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#tip the scales
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Tip the Scales Chapter 1
Prosecutor Sun, Prosecutor Moon, Judge Eclipse x Defense Lawyer (Devil's Advocate) Reader
(You are a charismatic defense lawyer in a constant competition with two ruthless prosecutors that do not understand your ideals about criminals deserving a second chance. You are also housemates with a certain bitter and retired judge, who has a habit of operating at night as a cloaked figure known as the Judge of the Damned. Things get complicated when your old friend Monty gets accused of a murder he claims to not have committed willingly. Will you balance the scales once more?)
Warnings: suggestive themes, possessive behaviour, mentions of violence
There was a particular universal truth that court employees would never dare to admit about court proceedings: not a single one of them actually wanted to be there. Those that did enjoy being present during a session were either lying to themselves or were being paid obscene amounts of cash to pretend to care. In other extreme cases, it was all a part of unhinged ambition sprinkled with a dash of insanity.
Normally the whole process was a dreary affair, varying from sordid and depressing, all the way to showing what an administrative inferno the whole institution had become over time. True to the Dickensian fashion of describing things, one could say that the gloomy and omnipresent fog that had consumed the city with the arrival of Fall was equally present in the courtroom itself, both metaphorically and literally, entering every pore and chilling everyone to the bone.
However, in our specific situation things were getting quite heated. The cold September fog had been rudely pushed aside by the steam of intense and fiery debate you were having with prosecuting attorney Sun.
A bitter rivalry existed between you and the celestial-themed animatronic, but over the past year it seemed to have bloomed into obsessive fascination on Sun's part. We could classifiy it as another universal truth that one was bound to eventually become infatuated and captivated by their “nemesis“.
Placing you two in the same room was a very bad idea. Or a very good idea, it honestly depended on who you asked. For instance, the general public that had come to listen to your long nonsensical argument had arrived there for the sole purpose of finding out whether you two would passionately kiss somewhere in the middle of the whole discussion.
The suspense was maddening, the tension was more than palpable. One of the clerks was fanning himself with a folder, wondering whether or not he had taken his heart medication earlier.
“Could somebody open a window, please?“
There had always been an unusually thin line between love and hatred, enemies and lovers, but somehow it seemed oddly fitting for you and Sun to combine both at the same time with no problem.
After a well crafted comeback, believing himself to be the victor, Sun winked at you, triumphant and his grin wide and sinister.
“Was that as good for you as it was for me?“
“My dear sir, I cannot say, I hardly even felt anything.“
“I was under the impression that we have long abandoned this little “playing hard to get“ scenario.“
“Goodness, that sounds serious, delusions could be a sign of a system malfunction, you should get that checked, Sun.“
“Don't be so high and mighty. You will lose today, both the case and the little bet we made.“
“Oh, my, so ominous. I sure am devastated on the inside, inconsolable, I shall probably never recover.“
You were driving him insane. Healthy competition was usually highly encouraged, but this was beyond ridiculous. No matter how eloquent and skillful he was in the art of rhetoric, you refused to yield. You were still a relatively young jurist, having passed the bar examination barely two years prior, but your legal reasoning was unusually innovative and your application of creative solutions to impossible problems was astounding. There wasn't a single thing that Sun could throw at you without you catching it and throwing it ten times harder right back at him.
The judge, an elderly man that was diligently counting down the days till it was socially acceptable to retire from what was regularly a life tenure, was listening to the two of you bicker as if it were the latest installment of his favourite picture show series. He wondered if he should simply let you silly lovebirds borrow his chambers for a minute or two. Or thirty, wherever the feeling takes you. He was very supportive.
He was also the only judge in the building willing to tolerate the nonsense that you and the Celestial Prosecutors kept pulling off in the courtroom. It was free entertainment and he needed some amusement in his old age. The rest of the judicial assembly would have to pull straws each time a new case had to be assigned.
He remembered how different things had been a few years prior.
It was an open secret that the judicial assembly missed the old days when the esteemed Judge Eclipse had still been in office, before his abrupt retirement under unusual circumstances. Eclipse would always volunteer to do all the work, snatching case files from everybody's hands and closing himself in his chambers, leaving the possibility for the rest of the assembly to simply enjoy their coffee and gossip in the conference room.
