#just so everyone knows i am an adult
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Do any other Clangen blogs want to be Clan neighbors? I think it's such a fun idea I've seen some do and I'd love to interact with others more! I have some events coming up that deal with two different neighboring Clans and I'd love to draw cats from other Clangens for them. Let me know if you'd like to be in-game neighbors!! :3
CutieClan is in the forest setting but honestly it doesn't really matter where your Clan is set in, I can make the interactions work out
Soooo yeah! c:
#i don't know what i'm doing but i want to be more involved in the community#we can talk about the battle cats through discord or something idk#just so everyone knows i am an adult#i'd prefer interacting with other adults#if you're a minor and interested in being clan neighbors we still can but#i am only comfortable contacting each other specifically about the comic and nothing else#and only through tumblr#clangen#warriors#warriorcats#cutieclan
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Theoretically I enjoy living with people but unfortunately when you tell people you're a neuroatypical raccoon with twelve ongoing hobbies, completely random work hours, and a series of admittedly unusual lifelong compulsions they tend to hear that and go "oh haha you're trying to be Quirky okay" and then save their ten million questions and concerns for when you can't run away
#Im venting#Sometimes I HAVE TO sleep on the floor#Sometimes I HAVE TO stand on the coffee table#I own a blowtorch because sometimes I NEED TO USE A BLOWTORCH#What kind of lives are yall leading that you just NEVER HAD AN OOPSIE AND SPILLED BEESWAX IN THE KITCHEN#Like what isn't clicking here#'Why do you have a trumpet if you can't play the trumpets because I'm an ADULT#'The leopard is creepy' your FACE is creepy#Objectively I am aware that the way I do things is Not Normal but it's Normal For Me#And so many people demanding REASONS and it's exhaustingggg#I'm autistic I'm bored and I have ten thousand hobbies and a zest for life#If you don't wanna make paper mache body armor at 3pm on a Wednesday just be open about that#But like#I did warn you#I warn EVERYONE so I KNOW I WARNED YOU#*screeching*
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spent the last couple nights watching the handplates (<- @zarla-s if you’ve never read it) comic dub with a friend of mine :-]
gaster ^
#EDIT: I JUST REALIZED I FUCKED UP WHICH EYE . IN THE THIRD PICTURE I AM FUCKING SO STUPID AUGHHH#that specific picture is an au where his left eye was fucked up instead ok? no one point out my mistake#i am clearly struggling enough here as-is#or we can say they accidentally triggered that fucked-up magic loop like as babies somehow before they were really aware of it.#and gaster somehow let this happen. i don't KNOW i'm embarrassed. i drew these at 5 am so everyone gotta be nice to me#undertale#sans#papyrus#gaster#handplates au#sketches#it is CRAAZYYY to me that the comic is like officially over. last time i watched Handplates Comic Dub was like.... 2018#and the comic officially ended in 2023 right? and it's now 2024 going on 2025#that is INSAAANNNEEE#every time gaster opened his damn mouth me and my friend were both like IS HE STUPID? for like. the entire duration of the dub#objectively untrue but also like. i mean. a little#i couldn’t really do the I AM 13 YEARS OLD comic because… he is like. two-ish maybe. and also an adult kind of#so i did what i could. LMAO
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some whiteboard Yugo with expressive wings, because im still mad ankama went thru all the trouble of making his hat expressive, but not animating. the actual things moving it.
