#just so tired and empty
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#feel like I'm drowning#just so tired and empty#being in a relationship for so long only to realize they're having a hard time having romantic feelings for you after so many missteps#and now it being out in the open and I'm just panicking trying to mend what's essentially years of mistakes and baggage#i know I made a lot of mistakes and honestly she should've probably left me a while ago because of how unstable I am#I just feel so fucking stupid for not realizing what I had and having a hard time dealing with the fact that it was me being a shithead#and it was me not being affectionate enough for her to feel loved romantically and that just makes me feel so fucking broken#she's like a sister to me and I don't know what I'd do without her. I just don't know how much longer I can keep starving for affection#even though it's literally my fault that I am here in the first place... even if it was already the case before my latest episode#I certainly didn't make anything better..#back to crying into my plushie and maladaptive daydreaming i guess
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I think I’m unmotivated
#just so tired and empty#prob depression but yknow#that’s usual. I mean thsi is also usual#just don’t care much for anything or and generally too tired to do anything#not even drawing or eating much#I’m not starving or anything just don’t want to eat my usual things l#I’ll just go to bed. hope it goes away#ruse rambles
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cursed kids v2 ⚠️👹
i've been a jjk first years stan since day one and have been wanting to redraw the first art i did featuring the three of them
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#itadori yuuji#fushiguro megumi#kugisaki nobara#yuuji#megumi#nobara#fanart#jjk fanart#im so tired help but theyre DONE im sososoosos pleased with them#even yuuji who dug his heels in to th very end :'>>>#wow 2020 rly was 4 years ago huh#to my credit i still think the designs i came up with in th og r honestly really good???#obv i didn't do a fullbody redraw (n thank god fr that) so i couldn't include All my details and there were some things that i edited#but overall they r solid !!!! i rly regret tht i couldn't include nobara's fishnets dgfhs#gave her her bat instead . equivalent exchange :)#she has one in the original but i specifically remember being bummed that the pose didnt let me show the nails that were in it#so took Full advantage of the new pose here !! she has killed before and will kill again#other changes....yuuji's omamori earring n sword details r New! as is the decision to include his canon scars :> fits the vibe#megumi changed the least?? changed the tassels n colour of his shoulder kanji to match yuuji and gave him a cigarette to fill empty space#other than that i think th majority of his changes r just me getting better at drawing megu#god the edited poses make these designs sing im so happy i did this#these r my kids !!!!! they have grown with me!!!!!#i am very proud and also sleep deprived and i need to not look at these anymore
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#vibe check!!!#killugon#killua zoldyck#gon freecss#hunter x hunter#im. so tired like yikes. head empty just them.#why did i spend time to poorly color this… another of lifes lil mysteries <3
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I don't think I ever published these so ig.....
There's a last one but err warning for gore and blood(mostly just ripping an arm off)
#I'm not okay#got so sad I started imagining angst scenarios with myself instead of some characters??#and also ended up writing a short thing of killer dying...#and drew a page of suffering with eyes filling up the empty space...#and cried for 2 nights straight which is a lot compared to how it took me 6 years to start crying again#anyways simply. I just want to cry again-#anyways idk how but I got some determination so there might actually be something of this one comic#even though I want to work on other things.. I'm just too tired(sad) for that#sans au#utmv#undertale au#kross ship#criller#kist#killer sans#dust sans#cross sans#horror sans#dust x killer#killer x dust#cross x killer#killer x cross#sanscest#UwU#cw blood#cw gore
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I'm not getting into The Giving Tree discourse...