Intense and immensely dedicated to his work, unyielding, unforgiving and merciless, Eclipse had been akin to a dark deity of the afterlife, deciding the fate of souls that had succumbed to corruption. His golden eyes had held nothing but pure contempt for evildoers, his mechanical heart perpetually hungry for the suffering of the wicked. Court sessions under his administrations had been a thing of horror for some and an example of a job well-done for others. Deranged and disproportionate punishments had made Eclipse quite unpopular in the criminal milieu, and there had been quite a few attempts on his life that would usually end up with the assassins themselves having their spines twisted into a pretty pretzel.
Self-defense, clear-cut, no questions asked, nobody left to mourn a few dismembered rulebreakers.
The euphoria had been too intoxicating, the flesh of Evil too delicious, the screams of the damned a symphony unmatched.
One thing had lead to another, interfering into interrogations, conflict of interest, violating every possible rule of criminal procedure, prisoners being found dead in their cells, acquitted individuals dying under suspicious circumstances mere days after their release.
The courthouse and law enforcement would always turn a blind eye. Whispers in the corridors, silent gasps in the archive rooms, everybody knew of Eclipse's tendencies, his desire to play god. Nobody had dared to make a fuss about the whole situation, not even when a few fellow judges that had been accused of bribery had one day "mysteriously" disappeared. It was all a silent approval. Crime statistics had been fixing themselves, who would dare interfere?
Deciding to return to topics less grim and vile, the current judge smiled fondly at the prosecutors and the sly defense lawyer before him. Such a sweet change, whimsy and passion reigning supreme, banishing the sepulchral dread of olden times.
Contrary to custom, Sun was working with his brother Moon by his side. It was definitely unusual for two prosecutors to work together on same cases and appear in court as a team, but nobody had ever complained about it and regulations had no explicit rule against it. It was Moon's duty to make a thorough research and keep Sun informed of any new facts or legal acts in order for Sun to prepare a proper presentation to enthrall everyone in the courtroom or ask for appropriate actions.
They used all of their individual strengths and skills to achieve the best results. Reminiscent of their older brother's inclinations, their methods and ruthless determination in the pursuit of their version of justice at all costs had become notorious, eventually making the general public refer to them as the Grand Inquisitors.
All of that aside, the two of them still had to make sure that each investigation went perfectly by the books and that there were no irregularities made by law enforcement in the initial stages of each investigation. Being a prosecutor was akin to being a sea captain that constantly kept hoping that his crew was sober. One single mistake meant that the other party would pounce on it like a feral animal.
And pounce you did.
For instance, you were easily capable of rendering a whole confession useless by claiming it was inadmissible evidence obtained through coercion. It was no trouble for you to stage a whole scene.
You had pulled off such a stunt a few times in the past and the results would always follow a hilarious pattern: the confused police officers would simply blink and question their general reality on whether they had truly applied excessive force, the public audience would try not to snack too loudly on the popcorn they had brought, the defendant would do his best to keep crying and keeping his story straight about how absolutely devastated and tortured he was, the judge would hope that no reporters would come crawling in the courtroom and asking about human rights violations. Again.
The celestial twins were unused to such audacity and blows to their pride. Sun and Moon had always been a powerful force that had never known the meaning of failure, the playing field had been theirs to dominate and it was pure madness to even think that anyone could place an end to that. And then you showed up and suddenly the courtroom was a circus, you were the ringmaster and you turned the two of them into the lead jesters of the whole show.
They were furious with you for making a mockery of their act. How dare you?
Moon did his best to remain subtle with his temper, even if his pencils did audibly snap in half from time to time. He had to keep an appearance a patient man, someone courteous and polite. It was of great importance to keep that thick layer of ice above the boiling madness that stirred deep within.
Oh, how you tested his patience still. It all kept accumulating, over and over, cracking the ice bit by bit.
He could write a masterpiece of scholarly analysis and a seemingly perfect reconstruction of events, and you would destroy all of that effort simply by telling him he wrote a date wrong, messing up the entire chronology and all further conclusions, rendering the whole thing useless. You always tripped him with the little things, formalities, so many tidbits that made the whole construction fall apart.
The devil was in the details, after all.
