tikbalang friends Maliksi had introduced to you back then whenever he invited you to his clan reunions.

"Groom, are you ready?" the host asked, microphone loud and clear.

"Ready na ready!"

"Single gentlemen, are you ready?!"

"Ready na ready! Awoo, awoo!" they loudly chorused, exactly mimicking Spartans about to engage in battle. You sweatdropped in the seat you were in. This was actually kind of scary. Maybe you felt a bit objectified.

"3, 2, 1, go!"

There was a brief moment of silence, which made you concerned. Ba't ang tahimik? Then, everyone erupted into roars and bravoes much louder than when you caught the bouquet—perhaps even louder by tenfold. What the heck was happening?!

The music played. Very raunchy, spicy, babymaking music. You expected it to be the typical Careless Whisper by George Michael or Pony by Ginuwine (corny songs which you could probably laugh at, at least), but no. Nuh-uh, this was probably worse. The DJ must be pretty young, the song of their choosing being a slowed, bass-boosted, sexier remix of Earned It by the Weeknd.

Ano 'to, bold? Fifty Shades of Grey? The hell was this?

Alright. This was embarrassing. Thank the heavens there were no children at this party. From the music alone and its implications, this was strictly for adults.

You removed your blindfold (that was okay now, right?) as the guests whistled playfully. You peeked one eye open reluctantly, then inwardly groaned. Oh, no. You should've expected it to be him of all people from how loud the reactions were. And all those yells from the crowd were from his family.

Son of a—

"Well, this has proven to be a very interesting arrangement!" the host proclaimed. "Our lucky man for tonight is none other than our great clan leader's heir, Maliksi Armanaz! Congratulations, sir! You get to slip the lacey little garter on Miss Y/N!"

The said very smug tikbalang stood a few feet away from the chair you were sitting on, smirking at you. His hair was no longer in that mesmerizing ponytail—instead, he'd tied it into a more sinfully attractive man-bun, loose strands framing his face and accentuating that sharp, angled jaw of his (say yes and thank you to Manny Jacinto's jawline, besties).

"Let's cheer him on in his new mission, everybody!" the host pushed. Was this that glint in his eye earlier? And was that a one thousand peso bill sticking out of his pocket?

The groomsmen, Mal's cousins and uncles whom you've met before, hollered words of encouragement to the tall man (who was, oddly enough, not one bit fazed). In fact, Maliksi seemed like he was famished as he stared you down.

You swallowed, feeling like you were going to get eaten (heh, say that again). Maliksi had shrugged off his dark suit blazer to the beat of the song (holy fuck, he also unclasped the suspenders attached to his pants right before your eyes—asdfghjkl). Were you prepared for this? No. Will you ever be prepared? No!

"Mr. Armanaz, before you begin," the host interrupted. "We have an additional challenge for you in this mission. Kaya mo ba? It was a request of the newlywed couple."

"What is it?"

"Use your teeth!" the bride and the groom cheerfully shouted, clapping with the other guests. Whatdidtheysaaaaay???

The cocky bastard didn't even hesitate, his smirk at you growing wider; those pearly whites of his on full display. Was it just you or were his canines a little sharper than usual?

"Anything for the newlyweds. Challenge accepted," he dashingly replied, winking at you. You sputtered indignantly. Pisteng yawa. Putangina. Putek. Pakshet. You swore you thought of every swear word in the book at that moment. What did that YouTube parody song about Filipino mythological creatures say again? About the tikbalang? Ah, yes. Half-macho dancer and half-stallion. Maybe the joke was true, especially when you saw what Maliksi did next.

He bit the shred of lace, loosening his necktie (bestie, you good there?), unbuttoning some top buttons, and rolling up the sleeves of his collared white undershirt up to his elbows (consequently showing off his toned, veiny forearms—those lucky bridesmaids behind him nearly fainted). Honestly, you felt like you were about to lose your mind from embarrassment. With how tantalizing your guy best friend was being? Let our response be: San Pedro, kunin mo na ako. Was he doing all this to tease you? To rile you up?

Because damn it all, it was working. In your ten years of knowing Maliksi Armanaz, withstanding all his daily dirty jokes and flirtatious attempts, never had you seen him like this. So... wolfish. Ravenous. Like he was a man that hadn't been fed in years.

He stalked closer towards you, falling to his knees in front of your legs. Your gown had a long slit that extended up to an inch or two below where your left leg began—your best friend was eyeing his target already, knowing where to place the garter. Normally, you would never even wear something as revealing as this gown. It just wasn't your type, but Maliksi was the one who bought this for you for this specific occasion, so you had no choice. It was this or your pantulog he stole you in just hours ago. At first, you were confident in the gown. Now? You felt too... naked.

Somehow, in the heat of it all, you'd muted out the noise of the venue. Maliksi teasingly lifted your foot up, fingertips slyly grazing the thin shoe straps around your left foot—his calculated touch leaving fire in its trail. Once the garter had been successfuly inserted past your high-heeled stilettos, the man kneeling in front of you kept his hands to himself. Despite the fact that now there was absolutely zero skin-to-skin contact between you and this man, your body felt hotter than it ever was before as he expertly slid the lacy bit of cloth up your ankle at an agonizingly slow pace.

Maliksi's warm eyes had turned dark, his pupils blown, a tinge of red in them—of his true beast—while he maintained striking eye contact with you, pulling the garter up your calf with his teeth. Smoothly tugging... tugging... tugging. Tangina, it was like he was undressing you with his eyes alone; like he was telepathically telling you to keep your eyes open.

To keep your eyes on him, where he was knelt inbetween your legs, his hands intentionally locked on his back. Did you ever imagine this? Him between your legs? Maybe. Once or twice. But you never thought about it seriously; Maliksi dated girls left and right in the past.

His lips... his lips were so close... so close to your leg that you could feel the heat of his breath along with the lace. Were you about to die? Perhaps you already did. Maybe you were in heaven. Up... up... up... snap!

Suddenly, he stopped, grinning up at you mischievously and letting the elastic bounce back to the skin of your left knee.

"I'm not going any further, don't worry, babe," he whispered, noting that your eyes had become misty and glazed over. Internally, he grew worried. "That's enough." Did he think it was from discomfort? From you being uncomfortable? Bitch, no. It was the exact opposite. You had never been this turned on in your entire life.

You felt like your soul had left your body at that moment. Did you just have a heart attack? Was your blood pressure okay? Before you or Maliksi could stand, however, someone bellowed from the wedding sponsor tables.

"Higher! That's an order!"

Fucking hell, it was Maliksi's father who shouted. He wasn't in the huge tikbalang form you'd normally meet him in, but he was still very intimidating in his humanoid form, commanding attention and subservience wherever he went. You could tell where Maliksi got it from.

Instantly, the other guests—already half-drunk and wanting the spirit of partying to continue on—joined in.

"Higher! Higher!"

The host cheered, "You heard Señor Armanaz! Higher!"

Maliksi gave you a questioning look. Even if it was his father who spoke up, he still wouldn't do anything you didn't want. Well, you two made it this far; there was no point in getting embarrassed now. You bit the inside of your cheek, nodding. You probably couldn't erase the redness on your skin with how much you'd blushed from this night. It was as if the heat was tattooed onto your skin.

"Go on, Mal," you whispered to him, bending your torso down closer to his face, eyes half-lidded from want. "Finish what you started, babe."

With those sultry bedroom eyes he'd never once seen you show him before—plus you turning the tables with that familiar term of endearment, how could he refuse? Like a switch had been flipped inside him, he immediately complied, taking the frilly scrap of stretchy lace between his teeth once more, moving it further up to your thighs until where your high slit ended—centimeters below the warming juncture between your legs.

Your legs felt wobbly... boneless, as you stood up from the chair, the fabric of your gown cascading over where the lace sat securely on your upper left thigh. The party was still going strong even after you two finished the garter wearing tradition.

"'Atta boy! That's my son!" Señor Armanaz blazoned, standing up and raising his glass for a toast. "Cheers to the newlywed couple! May they last forever!"

You guys weren't the newlyweds, but it did sure feel like it. If the clan leader was hyped up, everyone was hyped up. Heck, the groom and the bride didn't mind one bit what had just transpired on their dance floor. In all the chaos, Maliksi took you out of the reception area and somewhere quieter. More private.

You would need to have a serious, urgent talk with your boy best friend.

》》》

You two silently sat on a stone bench in a gazebo somewhere in the reserved venue for the wedding, trying to cool down and get yourselves back together (at this point, you needed ice from that steamy, half-scandalous event you just went through). Here, there was no one else except for the chirping of crickets, the lush trees surrounding the area, and the golden fairy lights strewn all over the roof. Awkwardness was something you'd expected after what just happened, but somehow, you still felt comfort in this man's presence. For the past thirty minutes, both of you just stayed still, lost in your thoughts and reflecting.

"Mal?" you finally spoke up.

"... Hmm?"

"Ano tayo?"

"Whatever you want us to be."

Your fingers instinctively reached out for his, just like they always did when you were anxious. Sensing this, he grasped your hand and squeezed it reassuringly. Soothingly. He massaged the skin of your fingers, distracting you from your nervousness. It seemed like both nothing and everything changed between both of you. The gesture was the same, but so different at the same time.

"Mahal mo ako." It was not a question. It was a statement. A truth—one that you'd been too blind to see before. One that you only discovered while you stared into each other's eyes in that party not as best friends. You realized with a jolt in your heart what he really felt for you, and now, what you really felt for him. In those thirty minutes of silence, you knew. You just knew.

"Yes. I do."

"... Just as a best friend?" you probed.

"..."

Finally, you gazed into his eyes, previously so dark and full of hunger. Now? Just reluctant. Vulnerable. Open. Unsure of what to do next.

Seems like you had to be the one to take initiative tonight. Taking out your phone, you opened your music app and pressed play on a certain song. Ikaw at Ako by Johnoy Danao. You removed your heels (which were starting to blister your ankles and toes), then pulled him up to stand.

"Dance with me," you murmured, grabbing his arms to wrap them around your waist. He was stiff. Tense. What was he to do when the woman he's been pining after for so long let him hold her? All his gallantry and ability to romance disappeared out the window the moment you let him touch you so intimately.

You two weren't even waltzing. Just swaying. Slowly, you leaned your head on his broad chest, listening to the steady thump of his heart.

"... I love you," Maliksi admitted in the middle of it all, feeling like he was dreaming. Your head on his chest kept him grounded to reality, however. "More than anything in the universe. I fell for you ever since you patched me up when you were nineteen and I was a reckless drag racer who didn't have a purpose in life. 'Nung dinala mo ako pabalik sa Armanaz Tower on the verge of death. Simula noon, ikaw lang."

"I realized that," you smiled, reminiscing the old memory. You were just a broke college student that time, coming back to your dorm from making your group thesis at a classmate's house. Imagine your panic when you found a half-man, half-horse bleeding out by some bushes on the way home at night. Despite your fear and your little money (only enough to feed you for the week), you went out of your way to buy a first-aid kit at the nearest 7/11. It was scary, but you managed to mend the creature's wounds by the side of the road. When he was finally able to speak, turning fully human (which you admit, freaked you out initially), you arduously carried him back to his address—to his father and his clan, even if you had classes the very next morning. Because of your heroic deed of saving their precious heir, the tikbalang clan had become indebted to you: a teenage girl on the verge of a mental academic breakdown, just making her way through the cruel adult world. How old of a memory that was, you thought, yet you still recalled it in perfect detail. "Just a while ago."

