#just so I can claim extra benefits and have people be jealous of that and try to use me to their benefit

[crystalisopod]

hngnbgh yesterday was a day, my group was complaining that another group had a disability pass and got on the rides faster, and they were like "oh haha you should get one because you're soooo autistic (vaguely insulting??)" to which I replied, "I am though"

"wait really? do you have a pass then (hopeful)"

"no-"

"oh uhm... that's fine no worries (visibly disappointed that they couldn't use my autism to their benefit)"

[mothiepixie]

I’m really curious because a lot of the Sanses have a jealous/possessive streak to them, and Motti seems so free-spirited and kind to everyone… does that ever cause conflict in their everyday life? Whether it’s from her hanging out with or getting hit on by other attractive people or monsters or, I guess in terms of “the bad Sanses”, would they ever try to get back at one another at all for hogging extra time with her behind the scenes? And does Motti ever feel stifled or is she appreciative and see it as them looking out for her?

I guess in general what I’m trying to ask is: To what extent are each of the Sanses with that quality jealous/possessive over Motti and how might she react to their behavior based on whatever level they happen to be at?

A lot of it really depends on who openly displays jealousy versus who is seething on the inside. Many of the Sanses lean towards redirecting her attention back to them or even asserting themselves so the person who is flirting or getting too close to her will sense the tension and back off. 

Others will openly show aggression and rudely call out the person which will embarrass Motti. Motti doesn’t perceive people flirting with her quite a lot because she gives the benefit of the doubt that they’re just being friendly since that is the energy she gives. So it will come off unexpected and unwarranted if one of the Sanses reacts boorishly.  While Motti is generally really easy going she doesn’t stand for rudeness and will reprimand if need be. 

Boysen, Big Red, the Bad Time Trio, and Nightmare are perhaps THE worst of the bunch. They don’t hold back or care to be couth and it will cause a lot of arguments.

Boysen is 50/50 with either showing or keeping his jealousy to himself. He has a three strike system he follows and while he does feel secure in himself, he does not like sharing and doesn't like someone lesser than him to even dream of thinking they have a chance. His methods are more insulting the person's intelligence, or attributes before his mask slips and threatens them. Motti will wait until they're home to have a heated discussion. A lot of it will be Boysen pointing out things about their character and that they annoyed him which will make Motti so frustrated she can't explain other then huffing.

Big Red and Motti will butt heads and while she would like to have a proper discussion when they get back home, he does test her patience and sometimes her hot headedness wins. They will have it out right then and there.

The Bad Time Trio see Motti like a cute kitten when she is upset and reprimanding them. It really doesn’t phase them in the slightest (mostly Dust and Horror), Killer likes to act like a kick puppy and try to use cuteness for her to forgive him (he’ll just learn to be more discreet and take care of the person out of view). If jealousy is amongst the three, then it’s one upping the other, smacking the other when Motti isn't looking, or even full on brawls. 

Nightmare doesn’t care in the slightest how upset or long Motti goes on a tangent about how he should act. He has made his claim on Motti and he’ll be DAMNED if he lets some nobody even think they can breathe her air. 

Other Sanses that keep to themselves when they are jealous try not to let it affect the quality of her life. Many of them genuinely know that their jealousy is indicative of their own personal gripes about the fear of losing her. 

Sans, Farmer, and Passive will simmer on the inside then be the kind to redirect Motti back to them, or display affection more so they feel more secure with her. 

Blue cares for Motti so much that if she chose another he would not stand in that person’s way because he cares for Motti’s happiness over his own. He will be the shoulder for her to lean on, but he will always pine for her. 

Dream is a conflicted and complicated fellow. He spends so much of his time giving every piece of himself to others, but also keeping everyone at arm’s length. So when he finally allows himself to love Motti, there are times he doesn’t want her to get too close because he struggles to accept her love for him isn’t due to his powers. However, when someone else gives Motti attention he may feel malcontent and unwilling to share her attention. He won’t ever admit he feels a sense of possessiveness, and will try to ignore his own feelings to make her happy. Lots of forced smiles. He could only share or allow someone to flirt with her if he has complete trust in them not taking her fully away from him. -cough- maybe someone like Blue-cough-

[cosmicanger]

All “radical” folk & activists been throwing maskless events…

“I do see the disability advocates that stopped wearing masks. Many of us see them and talk about it. But we can't openly talk about it due to fear of retaliation.

They essentially left the rest of us to die and suffer while they get to pretend that covid is over.

The rest of us, immunocompromised disabled people have to keep masking. We can't pretend that covid is over or we'll die.

The disabled people that stopped masking. Get to benefit from opportunities and have fun. While claiming to care about the entire disability community.

We aren't jealous of them getting opportunities & getting to socialize. It's more so, that we feel left out because instead of advocating for more online options. They're going to in person events maskless. And are actively working against the rest of us participating in society.

It's one thing for an abled bodied person to not care about disabled people. It hurts extra when it's a fellow disabled person that's doing it. It's like they know better especially if they are an advocate. They should be wearing masks and encouraging online options and more.

Even within the disability community, there's a hierarchy. This isn't oppression Olympics. But there are those of us that are more vulnerable due to our specific health issues and situations. Whether cause less money, less support, etc.

It's important to recognize this.

So when disabled people who aren't as high risk against COVID maybe because they're not immunocompromised or have money or support. And they decide to go maskless and leave the rest of us behind. It's incredibly hurtful.

They know better.

I'm not advocating to attack them but they deserve to be spoken to and called out. Because their actions aren't just hurting those of us that are immunocompromised feelings. They're also encouraging more of us to drop wearing masks. Which can be deadly for some of us.

This comes from a place of love and concern. People especially those that call themselves disabled advocates shouldn't be leaving the most vulnerable disabled people to die. And pretending that the pandemic is over. It's harmful and it influences others to also do the same.

Making this thread in itself is risky. But I feel this needs to be said. This isn't a specific call out on anyone in particular. Just sharing the sentiment of many others as we see disability advocates not masking in pics and events. We just want people to do the right thing.

So please for the sake of everything good. Please wear a mask and take all covid precautions that you can. Not just for yourself but to encourage others to do it too.

Lives are at stake.”

“Most people do not care about disabled Black people and it shows.”

[miraculouscontent]

Didn’t Need Burrow (April 24th-May 3rd)

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Marinette is exposed to the world as Ladybug by the end of the series. This is largely so Adrien gets to bask in everyone knowing that HE ended up with Paris' protector on his arm, emphasizing her status as a trophy that he won.

This feels too likely, I hate it.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: After being badgered into trusting her with the Fox, Marinette tries to convince Alya that she can't expose herself as Rena Rouge any further, and should take advantage of the Fox's long-range capabilities to stay hidden. Alya dismisses the danger; if she tries hiding at all, it doesn't take long to reveal herself, claiming it's unheroic to hide. Shadowmoth then targets her personally, with Marinette taking the blame.

I WOULD EXCUSE THE FOX THING IF IT STAYED LONG RANGE BUT I’M WAITING FOR THEM TO RUIN IT

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Rather than outing Ladybug, Alya reveals *herself* as Rena Rouge. She claims that this is fine since Hawkmoth already knows her secret identity... and besides, it gives the LadyBlog more cred!

Because why not I guess, the bar for her is already so low.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Marinette will be forced to give up Guardianship/go through the memory wipe... but continue as Ladybug. This is mined for Sadrien AND resets LadyNoir; she no longer recalls all the annoying shit he's pulled, offering a fresh start. May lead into Reversed Rectangular Romance with Chat Noir pining after the old Ladybug while she develops a crush on her brooding partner. He's so ~dark~ and ~mysterious~ and gives her such ~wistful looks~!

Marinette gets to give up guardianship but at what cost. (also, that last line about Chat being dark and brooding)

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: In a Shocking Twist, Emilie is revealed to have been evil and manipulative like Chloe/Lila, and presented as solely responsible for her husband's jerkassery. This sets up GabNath as endgame with Gabriel absolved for all his misdeeds. (Any similarities between Emilie and her son's behavior are summarily ignored.)

Because Adrien is male, obviously. He gets a pass.

Anonymous said:

Didn't need the Burrow: A lot of Adrien's supposed childhood friendship with Chloe was actually with Zoe. Which is supposed to give the new character some instant connections and serves as another proof of Chloe being irredeemable. Bonus: Marinette finds out and whether or not she spills the beans, it will be something she'll get called out for.

So, either a retcon or Adrien comes off as even more of a liar in “Origins.”

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Su-Han will tell Marinette outright that her responsibilities mean she's not allowed to be happy. This is used to garner sympathy for HIM - Isn't it sad how his duties have completely consumed his life? Clearly he needs help learning how to unwind and relax! Meanwhile Mari's drowning in the background, but this isn't about HER, now is it?

I’M SO SAD

WHYYY

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Adrien discovers Gabriel's secret and hides the truth, forbidding Plagg from telling anyone. Not just to protect his father/family, but because he's not ready to stop being Chat Noir. No villains means no reason for heroes, and he doesn't even know his lady's secret identity yet--! Naturally, his reasoning is treated as totally understandable and sympathetic, even as he enables the conflict to continue indefinitely.

“CHAT BLANC” VERSION 2.0 I HATE IT DX

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Hawk/Shadowmoth starts aiming to *kill* the exposed/temp heroes in order to prevent them from potentially joining battles. This only happens during akuma fights (so that it falls upon Ladybug to 'set things right' with her powers). Chat Noir makes minimal (if any) effort to protect them, relying upon his 'partner' to carry the day instead and bring them back.

Ladybug: *trying to save everyone*

Chat Noir: *filing his claws in the background*

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Marinette will be pressured to make others permanent heroes and let them have their Miraculi full-time. This sets up for Hawkmoth to eventually get his hands on the Miracle Box, meaning any Miraculi that haven't been distributed are now in the villains' clutches. Not only does this dramatically cut down her pool of allies, Marinette gets to be guilt-stricken over failing all her duties and not listening to their demands while she had the chance.

Marinette, you’re such a fAilUrE as guardian!!

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Zoe will turn out to be another love interest for Adrien - only it's as the New-Bee with *Chat Noir*, enabling the dreaded Reversed Romo-Rhombus dynamic with Ladybug becoming jealous of their chemistry.

girls are such jealous types, haven’t you guys heard? :)

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Ladybug gets a new default look (for the sake of selling more ML merch in Real Life), trading the spotted onesie for another form-fitting spandex suit that 'highlights her feminine charms' even more. This is treated as a sign of her 'growing up'.

wow i hate it

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Alya shipping Marinette with both Adrien and Chat Noir after finding out her identity.

I am 100% not here for shipping shenanigans.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Alya will be responsible for leading Lila to suspect that Marinette and Ladybug are connected. Though Alya may actually *realize* that she slipped up, she won't warn Marinette about the potential security breach, not wanting her to get upset/any more paranoid than she already is.

And of course, this will be used to make people “sympathize” with her. See, she cAreS about Marinette’s feelings, how can you be mad at her for this??

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: There will be more plots where Marinette's 'lesson of the week' is that she must learn how to better control and suppress her emotions, and that she is literally not ALLOWED to be upset because Hawk/Shadowmoth will win if she does. At the same time, Adrien is encouraged to marinate in his own unhappiness over Ladybug not giving in to his advances. If the danger involved ever comes up, it's presented as purely Ladybug/Marinette's fault for rejecting him.

I’m starting to think some of you are ZAG insiders because wow that sounds likely. DX

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: A recurring theme in episodes featuring the 'girl squad' will be Marinette meddling too much, as her efforts to help them cross boundaries THEY aren't comfortable with. If she dares to bring up their past insistence that friends don't keep secrets, they'll call her out as a hypocrite while refusing to acknowledge their own hypocrisies.

“Marinette’s boundaries? Who??? No, Marinette, what about THEIR boundaries???” - the writers

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Adrien will feel sorry for Chloe and regret the role he played in her losing her Miraculous. This is mainly a vehicle to help explain why everything that went wrong with her/Queen Bee is totally, 100% Marinette/Ladybug's fault, along with showing how forgiving Adrien is and how he 'sees the best in everyone', and is clearly right to do so. Bonus: this is combined with him distrusting the NewBee for not being Chloe/making her jealous.

*sigh*

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Chloe will get akumatized out of anger over the New Bee, and Ladybug is blamed for her insensitivity/forced to apologize to her.

I’m still stunned at the mental gymnastics they go through to make Marinette/Ladybug apologize to people.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Su-Han will confirm the popular fan claim that Ladybug and Black Cat bearers are, in fact, soulmates/bound together by destiny. Chat Noir gleefully rubs this in Ladybug's face; her disbelief and horror is played entirely for laughs at her expense. Adrien's behavior escalates further afterwards, bolstered by the knowledge that it doesn't matter how shitty he gets, as she belongs to him regardless.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: In addition to confirming the notion that Ladybugs and Black Cats are 'meant to be', it's revealed that other Miracli are destined soulmates, like Foxes and Turtles or Butterflies and Peacocks, and other random Miraculi pairings that 'coincidentally' align with various official ships.

brb, need to step away to scream on my porch

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: At least one episode will have Marinette mess up a potion, preventing her and the other heroes from enjoying its benefits during a big fight. This is blamed either on her anxiety causing her to overthink it or on her being a poor student, lamenting the fact that she didn't have more time with Master Fu. (Bonus if Su-Han takes advantage of this to slam Fu; extra bonus points if Mari defends him by insisting *she* was the one who screwed up, not her master.)

It’s like a main course of Marinette blame, oh my god.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Su-Han will make various sexist comments about Marinette and the other heroines, implying that they were all poor choices Because Girl. Since nothing says 'Girl Power' like insisting they must prove themselves to doubtful men who will never fully accept them. After all, Marinette is the only one who ever learns lessons; therefore, Su-Han will never grow out of his 'old-fashioned views'.

And when the writers are called out, they’ll go, “bUt hE’s jUst oLd fAshiOned”

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Adrien gets his Ring revoked by Su-Han for misbehavior. This is depicted as a terrible miscarriage of justice, and Marinette must convince Su-Han to return the Ring without learning who Chat Noir is. The more terrible the inciting act, the bigger the bonus points; did he skip another battle like Glaciator? Pull another Syren-level stunt? Cataclysm another innocent? Who cares? Sadrien is Sad, and that's the biggest crisis of all...

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Adrien pulls another Syren-level stunt (or worse); rather than holding him responsible, Su-Han berates Marinette for her poor leadership and failure to keep him in line. Bonus if she confides/vents to Alya afterwards only for Alya to AGREE with Su-Han that she's failed at being a good partner to Chat Noir. Fever Mode activates if Alya implies Marinette's failure is due to her inability to admit her feelings for Chat Noir and/or confess to Adrien.

I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Alya will pull an Adrien re: Lila, refusing to openly support Marinette against her. She'll claim that they need to 'gather evidence' first before exposing her to everyone. In practice, this means that Alya is willing to continue feigning ignorance, pretending that she's taken in by Lila's lies, while Marinette continues to suffer since she won't play along. Any evidence-gathering we see Alya engaging in is minimal, if she's shown doing it at all.

This is 150% one of the most accurate Alya-Lila confrontations I’ve seen from these predictions.

I hate it.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: When confronting Lila, Alya will insist that 'Ladybug told me herself' that they aren't friends. Lila attempts to convince her that Ladybug is lying to try and protect her; this either works or spurs Alya to declare that LB 'hates liars', making her suspicious of Marinette's potential connections to the superheroine.

Alya

Alya why

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Alya will only treat Marinette with anything approaching a veneer of respect while she's Ladybug. (As in 'Transformed/wearing the spotted suit/actively superheroing'.) Her behavior towards her 'regular BFF', meanwhile, will continue to degrade.

and, as a alternative:

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Having learned that Marinette = Ladybug, Alya shows less and less respect towards the superheroine. (Not that she displayed much in the first place, but you know what they say: familiarity breeds contempt. And Alya's convinced that she knows her SO WELL, despite all signs to the contrary...)

Thanks. Hate them both. T_T

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Alya will end up outing Ladybug in a moment of anger. Though this is treated as impulsive and spur-of-the-moment, the act itself hints otherwise. (For example, she posts it on the LadyBlog; that post had to be *written up* first, and she likely had to think about what evidence she'd use to back up her claim... Not to mention if she includes pictures or video. Showing that Alya thought about it well before her 'tipping point', no matter how she claims otherwise.)

okay but you missed the part where Marinette is blamed for it--

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Tikki's comments about kwamis not understanding love are foreshadowing that they will later claim that Ladybug and Chat Noir's relationship has shown them what true love is. Because none of the other relationships they've ever seen or experienced in their long, looooooong history compare to the Four-Cornered F**kery.

Tikki sure knew a lot about love when she commented on all of Marinette’s love issues.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Kagami will come to regret 'impulsively' breaking up with Adrien for being a lying jerkface, while Luka moves on and finds happiness with somebody else with relative ease. Because guys are allowed to move on with their lives while girls have to wallow in the miserable mires of wish-you-were-(still)-mine. Woes--!

no but see Adrien is “worthy” of love while Marinette isn’t

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Marinette is either responsible for the secret Juleka's keeping (such as trusting her with a Miraculous) or inadvertently sets Rose on its scent in the first place, making her *supposedly* responsible for the strife which follows.

We already know that it’s not Juleka’s secret at least but Marinette could absolutely still set Rose off.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Marinette will be taught techniques/given a power-up that shuts off her emotions completely, or simply reaches the point where she figures out how to do so on her own. This is ultimately shown to be a bad thing/another mistake not because of the toll it takes on her psyche, but because the fully repressed Marinette/Ladybug no longer has any interest whatsoever in Adrien, and *we can't have THAT!*

Us getting to see Marinette not crushing on Adrien... but at what cost?

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Alya posts more embarrassing content on the LadyBlog, making it look like Ladybug keeps screwing up/making mistakes. Marinette asks her to stop, worried that she's undermining people's faith in her; Alya blows off her concerns and accuses her of getting a swelled head/becoming a 'control freak' about her image, insisting it's no big deal if people see she's human while refusing to treat her as such. (Meanwhile none of Chat Noir's mistakes/misbehavior make it onto the blog.)

“Bonus” if Alya gets particularly huffy because it’s jOunrAliSm and she’d be bIAsEd if she took down something that made her fRiEnD uNComOFTablE.

elflynns-horde-of-stuff said:

Don't need a burrow: The upcoming episode "Guiltrip" is gonna be 50% Sadrien. And we won't even get any new developments on his character for it.

so the usual

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: It's revealed that Ladybug holders are 'natural good luck charms' for everybody around them, but are punished by karmic backlash for even the *slightest* hint of selfishness (or self-consideration). Hence Marinette's whole plight, which is still presented as her fault for not being able to reach an impossibly perfect ideal. (Anything we learn about Black Cat holders, meanwhile, is purely for Agrestangst and has no bearing on anything observable within the show itself.)

Honestly, with the bad luck Marinette had in “Origins,” you’d think she’d be meant for the cat and been taught about the values of destruction and just being able to Go Off on people, or how to spin her bad luck into something good (or the black cat miraculous in general helps her channel her bad luck, such as making her Cataclysm stronger or being able to give her bad luck to others).

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: The show ends with Marinette and Adrien getting together, with Marinette declaring that everything she went through was worth it and that she's 'incredibly lucky' -- that the fact fate brought them together is 'nothing short of Miraculous!'

The sheer level at which I just cringed in immeasurable.

Anonymous said:

Didn't need the Burrow: A S5 episode will drop before S4 is finished.

Oh! Ahaha, we’ve got a wavelength, anon! I actually already added that one at some point.

Anonymous said:

Didn't need the Burrow: The series will not really make Rose/Juleka canon. They will imply it but the official language used in the episode will be "best friends". Yet on Twitter the creators will pat themselves on the back repeatedly for it

I mean, this already partially happened in “Reflekdoll” so--

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: It'll be confirmed beyond any reasonable doubt that Adrien 100% knows about Marinette's crush when he uses it to manipulate her. Plagg comments on it, and Adrien affirms that he knows, but her feelings don't compare to his own for Ladybug. ('And aren't worth sparing' goes unsaid, but is naturally implied.) Naturally, his manipulation of her is treated as 'clever', and any pain or mortification she feels as a result is just gravy.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Adrien reveals to Plagg (and the audience) that he's fully aware of Marinette's crush, but refuses to acknowledge it because he doesn't want to 'crush her dreams', comparing it to how Ladybug keeps rejecting him. Making the situation entirely about HIM and how HE feels, even showing some resentment towards her for HAVING that crush for HIM to deal with. Marinette and her feelings are painted as just an ANNOYANCE that he's ignoring, heedless of the impact upon her.

wow i hate them both

thank you, both of you

</3

[mintvender]

I really like the jealous Y/N! How about this time the boys are jealous? :]

Alrighty! Little anon, I apologized for not posting this sooner. Something came up this week and prevented me from finishing this. 🌿💚🌿

Harem!AU

BTS’s Reaction To Getting Jealous

A/n: Also special announcement of this blog hitting 50 followers! Thank you everyone that have been supporting me and my work on the journey through the Harem Au! It was such a surprise to me when we managed to grow so fast in such a limited amount of time. I have quite a few ideas for upcoming AUs but we are still quite new so develop is meant to happened. Anyways, hope you guys enjoyed this 🌿 🌿 🌿 .