#personal#delete later#idk i just saw a post of the “alternate ending” comic on my dash and everyone praising it as an improvement and “fixing” the original#which i kinda resent#while tulli and i was taking my nephew to a book store we walked around the kids section and found the giving tree and we read through it#and i was so stricken by how profoundly sad it is. it's not a happy story#in the end both versions tell the exact same lesson. but one flat out tells you and the other makes you sit with a pit in your stomach#and work to find the answer#i dunno it's kids literature but kids literature is important. i don't wanna discredit anyone's bad memories with the book but also i think#sometimes it's ok to make kids a bit sad and upset with fiction.#tweet that goes “what if romeo and juliet didn't kill themselves and explained to the audience that family feuds are bad”#idk you can't seriously read the original book as an adult and say it's glorifying self-martyrdom#when the final drawing of the book is of an old tired man sitting on arotting stump with his hat fallen to the ground#again i don't wanna invalidate people's feelings if they enjoy the alt version i think it's really nice too. but the original has its#purpose too. imagine if at the end of the lorax they show that the boy did it and replanted the world happy ending#wait they did that in the movie shit#i dunno i just love somber children's literature. tulli and i are talking about moomin right now and how the series ends with the moomin#family just leaving. and nobody gets to say goodbye to them. their friends have to find ways to live with the emptiness they've left behin
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Head empty, doodle another zev.
#Baldur’s gate 3#bg3#bg3 zevlor#my art#head empty so just doodle doodle#stylised a tad maybe#brain is too tired so the hand wandered with the pen#oh zev#he’s a cutie ok
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read a fic where gillion made destiny’s blade out of water and i wanted to draw it
+some pretzels bc i love her
#jrwi riptide#jrwi#jrwi fanart#gillion tidestrider#fanart#lavrose art#jrwi pretzel#i also felt like painting#and avoiding homework hehehehe#i don’t think i’ve ever drawn water like this actually lmfao#i tried my best#art#doodle#did this while watching trail to oregon and ani#i’m so excited for nerdy prudes must die#ok i’m done with the tags#just roll with it#SIKE#canvas is very empty but i don’t wanna resize gill i’m lazy and tired
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The thing about Jayce and Mel is that like. She does not view him as an investment. That is just certifiably false. You have to skip over all her scenes to believe that.
In the beginning she does! She absolutely does! She conceives of their relationship as a business one - where she makes profit off his inventions, and he profits from her business and political acumen, both monetarily and powerwise. And overall, she believes she's fulfilled her half of the bargain.
It's only when he comes back to her after Viktor gets sick that she realizes he believes this is something deeper. And it's notable that she responds to that emotion - she opens up about herself too, comforts him, and expresses real emotionality about it. It's then that we see his ideals start to influence her - especially reawakening in her a desire for nonviolence.
Wanting to do things peacefully is something that's been with her since she was a child. It is what guides her away from Noxus, because her pacifism just does not fit there. It's why she loved Piltover so - they aren't a violent expansionist empire, which is a really low bar, but that's what she's grown up in.
She never finds the violence in Zaun, because she never goes looking for it. This is her fault, and her flaw, let me make that clear. She has some of the most power in the city, and should know about what kind of violence is holding up, and work to resolve it, truly. But she doesn't, because she's focused on her own exploits, and has so insulated herself away from the class struggle that it does not register for her until it grows to violence.
And then, once that violence comes, she maintains that pacifism with an iron grip, more than Jayce himself. It is Jayce who constructs (almost) all the HexTech weapons that are used in the Undercity, in Caitlyn's police squadron. He betrays the oaths that he's made to his partner, where Mel keeps the promise she's made to her's. She is the only politician left to try to tamp down on the worst of Ambessa's instincts, and her removal from Piltover is what marks it's descent into militarism.
She is ultimately a complicated woman, with a bunch of interesting relationships to Piltover and Zaun. I think you can divide Piltover as a city neatly between her, Jayce, and Caitlyn - each of them standing for some of Piltover's best instincts, and some of its worst.
#telespeak#mel medarda#jayce talis#It's why I find Mel discourse so tiring. Like.#This is a show full of complicated characters.#If we are willing to look beyond Victor emptying people and Caitlyn becoming a puppet dictator and Jayce literally killing a child#and see them as full and complicated people who are trying their best with worldviews that are influenced by their circumstances#why is she where we stop. I mean I know why. but still.#I don't even like MelJay. But like. It's there for a reason.#sidebar I find the notion that Jayce of all people should hold her accountable for Zaun just. exhausting.#Jayce is a piltoverian through and through. He loves someone from Zaun yes but that relationship is soaked with casual classism#There is a lot to be said about Mel ignoring Zaun! But he does too#it's something she reflects in him#The biggest critique of her arc I have is that someone in Zaun shoud've taken her to task#(My vote is on Vi just because she should get to confront the head of the faceless machine that's produced every tragedy in her life)#(But any Zaunite would do honestly. Just not heckin. Jayce.)#I do want to make a post about how Jayce Mel and Cait kinda cover all of Piltover's values#Cait as their enforcer arm Jayce as their scientist and Mel as their businesswoman/politician#but that's for another post. really this is two posts squeezed into one#I am just exhausting seeing people who do not care about Mel in her tag. Like. She exists outside of JayVik. the show is not subtle with th#arcane
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"I am a world, Percy. I am a forest."