"Ah." He swayed you gently.

"Lahat ng ito, plano mo?"

"... Yes," Maliksi fessed up. "Except for this part where we're here dancing in this belvedere. Wala sa plano ko. Gusto ko sanang magconfess doon sa may fountain para sweet, pero..."

You lifted your head off his chest, smiling at him with one brow raised, "You know, between both of us, you're supposed to be the spontaneous one. Planning isn't usually your thing."

"I know. It's a failure, huh?" Maliksi sighed.

"Nah." You shook your head, then suddenly locked lips with him. It was so fast and surprising he didn't even get the chance to return your first kiss. For once, you caught him off guard. You pecked him on the lips again. "It's not a failure."

"Wha—"

"I'm sorry for making you wait, Maliksi. Ten years. We're twenty-nine now, and only tonight do I realize how blind I've been. We've been going around in circles, wasting so much time. Ayoko nang mag-aksaya ng oras," you whispered guiltily against his lips. How could you have been so blind? Andaming nasayang na taon. Making up your mind, you told him, "Yes. Sige, I accept. I'll be your plus one."

The tikbalang was flustered and baffled from the kiss, as well as your revelation, "... But, you already are?"

"No, silly. I meant that I'll be your plus one for life. For as long as you'll have me," you laughed, now processing that you were currently dancing barefoot with your boy best friend and had just kissed him in a wedding you didn't even plan on going to. The universe had a mysterious way of doing things. "Guess I'm the spontaneous one now, huh?"

Maliksi was tongue-tied. "Seryoso ka ba? Is... Is this a marriage proposal?"

"Whatever you want it to be," you echoed his words back to him. "Best friend, plus one, girlfriend, wife—mmpf!"

He kissed you so hard your lips bruised. After an impromptu makeout session which was definitely more in character for Maliksi, you both pulled away, panting heavily in search for air, still desperate for passion. He cupped your cheeks, giving you a sweet, featherlight Eskimo kiss.

"You're missing one more title."

"Hm? What do you mean, Mal?"

"Love of my life." He kissed you again, this time lifting you off your feet and spinning you around (his sneaky right hand was resting on your bum, too, giving it a tight squeeze). You know in the Princess Diaries where the main character's foot just... pops whenever the prince charming kissed her? Yeah, that happened to you on that humid summer night. This was right. You two were meant to be together. Everything was falling into place.

The bungalow you reserved for your Batangas vacation leave ended up being the site of your very eventful honeymoon with the Prince of the Tikbalang (with his libido, it wasn't that difficult to continue where you'd left off in the garter toss; that scrap of lace came off your leg the same way it went on). Actually, nauna pa ang honeymoon sa actual wedding (it was definitely spontaneous). Right after your confession in that alcove, you two went to Maliksi's father to ask for his blessing (which he gladly gave, cackling and saying that it took you long enough) before you guys went driving off to Batangas that night. You and Mal indeed had lots and lots of fun in that resort (I'll let you imagine the rest). More beautiful memories were made from that point on—this time, not just as best friends.

All that and your small, intimate wedding occurred in early April. Just when you thought that it'd be impossible to fulfill Maliksi's life goal of having a baby within the year (nine months of pregnancy meant that the earliest you'd give birth would be January next year), the impossible happened.

Exactly thirty-two weeks later, on New Year's Eve, the Armanaz herd welcomed one prince and two new princesses into the world. Triplets who were instantly adored by everyone in the clan.

Señor Armanaz had never been happier, and so were you and your husband. Your best friend. The love of your life. Your forever plus one.

Maybe being spontaneous wasn't so bad after all.

Taglist: @belladaises @binibiningbabaylan @4kodzuk3n @sparklingmallow @severuslovebot @holyshxtangel @marinac15 @space-flamingo @pippethealien @kashasenpai @disappointmentpastry @hornehlittleweeblet2 @seijohoe @monimiin @ibelievein2dmensupremacy @tinybonksharkcop @methehipster @banisuoh @genshin-idiot @lemonnie-kimmie

[atlantis-scribe]

Okay I really do love Atlantis, but the amount that some people woobify Rodney actually drives me crazy. And I actually love Rodney as a character but like my boy's an asshole sometimes!! like he's not a perpetual victim, let him be wrong about stuff and grow and improve as a person!! (also the recurring theme of having random women in his life be abusive for... no textual reason?? is a little sus) like I'm getting to the point where I can hardly (1/2)

(2/2) enjoy hurt/comfort with Rodney bc I'm so wary of this... which just makes me sad 😭 Really sorry for ranting in your inbox you are my fave Atlantis blog and I like your take on Rondey

hello there!

please don’t apologize for ranting. my inbox is always open to rants. they’re encouraged, even! (long as I get to rant back lol)

and my oh my is this one of the topics that also get me going, particularly because 1) Rodney is also my favorite character, 2) I, too, see this woobification tendency, and 3) it’s complicated af & touches on several running themes not just in Stargate but in almost all fandoms.

• the Rodney Woobification is ancient practice. the SGA (specifically McShep) fan community has been around for a while now, and the Stargate fandom as a whole is even the birthplace of many established tropes that people still use to this day (Daniel Whump, anyone?). I understand the appeal. hell, I love angst and hurt & comfort for reasons almost exactly the same as other people who woobify characters love to do their thing. I don’t always comment on it (I don’t wanna be That Dick raining on other people’s parades) because it’s a slippery slope that so often leads to outright gatekeeping. there’s really just a fine line between being critical of fic characterization — being ‘true’ to the source material — and having fun with fannish works (specifically, using art as an outlet to do the most bizarre things polite society would ostracize you for)

• that being said, I am also not a big fan of woobie!Rodney. there’s a reason why I had such a visceral reaction to the Post-Trinity Phenomenon & the Lemon Chicken trope.

you have to understand, I came into the fandom a little over two years ago. about a decade too late, really. all the stories have been written, the takes taken, and the discourse over & done with. it’s pretty lonely, but the fun is in trying to sift thru what the OG fans left behind. so to stumble upon such a treasure trove of fics with the same running theme and have such a fierce ‘Nope!’ reaction was pretty memorable. I love Trinity because the Rodney in that episode was allowed to be his most obnoxious, his most arrogant, his most unlikable, but still remain layered & nuanced & complex, and that’s pretty damn good writing there. I saw the ‘asshole’ label when I bought it, after all. I certainly don’t want it erased or buried under a rug. I want it explored.

• canon writing is a-whole-nother problem altogether. it’s hard to justify exactly what makes Rodney (& Sheppard & Weir & everyone else) genuine or true to form, because —  let’s be honest — SGA is not a prime example of stellar TV writing and/or storytelling. it’s addictive as all hell, but it’s severely flawed, and that includes how it handled consistency in characterization. this brings us back to the dangers of gatekeeping and yelling at other people for how they write (however beloved) ‘public domain’ fictional characters.

• what I want to advocate now in terms of woobie!Rodney is for other fans to maybe examine why they like Rodney. is it because we are all just weak for white, asshole geniuses who are shippable with other white (often same gender, often male) assholes? if that’s the case, and you want to continue making your content, go ahead. it’s frankly a pretty boring reason, but we’re all boring nerds here. some more than others. just, you know, tag properly & don’t be rude to other fans who may have different reasons.

me? I love Rodney because yes, he’s a white asshole genius (that archetype is like crack for real) but portrayed so wonderfully by a very talented actor that it left me with a nuanced character whose gaps I can fill with attributes I want to analyze as a lifelong fan of the human condition who occasionally writes fics for popular media. woobifying him would be a disservice to how I see him & the things I love about him, which would then render me unable to enjoy the Rodney I ‘stan’. that would defeat the entire purpose of why I engage with the fandom, because at the end of the day, I’m here to have fun.

• so no matter how much I (and you as well, I suspect, my dear anon) would want to police this practice, it just isn’t our place. the best (and the right) thing for us to do is curate our fandom experience and create the content we actually want to consume. who knows, we may just convince / inspire enough people so there’d be more of the same kind of things we enjoy out there :)

- kit

[calamitykaty]

Ohana

Request- what if the cast (Madison Charlie, Owen Jeremy in an apartment together) was stuck in quarantine together with the lock down happen and they try navigate through it all and try not get in each other nerves, big brothers to mads...

WORD COUNT: 1999

WARNINGS: NONE, JUST A BUNCH OF WHOLESOME FLUFF

Owen, Charlie, Madison and Jeremy set themselves in different areas of the apartment as they prepared for yet another Zoom interview, the third one of the week. Charlie opted to take himself outside on the balcony, Madison took the kitchen table while Jeremy and Owen both set up in their respective rooms. 

“Hey guys!” The interviewer called out 

“Hi!” Madison chirped back followed by a “how you doin’” from Charlie. Jeremy came in with “Hi! It’s nice to meet you!” and Owen fumbled his entrance with  “Good Morning...or Afternoon...I don’t know where you are.” 

They went through the interview questions with ease, at this point they had heard the same questions over and over and though they tried their best the answers started to be the same too. 

“Charlie, I saw that you posted on Instagram that you all four of you are quarantining together, how is that going?” The interviewer asked and Charlie welcomed the question. 

“Oh! Gosh! It’s so much fun….well, I mean, most of the time!” Charlie laughed.

“Uh oh!” The interviewer responded. 

“No,...no, it’s all good! Owen just has a bad habit of not washing his dishes and leaving clothes all over the apartment!” Charlie revealed. 

“Oop! Not you calling people out Charlie” Madison responded with her hand over her mouth. 

Jeremy laughed, clapping his hands together and Owen chimed in “Ok, Charlie, Okay...I may be messy but at least I eat like a normal human being!” 

“Expose him!” Madi yelled out “Charlie over here eating peanut butter on his eggs…” 

They wrapped up the interview and each headed to the living room “peanut butter eggs, really, Mads?” Charlie flicked her in the forehead as he walked by her to sit on the couch. 

Madison shrugged her shoulders “...that’s what you get for coming at Owen…”

Charlie pulled out his phone and scrolled through Instagram, reposting some fan art and replying to comments before he got a notification that Owen had tagged him in a post. Charlie clicked on the video and groaned when he saw it was a video of him eating another weird food combo. Owen immediately started laughing when he saw Charlie’s face and the two boys started play fighting in the middle of the living room. 

Jeremy watched for approximately two minutes before getting up and going back to his room to facetime his wife. 

“You guys are himbos” Madison muttered under her breath.

Charlie stopped mid-way through tackling Owen and turned around to Madison, his face twisted in confusion “Huh?” 

Owen laughed, “what does that even mean?” 

Charlie turned back towards Owen “Dude, I swear she speaks a whole ‘nother language than us.”

Madison rolled her eyes and stood up “I’m going to my room to go live with my fantoms, you guys are idiots.” 

Charlie pushed out of Owen’s grasp and plopped back down on the couch. He grabbed the remote control and mindlessly flipped through the channels before landing on some old school cartoons.He sighed a happy sigh and laid his head down on the pillow propped up by the arm of the couch. Jeremy joined Charlie in the living with a smile plastered to his face. Charlie looked up at him from his spot on the couch, wiggling his eyebrows, which, in turn caused Jeremy to pull the pillow out from underneath his head and hit him in the face with it. 