bonus hims just because
#wakfu#wakfu season 2#wakfu s2#wakfu s4#wakfu season 4#cause adult yugo design ig#wakfu season 4 spoilers#wakfu spoilers#wakfu yugo#alibert rlly said “no wayyy i knew he was special- but from another world???”#he has wings of energy on his head that no one else that you know of has. hes a prophecy child.#i wish there was more fics about yugo's general feelings on alienation because there was literally No one like him until chibi and qilby#dragons are well known. so theyre rare but not alien to everyone#like no wonder yugo was so protective of his hat- the wings are the main thing that physically marks him as a different species#i Am not writing about it hahahahhaha#also yes the charms will be out for preorder soon i just need to finish the last design for this month
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Jason Todd's the aroace guy who doesn't realize he's aroace but is also not oblivious to how big a driving force sexual attraction is for other people. He's the type to dislike and judge men for thinking with their dicks so much and kind of think himself better than them because of the fact that he doesn't
#my dc posting#jason todd#dc#red hood#aromantic asexual jason todd#aroace jason todd#aromantic jason todd#asexual jason todd#i don't think he'd ever call himself aro or ace. at most he'd acknowledge he's kinda queer in some type of way#i dont think he thinks on attraction too much. just how he can use it to manipulate others#especially if you go with him providing protection to prostitutes/being a pimp#like he's not interested but everyone else is and good on you for making money off that 👍#jason didn't trust adults or men when he was a kid#and even though he himself is an adult man now he still doesnt#he's been saying he wishes he were a girl/woman since he was like 10 but that's going into transfem jason now#when he was a kid and someone implies he has a crush or is lusting after someone or whatever#he'd be like ''ugh why is this idiot so obsessed with sex and why does he think i am too 😒''#basically. he knows it's a motivator for other people but just doesn't care for it himself#he doesn't have time to think about his queerness he has a goddamn revenge plot to carry out!!
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like. do you ever think about how weird the mcu was to their actors around infinity war and endgame. like that was weird. what do you mean some of them only got sections of scripts and filmed scenes in parts and didn’t always know what character they were talking to. that’s weird.
#i might be misremembering but i don’t think i am?#and i know tom spoiled some things but like. what was this. they’re all professional adults#how are you supposed to make good acting choices when you don’t know what’s happening?#i assume they stopped doing that because i didn’t hear of it afterward#either that or they made everyone contractually obligated to shut up#but i would hope they realized it was pointless especially bc people stopped caring As Much after endgame#not to say people don’t care but the superhero bubble popped quite a bit TO ME#not pjo#chitter chatter#sorry I just think about this all the time because. it was weird? right???#if im wrong about what happened im sorry it’s like 7 am im just spitting random posts#(disclaimer: dropped mcu officially after no way home and stopped paying attention#for a LONG long time and only hear about it through friends so again: could be wrong)
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I've been picking mostly only the essential flirt options with lucanis in the romance so far (I've personally found the dynamic much more natural and mutual when you do that, more like forming a solid friendship slowly and inevitably becoming something else and less like you keep pushing on him and getting little back b/c he seemingly just gets overwhelmed and goes into freeze instead), and I think rye is a pretty hard person to read at the best of times even though he's been Down Real Bad from pretty early on and their chemistry as people is naturally really good. so the way the almost-kiss plays out in this playthrough feels a lot like it has the added layer of lucanis realizing that no but for sure rook is flirting and not just being kind or a good friend* it IS actually happening it's not just wishful/fearful thinking!!! and then uh. maybe going a bit too hard a bit too fast in all the excitement at that revelation haha
*in lucanis' defense he has seemingly literally never had a friend who wasn't his cousin-brother before, under those circumstances I suppose some confusion is extremely natural if not outright expected lmao
#meanwhile rook is kicking himself for being unprofessional b/c he WAS getting something important from spite there#and also lucanis had like. just woken up was that cool of me. should I have told him. should I have slowed that down???#watcher's duty crashing into watcher's longing blues ensues#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#oc: Ellaryen Ingellvar#rook x lucanis#rookanis#I think I might have done something hilarious and a little wonderful to the lucanis romance#by making a rook who's even slower to romance than he is fhskjfhsa#even here I was straight up like 'oh this is a little early for this don't you think' on rye's behalf (it's not we have to be mid-game)#imagine how he'd fare in some of the other romances you'd just bowl him over. davrin might kill him#(and also they would kill each other for unrelated reasons during it but that's another matter (affectionate I love my lads))#lucanis has been squinting at rook in stolen moments ever since the café scene like '...did I imagine that vibe. surely not right.#i'm pretty sure. but am I. I do know he likes me. but DOES he like like me or is that just what I want it to be. this is very embarrassing#for everyone involved' (it is)#davrin has had both their numbers the entire time tho. and been extremely annoyed but professional about it#he knew from the moment these two chucklefucks showed up in his recruitment mission. and has been an adult about it. mostly#even when they've made it real hard ('so I'm gonna go ahead and assume you're not letting the abomination serial killer run around#just because you're transparently excruciatingly sweet on him. right. RIGHT??')#I have accidentally given lucanis a pattern of falling for people who keep covered neck to toe at all times#but like not to be a metaphor for their emotional intimacy issues or anything haha. imagine.#I'm making my own heart so tender by imagining lucanis struggling to get rye out of his (many-layered) robes during the romance scene#and both of them laughing right from the soul in relief and delight at each other b/c like 'how could I kill a god only to be bested#by nevarran fashion. also how in the maker's name do you get dressed so quickly in the mornings this is intense'#'same way one does anything else lots of practice and a can-do attitude'/'well I'll just have to put in the practice then'#and they just hug for a while. *head in my hands* yeah okay I can be normal. I can be normal about this.
