detritiviolet

[detritiviolet]

1 minute of washing machine time is like 10 minutes human time. they live on a completely different scale that we could never begin to conceptualize

[detritiviolet]

totally normal and not deranged thing to say

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I’m at the BDSM club painting tunnels on the wall for my sub to run into

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the idea of consuming two conflicting things that promise to do the opposite of each other has always been hilarious to me. there’s a liquid shot-based sleep aid called 6 hour sleep and as soon as I saw it i immediately imagined mixing it and a 5 hour energy together for a 1 hour nap

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My perfect thick idiot son, Calvin, who has never done anything wrong in his entire life except today when I let him climb my young redbud tree and he went to the highest branch and wedged himself in the crook of it and wouldn't budge and he's so big I was afraid that he might break the branch so I had to get a stepladder and get him down while the neighborhood jays that come by for peanuts whenever they see me in the yard freaked out and sat screaming on the fence to warn me that there's a snake very near me because I'm obviously too stupid to see it and clearly in mortal peril.

[detritiviolet]

disembowling a clowngirl and I'm trying to yank out her intestines but they just keep coming. its been 30 minutes and there's no end in sight. she's laughing at me

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yea

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read that post blacked out and woke up with this on my computer. crazy. stay safe out there everyone

[detritiviolet]

@artisfox

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[detritiviolet]

my parents named me "street meats" on account of they found me running a sous vide pork stand downtown when i was an infant. I was known as "the wettest hands in the west" because of my no utensils technique. I'd cook those bad boys for 35 hours straight until all there was left was a thin transparent membrane. People would line up for miles to even get a whiff of my meats, i lived as a king for 10 golden years until i got my liquor license revoked for serving "the blindsider" which was made of isopropyl alcohol, malört, and zippo lighter fluid. Retirement isnt too bad though i get to just kick back and let my hands soak in a nice warm bucket of the meat water i got left and every so often someone will notice me on the street and drop a subtle "whats sloppin'?" its a simple life but its my life and i wouldn't trade it for the world.

[detritiviolet]

DOGE is an obvious scam to give Elon Musk access to the 32 INVESTIGATIONS.

11 Federal Agencies were working just fine. No fraud, no waste.

Elon Musk is providing zero evidence. He is sharing nothing with oversight committees.

In essence, Trump created an illegal and unconstitutional fourth branch of government.

End Musk. Save America.

[detritiviolet]

it's so foggy out on the road i can't make out (makeout?! 😳😏😳🥺⁉️❤️❣️?💗💓💕💞💖💛💚💖💛💝💋?) a thing 10 feet infront of me

[detritiviolet]

[detritiviolet]

Do you fucking mind

[detritiviolet]

hey folks if you have an android phone: google shadow installed a "security app".

I had to go and delete it myself this morning.