“Get your head out of the gutter, Charlie” Jeremy huffed and sat down in the oversized chair adjacent to the couch “you are exhausting to live with” he muttered, his right pointer finger scrolling through his Instagram page lazily. 

“Yeah, Charlie, you’re like the worst to live with.” Owen snickered.Charlie flicked him in the back of the head. 

Jeremy looked up from his phone “I don’t know why you’re laughing,Owen...i’m pretty sure you’re growing a science experiment in your dirty dishes.”  

“Ugh..fine, MOM! I will go wash my dishes, happy?” Owen rolled his eyes and made his way to the kitchen with slumped shoulders. 

The two brown haired boys sat in silence, both scrolling through Instagram and  going through the endless amount of art, edits and covers that the fans had tagged them in. Charlie added some of his favorites to his story and commented on others as he saw fit. Every few minutes he would laugh under his breath and turn his phone to Jeremy who would laugh as well with an occasional “send me that one…” muttered into the otherwise silent air. 

“I thought Mads was on live?” Charlie cocked his head back to look at Jeremy for an answer after noticing her profile wasn’t live at the top of his screen. 

“She was for a little bit” Jeremy confirmed “she ended it like, I don’t know...an hour ago?” Jeremy shrugged. 

Charlie swung his legs to the side and sat up before pulling himself off of the couch and making his way to the teenage girls bedroom. Her door was cracked the tiniest bit but Charlie still lifted his knuckles and lightly tapped the door. He pushed the door open when he didn’t get a response from the girl and peered into her room. The walls had a purple glow reflecting off of them from the lights that ran across the molding. Madison was curled up in the middle of the bed but from her shaking body he knew she wasn’t napping. Charlie walked further into her room and sat on the foot of her bed and leaned forward, gently placing his hand on the girl's shoulder. 

“Mads?” Charlie said gently, concern laced in his voice. 

Madison squeezed her stuff ghost to her chest and shook her head at Charlie. 

“Hey...hey, what’s wrong?” Charlie grabbed her left hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. Madison sucked in a shaky breath, wiped her tears from her face with the back of her right hand and sat up. She pulled her knees to her chest and laid her head on the tops of them, staring at the wall. 

“I w-wanna g-g-go home” the curly haired girl got out between small sobs, the tears falling steadily from her eyes again. 

Charlie’s face softened at the words. He remembered what it was like when he first left home for the great unknown, it was hard, and even if he was surrounded by great people, he still felt lonely sometimes too. Charlie pulled the girl forward by the wrists until her head was hooked over his shoulder and his arms wrapped around her. His right hand ran up and down her back trying to calm her down. They sat like that in silence, her tears slowly soaking through the fabric of his shirt on his shoulder. 

“You know you can always talk to us, right, Mads? Like, we aren’t ever going to judge you, you know that, yeah?” Charlie spoke softly. Madison pulled away from Charlie and wiped the last remaining tears from her cheeks as she nodded her head.

“I’ll be out in a little bit...I just need a minute” Madison gave Charlie the tiniest hint of a smile, letting him know that she was going to be ok. 

“Ok” Charlie agreed and left the girl to herself, closing the door behind him. He made his way back to the living room where Owen and Jeremy were in the middle of a game of Death By Daylight. 

“Hey, Himbo’s” Charlie greeted. 

“You don’t even know what that means, idiot.” Owen muttered. 

Charlie shrugged and grabbed the tv remote before turning the TV off without notice and eliciting angry “Hey’s” from the other two boys. He leaned back in the chair and glanced down the hallway to make sure Madison’s door was still closed.

He leaned forward and placed his elbows on his knees. “We need to do something like...really, really spectacular for Madi. She is really homesick and upset.” His eyes switched between the two boys as they threw ideas back and forth before Jeremy came through with the game-winning plan. 

“None of us can really cook so why don’t we order some Empanadas and Elote from that small hole-in-the-wall place that Madi likes and then we set up a zoom with her family and some of her friends for a movie night. We can get DoorDash to deliver some popcorn and snacks to us too so it’ll be like, a whole thing.” 

“Dude, Jer, you’re a genius!” Owen exclaimed and Charlie nodded his head in agreement. The three boys quickly got to work to arrange everything. Charlie ordered the food to be delivered before he quickly cleaned the dining table off so they could sit together and have a meal family style. Owen DoorDashed the movie snacks and popcorn and Jeremy DM’d several of Madi’s friends before calling her Mr. Reyes and letting him know what was going on. 

Charlie set plates out on to the table along with glasses of water and within a half hour the food and snacks had been delivered. He placed the containers of food in the middle of the table while Jeremy set up his laptop in the living room so they could join the Zoom call when they finished eating. 

“Do I smell empanadas?” Madison's voice called as the girl made her way up the hallway and towards the kitchen area. The girl stopped in the doorway with her mouth agape,her eyes scanned the dining table and the three boys that stood by it. 

“What’s all this?” She gestured with her right hand. 

Jeremy pulled out a chair and motioned for Madison to sit in it before he pushed it in towards the table. 

“We heard you were feeling a little down.” Owen shrugged as if the effort they put in over the last hour was no big deal and reached for an empanada before passing the container to Madison. Madison eagerly grabbed one and bit into it “oh myyyy gooodddd” she moaned out mid chew. 

“Elote?” Charlie held out the other food container to Madison. Madison eagerly grabbed one and placed on her plate “you guys are a couple of simps!” 

“What’s a--” Jeremy raised an eyebrow in question but was cut off by Charlie. 

“Don’t ask, I think she just makes them up as she goes.” Charlie shrugged “but I’m almost positive it’s a good thing.” 

The dining room was filled with laughter as they told jokes and played rounds of what are the odds? Madison sat back in her chair, her eyes bright and a smile so large on her face that her cheeks had begun to hurt. Jeremy got up and took all of the plates to the sink while Charlie placed the leftover food into the fridge and Owen made a quick run to the living room to enter the Zoom call and popped ‘Hocus Pocus’ into the blu-ray player. Madison whined when Charlie grabbed her by the shoulders and guided her to the living room when she tried to go back to her room to call her Dad. 

“Hocus Pocus? Guys, I love this movie!” Madison squealed, her eyes opening wide when she heard a whole room of laughter. 

“Guys…?” 

Owen turned the laptop around and Madison immediately burst into tears at seeing the faces of her family and friends on the screen all together. She popped up from the couch and pulled each of the guys into a tight hug. 

Jeremy looked down at the girl and smiled “we’re always here for ya, kid.” 

“Yeah, Mads, you’re like a little sister to us, We love you.” Owen agreed while pouring some rainbow nerds into his mouth. 

“Alright, enough of the mush, let’s get this movie night started” Charlie hopped over the back of the couch and got himself situated before pressing play. Madison rolled her eyes at the boy and settled into her spot on the couch with a bag of reeses pieces and her heart full.

Let me know if you’d like to be added to the taglist! 

@straywonpil​ @siennanoelle01​ @choppedhoundsludgeclod​ @cool-ultra-nerd​ @hxney-bunches-x​ @crybabyddl​ @sorryyoureoutofmyleague​ @dream-a-little-bigger-x​ @kcd15​ @all-in-fangirl​ @ifilwtmfc​ @onlygetaway​ @iainttakingshitfromnobody​ @angryknightstatesmantrash​

[asterythm]

I'm honestly a bit confused on the problem with making fandom related blm art (as long as its not tagged blm and provides links to supporting blm). Could you please explain?

please realize before you read any of this that i am speaking as an nbpoc person who has been mostly off tumblr for the past few days, with the exception of occasional nighttime reblog sprees after my productivity blocker extension times out. i have been doing my absolute best to educate myself as well as possible so as to be the best ally i can be, but i am nevertheless imperfect and i very well may say something wrong. above all, please keep in mind that the voices that really need to be heard and raised up right now are the voices belonging to our bipoc friends, not my own.

also, i’m real tired -- im not saying this to seek pity or make this conversation about myself, just to ask you to forgive any spelling errors/grammar errors/run-on sentences. thanks. ill also definitely be putting a tl;dr at the end, because I can already tell this post is gonna get longggg.

that said, i appreciate that you’re actively seeking to learn, so i'll do my best to explain what i've gleaned based on what bipoc fanders have been saying. for starters, @/hazelmagix put one major issue very succinctly in her post on the matter (tw for swearing, but this is really the Big One):

in addition to the above Big Issue (ie. needing to bring Real Experiences That Real People Are Facing down to the same level as works of fiction), i believe that one of the specific issues that the tss fandom is facing right now came about after @/bleepblopbloop56 drew a lovely piece of art involving a black, trans roman that originally (to the best of my knowledge) had nothing to do with blm. if you’re a part of the fandom and you’ve been on tumblr at all these past few days, you’ve likely seen the results of that, but i don’t know how many people are aware of the full story right now so just bear with me here:

what happened was that some people outside the fandom (mostly bipoc!!!) came across the piece and voiced their discomfort about it (some kindly, but many not-so-kindly), presumably because they thought that the artist was drawing Real Person Thomas Sanders as black, as opposed to a fictional character who is often portrayed in all manner of diverse interpretations. eventually, it got to the point where the artist felt pressured to take their piece down. 

(for clarification, i don’t think it’s ever okay to harass creators to that point, but that’s a whole ‘nother matter entirely. the point is, it was mostly people outside the fandom.)

anyway, the situation ended up sparking outrage after someone else made a post pointing the issue out under the assumption that the attacks had stemmed from racism and transphobia within the fandom (not true). in response, people (predominantly white people, if i’m not mistaken) began to draw art of black trans roman. which would be great on its own, except it didn’t take long for folks to start attaching it to the black lives matter movement. which was less great (see above screenshot). the least great part of all is that so much of it stemmed from spite at the people who had originally been voicing their discomfort about the art -- the same people, mind you, who are not a part of the fandom at all.

not only was this effort misdirected, it was also hurtful because people (again, majorly white) were now using black skin tone and even the blm movement itself as a form of spite. the focus was not on explaining the situation to the original poc outside the fandom -- it was on using art and fandom to appear “woke”, and in the process, ignoring the black voices who were saying they were uncomfortable. and i want to make it explicitly clear that i’m not accusing those who have been drawing bipoc sides of having bad intentions; just that almost all of it has been extremely performative. in using blm for fanart in this way, fanders are taking a real-world issue and turning it into a tool to further our own fandom issue, and that is absolutely not okay. and even when it’s not being utilized for discourse, it can still be extremely insensitive to put real-world struggles side by side with fiction.

my original post about adding resources to fanart was never meant to imply that adding links automatically makes it okay, either. again, i haven’t been on tumblr often and so i had no idea what actual bipoc fanders’ stance on the issue was, and i didn’t want to speak over anyone. what i was trying to say was that if the fandom is going to be so keen on pushing blm, the absolute least that we can do is to actually take the time to educate ourselves on the movement and contribute in other ways as well -- such as signing petitions, donating, et cetera. otherwise, not only is the content performative and potentially hurtful, it’s just plain meaningless.

tl;dr -- 

black lives matter is not a trend for white and nbpoc people to take advantage of so that they can appear “woke”. 

putting fictional fandoms side by side with real life can display an unwillingness to acknowledge the real-world impacts of current events unless presented in a way that specifically appeals to you.

above all, listen to black voices.