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i didn't realize how much like... "the thing that is obviously happening isn't happening" is almost just as exhausting and demoralizing and frustrating and scary as the thing itself for me. i didn't realize that aspect of things was weighing on me almost as much as the thing itself until now
#non religion#negative -#mostly in tags sorry i'm ranting#almost anytime i talk to my mom about politics it's “that's not what's really happening” “that's not what they meant”#“that's not what's going to happen”#and she thinks she's helping. she thinks she's quelling my fears or whatever#but she's not as politically involved as i am (and calls herself a conservative) and is just. saying shit#she's telling me the things i'm seeing aren't happening. that i didn't hear the things i heard#that the things they're saying are going to happen aren't going to happen#she HAS to give everyone else the benefit of the doubt#but can't give ME the benefit of the doubt that i know what the fuck i'm talking about#it doesn't make me feel less fearful in any way shape or form. i just feel like i'm going crazy#like i'm so sure her reaction to the elon clip would be “well that LOOKS bad but he probably didn't mean it like that” like#i'm losing my shit. i'm losing my shit. i'm losing my shit#she does this when i talk about being black (im biracial moms white) she does this when i talk about being gay she does this w politics lik#NO it's not a compliment when people touch my hair without asking#exposing your BLACK husband & children to your racist dad and step mom so we could “change their minds” put us in an UNSAFE POSITION#“90% of christians don't care that you're gay” INCORRECT “it doesn't matter that pence said he wants to hang gays” YES IT FUCKING DOES#“they're not going after trans adults it's just regulating what kids have access to” INCORRECT. AGAIN#i'm LOSING MY SHIT#it is INSANE the amount of grace i'm expected to extend to ppl who don't see me as human. people who want me dead. who want my friends dead#i'm blocking so many tags and people this week idec#i just can't deal rn
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lol didn’t think someone giving money would give me anxiety
#to the judge that’s gonna see this case next year and the lawyer that is representing it assuming the state idk how this all works#why has the person to say the least get to go a whole year without consequence? a known criminal who after stealing from me and being#released and again getting arrest now for gang violence or some shit she was let go? she maybe associated to the group that killed that boy#last year. and here i am panicking because im afraid to carry cash. im paranoid that imma go outside and my car will be missing. i’m get#panic attacks when i drive to close to that gym and tired going back but physically cannot get out of my car and i start to cry in the#parking lot. i’m not sitting at work shaking forcing myself not to cry because someone handed me cash and i’m afraid someone is going to#steal my purse again. you think that’s not a big deal and honestly i didn’t think it was until my purse was gone. my cards stolen and used.#my key missing EVERYTHING in my purse GONE. so many things in there plus the purse i had money and all that is stuff i paid for now im out#all that cash i’m out 500$ for a key replacement i stopped feeling safe leaving my house all my non replaceable things gone and everyone#spoke to me like it was my fault and had to stand their crying while adults told me not to use a gym locker ??? but in the same breath telli#telling me this isn’t the first time she’s done this she has a warrant for her arrest she’s known to steal cars i’m the problem and there’s#nothing they can do to help me. so while i cry because all the money i had lost and never got back i had to do ALL the work to call my bank#track where my cards were being spent at call the jpay line she transferred money to look up the person she cashapped money to call the#business she was actively spending money at ask the manger if she is currently there and if they could give the police all the receipts and#video of her there for them to act like the hero’s for my brother and i tracking her down while you all belittled me#FUCK YOU AND FUCK HER i can’t be fucking normal about STUPID mundane shit i’m stuck here shaking and crying and what you tell me later