Speaking of which, since the majority of your clients were desperate people that had strayed from the morals of society into a life of crime for mere survival, you had earned yourself the title of Devil's Advocate among your colleagues. The world of your clients, however, was quite grateful for your services and assistance, all of them calling you their Fairy Godparent.
You got them out of trouble, you found them alternatives and new respectful jobs, you gave and gave, granting wishes and making them all happily dance to your music. If anyone had issues or needed help, they knew who to come to. You were waiting with good life advice, cupcakes, a hot cup of coffee and assurance that you would solve all of their problems. In many cases, you were the last angel before the gates of Hell for them, grasping their hand and pulling them back to safety.
After all, placing their fate in your hands was a far better alternative than sinking deeper into darkness and one day being inevitably visited in the middle of the night by the Judge of the Damned, having their life taken as the midnight bells rang.
Because of this looming threat, you did your best to save each soul you came across.
In this particular case, it was a young man that had gotten himself in some serious trouble after associating with a dangerous faction of drug dealers. Such business always came with its risks and there was no true loyalty nor help if someone got caught. Moreover, it was common practice to silence the person from revealing the others by simply ordering their assassination in prison. The young man had gotten way in over his head, too ambitious and too confident in his own abilities, intoxicated with the romantic ideas of what he had seen in movies.
His older brothers had approached you for help after his arrest and you had accepted, of course. You would get the boy out of trouble, free of charge, under the condition that he dedicated himself to getting his life back on track and you would be making sure things stayed that way.
Sun was still waiting for you to speak, and the rest of the room was wondering whether or not you were truly speechless this time or if you were simply preparing something spectacular. Of course, it was the latter. You had pulled a lot of strings and cashed in a few favours, but it was all for a good cause. You heard Sun's impatient voice:
“Ready to admit defeat? There is no conceivable way for you to counter any of this evidence, it is over.“
“Only for those that lack the imagination to do so. I call in question the credibility and the competence of your toxicology expert. You cannot claim that my client was in possession or consuming a certain substance, if its chemical components do no even match what you claim it to be.“
“Pure cocaine was found on his person. He has been known to associate himself with dangerous smugglers of forbidden narcotics.“
“A second analysis, that I took the liberty of ordering from another expert, proved that it was mere flour.“
“Excuse me?“
“He is a baker's apprentice. Poor boy, he is just keeping all of that secret out of shame, which is why we did not mention this earlier, by the way. Alas, I cannot keep this silence anymore, for I must act in his best interest. You see, ever since he was a small lad, it was his dream to make fine Danish pastries, but everyone in his general vicinity was obsessed with the whole “dashing gangster“ persona that is so popular right now, so no wonder that this sad young man, just look at his eyes, this poor innocent child tried to emulate all of that simply to get some respect from his cruel peers. So, he walked around with flour and pretended that it was cocaine. It is all because of societal pressure.“
Had Sun been gifted with a detachable jaw, it would have fallen on the floor by now. It was madness. Your claim was pure madness. He wasn't certain, but he did feel as if all of his systems were about to crash down in a sad attempt at self-preservation. Moon's crimson eyes had turned black and he seemed as if he were silently rebooting himself. It was best for everyone to have him unconscious for a bit, otherwise he would have probably gotten violent. The stenographer stopped typing and blinked at you in a very “what the actual hell“ manner and the old judge took his glasses off emphatically as people normally do in such situations for no specific reason other than dramatic effect.
“God, I haven't felt this much excitement since my last divorce.“
The defendant was very much surprised to hear this as well. He gestured for you to come closer and whispered to you:
“I am a baker's apprentice?“
“You are now. Be the role, become the role, make the rolls. Also, you start next Monday at five in the morning, I got everything already arranged with the baker on main street. This whole process should by over by then.“
“What? The only dough I know how to roll is the monetary one.“
“You learn while you live.“
The poor man looked at you with the expression of someone that would really rather just go to prison than go through such blood pressure oscillations.
His brothers, three friendly chaps in dashing suits, homburg hats and leather gloves, were all smiling and holding a thumbs up in encouragement. He turned around to look at them with a genuinely desperate expression. Listening to this nonsense was punishment enough, regardless if he did the crime or not. They had assured him that you were the best, but nobody ever said that your methods were the sanest.