(oh, and also: in the interest of raising up bipoc fanders, some wonderful blogs to start with might be @skyscrapersanddandelions, @mxnte​​, @lamp-calm-sanders, and @aleiimm​. however, do not go asking these lovely folks to explain something to you/to provide you further resources. it is not their responsibility to personally educate you. i’m only linking them so that you may support them and -- i really can’t say this enough -- listen to what they have to say.)

[hobidreams]

20 questions tag!

tagged by the ever lovely @yeojaa 😘😘 omg america’s hat made me laugh haha 🤣 tagging anyone who wants to do this 💕

1. what do you prefer to be called name-wise?

just rain!! tho whenever anyone calls me miss rain, i feel ✨special✨. also literally any wonderful nickname @pseudofaux comes up for me makes me feel warm & fuzzy 💗

2. when is your birthday?

sept 5th, between joon & kook (right where i wanna be)

3. where do you live?

good ol canada 🍁

4. three things you are doing right now?

procrastinating my thesis, listening to Taemin’s INCREDIBLE new album, thinking about my post-dinner greek yogurt

5. four fandoms that have peaked your interest.

assuming this is for ones i’m not currently in...? one piece, merlin, fire emblem, hades! (this last one is mostly bc of the incredible art ive been seeing on twt!)

6. how has the pandemic been treating you?

well, honestly it’s been difficult not being able to see my bf bc we both live with immunocompromised family 😔 it’ll be a whole nother month until there’s even a slight possibility. but overall, i mean my work was remote to begin with, so the only real awful thing is that classes are online. i hate all the zoom meetings & whatnot so it’s been really weighing on my mental health. at this point i just want to graduate & be done with it 🙃 but on the plus side, i have a lot of time to actually dedicate myself to working out so physically i am, at least, in the best shape i’ve ever been lmao (i can do full pushups now??? like what!)

7. a song you can’t stop listening to right now?

ooooh for sure Wayv’s Domino!!! i’ve been obsessed with that song since the album dropped. Lucas’ deep voice is... a lot. 

8. recommend a movie.

CLUELESS. WATCH IT. it’s iconic.

9. how old are you?

my back feels like it’s 80 with all this hunching over a laptop but i am in my early 20s! 

10. school, university, occupation, other?

currently a student at uni. i work as a freelance writer

11. do you prefer heat or cold?

eugh i hate not being that Precise Comfortable Temperature because i tend to get hot or cold really easily hahah. i guess i’d ultimately rather be too hot

12. name one fact others may not know about you.

i can speak shanghainese ✨

13. are you shy?

depends on the situation :p

14. preferred pronouns?

she/her

15. biggest pet peeves?

people who don’t care about others, in any form that comes in. whether that’s a general lack of empathy or entitlement, or rudeness to retail/restauraunt employees, or being selfish & having big parties rn (lookin right at u, frat boys @ my uni and people having mfing huge ass weddings)

16. what is your favorite “dere” type?

ooooooooooo god damn it i have to go with tsundere, because i love a challenge LOL. but i have a soft spot for the kuudere 🥺

17. rate your life from 1-10, 1 being crappy and 10 being the best it could be.

i think right now it’s a 7? i’m very ambitious so i feel like i’m always wanting to move forward & improve in my personal life/skill set haha. generally, i am satisfied with the direction i’m taking.

18. what’s your main blog?

@hobidreams-main​

19. list your side blogs and what they’re used for.

@hobidreams - for bts writing @rain-reads - fic recs @tenuousheart - wayv blog @haoaiini - seventeen blog

20. is there something people need to know about you before becoming friends?

i double & triple message like no other LMAO i fuckin despise the arbitrary ‘communication rules’ that ppl have so honestly i’m just gonna talk to you if we’re friends hahah 💖

[dykedteach]

i very rarely come on tumblr desktop anymore so while i’m here i may as well clear out some of my tagged ask games SO

TAG GAMES DUMP PART ONE, BECAUSE IT GOT LONG AND I AM TIRED <3

i am not going to tag anyone in particular because there are a good few games here and like?? idk consider yourself tagged if you see any of these and they take your fancy x

but also if you tagged me for something i love you!!!!! and i am sorry if i took forever also

tag 9 people you want to know better/catch up with

tagged by @truthhux​ and @pianodoesterror​ for this one!

last song: Baby by Devendra Banhart

last film: Intermission with Colin Farrell and Cillian Murphy just being a couple a little guys

currently watching: I’m on S3 of Santa Clarita Diet at the moment which is my main watch, I started a(nother) Rome rewatch last night, and I am still technically meant to be watching The Wine Show S3 but I haven’t felt in the mood for it

currently reading: Forgotten Women: The Artists by Zing Tsjeng. Nudibranch by Irenosen Okojie, A Clash Of Kings by GRRM, and I’m still slugging through Mark Antony’s chapter of Plutarch’s Lives. Also not currently reading but in my next-up pile (for whenever I finish my next one) is Natalie Haynes’ A Thousand Ships, and Battersby’s Fitzjames biography (which has been sat on my shelf since last valentines with me flipping through to random passages but never actually reading the whole thing).

currently craving: a HUG, bubble tea, casual touches w friends, the ocean, exploring a new city abroad, caramelised pecans

-------------------

Get To Know Me, tagged by @caravaggiosbrushes​!

Favorite Colour(s): sunny yellow, ocean blues and greens, velvet red

Lipstick or Chapstick?: right now, chapstick, i’m living for my burts bees. but i do miss lipstick.

Top 3 Foods: greek souvlaki, fresh homemade bread, and a proper british roast carvery

Last Thing Listened To: Baby by Devendra Banhart

Last Movie(s) Watched: Intermission

Currently Reading: the big ol’ chunk above that i’d copy and paste but it would make the post so much longer

Last Thing(s) Googled: "john mulaney detective” to check the spelling of bittenbinder lmao

Height: 5ft 3 and 3/4

Current Time: 11:08pm

Song Stuck in Head: Walk On By by Dionne Warwick

Current Outfit: my navy starry pjs

How Many Blankets?: djasdkas okay so like....in terms of what i sleep with? currently a blanket on top of the made-up mattress, then me, then another blanket, then the duvet. in terms of in my room? like...ten? maybe?

Dream Trip(s): i would so much like to do a proper full on visit to rome. i have also always planned on doing berlin w my danni since we were in our mid teens and we still haven’t yet. i would also like to do a little trip to amsterdam at some point? oh and when it’s a much safer place i’d love to like. actually do the LA and Star Wars land trip that i was supposed to go on last april.

------------

17 questions, tagged by @ellelans​!

Nicknames: my school nickname which like maybe three people are still legally allowed to call me, sparingly. and then sometimes my mum calls me lou which is absolutely lovely. but i do kinda wish i had cute happy nicknames that people had for me idk

Height: 5′3 and 3/4!

Hogwarts House: hhhhhhhhhh like i’m a grown adult now so....no??? but also. i was a slytherin.

Last thing I googled: dionne warwick

Song stuck in my head: it’s still the dionne warwick song

Number of followers: 1982!

Amount of hours sleep: at the moment, around 7-8 which is nice!

Lucky Number: 22

Dream Job: full-blown accredited librarian with a degree and everything would be nice. owner of a successful indie coffee-book-flower shop would be even lovelier though.

Wearing: still my jammies

Favourite song: current faves are: edna by henry hall, francis forever by mitski, and tracks in the snow by the civil wars.

Favrouite instrument: i do love the violin but i do also tend to get very much like. oh MAN that could have been me in another life if we hadn’t had to sell my violin and stop paying for lessons!!

Favourite author: i have a long love of kurt vonnegut

Favourite animal noise: cat purs!!!

Random: i have a super itchy forearm tonight and i don’t know why!!

Have a recent pic: reposting this from yesterday!

[summerwithaniinit]

Hello! The mess on AO3 is about content INVOLVING minors and not minors that may or may not interact with the content

As in fics that talk about children nsfw and worst than that REAL LIFE children in nsfw environment and i mean smut and nasty nsfw

With children

Involving children both fiction and real???

I’m writing to you cause you acted confused on your own post AND cause you seem like a very decent person judging by your blog alone like.. you can see from yourself in the notes of your ao3 post the kind of audience that is supporting it.. literal pædos chanting the “anti” bullshit

Of course i don’t actually know where you stand on this so if you align yourself with maps then don’t mind me have a nice your own bugs bunny meme at you. But if not, yeah. It’s bad and we gotta stand against it. (sorry this came out very long)

i couldn't care less for fictional minors but p*rn of real minors is just 😬🤢🤢🤮

i generally ignore the existence of rpf and that kind of stuff in general so i don't get traumatised for life and it's served me pretty well imo. i'm kinda conflicted about this cause if it gets banned the authors will probably leave it untagged in different fandoms and i really don't wanna be the one having to read a normal looking fic and report it for irl cp and also i don't want it to exist cause imagine looking up your name and finding it on some creepy underage rpf fic (-_-;)・・・

i'm not the best person to think about the best way to deal with this and with everything going on irl rn i usually don't have the time nor energy to have nuanced opinions on this other than reblogging stuff from the people i follow. i've recently tried to tag those opinions into tags like "fiction", "fandom", and "for later" but i've probably left a lot of stuff untagged on tumblr. my views on this are somewhere on the middle; i will ignore it very hard IF it's tagged well enough that i won't catch a whiff of it (and ao3's good at doing that). out of sight out of mind, and that's probably why the irl cp thing got me so confused.

but overtagging is a whole nother can of worms because it just makes tagging harder for tag wranglers on ao3 (who are volunteers) and that's what my post was about anyways. they're trying hard to make sure everything's tagged properly and this influx of trolls will only affect them. the rest of us can just put a hide tags skin or something. it isn't "proving a point" or anything against ao3, it's just making people angry and sad.

this overtagging trend wasn't a "protest" against irl cp tho, it started off as a "protest" against ao3 not taking down "Sexy times with Wangxian". i'll call it stww for convenience's sake. stww was kinda infamous in the mdzs/cql fandom for being really overtagged. around a week or so ago it started adding other fandoms and more tags to it. the author of stww tagged svsss in the fic around 4 days ago and kept adding more fandoms till it reached 8+ fandoms and 1900+ additional tags. ao3 couldn't take it down because it technically hadn't violated it's tos but people got so angry about it that they started overtagging fics to make stuff harder for ao3 and it's volunteers. sometime within those 4 days the author of stww disabled comments on their fic and said something that violated ao3's tos and ao3 took it down. i'm assuming this overtagging thing got adopted as a "gotcha >:D" practice against ao3 in that time too

sorry for rambling over every single sentence of yours, it's just that i haven't gotten to express my opinion like this

Edit: someone says irl cp is against the TOS

[tanadrin]

hey *whispers* hey. hey. i saw your post in the wow tag. i would read THE SHIT out of your interpretation of wow lore. i have homework right now but i think i might just read through your blog a bit. the characters have always been such a high point for me (listen. i know knaak did a lot of shit. but you can pry Krasus from my cold dead hands he was EVERYTHING to middle school me) and i feel so conflicted over what theyve done to the characters - sylvanas, anduin, everyone. would love ur take

You might be a little disappointed, most of my blog isn’t about WoW (it postdates my WotLK raiding/RP guild phase, and I’ve only just recently got back into it with Classic). Lots of opinions on WoW characters below the cut.