Masterlist

Kim Taehyung

When Taehyung got picked to be the Royal Consort, he thought that he would finally be able to spend the most time with you like before you guys have met Namjoon. Oh how he was so wrong. At least with Namjoon, he would have a reason to stay with you for a few hours for the monthly checkup but for him, he had to wait for you to take the initiative! As the consort, his contact to the outside world can only be reserve for private moments, and he can’t just randomly visit you whenever he wants to nor go on a date whenever he wants to. To make it worse, the others have been teasing him about getting neglected by you. Taehyung knows this might not be true but seeing how many people had come to hate him because of his status, he’s secretly afraid that you would come to hate him.

This especially worsens when more people entered your private circle. With Seokjin and Jimin being overly flirtatious with you, Taehyung almost had no chance to even have a night with you to himself. But being with you for so long, he of course knew you the best and know how much affections you have towards him. Using that information, he would purposely cling to you whenever he had the chance like a puppy marking its territory. With his witty mind, he knew just when to pull away before crossing the line. Sometimes, Taehyung would jokingly sulk within your arms about how you don’t spend enough time with him, but it will all be well as long as you promise him the opposite and smother him in affection.

“ Y/NNNN, I was feeling so lonely without you. Others even started to tease me, too...HMPH. Compensate me by spending more time with me! We can do anything, sleep, talk about politics, even go on missions.”

Kim Namjoon

As the head of the physcian department, there are several meetings every season that he must be present as a representative of the royal physicians. Namjoon have been extremely lucky to not have his usual time with you be corrupted with these meetings, but that soon came to an end as the upcoming meeting was rescheduled to days before the initial date. Unfortunately, that day was the day where he had your monthly checkup. Even though Namjoon could easily just rearrange the time, he finds that the change would be too bothersome and would mess up his neat schedule. As a result, the day of the your monthly checkup, Namjoon will be attending the meeting while the vice-head will be doing his work. The meeting unsurprisingly smooth and he found himself back in the castle just in time. What did not go as plan was when he heard you suggesting permanently changing the person in charge of your health to someone else.

As calm as he can be at times, Namjoon was bewildered by the nonchalant comment. Expectedly, his next action was to ask you why and try to untie the knots, despite already fearing the worse. Personally, Namjoon found comfort in the time you guys spend time with each other, an he has a feeling that you resonate to that as well. When you explained that with how busy he is with his other work, maybe being your personal physician won’t be that efficient in the long run. Not wanting to lose your guys’ time to another, Namjoon immediately refused your claims, stating that he was more than happy to put the extra effort for you. With what he said in mind, Y/N nodded, accepting his claims.

“ I’m afraid I would have to correct you on this. I do not find it frustrating nor annoying or any of sort when being made responsible for your health. In fact, I find it very much rewarding getting to spend more time with you.”

Jung Hoseok

As a minister’s son, it was shocking news to you with how familiar Hoseok seems in the streets. The boy was literally bouncing from one end to the other, seemingly knowing everyone in one of your guys’ dates. Truthfully, you’ve never seen someone so happy just being outside, especially someone that was born from the riches. You just assumed that nobles would frown in distasteful or worse whenever they are forced onto the dirty grounds of the streets, accustomed to having carpets payed everywhere they go. But how the miniature had proved you wrong. Amidst the moment, Hoseok could be mistaken as just a normal civilian if it wasn’t for his stunning face. Any lady that past by would have to stop and stare at his bright smile.

Hoseok, knowing that he won’t get lecture when out in the streets, decided to be his self for once and began socializing with them. You on the other hand, just stood by him casually, watching him enjoying himself, deciding to take him out whenever you have to go outside as well. everything was going smoothly until a person came up to the group, casually creating a conversation between him and you. Deciding to be polite, Hoseok greeted him but was ignored by the guy. Seeing how impolite he is, Hoseok tried to be as polite as possible but his patience was slowly running thin when he started to flirt with you. The last straw was when he jokingly said bringing you home to do the deed; Hoseok stood up, knocking his chair over with a loud ‘thud’, silently muttered greetings to the ones who were present, before pulling you towards the entrance. On the way, Hoseok couldn’t help but hold your hand tight while his eyes continue to agitated, predicting any other offender before they can even do anything. Seeing how serious he was, Y/N tried to comfort him, hugging him to prevent confusing any other people walking pass by. Looks like your little sunshine is not as bright when he is in a bad mood.

“ He was literally flirting with you the whole time! We will never go outside again... No, we will go outside but... Why didn’t you use your sword when he was being touchy with you?”

Min Yoongi

Yoongi is envied by many because of how much time he gets to spend time with you but the man himself just thinks that he is repaying you by taking away part of your worries. Regardless of the reason, he had got quite used to being alone with you most of the time whenever you’re in office. There will be times where people will come into your study but the time you guys’ spend alone with each other easily outweigh that. Besides, those poeple knew better than to flirt with you in front of your consort who is the highest rank in the harem. Even if he’s a fallen prince and has no power, Yoongi could still easily handle the minor officers on his own. Yoongi may be more vulnerable and desperate around you but he is still a prince that was train to become the future king. He, however, will only resort to that method when absolutely necessary, afraid of tainting your image of him, despite you knowing how skillful he is in this domain. Most of the times, he is very thankful that he is the resilient but sometimes, he must say that he somewhat regrets of deciding not to end those people in these situations.

Anyways, Yoongi, your little consort as well as little kitten, was behaving more like a feline as Jimin continues to flirt with you. The handsome brunette was onc again capturing your attention with his flirtatious remarks. Normally, Jimin would have a specific time slot that he would save to go visit you which was during the night. Today, however, Jimin decided to come and visit you during the evening, intervening with Yoongi’s perfectly peaceful time with you. It only got worse with Jimin obvious teasing smirks whenever he looks Yoongi’s way, as if silently challenging him to a fight. Now, similar to a panther, Yoongi stepped towards Jimin, and pick the said boy up and ‘kicked’ him out of the room, claiming that Y/N still have many things to do. Turning around, Yoongi could only smirk but immediately blushed when he met your amused gaze. Opening your arms, you offered him a hug, Yoongi could only obey and continued to flush when in your arms.

“ His actions prevented you from finishing your work so I-I wanted to...”

Jeon Jungkook

Despite hearing some pretty outrageous remarks in his life, his time with you is by for the strangest. With you seeming so experienced in your role, Jungkook had to somehow match your pace in his as well. As a result, Jungkook find himself especially hard working whenever he is alone with you. Not saying that he isn’t hard working at other times, Jungkook just puts out more effort when he is alone with you. Others who only see you in public, assumes that Jungkook sucks at his job and tried to degrade him from his position, knowing how much benefits would approach them when becoming your personal guard. Jungkook, of course, knew about their intentions but ultimately decided to ignore them as he deemed it not worth his attention.

The thought remained in one of the small crevices in his head, seemingly forgotten until one of the minister mentioned of a possible candidate for the second personal guard at your side. Like a sharp knife penetrated his heart, Jungkook felt dissapointed when you did not do anything but a “needing more time to think about it” comment. On your way back to your office, you asked Jungkook a question that suprised him. But of course, he honestly answered your question and before he knew it, he witness your direct rejection of the minister’s offer.

“ Truthfully, I do not think it is necessary to have another by your side. He would just only hinder you. I doubt that he would even be able to protect you when anything unexpected comes up. I-I also have a feeling that the minister is planning something, and I don’t trust him.”

Kim Seokjin

Seokjin knows that the moment he decides to chase you, there will definately be many candidates that would block the way. Despite this, he found himself enjoying most of their company yet a part of him still remain conscious of what’s happening behind the curtains with each of them. He knew that there might be a chance of you having an intimate relationship with one or even more of them with you being a ruler an all. But Seokjin could not accept how his heart would tighten every time an affection is aimed towards you. If it was in the past, he would have proudly intervene and claimed his status as your fiancé but now that you guys ar adults, doing that will cause more harm than good.

As a result, whenever Jin sees you be intimate with just anyone, the merchant made sure to lecture you on your guys’ next meeting. Complaining how you’re too open and that anyone could presume the wrong idea about your intentions. He would then show you all the ‘safer’ positions, purposely doing it in front of the servants for the to go gossip about your intimate relationship. Seokjin made sure to make some of them extra touchy to rile up the entire harem.

“ You are a nation’s ruler but why are you so naive! They may be your consorts but what would others think when you gets touchy with each other? No! You have to do this, raise you hand higher, straighten your back...”

Park Jimin

Jimin, your lusty and flirty consort is bound to get jealous when he sees his person get smothered from someone else. Contrary to what people would envision his jealousy would be, it would depends on how ‘severe’ it is — as Jimin likes to say. With how he is trained, his vulnerable self-esteem would be blown away if he witness some things that caught him off his guard. Especially, with Taehyung, who he can somewhat resonate with, it will be a journey for him to not withdraw and go talk to you.

Anyways, it was one of those nights where you and Taehyung were cuddling in bed when Jimin came in, excited for your guys’ night together. However, his smile turned upside down when he saw the pile you both had accumulated on the bed. Knowing that it was his time to exit, Taehyung left the room and the two of you were left in an awkward tension. Jimin, who was crossing his arm, eyes not daring to meet with yours, lips jutted out forming a pout, remaining in his original spot. Y/N, despite how tired they are, dragged Jimin to their bed and let him sulk for however long. Let’s say that it was less than what he would admit, before he snuggled into Y/N’s warmth and went to sleep also.

“ HMPH!”

Copyright © 2021 MintVender

All rights reserved.

[veronicamarsconfessions]

Is Rob Thomas Jealous of Taylor Sheridan’s Success?

Remember when Taylor Sheridan was nominated for an Oscar for ‘Hell Or High Water’? Although Rob Thomas did congratulate him for his nomination, some people detected some sarcastic undertone within his tweet. Don’t know whether they are friends in real life or not, but many suspected that RT was a bit envious that TS was nominated for Best Writing.

Before he was famous as a great screenwriter who also wrote the acclaimed ‘Sicario’ franchise, he appeared as a recurring character Danny Boyd in VMars. You may remember Danny Boyd; one of the cousins of the Fitzpatrick and specifically Liam’s right-hand man. He also played the great Sheriff/Deputy Chief Hale from Sons of Anarchy. After many stints as recurring characters in many shows, he started to write a screenplay. Sicario is a film about Cartel hitmen and Narcos. Very well written and made, and it made him a household name.

This is why fans took notice when Rob started to inserted many Narcos-style storylines about a cartel hitman in Neptune (season 4 VMars). The plot was weak and seemed out of place from the whole VMars vibe. Rob wanted to put every ingredient that made Cartel drama, Noir, Comedy, and Romance into this one miniseries, he forgot about the characters and what made it good in the first place. He wanted to be taken as a “serious” writer so much, he forgot that he was using an existing show with a different vibe and insisted that the show was matured. He wanted the show to be Breaking Bad, Better Call Saul, Sons of Anarchy, Sicario... but he ended up using all the tropes into this blender and the result is a mess. It’s like making ice cream but then he decided to add some onions just to spice things up.

Rob is well known to ‘borrow’ many plots and storylines from his favorite movies into his shows. He claims that it’s more of a homage. But when every episode of his shows is some kind of homage of something, it bears a question of whether he could write an original story or not.

Taylor Sheridan’s Sicario was less about the hitmen plot but more about the characters. Many shows like Breaking Bad, Better Call Saul, and many more are about the characters and how much they are written brilliantly. Fans love the shows not just because of the plots (although they are good), but because of the characters. Fans care about them and want to see more of them. The plots are there to accompany them, not the other way around.

Rob thinks to get taken seriously is to have all those plots into one giant bowl. He forgot about the characters; therefore he forgot what made the show brilliant. He forgot (or ignore) why the show was great; it was all about the characters. And the fact that he is also jealous (based on his tweets back then) about his fellow creators, kinda cemented the idea that he is stuck in an old school writing that he is accustomed to and not liking the idea that other writers from his generation are more successful and more acclaimed than him.

What he said about Taylor Sheridan made people frown. He said, “Hey remember this guy who played this loser Danny Boyd?” (Paraphrasing, of course) and then he posted an unflattering picture of the character. “I made him!” I think many fans pointed out on Twitter that he was only joking, but could feel the jealousy seeping through the tweet.

When Jessica Chastain was nominated for an Oscar, he also tweeted, “I am assuming Jessica Chastain will thank me profusely in her acceptance speech tonight. Veronica Mars made her career!” Fans of Chastain (who didn’t know who he was and thought that he was the singer of Matchbox 20) immediately roasted him on Twitter, calling him out, and got angry because this man claiming that her success was because of him. He immediately said that he was only joking and that he was proud of her, that an Oscar nominee used to be on his show.

But this has become a pattern, that when someone he knew suddenly become successful, he would joke that they should thank him. Fans were surprised that he never said anything about Tessa Thompson’s success and soaring career when he was on Twitter, but glad that he didn’t. The only actors that always praising Tessa Thompson are Percy Daggs III, Erica Gimpel, Francis Capra, Jason Dohring, and Kyle Gallner. Fans never heard Rob Thomas said anything about her, but maybe that was a good thing. Tessa Thompson mentioned that she had a bad experience on the set of VMars because of the way they treated her character and the fact that they straightened her curly hair so it wouldn't look “ghetto”, and the fact that Rob wrote her character as a punching bag.

Back to Taylor Sheridan, the man is now known as a successful writer-director who directed “Wind River”, a movie about the rape and murder of a Native American girl on tribal lands, and is meant to provoke conversation about the exploitation experienced by indigenous women. When the movie was bought by The Weinstein Company, Taylor Sheridan threatened to destroy the movie after Harvey Weinstein's scandals. “I said, if my movie’s going to die, I’ll be the one to kill it,” Sheridan said in an interview. “I will take my name off it, and publicly denounce it. I would have said, don’t go see this movie, don’t rent it, don’t watch it. If he was going to remain publicly attached if he was going to benefit from a film highlighting the atrocity he perpetrated? No.” He also demanded that the proceeds from the movie would be given to charity and women’s organizations.

He was ready to nuke his own movie before letting it live on with Weinstein branding. Some of us always pondered... Whether Rob would even do the same thing (denounce his movie, giving the film money to charity, etc)? Judging by his own scandalous iZombie tv show when Robert Knepper guest-starred in the show it seems he wouldn't nor care. He never publicly comment about Robert Knepper and his rape allegations. The only people who commented were the actors like Rahul Kohli, Malcolm Goodwin, Robert Buckley, and Rose McIver. Maybe the people (Rob and Diane) who write rape in every show as plot devices but not as raising awareness are not really feminists as they claimed to be.

Taylor Sheridan might not be the next great screenwriter; occasionally his works are problematic. He is this manly Marlboro man writer who writes about men even when he writes about feminist stuff. His female characters sometimes are white and pretty with the tendency of damsel in distress or white saviors. But at least he is trying to hone his skill to be a better writer. We will see more about his future in interest. In conclusion, Taylor Sheridan, the glorified extra from Veronica Mars probably deserves those recognitions. Rob Thomas can steam.

[silverwhiteraven]

Wings of Broken White - Ch.8

Tag List: @marichatmay

[ Posted on Ao3 ] [ Chapter 1 ] [ Chapter 7 ] [ Chapter 9 ]

Marinette and Chat Blanc continued to see each other sporadically after their midnight meeting full of emotional rollercoastering and winged secrets. He had told Ladybug about it a few days after, leaving out the part about Marinette’s revealing of having wings. It made her heart skip to know that he would keep a secret that wasn’t his to tell even if he didn’t have to. Ladybug thanked him for being honest with her and told him to be careful, but she was happy he got the chance to spread his wings around another friend.

Ladybug also offered to increase their patrols together if he ever wanted to practice flying with her. She even teasingly said something along the lines of them both needing the benefit of practicing with each other, just in case they ever had to have each other’s backs during a fight in the skies. He accepted, looking giddy to get even more opportunities to fly with another. She also found it unfairly adorable when he joked that he wouldn't get jealous if she wanted to fly around with one of her own civilian friends.

The two even thought about the possibility of some day both flying with their civilian friends together. Ladybug had to hide her giggle at the thought that she might have to break the news that Ladybug and Marinette could never fly together, if this proposed group flight practice were to ever take place.

But Ladybug did confess to Chat Blanc, that if she were to ever choose a civilian to fly with, it would be either Nino Lahiffe or Alya Césaire, because if there was anyone besides Marinette Dupain-Cheng that was trustable, it had to be the people Marinette herself trusted most. Chat hardly held back on his approval of the choices, and it made her laugh to see his bright antics.

After that, several more months passed by the duo, and the world. School was nearing the end of another year. Akuma’s were just as rare and random as ever. Best of all, Chloé had continued to be reprimanded by an ever vigilant Adrien. She was starting to almost mellow out as the fact slowly sunk in that someone she cared about and who cared about her, too, was actually willing to go against her, and even leave her, because she was in the wrong.

All of this led up to an end of school project for their class.

The students were to work together in equal shares to put on a play, telling either one of the fairy tale stories they had studied in class, or one they made up on their own. Nino had proposed that they make a short movie out of the project so that the fruit of their joint efforts could be shared outside of class. The teacher thought the idea was brilliant, and gave them extra time and afterschool privileges to help them set up.

Marinette had been a little tired the day the class was assigning the roles. Her mind only half paid attention, causing her replies to be badly timed and delayed. Because of it, an interesting selection of character parts were assigned.

“Now, I know we’ve been delaying assigning the lead roles,” Nini spoke from where he stood at the front of the room, acting as one of the movie’s directors, “ but I wanted to make sure everyone knew what the other options were before a bunch of people tried to jump at being the Knight of the Princess. So let’s start. Any volunteers or votes for the Knight’s Princess?”

There was various various calls of names and a few ‘me!’s, and most of it all went over Marinette’s head. The only part that really registered was ‘votes for the Knight’, so Marinette half-heartedly pipped in, “Adrien could do it.”

The room went quiet and all eyes turned to her like she had just declared herself to be an Akuma or something. She blinked, wondering what she said.

Nino was the one to break the silence with a crooked and amused smile. “Marinette, you want Adrien to be the Princess?”

She gaped like a fish, realizing she had heard his earlier question completely and utterly wrong. She waved her arms around and she stuttered, trying, and failing, to clear away her mistake. She froze when Adrien burst out laughing, clearly not offended or even upset.

“Why not?” Adrien chuckled as he calmed. “Not the first time I’ve been told I’m pretty enough to be royalty. It would be a nice break from the cool-guy look I’ve been doing at photoshoots lately, too.”

The room started to buzz again with noise. It seemed everyone was considering it, liking the idea of breaking away from assigning a girl to be the Princess.

Alya pipped up above the others mischievously. “So if Adrien get’s to be the Princess, who’s taking the role of Knight? Another of the boys, or one of the girls? At this point, anyone can take the spot since we’ve decided to ignore traditional gender roles. Any volunteers?”

There was more discussion filling the room at that declaration, and a few people glanced at Chloé. She had probably been gunning for the role of Princess, but now she seemed to be pouting. “If Adrien is taking the lead role, then I still want a good one. But I refuse to be a smelly Knight! I’d rather be the King.” She stated decidedly, and the class chuckled and murmured their acceptance of her decision. They were happy to have her not throwing a fuss. It was rather refreshing, actually, to see her still being dramatic but cooperative with the class.

Murmurs continued as the class discussed the role of Knight. Marinette stayed out of it, too embarrassed that she might mess up again. It wasn’t long before Adrien hummed to himself and turned to her.

“Marinette? Would you like to be the Knight to my Princess?” She squeaked at the sudden proposal, and the class hushed. Adrien turned to the others, a small but confident smile on his lips. “She’s helped all of us in Akuma attacks before, right? Marinette acts the part of a Knight saving dames and damsels in distress naturally. I think she could do this, if she wants to, that is,” he adds with a reassuring glance. There wasa round of agreements from the others, before all eyes turned to her, breaths held in anticipation of her answer.

Retreating into the neckline of her oversized shirt to hide a fluster, she nodded her acceptance. There were a few excited woops, and Kim even whistled.