You cleared your throat and spoke up again:
“In light of this and to support these claims, I enclose all the necessary documents and I am prepared to call the relevant new witnesses if you agree, Your Honour.“
“I can adjourn, I personally got no problem with continuing this on a later day of the week. I have to tell you, you kids are keeping me young, I always thought that my later years in life would be boring. Boy, I sure was wrong.“
A partially drunk man from the spectator area began to clap.
“Bravo!“
The bailiff looked over at him.
“What are you clapping for?“
“I thought this was the theatre.“
“It's a courtroom, is what it is.“
“What's the difference?“
Just as you were about to sit down, Moon was suddenly by your side, having miraculously finished his little reboot session and feeling more energized than ever. It was rather concerning, since he was capable of pulling such a stunt within mere seconds, changing location so fast before you could even register it. You had a theory that he was probably capable of some type of flight or teleportation.
You made a little squeak of surprise as you felt his hands on your shoulders, pulling you close to his face plate, crimson eyes trying to cut your soul to shreds. Nevertheless, you refused to lose your decorum and you kept up an air of aristocratic disinterest.
“May I help you, sir?“
“Don't give me that. You know exactly what you are doing. I am not letting you humiliate us like this again.“
“And you are going to make things better for yourself by intimidating me in public like this? I really want to know what the plan is, I'm curious now.“
“Curiosity will kill you one day, little devil fairy.“
“I am certain that satisfaction will bring me back. What exactly do you want from me?“
He squeezed your shoulders and began to lightly massage them. It was oddly pleasurable, since you were tense and tired. Moon's voice was low, raspy, almost a whisper, akin to that of a nocturnal demon that haunted the shadows and ruled over nightmares.
“What goes around comes around and one day I will humiliate you, as well. I will tear those fairy wings apart.“
“Do you think I am afraid of you?“
“You should be. But, yes, I do have an additional request. Meet us in the conference room as soon as we are done here. We wish to talk.“
For a moment it seemed as if the two of you had forgotten that you were in an oddly compromising embrace in front of the entire courtroom. The same man from the spectator area whispered to the bailiff:
“Is this when the smooching starts? I could have sworn I read it somewhere in the play synopsis.“
“This is not the theatre!“
“Listen, Shakespeare once said that the whole world is a stage. He also said that we should kill all the lawyers, though, but I vote that we keep these three here, I need to know what happens next.“
A normal person would refuse to accept Moon's request after his little outburst, but you wished to talk to him and Sun, as well. Perhaps the old saying of “keep your friends close and your enemies closer“ had some wisdom to it, but you also genuinely wished to somewhat make peace with them. Maybe even explain your perspective and your ideas of justice to them. If things got really wild, possibly even form some fragile bond of friendship.
“Alright, I will be there, I just need some time to get my things first and I will also fetch a cup of coffee.“
You pushed him away and he allowed you to do so. However, his gaze was still on you even as everyone had risen and prepared to leave for the day. He watched you as you cheerfully talked with your client and his family, so warm, so caring. They gave you presents to show their appreciation, bags full of chocolates, teddy bears and a ridiculously large plush rabbit. Such whimsical things, childish and ridiculous, and yet your eyes almost had sparkles from how happy you were.
You were considered a beauty by many, but you were not coquettish, ignoring any amorous comments with your usual aristocratic disdain. Your hair was long and soft, well taken care of, but there were always a few little disobedient tufts that almost appeared like tiny and cute devil horns. It was impossible to straighten them out and you simply let them be.
You had a penchant for black pinstripe suits. However, the professional sterness was mitigated by the presence of a star-shaped pink diamond brooch pinned to the striped bow on your chest area. Moon found it conveniently suitable for your “fairy godparent“ aesthetic. The diamond would catch even the faintest amounts of light, reflecting it on surrounding walls to signify that you were approaching. You were wondrous, gentle hues of pink always heralding your arrival.
