rotpeaches

[rotpeaches]

headcanon that percy stays ready to clock the minotaur. this man would pause his lunch break to give this bull it's horn a third time. this man would dehydrate for two days if it meant he could murk this bull at the end of it. this man's beef with this walking beef is so grandeur. it was the first monster he killed the moment the battle of mamhattan began. this is one of percy's consistent bloodlust moments and no one will ever fault him for it.

[rotpeaches]

cracking myself up thinking about the movement towards simplified forms in cave paintings

[rotpeaches]

The funniest one star review of Wicked I've seen so far

[rotpeaches]

[rotpeaches]

we DO grow old and happy. btw.

[rotpeaches]

[rotpeaches]

the biggest questions detective pikachu answered

no one but professional trainers has a full team of 6 in the pokemon universe because it would be a fucking gigantic hassle to deal with 6 animals, let alone different types that need different things

some people don’t evolve their pokemon because imagine having a fucking cat and then you can choose to make the cat five times as big and strong. would you do this if you weren’t battling.

[rotpeaches]

i’m gonna use my hacking powers to do an all pyjama run in pokemon y

[rotpeaches]

sorry that my pussy is so wet and soft and inviting and my heart is pure and full of whimsy. as if it’s my fault.

[rotpeaches]

So I tend to put on a youtube video most nights to fall asleep to (laptop on a shutdown timer.) And lately, my recommendations are a lot of videogame speedruns or videogame hidden facts.

Last night I pulled up youtube and got a "I played the 10 worst wii games ever" kind of video. ~30 minutes long. Fair enough! Show me the terrible wii games.

I'm paying attention for the beginning, since hey I'm still awake. And maybe like, 6 minutes into the video the guy starts going into heavy detail about how to pirate and copy wii games.

And I'm like, shit, bold, considering this video has 500,000 views. Bravo and all that.

The terrible wii games go on. I fall asleep.

I wake up to the sound of like... mechanical grinding?

Look at the laptop. There's a guy in a hazmat suit mixing dangerous chemicals, going "hey don't mix these dangerous chemicals."

I'm like, "Oh, the video ended. And the algorithm put me on... chemical mixing Youtube I guess."

I look at the video Title. "I Played The Worst Wii Games Ever Made"

....Oh.

It's still the video.

So surely he is... mixing chemicals to clean off an unplayable wii disk? Trying to touch up the lone copy of some forgotten game bought off ebay?

No...

He's just.

Mixing chemicals.

I hover over the video sections.

The 10 worst wii game sections have ended. He played them all.

The last 10 minutes is just dedicated to... him in a hazmat suit mixing dangerous chemicals.

....????

I fall back asleep.

....

I need to go back and check this video to make sure I did not imagine this all in a half-asleep stupor

[rotpeaches]

[rotpeaches]

oh ok

[rotpeaches]

Black Friday is such a joke nowadays. “Don’t miss out on 30% off” don’t piss me the fuck off. People used to hit each other over the head for a microwave that’s how low the prices were. People literally died. We used to be a country

[rotpeaches]

character misses their shot and the villain goes "ha! you missed." and the main character goes "did i?" and then shoots the villain again while they're frantically looking around the room for what the hero could possibly have aiming for instead

[rotpeaches]

my favourite instagram account is "wheredoesthepeecomeout" and it's run by a girl who asks men on tinder where cis women pee from and then documents their answers

[rotpeaches]

There's an open pit in the middle of our office plan that drops down into a bunch of very sharp spikes that kill you instantly. This is bad. People keep falling in there and dying. Someone put a sign up, the other day, all bright yellow so you can't miss it, that says "Beware!!! Spikes!!!"

The office immediately split into two factions over it. One says that if anyone falls in the spike pit it's their own fault for being so stupid and not watching where they're walking, so we should remove the sign. The other says that the sign is an insult, there shouldn't be a spike pit in our office at all, and having the sign up like that is just normalising the existence of the spike pit, so we should remove the sign.

We ended up removing the sign. Probably for the better. Still... for a while there it looked like it might have worked...

[rotpeaches]

Being kink positive makes it really hard to be a hater of media rip. I used to love watching “the WORST book I’ve read this year” booktube videos but now its like I hear them ask, “Who is this werewolf smut even for?” Omegaverse fans, next question. “Why would you write this?” Because they find it sexy, can we stop focusing on the ewie yucky kink part and focus on the fact that the author used the word knot five times in a single scene? It’s bad werewolf erotica, but it’s not bad because it’s werewolf erotica like come on