After that, all the roles and assignments for the project were set.

Marinette and Adrien were to be Knight and Princess. Chloé and Juleka took to the King and Queen. Kim and Ivan claimed a joint role of the Dragon for themselves. Rose volunteered to be the Evil Sorceress. Mylène wanted the role as the Knight’s Fairy Guide. Alix was to make props and set backgrounds in the art room. Nathaniel and Alya were the script-writers for the story. Max and Nino were on camera duty with the help of Markov. Sabrina was put in charge of coordinating, scheduling, and final edits.

Lastly, everyone was given two tasks as a group: First, if they had nothing to, they were to help their fellow classmates who were still working. And second, everyone pitches in for the costumes if they can.

Everything went surprisingly smoothly for their project once everything was divided up. Adrien got Chloé to pitch in for the costumes with him, both allowing their immense closets to be raided. Alya and Nino were able to check out cameras from the yearbook and photography clubs. Props became a group-effort when most of the class rather enjoyed, and got carried away with, the art room’s free to use supplies. Some of the musically inclined were putting together a playlist for mood and background music. Kim helped the cast members practice their lines, even standing in for a partner if someone wasn’t there.

It was fun, Marinette had to admit. Up until the inevitable hitch caught up to them, though.

The days of filming their project were upon them. The school’s courtyard had been commandeered for the majority of their sets, empty due to it being a weekend. Large green rolls of poster paper had been used like wallpaper, hung from the second floor banisters to act as a greenscreen. The stairs got covered in painted cardboard so they would look like castle walls and towers from the side.

The entrance to the school was left clear, since the class had deemed it worthy to be its own set background twice over. The first was to act as the front gate to the King and Queen’s castle for the opening scene outside. The second would be from the inside, doors closed and covered with curtains to make it look like the inside of a Great Hall. To give the makeshift Great Hall its finishing touch, Chloé had ‘borrowed’ the fancy chair from her Father’s office to act as a throne.

All in all, things went great. The story and filming opened with the Knight, Marinette, decked out in painted cardboard and foam armor, returning from a mission in another country. He was summoned by the King and Queen immediately upon arrival, to be told that the Princess, Adrien, had been cursed and kidnapped by the Evil Sorceress. To their credit, Juleka and Chloé actually did an amazing job of acting and looking like emotionally distressed parents who just lost their daughter. And when they did a flashback scene in one of the classrooms, Rose proved to be one scary Evil Sorceress with Adrien a perfect damsel in distress. They did have to redo the scene several times, though, because the Queen, Juleka, was having trouble not looking like she wished she was being kidnapped by a very pretty girl instead.

The Fairy Guide, Mylène, was then called forth to help assist the Knight in tracking down the Evil Sorceress and navigate through the Magic Woods. This part took a mix of walking along the makeshift greenscreen wall multiple times and actually going out to a few of the parks around Paris. They had to admit to themselves, though, that they mostly just wanted to run around in-costume and have fun, as well as eat a picnic that Alya’s mother and Marinette’s father had both contributed to after hearing about the project.

It was the pre-rescue battle scene that caused the hiccup. The class artists had done a too-good job on the two-person costume of their Dragon. Kim sat upon Ivan’s shoulders, allowing the Dragon to have an impressive two and a half metre height from head to ground. Kim was also very set on being very animated and expressive with the Dragon, so the mouth, full of sharp paper mache fangs, opened and closed at his command while he threw glitter out like it was fire. Ivan controlled the legs, wings, and body, which all had moving parts for mobility. The legs were strapped to his own, so they walked and stepped when he did. The wings were controlled by Ivan’s Raven wings, allowing them to move realistically. Kim, acting as the neck, would twist around, and Ivan, needing to keep balance, would follow his movements, causing the whole dragon to lumber around and sway like it was alive.

The Fairy Guide, Mylène, couldn't bring herself to face the Dragon at all, let alone appear on set with it. What really took them off guard, however, was the Akuma that came along as the class was gathered around Mylène.

[thefanficmonster]

Hey Vy! 📚🌻 Here!

How is your week going? My roller skates just got here and I'm so happy omg! My protective gear haven't got here yet so I'm trying not to fall but a almost hit my face so many times- i have to stop for some time now because I need to clean my room :_: but here's your three words of this week: Paradise, curly, radio

A lot a lot looot of loveee,

📚🌻.

Hi darling 📚🌻 !

Please be extra careful until your protective gear arrives, I'd hate to hear you've injured yourself 🥺 Anyways, hope you have fun with your roller skates (always stay safe though)! 🥰

Here comes a short drabble with your three words! This one’s gonna be a little different though - no OCs and not for the Resident Evil fandom, but rather the How To Get Away With Murder fandom, more specifically - for my favorite relatioship/characters on the show! Hope you enjoy!

All my love, Vy 💌

Better

Laurel Castillo x Frank Delfino (How To Get Away With Murder - AU: Canon Divergence; AU where the characters tolerate each other XD)

Warnings: Slight spoilers (Nothing too major though), Swearing

Laurel runs a hand through Chris’ curly hair, admiring how peaceful he looks now that he’s finally asleep. He’s got a fever that’s been giving him crying fits for two days now. Having to deal with a sick two-year-old while simultaneously trying to keep up with work and her final studies has been exhausting to no end. She’s been receiving some help from Michaela who seems utterly desperate to keep herself busy at all times, even when she’s supposed to be relaxing just so her mind doesn’t spiral into the void of loneliness she’s fallen victim to as of recent. Connor and Ollie have babysat for her a few times as well, another gesture she’s incredibly grateful for. Asher has offered to look after the toddler too on numerous occasions but that’s one offer Laurel’s never taken up. She appreciates him offering her his help, but everyone would justify this action of hers considering how reckless Asher can be at times - aka 90% of the time.

The Keating 5 has come through for her when it comes to both looking after Chris and keeping up with her studies, proving their friendship to be  one of those rare ones. However, Keating 5 aside, she’s received the most amount of help from one particular person. Someone who’s prepared to turn up at her doorstep at three in the morning if she needs him.

Frank Delfino

The two had a rocky start, to say the least. Their on-again-off-again relationship as colleagues with benefits. Their constant back and fourth. Then came Frank’s disappearance and Laurel’s involvement with Wes, all occurrences blowing huge holes not only in their romantic relationship but also their friendship which has always been a second away from ceasing to exist, all things considered. Friendship is hard to maintain with such a strong, hypnotic and magnetic romantic connection. Some people just weren’t meant to be friends, ever. Frank and Laurel are among them.

Speaking of Frank, the man’s been rather concerned lately, the lack of calls and messages from Laurel worrying him more with each passing day. He overheard Michaela mention Chris’ fever in passing conversation with Asher when she was bailing on a date with the excuse of helping Laurel look after the sick toddler. He’d been surprised to hear that, initially thinking it was a cheap excuse of Michaela’s to avoid spending time with Asher considering things between them have grown sort of complicated. But when Connor confirmed this claim of hers, Frank couldn’t help but grow very concerned. He’s grown used to knowing what’s going on with Chris and Laurel before everyone else so having someone else be in the know while he was kept in the dark made him feel oddly jealous and hurt.

And he could only hold his worries and assumptions at bay so long...

Responding to the knock at the door, knowing who it probably is at this hour, Laurel contemplates whether opening the door would be the right thing to do. She’s double-checked that it is indeed him, that bringing her more uncertainty than comfort, oddly enough. She’s been doing her best to distance herself from him and his life for quite a while now. She’s been meaning to give him an opportunity at a normal life, away from her mess and chaos. She’s been wanting to give him an escape from the fiasco she always finds herself dragging him into.

But he still comes back to her, by his own choice.

“Laurel, it’s me.“ His coarse voice reaches her from the other side of the door.

“Yeah...“ She trails off, forcing her hand up to turn the lock, “...I know.“

Opening the door reveals the concern on his face a lot better than she saw through the peephole. It makes her heart swell up and all she wants to do is throw her arms around him in a tight embrace. But she can’t do that, she won’t. She’s not willing to give him any reason to hold onto her whatsoever. In her eyes, he deserves a lot better. And maybe he does, but he doesn’t want anything or anyone better.

“Hey...“ he mutters, unsure of how to start of the interaction. Things have never been easy between them and, looking back, it seems like they’ve only gotten harder. Somehow, their connection has only grown stronger though. A connection he wants to uphold and a connection she wants to sever.

“Hey...What are you doing here so late?“ Ok, that’s a sustainable question considering it’s 10PM, but then again he’s come to her apartment at odder hours. Only difference is, those other times, she called him over.

“Though I’d check on you. You’ve been rather dead with calls and texts recently. Also missed Chris, heard he had a fever so I got worried.“ She hears the undertone of accusation in his voice loud and clear. It makes her bite her lip with guilt she wishes she wasn’t feeling, especially when she’s supposed to be doing the right thing.

You can’t decide for him. If he wants to keep coming back, that’s on him.

That thought hasn’t crossed her mind yet. It almost feels like she’s letting herself off the hook, feeding into the temptation to embrace what her and Frank have.

“You hungry?“ Now that is a bit more out-of-place question, but it’s accompanied by her taking a step back to allow him inside, “I ordered Thai food I never got to finish.“

He follows the signal, growing a bit more hopeful now that she’s let him in the apartment, thinking maybe she isn’t avoiding him after all. “Loss of appetite?”

“Partly.“ She replies, hearing the click of Frank locking the front door before following her in the kitchen where the hanging lights are dimmed. “Chris was throwing a fuss all day, I couldn’t really do much but focus on him.“ She motions to the living room where the coffee table is littered with sheets of paper and highlighters, some of which have found a spot on the floor as well. “Not to mention the ton of crap I need to do for school and work.“

“Would’ve been a lot easier on you had you called me, you know?“ He comments, walking over to the fridge, taking out the two packs of Thai takeout, suggesting she had been expecting him. She wasn’t really, she was just quietly hoping he’d show up at her doorstep.

“Didn’t wanna bother you. It’s nothing serious, a simple cold, I can handle it.“ She replies, approaching the small vintage radio in the corner of the kitchen counter, turning it on to a quiet volume so some tunes could fill the silences that are bound to occur frequently with the amount of tension between them.

“You could never bother me, Laurel. I’ve told you countless times before...“ putting the food he’s now moved onto a large plate into the microwave and turning the machine on, he turns to look at her, “I love Chris like he’s my son. In my eyes, he is my son and I love him with all my heart. Just like I love you.“

Instead of allowing the deafening quiet to take over them again - the soft music from the radio aside - Laurel lets the loudness of her mind surface. She lets it seep through the barriers she built in order to protect herself and protect everyone around her from herself: “Do you never stop to think you deserve better, Frank? Better than some grown-ass woman with her life in shambles and a kid whose father’s dead. Do you not think you deserve someone who knows what they want and where they’re headed with their life? Someone who...” her confidence is slowly leaving her to fend for herself and so she does, the best she can. “Someone who can cook and do their projects and work and take care of her son simultaneously. Someone better, Frank! Do you never want someone better?”

She hadn’t realized her eyes had been darting all over the place, looking everywhere but at him. How that her gaze has once again landed on his face, she feels her stomach turn at what she sees. That concerned, hurt and disappointed frown only further fuels her guilt, making her wish she’d never opened the door in the first place.

“Laurel, where’s this all coming from? Did Bonnie say something to you cause if she did...“ she cuts him off.

“No, she didn’t. I’ve been thinking about it for a while now actually. All I am to you is trouble and a burden and...“ he gets back at her, cutting her off himself.

“And you’re none of those things, Laurel. Your view of yourself is interfering with your perception of this, of us, of what we have. You and Chris are my family. The family I choose. It’s not about deserve or idealism - it’s about what brings you joy and makes you feel complete. What and who makes you feel at home. Who is your home.“ Always cautious of her personal space, Frank takes a hesitant step towards her and another when she doesn’t back away. “Lord knows it’s no paradise, but what we have is special, Laurel, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything in this world.“

Against her best attempts at keeping her emotions at bay, Laurel feels her eyes brimming with tears as she gazes up at the man she’s never been in the clear with. She never realizes what he means to her until it’s too late. She only realized she loved him when he disappeared. She only realized he meant the world to her when he had already slipped from her grip. And she refuses to continue that pattern.

Instead, she’ll work on finding out what they are exactly and even if she doesn’t reach that epiphany, she’ll still embrace it, no matter the oddity and unfamiliarity of it all.

“Thank you.“ she manages to whisper past the knot in her throat.

“Don’t thank me, you should never thank me for the things I do for you or Chris. I choose to do them. I choose to be here. I choose you because I want you. You and no one else, Laurel.“

Just then, the microwave beeps, alerting the two that their close-to-midnight meal is warmed up. Taking the plate out and placing it on the counter to cool down a little, he turns to her with a small smile on his face, “Let’s see what’s so troubling about that project of yours, shall we?”

And just like that, the tension has lifted, allowing for a smile to appear on her face as well. That ease of the mind is not something she’s been very used to throughout her life, constantly having shit to worry about and people to deal with. That’s why she’s never wanted to be a burden on someone’s back. She’s never wanted to be a major part in someone’s life, at least not until she gets her shit together.

And although she might never get her shit together, she’s got someone she loves and someone who loves her by her side. Lord knows he hasn’t been on top of his own shit either. At least they’ll be figuring it all out together.

[dreamescapeswriting]

A Little Time ~ KNJ [Request]

➳➳➳Word Count: 4,1K

➳➳➳Pairing: Kim Namjoon x Western Artist!Reader

➳➳➳Genre: Angst with a fluffy ending

➳➳➳A/n: Hope this turned out the way you were expecting hun

Namjoon held your hand in his as you laid on the hotel bed together, your fingers were intertwined as he hummed a song to you softly holding you as close to him as he could get you, your hands fit perfectly together as if they were handcrafted for one another. Your eyes were staring up at your hands as he held them above your faces, swaying your wrists side to side as you just laid together in silence. It was the first time in months that you'd been able to get away from everyone in the industry and just be together. You were visiting Korea for an award show and you could finally see your boyfriend for the first time in months, it was hard dating him since you were a western artist and he was Korean one but you tried to make it work. The day you had met Namjoon was still fresh in your mind,

You were running late, you were always running late for everything but this was something you really shouldn't have been running late for. It was supposed to be one of the most important meetings of your entire career but your alarm didn't wake you up and then the traffic to your studio was awful. You sprinted up towards the board room where the meeting was being held, a giant table in the middle of a white room with 20 chairs surrounding it,

"Here she is!" Your manager yelled out in excitement as you fell into the meeting room out of breath and panting as you held onto the door handle for some kind of support. Your legs felt like they were about to give out since you took the stairs instead of waiting for the elevator, your eyes landed on Namjoon instantly and you felt panicked about being late and putting a bad image on the company. You'd known he was going to be there but it didn't stop the inner fangirl inside of you freaking out that he was there to work with you and you alone on a song that you'd been prepping for a while. 

"Sorry, my alarm- traffic, and the stairs- I can't breath." You wheezed sitting down on one of the desk chairs trying to catch your breath, you groaned to yourself for being such a mess in front of Namjoon but he was chuckling softly about it, finding it cute that you'd made such an effort to get here even though you were already late.

"It's fine, we were just going over some ideas for the song. Do you have anything in mind that you want to try?" He asked you sliding you a bottle of water, you took a sip from it and nodded. 

"I've been wanting to try rap..." You mentioned looking at your manager who was nodding along in the corner of the room taking notes on the conversation, 

"I think we could work with that," He smirked at you which made your cheeks heat up as you made direct eye contact with him.

From that point you went into deep planning, coming up with beats and lyrics together and he began to help you with your rapping. Giving you lessons after the long days at the studios were over he didn't mind putting in extra hours for you, those extra hours were extra hours with you and he didn't mind that at all. 

"You're getting better." He told you as you stood in your studio in front of a microphone, you still weren't as good as you wanted to be but you knew it would all come on with practice. 

"Thanks, I thought I was getting worse for a while." You laughed looking at the lyrics in front of you, you were confident in the song and so was he but it was just a little hard to get your head around rapping them instead of singing them. 

"No, you're doing great." It was only now that you realised how close he was to you, your faces were inches apart and you felt your heart rate picking up as he stared down into your eyes, he licked his lips and his eyes flicked down to your lips. He gulped and you felt the urge to grab him a kiss him, there was no doubting that you'd had a crush on him for years but would it be weird if you started making out? 

"Namjoon I-" You didn't finish your sentence because he kissed you, putting his hands on the small of your back to bring you closer. Instead of overthinking it you dropped the lyrics on the floor and wrapped your arms around his neck standing up on your tiptoes to make it easier for him, your lips moved together in sync and it was perfect. Your whole body was tingling as you made out in the studio, he licked your bottom lip and you parted them your hands rushing to his hair to tangle into it and tug a little, making him let out a soft moan into your mouth which made you giggle at him. He pulled away from you to check that this was okay with you and when he saw you smiling up at him he felt his stomach flip, both of your eyes were filled with passion for one another. He kissed you again this time it was rough and passionate as he pushed you back against the desk behind you. Your legs hit the edge and you jumped up to sit on it, spreading your legs so he could stand as close as possible, his hands slid to your cheeks as he cupped your face to deepen the kiss with you.  

"What are you thinking about?" He whispered as he noticed you staring up into space where your hands were hanging in the air, you hummed in the realisation of where you were and came back from your daydream looking at him and then at your hands smiling to yourself about how perfect it felt to be with him. Namjoon and you had been dating for three years since the song came out and every day with him was just as amazing as the last, the only thing you hated was hiding away from everyone. 

"Just us," You giggled softly trying to ignore the pit in your stomach, you had a gut feeling that something was going to go wrong and you knew what it was going to be over. 

"Are you going to be there tomorrow?" You asked, trying to bring the subject up as casually as possible for him but it was never going to be easy. 

"Yeah, we're performing." He told you watching as you sat up in the bed and looked around for something to change into. You'd gone to get Namjoon in jeans, an oversized hoodie and a mask to hide who you were. Neither of you could risk being seen by dispatch or other paparazzi because the relationship was a secret from every person except for the ones in the hotel room right now. 

"Okay, well- My manager she thought it would be better if I had a date for tomorrow." He sat up immediately and stared at you, you knew it wasn't going to go well now. The look on his face wasn't a good one, you'd only ever seen it before when he was mad at a reporter for claiming they were plagiarising the song that you made together.

"A date?" His voice was stern and he was clenching the jaw which normally made you weak at the knees, angry Namjoon was your favourite Namjoon but you knew this anger was directed at you and it only made you anxious. 

"I don't want to." You mumbled getting changed into his oversized FG hoodie and then into your jeans, you wanted to be fully clothed if there was going to be a fight about this.

"Did you even fight it?!" He yelled getting changed into a shirt and some jeans that he'd come out in, you nodded at him. Of course, you'd fought against it but what were you supposed to say. 

"What was I supposed to say Namjoon? I can't because my boyfriend will be mad? We're not supposed to tell people remember?" You were being as calm as possible about this, confrontation was never one of your strong points and you avoided it as much as you possibly could. But Namjoon was fuming about this, his blood was boiling at the mere thought of someone else having their hands around you tomorrow night, touching the person he loved the most. 

"So you're just going to act like a couple all night?!" You could tell he was getting madder by the second, the vein on his neck was starting to bulge and you could see him turning red in the face. 

"There are rules Namjoon, he isn't allowed to kiss me or anything like that." You tried to defend the boy who would be with you for the night but there was no defending him at this point, Namjoon was blind with jealously and anger. 

"It's not as if I can be with you all night, is it? I'm not allowed to touch you...Hold you! Fuck Namjoon I can't even kiss you in the street or tell people we're together." You had had enough of the same fight, it was always this way. The fight was always the same, he would get jealous over you spending time with someone else and then you would just live with it letting him sit in his jealous rage but you couldn't take it anymore. It was down to him that you'd been hiding for the last three years, hiding the relationship from everyone you loved. 

"I told you it's because of the company and I don't want you to get hurt." The same thing he would tell you every time, it was the same line recycled over and over again. 

"Don't get mad at me then because my company wants me to seem like I'm taken." You tried to make him see that this wasn't something to be shouting and falling out for but he didn't see it that way, he saw it as you trying force your relationship out into the open.

"What is it? You just want our relationship to be out so you can benefit from it?!" There was a spiteful tone to that that you'd never heard him use before with anyone nevermind with you, you felt your heart shatter and you physically took a step back away from him upon hearing the words leave his mouth. 

"Excuse me?" You whispered trying not to cry in front of him but it was too late the tears were already rushing up into your eyes and you were ready to start balling. 

"Get a little extra money from us dating, some extra paparazzi to expose your music." You scoffed at him for being so ridiculous you'd been together for three years if you were really that bothered about music sales or money you would have done something long before now.