Sun spoke to him as the two of them made their way to the conference room, distracting him from his reveries:
“They are so cold to us and yet so warm to them. Did you see that smile?“
“Our fairy sees value in miscreants and mongrels. It is only a matter of time before those strays bite the hand that feeds them and then the little fool will come crying to us.“
“It would be cruel of us to refuse them a warm embrace, brother.“
Moon pondered the thought, the potential image of you in a disheveled state, disappointed and heartbroken. There was something wonderfully poetic about the idea of your rose garden withering away. It was a fair trade for all the times you kept trying to ruin their own view of the world. He and Sun were the righteous hands of justice and not even you could protect your little army of demons forever, shielding them with your dark angel wings till one day their final feather crumbles to dust. A misguided fallen little seraph had to have limits.
Sun and Moon waited for good while for you to arrive. Getting coffee was serious business, after all.
The windows in the conference room were covered with Venetian blinds, creating a game of light and shadow, giving it an air of mystery and melancholy. However, the moment you entered, your diamond brooch cast little sparkles of warm pink all over the walls.
You were carrying the bags with gifts and also balancing your coffee cup. It was honestly a miracle you did not spill everything yet. You set it all on the large table and for a moment you almost seemed to have forgotten the two animatronics even existed as you were fiddling with the little treats you had received.
“These chocolates are my favourite. It is a shame you two can't eat, you are missing pure heaven. Now, what exactly did you two want to talk about?“
Sun was very straightforward and went right down to business.
“You cheated, lied and manipulated facts today.“
“Me? I can only aspire to be that productive in one single afternoon.“
“Furthermore, you shamelessly tried to avoid the consequences of losing our little bet.“
“Tell me something: are you more upset about the case or the bet? It seems to me as if the latter is tormenting you more than the former.“
“I am not answering that.“
“If you wanted a date, all you had to do was ask like a sensible man, we don't need these convoluted schemes for something that simple.“
“Would you, then?“
“No.“
“See, this is why we need the schemes.“
“Such a tragedy your problems are, Sun.“
You opened another box of chocolates and you were wondering whether to try the one with dark ganache filling or the one with hazelnut cream. You were rudely interrupted when Moon lifted your chin up to look at him.
“You are no longer going to prance around acting as if the justice system is your own personal circus. If we expose what you did today, you will be kicked out of the Lawyers' Association and you will lose your license to practice.“
“That sounds so depressing when you put it that way.“
“I personally can appreciate what you were trying to do for all those people in the past year or so, but enough is enough. We could have offered you a plea bargain, had you only asked us. We are more than happy to settle if those puppies of yours mean that much to you, but they will need to serve time, whether you like it or not.“
“When they get in the system, it's over, it will haunt them and follow them for the rest of their lives, from getting employment all the way to daily life and relationships.“
“None of that is your concern, Y/N. You cannot save everyone.“
“With all due respect, Moon, you have no right to tell me what to do. I do not hate you, but I will not tolerate you being in my way either. Do not be fooled by my kind nature, you have no idea who you are playing with. Dreams can become Nightmares fairly quickly.“
“I am saying all of this because I do not want you to share the same unfortunate fate that keeps repeating itself in your family. Always best friends with the wrong lot. You need to stop fraternizing with criminals, for your own good.“
Moon expected a specific reaction from you with that statement, foolishly assuming that he would hit the right spot, that he would cause fear, pain, uncertainty and a need to run somewhere for some emotional safety. Even Sun knew that he had gone too far with that topic.
You were not having it. Yes, you were a regal and delicate flower. However, that flower was also poisonous and with plenty of thorns. You huffed at him.
“Oh, so we are playing that card now? While we are on the subject of family tradition and dubious practices, I am well aware of the person that gets rid of the truly bad people. Did he ever come for any of my current and recent clients? No. Therefore I don't see why you are so determined to lecture me about helping those that only do crime out of necessity, not evil. If anything, this is just petty revenge because you hate losing and because you are a manipulative jerk with no empathy for the misfortunate, Moon. If you wish to punish someone, start with yourself.“
That certainly did hit a nerve.
Moon went over to the window, pulling the blinds shut and letting the room bathe in darkness, the pink light disappearing. You blinked to adjust your eyes.
“Is this really necessary?
Moon's voice was unusually low, almost a whisper:
"Is darkness not a familiar thing to you, little devil fairy? You certainly seem to linger in the shadows, refusing to see the light, you are blind and unable to grasp reality as it is."
You sighed and shrugged.
"That is still better than believing in blind justice. Also, at least I got the comfort of knowing that Sun over here cannot see anything right now, either.“
The daylight animatronic made a huff at your words.