it’s#not a big deal? give me all the content of your car and wallet or purse or backpack take nothing out and see what you’re left with and how m#much you need to spend to drive your car again and to tow your car home let a stranger have all your cards and address and tell me you feel#safe#OH and for the gym to tell me they know about her she used to be an employee there she doesn’t have a membership so they don’t know how she#got in and they can’t help but she did steal from another girl that night and an employee last month and who knows how many more ppl like#that’s convenient you pos sounds like she has friends that still work at the gym and open the back door for her or just let her in that’s#crazy no ? and this is all alleged because when if i lost all these things i can’t speak on what did or didn’t happen that’s some crazy bull#shit anyways the towing company felt bad for me maybe because i hadn’t stopped crying they gave me the key replacement number and told me to#mention he referred me so i could get a discount and the layman felt back for me because when i called him i started to cry and when he told#me the price i cried harder so 500$ was the cheapest but pretty much my whole check#key man*#bad** LET ME FIX TAGS#allegedly all these ppl are privileged kids from a privileged background that grew up in a sheltered community and thing there’s no#consequences to their actions because of the lack of accountability from their parents who willing pay for people to look the other way
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Interesting. Don’t necessarily think I’m autistic but I have more going on than just ADHD and I’m not sure what that is.
#I’m not even sure if the ADHD is actually ADHD either or if it’s just technology addiction#Gonna get a REAL neuropsych evaluation at some point out of sheer curiosity as to what the fuck is wrong with me#I relate to a lot of autistic things and I relate to a lot of ADHD things; but I don’t entirely relate to the majority of either population#and I don’t relate to people with both enough to think I have both#I’ve begun treating myself as if I am autistic just for Kicks and using things that help them and it’s helping in some ways#but I know it’s probably not autism because even though I struggle socially; it’s not because of the same reasons#I understand social cues; I was only accidentally perceived as rude as a kid (and most kids are kind of blunt)#(Mostly a moderate amount of “Stop correcting me! It’s disrespectful!” from my parents)#And nowadays because of how much psychology and acting I study; I can perceive shrimp social cues#And I’m purposefully doing all the right things but it still feels like I fail social interactions because of my lack of assertiveness#which I KNOW come from being raised in a cult#so perhaps my odd social behavior is from CPTSD from being raised in a puritan doomsday cult as an only child#Because I was NOT introverted or sensitive to others as a child#I did not have routines as a child and the ones I did have were for fun and did not distress me if I strayed from them#But now I need structure as an adult because I don’t know what else to do with myself if I have nowhere to be#But at the same time everyone feels worse when they have no routine or expectations#And is it actually inattentive ADHD or severe derealization and an itch to do as many things as possible#because I spent my childhood being raised in a boring doomsday cult by disabled older parents who couldn’t physically do much?#(And I don’t fault my parents for being disabled but I do fault them for the whole doomsday cult thing)#So I spent my whole childhood doing mentally tedious things when really I’m more wired for physically spontaneous things#Because I was not allowed to walk around the neighborhood alone until I was sixteen#And I couldn’t hang out with friends I wanted to hang out with because they were bad association#So of course I got really good at drawing even though I don’t even like drawing that much#Of course I got really good at writing even though I don’t like writing that much#Now that I don’t need to escape from anything I find I actually hate drawing and writing because it’s such a chore#they make my heart rate accelerate in a way I don’t like to feel#(I hate writing less than drawing)
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Kind of hard to ask as anon
But you doing ok?
Need to vent?