"Is that what you think of me?" Your voice was full of hurt as he stayed silent and you knew you had your answer, 

"I'll drive you back to the dorms." You mumbled looking around your hotel room for your car keys, you'd rented a car as soon as you got to Korea because you knew Namjoon couldn't drive and no one would be trailing you too much.

"Y/n-" You shook your head at him not wanting to hear it from him right now and reached for the keys, nodding over at the door. 

"I'll wait in the parking garage." You whispered leaving the room and trying not to cry as you walked down the silent halls. It was 3 in the morning so the hotel was dead except for the night manager who was watching you as you passed by, 

"Going for a drive, clear my head." You said in Korean smiling at him before leaving and going to find the car. You wished that you and Namjoon could be a normal couple, being able to hold his hands as you wanted, you wanted to go Namjooning together and look up at the stars on a night time by the Han River. You wanted to scream out for everyone to hear you that you loved Kim Namjoon and that he loved you back.

"Fuck." Your voice cracked as you gripped onto the steering wheel pushing your head against it and crying as you waited for Namjoon to get to the car. Tears were streaming down your cheeks and your vision was blurring and you were shaking with how angry and upset you were. 

As soon as he was inside you silently started up the car and began the short drive back to the dorms for him, tears rolling down your face in silence, you didn't make a sound not even a sniffle as you tried to focus on anything but the deafening silence within the car. The sentence he'd said to you rushed through your mind over and over again playing like a song that was stuck in your head. If he really thought that's why you were with him then why did he stay with you?

The night was starting to begin and you were looking around for Namjoon from inside of the car you were waiting in, you hadn't even spoken when he got out of the car the night before, he just got out and left you alone, once you got back to the hotel room you cried into his shirt not wanting to go through with the award ceremony anymore. It didn't feel right without knowing if you and Namjoon were okay. 

"You okay?" You felt his hand slide around your waist and for a second your mind let you believe it was Namjoon coming to see you, forgetting for a second that you were sitting inside of a car and not outside on the carpet, but your hands landed on the hand and followed the arm up to find Chris. The one your manager had set the evening up with, you cringed at his hand on your waist where Namjoon's should have been, his thumb was caressing the dip in your dress and you stared at you manager inside of the car but she stared at her phone avoiding your gaze. She knew something was wrong with you, she'd walked into your hotel room and found you crying but she said nothing. Choosing to get you ready for the night instead consoling you about it, you'd tried to get out of the date again but she was adamant that this was needed.

"Your turn." The door to the limo opened and you stepped out first, holding hands with one of the escorts on the carpet, you thanked him in Korean and walked along the carpet stopping to do small interviews with reporters. It was a good thing you were fluent in Korean or this would have been a terrible night for you, Mark stayed by your side with a giant smile across his face and you kept glancing around for any sign of Namjoon. 

Namjoon spotted you first he stared from across the carpet as the one you were with place his hands around your waist and drew you closer to him, making you fake a laugh loudly to get attention from reporters.

"Joonie? You alright?" Jungkook asked grabbing the attention from the other members who all turned to see what Namjoon was staring at, the youngest saw you first and he smiled. 

"Isn't that Y/n? You collaborated a couple of years ago right?" Namjoon nodded as he watched them all drool over you as if you weren't together, but they didn't know. No one knew and he knew that was his fault. He was just scared of everyone knowing about you and the relationship losing what was special about it, it was a secret that only you and he knew about. Jimin nudged Jin in the side remembering the lyrics they'd seen on Namjoon's studio desk before this whole thing started, 

Jimin walked into the studio looking for Namjoon so they could go and get food before the event but instead, he found scattered bits of paper laying around the table. Jin came into the room after Jimin to see what was taking so long and then he saw the state of the room. It hadn't been in such a mess for years, he was clearly working through some emotions he was feeling, Jimin picked up the piece closest to the keyboard and read through the words,

Nobody knows I'm in love with someone's baby, I don't want to live love this way and I don't wanna hide us away. I wanna tell the world about the love we're sharing. Till that day we'll hide behind closed doors, and sneak moments behind closed curtains." Both of them stared at the paper and then heard Namjoon coming back so they put it down trying to act as though they had only just walked into the room. 

"You don't think?" Jimin asked looking at Namjoon, his fists were clenched by his sides as you giggled again moving closer to the boys. You looked up from the floor to meet Namjoon's gaze and the rest of the world seemed to slow down around you as you locked eyes, you were the only ones that existed right now and it didn't matter that Chris had his arms around you because all you were picturing was Namjoon. 

"Hi Y/n." Taehyung greeted oblivious to what was happening and your gaze was pulled away from Namjoon, 

"Hi, Tae." He hugged you and then the rest of the members joined in, leaving Namjoon till last. You'd met them all before when you first came to Korea, you were doing a small stage to premier the song you'd written with Namjoon and they were they. 

"Hi." Namjoon greeted trying not to come across too eager or not eager enough, you hugged him as you had the others not wanting it to come across weird if anyone was watching.

"I love you." He whispered in your ear when he knew no one could hear you, you pulled away and nodded at him letting him know you loved him as well. You felt relieved as you walked away from them, knowing everything was still okay with Namjoon put your mind at ease and you didn't feel like you had to worry throughout the night about what was happening between you both. 

"As a surprise award, we have a collaboration award." Nominees were read from a card by the presenter on stage and you clapped your hands together as you heard the names being mentioned until it got to your name and Namjoon's. You had no idea you were up for an award except for the one you had already won earlier that night and neither did Namjoon by the look on his face. Your night was only supposed to be about one award and that was the Best New Producer award which you'd won when you collaborated with a new kpop band.

"The winners are Y/n Y/L/N and Kim Namjoon!" The venue was erupting with cheers and you got up from the table and began walking in the direction of the stage, meeting Namjoon by the stairs and he held his hand out to help you walk up them.

"I didn't know we were up for anything." You said through the smile as they played the song loudly throughout the stadium, 

"Neither did I." He said back through a smile, chuckling as the man held you a small trophy and you smiled up at Namjoon wanting him to do a speech. He was always the better one at talking to crowds, 

"I can safely say that myself and Y/n had no idea we were up for an award but we're so thankful to everyone who helped it possible." He chuckled looking at you and urged for you to go next, 

"I didn't prepare anything so I'll just say thank you!" You were both escorted backstage to hand the trophy back to someone who would give you the real one to take back to your tables, you and Namjoon were alone for the first time all night. 

"I don't want to live like this anymore," He whispered to you as you both stayed still looking at the desk in front of you. You didn't know how long you had until the woman came back so neither of you wanted to test it by kissing if someone saw you it was game over.

"I don't want to either Namjoon, but it's how your life works. I'm sorry I was dramatic last night," He shook his head his hand brushing against yours debating taking hold of it but stopping himself when he saw the woman coming back in the distance. 

"You weren't dramatic, I was out of line." You hummed and took the trophy sending the lady a quick thank you before leaving. You turned you back on Namjoon and began walking away but he wasn't through with the conversation, he followed behind you quickly and pulled you into a nearby room. 

"A utility closet? Really?" You asked trying not to laugh at how cliche it was that he pulled you into one of the tightest rooms he could manage,

"I didn't think it through." He chuckled looking down at you, he pushed the hair from your face and his hand rested against your cheek his thumb gliding across your skin as he looking down at you lovingly. 

"You don't get to look at me like that." You whispered wanting to cry as soon as you stared up again him but he frowned cocking his head to the side. 

"Like what?" He teased still staring at you with the same look in your eyes that made your legs shake and your world spin, 

"Like you're in love with me." He bent down so he could be next to your ear, 

"I am in love with you." He whispered kissing your cheek and then pulling away, he was trying to be cute but it only made you want to cry out more. You wanted to be mad at him for what had happened the night before but the truth was you could never stay mad at one another and it was always going to boil down to the fact that you loved each other and nothing else mattered except that. 

"I'm sorry," You whispered to him kissing his lips softly and then staring up into his eyes, 

"Give me six more months, six months of convincing everyone that this is good for our image and we can be out in the open. We just need a little time," His fingers held onto yours and you felt a spark ignite starting at your fingertips and spreading throughout your entire body.

"I don't mind hiding Namjoon, I just-"

"I mind, I don't want to hide our love anymore." You felt your heart race as he said that, normally it was you and you alone fighting for sharing your relationship, this was a whole new side to Namjoon. 

"We'll start with the boys, you'll come back to the dorms later and we'll tell them then." He growled and you smirked knowing that he was jealous that his friends had all hugged you and watched you all night, 

"Is someone a little jealous?" You teased biting down on your bottom lip and playing with the tie he was wearing, 

"It's pretty right? It'll look better around your wrists later, I'm still mad at you and that-"

"Chris." You told him the name making him growl once again only making you more excited for the night to come to an end so you could be alone together, he grabbed your ass and pulled your body so close you were basically sitting on top of him inside of the tiny room. 

"Don't let him touch you anymore tonight, you're mine." He whispered in your ear, biting down on the lobe and pulling away knowing that people would be looking for you both if you didn't go back now.

"I'll see you tonight baby, I love you." He whispered giving you another kiss on the lips, you wished you could have stayed there longer but you knew the sooner you got on with the evening the sooner it would be home time. 

"I love you too." You whispered, kissing him on the lips and leaving the utility closet first and walking in the opposite direction of which you had come.

tagline:

@yoongisdumplingcheeks @snowy-meowl @lynnthevirgo @jooniesdarlingdimples @kpopfanfictionhoes @lyoongx @mitzwinchester​ @btsiguess-kpop​ @fan-ati--c​ @callingmyangel​  

[greyhavensking]

100 Followers Celebration!

God, I’m late with this, but I finally passed the 100 follower milestone and I wanted to do something for it to show my appreciation. That something turned out to be almost 3000 words of emotional hurt/comfort and dumb boys in love, so I hope someone enjoys it.

I can’t even express how grateful I am to have (over!!!) 100 people think I’m worthy of following when mostly I just reblog other people’s posts and scream in the tags, but this is me trying to get the point across. Thank you, thank you, thank you to the people who continue to tolerate my bullshit and occasionally encourage my sad stucky edits and my angsty fluff fanfics. You’re all amazing and wonderful people!

Also cross-posted on Ao3 here.

you left your mark on me like footprints in the snow

“Buck, you awake?”

It’s sort of a moot point, seeing as Bucky — light sleeper that he is — would have woken up the second Steve stepped across the threshold of the living room, but he feels compelled to ask nonetheless. His ma was a stickler for courtesy, especially when it didn’t cost anyone a dime, and while he can’t quite manage to defer to politeness when it comes to aggravating superiors, it comes easy as breathing with most everyone else.

Bucky isn’t everyone else, and half the time Steve doesn’t bother filtering himself around him, but tonight—

Tonight’s a bad night.

But it’s not Bucky’s night for a change.

As Steve pauses at the back of the couch, arms crossed and head ducked, he sees Bucky smoothly push himself up into a sitting position from where he was stretched across the cushions, rolling his shoulders back as he scrubs his flesh and blood hand over his face. He was awake, judging by the dog-eared book he lets slide to the floor; Steve can’t make out the cover from this angle, but he’d bet anything it’s one of those YA novels Sam recommended to him that he refuses to thank Sam for. Something about Greek gods and terribly unlucky teenagers. Steve doesn’t go for fantasy often, but he knows Bucky’s been plowing through the series for the last few weeks.

“I’m always awake,” Bucky says once he’s gotten a good look at Steve, despite Steve’s best efforts to tuck all the visible hurt away behind an admittedly shaky smile. He’s joking, mostly — when Bucky first came home, he rarely got more than an hour or two of sleep before some imagined threat had him prowling the confines of the apartment, checking and rechecking the locks and the security system. Nowadays his sleepless nights are still disturbingly frequent, but not every night, and he can usually pass them by reading or watching whatever he finds most interesting on TV. 

Bucky quirks a brow when Steve remains silent, tilting his head. Assessing. “You, though,” he continues as if he hadn’t paused at all, “you should be dead to the world, Rogers. Sawing logs, or whatever it is they say when you snore louder than a damn foghorn.”

“I don’t — I don’t snore,” Steve bites out, reflexive, which just gets Bucky’s other brow jumping up to join the first.

“So it’s one of those nights, huh.” Bucky nods to himself, twisting around on the couch to lean back against the armrest, legs spread invitingly. He pats the space between his thighs. “Good thing I’m a certified Steve Rogers expert and know exactly what you need.”

Steve considers refuting that claim, but he can’t bring himself to bother with it. A flare of indignation does pulse under his skin (he hates the idea that he needs to be managed), though it peters out just as quickly as it came, taking with it the last shred of warmth Steve’s been clinging to since he slipped out from beneath his bed covers. Bucky’s right, anyway; this is what Steve needs, something they’ve pieced together in the months after Bucky felt safe enough to put himself back into Steve’s orbit.

Rubbing briskly at his upper arms, more for something to do with his hands than any hope of warming himself up, Steve hesitates another moment before he sighs and climbs over the back of the couch to crawl in between Bucky’s legs. Bucky wraps his arms around Steve’s waist instantly, tugging him until his back is flush with Bucky’s chest. He noses at the nape of Steve’s neck, presses a kiss there that has a delightful shiver rippling down Steve’s spine, then wedges his chin into the space between neck and shoulder.

“What’s the threat level with this one?” Bucky asks quietly. Threat level is their established short-hand for how bad a nightmare was, what kind of toll it took on them. It’s easier getting that out than something like I woke up crying reaching for you can’t get my heart to calm down can’t breathe woke up alone and had to bite back a scream, and Steve can admit that Bucky’s nothing short of a goddamn genius for giving Steve a way to explain without explaining. 

“‘Bout a seven,” Steve says, which means it’s closer to a nine than he’d like. He can still feel the phantom chill of wind and snow on his face, the ice-clogged water in his lungs, arms outstretched but grasping at nothing nothing nothing. Bucky’s face, frozen over and glassy-eyed. No air, no breath, no life in either of them — but Steve, undead, trapped below the ice, forced to watch it all play out on repeat—

“Uh-huh. Seven. Sure, I’ll go with that for now.” Bucky’s voice is right against his ear, his breath warm, the solid weight of him so very real that Steve shudders again, leaning into him even though there’s hardly space left between them to close. “You need me to do anything extra special?”

Steve shakes his head, then pauses, reconsiders. “Keep talking?” 

His nightmares are — strange. They’re quiet, mostly, unless they involve the train, and then it’s the clack-clack-clack of the tracks, the high-pitched whistling of the wind, his own desperate screams. But when it’s the ice… it’s almost silent. Like an old film, the reels spinning on soundlessly around him. Colors are muted, too, shades of gray and blue and the occasional vibrant streak of red that could be blood, could be his suit, could be the afterimage of staring too long into a bright light. 

Bucky huffs a laugh and tightens his arms around Steve, and in return Steve shifts to lay his hands over Bucky’s skin, one sliding along his forearm, the other reaching down to slip under the hem of Bucky’s shorts. He’d grab the metal arm (it doesn’t bother him, and it’s body temperature from being tucked under Bucky on the couch) but he needs skin right now, and he knows Bucky doesn’t begrudge him it.

“Talking,” Bucky murmurs. “You gotta pick the one thing I’m no good at anymore, don’t ya. No, no, don’t start,” he says, reading the tensing of Steve’s body all too well, and Steve slumps back into his hold, caught out. “I’m not sayin’ I won’t do it, and I’m not gettin’ all self-deprecating on you, either. Words are hard, sweetheart, you know that.”

“Sorry, Buck. We can just put the TV on, or—”

“I said it’s fine, Rogers. Relax. I’m not in the habit of doing things I don’t want to these days, even for you, which is a goddamn miracle considering all the shit I put up with for your benefit when we were kids. Christ.”

Steve rolls his eyes, which he knows is the exact reaction Bucky was going for. “Alright, I’ll bite. What’d I talk you into that was so bad?”

“God, Steve, Snow White? How many times d’we see that in theaters?”

“What? You loved that movie!”

“No, you loved that movie, despite being fuckin’ colorblind. I went because I’m a goddamn sap and I couldn’t get enough of the wide-eyed baby deer act you pulled every time you got to see all that animation in action. You sparkled, Steve, it was addicting.”

“What?”

“Whaddya mean, what? Can’t a guy get all sentimental over how cute his best guy looked staring adoringly at a cartoon?”

“No, I mean— you went for me? We weren’t even…”

“First of all, jackass, I don’t gotta be in love with someone to wanna see them happy. Second, I honestly can’t tell you if I realized that I was in love with you back then. It’s all mixed up with how I definitely felt during the war, and then with everything that came with thawing out here.”

Hold on— 

“Bucky. Bucky. The war?”

Steve’s half-twisted around in Bucky’s arms now, staring at him, slack-jawed, because they’ve never had this conversation before. Nothing even close to this has ever come up between them. When they got together this century, they only acknowledged that they’d never considered doing so back in the thirties, that their feelings only really surfaced now because they finally had a moment to rest without the fear of discovery hanging over their heads. Bucky has never breathed a word of loving Steve at any point before that.

But Bucky doesn’t seem to understand what’s running through Steve’s head, because his brows furrow as he stares right back at Steve. “Why are you acting so surprised? You think I curled up with you every night just ‘cause I was cold?” He pauses. “I mean, alright, yes, I was freezing and you were a goddamn furnace all of a sudden, but—”

“You have never said shit about this, Barnes, what the fuck?”

And there’s Bucky rising to the challenge in Steve’s voice, lifting his chin and narrowing his eyes. Refusing to let go of Steve, though, for which he’s grateful; he needs the grounding weight of him all the more in this moment.

“I ain’t exactly proud of it, Steve. You and Carter? Fuck, you made my blood boil with her.”

Steve blinks. Blinks again, shakes his head like that’ll make Bucky’s words fall into a neat little line he can actually understand. He feels Bucky’s chest expand as he breathes in deep, feels it deflate as he lets it out in a heavy sigh. His eyes are nearly silver in this light, and so sheepish that Steve just wants to set this aside and kiss on him until he’s smiling again. But — he wants to know, fuck, he doesn’t like secrets between them anymore, and he knows Bucky’s the same way. It’s not the best time to get into this, but really, in the grand scheme of things… it’s as good a time as they’ll get.

“God, alright. I was jealous, okay? Whether or not I knew what you were to me while we were still in Brooklyn, I sure as hell knew it then when I was watching you two dance around each other for months. The way you’d stare after her, the way she tucked herself right into your side whenever you were in the same room… I was sick with it, hatin’ her and hatin’ myself for feeling that way when I didn’t have a fuckin’ claim to you. When you were happy with her and I couldn’t make myself be happy for you. You think I like admitting I couldn’t put my best friend’s happiness above my own bruised ego?”

“Buck…”

“Aw, don’t look like that, sweetheart. Was my own fault for never saying anything. And, well, for all I knew back then you were straight as an arrow. You thought you were pretty straight, as I recall. Maybe it woulda just driven a wedge between us if I’d said something.”

“Fuck that.” The words are whispered, but they get Steve’s point across just fine — it’s Bucky’s turn to blink, leaning away from Steve slightly like he needs a better look at him to process what he’s just heard. Steve just follows him, getting his knees under him so he can cup Bucky’s face in both palms, holding him close. “Fuck that. I always loved you, Bucky Barnes. Platonic, romantic, doesn’t fucking matter. If you think for one second I woulda left you over something like that—”

Bucky laughs again, a quick, sharp little thing that barely interrupts Steve’s vehement protests, but the kiss Bucky plants on his lips does the job of getting his attention.

“What a stubborn asshole you are, sweetheart.”

Scowling, Steve kisses Bucky again, harder this time but still achingly sweet. “You think I’m lyin’?”

“Do I look like an idiot? No, I don’t think you’re lying, but that’s what you’re saying now, with the glorious gift of hindsight. You can’t say for sure that’s how you would have reacted, and I wouldn’t have blamed you for it.”

“One more time, Barnes, ‘cause I do think you’re a little slow on the uptake tonight. Fuck that. You got my ass through every fuckin’ illness that so much as looked at our borough, got me through ma’s death… you think you catchin’ feelings was gonna scare me away? I was afraid of you leaving, god, I woulda clung to you forever if you let me, even if you got married, had kids, whatever. I probably wouldn’t have believed you could like me, but I wouldn’t have been mad at you over it.”

It’s quiet between them once Steve’s gotten it all out of his system, save for his heart thudding in his chest and their quickened breathing, the tick-tick-tick of the ceiling fan above them. Steve refuses to look away from Bucky’s searching gaze, and god, yes, he’s a stubborn asshole, but he’s also right! He’s right and he’s going to prove that to Bucky, one way or another, because this is too important to let go. He doesn’t want Bucky thinking even for a second that there is a scenario where Steve would throw him over for someone else. Anyone Steve loved — anyone who loved Steve — would have had to accept that Bucky came first, always.