#hfth spoilers#hfth#hello from the hallowoods#episode 174#diggory graves#wouldnt it be crazy if a diggory got Marolmar s traits#haha unless?#i love diggory so much#i feel like whenever i draw diggory now they just look tired#i thought about adding a crown but didnt in the end#i liked the empty space#also earring wearing diggory my beloved
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🥺 i just let out the softest whimper
#he's sooo babygirl#doesn't deserve this shit#god i really wanted the vikings to get one (1) playoff win#the whole interview is just justin rattling off perfect PR answers (don't blame sam it's on the execution blah blah blah)#while staring with empty eyes into the abyss#he's tired 💔#but still so good at pr#the difference between jj and ja'marr...#justin shuts down and goes on automatic while ja'marr can't hide his emotions his frustration his anger#but ja'marr gets over it. in like record time (see super bowl loss)#whereas i kind of get the feeling that justin internalizes this shit (side effect of being like a two star recruit out of high school)#mirrors of each other#justin jefferson#😔 i'm sad for him
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Whenever I see the they/them please in your bio I am strongly reminded of the meme where the guy says "he looks very polite", the t-rex arms thing that some people so, or of a sad little teary wet dog. I really hope you know that you absolutely don't have to ask, that you could just say they/them.
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#ah#on some level I know yes#and it's very nice of you to come and say that to my face because it certainly feels good to hear it ;-;#answered#anonymous#this has nothing to do with anything but I've noticed that do the t-rex arms thing when I'm really tired#at one time I was emptying the dishwasher and thinking to myself 'why is this taking so much time and effort??'#then realized I had been keeping my left arm folded against my chest the whole time and was doing everything with just one hand
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every time i tell my mum about a personal difficulty i've faced due to being trans she's like "well you can't complain, you chose this" and i'm like. alright. technically true, i suppose, but also not the most tactful or helpful thing you could have said in the moment
#had an incident today where i had to pick between male and female bathrooms and the male ones had a queue for the single stall#so i went for the female one (which was empty) because i don't love standing in the men's staring at my feet hoping i don't get clocked#except as soon as i went into the female bathroom a bunch of girls came in after me and i had to hide till they'd gone#relayed this to my mum and she thought it was very funny#couldn't even be like 'actually it wasn't funny it was really scary and humiliating'#because i knew if i did she'd just be like you asked for this you knew what you were getting into etc etc#and she'd be right. technically.#lord above i am tired
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extremely disappointed by the sheer lack of quincy/drifter fics on ao3
i haven't even wrote any fanfic/stories in an extremely long time but if no one else does it i may have to take matters into my own hands
#quincy isaacs#warframe 1999#good for the amir and arthur lovers out there but im about to start writing because im very tired of the lack of quincy stuff#whether or not i can actually write depends on my energy because im in hell trying to get his accolade as well as just. head empty#but GOD he's so sweet with his gemini dating lines and i adore him. he's great and im sad there's not more stuff for him out there
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is there a way to be an eldest daughter while maintaining your sanity, your spirit, your energy, and your happiness?
#i feel selfish even by just doing small things for myself#i feel so tired and empty but no one gives a shit because i guess i’m still serving my purpose quite well#txt
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here, have another meme redraw.
#i thought it was funny#snapdonnie (post curing) is just so traumatised#beetle donnie is just distraught#unmutated is vibing#Mosquitello is probably plotting behind thise empty eyes#theyre tired#rottmnt#rottmnt donnie#open your shell to find your wings#mosquitello#snapdonnie#unmutated donnie au#meme redraw
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