“I still know the basic layout of the room, thank you very much.“
Sun then leaned over to you and whispered:
“Now, why did you have to tell him all that? He is very touchy on that subject.“
“Well, he started it.“
“And you had to continue it?“
“Yes. I too am allowed to be petty.“
Moon's crimson optics were the only light left and they were getting closer, wicked and menacing. Their glow suddenly disappeared and all that was heard was Moon's malicious cackling. Even with Sun present, you knew you were pretty much screwed and that it was best if you made your merry way in the opposite direction.
An interesting chain of events followed that led to even more interesting consequences. You reached for the nearby bag that had the giant bunny plushie in it, throwing it in the general direction of Moon's laughter, hoping that it would hit him and buy you enough time to run out of the room. However, you miscalculated while waving your hand, accidentally hitting Sun in the face instead. In your defense, you could barely see a damn thing in the dark.
As this happened, Sun stepped backwards out of sheer instinct, bumping right into Moon as he was trying to elegantly sneak up. This caused Moon to lose balance and fall on the floor. As he tried to catch onto the table to pull himself back up, his hand landed directly on the coffee cup and the whole contents spilled over the edge right onto him, ruining his coat, vest and shirt.
Needless to say how much noise you three idiots had made in the process.
You reached for another bag, and you began to swing it around without a care in the world.
“Stay back, both of you, I am armed with plushies and I am not afraid to use them.“
Sun's face kept being caught in the collateral damage, of course. With a swift motion, he managed to catch you and pick you up, placing you on the table and pinning your wrists to it to stop you from further attacking him with such a deadly weapon. Meanwhile, Moon was removing his coffee-stained coat and vest, lamenting how the whole fabric was ruined now.
“This is not how I envisioned this meeting to transpire.“
The whole scene was then interrupted when a clerk opened the door, seeing the two celestial animatronics looming over you while you were lying on the table, Sun holding your wrists and Moon having half his clothes off.
The man blinked a few times, before clapping in joy.
“Oh, my god, finally. I have been placing my bets on the three of you for months. I have to tell the others that they owe me money. They said you three would get together by December, but I was a visionary and I said somewhere in Fall. Ah, passion! Such a fantastic thing. Have fun, you crazy lovebirds, you! I'll tell the group of people that is standing right outside not to disturb you for the next few hours, okay? Okay, take care.“
He closed the door and left, leaving the room in darkness again. A few moments passed and you burst out laughing, unable to control yourself. The situation was absurd and you were starting to love every minute of it.
“I must say, this madness is better than some boring date. We should do it again sometime.“
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no-shxme · 7 months
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i read tip the scales (im about to go to bed) and OH MY GOD???????? OH MY GOD.
okay so disclaimer i know NOTHING about zed literally all i know is in reference to kayn i know even LESS about shen
but
BUT
OLD MAN YAOI???????? OLD MAN YAOI. THE ANGST OF OLD MISTAKES THAT THEY BOTH WISH THEY COULD TAKE BACK AND BOTH OF THEM YEARNING FOR THINGS TO HAVE TURNED OUT DIFFERENTLY. OUGHGJFHFHFHGJGHUEJCHKEOFHFNIWJVIFFHLHVULSYKCHL I CANNOT PROPERLY EXPRESS HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS OH MY GOD
"take me back to kinkou" DYKSLJGYKSULFYIDYJ???????? DKYSYKGHLDYOHKLDYIGILFTJ
GENUINELY I HAVE NO WORDS I ABSOLUTELY LOVED THIS HOLY FUCK THIS IS SO WELL DONE
shen/zed is like, THE old man yaoi in league. (at least for me lol. tfgraves is on the fringe but they're not old enough.)
godd i remember writing that fic as a commission and then it really just Got Away from me. fldsjkaljkasfd its very old but im glad it holds up to you :sob: i think the tragic thing about shenzed is playing into the yearning. (i love writing yearning.) and for them its so painful.
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bixels · 8 months
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Your April-Jacqueline is the best example of a female himbo I've ever seen
(And no I do not mean bimbo because they are different and men can be bimbos too)
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Thanks.
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tsurudraws · 2 years
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getting back into painting my dragon bois more so a lil tutorial for how i paint scales!