In hindsight, Steve maybe should’ve figured out his own damn feelings long before he reached the 21st century, but that wasn’t exactly his point right now. 

Steve doesn’t know how long they sit there like that, holding one another without saying a word, but he doesn’t tear his eyes away from Bucky’s for a single moment of it, willing him to understand that he’s always been Steve’s anchor, his touchstone — that absolutely nothing short of death could ever come between them, and fuck, even that didn’t stick. And he thinks Bucky might be getting there, the way a slow, tremulous smile spreads across his face, a flush high on his cheeks that does things to Steve’s heart. 

“I love you.”

Steve’s eyes crinkle as he smiles, automatic, ducking his head down to press into Bucky’s neck, the fabric of his worn t-shirt soft against Steve’s cheek. It’s far from the first time either of them have said it, but Steve still gets so giddy over it, knowing he gets to have this, have Bucky, to hold and kiss and adore this man in his arms for as long as they’re both alive… it’s heady, and something Steve doesn’t want to take for granted, not even for a second. The road they took to get here was too brutal for Steve not to be damn grateful for every moment they have together. 

Which means he doesn’t mind the teasing they get from the rest of the team, the not-so-sly remarks and gratuitous eye rolls that Sam and Natasha are so fond of, the downright lewd shit that gets thrown right back in Tony’s face when Bucky reminds them all that neither of them are innocent grandpas. 

It’s all part of getting to love Bucky the way he deserves, the way he’s always and will always deserve, and if there’s one thing about the future that Steve unequivocally loves, it’s that he can be as open as he wants about just how much he loves Bucky. And, if people do have a problem with it, Steve can kick their asses — mostly over Twitter, but still. He’s a fan.

“Love you too, Buck.”

Bucky hums, content, and readjusts so that Steve is mostly laying flat on top of him, the both of them stretched out across the couch. He snags the blanket from where it’s half-spilled onto the floor, draping it over Steve enough that it covers the majority of their bodies. Steve snuggles in, wrapping his arms around Bucky’s back, giving him a gentle squeeze to show his appreciation. 

He’s all but forgotten the phantom cold that drove him out here in the first place.

“Wanna try going back to sleep?” Bucky murmurs, rubbing circles into Steve’s back.

“Nah. You’re still gonna be here, don’t wanna sleep alone.”

“Mm, fair point. You just gonna lay here, then?”

He could, Bucky won’t protest his weight or the company. “Yeah. Right where I wanna be. You could read to me, though?”

“I’m in the middle of the book, Rogers, you won’t have any clue what’s going on.”

“Just like the sound of your voice, Buck. It’s soothing,” Steve argues, and he’s slurring his words a little, he knows, but he doesn’t care and Bucky doesn’t call him out on it. “Read to me?”

He feels the rumble of Bucky’s laughter in his own chest, pressed right up against him, then the shift of the couch as Bucky grabs his book from the floor and braces it against the dip in Steve’s spine so he can read.

And yeah, Bucky’s right — Steve couldn’t tell you a thing about what’s happening in the book right now (there are gods and monsters and quippy teenagers, but none of it settles quite right in his brain, none of it takes any recognizable shape) but he couldn’t be happier regardless.

Turns out it’s not so bad of a night after all. 

[yogaadvise]

A Beginner`s Guide To The Chakras

The word 'chakra' originates from the Sanskrit language. In English, we mean it a little differently. In Sanskrit, words is 'cakra.' The word actually indicates 'wheel' or 'circle.' Words 'chakra' also has Indo-European roots as well as relates to the Greek word 'kuklos' which implies, 'cycle.' Really early Hindu texts point out the word in connection to karma and later in the Upanishads words is utilized to define spiritual vortexes in the body. This is just how the word is made use of in yoga and also subtle power body techniques today.

Root Chakra — Muladhara

The root chakra, which is normally represented by the color red, is the initial chakra on the body and also it lies at the base of the spinal column. The root chakra is called the center for survival. Here, all of your fundamental requirements are thought about. This chakra is typically considered as regulating your primal instincts.

The Sanskrit word for the root chakra is 'muladhara.' Sanskrit is a tonal language, so really saying the Sanskrit word for the chakras will supply energy recovery benefits. In English, the word 'muladhara' translates to 'root assistance.' This assists to reinforce the concept that the root chakra is the point where all subtle power in the body begins.

Yoga Presents To Turn On the Origin Chakra

Depending on what is taking place in your physical or emotional life, discrepancies of the origin chakra can turn up in various methods. The chakra can be both as well open or also closed. In this write-up from The Chopra Center, writer Michelle Fondin specifies that discrepancies in the root chakra commonly reveal up as 'anxiety, worry, or headaches.' She additionally states physical issues with the bladder, bowels, and also lower back.

Some yoga postures that balance and open the origin chakra are:

1. Pavanamuktasana, knee to upper body pose 2. Virabhadrasna 1, Warrior I Pose 3. Janu Sirsansana, head to knee pose 4. Padmasana, lotus flexion 5. Malasana, squatting pose 6. Savasana, Corpse Pose

Sacral Chakra — Svadishthana

This chakra is the 2nd power facility on the body and it is stood for by a lush beautiful orange shade. The sacral chakra is the creative thinking center of the body, and not remarkably represents your magnificent power of production, including your powers for sexuality and childbirth. The pelvic chakra is called 'svadishthana' in Sanskrit, and in English this indicates 'one's very own base.' You will usually see this chakra stood for as a 6-petaled lotus, with each petal representing a various setting of consciousness. This chakra is extremely psychological and also highly connected to the unconscious mind. Due to its connection to sexuality, literally this chakra controls the reproductive organs.

Yoga Postures To Trigger the Pelvic Chakra

According to this write-up from MindValley, this chakra regulates sensations of satisfaction, interest, and also intimacy. When this chakra remains in equilibrium, life feels happy as well as imaginative. Individuals with a blocked sacral chakra may experience affection concerns, be over sex-related, or really feel great deals of regret, embarassment, and emotional pain. In the write-up, the author mentions some really sage suggestions regarding stabilizing this chakra. 'Among the most favorable things about stabilizing sacral chakra is that all it actually calls for is for you to do even more of what makes you satisfied. It's doing all the basic things, dancing and also sing like no person's enjoying or do easy exercises consistently like yoga or just go for a run.'

If yoga exercise is something you enjoy (and it most likely is!) attempt these poses to bring balance to the sacral chakra:

1. Supta Bhaddha Konasana, Reclining Butterfly Pose 2. Dhanurasana, Bow Pose 3. Kapotasana, Pigeon Pose 4. Mandukasana, Frog Pose 5. Ananda Balasana, Happy Baby

Naval Chakra — Manipura

When the majority of people consider the marine chakra, they think of having a level tummy or 6-pack abs. While physical conditioning is helpful, the naval chakra is so a lot more than that! In Sanskrit, words for the naval chakra is 'manipura.' In English, this converts to 'gem city.' Isn't that gorgeous? This chakra lies in the tummy area a little listed below the solar plexus. The shade of this chakra is yellow, so if you are trying to mobilize up your personal power, consider putting on the shade yellow or collaborating with yellow crystals. The manipura chakra controls your digestions and metabolic rate, but it additionally links to your feeling of self.

Yoga Poses To Trigger the Naval Chakra

In a terrific short article about stabilizing the marine chakra, Yoga exercise Journal author Stephanie Snyder specifies that imbalance in this chakra can show up in different means depending upon the individual. She mentions,' In some it materializes as aggressive, extremely rigid, or managing habits, in others it breeds a target mindset, neediness, as well as absence of direction or self-confidence to stand up and also take positive action.'

In order to balance this chakra, take into consideration these yoga presents:

1. Cat Cow Pose 2. Phalakasana, Plank 3. Navasana, Boat Pose 4. Virabhadrasana III, Warrior III Pose 5. Balasana, Child's Pose 6. Trikonasana, Triangle Pose

Heart Chakra — Anahata

The heart chakra is represented by a gleaming green shade. When in equilibrium, this chakra helps us to feel all of the love and also beauty within other individuals, our environments, and also ourselves. In Sanskrit the word for this chakra is 'anahata.' In English, this word translates to 'unstruck,' which states so much regarding the human ability to like. Besides including the heart, this chakra also covers the thymus gland, which creates hormonal agents and controls the immune system. This chakra is considered to be really unique because it is a bridge chakra, this implies it connects your lower chakras, which regulate your earthly requirements, and needs with the top chakras that house your spiritual aspirations.

Yoga Positions To Trigger the Heart Chakra

Of training course, this chakra lies in the facility of the breast. If this chakra is out of equilibrium, you might feel protective, shut off to others, jealous, codependent, or separated. Holding animosities and also hesitating to forgive others is likewise a big indication that the heart chakra runs out balance.

To open as well as align this chakra, think about heart-opening postures like:

1. Urdhva Dhanurasana, Full Wheel Pose 2. Ustrasana, Camel Pose 3. Bhujangasana, Cobra Pose 4. Restorative sustained backbends 5. Garudasana, Eagle Pose 6. Matsyasana, Fish Pose

Throat Chakra — Vishuddhi

The throat chakra is energy facility of the body that assists you speak your reality and pay attention compassionately to others. This chakra controls the throat, ears, neck, mouth, tounge, and also thyroid gland. In Sanskrit, the throat chakra is called 'vishuddhi.' In English, this translates to 'especially pure,' which is exceptionally intriguing when you believe about how you might utilize your words. This chakra is generally stood for by the color blue, as well as when it is in equilibrium you will certainly locate it easy to claim what you mean and communicate with others in a healthy and balanced method. When this chakra is out of equilibrium, you could discover yourself being extremely peaceful in social circumstances or speaking unconsciously. Everyone has had the experience of stating something you really did not imply, but bringing this chakra into equilibrium can assist you be extra mindful.

Yoga Positions To Turn On the Throat Chakra

In a post by The Chopra Center, author Michelle Fondin estimates skilled Dr. David Simon. He states three old principals one need to take into consideration before talking. He states them as:

1. Ask yourself, "Is what I am regarding to say real?" 2. If so, continue to the second portal and also ask, "Is what I am regarding to claim essential?" 3. If the solution is yes, go to the third entrance as well as ask on your own, "Is what I am about to claim kind?"

In mix with this workout, you can likewise bring the throat chakra right into balance utilizing yoga. Some poses to take into consideration are:

1. Sarvangasana, Shoulder Stand 2. Halasana, Plow 3. Matsyasana, Fish Pose 4. Simhasana, Lions Breath 5. Bhujangasana, Cobra Pose

Eyebrow Chakra — Ajna

If you have actually ever had a brush with a psychic or instinctive individual, you have actually seen the eyebrow chakra at the workplace! This chakra is commonly referred to as 'your mind's eye,' or your 'pineal eye.' This chakra aids you see right into internal and outer globes, and also connects you to the power of clear though and also spiritual representations. According to this write-up from Chakra Composition,' Through the present of seeing we can internalize the external globe and also with symbolic language we can externalize the inner globe.' That is the power of the 3rd eye. In Sankrit, this chakra is called 'ajna.' In English, this is equated to 'view,' 'command,' or 'beyond knowledge.'

Yoga Positions To Activate the Brow Chakra

When this chakra is in equilibrium, you might find it simple to connect to your inner knowledge, instinct, and creative imagination. This chakra is represented by the shade purple, so if you feel this chakra runs out balance, wearing as well as incorporating even more purple right into your life can be useful. When this chakra runs out balance, you could experience vision issues, eyestrain, and also headaches.

To balance and activate this chakra, consider these yoga exercise presents:

1. Ardha Pincha Mayurasana, Dolphin Pose 2. Janusirsasana, Head to Knee Pose 3. Virasana, Hero Pose 4. Arha Uttanasana, Standing Half Forward Bend 5. Adho Mukha Svanasana, Downward Encountering Dog

Crown Chakra — Sahasrara

The crown chakra rests right above the head. This chakra is a mixture of pure white and light purple, as well as it connects you to your higher self and God. This chakra is called 'sahasrara' in Sanskrit, which translates to 'thousand-petaled' in English. This chakra is generally represented as a thousand-petaled lotus. This chakra is the seventh chakra as well as is at the top of the chakras on the body. All subtle energy steps between the chakras 1-7, so while the root chakra connects us to Earth, the crown chakra connects us to the heavenly realms.

Yoga Presents To Trigger the Crown Chakra

When this chakra is healthy and balanced, open, as well as in balance, you will certainly really feel a deep gratefulness and respect permanently. This chakra represents the timelessness of the heart as well as raised consciousness. To activate this chakra, you can do several methods like yoga exercise, pranayama and reflection. Some yoga exercise presents to take into consideration are:

1. Salamba Sirhasana, Headstand 2. Savasana, Corpse Pose 3. Makarasana, Crocodile Pose 4. Supta Padangusthasana, Supine Hand-to-Big-Toe Pose 5. Parsvakonasana, Side Angle Pose

Yoga Positions To Straighten All 7 Chakras

Of course, each chakra isn't reduce off from each other. The power streams openly through each chakra, and inevitably you will profit most from every one of the chakras remaining in positioning. Sequences like the Sun Salutations A, B, and also C job effectively to activate every one of the chakras and also bring them all right into balance. You may additionally take into consideration activities like pranayama. Some pranayama exercises that balance all of the chakras are:

1. Nadi Shodhana, Alternative Nostril Breathing 2. Kapalabhati, Skull Shining Breath

These methods are best done after a yoga warm-up and also only if you really feel kicked back as well as comfortable. When practicing pranayama, make certain you are staying up straight with your hips raised over your knees, like on a reflection cushion or folded up blanket. This activity assists to keep the chakras abreast during the breath work. Likewise, be certain that you are not reverse breathing, the breath should move efficiently from all-time low of the lungs to the top upon inhale, as well as from the top of the lungs to the base during exhale.

[alectology-archive]

...he wiggled his eyebrows.

I want to unsee that.

________________

So Hollis basically struck a deal with some lord the basics of which are: if she manages to persuade the king to fix the roads in the country, the Lord (Lord Seema) would ensure that people improved their opinions about her. First off, Hollis managed to persuade the King to do it very easily. Too easily. And it feels like nearly the entire world is in love with Hollis just because of one lord. 

But the logic in this book eludes me. If people at court began disliking her because she threw fruits at other women and tumbled into a river during a solemn moment, then why did Jameson fall for that? He’s a fucking dumbass.

________________

A family from some random country is seeking sanctuary and when Hollis looks at them, this is exactly what she thinks despite acknowledging the fact that they look ragged:

Velvet draped across every member of the family, with plenty to spare . . . which forced me to press my lips together so I didn’t giggle. Honestly, who in the world designed those sleeves? I could make an extra gown from the yardage draping off their arms. And the hats! For my life, I never understood the fashion from Isolte.

I hate Hollis so much you have no idea.

________________

Even S/jm hasn’t ever written something like this:

In truth, I never even understood people from Isolte. The word that came to mind most of the time was unoriginal. Yes, I’d heard of their great findings in astronomy and herbology, and that the medicines discovered by their doctors were yielding great benefits for their people. But the music they made was bland at best, the dances they performed were copied from ours, and most other efforts at art were modified forms of something seen elsewhere. Their fashion seemed to be their best attempt at something no one else laid claim to. And why would they?

And disregarding all their achievements in medicine and science? Wtf is wrong with Hollis?

Then again, she’s a woman who doesn’t know that lords work for the king.

________________

Now Hollis is batting her eyelashes at Jameson in front of those refugees.

________________

Chapter 5 ended. Confirmed: Hollis is now crushing on one of the Isolten refugees [Silas] because of his crushing blue eyes and charming smile after making fun of Isoltens.

________________

“Majesty, where are we going?”

“Nowhere,” he sang coyly.

Blech

________________

Chapter 6 has no content. Only involved Jameson making confessions of love to Hollis and I’m still wondering whether something’s wrong with him.

________________

“Very well, then,” she said. “You’re going to need ladies.”

I set the dress down. “No. I don’t want to build a circle of false friends. Most of the girls at court have been staring daggers at me since the night of the ball; I don’t want them near me all the time.”

Ugh. More women hating on each other. (And this is just Chapter 7)

________________

I liked Delia until she said this:

She sighed. “Fine, then. If you were going to ask one more person at court to see to your needs, who would it be? And, in the name of Estus, don’t you dare say that pig-nosed Anna Sophia.”

________________

Can Kiera please stop using the world “giggled”.

________________

“Forgive me, but why is it you’re still working now that you’re here? You’ve left Isolte—which, by the way, may be one of the smartest things a person could do—so why not start over and be a gentleman like your father? It would certainly be cleaner.”

My hatred for Hollis is rival only to that of Rhymale’s.

________________

“That’s amazing.” is an actual sentence.

________________

He made a teasing face.

It makes as much sense as S/jm saying that A/elin makes a vulgar gesture.

________________

I thought Nora existed to be the stereotypical jealous girl (and she was that, so I’m confused at how they’re getting along well now).

________________

Why does Hollis’s mother keep storming into Hollis’s room to yell at her for maybe three paras and then disappearing like the wind?

________________

Delia Grace just said that Hollis’s mother had more sense than her. Doesn’t make sense at all since Delia knows that Hollis’s mother disapproves of Delia (long story, not relevant).

________________

This book has no content except women hating on each other and Jameson fawning over Hollis for no reason at all.

[bobasheebaby]

Can’t Let Go- Be Careful What You Wish For chapter 1

Pairing: Drake x MC; (past) Liam x MC

Word count: 1,950

Warnings: Evil Liam, dark fic

Summary: Liam sets out to get back the woman who stole his heart.

A/N: thank you so much for your input @sirbeepsalot! Some of the dialogue is from chapter three but I tried to add my own flair.

Series warnings: Evil Liam, dark!fic, deceit, manipulation, dub con, possible NSFW content, possible character death. This is taking the Liam from TRH to the extreme, he is not the Liam we know and love. By clicking read more you acknowledge you are at least 18 years of age.

Let me know if you want to be added or removed from the taglist.

Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the characters, I’m simply borrowing from PB for a bit.

Liam tried to let her go, release his longing for her. He thought the pain of her choosing another would eventually fade, that seeing Rebecca sitting and laughing with Drake would slowly become easier, but if anything it only became harder. He struggled to understand how he possibly could have lost her, he’d told her what he felt in his heart every chance he got, she knew that Madeline wasn’t where his heart lay.

How could she fall in love with another? How could she so easily give up on me while we were fighting to clear her name so we could finally be together? Were all her whispered I love you's a lie?

Liam thought watching Rebecca marry his best friend would help him come to terms with them never having a chance, but it only made his longing for her that much greater. Standing next to Drake as they pledged their love for one another only made him wish even harder that it was him she was promising to love for eternity. He slowly felt his heart crack until something in him twisted so hard it finally snapped.

There were whispers, and so much pressure after the failed Sons of Earth plot to dethrone him. Liam was a King without a Queen, he knew that soon the people would be demanding he marry and produce an heir. He knew the longer it took the weaker their small country would seem.

He wanted to marry for love. But really he wanted to marry the one woman he could not have. He wanted, no he needed Rebecca. He needed her like he needed air to breathe. She had become to him as needed as oxygen to live. He knew there would never be another like her. She would be the only woman to ever claim his heart and soul. No one else would ever get him and fit into this life so easily. She handled the life as if she were born and bred for it, respected him for who he was not his title, he could never find anyone who would complete him like she did.

I need to get her back.

Watching Drake and Rebecca leave for their honeymoon felt like he’d been sucker punched in the gut. Knowing they’d be starting to try for their own heir for their duchy only made him lose his mind.

It should have been me with her. It should be my heir, not his. He doesn’t even want this life. She deserves a man who can rule confidently beside her.

He heard whispers that the King and Queen of Auvernal may pay him a visit to discuss his lack of an heir. He saw this as his chance to get what he craved, and he craved her. He couldn’t let her go. He couldn’t let his chance slip through his fingers once again. He wouldn’t allow a minor setback to stop him from having her, not when he knew she felt it too. Why else would she spend the night of her bachelorette party with him?

She’s lying to herself, it’s me who she wants, not him. I just have to remind her.

Liam scoured the archives for any evidence to back up the claims he would have to make to get what he wanted. He knew there was a chance that someone would question him and he needed to have proof just in case. Normally he’d delegate the task to someone else but he didn’t want anyone to know exactly what he was planning. He needed to go slowly, not show all of his cards at once. He didn’t want them to realize what it was that he truly wanted too soon, or they may find a way to refuse his request. He knew Drake felt as though he owed him, getting them to agree to allow him to name their child as his heir would be the easy part.