Hi very kind and thoughtful of you to ask, i am doing mmmmm suboptimal but i do not need to vent to a person per se, so much as i need to say absolutely insane shit in my tags and have everyone pretend not to see <3
#my stuff#asks#this is the problem with using tumblr as a multi-role platform bc when i want to talk about my fcuking metnal illness i stress-#about my online friends judging me for it#not in like a mean sense but just that it feels like it would change their opinion of me#like on tumblr u can say you have adhd or autism (i have the latter and likely the former)#but anything more intense is regarded as sketchy#so when i’m having symptoms disease of an additional metnal illness it’s like hmmm i don’t think i’m supposed to talk about that#mostly because the majority of the time it’s something i mask over#and do subconsciously until i get particularly tired or stressed or fatigued#so when i get to those states i’m trying extra hard not to blindside everyone with what a fucking mutant i am under the surface#like yippee hooray more ammunition for some transphobe to use in 3 weeks next time i get anon hate#anyways im. tired. i need more tattoos. i need a vacation. i need a forever hug. i need to feel cute. i need things to just be okay#i need to not be fractured into so many snapping pieces i need to know what is expected of us#i need to not feel like an adult babysitting a child who’s actually controlling me#i feel weak and undisciplined but i know fixing those won’t fill the hole gnawing my heart#im going to bed. blegh.
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#second night in a row where I didn't get hardly any sleep for worry over Nini#I feel like someone scraped my insides clean like shucking a mollusk. hollow.#I know I did the right thing taking her in for that surgery but when the light of your life is sneezing and drooling blood#it's hard to believe in your own choices#I think I've pushed myself too hard this year. lent too much money to friends. did too many projects#but I am the only adult in my own life. I am the person everyone goes to for support#I don't know. it's just. I'm so fucking miserable#and I'm so insanely tired of people asking me for shit
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sadly crawls into the room. hi my sweeties
#i’m still a bit upset abt what happened earlier tbh#idk. i was fine until i saw what that person said about me#which is apparently now a deleted post#i have a screenshot tho cause i wanted to show my sister..#maybe because i was already not Good but what they said just really was very hurtful#it felt like such a low blow and so unnecessary ..#i talked things over with my sister#yeah i was being a little mean but i was just cranky and venting in my own personal space#there really was no reason for that person to say the things they did..#i genuinely wasn’t trying to hurt anyone’s feeling or anything i was just really cranky#and i do feel like i should be able to be a little bit of a bitch sometimes in my own personal space !#i feel kind of embarrassed cause im worried i pissed off some of my mutuals i actually like#not that bitch tho. they vague posted abt me before when i was having a breakdown and called me crazy and a red flag#maybe i am the problem maybe they’re projecting i don’t know#but i just want everyone to know im never actually trying to be mean and if i ever do upset someone pls just talk to me about it#like an adult ;-;#snow.txt
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ARCANE EPISODE 7!!!!
MY GOD I WASNT READY FOR ANY OF THIS!!! WHAT WAS THAT!!!
Also ekko wallpaper I got with my fries lmao
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/4fcbf9191c4cf957c746b233bb88eba9/c9b19591353e7757-63/s540x810/f2a16fbd2921dfdd5a324aca644a7a9e55cd9868.jpg)
#OH MY GOOOD!!!!!! POWDER AND EKKO!!! AND BENZOOOOOO#ITS LITERALLY WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN OMGG!!!!! POWDER LOOKS SO CUTE 😭😭😭😭 IM CRYING ALREADYYYY#VANDER WITH A BUN!! AND EVERYTHING IS SO FULL OF LIGHT!!! HER EYES!!! MYLO LOOKS SO RIDICULOUS AKDJSK THIS GIRLAAA#“where would you be without her” WELL BUDDY IF YOU KNEW HOW HE IS WITH HER!!! VI IS DEAD????? OR SHE WAS TAKEN FOR THE INCIDENT!!!#LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID JAYCE!!! MY GOD!!! THE GEMS KILLED VI SO THEY JUST COMPLETELY PROHIBITED THEM!!! JAYCE IS IN JAIL PROBABLY!!#the fact we are seeing exactly why jayce should be sorry about what he has done.... and we are seeing him suffer because of it... cinema 🚬#also mel fading into viktor.... also has he realised how she manipulated him in the beggining??? there is so much stuff...#jayce eating contaminated animals and his wound being infected with the arcane too..... is that what will push him....#omg.... ekko likes powder so much... he apologised by painting actual adult vi portraits where the fallen are in his universe 😭😭😭#“she looks so badass” if you knew... is he gonna ask her to help him make hextech.... that is so sick and twisted....