I actually don’t hate Krasus as a character. He’s fine, he’s not a Designated Idiot Ball Carrier like some of the others are. In re: the dragons generally, I don’t like the simplistic thing WoW lore does a lot where one faction leader going bonkers turns the whole faction into baddies for no apparent reason, because all political entities are monoliths except when they’re not. I’m also not a huge fan of how crowded the, erm, metahuman bureaucracy on Azeroth has become in the lore–like, the Keepers and the Dragon Aspects serve similar roles, and the lore could have done fine with one or the other, and the dragons were here first (and Ysera and Alexstrasza are BAMFs), and so should get to stay.

Sylvanas is bae, obviously, and Sylvanas as Warchief was a terrific move plotwise. I think it’s a pity they had to kill Vol’jin to do it (because I am also very here for Warchief Vol’jin), but she is obviously the more interesting choice. Speaking of Warchiefs:

Thrall doesn’t have the Green Jesus Marty Stu quite as bad as some people think, but he does kinda have it, and I don’t see them grappling quite with the fact that he done fucked up. Like, not only did he install a Warchief who should have had all smart members of the Horde tugging at their collars nervously when he started his rule, Garrosh turned into a Sha-summoning Old God-corrupted, casual-atrocity-perpetrating maniac, not to mention all the bullshit on Old Draenor I do my best to forget about lest my blood pressure spike. We don’t really get a satisfying mea culpa from Thrall for that, and then his response is to fuck off to fiddle around with the Earthen Ring for a bit, before retiring to a farm in Nagrand. Keep in mind, one of the whole reasons the Horde came together in its current shape in the first place is because of the charismatic, hopeful figure of Thrall. It ran the very real risk of splintering under Garrosh for good (ESPECIALLY after the murder of Cairne, RIP Cairne Bloodhoof, you were too good for this world), and even the most unifying successor (which I think Vol’jin was) didn’t have Thrall’s inclusive, unifying vision. Sylvanas doesn’t, either, and even more, is sort of low-key hated by everybody else, so while I don’t think she’s a maniac like Garrosh who would recklessly divide the Horde, she’s also not, I am forced to admit, necessarily the ideal Warchief from a political standpoint.

Even if he didn’t return to the post of Warchief, Thrall had a moral obligation after the Garrosh debacle to try to help hold the Horde together and heal the divisions his negligence caused. At least to throw his support behind Garrosh’s successors, and not to pretend that Deathwing’s death meant everything was OK forever, job done. And if he wasn’t going to do that (and he has excellent motivations for not wanting to do that!), I think the consequences of that have to be explored. I think some people would blame him, and be justified in doing so. I think somebody like Varok Saurfang, who has had decades of experience with the damage bad leaders could do, would rightly be a little pissed, even as he sought Thrall out for help, that Thrall had let the Horde he built languish under subpar leadership. Thrall has been selfish–and that’s great, because he desperately needed some character flaws more significant than “cares too much” and “believes in people a lot.”

Anduin: better than Varian, still a little bland? Varian was a Professional Idiot Ball Handler, who seemed to do stuff not out of a coherent conception of his character, but just because the plot required a Generic Human King to do it. Plus there was all that stuff with the cloning and the kidnapping that never really made any sense. I like Anduin’s optimism; I like that he feels like a thoughtful, reasonable guy, who’s doing his best in often-impossible circumstances. I feel like they could show him being a little more frustrated sometimes, though, and a little pissed at people like Jaina who obstinately refuse to do the strategically correct thing even if it means setting aside their resentments for a bit. Disclaimer: I play almost exclusively Horde toons, they may address this better in the Alliance quests in WoW.

But oh man, besides the Draenei, I hate most what they did to Jaina. Jaina was that rare jewel, an optimist in a world whose setting demands perpetual chaos. Yes, yes, Theramore and the mana bomb, I’m not suggesting she should be made of stone, but it breaks her character to have her suddenly go from someone trying to forge a lasting peace between the Horde and Alliance in WC3–to the point where she would see her own father dead–to someone who now blames the whole Horde as one no exceptions for what happened at Theramore. Should she struggle with grief and pain and anger? Absolutely. But she should deal with them in more complex ways than “now I am become the mirror image of Daelin.” Nevermind that even if she did that she should at least regret not listening to him back in WC3. (Do they address that in BFA with the introduction of Kul Tiras? Idk, I haven’t played BFA at all yet.) It seems like Jaina’s role now is to be the Person Who Hates The Horde, and honestly, that’s a tired trope. It’s just not interesting, it has no nuance, it has no interesting outcomes. You could maybe get away with it with the generation of leaders from the Second War like Daelin and Genn who knew the Orcs only as the fel-corrupted servants of the Burning Legion, but it’s obvious to anyone with two brain cells to rub together than the current Horde is a very different animal politically and strategically, so even if you hate the Orcs with a burning passion, that is not going to transfer to the Tauren, nevermind onetime allies like the Blood Elves.

Gul’dan: oh my god the time travel plot was so stupid. Did the whole universe get duplicated in the alternate timeline? Since travel between the universes is cheap and easy that means there’s a whole nother Burning Legion with a whole nother Sargeras out there that’s still a huge fricking threat! Not to mention a whole nother Azeroth! Did just Draenor get duplicated? That doesn’t seem to match up with the fact a lot of the Burning Legion characters in WoD seem to be parallel universe versions of Burning Legion villains we already know, but it’s not directly confirmed or disconfirmed. Is it some sort of weird Bronze Dragonflight timey-wimey thing that doesn’t have its own independent reality? Ok, fine, but obviously this alternate Draenor has enough of an independent existence for us to visit it again and see what it’s like decades later, not to mention bring some of the people there back. Gul’dan was a fine, if one-dimensional villain but bringing him back from the dead was dumb, dumb, dumb, in a setting where death often feels meaningless and seems to be reversible at random. And the general incoherence of magic in the setting combined with the perennial incoherence of time travel plots (Gollum voice: *we hates them!*) really just reduced WoD to a quivering mess of plot holes, like febrile fan speculation made manifest.

Tirion Fordring: good example of a purely heroic character done well, which WoW has few of. I think because he actually has challenges to overcome, and he doesn’t feel like an idiot.

Bolvar Fordragon: Literally did not know or care who this guy was until the Wrathgate cinematic, but what they did after that with his character was terrific, 10/10.

Malfurion, Tyrande, Illidan: These characters all bore me to tears. My WotLK main was a druid, and I’m a big fan of the druid lore, so I wanna like Malfurion, I really do, but he’s just so dull. Partly because it doesn’t feel like he has any real limitations on his power, just whatever the plot demands he be able to do or not do at any given moment, partly because he just feels like a stiff-necked scold. Tyrande is even more one-dimensional. Illidan is pure 3edgy5me, and the demon hunters in general feel like they get to be too cool to actually traffic in any of the pathos of what should be their emotional equivalents like the Death Knights and the Forsaken. It’s like, “oh man, my life is so tormented, I have these bitchin’ horns and tattoos, and I’m, like, totally immortal, here, hold my rad sword thingies for a second.” At least with the Death Knights you get the feeling that being a Death Knight is a genuinely miserable experience, so there’s some genuine conflict at the heart of the class: sure, you play as a hero, but not the kind of hero you’d necessarily want to be. Demon hunters are just pissed they don’t get to sit at the cool kids’ lunch table, and Illidan genuinely acts like a giant asshole and then gets self-righteous and whiny when his friends and family are like “Dude! Stop being such an asshole!” There’s room for a prickly character, who’s a dick, but who’s our dick, and maybe that’s what they were going for, but Illidan is just the worst.

Azshara, Lady Vashj: The Naga were a giant fucking mistake. A symptom of the inability to let backstory stay backstory, to have to resurrect and retread the same events over and over again that plagues serials when lesser writers without original ideas get let loose on them. Settings like WoW (like Star Wars, like Star Trek, like Dune) are whole universes. You should be expanding the borders, making them feel bigger, more fine-grained, more alive, not beating the same major characters to death over and over again. The ancient Kaldorei are way more interesting as a lost past and a lesson in hubris than fish-snake-people who live under the sea.

Also, water levels are dumb and I hate them. This applies to coral-and-shellfish themed zones regardless of whether swimming is involved.

Cho’gall: I loved the “insane nihilist death cult” reincarnation of the Twilight’s Hammer Clan in World of Warcraft, and Cho’gall as the many-eyed crazed ogre mage with two heads was great. Would much rather have more Cho’gall than Guldan 2.0.

While I’m on Cataclysm: one thing you don’t often feel in worlds like WoW is the possibility of real defeat, because for extradiegetic reasons, it’s impossible to truly lose in any long-lasting way (or, in quests like Battle for the Undercity in WotLK, they just… don’t let you, which feels dumb as heck). I’ve always been fascinated by the idea of a post-apocalyptic fantasy world, a world where the bad guys won, and all the worst things the good guys feared came to pass. I think this is one reason I loved the original interpretation of the Draenei so much, because we saw in Draenor what that really looked like. It was bleak, and it was poignant, and even though it was set within a silly melodrama, it actually moved me. Cataclysm did something similar with the postapocalyptic time-travel instance (time travel being used well for once in WoW!), where you saw that Deathwing’s victory wasn’t just an abstract possibility, but a thing that could actually happen. It made the possibility of defeat feel more real, and it gave you a taste of that same bleak, poignant feeling: this, it said (just for a moment!) is what failure looks like, an Azeroth without life, without hope, in which everything you ever struggled for was utterly in vain. And that motivated you to work even harder to prevent it.

Alleria, Turalyon: “You last saw us in WC2, and since then we’ve been fighting a thousand years (subjective) of endless war against the Burning Legion and been irrevocably changed by the experience” is actually pretty great! But if I were going to rewrite WoW lore, I would make that a thousand objective years and set the final victory over the Burning Legion in the future, at a time when the Alliance and Horde have made a durable peace, and Azeroth has moved on from decades of endless war. I think there’s a real problem with trying to make the player one of the heroes that brings down Sargeras for good because it’s *such* an epic battle, but it’s a massively multiplayer game. Making every player the grand master of their class order was bad enough, but when you are obviously playing out entirely different diegesis from everyone around you, even if you didn’t have problems like sharding and a glut of phasing and cross-server activities and instant teleportation to dungeons, it really feels like a single-player RPG with a chat function. I mean, conflicting diegeses is always going to be a problem with questing-based MMOs, but suspension of disbelief worked when you were plainly one person embedded in a larger effort, like in vanilla, BC, and WotLK. But “you are one of thousands of people who is the Best Warrior Ever and sole Leader of the Warriors, and who has the Only Artifact Weapon that somehow also has thousands of copies”… yeah, that just doesn’t work for me. I feel like I’m being pandered to, and not in a fun way, like with the Pandaren.

Sargeras: I like that they retconned Sargeras to have a better motivation than “demons made me nihilistic.” The idea of a void-corrupted titan being something so terrible a member of the Pantheon would shatter worlds to prevent it is interesting. But the Void gods still feel… kinda non-threatening? We don’t see them actively working to threaten anything we really care about, the Void is mostly a pretty passive abstract force like the Light, and in general I feel like the setting isn’t really dualistic, but er… trialistic? Is that a word? In that there’s a three-way opposition between the Void, the Light, and the Nether/Arcane, from the perspective of which each is the opponent of both of the others, but that’s never laid out explicitly anywhere.