There is no way he’ll say no to me, he admitted he feels guilty for stealing my girl.

It was what he would request next that would be tricky. He knew if he played it right they would see it was the only option, he just had to be patient and take his time, ensure that all the steps had been followed precisely and then he would get what he wanted. He knew he’d have to pretend to be caring and understanding, attempt to hold back his feelings for her when all he wanted was to pull Rebecca into his arms.

This will work. I will have her by my side where she belongs.

If he could slowly lay out his plan, drive a wedge between them he knew he’d have her as is queen. His plan was so simple, so easy. He knew that once she saw how weak Drake was she’d see she’d chosen the wrong man. He knew he could win her back. There wasn’t anything that he wasn’t willing to do. He’d go as far as necessary to get the woman of his dreams back.

Weaken their relationship, play the caring supportive friend. By the time he realizes something is wrong it will be too late.  She will be my queen.

Liam carefully laid out his plans. Slowly, methodically, careful to ensure that he would have no false steps or surprises. He refused to leave anything to chance, he would regain her heart. He would never let her slip through his fingers again.

As he stepped off the jet, his friends in tow, he had to suppress a smile. He felt that everything was going perfectly, there wasn’t a stone left unturned, no possible way he could be found out. He kept his lips in a thin line, his hands shoved in his pockets, he needed to play this as though he was their friend, he couldn’t allow anyone to suspect anything was up, especially not Drake. He needed to seem as though he hesitated to ask this of them, he couldn’t let them believe he had any other motives for wanting to name their child as his heir. He struggled to keep his mind clear as they spoke, his eyes never straying from her. He internally smiled as Drake readily agreed.

I knew he couldn’t say no to me.

He was unsurprised by Rebecca’s hesitation, he expected as much. He knew her, what drove we forward, what made her heartbeat quicken, and what made it freeze in time.

I know her better than Drake does.

He easily circumvented anymore questions by introducing his surprise. He knew they wouldn’t be able to say no to an extra day in paradise, with their friends no less. It had the added benefit of taking her mind off of all the reasons she would want to tell him no. He wouldn’t let her answer, not yet. No he’d catch her once she was rested, even if his heart ached at the thought of her spending the night with Drake.

How could she ever fall for him? He’s all snark, he doesn’t put her and her needs first.

Liam waited until she was cornered. He’d have preferred that she was alone, but Drake was never too far behind.

Soon enough she will be where she belongs. Soon she will be with me.

The meaningless small talk spilled from his lips as he lulled her into complacency. His heart beating faster the closer he got to finally getting the answer he needed. He offered her a practiced rueful smile. “There is one official matter we need to discuss before we arrive… the question of a royal heir.” Liam swallowed thickly trying to remove the bile from his throat as Drake took her hands into his. “I’d hoped to give you and Drake more time to consider the idea, but the court and the Council have been pressing me for a decision. And to be honest, the public is already speculating whether their favorite noble couple will have a child…”

It’s us they should be waiting with bated breath to celebrate with. Soon enough it will be us again my love.

Rebecca’s eyes widened in shock, Liam had to bite back the smile forming at her disbelief. “So the whole kingdom wants to know if our baby will be the next ruler of Cordonia?”

Liam nodded. He felt jealous rage coil it’s way around his heart as he watched her glance to Drake for comfort and guidance.

I’m the one who she should go to for comfort.

“I’m ready for this if you are, Allen.” Drake replied, smiling encouragingly.

“Liam…” Rebecca paused, the words hanging on the tip of her tongue as she hesitated. His breath caught in his throat as he awaited her response. “This is a lot of responsibility… but I think we’re up for it.”

You are strong and shall be a perfect queen soon enough my love.

Liam couldn’t stop the smile from spreading to his lips. “I know you are. Thank you both. I can’t tell you how much this means to me… and how much it’ll mean to the kingdom.”

Just a few more steps and the rightful heir, my heir will soon be on its way.

“I’m guessing your Royal guests from Auvernal will have questions for us too.” Drake pulled Liam from his quiet victory.

Soon you will no longer have a say.

Liam pulled his lips into a thin line. “No doubt. I’ve asked the Royal Council to meet us at Valtoria, so you two can check on your duchy while we discuss the matter of King Bradshaw and Queen Isabella.”

One last piece of the puzzle to put into place today.

Liam waited until Drake headed towards the back of the plane. “Drake.” His voice warm and placating. “I was thinking, with your child being named the heir, perhaps it wouldn’t be a bad idea to speak to a doctor.”

“What do you mean?” Drake asked his face contorted in confusion.

Liam gave him a false smile. “I just meant you and Rebecca agreeing to help me out is huge, and it might not be a bad idea to make sure you are both healthy enough. Since I have the council breathing down my neck they may not take kindly if it took too long. I’m grateful to you and Rebecca and it would just help me feel better if you went. I mean I’m going to be announcing this soon.”

“Right.” Drake swallowed thickly. “Announcing it.” He felt as if he’d been hit with a ton of bricks. “Yea, it probably wouldn’t be a bad idea to get checked.”

He won’t even see it coming.

Liam reaches into his breast pocket retrieving a slim white card, handing it over to Drake. “Dr Ramirez is the best.” He clapped Drake on the shoulder. “I think it’s best if you let this come from you, I wouldn’t want the added pressure to get to her too soon.”

Drake stared ahead like a deer caught in the headlights. “Pressure. Right.” He nodded, the weight of Cordonia falling on his shoulders, fear and panic coursing through his veins.

“Thank you again Drake.” Liam pulled him into his arms hugging him, his eyes glistening with unshed tears as he pulled back. “I can’t tell you how much it means to me that you and Rebecca would be willing to let me name your child my heir.” He gave him one last pat before turning and returning to his seat, smile upon his lips.

Everything is in place. Now all that’s left is to sit back and wait until she’s back in my arms where she belongs.

Feedback fuels me, please like, comment reblog or send an ask. Feel free to scream, I promise I can take it.

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[talpup]

Erase the Shadow: 12

Summary: Despite sharing dreams with Teris for as long as he can remember, Aizawa Shouta never believed in soulmates.  That was until he met Teris in the real world on his first day at UA.  Trouble is, Teris doesn’t know anything about their shared dreams.  And the one time Shouta tried to tell her, he nearly lost her completely.

Five years after graduating from UA, Shouta still believes Teris is his soulmate. But things have only gotten worse.  Teris moved to another town shortly after graduation.  And now she’s dating his best friend Yamada Hizashi.

Please remember, this fic is rated explicit and has warnings of sex, violence, and other possible triggers.

***If you prefer reading off AO3 here’s the link for that: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22027552/chapters/55261261

If you enjoyed reading this at all please comment and let me know. Since I post for free, think of it as nice way of leaving a tip.  And since comments are the only thing that encourages me to keep editing and posting, it’s also a benefit for you.

Thank you to those who have left hearts.  And a VERY special thank you to those who have recently left comments or re-blogged. They REALLY mean a lot.

As always, an extra special thank you to @inorganicone2230 for their encouragement and friendship.  Also for them helping plot bunny this story out and reading through a piece of this chapter before its posting.  This fic was my personal guilty pleasure, and without them never be getting posted.

12.1

“Babe! Do you really have to go on patrol tonight?” Hizashi was getting ready to go to a party the radio station was putting on and was still trying to convince Teris to accompany him. “You’ve been livin’ here for almost a year and still haven’t met anyone.  Everyone at the station is startin’ to think you don’t exist.”

“I’m an underground hero, Zashi.  It’s better if people don’t know I exist.”  Teris replied from the en suite bathroom.

“But you wouldn’t be going as a hero, Babe!  You’d be going as my girlfriend.”

Teris pulled up the other bra strap and sighed at her image in the mirror.  She could hear the hurt hidden beneath her boyfriend’s cajoling whine.

Damn it.  Was she really that bad a girlfriend?  Why was it that she couldn’t go a single day without proving to herself and Hizashi just how terrible and unworthy she was of him?  It was a wonder he had stuck with her this long.  It wasn’t as if she were anything special.

As much as she didn’t want to meet a large group of loud, extroverted people, Hizashi was right.  She had been living with him in Musutafu for nearly a year and one of his greatest excitements, other than living and working together, had been that she would meet his friends and colleagues at the radio station.

Grabbing the dark grey shirt of her hero costume, she exited the bathroom.  “You’re right.  I’m sorry, Sunshine.”

“Does that mean you’ll come?”

Teris gave a scoffing chuckle at Hizashi's theatrical pouting expression.

“Please, Ris Wren.  It’ll be fun.  I promise.  And if you hate them we can leave early and have the rest of Saturday night to ourselves.”

“I can’t, my Love.  I’m scheduled to do patrol.”

“So call in.”

“Eraser’s counting on me.”

Hizashi ducked and turned his head, hiding his frown.  “Eraser will be fine.”

“I have no doubt he’ll be fine without me. But he was gonna introduce me to this CI that’s apparently a wealth of information.”

Hizashi lifted his head, green eyes fixing on hers. “You’ve been working every other weekend with him for how long and you still haven’t met all his contacts?  Sounds like he’s holdin’ out on you.”

Probably so he can claim that there’s still a reason for you to do these stupid joint patrols with him, he thought sullenly.  He really should've pushed Teris harder on cutting down her patrol hours before Nemuri had the chance to suggest Teris and Shouta team up.

Teris stepped closer to him, explaining. “The underground doesn’t work the same as regular heroing.” Her hands trailed up his chest.  “People in that life are skittish. It takes time for someone new to prove themselves and gain their trust.  Honestly, I’m surprised Shouta got this woman to agree to meet me so quickly.”

Hizashi perked up at that.  “Woman?”

Teris rolled her eyes.  “Oh.  Now he’s interested.”  She gripped his shirt and tugged him closer. “You’re taken.  By me.  Remember?”

“I remember that greatest top hit every millisecond of the day, Ris.” His arms snaked around her waist, knees bending to better line up their hips.  “But, Eraser? Working with a woman?”

Teris tired to ignore the tiny swell of jealousy at the thought of Eraserhead working with another woman.

She fiddled with his shirt collar.  “I wouldn’t call it working. She’s a CI.  It’s not like she does jobs with him.”

“Still...” He kissed a trail from her cheek to her neck, rubbing his semi-hard cock against her. “Don’t CI’s usually require payment for their information? And not always in cash.”  He nipped at her neck.  “I wonder how he pays her.”

12.2

Hizashi's words stayed with Teris as she walked with Eraserhead down a narrow pass through between buildings.

“We usually don’t meet at her place of work, but I think she wanted the extra protection the bouncers bring when meeting you.”  Shouta gave a small, sideways smirk expecting Shadow to scoff at the thought of her being a threat to a possible informant.

When she didn’t, his lips thinned.  It wasn’t that Shadow was distracted.  He would have called her out on that. But she had been distant since the first moment they had greeted at their usual meeting spot.

“What do you pay her in?”  Teris asked, softly.

She kept her eyes straight ahead, focusing on him out of her periphery. She didn’t want him thinking she was bothered.

Why did she even care how Shouta paid the dancer, come call girl?  He was a grown man and could do whatever he wanted. It wasn’t as if he were her boyfriend.  No, she told herself.  But if the woman’s to become my CI, it’s something I should know.

That’s right, she reason.  She wasn’t asking because she was worried and jealous.  She was asking because the woman would likely expect the same sort of payment from her and she needed to know if she could, or was willing to deliver.

“Various things depending on the level of information and her mood.”  Shouta answered.

She wouldn’t even glance at him.  Had he done something wrong? He reminded himself that he was introducing her to a new CI.  One that had helped him with many a case, and could do the same for her.  It was logical that Shadow would be focused and not in the mood for friendly banter.  He shouldn’t read too much into it.

Teris’ thumb rubbed against the dull obsidian point at the end of one of the metal knuckles bars.  She carried two of them.  Each of the slender ‘u’ shaped weapons had one long end slipped in the front pocket of her black jeans.  The other long silver line merely appearing an adornment to the average eye.

Eraserhead’s words looped in her mind.  Various things depending on… her mood.

Would someone who was paid for sex want sex as payment?  She glanced at Eraser and swallowed.  She was with Hizashi.  She really shouldn’t care how Eraser paid his CI’s. She needed to focus, not wonder if this woman sought sex from Eraserhead as payment.

Would Eraser even agree to such a form payment if asked?  He didn’t have a girlfriend...

Stop it!  She silently scolded herself.

Shouta stopped in front of a door with no handle.  “We’re here.”

He looked at her, gauging her readiness.  Why did she look distracted now of all times?

“You ready?”  He questioned, lowly.

Teris tried to ignore his deep rumbling voice and inhaled deeply, staring at the metal door.

“Yeah.” She exhaled.

Shouta saw her focus return.  He waited a beat, making sure.  Finally he took a fortifying breath of his own and knocked the short coded beat into the door.

They were shown to a rather spacious dressing room.

For a moment Teris wondered about privacy, thinking the room was for all the dancers.  But she quickly took in the single vanity and comfortable lounge seating, and realized this was all for one person.

“Big Boy’s gonna stay by the door if that’s alright with you, Eraser.” Said a feminine voice from behind a dressing screen.

“Whatever makes you comfortable.”  Shouta said, his deep rumbling voice a stark contrast to the high sweet one that had just spoken.

Even her voice was lovely.  Teris quickly shooed away the troublesome thought.

She noticed the name above the vanity mirror.  “Your name is Delphin?”

“Eraser didn’t even tell you that much?”  The melodious voice questioned. “Why am I not surprised.  The handsome devil doesn’t easily give out information.  He only seeks it.  Yes.  I’m known as Delphin.  I took the name based off the pretty but deadly little flower cluster Delphinium.  And you are known as Shadow. Correct?”

“And I thought you said Eraser wasn’t good at giving info.”  Teris’ smirk cut short when a lacy bra was flung over the shielding screen.

She stole a glance at Eraserhead, upset at her own gladness when she saw his head tilted and lowered, black hair curtaining off any hope of a view.

“Oh, Eraser didn’t tell me.”  Delphin said, pulling a silk robe from the screen.  “You were clocked the moment you moved into town. Well, at least the moment you started patrolling here. Your darkness quirk had quite a few folk worried.”  She stepped out into view.  “They thought you were working for this Void that some are whispering about.”

Teris blinked at the woman.  She was… beautiful.  Hell.  If Delphin asked her for sex as payment she, at the very least, would be tempted to consider it.

Delphin glanced at Shouta, red lips turning up into a smile.  “But when you started working with Eraser here.  Most peoples concerns were put to rest.”

Shouta lifted his head.  “Most?”

“Come now, Eraser.  You know people aren’t won over so easily.  New opinions take time to form.  Trust must be earned.” Delphin caught the slight pinch of worry in the Erasure Hero’s brow.  “You can’t make everyone fall in love with Shadow.  No matter how cute she is.”

The furrow between Shouta’s eyebrows deepened a fraction, but a fraction was all Delphin needed.  This would be fun.

“Come. Sit.  Let me and your partner get acquainted.  Delphin looked the female pro hero over as they all made their way to the small sitting area.

She was a pretty thing, even in dark grey and black with no make-up. Delphin could tell her clothes weren’t picked for the purpose of flattering.  But since they fit properly, unlike Eraserhead’s baggy garb, the hugging jeans and cotton, scoop necked tee definitely did flatter her heroes body.

“So this is who you’ve been ignoring me for, Eraser.”  Delphin saw the barest tightening in Shadow’s shoulders.

Oh. This was definitely going to be fun, she thought.

Shouta opened his mouth to reply that Delphin hadn’t left any messages on his work voice mail saying she had information worthy of a meeting. But before he could make a sound she went on.

“Not that I blame you.  Pretty, new hero comes to town.  No doubt you’ve been showing her everything Musutafu has to offer.  Tell me.  How just how well do you two know each other?  How deep does the partnership go?”

Teris stared. Was this woman capable of making every sentence she spoke have a sexual connotation?  She’d hate for Delphin and Hizashi to meet.  The two would no doubt have a blast trying to out do each other.

“That’s not your concern.”  Shouta told.

“Protective, are we?”  Delphin played, her laugh as clear and beautiful as a crystal.

Teris had never felt so dull and ugly in her life; and given all the reprimands she received as a child about her habits and state of dress, that was saying something.

“You know I don’t tolerate personal questions.”  Shouta stated, without emotion.

“Oh! So your dealings together are personal are they?  Should I be jealous?”

“I don’t see why.  Our contact is work based and both party’s can end the deal at any time.”  Shouta said of his and Delphin’s agreement.

Delphin’s sparkling eyes raked hungerly over him.  “But one can derive so much pleasure from work, Sugar.  Wouldn’t you say?”

“I find fulfillment in my work.”  Shouta admitted.

“Do you find fulfillment working with me?”  She asked, voice as smooth as silk.

“You provide good information.”  Shouta replied, oblivious to Teris’ rising ire.

It wasn’t that he didn’t catch Delphin’s suggestive teasing.  He wasn’t an idiot.  But he was use to her ways and, tiresome as all of it was, at least Delphin wasn’t as blatant or forward as Ms. Joke.

“Only after sufficient, satisfactory payment, Handsome.”  She turned her shimmering eyes to Teris.  “Has he ever drilled you for information?  He can be rather ruthless.  Can’t he.  Then again I like at man who knows what he wants and is willing to work long and hard for it.”

“Are we gonna get to the point of this meeting anytime soon?”  Teris questioned, shortly.

Surprised by her sharpness, Shouta looked at her out of the corner of his eye.

“Don’t like being ignored, Sweetness?”  Delphin asked.  “Then again I know all about Eraser and the point of tonight is to get a feel for you.  To decide if I like you enough to let you use me too.”

Shouta swallowed.  A flash of an image shot through his mind before he could stop it.  It made his blood pump with desire and possessiveness.

Shit. He knew how Delphin talked and teased.  Why hadn’t he thought that she would do the same with Shadow?  Not that being prepared would have made him feel any better about the woman talking to his Love that way.  Still, that didn’t explain Shadow’s annoyance with Delphin.

“It took me a long time to let Eraser tie me down and pump me for information.”  Delphin continued.

Teris gritted her teeth.  The woman was trying to toy with her.  No. She was toying with her.  Because you’re stupid enough to let her, she thought.  Some hero your are.  Letting a possible CI get to you like this.

If Delphin had been talking about any other hero Teris wouldn’t have cared. But Eraserhead was different.  Eraserhead was Shouta.  And Shouta was-- Not yours, she reminded herself harshly.

How is it that you don’t like it when Hizashi uses terms of ownership, but are sitting here wanting to claim a man that you have no right to try and claim?  Shouta's not your boyfriend.  He’s your boyfriend’s best friend.  You’re such a hypocrite.  You’re an idiot hero, and terrible girlfriend.

What kind of person desires their boyfriend’s best friend?  You don’t deserve anyone.  But you certainly don’t deserve someone as sweet and caring as Hizashi.  He was either blind or kind enough to date you in the first place, and here you are nearly three years in your relationship with him wanting Shouta.

Do you really think Hizashi would stay with you if he had any idea how you felt about his best friend? You sick, disgusting fuck.  No wonder your family didn’t want you. They might've said they disowned you because you wanted to become a hero; but let’s face it, they were looking for an excuse.  You were a disgrace of daughter.  Just like you’re a disgrace and despicable girlfriend.  You lost your name and your family to be a hero, and here you sit being a discredit to that as well.

“So tell me, Shadow.  What kind of hero are you?  You must be something special to get the normally lone Eraserhead to team with and vouch for you.”

Short as the meeting was, Shouta was glad when it was over.  He didn’t think himself a jealous person.  He had managed to tolerate Hizashi hanging all over Teris without hitting him yet. But Hizashi was his best friend.  And Delphin’s constant subtle sexual turn of phrase set his teeth on edge.

Shouta and Teris got to their feet.

Big Boy, who had silently stood at the rooms entrance, opened the door.

“Eraser. Stay a moment more if you would.” Delphin smiled, coyly.  “I have something special for you that you’ve been wanting.  Something that you’ll pay me real good for.”

Shouta glanced at Shadow, inciting Delphin to tell Teris.

“Oh, you can wait out in the hall or go get a drink at the bar, Sweet One. Big Boy will make sure they know it’s on me.”

The way Shadow paused and looked at him out of the corner of her eye told Shouta that she wasn’t keen on leaving him alone with Delphin.  But Shouta trusted Delphin well enough to be comfortable. He had been getting intel from the woman for a couple years.  He knew she wouldn't try anything.

He gave Shadow single nod.

Teris reluctantly followed the large Bouncer out of the dressing room.

As soon as the door closed Shouta questioned.  “What do you have?”