#also jayce hurting his leg loke viktor and having to use a cane and brace.... damn and you know whats worse..... that ekko could be like#this with the jinx of his universe IF ISHA HADNT DIED!!! AND IT IS BEACUSE OF JAYCE!! AGAIN!!!!! THIS MAN!!!!!#the drawing with the anomaly and the two men and the inifite symbol... we get it... jayce and viktor forever intertwined by fate....#powder is sensing something is off.... omg time travel..... THE LIMIT IS FOUR SECONDS AFTER HEIMERDINGER EPXLODED ALDHAKSHSKSJSOJSOSLS#i dont want a time travel ending.... if its done for plot to an extent is okay but idk about solving it all.... it makes it feel worhtless#claggor looks so fine its not even funny..... i cant wait to see what everyone thinks. WHERE IS THE LITTLE LADY bc hes called little man 😭#and vander with arm tattoos.... why did they hipster fied him.... he looks younger somehow ajdhakj he went from taking care of 4 kids to 3!#SILCO!!!! AND HE DID TRY TO KILL HIM!! ALSJAKSKAK Ekko just laighing at it.... girl i would be pissed STROMAE??? OMG POWDER!!!!#I JUST REALIZED THE PINK IN HER HAIR IS FOR VI!! AND HER JACKET!! AND A DRESS LIKE HER MOTHER'S!! CRYING!!! FULL BODY CHILLS!!!#CAN WE JUST PRETEND LIKE ITS THE FIRST TIME!!! I GAVE UP ON YOU!!! WHAT HAPPENED BACK THEN I NEED TO KNOW!!! IM SOBBING!!! EKKO!!!!#NOOOOOOO THE ANOMALY NOOOOO!!!! HEIMERDINGER NOOOOO!!!! AND THATS JAYCE!!! IS THAT MAGE VIKTOR???? the monkeys......#the vi toy with the out love song machine.... my god i wasnt expecting any of this i need to breathe i am stil tearing up my god#what a fucking punch in the stomach christ i cant breathe right akdhsksso#the credits saying the deries has benefited from a spanish tax rebate in the canary islands??? you're welcome i guess lmao#animation production carried out there and has ben collaboration with the Spanish gov... alright another win for perro sanxe#talking tag#watching arcane#watching arcane season 2#watching this i dont think im ready for caitvi sex.... after reconciliation even like what will be of me.... now im scared#i am still scared bc idk what happened to jinx and vi and cait still... thats what worried me and boom!! ekko powder with the steel chair..
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!! DRUMINDOR SPOILERS IN TEXT AND TAGS !!
Listening to Drumnidor as a Hadrian girlie is not easy. My god they're assassinating his entire character and taking away his life purpose right in front of us! They're reducing him to a stupid comic relief character with no depth and no real influence on the people around him (to a greater degree than they ever did before) and they're taking away all his greatest achievements and attributing them to someone else to fit the plot! His main character status has been revoked and he's now apparently merely a supporting character in someone else's story. Please, everyone, a moment of silence for my blorbo 😔🙏 Rest in peace mr. Blackwater. At least they let you pull some impressive-arse sword moves, you looked really cool... but I am so sorry they did not let you be a practising hoe in this one 🥀
#riyria#drumindor spoilers#sorry everyone i am about five and a half hours into the audiobook and i just reached a conversation between hadrian and arcadius#and i want to fucking jump out a window#why is mjs doing hadrian like this???? what's even his fucking point in the story if it's gonna be like this????#literally and what is hadrian? chopped liver etc etc!!!!!#someone who is also reading the book please talk to me or help me see how i am misinterpreting this#i just want hadrian to be taken seriously and be valued and i want him to actually achieve something that is not just helping royce on his#journey to becoming a better person but yeah i guess he can't even have that - the one thing they kind of let him have in the other books#i am literally becoming a worse person as i listen lol#And listening to Drumindor as a Hadrian/Royce shipper is even harder!#lol#I'm sorry everyone#I can't even make any jokes about this point you'll just have to read the book yourself and find out.#i want to adopt hadrian out of that story my god i swear there is someone who cares about you and values you#crossing my fingers that the remaining 14 hours of this book is different 🤪🤡#(at least gwen is nice to hadrian and i love that we get to see them bond/see more of their friendship#it's so jarring though bc she actually treats him as an adult#and not as an idiot)#like am i losing my mind???#was it always like this????#was it different because there were other characters around to interact with???#i want to cry because i am so frustrated lol#as i reread my tags i must say it could also be that i am projecting my struggles onto him LOL#because my life is really bad rn in a suspiciously similar manner ...#either i'm a hadrian fan bc he's just like me fr or oh god i'm literally just misinterpreting everything and its not that deep#but i want him to also get the opportunity to be that deep :( ok enough tags now sorry everyone so sorry everyone#fellow hadrian fans what do we think#enter the hivemind (the replies to this post or my inbox/messages) and let me know#and royce fans what do you think about royce in this book?