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lunamond · 2 months
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Love it when a modern "progressive" show makes all the evildoers physically disabled.
Larys has a Clubfoot, Aemond gets his eye cut out, and now Aegon is burnt and missing appendages.
Isn't it convenient that we can immediately tell a person is bad because their body looks different?
And of course, we don't explore any discrimination against these characters because they're horrible, and we shouldn't feel bad for horrible people.
People were mean to Larys because of his Clubfoot? But don't you know he has a gross foot fetish?
Aemond has impaired vision? But his eyepatch looks cool, and he is still a good fighter, so what is he even complaining about?
Aegon has been severely burnt? But he is a rapist and so let's make jokes about his dick burning off, lol.
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deakin03 · 1 year
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thump thump
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userautumn · 13 days
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stormingfrost · 3 months
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Kinda obsessed with the historical context of Rise of the Guardians. Pitch wanting the Dark Ages to come back, which historically was the decline of culture and records. The Guardians rose at the same time as the Renaissance with the rise of culture, knowledge, and science. (Tooth in particular mentions that she hasn’t been out in the field for 440 years, give or take, which would put that smack dab in the middle of the Renaissance) 
The way Pitch doesn’t want the world to change, the way the Guardians change in tune with the world. The way Jack, who lived in has a human in the 17th or 18th century, who lived in the time after the Renaissance and lived witnessing the world all the way to the modern era, is there to show the Guardians how much they missed and how they can further change and improve for the more modern world. These characters are immortal beings who have so much power over the world, it makes so much sense that when they fall and rise in power it impacts the world that they want to influence, for better or for worse. 
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txttletale · 1 year
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some people on this website scare me a little like i'll make a post like 'super mario has been acquitted of any role in the 1929 valentine's day massacre' and then someone will reblog tagged like #1929 #super mario #video game mascots #gang warfare #organized crime #1920s #mario #super mario on trial #super mario acquitted from participation in violent crimes #funny #post and it's like. hello i didn't know the dewey decimal system had a blog
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missing-sock-misto · 2 months
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So I saw this poll by @thefakehedgehogaroundhere asking who is hornier, Bomba or the entire cast of CATS.
And Bomba is a gorgeous, sexy, fantastic and wonderful. But she is not hornier than 30-some characters, a group which includes both Demeter and the Rum Tum Tugger.
And I may have gotten inspired 😂
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Tugger loves his late and dramatic entrances XD
The poll is here! Consider this my propaganda XD
(No Bomba’s were hurt in the creation of this comic. Cats land on their feet)
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astrolavas · 4 months
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so in your mermaid au what is belos? is he also a merman
he wears this
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When the Judge of the Damned and the Devil's Advocate decide to play a game of Tip the Scales.
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I am so excited to share these two! The grim Judge Eclipse and the witty defense lawyer Y/N are a part of my Tip the Scales AU. Eclipse is a retired judge that currently operates as a cloaked avenger known as the Judge of the Damned, seeking those that had escaped punishment in court.
This inevitably has him clash with Y/N's ideals when he targets their clients, so the two make little bargains for people's "souls" depending on whose innocence or redemption Y/N can prove in a given amount of time.
At the same time, Sun and Moon are court prosecutors and Y/N's bitter adversaries, the rivalry between them legendary, the public giving the boys the titles of Grand Inquisitors and Y/N the title of the Devil's Advocate. Sun and Moon navigate through Y/N's playful underworld and slowly learn that there is still some good left even in the darkest places, second chances can indeed exist.
When Y/N's old friend Monty gets wrongfully accused, Y/N does all in their power to convince Sun and Moon to secretly cooperate with them to figure out the dark secrets of what had truly happened, old and powerful enemies emerging once more from the past and casting a dark shadow over their future.
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guppygiggles · 25 days
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Aheh. Uh.
…Yeah.
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lil-inky · 1 year
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HAPPY BORTH TO @paintedkinzy-88!! It be a double driller strike! 💛❤️
Textless version under the cut:
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twinkle-art · 10 months
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feeling better?
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wishingstarinajar · 9 months
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A tiny belated New Year's gift for @stankychee with her Reverie and my Ephialtes enjoying a lot of sparkles!
*mwah* Hope you'll have a good year, Chee!
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