Delphin noted how he didn’t step back to the sitting area.  He probably didn’t want to leave Shadow alone out there for too long. A smart, all be it protective, move on the hero’s part.

She rose to her feet.  “You asked me to keep an ear out for this Void people are whispering about.”

Shouta’s eyes met hers as she stepped to him.

Despite his studied efforts, Delphin was able to see the hungry hope he felt for any sliver of information.  It wasn’t his fault.  Eraserhead was rather good at hiding his emotions.  He was excellent at it in fact.  It was one of the main reasons she continued their agreement.  He was a challenge that kept her people reading skills sharp.

“What have you learned?”  Shouta asked, not liking how she entered his space.

“Aren’t you going to ask me what this information will cost?  You usually do.”

“What do you want?”

“Since you brought me that cute hero to play with, and this is clearly something important to you.  Why don’t we call it even.”

Shouta's eyes narrowed.  “Even the smallest information costs with you.”

“Fine then.  Since you insist.  How about forgiveness?”

“Forgiveness?”

Before he could wonder what she wanted forgiveness for, Delphin kissed his stubbled cheek.

It was closed mouth and quick, but purposefully messy.

Shouta jerked his head back, scowling.

He didn’t step back or push her away; but the tension in his body told her that she had crossed a line.

“I’m sorry.  I don’t know what came over me.”  Delphin lied.

Far from pacified by her apology, Shouta frowned at her.

She stepped back out of his space. “It won’t ever happen again.  I promise.”

“If it does, our arrangement is over.” He told flatly.

Delphin swallowed.

Okay, maybe she had misjudged Eraserhead this time.  Yes, she had expected him to be upset; but she hadn’t thought that he would threaten to end their bargain.  He must’ve liked Shadow far more than she thought.

“I swear, Eraser.  I’ll be good.”  Delphin ducked her head and pouted, a contrite look that always worked on lesser men.

Shouta sighed roughly, well aware that she wasn’t truly sorry.  But so long as she didn’t do it again he would let it slide. Forgiveness was an easy price to pay for any information on the Void.

“What do you have?”

“Turns out that this Void has someone with a sleep or dream quirk working for them.”  Delphin told.

Shouta felt stupid that he had never considered such a thing.  If the Void had someone with a somnambulist type quirk working for him it would explain how he was able to enter his and Teris’ shared dreams.  He would have to look at the quirk registry and see how the various somnambulist quirks worked.  Maybe even met and ask Nemuri.  Though he would have to be careful if he did.  He didn’t want to chance Nemuri learning about and getting involved with the Void.

“I really am sorry, Eraser.  I know I overstepped.  I swear I meant nothing by it.”

Shouta’s neck stiffened at the memory of the pecking kiss.  “No need to mention it again.”

“If I get anything else I’ll call and leave you a message.”  Delphin promised, wanting to make amends.

Eraserhead was more than a fun visitor that kept her people reading skills well honed.  He was one of the few people she saw that didn’t want her for sex.  She doubted the man had ever looked her over with anything more than an initial appraising glance to make sure she was well and not a threat.

Shouta opened the door just as Teris got slapped across the face.

He rushed over to her, while another man pulled the attacking woman back.

“Fucking Slut!  He’s mine!  Bitch!  Get your own man and stay away from mine!”  The woman raged.

“You best leave.”  The Bouncer told, already crowding them in effort to usher them out the back door they had entered through.

Shouta wrapped a steadying arm around Shadow’s waist and led her down the hall.

Once outside, he stopped.  “Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” In truth Teris was still dazed by what happened, but that wasn’t what Eraserhead was asking.

“You’re bleeding.”

“What?” She lifted her hand to her stinging cheek.

Shouta grabbed her hand before she could touch and smear the blood.  He moved her to a small, low crate beside the door.

“Sit down.”  He helped her sit and squatted in front on her.  “Are you sure you’re alright?”

“I’ve been hit harder, Eraser.”  Teris said, more embarrassed than hurt.

Shouta's heart squeezed.

He knew she had taken harder hits.  Much to his distaste, he had seen it happen during their patrols.  It was something that stayed with him.  Though he was able to lock the images and guilt that came with those instances away.

She looked down at his still holding hand. His skin was warm.  Fingers calloused.  Touch gentle but firm.  Just as she had imagined.

“Looks like the bleeding stopped.”  He commented, worried eyes focused on her cut cheek.

Her fingers began to close around his.  No!  This was wrong.  She pulled her hand out of his and tried to stand, but Shouta stopped her.

He had been about to apologize when she pulled her hand away, but then she started to get up.  “Stay.”

His hands hovered over her, afraid to touch her and cause further offense.

Teris’ eyebrows furrowed in question.

“We need to disinfect that.”  He explained.

“It’s a scratch, Eraser.”

“It still needs treating, Shadow.”

They stared at each other.

It was clear from his expression that he wasn’t backing down, so Teris gave in.

She relaxed and Shouta opened a pouch on his utility belt.  “Stubborn.”

The word was mumbled so softly that she questioned.  “What?”

“What happened?”  He asked, pulling supplies out.

She eyed him pretty sure that wasn’t what he said.  “Some guy started hitting on me.”

Shouta needlessly busied himself with the alcohol and antibiotic packets. “What did you say?”

“What do you think I said?  I politely told him I wasn’t interested.  And when he kept on, I told him to get lost.”

She normally would’ve said she had a boyfriend; but since she was on patrol, details like that were guarded.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there.”

“I can handle myself, Eraser.”

Shouta smirked at that.  He lifted a hand, tucking her hair behind an ear, better exposing the scratch on her cheek. “Sure looks that way.”

Teris rolled her eyes.

His hand remained.  Her hair was so soft.  Focus, he scolded himself.

His fingers trailed the line of her jaw.

Her eyes fluttered closed.  Try as she might to hold still, her head slightly tilted into his touch.

Not wanting to pull away, Shouta, used his teeth to tear open the alcohol swabs foil lined packet.  With his other hand, he pulled the swab free.

He caught her chin between his fingers and gently guided her face closer.  “You alright?”

She opened her eyes.  How and when did he get so close?  That’s right. He had moved her.  And like putty in his hands she had went easily. Too easily.

“Yeah.” She breathed.

Shouta's thumb lightly brushed beneath her lip.  “This might sting a bit.”

It was silly warning to give. Small as the scratch was its cleaning likely wouldn’t cause her any discomfort.  But he was doing everything he could to extend this moment.

She was so close.  He could feel her breath on his face.  It was the most glorious feeling in the world, to breath the same air.

“I’ll be fine.”  She whispered, eyes locked on his.

“Will you?”

Would either of them be fine without the other?  Everyday was more difficult than the last.  Try as he might to hide his feelings he couldn’t help but think he was failing miserably.

He had told himself that he would wait. That he would let Hizashi ruin things with her and then take his chance. But nearly three years later, Hizashi and Teris were still together.  He didn’t want to betray and risk losing his best friend, but…

A breeze ruffled Shouta's hair.

Something on his cheek, hidden by his dark, wavy locks, caught her eye.  A flash of color that shouldn’t be there.

Teris’ hand lifted, tucking back his hair.  For a moment her heart squeezed, thinking he had been hurt.  But the red was too bright.  Realization dawned.  Her heart clenched for a completely different reason.

At Teris’ contact, a soft groan sounded from the back of Shouta's throat.

It was one thing for him to touch her, but this…  That single touch felt so much better than he ever could’ve imagine.

Too soon, her hand pulled away.

She rose to her feet and stepped to the side.

“Shadow?” Shouta stood and stepped after her. “I’m sor--”

“You got lipstick.”  She muttered, unable to look at him.

Why did her heart ache so much?  She was with Hizashi.  She shouldn’t care.

Shouta heard the crack in her voice.  His hand raised to his cheek.  Delphin, he thought.  Her lipstick must’ve transferred when she--

“She kissed me.”  He tried to explain.

“Whatever you do with your CI’s is your own business, Eraser.”

“Shadow. No. It’s not like that--”

Her phone rang.

“I gotta take this.”  She said without looking at the screen.

Shouta watched her step further away.  He wanted to explain.  Wanted to tell her that he hadn’t expected the kiss.  That he hadn’t wanted it.

It turned out the call had been important.  One of her former students needed her help.

Teris quickly explained that the student would have graduated last year if it weren’t for the Hero Commissions order and that the young man said he was injured.  Lucky for them, he had moved to Musutafu soon after the Hero Commissions order and wasn’t far away.

Teris had tried to talk Eraser out of going with her, but Shouta insisted on accompanying.

He didn’t like the idea of her meeting anyone, even an ex-student, alone.  More than that, something about this wasn’t right.  Why wouldn’t the young man simply go to a clinic?

He had a feeling that Shadow wondered that same which was why she had fought so hard against him going.  But Shouta could be just as stubborn as Teris, and in the end the two were walking to the given address.

The walk gave Shouta time to think, and he came to a realization that excited him with gladness despite the circumstances.

“This is the address.”  Teris said, turning into a small run down apartment block.

The unlatched apartment door swung open at her knock.

“Sensei?” A voice called cautiously from within.

“Kiro?”

Teris entered, Shouta at her heels.

“Sensei! I—I’m sorry.  I heard you accepted a position at UA and didn’t know who else to call. I was wounded but can’t go to a clinic.  They’d ask too many questions.  I’m sorry, Sensei. Please.  Help.”

While the young man talked, Shouta gave the place a cursory check.  He peeked over the bar style counter-top into the kitchen, and then in the bedroom before closing apartment door and locking it.

“It’s clear.”  He told Shadow, who was already looking over the young mans injuries.

“Sensei. Wh—who’s that?”

“A colleague.”  Teris answered simply, urging the young man to sit. “It’s fine, Kiro.  What happened?  Why can’t you go to a clinic?”

“You’ve turned vigilante.”  Shouta stated, dark eyes on the young man.

Kiro stared at the man’s unfriendly expression.

Teris paused in her assessment.  “Kiro?”

“I—I—I’m sorry, Sensei.”

Shouta moved by her kneeling frame.  “Shadow. We need to leave.”

Teris turned and looked up at him. “What?”

“A former student of yours turned vigilante.  You can’t be here. You could lose both your hero and teaching license if they found out.”

“We can’t leave him.  He’s injured.”

Though he felt for her and the young man, Shouta's expression remained dispassionate. “Are his injuries life threatening?”

Teris’ sense of failure and concern for her student mixed with her earlier jealously at the lipstick on Shouta’s cheek.

“Are we heroes or not?”  She snapped.

She took a steadying breath.  This wasn’t Shouta's problem.  He could get in trouble just the same as she. He shouldn’t be here.

She turned back to Kiro, dismissing him. “You should go, Eraser.  I don’t want you getting in trouble over this. Leave. Please.”

Shouta ground his teeth, exhaling through the nose.  He had said she could get in trouble. He wasn’t concerned about himself.

“Help him.” Shouta told her, fighting a growl.  “You,” he pinned the young man with a brooding glared, “don’t say a word.  Unless you want to see your Sensei in trouble, don’t tell us what you were doing or how you got those wounds.”

Teris worked quickly.  As much as she wanted to ask Kiro questions, she didn’t.  Eraser was right.  The less they knew about what happened the better.

Soon she had popped Kiro’s dislocated shoulder back in place, cleaned and steri striped two deep, sizable puncture wounds, and wrapped an ugly looking burn after applying ointment from the small first aid kit she carried on her belt.

The moment she was done, Shouta had a hand on her arm, tugging her to her feet.  Once she was standing, he moved to the door unlocking and opening it.

“Thank you, Sensei.  I’m sorry.”

Teris looked away from the young man’s watery eyes and exited without a word.

She didn’t know why he had apologized to her.  She was the one who should’ve apologized.  She wondered how many other students of hers, effected by the Hero Commissions ruling, had turned to vigilantism. Had she failed all of them?

Shouta paused just outside the door.  “I’ll be right back.  Gotta use the bathroom.  Stay here.”

He left Shadow outside and stepped back into the apartment, closing the door.

Before Kiro could fully rise to his feet, Shouta was pushing him back down with a heavy hand.  He didn’t know what the young man’s quirk was, and doubted that he would use it, but his hair rose, eyes burning red as he activated his own quirk.

“You’re going to listen.  And listen well.”  Shouta rumbled, the barest hinting of the anger inside him edging into his voice.

Kiro nodded, fearfully.

“Lose her number.  Shadow’s not your Sensei any more. And when you find yourself in trouble again, don’t you dare think about calling her for help. Lacerations and dislocations will be the least of your worries if you do.  Understand me?”

Kiro nodded again.

“Answer properly.”  Shouta's hand tightened on the young man’s tender shoulder.

Kiro squirmed in pain, his hand futilely trying to pull Shouta's off.

“I’d answer fast.  Your shoulder’s about to dislocate again.  If it does, who won’t you be calling?”

“Teris Sensei!”

Shouta blinked, deactivating his quirk.  “I told you she’s no longer your Sensei.  Don’t make me repeat myself.  I don’t like it.”

He released his grip and patted Kiro’s throbbing shoulder.

“It wasn’t suppose to be like this.”  Kiro called after the retreating hero.  “I was suppose to be a pro hero.  The Hero Commission took that away from me.  Made me waste three years of my life.  I would’ve done whatever stupid test they wanted to prove myself so I could graduate and become a pro. Instead they said we all had to start over again.  As if private heroics teachers weren’t previously seen as qualified, and trusted to teach us. It isn’t fair.”

“Life’s not fair.” Shouta said, thinking that if it were Teris would remember their shared dreams and they would have been happy together since their days at UA. “Heroing is dangerous enough when you have support and back-up you can call on.  Being a vigilante might seem the answer.  But it’s not.  You have three options.  Find something else to do with your life.  Retake the hero course.  Or continue down this path and find yourself dead or in jail within the three years it would’ve taken you to redo the hero course.  The choice is yours.”

12.3

Their patrol time was almost over so Shouta decided to simply call it an end.

Teris didn’t put up much of an argument, proving just how upset she was. Though Shouta couldn't say if it was solely from learning that a previous student of hers had turned vigilante, or if it also had something to do with what he had recently figured out.

She liked him, romantically.  It was the only logical reason for her earlier jealousy.  And she had been jealous.  He would’ve been able to reason what he saw away if it had simply been Delphin’s word play.  He had done so before with various looks and touches Teris had given him.  But when she had seen the lipstick on his cheek…

Displeased as he was by Delphin’s pecking kiss, he was grateful for what it had brought about.  The sure realization that his Love loved him in return.

Sadly, the knowledge didn’t allow him the freedom to do anything about it. She was still with Hizashi.  But the fact that Teris wanted and cared for him gave Shouta hope that she and Hizashi might not be together much longer.

He told himself that he would have to tread slowly after the two broke up. He had suffered through the near three years of Teris and Hizashi's relationship because he respected both of them.  He didn’t want to lose his best friend.  He told himself that when he and Teris got together, he would mindful.  He didn’t want to rub his relationship with her it in Hizashi's face the way Hizashi had unknowingly done with him.

There was a subtle smile on his lips as he walked beside her.  Teris had told him he didn’t have to walk her home, but he had insisted. Even though their patrol had ended early, he didn’t want their time together to end.

“Do you think it’s my fault?”  Teris asked, voice cutting into his thoughtful planning.

Shouta’s eyes turned to her.

He took in her lowered head and slumped shoulders, and immediately scolded himself.  How could he be so selfish?  While he had been pleased and excited during their walk to her and Hizashi's apartment, Teris had clearly been blaming herself for the turn one of her former students had taken.

“No. Not in the least.”  He said, firmly.

Teris sighed.

She wasn’t sure what she had wanted him to say but that wasn’t it. One thing was certain.  If the ‘tell it like it is’ Aizawa Shouta was sparing her feelings, then Hizashi and Nemuri wouldn’t give it to her straight either. Not that she would readily tell them that a former student of hers had turned vigilante.

“Hey. Listen to me.”  Shouta reached out and grabbed her arm, stopping them in front of the apartment complex.

“Shouta. I just--”

He stood facing her, hands on her shoulders.  “People make their own decisions.  You can’t control them.”

No, she thought.  But I could have taught him better.  If she were half the hero ethics instructor Shouta was, than maybe--

“It’s not your fault Teris.  You didn’t buy and persuade the Hero Commission into making that decision.  You didn’t encourage Kiro to turn vigilante.”

No. But I could have done more than try to keep tabs from afar.  I could have called.  Checked in on him.  On all of them.  I just felt so guilty that I--

“Do you really think he would have told what he was doing?”  Shouta asked.

He knew her well enough to know exactly where her mind would go.  He knew that her favored private pastime was beating herself up.

Shouta's hand cupped her face.  “Look at me.”

He gently turned and lifted her head, waiting for her eyes to follow.

“How long have you known me?”  Shouta asked, when her gaze finally met his.

Silently he wished that she would say, for as long as she could remember; but he knew it was a silly hope.

“Near twelve years.”

“And in all that time have you once known be to lie to spare someones feelings?”

She shook her head.

But this was different, she thought.  Shouta had--

“Ignore that inner argument in your head and answer me, Teris.”

“No.” She swallowed.

“No what?”

“You’ve never lied to spare someones feelings.”

“Then, special as you are, why do you think I’d start now?”

“Special?”

If he hadn’t so recently realized her feelings for him, Shouta likely would have lamely flustered his way around the telling slip. Instead, this newfound knowledge gave him a surety with her that he had only ever shown in their shared dreams.

“You have no idea how special you are.”  He told, thumb caressing her cheek.

He wanted to go on.  To tell her just how amazing and special she was. How treasured and precious she was to him.  But he didn’t.  He had patiently waited this long for friendships sake.  He could hold out a little while longer till she was no longer with Hizashi.

At least that’s what he thought.

His mouth, on the other hand, had other ideas.  “You’re amazing, Teris.  Kind. Tenacious.  Generous.  Smart.  You bring people up.  Make them better.  You make me better.”  His cradling hand moved, tucking her hair behind an ear.  “I hate that you think so little of yourself.  That you can’t see how wonderful you truly are.”  His knuckles smooth down her cheek.  “You’re beautiful, Ris.”

He glanced down at her lips, and found her staring at his when his eyes lifted.

As if by some silent accord they both inched closer.

The tips of Teris’ fingers brushed the top of his hero costume.

Moving a bit more sure than her, Shouta's other hand slid down her arm.

Teris’ gaze met his.

Shouta tilted his head.

Her eyes fell closed, lips parting softly.

Shouta felt the first whispering touch of her lips.

Teris’ phone rang.

Her eyes snapped open.

She pulled back, cursing under her breath.

“Ter--” Shouta tired.

“It’s Hizashi.”  She said, taking another step back.

What had she done?  No.  She hadn’t done anything.  They hadn’t done anything.  But you would have, she thought.  If Hizashi hadn’t called.  You would have let him kiss you.  No.  She had been moving in just the same as Shouta.  It would have been a shared, mutual kiss.

Fuck! She was such a horrible girlfriend.  Shouta was wrong.  She was a terrible person.

“Teris. I’m sorry.  I didn’t...”  Shouta fell silent.

There wasn’t much he could say.  He couldn't tell her he didn’t mean it.  That would be lying, and he wouldn't lie to her.

Teris stared into Shouta's eyes.  Eyes that were filled with want and concern.  Eyes that likely mirrored hers.

She hesitated, wanting nothing more than to step back to him and bridge the gap between them.

The sound of Hizashi's ring tone stopped, his call going to voicemail.

“Shit.” She muttered, stuffing her hand into her pocket and taking out her phone.

She took another step back.  She needed to get away before she did something that couldn’t be undone.

“I--I gotta go.”  She said, turning away.

“Teris!” Shouta called after her.

He could’ve easily caught up with her hurried steps, but he didn’t give chase.

12.4

Hizashi wasn’t drunk but he had had enough drink at the stations party to feel good.  That good feeling evaporated the instant he turned the corner and saw Shouta holding Teris by the shoulders. Her head was down and at first he thought she was hurt or upset.

He had taken a step intent on comforting his girl but then Shouta cupped her face and…

Hizashi had watched in breathless heartache. Waiting. Hoping.  That Teris would slap Shouta's hand away.  That she would back away from him and leave.  But she didn’t.

Hizashi took another step, intent on pulling his girl to his side and challenging Shouta.  He wanted to yell at his  best friend. To hit him.  Teris was his girl.  And Shouta was his friend.  His best friend.  But his whirling mind thought better of it.

Teris was accepting of Shouta's touch.  Her sweet, beautiful face was moving closer to Shouta's at the same rate as Shouta's was moving toward hers.  She wanted Shouta to kiss her.  More than that, she wanted to kiss Shouta.

I think I’m losing her. The words he told Nemuri a couple months back floated through his mind.