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ramblings on Li Ming (and Heart) and homosexuality
moonlight chicken has so many things to offer in terms of technical beauty and interesting themes but what i cannot stop thinking about is the different ways they approach homosexuality in the story.
we have Wen who has a rainbow flag on his desk and pictures of him and Alan on the wall. Wen, who openly flirts with Jim and has no qualms talking openly about his one night stand. Wen, whose step father knows about his sexuality and is close enough with him to discuss his love life.
Kaipa we don’t know too much about. But his mom knows and is supportive and some of the vendors and the chicken family seem to know. But if anyone was questioning in what reality this show is set with all the class discussion and corona featuring, his part of the story shows that homophobia exists and he is worried about how he fits in with his own family, the expectations of his mother and possible the awareness that he makes the family he has “different”.
Jim is arguably even more visibly gay than Wen in terms of what we see throughout the show. He opened the shop with his ex, they prayed at the temple together and even though he objected due to proprities sake eventually they loudly declared their love to each other and the whole neighbourhood knows. Wen somehow feels like he is living in the remnants of a bubble: his circle of friends seems very queer, his closest friend and the whole gym seem to be all part of that as well. This only might change now with him questioning his work and breaking up with Alan: some gatherings he won’t attend anymore apparently.
And finally, we have Li Ming. At school he doesn’t seem to open up to his classmates on most things and additionally is in the closet. While there wasn’t anything alluding to homophobic rethoric being spread at school we can see how the heteronormativity gets to him and feel that there must be good reason as to why no one knows. And it could just be how Li Ming is judging the situation based on vibes, we don’t know. His mother is or at least was homophobic but at the same time he is raised by his gay uncle who is surrounded by other gay people. And I love how it feels like this might have given him enough security to be comfortable with his own sexuality but how it also isn’t enough to shield him from the world at large.
With so many great shows coming out of Thailand and most of them getting more and more political it just feels so real and 2023 to me that Li Ming is part of a generation that knows who they are but still have to battle with the shadow that homophobia has cast way before they were born.
#moonlight chicken#i had this in my draft for a week now thinking if i'd get the time i could put this more leloquently but that was a lie as it turns out#might edit some stuff later#but for now i just have to write about how fantastic this show is for giving these varied realities of queer life#which are all influenced by their environment but also in the way the characters connect across generations#we don't know if him had a gay mentor who could've guided him#whereas li ming technically has him and his neighbourhood friends to reference#but li ming - understandibly so - seems more closeted than anyone else (minus Heart possigly)#in middle school everyone around me proclaimed how supportive they were of lgbt+ rights#but as soon as one guy came out he become the TALK of the school for weeks#he got reduced to his sexuality#and when he dated a girls some months after he got called attention seeking for coming out as gay before#and most people thought they were doing an open-minded thing#and despite knowing that i know that i am not the only queer kid who decided to not come out lest we'd become that talk of the whole school#and our dating lives scrutinized#even though all of us were super comfortable with who we are#and for me that was mostly the case because i had adult lesbian role models close to my family#so i knew i was good and that nothing strange was going on#but still - this othering made the school environment hostile enough to keep me in the closet#so yes - i am extremely delighted with how they depict this dynamic with li ming
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