[uncle-fruity]

It's been about a week and this post is still going strong, and I just wanted to make a couple more points now that I've read through a bunch of the tags and the reblogs and such.

First off, I'm so happy that so many folks found comfort from this post. I remember what the fear of "losing" my singing voice felt like when I was pre-T, and I know that seeing more trans men be openly positive about their experiences with their vocal changes would have been a great comfort to me at the time as well. So, cheers to y'all. I see you, and I'm here to prove that being trans can, in fact, be abundantly joyful. Please feel free to reach out if you ever need some positivity <3

I also wanted to address a couple things I've seen popping up in the tags & reblogs. As many folks have pointed out, when afab folks go through puberty, their voices *also* change, just a bit more subtly. I'm 30, so I'm well past my first puberty, and I definitely experienced my voice cracking and changing in my 20s. I didn't mention this in my original post because I can be EXTREMELY rambling (thanks ADHD), and I'm trying to retrain myself to stick to the Point -- to the Thesis, if you will -- and in this case, my main take away was that amab folks often have a puberty that someone going on T will be mirroring, and their voices aren't "ruined" so neither will be yours.

(I am... probably going to ramble a bit more in this addition, so bear with me...)

Additionally, shout out to the transfemme folks who mentioned that they also went through testosterone puberty, and feel uncomfortable when transmasc people act like it "ruined" their voice because that also affects how they feel about their own voices. And a big reminder that our self-hatred can rub off on unintended targets. So, again, if you're feeling strong feelings of disappointment about your voice, that's VALID, but also something that should be examined with a therapist or a supportive peer group. Side note that women and femmes with deeper voices are sexy as hell. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

On that note, I saw a few people saying that they were still worried that they wouldn't be good after transition because they weren't professional vocalists and/or couldn't afford to hire a teacher (extremely valid, I also can't afford a voice teacher). A decent amount of, "Yeah, this is good information and I agree for others, but what if I'm the outlier." First off, with all due respect, that's probably your anxiety talking & is based more in fear than probability. But like... I mean, there's always a chance that transition won't fix all your personal hang ups about your own body & ability. The expectations we place on our bodies to fully change into our ideal version of a man (<- not a universal goal or sentiment for all folks on T, btw) is a whole 'nother post which I'll try to get around to. But at the end of the day, these things are true:

-- Your body will change no matter what throughout your entire life. Whether by aging, by gaining a disability, by body-altering behaviors (long term smoking may change your voice, for example), by exercise or lack thereof, by eating habits & how your body reacts to these things... Your body will always be changing. And none of those things are inherently BAD things, they are just Different Than Before. Some changes come with obstacles or unique challenges, but your body remains Important and Worthy, as it is the flesh vessel that allows you to experience all the things in the world. Please be kind to your body, and try not to resent it for changing in unexpected ways.

-- Even if you're bad at singing, you're completely worthy of singing. This is some of my anticapitalist art theory that I am extremely passionate about, but honestly the worth of your art isn't how marketable it is. Some folks will never be professional-grade singers, and that's okay. Not everyone has to learn the best vocal techniques or try to become the best there ever was. Aside from the concept of "best" being a flawed one anyway because it's extremely subjective, even if your skills are mediocre, that shouldn't take away the joy of the art. If you love to sing, I highly doubt anything is gonna stop you from singing short of not being able to produce sound. The only people who theoretically need to stress about their voice being professional grade are, well, professionals or people who want to be professionals one day. Those are people who are going to have to put in a huge amount of work whether they go on T or not. So while HRT should always be carefully considered, with every potential downside acknowledged & accepted before going forward, remember that your voice is still going to...like...function after the effects of T have settled. T isn't gonna rip out your vocal chords or anything, ya know?

So, sorta piggybacking off those points... You might not be a soprano anymore, if you were a soprano pre-T. That's just one of the changes that comes with T. Going off the reblogs and tags, some folks can get back their full range and more, some folks will get a new range. That's gotta be something you're prepared for and something you accept. I don't deny that part of life is changing and mourning the figurative death of your old self. That happens whether you're cis, trans, on hormones or not for a multitude of reasons. But at some point in your life, you will have to be prepared to say goodbye to your old self and welcome in your new self no matter what those changes look like. If that's not something you think you can intentionally do without causing yourself a boatload of distress, then I recommend waiting and working through any deep seeded emotional problems you may be harboring, especially those surrounding your body image, identity, and self-esteem. If you think the changes T will have aren't for you, then that's definitely something to consider for yourself & take seriously. I know there's a lot of pressure from all sides -- both a bunch of people saying you're not trans enough unless you want to transition, and a bunch of people trying to convince trans folks that we don't need to transition & to scare us out of that -- but the truth is that if you're trans, you're trans. No one gets to decide your transition goals except YOU, and it IS a big decision that should be taken seriously. You should be intimately familiar with what you're hoping to get out of this, what you're prepared to deal with if you start hormones, and what your personal boundaries are before you start the process.

For me, I wanted to be a guy. A nonbinary guy, but still a guy of sorts, and I wanted my body to relatively match my feelings. I'd thought about my options and fears for a couple of years, processed my emotions so I could identify the parts of the HRT process that made my anxiety flare and address those. What it came down to, for me, was: "I want it all. I want a deeper voice, even if my singing gets worse (I'd like to see someone try to stop me from singing anyway). I want body hair, and I don't see why folks get so up in arms about it anyway. I don't care if I get male pattern baldness -- even more opportunity to pass, tbh, and bald dudes can fucking rock it if they try." And like, these were all anxieties I had at first that I had to come to terms with and reevaluate. By the time I was ready to start T, I was already emotionally prepared for whatever came my way, so this whole process has been a joy for me.

At the end of the day, the ruined body sentiment is, at worst, anti-masculine TERF bullshit that hurts trans folks from both sides of the binary and beyond. At best, it reflects a deeper human fear of change and The Unknown. Those fears are valid and understandable, but idk, you can try to take comfort in knowing that you won't know until change happens, if you decide to let it happen. Every human has to struggle with disappointment, change, and adaption at some point... Thankfully, there are ways to cope and be kind to yourself to make it easier. All I can say is in my experience, if you feel like you can trust yourself to make decisions for yourself, then that's a really good foundation to cope with change.

Anyway, if you read through this rambling second take, thank you! I know I'm throwing a lot out there, but y'all are gonna be fine, okay? Life is wild and hard to prepare for. The main thing is that you trust yourself to make the right decisions for yourself, and do enough self-reflection to respect your wants and needs without giving fuel to the part of you that wants to deny truths about yourself. Idk if that made a whole lot of sense to anyone else, but my brain is convinced it's fine. And, now, with that, it is totally fried and screaming at me to wrap it up. So, uh. Glad to have a post resonate with folks <3 Appreciate everyone's input here~

Taking T didn't ruin my singing voice, and frankly I'm sick of folks panicking and ignoring the fact that cis boys go through two or three years where their voices are fluctuating and cracking and changing before they settle.

Your voice isn't ruined, it's changing.

If you want to make that transition easier, you gotta keep using it. Sing! Even if your voice cracks in goofy ways. Even if you have trouble placing your voice comfortably. It gets easier, I promise. Get a voice teacher (if you can) who has experience with vocal changes for pubescent cis boys if it's really making you anxious or if you're having a hard time controlling it.

To be clear, I'm not trying to be dismissive of people's emotions, nor am I trying to tell you about your own experience. If you feel something intensely, that's fair and valid. Respectfully, you should unpack that with a therapist or supportive peers.

However, when one of the main TERF tactics against transmascs is convincing trans guys that T makes you Worse in a Variety of Ways, and that you'll be ruining your body if you take it, I am EXTREMELY dubious of how many people online report any part of their body being ruined by T. Sounds suspiciously like TERF shit. And, yes, even Actual Trans People can play into TERF talking points. I'm begging y'all to stop the rampant fearmongering surrounding T.

So, after nearly a year being on T, I'm here to say that YES my voice cracks and YES my voice fluctuates and YES sometimes it feels like I have to relearn everything I knew about being a vocalist, but goddamn if I won't have fun figuring it all out, because I know this is just one stage of the transition I'm going through, and it's worth it.

[presumenothing]

on haibara in the dog lovers kidnapping case: a throughly unscientific review

aka @deductionfreak slapped me with the hatchet so now i’m legally obliged to write the essay. bearing in mind that i’ve never written meta before and that it’s also 1am but now or never so leggo

(for reference, this is file 290-292/ep 233-234)

((also: am reading the raws, so salt this for my probably-flawed comprehension))

[morning eta: mangadex link in case anyone would like to read along]

zeroth of all, context for the case: this directly follows the bus hijacking, about 10+ days later in-universe per conan’s dialogue

ALRIGHT SO can i say first of all that i like how this case starts, bc the mental image of haibara and agasa dropping off the kids (conan included) before going to park is just plain hilarious. have a nice day at school crimefighting y’all

not so fun: haibara half-hiding behind agasa and looking warily around, and that’s before arthur (the dog, not the author) barks not-nicely at them. which at least lets us learn that they both pet a doberman just this morning!! pls tell me this is at least a semi-regular occurrence bc yes it should be.

unfortunately that’s the last of the warm fuzzies we get for a while bc haibara herself proceeds to give one of her chilly monologues. you know the kind. in fact she does it three times this chapter and all aloud within the others’ earshot, which is unusually many? even for her? but we’ll get to that later (probably, i’m not writing an outline for this or anything). anyway, line 1, regarding arthur:

“an odd one out, a dangerous person… in my case… to the contrary, it might actually not be an error…” (仲間外れの危険人物…私の場合…案外勘違いじゃないかもしれないわね…)

which is a similar sentiment to what she expressed in the previous case, i.e. the bus hijacking, that she’s dangerous and Does Not Belong. but just as important is her subsequent action when conan reacts – she brushes it off like she’s joking and absolutely refuses to engage. (uncoincidentally this combination of commenting about a lack of belonging then deflecting happens almost identically in higo’s intro case.) 

somewhat ironically neither her nor conan seem to notice that the db have in fact realised and are plotting away, though their attempts to interest her in picking a gift only begets line 2, this time about doyle (still not the author):

“because if i, like marie, were to vanish with the dew on the guillotine… just like her beloved dog tisby, you too would chase after me and throw yourself into the river seine, wouldn’t you?” (だって私がマリーのように断頭台の露と消えたら…彼女の愛犬だったティスビーみたいに、私の後を追ってセーヌ河に身を投げてくれそうじゃない?)

this time she doesn’t even wait for conan to react before deflecting right off.

both these lines basically neon-light sign that she’s still stuck in the mentality aka cloudy-with-a-chance-of-death fear from that bus hijacking – that she ought to disappear so as not to endanger the rest, and no one should rather miss her. and agasa’s description of her behaviour since essentially confirms it: not wanting to leave the house, not eating properly, apparently not even sleeping well. yes i am in fact crying inside

in return we learn that conan had in fact called to say that the bus passengers’ background checks cleared (probably why he was surprised that she’s still wound up now). also, he’s in fact taking her dire predictions of “the org will murder everyone around me/you if they find out” at least somewhat seriously. unfortunately haibara does not hear this part.

finally after doyle disappears (and haibara does actually participate actively in the following search, which i bet a virtual dollar is more interest in anything than she’s shown for the past ~2 weeks) we get line 3 after conan suggests that doyle might’ve hidden somewhere in fright:

“that’s true… to live afraid in hiding, with the terror that you may be found eventually, there’s nothing quite as harsh…” (そうね…いつかは見つかるかもしれない恐怖に怯えて隠れ住むぐらい、辛いことないもの…)

pleasant thoughts indeed. but interestingly, this time when conan reacts and tells her to cut it out, she actually engages to respond. third time’s the charm? or more likely because he asks if she’s sulking only about the possibility of assassination nbd which probably suggests to her that he’s not being as serious about this as she thinks he should be. this is reflected in her calling him “an optimist without any plans” before reiterating the danger they face if she’d been found out – without knowing that conan had said almost the exact same thing very seriously to agasa literally just hours earlier.

but of course! she wouldn’t! because conan responds by cheerfully reassuring her that she definitely Has Not Been Discovered. sometime later (aka in the jodie & heiji case) she will learn via overhearing that conan’s hiding org-related things because of his promise that she needn’t worry, but at this point she takes him at face value and responds with perfectly comprehensible incredulity: “how can you say something like that!?”

and his response (which she’s shown to be briefly surprised by) starts to negate that idea of him being a zero-plan optimist, because he has in fact considered and dismissed the possibility of someone from the bus having targeted her.