Would this be how he lost her?  What if he went over there and blew up at Shouta for making moves on his girl and Teris pulled away from his side and moved to Shouta's?  What if him going over there and confronting this was what caused her to break up with him?  He couldn’t have that.  He couldn’t lose her.  He would come up with a way to keep her.  But first he had to stop this.

He quickly pulled the phone from his pocket and blindly called her.

He heard his ring tone echo across the quiet street as it played from her phone.

Teris pulled back.  It looked like Shouta was apologizing.  She turned and rushed away.

Hizashi was able to breath again.

He watched a left alone Shouta.  It looked like his friend was upset and berating himself.

Good. Hizashi thought.  Shouta should be mad at himself.

It was bad enough that Shouta had entered Teris’ dreams and had been caught watching his girl countless times.  But this…  To try to kiss her.

He wondered if it had happened before.

No. He told himself.  Teris would've said something.  She would’ve stopped patrolling with Shouta.  Her constant self deprecation and sense of unworth wouldn’t have allowed her to look him in the eye if she were seeing Shouta on the side.

Still, Hizashi couldn’t help but imagine the two of them hanging out, snuggled up together at some cat cafe instead of patrolling. Would they lay in each others arms in Shouta's apartment on Friday nights and listen to his radio show, laughing and making love to the music he played?

Hizashi shook his head trying to expel the image from it.  But it didn’t go away.  Instead it kept on playing.

Nemuri's advice echoed in his mind.   You should share her.

Could he share her?  If it meant keeping Teris he could.  He would do anything to keep her.  Shouta was likely desperate enough to go along with it.  But would Teris agree?

Damn it!  He didn’t want to share her.  Teris was his.

Then another thought came to mind, brought on by a different memory.

Teris had been having a sex dream and practically said Shouta's name.  Once awake, she had claimed she hadn’t remembered her dream.  Well I guess it couldn't have been that good. He had replied.

What if Shouta really wasn’t that good in real life? Hizashi had never seen Shouta so much as flirt with someone.  Shouta certainly had never had a girlfriend.  Considering how little the man went out and that Shouta had never hinted at any escapades, it was highly likely he was still a virgin.

Hizashi knew that he was a great lover even without his vibrating tongue. If he could show Teris that Shouta was a clumsy virgin fool…

A plan began to form.  And while far from pleased, Hizashi did feel better as he entered his shared apartment with Teris.

[vintagemermaidscove]

The Merthur Fic

That I don’t have time to write...

Chapter 1

Arthur and Merlin are wrapping up a quest at a small neighboring kingdom. Mercia had made plans to take it over with little fuss, but Arthur led a small army to defend the land. Merlin is being tended to in the infirmary after being bucked from his horse near the end of the battle. The widowed Queen, some 80 years old, is presenting Arthur with a token of her affection- as her kingdom is only wealthy enough to just sustain itself, she has no way of properly paying him. Instead she presents as a gift a family heirloom. A braided silver ring that is rumored to have the power to ‘reveal to a ruler all he must know to keep himself and his kingdom safe and happy.’. Arthur believes the woman to be quite mad, but she is sweet and old so he accepts the gift, even putting it on at her insistence.

Arthur collects Merlin (Gwaine and Lance make a couple of cracks about ‘picking up the wife’) and they set out to return to Camelot.

Chapter 2

Uthur receives Arthur upon his return with the usual amount of warmth. He dismisses Merlin so the two may discuss kingdom matter and Arthur feels a pang at his departure. (Annoying as he is, he somehow always manages to cheer Arthur up.)

After the meeting he wanders down to the kitchens, too restless to sleep and hoping someone will be up who can make him a spot of tea. He finds Gwen doing a bit of experimental baking, and they chat. Things have been awkward between the two of them lately, and for some reason in the dead of night he finally is able to talk about it.

He admits when they first met he was quite fond of her and wanted something to happen. She says she would have liked that, but as time went on and Arthur did nothing, she assumed the interest had passed. Then Lance came along, and for a while she thought he might be jealous, but again he did nothing.    

Arthur says he wanted to be jealous, even put on the act of it as if it might make it true. She is beautiful and wonderful, and would make a fine queen, so Arthur wanted to want her. But he couldn’t make it so. Gwen smiles and pats his hand, taking no offense. She assures him that when he meets the right person, he won’t have to think so hard about it. He’ll just know.

Chapter 3

The next day Arthur puts the knights through their paces, claiming their performance against the Mercian army was mediocre at best. He tracks Merlin as he walks around the edge of the practice field, subconsciously doing his best to impress him. Uther appears suddenly and calls Arthur over to chastise him for overworking his men. He thinks he ought to be spending more time instructing them and himself on strategy and less on brute force.

Furious at once again being unable to please his father, Arthur takes the long way back to the men and in doing so overhears his knights in conversation.

Percival is griping and doesn’t get how Gwaine can stay so cheery. “Simple mate. You’ve lived here all your life, so you’ve only ever known one king and one prince. But I’ve been around. I’ve seen truly sadistic kings work their knights to death for no good reason, and I’ve seen lazy and stupid princes who don’t give a cup of piss for their kingdom’s safety. Sure, he’s a prick at times, but Arthur’s a good man. He’ll be a bloody good king. So, if he wants to drag me out for training at the crack of dawn or send me to protect some speck of a kingdom, you can bet I’ll do it with a smile. Cause I’ve seen the alternative.”

Lance nods and agrees. Arthur is thrown by the kindness of these words and doesn’t move. Gwaine adds that even so there is one thing he’s being especially idiotic about. All the knights agree, and Leon asks if there’s anything that can be done. Lance says you can’t force things like that, he’ll do something when he’s ready. One knight asks if it’s even allowed in Camelot, since he knows in some kingdoms it isn’t even legal. Merlin appears and asks them what their talking about and they all clam up. Arthur emerges and pretends not to have heard anything.

Chapter 4

During his bath Arthur asks Merlin about what his father said. Merlin says plainly that the knights are perfectly well informed about strategy, but if he does want them studying more it’d be best to do it in winter. Use the last of the summer weather to their advantage. Arthur admits this is passably good advice. Merlin teases him about just how much he knows that Arthur doesn’t ask about. Arthur jokes that he’ll make every effort.

Chapter 5

After supper Morgana pulls Arthur aside and says she heard Uther chewing him out early. (What? I like watching the knights spar, I am only a woman.) She wanted to show him something that might make him feel better.

She brings him to Uther’s study, sure by now he’ll be asleep, and reveals a hidden key and chest. Inside are letters he has written to his deceased wife- many of them about Arthur and Morgana. She’s read them all of course and thinks there are a few he might benefit from reading himself. When asked why she is doing this for him, she informs him that she wants the two of them to get along, because she’s planning on leaving Camelot. She wants to study her magic and knows doing so is impossible here. Maybe before she leaves she can mend some fences.

Arthur reads what his father wrote about him- that he is too hard on Arthur for a reason but doing so breaks his heart because he knows it means they will never be close. But his love for his son and Camelot is so great he is willing to make the sacrifice.

Arthur returns the letters and key to their places and goes to bed. He feels small and alone and desperately wishes he had someone to hold. He tries conjuring up different women in his mind but none of them fit, so at last he gives up, hugs an extra pillow to his chest and tries to fall asleep.

He dreams of dragons, and a flipping coin.

Chapter 6

The next week they receive news that a visiting king from an island kingdom will be coming through Camelot on his way to the coast, and since the two countries have no formal relationship Uther has invited them to stay in the castle.

Arthur groans internally- visit nobles always make Merlin jumpy and odd, even more so than usual.

The king and his delegation arrive- they are wealthier than expected, and quite kind, with colorful regalia and dark skin. The king introduces himself, his advisors and most surprisingly, his husband. Uther is shocked and the entire room gets uncomfortable. The visiting king stiffens, having now seen this reaction a few times on the mainland, and says if he and his husband offend they will find accommodations elsewhere.

Arthur swoops in and assures them there is no problem- their cultures are different, but not at all incompatible, and there is nowhere they would rather have them be. The kitchens have prepared a feast in their honor, and everyone is encouraged to settle in to their quarters before it begins in an hour.

Arthur begins to speak but his father cuts him off. He says he did good work for the sake of diplomacy, but it would be best that after they leave that Camelot do no more business with their country. Arthur tells his father not to be so rash- they know next to nothing about these people.

Uther

-They are strange, they cannot be trusted.

Arthur

-You speak out of fear. Think! Every other nation will be doing the same. They will go back to their homeland with no allies- what if they had us?

Uther

-They have nothing to offer.

Arthur

-You don’t know that!

Uther

-You’re being idealistic and childish.

Arthur

-No father. I am trying to act in the best interest of Camelot. I am trying to be the king you raised me to be.

Uther

-You’re not king yet.

Arthur

-No but like it or not one day I will be. One day Camelot’s fate will rest in my hands. I know you love this kingdom father- I know because I do to. I would die to keep her safe. So please, before you make of the mistake of acting on fear, let me try. Let me talk with these people. You are the one who taught me how to take measure of a man’s heart. Do you not trust your own instruction?

Uther agrees with Arthur not to make any snap judgements, and Arther leaves to go dress for the feast. He bumps into Merlin who was clearly eavesdropping. He doesn’t even have time to scold him before the servant is throwing his arms around him in a hug. He has tears in his eyes.

Chapter 7

The feast goes well, though Uther claims a headache and does not attend. Arthur thinks this is for the best, as he is able to charm the king and prince and learn all about their island- they are in fact quite rich in resources and without allies on the mainland, as they have only just begun to design vessels large enough to travel for months at sea. Morgana attends and is delighted by the company as well, taking the advances of a female body guard in more than perfect stride. Arthur can practically see her scheming to join their traveling party and makes a note to himself to make  plans to help her do so.

That night he gets fairly drunk and on his way to his bedroom somehow ends up in Merlin and Gaius’s quarters. He asks Merlin what he thought of their guests, and what Gaius knows about ‘those’ kinds of relationships. Like, whether or not they can even work.

He wants to kiss Merlin but Merlin tells him he’s drunk and confused. Arthur says he may be one, but he’s certainly not the other. Merlin sends him back to his room anyway.

He lays in bed angry- not because Merlin refused him, but because it was clear he thought he was only making advances because he was drunk and didn’t take him seriously. Arthur vows he will get sober and woo him properly- that will show the gorgeous little twat.

Chapter 8

The next evening the traveling party departs, with the promise that they are always welcome in Camelot. Uther wishes them goodbye as well. Morgana presses a letter into Uther’s hand, and gets into the caravan. She clearly enchants him to stay still and be unable to yell. Arthur and Merlin try to fight laughter.

Later in the halls, Merlin asks if Uther has started on the war path. Arthur assures him it will be fine. Morgana’s letter was very clear, and Arthur smoothed things over as best he could. Now it will just take time for Uther to adjust.

He switches topics to he and Merlin, bringing up their conversation from before. Merlin tries to laugh it off, but Arthur is in no laughing matter and makes clear advances.

Merlin panics and runs, making Arthur think he has made a terrible mistake.

Chapter 9

He wanders the castle, feeling terrible. He never even thought through the possibility that Merlin wouldn’t be interested. He didn’t know how being attracted to men was supposed to work, but if he could do it, couldn’t other men? And even if all men couldn’t, this was Merlin. There was something about the two of them that just felt sort of…inevitable. Arthur wanders into the knights’ barracks, where they’ve set up a sort of clubhouse pub. Arthur often drops by in a ‘we’re all off the clock’ fashion. The men are having an average night of beer and socializing, and Arthur drops in and begs for a drink.

Gwaine takes front position and asks what’s up. Arthur gets a bit drunk and then explains that he made a move on Merlin and messed things up. He’s angry with himself for being an arrogant prat, assuming Merlin would be interested. Gwaine and the boys politely inform Arthur that….well duh! Of course, Merlin wants him! The boy has been in love with Arthur since day one, everyone knows that. They assure Arthur that if Merlin said no, it wasn’t because he didn’t want Arthur- it was because he felt for whatever other reason that he wasn’t allowed.

Arthur knows then what he has to do. He tells the boys that this will go down in history as the worst week of Uther’s life.

Chapter 10

“Are you telling me, that after everything this week. After the closest thing I have to a daughter went gallivanting off with no plan whatsoever, that my only son is in love with his manservant?!”

Arthur explains to Uther that he just wants to know the steps needed in pursuing a relationship with Merlin. They fight a bit and Uther tells him that there really isn’t any precedent for this- if it were a woman he’d be telling him he’s a prince, so as long as he treats the woman with respect he can do as he likes.

“Then let’s treat this the same way.”

“I hardly think this is the same.”

“It is father.” Steely cold gaze. Firm stare. No room for argument.

Uther says he won’t be allowed to be his manservant anymore. And depending on how the relationship progresses certain changes will need to be made- Merlin’s wardrobe, accommodations, title, etc.  

Arthur says he understand. He’ll work on finding Merlin a more suitable position- letting him apprentice of Gaius full time or work in the archives.

As he leaves he can hear Uther venting to Ygraine.

Chapter 11

Arthur combs the castle looking for Merlin but can’t find him anywhere. He goes to ask Gaius where he might be. Gaius says he’s gone to talk with an old friend and not to worry. Arthur sits, exhausted from his search. Gaius gently asks if Arthur is quite sure he knows what he’s doing, Arthur assures him that he’s never been surer of anything. He is unfortunately quite in love with the oaf.

Gaius says in that case, he may need to prepare for the possibility that Merlin has a life and secrets of his own that, as his Prince and employer, Arthur knew nothing about. Gaius loves Merlin like a son, and respects Arthur deeply. He would be quite displeased if Arthur got angry with Merlin for not being the simple man he thought he was.

Arthur is very confused by this advice but feels his love for Merlin like a solid thing in his chest, and decides he is not worried.

Chapter 12

That night Merlin returns to Arthur’s bedchamber for his nightly duties, acting flustered. Arthur chides him a bit (out of habit) then switches tactics, sitting him down and explaining that he doesn’t have to worry. He’s spoken to Uther and their relationship won’t be hindered or scandalized. Merlin can stay employed in the castle and continue his work with Gaius. Merlin gets angry at Arthur’s presumption, and that he just decided to go ahead with this without speaking to Merlin. “Did it ever occur to you there might be some other reason? Maybe I find you repulsive- ever think of that?” They go back and forth before Merlin is forced to reveal his sorcery. Arthur is shocked, Merlin makes to storm out, but Arthur tells him to stay.

“All this time…why haven’t you killed me?” Merlin laughs and has to explain to Arthur that magic has nothing to do with evil.  “I’ve actually spent most of my time working to save your life. Not for any ounce of credit mind you…”

They go through a short bit about how their destinies are tied together (a dragon told me) and Arthur laughs for the first time- he always suspected as such.

Arthur wants confirmation that Merlin does truly in fact want him (honestly mate, where are your priorities right now?) and they kiss. Arthur assures him that this is one thing they just cannot tell his father. Merlin wholeheartedly agrees.

Chapter 13- A year or so later…

It’s Uther’s Feast day and Morgana has come home for a visit. She travelled with the islanders for a while before splitting off to spend some time in a desert oasis with some shamans. They told her about a mythic library in the East- that’s where she’s headed next.  

Merlin is in fact no longer Arthur’s manservant, but head librarian and archivist for a college Arthur founded. On the surface it is meant to fund the arts, but Merlin and Gaius also use it to seek out possible magical practitioners and give them a safe place to study.

At the feast Arthur gets tipsy and Merlin takes him up to bed before he can embarrass himself. They flirt (Arthur complains they don’t see each other enough, Merlin reminds him they have sex and sleep together nearly every night. Arthur says exactly.  Merlin rolls his eyes. They talk about the college a bit and Arthur’s own attempts to ease Uther’s zeal for sorcerer killing- Arthur promises to restore magic to its former glory as soon as he is in charge. Merlin tells him his heart is in the right place, but he fears too much damage has been done. Arthur persists in his confidence, stating finally ‘I cannot believe my own husband doesn’t believe in me!” “Am I your husband? Someone forgot to tell me.” “Oh, you will be my husband Merlin- just you wait. And since this is an unavoidable eventuality, I’ve decided I may as well start using the term now. So, you’ll just have to get used to it.” Merlin smiles and agrees, and the two fall asleep.

[ofjcnos-blog]

theres me, and then theres trash and honestly??? the difference is not big at all ASDFJ. with that in mind, you can call me gi ! and well, let me just say i might suck at introductions but i am so so so excited for this group and to see all of these muses come to life !!

the app ….

★彡 ( cindy kimberly + twenty + muse 37 ) isn’t that juno navarro over there? i heard she joined faction greek after they got back to west ham. it’s funny, ‘cause they were only on the service trip because OF HER INVOLVEMENT IN HER SORORITY. hopefully they fit in there – they’re EFFULGENT, but also OBSTREPEROUS. oh, i’m sure they’ll be fine. 

the synthesis …

white colored toe nails dipped into salty waters, coconut scented shampoo lingering on hair strands, giggles falling through plump lips while sneaking through windows at three am, juno evangeline navarro is gripping words of a novel dancing on paper. the concept of her pulling you into an ocean that you dont want to remove yourself from no matter how much water fills your lungs. the second child, and the baby of the family in and out, juno story takes place by the coast. her childhood into her teen years reeking of beach days, bonfires, year long tans, and memories that would last a lifetime. her father, raising his two children with the help of only his parents always did the best to make sure his girls grew up in a safe environment. one filled with love and support. and for that, he gained not only the title of best friend in their hearts, but their rock, their world. their grandparents of course only one step behind him. and their mother? being a story that juno tried to burry between the lines. drown in her happiness, her family, her friends. not wanting to think about her, feel anything for her. juno seemed to do everything and anything she could to rid her head of memories of her. and considering her mother took her and her sibling, and dropped them off on the front steps of their fathers house , at only six , and never looked back again no one can say they blame her.

personality ….

known as the lion hearted, juno is light and love combined with a sense of playfulness and ebullient that you can somehow never get out of your head . she is a big hearted beauty, who loves with her all and as her sibling would tell her loves too hard. good intentions flow throughout her body, and despite her claiming up and down that she doesn’t need anybody she is truly someone who attaches themselves to you. she is always teasing somebody, and has a sense of adventure that surely comes from her upbringing. she feels most at home surrounding by friends, and family. she is someone who will drag you out of bed in the middle of the night for a late night drive with good music, and the first person who’ll jump in front of a bullet for you. she feels deeply, but does not always know how to deal with those feelings. she can be jealous, stubborn, and trust issues are rooted so deeply into her she doesnt know where they begin and she ends. she loves laughing, and feeling alive? which she will do anything to achieve. its like her own little high and shes an addict. an adrenaline junkie her father would call her. she’s affectionate with those she loves, and of course when shes drunk. she craves meaningful connections with those around her, and falls into a darkness when she feels as if shes disconnected. her mother left this sense of needing to be needed and wanted within her, but shes dealing.

misc/head cannons/extras ….

aesthetics ;; the wind against your skin as you hang out the passengers side window, simple shaped necklaces hanging between collarbones, swatches of highlighters filling her arms after a trip in sephora, singing loudly in the back of ubers, dancing and singing in the shower as if shes at her own concert, french vanilla iced coffee, tan feet in clear ocean waters, coconut tanning oil, strawberry flavored chapstick and strawberry flavored vodka, glossy lips, flowered skinned juuls, moans in the backseat of her car, affectionate hugs, colorful facemasks, text messages to friends that start with ‘biiitccchhh’, snapchat filters, conspiracy theories, neck kisses, soft giggles, glittery bath bombs, fruit platters, the sound of the ocean, dancing around in her room with nothing but panties on.

i want to say that despite her sorority?? she’s not a ; every man for themselves ‘ kind of person? like she is that girl to help, to share, to confide in. and the only reason she kind of stuck with her fraction is because they are her people? like her loyalty and attachment refuses to let her not stick with them? 

she’s majoring in psychology, and full heartedly loves it? but it is something that is definitely deeper then just finding a career path for her. even if she wont fully admit it.

for the longest time? she use to have sleep terrors, she even went to therapy for two years because of it. they dont happen too much anymore, but here and there she gets them. of course this came from her mother. 

* her mother abandoned her on her fathers front steps, and its a memory that still lives in her head? that and the drug issue her mom had. 

connections ….

platonic soulmates, childhood friends, friends who drifted away, family friends, cousins on either her mother or fathers side, first love, classmates, a tutor??, friend group she’s inseparable with, ex best friends, ex lovers, friends with benefits, neighbors, someone who broke her heart, college roommates, someone she uses for sex, someone who uses her for sex, bad and good influences, a confidant, her ‘mom’ friend, just give me everything and anything please.