…by detecting a lack of killing intent with his detective-y senses.

alright, so maybe he’s only half an optimist with even less of a plan. reassuring.

(two notes here:

one, conan’s answer here is absolutely inconsistent with his earlier words to agasa, where he reasoned more logically that (a) any Org agents that might’ve been coincidentally on that bus shouldn’t have noticed Haibara’s presence, and (b) it’s been 10 days they would’ve murdered us all long ago otherwise. which points to him not being as certain of things as he claims to be here, but that shouldn’t really be a surprise to the readers.

two, if it’s not already obvious, haibara’s evaluation of conan at this point is not as accurate as she assumes it to be – a revolutionary concept that we later revisit via her thoughts in the post-bloody valentine murder-by-vcr case.)

anyway, they proceed to brush things off with some collective salt, and haibara stalks off declaring that she’s 100% done with detectives it’s almost 2am, i’m allowed to paraphrase??

after which case resolution happens, etc etc, followed by what is inarguably among the top 10 Best Haibara Panels ever, but tl;dr – 

the three lines collectively show that the fear and doubts/thoughts of escape raised by the bus hijacking didn’t miraculously end just because conan physically saved her and told her not to run (her accepting that doesn’t really happen until the higo intro case but that’s a whole ‘nother post which i am def not writing), but the subsequent conversation starts her re-evaluation of both conan himself and the idea that… well… you don’t have to be blindly optimistic to be optimistic? or at least not end-of-the-world pessimistic?

which – and this is important – still does not solve everything: if nothing else the ever-lurking possibility of pursuit still remains in her mind as of the subsequent case (aka genta’s barbershop adventure) and arguably only gets partially resolved during the later cases as brought up above.

and on a last note: how Good™️ is it that what finally breaks her doom&gloom mood is reaching out to reassure arthur that nobody is mad at him anymore? at which point the db reveals their topsekrit plans to cheer her up because they’re good children who deserve many good doggos, and i should sleep before this degenerates any further into drivel? responses welcome, i’ll figure out what to tag this in the morning. presume out

[spnbaby-67]

Spa fun

A/N: Awhile back, I had this in mind to do when I was sitting at a Spa getting my Mani and Pedi thinking of what would happen if Dean were to get one done. Well come to write it and something else hit my mind instead, Nonetheless, its still cute and fluffy. Let me know how you like it. it just a one shot that is helping me get out of my writing funk. just pur fluffy, and Dean being himself. No warnings.  please don’t copy and paste on other sites, likes comments and reblogs are awesome. Also i want to thank my new friend Joost @alfredde132e kind enough to help beta this. and very sweet to. (sorry i really don’t have a name for this one. let me know if you do)

Pairing: Dean and reader, Sam mention, receptionist unknown name (lol) 

Warnings: non, just fun stuff, 

Your entire body felt sore. A soreness that basically screamed for a massage. You hadn’t had one in years, and the thought of one now made you squeal with delight.  Only thing was, you had to beg Dean to take you. So you scanned the net for two days to find the right one, a couples massage close to home and at the perfect price you could actually afford.  Thing was,  how were you going to convince Dean to go with you. You had to come up with a plan, and if that didn’t work, you knew what to do. Closing the lid on the laptop, you went to go find him, he was where you knew he would be. In the kitchen drinking coffee. You go over to him, corner him, and kiss his neck.

His arm immediately wrap around your waist, as he allows you to continue. “Mmm, babe you keep doing that and I’m going to have to take you over my shoulder and take you back to the room.”  He let out a soft moan as you got a sensitive spot.

You didn’t answer him, just let your actions speak for you. From his neck you went down a bit to his upper chest, as your hands ran up the insides of his shirt. You whispered to him now that you had him entranced.

“A what?”  He asked you as you looked up from kissing his chest.

“A massage Dean. You know where you lay on the bed and someone rubs their hands on you as you relax.”

He huffed and turned around to wash the cup he had. “I know what a massage is yn, In case you hadn’t noticed babe, no one but you touches me.”

“And I appreciate that very much , but Dean we both need this. We have been on nonstop hunts for three months and my body is craving the attention.”  You begged as you stood before him chest to chest and your right hand on his shoulder. “It’ll be great, you’ll love it I promise. Besides, you will feel like a million bucks afterwards. Please babe for me?”  You gave him Sam’s puppy dog eyes he taught you as a sure fire way to get Dean to do almost anything.

He rolled his eyes at you. “Enough of the puppy dog eyes yn.  Remind me to shoot Sam for teaching you that.”

As if right on cue, Sam walked in hearing the last part. “Teaching her what?”

Dean turn to look at him, “You teaching her that look to get her way.”

He winked at you when Dean moved to put something back into the fridge.  “I didn’t reach her anything, Dean. She learned it on her own, besides, she’s pretty smart you know.”

“Yeah and I’m frosty the snowman.” He rolled his eyes then tried to get out of your grip.  “What?  No,yn. That stuff is not for me. Take Sam, he could use a day at the spa!”

“He’s not my husband, you are. Besides, it’s a couples massage. Please Dean, please?”  You held on to his right arm begging.

“You know it’ll do you good Dean, you could use a deep massage you know with the hot stones to relax your muscles and support the blood flow throughout your system.” Sam tried to give him the reasons and benefits of it to help you out.

“Seriously, we don’t have time to go to one of those places. We have hunts to do that’s more important, you know hunting things and saving people, remember?” he looked at both you and Sam.

Sam leaned up against the counter, “Actually, we don’t have anything right now. I scanned everywhere and it’s completely quiet.” He was backing you up, because he knew Dean needed this just as bad as you did. Hell, he could use one himself. But he knew not to interrupt you and Dean’s personal time. Besides, once Eileen got home from seeing some friends tomorrow he was sure to get one by her and vice versa. So, why not help you and Dean.

Dean gave him a bitch face look, “Seriously Sam? You’re going to take her side on this?” He grunted as he walked to the map table.

It can’t hurt now can it, besides, you need one. You’re so uptight and stressed out, i’m sure your muscles are crying out saying please do this please.”

He scoffed, and you could swore you heard him sound like a raging bull. You go over to him, and place your arms around his neck and look up at him. “Please D, for me? I’ll make it worth your while later tonight.”

Sam looked at you, “Nope, no, nada, I don’t want to hear it YN, See ya’ll later, you’re on your own on that one.” He smiled and left the room in a hurry down the hallways.

He rolled his eyes. “Fine, just this once. But you owe me, and big time sweetheart.”

You stood back and clapped a bit with a happy face. “I’ll do whatever you want Dean, even try out that new position you been talking about.” you raised your eyebrows at him.

“Really? Seriously? You’ll do that?” he followed you to the bedroom to get your things.

“Yes Dean I will, and then some.” You said over your shoulder as he was following you.

A couple of hours later, and you two were at the Sweet Cherie Massage Parlor. Course, Dean had to mock at the name with a cheeky grin. “Wonder if Cherie is sweet.” he laughed a bit behind you holding your hands.

“Ssh, Dean.” You reprimanded him. “It was the only one I could find within close distance of the bunker and actually affordable.” You gave him a bit of the stink eye.

He leaned in closer to your backside and whispered in your ear, “You know, I could have given you a massage all over including inside.”

Your face blushed, that was true, he could have. But nothing beats a good old fashioned massage with hot stones, mud bath which you didn’t tell him about yet, and skin detoxification. You chuckled at the site in your head just thinking of Dean sitting in a tub of mud.

“Hi and welcome to Sweet Cherie's Massage, how may i be of service.” a perky young blonde sat behind the desk and was staring expectantly at you.

“Hi, my name is y/n and this is my husband Dean. I called earlier about the couple’s massage.” you held on to Dean’s arms as they were wrapped around your waist from behind.

She scanned the computer trying to find the reservation you had made, “Ah, yes. Mr. and Mrs. Campbell. Right this way.” She led the way to the rooms behind the curtain.

Dean looked at you, “Impressive,” his hand was on the small of your back.

You turned your head a bit to see him, “Hey, I know how to be protective of our names kind sir.” you winked at him when you two stopped at what looked like a tub in the middle of the room.

‘Um, what’s that?” Dean asked.

Amy interrupted you before you were to speak, “It’s a mud bath sir, it exfoliates the skin and removes the impurities from your body.”

“Ah, no. I am no way whatsoever getting in that,” He pointed to the tub, then start to turn around and go back out the front door, but you stopped him.

You placed your hand on his chest where his heart was. “Dean, it’s not that bad. It’s just mud, a special kind of mud.”  

‘Y/N, if i wanted to roll around in the mud special or not, I could always go down to the farm at our grandparents place and play with the pigs as an added bonus. No. I’m not going to get in that.”

You crossed your arms and looked at him. “Dean, you promised me.”

“I promised a massage sweetheart, there’s a difference between that and this.” he looked at you sternly, his jaw flexing a bit.

You rolled your eyes at him. ‘Fine, you go back to the house and be a baby. But just know that if you do, then all bets are off for tonight.” You huffed, you knew you had him then just by the look on his face.

He closed his eyes, and took a deep breath. “You are evil, you know that? You’re downright crazy to do this stuff. Then to make me do this, that’s a whole nother story.” He looked around a bit and spotted the technician that was preparing the bath. “You’re going to have to sedate me.” he looked around after she shook her head no. “ He growled as you and her helped him into the tub.

After two and a half hours at the spa, Dean received a full body massage, a mani and a pedi which he laughed through saying it tickled when they rubbed the bottom of his feet with a grater of some sort. Y/N couldn’t stop laughing at him, it was the best thing she ever convinced him to do. She took pictures and sent them to Sam saying he should post those on instagram or something. But Dean knew he would never do that, all in all he enjoyed the best day of his life and night to.

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[diogenescynic2288]

I posted 5,139 times in 2022

That's 239 more posts than 2021!

57 posts created (1%)

5,082 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@diogenescynic2288

@kohak-u

@rinrinlovee

@dogkin

@imaveryevilgirl

I tagged 2,632 of my posts in 2022

Only 49% of my posts had no tags

#nifty artwork - 532 posts

#bog tuesday - 149 posts

#beautiful pictures of beautiful people - 75 posts

#youtube - 48 posts

#unreality - 47 posts

#i like asks - 35 posts

#nifty pictures - 32 posts

#comics - 27 posts

#entrapta - 23 posts

#cute - 22 posts

Longest Tag: 131 characters

#the monkees are basically a precursor/ancestor to all a producer at a record label hired three+ people of one gender to sing groups

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Happy Saint Valentine's Day.

I unironically love this song and think it has something to say about love.

I don't know why, but I like this cover by the this pop duo particularly well.

"I am the son and the heir of a shyness that is criminally vulgar."

"I am human and I need to be loved just like everybody else does."

4 notes - Posted February 14, 2022

#4

tbh sometimes i forget you aren't one of those super advanced AI's

That is an interesting thing to see, and I wonder what prompted this.

I'm not an AI. I'm not even sure I'm a natural intelligence here sometimes.

8 notes - Posted May 26, 2022

#3

happy belated Bog Tuesday!!

i kinda drew something for it

idk it just spurred out of my mind

anyways enjoy :D

It's awesome!

14 notes - Posted April 20, 2022

#2

Please Interact

I was thinking of doing one of those joke dnis but my brain no creative funny now, but I thought I'd create an honest, not joking please interact.

Please interact if you know what Robotech was, if you read any of the similarly long-titled Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles parodies, if you have an opinion on Swamp Thing vs. Man-Thing vs. The Heap, if you have a favorite superhero TTTPG, double points if it's over thirty years old and not Champions, if you like Addams Family Values better than the first 90s Addams Family movie, if you ever owned a pet gerbil, hamster, mouse, or rat and really loved it, if you own a Misfits t-shirt, if you've ever painted your nails blue, if you generally try to be nice to people.

15 notes - Posted March 14, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Diogenes's Reading Log for 2022

I just realized it’s a whole nother year, and it’s not even still January. I think I’ll publicly track the things I read this year here.  I’m only going to log a work, once I’ve completed it. I have some other rules that I might mention later, but that’s the main one: no work in progress tracking, just complete reads:

Another reread of JLA Year One seems to be the first thing I finished so far (late February). This is a work by Mark Waid, Brian Augustyn, and Barry Kitson, all credited as storytellers. I'm willing to bet Mark Waid was the primary scripter of dialogue and suchlike, but I'm wondering if he and the penciller worked plot summary/Marvel method on this.

I keep thinking I'll write a review.

16 notes - Posted February 27, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[vacationcalendar]

8/7/21

Hi boyfriend~

Just took a weed gummie in honor of Bonnie’s birthday weekend. My present for my friend is that I’ll suck it up and be an active participant in their life for a change. I’ll be game for a whole weekend. I got up early today and tagged along to volunteer at a charity 5k. We grabbed some coffee and wandered to the halfway point of the course (thus walking an entire 5k in the process! Not too shabby ;D), and then camped out a water station that I’d say should be very grateful I actually showed up to work its sorry ass. Bonnie didn’t have to do any managing/delegating, they just got to post up and chatter at the runners-by. I’m pretty sure if I didn’t go, and I promise I am not tooting my own horn, that water stand would not have been the fun water stand that it was. They would have had 2 dunces making it go worse, and only 3 people managing 4 tables of water cups. Volunteers man, what are you gonna do? I’m sure that’s why they were looking for 8 people per water stand, just to statistically ensure that SOMEONE with half a brain would be around to help out.

Great morning though. JUST a little too hot, but that’s how you know you were doing solid work out there. The proof is in the pits, baby!

Ok, 40 minute bathroom break is over. Man, nothing like starting the blog to make me SO productive in the mornings! It’s such a cheat code. I did laundry, dishes, pooped; my whole day is bright and available now! But now I’m tired and I don’t want to write anymore. I had about a 6 minute where I wanted to do this today and I actually hit it for a second before I had to stop and do ANYTHING ELSE I guess. So, fuck. What do we write now?

I had to get up suuuuper early for this 5k thing, and I only got like 4 hours of sleep because I did not factor in the early wake up until like 6pm yesterday, and I had already slept like 14 hours that day :I That’s right, I woke up, immediately crushed the blog, went back to laying down, played League, and watched tv and shit until I felt tired enough to sleep and get ready for the 5k, which was 2am. So now I have a weed gummie digesting in me and I have a nap climbing up my priority list and this is why I don’t like weed. I feel like I have to plan my fucking shit around it, and I’m not good at that. Part of me thinks I can crash right now and wake up before the drugs make me sleep for 2 hours longer than I want, and give me weird, unpleasant dreams. I can’t possibly pull that off, I’m not sleepy, I’m just like sluggish. So basically what I have to do now is power through into the “trip” (maybe I’ll luck out and miss it and I can just pretend I’m high, which I won’t do, but hey we’re brainstorming here), and let that smoothly transition me into a nap. And THAT would mean that I have to entertain myself for the time being to get me into a good place to start being high...? And then I can like power up my activities WHILE high, and that would be fun. Playing video games, great. Playing video game high? That’s the whole point of it. I mean like, that’s the whole point of life, right? And then I can be like NAPTIME BITCH, and that would be fun also, in theory. And then I can go put a podcast on and go to the movies? Ugh, I don’t want to go the movies anymore. I’m to tired :( This sucks.

I’m trying to go see Green Knight. I’m sure that sentence won’t matter at all in even like 4 months from now, but I think it should be a fun time. So much more productive than anything I can do from the desk. And it’s not summertime like this forever. You gotta get that shit in so you don’t think you miss it when the weather turns. You want to be sitting inside on a cold autumn day thinking “good riddance, being outside is entirely overrated.” And I’m not there yet. Man I don’t know. Well how bout this? Let’s do a little more brainstorming while I’m trapped here writing to your dumb ass. If you ever read these again this part will be like a little prank on you lol. Ok: 1: Stay here, no movie. Let’s lock that in. that should make having to navigate being high so much easier. Let’s let the pipe dream of doing everyone’s favorite thing of being at a theater high wait just a little longer. Today can be a trial run. We’ll walk around today and think about what it would be like if I had biked 20 minutes to a movie theater and watched a 2 hour movie and biked home. And when we suss out that it would have been unenjoyable, we’ll feel like geniuses for making this call. So that’s out of the way. LOCK IT IN

2. I don’t know yet. Let’s just start simple. Food. What’s up? We have almost no groceries. We have no bread for a tuna salad sandwich, but let’s put that in the to-do list. We need more english muffins too. That was an A+ 10/10 move last month. Just muffins w/ strawberry jam, and egg McMuffins whenever the fuck I wanted, which was always. Frozen Veggies like Corn or Beans would be good. Bag Chop Salad kits. They weren’t on sale last week, and it’s goddamn highway robbery when they’re at full price. So this week would be the perfect time to check in on ‘em. And I’ll commit more to an equivalent substitute this time if I can’t find a good deal. Let’s see, what else? Oof my wpm and accuracy is starting to take a hit. The first and only symptom! Nice! Miku. Meat. Spaghetti and meat sauce? Gotta check out what ragu shit you have in the house before you do that. Consider this your reminder! I know you’ve never successfully pulled that off, but I have full confidence in you. Oh fuck, now I’m starting to worry a little bit the coherent quality of this is about to start dropping. Well, another fun little prank for ya bitch! Fruit leathers? I just have no fucking idea. Ok, so shopping can 100% wait for another day. This isn’t anywhere close to a cohesive trip. So we can eat out somewhere! Great, lock it bitch. I’m starting to swear more; it’s because I can’t find the right words anymore. Oh boy, the weed smelling burps are happening. This really is so gross and difficult. Beer is just a more bitter version of soda. It’s actively refreshing. Damn, if only I’d been a little more exposed to peer pressure at an earlier age. I’d have been past this awkward uncomfortable phase of weed, like how I (and basically everyone) was with alcohol. You slam Natty Lites with your nose closed until you start to realize life is little more pleasurable than the absolute Kelvin zero you had come to be familiar with. Uh, ok, I’m starting to let my mind wander. He’s daydreaming, chief! I suppose I could just transcribe the dialogue of the daydreams, but I can’t keep up. This is just break o’clock.

3. What do I fucking eat!? I had to make a whole nother numbered point, and I still don’t have the plan. Jesus H,. Ok here’s what AROUND. Chex Mix, unopened. 1 Grape Soda. Cookie Dough Ice Cream (w choc sauce). Raisins, PB, Ramen, meh. Reese Cups! I just looked behind and was like, “oh yeah! Nice”. If that’s not everything, that’s REALLY close. So what’s calling my name? Pizza? Chinese? Damn, I might just have to play this by ear. Nothing at all sounds interesting, and I’m not the slightest bit hungry (we got free Dim Sum after the 5k. It was called the Dim Sum and Then Some 5k). Ok, so other options to keep on the back burner for later would be: Kebab, Chicken Sandwich, go get Pizza Rolls and Chippies at the store. Ok that’s enough options, that fuckin really took it outta me, I can’t believe it. My hands are kinda feeling heavier now too. I better think of a #4 thing to write about quick or I may lose all my inertia.

4. UMmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Movie time? I watch arrival and turn off all the lights and pop popcorn and have my soda? Where sunglasses and pretend they’re 3-D glasses? Maybe. Ugh, I can tell right now my eyes are gonna get bloodshot, or dry out or whatever. They already kinda hurt :(. It’s fine. I feel more good than not. Like I’m wrapped up in a blanket, even though I’m not. Maybe OH- Maybe I lay out on the beach chair and read in the sun with an ice coffee? Oh fuck that might actually be perfect. Then I can go no shirt and just feel nature, and maybe bugs are less troublesome when you’re high. And then I can pop Doughboys on and shower! Shower high, seems like a guaranteed home-run. Ok, I like it a lot. I have to do SOMETHING away from Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum or I’ll go crazy this weekend, especially if I have to tag in on occasion and “participate” for Bonnie’s Birthday. Which, let’s be clear, is the least I can do. It’s a gimme. I owe Bonnie AT LEAST this much, even just as like backpay for holidays or yore. Like if I have the zhuzh to punch in for birthday shtuff, I better do it, right? I just looked it up, it might officially be zhoosh, not zhuzh, but zhuzh appears to me to be the best way to do it. And there’s like 5 accepted spellings of it. Stupid, not helpful. Just because it employs a sound that has no [conformed] applications in the english language? Poor excuse! Oh man, it’s so early I can’t believe it! That 5k feels like a day ago, wild. Well, hey! Point 4 is finished. Moving on!

5. What to do tonight? Who gives a fuck. Figure that part out when you get there, it does not matter at all. There, numbered list over.

Ok so, let’s just wrap this up I guess. I’m cracking an hour here, that’s plenty. Maybe tonight you do a little PRE-WRITING before bed, so this isn’t so “chore-y”. Let’s just remember you seriously considered letting yourself down completely and bailing on the blog earlier this morning. So we need to keep our expectations at appropriate levels still. It’s this NEXT week that should be very interesting. Just in terms of output. A little more practice, and little more muscle-memory. A little less crap to distract me (I have been burning through non-stop crap youtube/tv this last week since coming home, it’s fantastic. I was gonna say it was sucky, or disgusting or something, but that’s a lie I tell to myself to pretend I’m more diligent than I actually am. ACCEPT who you are and love yourself for it)

I accept you and love you Max. Ok, I have to go, I feel like I’m gonna puke... awesome 

bi